#dr gary konowalous

[not-poignant]

Birthday Spotlight - Dr Gary Konowalous

[13th January - Capricorn]

Known first and foremost as the MVP of Falling Falling Stars, Dr Gary was a runaway hit even though he was never meant to be in anything more than a handful of reminiscences re: Efnisien's sessions with a psychologist who specialised in criminal juvenile behaviour, especially those who leaned towards murder, rape, arson and animal cruelty.

The Director of Hillview eventually came to be featured in the Underline the Rainbow alternate universe, an omegaverse where he is the Director of Hillview Omega Rehabilitation, a peak alpha, and the unlikely partner of Efnisien ap Wledig in an unusual m/m romance. Going from psychologist in one serial to lover and main character in another is a pretty big glow up!

‘You touch the lives of the people around you, Efnisien. In the past, all you saw was the negative ways you influenced them. I’m sure that will be the main way you orient to the world going into the future, though as I always say – we’ll work on it. But you do have an influence on the lives of the people around you. Sometimes it’s fleeting. But sometimes it’s meaningful, and important, and quite a remarkable thing. ‘I enjoy you as a client, not only because I enjoy the work we do together as a professional, but also because I enjoy the young man you are. You’re kind and compassionate, funny, and sometimes possessed with a very wicked sense of humour which I frankly find quite relatable. You’re insightful and courageous.’

Falling Falling Stars

Spoils of the Spoiled - A minor character referred to by name only, and the diagnostician of Efnisien ap Wledig, formally diagnosing him with Pure O (a form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).

Falling Falling Stars - Intended to only be a side character with minor cameos, Dr Gary quickly became the MVP of this long running serial, and was as much a star of this story as Efnisien and Arden!

The Moon is Down - A oneshot between Dr Gary and Mika from Falling Falling Stars.

Constellations - A Gwyn + Efnisien reconciliation story in the Falling Falling Stars universe.

Underline the Black - Main POV character alongside Efnisien ap Wledig. An enemies-to-lovers, alpha/alpha romance, with very unconventional dynamics and a significant (20+ year) age gap!

Underline the Gold - Cameo role

Underline the Blue - Cameo role

Underline the Red - More significant character here, and the unlikely antagonist

PhD of Psychology

Specialises in niche psychology (juvenile criminals/sociopaths in Falling Falling Stars, omega rehabilitation in Underline the Black)

Has a golden retriever - Polly - who is the goodest girl ever

He is dry, witty, dominating, a top, compassionate, insightful, bullish, heavy-handed, can be ruthless, and quick to apologise (though he has to be!)

Older. Age undisclosed in Falling Falling Stars, but he's 44 in Underline the Black.

The scene where he dropped absolutely everything to save Efnisien's life in Falling Falling Stars

Every time he's made Efnisien cry

Being so extra in an omegaverse that he's a literal "peak alpha."

Workaholic!

Consistently helping Efnisien realise the world can be a better place, usually after upsetting him a lot beforehand.

Dumping Efnisien into the ocean (just about) to snap him out of a dissociative episode.

The blue cup

His espresso + wine habit in Underline the Black

Chain-smoking his dead lover's cigarettes while moodily staring at the beach, in Underline the Black, like a 44 year old emo kid.

That good old PhD in psychology

He keeps his wry sense of humour

He always owns Hillview!

He cares deeply for Efnisien

Good dresser! Likes suits.

He pushes too hard

He has a strong sense of inner justice and equality

Needs a holiday

His appearance was intentionally never described in Falling Falling Stars so that people could imagine their own safe version of a psychologist! That's nearly 780k of never telling you his hair or eye colour, for example! Many people swear they know what he looks like, and are surprised to realise I never said a word about what he looks like in this story. Much to the rage and chagrin of fanartists (I'm sorry!)

Dr Gary's therapy sessions have inspired multiple readers to seek therapists of their own, and some people have described him as being the therapy they needed. Sometimes fiction just hits right, especially when Dr Gary's in the room. (He's a pretty annoying therapist though!)

I started shipping Efnisien and Dr Gary in the first 3 chapters of Falling Falling Stars, and then had to stop myself for the rest of the story to maintain their professional relationship. But in a way, the seeds for Underline the Black were sown a long time ago!

After typing 'Dr Gary' for so long in Falling Falling Stars, it took ages to train myself to write 'Gary' in Underline the Black! Thankfully it took Efnisien a while to get on board with saying 'Gary' instead of 'Dr Gary' as well. :D

‘Did you fuck me?’ Efnisien croaked, thinking he should be presenting a more macho image right now, but waking up to that dog touching him – and feeling a bit like he might be dying – was making it hard to manage much at all. ‘You would know if I’d fucked you,’ Dr Gary said, voice wry.

Underline the Black

[suis0u]

Inspired by  @not-poignant’s wonderful story Underline the Black ❤️. 

[charzea]

oops, more art.

This is fanart of ,,Underline the black’‘ by @not-poignant 

I was kind of planning to keep Dr gary faceless in my art, but i couldn’t help it. It was kind of fun to mess around with the design. I might keep him faceless if i do any other art after this. Efnisien will likely be the one to fall victim to my color studies more often because his curly hair is way too fun to play with :)

[freyadragonlord]

Dr Gary Konowalous from Falling Falling Star, by @not-poignant

It was interesting coming up with pictures for this character because in many ways, even after more than 60 chapters, he is still a mysterious guy, and half of the things hinted here we know only thanks to Pia’s behind the scenes. But he is still the MVP of the story, so I wanted to give him some love.

[not-poignant]

I'm rereading utb and while i def understand and agree with ef being held accountable for things, at the same time, it seems like everyone is constantly acting as if he's supposed to know how to have a healthy relationship and to cope with his emotions, much less his trauma, without anyone actually explaining or modeling this

Like, everyone constantly brings up the fact that he tried to kill Kadek even once they've acknowledged why and gary is starting a relationship with him while also essentially his prison warden and with how little ef has experienced in the world, especially as a psychologist, gary still not doing anything to help him get better coping skills makes it feel like he's setting him up to fail

Like, temsen is technically correct that ef domestically abused gary but he has literally never seen a non abusive partnership and is literally a prisoner in his current one

Idk, I really love this fic so, so much and thank you for writing it and i don't even need a response or anything, I just get defensive of ef when I'm reading sometimes bc he's trying so, so hard basically all the time and it seems like people acknowledge it sometimes in the moment but then don't give him the tools to make it any easier

Answering this one publicly because I know you're not the only one who feels this way or has felt this way!

Okay firstly, some of this conflict I'm evoking in the reader is intentional. I want people to feel defensive of Efnisien. I want people to think 'hey, hang on a minute.' There's a lot of reasons I want that, including the fact that in reality, most people don't recover from being abusive even after they've been in horrifically abusive situations in a vacuum (i.e. the whole world doesn't suddenly stop and become soft as cotton wool just because you've been abused! If you go and interview a whole bunch of people in jail right now, a lot of those folks (especially those who have done repeated serious crimes) will have experienced horrendous and incredibly unfair amounts of abuse, y'know? It's complicated. Yes, they have a right to heal and a right to support. Some of them probably did some pretty awful crimes as well. *coughs*serial killers*coughs*)

Obviously Efnisien is nowhere near that level, but the dissonance remains. He's certainly tried to murder more than one person. But we root for the person whose perspective we're reading. Still, people do not heal in a comfortable vacuum. In fact, most people are asked to be accountable for bad behaviour usually while suffering terribly. Because most people - unless they're certain kinds of extremely rare people - do bad behaviour because they don't know better and/or they're suffering intensely and it can momentarily feel good or satisfying to make other people hurt too.

That's an extremely hard process for the folks who are in that situation. Anyone who has had to recognise they're being a bully, or being abusive, usually goes through a period of time where they can't just immediately change, and what's expected of them seems impossible.

Now to everything else:

This world is a dystopia. There are things happening which aren't going to feel good when you're reading - systemic issues, issues around unfairness - because it's a dystopia. If those things weren't happening, and people just felt blithely comfortable with the entire world, well, that's not actually what I'm going for. There are times it should feel extremely disturbing to read.

So there are times I want readers to feel like things are unfair. There are times I want them to feel very strongly in one person's defense and only later realise the other person was hurt too. There are times I want them to feel like everyone is being unfair to a character. And times when I want folks to feel like the situation just sucks all round. Like, my intention in amongst the hurt/comfort isn't for things to feel easy or nice all the time, I am absolutely challenging the reader by introducing things that feel uncomfortable.

So when folks like yourself tell me this stuff it's like - yeah! It's a dystopia! And - yeah! Unfair things are definitely happening. This is especially true in the beginning when no one really has a concept of how bad things have been for Efnisien, or that he's an alpha. It remains true because no one is perfect. But it happens less often, that's what makes it feel more jarring as the story goes on. If you're rereading it's going to feel worse in the beginning, that's on purpose. The story is doing its job.

it seems like everyone is constantly acting as if he's supposed to know how to have a healthy relationship and to cope with his emotions

I don't really know what scenes you're specifically referring to here (like, just the first few chapters? The whole story? Temsen's single lecture?), but this is absolutely not the case. I'm going to look at the whole story:

The majority of the time that Efnisien is rude and disrespectful, especially once Efnisien and Gary are living together, Gary mostly ignores him, brushes it off, doesn't react or responds like it's normal dialogue lol. He's not constantly correcting his behaviour and he's not constantly like 'hey rephrase that to be polite' or 'I have feelings too' (maybe he should say the latter sometimes).

Gary is more aware than anyone that he shouldn't be Efnisien's guardian and that he's not a companion. He says this, out loud, to several people, several times. So we know that he knows that the situation isn't great / fair re: Efnisien's care (and frankly his own. Of the two of them, Gary's the one who keeps coming close to potentially dying from the other person's actions).

especially as a psychologist, gary still not doing anything to help him get better coping skills makes it feel like he's setting him up to fail

Gary is not Efnisien's psychologist. And psychologists are not doing their jobs on absolutely everyone, 24/7! This one is so important to remember (both in real life and sometimes in fiction). He's categorically not Efnisien's psychologist and it would be even more toxic if he attempted to be this if they were living together!

Gary being a psychologist is his job in the same way being an artist is a job, it's not specifically relevant to their relationship, except that Gary sometimes has better understanding of the root/s of some behaviours.

Ask any psychologist how they live at home and most of them do not want anything to do with their psychology jobs in their personal life, because they're mentally fatigued/tired from talking to people all day. They are not perfect people, they don't have perfect control over their emotions, they aren't teaching everyone the coping mechanisms they need to survive (this takes a lot of labour! It's exhausting! People can't do that 24 hours a day and stay sane. It gets toxic fast.)

The majority of the time Efnisien has extreme emotional responses, Gary just tends to absorb them, acknowledge them, or actively care for him. It's easy to miss these moments because I'm usually not making you feel conflicted about it.

The times Efnisien has extreme emotional responses and then chooses to repeatedly hurt Gary, there are often extreme emotional responses that follow because you know, that's what Efnisien was aiming for! He was trying to severely hurt someone!

Let's move onto Temsen and Efnisien, because this might be more of what you're thinking of, since Gary almost never holds Efnisien accountable tbh. Temsen is a doctor, and a peak alpha who is a leading educator in academic omega rights and theory. He is the first to deeply understand how young alphas left to get away with their smaller abusive behaviours are the kind of alphas who grow up into rapists, murderers and torturers like Christian in Underline the Blue.

(I just want to add, Christian's own abuse and PTSD is real, I don't think any of us are rushing to hold his hand and pat his head, because we sympathise with Nate more than Christian. But Christian has real pain, and real suffering too. He's a great example of how 'you're still accountable for your behaviour though' at its most extreme).

So, Temsen sees Efnisien's behaviour and he lectures and shuts him down like he would any young alpha who is on a really dangerous path. Even within that, he acknowledges himself - out loud - that it's a complicated situation and the time he comes down on Efnisien the hardest, he says the timing is poor. The majority of the time, he shows Efnisien compassion and care, and listens to his opinions, even when they disagree. He is the first to validate his gender both repeatedly in words, and in hormone and medical support. He's the first to change his approach to Efnisien's medical care when Efnisien calls out his lack of respecting his right to privacy, and he's the first to correct Gary about it when Gary expects Temsen to keep giving him information. He offers pragmatic, compassionate advice about many sensitive subjects in Efnisien's life, his health, his secondary gender, his nesting behaviours. And I would say this is how Temsen actually models better behaviour.

Temsen doesn't expect Efnisien to have all of these skills, but Efnisien has to be told what he's doing wrong and how that's not acceptable behaviour and how he's hurting people, to start learning those skills! Otherwise why would anyone bother? Vindictively hurting other people in moments of rage can feel satisfying for folks who aren't being held accountable.

You say no one is modelling better behaviour to Efnisien so I'm just going to pose some questions that are rhetorical:

How many alphas at HIllview are mounting or torturing Efnisien every day? Does Efnisien have choices in what he eats? Is Efnisien's opinion listened to more and more, especially in matters of his health? Do they care about his pain and offer him painkillers when he's suffering? Are the characters in the story trying to enrich his experiences and help him to become a more mature person by helping him overcome his fears of things like going outside? Are the characters deliberately trying to expand his support network by helping him see new people and lean on them for help, instead of keeping him in a box and forbidding him from seeing anyone? While also taking into account the safety of others?

Are the characters largely gender affirming once they learn more about Efnisien?

Are the characters actively teaching Efnisien social sciences to help him understand more about the world and human rights, which includes his own rights?

Do the characters acknowledge that Hillview isn't an ideal place for Efnisien, just a good place for now?

Do the characters want Efnisien to have a future where he's happier?

Do the characters allow Efnisien to have his emotional responses as long as they're not also abusive responses? For example, is Efnisien allowed to cry, nest, seek comfort, or even be angry, provided he's not being domestically violent? (The answer is yes).

Do the characters to the best of their ability explain things clearly and maintain their own boundaries around Efnisien to remind him that he can also maintain his own boundaries?

Are Efnisien's wishes largely respected where possible? (The answer here is also yes - such as refusing internal exams with Temsen, or having control over what he does most days and how he spends his time etc.)

Can Efnisien see lots of examples of people talking civilly to each other and often with great care, and not being abusive to each other? Can he see alternative forms of conflict resolution, management and repair?

Is Efnisien offered opportunities to repair rifts that he's created himself, after being cruel to someone?

This is just a start, but these people through these behaviours are already role-modelling a ton of better behaviours than anything Efnisien has been exposed to in the past. And we can see that Gary himself role models a lot of these things to Efnisien directly, including apologising frequently and quickly when he realises he's made mistakes. This is how Efnisien learned to apologise! And he literally has thoughts like 'Gary does this / so I guess I should do it too.' That's literally role modelling a behaviour :D

Gary's actually a pretty good role model, and the only reason Efnisien's behaviour starts to improve at Hillview as well as his quality of life is because Gary and Temsen are role modelling these behaviours.

Like, temsen is technically correct that ef domestically abused gary but he has literally never seen a non abusive partnership and is literally a prisoner in his current one

Efnisien isn't literally a prisoner in his current relationship!

I feel like when folks identify really strongly with a character, it's very easy to miss the times when Gary and Temsen for example brainstorm ways for Efnisien not to live with Gary. Aside from at the very beginning, these characters have actually talked about - in the story, in dialogue - options for Efnisien to not live with Gary.

Like they literally talk about making Efnisien a new room in the headquarters and possibly even building him his own building down the track so he doesn't have to be with Gary! As they trust Efnisien more, they offer many options to him. As the story goes on, they are absolutely not forcing Efnisien to stay with Gary, and nor is Gary. Efnisien himself communicates clearly that he would rather live with Gary than be on his own. This is something that gets checked in on, and more than one option is given to him.

Missing this is understandable, it's a long story, but it also means it's not true that Efnisien is a prisoner in that he's being forced to live with Gary. That's only true in the beginning when they literally think he's just a murderer/attempted murderer who's going to kill everyone at Hillview. As the story progresses, it shifts to 'well he's not a murderer, what are his other options?'

Can Efnisien live a free life wherever he wants? No. That's where the 'dystopian universe' tag comes in. He's not safe to, but Hillview staff wouldn't be concerned with educating him and teaching him independence if they didn't want him to live as independently as possible one day. It's not like Gary has to try to get Efnisien comfortable with going outside and experiencing the outside world, and it's not like he has to encourage Efnisien to meet omegas and betas etc. to hear different opinions, y'know?

But yeah the role modelling is happening: Efnisien's showing more and more tools in coping all the time! He's been growing them since the beginning of the fic. He's learned to communicate better. He's learned how to articulate what he wants and doesn't want more clearly. He's learned how to care more for others even if he often misses that he has the power to really hurt them. He's learned more (not less) confidence. He's having less (not more) trauma responses. He's learned how to trust in the people around him more, so he's starting to talk more about his experiences of gender. He's learned that what he went through was wrong, and is sharing more about the abuse he suffered.

These things would not be happening in a story where people weren't giving him the tools to cope with his life or weren't showing him ways to communicate differently.

The reason Efnisien talks more clearly and articulately now in the story, the reason he laughs more, cries more (which is more open/honest imho and healthier than repressing it), talks more, talks about his past more, expresses his opinion more is because Hillview has been equipping him with more tools to live a richer life pretty much as soon as they realised he's not going to just murder people at the drop of a hat.

In some ways they're showing more trust than our society would because like, attempted murder could land him in jail for a while in our society, y'know?

The reason they haven't paired him with an actual psychologist is that they don't have any peak alpha psychologists and Efnisien can use alpha persuasion on anyone else, and would certainly get angry enough in therapy to use it. We only need to look at how Efnisien responded to Dr Gary in Falling Falling Stars sometimes in therapy sessions to see that yes, this is a guy who - if he had the tool of alpha persuasion - would absolutely use it to get a therapist to shut the fuck up when he felt like it, lol.

But yeah, as always, if folks are feeling really uncomfortable when reading something I've written, it's often intentional. You're right, Efnisien's situation is unfair. A few of the specifics you've brought up aren't true, and have missed things in the story, but it's still not a fair experience, it's not always a pleasant experience, and it's...pretty dystopian!

When we get really deep into our emotional connection to a character, it can still help to remember that the situation often isn't exactly the same as it feels. But this story also has the tags: darkfic / disturbing themes / dystopian universe for a reason! The visceral discomfort is a feature, not a bug.

[not-poignant]

Daily excerpt from chapter 85 of Underline the Black:

‘Do you really think so?’ Gary said. ‘Cella, listen, I appreciate that you’re upset, but-’ ‘Upset?’ she said, tears coming to her eyes. ‘I have to take drugs to come here just to be able to stand up to you like this. Do you know that? I have to literally take suppressants and other hormonal blockers just so you don’t hypnotise me into saying whatever I want to think.’ Efnisien stared at her. He had no idea that was true. ‘Don’t you fucking talk to me about being upset! You’re such scum. You killed my brother, you should be in jail, you fucking piece of-’ ‘Hey,’ Efnisien said, breaking out of Gary’s grip and stepping in front of him. ‘Shut the fuck up.’

[not-poignant]

Daily excerpt from chapter 87 of Underline the Black:

'Oh, Efnisien,' Gary said, at a particularly thin whimper from the boy. 'I am sorry. Come on, I've made some hot chocolate for the both of us. Do you want marshmallows?' 'Do you want me to have them?' Efnisien said.  A swift spike of anger because he loathed Efnisien behaving like an automaton around him. He'd had enough of that from omegas, and it made his skin crawl. They couldn't help it, he couldn't help it, but this... What if this was permanent?  'Efnisien,' Gary said again, reaching out and curling his hand gently around Efnisien's ankle. 'Come on now, this response, it's physiological. It's not you, sweetheart.'

[not-poignant]

82/? - Underline the Black (omegaverse) - Efnisien/Gary

Title: Underline the Black Rating: Explicit Pairing: Efnisien ap Wledig/Dr Gary Konowalous Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Darkfic, Disturbing themes, Age Gap, Omegaverse, Alpha/Alpha, no Mpreg, Medical experimentation, Medical trauma, Dominance/Submission, Dystopian universe, Forced bonding, Forced relationship, Imprisonment, Nonconsensual medical procedures, PTSD, Flashbacks, Nightmares, Chronic illness, Mating cycles/Heats, Knotting, Miscommunication, Trauma recovery, Mind control, Child Abuse, Hope, Hopeful ending.

Summary: Efnisien ap Wledig is an omega born into an all-alpha family. Abandoned by his birth mother and raised by his aunt, he is subjected to a lifetime of medical experimentation and brainwashing and believes himself to be an alpha. But the experiments begin to fail, and he is abandoned yet again to an Omega Rehabilitation Facility, where the family expects he will be retrained into the ‘perfect omega’ and placed in an arranged marriage, or be eliminated if this is no longer possible.

The Facility don’t know about the experiments, and Efnisien doesn’t even know why he’s in there in the first place, since he’s an alpha…isn’t he? One thing’s for certain, he definitely doesn’t need an alpha companion, no matter what the staff at the facility seem to think.

Underline the Black - Chapter 82 - Selfies @ AO3

In which Gary takes Efnisien walking along the trail again, and they have a conversation about different things. Gary sparks off Efnisien's interest in photography and encourages him, and breaks his heart in the process thinking about all the normal experiences Efnisien never got to have growing up.

– Thanks to all the Patreon and Ream supporters for making this story possible!

The following early access extras are also currently available on the Augus & Gwyn, and Efnisien & Gary tiers at Patreon and Ream:

Underline the Red - 05 - Caleb/Faber Underline the Red - 06 - Caleb/Faber Underline the Gold - 07 - Flitmouse/Anton The Nascent Diplomat - 42 - Augus/Gwyn Constellations - 05 - Efnisien + Gwyn (post Falling Falling Stars) Constellations - 06 - Efnisien + Gwyn (post Falling Falling Stars) Constellations - 07 - Efnisien + Gwyn (post Falling Falling Stars) Underline the Blue - 13 - Nate/Janusz Underline the Blue - 14 - Nate/Janusz

Want another way to support my writing? // I have a Patreon account! // Come check out REAM! (Patreon mirror) // Buy a Ko-Fi!

[not-poignant]

Daily excerpt from chapter 83 of Underline the Black:

‘I mean, you’re not wrong,’ Flitmouse said, laughing to himself, the sound harsh. ‘How are you holding up, darling?’ Efnisien shifted his weight and took his phone out of his pocket, opening the camera. Ever since his last walk with Gary in the forest, Efnisien had been taking photos of the most random shit. He took a photo of one of the half-dressed mannequins. ‘I don’t know,’ Efnisien said finally. ‘Gary made me watch some porn with him. Like, peak alpha porn.’ ‘That’s…’ Flitmouse rubbed his fingers over a creamy looking fabric and then his shoulders slumped. ‘Yes, you did tell me. Peak alphas are useless.’ ‘I think he’s trying to let me know what’s coming. He told me I didn’t have to watch, or even go through with anything. He’s told me that before.’ ‘But that’s not helpful, is it? That’s not the problem you’re actually having, is it?’ Flitmouse said sharply. ‘How much easier would this all be if you just didn’t want it?’

[not-poignant]

Daily excerpt from chapter 84 of Underline the Black:

When they got closer to the road, Gary’s phone started buzzing relentlessly. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, alarmed, and saw he had several missed calls from Faber, and a stack of text messages. The most recent one that came up on his phone simply said: ~Now’s not the time to have your phone on silent, Gary! That was from Temsen. Gary grasped Efnisien by the arm. ‘Something’s happened.’ ‘What?’ Gary wanted to open his phone and read everything, but after what they’d just been talking about, he had a horrible image of someone injured. They’d lost an omega in a cave which had nearly ended terribly, they’d had injuries on site before. They ran across the road and got through the gate, and as Gary jogged towards the head office – having to slow down so Efnisien could keep up – he almost stumbled over nothing at all when he saw the red car pulled up in front of his cottage. His blood chilled, his pheromones spiked so fast he could smell them himself. Efnisien twisted violently away, gagging and retching immediately.

[not-poignant]

Daily excerpt from today's writing, chapter 79 of Underline the Black:

‘It’s a weird situation, isn’t it? Like some kind of playdate between children or dogs, while the owners sit on the bench nearby. It’s so patronising.’ ‘Oh,’ Efnisien said. He looked to Anton and Gary and swallowed. Maybe it was like that. ‘Is that something people do?’ ‘I beg your pardon?’ ‘Is this something that only happens with children or dogs? Like this?’ Flitmouse looked at him for a long time, and then opened his mouth, and then closed it again. ‘It’s just…’ Efnisien said. It’s just that I don’t know what happens out there. ‘Just what?’ Flitmouse said. ‘How do adults meet each other then?’ Efnisien said. ‘Do they meet at cafes and things like that? I’ve seen that on TV. Or they just go to other people’s houses? Crielle – my aunt – invited people over sometimes. So maybe that’s how we’d meet normally? In someone’s house? That might be a pheromone thing.’ Flitmouse took a long breath through his nose, and then laughed, but the sound was heavy. ‘Is it true that you never left the place you grew up, until you came here?’

[not-poignant]

Daily excerpt from today's writing, chapter 88 of Underline the Black:

'Why would you insult him?' Faber said, and Efnisien thought he really seemed stuck on the part, which was weird.  Efnisien just stared at him, and Faber made a sound of frustration and then turned and started walking again, quicker this time. Efnisien could tell he'd pissed Faber off.  'You know he's not always easy to live with,' Efnisien said, having to walk really fast to keep up.  'I'm sure that you're a perfect angel, in the meantime,' Faber said, and Efnisien pressed his lips together. 

[not-poignant]

Daily excerpt from today's writing, chapter 87 of Underline the Black:

'Oh, Efnisien,' Gary said, at a particularly thin whimper from the boy. 'I am sorry. Come on, I've made some hot chocolate for the both of us. Do you want marshmallows?' 'Do you want me to have them?' Efnisien said.  A swift spike of anger because he loathed Efnisien behaving like an automaton around him. He'd had enough of that from omegas, and it made his skin crawl. They couldn't help it, he couldn't help it, but this... What if this was permanent?  'Efnisien,' Gary said again, reaching out and curling his hand gently around Efnisien's ankle. 'Come on now, this response, it's physiological. It's not you, sweetheart.' For so long, Efnisien had been sure that he wasn't good for Gary. And since the beginning, Gary had known he wasn't good for Efnisien. As he knelt there, begging with a nineteen-year-old to come back to some rational thought, it occurred to him all over again that this was a bad idea, and perhaps he should be tangibly working to get Efnisien away from him. They were both so volatile.  'Please,' Gary said roughly. 'Otherwise I might have to call Temsen, and I think we both don't want to see him right now.'

[not-poignant]

December 2023 - Update Schedule

December chapter update schedule:

(Tier+ = This tier or any higher over at Patreon or Ream, as every higher tier accesses all rewards in lower cost tiers)

-

Sunday 3rd - Constellations 01/04 (AO3 & Patreon + Ream - Gary & Efnisien Tier+)

Sunday 10th - A Stain that Won't Dissolve 27 

Tuesday 12th - Underline the Blue 07/11 (AO3 & Patreon + Ream - Augus & Gwyn Tier+)

Thursday 14th - Underline the Black 73

Sunday 17th - The Nascent Diplomat 38/39 (AO3 & Patreon + Ream - Augus & Gwyn Tier+)

Tuesday 19th - Underline the Blue 08 

Thursday 21st - Underline the Black 74 

Sunday 24th - A Stain that Won't Dissolve 28 

Thursday 28th - Underline the Black 75

~

This month is both quieter, but not as quiet as it looks. We're doing some doubling up, so much like The Nascent Diplomat drops on both AO3 and paid membership on the same say (with the second chapter being early access), this will also be happening for Constellations and Underline the Blue this month! 

I'll be testing this to see how it feels, and giving myself a bit more space. If y'all like it / don't like it, let me know.

There is one Underline the Black chapter missing at the beginning of this week so I can take a bit of a break and have a bit more writing in the bank to handle some health stuff.

So excited for Constellations to launch on AO3! In like TWO DAYS :D

~

Stories with updates as yet undetermined: Palmarosa (As always I want to write this a lot but as you can see from my schedule I'm already writing a lot, but y'all I love this story and the epilogue just dropped so like fsdlakfjsad - I expect/hope for around 2-4 chapters)

Most chapters go up between 6-7pm GMT+8 (or the time that you’re already used to me putting chapters up, lol). For those who are anxious to know when chapters are updating, hopefully this helps! If there's ever an emergency, or a scheduling issue (like a surprise family dinner) I generally put up stories early and not late.

[not-poignant]

Daily excerpt from chapter 78 of Underline the Black:

'Would you want to do it again? Spend the day with Faber sometimes? Or visit Marikit or Lachlan?'  'Maybe,' Efnisien said. 'I mean, yeah, I liked doing- I liked doing stuff with Faber. Please don't...do anything bad to him. This is the kind of thing you would have done eventually anyway, right? Don't like... don't be that guy who gets really upset because he's a peak alpha and wants to be in control all the time.' Faber made a sound, like a quickly hidden laugh. When Efnisien looked at him, his hand was covering his mouth and he looked shocked at himself.  'I am a peak alpha,' Gary said, 'and I do need to be in control often.'  'Okay,' Efnisien said quickly, 'so you took control by letting Faber look after me for the day, and Faber made this decision, which still kind of happened under the umbrella of your control?'  Gary stared at him, then he looked at Faber. 'I see you're both well-suited to being co-conspirators.' 

[not-poignant]

Daily excerpt from today's writing, chapter 85 of Underline the Black:

‘I had to see it for myself. I couldn’t believe it, at first. I thought it had to be people stirring shit because the ten-year anniversary’s coming up, and I just thought,’ -She laughed bitterly, dragging a hand through her hair, eyes red-rimmed- ‘that it was the papers doing what they do best.’ It was in the news? Efnisien looked at Gary uncertainly. Was that why she was here? Was that what Gary had talked on the phone about the other day? ‘Is he even legal?’ she asked abruptly, squinting at Efnisien. ‘He looks sixteen! I know, I know, it’s legal in an ORF, but you’ve got to be kidding me that…’ She trailed off, staring at Efnisien for a long time. Her nostrils flared and then she frowned. ‘He’s not an omega,’ Gary said calmly. ‘You’ve been misinformed. And legally he’s an adult, though yes, he’s very young.’ ‘That’s an omega,’ she said, pointing at Efnisien. Efnisien felt something in his chest shrink down and become small. She was the first outsider he’d seen since arriving at Hillview, and he suddenly felt like every single person he’d ever met at Hillview – Faber and Flitmouse and Temsen and Gary and Anton and Marikit and Enris and Kent – had all been lying to him. It was a conspiracy, and anyone who hadn’t met him before wasn’t in on it, so they could say the truth.