#John Paul Jones fanfiction

[foreverandadaydarling]

Camelia Season.

You carry so much love in your heart. Give some to yourself.

Unknown.

June 22, Reykjavík, Iceland.

It had been a few weeks since he had talked with Helene and he only knew that after their last call it was better to take things slow with her, even more, if she was working so much. He knew from experience that her patience as endless as it was, could be cut short if she wasn't handled with care. And that was the last thing he wanted.

Realizing that he couldn't be daydreaming over her without knowing much of what her life is, he had put his mind to know as much as he could but when asking Anne, what he had found wasn't of any help.

Working too hard, resting poorly, rarely speaking and always alone. All of that he knew but what had happened to her to end like that? And the truth was worst than anything he ever imagined.

The first months of 1965 had found her dressed in mourning from head to toe, too pale and thin, the dark circles under her eyes coming to stay.

The pain she had been through was unmeasurable, the death of her grandmother had changed her world for the worst. Truth be told, she had done the best to keep her alive but even with her best intentions, it was too late and unfortunately the worst had happened. Nobody had been there for her and she, who had always been so confident, felt for the first time in her life, utterly and completely alone.

Depression had taken over her and she had lost count of the nights she spent in bed crying. In those lonely and dark moments, a small thought had come and gone, if only John would be here... John with his sweet nothings and tender hands, the one who could understand her pain without a single word, who could hold her to his chest while she cried her heart out and make promises that everything will be fine until she fell asleep with his lips on her hair. John, the same she pictured sitting in the dark of her lonely bedroom, always watching with tender eyes and on some nights with pain and hate, but always there haunting her, making her think, wonder and hope but she knew all that... all was in vain. She wanted to run back to his arms, explain everything and be his again, of course. And night after night she had made her mind to go back to him just to find at dawn that she was alone in her room except for her loneliness and the resolve to stay away from him.

It was too late for them, she was too broken and it wouldn't be fair for him to carry on with her even when he maybe just maybe still liked her.

Too stubborn to back down, she had to learn to live with the sadness, the emptiness and that sharp pain in her heart, she had to. The resolve to make her bones and soul stronger increased even more when she realized that money had run short and she needed a job.

After that, she had been just the silhouette of what she had been. The loneliness of the house when she came and found everything black as routine or the emptiness of family love and affection as a usual companion didn't hurt as much as the first days and with the months it became bearable and even comfortable.

She was hardened beyond repair, the death of her grandmother had marked an end taking with it the sweetness and carelessness of her youth and the people in her memories. She had stopped thinking and remembering, it wasn't of any use, her tired bones and the machine of life trying to break her were more important and dangerous, always breathing on her neck, reminding her that the world had beautiful and happy families whom rested peacefully on their beds at night and shared full meals. Families full of love and kindness, families like she once had but didn't want to remember...

Because that wasn't her world, she was left alone in the dark.

July 18, London.

What she will do if they sacked her too? was everything Helene could think at the moment, that and John's upcoming call. It was true he had told Anne the day and the hour but waiting for him make her nervous and the knot on her stomach didn't help at all.

Sitting on the small chair beside the telephone in Anne's darkening green living room while she played with the hem of her blue dress and a little white handkerchief that she clenched with trembling fingers.

Her support to Cristine was a mistake and she had realized that at the moment but the way they had shouted at her just for messing up the embroidery of a dress was unfair.

But what she will do if they sacked her? Was the main task at the moment. God knows that finding a decent job wasn't her forte and if she lost this, she will have to go and clean floors with Mrs Henderson, her unbearable neighbour. Heaven forbid! she would like to go deaf just in a few months then having to listen to her ramblings.

Maybe she should go and find a job at one of those luxurious shops on Carnaby Street even just to clean the windows but... No! she will do the embroidery and the hems... and the neck and... it was too much, and she knew she could handle it but a few hours was too little time to solve it and in a decent way because one of the most exclusive customers wanted for a big party and...

The phone was ringing marking that John was there, waiting for her. Be calm, be calm, she whispered but her trembling hand picking the phone told her otherwise.

Frankfurt, West Germany.

What she didn't know was that on the other side John was as nervous as she. Helene... How have you been? He asked and just by hearing her voice knew that something was wrong. Fine, I'm fine. How do you do?

Lying she was lying to him and she couldn't hide it. He knows her too well to tell how her voice had changed just a little revealing that she was hiding something. She had always had the bad habit to hide things from him, even when he could help her just for the mere mantra that she doesn't want to worry him.

What is it? He hardened his voice because honey-sweet talking wouldn't help him if he wanted at least, to know a little. A small moan was heard, always the same he thought and knew she was ready to fight him out. John, please don't. She answered stubbornly as she always had been but he knew best and trying to be calm insisted on knowing. Please Nené... John, I'm just tired, that's all...

You-are-impossible, you know? He said and the memory of a rainy summer afternoon when he had said the same words when she refused to go into a bar with him just because her hair was wet and her shoes with mud put a smile on his face until he heard her choke on her tears.

What a mistake she had made.

Nené... You can tell me anything... Everything and more... And I'll be glad to help. He added but she stayed silent. Could she tell him all her troubles? No, it was impossible and really, she didn't want to. She knew him and was sure he will be worried and distracted, the last thing she wanted.

But John could be very insistent and she had to be very cautious because, in the end, she will have to tell him everything as if crying wasn't enough to have him worried, she admonished herself.

A bad day, that's all... Work's too hard this season. I'll never marry of that I'm sure. She said with a brave voice and his heart was crushed at hearing that. If she only knew he was married and with children what she would think?

What he didn't know was that she was silently crying on the other side, unable to stop just because the thought that he could be married had come, despite her efforts, as soon as her words left her mouth and wondering if he wasn't in fact, married. All those brides she dressed so beautifully in white satin or brocade, those delicate veils she had to sew for their big days, wasn't one of them his bride? It always had been a fear she carried, one that reminded her of what she let go of.

Is that all? He said after a few minutes passed without a word. Yes... She said and he knew she was crying but couldn't find a way to break her walls, what about the band? Are you in England?

She added sounding desperate to distract him as if something worried her but he couldn't place what it could be, after all, it wouldn't be related to him, who only had met her twice and hadn't done something wrong to her.

No, we are in Germany... That's great she interrupted him and silence crept to the point that made him uncomfortable. It must be strange to be far away from home... He heard but before he tried to reply a loud sob made him go silent. She couldn't talk to him without being ashamed of herself, a poor dressmaker hoping not to be sacked because she didn't know how to survive and a man, who she suspected was more than comfortable and obviously would pity her. That was the last thing she wanted in this world, his pity and there she was, sobbing on the telephone without being able to stop. What a shame she was.

That same shame was evident to him, who was assured something was really wrong when she hurriedly spoke a poor excuse, I must go, John, I'm exhausted. I don't want to be mean but... I really must go.

And after that, not a single minute passed until the line went dead.

He was left speechless, worried and confused, the telephone on his ear and only one thing for sure: she was in trouble, he knew and felt it, and he have to find a way to help her.

End of July.

They had sacked her after all, but for a whole different reason. She was ill. She had been all the time but had thought it was best just to pass over the symptoms until one night she couldn't breathe and her suspicions were confirmed when the doctor told her that it wasn't a cold but something else, a lack of red corpuscles, tiredness, fever and... after all pneumonia.

He had wanted her to be admitted as soon as possible but she didn't come back the next day, as she promises him with the excuse of calling her family and after a week she thought she would be fine, just to faint at work as a consequence of a two-day series of high temperature and had to go straight to the hospital.

A week or two at least.

It was too much and she had to work to eat but her pleas weren't heard and when Anne knew what was going on forbade her of any attempt of trying to get out without the doctor's agreement.

So the first week passed and since she was too young and the hospital too full, the doctor said that only full bed rest, meals and home care will be good enough to have her back to normal. But after two days of Anne's watchful eyes, on a rainy day, she went to work only to be sacked with the payment of a few days that a thief stole her on her way back home.

I'm going to get up early and go searching for something new... She told Anne while sitting in her friend's salmon-pink bathroom, her friend only smiled and put some ice on her swollen red eye. I'm not sure darling, I don't think is the right moment, maybe I should speak to a friend of mine and ask him if he doesn't have something at the pub for you... But first, we need to get your eye back to normal and that cough over and well... That arm doesn't look good, You are the only woman who can fight a thief...

Anne, what I had to do? I don't have any money, but at least I tried... It had been quite risky to fight the thief and she knew it wasn't her best idea but she was so desperate that at the moment she had fought so hard that at least he must have some bruises too.

But she couldn't say that to Anne so, instead, she started to ramble about her reasons only to be cut short by her friend, Bobby and I will help you... Bobby was an Irish factory worker Anne had met last summer and the two were head over heels in love, the only problem was Bobby's conservative catholic family and Anne's free-spirited way of life. She suspected he wanted to propose but, Anne had been on needles and pins since she found she had to learn about his way of life and religion, even when in fact, he didn't mind at all if she followed them or not.

Anne... He's going to propose and I don't want to delay something because of my health, believe me, I'll be alright. But Anne wasn't fooled and turning to face her wanted to say something until someone knocked on the door. Go away... Go...

This isn't the final... She admonished but running as she was the words only sounded empty and trivial. Minutes passed and the ice in her hand started to melt and she took it off. After all, it was a horrible swollen black eye and some ice couldn't do miracles.

Look at this preciousness! Aren't they the most beautifully arranged? In her hands, a delicate bouquet of blue, pink and yellow flowers made her smile shine brighter than any star in the sky with such a humble devotion to the man she knew had sent them that she was warmed too at seeing her friend so happy.

Freesia Viridis is such a beautiful variety... They're so pretty Anne. She admired it closely and finding them fresh she went for a vase to put them before they started to suffer. Botanic had been a secret passion of hers since she was a child and her grandmother used to gift her books for her to learn something new. You know they mean unconditional love... she almost shouted from the kitchen believing that Anne was doing God knew what, but to her amazement back in the living room she found that Anne was standing frozen on her spot looking at her. What's the matter? She asked and her friend only hide for a minute to keep her tears at bay, before she turned and held her hands strong enough to have her attention.

You have such a beautiful soul Helene and I... I wish you could be as happy as you can.

I am. I really am, Anne. You don't have to worry about that. She said, confused and touched by her friend's words only hugged her and suggested they have a cup of tea.

September, 1964.

What's the matter, baby? He asked her a million times only to have her looking silently at the streets. Something inside her was different but he couldn't place what it was. She had been restrained to the point that she prefered her loneliness instead him and that had him worried.

He often had seen her in her back garden covered in mud, apron on and hair over her face, working restless day after day after work. She's getting everything ready for winter, her grandmother had told him while she assured him not to worry but the look in her eyes deleted her own worries. Helene withdrew from every single thing and person, moving through her daily schedule like an automat, without thinking or realizing how worried everyone was because, even when she appeared as normal as she could be, beautifully dressed and always polite, the emptiness in her eyes was haunting. And on top of it all, he was the most damaged because of all the people who crossed her path if there was someone who got the worst part was him. She often tried to pass him by with a cold shoulder even when he didn't do anything to her.

Two weeks of that. Two long weeks when she barely spoke to him until he caught her after leaving work and asked her time after time what was wrong with no answers.

You'll tell me or I will find someone new, that will do the trick he thought, her silence getting into his nerves, but what he didn't expect was her uncontrollable crying. That's.... That's.... True? She asked between sobs, her head buried into his chest. No darling, but tell me what have you like this?

I'm not enough for you... I know, and... You will leave me, won't you? Her sadness was too deep that even if he talked, her sobs so deep and ragged, wouldn't allow her to listen. Her hands were clutching his suit jacket with such force that they were leaving wrinkles.

Promise, promise me that you won't be ashamed of me... Promise you will love me forever... She begged him with desperation. He had been so hurt that hadn't realized that maybe she was suffering too and just didn't want to say anything to him. He was ashamed of himself for only thinking about him and that feeling only grew by that look. The look of pure heartbreak she gave him when she was brave enough to see him in the eyes, the one that haunted him for years.

He remembered thinking that it had been so strange of her to act like that. Those crying jags, shaking hands and swollen eyes while she asked time after time about his love were so out of character and even more how much had taken him to put her worries at rest because she always had trusted him without a doubt. At the very end and after taking her home, he only was able to have her asleep in his arms while her doll face showed the strain of her tears.

Years later he realized that it had been the beginning of the end, and he hadn't seen it.

August 1970.

August had come with the sad news of his father's death and he remembered quite poorly everything but one day after the funeral.

I'm so sorry my love... Mo had whispered while holding him close to her heart. His father had died quite suddenly and it had shaken him to his very core.

He admired him and was proud to be his son. He had been such a good father, the one he wished he could be for the girls. The girls... had lost their grandfather and the thought that they will never know him enough to realize what a great musician he was and how much they could learn of him made him miserable.

If not for Mo, what could have been of him? She had supported him and had been by his side since the news was told to him. Always loving Mo, he knew she was suffering at seeing him like that but her words of love and hope gave him at least, some kind of peace.

Thank you... He said and was led to bed by her. His frail body moved almost unconscious, his mind too troubled to react to the fact that he had left him and his mother alone. And now, realizing what it felt to lose a loved one.

That night the boys had called him, first Robert just to be followed closely by Bonzo and lastly, Jimmy. Peter had come on the following days, to give his respects to him and tell him not to worry about the band. All of them had been so nice that it had warmed his heart to know that they liked him that much.

But a hole had been made and he couldn't place what was needed to put the pain at rest.

Tag List: @jonesyjonesyjonesy @rocknrollnbitch (always open for additions!🌿)

If you enjoyed this, please consider visiting : At Last.

[xanticore]

𝐂𝐎𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐘

Genre: Fluff

Setting: 1975 ,, Paris

Summary: The zeppelin boys were touring again. It was the mid 70s and you took a liking to their music. You ironically didn't have enough money for a ticket even after you told your friends you could go. Pretty bummed at the fact being concert day and a work day, a fellow member decided to try out your cafés famous croissants.

It was the day of the Led Zeppelin tour and you dreaded for not managing your money better. You tried throwing in some extra hours but your boss said no. You couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment. Your friends were all gonna attend the concert and you even got the courage to ask if anyone was able to buy you a ticket, sadly, they only had enough for one and some food money afterwards.

You huffed and just accepted the fate. Going into work and having people talk about the concert only made you jealous. It was worse when people recommend to play a certain record of theirs. It was a good album and they were touring off it. You tried your best to make it through the morning rush and brunch time.

Making coffee and warming up some of your famous pastries was your specialty. You were known as the coffee bean girl. The way you would make coffee of any kind was perfect for the tastebuds of the buyer. Nobody couldn't resist it. The cafe was a pretty popular spot having the occasional famous people of France come by. You were happy at the fact but it was always someone you wasn't really a big fan of; so it wasn't as special to you like the other workers.

It was now hitting 1 pm and you were the one left alone in the cafe to close up shop. You were currently sweeping the main floor and heard the front entrance ring as the bell door chimed. "Sorry we're closed-" You said before looking up and now was stuck frozen in place.

"Oh? is that so? I really wanted to try some iced coffee and a croissant. I heard this place had the best in Paris."

It was Jimmy. Your favorite member of the band. His soft british accent was music to your ears. He was wearing a white button up blouse and light brown pants with white boots. My oh my Jimmy looked like a Disney prince came to life.

"You ok there sweetheart?" He asked. You were quickly snapped back into reality and nodded. "I didn't know it would close at this hour. No one told me." He said a little embarrassed.

"Oh no Mr.Page it's quite alright. I can make something for you if you like?" You said trying to reassure him. you watched him giggle and it made your heart flutter. "No need for the formality darling. Just call me Jimmy. I really don't mind it at all." You smiled at his words.

"I hope it won't be too much of a hassle will it?"

"Of course not."

"Alright then~" He smiled sweetly and made his way towards the counter. You were already behind it looking at the famous rockstar observing the menu. "Can I get a small vanilla iced latte with a butter croissant please?" You heard his order and nodded. "That would be 4 euros." Jimmy paid his share and waited to the side as you made his coffee.

Jimmy went over to the record player and saw the last album that was being played. "Are you a fan of my band sweetie?" He asked. You looked up for a moment and nodded. "Will I be seeing you at the concert tonight?" You sadly shook your head. "No? Oh why not darling?"

"I couldn't get a ticket." You frowned. You finished his latte and sat it at the pick up counter. You then started to prepare his croissant. "Poor thing. Tell you what. Come to the venue and I will let you in on my behalf, since you're making my order while closed." He offered and your heart literally skipped a beat. "Wow thats...thats amazing! Im so happy thank you!" You said ecstatically. The warmer beeped letting you know the croissant is ready. You went along and took it out and wrapped it in the nice paper. You handed his drink and croissant to him.

"Thank you darling. hmm smells delicious honestly." He complimented. He first took a sip of the iced latte and was completely satisfied. He then took a bite of the croissant. "Woah-" He explained with his mouth full of pastry. You couldn't help but giggle as you walked around the counter going towards him. "How is it?"

"Devine. They weren't kidding..when people said you guys have the best coffee and pastries." His comment only made you smile and you couldn't help but look at his beautiful facial features. "Come on sit down with me and have a chat with me, uhh, (name)" You noticed how he squinted as he eyed your name tag. You blushed and you both headed towards a booth near the window.

The two of you talked for at least 45 minutes but it honestly felt like 45 seconds.

"I have to get going love, I have to prepare for the concert and all, and remember, come to the venue and say you're there on my behalf. If the security guards cause any trouble just explain to them..hell- even ask for me if it's necessary."

You nodded at his instructions still couldn't believe you got special access in the concert without having a ticket...not only that, you was able to meet him face to face so personal. It felt like you were talking to an old friend.

"Thats a good girl , you are." Jimmy smiled. Before he left he planted a sweet kiss on your cheek having you blush even more. "I'll see you later then sweetheart."

"Yeah~ 🩷"

a/n : I had so much fun writing this, all soft and cute. should I do a part two or just keep the original??

dividers : cr to owners

[samiwife]

I will always say that I love the way you write because it's really beautiful (I've read them about 10 times) Could you write some headcanons with Robert Plant or Jimmy Page? Because you're really cool at writing headcanons (I admire you😓😓)

Oh my god thank you so much!!!!! I love writing headcanons! Thanks 4 the support <3 Hope you enjoy <3

Headcanons and Preferences 𓆩⟡𓆪 (Ft: Robert Plant)

𓆩♡𓆪= Smut

ੈ✩‧₊˚= Fluff

⋆ ★= Angst

𓆩⟡𓆪 = Headcanons

Would always sleep in and you'd bring breakfast in bed for him

Collects records of his favorite bands

Walks around the house with a half-opened shirt exposing his chest

Great with kids

Always asks for kids

Cares a lot about his hair

Has a lot of hair products

Dances a lot in the living room

Constantly moving around otherwise he goes insane

Loves nature

Loves going on walks

Wears a lot of jewelry

For some reason he loves goats

Tries to work out but just gives up

Loves traveling

Would sing for you when you're sad

Would take care of you when you're sick

Sometimes he plays soccer in the backyard

Reads late at night

Loves fruit, especially oranges or apples

Always smells like tea, especially Earl Gray Tea

You always play with his hair

You also always mess with his hair

You tie up his hair in different ways

When he's sick he always drinks tea and listens to records

Sometimes he makes his own bracelets and necklaces

Rides his bike down the street to go to a nearby cafe

Tries to play guitar for you but gets mocked by Jimmy for not being good

Smokes cigarettes outside so he doesn't bother you

Gets jealous easily

Craves attention from you

Would stare down the person he's jealous of

Would make it known he's mad or jealous

When he's horny, he pulls you in closer and whimpers in your ear

Very slutty in bed

Moans so LOUD

VERY good during sex

He always loves it when you pull his hair during sex

Loves swimming

Eats scones a lot and drinks a lot of tea

Loves clothes shopping for you and himself

Holds your hand a lot

Has SUPER warm hands

SIngs anytime and anywhere

Would stare you up and down when taking off your clothes

Sometimes you cut his hair

He always talks in big words

Has the softest lips

Also, he has the prettiest eyes

HAS MAJOR BIG DICK ENERGY AND HE DOES HAVE ONE

Loves buying paintings and making some

Sleeps like a sick Victorian child (HAHA I'LL STOP)

Wears tight pants to show off his "size"

When you're injured, he'll carry you on his back and take you to safety

Always makes tea for you

Loves lying in the grass with you

Stealing his shirts is a must

Makes funny faces while singing

Winks at you constantly

Kisses on the neck and cheek are constant

Would say "baby" 20 times a day

Sometimes he calls you "mama"

You think he has a mommy kink (HAHAH I'M SORRY)

You sometimes think that he and Jimmy have a thing with each other

Sometimes he wears big fur hats to cover up his bad hair days

Lastly, he always cares about you. Even if you're mad at him. He'll try his best to make you happy again. He'll buy gifts, he'll hug you and kiss you to make you feel better. He will do everything in his power to make you love and notice him

THANKS 4 READING <3 TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES <3333

[airam1quhs]

Hello, beautiful people, and welcome to my blog! This will serve as both an intro and Masterlist

I won’t bore you with too many introductions, but the basic gist is that I enjoy music and writing, and I’m going to post a combination of that here! There are also a few movies etc that are very close to my heart, so I’ll write for those as well.

I take requests, so pop them in the ask box and I’ll be sure to respond :)

(This is technically a side blog. My main is @airamiquhs, but it’s shadowbanned)

key: 🌟= fluff, 🍁= angst

Who I Write For:

GUNS N ROSES

🌟New Year's | S. H. (more soon :)

NIRVANA

🍁🌟Reassurances | K.C.

🌟, very slight 🍁 Aneurysm | K.C.

🍁->🌟 Working Things Through | K.C.

🌟 Pancakes | K.C.

(more soon :)

CHRIS CORNELL

archive of cc fics

🌟 a-z (sfw!)

🌟And I Said it’s Alright (tw panic attack)

LED ZEPPELIN

🌟Sleeping My Day Away | R.P. (more soon :)

MOTLEY CRUE (I don’t write for Vince or Mick atm, more soon :)

MANESKIN (more soon :)

BACK TO THE FUTURE (OG) (more soon :)

STAR WARS (more soon :)

NONE/MANY OsTricH wOMaN

(if the reader is not specified as gn in the request, they will be taken as fem! And lastly, I'm more than comfortable writing suggestive content, but I won't write full on smut! I don't have any issues with it, it's just a personal preference)

More info on people I write for here :)

Works in progress:

-continuation of one letter in my Chris Cornell a-z (request was for an after show "hookup")

-high school! Axl Rose fair date

-gnr & motley band drama :0 (Axl Rose)

-after the show (Kurt Cobain)

-having a nice dream?? (Izzy Stradlin)

-"this goes to my lover" (Kurt Cobain)

-it's been a long lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely time (Kurt x best friend from Aberdeen reader)

-short blurb about painting together (Kurt Cobain)

-relaxing with Chris Cornell

[bijouxcarys]

Upcoming Fic Teaser :P

Pairing: Robert Plant x fem!reader x Jimmy Page x original female character (hehehehe)

I'm just gonna tag some people, hopefully get initial thoughts??? (maybe, possibly, perhaps?): @firethatgrewsolow @brownskinsugarplum76 @keepcalmandcarryfire @the-may-queer @callmethehunter @jimmypage7 @whothefuckisanja @laysidel-dekie @jimmys-zeppelin @lil-melody @lemongrablothbrok @willem-dafuq @ri0thouse

He just looked so good.

But so did he.

And so did she.

Maybe it was the coke, well and truly infiltrating my system by this point. Or maybe it was a result of my third whiskey. I didn’t care. All I knew was that I’d never been this high, in multiple senses of the word, as I was that performance at Madison Square Garden back in 1973.

Apparently, they rarely, if ever, brought along a girl from a different country to another. And I held onto that feeling. Knowing that Robert Plant saw something in me that was worth bringing along over an entire ocean was enough to convince me that I had made the right decision to drop everything at home and take off with Led Zeppelin at the height of their success.

Honestly, I was well accustomed to the rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle by this point. I’d had encounters with smaller bands that toured within the UK by the time I was 17. But Zeppelin was a whole other ball game. An entirely different planet. 

I didn’t care that this would one day end and that I’d go back to my dead job at a record shop. It couldn’t be too bad, right? I mean, if I hadn’t accepted that job in the first place, I would have never had the honour of being on this tour with the world’s greatest band at all.

Never underestimate a rockstar’s tendency to visit downtown music shops.

Robert and I had connected somewhat over our mutual interest in the blues. I slacked off my shift to take him to our storage space, just to let him rifle through the records we’d recently received. One thing led to another and I ended up accepting an open invitation to join him on tour.

19 and on the road with Led bloody Zeppelin.

It was their third and final night in New York, which also marked the last show of the tour. There was a subtle sense of anticipation that built throughout the whole tour, and it materialised progressively through the partying; the drinking, the drugs… the sex.

Everything seemed to get more and more intense every night. And, God, did that night take the win by a fleeting mile.

[theoriginaleppieblack-blog]

Happy Belated Birthday, Mr. Jones.

From Duncan Cameron and Paradox.

[jonesyjonesyjonesy]

Wildflowers (pt. xvii)

a john paul jones x fem!oc fic

summary: Julia Morgan knew nannying for three girls who had recently lost their mother would come with many challenges. But she never thought their father, the enigmatic musician John Paul Jones, would be causing her the most trouble. And while Julia is not in the business of saving broken men, her tenderness might be meant for more than little girls and wildflowers.

table of contents │ previous chapter

masterlist│ko-fi

notes: nsfw

a/n:  Merry Christmas from me to you. Hope it's worth the wait. 💖

pt. xvii, mulberry

“I feel like following you into the woods is the beginning of a fable of which I am the victim.”

Two weeks without Annie. When the cat’s away, the mice will play. And play we did.

Of course, my time was beholden to the girls and now, without Annie, I had extra responsibilities. On multiple occasions, John asked if he could compensate me for this, but I refused. A complication of sorts, our work relationship versus our newfound personal one. I simply did not want to conflate the two with any more discussion of money.

I couldn’t get enough of John. By day, he was my employer. By night (and morning and sometimes afternoon if we could help it) he was my lover. We hadn’t spent a night apart since his return from Montreux. My bed had become our haven, a safe place for us to talk and touch and tease. Just as the studio had been. But now we were much, much closer than that.

In just the two short weeks, so much had changed. John lasted longer and longer, as he had promised so adamantly. We became more comfortable bearing our bodies to one another, although in the cloak of night, most things feel possible.

I also noticed with the passing days, that John wasn’t just skin and bones anymore. The brittle edges of his ribs softened; his belly curved a bit more. He was hungry again. I’d never claim that I was responsible for this change. It’s just what the excitement of fresh, possible love does to a person. In the first year with Nick, I’d gained nearly a stone, which my mother was not shy to let me know.

Two weeks without Annie. I was exhausted. Kept busy by the girls who I desperately needed back in school as soon as possible. Kept awake by John’s seemingly limitless adoration. Everything was slipping through the cracks. Phone calls and letters went unanswered and much needed alone time fell through my fingers.

And I was so bloody happy.

But of course, all good things must come to an end.

“Annie comes back tomorrow,” John remarked to me while we washed dishes after dinner.

This was our new, after dinner routine. I washed, he dried. Strange to think it had become usual. It would all change tomorrow evening when Annie returned for dinner from her makeshift maternity leave. “Thank goodness. My hands are raw from all the washing. Who knew there was so much laundry?” I said wryly, running a sponge over another dish.

“Three children? Lots of laundry? Utterly shocking,” John chuckled, then looked over his shoulder at the girls who were playing a boardgame without argument (so far). “So, listen, Mo’s mother wants to take the girls to buy new school shoes.”

I handed him the cleaned dish to dry and shook my hands off of the scalding water. “Yeah? When does she want to do that?”

“I told her tomorrow would be good. Give you a day,” he answered and then softly added, “Give me a day.”

We exchanged a glance, John’s blue eyes glinting mischievously. I blushed and returned to the stack of dishes left to be washed.

“Something have you blushing?”

“No, it’s all the steam,” I replied. “Very hot.”

John laughed softly and then leaned his hip against mine, the pressure just enough to be purposeful. Always trying to test the boundaries of what we could get away with when the girls were in the room. “Shame. I was hoping it was my doing.”

My heart fluttered. “Me blushing because of you? Never.”

“Hm…” John buffed the plate in his hand. “Sounds like I need to try harder.”

I handed him the next plate. “You’re playing a dangerous game…”

“Don’t act like you don’t love every second.”

I pursed my lips, trying to hold back a smile. I did love every second. And if I was honest with myself, there was a slim part of me that nearly wished the girls would catch us. I was craving this budding love to be witnessed.

Then there was no way it could be pretend.

The next morning, Mrs. Hegarty arrived at precisely nine o’clock. The girls greeted her enthusiastically with hugs and kisses all around.

“Good spirits, I see,” Mrs. Hegarty grinned.

John sighed, “Yes, they are none the wiser to the exhaustion behind the scenes.”

Mrs. Hegarty touched John fondly on the face before grabbing my hand.  “You look well, Julia.” 

“Oh, you as well. Something to do with all the sunshine, no doubt,” I replied, hoping she didn’t notice how much my hands were sweating. I hadn’t said as much to John, but I was terrified that Maureen’s mother would be able to sniff our dalliance from a mile away.

“How are you spending your day off?” she asked me.

“I…well…errands,” I said and then laughed stupidly. “You know how it is.”

“I do. Always something,” she rolled her eyes. “Especially with little ones.”

“You’re lucky you’re not taking Julia to get new shoes. They have to special order them, her feet are so large,” John remarked dryly.

Mrs. Hegarty smacked him on the arm. “John! Your mouth…”

I gasped in laughter at her unintentional double entendre. “Why didn’t you warn me about this?”

“Then you wouldn’t have taken the job,” she replied, shaking his arm. “You…”

John eyed me with a smug smile on his face. I glared with all my might: You’re going to get it later.

Thankfully, Mrs. Hegarty moved on, ignoring any bit of tension. “Alright, girls. Say goodbye and get in the car.”

The girls did not spend much time on goodbyes, except for Kiera who demanded a kiss from both her father and me. I would die from the joy of domesticity.

“Try to enjoy yourselves at least a bit, hm?” Mrs. Hegarty said with a pointed look toward John. “All the working…not good for a person.”

“I’ll try my best,” John replied, taking her arm in his and leading her out to the car.

I stood at the door and watched as they said another goodbye. The girls leaned out the windows and waved to me. “Julia! Find a flower for me!” Kiera screeched with a big smile.

I laughed to myself. We had spent so much time exploring the woods over the past two weeks, revisiting the Flower Fairy poems, trying to find all the ones we could. Each new flower we found, we’d pick and bring home to press in one of the big encyclopedias kept in the sitting room.

Excursing into the forest hadn’t been a part of my plan for the day. In my imaginings, I only could picture fucking as much as possible in as many rooms as possible. Break in the house as if it was ours, so each nook and cranny had a memory of the way we made each other feel. That way, I could never be forgotten.

But the house was not mine, would never be mine even if John and I continued our intimacy beyond secret rendezvousing. Admittedly, from time to time, I would feel the blunt edge of guilt against my throat.

Warren House was Maureen’s. John had told me as much on the first day arrived. While I was not superstitious and did not believe in ghosts, her trace was in every room. Even the purchasing of the house was entirely for her. After all, she would be the one spending most of her time here and raising their children. In this way, I was overstaying my welcome. There was no part of the house I could claim as my own with John other than my little room.

For this reason, the woods…presented quite an interesting opportunity.

John watched the car peel off, his hands on his hips, his backside looking absolutely edible in his slacks, waiting until it was completely out of sight and then some before turning around to look at me.

We remained quiet as he came to meet me in the doorway. He slid his hands in his pockets and then leaned forward to kiss me. “Well,” he whispered as he drew away. “How would you like to begin?”

I did not reply, instead turning on my heels and making my way through the house to the sitting room. John followed eagerly behind me, but once I opened the door onto the terrace, he faltered.

“Where are you going?”

“For a walk.”

He frowned in confusion.

“You want to come?”

“I’m really not properly dressed.”

I shrugged slightly and then continued on my way outside. John followed without qualming any further, catching up to me and wrapping his arm around my hip. “You’re impossible, you know.”

“Am I really?” I asked and slipped out of his grasp once again, picking up the pace.

“Am I going to have to come after you, then?”

“I guess that depends how bad you want it.”

John’s pupils jumped wider. He cocked his head and curled up his lips. I knew that look. If I didn’t get ahead of him, he’d catch up to me too quickly. And so, I sprinted off in the direction of the woods, leaving him in my wake. He was not far behind me. My heart galloped like a rabbit running from a fox even though I was laughing breathlessly.

I arrived at the mouth of the forest first, where the trees bent like an archway, serving as the gateway into a different, verdant world.

“Alright, you win,” he said through gravelly breaths, approaching with slow strides. “Christ, I didn’t know how out of shape…”

I leant up against one of the trees, waiting for him with a smile. “Have to get out more, John.”

“Suppose so. Although with you around that doesn’t seem to be a problem,” he murmured.

I tucked my hands between my back and the bark. “Well?”

John approached me slowly, eyes scanning me up and down, until he was right in front of me. Too close if we were strangers. Much too close for my employer. He was still trying to catch his breath, each measured one softly touching my cheeks. “Well, what?”

I tilted my head back with a smile.

John didn’t tease me further; he kissed me softly, a hand to my waist and another by my head against the tree. One kiss turned to two, to three until he broke away and muttered, “If I couldn’t run from there to here, I really doubt I can get a leg over up against a tree.”

I cackled, grabbing his hand. “No, no, we’ve got to go for a walk first.”

John resisted me, feet staunchly planted. “I feel like following you into the woods is the beginning of a fable of which I am the victim.”

“Are you calling me a temptress?”  

“Yes. Absolutely,” he answered adamantly. “You’re a witch.” 

I tugged on him harder. John took several steps toward me. I was weakening him.

“You like to spirit a man away from his home and trap him with your feminine wiles,” he added.

“It gets lonely in the woods, how could you blame me?” I asked, adding to this mythology we were creating. “Trust me, you’ll like it.”

John clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes.

“Come with me, John,” I lilted.

He sighed, looking back up the hill and then to me.

“Are you scared of the woods?”

John scoffed, “No, I’m not scared.”

“I’ll protect you,” I replied. “Don’t you worry.”

John didn’t respond. I pulled again on his hand, a few more steps into the forest, the world growing verdant and shady. Something was keeping him, but I wasn’t going to let him abandon me here. “Fine. I’m coming. I’m a weak man,” he finally conceded.

I turned, not dropping his hand. “Come on. I have things I want to show you.”

We weaved through the forest, quiet at first. Eventually, John relaxed and followed without me having to guide him by the hand. When we came to the stream, I requested he take off his shoes.

John was wary at first and waited for me to remove mine. It was funny that a man in a profession such as his seemed afraid to take hold of his freedoms in a place such as this. And both of us being from the city, I understood his hesitation. If I hadn’t had my time at the farm with Auntie Gin and Graham, I probably wouldn’t feel as confident to claim my place here.

But for dust we are. And to dust we will return.

“Fuck, it’s cold,” John grumbled, poking his toes into the water.

I slid one of my feet against slimy, mossy rock. “You’ll get used to it.”

If I really was a witch, my spell had worked on him. He followed without hesitation. “I have to admit, this is not what I had in mind when I thought about spending the day together…”

I giggled as I carefully stepped further into the trickling stream. The cold water sent pangs through my ankles until I got acclimated to the frigid temperature. John followed behind me, his pant legs cuffed so as not to get wet. “What did you have in mind then?” I asked.

The forest sounds of rustling foliage and the tweeting of birds were only interrupted by the sloshing of our feet in the water.

“I expected to be more naked, I suppose.”

I laughed and gave him a smile over my shoulder. “Our feet are bare. Does that count for anything?”

“If I were that kind of man, perhaps.”

“John.”

“Oh, don’t be mean, Julia. People like what they like.”

“Right, like you like walking behind me right now, hm?” I flirted, glancing over my shoulder at him.

John reflexively looked down at my behind and then back at me. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t be shy. People like what they like.”

“Oh, hush.”

I laughed and walked a few more steps before stopping suddenly. John ran into my back and grabbed onto my waist with a gasp. “Julia!”

“Sorry, I thought I saw a tadpole! Didn’t want to step on it,” I said innocently, grinding my hips into him.

John tightened his grip on me. “Aren’t you just an absolute angel?” he asked through gritted teeth.

Before I could reply, he smacked his hand against my ass. I let out a ream of laughter and squirmed away. “Yes, I am. I care for all of God’s creatures. In all sorts of ways.”

“I’m familiar with your care, Julia.”

We returned to our pattern of walking through the stream, me leading, John following, pausing our conversation to take in the sounds of nature around us.

“How much longer?” he asked after a bit.

“Not too much.”

“I’m starting to think you really are lur – her – hah!” John cut himself off with an exclamation, accidentally slipping on a particularly mossy.

“Careful,” I warned.

“I was being careful!”

I gave him a look I would give one of the girls when they were being dishonest.

“I was! Swear!”

I started forward again, but not another step forward and I heard the same water sloshing, the same ridiculous exclaiming, and, this time, a loud splash. I turned to find John laid out in the water on his bottom, having caught himself to keep himself mostly upright. “I told you to be careful!” I cried out.

“The rocks are slippery!”

“Not if you’re careful.”

John growled to himself, looking like a drenched chick in a nest. He extended a dripping hand toward me. “Help me up.”

“Oh, no. I know exactly what you’ll do with that.” I turned back around and continued walking. “You’ll take my hand and then pull me down and then we’ll both we wet and –”

The rocks were indeed slippery, as evidenced by my feet sliding out from under me, throwing me straight onto my bottom and into the water. I was stunned into silence, gasping as cold water twinged against my skin and my dress soaked.

John stared to laugh. “Not if you’re careful, eh?”

I splashed him with water. “Shut up!”

John flinched, grinning ear to ear, and then splashed me back. Flecks of water hit my face. I scrambled toward him in the stream and sprung myself on top of him, enveloping him in a kiss. He caught me, nearly falling back all the way into the water. Despite being chilled to the bone, the kiss warmed us both right up.

“Well,” John murmured against my lips. “Now that we’re soaked, should we head back?”

I shook my head. “No, no. We’re almost there. Follow me.”

We helped one another carefully out of the water, rivulets of water flowing down from our clothes, creating sounds of trickling as we continued down the stream.

Only five more minutes of walking. Then, came the welcoming sight of the craggy rocks where the water spilled out from. I found the footholds up the bank that had been there since before I had discovered the place and John followed. At the top of the embankment, we could see it. My little pond.

Since I had discovered it back in May, I had been several times to lay out in the sun, to swim, to contemplate. It was somewhere I could escape to. And while I wanted to save it for me, I want more to share it with John.

“Are we here?” John asked, looking out at the water.

“Yes, we’re here,” I replied. “I come out here a lot when I can. To think.”

“Hm.”

“And to swim.”

John chuckled, “To swim. You’re something of a free spirit, aren’t you?”

I shrugged. “Maybe.”

“I admit, I haven’t spent much time in the forest. It always seems very frivolous, I suppose,” John said in thoughtful quiet. “Then again, I was here so rarely that I had to be with the girls.” He pursed his lips tight. He wanted to say more and was holding it back.

I had noticed this more often now. Moments that he would go somewhere else. When Mo, I assumed, would cross his mind. He would leave his present form, burrow into a memory, and time would stop. It was best to leave him to it. But not for too long, else he’d get lost for too long.

I walked over to a small tree, one that had become a friend of mine, with its branches extending like hands. I started to undo the zipper on the back of my dress. “You want to go for a swim?” I asked, pulling the bodice of my dress down my arms.

“Julia!”

I turned back to John, my dress hanging down over my hips, only wearing a bra on my upper half. His eyes darted to my tits. “What are you doing?” he whispered.

“Why are you whispering?” I giggled and then pushed the dress over my hips to expose my lower half.

“You can’t go swimming like that. Not in the middle of the woods.”

I shook my head, hanging the dress up in the branches of the tree to dry. “Oh, John. Don’t pretend like you’re all innocence, hm?”

“What if someone walks through and sees you in your…you know?”

“Well, they won’t,” I replied, undoing the clasp on my brassiere.

John’s eyes opened so wide I thought they might plop out of his head.

I couldn’t look at him as I took off my bra. Even though we’d be naked with one another, it was never in the pure light of day. I tried to hold back a blush, more exposed than ever. I thought about all my little imperfections that would be clear in the light: cellulite, body hair, and errant zit on my thigh. All of those things made me feel less like a woman and more like an ogre just because I had striven my whole life to be an unattainable perfect body.

Through the fear of being imperfect, I wanted him to see me.

I hung the bra on another branch on the tree, my nipples shriveling in the air, erect and prominent. “Besides, our clothes have to dry, don’t they?”

“I…I…” he burbled like a baby. “I suppose.”

I took off my underwear without much fanfare and hung them on the tree too. And then, shaking my hair off my shoulders, I walked past John to the rock I always jumped off of into the water. I felt his eyes the whole way over. It was nice to know that despite whatever violent delights he’d experienced in his strange, hedonistic life that he could still be surprised.

I dove into the water and left him on the bank. When I came back up for air, I looked up at John. His shock had morphed into a disbelieving smile.

“Come in the water,” I say, letting my feet float up to the surface.

John touched the bottom button of his shirt and nervously twiddled it in his finger. “Turn around.”

“What?!” I scoffed.

“Just…turn around, Julia.”

“It’s nothing I haven’t seen, John.”

“I know but…” he bashfully replied, looking away.

I couldn’t blame him; I had felt the same way.

“Just please,” John said with a pleading look.

I did. “You better be getting totally naked. No knickers.”

“Promise.”

I waited for a bit, trying to determine what sound I was hearing. The belt clacking, the trousers dropping, the leaves on the branches shuffling.

“Alright, I’m coming in.”

I started to turn.

“Don’t look!”

“John!”

“You promised!”

“You saw me. Can’t I see you?”

John let out a garbled sigh. “Just don’t act like you’re looking, alright?’

I sucked in my lower lips and smiled. “Alright.”

“And don’t say anything.”

I didn’t reply, turning my head slightly. In my periphery, I could see the peachiness of his new form, undetailed and bare. I turned a little more, finding him standing on the rock in glorious nakedness. There he was. Everything I knew so well and yet, in this light, so much better.

The things that in ourselves we define as imperfections were the things I gravitated toward. The slight paunch of his belly on his incredibly slim form, the disproportion of his long arms to his height, his flaccid penis looking shy and unsure, but full of a potential I’d grown to crave.

John was beautiful.

“You’re staring,” he muttered, wrapping his arms across his chest to hide his nipples.

I looked away. “Sorry, sorry.”

I didn’t watch as John leapt into the water, just felt the spray hit my face. The water stilled where he entered for the briefest moment. Then, he burst through the surface, gasping for air. “Bloody fucking hell!”

I started to laugh. “It’s not that bad.”

John pushed the sopping strands of his hair out of his face. “God, you really are a witch. Having me jump in frigid cold water completely…” He trailed off when his eyes met mine.

I sucked my lower lip under my teeth. The water almost came up to my chin with my feet touching the bed of the pond while John’s collar bone was visible almost entirely.

“What?” he asked softly.

I shook my head and then sunk under the water, pushing off with my feet and propelling backward, away from him. The water usual dampened the sounds of the rest of the world, but now I could hear John’s own movements in the water with me, coming closer and closer, until his hand wrapped around my ankle. In the soft slowness of the water, I let him drag me back toward him, my body curving, slipping down the length of his body until my feet were again touching the pond bottom.

We emerged from the water at the same time, a joint breath, the water now just beneath my breasts and John only an inch away, his hand having traveled up from my ankle to my hip.

I placed my hands on his chest tenderly. I wanted to explore every part of him, study him, make a topographical map of his body. I wanted to keep him. I traced my fingers along his clavicle to his shoulder, feeling the sharpness of his bones.

John leaned forward. I thought to kiss me. But instead, he nudged his nose against my cheek and pulled me into his arms.

We held each other for a while there in the water, arms encircling one another. Endless.

“Why are you scared?” I asked against his ear lobe. “For me to see you?”

I felt John’s simmering laugh in his chest. “Because no one’s looked at me in a long time,” he answered. He nuzzled his nose against my cheek. “And because you’re so utterly…not scared.”

I hooked my hand on his shoulder, leaning my head against his, shutting my eyes tight. “You’ve got it all wrong, John. I’m terrified.”

John hummed like he learned something he hadn’t expected.

“And you’re beautiful,” I added, my voice infused the way the leaves moved in the trees, so particularly quiet and ever-present.

“Oh, I’m not much.”

The last time I said that to a man was to Jimmy in the gardens of Plumpton. A shock of his memory panged in my brain. I pressed my face to his cheek, needful to forget the intrusive thought of Jimmy Page. “You’re really beautiful,” I repeated.

John didn’t shrink away. In fact, he gravitated further into me, turning his face to meet mine, his lips hungering against mine in a kiss. Our hips locked together, the water around us sloshing softly.

Water is a quiet thing until it is overwhelmed. It is pure until it is violent. And while John and I had communed and communed and communed together so many times, this was different. This was…

Holy.

“Let me see you,” I said breathlessly.

“You are.”

“No, let me –” I started to reach for the spot between his legs.

“Don’t,” John exclaimed, knocking my hand away. “It’s too cold, I’ve…retreated from the chill.”

“That’s such a polite way of putting it,” I giggled. 

He swallowed as he looked down at my breasts. “Well, I’m a very polite person.”

I traced my fingers down his arms to his hands and led him once again. He was under the spell completely now that he’d followed me into the water in the middle of the forest, naked. I had him around my finger. Just as I wanted.

To the shale rock on the shore that inclined out of the water, under a broken shaft of light where I often sat and sunned myself like a lizard after my swims. I spun him around and cornered him up against it. John braced himself. “Julia.”

“Up,” I demanded.

John swallowed, but followed my instruction. He sat on the rock, slowly backing out of the water.

My eyes immediately went between his legs where his cock that had indeed shrunk in the water, was now starting to come back to life in the sun. I crawled up onto the rock between John’s legs, regarding it with adoration before looking back to John. He was on high alert, sitting straight up as a pole.

“Lean back, John.”

He leant back on his elbows warily.

I ran my hands up the length of his legs, from his ankles to the tops of his thighs and back. I pressed a kiss to the inside of his ankle.

“Julia, listen…”

“Hm?” I continued a deathly slow trail of kisses up his calf.

“I know what you’re doing.”

“Mhm.” I kissed the inside of his opposite knee and drew my hands up to his thighs again.

John’s leg jerked and he let out a puffy sigh. “You know I won’t last, you know I won’t.”

I raised my gaze to him. “I don’t care.”

John’s breath halted in his chest as he stared at me.

“I want you in my mouth,” I murmured. “Would you let me?”

He blinked, mouth falling ajar. Then, he nodded.

I smiled, my eyes not leaving his as I returned to my trail of kisses. I didn’t want to miss an inch of the pale inside of his thigh. His skin was broken out in tight goosebumps, sheeny with pond water. Closer and closer until I got to the crux of his thigh and groin. I planted a long kiss to his hip bone before eyeing his member. His cock had recovered stupendously, hardening still by the second, foreskin tensing nearly all the way back from the head. I burrowed my nose into his shroud of damp pubic hair, teasingly close. 

“For Christ’s sake…” He was getting antsy. I loved making him squirm.

I kissed the base of his cock softly. It was hot, especially compared to the water we’d just emerged from. I trailed kisses up his cock, all the way to the head, following it as it curved to right onto his stomach. “You want to be in my mouth?”

“Uh-huh…”

“Want to feel the back of my throat?”

“Fuck. Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

I smiled, the head of his cock pressed to my lips. Our eyes met across the plane of John’s shimmering torso. I tucked my tongue under the ridge of the head, causing him to wince. “Sensitive…” I whispered and then popped the head between my lips like a lolly.

John’s thighs tensed around me. I placed a hand against his belly to steady myself as I slid him further into my mouth. Up and down, I bobbed. Painfully slow.

Every small noise John made was music to my ears, from the movement of saliva in his mouth to the way his breath was starting to wane to a whimper. I caressed the base of his shaft as I took him deeper and deeper.

Abruptly, John’s hips stuttered, shoving his cock up against the back of my unprepared throat. I drew back and gagged.

“God, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“S’okay…” I replied, licking my lower lip, steadying my breath. “You can fuck my face if you want.”

John looked at me dumbfounded. “What?”

I blinked. I couldn’t imagine he hadn’t heard anything like that before or done anything like that before. “Why do you keep acting surprised by the things I’m saying?”

“Because I am!” he replied on a laugh. “Because…” His ruby lips twisted to the side as did his gaze.

“Say it.”

John’s cerulean eyes jumped into mine again with stolidness. “Because when I met you, you seemed like such a good girl.”

I smiled astonishedly. I hadn’t realized how much I’d subverted his expectations. And while usually I was annoyed that people assumed my purity, this time, I loved it.

“But you’re really…”

Bad. Naughty. Dirty. I didn’t care. I put him back in my mouth and returned to my rhythm before he could finish his sentence. John’s whole body tightened. Now, primed to take him entirely, I worked him into my mouth faster and faster, until the head of his cock pressed up against the back of my throat again.

John collapsed, groaning. “Fucking hell…” One of his hands found the back of my head; he knitted his fingers through my hair, encouraging and unforceful.

I took him deep and fast as I could. I was sloppy, but I knew it would serve my purpose. To taste him. With one hand, I massaged his scrotum; the other found his empty hand. John took it tightly, squeezing our palms together so that my fingers splayed wide. He needed me. Needed to hold onto me. First he’d been afraid to get naked and jump in the water and now he was at the mercy of my mouth in the middle of the woods.

John’s eyes were shut tight, mouth lolling open between gasps, curses, and –

“Julia…”

I had learned how he said my name warningly. But I didn’t need the warning. I could feel the skin tautening around his balls, ready to burst the moment I hit him just right.

“I’m g-getting close.”

I hummed to get his attention. John opened his eyes again and watched me wrench my hand around the base of his cock.

An anticipatory breath. Hand gripping my hair.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum. Can I cum?”

“Mhm…” I hooked my thumb under his scrotum and pressed it against his perineum. And just like that…

Boom.

John cried out nonsensically, mewling like an injured animal. He writhed and twisted as the orgasm consumed him. His seed painted my mouth in spurts as his cock spasmed, tangy and hot. I slid him out of my mouth and swallowed before the texture became repulsive. Then, I rested my head in the cradle of his hip bone, watching his stomach rise and fall to catch his breath.

His fingers wove through my hair back and forth. A growl of satisfaction rolled up from the pit of his belly.

“So good,” I murmured against his skin.

John finally stabilized and lifted his head to look at me. As soon as our eyes met, he smiled. “Fuck.”

I giggled and kissed his navel.

He ran his hands over his face, pushing back tendrils of wet hair. “Fuuuuck.”

“Good or bad?”

John laughed. “What do you think?”

I could have spent a lifetime between his legs, hands on his thighs, gazing up at him. “So if I’m not a good girl, what am I?”

John lopsidedly grinned and tugged on my arm until I was tangled up against his chest. Like we were laying in bed together in the morning. “A very good girl.”

I bit my lower lip and nudged my nose against his, inviting a kiss which he bade me.

John sighed heavily. “What can I do for you?”

“Nothing.”

“But all I’ve done is –”

“Pleasing you pleases me,” I whispered.

John did not contest this; he pulled my leg across his waist and we laid there in our afterglow.

While pleasing a man with your mouth can be a thankless job, it doesn’t feel that way for the right person. When the pheromones are correct and the way their moans hit your ear send chills down your spine, that’s a whole different kind of getting off.

That’s power.

John and I could have laid there on the shale rock for eons and become a part of the scenery. Birds, leaves, lovers. What is more natural than that?

Our silence was interrupted by a grumble in my belly.

“Should we go back?” John teased, touching my waist.

“Mm-mm. Here.”

I got to my feet and climbed to the tip of the rock, naked and unafraid. It abutted a mulberry tree, pregnant with fruit. I picked some ripe berries and brought them back to John who eyed me suspiciously.

“What’s that look?” I asked, popping a berry into my mouth.

“You know it’s historically a bad idea to take fruit from a beautiful woman,” John said.

“Well, it’s also a historically bad idea to take it from a beautiful man as well. So,” I shrugged, licking my thumb clean of berry juice.

John smiled and took one from me. “I guess we’re both going to hell anyway.”

“I’m glad you’ve finally caught on,” I replied and put a so-purple-it’s-black between my lips for him to retrieve.

With a smile, John put his lips to mine, tongue curling around the berry. Ginger and intimate.

We gobbled down the berries, tart and sweet, the seeds getting stuck between our teeth and juice staining our fingers. And then, with full bellies, we reclined again on the rock, retreating into the warmth of the sunlight. Idle conversation, little kisses, long glances full of something unspoken to. 

Ashdown was our Garden of Eden or our Underworld, depending on who you believe tempted who.

But fullness and warmth commune together to create an inconvenient sort of thing: sleep. And despite everything, John and I drifted off together in the blanket of nature.

I guess I’d be remiss not to admit that I was falling for John, although I would not let myself think the word “love”. How else would I have been able to fall asleep in the duff in the middle of the woods if not having him by my side? There was no pretense to what was between us. We already knew the shade of each other. Now all we had to do was bask in the light.

John jerked awake first with a sharp inhale. “Aw, fuck. I fell asleep.”

“Me too.”

He sat up, rubbing his eyes. “What time is it?”

I squinted up at the sky. The light had shifted significantly, sun directly up in the sky. My body was completely dry and my hair like straw.  “Early afternoon.”

“Shit. Shit.”

“The girls, what time will they be –‘”

“I don’t know, I didn’t think to ask because I didn’t think we’d be leaving the house. I thought we’d be –” John stopped and then looked back at our clothes, his forehead and lips tightening. “Shit.”

I grabbed his bicep. “It’s okay. We’ll be okay. We’ll just go back. And if they’re back early, I doubt their grandmother would say no to more time with them.”

John shrugged me off and bolted off toward our clothes, scrambling around the shoreline over the moss-covered rocks. “Yes, and what will she say when you and I trip inside looking all raggedy and strange when you said you’d be running errands and I said I’d be working. She’s not an idiot,” he said whilst ripping pieces of his clothing off the tree.

I watched him, wrapping my arms around my legs, feeling myself caving in. “We just went for a walk.”

John scoffed. “Not to mention the girls will have questions. And what is it that you say? They always know more than they let on or whatever.”

I didn’t recognize John through his mania. He had been so calm and confident, even teasing me in front of Maureen’s mother. Why was he trembling now? Why was he afraid of being seen with me?

He looked back to me anxiously. “Put your clothes on, yeah?”

I nodded and hurriedly followed his instruction. No romance, no playful flirtation. Didactic and direct.

Like we once were. All those months ago. I hadn’t felt like the girl, the ghost, in a while. But it all came flooding back to me now as John’s cold demeanor returned.

I followed him back through the forest, neither of us speaking. The long walk made even longer by the pounding of my heart and the deep wound of abandoning our haven. I had forgotten something important; Eve abandoned the Garden. Persephone didn’t want the Underworld in the first place.

They were temporary.

And John and I…

Temporary.

I shook off the thought.

Finally, we made it to the heath. I could still hear the laughter from hours before, except now we were silent and beads of sweat were rolling down my back from the hot sun hanging in the sky. I longed for John to look back at me just once to let me know that I was okay. That we were okay.

John went in through the sitting room doors ahead of me; I snuck in quietly behind him. He stood in the middle of the room, waiting.

The house was stupendously quiet.

“They’re not here yet,” John said softly.

“No.��� I sucked on my lower lip.

John turned around to look at me. That coldness and worry had dissipated. He was smiling.  

All the worry in my heart disappeared. That’s how you know you’re doomed. When at one moment, you can feel like sorrow over the one you adore will kill you one moment and then, the next, they can make you feel like you’re on top of the world again. It’s like getting high. It’s like cocaine.

I suddenly felt so young.

“God, I was panicked,” John laughed.

I laughed too, shallowly. “Sorry, we should have just stayed at the house. I don’t know what I was thinking or –”

“No, no, no,” John cut me off and came over to me. He encircled his arms around my waist. “Your cheeks are red.”

“So are yours,” I replied. I couldn’t look him in the eye.

John touched my cheek. It was tender, sun-singed. “Have I upset you?”

I shook my head. “No, no. You just scared me. I don’t want to be a problem.”

“You’re not.”

“What I mean is, I don’t want to get in the way of –”

“You’re not, I promise.” John kissed my temple. “I’ve been so – uhm – caught up these past two weeks. Sometimes I get so lost that I feel like I’m a child.” His breath hitched in my ear. “Then I remember. Everything that’s happened to me. And to you. And…”

I played with one of the buttons on his shirt as he spoke. The thread was coming loose. I thought I’d love to fix it for him.

He swallowed. “I like how you make me feel, darling.”

I smiled.

John pulled at my skirt, bunching it in his hand until his fingers grazed my bare leg. “And perhaps against my better judgment, I’ll follow you into the forest anytime you like.” He kissed my neck. “Would you like that?”

I giggled as he peppered me with kisses. “Yes.”

“And since we have time, maybe we –”

“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!”

I gasped and pushed John away. Annie stood in the doorway, clutching her heart as if she might have an arrythmia. “Annie!”

“Are you two mad? What the devil is wrong with you?”

“It’s not –” I began.

“Don’t,” she cut me off, fire in her stare.

John tucked himself behind one of the wingback chairs as if distance somehow erased what Annie had just seen. “What are you doing here? So soon? We weren’t expecting you until this evening!”

Annie glared. “Clearly.” Her eyes reminded me of storm clouds. “I thought I’d get the house in order before I started on dinner. Was worried you’d burnt the place down, but clearly you had other things on your mind.”

I gulped. “We can explain.”

“Both of you sit. Now.”

John and I exchanged a nervous look. We might have been grown adults, but a mother’s wrath still shook us to our cores. John sat in a chair while I found an uncomfortable spot on the sofa a few leagues off.

Annie walked to the middle of the room, taking the floor as if it were a courtroom. “You ought to be ashamed of yourselves.”

“Annie,” John tutted as if he was speaking to one o the girls. “Really, this is –”

“Hush, young man.”

John zipped his lips together. I had to cover my mouth to keep from laughing.

“Something funny, Julia?”

I shook my head, hand still plastered to my mouth.

“Good. I’m not trying to be funny. There are responsibilities in this house. You both have responsibilities to the children. And getting tangled about like that is nothing but distraction.” Annie looked at me. “How long has this been going on?”

John tried to calculate. “Just a couple weeks.”

“No wonder you were so eager to shuffle me out the door. You wanted to gallivant about without a witness, mm?” Annie paced back and forth, shifting her ire between us. “Well, don’t think I haven’t noticed the road you two’ve been on. With all the stolen glances and little giggles. Not to mention the night you two slept in the same bed, trying to pass that off as –”

“We really did just sleep, I promise,” I interrupted.

Her attention shifted to me like she was a bird of prey. “Don’t interrupt me.”

I swallowed my tongue.

“I just expected you both to be better than this. Especially you, Julia. I expected more from you, Julia.”

“Me? What about him?” I cried out incredulously.

She rolled her eyes. “You know better. You know how men are.”

“Well, I’m certainly glad I lived up to expectations,” John mumbled.

Annie crossed her arms. “Where are the girls?”

“Out. With their grandmother,” he answered.

“You haven’t been mucking about in front of them, have you?”

“Of course not!” John replied.

Annie sighed in relief. “Thank goodness. There’s still time for you to undo all of this then.”

The word undo implies that there’s a way to return to the way things once were. That was not this. Even if we wanted to or tried to, I was not sure we could ever undo what had been done.

“Why are you so upset with us, Annie?” I asked. “We’re not hurting anyone.”

“Definitely not hurting,” John said under his breath.

I bit back a laugh. “John, please. 

“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.”

We exchanged childish smiles, two troublemakers in the headmistress’ office.

“Really, be serious, won’t you?” Annie said, the tone of her voice having shifted from that of attack to resignation. “No. You’re not hurting anyone. Not yet.”

Not yet.

Annie straightened out the boddice of her dress and adjusted a bobby pin in her tight bun. “I don’t want to pick up the pieces of anyone. Understand? I’ve done far than I’d like to of that. I can’t have any more hurt in this house. No more.”

I suddenly understood Annie’s gut response; she’d been traumatized by the love she’d witnessed in this house. The profound loss of a matriarch, the suffering of her children and widowered husband. She could only see the potential for loss between John and me.

“Annie, I think you’ll find we’re both rather happy with the situation as it stands,” John said carefully. “Right, Julia?”

I smiled. “Yes. Happy is a good word for it.”

Annie shook her head. “You’ll have to be good. I won’t tolerate for any foolishness around me or the girls.”

“Of course. Wouldn’t dream of it,” John replied.

She started to back away to the door. “I’m going to the kitchen now to tidy up and get started on dinner. Don’t you even dare think about going back to shaking sheets or –”

“We won’t. Promise, Annie,” I said, leaning forward, hoping for any sort of sign from her she wasn’t upset with me. She really had become my mum.

Annie’s eyes hardened on me. I couldn’t tell if she was angry at me for being loose or hurt for not telling her. Or perhaps playing out my future like an auger who knew more than she’d like. “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph,” she muttered on her way out the door.

John and I sat for a moment in silence before he got up. “I’m going to go try and smooth things over with her.”

“Alright.” I’d felt sad I hadn’t even been able to ask her about Bethany and the baby. The little boy.

John came to me and kissed the crown of my head. “It’ll be fine.”

Once he’d left, I realized how utterly exhausted I was. The long walk and the sunshine, the whiplash of emotion in just the past half hour.

I’d gotten my wish. For us to be witnessed.

And contrary to how I had imagined it, it felt absolutely terrible.           

tag list: @jimmys-zeppelin, @kari-12-10, @grxtsch, @edal-weis, @ritacaroline, @kyunisixx, @salixfragilis, @rebel-without-a-zeppelin, @jimmypages, @dollyvandal, @cassiana-on-dark-side, @thepinklovewitch, @babyl222, @faisonsunreve, @sastrugie, @seventieswhore, @raptorcat1960, @t4ngerinedr3am, @mayspringcome, @barrettavenue, @foreverandadaydarling, @glimmerofsanity, @matty-heally, @lzep, @jimmysdragonsuit13, @n0quart3r, @larsgoingtomars (let me know if you’d like to be added 💋)

[maziecrazycloud]

Jimmy meets with Zeppelin to discuss new beginnings, Aisling receives a ill-timed threat from the Prince. The universe will never be the same. The tipping point of The Bird and The Silver Spoon has arrived, the inception has ended, the chosen sapling has begun to grow.

-

Hello! Long time no see! As always, sorry for the delay between each chapter, but this one was justified. This chapter is crucial for me to set up correctly leading forward, as the description warns, "Nothing will be the same". I wanted this chapter to be as close to perfection as I possibly could get, and I really hope you all enjoy it as much as I did writing it. It was a daunting task, and I rewrote it a number of times, but this version is my best!
As always, Dark Tidings and Enjoy!
I would recommend turning on the songs "The Middle of the World" and "Dance of the Druids" for the last bit of the chapter! ;) (i thought id make this post with a bird, aptly names! Hehe)

CW: Animal Death, mild blood, anxiety attacks.

-

Tags! (If you want to be tagged in future updates, comment under this post!):

@jimmysdragonsuit13 @tiny-sorceress-mads @thegroovywitch @larsgoingtomars @jimmys-zeppelin @n0quart3r @foreverandadaydarling @lzep @summerofsmiles

[frootyrooties]

chances

plot: American photographer Leah Walker is ecstatic when she’s presented with the opportunity to spend the summer of 1975 in Stockport, UK to take photographs of local English groups. Given her history of taking photos of big acts such as The Rolling Stones and The Doors, she is taken by surprise when told that her first clients will be the up and coming Manchester-based group, 10cc, who have kept a low-profile until recently, after gaining worldwide stardom from their hit I’m Not In Love. Leah knows little about the group and gets acquainted fairly quickly, but what she doesn’t know is how much trouble she’s about to get herself into with the group’s beloved lead guitarist, Eric Stewart. She has all summer, come to think of it. The possibilities are endless.

themes: slow build, romance, grief, doubts about love, resentments, illicit drug use, discussions about divorce/parenthood, questionable future of the group, anticipated nsfw.

a/n: My attempt at writing smut about the sensational and one of a kind man, Eric Stewart. The first of its kind, perhaps. Feel free to leave some feedback to let me know what you think, or how I can improve! Enjoy :)

CHAPTERS

CH 1 Vacation

CH 2 Vogue Pt. I, Vogue Pt. II

CH 3 Tit-for-tat

CH 4 Spark Pt. I, Spark Pt. II

CH 5 Cheap Thrills

[daisychain-unchained]

Jonesy canonically part of my Lord of the Rings trilogy??

[littleoddwriter]

Rules, Guidelines, etc.:

[Used to be: ronaldrx]

I'm a hobby writer and mostly write (x Reader) FanFictions and Headcanons. But I am also working on my original story whenever I can, so that I’ll hopefully publish it as an actual book someday. My Ao3.

Here’s a link to my Ko-Fi, in case you want to support me financially. It would mean a lot to me! (Obviously no obligation whatsoever! You never have to pay for anything on my blog, it’s merely an option for donations.)

Also, here are my sideblogs if you’re interested:

Dead Poets Society

Horror

Raúl Esparza

The Simpsons

Only ask for the characters I’ve got listed, please. I’ve written down all of the ones I actually write for, and the list is being updated regularly, as I often find new (actors, whose) characters I write for! (And yes, I always write for every character, so don’t ever worry if you wanna ask for one I haven’t written for in a long time, or ever, it’s fine!) Please always be patient with me. If I haven’t outright declined your request, it’s definitely in the works; even if it has been weeks or months since you’ve sent it in! And only send your requests via ASKs. No DMs or comments, please.

If you have a request, send an Ask to my inbox.

NO sexual NSFW requests, please (more details further down).

Requests = CLOSED (Max. Limit: 10)

Current number of requests: 10

Last updated: October 29, 2023

Masterlists are linked with fandoms/actors/characters below. I WRITE FOR:

ALFRED MOLINA characters:

Doctor Otto Octavius/Doctor Octopus

DAVID DASTMALCHIAN characters:

Abner Krill/Polka-Dot Man

Bob Taylor

Denham

James Lewis

Johnson

Kurt Goreshter

Lonny Crane

Murdoc

Philippe/Abra Kadabra

Simon Lynch

Thomas Schiff

ETHAN HAWKE characters:

Arthur Harrow

Ellison Oswalt

Goodnight Robicheaux

James Sandin

EWAN MCGREGOR characters:

Alex Law

Catcher Block

Christopher Robin

Curt Wild

Dan Torrance

John Bishop

Mark Renton

Obi-Wan Kenobi 

Roman Sionis/Black Mask* (Birds of Prey - Masc!Reader only) [Any other version of Roman Sionis/Black Mask can be with a Gender Neutral/Female!Reader.]

HUGH DANCY characters:

Adam Raki

Cal Roberts

Luke Brandon

Executive ADA Nolan Price

Will Graham

KARL URBAN characters:

Billy Butcher

Black Hat

John Kennex

Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy

Markiplier EGOS:

Darkiplier

Illinois

Wilford Warfstache

Yancy

PAUL DANO characters:

Alex Jones/Barry Milland [Platonic only!]

Dwayne Hoover [Platonic only!]

Edward Nashton/The Riddler

Eli Sunday

Jay (Okja)

Joby Taylor

Klitz

PEDRO PASCAL characters:

Agent Whiskey

Dave York

Dio Morrissey

Eddie

Ezra

Francisco “Catfish” Morales

Marcus Moreno

Marcus Pike

Max Phillips

Maxwell Lord

Oberyn Martell

Ricky Hauk

RAÚL ESPARZA characters:

Bobby

Dr. Frederick Chilton*

Jackson Neill

Jonas Nightingale

Rafael Barba

Characters from 9-1-1 (Lone Star):

Carlos Reyes*

Eddie Diaz

Evan “Buck” Buckley

Howard “Chimney” Han

Josh Russo*

Mateo Chavez

Paul Strickland

Bobby Nash

Tim Rosewater

TK Strand*

Characters from Law and Order(: Special Victims Unit):

Detective/ADA Dominick “Sonny” Carisi, Jr.

Sergeant Mike Dodds

Detective Nick Amaro

Executive ADA Nolan Price

ADA Peter Stone

ADA Rafael Barba

Deputy Chief William Dodds

Little Miss Sunshine:

Dwayne Hoover [Platonic only!]

Frank*

Our Flag Means Death:

Edward Teach/Blackbeard*

Frenchie

Izzy Hands

Stede Bonnet*

Prisoners (2013):

Alex Jones/Barry Milland [Platonic only!]

Bob Taylor

Detective David Loki

Renfield (2023):

Count Dracula

Robert Montague Renfield

Tedward “Teddy” Lobo

SLASHERS/Horror Film Characters:

Asa Emory/The Collector

Ash J. Williams [I will usually default to Ash from the TV show, unless requested otherwise!]

Billy Lenz (1974)

Billy Loomis

Bo Sinclair

Brahms Heelshire

Bubba Sawyer/Leatherface (TCM 1974 and TCM 2)

Charles Lee Ray/Chucky

Chop Top Sawyer

Corey Cunningham

Dewey Riley

Drayton Sawyer

Herbert West*

Jesse Cromeans/Chromeskull

Lawrence Gordon

Lester Sinclair

Luigi Largo

Mark Hoffman  

Nubbins Sawyer

Pavi Largo

Stu Macher  

Vincent Sinclair

William Easton

Star Wars:

Anakin Skywalker

Obi-Wan Kenobi

Qui-Gon Jinn

The Girl Next Door:

Klitz

Eli

Characters from The Simpsons:

Cecil Terwilliger*

Fat Tony

Frankie the Squealer

Grady*

Jack Lassen

Johnny Tightlips

Julio*

Legs

Louie

Moe Szyslak

Ned Flanders

Otto Mann

Seymour Skinner

Sideshow Bob

Sideshow Mel

Snake Jailbird

Timothy Lovejoy

Waylon Smithers*

What We Do in the Shadows:

Anton (Movie)

Deacon

Guillermo de la Cruz*

Laszlo Cravensworth

Nandor the Relentless

Viago

Vladislav

* Please note that an asterisk (*) means that these characters are Male/Masc/GenderNeutral!Reader only (including non-binary, of course). Platonic relationships with Female!Reader are possible, but no romantic ones.

If it’s a character that is open to all Readers, and you do not specify in your request what you want, I’ll usually opt for a Gender Neutral Reader by default.

SHIPS, such as:

BlackBonnet (OFMD)

SteddyHands (OFMD)

Black Pete x Lucius Spriggs (OFMD)

Buck x Josh Russo (9-1-1)

Dracfield (Renfield 2023)

Buddie (9-1-1)

Eli x Klitz (The Girl Next Door)

Nandermo (WWDITS)

Herbert West x Dan Cain (Re-Animator)

McKirk (Star Trek: AOS)

Oluwande x Jim Jimenez (OFMD)

Barisi (Law & Order SVU) 

Renfield x Teddy Lobo (Renfield 2023)

Sickrent (Trainspotting/T2)

Stobotnik (Sonic Movie)

Tarlos (9-1-1: Lone Star)

AnderPerry (Dead Poets Society)

ZsaszMask (Birds of Prey)

Lastly, I would like to add things I will NOT write (about):

Sexual NSFW fics/headcanons (I used to write those as you can see in my Masterlists, but I have my reasons for not writing them anymore. Any hints at sexual topics are fine).

Anything related to death as the main subject (this includes deadly diseases, anything fatal, really, etc.).

Anything that romanticizes Mental Illness (my Vent Fics about my own disorders obviously do not romanticize any of it and I do not stand for that).

(Recreational) Drug Use

Extreme Possessive Behaviour and/or Jealousy

Yandere

If you have something you would like me to write for, but you do not see it listed anywhere, please ask me before requesting it, so we can talk about it. I hope you enjoy yourself on my blog and have a good time!

My Asks and DMs are always open for any questions or simply to talk!

- Jesse

[samiwife]

Too Good For Me 𓆩♡𓆪 (Jimmy Page x Reader)

A/N: Hey everyone! Hope you guys are doing good! Just a couple things, please request any stories of any 80's or 90's bands you guys like. And lastly, thanks 4 the support. Hope you enjoy this spicy fanfic of Jimmy Page <3

T/W: Sex (of course), pet names, and cussing (Reader Discretion is advised)

𓆩♡𓆪= Smut

ੈ✩‧₊˚= Fluff

⋆ ★= Angst

College has been having you beat, all the exams and tests make you have to study every night. All you wanted to do was relax for a day with your roommate Jimmy. Jimmy was originally your friend when you lived in London. Then the two of you moved to the U.S. together to study abroad. Though the two of you went to different universities. The two of you still came back home to the same apartment to hang out with each other. Jimmy was always your crush but you kept it secret for so long. You thought Jimmy was too good for you. He played guitar, was kind, smart, and would always do anything for you. People would often even assume you two were dating, but that's yet to happen.

One night, you came home from a long days of lectures and studies. All you wanted to do was relax maybe watch some movies. You walked through the apartment door, and you saw Jimmy's shoes near the door meaning he was home too. You sighed, kicked off your shoes, and hung up your coat. Then you heard a bedroom door open. It was Jimmy walking out of his room. You assumed he just woke up because his hair was a mess and he was wearing only a bathrobe and shorts. "Hey love, how was your day?" Jimmy said walking over to you. You weren't happy at all, it was a Friday but you just seemed so worn out.

"Not good, god I'm so fucking sick and tired of all these exams and studying I have to do. When will I get a fucking break?" you said angrily while throwing your papers and books on the kitchen table nearby. "Aww, it's okay darling. All your hard work will be paid off soon. I think you're doing an amazing job." Jimmy said while hugging you and stroking your hair. Jimmy had always been supportive of you. He was supportive when you said you wanted to move to the states for studying. "Jimmy, how was your day?" you asked while letting go and walking over to the kitchen to make tea. "It was good, however my partners for a music writing project are arseholes," Jimmy said while running his finger through his hair. You boiled some water and took out a mug.

"Well, if they're assholes then turn in your own work. I believe you can do it since you are good at songwriting." You said while ripping open a tea packet. Jimmy smiles and walks behind you. He wraps his arms around your waist. Jimmy rests his chin on your shoulder. You blush hard, Jimmy is never usually like this. He would always give you hugs. But never this. "Jimmy, what are you doing?" you said looking at him. "Y/N, I know things have been stressful. Why don't I make things less stressful for you?" Jimmy said while nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck. You breathe in slowly, and you feel your heart race.

Jimmy kisses the inner part of your neck lightly. You groan quietly and quickly cover your mouth in embarrassment. Jimmy smiled at the sound of you, Jimmy grabbed your hands from your mouth and pinned them to the counter. "Don't be embarrassed sweetie, I want to hear you," Jimmy said in a low voice. Jimmy lifts his head up from your neck. Your face was still red from him kissing your neck. Jimmy kisses your soft lips and runs his hands down your thighs. The kiss deepened, and Jimmy lifted you onto the kitchen counter. You pulled away from the kiss.

"Jimmy, are you sure you want to do this?" You asked shyly. Jimmy smiled and pulled your face in closer. "Y/N, I know you like me and you know what? I like you too. Everyone knows it. So why not now?" Jimmy said in a low tone again. You looked down in embarrassment. "I always thought you were too good for me." You said with your head still down. Jimmy lifts up your chin so he can see you. "Y/N, you are the most beautiful girl I have ever met. You are smart, kind, and independent. I thought you were too good for me. I'm just a loser guitarist." Jimmy said with a smile. You blush harder, Jimmy notices and chuckles. "So what do you think? Shall we continue where we were?" Jimmy said as he rubbed your thighs. You nodded. Jimmy leans in closer and kisses the crook of your neck again. Then the kiss turns into nibbling.

Jimmy sucked and bit down lightly on your sensitive skin. You groan and whine quietly. Jimmy didn't like how you were quiet so he bit down harder. Causing you to full-on moan. Jimmy smiles in your neck and runs his hands down your shorts. He slowly slips off your shorts and underwear. Then you remove your shirt. Causing you to only wear a bra. Jimmy removes his shorts as well. Jimmy stops for a second and admires how your body looks. "Darling, you're stunning." He whispers in your ear. Jimmy pulls you in closer and kisses your lips again. Jimmy slowly slides his member in, causing you to wince. You never told Jimmy but you were a virgin and he can tell. "It's your first time isn't it?" Jimmy said slowly thrusting in and out. You moan as a response.

"I'll take it slow for you, love," Jimmy said thrusting slowly. You moan at any slightest movement. "J-Jimmy can you go faster?" you called out breathing heavily. Jimmy complies and goes faster. Thrusting in and out hitting your spot every time causing you to almost scream. However, Jimmy wasn't silent either. Jimmy groaned and moaned deeply. Without you asking, Jimmy went faster than before. You grabbed tightly onto Jimmy's back hard enough to leave red marks. Jimmy loved the feeling of being on top of you. You were always shy and timid but now you're screaming your lungs out calling out his name in pleasure. "Ugh god, Jimmy you're so good." You screamed out. "Darling, you're doing so amazing for me." Jimmy huffed out. Jimmy trusted for a couple minutes until you almost feel your climax. "J-Jimmy! I'm about to come!" You huffed out.

Jimmy cradled you and continued to thrust. "Me too love, you can come whenever." Jimmy panted out. After a few more thrusts, you climaxed and rode out your climax. Jimmy smiled and pulled out. You grabbed his member and started to move your hand up and down. Jimmy groaned and bit his bottom lip. You moved your hand faster down his member. Causing Jimmy to arch his back. "God Y/N, you're so fucking good." Jimmy huffed out. "Yeah, what's my name, big boy?" You teasingly said. "Y/N! Y/N!" Jimmy screamed loudly. "God, Y/N I'm going to come!" He said while his back arched harder. "Then come for me," you said moving faster than before. After a few strokes, Jimmy came all over your hand. It was warm and sticky. Jimmy took a few seconds to ride out the high of his climax. Jimmy was panting hard. You smiled and pulled him closer. You kissed his soft lips and stoked his hair.

"Y/N, that was amazing. You were amazing." Jimmy said while he wrapped his arms around your neck pulling you in closer. You blushed and cuddled your head into his shoulder. Jimmy chuckles and bridal carries you to the bathroom. "I'm going to clean you up, and maybe clean myself too," Jimmy said while carrying you to the nearest bathroom. You chuckle and blush. "Jimmy, I love you." You said in a shy tone. "I love you too Y/N" Jimmy said while gently placing you on the bathroom sink. Jimmy grabs a nearby towel and turns on the bathtub. After a few minutes, the bath was ready. Jimmy picks you up again and places you in the bathtub. Jimmy hands you some soap and a loofa to clean yourself. Meanwhile, he got up and went over to the sink, and cleaned himself. After a few minutes of the bath, you were done.

"Jimmy sweetheart, could you get me a towel? And maybe some fresh clothes too?" You called out from the bathroom. After a few minutes, Jimmy walks into the bathroom holding a towel and a fresh batch of clothes. "There you go, dear," Jimmy said handing you the things. You dry yourself off and put on the fresh pair of clothes Jimmy handed you. But you noticed the shirt you were wearing was Jimmy's. It smelt like him. You walk out of the bathroom and quickly Jimmy bridal carries you again and takes you to his bedroom. He lays you on his bed and quickly gets in bed also. You lay down on his comfy bed and you feel Jimmy wrap his arms around you and pulls you in closer to him. "Goodnight Jimmy sweetie," you said while kissing his lips one last time. "Goodnight Y/N, my darling," Jimmy said kissing your neck. You chuckle and fall asleep in his arms.

[maverickthepup]

What I write, who I write, and what you can request!

Hi! This is where I have info on what I write, who I write, and what I am comfortable writing/what you can request! If you have any questions feel free to ask me!

What Maverick writes…

I write fanfiction, oneshots, and imagines, and headcannons!

These will of course include age regression or pet regression in some way, wether you the reader are a regressor, or a character is.

I will write for the fandoms/characters I have listed below. If you want a different character and don’t see them down there, you may ask if I will write for them but I won’t make any promises.

What Maverick is comfortable writing…

This is a 100% SFW blog, so no NSFW writing at all. I’m not comfortable doing that for age/pet regression.

I am perfectly fine writing relationships like dating or being married, with hand holding, cuddling, kissing, etc etc. But I will not do smut, kinks, or heated make outs.

Basically just cute fluff is what I’ll do!

I can write the following:

Âge regressor reader or character

Pet regressor reader or character

Caregiver reader or character

Fluff!

Dating/Married

Platonic! (Like just friends and stuff like that)

Poly relationships

Male, Female, and gender neutral readers!

I will usually write in second person point of view that way I can use ‘you’ instead of y/n.

I write a mixture of genders for

“Y/n”, I write male, female, and gender neutral that way everyone can hopefully enjoy my writing!

If you make a request and do not specify gender for “y/n” then I will just do gender neutral by default.

I will always specify before each writing piece what gender “y/n” is, and give a little summary of what the writing plot is! I will also try to put any warnings there too, so if I miss anything just let me know and I’ll add them!

Fandoms/Characters Maverick writes…

Here they are! Again if there’s a character you specifically want but don’t see then feel free to ask if I would write for them, but I won’t make any promises.

If you don’t see a fandom on here you can ask if I write for that fandom but it’s likely I’m either not in it or I don’t write for it.

Horror movies/slashers:

The Lost Boys 1987:

Michael Emerson

Star

David

Marko

Dwayne

Paul

House of Wax 2005

Bo Sinclair

Vincent Sinclair

Lester Sinclair

Friday The 13th

Jason Vorhees

Halloween

Michael Myers

Rob Zombie Michael Myers

Scream

Billy Loomis

Stu Macher

Sidney Prescott

Tatum Riley

Randy Meeks

Gale Weathers

Dwight “Dewey” Riley

Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Bubba Sawyer

ChopTop

Nubbins

Thomas Hewitt

The Boy

Brahms Heelshire

IT

Henry Bowers

Patrick Hockstetter

Reginald ‘Belch’ Huggins

Vic Criss

Predator

Yautja’s/Predators (if you have a specific one just let me know!)

Alien

Xenomorph

Marvel:

Tony Stark

Clint Barton

Natasha Romanoff

Bruce Banner

Steve Rodgers

Bucky Barnes

Thor

Loki

Wanda Maximoff

Pietro Maximoff

Vison

Zemo

Peter Parker

Stephen Strange

Matt Murdock

Peter Quill

Gamora

Drax

Detroit Become Human:

Hank Anderson

Connor

Kara

Luther

Markus

North

Simon

Josh

Gavin Reed

Mystic Messenger:

707

Zen

Jumin

Yoosung

Jaehee

Saeran

V

Monster Prom/Camp:

Damien LaVey

Vera Oberlin

Zoe

Poly Geist

Miranda Vanderbilt

Liam De Lioncourt

Scott Howl

Calculester

Milo Belladonna

Dahlia Aquino

Aaravi Mishra (And Hex)

Joy Johnson Johjima

Moss Mann

The Narrator

The Wolf Among Us (video game):

Bigby Wolf

Snow

Beauty

Beast

Bloody Mary

Red Dead Redemption:

Arthur Morgan

John Marston

Dutch Van Der Linde

Javier Escuella

Sean Maguire

Charles Smith

Lenny Summers

Tilly Jackson

Marybeth

Abigail Roberts

Karen Jones

Sadie Adler

Miss Grimshaw (platonic only)

Hosea Matthews (platonic only)

Heathers: (movie or musical, just specify which one you’d prefer! Even though there probably won’t be much of a difference in my writing… but I will try!)

Heather Chandler

Heather Duke

Heather McNamara

Veronica Sawyer

J.D

Kurt

Ram

The Breakfast Club:

John Bender

Alison Reynolds

Claire Standish

Brian Johnson

Andrew Clark

[psychedeliagroove]

I’m having a Bob Dylan phase

[jonesyjonesyjonesy]

Wildflowers (pt. xviii)

a john paul jones x fem!oc fic

summary: Julia Morgan knew nannying for three girls who had recently lost their mother would come with many challenges. But she never thought their father, the enigmatic musician John Paul Jones, would be causing her the most trouble. And while Julia is not in the business of saving broken men, her tenderness might be meant for more than little girls and wildflowers.

table of contents │ previous chapter

masterlist│ko-fi

notes: general angst, brief allusion to ed, imbibed john paul jones

a/n:  shoutout to the anon who has said wf reminds them of lady chatterly i'm sorry i've never responded to you

pt. xviii, nightshade

“I think I want to. I think I’m ready to get back at it.”

The sound of keys jangling, scraping into the lock. Skkrrt…skrr…thnk…thnk…

Then his cursing. “Bloody hell.”

I made my way from the stairs to the door; the front hall was lit sparely by a candelabra wall sconce, casting eerie shadows on the dark wood paneling.

It was late. And he’d told me not to wait up, but I couldn’t stand to be in bed alone. I’d become so accustomed to his body next to mine, his warmth and weight always just a brush away.

More keys jangling. Mumbling. Another key shoved into the lock, angry and wrong.

Truthfully, I’d been anxious since John told me he’d be going to Plumpton for the evening. It was a last minute thing, a phone call that morning from Peter or Jimmy. Never clear which. The girls and I were already sitting around the breakfast table, his space auspiciously empty.

“Where’s Daddy?” Kiera asked.

“Yes, Julia, where’s John?” Annie followed up, vaguely scathing.

I glared at her. Ever since Annie came back, nighttime was the only time John and me could safely spend together without fear of her critical eye. No more playing house or stolen kisses while the girls’ backs were turned.

For all of John’s attempts at smoothing things over after Annie walked in on us, she remained relatively cool, at least to me. Our conversations always had a tense undercurrent. We could be near to enjoying ourselves when Annie would suddenly remember my indiscretions and freeze up on me.

Or she’d just be plain rude.

“Girls, you start eating. I’ll go check on your father,” I said as I got up from my spot at the table.

“Yes, who knows how long it might take Julia to…do whatever she does,” Annie added.

I turned to her sharply. “Do you mind?”

She didn’t look up from scrubbing a pan in the sink. “Pardon?”

“Do you mind holding back your commentary, Anna?”

Annie smiled at me saccharinely. “No, don’t mind at all.”

I rolled my eyes, but as soon as I turned to go, John swept in through the door, nearly walking right into me. “Oh!”

“Ah!” John exclaimed.

The girls giggled as we slapsticked around each other like the Three Stooges. That was our new default. Being terrified to accidentally touch in front of anyone.

“I was just coming to get you.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” John went to his seat at the table, giving each of the girls an affectionate kiss. “Was caught up with a phone call. Hope you weren’t waiting too long.”

“My eggs are cold and my juice is hot,” Tamara said with a dramatic sigh.

“Good thing today is a topsy-turvy kind of day,” John replied.

I sat back down. “What kind of phone call?”

John’s eyes shot up to mine. “Uhm. Business.”

I pursed my lips. This was a question I would not have asked when I was only his employee. As we’d gotten closer, I felt more entitled to know about his life. Follow-up questions, though, were for a wife. Not a…whatever I was.

It turned out, though, his caginess was not because I asked.

“I have to go out to Plumpton tonight,” John said to Annie and me after sending the girls to the playroom, the three of us sitting around the table over coffee and cigarettes.

“Whatever for?” Annie asked.

He sighed in resignation. “Peter’s insistent it’s just a ‘friendly get-together’. You know the boys, their wives. To which I said I couldn’t possibly be there. But then he pushed and pushed and it became clear quite quickly that this was much more of a…professional engagement.”

Annie poured him another cup of coffee. “You think it’s the same old song and dance, then?” 

“Naturally.” John sipped his cup. “And you know when Peter wants something, he can be very persuasive.”

“That’s a generous description,” I said.

John hid a smile. “Anyway, I won’t be at dinner tonight.”

“Well, we’ll be just fine. As always.” I wanted to reach out and squeeze his wrist, but with Annie’s eyes on us, everything was off-limits.

John sighed. “Not worried about you. Worried about me. They’ll all be their with their wives and they’ll have me cornered into conversation after conversation. Trying to convince me of something we have to do to stay relevant. They convinced me to do the bloody film, they convinced me of the label, and now all that’s left is an album. And that's Pandora's box.”

“You just tell them no as you always have. Simple,” Annie said. Then, she looked between the two of us. “Or you take Julia.”

“What?” I scoffed.

“Well, if he’s worried about being the center of attention, you could completely distract them, couldn’t you?”

Neither John or I spoke.

“Oh. I forgot,” Annie replied drolly. “You’re just friends. ‘Scuse me.” She got up from the table and went to get started on laundry.

John took a long drag on his cigarette. “Well. She’s in fine form isn’t she?”

My mouth was hot. I waited a moment longer, hoping he would ask me to join him. But that’s not what this relationship was. Just friends in the daylight, just lovers in the night. No in between, not since Annie came back. I was getting tired of this light switch flipping off and on. “You’ll be alright tonight?”

John smiled at me. “You worried about me?”

“Hasn’t that been painfully obvious for a while now?”

John eyed me through the smoke of his cigarette. “Aren’t you sweet?”

I blushed.

John stamped out his ciagarette, got up out of his chair, and poured the rest of his coffee into the sink. “It’s nothing I haven’t done before. And besides –” He crossed to the kitchen door and gave me one last look. “I’ve got a trump card over Jimmy if I need to use it.”

“You wouldn’t say anything.” It was a fact. He wouldn’t.

John shrugged. “No. But if anyone’s giving me any guff, I can just imagine you with your knickers ‘round your ankles and that’ll be quite a pleasant distraction.”

My jaw dropped but I had no time to respond before John slipped out of the kitchen to the studio.

We’d been about this affair a little over a month now. And it was honestly getting a bit stale. The flirtatious comments and stolen kisses held less excitement. I was starting to wonder if and when things would change between us, hopefully for the more permanent. However, there wasn’t a lot of time to consider any changes between us when things were so busy. I was preparing the girls for back to school the first week of September and John was attending to business matters more frequently. He was also more “inspired” than he had been in a while. That’s the word he used: inspired. Inspiration often struck at night. Sometimes, he’d let me join him in the studio while he tinkered around. Other times, I’d leave him alone and awaken to him slipping into bed with me. Always in my bed, never in the master.

That night, I hadn’t settled since John had left even though the girls were in good spirits over a dinner of macaroni cheese and a jaunt into town for a sweet treat. I was distracted by thoughts of John at Plumpton. Was anyone asking after me? After everything at Montreux and the way I’d left things with Pat, certainly she’d be inquiring. But men weren’t quite like that. They asked after wives and children, not lovers. Or nannies.

Despite him saying not to wait up for him, I waited with a copy of Lady Chatterly’s Lover in my lap going unread.

Every sound of the creaking house had me going to the door to listen and see if it was his keys or his car.

Hour after hour passed. I felt for sure he would call if he were to stay over. Or maybe he wouldn’t to avoid suspicion.

But then I heard it. The jangling, the cursing, the wrong key in the lock.

I opened the door, revealing John. He fumbled forward and grabbed the doorframe to steady himself. His ring of keys rattled against the door. “Julia! You’re up.”

John’s eyes were wobbly. “Don’t tell me you drove drunk,” I said.

“Not drunk, just a little –” He paused, looking down and swallowing back the slurring cadence of his voice. “Tipsy. Only a little.”

“John…you could have gotten yourself killed.”

John took a step forward and stumbled right into my arms, clinging to my shoulders. “Oh, come now, Julia. It’s just a half hour drive.” He kissed me. I tasted fermented grapes on his lips. “Mm. I’ve missed you.”

I couldn’t help but swoon “It’s only been a few hours.”

“A few is too many hours. Especially when everyone was asking about you.”

Oh, how my heart soared to not be too far from his mind. “Well, I missed you too.”

John smiled, leaning in for another kiss. “Pat wanted to know why you haven’t called.” His breath was hot and stale smelling.

I pulled back. “Your breath is –”

 “Peter wanted to know why you hadn’t come along.”

I dodged his mouth again. “John…”

“And Jimmy asked as innocently as he could how you were doing.”

I laughed. “Cheeky bastard.”

“And I realized I had no idea how to answer that question because I haven’t asked you that in some time.”

I stopped, furrowing my brow in bewilderment. John took advantage of my pause and softly kissed me.

“How are you, Julia?”

“Ehm. Fine.”

John pouted out his lower lip. “Just fine?”

“Is that not a good enough answer?”

John raked his hand through my hair, scratching my scalp. “I want you to be more than fine.”

I leaned my head into his hand. In the night, with him, when nothing was off-limits, I felt more than fine. My questions were starting to outpace my enjoyment.

John went in for another kiss.

“Easy,” I giggled, catching his kiss on my cheek. “I wish you would have stayed the night there than risk driving in this state, John.”

“Even if you had to sleep alone?”

“Even if I had to sleep alone. Yes. Now, let’s get this coat off, hm?”

John wriggled his arms, the sleeves sloughing down his arms. “Goddammit.” He started spinning around, trying to get them off.

“Hold still, I’ll get it,” I giggled.

I followed him around in a circle like he was a toddler until I managed to snag the collar and yank the coat off. “Ough, thank you. Thought I was trapped. Like one of those, uh…” He pointed his fingers together in front of him. “Those finger traps, you know?”

“Goodness, how much have you had? Or what have you had?”

John put his hands on my shoulders, intense concentration folding his brow.

“What is it?”

He took a breath as if to say something important. “I’m very hungry.”

I patted his stomach. “Poor thing. Didn’t you all have anything to eat there?”

“No, Jimmy never has anything. I’m not sure he even has any food in the house let alone for guests.”

“So that’s why you’re so tipsy.”

John rolled his eyes in thought. “Mmmwell, I did have a couple of mints from Pat’s purse.” 

I laughed. “Alright. I’ll make you something. Let’s get your shoes off first.”

John tripped past me to the hall bench, landing with a thud on his backside. “Oof.”

I finagled his keys out of the lock and shut the door quietly. The girls had been asleep for several hours and I didn’t want them waking up and asking questions.

“I’ve only had some wine and grass, by the way,” John sighed, leaning forward to undo the laces on his loafers.

“Really? That’s it? I’d hate to see what literally anything else does to you.”

“Out of practice.”

I scoffed at the idea of drugs and alcohol being considered a practice. “Here, let me help.” I knelt to the ground.

“I can undo my shoes, Julia.”

“You can, but you’re being awfully slow about it.” I waved his hands away. “Let me.”

I liked to make myself useful to him in any small way. It was the best way I knew how to show my affection and perhaps lead him to be unable to picture a life without me. I was a woman so perfect, I’d get on my knees just to take off his shoes.

Clearly, I was getting desperate.

“So tell me. How was it?”

John didn’t reply. His breath was heavy, thick with drink. I could feel his eyes watching me. Waiting for something.

I tapped his calf. “Off.”

He pulled his foot out of the shoe and twiddled his toes in the sock.

“Was it what you thought it was?” I asked.

“Hm?”

“Were they trying to get you to start back on the album?”

“Oh, yes, yes. Yes, they were.”

I undid his other shoe and started to pull at it.

“I think I want to.”

I froze. Certainly I must have misheard him. But when our eyes met, I knew I hadn’t.

“I think I’m ready to get back at it.”

I opened my mouth to respond. All that came out was a sound of hesitation.

“It all sounds rather exciting again. I haven't felt that in a while. But knowing you’re here with the girls, I didn't feel quite as worried. And I’m feeling more –”

“Inspired, yes.”

John smiled in such a way that broke my heart. Like a young boy asking his mother if she was proud of him. He wanted my approval.

If I had been more to him, I might have felt compelled to tell him what I really thought. That the girls weren’t ready. That I wasn’t ready.

But I was only the nanny. What he said was gospel. 

“What do you think?”

I swallowed back my concerns and placed my hands on his thighs, getting up on my knees. “It’s wonderful.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. I’m thrilled for you. I’m sure everyone is…just so thrilled.”

John wrapped my face in his hands and kissed me. “You’re my angel. I would never have felt ready without you.”

“Nonsense.”

“No, really, Julia. Really, really. I…” John was losing cogency by the moment, brain saddled with drink. “I never thought I’d be ready again, but...I just think it’s time. I really do.” The more he spoke, the more assured he was.

“When will you leave?” The word leave stuck in my throat.

“I’ll stick around for the girl’s first day of school and then be off.”

That was barely a week away. “How long?”

“Well, as long as we need. Probably the month. But it’s a short drive. I can visit.”

A month. When the girls were just starting school, Kiera her very first year.

And we…

I had no right to “we”. That was clear now.

I took his hand and squeezed it. “You said you’re hungry. I’ll make you something. What do you want?”

“I’ll eat anything. I’m ravenous.”

I got to my feet, but John did not let go of me. He pulled me down into his lap and buried his face in my neck.

“I’ll have you if you like,” he murmured.

My stomach turned. There was nothing I wanted less at that moment than for him to whisper lewd things in my ear. I squirmed in his arms. “I’m on the rag, John.”

“Mmwhat’s that matter?”

“I’m tired.”

“You won’t have to do anything.”

“I’ve got cramps.”

“It’ll help.”

I finally made it out of his arms and started down toward the kitchen. “Come on and be quiet about it.”

John laid off once we made it into the kitchen and he remembered his empty stomach. He was indeed ravenous, scarfing down a sandwich and babbling on about various events of the night with no regard to chronology or clarity. It didn’t matter. I wasn’t listening. Everything was about to change even more than it already had. And that was all I could focus on.

The next morning, after a fitful night of sleep made even worse by John’s liquor laden snoring, with the girls gathered around the breakfast table and Annie listening as she cleaned, John delivered the news.

“It will only be a few weeks. And I’ll come home as often as I can. And Julia and Annie will be here, of course.”

The girls all looked to me. Their eyes pleaded with me to say something, anything that would validate the way their stomachs had just dropped.

I have regrets in life. For a person to say they haven’t got them is a lie. And sitting at that table with a smile plastered on my face instead of speaking to their fear is one of many regrets I have.

“How does that sound?” John finished with an eager smile.

Tamara spoke, holding her head high, “Good.” She would lead in her appeasing, eldest child way.

“We’ll have a lot of fun,” I said and reached for Jacinda’s hand that was clenching her fork. She looked at me warily. I squeezed harder. “And we’ll talk to your father every day on the phone.”

“Yes, absolutely,” John added. “We’ll have lots of chats and you can tell me everything.”

The girls were silent. They’d been here before. Old hat. Better at this than me.

“And there’s plenty of time before I leave to spend time together. We can do whatever you’d like. Whatever at all.”

“Anything?” Kiera asked. She did not have the skill of conceptualizing the true feeling of John's absence. She would be the hardest to care for.

“Sky is the limit,” John replied. “We’ll start today. Tell me, what would you like to do?”

I couldn’t sit there any longer with my irritated grin. I excused myself from the conversation, saying I needed to use the bathroom. But the moment I left the kitchen, tears filled my eyes.

He couldn’t leave. He shouldn’t. Not when things were so unsure.  

I stumbled to sit at the bottom of the stairs and tried to steady my breathing. A tear rolled down my cheek. I smacked at it like it was a fly. One tear became two, became a deluge. I buried my face in my lap to muffle any sound of my sobs.

Then, I felt a hand on my shoulder. Familiar, yet nowadays so rare. Annie.

She guided me into her arms and held me against her bosom. I wrapped myself around her as if she was my very own mother as she stroked my hair.

“Oh, poor heart…” she murmured. “He’ll be back for you. I promise you that.”

I lifted my head from her lap, finding her foggy gray eyes. Annie cupped my cheek in her hand.

The next thing she said, I’ll never forget.

“But you have to be careful, Julia. This is his life. This will always be his life. The coming and the going. Do you think you can handle that?”

My head knew the answer was “no”. However, my heart was not willing to let him go. Not when we had just begun.

“I can. I can.”

Annie's brow pinched together only momentarily, but enough to let me know she didn't believe me. But instead of carrying on another moment, she kissed my forehead. “Of course, you can.”

tag list: @jimmys-zeppelin, @kari-12-10, @grxtsch, @edal-weis, @ritacaroline, @kyunisixx, @salixfragilis, @rebel-without-a-zeppelin, @jimmypages, @dollyvandal, @cassiana-on-dark-side, @thepinklovewitch, @babyl222, @faisonsunreve, @sastrugie, @seventieswhore, @t4ngerinedr3am, @mayspringcome, @barrettavenue, @foreverandadaydarling, @glimmerofsanity, @matty-heally, @lzep, @jimmysdragonsuit13, @n0quart3r, @larsgoingtomars, @paginate54 (let me know if you’d like to be added 💋)

[maziecrazycloud]

Aisling Cowan’s interview and profile in June 1973 by Music Scene journal. Written by Oliver Thornberry (an unexpected ally) music journalist based in Seattle, Washington.