#Kraft-Tex

[craftdiscoveries]

I use my bed as an extra work surface all the time. 😁 I've been playing around with Kraft-Tex again. I queued up a journal I just finished for tomorrow.

I'm thinking of combining red and orange Kraft-Tex for my next journal. Btw, I found that Big Shot die cutter at Savers for only $9.99!

I picked up the Olfa rotary cutter this weekend on sale and, wow! It cuts with hardly any effort. I was feeling a little guilty because it's kind of spendy, but it's a great tool that'll last for years, so no regurts.

I also picked up this fabric in the sale bin. I've been wanting to make a nature journal of sorts with my watercolors, and the floral/herbal one will be perfect. I got the other one just because it's adorable.

What's going on in your creative space?

[strangeaeonbooks]

Kraft-tex and Suminagashi

After showing the wonderful folks at Tint Makerspace, in Falls Church Virginia, some book cloth made with fat quarters from their store, they asked about the suminagashi pastedowns/end pages I had used. I described the process and they handed over some sample sheets of kraft-tex, a fabric-like paper product that can be sewn, and asked if I'd run some tests to see if it would work for suminagashi. Always willing to try some new materials and techniques, I of course agreed.

I wasn't sure on the level of absorption of the kraft-tex, having worked entirely with watercolor paper, mohawk superfine, and rice paper in the past. So I broke down the experiment into dipping dry sheets and pre-soaked sheets into the pans. I had heard about pre-treating paper for marbling before, so I thought I'd give it a try and see.

To give it the best chance, I also let the paper float in the pan for 30 or so seconds to give it more time for the kraft-tex to absorb the inks.

The dry sheets turned out to give the best results, but to be honest, I don't think I'd call this a slam dunk for their usability. The white kraft-tex was the only one that gave "ok" results, and you can see the white kraft-tex in comparison with my gold standard for suminagashi, Mohawk Superfine.

The Pre-soak didn't work at all, maybe there is another paper prep method that would help, but personally I'll be sticking to my Mohawk and heavy watercolor papers. Though, I think I'll try weathering some kraft-tex to make a book cover one of these days, I've read that it can make for a pleasing leather-like look and feel.

[masoncarr2244]

[echoes-lighthouse]

To answer a couple of questions that were asked in the tags of my Thomas Jefferson intro

a) for @astronomicalgarbage, who asks if my Jefferson has a thing for Mac and Cheese:

Absofuckinglutely. There's an ongoing fight between me (Canadian) and him (American) about whether Kraft Dinner counts as mac and cheese or an abomination before the lord, and it's one of our favourite meaningless battles. We also correct each other's spelling on papers of words like favourite/favorite and colour/color.

b) for @tex-treasures, who wanted to know our favourite Pokemon and our favourite art periods!

My favourite Pokemon is Ditto, same as it is IRL ^-^ I also have a soft spot for Caterpie and Eevee. My favourite art period is the Pre-Raphaelites.

Thomas's favourite Pokemon are uhhhhhh Luxray, Rayquaza, and he likes Vulpix content. I feel like I don't have the actual knowledge to say what an actual fan like him would like! He likes Neo-Classicalism and chibi art -_-

c) finally, the big question from several people, IS THIS AN APRIL FOOL'S PRANK?

Short answer: yes, I thought it would be fun to do for April Fool's, Miku Binder Thomas Jefferson is not going to be a member of my F/O list. But I do appreciate everyone who turned out to support me <3 <3

Long answer: LMM's version of Thomas Jefferson was genuinely one of the first ten characters I drew selfship art with. As much as I like the aesthetics of the character, I simply have no desire to dive back into that fandom and the politics thereof. My Hamilton/Les Mis era of my life was one of rampant idealism and huge energy and I feel very far away from that earnest wide-eyed first year who was making eight-hour drives to the capital to wave signs on the weekend.

If I was going to selfship with LMM's Thomas Jefferson, I would probably make my own modern design without some of the details from Miku Binder TJeff, but with the same nostalgia for the exaggerated characteristics of the Hamilton fandom (ie. Alex never sleeps, Laurens loves turtles, Lafayette is nonbinary, Thomas loves mac and cheese, everyone has dated everyone else).

But ultimately I'm not going to put in that work. Suffice to say that although this was an April Fool's prank, it was with a lot of heart and genuine enjoyment that I got to explore this dynamic!

[pogaytosalad]

I just made some fucking kickass chip dip

I have no idea what the measurements were but it's made of sour cream, sweet onion kraft salad dressing, garlic powder, salt, various herbs, parmesan cheese, and tex mex shredded cheese.

Mix and then microwave for 1 minute.

[fiftytwotwentythree]

Wellness Wednesday:

An Off Week...

This week has been a bit odd... first off...

I was so exhausted that I slept through a workout..

Had bizarre exchange with a friend...

I took some short notice/impromptu PTO from work...

I attended a wedding out of state...

My sleep schedule was beyond obliterated that I felt like a zombie for an entire night...

And

I had to report to my works HQ for the first time in over 3 years

I was a bit shocked to discover that I still was able to function and lose weight.

But

Beyond All That...

Tomorrow, I am going to see the new Indiana Jones Movie.

Despite what the haters say - I am going in with an open mind and open heart.

I am very excited.

In other news - I found a new love - reading comics via kindle. Man Alive, I've been reading up a storm.

.

.

26th CHECK-IN:

Current Goals:

Lose 52 lbs

Completed as of 4/12/2023

New Goal: Maintain or Continue on The Weight Loss Path

Avoid "Junk Food"

Minimize Take-Out / Fast Food Consumption

Short Term:

Vegetarian-ish Diet: Completed

End Date: 4/09/2023 - 46 Days Total

.

.

Meal Tracker:

THURSDAY

Lunch:

Ham, Chicken, Turkey and American Cheese of a Toasted Everything Bagel

Snack:

Bag of Orville Redenbacher Ultimate Butter Popcorn

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

Supper:

Can of Campbell's Chunky Chili: Hot & Spicy with Beans

- 8 Crackers

(6) Farm Rich Mozzarella Sticks

FRIDAY

Lunch:

American Pasta Salad with Chicken

Snack:

(1) Medium Orange

Supper:

Large Bowl of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese

- (1) Chopped Hotdog

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

Bag of Orville Redenbacher Ultimate Butter Popcorn

SATURDAY

Lunch:

Sliced Chicken and Pepperjack Cheese on a Toasted Everything Bagel

Snack:

(5) Handfuls of Smartfood's White Cheddar Popcorn

(2) Glasses of Orange Juice

Supper:

Can of Wild Planet's Wild Tuna, Bean & Corn Salad

(2) Individual Bags of Wonderful's Shelled Salt & Pepper Pistachios

(2) Handfuls of Good & Gather's Tex Mex Trail Mix

SUNDAY

Lunch:

StarKist Smart Bowls Rice & Beans with Tuna: Spicy Pepper

(2) Individual Bags of Wonderful's Shelled Salt & Pepper Pistachios

(2) Small Bowls of Smartfood's White Cheddar Popcorn

Handful of Good & Gather's Tex Mex Trail Mix

Supper:

Cesaer Salad

(1) Medium Orange

Handful of Good & Gather's Tex Mex Trail Mix

MONDAY

Lunch:

Chef Salad

(2) Handfuls of Good & Gather's Tex Mex Trail Mix

Snack:

(2) Bowls of Valley Top Popcorn

Supper:

Santa Fe Style Salad

(1) Medium Orange

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

TUESDAY

Lunch:

Chef Salad

Handful of Wonderful's Salt & Vinegar Pistachios

Supper:

Santa Fe Style Salad

(1) Medium Orange

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

WEDNESDAY

Lunch:

American Style Pasta Salad with Chicken

Handful of Good & Gather's Tex Mex Trail Mix

Handful of Wonderful's Smokey BBQ Pistachios

Supper:

Large Bowl of Leftover Kraft Macaroni and Cheese

- (2) Chopped Up Hotdogs

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

Handful of Good & Gather's Tex Mex Trail Mix

.

.

Workouts:

THURSDAY

*** REST DAY ***

Too Tired to Workout - Fell Asleep and Missed Workout

FRIDAY

*** Morning Workout ***

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(100) Sit-Ups [5 Sets of 20]

*** Evening Workout ***

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(5 min) Planks [5 Sets of 1 min]

SATURDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(100) Sit-Ups [5 Sets of 20]

SUNDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(5 min) Planks [5 Sets of 1 min]

MONDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(100) Sit-Ups [5 Sets of 20]

TUESDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [5 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(5 min) Planks [5 Sets of 1 min]

WEDNESDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges[4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(100) Sit-Ups [5 Sets of 20]

.

.

WEIGHT TRACKER:

Starting Weight (Noon, 1/01/2023): XXX.X lbs

Weight at Last Check-In, 6/21/2023: -3.4 lbs

Weight As of Noon, 6/28/2023: -3.0 lbs

Total Weight Loss: -76.2 lbs

.

.

Closing Thoughts:

The Good:

Lost another 3 pounds - Lost over 75 in total.

The Bad:

Feel out of whack in the universe due to anomalies in my schedule. Like a living zombie.

The Ugly:

Again! With the awful sleep schedule!

[notwhelmedyet]

My latest bookbinding project - a wedding guestbook for a friend of mine! Personal details on the title page are redacted ;)

Construction rambling beneath the cut

The book is a criss-cross longstitch binding, which allows it to open flat for writing. Many thanks to @queercore-curriculum for introducing me to this binding style and answering questions while I was sussing it out.

It's assembled from heavyweight Stonehenge paper, which I hand-deckled (aka tore to size after scoring and wetting the pages). Hand deckling is a lot of fun, but it takes approximately forever.

Only after I deckled every sheet of paper did I realize I could no longer run it through the printer...so the lettering is hand done with a tiny brush and liquid watercolor pigment. This is because I am an idiot and did not think to use a waterfast ink. please do not spill anything on the book.

The spine is made of kraft-tex, which is a (presumably plastic treated) leather-like paper product. I'd gotten some to experiment with because bookbinding leather is expensive and it works quite well for this style of binding.

I dyed the thread and linen cover fabric by hand. You can tell if you look carefully that one of the sets of pages is from a separate batch of thread after I accidentally snapped the first thread trying to tension it and had to resew

I made the faux headbands around a core of pasted tissue this time & it worked great! a much better core than using twine because it doesn't want to unravel on you. I didn't get a good photograph of them but the endbands are very classy and stripy and show off the gradient thread.

For the endpapers I was experimenting with both hooked endpapers (the fabric half) and doublures (the paper on the inside covers). I fucked up the hooked endpaper side by gluing by reinforcing paper on the wrong side which mostly has lead to the book being a bit resistant to opening/closing. If I do this again I will carefully not do that.

And then the decorations are done in straw marquetry :3 do not ask how many times I redid parts of that heart inset, I do not want to talk about it.

[solkatts-svenska]

Swedish-English false friends

Corrections/additions appreciated!

Aktuell — actual relevant/current

Egentlig, faktisk — actual, real

Annonsera — announce advertise

Att tillkännage — to announce

En blankett — blanket form (a blanc document to be filled in)

En filt — blanket

Eventuellt — eventually possibly

Äntligen — eventually, finally

Hugga — hug chop, stab

att krama — to hug

Högtid — high time celebration, fest

Dags — high time, the due time for something to happen

Kinkig — kinky tricky/petulant

Krullig — kinky (of hair), kinky, pervers — kinky (of people

Kraft (en) — craft force, power

Hantverk (en) — craft

Mondän — mundane sophisticated, chic

Trivial, vardaglig — mundane

En paragraf — paragraph section, chapter

Ett stycke — paragraph, portion of text

En pensel — pencil paintbrush

En blyertspenna — pencil

En semester — semester holiday

En termin — semester

Spirituell — spiritual witty

Andlig, religiös — spiritual

En vrist — wrist ankle

En handled — wrist

Vinka — wink wave (one’s hand)

Att blinka — to wink

En vikarie — vicar substitute (tex: lärarvikarie — substitute teacher)

En kyrkoherde — vicar

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

If I Fell For You (Part 3) - A Moment

Summary: Jensen is away from home for a few days but isn’t having the easiest time being away from the kids for the first time since the accident. When he returns home, he has a gala to attend on Saturday night but a kiss on the cheek and slip of the tongue will snowball into the reader and Jensen sharing a moment...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 6,100ish

Warnings: language, death of a spouse, death of a parent, anxiety, self-worth problems, referenced past harassment

A/N: I love this part so much for so many reasons. Please enjoy!

________

“Hi Jensen,” you asked Monday night when your phone rang. “How was your flight earlier?”

“Same old same old. I just got out of work,” he said with a yawn. “Gonna grab a bite out with a friend. Kids eat dinner okay?”

“We had honey sriracha glazed salmon with brussel sprouts and roasted red potatoes.”

“Really?”

“They had kraft mac and cheese and I had Taco Bell.”

“See this is why I like you,” he chuckled.

“I’ll try the salmon again tomorrow. I was gonna make it but they didn’t have any at the store,” you said, opening the fridge and taking out a pint of ice cream. “Hey can I have what’s left of this mint ice cream?”

“Sure. Pick some more up for me sometime before friday please,” he said. “Also, Taco Bell? You do realize we live in freaking Austin right. There are literally hundreds of places you can go that have better mexican food.”

“Yeah but fake cheese tastes good,” you said. He laughed and your stomach rumbled. “I so should have gotten more than two tacos.”

“You in the kitchen?” he asked. You hummed and you heard him let out an oof in the background.

“Yeah. You alright?”

“This bed in my hotel room is comfy,” he said. “But I was starting to say, go in the drawer at the end of the counter by the table. There’s only five hundred gajillion take out menus in there. Order a treat for yourself. It’s on me.”

“Jensen. I can get my own dinner.”

“True but you’re on call 24/7 until I get back.”

“Well in that case I bet you got a menu for a fancy steakhouse in here somewhere,” you teased as you picked up one for a tex mex looking restaurant. “Does this place really have quesadillas this big?”

“You must be looking at the menu on top. I almost ordered from there last week actually. The food’s great. They do delivery too. Just buzz the guy into the gate when they get there.”

“Any recommendations?” you asked, taking out the menu and flipping it over.

“Quesadillas are good. Loaded nachos are amazing. I’ve literally never had a bad thing from there,” he said. “To be honest I’d rather be getting that than where I’m going tonight.”

“Why’s that?” you asked, reading through your options, surprised to find such good prices.

“I have to wear a suit,” he said with a sigh. “After being poked and prodded all day I literally would rather just eat crap and watch food network.”

“How long have you known this friend of yours?” you asked.

“Twenty years, why?”

“Then you guys knew each other when you were young. It’s not too late out there. Call him, see if he’d rather get some crap food, a six pack and just catch up on his couch or in your room. I’m pretty sure he’s more looking forward to seeing an old friend again than the food,” you said.

“You make very good points. I should pay you more,” he said.

“You pay me plenty and barely let me spend a dime of my money on myself,” you said. “I don’t need more.”

“You got that fancy computer though.”

“You literally have the exact same mac in your office.”

“You moved in like three boxes and two computers,” he said.

“An ipad is not a computer,” you said.

“Debatable.”

“Well I like to draw sometimes and it’s easier on an ipad when you’re laying in bed,” you said. 

“Are you any good?” he asked.

“No.”

“I bet they’re really good,” he said as you rolled your eyes. “I see you draw with the kids sometimes and those are good.”

“It’s a hobby is all,” you said, leaning back against the counter, your stomach grumbling again. “Anything else you want me to grab at the store? I’m going to hit it tomorrow while everyone’s at school.”

“Nah. Get the usual stuff,” he said. “The kiddos in bed?”

“Yeah, got the last one down about fifteen minutes ago,” you said. He hummed and you heard the sigh in it. “I got a video of them playing earlier I’ll send you.”

“Thanks. It’s my first night away from them in a long time. Normally I’m able to come back same day. I was kinda hoping they’d still be awake to say goodnight.”

“They’re safe and sound dad. We’ll call again after school tomorrow to talk like today,” you said.

“Yeah,” he breathed out. He was quiet and you pulled the phone away, taking a deep breath. 

“You okay?” 

“I haven’t been alone like this in a really long time.”

“I know. You check out your backpack yet?”

“No. Why?”

“You didn’t bring a jacket with you so I put that yellow hoodie that’s always on the hook in there in case you got cold.”

“That was Dee’s hoodie.”

“I was pretty sure it was,” you said. You heard him shuffle around briefly before he hummed, much happier that time. “I thought you might like to have a piece of...something-”

“I really don’t pay you enough,” he said quietly. “Thanks for putting this in there. I need something from home more than I realized.”

“Well put it on, call up your buddy and have some fun tonight, Ackles. Nanny’s orders.” He laughed and you felt that twinge in your stomach again, your eyes quickly closing.

“I will. Hey you mind if I call again tomorrow night? I don’t have any plans and sitting in a hotel room by myself isn’t very fun.” You smiled and felt heat in your cheeks, quickly thinking it away. He wanted company for a few minutes was all and you were friends. It was completely normal to talk with friends on the phone everyday.

“Of course. As long as you get a dinner in at some point that’s more than fine with me,” you said. “We can talk about The Bachelor!”

“Oh God no,” he groaned, chuckling after a few seconds. “I’ll settle for Grey’s Anatomy.”

“This Is Us?” you asked.

“Supernatural?”

“I haven’t watched that yet. I’m working up to it,” you said. 

“Work faster woman. I only know legit everything about that one,” he chuckled. “But probably not a good idea to watch that one until I get back and you're not alone. First episode is kinda scary.”

“Oh well thanks for that,” you said, watching the clock tick by, knowing it had to be almost seven out there. “I’ll let you go. Have fun tonight Jensen.”

“I will Y/N. Promise.”

Friday Night

“Arrow,” you said after she’d flung her pasta bowl all over herself, covering her hair and face. She sniffled and you forced a smile. “Okay. How about a bath after dinner?”

Fifteen minutes later JJ and Zeppelin were in the movie room watching a cartoon while you had Arrow in the kids bathroom, scooping up some water over her head in the tub.

“Well hello ladies,” you heard behind you. You jumped and spun around, glaring for a moment before you recognized Jensen.

“Just me,” he said, backpack still on his shoulders. 

“Daddy I got ziti all over my head,” she said.

“You did?” he asked, dropping his bag and taking off his jacket, kneeling down next to you. You got the last bit of sauce off and squirted some shampoo in her hair, Jensen watching you with a smile. “How was your day?”

She told him all about breakfast and daycare, playing with a few toy boats with him while you rinsed out the soap. You did a bit of conditioner before getting it out as well and putting the spray nozzle back.

“I got the rest if you wanna get the dryer ready?” he asked you, reaching for the soap. You swapped spots with him, Jensen washing her up while she kept talking about her day. By the time he was all done you had the dryer out and plugged in, Jensen picking her up and wrapping her up in a big bundle of towels before he set her on the counter. You went to work drying her hair, Jensen draining the tub and finding some pajamas for her.

“Do you want your hair up or down, sweetie?” you asked. She tried gathering it up and you grabbed her soft scrunchie perfectly fine for sleeping in from the counter. You put her hair up in a soft little bun, Jensen making an adorable sound when he returned.

“Aw, you look so cute, baby. I’ll be right there alright?” he said. She hopped off the counter and got dressed, rushing off downstairs when she was all done. “Survive the day?”

“Somehow we always do,” you said, gathering up the towels. “Kids are in the movie room.”

“Thanks. I’m gonna shower but we’re all good for the night,” he said. “Thanks for watching them this week.”

“You gotta go do your job,” you said. “You working on a movie or something? You never said.”

“Uh gonna be in a show called The Boys,” he said. “I’m gonna be one of the superheroes so I gotta go out and get my suit made all special for me every so often.”

“You’re gonna be a supe! That’s so fucking cool!” you said. He grinned and you blushed, shaking your head. “I’m so sorry. That was so not appropriate.”

“I don’t see any little ears around,” he chuckled. “You like the show then?”

“Yeah. It’s great. Like no other show consistently makes me go what the fuck did I just see. That’s so cool you get to be a supe though. Are you a one off or like a main character?”

“I’ll be very present in the next season. Gonna deal with the seven, all that,” he said. “I’m gonna be Solider Boy.”

“I can see that. You have that all American boy thing about you.”

“It’s my adorable face,” he teased. 

“Well remember to not stay up too late. You have the gala tomorrow night remember?”

“Yes mom,” he said as you walked out. “Get the kids some takeout for dinner tomorrow and yourself.”

“Sounds good boss,” you said. “Night Jensen.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

The Next Night

You froze from where you were mixing up some brownie batter with JJ at the kitchen counter as Jensen popped downstairs. He was in a gorgeous black suit, a maroon pocket square and no tie going on, his hair scruffier looking than normal.

He started to laugh and you realized you were staring, your cheeks feeling hot as you went back to stirring.

“Mmm, you guys save me a brownie or two for when I get home?” he asked, leaning over and dipping his finger in the bowl of cream cheese frosting.

“We’ll spare one for dad,” you said, Jensen going back for seconds. “Ah, ah. No.”

He dipped his finger in and got another fingerful, kissing the top of JJ’s head and the twins at the counter.

“Be good for Y/N guys!” he called as he rushed out.

You whistled and he jogged back, catching you holding up his phone from the counter.

“Thank you,” he said, taking it and pecking a kiss on your cheek. You looked up at him and he froze. “I am so sorry. I…”

“It’s okay. Go have fun and be all charitable,” you said. He shoved his phone in his pocket and ran out, JJ scratching her head.

“Dad’s kinda weird sometimes,” she said.

“Yeah, he is. But so is everybody,” you said. “Let’s get this in the oven so you guys can pick out colors for your frosting, hm?”

“I really shouldn’t. But I really should,” you said to yourself, plopping your second brownie of the night in a bowl and sticking a scoop of ice cream on top. You carried it over to the couch and lay back, watching TV on the big screen as you heard the door open. Jensen came into view a minute later, taking his jacket off and groaning as he washed up at the sink. He went to the tray of brownies on the counter and picked one up with a big sigh. “Fun night?”

He jumped and whacked his head against the cabinet above, hissing before he spun around.

“You okay?” you asked. He nodded and left the brownie behind, pushing his sleeves up before taking a seat on the other end of the lounger.

“Y/N I’m really sorry about the kiss on the cheek. That was so inappropriate. You’ve kinda implied that there was some stuff that’s happened to you at other jobs you found over the line and I’m really truly sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I wasn’t...I forgot you’re my employee for a moment. I really am sorry.”

“Jensen if I had a problem with it or you or your behavior I would quit on the spot. I don’t let myself get pushed around anymore. You were happy and busy and you pecked a kiss on my cheek, not reach a hand down my pants. It’s really okay. You’re way too hard on yourself.”

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Positive. It’s barely ten which means you left as soon as you could. You’re supposed to be out having fun,” you said.

“I was kinda freaking out that you hated me,” he said.

“Dude you gotta relax,” you said. “Have a brownie and some ice cream.”

He got up and after a minute took a seat at the other end with a bowl of his own, smiling as he got a taste.

“This is fucking awesome,” he said.

“I know,” you said, Jensen smirking. “Do you feel better now silly boy? I promise that if you ever do anything I find inappropriate I will promptly kick you in the balls.”

“I can agree to that,” he said. He ate for a moment, watching the TV and laying back. “Do you ever like, want to go do things with your friends on a Saturday night? If you do that’s totally cool. These aren’t normal hours anyways.”

“Being a nanny eats up a lot of your social life,” you said. “Kinda got kicked out of my friend group after I broke up with my ex anyways.”

“Well they sound like they suck,” he said.

“Yes, they do,” you said. “I don’t mind so much. I meet plenty of new people through work. Only person you can depend on is yourself and I don’t tend to let myself down.”

“That’s a very lonely way to go through life,” he said.

“It’s not easy to make friends in your thirties,” you said. “Maybe for someone like you who travels and meets new people a lot and stuff but you have like, real friendships. You know?”

“Well we have a real friendship, don’t we? You’re friends with Jared and Rob and Ruthie and Rich,” he said. “I don’t trust just anybody with my kids. That’s real.”

“Yeah,” you said, taking a bite. “So when’s your friend free?”

“Hm?”

“Blind date guy. Maybe he could be a friend if things work out,” you said.

“Oh yeah. He uh, he actually got a gig up in Canada so you might need to wait like a month or so. But he’s excited to meet you,” said Jensen.

“Can I have his number?” you asked. “Or do you think that’d be weird?”

“No, not weird. I think he just kinda wants to do it old school if that’s okay. Meet you first and go from there.”

“This friend of yours better be like super hot,” you said.

“If it’s a problem-“

“I can respect him wanting to do things like that. But I’m gonna want a firm date soon,” you said.

“I’ll make sure to get you one,” he said. “I’ll get it down tomorrow, promise.”

“He better not mind me eating like this either. I ain’t a salad on the first date kinda girl. He’s gonna need to keep up with my eating while were at it,” you said. He snorted in his seat beside you and ran his hand over his face.

“I will keep that in mind. I have occasionally had dessert first truth be told,” he said.

“This is why I like you Ackles. You get my sweet tooth,” you laughed.

“It’s a good thing your dinners are healthy cause I swear I haven’t consumed this many baked goods in months,” he said. “The kids love it and my stomach loves it though.”

“I’m gonna need to start working out though if I keep this up. Oh hey is it okay if I do laps in the pool in the mornings? I’ll be super quiet and stuff.”

“You don’t gotta ask,” he smiled. “Like I said when you started, you got free reign to use the pool, the gym, whatever, aside from my room. You a swimmer?”

“Not really but I hate running and supposedly it’s a good workout or something,” you shrugged, eating another bite of brownie.

“Anything in the gym you’re free to use. I know you must get a little bored sometimes when I’m gone and the kids are,” he said.

“Not bored per say. Ordinarily I would do more chores but you have like a cleaner and a landscaper and you just...give me more time in the day than I’m used to is all. It’s actually great though. It gives me plenty of time to come up with ideas for the kids and stuff.”

“Well as long as you’re taking breaks and your lunch do as you please,” he said, his spoon scraping the bottom of his bowl.

“Now that’s just sad.”

“I really should get another one of these,” he said, sucking the spoon.

“It’s really the only choice you have,” you said. He laughed as he hopped up, skirting back into the kitchen and fixing up another brownie and ice cream combo.

“Hey you want more, Dee?” he asked. You popped your head up and he spun around. “I’m-“

“Don't apologize, Jensen,” you said. He tapped his fingers against the counter and took a deep breath, putting his back to you.

“That’s the second time tonight I’ve done that,” he said. 

“Jensen. There’s nothing wrong with missing your wife.”

“I’m still sorry.”

“You don’t...talk about her much.”

“It was...she wasn’t…” he trailed off. He sat down on a barstool and you got up, walking over and hopping up on the counter beside him. You set your feet in the stool next to his and paused before you put a hand on top of his head and ran your fingers through the short strands. “This shouldn’t have happened to her.”

“Death is the price for living. Pain’s the price for caring. Doesn’t mean it’s not worth it,” you said. You started to move your hand away when he turned his head. 

“Don’t…” he said, easing when you played with it gently again. “That’s always calmed me down since I was a little kid.”

“Someone should take care of you every once in a while you know. Your parents, siblings, friends. Everyone needs a break.”

“I had a lot of help at the beginning. I don’t need a whole day. Just a moment here and there,” he said quietly.

“It’ll be okay, Jensen,” you said. He nodded and you played with his hair a few moments, watching his shoulders ease. This time when you pulled away he smiled up at you. “Better?”

“Yeah. Thank you. That’s not in your job description to do that sort of thing.”

“Well I think your wife would want somebody to watch your back, even for only a minute or two,” you said.

“You don’t have any brain aneurysms I should know about, do you?” he chuckled. 

“No. That what happened?” you asked, a single nod coming from him.

“She was sleeping. Not a bad way to go I was told, you’d never even know,” he said. “Not a fun thing to wake up to in the morning though.”

“My dad had a mass at the back of his head. It was that same kind of thing where one second it’s fine and the next everything’s different deal. It was inoperable. Then he goes and dies from a car accident of all things before it got bad. My mom had a hard time with that.”

“You said she had a boyfriend later on right?” he asked.

“Yeah. I know you’ll be okay, Jensen,” you said. You ruffled his hair and he smiled, a soft look on his face. “Pro tip too from someone who’s been there, kids with a single parent turn out just fine.”

“Do they ever wish they had another parent?” he asked.

“They wish the parent they still have around is happy again someday. They won’t understand until they’re older that it’s a different kind of love between parents. But they’ll know it’s a little different and they’ll hope dad feels better too. Your kids are tough. They’ll be okay too.”

“Thanks, Y/N,” he said. You hopped off the counter and washed up your dish, sticking it in the dishwasher before you went to leave for your room. “So I gotta ask. Who takes care of you?”

“Me?” you asked, pointing to yourself. He shrugged and smiled, your gaze going past him. “I’m all good. I don’t need somebody to take care of me.”

“Liar,” he said softly. “You know my friend tells me everybody needs to be taken care of sometimes.”

“That’s the difference between us Jensen. You’re not like me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he scoffed, his face scrunching up suddenly.

“It means you’re not on your own and even if you feel like it, it’s only been a little while. You’ll be okay. I’ve been taking care of myself since I was a kid. I don’t need anyone to take care of me.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it.”

“You haven’t lived my life and I haven’t lived yours. Don’t try to tell me that I’m not capable of-”

“It’s not about what you’re capable of. You said pain is part of life, it’s the price for living. You’ve had more than your fair share-”

“Lots of people have it a lot worse.”

“Don’t compare your pain to someone else's. They haven’t lived your life,” he said. You rolled your eyes and started to walk away, Jensen out of his seat and catching up with you in the hall. “You can be taken care of too you know.”

“By who? My non-existent circle of friends? My crappy ex? My mom’s ex boyfriend who’s got his own wife and kids? I am perfectly fine managing all of this by myself. I’ve been doing it for years.”

“You’re so frustratingly annoying,” he said, running his hand over his face. “Me. I’m talking about me. You just...you took care of me tonight. The least I can do is show you the same compassion.”

“No,” you said.

“No? Why not?”

“Because taking care of me turns into you walking into my shower without my permission and you being a dick and this going away and I don’t want you to be those things so no. We’re getting too friendly. Please leave me alone tomorrow.”

You left him in the hall and went down to your area of the house, shutting the door after you. There was quickly a knock and you growled, ripping it open.

“What?” you snapped at him.

“I am not going to hurt you or be a dick to you or whatever else you think. You need to realize in the real world, not everyone is an asshole.”

“You’re the one not living in the real world then, Jensen. Everybody’s an asshole.”

“Fine. I’m an asshole. But I’m not leaving until you say I can take care of you tomorrow. Two minutes is all I’m asking for.”

“This is my part of the house.”

“And technically I am outside your door,” he said. “Why are you so resistant to somebody doing something nice for you?”

“Because I don’t wanna get used to it,” you said. He stared and you shook your head. “You’re attractive and an actor and kind and funny and it’s not a matter of if you date again but when and when that day comes, we ain’t gonna be sitting on the couch eating ice cream anymore. Please do not invite me to anymore outings as a friend. I’ll attend if required as a nanny but this between us is done.”

“For the record, the only one around here that thinks of you as just the hired help is you. My children are completely like their old selves. I feel more like my old self. You seem happier than when I met you but for some reason, that’s a big problem to you. I do not understand that.”

“Leave or I resign and move out first thing,” you said. He crossed his arms and lifted his chin. “This is my formal resignation then. The company will-”

He moved quickly and you weren’t sure what he was doing at first but soon you realized he was hugging you, your hands resting against his chest. You swallowed and he didn’t move, your forehead resting against him.

“What are you doing?” you breathed out.

“When’s the last time you got a fucking hug?” he asked.

“The kids-”

“Not the kids.”

“I don’t remember,” you said quietly. 

“Then you are overdue,” he said. You let yourself reach your arms around him and return the hug, breathing deeply, a small bubble in you rising up. You tried to push it down but it came back harder and you were fighting back tears before you knew it. 

He could feel when you lost that battle, hand rubbing up and down your back. There was a soft shushing in the air and after a few minutes you felt better. You lifted your head but didn’t look at him, Jensen squeezing you in his hug again before it eased.

“You know you’re not allowed to quit on me...like ever,” he chuckled. You let out a small laugh, Jensen smiling at you when you forced your head up. He wiped off your cheeks and you let out one last sniffle. “You’re not alone. I promise you’re not. It’s not the quantity of people you have in your life but the quality and I’m sorry but we are friends and there’s nothing you can do about that so I’d just accept it now.”

“I’m sorry I was such a bitch.”

“You were scared, not a bitch,” he said. “I wish I could make you happier is all.”

“I wish I could bring back your wife for you,” you said.

“One of those is a lot more possible than the other,” he said. A small smile crossed his lips before he ducked his head down, shoulders heaving back before his head raised. “Y/N, can I confess something to you? I hope...I hope it doesn’t bother you but if it does, you don’t have to continue working for me. I’d still like to be friends regardless.”

“What’s wrong?” you asked, Jensen looking past you.

“My single friend I was going to set you up with? He doesn’t exist.”

“Oh.”

“Cause he’s kinda me.”

“Oh,” you said, staring at him, a lot of his previous behavior starting to click into place. “That’s…”

“I know,” he said, stepping away and rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s weird and douchey and I’m sorry. I like you and I was trying to see if you would ever go for a 42 year old actor. I left out the widow and kids part but...I’m sorry.”

“When did you like me?” you asked quietly.

“The whole time?” he said, laughing nervously to himself. “It’s kinda snowballed since we met. I never in my life thought I’d like someone again. I didn’t want to like you. I hired you because you were the best candidate and I knew the kids would be in good hands but everyday it’s there, even more, and I know this is so inappropriate on so many levels and I’m really starting to ramble here but you make me think maybe your mom had a point and people are allowed to have...more than one…and sometimes the way you talk to me and treat me and look at me...” 

He swallowed as you stepped in front of him, taking a quick breath. 

“I will keep working for you and I’ll be your friend...and you can make me dinner tomorrow,” you said with a smile. “We’ll see where it goes from there?”

“You’re not...weirded out?” he asked.

“By your age, you’re my boss or the cheeky lying about a fake friend?” you said.

“All of the above.”

“Age doesn’t bother me. You have no idea how to be a boss, no offense, and the friend...I don’t blame you for wanting to test the waters first,” you said. “But I expect honesty from here on out.”

“Absolutely,” he said.

“Good,” you said.

“You do like me right?” he asked. “Like you don’t feel obligated or-”

“I like you Jensen. Why do you think I was trying to push you away before you got too close? I didn’t want to be hurt.”

“Give me a chance to not,” he said. “We can have dinner and see how it goes from there.”

“Normally the best course of action,” you said.

“But maybe with a few more hugs from now on,” he said. “For the both of us.”

“That’d be okay with me,” you said. He smiled and you returned it. “I guess I’ll see you in the morning then.”

“I guess you will,” he said. He turned to go when he spun back on his heels. “Or we could go back out there, eat way too much dessert and hang out?”

“Yeah,” you said with a smile. “Give me a minute to wash up my face.”

“Take all the time you want. I’m gonna change into something more comfortable anyways.”

He left and you washed off your face in the bathroom, drying it off and taking a deep breath.

You did like him. There was something calming about him to you and you enjoyed his company, even if it was just the two of you having a quiet cup of coffee in the morning.

But he was an actor. And kinda famous. And a widow. And had three kids. 

“But your face is cute,” you said aloud, looking the mirror. “Gah, of course you have to be like...into me. Nutjob. He must be a nutjob. That’s it.”

“Y/N?” you heard him saying and you smacked yourself in the face. “Are you talking to yourself?”

“Uh, yeah,” you said, stepping out and seeing him in the hall sporting a pair of pajama pants and a t shirt. “That was fast.”

“Well I didn’t go through an eight step skin routine too,” he chuckled.

“For your information, my routine is only three steps,” you said, walking past him and waggling your fingers.

“I didn’t realize I was living with such a savage,” he said. You laughed and went back to the kitchen, making up another dish of brownie for him while he went over to where he kept his liquor. “You a bourbon kind of girl?”

“Is there any other kind?” you said.

“Touche.” He poured out two glasses and slid one over while you passed his bowl to him. “So what’s this three step routine? Do I need to up my game or what?”

“I think I need your routine, not the other way around,” you said.

“Nah. I like looking at your face more than mine. Trust me.”

“Oh. How long you been holding back those kinds of comments?” you teased.

“Longer than you’d think,” he said, sharing the bowl with you. “Feel okay now?”

“Yeah. I can’t remember the last time I cried,” you said. “Especially in front of someone.”

“A good cry session has never hurt in my experience. I’ll do it for work and stuff but normally I’m not much of one. Aside from the past six months I mean.”

“Are you ready to try this?” you asked.

“Yeah. I know I am,” he said. “I’m positive of it.”

“How can you know that?”

“Because you make me happy. You make me...want to do stuff again, believe in all the romantic...if I wasn’t ready, I’d feel guilty. But I don’t. I just know that maybe some people get more than one chance and maybe I’m one of them.”

“I know you are, whoever it ends up being,” you said.

“Are you ready to try this?”

You took a drink and bite of ice cream, pushing the bowl back.

“I miss my family,” you said. “I miss being happy. I’d like to...have someone that could take care of me for a moment every once in a while. I might mess that up sometimes but I’m willing to try.”

“Me too,” he said. “I’d expect some screw ups on this end too. I’ve been out of the dating game for a long time.”

“I’m sure it hasn’t changed all that much,” you said.

“Well I’ve never dated with kids and as a widow,” he said.

“I’m just in this for them to be honest,” you laughed. 

“I see how it is,” he said with a smirk. 

“I don’t think it’ll be as hard as you think,” you said.

“I hope not,” he said. 

“Do they know? You want to date?”

“JJ does,” he said. “She’s little but she understands that it doesn’t mean I’ll never love her mother any less. She’s been strangely okay through this whole thing aside from the first few weeks. She helps her brother and sister out more now.”

“As someone who was that kid, minus the siblings, I know they’ll be okay. She’s a great kid. I’ve met plenty of spoiled brats. Yours are not.”

“Well that might just be the second best thing I’ve heard tonight,” he said.

“Whatever was the first?” you teased, eating a spoon of ice cream.

“Oh I think you know,” he said, stealing the spoon back. You smiled and heard some feet run around upstairs before the stairs creeped and a little head ducked down into view. “Arrow. It’s bedtime sweetie.”

“I had a accident,” she said. “Sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for, honey,” he said. “I’ll be right back.”

“Want help?” you asked.

“Sure,” he said. He scooped up Arrow on the way up the stairs, setting her down in the kids bathroom. He got some clean pajamas and you found a pair of pull ups, Arrow pouting at you. 

“I don’t need ‘em,” she said.

“Your brother wears them. I wore them and your mommy and daddy wore them. Everybody wears pull ups when they’re your age,” you said.

“Just tonight,” she said, stepping into them. Jensen walked past with the mattress liner and she was dressed by the time you heard the washer going off in the distance. You walked her back to bed, Jensen slipping in past you and tucking her in. “Night daddy.”

“Night sweetie,” he said, kissing her temple. 

“Night Y/N,” she said.

“Night night kiddo,” you said, giving her a tiny wave before you left, Jensen flipping off her light and pulling the door shut. 

“Come here a second,” he said, nodding and you saw him head towards his room. The double doors were open and you stepped inside, Jensen going past the bed and over to a set of french doors. He pushed one open and waved for you to follow, showing you out to a rooftop balcony.

“Wow,” you said, a set of chairs, a table and a lounger out there along with a whole lot soft string lights. “I didn’t realize you had this up here.”

“Kinda a place to go unwind, relax,” he said. “I disappear out here sometimes. Been out here a lot at night lately.”

“Thinking about what?” you asked.

“You,” he said. “I talk to Dee about you sometimes as crazy as that sounds.”

“Doesn’t sound crazy at all,” you said.

“I just wanted to say...this area isn’t off limits anymore. Nothing is,” he said. 

“She asked you out, didn’t she,” you said with a smile. He rubbed the back of his neck and blushed. “You’re cute.”

You leaned up and kissed his cheek, heading back towards inside.

“Come on, Jensen. Before the ice cream melts on us.”

_______

A/N: Read Part 4 here!

[craftdiscoveries]

There's no such thing as too much Kraft-Tex 😁

[stumblingoverchaos]

Zig-zag binding from a #handmadebookclub lesson. Kraft-Tex, acrylic paint, glitter paint, stencil.

[tenthousandtangles]

I was invited to be a guest artist for the upcoming 5-Day Journal Challenge by Ali at @vintagepagedesigns, which meant I got early access to the videos! Here’s my interpretation of the book (swipe for additional photos) - pre-assembly, finished book, front cover detail, back cover detail.

The Challenge begins on March 7th, and you may sign up at www.vintagepagedesigns.com. I hope you’ll join us!

My book’s cover is grey unwashed Kraft-Tex, which I embellished with Zentangle-Inspired Art designs using a Pigma Micron 03 pen, various white and metallic/sparkly gel pens (it’s hard to see the sparkle in the photo, so you’ll have to trust me on that!), and a white Posca pen. The Challenge actually includes an additional bonus project of making paper beads, which I’m definitely going to try - but to complete this book I used a selection of glass and silver metal beads left over from my jewelry-making days.

Thanks for a wonderful project, Ali, and for the opportunity to be a guest artist - I had great fun! 💕

[drill-dash]

EMBUSTE! - Cormano and Perro Negro together hunting enemies. - It's graphite on a sheet near kraft paper, then edited on Adobe Photoshop to add watermark and that's pretty much it regarding the making process itself.

- Here we can see the gathering of two characters: one being a fanart of Cormano (from the SNES game "Sunset Riders"), and the other being Perro Negro, an original character of mine, that I made to fit in Tex Willer's world, since I'm a huge fan of Tex himself and the indigenous stories that are shown there.

- In this illustration they are being hunted by a group of evil guys, so they decided to hide and wait for them to pass by and shoot those bad guys dead.

[fiftytwotwentythree]

Wellness Wednesday:

From Good to Worst

This week started off with a bang:

PTO Thursday/Friday from work

Saw Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (an Effing Aweome Installment)

Got a Massage (bad but still pretty good)

Hung out with my Bestie

Picked out Patio Furniture (yeah, I'm at that stage of adulting, NBD)

Played Board Games

Had choice BBQ in the backyard

Just a good, solid weekend...

But then I woke up Monday and couldn't talk - throat burned.

The sore throat alleviated but then my nose started acting up - Can't breathe worth a lick, and to top it off went back to work to an onslaught of tasks and BS.

Also - another moment to add onto my No Good, Horrible, Very Bad Day... I bought a batch of Oranges...

They taste like Cantaloupe!

Do you know what kind of mind eff that is?

I should just move to Australia.

JK - first world problems.

.

.

19th CHECK-IN:

Current Goals:

Lose 52 lbs

Completed as of 4/12/2023

New Goal: Maintain or Continue on The Weight Loss Path

Avoid "Junk Food"

Minimize Take-Out / Fast Food Consumption

Short Term:

Vegetarian-ish Diet: Completed

End Date: 4/09/2023 - 46 Days Total

.

.

Meal Tracker:

THURSDAY

Lunch:

Roast Beef and Pastrami Sandwich on a Toasted Wheat Hoagie with Provolone Cheese

- Miracle Whip

- Dijon Mustard

Handful of Good & Gather's Tex Mex Trail Mix

Snack:

(2) Handfuls of Sahale Snacks Pomegranate Vanilla Flavored Cashews Glazed Mix

(2) Handfuls of Sahale Snacks Pomegranate Flavored Pistachios Glazed Mix

Supper:

Annie Chun's Sweet Chili Noodle Bowl

- Cashews

Birds Eye Loaded Cauliflower Bites

- Polynesian Sauce

- Ranch

FRIDAY

Lunch:

Roast Beef and Pastrami Sandwich on a Toasted Wheat Hoagie with Melted White American Cheese

(3) Handfuls of Good & Gather's Tex Mex Trail Mix

Supper:

Bowl of Progresso Italian Sausage & Potato Soup

- 8 Crackers

(2) Johnsonville Beddar with Cheddar Smoked Sausages on Toasted Hotdog Buns

- Ketchup

Bag of Giant's Shelled Sour & Onion Pistachios (2.5 Servings)

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

SATURDAY

Lunch:

(2) Corn Beef and White American Cheese Sandwiches on Toasted Bread

Bowl of Wonderful's Shelled Sweet Chili Pistachios

Snack:

(2) Bowls of Wonderful's Shelled Sweet Chili Pistachios

Supper:

(2) Johnsonville Beddar with Cheddar Smoked Sausages on Toasted Hotdog Buns

Bowl of Progresso Lasagna Style Soup

- 6 Crackers

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

SUNDAY

Lunch:

Santa Fe Style Salad

(1) Medium Orange

Snack:

BBQ Corn Nuts

Supper:

(1) Grilled Chicken Breast

(1) Pineapple Brat on Bun

- Ketchup

- Mustard

- Relish

(1) Chipotle Pepper Jack Brat on a Bun

- Ketchup

- Scoop of Cottage Cheese

(1) Cheeseburger on a Bun

- Ketchup

- Scoop of Cottage Cheese

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

MONDAY

Lunch:

Spinach Dijon Salad

Snack:

(2) Handfuls of Good & Gather's Tex Mex Trail Mix

Supper:

Bowl of Buffalo Ranch Salad

(1) Medium Orange

TUESDAY

Lunch:

Spinach Dijon Salad

Supper:

Chef Salad

(1) Medium Orange

WEDNESDAY

Lunch:

(2) Leftover Beer Brats on Sesame Seed Hotdog Buns

- Ketchup

- Relish

- Cottage Cheese

(2) Scoops of Potato Salad

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

Supper:

Cheeseburger off the Grill

- Ketchup

- Lettuce

- Cottage Cheese

Side of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese

An Ear of Firecracker Corn off the Grill

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

.

.

Workouts:

THURSDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(5 mins) Planks [ 5 sets of 1 min]

FRIDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(100) Sit-Ups [10 sets of 10]

SATURDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(5 mins) Planks [ 5 sets of 1 min]

SUNDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(100) Sit-Ups [5 sets of 20]

MONDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(5 mins) Planks [ 5 sets of 1 min]

TUESDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [5 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(100) Sit-Ups [5 sets of 20]

WEDNESDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges[4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(5 mins) Planks [ 5 sets of 1 min]

.

.

WEIGHT TRACKER:

Starting Weight (Noon, 1/01/2023): XXX.X lbs

Weight at Last Check-In, 5/03/2023: -1.6 lbs

Weight As of Noon, 5/10/2023: -1.6 lbs

Total Weight Loss: -60.4 lbs

.

.

Closing Thoughts:

The Good:

Broke 60 lbs... thinking about rewarding myself... surfing Amazon now.

Sit-Ups and Planks dont bother/burn as much as they did starting May 1st.

The Bad:

Can't breathe out my nose and battling a sore throat for the last 2 days.

The Ugly:

My sleep schedule is whack.

[missclarasoufflegirl]

Happy to say that I have perfected my Kraft Dinner game. GET THIS. KD powder, shitload of butter, a little sprinkle of tex mex shredded cheese, and 4 or 5 drops of sriracha. Legit the best

[jc]

Rekordabsteiger vor dem neunten Aufstieg? – Der #FCN-Saisonausblick 2019/2020

Da capo. Der Aus­flug in die Bun­des­li­ga war kurz. Nach nur einem Jahr been­de­te der Club die Sai­son mit der schlech­tes­ten Leis­tung in die­ser Liga aller Zei­ten. Die zwei­fel­haf­te Ehre des Titels „Rekord­ab­stei­ger“ haben wir seit­dem allei­ne inne, sonst bleibt nicht viel Nen­nens­wer­tes von der letz­ten Spiel­zeit.

Posi­tiv ist, dass alle – auch und vor allem die Fans! – von Anfang an wuss­ten, dass der Auf­stieg eigent­lich zu früh kam, dass das Team nicht erst­li­ga­reif ist. Die Zeit, sich mit dem Abstieg anzu­freun­den, war erfreu­lich lan­ge, eigent­lich stand es spä­tes­tens mit dem 0:7 in Dort­mund fest, wohin die Rei­se gehen wird. Ent­spre­chend sanft war der Auf­schlag, ent­spre­chend gut­mü­tig die Fans, ent­spre­chend schnell der Blick wie­der nach vor­ne gerich­tet.

Und das tue ich jetzt auch. In Nürn­berg wur­de viel umge­krem­pelt, haupt­säch­lich auf der Manage­ment­ebe­ne. Der neue Sport­vor­stand Pali­ku­ca ver­folgt ein ande­res Modell als sei­ne Vor­gän­ger, er lässt sich fach­lich unter­stüt­zen und bin­det Alt­stars in die Ver­eins­ar­beit mit ein. Er schafft damit eine Auf­bruch­stim­mung, die nicht ein­mal von schmerz­haf­ten Abgän­gen und zwei­späl­ti­gen Test­spie­len getrübt wird.

Apro­pos. Wie üblich wer­fe ich mal einen Blick auf die, die weg sind und die, die neu dabei sind. Es darf aber der Hin­weis nicht feh­len, dass das Trans­fer­fens­ter noch über einen Monat lang offen steht. Bis Anfang Sep­tem­ber kann noch viel pas­sie­ren.

Abgänge

Dass Edu­ard Löwen nicht mit in die zwei­te Liga gehen wird, war eigent­lich klar. Her­tha BSC bekam letzt­lich den Zuschlag und zahlt dafür ver­mut­lich sie­ben Mil­lio­nen Euro – für den Club eine wahn­sin­ni­ge Sum­me.

Ewertons Abschied kam dage­gen über­ra­schen­der. Der Innen­ver­tei­di­ger war Sicher­heits­an­ker in der Auf­steigs­sai­son und hielt auch gegen Ende der letz­ten Sai­son oft­mals die Defen­si­ve sta­bil. Kon­kur­rent HSV sicher­te sich die Diens­te des Bra­si­lia­ners. Es ist ein Ver­lust, der mit zwei Mil­lio­nen Euro ein wenig ver­süßt wird. Und ob der mitt­ler­wei­le 30-Jährige noch vie­le gute Sai­sons hat, wird sich auch noch zei­gen müs­sen.

Trotz aller Loya­li­täts­ver­spre­chen ging auch Tim Lei­bold – eben­falls zum HSV, die sich den Vor­wurf gefal­len las­sen müs­sen, die Liga kaputt­zu­kau­fen, damit es kom­men­de Spiel­zeit doch mal mit dem Auf­stieg klappt. „Lei­be“ macht die Ham­bur­ger angeb­lich um 1,8 Mil­lio­nen Euro ärmer.

Nach­dem Tor­wart Chris­ti­an Mathe­nia einen Fünf­jah­res­ver­trag unter­schrie­ben hat­te, war für Fabi­an Bred­low klar, dass sei­ne Chan­cen, Stamm­tor­hü­ter zu wer­den, kaum noch vor­han­den sind. Der 24-Jährige hat noch was vor in sei­ner Kar­rie­re, also muss­te er wech­seln. Mit­ab­stei­ger Stutt­gart gibt Aysl und zahlt sogar noch 300.000 Euro dafür. Bred­low wird sich aber auch in Schwa­ben erst ein­mal auf die Ersatz­bank set­zen müs­sen.

Edgar Sal­lis Ver­trag wur­de nicht ver­län­gert. Er wur­de in den letz­ten Jah­ren oft für sei­ne Ent­schei­dun­gen auf dem Rasen kri­ti­siert, dem gemei­nen Fan war nie so rich­tig klar, war­um er immer und immer wie­der auf­ge­stellt wur­de. Schom­mers war das Ende letz­ter Sai­son auch nicht mehr klar. Sal­li hat noch kei­nen neu­en Ver­ein.

Der viel kri­ti­sier­te ein­zi­ge Win­ter­zu­gang Ivo Illi­se­vic wur­de in der Rück­run­de drei Mal ein­ge­wech­selt, hat ins­ge­samt 36 Minu­ten gespielt und muss sich jetzt schon wie­der einen neu­en Arbeit­ge­ber suchen. Trans­fer­tech­nisch ein abso­lu­ter Fehl­schlag.

Yuya Kubo wur­de einst mit viel Vor­schuss­lor­bee­ren geholt. Manch­mal zeig­te er auch, wozu er in der Lage wäre, wenn ihm das rest­li­che Team dabei hilft. Meis­tens muss­ten sei­ne Ein­sät­ze jedoch unter „stets bemüht“ ver­bucht wer­den – das hat er mit dem kom­plet­ten Team gemein. Kubos Lei­he ende­te ver­trags­ge­mäß, der Club mach­te kein Kauf­an­ge­bot.

Auch die Lei­he von Robert Bau­er ist been­det, er kehrt zu Wer­der Bre­men zurück (die ihn wohl auch nicht wirk­lich wol­len).

Timo­thy Till­mann kam zu Aus­bil­dungs­zwe­cken von den Bay­ern nach Nürn­berg, hat eini­ge Spie­le in der zwei­ten Mann­schaft bestrit­ten und auch ein paar Startelf-Einsätze in der ers­ten (aller­dings nie über die vol­le Spiel­zeit). Auch sei­ne Lei­he wur­de plan­ge­mäß been­det.

Aus­ge­lie­hen von Spor­ting Lis­sa­bon war auch Matheus Perei­ra, defi­ni­tiv einer der bes­ten im letzt­jäh­ri­gen Team. Der Club war durch­aus an einer Über­nah­me inter­es­siert, es fehl­te aller­dings das nöti­ge Klein­geld in der Kas­se.

Extern aus­ge­bil­det (lies: an ande­re Ver­ei­ne aus­ge­lie­hen) wer­den Jakov Medic und Domi­nik Stec­zyk.

Ins­ge­samt hat der Club über elf Mil­lio­nen Euro an Trans­fer­erlö­sen gene­riert. Kauf­män­nisch war das also ein Erfolg. Dass dahin­ter aber auch schmerz­haf­te Abgän­ge ste­hen, soll­te das nicht kaschie­ren. Rich­tig gute Spie­ler wol­len halt nicht zwei­te Liga spie­len und man­che fol­gen ein­fach nur der Ver­lo­ckung des Gel­des – selbst, wenn es in die glei­che Liga führt.

Neuzugänge

Der teu­ers­te Neu­ein­kauf (kol­por­tier­te 2,5 Mil­lio­nen Euro) ist Nivo­la Dove­dan, der von Hei­den­heim kommt. Er mach­te schon in den Test­spie­len einen guten Ein­druck als Offen­siv­kraft. Hof­fen wir mal, dass er das Geld wert ist.

Mit gut 2 Mil­lio­nen Euro eben­so nicht im Son­der­an­ge­bot war Iuri Medei­ros, der wie Perei­ra von Spor­ting Lis­sa­bon kommt, im Gegen­satz zum Rück­keh­rer aber mit einem fes­ten Arbeits­ver­trag. Perei­ra habe nur Gutes über den Club erzählt, sag­te er zum Ein­stand. Er wird eben­falls die Offen­si­ve ver­stär­ken.

Als Ewerton-Ersatz ist Asger Sören­sen für eine hal­be Mil­li­on aus Salz­burg in die Noris gezo­gen. Der 23-Jährige mach­te in den Test­spie­len schon gehö­rig auf sich auf­merk­sam.

Robin Hack kommt aus Hof­fen­heim, angeb­lich auch für eine hal­be Mil­li­on Euro. Die Offen­siv­kraft ist für mich noch ein Fra­ge­zei­chen.

Für 450.000 Euro haben wir den Mit­tel­stür­mer Fabi­an Schleu­se­ner bei Frei­burg ein­ge­kauft. Ich habe sonst noch nichts von ihm mit­be­kom­men. Laut Trans­fer­markt besteht bei ihm noch ein Trai­nings­rück­stand.

Tim Hand­wer­ker hat nicht nur einen boden­stän­di­gen Namen. Der für 300.000 Euro von Erst­li­ga­auf­stei­ger Köln kom­men­de 21-Jährige ver­stärkt die Defen­si­ve.

Oli­ver Sorg kommt von Mit­ab­stei­ger Han­no­ver 96, sogar ablö­se­frei. Er dürf­te inter­es­sier­ten Fuß­ball­fans bekannt sein. Dem Ver­neh­men nach ein schmerz­haf­ter Abgang für Han­no­ver, ein erfreu­li­cher also für uns.

Felix Lohkem­per kommt vom Mag­de­burg und hat sich dort einen Namen gemacht. Die Offen­siv­kraft hat viel für Mag­de­burg geleis­tet, konn­te aber auch nicht deren Abstieg ver­hin­dern. Bis­her wur­de er sei­nen Vor­schuss­lor­bee­ren gerecht.

Andre­as Luk­se ist Tor­wart und wird sich ver­mut­lich mit Patric Klandt um die Num­mer 2 hin­ter Mathe­nia strei­ten. Da Klandt schon vor­her Num­mer 3 war und Luk­se Trai­ner Cana­di schon aus Alt­ach kennt, ist das Ergeb­nis ver­mut­lich erst­mal klar.

Fabi­an Nürn­ber­ger hat natür­lich den bes­ten Namen aller Club-Spieler. Der 19-Jährige wur­de aus der U21 beför­dert. Es kann gut sein, dass er eine Stamm­kraft in der ers­ten Mann­schaft wird.

Rund sechs Mil­lio­nen für Neu­zu­gän­ge bei rund elf Mil­lio­nen an Trans­fer­ein­nah­men – der Club hat zumin­dest wie­der das Ziel erreicht, einen ordent­li­chen Trans­fer­über­schuss zu erzie­len. Des­halb gilt aber auch wie so oft die ban­ge Fra­ge: Sind die Neu­en eine ech­te Ver­stär­kung? Kön­nen sie die Abgän­ge aus­glei­chen, am bes­ten noch über­tref­fen? Sind die Lücken gefüllt, die im Kader herr­schen?

So oder so, es wird ziem­lich sicher noch wei­te­re Neu­zu­gän­ge geben, das hat der Club bereits ange­kün­digt.

Der aktuelle Kader

Der Kader des 1. FC Nürn­berg 2019/20 (Foto: 1. FC Nürn­berg)

Der Kader (Stand: 23.07.2019) setzt sich also wie folgt zusam��men:

Tor: 26 Mathe­nia, 1 Klandt, 30 Luk­se

Abwehr: 2 Goden, 4 Sören­sen, 22 Valen­ti­ni, 28 Mühl, 33 Mar­greit­ter, 15 Nürn­ber­ger, 25 Sorg, 6 Hand­wer­ker

Mit­tel­feld: 8 Dove­dan, 10 Kerk, 18 Beh­rens, 31 Petrak, 20 Jäger, 21 Pala­ci­os, 29 Erras, 35 Fuchs (Mit­tel­fuß­bruch), 38 Rhein, 17 Hack, 40 Medei­ros

Angriff: 7 Lohkem­per, 9 Ishak, 11 Zrelak, 19 Knöll, 23 Schleu­se­ner, 24 Mis­id­jan (Kreuz­brand­riss)

Saisonausblick

Der Club will „in den nächs­ten zwei Jah­ren“ auf­stei­gen. Dass da direkt ein Back­up instal­liert wur­de, mag vor allem dar­an lie­gen, dass die kom­men­de Zweit­li­ga­sai­son mit drei Bun­des­li­ga­ab­stei­gern nicht ein­fach wird. Auch Stutt­gart und Han­no­ver wol­len sofort wie­der rauf, der HSV ist auch noch am Start (und kauft gera­de die Liga kaputt), an wei­te­ren ambi­tio­nier­ten Ver­ei­nen man­gelt es dem Unter­haus auch nicht. Ob der Club in die­ser Gemenge­la­ge tat­säch­lich einen der ers­ten drei Plät­ze ergat­tert, ist des­halb frag­lich.

Frag­los will der Club oben mit­spie­len. Wenn sich das Team gefun­den hat, traue ich ihm das obe­re Drit­tel zu, also irgend­was zwi­schen Platz 1 und 6. Aber ehr­lich gesagt glau­be ich auch dar­an, dass es ein Jahr spä­ter, wenn die gro­ßen Fische weg sind, rea­lis­ti­scher wird.

Wie immer jedoch las­se ich mich ger­ne posi­tiv über­ra­schen.

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(Original unter: https://1ppm.de/2019/07/fcn-saisonausblick-2019-2020/)