Tumgik
#It's something about how it sounds and my brains like that's the same
puari-vol · 3 days
Text
Peer Pressure
CW: Hypnosis
I stood quietly and unobtrusively off in a corner of the ‘slumber party’ trying my best not to bother anyone. Occasionally I glanced over at my friend Kelsey who was talking animatedly with some girls and wondered why she had insisted I come along. Of course I had agreed at the time, it seemed like a good way to make friends. But now that I was here…I couldn’t bring myself to try talking to anyone. I fixed my eyes on the cup of water in my hand. This was all… fine, I was just being Kelsey's designated driver. I was being helpful, like a good friend should be. It didn’t matter if I had fun or not. 
I zoned out enough that when Kelsey tapped me on the shoulder I jumped
“Did you really just stand in the corner this whole time? Geez come on you goof its time for the movie!” 
She took my arm and dragged me toward the TV. Both couches were full so I ended up sitting cross legged on the ground in front of them. Kelsey was about to sit next to me before she was suddenly pulled away to sit with some other girls, so now I was just sitting next to two strangers. They didn't seem to mind me, but they didn't introduce themselves either.
The lights go off and the movie starts, the chatter dies down as everybody watches. It seemed like there was something wrong with the audio, there was an odd droning sound playing under the movie. But it wasn’t loud enough to be annoying and nobody else seemed to notice so I kept quiet. The movie was honestly kinda boring, I glanced around and accidentally made eye contact with someone doing the same thing. I felt myself blush and turned back to pay attention. The movie kept going and after a while I started to space out. I was so out of it that when something changed it took me a while to notice. The movie wasn’t playing anymore, or maybe…this was part of the movie? The screen just showed a pink and purple spiral spinning around and around. The droning had gotten louder. How long had the spiral been on the screen? I couldn’t remember. I looked to the girl on my right, about to ask if something was wrong with the movie. But she was just staring at the screen, focused. I noticed everyone else was doing much the same. I quickly turned back to the screen, not wanting to embarrass myself. As I watched I tried to remember what had been happening in the movie for this to make sense, the spiral and been going for at least a few minutes now, but the more I tried the more the details of the movie seemed fuzzy and distant. I stared intently at the screen, trying to find out what everyone else was looking at…
I blinked when there was suddenly someone sitting in front of me. I only noticed because she waved her hand in front of my face after she sat down. She was backlit by the spiral on the screen and she smiled at me. 
“Hey there” she said softly “First time here?”
I just nodded feeling strangely dizzy.
“Kelsy said she was bringing someone knew, is that you?”
I nodded again, she was gazing intently at me and I started to feel self conscious, I averted my eyes and saw that everyone else was still just staring at the spiral
“Well Kelsy has good taste, you’ll be lovely”
I blush, not expecting the compliment
“Um thanks” I mumble no longer able to meet her eyes. She was grinning at me now
“Are you ready?”
“Uh…for what?”
“To learn about the button that turns off your brain” 
I blinked as I tried to sort through the nonsense statement
“The what?”
She giggled and pointed off to my left 
“Just watch, you’ll get the idea”
I looked and saw she was pointing at the girls sitting on one of the couches, all of their eyes were glued to the spiral. As I watched, another girl came up behind them. Starting with the girl on the far left, she leaned down and whispered something into her ear. Then reached over and tapped her on the forehead. At once, she went limp. Head lolling forward, eyes closed. She slumped into the girl sitting next to her, who jolted as if suddenly startled awake, eyes blinking rapidly. But the girl behind the couch simply reached over and tapped her on the forehead as well. And suddenly both girls seemed to be fast asleep leaning into each other. The girl behind the couch smiled and gave them both a pat on the head before moving on to the rest of the couch
“You see? All good girls like you have a button that turns off their brain” 
I was staring open mouthed at the girls now asleep on the couch
“But…but I’m not-”
“Shhhhh”
I felt a hand on my cheek, and my head was turned to face the girl in front of me again. I was blushing like crazy now and I stammered something incoherent. The girl just smiled kindly
“Don’t worry, you won't be bothered by that kind of stuff soon”
Hand still on my cheek, she turned my head to the right, where I watched the girl sitting right next to me get tapped on the forehead. Her eyes fluttered shut, and she slumped back, mouth open and drooling.
“Isn’t she pretty?” 
She put her hand below my chin and made me nod, I hardly noticed I was just staring at the girl
“Doesn’t she look beautiful, all sleepy like that?”
She made me nod again
“Don’t you want to look like that?”
I nodded, I wasn’t sure if she made me or not
She turned my head to face her again. Her other hand was held up in front of me, her index finger pointed at me. My eyes focused on the tip of her finger
“W-wait”
“Nighty night”
She tapped me on the forehead
389 notes · View notes
xiaq · 13 hours
Note
Hello! x I’m really inspired by the way you start and complete projects and move onto the next and speak of your work and plans with such positivity and innate capability. If it’s okay to ask, I’m curious if the way of which you move in action comes naturally to you, or if you have any recommendations for how to interact with momentum and action? Thanks so much!
Hi! Thank you so very much. I actually deeply struggle with executive function/task paralysis. But when I was in grad school, my therapist gave me fantastic advice: keep the end goal in mind, but break big tasks into smaller pieces and then only focus on the next piece, and celebrate completing that piece.
Current example: I want to make a cool, intricately carved, dresser. That feels like a big task. But it can be broken into 10 steps. 1. find old dresser 2. sand 3. paint 4. glaze 5. make carving molds 6. paint carvings 7. glaze carvings 8. apply carvings 9. seal 10. new hardware
Right now, I'm only focusing on step 8. And that feels manageable and fun rather than overwhelming.
I do the same thing with my writing. I outline my books so I know the general plot and character development that needs to occur in each chapter. But I only focus on writing one chapter at a time. If I was thinking about everything I have left to write every time I sit down, I'd be paralyzed with the magnitude of work ahead. But just one chapter--where I already have solid working parameters––well, that feels like something I can accomplish in a few hours.
(Sometimes, depending on my mental health, I need to do this with simple day-to-day tasks. Like, "walk the dog" isn't a singular item. It becomes 1. Get dressed 2. put on shoes 3. put on Deacon's collar/leash 3. Walk to the park 4. walk home. But then as I mentally check each of those things off, I get a little surge of validation/pride in my accomplishment, as silly as that sounds.) (For certain projects, I'll even make myself a genuine physical chart and put stickers on it as I complete items.)
Anyway. I have no idea if that helps with other folks' approaches to momentum/action, but that's what makes my brain happy, anyway!
82 notes · View notes
Note
this ask may sound dumb but can i have the main 10 reacting to their crush with a fixation with bones? i have one of those life sized plastic skeletons and my brain always itches to study the structure of the human skeleton lmao 💀
Like, i KNOW that i’d be absolutely fascinated with the brothers and would probably ask to look at their bones or something 😭
anyways, i love your writing and i hope ya have a great day/night!
Undertale Sans - He doesn't mind. He's laying in bed, snoring, and lets you do whatever you want with his bones. He might even actually like that. You swear you heard something similar to a purr escape his throat for a moment.
Undertale Papyrus - He stays very still with his big googly eyes every time you have a sudden interest in one of his bones. He's still bewildered about what you're even doing but you seem to like it. A lot. So he guesses it's a good thing?
Underswap Sans - Um... Personal place? Please? Blue keeps trying to push you away, but somehow you never get the message and come back. He would gladly appreciate you not randomly poking his bones, it's starting to get a little weird.
Underswap Papyrus - He's always flushing when you do that, but he doesn't push you back either. Honey loves being touched and tickled and will never say no to a weird bones-touching session where he gets to be cuddled while you're looking for... Whatever you're looking for. That's fine by him!
Underfell Sans - He got really concerned the day you proudly said you were starting a plastic skeleton collection and started bringing home random naked skeletons to hand everywhere, but now that's just creepy. He's not one of your plastic skeletons, the hell do you want with his bones? He might reluctantly give you his arm if you insist a lot to see if it's enough to satisfy you, but that's all.
Underfell Papyrus - He stands really still as you're turning around him. He gives you concerned side eyes from time to time as you randomly poke his ribs, but he's not moving an inch. He said he would let you check his bones only one time, after you insisted a lot. But he's not going to make it easy for you. He growls if you look too long at the same spot.
Horrortale Sans - He doesn't mind. The only problem is that he's so happy to have attention he keeps bumping his head into yours, so you don't see his bones a lot. He's also purring like a tractor, which prevents you from focusing too much. He's accidentally impossible to study.
Horrortale Papyrus - He's very uncomfortable with that and won't hesitate to tell you he doesn't like it. Willow doesn't like when people are staring at him, or at his bones for all that matters. He's too uncomfortable with how he looks for that. Please give him some personal space.
Swapfell Sans - You think you can fool him? He watches your human movies! He knows those weird thrillers where a nice human starts doing strange things and then just straight-up kills their partner in their sleep. First, you collect bones, then study him, and then, bam! You're breaking all of his bones to do weird experiments on him or something. Stay away from him! If he catches you staring too long, he will bite you.
Swapfell Papyrus - You're so confused. Every time you check his bones, you swear some bones were not here before. Rus keeps adding fake bones to his bones just to see your face twitch in confusion. You're his favorite TV show.
Fellswap Gold Sans - He slaps your hand away every time you're trying to poke at his bones. You tried to surprise him. A lot. He's impossible to surprise, to the point you're wondering if he can see behind his head. You're so frustrated. So close yet so far...
Fellswap Gold Papyrus - He lets you check him if you let him check you. He's curious too! Well... You just didn't expect Coffee to randomly sniff you from head to toe, but, uh, that's how he wants to do it apparently.
26 notes · View notes
stabbyfoxandrew · 1 day
Note
hi! can I have some angel Neil this week?
—💖💖
WIP Wednesday (9/18) | Guardian Angel Neil AU (Part 236)
"No. I was just making sure," Andrew says, aiming for nonchalance. Neil doesn't look particularly convinced and now Andrew worries he's accidentally granted himself an angelic audience for tomorrow's session. Damn. Andrew licks his lips. Time to lie. "I am going to talk to her about the nightmare I had the other night. I wanted to be sure you wouldn't listen."
Neil's eyes widen minutely, then he nods. "Good. You should talk to her about it," he says, taking Andrew by surprise.
"I thought you didn't believe in therapy."
"I don't. But you do. And I could feel how much that dream affected you, Andrew. It feel like you needed me, it felt like I needed to wake you. But then you woke yourself up and came up here and tore your brother a new one." Neil says, making Andrew cringe internally. He really hadn't meant to go berserk that morning, but Aaron's a fucking idiot. (And no matter what Neil says, they're twins. They're the same.)
Neil moves to sit back up and stretches his arms over his head. "All I'm saying is it must've been bad."
"It was."
"So, if you can't talk to me about it you should talk to her. Maybe she's got the magic cure for recurring dreams."
"Recurring." Andrew repeats. 
“Isn’t it? I’ve felt you have nightmares before.” Neil says. Andrew isn’t sure. He's never thought about it much. He's never tried to label the horrible things his brain makes him relive when he goes night-night. But he supposes Neil could be right. Is it recurring when the places and faces and sheets are sometimes different? Does he actually need to talk to Bee about this? (Probably.)
"I used to have a recurring nightmare when I was a little kid. It was about a clown," Neil offers randomly.
"What?"
"Yeah. It would come into my bedroom and just stand there in the doorway, staring at me with a bloody knife in its hand. Sometimes it would laugh, but usually it was deathly quiet," Neil says, trying to suppress a shudder. He fails and shivers so violently Andrew can feel it. A moment later, Neil makes a face as if something's occurred to him. "Come to think of it that might've just been my father playing a prank on me."
The easy way Neil says it has Andrew choking on a badly-timed laugh. He coughs at Neil's look. "How fucked up of him."
"Oh yeah, he was real fun like that. It's not the worst thing he ever did though," Neil says with a shrug. Andrew looks at Neil for a moment, then glances down to where the hem of his jeans has rolled up, revealing a thick scar around Neil's ankle. It matches the ones Andrew's seen on his wrists. He very nearly asks about it, but forces the question off his tongue because he swore he'd never ask.
Instead he sighs and accidentally lets, "Honk honk," slip past his filter.
Neil gives him a quizzical look. "What was that? Are you a goose now?"
"No. Don't clowns honk?"
"I... My father didn't."
"Never mind then."  Andrew says, looking to the side. They're quiet for a moment, then Neil is sputtering laughter. 
"Honk honk." He says, devolving into a fit of giggles. Andrew can only watch, awe-struck and mesmerized at the sound. When Neil covers his face with his hand and starts to settle down, Andrew says it again and laughs with him until he can't breathe.
20 notes · View notes
stardustedknuckles · 2 days
Text
I don't really know if it's an adhd thing or just the condition that is being me, but I think one of the things I hate most about my brain worms is how they've convinced me I have less energy than I do.
To be clear: I do in fact have a very low amount of energy. But what I mean specifically is that sometimes I'll think ahead to the idea that I might take a class, learn a skill, do something where I make the effort to go once a week and get something out of it. And I'll even imagine that at this point in time, I only have one job! Extra time!
And it'll settle over my thoughts like a cobweb: oh right, that sounds like a lot of energy and I'm preemptively tired and discouraged thinking about it.
Except. I have this test, where if I don't want to go somewhere or do something, I'll ask myself "would I go if I could instantly teleport there?" because often it's not a matter of not wanting to do the thing, it's the transitional states in between. It's getting up, it's getting dressed, it's waiting for the train, it's walking - because those are all individual tasks for me, where for people without chronic fatigue, Adhd, or what have you, it is just all part of the same action. Executive function, you could even say.
And it's easy to tell myself I don't want to do that when I don't have to, but the fact is that it doesn't bother me except for some specifically awful days to do all of that. It's literally fine.
So why does my brain offer up so much dread and exhaustion at the prospect of doing the same boring shit I do every day in preparation for something that is ultimately way more rewarding than staring at dogs and cleaning up after them every day? Why does a sewing or a singing lesson feel so much more weighty?
You wouldn't believe the things I've talked myself out of because of this alone. Making friends who will go with me to these things is pretty helpful, but it also... Requires that you go where the people who have those interests are first. Drives me nuts.
22 notes · View notes
bloopitynoot · 2 days
Text
Reading SVSSS: Chapter 15
Tumblr media
For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!
If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.
Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
It's chapter 15! Time to figure out what happened to SQQ in the latest cliff hangar.
Today no tea- but I did have a blackberry cider that was very tasty.
I also did impulse buy a baby's-first-fountain pen to get into my little writing flow and add to the ambiance of my note taking journey. So, pls ignore the worse-than-usual writing; I am learning to write with it.
let's goooooo!
Tumblr media
Well, SQQ appears to be in a coffin? p29
fuck, i'm already smudging the ink with my new pen. The lefty curse of it all. IDK how much of this is going to be legible later. RIP
okay... but how long has he been in here? MXTX is describing everything as dusty as hell. p30 (resolved as I read further- not very long LOL)
and he has his original body! That's exciting! Who did it though?? p30
LOL SQQ has 0 chance with this "advanced level plot" p31. He is totally fucked for sure.
These 'blind corpses' sound like a walking horror show. I would be so scared omg. I don't know how far the animated series got- but if this is animated that would look cool as fuck. p32
okay! they're fueled by breath! that's really neat though! pp33-34 Scary, but cool.
I would die immediately in this situation. When the thing (blind corpses) that are already horrible and unbeatable are scared of something else -> absolutely no hope in surviving. p35
ah, it is our little snake-man. I had a suspicion this was related to him and Luo Binghe's dad. He probably took SQQ's corpse too and brought it here. p35
OMG LOL Luo Binghe's dad is awful, but also feels like a troll AND is serving dad jokes. Re: thinking back to when SQQ knocked on the coffin and he answered from inside LOOOL. p36
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Listen. Can we just take a moment to appreciate the absolute DILF that is Luo Binghe's father? I am a whole lesbian but that character art cannot objectively argued as anything else. p37
and now SQQ is going on about Tianlang-jun having BDE (not those exact words but I mean when you say he's working that coffin like it's a Paris fashion week runway and Luo binghe - the man you are obsessed with- could NEVER, it says something.). p38
That fucking power move too! SQQ: seems you've waited a while to meet me, why don't you come out of there and do so. Tianlang-jun: *bats eyes* okay but only if you hold my hand and work for it p39
SQQ has this habit of getting kidnapped "for his own good" but no one ever tells him why it's good for him XD this entire situation is so annoying. Tianlang-jun did this all so that he could get him away from the sects he wanted to destroy. p43
OMG scratch that. He also wants to use him as bait to snatch his sons body as his own. p45.
aside: I'm going to have to organize these notes later- I'm not catching the nuance in the hand written notes LOL my brain is processing faster than my hand (you will notice that the last 2 points here do not match my hand written notes because they were a hot mess).
Tumblr media
What an entrance Luo Binghe! p47
Yes SQQ! You rescue your man from his dad (RE: holding Zhuzhi lang hostage) p51
holy shit. Zhuzhi lang is WILD - he really was about to just die instead of be a hostage LOL p52 I want to know what his character motivation is. He's giving the same blind trust energy as The Core Melting Hand in MDZS. Both just so loyal to a fault/their own demise. Do we learn more? or is this it? (genuine question- don't tell me WHAT we learn, just yes/no if we learn more).
That was so smart to hit the anti-theft measures in the tomb p53
aaaaaaaand he snatched the wrong person on the escape. well, that's fantastic. p54
I am loving the traps in this mausoleum though! The face with the magma and then the various rooms. I want to know if this exists as a D&D dungeon crawl/anyone has made one, I think it would be so fun. p59
omg. I don't think that Luo Binghe realizes/knows that that was his own father and cousin. that's so terrible. Truly Luo Binghe was treated so fucking badly literally his entire life. His dad does not even give a shit. Honestly probably only had him for this situation - needing a new body. p61
:((((( Our boy, Luo Binghe is in a bad way rn. gah! so many cliff hangers. p63
MXTX Cliffhangar Lord
And now I have to wait until tomorrow to see if baby Luo Binghe makes it. I'm sure SQQ is going to do something about it but dang, he is not well.
28 notes · View notes
shirayuricky · 16 hours
Note
(oh you sound so busy 😓 and a month is so close omg may uni be take it easy with you, fighting!! i'll look foward to it then I'm sure it will be so good 🥹)
fluff but hard thoughts (???)
this one is REALLY long .. i'm sorry !!
well, it's so embarrassing and a bit weird / cringey actually but i thought about it out of sudden and can't get it off my head pls help (pleasee ignore this if u don't like it im so embarrassed so i apologize if u think it's too weird 😅
rlly ah why i thought abt it 🫠
this is abt gunwookie btw i love him smmm
for reference i wanted to add those pictures of him wearing that snorlax onesie but i don't know why i can't add images here
reader lives alone on her apartment so she's always spending her free time doing the things that makes her happy. she rlly enjoys having these self-healing times but still feels kinda lonely sometimes, that's when she ends up falling asleep cuddling her GIANT teddy bear she got on one of that big claw machines. only when she feels lonely, she tells herself. she is good on her own... but who is she lying to? she hugs that bear so tightly every single night, that's her best friend. she didn't got close to anybody at college and the routine is tough, that fluffy bear is the only one that always hear the feelings she holds deep down her heart and she feels comforted by that she even named him and takes it all around the house, when she's watching movies, cooking and baking or just being. one night she got so worked up after watching a romance movie with unexpected hot scenes that she just couldn't sleep thinking about it. suddenly she felt her body heat up while still holding tight to her bear cause she thought hugging him again would help her sleep faster even tho it didn't. instead, she started slowing grinding on it searching for some kind of relief. when she realized she was whimpering against the bear's soft cheeks and couldn't stop riding it so she started crying she felt so needy, sad and hopeless at the same time. she felt asleep bc of all the crying and her heart breaking she just wished her teddy bear could hug her back and take care of her.
deep in her sleep she felt a really soft touch, caressing her thighs, her waist and then hear face. she tought it was a dream, but when she felt a small kiss on her cheek she woke up to the sight of the prettiest guy she's ever seen and he was smiling so prettily and sweet but still he was a stranger, obviously she would scream. her high pitched scream almost broke the cute boy's heart. why was she screaming like this after telling him i love you every night. he was teary-eyed.
"WHO TF ARE YOU? HOW DID YOU GOT IN MY ROOM YOU PERV?" she was freaking out, who wouldn't though? she was so disturbed by the vision of a unknown -tall as hell- man IN HER BED wearing fcking bear pajamas. who is tryna prank her?
he tilted his head to the side in confusion and said "it's me gunwookie"
she blinked like five times before widening her eyes and again asking herself if this is a prank, how could it be, no one knows about her shameful friendship with a teddy bear, so how could he knows the name of it? he must be a stalker.
"what are your intentions? why are you... stalking me? how do you know me?"
and he looked even more confused than her
"i just wanna take care of you, i love you so much too, it was you who brought me here and I'm so thankful that you treat me so well" he smiled again
something sparked on her brain and she looked around her room searching for the giant teddy bear until she noticed he was there anymore... it can't be...?
"wait... are you my wookie bear? what am i saying? that's impossible..."
he just nodded his head and smiled again
"are you for real??" and gunwook confirmed but seconds later his smile dropped
"why were you crying earlier? i got so worried" and he pouted sadly
oh so he is really my bear, she thought
"I was feeling too sad and lonely gunwookie :( that's why"
"is there something i can do to make you better?" he asked and she just jumped on him giving the biggest hug ever, she needed that
"just stay here with me please gunwookie"
"okay i won't go anywhere" and he hugged her back
after a moment he speaked up again "I'm so sorry"
"why are you saying that, wookie?"
"did i hurt you? you were near me doing those sounds and then you started crying, i don't really understand what happened.. it sounded like you were in pain.. did i do something wrong? please explain me and i promised i will apologize properly to you and repair any mistake"
oh this is gonna be a really long night
Tumblr media Tumblr media
(oh 🍄 anon my tests for this week has ended and now i'm back to this. and i got your back! i found some pics of gunwook in a snorlax hoodie. if you're in anon, you can't share images, just links!)
so continuing on from where we left, you explained that you are not in pain, just desperate for pleasure. gunwook seems a bit clueless but when he gets what you're trying to mean, his cheeks blush in pink. he lets you take the lead, he doesn't want to hurt you. he just wanted you to feel satisfied in your sleep.
you ride his cock, bouncing up and down, as you interlocked both of your hands together with his hands. and his blush just gets more pink. he's getting flustered from the pleasure, sweet and soft moans spilling out of his lips.
after the both of you cummed, you tidied yourself up and gave gunwook a simple aftercare, solely made of cuddles. "sorry for that, i was just...needy." you apologised. "y/n, that's alright, at least you're...happy now." gunwook responded, wrapping his arms around you.
18 notes · View notes
bmpmp3 · 2 months
Text
the really beautiful landscape/skyscape animation in makoto shinkai's works tends to be the big thing i see focused on and that is understandable and deserved like the weather and lighting effects are unREAL but i do think we should also appreciate how absolute insane the plotlines of his original movies get. at least two movies with in universe catastrophes with major ecological implications. the guns and explosions. theres that one movie i havent seen yet with the guy who turns into a chair (?)
#just watched weathering with you. it was really good. REALLY good#i remember when it came out people were saying it was better than your name. but now it seems the general opinion switched?#your name changed my brain chemistry and outlook on life. i think weathering with you may do the same#so to me i think they're like on pare with eachother. i dont know if i can choose which is my fav now LOL#they are sisters to me..... sisters to me...... quick review below watch out for spoilers#i dont think i'll be too detailed but i do also just recommend watching it its a great movie#I DID like the soundtrack in your name a BIT better like the score had a few more hooks for me and i loved all the insert songs#while in wwy i liked the last three inserts but the first couple didnt really grab me. but its all radwimps so its all good LOL#the side characters in wwy were so good tho like i loved all the cast so much#of course i adored the main characters of your name and wwy both. but the side cast in wwy ruled i think i'll remember them for a long time#the taki jumpscare was also great. my boy was here. my boy was here. just for a minute#i also adored how unhinged the main character of wwy was. hodaka was like. a bit unwell? HJKDJHKFD i thought it was great#weird and quiet but desperately a bit violent in a way that i think was very relatable#i also loved the like. message? sorry that sounds sappy but i liked that like the story was kind of like#coming to hina who is working so hard and forced by herself and circumstance to grow up so early and sacrifice so much#and grabbing her by the shoulders and telling her YOU CAN LIVE!!! YOU CAN HAVE FUN!!! ITS OKAY!!!!!!#i think it was so sweet and such a strong sentiment. wonderful movie. also there was guns and i was so scared#i think that might actually by why i love how high stakes the plots get in these movies like the character design and personalities are so#real and down to earth so when you go to the beautiful planetary skyscapes and also the exploding vehicals you get like so in awe or scared#it does also make me laugh tho now thinking about the your name nendos. you can just barely make nendos of them. you cannot make a nendo of#hodaka. hina maybe. but not hodaka. he is. some guy. the most some guy. visually at least. mentally hes got. something happening <3#loved him so much. hes normal. hes normal. oh they did make some popup parades thats cute#altho it is a bit funny looking. that is just like two normal teenagers JHKLDSHKFDLSafdjksd#anyway next up i'll probably watch the chair movie. ive heard a couple songs from it and they were pretty good so im excited#it also makes me realize i need to watch more of his back catalogue other than 5cm.... he has way more movies than i remembered#i hope someday he gets to make the yuri movie he wanted to. it would be unreal. huge beautiful skys. ecological disasters. girls kissing#oh i hope he gets to do it one day..... one day.....#EDIT: WAIT THEY DID MAKE A NENDO OF HODAKA AND HINA.... LIKE FULL NENDOS NOT EVEN PETITE.....#HODAKA REALLY DOES JUST LOOK LIKE SOME DUDE.... AWESOME
2 notes · View notes
monster-noises · 6 months
Text
I am experiencing... frustration.
#monster noises#why must the ideas you can see the clearest in your head be the hardest to capture?#I'm trying to make a new phone lock screen#(currently I'm using the drawing of laz and heis on the motorcycle and while I looove that image it's been there for a few years now)#and I have a very Precise Idea of what I want it to be#in the same style as I did my FaHI playlist cover#but I can't seem to get the thumbnail looking in anyway Correct#and it's really..... frustrating........... and disheartening#then when I try and like actually figure out what I need to Fix it's like my brain blanks out and I"m stumbling around completely clueless#and then I just start uselessly spiraling and just AUGH#why can't I have the kind of brain that hits a barrier and proceeds to problem-solve?#why do I have to have a brain that hits a barrier and just.. rolls over in defeat#not even a tantrum or a breakdown#just#0 resistance laying down and giving up#it's stupid and I'm mad about it but I still don't know what to do about it at all#I wish I could explain it in a way that would allow someone to maybe be able to help me actually#cause it seems every time I try there's always some fundamental misunderstanding about Which Step In The Process Is Challenging#like that one time I tried asking about it on twitter#asking if anyone had resources for How to be better at learning from and interpreting references/doing studies#or just learning for art purposes in general (in a way that won't cause me to Break Down)#and people linked a bunch of how-to's on how to Draw from Reference#and I know those /Sound/ like the same thing but they arrrrren't#and I know those people's heart's were in a good place but I know How to use a reference#I know How to do a life drawing or a study#I get it on a practical level#but there is something fundamental to the process of interpreting and understanding what exactly I'm doing that I just...#Don't Have#and That's really really Really hard to explain#it's like how I'm actually good at math I just can't do word problems because I can't glean what is required of me from a word problem.
2 notes · View notes
corbinite · 6 months
Video
youtube
2 notes · View notes
pebblezone · 1 year
Text
this Tylenol ain’t shit w
Tumblr media
#talkingcore#emotions. man.#there’s so much music that I just haven’t listened to in a bit and it’s making me feel things it’s not even like sad things I’m like damn#how long has it been since I’ve listened to beautiful stranger by Madonna as featured in Austin powers international man of mystery#but also something in my brain feels like it needs to cry like I don’t feel like I physically can but something needs to be released#so do I go pet sounds? smile? falsettos? I feel like I need to be in a sleeping bag and Contemplate#fun fact! Kendra Morris has an absolutely stunning cover of don’t talk (put your head on my shoulders)#I’m pretty neutral on beach boys covers tbh I’m never crazy about them since like they really never measure up#how many mid covers of god only knows can I take? not many. but like she & him have their little Brian Wilson tribute I like that.#the covers are a lot better when they don’t try to perfectly replicate whatever the fuck Brian Wilson was doing they aren’t him#brain wants to go melancholy mode but I’ve no clue over what. girl just tell me what I’m supposed to be sad over I’ll commit to the bit#need to keep listening to new stuff but also need old stuff Maybe that’s it maybe I just need old stuff again? like routine?? shit idk#also like at 5 am I woke up and remembered how in choir people kept comparing me to the director they had the year before me#and the thing is she had the same name as someone else in choir that was student teaching my first semester so I kept thinking they were#referring to her Id be in my choir fit my silly suit my proud butch uniform and they’d be like oh this is so ‘insert name’!#and it kept throwing me off because the student teacher was like. not like me at all so I was like fuck#what kind of girl core energies am I accidentally emitting this is Bad. so anyway 5 am I’m like fuck it I need to research this person#I search. find her. she’s butch. I’m blessed. they weren’t lying like man we do such a good job at being generic! yay!#butch And in choir! love to see it! keep thinking how I am destined to be like in my 40s doing mundane tasks#I’m gonna be soooooo good at watering plants and putting salt on the sidewalk before it snows and cleaning drains#need to be a dad mom so fucking bad you don’t get it I need to drive carpool and take off work for dentist trips and watch hgtv#AHHHH i think that got rid of some of the sad lfg💥💥💥💥this must be super long god damn sorry
10 notes · View notes
picorimori · 11 months
Text
everyday it becomes more glaringly obvious I should have majored in something more writing specific, but I also cannot write.
2 notes · View notes
raccoon-queer · 2 years
Text
the bpd urge to rant about all of your problems vs. the avpd urge to never tell anyone anything ever
9 notes · View notes
leatherbookmark · 1 year
Text
hopping around different blogs is fun.
a post on blog 1: i find it a little weird that -- don't get me wrong, the barbie movie looks great with all the doll-like details, i bet the actors had great fun and i'd like to see it myself, but -- people are getting excited about marketing of this movie. they're acting as though mattel's 3985* deals with 837* different companies are something new, exciting and creative instead of... 3985 deals with 837 companies spanning many different areas! this movie is a commercial for a doll! isn't this kinda weird?
*numbers made up
a post on blog 2: i don't think any sane adult doesn't realize that this is a toy commercial! it's rather obvious.
a post on blog 3: boo hoo 'the barbie movie is capitalist propaganda' i don't give a SHIT marx won't fuck you. did you do this for transformers too? do you think only stupid girls who like pink need the reminder?
like, oooooh! things are happening!
#shrimp thoughts#earlier today i got into a bit of an essay reading spree (as much as my brain allowed me lol)#and it got me thinking about like... associating oneself with products/aesthetics/companies as a way of self-creation#this is me. i love [fashion brand] you won't catch me without my k*nken and here is my room in which you can see posters of [movies]#it's very... human to get excited about things and feel it more the more others get excited because. community building#at the same time i've noticed it myself that it's so much easier to label yourself a [thing] girl than to like... Look Into Yourself#who am i? what defines me? these questions are difficult because how do i know that? with what means do i obtain this knowledge?#should i create myself as i want or should i observe myself with the eyes of others instead? ...let me just say i like plants and overalls#and i feel like when someone says something you perceive as a critique of the identity slash community you associate yourself with#it's... hurtful? but at the same time. hm. i don't know actually#like chances are these posts are talking about completely different things and not vaguing each other or even similar posts#maybe posts that blog 3 vagues really were obnoxiously condescending! who knows! that being said DESPITE being a small-brained#shrimp who would honestly love to win soooo many moneys and just do whatever i want all day instead of being an Independant and Competent#Expert In My Field (this sounds scary and stressing). i still would like to avoid falling into the 'just let me ENJOY things and don't try#to make me hate femininity because it's not working! pink and shopping can be empowering' hole.#idk!! i listen to k/pop and am part magpie. i can't quite pose myself as like anti-capitalist intellectual#but i do want to achieve at least a small brain! someday!! and boy do i hope my brain energy days don't end before the books arrive;;#2am thoughts. wonder if my mother goes to sleep earlier than at 4am today because its getting annoying
6 notes · View notes
hecksupremechips · 1 year
Text
Girl help I keep thinking about freaking persona 4
#i have banned myself from engaging with any persona 4 related content (except for memes my sister sends me)#because yeah its genuinely deeply upsetting for me and i always feel like absolute shit#but aghhh for some reason my brain has been fixated on it this week thinking about all the offensive garbage it is#and i keep thinking of all the evidence i can gather definitively proving that the writing is sooooo homophobic/transphobic#which is a very easy thing to gather up and prove since its all over the damn place lol#but like im just so fixated on how awful the game is and how the fans are even worse and i have this urge to argue forever#something im sure a lot of yall can relate to#cuz god it hurts to be screaming at people that theyre hurting you and for them to just say no to you as if its up for debate#if this sounds dramatic cuz its Juat A Game liiiike no its not Just A Game this is about#my daily life requires me to argue my existence constantly and its the same for every other damn marginalized person out there#and idk if youre still gonna either ignore or deny that persona 4 isnt batshit insanely offensive then youre stupid#i dont have the patience to argue shit like this anymore because theres no way someone with a brain can deny shit like that#and quite frankly even well intentioned queer fans who try to make headcanons that either say fuck you to the game#or hcs that do nothing at all to challenge the bigotry in p4 are kinda annoying to me#cuz it hurts too much to play along like yeah id LOVE to just slap a rainbow on kanji and a trans guy badge on naoto#and call it a day and enjoy the game outside of it all but thats kinda impossible#when these two characters entire existence revolves around the bigotry and its done in a way that hurts like hell to see#its too real for me to enjoy even if i make positive ‘fuck you atlus’ fan art#yeah ughhhh whatever its just annoying cuz I’ve been doing a good job at blocking this game away from my life#cuz it brought nothing but anger to me but its just been something thats been stuck on me lately#and im really not sure what triggered this or why its been lingering so long like please stoppp#its really embarrassing to be having bad mental illness over a shitty bibleo game 🙄
5 notes · View notes
bloodwards · 2 years
Text
.
#sometimes I think to myself. what a heartless bitch I am.#my ex basically admitted that he's v depressed about our breakup and me? I feel fine#but then I remember how many times I have bitched and moaned about one thing or other related to the breakup or ex himself#on tumblr dot com of all places#and then I think you know what maybe I'm not all that fine actually dsjkfdslkfl#almost 4 years!!!!! 4 years down the drain#I know that's not how it works but that's how it feels#all the plans all the shit I got from my parents all the enduring and the suffering#for nothing??#and like not to actually sound like a heartless bitch#but I kinda wish I could back to 4 years ago and tell myself to stand my ground and NOT get in a relationship with him#and I knew I KNEW from the get go that the relationship was not viable#I found diary entries from years ago bemoaning the exact same things over and over again#I was wrecking my brain how to move to fucking canada when I had zero resources to do so!!#I was somehow supposed to make the impossible happen all by my lonesome!!#I was begging BEGGING him to take on SOMETHING#take *something* off my shoulders#but nooo I was supposed to somehow get money for a college in canada bc my bachelors wouldn't work there apparently#get into said college and then work for a year to get a card or whatever#and he wanted to do 50/50 on the rent and expenses!!!!!!!!#like bitch this is all for YOU#I wouldn't move across the ocean for shits and giggles we're talking about leaving everything behind for YOU#and he was like 'well your parents should be helping you' BITCH????#my parents were so SO pissed about the whole situation#not only were they not helping at all whatsoever they were actively hindering my progress!!!!!!! my mom literally admitted to it#in the middle of a heated fight it just slipped out and I REMEMBER it even though she denies ever saying it now#YOUR parents put you through college. I got in on a scholarship. my parents literally told me they wouldn't be able to afford to pay#YOU are still living with your parents in a three storey house that they own standing to inherit all ur dad's businesses#I was living in a two bedroom apartment with my parents and a sibling standing to inherit shit we are NOT the same#nnnnggghhhhhhh this is so much I cannot even
1 note · View note