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#It's messy and much easier to just Get once you've done a bit of reading and absorbed the info by osmosis
seajelllies · 7 months
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𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑷𝑻𝑬𝑹 𝟏 ♡︎ What do you mean we had homework? masterlist ✎ roll call 1 ✎ roll call 2
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"Took you long enough." You mused, not even bothering to look up at Yuji as he lets out an exasperated sigh, flopping into the chair across from you.
"That wasn't fair, I've never been here before, you should've been more specific." He almost whines, slumping over the table with a defeated frown.
"Mhm. Not my fault. You should've been around here months ago." You hum, before pushing the first few pages of your notes over to him, eyes still glued on the textbook you were highlighting. "Or you know, take your own notes for once."
Yuji happily slides the pages closer to him, yanking out his own notebook to start copying everything. It was clear by the goofy grin on his face that he was not processing any of the information he was writing out, simply just trying to get the information down so he can forget about it later.
"But then I won't have an excuse to see you!"
"Even if you didn't have an excuse, you'd find a way to bother me."
He smiles at that, and your lips curling up into a slight smile of your own was not lost on him. Not even 5 minutes go by before he sighs, leaning back in his chair, already over the notes. He barely copied anything down, and what he did copy looked so much like chicken scratch you'd be surprised if he could even understand it himself.
"I don't understand how you even know what you're reading about." He groans, head in his hands as he rubs his face with a tired sigh. "Nothing makes sense. If this wasn't required for my major I would've dropped this class immediately."
"It's not that hard to grasp, once you get used to the basics." You shrug, twirling your pen in between your fingers. "You just have to pay attention."
"Have you seen the professor? I don't think he's even paying attention. He sounds like he's already 6 feet under." Yuji scoffs, shaking his head with another heavy sigh. You could tell he was over this already.
"Professor Yoshinobu is like 76. Of course he's going to sound like that. He's still good at explaining the material-" You glance at Yuji and you can see him nearly zoning out, hardly listening. You frown, reaching forward to flick his forehead.
Yuji blinks out of his thoughts, and the moment you get his attention you snap lightly in his face. "Look, see, it's not really that hard.." And you end up spending the remainder of what should have been your self study time, going over the material from last weeks class. You were so engrossed in trying to explain things in simpler terms, you didn't even notice that he genuinely started paying attention, leaning forward to nod his head.
The two of you end up filling up his notebook with the notes you took, as well as his own personal notes in an attempt to dumb things down so he could process them easier later. And before you know it, you're getting kicked out for staying past the rental hour you originally placed.
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𝑻𝒐𝒅𝒂𝒚'𝒔 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒔!
︾ you've been bamboozled, no Sukuna this chapter >:) sorry about that, i wanted to include something like Yuji talking to Sukuna or smthn but !! i figured it'd be easier if sukuna was just not there and then gets randomly barged in on by y/n and yuji tmw 🧍‍♀️
︾ anyways is it messy?? weird?? ooc?? sorry i haven't written in forever >: i've also never done a smau before, please don't look too closely at the time stamps on the messages and tweets i was too lazy to accurately adjusting them;; sobbing
︾ ANYWAYS SUKUNA NEXT CHAPTER I PINKY PROMISE!!! Mostly him & y/n anyways with bits of Yuji.
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not-xpr-art · 2 years
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just wanted to share a few comparisons to show how my digital painting skills have developed over the years!
(these were all done with the same brush type on the same program btw!)
see below for a mini kinda Art Advice post where i go into each of these comparisons!
wanna start by saying the brush i used for all these pieces is the 'watercolour' brush on firealpaca... essentially just a default flat brush that usually comes with most software!
the first two are to show unintentional messiness vs intentional messiness. a lot of my early art had a pretty messy quality to it purely because i was still unfamiliar with the mechanics of digital! (though i will say, i think i was going for a more painter-ly style in the 2015 art anyway because i was basing it on pre-raphaelite works)
i think once you become a lot more familiar with certain mediums, you allow yourself to be a bit more confident with the brushstrokes you make! the 2022 piece is one where i wanted to create a sense of texture, almost like a digital version of impasto (aka thick layers of paint), and i know better now how to use digital software to create this kind of effect!
and you can see with the next row & the 2016 piece that i managed to create a much smoother, more blended appearance whilst still using the same brush! a part of my improvement came from me allowing myself to spend a little longer on pieces, especially in those first few years. i think a lot of beginners to digital (or any other kind of medium for that matter) think that if they spend the same amount of time on a piece as they would in another medium that they're more familiar with they'll get the same results, but it doesn't really work that way lol... especially if you're very new to digital... my advice here, then, would be to allow yourself to be slow at figuring out the medium (and let yourself make mistakes!)
going back to the 2016 vs 2022 comparison, i wanted to include this to show how sometimes you can keep things still messy, but still controlled and complete looking! also, remember that in digital most programs will let you adjust the 'colour mixing levels' or another similar 'blending level' option, which essentially just means how much the strokes blend or don't blend into what you've already painted... (knowing this would have made blending a whole lot easier back in 2016 lemme tell you lol.....)
(i also wanted to include that comparison cos it looks like they're looking at each other and i find it funny pfft)
the final comparison is, again, to show how controlled brushstrokes can give a piece a simultaneously painter-ly and smooth appearance! in both the 2015 and 2023 pieces, i wasn't super precise in my painting skills. but the 2023, to me at least, doesn't look as messy purely in the way i've been able to use the brush!
i mainly wanted to share this because i spent a long time trying to make my paintings look smooth, and i definitely do still do this in some artworks (particularly if i'm using fluffy/textured brushes), but i realised that i really enjoyed being able to create messy works that overall feel more finished due to the painting skills i've developed over the years!
i also just want to say that i'm not saying that either of these sides are 'better' than the other, they're just a few different ways i've approached art in my years as a digital artist! my observational drawing skills have grown a lot since the left side pieces, but i still think there's a lot to like in my early works and i'm definitely still very proud of them!
~~
thanks for reading & feel free to check out my other art advice posts and consider tipping me here on tumblr or heading to my kofi if you wanna support me! (no pressure ofc!!) <3
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stealthnoodle · 2 years
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Genuine question, how do you improve your fanfiction writing skills? I got a new special interest recently and I want to write about it. I haven't worked on anything in a decade and it feels like my skills have regressed. I miss writing fanfiction (especially femslash) so much and I want to get back into it.
There are probably as many different approaches to this are there are people who write, but here's what works for me!
One thing I do think is universally true is that the only way to get better is to keep putting words down, even if you're frustrated by the quality of them. (And it is so frustrating to come back to writing after a long break and feel like you've forgotten how to string words together. I have been there! It's the worst!) So Step One, I think, is to figure out what you need to do to make it easier to brain dump. Skip over scenes you're not in the mood to write. Use placeholders like "[Witty reply]" or "[does something to show she's angry]" if you get stuck. Don't worry about using too many adverbs or repeating yourself.
If you're someone who struggles with anxiety when you sit down to write (hi, it's me), take steps to relax yourself so that your brain's filter won't get in the way too much. Maybe you put on some motivating music. Maybe you exercise your way into some endorphins first. Maybe you're me and you've mastered getting high enough to chill out without chilling out so hard you end up staring at the ceiling for an hour. "Write drunk, edit sober" doesn't have to be literal advice, but I like the spirit of it.
Once you've got a bunch of words to work with, pat yourself on the back! Maybe later you can revise your brain dump into something you want to show other people. Maybe you hate it and just want to do an autopsy to understand why. Either way, you've done something valuable just by getting those words out. Go through them and make notes, even if your notes are as vague as "This character's voice sounds a little off" or "This scene doesn't fit here." I like to highlight chunks of text I feel especially iffy about in green. And on the flip side, even the biggest mess is probably going to have something you like enough to repurpose somewhere else. I write in Scrivener, and all of my projects have a "Bits and Scraps" file for this purpose. 10/10, would recommend.
Speaking of which, "Kill your darlings" is terrible advice. Stash your darlings away for later. I have written a truly ridiculous number of words that never ended up turning into a story I could be satisfied with, and being able to reframe my thinking from "Ugh, what a waste of effort" to "Wow, that was a lot of great practice, and now I've got a document full of turns of phrase and jokes and plot points I can recycle" has made a huge difference for me.
My other tip is to spend time deconstructing other people's writing in your brain to understand why it works. Some people don't enjoy doing this when they're reading for fun, and they're probably better off trying this on a reread; I am the kind of weirdo who will stop in delight when I come across something I find effective and rotate it in my mind like a 3-D Tetris block. (As a messy bitch who loves writing out of sequence, I'm always on the lookout for especially smooth pacing and transitions that I can try to emulate.) When you read fics with characterizations that you like, try comparing the characters' speech and actions to their canon selves and see if you can trace how the author extrapolated from them; when you read fics with characterizations you don't like, see if you can articulate to yourself why they feel off to you.
Hopefully at least some of that wall of text is helpful, lol. Good luck, anon! I am rooting for you to make the girls kiss!
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the-busy-ghost · 4 years
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Lords and Lairds and Ladles
And while I’m on the subject of names and titles, it’s worth pointing out another easily mixed up custom that prevailed until at least the end of the sixteenth century (and probably later, it’s not my specialty).
If you were a nobleman whose surname happened to be ‘Kennedy’ or ‘Douglas’ or ‘Gordon’, that does not mean that you would necessarily be referred to as Lord Kennedy or Lord Douglas or Lord Gordon. Those are very specific titles which belong to specific members of those families. 
You MIGHT be referred to as ‘my lord’ as like an honorific, if you were a nobleman or a bishop or an abbot- for example, ‘my lord of Aberdeen’ would be the bishop of Aberdeen while ‘my lord of Murray’ could be either the bishop of Moray (most likely) or the earl of Moray (less likely, but still happened) or, very rarely, a nobleman with the surname Murray. However none of these people would hold the official title ‘Lord Aberdeen’ or ‘Lord Murray’, nor should they be referred to as such. 
Sometimes contemporary sources do make mistakes- in particular English diplomats often got mixed up when referring to Scottish nobles, and they might, for example, refer to any male member Kennedy family as ‘Lord Kennedy’, even if they didn’t mean the person who actually held that title. But it does not seem to have been common practice back in the fifteenth and sixteenth centuries, and it certainly isn’t correct to refer to sixteenth century noblemen who didn’t hold a lordship of parliament using those titles in modern historical writing.
I am not au fait with English titles, but it seems that, nowadays, historians generally use the title ‘lord’ much more flexible- I have seen multiple members of the Howard family, alive at the same time, referred to as ‘Lord Howard’ in secondary sources. Whether that was actually the custom in the 16th century I don’t know, but certainly nobody seems to bat an eyelid now. 
But as a general (flexible) rule, Lord Hamilton is the man who has been specifically granted the title, not just any nobleman with the surname Hamilton. In 1503, Lord Drummond refers usually to John, 1st Lord Drummond, not any of his sons, and not one of the lairds of Innerpeffray who also bore the surname Drummond. There is a level in the Scottish peerage known as being a ‘lord of parliament’ and these lordships of parliament are an important concept, if sometimes complex. 
This is also why laird and lord are not exact synonyms. Yes laird initially stems from the concept of being someone’s lord, and most lords of parliament were also lairds (as were earls and dukes). Sometimes in poetry and prose you will find lord spelt like laird. But in a strict sense, lairds are a lower level of the nobility than the men called ‘Lord’- although lots of lairds, especially those employed at the royal court, could be influential too.
But when speaking plainly Lord Hume does not usually mean the same thing as ‘Laird Hume’. For example Alexander Hume, 3rd Lord Hume, who got his head cut off in 1516 was ‘Lord Hume’- he held the lordship of parliament and, though some might have disagreed, he would probably be thought of as representing the senior line of the family. Several of his kinsmen who bore the surname Hume were lairds though, such as the laird of Cowdenknowes and the laird of Wedderburn. Technically, Lord Hume was a laird too, in the explicit sense of someone who holds lordship over others. But a laird tended to be an ill-defined and lower level of lordship. Calling Lord Hume ‘Laird Hume’ would be like referring to the Duke of York solely by his knightly title Sir Edmund of Langley- he was both, but one of those is his highest title and the other is merely a subsidiary extra. 
Hence how James Hamilton, 6th Laird of Cadzow is created, in 1445, James, 1st Lord Hamilton. His son was later created Earl of Arran in 1503. But while the Hamiltons were an important, large, and influential kindred, this did not mean that other male members of the family were Lord Hamilton. Sometimes they might be Lord Hamilton of XXX (a location) or given another title altogether like Lord Paisley (for Claud Hamilton, third son of the 2nd Earl, in 1587). 
Alternatively Alexander Gordon, 2nd Lord Gordon, was made Earl of Huntly in 1457. In the sixteenth century we often find the eldest legitimate sons and heirs of the Earls of Huntly bearing the title Lord Gordon. Alternatively, they could be known as the ‘Master’ of Huntly, a common term indicating that the holder was the heir to the estate. But younger sons were not generally referred to as ‘Lord Gordon’ unless they had been granted possession of that lordship by the Earl of Huntly or someone with equal authority- for example, if they were the heir apparent while their older brother was childless. Otherwise they were usually just ‘my lord James Gordon’, or ‘Sir Adam Gordon of Auchindoun’ or ‘Alexander Gordon, the Laird of Lochinver’. 
As for their ladies, both lords and lairds’ wives might be referred to as lady, but in slightly different ways. So, had she not already borne a title from her first marriage (Countess of Bothwell), the wife of Alexander, 3rd Lord Hume would have been “Agnes Stewart, Lady Hume”. However the wife of Lord Hume’s distant kinsman David Hume of Wedderburn would be “Alison Douglas, the Lady of Wedderburn”, and the wife of the laird of Cowdenknowes would be perhaps “[Dame] Elizabeth Stewart, [the] Lady [of] Cowdenknowes”. Obviously full names were not always given, and bits and pieces get added and taken away, this was just to give a rough idea. 
DAUGHTERS on the other hand are never Lady Hume or Lady Elphinstone, unless they inherited the lordship. Lord Erskine’s wife is Lady Erskine, but his daughters are not all Lady Erskine as well, though they might become ladies of their husband’s title- Margaret Erskine, Lady of Lochleven because she married the laird (not lord) of Lochleven. Though their first name might be put in there to make it easier- Lady/Mistress Barbara Hamilton for example, who then becomes ‘Dame Barbara Hamilton, Lady Gordon’ or Lady Janet Stewart/Mistress Stewart who becomes ‘Dame Janet Stewart, Lady Fleming’ but never just Lady Stewart. 
The way people are ‘referred’ to in sources from sixteenth century Scotland is very fluid and flexible (and it doesn’t help that a lot of sources are from English or French writers who didn’t know the difference anyway). But from a modern perspective there are just certain unwritten rules. They’re generally easier to pick up naturally through reading primary and secondary sources than to explain exactly. The concept of a ‘laird’ is often confusing and ill-defined, but a lordship of parliament on the other hand meant something. Lord Crichton was not the same as Lord Crichton of Sanquhar, and certainly not the same as any number of lairds or younger sons who had the surname Crichton but held lands that weren’t associated with the lordship of parliament. Lord Lindsay of Crawford referred to the men who became earls of Crawford, but there was also Lord Lindsay of the Byres, and then a bunch of lairds and knights like Sir David Lindsay of the Mount who shouldn’t strictly be called ‘Lord Lindsay’. Stewart of Innermeath, Stewart of Darnley (later son of the earl of Lennox) and Stewart of Ochiltree all held lordships of parliament, but usually they would be referred to as Lord Innermeath, Lord Darnley, and Lord Ochiltree, even if theoretically they were all Lords Stewart. Then there’s a whole host of minor branches of the Stewart family whose heads can loosely be described as lairds, not lords. And in the plural, for example when referring to the political community, people usually refer to the Scots lords (as in the ‘lords of the parliament’ or ‘lords of the council’) not the Scottish lairds. 
And then of course churchmen come along and mess everything up even further, but we won’t get into that. 
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joealwyndaily · 2 years
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Joe Alwyn interview with Arena HOMME+
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Lenny Abrahamson: In Conversations with Friends your character, Nick, is an actor. And there's a scene where Frances asks him about his work and Nick says that the thing he likes about acting, as opposed to real life, is 'knowing what to say, what comes next.' Is there anything in this that chimes with your own relationship with what you do?
Joe Alwyn: I find that very hard to answer, so thanks for starting there Lenny!... But I guess one: it means I don't have to be myself, and two, it means I do get to be myself! That sounds really unclear, I know, but what I mean is I like playing other people because you get to step out of your own shoes, and there's a part of me that has always liked that removal. But at the same time, in pretending to be someone else, in totally unrelated and ridiculous circumstances, there's an odd kind of catharsis. You can funnel yourself through other people and express things that you might otherwise put a lid on and bury as 'you'. And so there can be this great feeling of release. Jesus, I don't know if that makes any sense?? But with my character Nick... Well, I don't think it's as crippling for me, Joe, as it is for Nick, with regards to knowing what to say, or what comes next. I certainly like the structure of the job in general, once you have it. A few months of knowing where you're going to be and what you're going to work on, that's a nice luxury before the panic of not knowing what's next kicks in.
LA: After a day's filming, can you let it go or do you rethink and critique what you've done? How do you get along with yourself when you're working?
JA: I'm British, so I think it's in my nature to second-guess and rethink what I've done. I'd love to have a bit more of that American self-belief, but it just seems to built into our bones to question everything we do. I do it more at the start of a shoot when I'm still finding my feet and wondering why on earth I've been trusted to do the job. It gets easier as it goes on, but I suppose I'm harder on myself more often than kind, which is something I'm trying to work on and change. I feel like working on this show taught me a huge amount. And to be clear, I had so, so much fun making this. It was a dream job and in many ways I could not have been happier. I feel ridiculously lucky. So, thank you, Lenny...
LA: Do you remember how you felt when you first read Conversations with Friends? What excited you about it? Now that you've seen what we made together, do you think we've captured the things you admired about the book?
JA: I loved it when I read it. I loved how human they all were, Sally's characters. And I loved how it was funny and moving and extraordinary and had these huge shifts but actually always in quite a subtle way. It just felt very real. I've not seen all of our episodes yet but I do think we held onto those qualities. At least I hope we have. And really that starts with you, Lenny! The way that you approached the material, you seem to interrogate every line and moment in such detail, looking at all the possibilities of what each beat could be. Your knack for building a world that just feels really, really genuine — complex and intricate and alive and subtle — is amazing. It's there in a lot of your work — obviously most recently in Normal People. An attention to detail (without ever being overbearing) that creates these very real worlds and people, and watching how you track each of us within that… it's incredible to see. I also think that to accept the complexity of what Sally is talking about you have to see both positives and negatives in all the characters. It's not as simple as having good and bad. There's a joy in accepting the complexity of it all, and so you can't really ever know exactly who you're fully ‘rooting’ for. There can't be an outright villain or anything. I think that feels well done here.  it's messy and complicated in the right way.
LA: Forgive me for this, but what's it like being so handsome? I promise this is a straight up and very serious question!
JA: If it helps, I'm incredibly stupid.
LA: One of the great pleasures for me in making this show was watching how you and the other actors formed such strong bonds and how much fun you had. How would you describe the dynamic between you all?
JA: We got lucky there! When you spend five months with a group of people you cross your fingers that you'll get along. And we all really did. We were shooting in a time of partial lockdown, so we had no choice but to hang out with each other on the weekends. Luckily, everyone just clicked. And I think that really fed into the work on screen too. we all weirdly morphed into our characters a bit but maybe that's inevitable. It was great though — it was a job, but it was also a really special life experience with a special group. We'd be filming on the beach in Croatia during the week, only to all go back to the same spot at the weekend. It was just so much fun.
LA: Most of your big scenes are with the wonderful Alison Oliver who plays Frances. How was it working with her?
JA: It's incredible that this is her first role out of drama school. She's wonderful in the show. I don't think that there could have been a better Frances. She brings so much to the role and worked so hard, and you could see that each day on set. Beyond her being so talented, she was just the most joyful, genuinely excited person to have around; completely positive and willing to jump in and try anything. It was inspiring to see that positivity and enthusiasm each day.
LA: What was it like playing a middle-class South Dubliner? How did you work on the accent and get a sense of that very specific world?
JA: I remember you when I chatting right after being cast and wondering whether we wanted to do this British or Irish. the South Dublin voice we landed on isn't too far from home, really. In some ways I find that trickier, when there isn't a huge departure from how you normally sound. It really is quite light and almost anglicized. We also decided that this was someone who had spent a number of years in London, and was married to a Brit… so his accent was at a place where it come a lot softer than it could be. I listen to a lot of people like Andrew Scott and Tom Vaughn-Lawlor, worked a lot with the wonderful coaches — Neil Swain and Judith McSpadden — and luckily, you and Ed [Guiney] we're never too far out of earshot! I didn't want it too twangy, which I noticed it can sometimes be. That didn't feel right for Nick. It was useful talking to you about that very particular world and upbringing. And although in some ways it's very different, it was useful to get a flavour of some of those types of schools and boys and backgrounds from What Richard Did.
LA: I think it's hard for people in our industry who gets a lot of attention not to let it go to their heads. You manage to be open, generous and kind to everyone that you're working with. How do you guard against becoming disconnected from other people?
JA: Well, thanks for saying that but I make sure my days include plenty of crippling insecurity, impostor syndrome, and self-doubt. Plus, I'm awful to people behind their backs! No, I guess because why wouldn't you be? it makes me frustrated, the rare times that you see people treat others unkindly on set. Who do you think you are?! I don't know. you don't see it often, and I'm lucky that I've never worked with a real tyrant, but I've seen flavours of that kind of behaviour and it doesn't help anyone. I honestly think I'd find it harder to work if I ostracized myself from people in that way. it's also literally our job to stay very connected and empathize with others… not to disconnect altogether and stand on some higher ground.
LA: Now that you worked with me, does it feel like you've peaked? Joking aside — I'm not joking — who are the film makers you'd be most excited to collaborate with?
JA: During these past few months that you've been in postproduction, I finally managed to process and (just about) come to terms with the fact that you were indeed my peak, my everything, my summit. My perfect pint of Guinness on a warm, sunny day. Where do I go from here? In all honesty, I have an overly long list of people I'd love to work with. Brace yourself… Off the top of my head… Chloé Zhao, Rob Eggers, Sean Durkin, Lynne Ramsey, the Coens, Luca Guadagnino, Debra Granik, Eliza Hittman, PTA, Francis Lee, Barry Jenkins, Martin McDonagh, Guillermo Del Toro, Chris Nolan, Andrea Arnold, Ruben Östlund, László Nemes, Greta Gerwig, Craig Gillespie… Okay enough! But it goes on…
LA: I love The Souvenir Part 2. Joanna Hogg is a brilliant filmmaker with a particular way of working with script. How was that experience for you?
JA: I loved being a part of that film! Joanna doesn't, to my knowledge, ever give a script to the actors, so everything is improvised. You have no idea what the full story is, and only a few directions are given as to the shape of the scene. I found the improvisation scary but oddly liberating, and really refreshing. There's nowhere to hide. You can't not listen to whoever you're talking to. There is no incoming queue. It feels real and alive. And Joanna will curate the scene after each take, honing in on the bits that worked well. I only popped in for a couple of days on the film but I'm so happy to have been a part of it and I'd love to work with Joanna again. Yes, she's a brilliant filmmaker.
LA: Now that we are close to broadcasting the show, do you feel nervous about how it will be received, particularly in light of the success of Normal People?
JA: I don't think it's hit me at the people will actually see it. it still feels like we're in this bubble of making it, maybe because the turn around was so fast and we only finished a few months ago… or maybe because it was created in the pandemic. Inevitably, as with anything, there are nerves about people seeing it. I do feel that it's very different to normal people though. it shares similar qualities, but it does feel very much its own thing. it isn't 'Normal People Part II,’ and I think that separation helps. I'm happy that people will see the show soon. I hope it will at least spark some conversations… with… well, I don't know, perhaps, their friends? Alright, enough for me! thanks so much for taking the time to ask me these questions, Lenny. I appreciate it. See you soon for a pint.  
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I’m On Fire [Chapter 2]
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With her sister’s wedding fast approaching and her Mom hounding her about finding a date, Y/N makes a terrible decision that lands her and her least favorite genius in a confusing situation.
Chapter Summary: Y/N and Spencer start to put a plan together.
A/N:  I’ve got a head cold at the mo’ but I had to get a covid test just in case so I’m not allowed leave my room till I get the results! So enjoy a bonus chapter while I wallow on my own for like 36 hours :( On a positive note, thank you guys all so much for the response to chapter 1 I really didn’t see that coming! I’ve tagged everyone who asked, let me know if you wanna be added
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem Reader
Category: Fake Dating, Enemies to Lovers, (Eventual) Smut, Fluff, Angst, it’s a Slow Burn Baby
Warnings: Cursing, some NSFW language/themes
Word Count: 6.1k
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"Are you coming up or what?"
The question was still ringing in my ears. It caught me completely off guard. 'Up' as in up to Spencer's apartment? Where he lived? I knew he lived somewhere in theory, just like I knew deep down that he wasn't made in a test tube. 
Without noticing I've undone my seatbelt and I'm hopping out of the car, following him around to the front door. I guess I am coming up.
Spencer's apartment is more cosy than I thought it was going to be. It's warm and lived in. It's not big, but I think that might be what makes it homely. Something about the way he behaves had me thinking it would be fully decked out in stainless steel or glass or something. But it wasn't pristine, it was messy. 
There were books bursting from the shelves that lined the walls of the apartment, along with books laid open over nearly every surface in the place, it looked like he was in the middle of reading all of them, and honestly, I didn't doubt it. Maybe I'd misjudged him. He even had some photos of what looked like his family, and maybe friends, even some of the BAU, lining his walls or propped up on his mantle. He had little trinkets and souvenirs on his shelves too, evidence that he'd been around the country for reasons other than a case. I would never admit it to him but there was a real charm to the place.
Once we got inside he took off his bag and suit jacket, tossing them on the desk just inside of the door. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do, and he seemed to pick up on my awkward energy.
"You can make yourself at home" he said, his confident streak remaining. I had no idea what to do with that. What would even make me comfortable in Spencer Reid's apartment? I took a seat on his sofa and just sat with my hands resting in my lap. Really not even sure where I should look without feeling like I was invading his privacy. Even though I wanted to. I think it was morbid curiosity, looking for clues on who this man might actually be outside of the BAU. What I really wanted to do was stand up and walk around, soaking in every bit if this place as if it would help me decipher our messy relationship.
He returned to the living room a few moments later, two mismatched mugs in his hands. He places one in front of me on the coffee table. I pick it up and take a sip. It's lemon and ginger, how did he know what kind of tea I liked? I held the mug in my hands inhaling the steam in an effort to relax. When I look up he's watching me, arms folded across his chest.
"So, how does this thing work. What's the game plan?" I honestly have no real idea. This evening really got away from me, I was still expecting to snap out of it and wake up in my bed at any moment.
"Well I can't say I've ever been in a Sandra Bullock movie before either so this is uncharted territory for me too" I say with a chuckle, trying to ease the tension. Even a little. I can see him crack a small smile but hides it almost instantly, his face hardening again.
"My sister, Margot, she's getting married in like 4 months." I can feel myself tense and I shake out my shoulders, I have to remind myself that he's agreed to this already, "Fuck it, I'm just going to be honest with you. My Mom's mostly freaked out that I'm too attached to this job and that I'll just never find someone again." I shouldn't have said again, fuck. I hope he didn't pick up on that. Who am I kidding. "Even though, I'm not sure I care if I do or don't?" he doesn't say anything, like he's waiting for me to continue. I know I've shared a little too much already but I keep going.
"Margot's 2 years younger than me, I introduced her to her fiancé Philip, we met in college, he's a sweetheart. But since they've gotten engaged Mom's gotten exponentially weirder. I think she's convinced I'm fully going to die alone, as if that would be the worst thing that could ever happen? Anyway, she's been trying to auction me off to all these guys, using this wedding as an excuse. I'm not sure how much of that phone call you actually heard earlier but Mom was trying to sell me on this guy, David, and I just… snapped." I look up at Spencer and he unfolds his arms, leaning in ever so slightly coaxing the story out of me.
"David, he uh, he worked for my father for a while back in high school, filing documents and stuff, busy work mostly. He used to make out with me when he was at our house after school, but then he'd ignore me in the halls the next morning. I know it's because I was a pariah back then or something but I didn't want to think about it today and I just got worked up. I shouldn't have let on that you were my date, I was just going to ask if I could bring Garcia or something, and I'm sorry." I cover my face in my hands, "I'm insane, you can back out if you want to."
I can hear him move from his spot on the opposite side of the sofa, he takes my wrists and gently pulls my hands from my face. He looks into my eyes, "I'm in this now Y/N, what do you need me to do?" he asks, and there's a genuine earnest in his voice that I think I've only ever heard a handful of times. And it's never been directed at me.
"Okay, well we've got a few months before you ha–, wait, fuck!" I throw my head back, there's already a complication, "shit" I curse under my breath. His eyebrows knit together, sitting upright.
"What's the matter?" he asks.
"I forgot about my Mom's 50th, it's next month. They've got this whole huge party planned back home in upstate New York. I've gotta go and they'll probably want to meet you, or they're gonna have a load of questions for me at least. I can try and get you out of it I'm sure"
He gets that cocky look again, he shakes his head "I don't know, I've always liked a bit of competition" he reclines back into his corner of the sofa, taking a satisfied sip from his own mug before speaking again. "You know, if I've got to learn enough to pass as your boyfriend in a month, surely that means you've got to learn enough to pass as my girlfriend within the month, no?"
Oh god. What have I done, why didn't I think this far ahead. "I mean, yeah I guess you're right." I had to remember he was doing me a favor. I had to get over myself. "Okay, if you're sure you're up for that?" I ask, and he nods, and I think he looks excited, or maybe he just finds the whole situation funny.
"If anyone's up for the competition it's you" he says, and I'm not sure if that's a compliment or a dig but I nod in agreement.
He takes another sip of his tea, collected and relaxed. I can't help but notice how at ease he is when he's in his own surroundings. I'm so used to seeing him sitting at a desk surrounded by paperwork, or combing through file after file in the make-shift office in a small-town police station, usually flustered or anxious, or antagonizing me whenever he wasn’t. This was a different Spencer. Completely in control, at ease.
"Alright, shall we get started then, we can't really afford to waste any time can we?" he was actually sort of right, so I nodded. It was only now occurring to me that I'd have to share parts of my personal life with him if I wanted this plan to work. We already knew the basics about each other, I'd read his file when I started at the BAU, I'd read everyones. And I feel like it was safe to presume he'd done the same.
His eyes bore directly into mine as he leaned forward, I think he was enjoying how uncomfortable I must've looked.
"How about I ask you some rapid-fire questions and you have to answer 'em?" he asks, and it's as good of a plan as any, and I can't think of any other suggestions, so I nod.
"Okay, shoot." I say, unsure and nervous, so I brace myself. I'm just grateful that he's making my life easier rather than harder for what feels like the first time since I met him.
I really should've known better.
He leans in, "So Y/N, first question, when did you lose your virginity?"
I almost choke on the mouthful of tea I just took, that can't be what he just asked, and he looks like he's savoring my shocked expression.
"I uh, I don't think you need to know that?" is all I can get out.
"Really? You think that's something your boyfriend wouldn't know about you?" he's right, but I didn't want to admit it outright.
"I feel like I sort of already hinted. It was that same guy David, I was 18, he was 19. We had sex on the couch while my parents went out one evening. I kept my bra on the whole time, he came, I didn't. It was all very standard stuff." I wasn't sure what compelled me to add that last part. I think I was giving in to the open honestly thing. "So what about you Doc?" I challenged.
He didn't seem embarrassed, or even shy. "I must've bloomed little later than you" he admits with a soft chuckle, "Vivian Stewart, I was 21, she was too. It was the last semester of my last PhD and I figured I must be missing out on something. And I sure was" he smirks to himself. "I came, she did too, 3 times. I did a lot of research ahead of time" he mirrored my story and I rolled my eyes. It was hard not to feel a little impressed but I tried with everything I had to stifle it so he couldn't tell. I wish it didn't make me feel something but it did. I gulp down the mouthful of tea that's been sitting in my throat.
I have to shake myself back to reality. I can't give him the satisfaction of throwing me. "My turn." I command, "When was your last relationship Dr. Reid?" I ask, "I mean like, serious one, not like hook-up" I clarify before he can ask. He thinks on it for a moment.
"I'm not sure what you classify as fully serious, but I guess it was this girl, Rebecca, we dated for a while when I first joined the BAU but it didn't work out. What about you?" he flips it back.
"So that was what, like 6-ish years ago?" I ask, he just nods.
"Mine was like 3 years ago now I think. I met this guy Nathan on my first week of college, we dated for like 4 years. He moved here for me when I got accepted by the BAU." I had to stop myself from delving into the detail. It was a long time ago now but it still hurt. "Long story short, the hours were demanding and they got in the way more than I would've liked. We ended up splitting a couple months after I got the job." I tried to play it off like it wasn't one of the more devastating things to happen in my life. But something told me he’d registered that, so he didn't push.
His energy picks up and he looks at me with a grin, but there's something a little sinister behind it. "I've got a more fun question for you." he leans in closer to me, "Y/N, when was the last time you got laid?" I just looked at him in shock. 
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me, I can go first if you really need me to?" his voice didn't waver,
"Fuck you Reid, I know when it was!" I snapped back at him. I did have to think back a little farther than I'd like to pull up the memory.
"Met this guy in a bar when I was out with Pen one night, we went back to his place and hooked up." I say as deadpan as I can make it.
"Well that's not very exciting is it?" he jokes, "Did you at least cum that time?" I know he's just trying to rile me up, but I answer anyway.
"As a matter of fact I did" I earn back a little of my confidence.
"I'm so happy for you, but you did manage to avoid my initial question" fuck "when was this exciting night of yours Y/N?" he probes, like I really, really wished he wouldn't. I could lie, but I'm sure he'd be able to tell. I cringe before I can say it.
"About 8 months ago" I mutter, just low enough for him to hear.
"Sorry, did you just say 8 months ago?" He nearly shouts in disbelief, he seems to find it funny.
"Hey fuck you Spencer!" I go on the defensive, "When was the last time you even got laid?"
"Like two and half weeks ago" he says, confident, and still laughing, "Wait wait, when was the last time you got yourself off? I know you're not waiting 8 months!" he giggles and I think I could kill him. I know I kept giving him outs but was it too late for me to just get up and leave?
"I'm not doing this with you if you're just gonna make fun of me Reid, I get enough of that at work" I get out, my voice is serious but I'm trying to hide how awkward all of this is making me feel, and I don't know that I'm doing a very good job.
I can tell that's gotten to him, he relaxes and eases up on the giggling. "Look okay wait Y/N. I'll stop, I'm not actually trying to make fun of you. I was being serious, I think stuff like this is important if we're gonna have to be comfortable around each other enough to seem like a real couple. Plus, it'll just help break the ice?" he shrugs. "But you don't have to answer if you don't want to."
I soften, because I agree, even thought I hate that he's right. "Fine" I collect my thoughts, "2 nights ago I'm pretty sure." I regret it almost instantly, but breaking the ice is supposed to feel awkward.
"Same here actually," he chuckles, "what'd you do?" I'm so startled by the question I almost forget how to answer.
"I, uh, my, my vibrator? I just felt like uh, I watched some..." I still can't force out a whole sentence. It's not like I was always awkward about sex or anything, I could talk to Garcia, or honestly probably any of the other team members about it. But with Spencer it didn't feel as comfortable. He still sat calmly, smiling just a little.
"Same here, 2 nights back, but with my hands I guess. I wonder if we were doing it at the same time?" he mutters the last part gently and my head goes a bit fuzzy. My eyes drift away from his face and settle on his hands, the mug he's holding looks so tiny with his fingers wrapped around it, I wondered how they'd look wrapped around my-
"Okay I think that's enough for one night, don't you think?" I jump up off the sofa and turn, mostly so that he doesn't catch the blush thats creeping from my neck up to my cheeks. And because I don't know what I'll say, or regret saying, if this conversations continues on its current trajectory.
"Sure," he says, standing up next to me, and I want to move further away instantly, "you're probably right, and it's getting a little late now anyway" he glances at his watch. Ushering me back towards his front door and opening it up. Before I can walk out he lightly touches my shoulder to turn me back to face him, and I wonder if he can feel the heat radiating from every part of me.
"So are you free next Friday after work?" he asks, and I'm so flustered I almost forget why, I just nod. "Perfect, how about we come here again and we can dive into preparing? You could also make a start on getting these onto a hard drive?" he gestures to the antique looking hardbacks adorning the shelves.
'Sounds great!" I perk up, feigning enthusiasm, "See you then!"
"Well, see you Monday morning actually Y/N" he smirks as I walk out the door. Fuck, he was right.
I really hadn't thought this through.
——
The weekend was a bit of a blur. I decided to try and put some useful information into a document for Spencer. It felt strange to try and condense my life into as few pages as possible. I knew Reid had an eidetic memory, and nothing would necessarily overwhelm him. But I also knew that he was someone that the team relied on to fill in a lot of the gaps in the rest of the our knowledge. So I felt bad about dumping a load of information on him, especially considering it was a favor he was doing for me.
I'd complied the majority of my life into a 15 page document and printed it out. Hopefully that would address most of what my family could guerrilla attack him with. There was also something unsettling about the imbalance. I was going to give him so many of the intricate details of my life in a little file, whereas all I really knew about Spencer was what I'd taken it upon myself to learn about him throughout the past few years.
I'd read all of his work while I was in college, given how he was the gold standard of getting into the BAU at a young age, I wanted to know who this guy was. I think I'd pictured something different. And I couldn't deny there was something enticing about finally getting to know him after all of these years of working together. Maybe this could actually be fun, or interesting at least.
----
I arrived early on Monday morning. I thought I was first into the office as usual but Garcia was sitting in my desk chair waiting for me. The second she saw me walk in she tensed, she must've known we were the only people in this early.
"What happened! You've been avoiding me all weekend?" she asked, and she was right. I'd drafted enough texts to her, trying to explain what the plan was, mostly without wanting to admit that she was right. Maybe I was stubborn.
"Alright okay, I drove Reid home." I admitted, dropping my bag by my desk. She rolls her eyes at me, dramatic as always.
"Well I knew that already Y/N damn! What happened next?"
"Fine, we went into his apartment and talked for a while. Trying to sort out the details, get a handle on things I guess?" I said, unsure of how much I should actually give away about our conversation.
"What things!?" She shouts, standing up from my desk,
"I don't know Pen, like logistics and stuff, I still haven't decided how I feel about that little stunt you pulled on Friday night!" I let my frustration get the better of me, and maybe that's why I haven't talked to her. It could also be because I know she's able to read me like a book and I'm not even sure how I feel about this whole situation.
"I call bullshit." She counters, "I know you were relived as hell when I sorted that whole thing out. You would've had anxiety tummy all weekend if I hadn't called Spencer!" I just go silent, she was right. I'd gotten so caught up in the whole, 'how to have a fake boyfriend' that I'd almost forgotten about how stressed I was about Spencer hearing my call in the first place.
"Okay, shit" I sigh. "Maybe you were right Pen. We're actually meeting up again this Friday after work to make a plan for the next while, so I guess that's progress?" I shrug, trying to play it off like this whole situation doesn't make my stomach flip.
"Ohhhhh! So like a date?" She probes, her enthusiasm rising drastically.
"Oh my God Pen no! Like an appointment at best" I diffuse the situation
"Ugh that's no fun" she says, not even trying to disguise her disappointment.
As if on cue Dr. Reid walks through the double doors into the bullpen. Both Garcia and I wave, overall awkwardly, but making an attempt pretend like things were completely normal and like nothing had changed since the last time we were all in the office together.
Penelope heads to her office as the bullpen starts to fill up quickly. Less than an hour later though Garcia's back at my desk and there's a new case that needs the teams attention in Boston. I follow her into the conference room and wait for the rest of the team to join. Spencer follows a moment later with 2 cups of coffee in his hands. I can see my mug in his hand and my automatic response is that he's messing with me. But he places my mug in front of me in the circular table before taking the seat next to me, listening to Garcia's briefing. I don't know if he's ever sat next to me in this conference room, at least not by choice.
I barely had any time to finish my coffee before I have to say goodbye to Garcia and hop on the jet to Boston.
----
The case was grueling. More so than usual. It was wrapped up late on Thursday night and the team decided to fly back home first thing on Friday morning. I was exhausted. Even if there was enough time to get sleep each night it wasn't like I got any. Whenever a case got on top of me like this it made it hard to rest, or get it off my mind at all until it was wrapped up. So even though it was over, that didn't mean I wasn't exhausted.
Hotch gave the team the rest of the day off, given that we have until submit our paperwork by Monday. I wasn't sure if Spencer's invitation from the following week still stood. I didn't want to ask, partly because I was so tired, but also because I was scared. I wasn't about to show up at his house in an effort to have a heart to heart, or hand him a condensed version of my life story on a manilla envelope if he was as drained as I was.
Standing by my desk I packed up everything I'd need to get my paperwork done over the weekend, I was just about finished when Spencer snuck up behind me, perching himself on the edge of my desk. "So, you almost ready to go?" he asks, like it's the most obvious question in the world. I couldn't really hide my surprise.
"Oh yeah. That's fine, I mean, if you're still cool with that?" I ask, and I hate how flustered I sound, like he makes me nervous.
"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" He chuckles, standing up straight.
"Cool, gimme a sec and I'll be good to go."
I pack up the rest of my stuff quickly and we make our way out. There's something that feels a little eerie about the two of us being in an elevator together alone again. It was a different kind of awkward to how it felt a week before hand. It almost felt like a kind of tension rather than a hatred or a rivalry. Either way we rode down in silence.
Once we got to the basement Spencer walks out of the elevator and walks straight to my car without having to ask. I unlock it and he hops into the passenger seat. Like this is a natural interaction. Something we do all the time. And I don't hate it as much as I thought I would.
"So," he says, buckling up his seat belt and breaking the silence, "do you know how to get to my place from here or do you need directions again?"
"Well I've got to turn on the engine first" I tease, hoping he picks up on the reference to our last car ride, he chuckles like he does.
"Are you hungry?" he asks
"Starving."
The delivery guy get's to Spencer's apartment at almost the same time we do.
---
Once the food's been demolished the two of us finally sit on his sofa, the same sides as the week before. "So, shall we get back into this?" He asks, sitting forward slightly to pull a notebook out of his satchel on the floor. It's small and lavender, and it's got a pen clipped into the spine. He cracks it open and flips to a specific page.
"Sorry, what's that?" I ask, pointing to the book, he looks confused,
"They're my notes?" he says, like it should be obvious
"Your notes?" I ask,
"My notes on you." he smirks, again like I'm silly for even asking.
He had notes on me? He had a whole notebook on me? What was even in that thing?
"You've got notes on me?" I ask, my hands reaching out to grab it, but he retreats faster than I can catch him. "What have you got in there that's so serious?"
"Nothing." and his tone's a bit too stern and I don't really want to push it when he's being so uncharacteristically nice to me.
"I've actually got this ready for you" I pull the file out of my own bag and toss it to him. "I'm not sure exactly what you need to know but that should be the majority of it at least."
He opens it up and glances over the the pages. It takes him all of 2 minutes to get through the whole thing. It feels unsettling that he's taking in a boiled down version of my life while I'm just sitting on the opposite side of the sofa. Trying to avoid the attention I pipe up.
"Um, hey, maybe it would be a good time for you to show me where to make a start digitizing your books over here?" I stand up and make my way to the shelf. He jumps up off the sofa and walks toward me, visibly excited.
"That's actually a great idea, I thought that the theses from my degrees could be a good place to start, since I'm pretty sure they're not backed up anywhere." he guides me to a section of the book case by the window. There's a series of leather bound hardbacks, the same gold font embossed on the spines. I recognize all of them, pulling out the first one.
"This is my favorite" I say without thinking about it and he does a double take, clearly thrown.
"You've, uh, you read my work?" he asks, completely puzzled. I'm sort of proud that I've managed to make him this awkward, and I nod.
"Mmhm, back before I joined the BAU actually. Before I really knew you" I regret saying the last part, it comes out a little meaner than I really wanted it to so I back track. "Spencer, I read all of your work while I was in college, you were like the gold standard. I don't think I slept more than 2 hours a night throughout my PHD because I was just trying to get as much done as you." and his face softens at the admission. But it takes him a moment before he responds. Leaving the two of us in silence a little too long.
"I had no idea" is all he says.
"I think this one was best" I say propping up the one in my hand, "you get a bit cockier as you move on” His eyebrows shoot up in surprise, "but I'll start with all of these I guess" I grab the matching books and stack them in my arms. Walking over to his desk and setting up. Glancing at the clock it was only 7pm so I decided to just make a start.
Spencer didn't contest. Letting me just get settled at his desk, I pull out my laptop and begin work on transcribing the first volume. After a few minutes he silently places a cup of tea down beside me and goes to sit on the sofa. The time rolls in quickly after that, each time I look up at Spencer he's carefully combing through the file I'd given him. Re-reading it and making little markings in his lavender notebook. I'm not really sure what I put in there that was worth making a note on but clearly he was reading between the lines on some things. That little notebook was like a profile of me.
When he seemed like he'd finished writing he pulls out his phone, scrolling through it aimlessly like I'd never seen him do before. It made him look so normal. His eyebrows knit together as he's looking at something on his screen and he stands up. Making his way over to me at the desk and shows me what he was looking at.
"Who's this?" he asks, "This guy you're with?"
I recognize the photo instantly. It's from a few years earlier, Nathan and I on the beach, my head resting on his chest. He'd taken it while we were on vacation celebrating our anniversary. That was about a month before I got into the BAU, I had no idea that was going to be our last anniversary. I gulp down the emotions that it stirs. I'm mostly over the whole thing by now, but looking at old photos like that, photos of happier times, it can still sting.
"That's uh, the boyfriend I was telling you about last week. Nathan, we broke up not long after I joined the BAU?" he nods, but he's smart, and I kind of figure he already knew that.
"Ah alright" he takes out the hardback and jots another note down. Maybe he's trying to get a read on me.
"What are you doing?" I gesture to the phone,
"It's research, do you not think that if you and I were really dating that stalking your social media profiles would be on my agenda?" he's smug, and he's right. But I guess I just didn't expect it from him.
"Well that's not really fair now is it? I can't reciprocate, you've got no social media presence whatsoever!" he finds that funny, letting out a deep chuckle and tucking his phone away in his back pocket.
"Maybe so, but that imbalance is hardly my fault. Besides, you've read all my dissertations apparently..."
"Bastard" I joke, slamming my laptop shut and throwing a pen from his desk at him so that it lightly bounces off the top of his head.
"Hey, there's no need for violence Y/N!" he rubs the spot beneath his curls, "Maybe it's time you took a break actually?" he says, sitting himself back down on the sofa.
I was reluctant to admit it but he was right. My eyes were starting to go a little fuzzy after looking at the screen for so long. I stand up and stretch my arms out above my head, feeling my spine stretch out after sitting for so long, letting out a low groan. Spencer waves me over to the sofa and I join him.
"How about we go back to basics?" Spencer asks with a small grin, and I can't help but let out a long sigh.
"I thought I was taking a break, no more questions" he just laughs at me,
"Relax, you're not that interesting, it's just a simple question." he states, and I'm not sure if I'm supposed to find it funny or offensive
"Ugh, fine, shoot"
"Well, actually it's two questions" he corrects, "what's your favorite movie, and what's your favorite snack?"
I'm confused mostly by the fact that it actually is a simple question, I was expecting something a lot more contentious, but also because he looks eager to know the answer.
"I'm not really sure what my favorite movie is to be honest, one of them is Night of the Living Dead?"
He nods to himself, and jots it down in the notebook again, "Alright, I can make that work" he stands up off the sofa before turning back to me, "and snack?"
"Peanut butter cups I guess?" I respond and he grins ear to ear, which is a completely new sight, and I like it way more than I thought I would.
"Perfect, gimme 2 minutes!" he leaves the living room and wanders towards the kitchen.
Spencer returns a few minutes later with a DVD, a packet of peanut butter cups , and a thick knitted blanket gathered in his arms. He drapes the blanket over me and gently places the peanut butter cups on top of it before popping the DVD into the player and sitting down beside me. I'm not really sure how to process any of the situation. Am I about to watch a movie on Spencer Reid's sofa? Sitting next to Spencer Reid?
"I... I, uh, thought you were just asking for your notes?" I ask, pointing at the notebook resting in his lap. He picks it up and throws it onto the coffee table.
"Sometimes I find experience is the best teacher, don't you?" he asks before pressing play, “And besides, it should keep you quiet for a whole 96 minutes” of course.
I can only nod in agreement, I'm not really sure what I'll say if I try to speak. I get myself cosy under the warm blanket and we watch the movie in near silence.
Once the credits roll Spencer finally speaks up, "I actually went to see a screening of this last month downtown, there was this little old horror movie fest-" I cut him off without really realizing, I'm just strangely excited that we've genuinely got something in common.
"Holy shit, I was there!" I say, more enthusiastic than the situation calls for.
He laughs at my excitement, "Well, I guess we have more overlap than I thought, that should probably help with the whole charade." he stretches his arms up over his head and let's out a small, gentle yawn. I'd been enjoying myself more than I thought I would, or would ever tell Spencer, that I'd almost forgotten that we'd both been on a case for almost every waking moment of the past week. I really should feel a lot more drained than I do.
I was just after midnight when I suggested that I head back home. I offered to take some of the books home to work on throughout the weekend but Spencer insisted that I just work on them whenever I came over again. I sort of felt like I should thank him for the evening when I was on my way out the door, or give him a quick hug, no that felt wrong. In the end all I could really muster was a lousy, "goodnight" and a meek wave on my way out the door before I drove home. And couldn't get to sleep.
— —
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medicallyinevitable · 4 years
Text
Medically Inevitable 
Chapter 14:- Pitiful Pining
Characters:- Ethan Ramsey, Arielle Valentine, Sienna Trinh, Ethan Ramsey, Harper Emery, & Danny Cardinal 
Pairing:- Ethan Ramsey x Arielle Valentine (F!OC)
Warnings:- Light angst & minor language 
Word Count:- 2000+ words 
And a special thank you to @akshara16 for pre-reading this chapter💞
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Arielle’s PoV:-
You’re reading your 18th, well actually what seems like the 100th text book when someone knocks on your bedroom door. You answer with a more irritated tone then you meant.
"Hey, you okay?" The door opens to reveal Sienna with two mugs in her hands.
"Yeah...”, you try to smile but even you know it doesn't quite reach your eyes. 
"You don't seem okay though," Sienna says as she comes inside and hands you a mug. You look inside the mug to see what's in it. "I made us some hot chocolate." 
You smile, accepting your cup with a genuine thank you as you move, making space for Sienna to sit. 
"So what is it?" Sienna asks sitting beside you. 
You shake your head, just thinking about the case makes your head spin. "Just a patient’s case. I’ve been running test after test but every result was negative.", you sigh, "and the patient happens to be a major asshole to say the least.", You smile sadly. 
"Is it the P. I. T. A?" She asks. 
"P. I. T. A?" 
"Pain in the ass," she laughs, so do I. 
"Oh yeah… Danny mentioned that earlier. That name fits him perfectly!" I respond laughing. 
"So what do you think he has?"
"I don't know anymore," you sigh again, "I ran almost as many tests as possible." 
"I'm not any expert but maybe if the two of us try to find it, it'll be easier?" 
You look at her a bit surprised, "You'll spend your free time diagnosing my patient?" 
She smiles at me, "Of course. That's what friends are for right? To help you." 
You look at her with a grateful smile. "Thank you." 
"You can thank me with strawberry glazed doughnuts once we're finished with this.”, she replies with a silly wink.
"Deal." 
You spent the next thirty minutes discussing the symptoms as you catch her up with the diseases you've managed to ruled out. 
In between, you notice Sienna acting a bit weird. But whenever you try to bring it up, she deflects your question so you decide not to press further. 
Another half an hour goes by with Sienna’s weird antics and you decide you’ve had enough. You close your book and turn towards Sienna. She tries to act like she doesn’t notice you looking at her but eventually she looks up.
"What is it, Sienna? I can tell you want to ask me something but you’re not.”, you say.
"Uh-what?" she asks nervously, her eyes darting around everywhere but you.
"I don't know what you’re talking about." 
"Don't lie, Si!," you narrow your eyes. 
But she doesn’t budge. You keep asking her until she finally accepts.
“Come on Si, no secrets between us right?”
"Okay fine!... you’re hiding something, Ari,", shesays catching you off guard. 
"I-Me? I'm not hiding anything," you try to laugh it off. 
Now it's her turn to narrow her eyes. "You are! See, you’re behaving really weird."
"I'm not behaving weird," you oppose. 
"You are. And don't you dare deny it again.”, she says in a serious tone.
"You can talk to me, you know that right?” Her voice changes to the caring and concerned tone reserved for her closest friends.
You ponder for a minute, whether or not to tell her. You’ve shared so many secrets with Sienna before, you know she's your best friend and that you trust her completely. 
Before you know it, you start blurting out everything. From how Dr. Ramsey assigned you the case, to how he wouldn’t reassign him to someone else, and then your confrontation which was probably the most idiotic thing you could have done. Then how you both shouted at each other, you completely blanking out at the fact that he was your supervisor and could pull you from the program the next second if he wished, and how that lead to triggering a panic attack, then lastly…
“I don’t know how, our faces were mere inches apart, breathing ragged, and I had absolutely no idea what I was doing-“ You throw your hands up, cutting yourself off as you jump up and pace around the room.
“I mean I could have kissed him for God’s sake! What was I even thinking?! If it weren’t for my pager I don’t know what I would’ve done…”
“Woah, calm down Arielle. You need a break.” She makes you sit down and drink a glass of water, waiting until you’ve calmed down a bit. 
“Now, tell me what else happened.”
“What?! Nothing else happened!” How Sienna knows you so well eludes you, nonetheless you try to hide it.
“Something else happened, or else you wouldn’t be spiraling this much. I know you Ari, you always have a cool head under any circumstance.”
You sigh, knowing there’s no use in hiding it. “Well I did see something…”
“Go on.”, she says urging you,
“Well it all started after the whole almost kiss thing, my brain was like scrambled eggs and my shift had already ended so I took my car and drove around until I realised I had no idea where I was, and to top that disaster off I was starving…”
———————A few hours before———————
“Ugh, I think I drove all the way to the other side of town. And I’ll have to drive all the way back to the apartment and then start research for Nigel’s treatment again. And I’m hungry because instead of eating lunch, I decided to unleash my wrath of Dr. Terminator. Ohh, can this day get any worse-“ In the midst of your little blabbering session, you spot a classy French cafe across the street. 
“Well at least a day this bad always has room for improvement, and right now I’m starving.”, you park your car and head inside.
The smell of roasted coffee and baked buttery goods hits your senses the moment you enter the cafe. The serenity is a nice change of pace compared to always busy and bustling Edenbrook, dimly lighted and decorated with beautiful vintage items.
“At least I won’t bump into anyone here that I know.”, you think as you stand in the queue.
You decide to order a vanilla frappe with drizzled salted caramel and go for a regular chocolate doughnut to satisfy your sweet tooth. After the barista brings your order, you move towards a nice secluded corner and sit down at the table.
You slowly finish your doughnut and coffee, savouring the taste as you gaze out the French style window. You’re about to dispose of your trash when a familiar sweater shirt catches your eye.
“No way…” As you hide your face with a medical journal which you randomly fished out of your purse, you peek over the top to see Dr. Ramsey sitting across…
“Is that Dr. Emery?”, your mind recalls the time when you saw them in a patient’s room, quite cozy with each other. And now they sit a few tables away from you, talking as her hand is over his. You pretend to read your journal as you watch both of the doctors get up and throw away the remains. You follow pursuit and slowly exit the cafe making sure they don’t notice. You stand at the side of your car door and watch as they both edge closer and closer, her hand now on his jaw. Their faces are barely an inch apart now, as he leans in to close the distance.
“That’s- I can’t-“ 
Not being able to look at them, you get in your car, slamming the door and speed away as fast as you possibly can, ignoring the tears that brim in your eyes.
————————end of flashback———————
”Oh Arielle…..I’m sorry.” 
“It’s alright.”, you assure her when pretty much everything going on in your life is anything but alright. She gives you a look.
“I- okay well there’s nothing I can do about it, and it’s not like anything would have happened, it was merely a stupid crush.”, you reply wondering whether you’re trying to convince Sienna or yourself. A long but comfortable silence passes, you both just sit and immerse in everything you’ve just blurted out. 
"How are things between you and Wayne?", you say desperate for a topic change.
"It's as usual I guess?" she says now as gloomy as me. "We haven't had a proper conversation in a while."
You try to comfort your best friend as you mentally curse the idiot.
"He's an idiot, Si, " you tell her. "If he can't value you, he's not worth it Si."
"He was not always this way you know... We've had happy days. But ever since I started my residency he became... distant." 
You put your hand on top of hers in a comforting manner and give her an understanding smile.
"You can always talk to me about it, Si. You know that right?"
She nods and shoots me a smile, a sad one, nonetheless a smile. That’s a slight improvement.
We talk about our messes of relationships for a bit more before Sienna decides we had enough gloom and doom and it was time to make some happy memories. 
“Okay, what did you have in mind?”, you ask.
A grin forms on her face as she tucks her knees in and speaks, "Why did the Dalmatian go to the eye doctor?" 
“Medical joke hmm?” She nods and nudges me to try to answer. After thinking for a moment, I shrug.
"Because he kept seeing spots.", she says following with a fit of laughter. The joke isn’t even that funny but even you end up laughing your heart out. That's the thing with best friends, everything becomes a thousand times better when they’re by your side.
"Oh-" Sienna tries to say recovering from her previous laughter session, "There's another one."
"What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil?" 
"Umm...What?" you ask when you fail to find an answer.
"Get dressed up, the doctor is taking us out!" We both break into another fit of laughter, laughing till tears form in the corner of your eyes.
You wipe tears from your eyes, still smiling broadly.
Your own reflection catches your eye in the mirror. Your balayage hair is now slowly falling out from the messy bun you tied up before, your eyes now have bags in addition to your dark circles and lastly you look like a zombie with your smeared makeup.
“I look like a hot mess.”
Sienna laughs. “Well I have a night shift today so I’ll look worse than you after it.
You join her in another wave of laughter until Sienna’s phone goes off from her room.
You watch her as her eyes light up and then morph into worry as she looks at herself. You give her a look.
“Oh uh… Danny said that he would give me a lift to my shift and stop by to get coffee.”, she shouts as she rushes into her room. You chuckle watching her frantically trying to make herself presentable as she grabs her bag and heads downstairs.
“Bye Si! I’ll see you later-“ She’s already run off. With a smile, you head towards your room for a bath, dinner and then a date with more textbooks.
************************************************************
Authors’ Note:- Hey everyone, Chapter 14 of Medically Inevitable is finally out! We know that the release was scheduled much much earlier but life happens unfortunately and it took us quite a long time but from now on, our regular schedule will continue again!
Anyways, let us know if you enjoyed this chapter and your predictions of what will happen next! Are Harper and Ethan really a couple? And if they are, why did Ethan almost kiss Arielle? And what’s happening with Danny and Sienna? As always, it means a lot to us if you comment and reblog and have a great day/night everyone!
Love,
    @drariellevalentine & @mysticaurathings
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spencers-dria · 4 years
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Do You Trust Me?
Someone To Stay Ch. 6
Spencer x fem reader
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Y/N POV:
*whack*
You smack your alarm as it goes off for the third time this morning. You look at the clock: 7:15AM. Was it later than you get to sleep in for work? Sure. Did you want to get up this early on your day off? Nope. Between JJ being the planner and Penelope's excitement for the weekend, they had convinced the the group that it would be best to get an early start. It was a several hour drive the to the lake, and they wanted to make the most of our time there.
You roll out of bed and look in the mirror. Sweats and a spaghetti strap tank...this will have to do. You leave your hair in the messy bun that you slept in. Half asleep, you fumble around for some socks and slip on some sandals. A horrific choice you know, but we're going for comfort here, not fashion. It'll be fine. You're not trying to impress anyone, and you'll fix yourself up once you get to the lake. You fully intend to nap part of the way there. You don't even bother to grab breakfast. Instead, you grab your bags you packed the night before and head downstairs. Spencer is probably waiting on you already.
You see him pulling the car up, right on time, as you make your way down the stairs. You slide into the passenger side, setting your bag down in the back seat. Reaching into a road trip bag in your lap, you pull out a blanket and pillow and curl up in your seat.
"Good morning sleepyhead" he chuckles. "Not a morning person, huh?"
You grin. "What gave it away?"
He hands you a paper bag and a coffee cup.
"Don't worry, it's green tea and honey" he reassures you, sensing your hesitation.
"I also got you a bagel."
"I don't know who's been giving you trade secrets but food is really the number one way to win me over." You glance over to see a slight smirk on his face. "How are you so awake? You had time to get ready, grab food, drive to my apartment, and you still seem more awake than I do."
"I'm kind of used to not getting much sleep." He shrugs this off as if it's nothing. You sense he doesn't intend on explaining any further, so you decide not to push him.
"I brought some snacks too. You're welcome to anything you'd like." You pull out a some goldfish, fruit gummies, and Capri suns.
He responds with a laugh.
"Ok you have the appetite of a ten year old."
You feel embarrassed for a moment until you see the smile he's giving you.
"It's cute though."
You find yourself blushing, not used to compliments. "Yeah I guess sometimes I just like to let loose, let my inner child out. Not everything has to be so serious all the time, ya know? What we do, both of us...it's stressful stuff. Sometimes eating whatever the heck I feel like helps with that. If that means chocolate milk and cocoa crispies cereal for dinner then so be it!"
Spencer gives you another smile before holding his hand out. "Alright, you won me over. I'll take a Capri sun."
You can't help but laugh as you watch him try to insert the straw with one hand and drive with the other. After awhile you decide to help him out.
"Here, let me see that." You fix the straw and hand him back the drink. "Goober" you laugh as you rolls your eyes at him.
"So what all are you planning on doing at the lake this weekend?" He asks.
"The question is...what am I NOT going to do?"
"Ugh." He rolls his eyes and laughs. "No fair. You're athletic, coordinated. You can actually do all the fun stuff."
You turn to face him with an incredulous look on your face, jaw dropped. "You're kidding me right? Me? Athletic? That's funny!" You laugh shaking your head. "Nahh I'd say we're on a level playing field. I'm not coordinated at all! I just like go have fun, try adventurous things. Like kayaking, I'm just mediocre but I still love doing it. The only sport I ever did was swimming."
"Ha! You were a swimmer, we're going to a lake, and you think we're on a level playing field?"
"Ok fair enough" you concede. "Will you at least try something new this weekend? Please?" You bat your big brown eyes at him, a technique that rarely failed you.
He feigns a look of annoyance, before a smile finally starts teasing at the corner of his lips. "Alright, alright." He throws his hands up in surrender. "But only if you help me with whatever it is we do. A swimmer and a nurse, you're practically our lifeguard for the weekend. Don't let me drown, ok?" He teases.
"Well since you asked so nicely." You give him a playful punch in the arm as you both laugh.
After a brief moment of silence you hear Spencer speak up. "Did you know that Michael Phelps is the most decorated Olympian of all time, winning 28 medals in total, 23 of those being gold medals? He swam in his first Olympic Games at only 15 years old, and won his first gold medal at 19. And you...already knew this didn't you?" He stops when he sees your eyebrows raised, giving him a slight smirk.
"Yeah Spencer" you smile, shaking your head at him. "I don't mind though. I like hearing all the cool stuff you know."
You spend awhile listening to Spencer talk about everything from Olympic swimming facts to CPR statistics and the origin of the different swimming strokes. A lot of it you don't know already, and you enjoy learning all of this stuff from him. After awhile, you unintentionally drift off to sleep.
He looks over and smiles, he doesn't mind. This happens to him quite often, and the fact that you encouraged him to share his knowledge gives him comfort. He reaches over and pulls the blanket over your shoulders. Hoping to drown out the sound of the highway, he puts on some classical music at a low volume.
You wake up a couple hours later as you hear the loud sound of gravel under the tires.
"Morning sunshine" he grins at you.
"Oh I'm sorry! I wasn't going to make you drive the whole way."
"It's ok, you got your rest. Better you be rested up and have fun today than stay awake just to drive."
"Thanks Spencer." You smile to yourself. He really was very sweet. Good friends are hard to come by, especially ones you can trust that will stick around. You secretly hope that Spencer doesn't plan on dropping you as a friend anytime soon.
You climb out of the car and take a look around. You've arrived at a modest log cabin, sitting right on the edge of the lake. It's surrounded by y'all trees, so thick that you can't see any buildings anywhere else, if there are any. You stand there for a moment taking it all. You lean your head back and close your eyes, enjoying the sounds and smells of nature. It felt like home. You grab your bag out of the backseat and make your way along a dirt path toward the cabin. You stick yourself hand out by your side, brushing the leaves on the trees as you walk by.
"You really are in your element here, huh?" you hear Spencer call out from behind you.
"Oh you have no idea. Just wait till I get in the water" you shout back over your shoulder.
The two of you make your way into what appears to be the common living room. The cabin appears to be completely wooden everywhere, floors, ceilings, walls, beams. There's rustic decor and lots of plaid, but it's done tastefully. It feels so cozy, and you love it.
"Y/N! You made it! We're in here!" You see Penelope's head pop out of a doorway. You enter a room to find two sets of bunk beds. Penelope and Alex have taken bottom bunks. JJ has her stuff placed on the top bunk above Alex. You set your suitcase in an empty corner and throw your pillow on the bed above Penelope. You feel her sneak up and pull you into a tight hug. "Hey bunk buddy! This weekend is going to be so fun!"
"I'm surprised Penny, the outdoors don't seem like your type of weekend."
"Oh don't worry honey! I brought a float with coasters and a tray for the lake! I'll be sipping on wine and tanning all weekend."
"Just make sure to wear sunscreen okay." You give her a nudge and a smile.
"Okay Nurse Y/L/N." She rolls her eyes and laughs.
"Don't worry! I brought enough sunscreen for everyone."
"Haha, of course you did Aunt JJ."
You look over to see her unpacking her suitcase and organizing her things in the drawers and closets. You decide to do the same, that way it will be easier to find all your things later. After you've all finished unpacking, Alex says she's going to take a quick nap. After getting ready in your swim wear and coverups, you, Penelope, and JJ wander over to the guys room to see what they're up to.
You peek in to see Spencer reading on the bunk above Hotch, who appears to be on a FaceTime call with his son, Jack. Rossi isn't in the room. He's probably already started organizing things in the kitchen. Derek looks like he's ready for the lake, already in swim trunks and rubbing on sun tan lotion.
"You need any help with that, hot rod?" Penelope jests.
"You know it mama."
At this response, Penelope runs quickly across to room and helps Derek to finish rubbing in the suntan lotion on his back. She looks to be enjoying it a little too much.
You and JJ stay leaning in the doorway, laughing.
You finally speak up. "I don't know about y'all, but I've been stuck in a car all day! So if you need me, I'll be out at the lake!"
"I'm right behind, ya." JJ turns to follow you.
At this, Spencer finally pops up from behind his book. "Oh umm, we're going outside now? What are you going to do?"
"I don't know yet Spencer, come with us and we'll figure it out."
You wait on him while he changes into some swim trunks and a t shirt. He stands in the doorway a bit awkwardly, hesitant to leave the cabin.
"Come on!" You grab his hand pulling him out onto the porch and down toward the lake, following behind JJ, Penelope, and Derek.
When you get to the waters edge, you see the group has already spotted a rope swing. Derek appears to be climbing into a position to jump from. JJ stops him, to test the integrity of the rope first.
Penelope watches as Derek effortlessly climbs up the rocks. "My monkey man" she smirks.
Once JJ seems satisfied that the rope won't break, Derek swings out over the water, doing a back flip before making a splash in the water that sprays everyone watching from the shore. A chorus of groans rings out, half from annoyance at the show off, half from not wanting to get splashed.
You remove your shoes and your coverup as you prepare to get in the water. You can tell Spencer is making a conscious effort to avert his gaze. You blush, suddenly remembering the girls' previous comments about how good you looked in the slick back two piece.
You quickly make your way up the rocks and grab onto the rope as it swings back towards you. Spencer gives you a concerned look.
"Are you sure you want to do that? You could get hurt!" He shouts up at you.
Instead of answering you give him a quick smirk. You back up and get a running start for momentum, holding onto the rope as you swing out over the water. You let the momentum push you out as far as it will take you, as you angle your arms and body to dive deep into the water, just like you used to off the starting block in swimming. As you feel your body dive down into the water, you angle back up and do a quick, few dolphin kicks, propelling yourself much further from the shore. When you finally surface, you're about 20 or so meters from the shore. You see the group staring at where you dove into the water, confused and concerned.
"Over here guys!" You shout at the group to get their attention. They look up to see you much further away than they expected.
"Hey, you weren't kidding!" Spencer laughed.
"We might have to have ourselves a little competition little miss mermaid!" You laugh at Derek's new nickname for you.
You do a few strokes to bring you back to shore as you climb out of the water. You slick your hair back out of your eyes as you wring your hair out.
"Alright Spencer! Your turn!"
You giggle as you grab his hand and drag him towards the rocks.
"Umm yeah this is definitely not a good idea. You clearly know what you're doing, but I will definitely hurt myself. Did you know that drownings are the third leading cause of unintentional deaths?"
"Stop being such a party pooper! Loosen up a bit. Now climb." You cross your arms giving him a look that lets him know you mean business.
"If you fall, your knight in shining armor, Y/N will catch you!" Derek shouts from his spot where he's swimming in the lake. JJ and Penelope are watching from a float shaped like a giant unicorn. Typical Penny.
"Shut up, Derek!" Spencer shouts back at him.
You can tell that he's actually nervous, and not just unwilling to participate, so you decide to climb up after him.
"How about we go together?" You smile at him.
"Can we do that?" He asks, clearly not believing you.
"Yeah! See how there's a plank of wood on the bottom here? There's room for both of us to stand. And then we just hold onto the rope. We'll back up to get some momentum, then right when we get to the edge, we'll hop on the rope ok. But make sure to let go before it swings back towards the rocks."
The look he's giving you says he still doesn't think this will work.
You take his hand in yours, giving it a quick squeeze. "Do you trust me?"
You see the anxiety wash away as he's overcome by comfort. "Yeah, I do actually" he smiles, squeezing your hand back.
"On three okay? One...two...three!"
Before you know it, the two of you are landing in the water. You both come up for air as he starts a splash fight with you. You're both giggling and splashing like little kids, but having the time of your life. You feel water peg you in the back of the head. You turn around to see Hotch and Rossi armed with oversized water guns, peeking out from behind the trees on the shore.
"Hey that's not fair! We're unarmed!" You shout at the two men.
"Come join our team!" Rossi yells back. You and Spencer look at each other confused. You look up to see Alex carrying four water guns out to the water toward Derek, JJ, and Penny.
You and Spencer turn to each other, each with a huge grin. "Oh it's on!" You say.
"It's so on!" he replies before you both make your way onto shore as quickly as possible. Hotch and Rossi hand you each a weapon and the war commences.
After a long fight, the team in the lake finally surrenders. Your team is the clear winner.
"Winner's get dinner first!" Rossi shouts before the four of you make a mad dash for the cabin. You grab your towel, guessing that Alex had laid it out for you, as you see the other ladies' towels laid out as well well. Rossi had the dinner on warmers, so it's all ready for you. As the four of you take your plates full of food to the dining table outside, you pass your opponents. A series of snickers and goofy faces ensues as your team teases them endlessly.
You felt so comfortable around all of them. For people with such serious jobs, they sure do know how to let loose and have fun.
A/N:
I hope everyone is still enjoying it! I know it's a slow burn but it's so cute right 🥰I plan on picking up right where we left off! Please reblog or comment if you liked this chapter! I love hearing feedback!
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bacchicly · 2 years
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Well can I just say that the fitness to work process for assessing what accommodations might be beneficial so that I can be a better employee is extremely embarrassing, not neurotypical - let alone neurodivergent - friendly and makes me feel like a terrible and worthless person? Rant...which make only some sense follows.
Which I know is not what they are trying to do...but still it seems counterproductive.
I understand that we need to highlight my deficiencies... But without simultaneously highlighting my strengths the picture seems skewed.
Especially since from everything I have read in the last few years is that ADHD is often best mitigated by working to strengths, applying generous positive feedback, and scaffolding.
Ok so in my experience that works with many (most) people... So why isn't that applied to this process? Or is it and I am just not seeing it clearly because I am afraid.
I will have to go back and read the documents my boss sent me again. But the first glance (and I really only permitted myself a skim) was like a kick in the gut.
I am now letting my emotions settle and then will return with a critical lens.
It will be easier once I remember that following this process is not just about me but about actually being a guinea pig so that me and my manager can provide helpful feedback to the program so that it can help others more effectively.
But it is not easy. The deep shame I feel for all the mistakes I have made is vicious. And it is so hard to judge if the anger I feel and criticism of what has and hasn't been done in the past at work is so hard to assess objectively.
And everyone just wants to tell me that they understand and have problems too... And honnestly I know and I am sympathetic...truly... but at some point I either have something that seriously impacts my life day to day or I don't. And it doesn't help me to know you've got a messy garage when I am trying to explain how I haven't seen my kitchen in months. It doesn't help me to have you say "well mess is fine as long as it's not dirty" when I am living in dirt and mould. I could go on and on and on... And those aren't even work things.
Yesterday they did a big talk about how we need to guage risk (i.e. take acceptable risk) and trust ourselves... Those are not my problems...I have been chided for years for being too laissez-faire and have a tendency to go a bit rogue. And of course it's a balancing act... I create the most well documented, structured processes and tools. I refine ways of working with alacrity... But then I feel like I am seen as "putting too much work in"... But what I cannot seem to convince anyone is that the effort I put in is scale-able and strategic.
I just never seem to see things the way others do... Which can be awesome and people love using me for it... But I get tired of having to prove myself over and over and over and over.
But I am sure everyone does... But this is my blog so I guess I had better put my own rants up. Lol. Ok I feel better and more centered. But this is the other thing...I can see both sides of pretty much anything and it gets exhausting. Ok onwards and upwards.
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Buster & Rio
Buster: Remember how I reckoned my parents were so checked out Buster: Well they quizzing me now Rio: 😬 So sneaky! Rio: Waiting to see if you were flying solo like Nance too, like Buster: Right? Who knew they had it in them Buster: I told them I met a girl there but my mum clearly ain't buying it Buster: Me and her are having a 🙄 competition basically Rio: Well, at least you can both enjoy that? Rio: Ahh, not good Rio: I'm having my own fun being uncharacteristically vague Rio: Lucky for me only Gracie is so interested to get 👀 suspicious and I can buy her off, like Buster: I'm over it Buster: Literally 18 now sorry fam Buster: Not like I married this mystery girl, like Buster: Just a holiday fling as far as they know Rio: Cold way to break it to me but okay 😜 Rio: Don't think that's the best way to show how mature you are, hittin' em with a YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO but Buster: Very subtle way for you to drop a hint that you're in it for that 💍 babe Buster: That's 'cause I ain't got nothing to prove Buster: They're just showing up since the world knows they let me and Nance go off and do whatever we want Rio: Shup, can rinse you well before that 😉 Rio: No amateur Rio: True facts Rio: Where was the Colin, lads? Tut tut Buster: 💔 When you end up with a girl who's exactly like your ma Buster: How many times are YOU gonna make me ask then? Buster: Rude Buster: 🏆 parents of the year Rio: I mean, definitely a joke to be made about looking outside the fam there Rio: Fool 😂 Rio: Awkward when they reckon they know what a messy year it's been and they only know the half of it Rio: IOU for your sis taking the heat big time Buster: Who you fooling, Cavante, keeping your eyes on that prize 💎 Buster: Yeah Buster: Be interesting to see if she gets the same third degree about how she spent her hol Buster: It's harder to dig when all you've got to go from is aesthetically pleasing scenery, yeah? Unlucky mum Rio: 🙄 You know, you're far more annoying when you ain't somewhere hot and stunning, like Rio: Think on, boy 😏 Buster: Shut up Buster: You know I am hot and stunning Buster: Think on how much you miss me already Rio: Sure she's up for the challenge, whether Nancy is up for the jail time is another question entirely Rio: Hmm Buster: 😂 Rio: Though that would soften the blow of our escapades so like Rio: spill that tea, gurl Buster: I hope for her sake its not a top family holiday destination Rio: Omg Rio: Stop Buster: Make me Buster: I'm so bored Rio: Init Rio: Real life's shit Buster: I refuse to call this real when you ain't with me Rio: Babe Rio: I do miss you Rio: spoilt in all the ways Buster: I miss you too Buster: How are we topping that for your birthday then, what's the plan, like? Rio: Damn, the real question Rio: I've got no clue Rio: use this slow shift as an excuse to be looking Buster: I've gotta take you somewhere hotter and more stunning, obviously Buster: Make myself scarce so you get your turn to brag Rio: 'Course Rio: though Indie will be devvo I'm keeping you off the 'gram Buster: Standard Buster: I'll manage a post or two somehow though Rio: Don't let a win get you cocky Rio: even though we totally got away with it Buster: 'Course Buster: We're that good babe Buster: I never doubted it Rio: Obviously Rio: Lucky it's me who's doing it fam Rio: I'd defs know 👀 Buster: You could've done us all a favor and foreseen what was happening with Nance though Buster: Like if you're gonna be such a know-it-all Rio: 😑 Rio: She's very secretive! Buster: Calm down Buster: I'm only playing Rio: Well I feel bad Rio: I should've noticed Buster: Come on Buster: How could you? You ain't at school with her any more Rio: But I was when all this started Buster: Yeah, but like you said, she's been keeping this secret for a long time Buster: We both know if you wanna you'll find a way Rio: Yeah Rio: Guess so Rio: I don't like it Rio: Gonna have to go full mum mode and start reading diaries around here Buster: Well she's one off your list to worry about Buster: It's unlikely she'll pull anything else like this again Buster: Lesson learned Rio: What a way to learn it though Rio: Oh God Buster: I didn't reckon anyone dreading school more than me but she's got me beat for sure Buster: I'm surprised she didn't just hide out on holiday forever like Rio: Seriously Rio: Guess no one is Chloe levels of bad Rio: face it now and it'll be nothing more than a passing joke to everyone else Buster: Exactly Buster: At least when we were away the worst Chlo and that lot could do was like my pics Buster: No point trying to hit me up when I'm that far even if you are really horny Rio: 'Less you're me and bitch keep trying, like Buster: Though I wouldn't put it past her to fly out Buster: I did for you Rio: Yeah, but I'm special 😉 Buster: She's deluded enough to think I am Rio: Shut up you are Buster: She don't know me like you do Buster: Or at all, honestly Rio: She wishes Rio: Psycho, honestly Rio: and I don't just throw the phrase around lightly, like Buster: Unfortunately they ain't limited to your exes or even the 24 Rio: You kidding? Rio: You know how many you're gonna meet in your chosen profession? Rio: Hopefully they won't try and fuck you, like Buster: Unless it's some hot widow who wants me to defend her for offing her husband, like Rio: You fancy being her next victim, alright Rio: more fool you, babe Buster: She could be innocent Buster: Don't be so cynical or jealous, babe Rio: Yeah, save it for the judge Buster: 😏 Rio: 😒 Buster: 😂 Buster: You're funny Rio: Hilarious 🖕 Buster: Yeah Buster: When can I see you again? Rio: About that Buster: What? Rio: They're getting a bit shirty at work with all the time I've been taking off Rio: so I said I'd work every day basically until xmas, busy time and all that Buster: I'll come to you then Buster: Hang out and be distracting Rio: Yeah? Buster: 'Course Buster: I'm not gonna just not see until Christmas that's ages away Rio: Good Rio: 'cos it is Rio: may as well rinse this festive period for what it's worth though Buster: If I do my homework in the corner don't take the piss though Rio: 🤞 Rio: You gotta Buster: Likewise don't be too 😍 either Buster: I know I'm sexy as but Buster: I'll have to concentrate Rio: Do my best Rio: sexy 🤓 daddy come thru Rio: 😂 Buster: You literally just promised not to take the piss Buster: 😒 Rio: Aww baby Rio: Not, honest Buster: Say that you promise then Rio: 'Course I promise Rio: Easy Rio: You're always hot to me Rio: Nothing you could do, but that ain't a challenge Buster: Good Buster: I'll resist your non-challenge since you're behaving for once Rio: 😇 Rio: Got to set an example for you Buster: But that's easy too yeah? Rio: Naturally Rio: Can't you attest to the fact I'm a good girl yet? Buster: You have your moments Buster: Any chance of you using your influence on my sister if I'm gonna be in Dublin annoying you both until Christmas Rio: I can try Rio: It's hard fighting your corner without saying things I probably shouldn't know though Buster: Oh Buster: Shit I never thought of that Rio: Yeah Rio: if I can get her to talk to you though, then you can say what I know Rio: so, I'll see, sure I can manage that at least Buster: Forget it Rio: I obviously won't Rio: busybody for life Rio: it won't seem strange, she knows it about me too, like Buster: But still Rio: I won't if you seriously don't want Buster: I don't know Rio: You don't need to rush it but like Rio: don't let it fester, won't make it any easier Buster: The longer this goes on the more unnecessarily dramatic it seems Buster: But I don't know what to do if she won't hear me out Buster: And not enough ways to properly say sorry either, like Rio: Yeah Rio: I know it feels counter-intuitive but sometimes you have to talk when the other person reckons they don't wanna hear it Rio: you can't both be stubborn on this one, and you're the one that needs her to break so you gotta go first Buster: Yeah Buster: Okay Buster: I'll chat to her at the weekend when I come see you Rio: Proud of you Buster: Shut up Rio: 😏 Rio: Try not to get too angry Rio: she's fuming enough, like Buster: Cheers for that, babe Buster: Would've never have guessed, like Rio: I'm just saying Rio: it ain't gonna work if you can't be the bigger person for a hot sec Buster: I love you Rio: I love you too Buster: Rio Rio: Buster? Buster: Thanks Buster: Seriously Rio: Don't mention it Buster: I have to Buster: Nobody else is gonna Rio: On your behalf? Rio: Shouldn't think so, know you ain't got a secretary yet Buster: Is that you volunteering your services, babe? Rio: Ha Rio: fun as that'd be, you'd never get anything done and my shorthand probably ain't all that, like Buster: What's your typing speed? Rio: You're interviewing me now? Buster: Why not Rio: Okay Rio: Think how fast that reply was is enough of an indication of my typing speed and eagerness Buster: You're hired Rio: That was easy Rio: I would've done anything to get this job, like Buster: 😂 Buster: Still plenty of potential promotions to negotiate, babe Buster: I just know how badly you want this job Rio: Good to know Rio: All about that upward mobility Rio: What's your boss like? Buster: I'm my own boss Rio: 🤤 Rio: Okay can't pretend Rio: that was hot Buster: You're hot Buster: I'm so glad I don't have to pretend about that any more Buster: To you at least Rio: Please don't Rio: Take my pay in compliments Buster: Gonna have to give you a pay rise straight away then Rio: So cute Buster: I just miss you Buster: I can't help it Rio: I miss you too Rio: Did you have a good birthday then? Buster: You know I did Rio: Good Rio: 'cos I did Rio: a lot Buster: Yeah? Rio: Yeah Rio: I kinda love you Buster: You really love me Buster: You can say it Rio: Okay Rio: I love you a lot Buster: Good Buster: And I had a really great birthday with you Rio: Get used to it Rio: Can't jet-set at Christmas sadly but still find a way to treat you Buster: Do you reckon we can for your birthday though? Buster: I don't want you to lose your job but I don't wanna not take you away Rio: I can't literally work all the time now 'til then Rio: fuck that Rio: if they're gonna be that arsey I'll just quit Rio: don't want me showing up to work with my 18s on when i've been working there over a year do you Buster: You'll easily be able to get a better job when you actually are 18 though Buster: So yeah fuck them Rio: God I hope so Rio: such an old man pub Rio: not a mood Buster: You will babe Buster: You're the only decent thing about that place Buster: Besides, if it comes down to it, you'll always be my secretary so 😏 Rio: Yeah, that's keeping the lights on 😉 Rio: I can't wait now Rio: Maybe I can convince Indie to move somewhere more decent with me Buster: Bribe her with a dog Buster: That should work Rio: A trail of dog treats out of the 24 Rio: Aww Buster: I feel like she'll never leave it'll be like when you move house but your cat don't Buster: Just keeps coming back, like Rio: As much as the mangy feline comparison gotta sting Rio: I feel it Rio: Bless her Buster: Just move in here Buster: Every problem solved Buster: As long as you go back to feed Indie Rio: When you're probably pissing off to America in a year? Rio: I don't wanna be stuck in that postcode on my own thanks Buster: Come to American then Buster: They're only slightly more annoying Rio: Yeah right Buster: I promise you Yanks ain't that bad Rio: You're funny Buster: Yeah but I also ain't lying Rio: Got that on good faith have you? Buster: 'Course Buster: Posh cunts are posh cunts wherever you go Rio: Wanna talk no class though Chlo Rio: they don't even understand th concept Buster: I wonder what uni she'll end up at Buster: I can't really quiz her for where to cross off my list Rio: Surely she ain't smart enough for wherever you go Rio: no matter who she knows Buster: I can't say I've ever peered at her papers when they've handed the grades back Buster: But you're probably right Rio: Maybe I'm just being a bitch and want her to be thick Rio: she doesn't come across smart if she is Buster: 😂 Rio: So jealous, yeah? Rio: Tragic Buster: You aren't really though, yeah? Buster: For any of it, I mean, not just me Buster: She's not that rich or posh either, honestly Rio: Nah, I mean Rio: I dunno Rio: not like I'm poor or actual scum Rio: just reckon it'd be nice to be like her and so oblivious Rio: Too much shit in this family to not have a care in the world, even if the money's good, yeah Buster: Yeah Buster: And like I've said before, I like how you are Rio: That's alright then 😏 Buster: She only thinks we look good together on paper 'cause I'm a cunt on paper Buster: Forget her Rio: Yeah Rio: 'Course Rio: she can like your shit all she wants, I was there Buster: She wants to know who you are so badly Buster: That's why she's hovering around my posts Rio: Can't act like I ain't been there Rio: nosy bitches unite but fuck off Buster: You're nothing like her though Buster: Thank Christ Rio: Don't think I could pull it off 😂 Buster: She can't either but it ain't stopping her Buster: Works on the lads well enough Rio: That ain't hard, trust me Buster: Clearly Buster: I'm trying not to think about how many lads you and her have in common at this point Rio: Won't hit her up to compare notes then Buster: You're safe I don't think you're on her radar even if you did Rio: Should I be offended Buster: Relieved is how I'd take it Buster: But take it however you like Rio: Will do Buster: Don't be mad though Rio: I ain't mad Rio: Why are we talking about her anyway Buster: That sounds like you're raging about it Rio: Just 'cos I don't wanna talk about Little Miss Chloe? Buster: Well, yeah Rio: If you've got more to say about her Rio: feel free Buster: Don't be like that Rio: I dunno what you want me to say Rio: talk about her or don't, i'm really fine Buster: Whatever Buster: Forget it and forget her Rio: Done Buster: Are you working tonight? Rio: Yeah Rio: back to reality with a dull thump Buster: Agreed Buster: I've got an essay to write so I'm gonna need as much distraction as you Rio: Won't get it from me Rio: 😇 Good girl, remember? Buster: Come on Buster: What happened to our swapped roles? Rio: Gonna have to do a lot more to convince me to distract you from your studies Rio: Shouldn't be promising all those frat boys and rich professors, like Rio: How else am I getting there, babe? Buster: Get a plane ticket and you're there, babe Buster: One look at you and they'd be convinced Rio: Yeah but you make the whole thing a bit more legitimate Buster: What you mean is, it's no fun for you teasing them if it also doesn't get to me, yeah? Rio: You reckon this is all about you? Buster: I know it is Rio: Cocky dickhead Buster: Maybe Buster: But it's still true Rio: Well Rio: What're you going to do about it Buster: Obviously you need reminding that it is all about me Buster: 'Cause you're mine Buster: And I'm keeping you Buster: But I've got an idea Rio: Yeah? Buster: Yeah Buster: I bought you something when I went shopping the other day, I reckon you can have it now it's no longer my birthday, like Rio: What Buster: No spoilers, wait until it gets to you Rio: Is it a birthday present do I have to wait that long? Buster: 'Course not Buster: I'm no amateur, babe Rio: You can't just buy me things for no reason Rio: and without warning Buster: Don't you want it? Buster: You'll like it, I promise Rio: I mean Rio: Of course I do but Rio: I've not got you anything Buster: That's not why I did it so it doesn't matter Rio: Okay Rio: no spoilers and all but can I have a clue Buster was timed out 20 hours ago Buster joined the chat 20 hours ago Buster: Your clue will be to check the post tomorrow, like Buster: I know you don't like waiting so Rio: Babe Buster: What, you think I'm gonna give you time to talk me out of it? Nah Rio: You're bad Rio: Honestly Buster: You love it Rio: You're an idiot Rio: You really miss me that much already? Buster: 'Course Buster: I miss you more the more time I get to spend with you Buster: Is that not how it's meant to work Rio: It's encouraging Rio: and a decent review so Rio: cheers Buster: You're welcome Rio: [Present arrives] Rio: I can't believe you sent that in the post Rio: to the 24, of all places Buster: What can I say? Where's the fun in not taking risks Rio: It's so Rio: perfect Rio: how'd you know? Buster: Easy Buster: I know what you like Rio: Yeah Buster: Besides, if you didn't i'd just send it to my other girlfriend, obviously Rio: Piss off Rio: Good luck getting it back, I'd sell it Buster: 😂 Buster: 'Course you would Buster: Can't take the 24 from the girl, yeah? Rio: Just saving you from bad 🍀 Rio: you can't regift Buster: Cheers for that, babe Buster: You're the best Rio: Shut up Rio: thanks Buster: 🤐 Buster: Like I said the other day, you're welcome Rio: I miss you Rio: I'm wearing it now Buster: I miss you too Buster: Yeah? How does it look? Rio: [Sends pics] Buster: I already knew what the answer would be, but I'm not sorry Rio: It's alright, I don't mind that you've got ulterior motives Buster: Good 'cause I'm not saying you have to thank me with actions as well as words but if you wanna, I'm not gonna say no Rio: Definitely keep you in mind, babe Rio: not hurt your #ranking like Buster: I'll keep you in mind too Buster: Constantly Rio joined the chat 18 hours ago Rio: I wish you were here Rio: or I was there Rio: whatever Rio: I want you Buster: Me too Buster: So tempted to skip school but shhh Rio: Shh indeed Rio: Best behaviour or your 'rents might go the whole 9 yards and ground you Buster: The only way I'm gonna agree to not being able to leave my room is if I sneak you in first Rio: You don't get to negotiate baby 😂 Buster: Please, they'd love that Rio: Probably Rio: Bunch of weirdos, swear down Buster: When I graduate from Havard or whatever they can take their share of the credit Rio: Of course Rio: I'll keep it hush about our study seshs Rio: don't worry Buster: Nah, you've gotta take your dues too Rio: Probably won't interrupt their speech with it Rio: way to break news though Buster: You not gonna make your own? Buster: Just gonna say everything you've gotta say in private instead, yeah? Rio: Obviously Rio: You'll be glad of it, trust Buster: How glad? Rio: Get you saying your hallelujahs despite your feelings on the big man Buster: Get me writing my vows Buster: I know your game, babe Rio: 😒 Rio: You dumb Buster: You love me Buster: Always have, always will Rio: Umm don't be trying to write mine for me Rio: cheek Buster: Don't be acting like that ain't what you're gonna say Buster: Just make the kiss sound like better than it was, yeah? Rio: Ha, get dragged at your own wedding, ouch Rio: You might reckon I'm predictable but I'm not that much of a bitch Buster: I could call you a lot of shit, but predictable, nah Buster: not you baby Rio: Yeah yeah Rio: being sweet now 😏 Buster: Hold up, I'll send you another gift Rio: Will snitch on you Rio: get your cards revoked for your own good 😂 Buster: No you wouldn't Rio: It does go against everything I usually stand for Rio: but I'll make an exception for you Buster: Awh babe you're gonna break all your rules for me Buster: So cute Rio: 😣 Rio: Imma break your face in a minute Buster: Are you standing on a chair right now? Buster: Be careful Rio: 😡 Rio: GRR Buster: 😂 Buster: I love you Rio: I love you too Rio: even if you are rude Buster: It ain't my fault you're small Rio: You make it sound like I've got something wrong with me! Buster: Shut up Buster: You're perfect and you know it Buster: But I'm not gonna pick you up so you can smack me Rio: Well if you're nice I have a better idea Buster: 😇 Rio: Only look like one, boy Buster: Don't lie Buster: You know how nice I can be Rio: True Rio: got the reminder now Buster: You're gonna wear it, right? Buster: Not just for me Rio: Of course Rio: It's beautiful Buster: Yeah but is everyone else gonna notice that too? Rio: You mean am I gonna get mugged? Rio: It isn't that ghetto here forreal Buster: Don't be an idiot Buster: I mean, are your fam gonna be asking endless questions how they do Rio: Might be asking why I'm dropping so much 💲💲💲 on myself but not really their business Rio: We're good Rio: Not an 💍 is it Buster: Alright Buster: Don't want you reckoning I gave it to you to give you another reason why we've gotta tell 'em Rio: Nah, I didn't think that Rio: although it is rude I've gotta take your recognition on it but Buster: Keep praying for that ring, babe Rio: Sure thing 😏 Rio: Could be playing a dangerous game giving me ideas, boy Buster: Is that supposed to worry me? Buster: I love a dangerous game Rio: Don't I know it Rio: Game on 👊 Buster: I wish we could Buster: It's so shit without you here Rio: I know Rio: Life and soul Rio: Looks like there's nothing to do but your essay 🤷 Buster: I've finished that Buster: Waiting on my reward here Rio: Aside from your A? 🤓 Buster: Obviously Rio: Lucky for you I finished your reward too Rio: Great minds, babe Rio: [Video] Buster: Fuck Buster: Well, okay then Rio: Grade me then Buster: Definitely an A for effort Rio: Yeah? Well, how can I improve the execution Rio: use your words, baby Buster: I can't Buster: Jesus Christ Rio: Works for me Rio: You're welcome 😋 Buster: How are you so hot? Rio: You must inspire it in me Buster: I'm actually speechless Buster: I want you so bad Rio: I know Rio: tell me how you want me Buster: I'd tell you to put this desk to better use but I need you so much I think we'd break it Rio: Guess you're going to have to pick me up like you wanna and slam me against the wall instead Buster: I can make that work Rio: You better Rio: I need to cum Buster: You're gonna cum for me baby Rio: I will if you keep talking Buster: [Sends own vid] Buster: Actions speak louder Rio: Fuck Rio: Yeah they do Rio: You know what it does to me when you make those noises Buster: Call me Buster: You can have them all Rio: [A phonecall later] Rio: You're the best Buster: That's my line Rio: Stop being so fucking good and you can have it back Buster: I don't want it that bad Buster: Just you Rio: I know Rio: I'm already so desperate for you so imagine how needy I'm gonna be by the weekend Buster: I know Buster: I feel it too Rio: Well, maybe I won't be such a moody cow at work now at least Rio: owed so many rounds when you're back in town, like Buster: In both senses of the word Buster: Drinks laid on the bar and you bent over it Rio: BUSTER 😲 Buster: Gotta give you some incentive to stay at work until closing time Rio: Jesus Rio: Now I'm turned on again Buster: I'd say sorry but 1. I ain't and 2. that's easy to fix Rio: I know you ain't but I've gotta get ready so Rio: maybe by the time I'm done you will be Rio: sorry you ain't here, like Buster: You reckon? Rio: You don't? Rio: Challenge accepted Buster: You're going to work not the club, yeah? Rio: How dare you doubt me Rio: Offended Buster: Calm down Buster: If you've got nothing to prove then you don't need to worry, do you? Rio: But clearly I do, babe Buster: You don't Buster: I'm just mad you're leaving Rio: I know, stupid real life getting in the way of all the great sex we wanna have Rio: not like I'll be totally unreachable Buster: But you're basically untouchable Buster: I never thought I'd be so buzzing for Christmas Hols. Not that a fortnight will be enough, like Rio: 😔 Rio: Oh Rio: I just had a good idea though Rio: to make you wait until my bday or nah Buster: Depends how good of an idea it is Buster: And how patient you can be about it Rio: It's a great idea Rio: idk why I only just thought of it Rio: fuck it, we're patient enough about everything else Rio: download this app Buster: Alright Buster: No arguments from me Rio: So, basically, you can control it from where you are Rio: almost like touching, right? Buster: Is this why you believe in God? Buster: 'Cause like not saying I'm coming around to the idea but Rio: Pretty high on my list, though best I keep that to myself on Sundays no matter how #blessed I feel Rio: ain't the spirit inside me, like Buster: 😂 Rio: I can wear them to work if you promise to be sensible Buster: I promise to treat you right, babe Rio: Not the same thing but 🤤 Buster: I'm never calling you an idiot again Buster: There's a promise for you Rio: Damn Rio: All the wins for me Buster: I love you Buster: So fucking much Rio: I love you more Buster: Is that a challenge? Rio: I mean Rio: if it motivates you, babe Buster: It'll motivate me to make the most of this app Rio: Then it definitely is Rio: yep 😏 Buster: If you think you're desperate now, you'll need a new word soon Rio: I'll do my best to think on it whilst you're fucking my brains out Buster: If you can think of anything but me I'm not going hard enough Rio: Well you're in control, daddy Rio: you know what to do Buster: Yeah I do Buster: You're gonna get fucked so good, baby Rio: Please Buster: Say it for me again Rio: Maybe I should save my begging for when I really need it Buster: 😏 full of good ideas today, like Rio: Can't even joke today Rio: you know it baby Buster: Always known it Rio: I'm gonna need that one in writing Buster: It's right there Rio: You been playing but that's the legal and binding document I'm really about Buster: I'm so proud Rio: 😊 Buster: Let's see this mindblowing work outfit then Rio: 🙄 I really need to work on expectation management Buster: No you don't Rio: [Snap] Buster: You're not wearing that Rio: I am though? Buster: Behave Buster: Trying to make me miss you before you've even gone Buster: Fuck's sake Rio: That's the whole point Rio: Silly Buster: Yeah but my point is how turned on I am whilst trying to be so 😇 Rio: Don't be good Rio: The more turned on you are the harder you'll fuck me Buster: How 😈 do you want me to be? Rio: Well Rio: I want you to cum Rio: whatever that takes Buster: If you keep talking like that it won't take much Rio: Better 😶 'til you got me closer then Rio: it's best when we do it together Buster: Yeah that's how I want it Rio: I wish you could cum inside me Buster: Me too Buster: Soon though Rio: I'm already thinking about it though Rio: amongst all the other things we're gonna do Buster: I never stop thinking about it Buster: I can't Buster: Good thing I'm smart or that essay would've been illegible Rio: 😂 accidentally outs us to your teach Rio: I know the feeling though, babe Buster: How the fuck did my sister actually get decent grades Buster: I'm impressed Buster: Don't tell her like but Rio: Yeah, I don't think that's how you wanna start the 'let's be friends' convo Rio: so I'll keep it to myself 😂 Buster: Appreciate it Rio: I still don't see it Rio: very much not the point but Buster: What? Rio: The teacher Rio: she ain't even cute Buster: What does she look like? Rio: Oh, hold up Rio: [pics from facebook] Buster: Are you joking right now or is that really her? Rio: Obviously it is Rio: If I was joking I'd pick someone ridiculously unfanciable Rio: she's just like Rio: a normal woman? Buster: What the fuck Buster: Too late for me to have a word with Nance but like Rio: Right? Rio: It makes it worse Rio: at least if everyone else thought she was fuckable Nance would get an easier time of it but nah Buster: At least if she was fuckable it'd be worth losing your mind over her Buster: Christ Buster: Her girlfriend was alright though, like I wouldn't but Rio: We'd know, babe Rio: Idk if she even liked her now or what Rio: what a mess Buster: I don't know what I pictured this teacher looking like but that wasn't it Buster: Clearly I know my sister even less than I reckoned Buster: Fucking hell Rio: You really thought she'd be hot? 😂 Rio: Boy Buster: Hotter than that Buster: I'm not saying she had to be ruin your life hot but like this crush was years long, yeah? Rio: It was obviously about what was inside, like Rio: looking back she spent more time in her classroom than necessary, just thought she wanted somewhere to hide, like Buster: I'm not having that Buster: If you wanna get inside someone then it's about the outside too Buster: I'm not fucking anyone 'cause they have a decent personality Rio: Well nah, that ain't your type is it Buster: Whose type is it? Like I bet even when her husband first hit that she was younger and hotter Rio joined the chat 5 hours ago Rio: Her husband ain't anything special either Rio: he's a teacher too, you know Buster: What? Buster: At your school? Rio: Yeah Rio: he teaches Irish Buster: Shit Rio: I know Rio: and their son is in our year, that's why everyone's losing their shit Buster: And nobody was gonna tell me none of this ever Buster: Fuck's sake Rio: Obviously Nance ain't in the mood but yeah Rio: reckoned your 'rents would've Buster: Obviously not Buster: No wonder she fucking hates me if she blames me for starting this shit storm Rio: It's fucked Rio: she knows that's a flimsy excuse but yeah Buster: Is it though? If she's gone years without putting any moves on she could've gone one more easy Buster: Until I fucked her head up Rio: You hardly made her Buster: Well I didn't stop her Rio: If she had her mind set on it you couldn't Buster: Yeah I could Rio: Well regardless Rio: happened now Buster: I can't believe my fucking parents Buster: If we weren't fucking I wouldn't be in the loop about anything Rio: They probably reckoned they were saving her further embarrassment Rio: but you're welcome for the unexpected perk? Buster: What do they think I'm gonna do? Buster: Nice to know they reckon I'm that much of a cunt Rio: Come on Rio: The jokes come easy, you wouldn't be the first or only Buster: She's my fucking sister Rio: I know Buster: Some shit's off limits Buster: They're as bad as Chlo is Buster: I'm not gonna laugh it up, like Rio: That might not be why they haven't said Rio: You know what they're like, could have easily just not occurred to them Buster: Yeah, well fuck them Rio: Bit strong Buster: How are you on their side? Rio: I'm not Rio: Just don't get mad at them based off conjuncture Buster: Act like it then Rio: Don't shoot the messenger Buster: I ain't Buster: I'm asking you to back me instead of them Buster: what the fuck Rio: I do Buster: Don't defend their bullshit then Rio: Don't have a go at me Rio: I'm just looking at all sides of it Buster: Like their side matters Buster: You're on mine Rio: Exactly Rio: so I don't want you running your mouth if you don't need to Rio: just trying to save you from more aggro Buster: Fuck off Buster: I have self control Rio: Use it then Buster: You're as bad as them Buster: What do you think I'm gonna do? Buster: I'm not about to go find them to shout the odds Rio: Alright then Rio: I'm not doing this rn Buster: What does that mean? Rio: That I'm too busy to go 'round the houses on this one with you Buster: Fuck you then Buster: If you don't wanna talk to me, don't Rio: This ain't talking Buster: Typing. Whatever Rio: That ain't what I mean Rio: You're just shouting at me, you can blow off steam on your own Buster: Bullshit Buster: I'm not mad at you Rio: Nah? Buster: Come on Buster: You're the only one on my side Buster: I'm not that much of an idiot Rio: They ain't against you Buster: Maybe not but they ain't exactly for me either Rio: Maybe not Rio: not their style Buster: I'm sorry, yeah? Rio: It's alright Buster: It's not Buster: I'm not trying to take shit out of you Rio: Shit happens Rio: I know you're stressed Buster: And you're the only thing that doesn't stress me Buster: You know that, don't you? Rio: Duh Rio: I'm a delight Buster: Actually though Buster: I wish you were here right now Rio: I know Rio: Me too Rio: You're alright, yeah? Buster: Yeah Buster: I just miss you Buster: Standard Buster: It's so easy to forget everything else when I've got you with me Rio: I feel it Rio: but fuck forgetting yeah? we're gonna start sorting shit Rio: grown up style Buster: Full of so many good ideas, Cavante Rio: Just gotta listen, babe Buster: I am, I promise Rio: I love you Buster: I love you Buster: Don't forget it, okay Rio: I ain't gonna Rio: don't worry Buster: Good Rio: Ugh guess who's here Buster: Tell me Rio: Ryan Rio: really starting to think he'd got a life Buster: He better behave himself Rio: Yeah, he's with other people so Rio: still, plenty of pubs lads but whatever Buster: Do what you've gotta do, babe Buster: I'm here Rio: I'm an expert at ignoring him by this point Buster: 'Course Buster: All that matters is that he returns the favor, like Rio: I swear he was cuter when I went out with him Rio: not cute enough to warrant this but like ick Buster: He really wasn't Rio: Well clearly his personality was fire Buster: Again I'm gonna go out on a limb and disagree Rio: 😂 why are you trying drive me to drink here Buster: 'Cause I can't drive you to distraction if he's there Buster: Cunt would think you were hot for him still Rio: Obviously Rio: girls love dedication Buster: Is that what he calls it? Rio: Best if I don't question it Buster: I still reckon its best if I knock him out Rio: Looks like someone beat you to it Rio: his face is fucked Buster: I'd ask how you know it ain't me but Buster: If I started I'm not stopping there Rio: Yeah come on babe, no quitter Buster: You've got jokes but I ain't making one Buster: Maybe it was your new bestie Rio: Who? Buster: Drew Buster: Could be an early birthday gift Rio: Oh lol Rio: Maybe Rio: drug debt Buster: Yeah exactly Buster: At least you look good Rio: How's that a good thing? Buster: It's never not when you see your ex Rio: Sudden expert 😏 Rio: so cute Buster: Shut up Buster: I've got plenty of girls I'd rather not see again Buster: More than you've got official exes Rio: You reckon Buster: You don't? Rio: I dunno Rio: do we really wanna compare numbers Buster: I'll tell you if you wanna know Buster: But it doesn't really matter Rio: Nah Rio: know you'll just get jealous Buster: You know you'll get jealous you mean Rio: I said what I said boy Buster: And you meant what you meant Buster: Which is what I said Rio: Shut up Buster: Make me, babe Rio: No, you'd enjoy it far too much Buster: You say that like it's bad thing Buster: You know you'd get yours Rio: and they say romance is dead 😜 Buster: Says you wearing a bracelet just 'cause Rio: 😏 Shh Buster: Shh me Buster: I've got a lot to say Rio: Go on then Rio: Enlighten me babe Buster: For starters, you've got me feeling like I have to prove what a romantic I am Buster: So it's about time that I mastered this app Buster: Until you feel the love Rio: Baby Rio: I was just playing Buster: If you wanna play, we'll play babe Rio: 😻 Buster: 😏 Rio: You just wanna hear me beg Buster: Yeah Rio: Fair Rio: I've just gotta keep the whole bar from hearing, like Buster: Tell yourself it's only for me Buster: I know you can do it Rio: 😊 Rio: so supportive Buster: It's just a shame I'm not there to actually hold you up Buster: I reckon you're gonna need it Buster: Hang onto the bar, baby Rio: Oh God Buster: He's not taking the credit for this Buster: It's all me Rio: Yeah it's all yours baby Buster: Good 'cause I want it Rio: I want you so bad right now Buster: I know Buster: But you can cum for me as many times as you need Rio: I got your permission? Buster: As long as you're quiet Rio: Fuck Rio: Buster, I can't Buster: Yes you can, baby Rio: I need you to tell me to Buster: Well, I need you to cum for me now Rio: Jesus Rio: Please keep doing whatever it is you're doing Buster: If you say please like you mean it Rio: Please baby Rio: fuck me harder i wanna cum for you right here Buster: Like that? Or like this? Rio: Shit Rio: 2nd one definitely 2nd one Buster: Good to know Rio: Please 😩 Rio: You're teasing me so much Buster: Is that better? Rio: I'm so close Buster: Let's go harder then Rio: I should definitely go somewhere private but also don't trust myself to walk away from this bar Buster: Stay right there, babe Rio: Okay, only because doing what you say makes me every tighter Buster: I know Buster: You love doing what you're told Rio: Only when it's you doing the telling though Buster: I'm the only one who can make you feel this good that's why Rio: It's true Buster: I love you Rio: I can't believe that just made me cum Rio: 😳 Buster: I can Buster: It's a good app babe, well done Rio: You have no idea Rio: Regulars asking if I'm alright like not just babe Buster: 😂 Buster: You've got so many more hours to survive too Buster: Good luck babe Buster: I'm only just getting started with this Rio: Please Rio: Be serious Buster: I'm so serious Rio: Babe Buster: Yeah? Rio: I love you Buster: I miss you Rio: I miss you more Buster: You'll be too tired to miss me when this shift is over Rio: Awh is that your plan? Rio: So chivalrous Buster: 'Course Rio: Will you go to sleep with me when I'm done Buster: Yeah Buster: You know that's the only way I wanna sleep if you can't be here Rio: Good Buster: How long have you actually got left? Rio: You sleepy babe? Buster: Hilarious Buster: I'm just thinking about how much I'll be able to tire you out Rio: You've got about 3 hours total left Rio: Use 'em wisely Buster: Plenty of time
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