#Janusz Bodanowicz

[not-poignant]

Daily excerpt from chapter 14 of Underline the Blue:

Christian laughed. 'You've convinced them you have trauma? Oh my god. Nate. Anyway. Apparently your bond is so strong I have to repudiate it.'  Nate realised that's why Temsen had called Christian earlier. They'd explained it to him, they'd all agreed to it, and that's why Temsen had looked so disappointed when Nate had agreed to the call. He knew with a strange, horrible clarity, that Temsen - as weird as he was for a peak alpha - didn't want to put him through this. That's why Temsen was so angry. Nate was scared for the moment when he'd realise it was all Nate's fault.  'Please,' Nate whispered.  'Are you stupid? I don't want you. Do you want to know how much I don't want you? Kaden, come here for a moment, I need you to speak to someone.'  Nate was going to be sick. He was going to be sick. He couldn't see. The sound of Christian's voice muffled over the speaker, and then:  'You're so lucky you get to go somewhere so fancy.' A soft young man's voice, an omega's voice. 'He could've just broken up with you. This is a really nice way to do it.' 

[suis0u]

Illustrations for @not-poignant's story 'Underline the Blue' and his characters Janusz and Nate, who I just love!

[not-poignant]

[21 April - Taurus]

Janusz Bodanowicz is our fun-loving mechanic and ride-or-die supporter of his lover, Nate Prince. Whether a singer in a choir as a side character, or the main love interest and alpha companion in Underline the Blue, Janusz' upbeat approach to life matched with his high capacity for empathy and intelligence, has made him a rockstar, especially when up against characters who are struggling against trauma.

'I want you. I want you. I'm not walking away. I'm not going to walk away from you, Nate. I'm not going to leave you somewhere. I'm not going to make you leave if you don't want to leave. I want to look at you. I want to talk to you. I want to hear everything you have to say. I want to read your poetry. I want to help you. I want to be there for you, and hold you, and make your pain go away. I want to help you. I want to go on long drives with you. I want to sit on the beach with you, and watch sunsets with you, and tell you about my day, and listen to you about your day. I want you, Nate, I promise.' 

Underline the Blue

Falling Falling Stars: Janusz first appears as a member of a queer choir that Efnisien joins. He's the tall, cheerful, friendly boyfriend of the sour and off-putting Nate Prince. Helpful without being a pushover, upbeat without being naive, Janusz navigates Nate's and Efnisien's difficult chemistry with ease.

Underline the Blue: Janusz steps up to be the main character as an alpha companion assigned to a shattered omega, Nate Prince. In Underline the Blue, Janusz gave up being a mechanic to help omegas become genuinely healthier, but he's not prepared to deal with the level of abuse Nate has suffered through, and becomes determined to do all he can to help Nate through the hell he's going through, falling in love along the way.

29 years old (at least in Underline the Blue) with dark brown hair in an Ivy League crew cut, and grey eyes. He often wears stubble, but not a beard. He's tall (and is often taller than many alphas in Blue) but lanky.

Pragmatic and insightful, Janusz often deliberately picks cheerfulness as a way of orienting to the world, and is fully aware that some people can find it grating. He's a lot more intelligent than many people give him credit, and he prefers it that way.

In Underline the Blue, Janusz wanted to be a mechanic, but his parents made him do a university degree first. He ended up - on a whim - choosing omega theory and ended up extremely invested in omega activism. He was selected to work at Hillview Rehabilitation Facility due to his exceptionally high capacity for empathy, and his ability to quickly 'access' the mindsets of most omegas.

Prior to Nate, every omega that has stayed with Janusz has graduated within about 3-9 months, which gives him the fastest track record in Hillview's history.

He is supervised by Temsen Ohlo Ohlo

He's aware of kink and BDSM practices

In Falling Falling Stars, Janusz chides Nate for being petty and childish, when they're all spending time together at a sushi train. As a result, Nate apologises and softens slightly, and this allows them to continue to stay connected.

In Underline the Blue, (this one currently has only happened in early access - chapter 15) Janusz takes on Temsen, and Hillview, calling him out for doing a terrible job and representing an institution that - in that moment - has utterly failed both Nate and Janusz. Temsen, recognising that Janusz is right, yields immediately, and says nothing, leaving Janusz to bridal carry Nate out of the medical suite, representing a big turning point in his relationship with Nate and with Hillview.

In all stories so far, Janusz is always with Nate, and Nate is always recovering from PTSD. That might change one day, but so far that's followed through!

Janusz' personality has stayed the same. Honestly, almost nothing needed to change transferring his personality from Falling Falling Stars to Underline the Blue. As a result, I see Underline the Blue as a more exaggerated telling of the foundational story that is hinted at in Falling Falling Stars.

Janusz is an adept mechanic and loves fixing up cars, as well as going on long drives. The only part about this which has changed is that in Blue he's no longer being paid for it.

Janusz and Nate were originally envisaged as a real life manifestation of the 'someone will die...' 'of FUN!' meme. But as I continued to write Janusz, he developed into a fully formed character who is mature, intelligent, and lives a goofier life because it makes him happier to do so. He's a lot more insightful than he sometimes seems, and is happy to seem less well-informed while he gathers information. He can be calculating, and what seem like spontaneous decisions are often thought out well in advance.

His surname Bodanowicz should be spelled Bogdanowicz, but as he's the child of Polish immigrants, his surname was Anglicised to be 'easier' to spell. He has always found this hilarious because the 'wicz' still throws people off anyway.

He loves baking, and is very good at it.

'The truth is that my parents were really strict about me going to university. They wanted me to have the education they didn't, and university is important in like…my extended family. I was all for becoming a mechanic, ready to get an apprenticeship and drop out of school, and my parents put their foot down and said if I really wanted to be a mechanic, I could do it after a degree. And being the mischievous shit that I am, I decided to go into Omega Theory so I could become a companion and fuck hot omegas.'

Underline the Blue

[not-poignant]

Daily excerpt from chapter 17 of Underline the Blue:

‘I don’t know who to be, anymore,’ Nate said, staring somewhere on the bed, perhaps not really in the room at all. ‘I hate that so much. But maybe it’s not the worst thing ever, to have someone…nice, while that’s happening. Even if you don’t think you’re nice.’ Janusz’ smile was small, a bit of a grimace, but there all the same. ‘Nah, I can be pretty nice at times. But I was mean, too.’ ‘I didn’t hate it the first time,’ Nate said, his voice small. ‘The first time you mounted me. It was like- It was like something new.’ ‘Yeah?’ ‘It was…’ Nate swallowed audibly. ‘It was almost like when my parents used to do it, but different. Like a… Like looking up at the night sky somehow, and feeling it press down on you. That’s such a stupid fucking analogy. God.’ Janusz stared at Nate, fascinated. Was that the first time Nate had spoken like that around him? Ever? It was hugely self-critical, but wouldn’t a poet be like that? ‘It sounded like a huge compliment to me,’ Janusz said. Nate looked at him, and Janusz felt like he might be seeing him properly for the first time. He couldn’t describe it, but it was almost like a curtain had been blown aside, and he saw the razor-sharp intelligence in Nate’s dark brown eyes, he saw the edges that Christian had tried to shatter off him, and he saw a critical mind that tried to find words to capture impossible sensations and experiences. ‘Could you handle it again one day?’ Janusz asked helplessly. ‘The night sky pressing down on you like that?’ Nate winced, but then he looked aside and eventually he nodded. Not like someone eager to please, but like someone who was actually giving a considered opinion.

[not-poignant]

Daily excerpt from today's writing, chapter 14 of Underline the Blue:

‘Nate, it hurts when you use suicide like an ultimatum, without giving me a chance to talk to you first,’ Janusz said, his voice surprisingly stern. Nate hated that tone. He buried his face in Janusz’ shoulder, and whined when fingers stroked his hair. He didn’t deserve all this comfort, did he? He didn’t deserve any of it. ‘But you’re hurting so, so badly. We’re not going to place you with another alpha until you decide you’re ready. If you don’t decide you’re ready, we’ll figure something out. In the meantime, you’re going to live here with me, and share your heats with me so you don’t get hurt. Okay?’ ‘But I cost money. Christian won’t pay forever. I bet he stops now. He’ll stop. He doesn’t- He has someone else.’ ‘Shhh, Nate. Listen to me. Hillview costs so much so we can put funds aside to support omegas like you who need a place to live, and space to recover. You can stay here for as long as you need to. We’ve got your back, Nate. It might not be what you’re used to, and you might think we’re too nice, but don’t you feel like you might need something that’s nice for a little while?’ Nate wiped his face on Janusz’ shirt even though he was crying all over again. ‘Let it out, sweetheart,’ Janusz crooned. ‘No one’s going to yell at you for having feelings here. Especially about this. And later you’ll have a nap, and then we’ll make something nice to eat, okay? Do you want to help me?’ ‘Can I?’ Nate said, looking up, his words mangled by his own wrecked voice. ‘Yeah,’ Janusz said, with a tired smile. ‘Yeah, baby. Fuck all the protocol, you can help me.’

[not-poignant]

Daily excerpt from chapter 15 of Underline the Blue:

‘Why are you treating him like that?’ Nate said, his voice weak. ‘Are you angry at him?’ Temsen’s eyes narrowed a little, and he tilted his head at Nate, then looked sidelong at Janusz. But then his expression cleared. ‘I’m frustrated,’ Temsen said. ‘His caution around you, while it comes from a very understandable place, hasn’t been helpful. Omegas tend to do better with firm guidance. Janusz hasn’t been trained to handle certain kinds of cases, including yours, and he can’t really help how he feels, but he also needs to step more firmly into the role he’s been hired to perform.’ Nate felt dizzy, and he stared at Janusz instead, because his head felt less foggy when he wasn’t trying to focus on a peak alpha. ‘Oh,’ Nate said all at once. ‘You’re mad because Janusz isn’t meaner to me.’ ‘No, baby,’ Janusz said, stepping forwards, walking past Temsen and talking across whatever he’d been about to say. ‘No. That’s not it at all. He’s mad because Hillview didn’t vet this process properly, and now you’re stuck with me, I’m afraid, because of the shortcomings of this organisation and those in charge of it.’

[not-poignant]

December 2023 - Update Schedule

December chapter update schedule:

(Tier+ = This tier or any higher over at Patreon or Ream, as every higher tier accesses all rewards in lower cost tiers)

-

Sunday 3rd - Constellations 01/04 (AO3 & Patreon + Ream - Gary & Efnisien Tier+)

Sunday 10th - A Stain that Won't Dissolve 27 

Tuesday 12th - Underline the Blue 07/11 (AO3 & Patreon + Ream - Augus & Gwyn Tier+)

Thursday 14th - Underline the Black 73

Sunday 17th - The Nascent Diplomat 38/39 (AO3 & Patreon + Ream - Augus & Gwyn Tier+)

Tuesday 19th - Underline the Blue 08 

Thursday 21st - Underline the Black 74 

Sunday 24th - A Stain that Won't Dissolve 28 

Thursday 28th - Underline the Black 75

~

This month is both quieter, but not as quiet as it looks. We're doing some doubling up, so much like The Nascent Diplomat drops on both AO3 and paid membership on the same say (with the second chapter being early access), this will also be happening for Constellations and Underline the Blue this month! 

I'll be testing this to see how it feels, and giving myself a bit more space. If y'all like it / don't like it, let me know.

There is one Underline the Black chapter missing at the beginning of this week so I can take a bit of a break and have a bit more writing in the bank to handle some health stuff.

So excited for Constellations to launch on AO3! In like TWO DAYS :D

~

Stories with updates as yet undetermined: Palmarosa (As always I want to write this a lot but as you can see from my schedule I'm already writing a lot, but y'all I love this story and the epilogue just dropped so like fsdlakfjsad - I expect/hope for around 2-4 chapters)

Most chapters go up between 6-7pm GMT+8 (or the time that you’re already used to me putting chapters up, lol). For those who are anxious to know when chapters are updating, hopefully this helps! If there's ever an emergency, or a scheduling issue (like a surprise family dinner) I generally put up stories early and not late.

[not-poignant]

Daily excerpt for chapter 13 of Underline the Blue:

‘Thank you, Nate, that’s really helpful.’ ‘I’m broken, aren’t I?’ ‘No,’ Temsen said gently, with a smile. ‘But I think this goes some way to explaining something that Janusz has suspected, and that I think might be happening right now. You don’t feel very bonded to Janusz at the moment, do you? Not even as a friend?’ Nate swallowed thickly and then shrugged. ‘There are some omegas in the world who are a bit different to other omegas. We’ve had them at Hillview before, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you if it turns out this is the case. You can think of being an omega like a spectrum from those who are very docile and obedient, to those that are creative and quite strong-willed. That’s all within the scope of what it is to be an omega. We already know you like poetry, which suggests a creative mind.’ Nate’s breathing came faster, and he inched away from Janusz without even thinking about it, and then froze. God. What was he doing? What was he doing? ‘It’s all right, Nate,’ Janusz said. ‘You’ve done nothing wrong.’ Nate sure didn’t feel like that was true. ‘In these cases,’ Temsen continued, ‘an omega at the more independent end of the spectrum can prematurely create a level of bond we only see with alpha claimings otherwise. Let’s theorise that you’re not just bonded to Christian, but that you’ve gone further and are responding like he’s already claimed you. In those circumstances, we sometimes see a rare phenomenon known as a spontaneous repudiation. That’s a fancy term for an omega biologically shutting down to the idea of bonding with another alpha, and it goes beyond…being resistant – because it’s normal to be resistant – into something that feels quite catastrophic. It’s very painful, Nate.’

Going up tomorrow on Patreon + Ream (Augus+Gwyn tiers+)

[not-poignant]

Daily excerpt from chapter 13 of Underline the Blue:

‘Did you ever feel like this with Christian?’ Temsen said, his voice almost tender. Nate shrugged, and then looked away, his eyes still wet. ‘Um. I guess. Not at the very beginning, but like…after a few months maybe. After the first two heats. I made it go away.’ ‘That’s clever. How did you do that?’ ‘I…just decided to exist for him. And I decided my feelings about things didn’t matter. And it worked. Sometimes I get selfish again, but I try and ignore that.’ ‘Goddamn it,’ Janusz said suddenly, sounding furious. Nate’s face snapped to his, and Janusz did look angry, his grey eyes like a storm. ‘Janusz,’ Temsen said like a warning. ‘He doesn’t fucking deserve it,’ Janusz snapped, and then closed his mouth, and the muscles in his jaw worked. He was grinding his teeth, staring down at the ground. His hands were in fists. ‘Just so you know,’ Temsen said to Nate, ‘Janusz is referring to Christian, not you.’

[not-poignant]

Daily excerpt from chapter 12 of Underline the Blue:

'Nate, right now, I'm your alpha. I'm going to ask you to say it back to me, so I know you understand that.' A small, weak sound of protest in the back of Nate's chest.  'I know,' Janusz said, his voice firming. 'But you need to say it.'  'You're...' Nate's throat locked up. No. He was here because Christian wanted him to be here. Because Christian wanted this. And that was something only his alpha could do to him. Only Christian. And he was doing this for him.  'Nate,' Janusz said, his voice gaining an edge which felt like a knife. Janusz took a breath, his hand tightening in Nate's hair again. 'Christian signed you off to us. He as good as gave you to us. You don't belong to him anymore. You are the property of Hillview.' Property. Tears spilled down Nate's face.  'Christian did it,' Nate said, his voice breaking.  'You're right,' Janusz said. 'You're exactly right. Christian did that to you, Nate. Christian turned you into property. And then he gave you to us.' 

[not-poignant]

Underline the Blue (Nate/Janusz - Omegaverse)

Title: Underline the Blue

Pairing: Nate Prince/Janusz Bodanowicz

Notes: This is another story in the Underline the Black universe! Set prior to Underline the Black.

Summary: Nate, an omega, has been sent to Hillview by his alpha partner who doesn’t believe he’s good enough to claim or bond with, and wants him trained up at an omega rehabilitation facility to be a better partner. Nate is paired up with the alpha Janusz, who soon realises Nate has been micromanaged and ‘trained’ already to the point of having his soul shattered, and a journey of slow recovery and rehabilitation begins.

Underline the Blue - Chapter 07 - on AO3!

In which Nate realises his heat might be starting to end prematurely and becomes very worried about how strange things are. Janusz ends up having to use his alpha persuasion to calm Nate down.

Underline the Blue (early access) - Chapter 11 @ Patreon || Ream

In this Nate recovers from his heat and is allowed to go outside. He explores the beach with Janusz, but ends up realising something that makes him depressed and unwilling to talk about it. When they get home, Janusz uses a very direct method to help Nate to feel better: Mounting.

Early access chapters are released in the Augus & Gwyn tiers and higher on both Patreon and Ream. :D (Folks are only charged once a month on Ream, hence the slightly higher fee)

– Thanks to all the Patreon and Ream supporters for making this (and my other writing) possible!

[not-poignant]

Daily excerpt from today's writing, chapter 16 of Underline the Blue:

‘You gave a lot of your life, a lot of your self, and a lot of your soul to Christian,’ Janusz said, feeling the man’s name like a piece of shit in his mouth that he wanted to spit out. ‘Anything you’re feeling now, it might feel awful, but it’s not wrong to feel.’ Nate frowned as he considered Janusz, like someone who wanted to argue but was making himself not do it. Argue with me, Janusz thought with a peculiar thrill. Please just argue with me. He’d seen signs of it, especially when Nate was lost to his heat haze and hadn’t always been aware of what he’d been saying it. He knew Nate had no real love for him, and they hadn’t bonded, but he also knew there was potential. And Janusz was rooting for him. He’d gone beyond wanting Nate to have a better life, he craved it now. ‘If…’ Nate looked away and folded his arms. ‘Oh no,’ Janusz said with a smile, ‘the rest of your sentence got stolen by some mysterious creature.’

[not-poignant]

Underline the Blue (Nate/Janusz - Omegaverse)

Title: Underline the Blue

Pairing: Nate Prince/Janusz Bodanowicz

Notes: This is another story in the Underline the Black universe! Set prior to Underline the Black.

Summary: Nate, an omega, has been sent to Hillview by his alpha partner who doesn’t believe he’s good enough to claim or bond with, and wants him trained up at an omega rehabilitation facility to be a better partner. Nate is paired up with the alpha Janusz, who soon realises Nate has been micromanaged and ‘trained’ already to the point of having his soul shattered, and a journey of slow recovery and rehabilitation begins.

Underline the Blue (Nate/Janusz) - 11/? @ AO3

In which Nate recovers from his heat and is allowed to go outside. He explores the beach with Janusz, but ends up realising something that makes him depressed and unwilling to talk about it. When they get home, Janusz uses a very direct method to help Nate to feel better: Mounting.

Want to read the next few chapters available on Patreon or Ream? Get early access now on the Augus&Gwyn tiers! - Thanks to all the Patreon & Ream folks for making this story possible!

[not-poignant]

Daily excerpt from chapter 11 of Underline the Blue:

'I said something that upset you earlier,' Janusz said. 'You don't need to shake your head, I can tell when I've impacted your mood, Nate. Lying doesn't help anyone.'  It helped Christian. 'I don't think you're going to talk to me about it, though I'd really, really love that. So instead, I'm going to make an alternative suggestion. If you don't want to talk to me about it, I'd like to mount you.'  Nate's swallow was automatic. He remembered being mounted as a child by his parents when he was panicking or hysterical. Christian only ever did it as a prelude to sex. 'You can...fuck me without doing that,' Nate said roughly. 'I'm not going to fuck you,' Janusz said firmly. 'I'm saying that you can talk to me about this, or I'm going to mount you. There will be no sex. But I think you need the closeness, and I think you don't really know how to ask for it. I know this isn't a situation you'd choose for yourself, and my job requires me to make decisions for you at times like this. I thought about leaving it, but a one-way track to omegas staying here for a really long time is letting them shrink into themselves and reject closeness outside of their heats. So you get a choice.' 'A choice,' Nate said, surprised at how flat his voice was. 

[not-poignant]

Daily excerpt from Underline the Blue 10:

'Nate,' Temsen said softly, 'you've been taught by your alpha that things have to go a certain way, but if that certain way was going to magically turn you into what he thinks you should be, then it would have worked by now. I know this situation is extremely hard for you, but will you try it our way for a little while? We have no protocol in place that would ever make us give you to a meaner alpha. We just don't work that way. Christian's no idiot, he could have chosen any rehabilitation centre for you, he chose Hillview. He must have been able to see for himself that it was going to be different here.'  Nate didn't take his face away from Janusz' belly and felt like a child.  'You said I'm traumatising Janusz,' Nate said weakly.  'No, sweetheart,' Janusz said. 'It's not like that. The situation is difficult.'  'I don't want to be difficult. And I talk back too much. And I'm too mean. I don't respect anyone's authority enough. Maybe you don't have anyone mean enough.'  A hand resting gently on the top of his head, and Janusz' fingers scratching gently, mussing up his hair.  Temsen took a breath. 'You have one job, Nate, over the next few weeks. And that job is just to...settle in. You're going to have time with Janusz, time to yourself, you'll have your own room, you can ask for things if you need them, and Janusz is going to take you out so you can explore Hillview together. The weather's still warm enough to enjoy the beach, the forests, and I think you could grow to like it here, Nate.' 

[not-poignant]

Underline the Blue (Nate/Janusz - Omegaverse)

Title: Underline the Blue

Pairing: Nate Prince/Janusz Bodanowicz

Notes: This is another story in the Underline the Black universe! Set prior to Underline the Black.

Summary: Nate, an omega, has been sent to Hillview by his alpha partner who doesn’t believe he’s good enough to claim or bond with, and wants him trained up at an omega rehabilitation facility to be a better partner. Nate is paired up with the alpha Janusz, who soon realises Nate has been micromanaged and ‘trained’ already to the point of having his soul shattered, and a journey of slow recovery and rehabilitation begins.

Underline the Blue - Chapter 10 - on AO3!

In which Nate overhears a conversation between Janusz and Temsen and immediately misinterprets everything, leading to a discussion between the three of them. Later, Janusz makes Nate say something that leaves him feeling unexpectedly despairing.

Underline the Blue (early access) - Chapter 13 @ Patreon || Ream

In Nate becomes suicidal and starts to actively think of ways that he can get out of the situation he's in which is quite unusual for omegas in general. Temsen and Janusz stage an intervention with an unusual solution.

Early access chapters are released in the Augus & Gwyn tiers and higher on both Patreon and Ream. :D (Folks are only charged once a month on Ream, hence the slightly higher fee)

– Thanks to all the Patreon and Ream supporters for making this (and my other writing) possible!