#Joseph the goverment guy

[mitsybubbles]

I was watching X files, blacked out and I ended up with this

Bonus:

[cheesencrackersinprison]

Joseph typa guy to have the 38-in-one shampoo +conditioner +moisturizer +shaving cream +toothpaste +lube +rust cleaner +mayonnaise +mountain dew +bicicle oil +Laundry detergent +additional hidden-by-goverment all in one shampoo.

Caesar typa guy to try kill him for it

[thatscarletflycatcher]

Top 10 favourite portrayals in Austen adaptations?

Hi!

10. Peter Gale as John Dashwood in Sense and Sensibility 1981

John Dashwood is most often portrayed as a weak, stupid fool designed to get on everyone's nerves, which tends to shift all the blame that belongs to his character upon Fanny. It is not so with this version of the character. It is obvious that he is rather stupid, but he's also greedy, selfish and callous himself, and an all around superficial person you can laugh at and be infuriated by.

9. Joseph Mawle as captain Harville in Persuasion 2007

Another example of a minor character done well, specially meritorious in this case because this adaptation is a tv movie. It is usually a problem that Wentworth's friends come across as a bit of a blur, but in this case, between writing and acting, Harville comes across as intelligent, loyal, amiable, etc, an all around gentleman whose friendship does credit to Wentworth's character.

8. Guy Henry as John Knightley in Emma (ITV) 1996

And another one! There's several "minor character in movie adaptation" in this list, because it is really hard to make a minor character feel "alive" or nuanced when said character is given very little screen time. Guy Henry steals the scene every time he appears in this adaptation. His delivery of the famous Christmas speech is impeccable. He also comes across as a loving father and husband too.

7. Angela Pleasence as Lady Bertram in Mansfield Park 1983

Jemma Redgrave (Lady Bertram in Mansfield Park 2007) is, in my opinion, a mesmerizing actress, one of those beings that are both beautiful and have a very strong scenic presence. I love her version of Lady Bertram, but Angela Pleasence is something else in the role, and somehow specially because her vibe is the strong opposite of JR. Always sweet, delicate, and soft spoken in her roles, her Lady Bertram is hysterical; I don't think there's a scene where she gets a speaking line where I don't laugh, and laughter is so very welcome in a story that can be as heavy and as painful as Mansfield Park. She provides a characterization that fits Austen's (pliable, lazy, dim, perpetually distracted) without making her insufferable.

6. Kate Beckinsale as Emma Woodhouse in Emma (ITV) 1996

Kate Beckinsale has always had queen bee energy, but her youth in this movie softens it enough that we can see how Emma is ultimately a young woman who means well, and means to be just. I don't read Emma as having the finishing school affectations of a Caroline Bingley (something that in my opinion happens in 2020 and to some degree in the Miramax movie); she was raised at home by an indulgent governess and rarely if ever meets other ladies of her rank. But I also do see where people are coming from when they criticize 2009 Emma for being too modern and her way of carrying herself as one that would have been considered vulgar in the regency era, and I think this Emma strikes a happy compromise. Emma has good manners and a sense of rank, but she's also decidedly provincial.

5. Hayley Atwell as Mary Crawford in Mansfield Park 2007

Love, hate or be baffled by this adaptation of Mansfield Park, most people seem to agree that this casting choice was great, and there's reason to it. Atwell is a very talented actress, and despite the script not helping, she brings out both the best and the worst of Mary out, avoiding both the femme fatale and the pure victim we don't talk about the expose my ankle scene

4. Olivia Williams as Jane Fairfax in Emma (ITV) 1996

I feel like Jane Fairfax also suffers from a problem similar to Emma in adaptations. She's made to have these very suspicious vibes and heavy-looking aspect (against the trendy more Heroin Chic look of Palthrow) in the Miramax movie, she's a mousy creature in 2009, and a sort of severe schoolmistress in disguise in 2020 (I'm exaggerating for effect, but for a character that is traced with few, delicate strokes in the novel, she surely gets a lot of rather sharp depictions). Olivia Williams gives a Jane that is very accomplished, but also elegant, understated and reserved. She's someone we can look at with Emma and see as a glaring spotlight on our shortcomings rather than an interloping rival.

3. JJ Feild as Henry Tilney in Northanger Abbey 2007

I feel a bit silly, because rivers of electronic ink have been poured over this beloved interpretation of one of the favorite Austen heroes, so what can I say about this one that hasn't been said before? Most of the choices in this list are unusual, and while I picked them because I think they are spotlight worthy and truly are favorites at the moment, I won't deny there is an element of... isn't it boring to repeat to each other ad nauseam what has been said over and over and over again and almost everyone is already familiar with? So I'll let you all fill in the blanks here.

2. Robert Swann as Colonel Brandon in Sense and Sensibility 1981

This one is very high on the list because Sense and Sensibility is very dear to me, faultless despite all its faults, I obsess over it, and colonel Brandon is a very dear favorite of mine. So I am very picky about it all, and have grown dissatisfied with the 95 adaptation (I was never particularly keen on 2008) despite acknowledging its many merits as a movie and a period piece. One of the most interesting things about this novel to me, is the treatment of strength and power in its male characters -it's not a central theme, but it is certainly there. John Dashwood and John Willoughby are men who have power, and the power society and money give them, they use to vulnerate the women under their care or influence; and they are morally speaking, extremely weak men. By contrast, both Brandon and Edward are men rendered more or less "powerless" in the circumstances presented in the novel, in appearance "emasculated"; they are soft, unimposing, they don't demand attention or space, but underneath all that lays great moral strength, and it's said moral strength to do what is right and helpful that makes them dependable and even admirable.

That's why it is very important to me for Brandon to keep these traits -that softness, melancholy, humility, unobtrusiveness- besides his moments of high dramatic emotion that showcase his affinity to Marianne, and Robert Swann is the closest to this that we have ever gotten (I cannot call it perfect, but it is so very close), where other adaptations, to different degrees, try to "butch up" his character.

Elizabeth Garvie as Elizabeth Bennet in Pride and Prejudice 1980

We have had our good Lizzys and our bad Lizzys and it gets on my nerves every time someone says "[actor] is [character]!" even and maybe specially when I say so myself, but, boy, has it happened very few times in my life that I have seen a performance and been struck by its likeness to the experience of reading the source material, and this is one of those. She's witty and she's lively but she's also young and vulnerable at times. She makes mistakes, she rationalizes, she reflects and changes and grows. She is what Caroline Bingley would call small and brown and not a beauty, but we see with Darcy the charm of her expressive eyes. I'd say if there wasn't any other reason to watch Pride and Prejudice 1980, Elizabeth Garvie's Lizzy would be reason enough and some.

Some honorable mentions:

Felicity Jones as Catherine Morland in Northanger Abbey 2007 and Hattie Morahan as Elinor Dashwood in Sense and Sensibility 2008

I struggled a lot back and forth with the first. It is a really, really good portrayal of Cathy's ingenuity and honesty and JJ Feild's Henry wouldn't have been as good without her to play off of, but I also sincerely couldn't find a spot in between the others for her anywhere either at the top or the bottom of the list. So she remains in limbo without fault of her own, and I apologize to her for this failure.

Now, the second... there's this story Emma Thompson tells in her diary of the making of the 1995 Sense and Sensibility where she talks about sitting on at casting auditions for Elinor, and, unlike other roles, there being many candidates who gave great auditions, and her commenting "this is a country of Elinors". EDIT: it's been called to my attention in replies that it was Ang Lee calling Britain a country of Fannys, as it was Fanny's casting process. I do feel the dictum also applies to Elinors, on othe opposite end of the spectrum. That's probably the main thing keeping Hattie Morahan off the list. She's my favorite Elinor, but I don't think we ever had anything closely resembling a bad Elinor. 81 wasn't directed well, and Emma Thompson was indeed too old for the part, but characterization wise, they were good. Joanna David was really good in 71. And I felt on making this list that the "standing out significantly" was a key aspect. but she was, indeed, a really great Elinor.

Dan Jeanotte as Edward Ferrars in Sense and Sensibility 2024/Bosco Hogan as Edward Ferrars in Sense and Sensibility 1981

These interpretations of Edward are dear to me, and linked by being sort of opposites that complement book!Edward. Bosco Hogan is an unfiltered portrayal of Edward's diffidence, depression, and lack of personal charm even if his manners are polite. Jeanotte's captures an undercurrent of sass and glimpses of the character's deeper feelings and active negative emotions. Each on its own is incomplete, and yet show something essential to the character that is dissimulated or erased in 95 and 08; I wish I could mush them together somehow and have an Edward portrayal I could wholeheartedly love (From Prada to Nada's Edward gets relatively close, but then that is a rather loose adaptation).

Ask me my top5/top10 anything!

[byneddiedingo]

Valerie Hobson and Stewart Granger in Blanche Fury (Marc Allégret, 1948)

Cast: Valerie Hobson, Stewart Granger, Michael Gough, Walter Fitzgerald, Maurice Denham, Sybille Bender, Allan Jeaves, Edward Lexy, Susanne Gibbs, Ernest Jay, Townsend Whitling, J.H. Roberts. Screenplay: Audrey Erskine-Lindop, Cecil McGivern, Hugh Mills, based on a novel by Joseph Shearing. Cinematography: Guy Green, Geoffrey Unsworth. Production design: John Bryan. Film editing: Jack Harris. Music: Clifton Parker. 

Timidity is fatal in moviemaking, and Blanche Fury, whose very title promises turbulent emotions, is a timid movie. It failed at the box office, and its producer, Anthony Havelock-Allan, acknowledged that it didn't turn out the way he wanted, leading to his departure from the producing company, Cineguild, and its eventual collapse. It’s a story, involving as it does an ancient curse, that demands high passion and exquisite villainy, but it gets neither. The key failure is in the protagonists, Blanche Fury (Valerie Hobson) and Philip Thorn (Stewart Granger). They should be modeled on the Macbeths, the very byword for glamorous wickedness. She is an impoverished gentlewoman, née Blanche Fuller, from the wrong side of the family. He is the manager of the country estate of the Fury family, their own kin but from the wrong side of the blanket. Thorn has been scheming to be declared the legitimate heir to the estate, hiring a lawyer to track down any evidence that his father, Adam Fury, actually married his mother. Blanche comes to the estate to serve as governess to the daughter of Laurence Fury (Michael Gough), current heir to the estate and a widower. So you guessed it: Blanche is going to marry the insipid Laurence and fall in love with the virile Thorn, and the two will scheme to get their own hands on the estate. Except that in the portrayal of their schemes, the film goes out of its way to make Blanche and Thorn look better than they are, to justify their wicked ways. Blanche is shown struggling to put up with the harshness of her previous employer, an imperious dowager, and Thorn likewise suffers the abuse and indignity of becoming essentially a servant to a household he believes he should head. Blanche and Thorn should flame, or at least smolder, with passion, but Hobson and Granger strike only the feeblest of sparks, partly because the screenplay doesn't give them enough opportunity to ignite. Much of the film seems to be derived from better costume dramas; there is, for example, a death that comes straight out of Gone With the Wind (Victor Fleming, 1939). There's also a lot of nonsense about marauding gypsies: The film's Roma are the stereotypical fortune tellers, trinket peddlers, and horse thieves. It has to be said that the movie is quite handsomely filmed in Technicolor by two eminent cinematographers, Guy Green, who did the interior scenes, and Geoffrey Unsworth, who shot the lovely exteriors in Staffordshire and Bedfordshire. If the story and the characters had the depth and color of its images, Blanche Fury might have been more than the routine costume drama it is. 

[elbiotipo]

I know it's bad to mock or judge people for their religion but Mormon theology is so balantly "US imperialism but a religion" that it's hard not to do so. I'm not even exaggerating, it's all about how the promised land is in the USA (because Jesus said so, when he came to North America, which it's all in the golden plates that a guy Joseph Smith found, which only he could read and nobody else, this is literally what they believe) and the Mormon church is destined to take over the continent and Africans and Native Americans are cursed by God (they later recanted that position but it's still there in the original writings).

There's also that whole "when you die you become a god like Jesus and get your own planet" and how all humans are concieved by "heavenly fathers" and that God has an harem of goddesses in a distant star and that's where Jesus came from, and I'm just talking about the theology here, I'm not even talking about how controlling and cultish their churches are and how they're insert in so many parts of the US goverment, including a whole state for themseles. Fucked up stuff.

[josefavomjaaga]

Eugène and his Bavarian family

This is the second part of the answer to the question by @mademoisellewhistler​ about Eugène's friends, this time dealing with Eugène's relatives by marriage, the royal family of Bavaria. Thank you once more for the Ask.

(Max Joseph, his second wife Karoline and their five daughters, painting from 1821)

***

Let's start with his spouse, Auguste. In short, she adored him. After having yielded in tears to the raison d'état and sacrificed herself for the fatherland (her own words) at Christmas 1805, she apparently realised rather quickly that she had not made a bad bargain when she gave up her cousin Charles. At the end of May 1806, Eugène for the first time had to leave her for a few days, and she whined about it in letters to anyone who would listen, Napoleon included. (Napoleon must have been quite puzzled by this; things had been very different in his own marriage).

After all, who could have guessed that this totally unacceptable bridegroom would turn out to be such a nice guy?

Napoleon was otherwise not very successful as a marriage broker, but this marriage, which he had coerced, actually turned out to be very happy, and my impression is that he was immensely proud of it. However, he was to suffer as a result of this success, because Auguste soon felt that her Eugène was getting the short end of the stick compared to Napoleon's brothers and brothers-in-law. Napoleon charged him with most of the work, but the royal crowns and honours went to other people. From the time of his divorce from Josephine at the latest, she was not at all well disposed towards Napoleon. But that is another story. Even the loss of his position could not change her affection for Eugène. On the contrary, we have some of the most touching letters between them from this period.

Next, Eugène’s father-in-law, King Max Joseph of Bavaria. In short, he adored him. If Auguste hadn't married Eugène, Max would probably have done it himself, just to keep this guy in the family. This was exactly the son he had always wanted, handsome, polite, cheerful, well-mannered, brave soldier and, above all, French! (And what had fate given him instead? Crown Prince Ludwig.) Eugène and Max Joseph were, in Auguste's opinion, very much alike in many ways; no wonder they got on well together. Max took a lively interest in all things concerning Eugène and Auguste; when Auguste finally gave birth to their long-awaited son in 1810, he wrote from Munich that he had not been able to sleep all night because of his excitement and happiness at the news. Normally I would consider this a rhetorical phrase; in Max's case it is probably to be understood literally.

The relationship between Eugène and Max Joseph seems, as far as can be deduced from the letters, to have been more family-like than that between Eugène and Napoleon. Towards Napoleon, Eugène always maintains a very submissive, respectful tone; Napoleon is always "Sire" and "Votre Majesté". But he addresses Max as "Mon bon père", my good father, and in his letters to Auguste he likes to speak of "notre père", our father, referring to Max.

I have already written about the negotiations that took place between the two of them in 1813/4, even though they belonged to opposing camps.

They also quarrelled - once, over Tyrol. Max Joseph did not agree at all with a proclamation that Eugène had published, and wrote to him about it. Whereupon Eugène wrote to his wife almost in despair, oh crap, crap, crap! Now I've quarrelled with your father over this thing, I hate this Tyrol!

(The disgruntlement did not last long.)

Eugène's early death hit Max Joseph hard. According to Planat de la Faye, he never afterwards referred to his son-in-law as anything other than "mon pauvre Eugène", my poor Eugène.

Crown Prince Ludwig. In short, he hated him. Or possibly not. Unless he did. In any case, he hated everything French and in particular everything connected with Napoleon, which at least at times certainly included his French brother-in-law. He got so upset about his sister's forced marriage to the unworthy Beauharnais that he wrote a play about the matter over the next few years (a tragedy, some of it being unintentionally funny if you know the actual story).

Of course, the guy, on the other hand, was very very nice. But that didn't change the fact that he was French. "Of all the Frenchmen, Eugène is probably still the best," Ludwig is supposed to have said. This was probably the greatest compliment Eugène could expect from his brother-in-law.

In part, Ludwig's dislike may have been jealousy. Ludwig and Max Joseph did not get on at all; Ludwig probably feared that Eugène would replace him with Max. Napoleon did not make matters any better when he occasionally pointed out that crown princes could also be shot for disobedience and that, after all, Eugène's children were also grandchildren of the Bavarian king.

On top of that, Max Joseph and Auguste had the idea that good-natured Eugène should speak to Ludwig's conscience from time to time about Ludwig’s attitude towards the French Emperor, his frequenting of dubious taverns and the good behaviour of crown princes in general. Eugène did it, as he did almost everything he was told, but it did not go down well at all with Ludwig.

When Eugène finally ended up in Bavaria after the fall of the Empire, the rivalry escalated to the point where Louis wanted to duel him (he was quick with duel demands - he knew full well that someone would always stop it). He prevented Eugène's children from becoming part of the royal family, and it almost came to the point that Eugène and his family would have left Bavaria again. In the end, Auguste wrote a bitterly blunt letter to her brother, and they came to an arrangement.

And, as I said, Eugène was a terribly nice guy. Besides, he had bought a small castle outside Munich, in Ismaning, at just the right distance from town to ride out there in the morning and then have breakfast with sister, brother-in-law and nieces and nephews ... which Ludwig, when he was in Munich, did regularly. Apparently his aversion to all things French did not extend to breakfast.

Queen Karoline of Bavaria, second wife to Max Joseph and stepmother to Auguste. Which I guess makes her Eugène’s stepmother-in-law? In short: Undecided. In theory, she couldn't stand Eugène. In theory, she never forgave him for stealing her little brother's bride. In theory, she was forbidden to like the guy if only because he was Napoleon's stepson and she didn't like Napoleon, being sister to the tsarina. But in practice it was always so hard to keep up that dislike once you met him, with him being so damn charming.

When Eugène came to Bavaria, relations were quite strained, especially between Auguste and Karoline. On the other hand, Eugène simply became part of the family. There are touching letters from Karoline about Eugène's death, in which she describes in detail to her mother how he was no longer able to speak at the end and took her hand and put it on his heart to say goodbye ... when reading this, one has the feeling that she was truely very touched and that she really had to get something off her chest.

By the way, there was a second source of conflict between Eugène and Karoline: Karoline's sister, Friederike, was the wife of ousted King Gustav of Sweden. And Eugène married his daughter to the son of the "usurper" Bernadotte. Karoline was not happy about this.

Auguste’s younger brother, Karl Theodor, called »Charles« in the family. He was still a child when Auguste left for Italy but seems to have liked Eugène from the beginning. In spring 1813, when Eugène was at the head of what was left of the Grande Armée, Karl Theodor wrote him an urgent letter and begged that Eugène would call him to the army as his ADC. Eugène, having his hands full with generals who turned blind and deaf with shock when orders came in, and soldiers who broke down in fear at the word "cossack", wrote back politely but firmly that now was a very bad time. Maybe later, when war resembled war again.

During his time in Bavaria, Karl Theodor was one of Eugène's friends in Munich, but he was only the second son, with future King Ludwig calling the shots. Eugène made him executor of his will.

How Auguste's younger sister Charlotte, the family's ugly duckling, viewed Eugène, I don't know, but she seems to have been more on Ludwig's side. Auguste's younger half-sisters, born of Max Joseph's marriage to Karoline, were close in age to Eugène's children, with whom they often played together. It is said of Ludwig's eldest son, the future King Maximilian II, that he always retained very positive memories of his French uncle, especially because Eugène was the exact opposite of the authoritarian, stubborn and stingy Ludwig.

And then there is somebody who was not officially part of the family, but factually: Auguste's old governess, Madame de Wurmb, called "Machère", whom Eugène had, so to speak, co-wed. "Machère" had substituted for Auguste's mother, deceased at an early age, and meant a great deal to her. Throughout her life, she kept a strict regime over her former pupil and, since she accompanied Auguste to Italy as a lady-in-waiting, also over Auguste's husband. Planat de la Faye, who met her in 1822, gives a rather amusing description of her. She had still been brought up in "Ancien Régime" Paris and lived entirely according to its principles (or what she regarded as its principles). When, after the end of the Empire, Eugène and Auguste travelled to Baden with very little luggage and entourage for financial reasons, and Eugène helped his wife into the carriage himself for want of a servant, the world came to an end for Madame de Wurmb ...

"Machère" probably never really forgave Eugène for daring, as a mere Beauharnais, to marry "her" princess. But she had to acknowledge that he made Auguste very happy, and that most of the time he really did behave as if he were a real prince (or what Machère regarded as one).

Eugène's biographer Adalbert of Bavaria suggests that Napoleon advised Eugène upon his marriage to first take the old governess to Italy and then throw her out as soon as possible. Which, of course, good-natured Eugène never did. There is a very funny anecdote about the first meeting between "Machère" and Napoleon, which Napoleon himself reported and which I will reproduce here soon anyway. In his letters to Auguste, Napoleon sent greetings to the lady every now and then - or maybe that was his way of finding out if the old dragon was still there and if it was already safe to visit Italy...

[thiswasinevitableid]

“On the Edge”verse - Stern and Barclay act out a scene where Stern, trying to hide that he’s a Sylph, shows up in Barclay’s, a famous cryptozoologist who is trying to find and document the werewolf, room late at night to intimidate him into leaving town. He tells Barclay that he is an FBI agent undercover at the lodge and that having any kind of reporter could jeopardize his mission. Barclay tells him to fuck off and things get heated, Stern accidentally gets revealed as the werewolf and tries another method of intimidation. NSFW, please

Here you go! For folks who want to know, On the Edge is my reverse AU. You can read this as a standalone as long as you know that Barclay is a human cook and amateur cryptid hunter and Stern is a Sylph.  Barclay is trans, and has had top surgery and phallo.

“What would you’ve done if I made it back and shared that footage I got of you?” Barclay asks from his favorite spot in the world; laid out on his boyfriends furry torso, watching him try to do a crossword puzzle without tearing the pages on his claws.

“After Mama read me the riot act, I would have tried to get it back from you before you could put it online.”

“You realize it woulda looked hella suspicious if the Lodge Manager was suddenly trying to get me to turn over my camera. Or, like, snooping in my room.”

“Hmmm” Joseph sets the puzzle book and pen aside, scratching Barclay’s back lightly through his shirt, “I would have come up with a cover story. I’m not bad at those.”

“Babe, I love you, but you’re one of the worst actors I’ve ever met.”

“That’s in roleplay. Cover stories are different; I’m me, but in a different context. I could have pretended to be an FBI Agent, for instance.”

“Oh fuck that’s hot.” Barclay groans.

“Yeah? In that case, big guy,  I have an idea...”

----------------------------------------------------------

Joseph adjusts his tie, smooths down his lapels, and knocks on the door. A click-thunk of the deadbolt and it swings open, revealing his favorite Lodge resident. Barclay is a lumberjack pin-up come to life, complete with short beard and a fondness for plaid. He’s gentle to a fault, an amazing cook, and taller than Stern (when he’s human, of course). His size features frequently in the unhelpful part of Sterns brain dedicated to fantasizing about his future mate.

“Hey, you’re up kinda late.” Barclay smiles at him. His auburn hair is tied back, his thick, blue bathrobe tied tight, and for a moment Stern is tongue-tied.

When he collects himself, he crowds the other man back into the room, “It’s because something important has come up.”

“Do you have a sec before you get into it? I have something I gotta show you. You know how I’ve been on the trail of those werewolf sightings? I finally got lucky and got footage of it. An honest to god werewolf, Joseph, can you believe it.”

“Yes” he says, grimly, “that’s why I’m here. I, um, haven’t been honest with you. I’m not just the manager here at Amnesty. I’m an FBI agent with the department of Unexplained Phenomenon, and I’ve been investigating the strange goings-on in Kepler for years.”

“But...but that’s great! We can work together, with my footage and your resources, we could finally prove the existence of cryptids.” Barclay grabs his arms, beaming.

Joseph shrugs them off, “No, it’s not good at all. Barclay, I’ve dedicated my life to this mission. Any kind of publicity could put it all at risk, and that is not something I will allow. Which is why” he holds out his hand, “you’re going to give me the footage.”

Barclay balks, “Like hell I am. You wanna talk about life’s work? Half my profession thinks I’m crazy, and I’ve spent years wandering around every fucking backwater town, chasing every half-baked, wild-ass lead in hopes of finding the truth. This footage is it, it’s everything I’ve worked for, and no one is taking it from me.”

“If you don’t hand it over, I’ll charge you with interference in goverment business.”

“Fucking try it.” Barclay brings them toe to toe, glaring down at him, “the man in black shit’s never scared me.”

“It should. I know you’ve heard theories about what we do to people who know too much, and some of them are true.”

“I thought you were better than this, Joseph. I thought you were on my side.”

“I could be, if you cooperate. I don’t want to do this, any of this, but my mission is to valuable to let you post that video.”

Brown eyes dart towards the cookie-cutter dresser, the same one in each room of the lodge. Atop this one is a SIM card. Joseph is just a little faster than Barclay, grabbing the card the instant before the taller man grabs him.

“Get your hands off me!’

“Give me back my fucking stuff!”

Joseph pushes off the dresser, nearly sending them both to the floor, “No, I have it, it’s goverment property now!”

A laugh that Barclay just manages to cover with a growl, “That’s not how that works, asshole!”

“Face facts Barclay, the footage is mine, and I’m going to get rid of it.”

Barclay grabs his wrist, twisting it to try and free the card, “Over my dead fucking body!”

Joseph shoves him away, discovers two things at once: Barclay has the card, and his enchanted bracelet is on the floor. The suit rips as reality shifts, black fabric hanging, tattered, as the tie snaps and drops onto the rug.

“Hah!” Barclay’s eyes are on the plastic square in his palm. It’s not until he hears the growl that he glances up, “fuck!”

“Over your dead body?” Joseph bares his teeth, “that can be arranged.”

Barclay stumbles backwards, too focused on the werewolf stalking towards him to watch his step. His knees catch the edge of the bed and he falls onto it with a yelp. Keeps crawling, as if the headboard and wall will just dissolve when he hits them, rather than trap him. Or maybe he’s planning to hide under the cover. Joseph doesn’t really care, his plan allows for plenty of contingencies.

“You, you’re the one. The wolf in the video.”

“That’s right.” He reaches out, plucks the card from Barclays fingers. Waits until he’s watching to snap it in half and toss the pieces into the trash, “hmm, that was much easier. Maybe I should have started with this plan. I avoided it due to the downsides.”

“Like?” Barclay is gradually flattening against the headboard.

“Like the fact that if you know the whole truth about me, I can’t let you leave.”

“Joseph, please-”

“I didn’t want to do this, but you didn’t leave me much choice.”

“I’m gonna call for help, someone’ll hear me-”

“Everyone at the Lodge knows the truth about me, knows I’m getting that footage tonight. They won’t come to help you, not matter what they hear through the walls.” He snarls, grabbing Barclay’s ankles and yanking him flat on his back. Fear spikes though the air, sharp and acid in his nose. The sweeter scent of arousal floats behind it. He ignores that part; it must be coming from another room.

“I’ll be quick, I promise.”

Barclay pulls a pillow protectively across his chest, “Wait! T-there’s a duplicate if the video. I burned it to another drive just in case. If, if you kill me, it’ll always be out there, waiting for someone to find it.”

Joseph cocks his head, “That does put us at an impasse.”

“If you promise not to hurt me, I’ll give it to you AHgod” He whimpers as Joseph crawls up his body, nudging the robe open with his snout as he scents the arousal once more. It’s undoubtedly coming from the man under him.

He drags his tongue up Barclay’s throat, grips his chin to force him to keep it exposed as he snuffles and licks at it, “That’s fair. And I have a further, um, incentive for you. You” he growls low in Barclay’s ear, chuckles when he squirms, “monsterfucker.”

“Do you mean you’ll, uh” his voice creeps up an octave, “fuck me? Like, fuck me fuck me?”

“Yes, needy boy, it does.”

“Drive’s in the bottom of my suitcase, in the trick bottom of the black pair of boots.”

Joseph laughs, “That didn’t take long. I’ll deal with it later.” He flips Barclay onto his stomach with ease, “right now I have a handsome human to handle.”

“Yes, fuck, please handle me babe, please. Wanted you to touch me for months.” Barclay flails his robe off.

“Yeah?” Joseph ghosts his claws up and down the human’s sides, “does the werewolf thing add to that desire?”

“Yes” the blush spreads up his back, “I just, I want you so bad Joseph, in any form, every form.”

“Was that what you were thinking of when you put this in?” Joseph presses his thumb down on the blue, silicone plug nestled in Barclays’ ass.

“Look, jerking off to you is an important part of my nightly routine.”

“I do love a man with a schedule.” He squeezes his ass in both hands, admiring the pinpricks of red from his claws. Barclay whimpers, pushes his hips up as Joseph goes for another handful.

“I see someone likes to be submissive.”

“Fuck yeah, wanna be held down, roughed up, wanna do what I’m told.”

“Oh? Does this fit the bill?” Joseph blankets himself over the human, letting him feel how he dwarfs him.

“Uhhuh, fuck, fuck that’s so fucking hot.”

The werewolf noses the base of his neck, draws his lips back to bite it. It doesn’t break the skin, but it clearly communicates that Barclay cannot get away unless Joseph allows it. It’s rude, an inelegant sign of dominance over a partner, but Barclay has not been well-behaved tonight. And from the sounds spilling out of his chest, he likes the threat of teeth on tender skin.

Joseph rolls his hips, grinding until his cock perks up. As soon as it bumps him, Barclay reaches off the side of the bed, retrieving a bottle of lube from the bedside table.

“Glad you have a large bottle. We’re going to need it.” He works the plug out, hums approvingly when he finds it on the larger end. Dumps a handful of lube onto his cock, trying not to think of how much laundry this will all generate.

“On your knees and raise your hips. Good boy.” He works the tip in, Barclay moaning the entire time.

“More, I want more, please” the human pushes back, cried out in delight when he gains another inch. Joseph is keenly aware that his tongue is starting to loll out as he watches Barclay spread wider and wider on his cock. It’s been years since he fucked a human this way, and the tight warmth has him panting in no time.

“So, should I, ahfuck, expect your next book to include a chapter on the mating habits of werewolves?” Joseph teases, pulling Barclay’s hair free of it’s tie so he can bury is face in it, scenting him in new ways.

“Y-yeah but it’s, it’s gonnaFUCK, be like a fucking sentence, max, because the other is too busy getting his brains fucked out to research.”

“Why not do both at once?” He grips the human tight, hauls him upright and turns them ninety degrees to face the mirror on the closet door. Barclay takes one look at the clawed hands grabbing his chest and waist and tips his head back to moan loud enough that Joseph’s ears perk up. The fact he just slid another inch down his cock may also be a factor.

“Now” Joseph skates a hand down his tan, hairy belly, stops to tease his cock once before continuing lower, tilting the human so he can clearly see the cock thrusting into him, “you’ll notice that you’re hitting the protoknot. In many instances of sex, it’s the stopping point.”

“Don’t wanna stop, wanna take it” Barclay paws at Josephs arms and thighs.

“I thought you might say that.  I suggest bracing your hands on mine so you’re upper body isn’t thrown about.” He plants his hands on Barclays hips, waits for the human to follow the suggestion. Slowly, he puts more and more downward pressure on that sturdy yet oh-so-fragile frame. At the same time, he pushes his hips up, wiggling them back and forth, side to side, so the knot works in incrementally. Barclay gasps and grunts, holding him so tight that he feels his fingernails through the fur on his hands.

He gives a sharp growl and a final thrust, and bottoms out.

“AHnnnngod”

“I agree.” He dips his head, nipping and mouthing at Barclay’s shoulders. Then he grins, “if you want a sense of scale, look down.”

Barclay does, whimpering when he sees the outline of Josephs’ cock inside him.

“For such a sweet little mate, you can take an awful lot.” He starts on a slow tempo, Barclay reaching down to touch his lower belly.

“Holy shit, that’s wild. I wonder if--uh, b-babe? What’s happening.”

Joseph kisses his cheek, “Remember how I called it a protoknot?”

“It’s gonna get bigger?” There’s a fine line between excitement and hysteria, and Barclays’ voice is riding it.

“Yes. This is a reward, but it’s also insurance against you running off an revealing my existence. Keeping you stuck on my cock all night is an excellent way to keep you from acting on any second thoughts. Mmmmm, oh that’s good” he speeds up, the human bouncing in his lap, “I cannot wait to fill you up. It’s going to take all night and it’s going to be great, you’ll be covered in my marks, stuffed full of my cum, no one will doubt you’re mine.”

Barclay snickers, “Getting territorial on me, blue eyes?”

In reply, Joseph sinks his teeth into his shoulder, the thought of anyone else daring to touch his human, his Barclay, his mate, his love, driving his hips faster and faster until he spills into him, leaving no doubt as to who his ass belongs to.

“FUCKfuck, babe, baby, ohgod” Barclay wriggles, then throws his head back as Joseph closes his fingers around his cock. Turning his face leaves it half-buried in black fur, his breath warm on Josephs upper chest, “yes, that feels so good, please don’t stop, wanna cum, wanna cum on your cock.”

Joseph kisses his head, “You will, good boy, I promise.” He works him over with loving efficiency, growing more protective and affectionate with every moan and whine that Barclay tries to muffle in his chest. When the human cums he bears down and tightens, which Joseph’s body takes as a cue. He cums again as he strokes Barclay through his climax, letting out a satisfied growl at the fact he can already feel his cum starting to pool around the head of his cock.

“You’re so small” He coos, caressing every part of the human he can reach, “you’re already straining to take it. I wonder what state you’ll be in tomorrow morning.”

Barclay raises a clawed hand to his lips, kissing it before rubbing his cheek into the palm, “Only one way to find out.”

---------------------------------------------

“Barclay? Are you with me, big guy?” Human fingers card the hair from his face as warm lips kiss his forehead and nose.

“Uh huh. When did I finally conk out?”

“Around three in the morning. I was able to pull out about a half hour later. I toweled off the worst of the mess, but you’ll probably still want a bath.”

He opens his eyes; Joseph, in his X-Files pajamas, smiles at him and then nestles down into his arms, “I already started coffee, and I got you those granola bars you like so you’re not going into your shift too hungry.”

“Thanks, babe.”

”Are you sore?”

“Sitting might be a challenge today, but it was worth it.”

“Need anything?”

He tips his boyfriend’s chin up to kiss him, “Nope. Got what I need right here.”

[araingirl]

Got another medieval AU concept (Help me!!!!!)

So guys, I’ve got another KaiHil medieval AU concept: A story of love, sins and vengeance among a king, a priest and a bayadere (Temple dancer/performer). Bascially, Kai (The king) will have two step-brothers and a step-sister (His father would have two queens; Kai will be the son of the elder and others will be the children of the younger). So...the question is: Who’ll be Kai’s step-bros and sis? 

Set 1: 

Tyson (The immediate/crown-prince), Mariam and Joseph. 

In this case, I don’t think I’ll be able to pair Tyson with Dew (My OC who is reserved only for Tyson, my readers know them well) because the crown-prince’s wife will be a bit haughty (But goodhearted eventually; if Tyson becomes Kai’s step-bro, I’d need the OC of @cutetyhil-blog :P). MaxMari romance will bloom and TalaJul will doom (They have bad luck in Immolation and Kingdom too, mind it guys). 

Set 2: 

Tala (The immediate/crown-prince), Dew and Daichi. 

Here, Tyson will be paired with Dew for sure. No sad things for TalaJul but for MaxMari....*Sighs*. 

Also....I wanna give Miss Kincaid a role. Which role should I give to her? The head-bayadere of the temple of Dragoon as well as a guardian of Hilary? Or the governess as well as a motherly figure to prince Kai Hiwatari? 

Pairings: KaiHil, TalaJul, Tysew, MaxMari (My top four favorite pairings). 

@seafoamnightfall @emiramira @cutetyhil-blog @velox-the-knight @shashreetha @stroblitzfalborg Guys, I’m specially wanting to know from you. Please tell which set is more likable. And also tell me what you think about the plot :P 

[margridarnauds]

4 & 5

Mandatory disclaimer: I'm not a trained historian and I'm an anglophone researcher, which means that my access to materials is HEAVILY restricted. As a result, I can't in good conscience stand behind EVERYTHING I say because, simply put, there might be another source out there.

But! Let's talk Arch-Thot Louis-Philippe Joseph d'Orléans, aka Philippe Égalité

4. In your eyes, what is their biggest strength?

He was a very brave man. We have accounts of him, say, going DEEP into coal pits to see for himself what conditions were like. He was THERE with the Montgolfier brothers with one of their experiments with balloon flights, taking off from Saint Cloud on the 14 August, 1784, and actually having to poke holes in the balloon itself when they rose too high. He jumped into a stream in order to save a groom of his who’d fallen in. You get this idea that he was very much a hands on type of guy who was constantly trying to be IN the action. 

On top of the physical bravery, this was also a man who was willing to openly defy the royal family, which sometimes came back to bite him in the ass. During the séance royal in November 1788, he said “That’s illegal” to Louis XVI in 1788, causing him to be exiled to one of his chateaus for 5 months sans visitors (Louis’ response was, naturally, “It is legal because I want it”). He was an openly liberal member of the royal family who supported the Revolution and, when the time came, took off his old surname and replaced it with “Philippe Égalite.” I won’t say that he did well with EVERYTHING, he was, fundamentally, a ROYAL trying to be a Good Revolutionary and sometimes I think he fell back on his 18th century patriarchal BS, but he had some really, really solid moments. You’ve got to respect the ATTEMPT at least. 

5. What is the most ridiculous statement on them you have ever read?

Like. Pretty much 90% of the currently existing secondary material on him. I have many Thinky Thoughts on why this is and why people still...never seem to have made their peace with him, but suffice it to say, I think that we’re still a long way from it as far as the historiography’s concerned, especially in terms of pop culture. The Royalists, I don’t think, have ever really forgiven him for not walking in line with them, and the Anglo-American take on the French Revolution is, historically, heavily pro-Royalist. 

But, let’s start with this page. Now, SOME things here are technically true. So yay. But it ALSO GAVE US. 

His son was so disgusted over his vote for King Louis' execution (for treason) that he abandoned him and defected from France, taking his brother (who was imprisoned with Philippe) and sister (who Philippe sent off with her governess, Madame de Genlis, and tried to take back before her name was added to the list of émigrés, though he was too late and so ended up ordering her to remain abroad for her own safety) with him. (Which is funny given that Louis-Philippe would devote considerable page time in his memoirs to trying to demonstrate his father’s innocence.)

He is strongly believed to have instigated the October march on Versailles by deliberately withholding grain from the starving peasants (because that’s in-character for the man who sheltered the poor from the cold in the winter of 1788), and by paying people to march on the Palace at Versailles.

He claimed to have been in Paris at the time of the march (Because he was), although (Biased) witnesses claimed to have seen him lead the angry mob chanting 'long live our King d'Orleans' to the Queen's bedroom (Funny that he doesn’t pop up in any of the eyewitness accounts of what went down in the Queen’s bedroom). Some accounts (Who?) also claim he was dressed as a woman. 

He was a sadist who, when the Princess Lamballe's head was brought to his window on a pike, merely stood up, looked at it, and sat back down to his supper.

Whatever ambitions he had to seize power went unrealized when he was arrested and executed by Revolutionaries along with the remaining Bourbons under suspicion (*cough* karma *cough*) (If you dare to hope that the world might be a better place, you deserve to be ripped away from your family and then executed. Sympathy for victims of the Terror is only to be extended to. Like. Royalists.).

Some of this, like the Versailles thing, are pretty much. Recognized as being false. Like, WHATEVER role he MIGHT have had in organizing the March (which...I honestly don’t like that line of thinking because it really does take the agency away from the women who DID PARTICIPATE, and ties into the usual Royalist take that the people were incapable of independently rising up, there HAD to be an evil, aristocratic genius on the sidelines), he was not IN THE AREA. We have multiple ACCOUNTS of him not being in the area at the time. 

The Lamballe thing...MIGHT be true, I have read the accounts of that one, though Grace Dalrymple Elliot, who renounced her friendship to him after he voted for Louis XVI’s death, said that he cared a great deal for Lamballe and would have done anything in his power to save her. The truth is so muddied at this point and the Legende Noir around Philippe is so thick that I can’t be sold one way or another. I really, really don’t think that he was a sadist, though, regardless. That goes against everything that I’ve read about the man, every fact that we do HAVE about him. And, at the risk of being an apologist...IF the story is true, and that’s a BIG if that I’m not willing to concede, people can react very differently to shocking events. Sometimes, you see something horrific, go about your business, and then freak out three hours later. 

And, IF he had any ambitions to the throne, which...again...we can’t KNOW for certain, I don’t know if the stray thought entered his mind at 2 AM one day, but IF he did, he went about it in a very, very stupid way. And that’s possible! But what I firmly believe, given the evidence and his own personal statements, is that he genuinely did NOT want the throne and would have been perfectly happy as an English squire with a passion for horse racing. Every single time allegations about him wanting power came up, rather than openly working to unseat Louis, he tried to go off somewhere else. At one point, he allegedly wanted to go to America, but his longstanding favorite, Madame de Buffon, said that she wouldn’t go with him because, essentially, she could never take the blame for when he came to regret it. After Lafayette pinned him over the March to Versailles, rather than take the accusations head on, which MIGHT have salvaged his reputation, he went into voluntary exile in England much, much longer than he needed to. 

And, of course, there’s the various and other rumors spread about him via the various pamphlets that were written about him. One of the longstanding favorites, dating back to his own lifetime, is of course that he sexed the Prince de Lamballe to death. (The claim is that he wanted the Prince’s fortune and, since he was married to the Prince’s sister, he hoped to get the inheritance via her, so he had the Prince sleep around in hopes of getting the venereal disease that would eventually end the Prince’s life. Though there is also a distinct feeling of Dorian Gray and Lord Henry in the descriptions of the Prince’s “seduction,” he was not by HIMSELF accused of personally sexing him to death. It was a sexing him to death by proxy, really. Even Talleyrand thought it was ridiculous, with the real explanation simply being that the two of them were thots.) 

Orléans’ sex life in general tends to be amped up to 11, even past the thottiness that can be confirmed via actual sources. Like, it tends to become one more aspect of his “villainy,” with the “wholesome” world of the Royal Family and the more conservative, domestic family values that they exemplify  being contrasted with the Depraved Duc D’Orléans and his various and assorted fuck-a-thons (”Yeah, it’s fine to support an oppressive class system that heavily punishes any transgression from the social norm, whether in terms of sexuality, gender, religion, or just. Saying something like “I think people should have human rights.” But I for one draw a line at fucking between multiple consenting parties.”). Pamphlet writers really stumbled over one another trying to outdo themselves with describing the scenes in lurid detail, like they’re fascinated by it but they’re also repulsed at the same time. 

Really...there are just. Too many ridiculous takes, too little time. 

[books0977]

The Reading Lesson. Seymour Joseph Guy (American, 1824-1910). Oil on canvas laid down on board.

While little known today, the English-born Guy was celebrated in his lifetime for his charming and technically accomplished genre paintings of childhood. In this work, the artist depicts children being instructed by a governess or teacher. In the foreground, the young girl is receiving a reading lesson.

[claudia1829things]

"BLANCHE FURY" (1948) Review

"BLANCHE FURY" (1948) Review I suspect that many fans of costume dramas would be fascinated to know about the series of period dramas released by the British film industry during the post-World War II era. A good number of those films were released by a British film studio known as Gainsborough Pictures. But not all of them were released through this particular studio. Some were released through other studios or production companies . . . like the 1948 period drama, "BLANCHE FURY".

Based upon the 1939 novel written by Marjorie Bowen (under the pseudonym of Joseph Stearling), "BLANCHE FURY" told the story of two lovers during the 1850s, who become embroiled in adultery, greed and murder. More importantly, Bowen's novel and the movie was inspired by a real-life case involving the 1848 murder of an estate owner and his adult by a tenant farmer trying to stave off a bad mortgage. The story surrounding "BLANCHE FURY" proved to be a bit more complicated and melodramatic. The story begins with a beautiful, impoverished gentlewoman named Blanche Fuller, who is forced to serve as a domestic companion for a wealthy woman (think of Joan Fontaine in 1940's "REBECCA"). To Blanche's great relief, she receives an invitation to become governess for the granddaughter of her rich uncle Simon Fuller. Upon her arrival, Blanche becomes romantically involved with Simon's only son, the weak-willed Laurence. She learns that her uncle and cousin have assumed the surname of Fury, which belonged to the previous owner of the estate, the late Adam Fury. She also meets Philip Thorn, Adam's illegitimate son, who serves as the estate's head groom and resents Simon and Laurence's possession of his father's estate. Blanche decides to marry Laurence for the sake of security and wealth but becomes dissatisfied with her marriage. She and Philip also fall in love and quickly drifts into a sexual affair. Longing for possession of both Blanche and the estate, Philip drags Blanche into a plot that leads to double murder. The first thing that caught my attention about "BLANCHE FURY" that it is a beautiful looking film. Producer Anthony Havelock-Allan, director Marc Allégret and cinematographers Guy Green and Geoffrey Unsworth really made use of the Technicolor process. And if I must be brutally honest, I could say the same for the costumes designed by Sophie Devine, who created some colorful outfits for leading lady, Valerie Hobson, as shown below:

Despite my admiration for the photography and costumes, I was not that impressed by the set designs and especially the production designs. Well . . . let me take some of that back. I had no problems with John Bryan's production designs for scenes featured in smaller rooms - Philip's quarters and a private bedroom or two. But I was not impressed by scenes in large rooms - you know, the drawing room, foyer or library of the Fury manor. Quite frankly, these "sets" resembled badly made matte paintings instead of lived-in rooms. Lifeless. An individual museum room with a collection of paintings looked warmer. But I certainly had no problems with the story. The latter begins with Blanche in the process of giving birth before it flashes back to her days as a paid companion. Thanks to the screenplay written by Audrey Erskine-Lindop and Cecil McGivern, audiences received several glimpses into Blanche's mindset - her frustrations as a paid companion and later, as wife to the weak-willed Laurence Fury; her sexual fascination with Philip Thorn and the later realization that she had bitten off more than she could chew, thanks to Philip's murder plot. For me, the most memorable scene in the entire movie featured an argument between the unfaithful Blanche and the arrogant Laurence, who had insisted that she interrupt her rest to entertain a guest who had arrived with him and his father in the late evening. Blanche's blatant refusal to blindly obey her husband nearly caused me to stand up and cheer, despite the fact she had spent the last 24 hours cheating on him with Philip. I had an easier time understanding Blanche than I did Philip. He seemed to have this attitude that the Fury estate should have been given to him, despite being born on the wrong side of the blanket. And the fact that he was willing to destroy the Fuller-Fury clan (with the exception of Blanche), including Laurence's young daughter, left me feeling cold toward him in the end. "BLANCHE FURY" featured some very solid performances, despite a penchant for some of the cast to nearly drift into slightly hammy acting. I could never accuse Valerie Hobson of overacting. Mind you, her performance did not exactly knock my socks off, but I thought she did a pretty job. Her best moments proved to be the Blanche/Laurence quarrel and Blanche's horror over Philip's arrogant behavior following the deaths of her husband and father-in-law. I had recently come across an article suggesting that Stewart Granger was not exactly the most skillful actor. Recalling his performances in movies like "KING SOLOMON'S MINES", "SCARAMOUCHE" and "BHOWANI JUNCTION", I found this opinion hard to accept. But a part of me could not help but noticed that his performance in "BLANCHE FURY" - especially in the movie's last half hour - threatened to wander in the realm of the melodramatic. Otherwise, I found his performance satisfactory. Michael Gough fared just as well as Miss Hobson as Laurence Fury - especially in the memorable Blanche/Laurence quarrel scene. Though, there were moments when I thought he would go a little overboard. Sybille Binder, who portrayed the Furys' stoic housekeeper Louisa was just that . . . stoic. I thought she would play a major role in the movie. But in the end, I felt that her time was more or less wasted. Susanne Gibbs made a very charming Lavinia Fury, Laurence's young daughter. But I thought the best performance came from Walter Fitzgerald, who portrayed Blanche's no-nonsense uncle (later, father-in-law) Simon Fury. I found it rather interesting that Fitzgerald could portray such a blunt character with great subtlety. He seemed to be the only cast member who did not threatened to become melodramatic. I may have had a few problems with "BLANCHE FURY". But if I must be honest, I found it entertaining and rather satisfying. Thanks to Marc Allégret's direction, Audrey Erskine-Lindop and Cecil McGivern's entertaining screenplay, Guy Green and Geoffrey Unsworth's photography and a solid cast led by Valerie Hobson and Stewart Granger, I found the movie more than satisfying.