Uncharacteristic angry rant post incoming
The absolute WORST place for spam bots/accounts to be allowed to flourish is an online writing website. There is nothing worse than logging into your account and seeing a rare notification that someone interacted with your story only to find out that it was just a spam bot/account advertising some random bullshit service or liking your work to get your attention.
In a time when writers are starved for someone to interact with their work or show a little appreciation for something they wrote and had the courage to share, it is absolutely soul crushing to get your hopes up only to find out the only “person” that wants to click on your story is a dumbass spam account.
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I never actually watched the video/clip in question where colorist remarks were made but I am glad an apology has been issued quickly and, what I hope, if genuinely. I didn't really want to make any sort of post when this all happened because my thoughts/feelings on the matter are coming from a place of privilege, but what I would like to say is that colorism is unfortunately not new to kpop as an industry, and it isn't a problem that stems singularly from idols. It is an issue with all areas of the industry, from make up artists and stylists to photographers and managers.
When an idol makes a colorist remark there is always a fully understandable flare up of anger and hurt, which is always valid, but we need to do better at calling out the consistent colorism that most fans (specifically white fans, myself included) don't always register. I'm talking about make up artists using skin-bleaching/skin-whitening make up on artists. I'm talking about photographers taking heavily filtered pictures and presenting them as fact. I'm talking about companies selling us whole photobooks of paper-white looking idols because their skin has been edited to look that way. I'm talking about the cameras and lighting on music shows purposefully washing idols out. I'm talking about even paparazi shots being white-washed to the extreme.
Fans, too, often contribute to this. It happens when fans post heavily edited white-washed pictures. It happens when fans positively engage with these white-washed promotional images. It happens most of all when colorist remarks are made and the first thing some fans do is run to an idol's aid and make excuses for them. Yes, idols are surrounded by colorism in their industry and fed the idea that paler complextions are more beautiful and desirable, but that doesn't mean we don't point out the prejudice in those beliefs. Just because they might not have meant any harm - and just because those opinions are normalised and encouraged by the industry around them - doesn't mean they shouldn't be informed of their prejudice. It's how people grow and change and, hopefully, how we not only make kpop a more welcoming place but the world as a whole.
To summarise. Colorism is a kpop-wide issue and should be called out. It does not start and end with the odd remark made by an idol, the industry as a whole needs to do better. Most idols are grown adults who can handle a little personal growth, you don't need to defend them as if they're children with no worldly knowledge. Stand with fans and don't be an arse.
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if y’all want something depressing to think about on this fine night bc i have since relapsed in to this headcanon for the upteenth time and I need to post it to get it out of my system. this is not happy whatsoever.
Think about Joel getting bit. Or him losing too much blood in that basement and dying down there. Or bit and losing too much blood in that basement. And Ellie is the one to put him down so he doesn’t turn. Think about their goodbye, what it would be full of. It hasn’t even been a day since Ellie said she’d “like to try” to forgive him. They haven’t even had time to rekindle their relationship. So much has gone unsaid. Maybe she forgives him now. Maybe she tells him she loves him. Maybe he does. Maybe he tries to tell her, which proves to be impossible, just how deep and profoundly he loves her; how much he cares about her and all he wants is for her to be safe. How he needs to get this out, needs her to hear it before he’s gone. He needs to give her these words to rely on. Maybe Ellie props him up against the wall so she can sit next to him. Maybe she holds his hand or cleans his face so she can see his eyes better. Maybe they recount her 16th birthday or some small, blissful moments in their life. Just them, content. Moments they both think back to and wish it was still that way. Maybe Joel gives her his watch before he’s gone. Maybe she lays her head in his lap (where it’s not in excruciating pain) and he’s able to smooth her hair over, one last time. Maybe she tells him she forgives him. Maybe they talk about the hospital. Maybe it’s complete and utter silence except for their crying. Maybe they just can’t get the words out, but their eyes say enough. How close she sits next to him, how tight they hold each other’s hand. Maybe, similar to Lee and Clem, Joel has to tell Ellie she has to put him down so he doesn’t turn. Because he doesn’t want to turn. Because he doesn’t want Ellie to see him like that. Because he doesn’t want her to experience him as a runner. Doesn’t want her to look in to the eyes of a too far gone joel and have to stare him in the eye as she shoots him in the head. Maybe she tries to wake Tommy up every way she knows how so he can say goodbye, too. So the brothers can have time to recount their life, young and adult. To say goodbye. Maybe Joel gets to kiss Ellie’s head one last time. Maybe he gives her that all-too-recognizable smile before she fires the gun. That smile he gave her when she’d run to Joel, practically bouncing up and down to tell him some cool fact she just found out. Or how she sniped some stragglers on her patrol. Or how she learned a new tune on guitar and wanted to play it for him. Or when Ellie was just happy. Maybe she had a good conversation with Dina. Maybe a day was just exceptionally good. That smile from him always came at seeing her beam. Seeing her eyes light up like a kid watching fireworks for the first time. How she’d get so giddy, or when the joy was practically radiating off her in waves that he couldn’t even help the smile. Or even when one of them would leave for patrol or go out riding. Or even just go across town to do some work or hang out with other community members. A smile, she now realizes, was pure, unbridled love from him. And now he gives it one last time to her, right before she fires. A smile she knows she’ll never see again, though she thinks to burn this last one in to her head so she can sketch it down later. Just in case. He gives it one last time, hoping she catches the extent of what he’s trying to say. What he wishes he did tell her every day they were together. After every goodnight and goodbye. The first response said the second either one of them stepped through the door. Something to say randomly throughout the day, just as a reminder. Something to say before going in to something dangerous. Something to say after an argument, despite how hurt she was, to show her it would never change, especially not over an argument. Something that should’ve been said after movies nights, sappy conversations, or nightmares. Something that was understood, but never verbalized. Something he should’ve said to her at any other point in their journey, but instead it comes out at the end of theirs. Their forever separation, now bound only by their memories
And one sentence.
I love you, forever
did I have interstellar on the brain while thinking about this? yes, hence the forever. i wish I was capable of writing something happy when it comes to them BUT I GUESS NOT
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