#Jesus Christ her FACE

[patdevilles]

Essie Davis as Nancy Bradley in “The Murmuring” dir. Jennifer Kent - GUILLERMO DEL TORO’S CABINET OF CURIOSITIES

“What about you Mrs. Bradley? What do you love most about birds?”

“Oh, their freedom. Who wouldn’t want to lift off and fly away from the world like that sometimes?” 

[possamble]

oh they super understood the assignment this time holy shit

[mossy-rock-in-a-field]

Several weeks ago, my retirement-age mother requested that I play Baldur’s Gate 3 for her because she has trouble with controllers/keyboards and wanted “to see what all the fuss is about with that cute wizard boy.” For context, my mother and I have done this sort of thing in the past with certain RPGs (dragon age, mass effect, etc.), but it’s been a few years since she’s personally requested a game like this. Basically, I control her Tav but let her make all the choices so she can determine how the story plays out without worrying about mechanics. She treats it like a choose-your-own-adventure book.

Anyway, here is a list of some of the things my mother has said and/or chosen to do throughout the course of BG3 in no particular order:

She is (obviously) romancing Gale. She is quite smitten with him and his passion for books and learning; she also thinks he’s polite and qualifies as “relationship material.” She also REALLY likes the things he’s said about his cat so far (my mom is a cat lady), so I know she’s gonna flip shit when we meet Tara in Act III.

She’s playing a normal druid Tav with a generally good alignment. Her favorite spell is Spike Growth because she thinks it’s hilarious whenever enemies walk into the AOE and die. I usually end up having to cast it at least once per battle per her request. Sometimes twice.

Contrary to her alignment, my mother tasks me with robbing every single chest, crate, barrel, and burlap sack we come across; this also includes people and their pockets. The party is always at max carrying capacity. ALWAYS. She doesn’t like selling things because “what if I need them.” The camp stash is in literal shambles. There is no hope of organizing it. She’s got like fifty seven sets of rags and a billion pieces of random silverware.

She MUST talk to every animal and corpse in the game. I think five hours of her total playtime so far (47ish) has been spent speaking to animals as many times as humanly possible. Like, I was thorough in my own playthroughs, but this is on a whole other level.

She did NOT get Volo’s lobotomy, but she did let Auntie Ethel take her eye in hopes of a cure for the tadpole. I did not understand the logic then. I still do not understand it now.

She is far more interested in fashion than equipment stats. Do you have any idea how much gold I’ve had to spend on dyes just to make things match? SO much. Same vibe as that “please someone help me balance my finances my family is starving” tweet but instead of candles it’s thirty thousand fucking bottles of black and furnace red dye.

We broke the prisoners out of Moonrise, but they got on the boat too early and bugged the fight by leaving Astarion and Karlach behind. Wulbren Bongle somehow got stuck in combat mode even after engaging the cutscene on the docks below Last Light; he he kept trying to run ALL THE WAY BACK TO MOONRISE nine fucking meters at a time while I frantically tried to finish the fight with the Warden, otherwise Wulbren would have run straight into the shadow curse. (I would’ve let him go; fuck Wulbren Bongle, all my homies hate Wulbren Bongle. But my mom didn’t know that, and she wanted to keep him safe. So.)

She had me reload a save like eighteen times to save the giant eagles on top of Rosymorn Monastery. Wouldn’t even let me do non-lethal damage just to get past things. I think getting that warhammer for the dawnmaster puzzle took us like an hour and a half alone. (Yes, I know you can use any warhammer, but SHE didn’t.)

She’s started keeping an irl notebook to keep track of her quests between play sessions. She writes down ideas and strategies when she thinks of them during the week, then brings them to her next game session at my house. I think she wrote about three pages on possible approaches to the goblin fortress alone.

She insists that I pet Scratch and the owlbear cub before every single long rest, no exceptions. Sometimes I have to do it multiple times until she is absolutely sure that the animals know exactly how much she loves and cherishes them. She has also commissioned a crocheted owlbear plush from a friend of hers and is very excited.

I’m sure there’s a bunch of stuff I’m forgetting, but those are some fun things I thought of. She’s enjoying the game and is telling all of her retired friends to get it and play it for themselves. She asked me “what is Discord” yesterday and I think my life flashed before my eyes.

anyway shout out to my mom for being neat

Part 2 — Part 3 — Part 4 — Part 5

[itsalwaysforyou]

re: my last post

[lanabenikosdoormat]

i couldn’t get this fucking audio out of my head and now i have to torment you guys with my face again (im actually not sorry. death by one thousand lasers)

[a-chaotic-dumbass]

fascinated by how the asoiaf fandom refuses to have any nuance in the books that r entirely based on different perspectives

[thedevotionaltour]

even for period typical ableism it still drives me nuts for karen to go oh poor matt how can he deal and get around as if he hasn't been blind most of his life at this point and living on his own by himself as an adult for his entire adult life after college and has also lived in the city his whole life like girl use your damn brain he can get around by himself just fine. good god. like take five seconds to use your brain. literally adult man who lives by himself if nothing else that should tell you he is fine and when he needs assistance has the knowledge and ability to go get it you act as if he can't even walk on the sidewalk by himself. he literally shows up to work by himself. it drives me up the wall sometimes how she sees proof of him functioning fine independently literally witnesses it on the daily and still thinks these things. like again foggy isn't great either bc again the period typical ableism (and just general ableism in the world outside of this period as this is a common attitude of viewing disabled people as helpless and unable to function even if they are people who do live independently (and im not touching on people who do need extra support and caretaking in this context. as this post is about these characters in the context of a story. so im talking about what we see there instead of any truly meaningful nuanced way) but the writing here is like. Particularly this way due to the time) he has a modicum more of understanding that matt is literally a capable grown adult man. literally told karen matt is a big boy who can handle himself and then karen went b-b-but you forget he's blind as if foggy hasn't known him for years of his life and is his best friend like PLEASE SEE HIM AS AN ADULT. I AM GOING TO GO INSANE. PLEASE RESPECT HIM IF YOU LOVE HIM SO DEARLY. AND EVEN IF YOU DIDN'T. JUST RESPECT HIM AS A PERSON!!!!!!

[remix-of-your-guts]

y'all have GOT to get normaler about trans men.

[hauntingblue]

chopper has become catholic

[clits-and-clips]

Moving back in with my parents has actually been a wake up call. They are not travelling well at all which I knew, but had no idea of how bad it really is. Keep your family close and for fuck sake check up on your friends PLEASE

[possamble]

woke up and got absolutely obliterated by a farcille fancomic on twitter how are you guys doing

[veilkeeper]

Dame Aylin: Mother's Milk - your visage speaks of ill tidings. Speak, ally mine: what troubles you?

i know that but hey

[captainofthetidesbreath]

Every single one of you needs to stop right now already with the "Laura's microexpessions" nonsense in the Dusk scenes to go "Imodna real".

After what happened in Campaign 2 where everyone went "Laura's microexpessions" to go "she's CLEARLY in love with [Beau/Caleb]," "she hates Fjord SO MUCH, she's obviously miserable," "it's really clear that Jester wasn't actually in love with despite what she says and Laura says OOC." This fandom historically used still frames of the slightest changes in Laura's resting expression to fuel an exhausting, toxic shipping discourse and create an alternative narrative of "what's REALLY going on" that invalidated and outright ignored the way Laura characterized her character and everything she said about her, both IC and OOC.

I don't care to hear "but she's ACTUALLY in-character this time" or "but this time it's legitimately true and correct". It's irrelevant to me whether she's actually IC this time, and if it's true, the textual evidence will build without you having to go literally frame by frame through the slightest lines in her face. I don't want to risk encouraging this "Laura's microexpessions" behavior because vast majority of you have proven to be horrifically irresponsible, overzealous, and frankly in some cases almost delusional about it. Cut it out and act normal.

[sebbyisland]

“With this you are mine now. Let’s eat together, sleep together, and have a lovely life.”

(Desc in alt)

[panspy]

hmmmmmm.................vent post under tags...... feel free to give advice or dont¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[ear-motif]

imagine being alana in this scene. imagine being a third wheel therapist. i would block both of their numbers and move away