#Kirkin lives!

[ejzah]

A/N: A little dialogue drabble in anticipation of Kensi and Deeks’ wedding anniversary.

***

Fatima: Hey, did one of you guys order something to be delivered here? Like, something really big?

Kensi, shaking her head: No, I don’t think so. Babe?

Deeks: Nope. I learned that lesson long ago. What’s it look like?

Fatima, holding her arms out to her side: About this wide, maybe two inches thick, and almost up to my chest. It’s also surprisingly heavy.

Deeks, tipping his head back: Oh my god. I can’t believe this.

Kensi, concerned: What?

Deeks: Kirkin. It’s his annual gift.

Fatima: Anatoli Kirkin is dead…

Deeks, grimly: He is. But that didn’t stop him from making certain provisions in his will.

Kensi, clapping her hands in delight: Oh, I completely forgot about that!

Fatima: I am sooo confused.

Deeks: And that’s perfectly fine.

Kensi: Kirkin arranged for a very special present to be sent in honor of our anniversary.

Fatima: What kind of present?

Deeks: Nope, we don’t need to go there.

Kensi: It’s a painting. Of Deeks.

Deeks: Traitor.

Fatima: Um…well, that’s, uh…

Deeks: Creepy? Yep.

Kensi: Oh, and you haven’t even seen it yet.

Deeks, tightly: And she never will. Right, Kensi?

Kensi, touching his shoulder: Of course not. Baby, I would never share that kind of thing with anyone else. It’s for my eyes only.

Deeks, smiling gently: Good.

Fatima, awkwardly: You know what, I’m just going to go back upstairs and leave the package with you guys. *pauses a moment while Kensi and Deeks forget she’s in the room* So weird.

[beardedmrbean]

The Highland Clearances, starting at the mid 18th century, was a bitter chapter in Scotland's history.  The Clearances had two objectives:  1.To dissolve the clans' power, because many did not recognize House of Orange's rule over Britain, which led to violent conflicts.  2.To reform the land, ideally to loyal subjects to British government, to meet increasing demand for sheep.  Over the next few decades, thousands of Scottish were evicted from their lands -some methods were more brutal than others.  Outcast and friendless, they immigrated to America and Commonwealth countries to restart their lives.  Loch Lomond, is a song of mourning for the dead rebels. ___________________________

Submitted by @eggs-n-ham-sam

Local St Andrews society every year does a thing at my church A Kirkin’ O’ the Tartan, outing myself as a Presbyterian I know.

If you're not familiar with it as a concept, which I think your, bit up there tells me you are, but for anyone else interested here's the St Andrews society page on it and a short blurb for those that only want a touch of info to know that I'm not making these things up.

A Kirkin’ O’ the Tartan is an almost-Scottish American tradition, generally considered a rededication (of clans and others) to God’s service. While 18th century Scots had to hide their ancient clan tartans in the Kirk (church), today Scots and those of Scots descent, celebrate both their national and their religious heritage with a Kirkin’.

"Almost-Scottish American tradition" kills me.

We're a strange place the US, looking backwards and forwards at the same time while still not sure where we are now.

Irish pub here in town I used to go to regularly, Irish as it can be at least, every so often, late after the dinner crowd was gone and it was just people enjoying a pint and such, someone would break into song and it ended up happening like that video for today on man occasions.

was always a joy when it did

[444names]

english surnames BUT excluding "h"

Abellum Agnes Akridley Alber Albott Albutt Alcombs Aldredford Allwells Anner Ansford Apper Asburgis Asburrone Astles Atkington Atney Atting Attledbey Avens Aycockerson Babey Backley Baine Balderder Bannantler Barborn Barman Barneller Barnetten Barrell Baterson Baxton Beace Becrangers Beddixion Beley Belkney Benningley Bewles Bickup Biggett Birdsley Bitton Bizzard Blace Blames Blane Blange Bling Bloomb Blost Bluncefield Bluntin Boardest Bodder Bolingall Borner Boster Boulding Boulsey Boulsife Bowerst Bowrange Bracloseman Bradis Bradison Brants Brell Briddle Brideout Bridgen Briendelle Brigg Brimlett Brimm Brocter Bromes Brounger Browooden Brussexter Bryde Bulmerry Bulmes Burbe Burker Burledgelor Burron Bussett Byfiel Caber Caiford Calfe Calls Cannaford Cannard Caper Cappers Capple Carbee Carlester Casey Caudlows Cauldins Clayne Cleatman Cobby Colbridge Coller Colvers Conson Cookery Copassell Coppers Cordy Corles Corward Cotts Coulden Coverton Cowlkeley Cowlton Cradley Cradwell Cribble Crippin Criss Cristins Critten Crofton Crossart Cruss Culvere Custims Cutton Cyrumple Darwardson Davis Dawayne Deakman Debott Deesons Delknel Deminy Deputman Dexted Dillyard Dittle Dobby Dolbee Dorsley Dowesters Drumley Drump Dunkles Durry Eadawson Earlill Ecklandidge Edgemake Ement Engills Fabing Fairleton Fattennison Faunterman Fenwork Fessett Ffreckford Fieldenford Figgs Fingstanmer Fland Fowlings Frand Frard Freton Frienden Frienderd Fristis Fuggles Fullin Fulling Futreenman Gadden Gaddon Gains Garberton Garley Garman Garrownson Gatleton Genton Gibbots Gidler Gilkin Gillcom Glads Gladwartin Gland Glazel Glead Glide Glidebnam Glidges Gobby Goodbee Goodburkins Goodcock Goodlock Gooks Grance Gread Greets Griston Grizzell Gullington Gumpus Irbank Jackenson Jaqualls Jernaboddy Jerson Jollin Journes Jowell Judgett Justillins Keetman Kenfiell Kerser Killmore Kimbiscoult Kirkin Kitton Knigale Knigall Lackle Lakenn Lames Lasey Lasscofield Leakin Leaton Leavey Ledgoodson Leeverman Lives Longford Longley Lorden Lovinton Loware Lummerry Lunkey Luter Mabell Maddon Mallman Marburner Markeritage Marlison Marly Martince Mastea Maulkley Meles Merfieldo Merson Milley Milson Molds Molyerson Mumfield Musgrosser Mynarden Naverbey Nigannison Nolds Norse Nyers Oakle Olmarcy Orcestbro Orrowney Osbornelley Packson Palmon Palmsteason Parkley Patribble Pearbord Peedlow Pegrove Penix Pettler Pickey Piers Pince Pipper Pittiss Plander Pleby Pockman Polincer Poller Pollins Pomes Pontford Pooling Postick Preton Prett Prinklin Prock Prockman Pryden Puckleston Puckman Pyburnaby Quartson Radsden Raiferne Ransey Ransfield Rasscoe Rater Ratter Raway Rawsomes Ricklands Rides Ridgles Riven Roebuckman Rolford Rollias Roystead Ruggs Rumpuse Ruper Ruton Sabinskelty Sackmon Saller Sampton Sanden Santon Saudley Saway Scages Scouncy Scraft Seaboddard Selps Sendale Sesson Siggett Sildens Simes Simore Sington Skillar Skilling Slace Slades Slyne Slynn Smeas Smedles Soseberman Spars Speacey Spers Spicks Spinn Sprall Sprudge Spruillin Spruitt Stabb Stacress Stalbery Stall Stankin Stann Stantaggs Stiddy Stigan Stillbriggs Stills Stockell Stovers Strail Stratt Strear Sturges Sutten Swell Sworrisp Talberry Talmersby Targins Tauntjoy Tawnes Teelin Tiddle Tillen Tinton Tolme Topes Totterson Towray Traft Trawlin Triples Tripletson Tuney Turges Turgister Tutton Twile Vanton Wagston Walding Wates Watrot Wayze Weates Webstebb Weete Weetwell Wilbridgeon Wilden Wilman Wilmerton Wince Winnell Winnock Worke Worton Yalstone Yarbelton Youndy

same thing but shorter names

Abellor Abey Abrow Ackett Adampson Aine Ainton Akerick Albourse Aldon Alvore Amberly Andagge Annard Apple Appley Artinter Artt Aster Aver Ayre Bage Bagnes Band Bane Bank Bannison Barby Bare Barles Barn Barnall Barriddy Basilcox Bats Bazell Beaman Beazle Beber Beck Becker Beddle Bedge Beding Belf Belster Bennard Bens Berton Bett Bick Bige Bigoody Birce Bircland Blackery Blackman Blancas Blatton Blin Blundley Blunn Blytton Boarden Boldings Bolt Bomaster Bonner Booksey Bosandy Bost Bott Bourley Bowerton Boye Bradle Braiford Bram Brazel Brazenby Bridden Bridder Bridmons Broadles Broomb Brostead Brott Brotton Bryden Buckling Buff Bulkins Bullman Bunt Burdy Burn Burnall Burne Burrett Buse Butt Buttert Cagg Cainer Cale Calfe Calfred Calk Cant Capert Cauton Cland Claypoor Cles Cobbler Cock Cogg Coggs Cold Coles Colley Colmster Comb Cong Conks Cons Cookin Corbell Corleep Corner Counge Cour Cove Covett Crable Crence Crisom Crison Croce Croffin Cruill Cruton Cular Cutt Dall Dard Daver Deputnam Dibblew Dick Digwell Dodrian Doggin Dors Dowlesby Downe Duck Dunker Eaks Edder Eden Eelye Efield Eggett Embler Engilson Farrell Faulter Faulton Feling Fent Ferst Fited Flacey Flee Flington Flipscoe Fosslin Foulter Fowley Fulfield Fulling Gall Garl Gater Genter Gland Glin Glovett Goford Gold Goodfell Gord Gowe Gree Gris Grundale Gunn Idder Imeon Inday Ingfell Ingles Irwickey Jackera Jaker Jann Jarrow Jeffield Jenn Jerrer Joinerd Juling Justigan Kayer Keatman Kelson Kens Kett Kiddy Kill Kimbley Kins Kison Knigan Lackney Lackwell Landy Lardsley Last Layson Layton Lemer Liday Lidge Ling Litt Lobbitt Loome Loomer Loverton Luncey Lunkenn Madger Mage Majord Majorsey Makers Makins Mallin Marges Mart Maxford Mayer Mayne Maynes Mayork Mayson Mean Mers Midge Migg Mill Mins Moble Morell Moreman Mors Mowell Mudges Mull Mung Mynation Myris Nick Nickmore Norcer Nowlings Nunner Nurser Nutton Nyerson Odumbly Olitts Ormwood Orrow Osbors Oveday Ovell Paddon Pain Palman Parkey Partrine Pearison Pendes Perd Pett Pice Pikensir Ping Pipps Plas Ploway Pooleman Popes Prier Profts Pulliffe Purins Quibbell Rail Rangles Rate Raves Redge Rickens Rickerts Ridge Riplett Ripps Riscoe Roll Rollison Rollye Rooke Rosvens Royale Ruffum Sabey Sadden Sale Sary Satte Saver Savera Saway Saye Sayes Scritton Secull Sedgood Seele Segroud Sign Silves Simer Simmer Sings Skipps Smon Sock Soleson Sout Sowe Sparking Spennard Spin Spraley Stabbot Staffin Stalk Stall Stallin Stampter Stanield Stanison Stant Stapling Starkson Starly Staynatt Sted Ster Stilles Stilton Stine Stington Ston Stopps Stravey Stree Stron Stus Summer Sump Swell Table Talls Tard Tartin Templey Tendens Tiffer Tinger Tituster Toberton Tobian Tompton Toot Tovert Townard Trice Trimmon Tringer Trivey Tron Truell Tuckox Tugg Tunker Turbee Turby Twixon Uptilton Vant Varne Vibb Walland Walpote Warry Water Watert Wates Weaton Well Wenby Wentint Wester Wett Widge Wilbert Wilker Wince Wing Wingle Wirton Witted Wittin Wold Woman Wrend Wrent Yearson

[typingtess]

NCIS: LOS ANGELES:  “The Noble Maidens” – Act Two

Sam joins Deeks in the office.  Deeks is off to see Kirkin.  Sam is surprised that Callen hasn’t come to the office since he promised he would.  

Zasha tells Callen that Katya is not only in Russia, she is out of the spy business.  Russian spies are still watching Katya but she’s not working for them.  Callen doesn’t trust Zasha and if doesn’t’ trust her, he doesn’t have to protect her.

Roundtree is looking for food in the roach coach – he’s got a high metabolism.  He’s watching the Russian embassy.  Sam is looking for Nell.

Anna’s chair is being welded to the floor of the chipping container.  For her safety.  With Anna tied to it.

Kilbride is sitting in Hetty’s upstairs office.  He’s also not happy with Hetty’s office.  Equally unhappy – the CIA about Joelle being rescued by NCIS.  His rant about Hetty is hilarious and I can’t do it justice here.  Kilbride is really the second best semi-regular after Arkady.

A weepy Joelle is visited by Callen.  She talks about “most of me” being back in the land of the living.  After Joelle asks about Anna, Callen questions Joelle.  The CIA thought Katya would defect – Joelle didn’t trust her.  Joelle shares she was held in a shipping container.

Joelle says Katya’s only mistake was not killing her.  Killing Katya is the first “to-do” item on Joelle’s post hospital plans.

[scotianostra]

August 1st 1747 saw the Proscription Act introduced, banning the “Highland Garb” and the carrying of weapons. The penalty for a first offence was six months in jail and a second offence resulted in transportation for seven years.

To understand the act you have to first look at the previous uprisings, the 1715 saw the Disarming Act, which was ineffectual as the vast majority of the arms seized or handed in were rusted or unused, their real armouries were hidden fro the redcoats. Another short lived uprising in 1719 saw the introduction of the 1725 Disarming act “An act for the more effectual disarming the highlands in that part of Great Britain called Scotland; and for the better securing the peace and quiet of that part of the kingdom‘ This time General Wade led the movement and was more successful in seizing weapon but still there were weapons spirited away from the government’s prying eyes and not all were taken from the Highlanders, and those outwith the Highlands too, as it wasn’t just their the act was enforced.

And so to the ‘45. The act afterwards again was about disarming the clans but it went further than the previous laws, it also meant you could not wear the tartan ‘That from and after the first day of August, one thousand seven hundred and forty seven, no man or boy, within that part of Great Briton called Scotland, other than shall be employed as officers and soldiers in his Majesty’s forces, shall on any pretence whatsoever, wear or put on the clothes commonly called Highland Clothes (that is to say) the plaid, philibeg, or little kilt, trowse, shoulder belts, or any part whatsoever of what peculiarly belongs to the highland garb; and that no tartan, or partly-coloured plaid or stuff shall be used for great coats, or for upper coats’ Anyone found breaking these rules could be imprisoned for six months, and, if they were caught again, they could be sent to a plantation overseas for seven years.”

Excluded were soldiers of the realm and the gentry, oh and you may have noticed women weren’t mentioned! The act itself was more about banning the highland dress rather than the tartan, although in some cases there is no doubt over zealous lawmen would set it down by the letter of the law as it was written During the time that Proscription was in effect, rumours abounded about methods by which Highlanders tried to retain their sense of clan identity – the most well-known in modern times being the ritual of the Kirkin’ o’ the Tartan. According to the legend, Highlanders hid pieces of tartan and brought them to church to be secretly blessed at a particular point in the service. The Highlanders would touch the hidden fabric at a pre-appointed time during the benediction, thus rededicating themselves to God and their Scottish heritage. This ritual is now once again popular, especially in among the diaspora populations of North America, although of course this is no longer performed in secret and instead is seen as a proud way to publicly declare your heritage, while remembering the difficulties faced by previous generations.

The ban was eventually lifted in 1782, due to the effects of the Clearances beginning to take hold in de-populating the Highlands, and because Highland clothing and tartan was no longer seen as a threat. However, within a couple of years, Highland landowners set up Societies with aims including promotion of “the general use of the ancient Highland dress”. Walter Scott was instrumental in encouraging lowlanders to show pride, it was about this time that specific tartans for Clans came about, before this the tartans more or less covered the regions rather than a particular clan, although the two did overlap so it is not always the case.

I sometimes hear people talking disparagingly about how the kilt should be worn, to me there is no set way, wear it how you want, I wear mine with walking boots and either long kilt socks or without, sometimes a Ghillie shirt but not always, others go on about wearing your clan tartan etc, as I said earlier not all tartans wear about your family, so wear a tartan you like, ignore what the snobs say, wear it to be a proud Scot or to remember your heritage, wear it whenever you want, if anyone tells you otherwise they are as bad as those who on this day in 1746 told a Nation that you could not wear your colours, be Proud to be Scottish.

[openbookunedited]

I’m so fucking sorry 2019 is off to an amazing start! This morning Big Dreco aka Soulja Boy Tellem and Tol’em as he woke the whole Breakfast Club up for brunch. I’ve been talking about this interview all day because I enjoyed every moment of it.

So if you don't know your friendly neighborhood Soulja Boy been kirkin lately between Instagram Live and just in general. I mean... Soulja put it all out there and pretty much shared he birthed all these new niggas! Ironically, not a single lie was detected... 

Enjoy!

[ejzah]

I know we'll never get to see that on the show but Could you write about kirkin meeting Rosa?

A/N: I don’t know if anyone’s in the mood for fic after tonight’s news, but I was already writing this before it dropped, so I shall carry on.

***

So We Meet Again

“So, what do you have going on next week?” Deeks glanced up from his menu, catching Rosa’s eye. In the last year, they’d made it a habit to go out as a family on Saturdays, barring and work-related emergencies.

“I have a study group on Monday and Wednesday after school,” Rosa answered. She paused, eyes dipping for a second. “Um, and I’m going to hang out with a friend on Thursday.”

Deeks’ suspicion, more sensitive than ever since becoming a parent, instantly rose.

“Is this a girl friend or a boy friend?” he asked. Kensi nudged his elbow, giving him a quick shake of her head. He narrowed his eyes, silently assuring her that he wasn’t about to flip out.

Rosa blushed, which was answer enough for Deeks, but he waited while she took a sip of her tea and cleared her throat.

“It is a boy.” Her voice lilted up at the end, and she smiled sheepishly.

“Oh, I see. Maybe you should invite him over for dinner some night.”

“Deeks!” Kensi hissed.

“What, I think it’s important to get to know—what the hell?”

“Deeks, what is it?” Kensi grabbed his wrist, instantly on alert, eyes searching the Italian restaurant for threats.

“I thought I just—but it can’t be,” he muttered.

“Babe, you need to tell me what’s going on before I have an anxiety attack,” Kensi told him. He twisted to face her more fully.

“I thought I saw Kirkin come in, but that can’t be because he’s dead.”

“Uh, yeah, I wouldn’t count on that.” Gesturing with her chin, Kensi looked beyond his shoulder. “That’s definitely Kirkin.”

“What’s he doing?”

“Mm, trying to pretend he’s not looking this way.”

“Who is Anatoli Kirkin? Is he dangerous?” Rosa asked worriedly.

“Anatoli Kirkin is a complicated person to describe,” Deeks began, drawing in a dramatic sigh. “He’s a supposedly ex-Russian criminal, who is oddly endearing but also kind of creepy and prone to pop up in the most inconvenient times.”

“He also has a pretty massive crush on Deeks,” Kensi said, ignoring Deeks’ strangled noise and Rosa’s gasp. “And now he’s headed this way.”

“Oh my god, not again,” Deeks groaned, just as he heard the hallmark drawl that meant it was far too late to escape.

“Maaarty! What a surprise to see you here!”

With a resigned sigh, Deeks turned around, but not before he threw Kensi a bemused look. She just shrugged, apparently just as confused as him.

As usual, Kirkin was smiling coyly, hands folded neatly together. Dressed in an impeccably tailored blue suit, he appeared a little older, but otherwise much the same as ever.

“Yeah, I’d say so. You look in remarkably good health for a dead man,” Deeks responded as he face Kirkin. For Rosa’s sake, he didn’t go into detail. “You want to explain that?”

“Oh, I was running into a bit of trouble and took the opportunity to enact my plan B,” Kirkin explained.

“I thought you died saving my life,” Deeks told him with a touch of irritation.

“And did that upset you?”

“Of course it did!”

Kirkin practically beamed, resting his hands on Deeks’ shoulders. He removed them before Deeks could, or Kensi, could fully react. Apparently he’d finally learned not to press his luck around Kensi.

Switching to the endearing smile he reserved for when he wanted gl charm people, he turned his attention from Deeks.

“My Dear Kensi, it’s always so good to see you too,” he said, daring to pat her hand. She just shook her head, going with the insanity. Though she did tuck her hands under the table as soon as Kirkin stopped touching her. “I know you’ve been taking good care of our Marty.”

“Yeah, because he’s my husband. Mine,” Kensi replied dryly.

“Oh, Martin has always inspired great loyalty in those who care about him.” Kirkin waved his hand airily. He snuck a sly look in Deeks’ direction and winked, before continuing. “And you must be Rosa.”

Rosa hesitantly accepted his outstretched hand, glancing between Kensi and Deeks uncertainly.

“Uh, yes.”

“I was so pleased for Marty and Kensi when I heard the good news that you were joining their family. I know how much they’ve wanted children.”

“I’ve been very happy,” Rosa said with a nervous smile.

“Of course you are! They are wonderful people,” Kirkin exclaimed. Pulling out a chair next to Rosa, he sat, making himself comfortable. “I’ve known your parents for many, many years. I met them during a case.”

Leaning towards Deeks, he lowered his voice, “Remember the bathhouse, Marty. I assure you I will never forget.” He winked suggestively, and Deeks shifted his chair a few inches closer to Kensi.

“What happened at a bathhouse?” Rosa wondered.

“Ah, you definitely do not need to hear about that,” Deeks interceded before Kirkin could respond.

“Oh, Marty.” Now he sounded disappointed. “I’ve always remembered that day so fondly. As I do the time you modeled my designs for the photoshoot. I still keep copies in my bedroom.”

“Well, that’s fantastic to know. And doesn’t creep me out at all.” Deeks grimaced, shaking his head a couple times to dispel the image of Kirkin with his pictures close at hand.

Rosa meanwhile fixed Deeks with a curious, wide-eyed expression. “You modeled clothes for this man.”

“It was the result of a poorly formed agreement and something with which we never, ever talk about,” Deeks explained. “Ever. Also, always clarify the terms of a contract, whether it’s verbal or written.”

“Don’t pretend you didn’t enjoy it, Marty. I know Kensi did. Besides, you looked marvelous!”

Deeks pinched the bridge of his nose. Beside him, Kensi squirmed a little, probably thinking of the prints she’d kept from said photoshoot. He definitely felt a headache coming on. “Ok, is there some reason why you decided to come out of the shadows and interrupt our dinner?”

“Well, the people who wanted me dead are no longer a problem, and I’ve rebuilt myself to a satisfactory level, so I decided it was time to visit old friends.” He spread his hands wide to encompass Deeks, Kensi, and Rosa. “Aren’t you pleased to see me?” he asked more uncertainty, the corners of his mouth tipping down into the most pitiful expression Deeks had ever seen.

Deeks held out for roughly ten seconds while Kirkin continued to stare at him.

“Fine. I’m glad you’re not dead,” he settled on, and Kirkin immediately went back to smiling, pressing a hand to the center of his chest.

“That’s what I like to hear.” He checked his watch suddenly, and tsked. “Unfortunately, I must be going. It was wonderful to see all of you.” He blew Kensi and Rosa each a kiss, reserving a suggestive look for Deeks. “Maaarty.” With a final wink, he turned and started weaving his way between tables.

“So, that was Anatoli Kirkin,” Deeks said after an extended silence. Rosa still looked completely bemused.

“Still in love with you after all these years,” Kensi added.

“Thanks for that, babe.” Sighing, Deeks looked in the direction Kirkin had gone. “You know, it was kind of good to see him.”

“Well, I’m sure that it won’t be the last time since Kirkin miraculously returned.”

“Ugh.”

“Don’t you have to be naked at a bathhouse?” Rosa asked, eliciting another groan from Deeks.

***

A/N: Thanks for the prompt!

[typingtess]

NCIS: Los Angeles Season Ten – Recap

The team survived the missile attack on the Jeep in Mexico, Kensi and Deeks's relationship made it too.  So did Deeks's career as NCIS's LAPD Liaison.  

Death was all around with the unnecessary killing of Hidoko and the honorable end for Nikita.  Also dead – EAD Mosley's career.

The team's reputation for playing fast and loose with the rules had yet another person from Washington sent to shut them down – several actually in the form of a returned U.S. Admiral, another senior NCIS Staffer and a Justice Department Official.  Office still not shut down,

Lots of family as Callen had moments with his father, his sister, his nephew and his possible new half-brother.  Kensi and Deeks had Julia, Bertie and each other.  Nell had Sydney and a sick parent.  The Hanna children earned mentions as Aiden spent Christmas with his girlfriend's family and Kam accompanied him to DC for a trip to the Navy Museum.  Eric Beale remains the only cast member without any visible family.  Mosley left with her son early in the season and was never heard from again.

The team (or members of the team) travelled to Mexico, San Diego, Washington D.C., the Malibu Creek State Park, San Francisco, Cuba, the Gulf of Aden, Iraq and where ever the hell Hetty was.  Kensi and Deeks are going to Peru at some point for their volunteering honeymoon.

The team worked with the Diplomatic Defense Service, LAPD, CIA, the State Department, Highway Patrol, the FBI, the San Diego Office, the Dallas gang unit through Lance Hamilton, the US Border Patrol, the US Marshals, the LA Sheriff's Department and a pair of former JAG officers who are now the XO on an aircraft carrier and a Marine Liaison for the State Department.

Sabatino was back, as was Adm. Kilbride, Harris Keane, Nicole DeChamps, DSS Agent Bush, Joelle, Anna and Arkady Kolcheck, Tiffany Williams, Det. Whiting, Tobin Shaked, Alex Elmslie, Talia del Campo, Pavel Volkoff and Jasmine Garcia.  Arlo Turk wound up being more than just an ex-pat in Mexico running an ATV business.  Kirkin invited himself to Kensi and Deeks's wedding.  New folks with the team include NCIS Deputy Director Louis Ochoa, AUSA John Rogers while Lance Hamilton and Fatima Namazi worked with the team on several occasion.  A series that was light on recurring characters for years suddenly has its fair share.

Mimi Rogers made a random guest appearance as someone in power who wasn't Ned Dorneget's mom.  The team met Harmon Rabb and Sarah MacKenzie from the mothership's mothership.  

Kensi and Deeks opened a bar, hired his Mom, rented the apartment above the place to Callen and hired Callen's nephew Jake as the bar's IT expert.  Obviously a family run business.

Hetty can make an entrance.

Callen saw his two ex-girlfriends team up to save his father and was forced to leave them in Cuba.  Sam has thoughts of joining Lance Hamilton as a special operations expert for the DoJ.  Kensi and Deeks talked about leaving NCIS/LAPD for a safer life while admitting they love what they do.  Eric has a bigtime tech job offer but is also interested in field work.  Nell is torn between her two families – the Jones and OSP.   I really thought with the first part of the season once again including a "let's break up the team" storyline there would be a breaking up of the team in the season finale – this time with everyone OK with the change because they have other plans.  The season 11 premiere could have been about bringing the band together.

Kensi and Deeks got married, Eric and Nell moved in together, Harm and Mac gazed lovingly at each other.  Callen’s ex-girlfriends did him a solid.  Sam started talking about Michelle and seemed to be in slightly less pain.  Season ten was the season of love.

Personal Opinions:

Three best episodes:

“To Live and Die in Mexico" "Smokescreen" Part One "Till Death Do Us Part"

The last one gets a major pass on the plot flaws for the actual wedding.  Honorary mention:  "Better Angels" which was beautifully acted but derivative of "The Subway" episode of Homicide: Life in the Streets.

Three worst episodes:

“Superhuman" – maybe one of the five worst bad guy of the week episodes in show history.  Maybe top two or three. "The Patton Project" was a disappointing end to "The Silo" storyline. "One of Us" had a great idea and did nothing with it.

Some season were sneaky good (season seven is actually sneaky great) but season ten was actually sneaky bad.  A great premiere, the "Smokescreen" part one look at terror, the Wedding and the return of JAG covered a large number of subpar hours where not only were the episodes all tell and no show (a mortal sin on TV) but were recapping and repeating scenes we just saw.  And no, 45-minutes into the Nell-centric episode, the audience does not need to hear Deeks is going to get "Nell, Nell's sister Sydney" to Kensi.  Kensi and the audience are well aware of who Sydney is in that hour.

Here’s hoping season 11 is better.  

Thank you as always for reading along and your nice comments!  This fandom rocks.

[scotianostra]

Back in Edinburgh tonight, I could probably have done a different ghost tale every night from the city, they have more than their fair share of hauntings.

This is a wee bit longer than the others as a lot of the story is based around true historical facts.

The Palace of Holyroodhouse as you see it today dates from the late 17th and was built for James V, but it is his grandson James VI that this tale centres around and his cruel witch hunts.

The North Berwick Witch Trials uncovered a massive plot against the king, whereby a coven of some two hundred witches traveled to St Andrews Auld Kirkin in North Berwick, to meet by night. Their meetings were presided over by none other than the Devil himself, for apparently James VI was the Devil’s greatest enemy in all the world.

Those who follow my post might recall that James became obsessed with witches during his "courtship" with his wife to be Anne of Denmark, wild storms stopped her voyage to Scotland and by all accounts the fleet was luck not to have been wrecked and those aboard lost at sea, the Danish Admiral commanding the fleet said later he felt it must have been summoned by witchcraft, an off the cuff remark perhaps, but a witch hunt began in the country. Anyway James ended up taking the Scottish fleet to Denmark to collect her himself, and of hearing the about the hearings where "witches" had confessed their sins, decided on a course of action in Scotland that would cost countless women mainly, their lives.

As soon as he reached Scottish shores, James ordered a witch-hunt of his own, on a scale never seen before. No fewer than 70 suspects were rounded up in the coastal Scottish town of North Berwick on suspicion of raising a storm to destroy James and his new bride.

The witches allegedly began their plot with the use of weather magic, first to stall Anne’s departure and then to disrupt James’ return. One woman "confessed" to meeting a Danish witch to concoct their plot. I say confessed but these poor women were horribly tortured for weeks.

I won't go into all the names and trials as it's only the one that is said to haunt Holyroodhouse, the ghost of Agnes Sampson.

James attended some of the trials himself and on occasion the women were brought before him at the Palace, as was the case with Agnes it is said that although the witch hunts were instigated by him, he still had doubts about the veracity of the confessions and may have been sceptical about whether they were witches, all that would soon change.

Agnes initially had denied any of the charges brought against her, but then came her time in the dungeons.

Remarkably she was able to endure her ordeal for days without confessing. After having all hair shaved from her body, she was forced to stand naked, fixed against a wall by a witch’s bridle. This device was an iron muzzle in an iron framework which enclosed the head. Four sharp prongs were forced into the mouth, so two prongs pressed against the tongue and the other two against the cheeks. She stood like this for days without sleep or food. Agnes would not be easily broken.

Frustrated by Agnes’ resilience, her jailers increased the level of torture and deployed the use of a garrott. Within an hour of having the noose placed around her neck and tightened, Agnes had confessed to the fifty-three indictments against her, the chief of which were treason, consorting with the devil and witchcraft.

She was brought before the King and a council of nobles and beckoned the James to come close, so she could whisper in his ear. She revealed private details about James and Anne’s wedding night, details which should have been impossible for her to know. The King was convinced. Only a witch through her Satanic associations could come by this knowledge. From this point onward, James was an avid believer in witchcraft.

Then again, it should be noted that during this time, royal wedding nights were not private affairs. The consummation of the royal marriage bed was a public event, witnessed by important personages at court. Witnesses were seen as a necessity, because so much hinged on royal marriages. It is not beyond the realms of possibility that some royal courtier had a loose tongue and that the salacious gossip had spread throughout the local peasantry. But why would Agnes use this information against herself? Perhaps simply to end the ordeal once and for all.

On the 16th of January 1891, Agnes was taken to the scaffold on Castlehill, where she was garrotted then burnt at the stake.

Edinburgh Burgh Treasurer's accounts itemise the cost of Sampson's execution, as £6 8s 10d.

The tormented ghost of Agnes Sampson is said to roam the hallways and corridors of Holyrood Palace, tortured, naked and bald to this day.

Sightings of Bald Agnes date from the time of her execution through to the modern day. In 2014, a maintenance man was working late, trying to repair a faulty lock. He is said to have seen the spirit of Bald Agnes appear at the end of a well-lit corridor. She proceeded to limp in his direction with slow, agonised movements. Startled, the worker let out a scream of terror at which point the ghost disappeared.

Another sighting of Agnes is said to have taken place in the 1990s during a visit by the Chancellor of Germany. The unfortunate witness was a young German diplomat, who was seen running out of an office in fear. When he was questioned, he responded that he had seen a naked and transparent apparition floating mid-air with outstretched arms.

I cannot help but wonder if Agnes’ apparition ever appeared to King James in his Holyrood home. It certainly would be poetic justice for the role he played in the North Berwick Witch Trials. Perhaps it explains why he so readily left Holyrood and took up residence in London when he succeeded to the English throne, only to return to Scotland once.

You can read up about poor Agnes on a site I look in on quite regularly, Executed Today! The second pic is in the Scottish archives and is a depiction made for Sampsons Trial depicting the devil and some witches.

http://www.executedtoday.com/…/1591-agnes-sampson-north-be…/

[scottishdreams]

Edinburgh > | Zara Tindall cuts an impressive figure at the horse trial

...the Canongate Kirkin Edinburgh, Scotland.And now they live together... http://ift.tt/2mWO31I

[ejzah]

NCIS LA Season 14 Countdown, Day 9

A/N: Since I messed up yesterday, we’re doing season 4 today. And I’ve gone with yet another favorite episode, Wanted.

***

It All Began In A Bathhouse

“Alright, Deeks, we have about 20 minutes to get this set up,” Kensi said, handing him a bag that was surprisingly hefty. Behind him, Anatoli Kirkin sat on a cushioned chair, legs casually crossed, like they weren’t currently staging his death. “Make sure he knows the plan. We can’t screw this up.”

“I think I can handle it,” Deeks responded with just a touch of sarcasm in his voice. “Although, if you want to take over…” With the way Kirkin kept looking at him, he’d be fine with handing over this particular duty.

“Oh no, he is all yours,” Kensi told him in an undertone. Raising her voice, she turned to Kirkin. “Mr. Kirkin, we’re going to have you wear a device with fake blood for when your shot.”

“Believe me, this will not be the first time I have worn a squib, Agent,” Kirkin assured with an airy laugh. “When you live a life such as mine, sometimes there are…sticky situations.”

“Yeah, I’m definitely not asking,” Deeks muttered to know one in particular. Kirkin stood then, folding his hands in front of him that would have seemed disarming if Deeks didn’t know he was a dangerous arms dealer.

“So, will you or the Detective be applying this device?” His eyes flicked to Deeks, his gaze suggestive.

“Oh, this one is all on Deeks.” Making a hasty retreat, Kensi whispered, “Good luck!” As she passed Deeks, ignoring his pleading look.

“And now it’s just the two of us,” Kirkin declared. “Lucky me.”

“Yeah, fantastic.” Deeks ran his hand through his hair and grabbed the bag. Kirkin watched his every move with great interest. When he’d woken up this morning, this was not how he’d imagined his day going.

“I noticed everyone calls you Deeks,” Kirkin commented as Deeks brought over the blood packs. “Do you have a first name?”

“You know, this is supposed to be a business transaction, not s

speed dating,” Deeks reminded him. And boy that was a poor choice of words based on the way Kirkin’s face lit up. He turned coy then.

“Mm, yes, and I’ve been so cooperative so far. I’d hate for that to end over such a silly thing as a name.”

“Fine.” Glaring at him, Deeks reluctantly told him, “My first name is Martin. Marty. Now unbutton your shirt.”

“Ooh, Marty, I like that,” Kirkin sighed while he slowly unbuttoned his shirt.

“Yeah, I kind of prefer just Deeks.”

“Maaarty.”

“Ok, Kirkin, I’m going to need you to stop drawling my name in such a creepy way. While you take of your shirt,” he rambled. He shook his head a couple times. “Yeah, that’s fine.”

“You seem very nervous, Marty. You should calm down,” Kirkin suggested. He held his arms out wide, once again revealing more than Deeks wanted to see of him. True to his word though, he seemed used to the process and fortunately, didn’t interfere at all.

Once he was done, Deeks took a step back and started packing everything back up.

“Alright, you’re set. So, in the bar, you’re going to wait until Agent Hanna comes in. You’ll give me a signal—”

“Yes, I have that all figured out,” Kirkin interrupted. “When I’m ready, I’ll wink at you and your undercover agent will shoot me.”

“Pretty sure a wink isn’t standard protocol,” Deeks commented, pursing his lips.

“But it is so much more fun.” Eyeing him again, Kirkin touched the cuff of his sleeve. “You look good in this, but I preferred you at the bathhouse. Though, I have always liked the idea of dating a bartender.”

“And on that note, I will see you in the bar.”

“I look forward to it, Marty.”

Yeah, Kensi definitely wouldn’t let him live this down for a long time.

***

A/N: I just couldn’t resist the opportunity to bring Kirkin back for this countdown.

[ejzah]

Prompt: A few days after the baby is born, Kensi and Deeks receive a baby gift from Kirkin. Surprisingly it's not creepy like his past gifts of "art" and is actually sweet and thoughtful.

A/N: This was sent before Kirkin’s untimely death. I said before that I plan to keep writing stories with him if people are still interested, ignoring said death.

***

Made With Love

“You know, I think that’s the fifth woman who has gone completely gaga over you since we got here,” Kensi commented with a wry smile as a blonde woman walked away, looking like she was in danger of fainting.

“It’s just the baby,” Deeks said dismissively, smile down at the four day old baby in his arms. “Cause your the most adorable baby in the world, aren’t you Caleb?”

Caleb waved his arms enthusiastically in response. They’d driven to their favorite park, their first real outing since Kensi gave birth, and Caleb seemed to be enjoying himself.

“Right. I’m sure it has nothing to do with the your bulging muscles and extra small shirt.”

“Hey, I’m just trying to stay healthy for you guys.”

“And I must say you are doing a fabulous job.” Someone said from a few feet away and Deeks groaned, reluctantly turning to to see Anatoli Kirkin walking towards them.

“We really need to find a different park,” he muttered to Kensi before Kirkin stopped directly in front of their bench.

“You all look wonderful,” Kirkin continued, gesturing to Kensi with both hands. “You are simply glowing my dear. And the baby-“ he leaned over Deeks to get a better look-”he has your eyes, Martin. Well done.”

“Ah, thanks, Kirkin.” He was pretty sure if he looked at Kensi now, she’d be struggling to contain her laughter.

“So what brings you to a park that is almost an hour from where you live?” Kensi asked, cupping Caleb’s head as she stared at Kirkin warningly.

“Well, when I heard the good news, I couldn’t let the moment pass without seeing you.”

“So you stalked us?” Deeks summarized, earning a scandalized look from Kirkin.

“Of course not! Let’s just call it a happy coincidence,” Kirkin explained with a devious smirk.

“Uh-huh. So you’re not going to try and kidnap me again?” Kirkin waved off Deeks comment with an airy hand.

“Marty, please, that was one time. I came to deliver a little gift for the newest Deeks.” He hell up a finger and within seconds, one of Kirkin’s bodyguards appeared, holding a rectangular box.

“Kirkin, that’s very thoughtful, but you don’t have to give any of us presents,” Deeks said, thinking of past presents that had been wildly inappropriate and disturbing. God only knew what he thought would be a suitable gift for a baby.

“Oh, but I insist.” Kirkin took the box, dismissed his bodyguard and the presented it to Kensi with an air of a monarch presenting knighthood.

With an apprehensive look, Kensi glanced at Deeks as she slid off the blue ribbon and lifted the lid. Kirkin watched, his anticipation almost tangible.

“It’s a blanket,” Kensi said, sounding distinctly relieved as she pulled out an intricate crocheted blanket in various shades of blue.

“I made it myself,” Kirkin shared eagerly. “Using the finest yarn available.”

“It’s really nice. Still kind of weird, but nice. Thanks, Kirkin,”

“Ot was no trouble. The moment I heard you were expecting, I knew I needed to mark the occasion in my own small way.”

“Well, we appreciate the thought.”

“I’m glad.” Kirkin checked his watch and then added. “I’m afraid I’m must be going. Congratulations, again my friends.” He patted Kensi shoulder and winked at Deeks. “Oh, and Marty, don’t be such a stranger.”

“Do you think we’ll have anything that resembles a normal life?” Kensi asked idly, her eyes on Kirkin’s retreating figure.

“Probably not,” Deeks sighed. “But at least someday we can tell Caleb that his favorite blanket was a gift from a Russian criminal.”

***

Thanks for the prompt!

[ejzah]

A/N: The less serious and more fun fic in Kirkin’s memory. This also builds on several other stories I wrote about Kirkin gifting Deeks a variety of highly inappropriate gifts. Takes place a couple months after the latest episode.

***

One Final Gift

“Hey Deeks!” Kensi called through the house. “We just got a special delivery. Did you order something?”

“Uh, not that I can think of,” answered, walking out of the kitchen to find Kensi examining a wooden box that came up to her waist and was as wide as the average refrigerator.

“It came with this letter addressed to you.” She handed him a cream white envelope that had his name on the front in elegant script and he turned it over with a frown.

“Oh my god,” he muttered once he noticed the embossed “AK” on the front and wax seal. “Kirkin.”

“Sweetie, he’s dead,” Kensi reminded him.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean he can’t still cause some kind of mischief from beyond the grave.” For proof he gestured to the massive box.

“Well, at least open the letter.” Kensi leaned over his shoulder as he slid his finger under the seal and pulled out several sheets of folded paper. Clearing his throat, Deeks squinted at the overly ornate script and started reading,

“Dear Martin,

If you are reading this letter, it means I have met an untimely death. I like to think that despite the mistakes I made earlier in my life, that I have made a positive mark in this world in the recent past.

My only regret is that we did not have more time together. Although I realize that we may not have ever been more than friends, I cherished each moment with you, as fleeting as they often were.”

Deeks paused to glance at Kensi and rolled his eyes. So far the letter was perfectly Kirkin through and through. He made it almost sound like they’d had a forbidden romance.

“I could not let our long-standing relationship go without leaving you some small token. Please accept these two gifts as a sign of my deepest affection and gratitude. Since my previous gifts were not always to your taste, I have left my pride and joy, my greatest ambition, my House of a Kirkin to you. You will find the transfer of ownership and all necessary papers included in this letter. Hopefully it will ease any financial burdens you may come to know.”

“Holy crap!” Deeks said, turning to Kensi who appeared as equally shocked. “He left me his freaking business.” He pulled out the accompanying set of documents, the first of which bore his name at the very top.

“Is that even legal?” Kensi asked after a minute.

“I mean ethically and by NCIS standards, probably not. But all the papers are legit.” He shrugged. “For all intents and purposes, I technically own a fashion line. Worth $10,000,000.”

“You’re joking.” Kensi came to peer over his shoulder again, shaking her head in disbelief. “Clearly we need to quit our jobs.”

“Wait, I didn’t read what’s in the box yet,” Deeks reminded her, clearing his throat again.

“I also want to take a moment to thank Kensi for always being a kindred spirit. We had so much in common, the least of which was our love for you. I always appreciated her understanding and camaraderie.

Be well my friend,

Anatoli.

P.S. Kensi will most likely appreciate my second gift more than you, Marty. Enjoy, my dear.”

“I bet it’s the Kirkin collection,” Kensi cackled excitedly, reaching to pry off the boards.

“Why are you so excited. Every single one of his designs was hideous. And fairly horrifying.”

“Because you swore you would never wear them again, but now you totally have to.” She flashed a grin his way as she pulled out her pocket knife and began loosening the nails keeping the box lid in place.

Despite himself, Deeks was mildly curious himself and started helping Kensi. Within a couple minute the last nail popped out and the door fell away, uncovering a blanket of cotton which Deeks gingerly removed.

This times Kensi actually squealed as he revealed a painting. Not just any painting; it looked like a Kirkin original.

“Oh, this is so much better than clothes,” she gasped, removing the picture which was done in fine oil paint and featured Deeks leaning against a surfboard in the fading sunlight. “Thank you, Kirkin!”

“He never even saw me with a surfboard,” Deeks protested, pointing at his perfectly rendered body.

“Not that you know of.”

“Ew, Kens, why would you say that?” She ignored his disturbed expression in favor of setting the first picture aside and digging deeper into the box.

“Geez, there’s like an entire gallery in here,” Kensi said coming out with two smaller portraits that would easily fit on their walls. If they weren’t borderline pornographic.

“He certainly had a good memory.” Kensi sighed deeply, not seeing Deeks’ glare, and handed him the two current paintings so she could continue her search.

Resigning himself to several more minutes of torture, Deeks stood by while she carefully took out roughly 20 more portraits that ranged from full-sized to miniature cameos in every medium imaginable. A couple even featured both him and Kensi. And one truly disturbing one, which Deeks hoped never to see again, pictured him staring deeply into Kirkin’s eyes.

When the entire living room was lined with images of Deeks, Kensi turned around with her hands on her hips, nodding in a satisfied way.

“I think this is my favorite,” she decided, pointing to one of Deeks in a three piece suit. “Or maybe the surfing one.”

“I feel sick,” he muttered, plopping down in a chair. Deeks sat down next to him, still holding the portrait, and wrapped her free arm around his shoulders.

“Oh come on, baby. Kirkin was just trying to be nice.”

“I know he meant well, but these-” he jerked his finger at one that featured his chest and abs in stunning, oh so disturbing detail- “will never not be creepy.” Actually that one must have been painted fairly recently since Deeks recognized the pants from his photo shoot.

“Well if helps, at least none of these will make it into unsavory hands,” Kensi pointed out.

“True.”

“And this one will be the perfect addition to our new home.”

“Kensi-”

“It will tie our bedroom theme together.”

“Kensi, I’m not hanging that picture up,” he said in what he hoped was a severe tone.

“Baby, it’s what Kirkin would have wanted,” she reminded him, turning towards the bedroom with a thoughtful look. “Or, we could put it in the guest bedroom. Start our own little gallery.”

“Damn you, Kirkin,” Deeks groaned, chuckling to himself. “You got me again. Well played, my friend, well played.”

***

A/N: Thanks to @psyched1328 for letting me use her idea involving the paintings/drawings.

[ejzah]

Can u a story about an alternate version of Densi’s wedding where Kirkin’s actual goal all along was to kidnap the groom aka DEEKS. XD

A/N: I know I have others stories waiting, but this one spoke to me. The events of the episode are a little altered to fit the prompt and I’ve excluded the guys that came after Kirkin.

***

“I cannot believe Kirkin actually tried to kidnap me on my wedding day,” Deeks said, shaking his head. He rubbed his eyes with his forefinger and thumb. As if he needed the additional stress.

Callen patted him on the shoulder, consolingly and with surprising sincerity.

“Well, hopefully he got the message,” he said. On the other side of him, Sam shook his head, looking equally amused and annoyed.

“Only you would have a Russian criminal who’s obsessed with you and won’t take no for an answer.” Deeks glared at him.

“I’m glad you find this funny, Sam.”

“Hey, you woke me up in the middle of the night after you broke into my boat. You’re lucky I’m in such a good mood,” Sam said, looking pointedly at Deeks.

“Point taken.” Deeks sighed and scratched at his head, already feeling exhausted. This day was already 20 times more stressful than he’d been expecting. “Well, I’m gonna go to the mission and see if I can find my box.”

“Good luck,” Callen offered, clapping him on the shoulder again. “We’ll meet you at the venue.” As they headed to their cars, Deeks prayed that the excitement was over for the day. He didn’t think his nerves could take anymore.

***

Deeks stared at the ring and letter Kensi had given him, completely overwhelmed. Kensi was somewhere in the building, presumably getting ready with her bridesmaids, and it was taking all his effort not to find her and say to hell with tradition.

He glanced down at his watch and swore under his breath. The guests would be arriving soon and he hadn’t even started to get changed. He grabbed the garment bag with his suit and stripped off his jacket and shirt. There was a slight noise behind him, followed by a horribly familiar voice.

“I see I’ve come at the perfect time.” Deeks yelped and spun around, automatically reaching for his gun, which he belatedly remembered he’d left at work, and covering half his chest with the other.

“Kirkin, jesus, how the hell did you get in here?” he hissed. “And-and more importantly, what are you doing here? Again.” Kirkin just stared for a moment, glancing at his bare chest with a small smirk.

“Maaarty, you must know I will always come for you,” he answered with disturbing sincerity. He sighed deeply, eyes straying back to Deeks chest. “It has been too long since we’ve been together like this.” Deeks took a step back.

“Ok, first of all, that is probably one of the most creepy things you have ever said, which is saying something,” Deeks said, ticking off points on his finger. Callen and Sam would never let him live this down. “Secondly, I specifically told you that I did not need, or want, you to rescue me or whatever the hell you think you’re doing right now. And let me reiterate, this is super creepy.”

Kirkin’s expression turned to one of sympathy, which was even more disconcerting. If that was possible.

“I know, Martin. But it occurred to me that the two of us have never been given a fair chance. Ever since that day we met, there has been something undeniable between us, but we’ve never been given the opportunity to fully explore it.”

“If you’re referring to your complete insanity, then yes, that it definitely between us.” Kirkin tilted his head, reaching out to touch Deeks’ arm with the top of his finger.

“You have always had such a wonderful sense of humor,” he gushed. Deeks rolled his eyes and reached into the pocket of his jeans.

“M’kay, I’m texting my team. You better hope Kensi doesn’t get in on this, because she will pulverize you. And then there’s her five bridesmaids and mom, who have been looking forward to this day for years,” Deeks said, typing as he spoke. Kirkin cleared his throat, slipping his hand beneath his suit jacket to pull out a gun.

“I wouldn’t do that Martin. You are coming with me. Now.”

***

“Hey, have you seen Deeks?” Callen asked, as Nell passed him in the hall, likely on the way to start directing guests.

“Um, no, why?” She turned around, clearly sensing that something else was going on.

“We were supposed to run through his vows with him 20 minutes ago, but he never showed. And now we can’t find him.” Nell’s brows furrowed and she grabbed her phone.

“We’ve already tried calling him,” Sam said. “He didn’t pick up.”

“That’s not a good sign,” she murmured. “But I was actually going to check the security cameras. I can tap into a few and see where he’s been.” She tapped at her phone a bit more, staring at the screen and then after a few minutes, frowned again. “What is Kirkin doing here?”

Sam and Callen immediately crowded on either side of her, watching over her shoulder.

“Oh, that is not good,” Callen muttered, glancing at Sam.

“Ok, you guys need to tell me what’s going on. Like right now,” Nell said, lowering the phone for a moment.

“Kirkin showed up earlier today and tried to “rescue” Deeks,” Sam explained.

“You’re joking.”

“I wish was.” Nell sighed and resumed watching the surveillance feed.

“Well, let’s see where he went. He better not mess this up for Kensi and Deeks or I will kill him. I do not have the patience to wait around while they plan a second wedding,” she said and Callen smirked at Sam over her head.

“Hm, it looks like he went into Deeks’ dressing room. That’s a little creepy.”

“Uh guys,” Eric interrupted, appearing in the hallway with a harried expression. “What’s going on? Guests are starting to arrive, the bridal party is almost ready and they’re wondering where everyone else is at.”

“We think Anatoli Kirkin might have kidnapped Deeks,” Sam explained shortly.

“Are you serious? Why aren’t we doing anything about it?”

“Because you’re still talking.” Sam gestured to Nell’s phone. “Did they come out?”

“Yes...and Kirkin took him, by gun point, to what looks like a lounge at the other end of the building,” Nell said. “So far they’re still in there unless they left through one of the windows.

“Ok, we’ll go retrieve Deeks. And you guys are in charge of making sure that Kensi doesn’t find out anything about this. Got it?” Callen instructed. They both nodded and scurried off.

“C’mon partner, let’s save Deeks from his crazy Russian boyfriend.”

***

“So what exactly is your plan, Kirkin?” Deeks asked, the skepticism clear in his voice. After Kirkin had pulled the gun on him, he’d lead him to a small room, ensuring Deeks’ compliance with the threat of violence if necessary. Part of Deeks thought he was probably bluffing, but he also didn’t want to underestimate him.

“I have my men waiting outside. When the time is right, we will make our escape,” Kirkin replied, clearly pleased with himself.

“Yeah, that’s not going to work. You know that, right? Even if you make it out the door, my team will take you down. There’s no way they haven’t missed me by now.” Kirkin patted him on the shoulder consolingly.

He hadn’t let Deeks put his shirt back on and he was feeling distinctly exposed and...nipply. He retreated to other side of the room and sat down in a small love seat. He’d known something would go wrong and boy had he been right. He felt a grim sense of satisfaction that his intuition had been so on point.

“Don’t worry, Marty, my men will protect us. And then we will be free to be together.”

The door to the room burst open, smacking off the wall as Callen and Sam appeared in the doorway. They were both armed and dressed in their tuxes.

“I wouldn’t count on it,” Sam said darkly. Kirkin reached for Deeks again and Sam moved in on him, pointing his gun directly at his head. “Don’t even think about it.”

Kirkin wisely took a few steps back and dropped his weapon on the ground. Sam kicked it away.

“You ok, Deeks?” Callen asked, frowning as he took in Deeks’ bare chest.

“Well, I was almost kidnapped on my wedding day, we have about 300 guests waiting for me and Kensi to get married and I think I’m on the verge of a panic attack,” he summed up and then blew out a long breath. “No, I’m not doing great.”

“Put your hands behind your back, Kirkin,” Sam ordered.

“Gentleman, I’m sure we can all overlook this small understanding and just go about our business,” Kirkin said in what was apparently supposed to be a charming tone. Sam just shook his head and gestured for Callen to cuff him.

“Why aren’t you wearing a shirt?” Sam asked Deeks eventually.

“Don’t ask,” Deeks told him firmly. Kirkin shot him an appealing look and then sighed.

“I will never forget the first time we met, frolicking naked together,” he said reminiscently. Deeks frowned, wondering what fantasy world the man was living in.

“Ok, that’s not what happened. I was undercover at a Russian bathhouse and I’m sorry to break your heart there, Kirkin, but I was not frolicking because I don’t frolick. I have never frolicked,” he clarified firmly.

“You are a frolicker and you know it,” Kirkin said in what Deeks assumed was supposed to be a seductive tone, leaning towards him.

“This is the worst wedding ever,” Deeks retorted, sitting down again and crossing his arms.

“Guys, what the hell is going on? The ceremony is supposed to start in five minutes,” Kensi said, running through the door, closely followed by a harried looking Eric and Nell. It took her approximately 10 seconds to notice Kirkin. “What the are you doing here?”

“You had one job,” Sam said to Nell and Eric. Nell shrugged, gesturing to Kensi.

“What can I say, she threatened to hurt us if we didn’t tell her where you were,” she explained. Somehow Deeks didn’t think Nell had put up that much of a fight.

Kensi glanced at Deeks and then back at Kirkin, who raised his hands defensively as she descended on him. Dressed in her wedding dress, and with a look of pure fury on her face, she had never looked more beautiful to Deeks. Even though she was unarmed, she was frightening.

“Kensi, you look lovely,” Kirkin tried.

“Kirkin, did you try to kidnap my fiancé?” she asked in a dangerous voice. He took another step backwards.

“Please, you must understand, Kensi. You know how irresistible Martin is. His hair, his muscles. I could not help myself.” Kensi made an incredulous sound and shook her head and shoved Kirkin into a chair.

“Unbelievable,” she muttered. That seemed to be the general consensus.

Callen had moved over to the side and was on his phone. From the sound of it, he was calling in reinforcements. Apparently he and Sam had taken out a Kirkin’s cronies before making their grand entrance.

Kensi sat down next to Deeks and ran her fingers through his hair, looking concerned.

“Are you ok, baby?” she asked, checking him over. He laid a hand over hers, holding it in place and nodded.

“Yeah. I may be about to have a nervous break down, or possibly a stroke, but otherwise, I’m fine.”

“I love you,” she whispered, leaning her head against his. He sighed, leaning into her touch. “Let’s get married.” He grinned at that, feeling content for the first time in hours.

“Let’s get married,” he agreed.

“You should probably put some more clothes on,” Callen suggested with just a hint of a smirk.

“I’ll go help him change,” Eric offered. Kensi linked their fingers as she tugged him up. As they left the room, Kirkin reached towards Kensi with a desperate expression.

“Kensi, don’t hurt him,” he begged. “You know, we could always work something out between the three of us!” Sam jerked him back, not being particularly gentle.

“I’m gonna need a lot of champagne,” Deeks sighed as they left the room, Kirkin being led by Nell and Callen, while Sam brought up the rear.

“Or vodka.” Kensi added.

***

A/N: As creepy as he is, I have so much fun writing Kirkin. Sadly, Hetty didn’t quite fit into this one with the changes to the plot. Some dialogue is pulled directly from “Till Death Do Us Part”.

Thanks for the prompt!

[typingtess]

Tiptoeing through the guest cast of “Till Death Do Us Part”

Not invited to the wedding press release – Nia Long.

Peter Jacobson as Special Prosecutor John Rogers Pamela Reed as Roberta Deeks Both are back from "Into the Breach" week before last.

Medalion Rahimi as NCIS Special Agent Fatima Namazi Third appearance in the last four episodes.  Appeared in both ends of the "Smokescreen" two-parter.

Ravil Isyanov as Anatoli Kirkin Last seen in "Warrior of Peace" last season.  By the way- Daddy Callen is one of the big open storylines left as we get into the final third of season 10.

Laura Harring as Julia Feldman Last seen going for a morning cocktail with Roberta in "Sirens" in season eight.

From Laura Harring on Twitter.

John Harlan Kim as Technical Operator Fang Kong Li Plays Ezekiel Jones in The Librarians and was Dale "Macca" McGregor in the Australian soap Neighbours (waves hi to @sonyarebecchi).

David Shatraw as Sherman “The Suit” Bernstein Played Tommy Shafter in Titus.  Guest starred as Bobby Quinn in the "Rock and a Hard Place" episode of NCIS in season 11 (the Keith Carradine episode).

Guest roles include Six Feet Under, Reba, NYPD Blue, Oliver Beene, The West Wing, Girlfriends, Cold Case, Las Vegas, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, Tell Me You Love Me, The Closer, The Starter Wife, Leverage, The Game, All My Children, Days of Our Lives, Castle, Rush Hour and Cobra Kai.

Alyshia Ochse as Mandy Guest starred in episode of How I Met Your Mother, Days of Our Lives, Casual: The Series, Melissa & Joey, General Hospital, Hart of Dixie, The Flip Side, True Detective (season one), Satisfaction, Life Sentence, Ballers and The Purge.

Set photo 1, set photo 2.

Kristen Henry King as Mindy King plays J.J. on Jane the Virgin and appeared in episodes of The Bold and the Beautiful, How I Met Your Mother, Dark Blue, Baby Daddy, Community and Grown-ish.

Set photo 1, set photo 2.

Erin Alexis as Kat Was Sapphire in ABC's GCB and guest starred in episodes of True Blood, Hart of Dixie, Faking It, Happy Thoughts and You're the Worst.

Evan Judson as Abagor Played Bardelli, one of the paramedics, on ER.  Appeared in episodes of Burn Notice and Ballers.

Owen Saxon as Tony Appeared in episodes of Lethal Weapon, General Hospital and Shooter.

Written by: R. Scott Gemmill wrote/cowrote “The Only Easy Day”, “Brimstone”, “Breach”, “LD50”, “Found”, “Borderline”, “Absolution”, “Archangel”, “Tin Soldiers”, “Impostors”, “Cyberthreat”, “Honor”, “The Watchers” and both sides of the NCIS Los: Angeles/Hawaii Five-0 “Touch of Death” episodes, “Recruit”, “Free Ride”, “Wanted”, “Ravens and The Swans”, “Impact”, “War Cries”, both ends of the “Deep Trouble” season five finale/season six premiere, “Inelegant Heart”, “Praesidium”, “Traitor”, “Active Measures” (season seven premiere), “Blame It On Rio”, “Internal Affairs”, “Matryoshka” part one,  “Talion” (season seven finale), “High Value Target"/"Belly of the Beast” (season eight premieres), "The Queen's Gambit", "Under Siege", "Unleashed" (season eight finale), "Party Crashers" (season nine's premiere), "This Is What We Do" (episode 200), "Các Tù Nhân", "Goodbye Vietnam", "Ninguna Salida" (the season nine finale), "Hit List" and "Asesinos".

Directed by: Tony Wharmby, welcome back!  This is his first episode since season eight.  Tony Wharmby directed “Legend” part one, “Predator”, “Callen, G.” (season one finale), “Special Delivery”, “Deliverance”, “Archangel”, “Harm’s Way”, “Lange, H.”, “Honor”, “The Watchers”, “The Dragon and the Fairy”, the NCIS: Los Angeles end of the Hawaii Five-0 “Touch of Death” crossover (written by Gemmill), “Dead Body Politic”, “Gold Standard”, both “Red” episodes, “Reznikov, N.”, “Iron Curtain Rising”, “Zero Days”, “One More Chance”, “Humbug”, "Fighting Shadows” and "Getaway".

[typingtess]

NCIS: LOS ANGELES:  "Till Death Do Us Part" Act Four

The mob guy, with his lawyer, are willing to cooperate if they go light on his "nephew".  The lawyer explains that Kirkin set up his own kidnapping to see who was interested in his crime empire.  Whoever would go after the crime empire while Kirkin was kidnapped would be bright to light by his kidnapping.

Bertie arrives and walks right into interrogation.  She's a scream.  I am working the term "banjo eyes" into my everyday vocabulary.  She is there to fix Sam's dress shirt.  Bertie stabs him with a needle.  

Deeks:  "Mom, stop touching Sam." Sam:  "I'm fine."   Bertie:  "I'll say."   Oh God, Bertie needs her own show.

Kensi and the bridesmaids scene.

Callen gets a call from Fatima.  Kirkin was not at the location provided by the mob guy.  Fatima tells the guys to enjoy the wedding.  

Eric toasts "the happy couple".  Nell adds Kensi and Deeks too.

A couple of Russian mob guys arrive.  Eric and Nell take selfies with the mob guys in the background.  Facial rec ID's them.  Kirkin is at the wedding.

Callen and Sam try to deal with the mob guys, leaving Deeks alone.

Nell tells Kirkin to go with her if he wants to live.  Eric follows the mob guys, who pull a gun on him.  He gets the gun away from the mob guys.  Yay Eric!