#Kakuhidaweek2023

[maikides-anonpie]

Kakuhidaweek2023: Bloody kisses/Your soul is mine

I saw this prompt, and my first thought was like "What if Kakuzu wrote on Hidan's soul with permanent marker out of jealousy?" How did he do that? He reads a lot. Does it make any sense? Nothing coming out of my brain really does. OOC? Yeaah I can see that.

And I used Jashin because a) Makes sense b) I just wanted to draw my version of Jashin (or their 78th form) sadly I gave them more love than either Hidan or Kakuzu

[ladykissingfish]

Hidan: Hey, old bastard … what would you say about me, blondie and red-eyes making ourselves a band?

Kakuzu: I’d say … I must need to go and get my glasses changed. Because I seem to have missed seeing the three of you displaying any musical talent whatsoever.

Hidan: You’re such a fuckin’ downer. C’mon, it’d be great! I’d do lead guitar, blondie can do keyboards and maybe be in charge of pyrotechnics, and red-eyes is lead vocals.

Kakuzu: Itachi?! The boy barely speaks, and you think he can be your lead singer??

Hidan: Haven’t you ever heard him sing in the shower? He’s fucking fantastic!

Kakuzu: Bullshit.

Hidan: Okay, smart-ass … he’s in the shower right now. Come and listen.

*the two go and stand outside the bathroom door where somebody is beautifully singing a love song*

Kakuzu: … he has a radio or something going on there. He has to.

Hidan: *quietly pulls open the bathroom door; there’s no radio or phone, just Itachi singing*

Kakuzu:

Kakuzu: I am your groups manager. I get a 25% cut of all your earnings. I book the gigs, I drive you to the venues. Any “groupies” try and hit on you and I’ll decapitate them on stage. Agreed?

Hidan: *kisses him* Agreed. Itachi: Hey not to interrupt or anything but would you mind shutting the fucking door?!

[angels-catharsis]

Day 1 - Bloody Kisses

[kakuhidaweek]

Creation period has begun! Get crazy, go gory, whatever works! Posting will begin Monday, October 30th!

KakuHida Week '23 Prompts

• 10/30: Bloody Kisses // Your Soul is Mine

• 10/31: "The Only (motherfucker) THat Can Handle Me" // Linked

• 11/1: The Beach Episode // Bastards & Heathens

• 11/2: "Don't Torture Yourself, That's My Job" // Demons AU

• 11/3: Growing Older // Violent Devotion

• 11/4: "He's More Myself Than I Am!" // In This Life and the Next

• 11/5: Scars // A Modern Horror

• 11/6: Rockstar/Biggest Fan AU // The Freedom To Choose To Take

[homosapian-minus-the-sapian]

“He’s more myself than I am”

[fg083nrt]

day 5 IN THIS LIFE AND THE NEXT

laundry and taxes

#kakuhidaweek2023

@kakuhidaweek

[kaedeisreal]

man i haven't drawn anything since kakuhidaweek2023 started💀

[ladykissingfish]

Deidara: *on the computer* This is so fucked up, hm. Hidan: What is? Deidara: Look! *points at the screen* There's a whole fuckin' week dedicated to you and Kakuzu, hm! Why isn't there a week for people who celebrate me and Sasori?! Hidan: There is, dumbass. Actually depending on who the mod is, there's probably a LOT of different weeks for you and puppet-dick. Deidara: Really? Well I guess that's cool, then, hm. Hidan: Yeah but the artwork for YOUR week isn't as good as me and the old bastard's. Deidara: Oh yeah?! Well -- Hidan: But then again, I guess I can't talk shit because you STILL got me beat, with the Uchiha. Deidara: With ... with the what now? Hidan: *takes the mouse and brings up another page* See? Lotta people think you and red-eyes go together. They call it "ItaDei". Deidara: ITAdei?? As in, Itachi goes first?? No fucking way, hm! If we were together I'D be first! There's no way I'd bottom for that weaselly fuck! I -- *Itachi comes into room* Itachi: Oi, I'm trying to take a nap, you're being too noisy. *flashes his Sharingan* I don't have to have a talk with you about being quieter, do I? Deidara: N-no, hm. Sorry. We'll be quiet. Itachi: Good boy. *leaves* Hidan, to Deidara: You were saying -- ? Deidara: *runs out of room crying* *Kakuzu walks in* Kakuzu: Are you in here tormenting Deidara again? Hidan: Yep. Kakuzu: And you made him cry? Hidan: Yep. Kakuzu: *kisses Hidan's neck* Well done, brat.

[ladykissingfish]

*Hidan suddenly wakes up in a hot, dark place. His body isn't just a head anymore, he's fully intact* Hidan: What in the -- wait, did I die? Hidan: Jashin-sama, you lied to me! You promised me that if I made sacrifices and devoted myself to you, I'd live forever! What kind of shit is this?! I -- Kakuzu, from next to him: Would you have preferred to stay in that dirt-filled hole for all of eternity? Hidan: K-kakuzu? Is that you? Kakuzu: In the flesh. Well, relatively speaking, that is. Hidan: Are you dead too? Kakuzu: Yeah. The damn Kakashi of the sharingan took out my hearts. ALL of them. Hidan: It's so hot ... are we in hell? Kakuzu: Did you honestly believe we were going to heaven? Either of us? Hidan, sighing: No. It's just ... Kakuzu: It's been worse for me, I've been down here waiting for you until right now. I thought your stubborn ass would never die. Hidan: H-how long have you been dead? Kakuzu: Time seems to work differently here, but, I estimate that I died about 200 years ago, and you just got here, so ... Hidan: I lasted in that hole for 200 years?! Damn. Ah, I was so young, I could have -- *Kakuzu suddenly hugs Hidan to him, hard* Kakuzu, softly: I missed you so much, brat. We were together in our last life, and I want to continue to be together in this. Okay? Hidan, trying to hide his tears: O-okay, old bastard. I missed you too. Hidan: Hey, hell or not ... if you get to be with me forever, then it's really kind of like heaven, isn't it? Kakuzu: I'd agree to that ... IF we were entirely alone. Hidan: What do you -- *in the background, Hidan can hear the sounds of Deidara screaming obscenities at Tobi, Sasori scolding Deidara, and Kisame and Itachi having an argument* Hidan: Hidan: My mistake, we ARE in hell.

[ladykissingfish]

*having tea together after having switched partners during missions for a week* Kisame: Thank. God. I thought this week would never end! Hidan is a fucking nightmare! Kakuzu: *chuckles* What did he do? Kisame: He shaved Samehada while I was sleeping. He ruptured the aquarium in my room without telling me and I came back to water and dead fish all over my bed. That man we were sent to collect and bring back as prisoner? Sacrificed. The people who wouldn't give us extra meat at the bbq place? Sacrificed. The priest at the temple where we were sent to establish an alliance? SACRIFICED. Kakuzu: Hm. That's all? Sounds like a mild week for Hidan. Did you try to tell him to stop at any point? Kisame: Try? All I did was shout at him! He would just laugh and do whatever he wanted! Honestly ... I can see now why Nagato put the two of you together. I think you're the only one who can actually handle him. Kakuzu: Agreed. Kisame: But how was working with Itachi for you? Kakuzu: It was fine, he's a very quiet and serious partner. Gets everything done smoothly and efficiently. It's just ... at night ... Kisame: He tried to crawl into your bed and get you to read him a story, right? Kakuzu: Mm. And his temper goes a bit out of control when you refuse to let him over-indulge in sweets, doesn't it? Kisame: Yes. I still have the bite marks in my arm from when I tried to tell him that 20 dango was too many in one sitting. Kakuzu:

[ladykissingfish]

*at the beach* Kakuzu: Ah, this is so relaxing. Just sun, and sand, and the waves rolling back and forth ... Hidan: Fuck, this is BORING. Don't you want to go swimming or something? Kakuzu: No. I just want to lay right here. Go play with Deidara or something. Hidan: *pouting* Can't. Him and that puppet-dick are being all gay under their umbrella. Kakuzu: Then go for a swim on your own. Go get some snacks. Take a walk along the sand dunes. There's a million things you can do that don't require my participation, isn't there? Hidan: You are the world's worst boyfriend. We're spending this day together if it kills us. Alright, since you don't want to move, can I bury you in the sand, then? Kakuzu, sighing: Very well. *Hidan works at burying Kakuzu for half an hour* Hidan: There! You're in there so fucking tight Jashin himself couldn't get you out. Kakuzu: Good job, brat. This is so nice and warm ... I think maybe I'll take a nap ... *starts to doze off* Hidan: ... seriously? Shit, now he'll really never move from this spot! *Tobi walks up* Tobi: Hiiii, Hidan-Senpai! Want to go with Tobi to get some ice cream? Hidan, sighing: I may as well. Oh, shit, I forgot my wallet. *looks at Kakuzu's wallet laying next to him in the sand* I'm sure the old fuck won't mind if I borrow a few bucks to -- Kakuzu: *suddenly wakes up and breaks out of the sand with one punch* Not on your life, brat. Hidan and Tobi:

[ladykissingfish]

*Hidan wakes up suddenly in the middle of the night to find some kind of creature staring at him from the shadows*

Hidan: Who the fuck are you?!

Demon: I am a Lord from the dark pits of hell. Your partner Kakuzu lost your soul in a poker game; I’ve come to collect you and take you back to hell with me.

Hidan: *grumbling* That son of a bitch … fine fine. *slides on his shoes* Let’s get this over with.

Demon: … aren’t you going to put on your pants? Or shirt?

Hidan: Nope. Let all of those gay-ass devils stare at my dick.

Demon:

*three days later*

Kakuzu: Oh, it’s you. What do you want?

Demon: *fidgeting and shuffling his feet* It’s … well … t-that soul I came to collect …

Kakuzu: No returns.

Demon: *looks up, tears in eyes* Please sir? He’s harassed every single person in our realm within the span of a few days. God took at least a thousand horribly bad people into heaven, because he thought it “too much” to expose them to Hidan. He … he made the devil himself cry! Hell is in complete shambles! *breaks into sobs* Please, please take him back!

Kakuzu: The money I lost in the game?

Demon: Repaid, ten times over.

Kakuzu: Deal. Bring him back.

*two lesser demons lead Hidan into the room, still naked, in shackles and gagged*

Kakuzu: *takes the wad of money from Demon* Pleasure doing business with you.

*the three demons leave, and Kakuzu unbinds and ungags Hidan*

Kakuzu: Well done, brat. We made much more than we usually do. You’re getting better.

Hidan: Those sissy-ass cunts didn’t know what hit ‘em! Buncha pussies! 

Hidan: *wraps his arms around Kakuzu’s shoulders* You know my soul only belongs to you, baby. You know I’d do anything for ya ~

Kakuzu: Keep that attitude because I have another game next week with all of the Kages. You’re about to become a part of some poor fool’s village.

Hidan: 

[angels-catharsis]

♡♡♡

Day 4 DemonsAU

kakuhidaweek2023

[ladykissingfish]

Hidan: Hey, bastard ... lets go for a walk or something. Kakuzu: Why? Hidan: Because you've been sittin' in this fuckin' room all week, that's why. It ain't healthy. Get up so we can -- Kakuzu: I don't feel like a walk, Hidan. I don't feel like anything. *lays down and pulls the covers over himself* Go amuse yourself elsewhere. Hidan: Hidan: Okay ... what's the matter? Kakuzu: Nothing. Hidan: Don't fuckin' lie to me, it clearly ain't nothing. Did you miss out on a big bounty or somethin'? Kakuzu: No, it's ... brat you wouldn't understand. Please just leave. Hidan: *hesitates, then sits at the edge of the bed and timidly puts his hand on Kakuzu's back* You can talk to me, y'know. Fucking isn't all I'm good for. Kakuzu: It’s … if you laugh I’ll murder you right now, but, a few days ago … I found a gray hair. Hidan: Hidan: Am I missing something big here? Why the hell are ya so upset about that?! Kakuzu: I’ve had this black hair all my life. I know I’m 91 but the hair at least made me feel young. Now if that’s starting to go gray, then … I really am an old man. Hidan: That’s probably the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard, ‘Kuzu. Your hair color don’t matter. You could have NO fuckin’ hair on yer head and you’d still move and act and think like a guy half your age. So cut this superficial shit out and come take a walk with me! Kakuzu: Kakuzu: *smiles and gets out of bed* Thank you, Hidan. You’re very smart when you want to be. Hidan: See, that’s another thing … MY smarts comes from my white hair, ‘cuz white hair means brains and maturity. So keep getting gray hairs, Kakuzu, and one day you can be as smart as your partner here! Kakuzu:

[ladykissingfish]

*Kakuzu trying to pull out ingrown hairs on his legs* Kakuzu: *groans* Shit, this hurts like hell ... Kakuzu: *plucks another out and yelps* Goddamn! These little fuckers pack a wallop! Hidan: Oi, old bastard? What are ya doin' in here?? Kakuzu: Trying to get rid of these abominable ingrown hairs, brat. Leave me alone. Hidan: That shit looks like it hurts like hell ... Kakuzu: *plucks another as tears spring to his eyes* It does. So once again ... Hidan: *takes the tweezers and kneels at Kakuzu's side* So let me do it for you. Kakuzu, doubtfully: Well, okay ... *Hidan reaches down and very quickly plucks out a long one, making Kakuzu roar* Kakuzu: Ooooow! Fuck you; that wasn't any better! Hidan: It wasn't supposed to be better, jackass; I just wanted to be the one hurting you, that's all. Kakuzu: You are the most messed-up person I've ever met in my life. Hidan: Okay, okay, I'll make it better. Hidan: *roughly yanks out another hair, but right as Kakuzu is about to yell, he covers his mouth with his own, giving him a deep kiss* Hidan: ... better? Kakuzu: Kakuzu: ...Continue. *half an hour later* Deidara, poking his head in: Oi, Kakuzu? Do you have that -- Deidara: *stops, sees Hidan laying across Kakuzu while they make out, Kakuzu grunting while Hidan furiously plucks the hairs from Kakuzu's legs with the tweezers* Deidara: S-sorry to bother you, hm ...

[ladykissingfish]

Hidan: Oi, 'Kuzu, can I ask you a question? Kakuzu: If you must. Hidan: It's like 900 degrees out here. But no matter what, you always wear those long-ass shirts and pants. And the head thingie. AND the robes. Aren't you dying like that?? Kakuzu: We're all dying, brat. A little bit at a time each day. With each passing breath we take. Hidan: Speak for yourself, asshole; I'm living forever. But why ya gotta be so morbid about it? Kakuzu: Because my morbidity is more palatable than the truth, Hidan. Learn to let things go. Hidan: I don't get what -- Kakuzu: *sighs and rolls up his sleeves and pants legs* There. THAT'S why I wear the long clothes. I'm a hideous, vile, walking talking scar. These clothes aren't so much about me as it is for you, and the rest of the Akatuski. To spare you all the sight of my ugliness. Hidan: Hidan: Kakuzu ... I know you're old, but are you blind, too? You're literally hot as shit! Those scars don't take away from the way you look, they add to it! They make you look rough and dangerous! Like you could snap my neck with your pinkie finger! Kakuzu: *smiles and gently closes one hand around Hidan's throat* There are other things I'd rather do with your neck, besides breaking it, brat ... Kakuzu: *pulls Hidan towards him and starts kissing and nibbling his throat* Hidan: H-harder ... Kakuzu: You want me to squeeze harder? Or kiss you harder? Hidan: Both. Kakuzu: Well, if you insist ... *a few says later, Hidan at an onsen with Deidara* Deidara: -- and then I told Danna that shit just happens, I'm reckless and he KNOWS I'm reckless, hm. You can't be artistic unless you're willing to take some risks, right? But he just goes on and on about "my beautiful skin" and "ruining it with scars", hm. But I said -- Hidan: Please don't turn me on when 'Kuzu isn't here to take care of me, blondie. Deidara: