#LITERALLY WROTE WAR AND PEACE HERE BC I JUST HAD TOO MUCH TO SAY

[devilbombers]

Claymore review

7.8/10

An extremely overlooked cult classic. It's probably the butch lesbian fantasy of all time.

For a good time for the most part I still think everyone should read it!

The Anime

this is probably the first time ive preffered watching the anime than the manga. Personally i found the beginning of the manga drawn too plain and thought the story telling was illustrated in a rather boring way and honestly i dont think the Norihiro Yagi was at the level he needed to be with choreographing fight scenes in a comprehensive way at the time and i just had to go ahead and watch the anime instead mostly because i could finally understand what was happening in scenes.

I really liked the anime however in the i am always inevitably a manga over the anime fan til the bitter end. It actually made me really angry to find out they had to drastically change a bunch of major plot elements and even make up a bunch of shit just so they could wrap up the anime in a nice way. Like i kind of understand why but it was actually such a corny and confusing ending it actually made me really angry lmao (ESPECIALLY HOW THEY REPLACED THE SCENE WITH JEAN SAVING CLARE WITH RAKI INSTEAD)

The Characters

For the most part I really liked everyone but of course I absolutely despised Raki. I do not blame anyone who couldnt bring themselves to continue or even start the series because of him because it took so much out of me to continue regardless of his almost pointless presence.

Like I kind of understand its because hes sort of supposed to expose and ground Claire's humanity but i really think it was still possible to do that without him even existing. hes kind of really a walking character device isnt he? Like im pretty sure Jean's existence was enough.

So anyways i think everyone else was really cool.

setting/genre/lore

I really dont know how to start with how much i admired everything. I really liked the legion of really cool/scary/pretty butch lesbian warriors, the concept of youma/awakened beings is so interesting and i love how horrifyingly beautiful they all are, I was super into how little i fucking knew about the organization.

In general everything is so unique and fresh I like everything about it. It pains me to no avail acknowledging that this is the only series asides from berserk thats a dark fantasy and even worse understanding both of them are technically over and its extremely maddening knowing nobody wants to draw dark fantasy manga anymore

creature design

i fucking love monsters so of course I have to discuss the unique appeal of the creature design in this series. One of the greatest things i absolutely adore from Yagis designs for the awakened beings is the stark contrast of a creature that is frightfully elegant.

I have to praise Yagi for also being the only other artist asides from Kentaro Miura whos considerate about exploring different shapes and forms for the overall silhouette of his creature designs.

Another specific aspect I greatly admire from his designs is that hes probably the first artist ive come across whos capable of mixing mostly scaled/armorlike textures on a monster while still retaining an air of tension and an organic looking design.

from my own personal art and observation from other creature designs from all sorts of artists I find it almost impossible to have these textures while retaining said elements of design because i think it gives it more of a "cool" vibe than a scary one.

Up until this point I was quite convinced its only feasible to have scales/armor-like textures on a monster if you balance it with a fleshy texture (approximately 70-80% fleshy and hard textured for the 20-30%) but Yagi truly is a genius or something because hes the only artist i know whos capable of making designs that are like 90% armor but its still somehow gives you chills.

So anyways heres a list breaking down my deepest feelings about my favorite awakened being designs:

1. The destroyer

I actually havent ever seen a monster design so grand it took my breath away. Theres too much to love about it. Out of all the awakened beings nothing radiates such a thick aura of radiance and absolute terror than this design alone.

The whole idea of two sisters lovingly trapped together to become a greater and unstoppable creature is so overwhelming it really makes me shiver with delight and terror. Ive never felt so strongly about a design before so I really think nothing else will outdo this unique sensation.

Its just so fucking cool!!!!!!! I'm obsessed with religious iconography so i really adored how it was shaped like an angel and devil at the same time. i thought it was super fascinating how it would relentlessly and indiscriminately shoot everything and everyone in its radius with pieces of itself warped into more awful abyssal creatures that could even manipulate and transform anyone it stabs itself into. its all just so coollllllllllllllllll!!!!!!!!

2: Isley

i thought isley was a really weird guy and i probably hated him but i cannot deny how I think his awakened form was soooo cool. Isley is the prime example of what i was talking about with balancing textures on a monster. Super cool design i like it a lot

3: the awakened girl that showed up during ophelias first appearance

god i really wish i could properly admire her with knowing her fucking name. Quite an ephemeral appearance but she had such a unique look to her despite everything I've seen throughout the series i could never forget her. She's probably the defines the general features and theme of what awakened beings should look like. A trend setter dare i say.

4: Cassandra

VERY interesting silhouette. its not often you get to see a humanoid like body be treated like somewhat of a quadruped. Its interesting how its something vaguely erotic and terrifying at the same time. The multiple heada that snaps its jaws on anything that gets near it is a fantastic touch.

5: Riful

overall a relatively simple design but its the simple things that are always the most fascinating isnt it? I really like tangled looking monsters. Not much to say except slay honestly lmao

6: Jean

She was only in this form for such a brief moment but it was such a striking design I couldn't forget it. If find the most unforgettable things are usually the most fascinating things in turn. Such a gorgeous yet terrifying thing. I hope i dont sound like a psychopath saying this but the visible helplessness being trapped in an awful and radiant body is very beautiful to me.

7: Miata

quite a short appearance but i really liked the silhouette of her awakened form. I wish there were more panels showing more closer details of it. not much to say about this other than i think its really neat!

8: europa

literally just a ball with several spines attached to it and i could say its a bit lazy in comparison to everyone else but theres sm attention to the finer details of the spines i cant get mad at it. I know you're supposed to focus on the arms with this design but i actually like this design the most for just the face. The upside down doubled face is really interesting to me and i admire it a lot for some reason.

9: the abyssal eaters

probably one of the most terrifying creatures in the whole series and maybe somewhere up there in my hierarchy of the most scariest monsters in a manga. i LOVE LOVE LOVE the whole idea of them so much bc theyre so fucking scary!!!!!! Very simple design but i never get to see stitches ENOUGH in media (which is a huge shame because its one of my favorite features to draw with body horror) so it makes me happy that all of their faces is just stitches.

THE STORY and the series as a whole

i really wish i could say i loved everything about it but everything I loved about it in the beginning basically disipated in the end. I think the main issue lies in the fact it all started in a very simple but effective manner but yagi ended up over complicating everything by adding too much. I don't scorn Yagi at all for the almost sudden and utter collapse in quality writing because its sort of an inevitability with titles that go on for a very long time. But I still think it's important and valid to explain my fascination with it in the first place.

I really liked the overall simplicity it had with everything. The plot at the start was very simple and straightforward: a woman who gives up her humanity to avenge the death of her only family. Not a unique plot of course but it obviously was the main character herself and companions (excluding raki ofc lmao) who really makes up the story.

I really liked how Claire was never the strongest. She really appeared to be but comparatively speaking to her fellow warriors she pales immensely. And I think its that remaining humanity I really liked the most about Claire. I REALLY liked how cohesive her group was and I was so impressed with the storytelling and character building in the beginning because at the time I thought this was the only other series I like I could think of other than Dorohedoro where theres a lot of characters that show up but you actually manage to sincerely remember them because they all have meaning. Too many times i run into series who introduce too many characters solely just to keep the story fresh; but none of them have any real purpose to them.

I also was obsessed with how well Yagi was with building tension throughout the story. To me I think its really hard to find series who are able to capture their readers with a good sense of tension.

The characters in this series are quite overpowered, but In the beginning I found it extremely admirable how Yagi was still able to make the reader feel anxious about whether or not the protagonist or their companions would persevere againt their adversaries. Yagi had a very good sense at balancing everyones strengths and flaws in a very balanced way.

But again with the sands of time it couldn't stay this good forever. To be completely honest it took a lot out of me to read the rest of it. It came to the point where i was so lost and frusturated about how confusing everything got i was just trying to read it just so i could be done with it?

I think my main problem with the series as it ended was how unfocussed it got with the plot. I feel like everything immediately got so muddled after the fight with Rigardo. Maybe it's just me but I honestly was ok with never understanding the organization I was mostly just interested in what was going to happen with the main cast with the abyssal ones and such. It actually made me really angry how the battle scenes got so stupid overtime with how it became one of those series where they overexplain the characters' tactics for a very long time. I initially really liked the battle scenes because they dont talk too much and they just simply fight, i really really hate it when anime/manga does the latter actually.

I don't really know how i feel about the ending honestly. I don't know if im satisfied with how claire somehow turned into teresa and she killed priscilla instead but i guess it was nice? I don't know how i thought it was all going to end but i would have never expected it to be like this and i dont say that in a good way but more of a confused way if anything. I wouldn't say it was a bad ending? but I guess thats okay???

anyways, despite all my criticisms i still think its worth the read and the credit it deserves in the end. It's really weird how it went on for so long but no one ever seemed to care? that makes me quite upset actually.

[6blackfilin9]

I love your Anko fanart! Tell me, what are your views/headcannons on Anko X Kazuku?

hThank you so much for the ask, finally I can answer it

here is my big thank you for the waitng

In a nutshell, the shipp was created by accident while me and my buddy were working on our first Naruto AU in 2019, where Kakuzu and Deidara survived their shitty plotholes end eventually ended up in Konoha

Yeah

so, the shipp’s birth date is july the 1, 2019

anything like classy, aristocracy kind of tension-filled passionate gothic romance with playful, psychological games & hurt/comfort vibes with slight scent of rivalry is KakuAnko

Basically, they are: a very, very old man with absolutely horrendous background who’s trying to finally have his mother*cking 10 or 30 years of peace, and a rather young lady with a rocky youth who’s being good & noble yet has very strong antihero tendencies

You know, I think they do have potential, since, in fact, they seem to be very similar, at the core

They are both very pragmatic realists, the people of logic and reason, yet if Kakuzu’s irritability doesn’t affect him a tiny bit due to his ideal self-control, Anko’s can lead her to quite bad places, sometimes. They put their interests in the first place, and even though she tries to attach them to Konoha’s, she still has ‘personal’ things (I’ll write ‘bout it lower*). Their mindsets are so complicatedly organized that, at some point & way, it prevents them from having many close people, and makes them very hard to see through and predict

Both of them are very flexible & adaptive, independent individuals with similar outlooks on plenty of things and high intellectual level. They clearly can find plenty of traits that they would highly respect and adore in each other

Here I will speak mostly for “why and how” kind of things, bc both of them are terribly tricky to accurately figure out. But there will be some headcanons too

So, there are still some odds about them, due to the strong difference in their occupation, like, in plenty of cases they are really tricky to be brought together, because:

- Of the job

In original, Anko is a Konoha’s special jounin, and she is very dedicated to serving the country. Independently of whether she likes her job or not (depends on the plot), she orienteers at the people, at society’s gain from her work. So, accordingly, in any other AU her job is somehow connected to civil service, whether it’s something police-like, connected to science, or something like CCG in Tokyo Ghoul

Kakuzu, on the other hand, is a hitman and a persona non grata in literally all the five big countries, Konoha too (which makes it barely possible to bring them together in the original universe without hard complications or heavy drama. But still possible). He orienteers on his own gain alone, but, depending on the job, it can include others’ gain, too.

This detail makes him a saint once he holds supervising position in some company or any high position in the government (the better the working conditions of the staff now- the more money in the prospective), and the sheer nightmare once he has it on the opposite side of the law. Him as a mob boss is a complete different topic for discussion, but to get the point, in this case, the trouble isn’t him increasing the level of criminality (its rather vice-versa), but taking hold of too much control in the high and underground structures. Even as an ordinary hitman he’s rather tricky, since everything depends on the case

In most of the stories, they come to some sort of compromise, and how hard it is to reach it depends on how shitty his job is and how attached they are to each other at the moment

Like, in the above mentioned Shippuden AU and Harry Potter AU (which I also wrote with my buddy) everything went like clockwork, because there they are both more or less on this side of the law, in Tokyo Ghoul AU (which I also wrote with my buddy) it is a bit more complicated, with her being in-law and him being very much outlaw, in the Avatar AU (which I also figured out with my buddy, but we never happened to write it) it is also pretty smooth, with both of them being outlaws and then jumping out to the glory after all the shit is done, but in another Shippuden AU of mine, this all would be just a motherfucking bloody disaster

- Kakuzu is actually a hard nut to get attached to anyone

He lived too long to be truly afraid of anything, though. Its mostly because he doesn’t really need to get attached to or become close with someone to satisfy his need for communication. The man can get along with anyone once he wishes to, he can have countless acquaintances and plenty of buddies, but he doesn’t have many comrades and barely can call anyone a friend. Because he is used to lose everything and everyone he ever had or happened to have, because of his inhumanly lengthened lifespan.

It requires time for him to get used to the person, and then, eventually, in some cases, spend plenty of it to get attached

Plus, for him, due to his profession, each close connection is a really great responsibility for him. In most cases, he’d think twice of weather he is ready to take it or not

Though it of course has the personal factor, too

In Anko’s case, she has a grand privilege by being a very intelligent and keen woman, not just in cognitive plane, but in emotional, too. High emotional intellect is actually a rare trait, so she automatically stands out of the crowd for him. Even though it won’t guarantee his alliance, it will grant her his high respect and some sort of sympathy

- Kakuzu is, technically, an asshole

He does have his moral compass, which includes a great amount of common social morality, but he also has that “I am working” state

Even though Kakusu has a set of professional principles, and he still acts accordingly to what he thinks is right, one and the very same situation can be solved diametrically different once the context changes from working to casual and vice versa

This, and him being very independent and quite antisocial, makes the degree of assholeness depend on various factors

This can lead to major conflicts of interests, and if they are possible to have any compromise or not is strongly attached to the circumstances. After all, both are very, very prideful and dignified people

- In other words, the only major issue for them would be morality questions. It’s possible to make the case acceptable for Anko, since both of them ain’t truly squeaky clean, along with Kakuzu being willing enough to watch his borders

- She is provident and doesn’t really need a lot of money on a daily basis, which is much of a joy to him lol

- *they both seek for the stable ground, first of all

Taking in consideration the life conditions Kakuzu had in his youth (despite war state, he still stably had family, friends, grand respect from everyone, home, warmth and food) and how terribly he was torn out of his secured social environment, I believe what he seeks through all his bounty hunt and other money-connected manipulations is stability. Sustainability he had back then. The only way to have it in the conditions of our existent world order is to have money (and a very good mind and luck)

Anko has indeed much more altruistic motives, yet it’s still not that simple. It seems to be, on the first sight, yet considering the “Orochimaru related cases” and her very wayward behavior toward them, it’s clear she keeps her own motives and needs in mind oh so well. The service she has is very well payed, it allows her to do what she likes or believes is right, and to have the living conditions she finds comfortable. And only here, relying on the made sustainable basis, she does what she does

- Thus, they both illustrate the principle “first help yourself, next help the other” just right

- She knows she can keep an eye on him, yet it’s clear for her that her influence isn’t borderless, as well as telling him off some stuff is kind of a not wise thing to do. So in the majority of cases, she never interferes

- This is not common, yet he can actually change some plans if the situation is serious and the compromise can’t be found. He is that kind of person who works on a further prospective, and in this context, this would be the relationship with his loved one

- While Kakuzu is quite conflicted and has very reserved controversial persona, Anko is both controversial, conflicted, and sort of two-faced, on top of that

She is a very sincere, cheerful and humbly honest human being, yet she has some darker natural traits of her character that became rather strong with age and traumatic experience. Cunningness, guile, ways-depend-on-the-case and a bit of ruthlessness, that is. Moreover, she has some unsolved personal issues, which makes her even more twisted.

Like, remember the time when she confronted Orochimaru during the exam? And Kabuto, on the war? Getting rid of them is indeed beneficial for Konoha, but it’s clear that for her it is personal vendetta in the first place. She wouldn’t have tried to do this alone, otherwise, because these two are rather dangerous ones, to say the least.

She uses greater good to cover her real motives (even though it is not truly complete bullshit), and seems to have a terrible habit to keep silence about really important things, which makes her quite prone to lying, in some cases

And sometimes it very badly pisses Kakuzu off, since it makes her prone to doing useless but dangerous shit too

Yet this not any kind of separate hidden side, it is integrated into her personality, and coexists with her bright one. That’s where her violent humour comes from, for example.

But Kakuzu, on the other side, is completely monolith individual, yet sometimes his mindset can create contradictions when it comes to something important to him. but it's another topic

And seeing these layered constructions, and motives, they can pretty finely predict each other’s behavior. Not super-neatly, but they for sure see the basis. This is what helps Kakuzu to prevent Anko from doing some stupid shit, sometimes

- Anko has a role of an indicator for the people who don’t understand and see the changes in Kakuzu’s mood sometimes, since she usually reacts quite openly. Yet, when she has the same unreadable mask of cold, or one of guile, it’s a nightmare for them

- They prefer the non-verbal way to show their feelings, even though Anko is obviously the more chatty one

- They don’t say things such as “I love you”, or other sensual stuff like that really often, believing it to be some sort of cherished words that shall not be spelled mindlessly

- Anko isn’t majorly into PDA, but she fancies it much more than Kakuzu does. She has her whole moments of studying something with her hands, whether it’s a hand, scar or face. He’s more into passive display of affection, like wrapping an arm over her waist or leaning to her or something of this kind; they can allow themselves to (not sexually) kiss in public though

- She knows he doesn’t like to walk hand in hand due to considering it a youthful thing, so there are times when she intentionally walks holding on to his sleeve; generally they walk separately in order not to bother each other, but sometimes they walk arm in arm (like an old Victorian couple lol)

- Being older and wiser, Kakuzu eventually upholds some kind of mentoring position, yet he never considers himself any kind of a teacher or master to Anko, believing her to have a good head of her own. He is just insightful enough to break something through to her or give a word of advise

- This, combined with his highly powerful demeanor, also makes him have the leading position in their relationship

- Anko respects him much enough to fortify this, entrusting with plenty of life questions (like organizing the family budget), even though they make the majority of decisions together. Mostly because he is truly wise and highly experienced individual.

- This makes him one of the very few people Anko would actually listen to and take their opinion in consideration

- So basically they have equal relationship with some tendency to patriarchal order

- And it is, really, mostly economically-based disbalance, with him earning much more than she does

- Yet they never have any financial-based issues, since both of them keep in mind and respect the contributions of each

- There is major power play here, too. He has the absolute might, she has seduction. Anko loves how he makes her want to submit to him, let him have all the power, so she likes provoking him. And she knows he adores it, loves the subtle control she has over him

- They don’t have conflicts in their everyday life. Each knows how to avoid pissing one another off

- He cherishes her playful demeanor, her intellect. Combined with her cunningness, it allows her to rival him, in social sphere. The way she constructs her phrases, the way she speaks, mimics, moves, how bewitchingly it suits her feminine snaky features makes his blood boil and heart melt

- Both of them, actually, have rather specific kind of dry, dark humour. Kakuzu’s is very cynical, satirical, quite often menacing and subtly demeaning; Anko’s is very sarcastic and quite dirty, even gruesome and rather violent

- Sometimes they “fight” verbally as a form of a play. In some circumstances they may sound pretty vile, so some unobservant people mistake this for display of hate

- In general, Anko is the one to heat things up with her playful demeanor, which can include provocation and rivalry, and Kakuzu is the one to keep this energy in borders, accumulating it up to much more intense states

- They both put the comfort in the first place when it comes to household. Everything must be cozy, useful, silent and super clean

- Yet they are both very unpretentious and modest, really

- She absolutely adores when he is showing his serious, severe side, or powerful demeanor. She finds it incredibly suitable for him. She also likes how his real age is sliding out in this or that way. Like, even though he has rather young face (that of 37-40 y.o.), his eyes give away that he’ve seen oh so much more than it seems; the grumpy noises and grunts he makes, the lazy attitude in movements and the way how rapidly he finds a comfy pose once he has a chance to take a seat

- They are both rather patriotic, yet while in the most stories Anko’s feelings mostly lay towards the country she lives in, Kakuzu’s more often lay towards some places, so called small motherland.

- Kakuzu actually could be a source of deep, strong admiration and delight for her, despite all of his bullshit. The unbreakable will he has, mighty burning heart, all the wisdom, talents and mind. Being sent to fight god damn Hashirama, clearly a genius of his times, financial & management genius at the least. And, still, after all the hard times he’ve been through, he maintained the very strong sense of dignity and nobility, even though slightly twisted due to the profession and abnormal lifespan

- And the very same things can serve as the source for her chagrin: with all those traits, he could have been so much more rather than a criminal. With all the gifts he’ve got, he could have been of great use to society. He’s much easier about this, since his prospective is much wider and embraces decades (and in some universes even centuries) instead of months & years, and he knows that he’d be switching sides throughout his life, being on this and that side of the law, yet he still is a bit uncomfortable once it’s brought up

- They are deeply into science, which makes them atheists. He’s into medicine and human biology, she’s into chemistry and reptilian biology; both of them are nuts for physics, history and psychology

- They solve complicated physical and mathematical problems together time to time. She is the first one to have tea-breaks due to losing her temper over it, he tries to figure things out right until you can sense the smoke coming off his head

- Actually, they do have a stumbling stone aside from job & morality complications. And this is Anko’s attitude towards Orochimaru

What she does is basically ruins her life very-very slowly, maintaining the issues she has and planning to make him pay for all he’s done

Kakuzu knows exactly what is really going on with this attitude and why, but he can’t really do anything about it. Like, he knows he can’t make her change her mind or put something into her head

All he can do is really nothing but try to explain how those things are working, and even this option is basically a landmine field for him. At some level she does understand that he could probably be right, yet she just refuses to go back on her mind. And this is actually really dangerous, so at some moments they can fight quite badly about it

- He’s scared shitless to lose her, though; especially like that, even though he knows clearly that he will, anyway, sooner or later

- he knows that losing loved ones ends up with sheer disaster for him, yet he isn’t afraid to pay such a high price for those six, five or four decades of being with her. Because these decades are that of a paradise ones for him. Wife and family, as well as stable job, incomes and life conditions, are some sort of physical definitions of sustainability he craves. Especially family, yet it’s far ahead to plan

- The fact that he will have to bury her one day makes her rather depressed, as well as the knowledge that the only thing she can really do about it is to try to bring him as much happiness and comfort as possible before she dies

thank you, i'd say more, but it's too much already

[percyjacksonfan3]

The Last Olympian Thoughts

So because I have absolutely 0 self-control or restraint when it comes to this series and its characters, and for The Last Olympian in particular, I could not put TLO down. Because of this I figured I couldn’t do the usual photo reaction posts I have been so far, because the spam would just be ridiculous, so I am stealing the idea from @yourstrulytaaay​ to do a masterpost instead. (Adding a Read More cause this got ridiculously long)

Fun fact, TLO came out right after i finished reading the series for the first time so it's the first PJO book i bought  and my only hard cover one for the og series. I checked the year and turns out it was published 2009, which means i was actually 9 when i read the series for the first time. I realize this is not really a fun fact but i thought i was older when I first read the series so it's blowing my mind a little ‘cause now I’m 21 and everything hits different and i still have so much love for this series and the characters Okay onto book thoughts: - i was right that this book is gonna destroy me, the first line alone made me so excited and nostalgic it's ridiculous - I love Rachel and Percy sm tbh. Her being a bit of peace and normalcy in his life without always reminding Percy of who and what he is is so good for him. Just a little escape

- of course by the end of the book that's not the case any more but by the end he's lived his prophecy so he doesn't need it as badly, plus he and Annabeth are solid again - Percy saying Annabeth has been hard to be around lately... Ouch my heart. Luke really is the last thing that keeps them from being together and Percy is so jealous and Annabeth so torn and in pain, i feel so bad for them both

- Beckendorf 🥺🥺 - the telkhine with the Lil Demon lunchbox!! I forgot about him. Percy: 'i left him alive, partly because his lunchbox was cool' is one of my absolute favourite lines tbh - Paul taking Percy crabbing and being imperative in helping Percy kill the giant crab 💖 Paul Blofis is important and deserves the world, okay? - aw Percy, you can't save every demigod bb

- 'i had to fight him eventually. Why not now?... What difference would a week make?' Oh Percy you have no idea - real talk tho, the fact Kronos possessed Luke's body would also mess me tf up. Percy keeps forgetting it's not Luke anymore and yeah, that would be so so hard and confusing af, like what another smart little mind game for Kronos to pull on top of everything else - the fact Percy fights Kronos before getting the Achilles Curse and actually doesn't die within seconds is... Astounding. He kicks him in the chest! And yeah Kronos is weaker and still adjusting to Luke's body, but Percy is having trouble fighting Luke cause they used to be friends - Percy breaks Kronos' time magic!! Like?! Boy is POWERFUL.

- OUCH - honestly Luke, Thalia and Annabeth's family breaking the way it did... Don't talk to me. Poor Annabeth, Luke betrayed them, Thalia joined the Hunters because of Luke's betrayal so she's pretty much AWOL all the time and then Luke dies. Like Rick wtf, my heart can't take it? -Percy and Tyson having each others backs when talking to Poseidon in the underwater palace is the brother-brother relationship we love to see - Percy trying to stick a sand dollar in the vending machines at school 🤦🏻‍♀🤦🏻‍♀ - the whole underwater interaction at Poseidon's palace? Perfection. Awkward family drama and all - Connor falling out of the tree when he sees Percy because he's so excited 😂😂

- 😭💖

- k, ik Clarisse isn't perfect but tbh if i was a child of Ares whose father was disrespected and hated by my fellow campers (ares deserves it but still) and that disrespect trickled down to how the other campers treated ME (which if Percy is reliable here, it obviously does) then i would also be irritated at being used for muscle and nothing else? And just expected to fight with the people who act as if they'd rather not have Ares kids around the rest of the time. Like Clarisse isn't totally wrong - Percy reading the prophecy, seeing he's meant to die and just being like 'i do not see it' and refusing to outright think about it makes me so sad for him - (but it taints every action after and he's super reckless afterwards bc of it- including finally breaking and accepting the Achilles Curse) - (also him taking this as the last straw and finally beginning to show Annabeth how he really feels, cause fuck it, he's dying anyway) - Give me more info about Rachel's backstory and family Rick!! -  how did i forget Percy willingly eats chocolates that taste like cardboard because 'i didnt have anything against cardboard' like sir? Ik Silena didn't want them but still? - 'she'd always been cute, but she was starting to be seriously beautiful' STOP, MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT - Percy staring at Annabeth and forgetting what they're talking about cause hes so distracted 👌🏻

- hmm yeah... For some strange reason.... - i forgot how Percy totally bombs this convo bw them and now want to cry 😭 Annabeth is trying to talk about what's important and Percy, you sweet oblivious man, you're shooting her down without even realizing - love that they're both on the same wavelength tho. Percy two lines before, hmm it's cool to date ppl from other cabins, wonder why im thinking that around Annabeth, my best friend in the world, and then Annabeth a beat later, hmm, let me bring up Silena and Beckendorf and how it's important to be with the people you love when you have the chance, no way Percy will miss this huge hint right? - they're the best - k i honestly forgot Percy full on physically intimidates Leneus like that - luke telling his mom if he ran away the monsters wouldnt get her..i can just imagine luke crying when he says good bye before running away because he thinks it's his fault his mom is like that and he cant take care of and protect her anymore because it's too hard - uh oh now i have angsty pre-lightning thief luke fic inspo... Him, Thalia and Annabeth on the run... The ANGST -  Rick holds absolutely nothing back in this book and i am in pain - HESTIA!! 💖💖🥰 - actual loml - i love that Rick titled this book after her and that he wrote such a great series about the importance of family (biological, found or otherwise) and home, and that he said actually Hestia is the most important bc shes the most humble and keeps the peace and knows when to fight and when to yield and you protect what you love, which is your home - i just... Adore Hestia - Grover! Missed you babes - Hades is so so horrible to Nico, always comparing him to Bianca :/ - but i do love Hades, Persephone and Demeter together they make me laugh - oh god the River Styx - Achilles 🥺 - Annabeth being Percy's lifeline is, and continues to be, A Lot™ - 'my name was Percy Jackson. I reached up and took Annabeth's hand.' LOL Why am i crying? - Like the fact there is no Percy without Annabeth, and that remembering her literally reminded him of who he is in his very soul... It's fine im fine - i won't even get into the parallels of her being his lifeline now and then later when Hera takes his memories but leaves the memory of Annabeth for Percy to fight to get back to (anyone who wants to yell about it with me... Feel free to message) - badass Percy is my fav Percy tbh - him defeating Hades?? Like? Hades is arguably the most powerful god, okay - i feel bad for Nico but if i was Percy I'd do the exact same, Nico, sorry man but this is a high stakes time crunch deal and Nico is literally the only hope of persuading Hades and distracted by his own internal stuff - flashbacks to Luke, Thalia and Annabeth hurt, ow - George and Martha are the best - damn i forgot Hermes full on nearly kills Percy here, yikes - Luke stop cockblocking Percabeth challenge

- i love!! Percy's love for New York!! So much!! - Percy leaving to live in New Rome in HoO is a lie and this is all the proof i need for why - the fact the entire last half of the book is the battle and aftermath... Such great buildup and pacing. All the tricks and twists and battles in this War of Manhattan? I would not take out a thing, Rick, you legend - of course then the final battle in hoo with the gods is what? Two pages? Ugh, don’t talk to me about my hatred for BoO and HoO - 'no detours you two' is still the cutest thing!!! - THE HUNTERS!! Thalia i missed you - good job Percy, you finally spent your sand dollar - Minotaur!! - 'dont i get a kiss for luck? Its kind of a tradition right?' Percy finds out he's gonna die and is out of fucks to give and honestly I support him - also Michael just standing beside these two while they're flirting like umm 👀 👀 while a monster army marches towards them, nbd - Annabeth taking Ethan's knife meant for Percy!!! Cause she just knows his weak spot without him even telling her! They literally invented love - Feral Percy is so scary omg, i love how well Rick incorporates the Achilles Curse in this novel, with the whole heightened weaknesses and stuff ans the parallels to Achilles arrogance being what killed him and Percy's loyalty, fierceness and protective instinct being his own heightened weakness - the fact that Percy is the one who inadvertantly kills Michael Yew tho, I'll never recover from that - the fact Hades offers Maria di Angelo a golden palace by the Styx like how Poseidon offers Sally a palace under the sea tho. Let's talk about that parallel - the entire talk with Prometheus is so so good - not me picturing young Luke hiding in the closet to get away from his mom when she has an 'episode' -i love callbacks in stories and all of the callbacks to the rest of the series in this book make me very happy (medusa, minotaur, the underworld, Rainbow!! My baby!!, Daedalus and more) - Percy summoning a wholeass hurricane against Hyperion - the Party Ponies! They're so chaotic, i love it - Dionysus! 😁 I can't help it, i love him - Percy absolutely losing it when he sees Sally and Paul asleep in the car 🥺 - Rachel telling Percy he's not the hero screws with him so much :( poor bb - although i really really love how Rick wrote this, it's so refreshing to not have one chosen one save the world, but a combination of people - the drakon, Silena and Clarisse make me cry - the Patrochilles references, im not okay - Annabeth giving up on Luke after hearing what he did to Silena and Percy telling her that doesn't make him happy 😭 that whole interaction makes my heart ache - Percy giving Hestia Pandora's pithos 🥺 - and Hades, Nico and the others coming for a final attack is so badass, i love it - listen im glad the og trio were the ones to confront Luke on Olympus but the fact Thalia got so close and then pinned by a statue of HERA makes me so sad. Ik her and Luke were finished and she coped by cutting him off completely and giving up all hope but i would pay money to know what they would have said to each other to say goodbye - Ethan 🥺 - Poseidon joining the fight against Typhon is so cool, such a great scene - 'PEANUT BUTTER!' - Annabeth you brilliant badass you - RIP Luke, you werent great but you werent the worst either - the gods just rolling up seconds too late, wondering wtf happened in Olympus and who the dead body is - the chapter where the Olympians meet and give out rewards is one of my absolute favourites (again i am incensed we didn't get anything like this in HoO) - will Percy turning down immortality ever not make me scream in glee? No? Alright then - Annabeth being relieved like Percy was relieved at the end of Titan's Curse tho - oh Hermes :/ - its so hard reading all this and knowing what comes in HoO... Like it's such a cathartic, earned and mostly happy and peaceful ending and then HoO comes along and undermines it all - aww Rick let Paul see Olympus somehow pls, he deserves it, he killed a dracanae - (i would also love to see it) - Percy being more upset Rachel took his pegasus than her going to Camp and possibly dying, lol, priorities dude - i honestly think that Rick had other ideas for the second Great Prophecy and how things would go down in BoO, cause the prophecy like... Barely applies to BoO, Doors of Death are in book four, and explabations of it is all so unclear when Rick is usually pretty good with that stuff - PERCABETH - lol Percy complaining about privacy when he and Annabeth are caught kissing literally in the middle of the very open and public dining pavilion, okay - BEST UNDERWATER KISS OF ALL TIME - that's it and im a glass case of emotion - very happy to say that this series remains my favourite of all time 💖

 If anyone ever wants to come gush about anything Riordanverse related feel free, because as you can see I have a lot of thoughts about it all

[jksangelic]

heaven’s winter (m)

RATING: M

GENRE: fantasy, fluff, smut, a hint of a soulmate au, light angst

PAIRING: village daughter!reader x seraph!yoongi (alternatively, an “angel”)

WARNINGS/TAGS: lots of overthinking/past angst regarding both reader and yoongi separately (yoongi especially), tae is involved as an important plot side character but he’s barely in there i’m sorry, surprise aggression from yoongi because u get in his personal space, slow burn smut but the smut is nice and flavorful, explicit sexual content, body worship, oral sex (female receiving), virgin!reader, clumsy cute smut uwu, unprotected sex (wrap it up pls), several positions, unintentional temperature play?, lots of love and respect up in this house and lots of other things i probably forgot. 

also i wrote a lot for the intro you can skim idc lmao.

SUMMARY: your duty as the village daughter places you in line for the season’s Offering; a tradition not to tread lightly upon. as the snow falls slow and heavy, and the seraph awaits in the shallows of the mountain, you fail to realize what the winter has in store for you.

WORD COUNT: 18,600

NOTE: welcome to my slice of the Fantastical Stories for Curious Souls Collaboration!

it’s always really an honor to be able to work with other writers and i’m really grateful that they allowed my butting-in )))): thank you all!!! make sure to check out everyone’s stories in the link above and let us know what you think!

(uhhh i just..... i spent way too much time on research and the politics behind this fic for it to still be aLL oVer tHe plaCe but please cut me some slack. might i throw in that this has no religious/cultural affiliation and instead has more of a fantastical theme to it that is entirely fictional. especially for the concept of the Offering and how i loosely throw around the word “angel” and “heaven” and etc.)

((might i add that i recently discovered that i am *terrible* at describing geography and am totally basing it off of video-game visuals........ cough cough zeldabreathofthewild))

(((this last one’s kinda important!!!!: yoongi is described to be larger than you bc he’s this magical bird being. i always try to keep reader insert broad in description but if you’re taller than irl yoongi boongi, pssst, you’re not in this universe sorry but i make the rules)))

((((this is currently unedited. @14statelier​ get to work.))))

Part One

The snow falls slow and thick. The children catching it on their tongues and compacting it to shoot at each other, screaming and wailing all the same as it continues to pile. It fell particularly early this time around, normally nothing more than cold bitter to the skin and clouds stirring prediction of the oncoming winter. You were always a heavy sleeper despite the beauty of first frost, long past your days of childish amazement through fogged windows and warm fires but you watched the icy cotton substance pile since dawn this morning. Not even drowsiness will overrun your excitement for the day ahead.

“You light three incense and make sure they burn all the way through before you turn around,” Taehee states.

“Find some stones on your way. Use them to hold the tapestry down as you set up. It looks especially windy today,” Mina adds.

Yoona finishes tucking your hair back rather tightly, “You should stop by Jin’s and pick up some extra bread. You know he’ll give you some of his fresh batch if you asked for it.”

You suppose, not even the nagging of your aunts.

You chew on your fingers, a nervous habit. Taehee pulls your slobbered index from your lips with a wrinkled forehead, “You better remember this, dear. You only have to do it once but if you do it right, it’ll be worth much more.”

You recite drearily, “Follow the path, set up the altar, say our prayers, return home.”

“Once the incense is out, Y/N. You mustn’t forget.”

“And you cannot explore the manor. Don’t walk around. Don’t look through the windows—”

“It’s a manor? How big do you suppose?” you ask with newfound interest to your words.

“That doesn’t matter, girl. You don’t wander. You don’t explore. You do what is told of you and nothing more. What matters is that you don’t spot a seraph, and that the seraphs don’t spot you.”

You never understood that rule. If the seraph tribe was so kind as to help your country win a rather one-sided war, then why the invisible boundary? To be in alliance and never interact was an odd sense of unity to you, if any. “Have you ever seen a seraph? Is it true they have two sets of wings?” You’d always been curious to the subject, a fairytale-like existence just waiting below the peak.

“The elders claim they do. A large and small set. Some say it’s necessary for having human proportions. You know, they say it’s bad luck to stare at a seraph’s wings. ” Mina says in awe in correspondence to the way she suffocates you with your robe’s sash.

You swat her away, forcing down a smile, “I don’t believe that, you haven’t even seen one! How do you even know they exist!”

“Hush! You’ll get into some real trouble if an elder catches you saying that. They exist. And they live up the mountain. And you will do the Offering with utmost delicacy and respect. Besides, you’re the only one coming-of-age this year! A girl to do it by herself is surely something the leaders will appraise of you.” You avoid their scrutinous, expectant gazes.

You could say you’ve been cursed at birth. Weak in basic skills in which an adult, regardless of age, is identified by. You lacked time management and a sense of direction, you harbored a bad habit of looking down when you spoke, you couldn’t even wash the dishes without chipping a glass. Your legs worked against you at random times, quite literally tripping you up and deeming you as a clumsy, pitiful thing. As you grew older, the only skills you were able to contribute were to the fields, where things were organic and didn’t require fragility.

“I am not as useless as you think of me,” the words come out unprompted but true and exposed.

The women gawk and babble like hens in a flurry of angered denial or soft apologies but you no longer have time to discuss unimportant matters.

In the midst, rough, giant hands encase your face. You don’t realize you’re looking to the floor until Taehyung props your chin upwards, met with smiling eyes and an ear-to-ear grin. His name rolls off your tongue in surprise.

“Hey, don’t start moping before you even start. It really isn’t a big deal. You hike all the way up to the riverbank more than the others and that’s a long way. This is no different. And think, when you come home everyone will come to realize how much they’ve missed you! Me included.”

“It’s not that I’m…” You start haphazardly. Well, it’s not that you’re reluctant to do the Offering. To adventure otherwise prohibited land and by yourself, to prove that you can handle life just fine and don’t need to be seared by the judgement of deploring eyes. Some time to enjoy solitary peace. It wasn’t even a whole day, dammit, but you’ll take what you can get. You choose to lie, “I guess I am a bit nervous. I’ll make sure to pace myself. Besides, I’d run myself short if I finished in half-a-day like you.”

Tae puffs, a little proud of himself, “What can I say… I’d like for the little ones to look up to me.” You roll your eyes, scanning your bed for your scarf. Taehyung eyes the cloth as you wrap it around, a rare moment of quiet. He stares, entranced, and you don’t think you’ve ever seen him so focused. As you think about inquiring his statue-like manner, you notice that more of the silence is due to the disappearance of the squawking hens. Those sly, evil matchmakers.

You suddenly pull him along and towards the exit, “You can’t be in here. You’ll get us in trouble.”

He blinks dumbly and slumps against your ministrations. “Your aunts seemed to be fine with it. And it’s not like I haven’t snuck in your window a few… several times.”

Your expressed sheepishness is his favorite source of entertainment, “Goodness, as kids! You make it sound so rebellious.” He winks as if you share a grand secret, all to his imagination of course.

Taehyung, on the other hand, was the village’s be-all and end-all. Born to work and carry everyone else on his back. He stands tall with his shoulders wide and prominent, chestnut waves that reached his cheekbones now. Shirt tight around his torso in ways that could excite anyone that risked a glimpse. You can’t help but find it amazing how much of a crybaby he was when you were young and how sturdy and dependable he is now. He was humorously your polar opposite.

You try to shoo him once more, “Anyways. I’m getting ready and you can’t see me. Go wait with everyone else!” His pout is jarring paired with his hard, strong build. Like a teddy bear with abs and palm blisters from years of physical labor.

His body moves on his own at some point, reluctantly reaching for your door handle, “No parting kiss upon my cheek, fair lady?”

It’s obvious he’s being more daring these days. With frequent visits and gifts on your doorstep, and now requested kisses. The whole town knew you were likely to marry him, a relief for most. But on your hand, you’ve just known him for so long. Practically since you were born. You’ve already shared kisses, you’ve already had those butterflies in your stomach; but the kisses were stolen in secret and the butterflies were stagnant. And although it was never a consistent nor official courting, you felt as though Taehyung was already a route taken. You know better to never admit that into the air, though. Not when everyone expected your cooperation with marriage at the least. To care for someone so special, and to bear his children plump and healthy.

What a static life to live, you try not to think. You instead try to blame such thinking on your inferiority complex, to at least ease some of that horrible guilt in your stomach. You should be grateful for your life. Talentless yet adored. A village princess that was easy on the eyes and sought after by those looking for that beauty and its accompanied dowry.

A proposal was near, that much you could tell with his efforts. In his perspective, the sooner the better lest he want someone else to steal you from him. Contradictory to your own reasoning, the only relief you find is that it is him, your dearest friend. Perhaps the only one to disregard your shortcomings and want to fill your empty spaces as much as he can. He cared about you and that could be enough. So you try to convince yourself of that.  

You kiss his cheek softly and without hesitation. Not so much as a blush. He suspects nothing less than mutual adoration and takes his leave like you request, leaving you alone in silence for a relieving twenty seconds. Then the hens come back inside and squabble about who will be able to sew together your future gown.

 Part Two

It starts under the old pine tree on the far side of the village. A crowd gathers as you wait under the swaying branches, mutters and looks of excitement apparent. A cleric waits beside you with three elder women who prepare your things: a woven satchel loaded with the items that you are to lay out, things like dried flowers, fruits, fine wines, tapestries, collected crystals, baked goods and the incense. A replica display of what little the humans had presented at the foot of the seraphs. Untouchable beings with class and power much above your own. Kindness as well, so it seems; to be provided with just this and offer unparalleled assistance to a hopeless cause in the old wars. You wondered if they still watched from afar, curious to the well-being of their mortal neighbors.

"Dear, keep your mind with us. You'll be off shortly," one of the grandmas whisper, placing a carved selenite athame into a leather holster and slipping it into the confines of your robe, "For protection." You smile and thank her kindly, tuning back into the ceremony and waiting for the second elder. They continue to adorn you in charms and traveling goodies, eventually piling on unnecessary weight that will, for sure, slow you down in the process. The trek was basically a day’s trip. If you moved efficiently, you should be home no later than when the sun begins to set, in time for supper even. As much as you’d like to stay out longer, you dare not risk a night in the mountains.

“—this year’s representative will be just as prosperous. May she bring good fortune and health onto our town just as the many before her has done so,” the old cleric roars into the audience, just about finishing his speech as you start to listen. You hope he didn’t say anything too significant. Can’t possibly hang on to every dry word when you were so close to tasting temporary freedom.

You make your way into the parted sea of people, some who grip your hand as you walk by to invoke strength as you move along. A few grumble good luck’s and come back safe’s. Then an angry baker charging through helpless bodies.

“Take this, you stupid girl. You were supposed to stop by the bakery this morning,” Seokjin whines, thrusting what seems to be a warm pastry wrapped with cheesecloth into your hands.

“Thank—Thank you. I’m sorry, I didn’t want to bug…”

Jungkook pops in from nowhere, hitting your shoulder a little too playfully, “Chin up, love. Don’t be back too soon.” You nod shyly as he distances behind. Jungkook always had a strong nose for your facades but he also always kept your secrets. Clutching your things tightly, you watch your boots as they pick up speed through the mess of attention.

“Good luck!”

“Watch your surroundings, little one.”

“Come home and don’t wander off!”

You leave northbound until you no longer hear their cheers. Until the snow no longer has indented prints and you think you’re alone and off to the races. A sudden tension snaps when you release your sore cheeks from an artificial smile, not even aware you were sporting one in the first place. There was always a heavy pressure when you presented yourself to the public, and while you were no damn princess, everyone ensured that you at least feel the looming responsibility of one. Curse your family’s political ties and all that, otherwise you wouldn’t give a damn if you seemed like an old witch spotted once in a blue moon.

When you reach the border gate is when you see Taehyung for the last time today. It comes as a surprise to see him waiting for you like a loyal dog, dark hair sprinkled with snowflakes, red cheeks a striking contrast against the bright setting. If you were more grateful, you’d think he looks particularly good today. If anything, it strikes you more that you failed to see his face at the send-off.

“Hey. I didn’t want to do this in front of everyone else… and today of all days but if I don’t right now, I don’t think I ever will,” he jumbles. In his hands hold a scarlet scarf, the same one you had seen as a child when his mom would occasionally take care of you, let you help bake, and playfully dress you in her accessories. All but that scarf, folded neatly and tucked into a corner or her closet.

“Oh! Don’t touch that, love,” she said, “That’s something my mother-in-law made for me.”

You had pouted then, a spoiled brat of sorts. But Taehyung’s mother’s eyes were always warm and she spoke softer than cashmere, “I have to give that to my son when he decides to marry. Will you make sure he finds the right one, for me? You are his best friend, aren’t you?”

You remember the challenge you felt, yelling without hesitation, “Taetae will marry me! When we grow up I’ll be his bride and you won’t have to worry!”

She giggled in contentment, eyes squinted in a wide smile and petting you lovingly, “Ah, of course. I know you’ll be a wonderful wife, Y/N. Taehyung will be in great hands.”

“I had been there, you know,” Taehyung chuckles, “When you claimed you’d be my wife when we got older. I was hiding in the hallway and initially, I thought, ‘I’ll never marry my best friend!’. But, now… I just can’t imagine wanting to marry anyone else.”

You grin at him sadly. Of course he had been holding onto this his entire childhood.

“Taehyung…”

“We’re still young, I know that. I just want to give you this for your trip to make me feel more at ease and so you can think about it. You can take all the time that you need. I know Mother wouldn’t mind, especially for you.” You nod. It’s all you can do. Taehyung pulls you into a tight embrace and kisses your hair. When he pulls away, he wraps your neck into the warmth of the scarf you’d always wished to wear. But it’s almost suffocating now, locking in your fate before you even step out of the village boundaries.

“For now, just come back to me. I’ll be waiting for you no matter what you decide.”

You can fathom the communal disappointment of rejecting your strongest suitor. More importantly, you would be shameful to turn down his proposal. Once it was out there, there was no “decision”.

You can imagine your aunts now, squealing in delight and sewing from their best cloths.

 Part Three

Though you never had the chance to explore much, this really was nothing you've ever seen before. An ominous stairway carved into rock weaved in and out of your trail which made it fairly easy to follow along. You can't imagine the labor that went into sculpting this far ahead and all the way up the side of the mountain; it was truly something mind-boggling. As the air begins to thin, the amount of snow starts to grow thicker. If you had waited any longer into the winter you wouldn’t even be able to see the path, you’re sure.

You only need to stop twice to catch your breath and sit down. Snacking on the bread Jin gifted you only a few hours ago. It’s satisfying to look back at the area you’ve covered, how small things look from your height and the beauty of a fresh snow blanket. The scenery to the riverbank was nowhere as near breathtaking to that of the mountain. A dreamscape of evergreen trees and varying shrubbery, crossing over a short wooden bridge floating over a near-frozen stream, even occasional wildlife prancing into view. The summit itself wasn’t terribly high. It was manageable to hike for the most part, more so that your goal wasn’t to reach the peak. 

You could travel all the time, you think. Hike or take a horse somewhere farther than here but that’s not very practical. There was nowhere really to go and you didn’t have the luxury to just up and leave your household, and now Taehyung. The knots in your brain seem to loosen, blame the inclination and dry air infiltrating your head. Knowing your life was to be faced someday and all your immature ambitions to leave the village now seeming childlike and unattainable. The pessimism had yet to blow out your weak flame of philosophical rebellion but it was surely keeping you in check.

Judging by the sun's position, it's midday. Meaning it shouldn't be long before you catch sight of the "manor" and thus will be halfway finished with your journey.

You nearly walk off the cliffside before you notice the route's abrupt change and how it slithers deeper into the eye of the mountain. The farther you walk, the closer the earthy walls begin to shut in on you in a trench-like structure. It's even more unbelievable coming upon a short archway, perhaps man-made and mined through a boulder that could have fallen from atop one of the peaks. Being here, you realize, makes you feel small. Slithering through the terrain like a fairy in the tales your mother had told you at night. Of beasts and cryptids that could appear in the tangles of forest and vanish all in the same. There was a sort of dreamlike trance you found yourself in as you walked under the rock as if it were a portal.

And, unexpectedly, it's there. Atop a few more dreadful flights of stairs, hidden between an odd bundle of trees and beneath a fresh veil of snow, you can barely make out the silhouette of a house. It's still a bit far and eerily surrounded by fog but it's there and it almost looks as if it's... floating. Like a gateway to a secret nook of heaven.

It's one of those odd, puzzle-like mirages when you climb more steps to think you're only getting farther from the house. The swaying of branches keeps you from determining just how big it is and what it could possibly conceal. Even the atmosphere, chill and intimidating, makes your heart skip in perplexed anticipation. Having been at this for hours, if the staircase hadn't just ceased you would have kept walking straight into the dark wooden door.

But your aching legs find relief in the stretching flat surface of a porch and your exhilaration to reaching such a majestic destination that you could squeal. Of course, you don't, and instead get started at the task at hand.

You kneel onto the cool floor and begin to unload your things, neatly and without the need to rush. You lay stones on each corner of the tapestry to hold it down, you lay out the contents in somewhat of an aesthetically manner, you strike a match to light the incense and you mumble your thanks on behalf of the village, all as you were told. The snicker under your breath comes unwarranted as you finalize the display, even Taehyung couldn't have done this well.

It feels a little anticlimactic; a little short-lived. To have come up this whole way and spend a maximum of five minutes in somewhere you could spend days exploring. Idling, you can practically hear the warning clucks of your aunts engraved into your brain.

"Don't dilly-dally!"

"Come straight home."

"Even think of doing anything funny and I'll have Seokjin roast you alive."

Maybe it's why it's even more satisfying to you when you ignore them altogether, standing from your position and just dying to see the rest of the manor's exterior. One peek, one peek and I'll never stray from instruction ever again, you think. Just my last burst of freedom and then I promise to be a good girl with no more personality than a wet dish rag.

So you tiptoe to the massive door and lean your ear against it as if you could hear anything with its size and the strong winds. You questioned if anyone even lived here, void of any decorations or signs of recent activity. Maybe the deer would get to the food you laid out before someone even stepped foot on the property prior next Offering.

When there are no obvious indications of life do you weasel your way around the corner, an extension of the porch wrapping around the side of the house to much of your assumption and revealing an expanse of space. The cabin was two stories at the least, maybe even three if not had been for the first story windows and how incredibly tall they were. You could only imagine the comfort of being inside such a space, being able to wake and watch the snow behind a glass wall of incredible proportions. While you ogle the window do you, of course, fail to realize that it's transparent and startle a bit when something begins to move.

The reflection makes it a bit difficult to pinpoint, a large dark figure shifting ever so slightly in its confines. Like a complete buffoon, you near the wall even closer with squinted eyes just making out the shapes of an entity.

Whatever it is, it's incredibly large. A heart in shape and composed of monochromatic blacks, reaching the floor and surely much taller than you. It was killing you that you couldn't figure out what the hell it was, well-near leaning against the glass as you peer into the private space.

You freeze in place as the elongated heart is really in the shape of wings, accompanied by a body as they’re dragged behind it like a veil. Long and dark and ruffling occasionally as their owner rotates a bit...

But you don't get to see his face. The man in which you firmly believed could be nothing but a myth; as propaganda by the village elders to keep your actions in check. Rather, the seraphs were more authentic than you could have ever imagined, and as magical and inspiring as it may be, so are the Offering rules that are now proved and justified, and that could only mean that this was very, very unfortunate timing to be snooping around property that was not yours.

Your feet scramble backwards in attempt to flee out of sight, instead graciously slipping against the frozen wood and causing you to land quite harshly on your side. Your hip burns at the impact but more horrifyingly important, the crash rattles the side of the floating stoop and his eyes burn into your pathetic body. The moment is wedged between fractions of a second, eye contact barely existent but it's enough to see the daggers in the seraph's irises. It's enough of a warning for you to get back onto your feet and sprint as carefully as possible away from such a gaze that could light this winter wonderland into disastrous flames.

All that comes across your mind as you rush down the steps is how wrong you were. How you unjustly became more and more skeptical of the stories and legends of the creatures that existed in the crevices of the mountains. How numb you became to the warnings as your age drew near for your rite of passage. How much of a taboo you would become if you were to ever tell a living soul that you witnessed a seraph and its marvelous wings. Not that you would.

Your ability to run brings you to the realization that you forgot your things but it was beyond you now. For once in your life, you cherish the idea of being home and hiding under the covers in the tranquil warmth of a familiar fireplace. To dream away the moment that dark angel caught a sly fox trespassing into his territory and, rightfully so, looking as if he craved to skin it alive.

You yelp at the sudden caw of ravens as they fly overhead. Their screeches send shivers to your bones, a sudden chill slowing you down. Rustling in the nearby trees deem you completely terrified, a gut feeling deducting the possibility of winds blowing that strong in the middle of dense shrubbery. Your heart drops once more; your athame was left in the abandoned bag.

The last time you had seen a wolf was when you were barely a toddler, sleepily held in the arms of a younger (and much kinder) Mina. It lurked in the woods just past the fields, a little young and possibly separated from its pack. But wolves were smart and they knew better than to make trouble in a town of loud humans. You remember the way it pulled its ears back and slinked back into the sanctity of its wild home and never to be seen again.

These wolves were smart too, howling their announcement upon finding a small, weak girl all alone and oozing dread. Two pairs of eyes track you as their corresponding bodies stalk out of the bushes, large and sleek and beautiful. Both grey and both incredibly hungry, they begin to pace around you maybe 100 feet away. You startle back and up a stair, most favored option to return to the cabin and retrieve your bag, maybe stay near for a bit until the creatures leave but then another, black and larger than the other two, barks harshly and stands its ground on your sacred steps. You are royally trapped.

“Stay… Stay back,” you warn dumbly, looking to the only open direction in the woods. You wouldn’t be as fast as on the path as long as you had to maneuver through the snow but you could possibly break off a hefty branch. Enough to ward them off to get back to the cabin and pray that the seraph doesn’t pose more of a problem than flesh-eating hounds.

So you sprint, robes clenched in your fists and boots sinking into the pillows of ice, disappearing into the trees and disregarding the snarls that start up behind you. You look desperately for something, anything to help you. Snow begins to find its way into your shoes each time you trip over yourself, wetting the soles of your feet. Hands scraping against bark with each twist and turn and your fingers burn. You only look back occasionally, seeing no more than one pair of eyes at a time at a short distance. This must have been a fun game to them, howling their contents into brisk air.

The black dog truly appears from nowhere, a flash of teeth from your left peripheral before it tackles you to the ground the same moment you find a dead branch and thrust it into its snapping jaw. It all happens too fast. You yipe as you roll through the fall, wolf teeth still digging through your only weapon and snapping the poor thing to two. In pure desperation, you dig the sharper broken half into whatever it’s willing to hit. Fortunately enough, the wolf whimpers and tumbles off you. Then you’re off once again, adrenaline ringing in your ears as you don’t even care to recall which way is which, as long as it’s away from, what can you assume was, the Big Bad Alpha.

More howls from them, more cries from you.

You’re able to return to the path without another spotting. It turns out you were going the wrong way when you’re also met with the narrow exit and that cursed archway. A gateway to inevitable death.  

Halfway through the gap in manic rush and you’re face to face with a beast so pale that it camouflaged with the flurry encasing you both. Eyes clear as water and almost… comforting. Even with the low rumble in its throat and one paw in front of the other in a slow, tantalizing chase. The others growl behind you, an enraged black-furred monster bleeding from its right eye socket turned quite smug now knowing that you were completely, utterly trapped.

It’s when the white wolf soundlessly drags a deep wound into your thigh while the three merely watch is when you ascertain that it is, undoubtedly, the pack leader. You fall back as the beautiful thing toys with you, snatching the front of your thick robe and shredding it with a sickening rip. You scream for the first time this entire chase, grabbing at Taehyung’s scarf in fear that it got caught along with it, caring for it more than your own life at this point.

The scream must have been piercing enough to discombobulate your attacker, it’s large ears flitting around as it jumps away from you. It’s even more of a shock when they all flee out of the divide, leaving you bleeding and too traumatized to move an inch. Whatever alarmed them devastates you even more.

The ravens caw loud and the ground vibrates. Watching the birds circle in the sky, you notice the way pebbles begin to crumble from each peak, how snow begins to over pile on such weak grounds and the way it begins to slide inward.

It’s an odd sound; snow sliding against other layers of snow and having so much weight that it pulls a few small trees with it. And this trench-like area only had so much space and you were positive the amount of white that begins to hurl towards you would fill it like a water cup; bury you with absolutely no chance of being able to dig your way out. Despite your fear, you cower at its charge and wait for the weight to hit.

 And then your head lolls back against something wonderfully warm and dry. You were completely soaked but too exhausted to shiver. In your last moments of consciousness, with your neck craned uncomfortably, you see the ground as the sky and the sky as the ground and feathers as feathers. You think of home. Think of warm summers where you would dip your feet in the riverbed. Think of bonfires with Jungkook and Jin and Hoseok and even Taehyung. But everything is still snow and you think you’re beginning to loathe each damned flake. The only comfort you find is the homeliness of the carmine red material that blows softly against your face. With that and the fleeting thought that you might be righteously transported to heaven do you finally pass out.

 Part Four

Yoongi wasn’t particularly fond of humans. Unlike his brothers and sisters that sympathized with such weak creatures enough to put their own lives at risk, it was just something he would never come around to understand. Species were organized and separated for reasons and intermingling was a curiosity that died ages ago for him.

Which is all a hypocritical contradiction when he sees you sleep soundly on his common room couch, changed into dry clothes and buried beneath a heap of duvets. Whatever had possessed him to go after you was pure impulse after the stunt you pulled on him. Prowling around on private property and, more importantly, breaking the village’s strict ritual rules. Catching him going about on what would be another unmomentous day in his schedule, creating enough of a ruckus to capture his attention, and then fleeing as a feeble mouse.

It’d be a lie if he had said he didn’t watch you scramble away down the steps from the comfort of his front door and a fresh coffee in hand, watching you stumble over nothing on your way. It was more when you had left your things like a pure imbecile, food and tools and all, and left without even waiting for the incense to finish burning. It was then that he came to the conclusion that you were incredibly clumsy and that served as entertainment to him.

The howls were his test of will. Knowing the dogs were way farther up the mountain than they normally were and supposing they had followed your poor, unfortunate soul during your trek, waiting for the perfect time to strike. And you were practically handed to them on a silver platter, considering you’d left your only knife on the cold wood of his porch.

Maybe he had come down, grumpily disturbed from his peaceful Saturday, more to save himself from cleaning the remnants of someone eaten in his vicinity more than the compassion to save you. But that was a tad bit too cruel, even for him. He thinks it was more of that uniquely curious glint in your eyes as you practically skipped into his sight. Daring enough to ignore those rather ridiculous warnings and try your luck. Delicate as a deer in hunter’s perspective. As often as he’d go out to restock supplies in neighboring towns would he never come across a visitor in his own domain. Call him quaint, but it was a mediocre surprise.

He prods the fire, making it crackle and reflame with more vigor. It had barely been a few hours since he’s saved you by the skin of his teeth, almost caught in the landslide himself.

He checks the wound on your leg once more, cleaning it again before securing it in bandages. If only he had gotten there faster, Yoongi tsks, but you’d strayed from the path and he could only follow the prints so quickly before they were covered by the flurry. By the time he found you again, you were knelt in front of the pack and submitting to your death. Had he not been on a hill, had he not been able to utilize his useless wings to glide down before the snow had claimed you first…

You groan softly, unable to roll around without a searing poker sinking into your thigh with each attempt. Contrast to the icicle state the rest of your body sported. You felt like hell. Like hell in hell guarded by those hounds. Hell in your thigh and hell in your head and hell in—

“Don’t move too fast. You have a fever and I just replaced your bandages,” a disembodied voice orders. Your eyes snap open to tall, wooden ceiling. Sitting up is your first horrible mistake, dropping back down immediately with a pained wheeze.

“I just said not to move too fast. If you can sit up normally, you should drink some water. I have some here,” it speaks again. You try again cautiously, blurry spots ruining your vision the farther up you scoot. A silhouette is kneeling beside you, maybe a cup in his hand but you’re too jumbled to confirm.

Yoongi tries his best to fold in on himself, lowering the obvious limbs stuck to his back and appear as human as possible. You wouldn’t be able to run again in your state but he tries his best to be courteous to your skittishness anyway.

“Where… Where am I?” You dazingly question. You don’t really… recall too much. Last memory somewhat muddled between your send-off and contact with those treacherous wolves, very few in between and serving no importance if you couldn’t remember how it ended.

“You’re safe in my house. In the mountains still. You passed out pretty good out there, been out for a bit. Now drink.”

It’s easy to do as your told with you’re running off little brainpower, downing the water hastily.

The voice scolds, “Hey, slow.”

At some point, you can see again. The blankets that cover you and the large room you inhabit. Of course, the seraph from earlier that awaits by your seat. His seat. But you feel no urgency to scurry into safety. You were discombobulated, sure, but you knew enough that this man was kind enough to bring you into his home and care for you. So you fold back the material slowly and watch his face contort into confusion as you try to stand.

“I’ll be on my way. I’m sorry to have bothered you. Thank you for treating me.”

“Woah now. You’re in no condition to be standing. Besides, the path is blocked. Snow was too heavy and caused a slide. I doubt it’ll clear until the spring,” he informs, looking out the window as if to drag your own attention to it. The snow stopped but it’s fallen a few feet, at least. The path, you remember, chased by wolves and led into an ice trap. The few split moments in which the man must have scooped you up before your demise, remnants of being carried back towards his estate.

His place, in which is even more amazing inside than it was outside, a luxurious wooden mansion of sorts, tall and spacious and filled with those incredible windows that displayed better than you could have ever dreamed. The man himself that sits beside you draws full attention. Despite his position, he was large and still intimidating as the moment you crossed sights for the first time. Hair matching his wings in dark palette, soft and delicate looking. His face anything but, sharp eyes and thick brows, lips that curved into a simper. Above all, he looked more human. Even as radiant and prepossessing as he was, if the cape of wings didn’t follow him where he went he would look just as human as the rest of the population.

“Are you a seraph?” You ask dumbly. Dumb, because he laughs and because he obviously is.

“Are you a human, pretty thing?” He retorts. There’s no condescending lilt to his words but it makes him seem otherworldly to you. With such a provoking question and your lightheadedness, he seemed a blessing to be inhabiting such an earth.

You melt into the cushions once more, leg throbbing and eyes heavy. You watch his wings as they bob with his breath, “They say it’s bad luck to lay eyes on the wings of an angel…”

“Why would that be?,” he scrunches his nose, maybe a little appalled by the idea, “Such a misleading myth. Besides, I’m no angel.”

You don’t know why he stands to leave the room after that, unnoticing how you fall back into sedation a minute later.

 Part Five

You wake with clarity. Check your thigh to find it almost completely healed over except a now lingering scar. All’s left is a dull soreness but god it felt so much better. Enough to stand and stretch in the empty room. Enough to coherently realize that you only wear your underwear while the rest of your garments hang torn and sadly on the fireplace screen. It’s not as unbecoming if it had to be done for the sake of your health and wellbeing, right?

Getting dressed is easy when you don’t even bother with your robe, the gash decreeing it useless and instead tying Taehyung’s scarf around your shoulders as a shawl over your tank. You’re lucky it didn’t get torn.

There’s a fleeting moment where you really think you miss Tae, feeling a little regretful to being so afraid of his proposal in light of the recent accident. You’re sure he must be worried sick; must think you’ve perished under the debris and snow if he’s come to look for you. As his best friend, you solemnly wish he was here to hug you close and promise that it would all be okay. To fend off your shame and welcome you back into the village with teary eyes and a warm smile.

“Ah, human. You’re awake.”

You whip around to discover fox eyes in the door frame, poorly lit now that it’s nighttime. The moonlight pairs well with how it sits on his milky skin, almost something out of a painting.

“It’s Y/N. Not ‘human’.” You answer a little sharper than you mean. He notices too, quick to wave it off since he really had popped up out of nowhere. He tries your name once on his own tongue, a satisfying thing to say.

“Pleased to meet you. I’m Min Yoongi, in case you don’t want to call me seraph all the time.”

You suddenly grab your thigh, rubbing it over your pants in questionable disbelief, “How long have I been asleep? My leg is almost fully healed…”

He rubs at his eye, a little nonchalant about the scene at hand, “Only overnight and throughout the day today. It’s probably quarter to nine about now. I had medicine to help your cuts heal over nicely. Call it, uh, advanced seraph technology.”

The gashes hadn’t been incredibly deep to begin with, thankfully not going any further than the first layer of skin and just really causing some bleeding, but it was still amazing. The feeling is short lived. Even if only a day, you’ve overstayed your welcome.

“Thank you, um, Mr. Min. For saving my life and everything after that. I’d like to repay you sometime. But for now I’m afraid I should be heading back, I’ve stayed for too long. I’m sure I can find some way over the path.”

It dawns on you that Yoongi is a little facetious, especially when he purrs a, “Well you can do whatever your little heart desires, but I’m here to remind you that there is no path. Here, look out the window.”

You do, tiny bit distracted when he stands by you to point out the ridges of the mountains that surround you. “See those? How they curve in towards the top and how it sort of resembles a bowl? This area was made only for seraphs to get in and out of generations ago; flight only. Trying to climb it would be suicide on both sides. The path that goes through was strictly for human use, and if that’s blocked, there’s no way out, little one.” You weren’t the shortest in your village but Yoongi truly was massive, both lanky and filled-out somehow. Like there’s underlying strength to his lean build. You’re sure if you were to stand directly in front of him, the top of your head would barely surpass his sharp shoulders.

You disregard his name for you, a bit annoyed at this point, “Could you not fly me over the pass?”

Yoongi repeats in disbelief of such a daring request, “Fly… You over the pass… No. I’m sorry. I won’t do that. If you truly want to figure it out, you should do so soon. It's storm season."

Gritting your teeth, you express your discontent for once. What did he save you for, then? For points? You didn't know members of the almighty seraph clan were so keen to half-completed deeds. "And why not? Wouldn't you rather I be on my way? What am I supposed to do if I can't leave?"

"You forget yourself, Y/N. Did I not save your life? Chase after you and save you from being crushed? Buried alive?" He takes a second to straighten himself out, aware of how you look to your feet in frustration.

"Hey," he starts again, "I know you'd like to go home. I only tell you the truth of your situation in its entirety. If I could fly you over the pass I would but unfortunately, I'm out of commission."

You feel heat in your face, embarrassed of the way you address a complete stranger even after all the things he's done for you. But this was frankly a sticky situation to find yourself in, trapped and unable to get Yoongi to help you any further. Though you do wonder what he means by his last statement...

"I'm... I'm sorry. I don't mean to make demands. I'm just scared and in a place I'm not used to and I'm not quite sure what I'm to do from here. Is there no one else who can help me over?"

Yoongi averts his gaze before he shakes his head, "I'm the last one in this country."

That's even more odd to hear but you don't prod for information that isn't yours to learn.

In silence, you contemplate the work that even went into carrying another human body by use of wings that were structurally built for the owner's own weight and possibly nothing else. Now was not the time to be ignorant.

“What am I supposed to do?” You mumble weakly. Yoongi watches your gears turn warily, stress surely beating down on you.

He rubs his neck, ruffles his left wing, “Listen. I promise I’ll help you back come spring. You won’t be able to make a dent in the landslide as long as it continues to build with snow every night.” He tends to forget that humans are pack animals, often lost without one another and feeble in the hands of species not of their own.

Your doe eyes, beginning to well with tears, convince him over tenfold, “I’ll help you in any way possible to pay you back for all the things you’ve done. I know I’ve caused nothing but trouble but if you have the room, is it possible I stay here?”

And Yoongi had enough vacant rooms to house a whole herd of deer now that he’s been alone for these sum of years. It really was no trouble… and he could make use of you as long as you stayed. His brow shoots up, “You can stay.”

Your grin is enough to light the whole room encased in night’s darkness, looking back down to the ground now knowing you had some hope to hold onto in such an eventful day. A whisper of a thank you Mr. Min is thrown in and Yoongi can feel his fists tighten.

He clears his throat, standing a little taller than he already is and acting strict, “But there are some rules. And you can just call me by my first name.”

 Part Six

 It's always a little weird trying to adjust to new scenery. Though your past experiences have been anticlimactically different than this; not exactly the first time visiting a friend's house or dropping off delivered goods from Seokjin's shop and awkwardly facing an elder who forces you to stay for tea.

Yoongi had shown you around the areas you needed to know. Offered you the closest room to the main part of the house with a king bed, fresh sheets and your own majestic window to stare out of. The living room which you had rested in before and the kitchen, grand and spacious just like everything else. He showed you a greenhouse out back that was utterly ginormous. Stone walkways and a hot compost keeping it from freezing, rows of plants you both have and haven't witnessed before. And again, he showed you what you needed to know.

That goes onto the chores he assigned you as long as you stay, to help him clean come Sundays and manage the plants throughout the week which served as no problem. At least with horticulture you proved some use, struggling throughout the weekend to do anything else but cause Yoongi a bit of a headache.

Tuesday rolls around and Yoongi stops by your room with stationary. Tells you he has a messenger bird to deliver any letters you desire to send home and you hop on the opportunity quicker than the landslide had tried to eat you up.

Of course, it was an exceptionally long letter. Longer than the papers Yoongi had given to you and he had to fetch more when you looked absolutely devastated sitting at your desk. You began with the simple phrase, "I'm okay." Filling it with a volley of explanations and apologies, how you were nearly killed, how the seraph had scooped you up to safety and how you inhabit his home now until further notice. You write how you talk, sure the recipients are sure to read in hushed mumbles and run-on sentences. You explain that there's no use to try to get home now while the clouds continue to precipitate and gate your only exit from the bowl-like wonderland. You end with how you miss them already, a request to send back an update or two every once in awhile, and a final wish to have a happy winter without you (though you're sure they won't appreciate that joke).

You think, if they really receive the letter, how terribly furious they'll be with you. Taehyung and Jungkook will probably come hiking up the mountain to try to put a dent in the debris and fail miserably. Your aunts and how they must feel even the tiniest bit of guilt for thinking you so small and helpless. Mina and her jealous wonder that you've done it now, how you've seen a seraph before her and you're positive she'll have a flurry of questions when you return. When you return.

You come out onto the balcony to pay your respects to your so-called "messenger", pretty white thing large and wide-eyed. Humorous is the familiar to another winged being, bird of a feather, you chuckle to yourself. Yoongi pays no attention when he murmurs directions to the bird and sends it off, straight in the direction you were hoping.

Thursday and you think you finally have your routine down. No longer unsure in the hallways and able to sit when your work is done without feeling completely out of place. It's only when you're around the other member of the cabin do you feel a little subdued, reminding you that you burden him and quickly finding something to do out of that guilt.

❋

Today you feel a bit sluggish. You drag yourself down the corridor, opting for the bath until you see a dark head in an open room. Yoongi sits in his study, presumably reading with his back facing you. You can't say you've seen this room before, ceilings just as tall and walls just lined with books, journals, art pieces and things of the like.

"You can come in," he snickers suddenly, maybe feeling the heat from your eyes boring into the back of his head and warming the space entirely.

"This is amazing... Your collection, I mean." You force yourself down in a chair, hands trapped underneath your thighs in case they feel like touching anything.

"Thank you. It took quite a bit of time to build it up. Not by myself, of course."

It makes you ponder. If he's mentioned his state of loneliness twice, then your questions were expected.

"There were more, right? Family of yours? Why are you the only one left?"

"One question at a time, yeah?" He swivels around and takes off a pair of reading glasses that you would have liked to inspect on his face a bit more, "I can't leave because I can't fly, remember? They left because they held no other duty tied to this land. That's all."

You quiet. He returns to reading whatever it is on his flat desk. "Why can't you fly?"

"Because I was hurt."

"How were you hurt?"

"Next question."

"What are you reading?"

"A story of a girl with a terrible habit of too many inquiries."

"You know, I loved to read when I was a kid. All kinds of things. Novels, studies, maps even. Now I never have the time for such pleasantries." A wistful sigh leaves your lips.

Yoongi eyes you beneath his lashes, watches as you survey the room with giddiness and hands taut underneath your bum. "Why's that?"

You frown, "Too many things to do. Jobs and cleaning and family and stress. If I have time to read, I have time to be doing something more important."

His lips curl, amused at this little play-thing in his room. Like a child scolded all her life, whining and pouting in front of a stranger. Yoongi stands tall and shrugs his sweater tighter around him, "Well then, you'd better hop to it."

"Hm?" You squeak, chewing on your lip when you meet his eyes. So innocent.

"You only have the winter to read these. I'd get started soon. After work is done and you want to poke around in here, feel free to do so. Take them to your room if you'd like, just please return them."

And he swears he sees damn stars in your eyes before he turns and leaves the room. He hears your immediate footing once he's halfway to his room, little yelps of excitement enough as his thanks. Yoongi can't help but smirk, eventually floating away and speaking way out of earshot for you to hear.

"Nothing is more important than the things you want."

 Part Seven

 After a month, you find it a little boring. After receiving a teary letter of how your family misses you, not one ounce of scold or chastisement more than it was just wholesome relief to see familiar handwriting, their only wish was for you to stay obedient and not write so often as to waste poor Yoongi's paper. It was typical, somewhat stress-relieving. And that was that.

It was often you spent your quiet interest reading of botany and romance (in what little you found of it) preferably in his study on days he's holed up in his room. At this point, he still remains somewhat of a mysterious entity, conversing when he must and accidentally showing his face once or twice like a ghost. The only times you really see him are for Sundays with idle chit chat.

One particular evening you find an old, ratty recipe book. Handwritten and falling at the seams and that's how you know that there are some golden tips in there for you to test out.

You choose pumpkin bread. Something to warm the palette while ice continues to build outside. And working in Yoongi's kitchen by yourself was oddly fulfilling, no one to correct you or send you off to another job if you fail to do the first. It's probably why your bread turns out perfect, slicing the loaf and placing a piece on a small plate for a friend.

Rather, someone you'd like to establish as a friend.

You haven't seen him once today; not odd but a little lonely. Pacing on the carpets and looking for an open door with any sign of a sly angelic being. Even after a month, it's the first time you've freely made something with intents of sharing with him. Was that rude of you?

Coming upon a jarred entrance, you speak softly, "Yoongi? Are you in there?"

No reply.

You clear your throat and toe the door open just enough to stand in its frame, "Yoongi? I made some pumpkin bread for us—"

Thank your soft voice does it not wake him, still a snoring log in a bed even larger than yours. His limbs sprawled widely, laying on his stomach and breath soft and slow. Sleeping in the middle of the day while his guest slaves over the stove must be quite nice, huffing subtly and placing his plate on his night desk. Sure to be spoiled even more when he wakes to a treat.

As you turn, your eyes can't help but dawdle over the expanse of his wings. One covering a naked back and one hanging off the side of the bed, a marbling effect of muddled sepias and ink blacks, occasional golden ochre pigments seeping through the deepest layers of feathers. It was utterly breathtaking. This has to be one of the first opportunities you've had to inspect them so, equating staring at his monstrously large wings the same as blatantly staring at his junk.

You draw close like a moth to a damn flame, checking to assure he's still sound asleep. Reaching delicate fingers, you dare to lay a palm on the mass. It's surprisingly strong, an odd firmness as you slide your hand down silky plains and watch as the feathers ripple by your touch.

Then, as if you weren't dumb enough to foretell the upcoming events, he wakes.

A whirl of darkness encases you, whips you around so fast that you see stars in the middle of day, completely flipped and pinned to the bed beneath you. The intense heaviness makes you recoil, unable to budge your wrists and legs with Yoongi's strength.

And his face of unadulterated fury is one that would be ingrained into your memories forever. Pupils dilated and nose scrunched like prey warding off predator. Yoongi was surprised to say the least, a scared frenzy of confusion as he growls down at you.

"What were you doing, human?"

Your weeping gains no mercy, "Ow, you're, you're hurting me!"

"What the fuck were you doing?" He spits.

Incoherence is not what he asks for but that's all you can give, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I won't touch them again I was just—"

His wings which were so beautiful to you before, makes you feel nothing but fear now, flapping angrily as he keeps his balance and shrouding you in shallow lack of light. When he lets up on his grip, you gasp like he also held your breath. Immediate relief streams through your blood, though he continues to trap you between his thighs. He asks you again and you sob.

"You know what happened the last time I let one of your kind close? Nearly fucking killed me for no reason. You know why I can't take you down the mountain? Why I'm stuck here by myself? Because a goddamn human stole my ability to fly. I can't fly anymore, do you understand me? That's all that I was and they took it!"

Yoongi sees the pity etching onto your face like some sort of charity case. With your pathetic excuse for tears that claim to sympathize with him and it makes the bile in his throat grow. As for you, you could have never imagined such a travesty. Those words that seem to bounce around in your skull, to be wholesomely one thing and to be rid of it by someone else's doing, you could never relate to that.

You itch to relieve his pain in some way as if he never lashed out on you to begin with. Like you were the one truly at fault here even though you know it's a two-way situation. Your hands struggle to not touch his face, to attempt to alleviate those dark, regretful feelings. "Yoongi, I'm so sorry. I would never—I would have never known--I'm from one of the villages where we look up to the—"

"Yeah, well I don’t trust people," He cracks, lungs filled with muddled sorrow.

Both of your breathing is ragged. He takes his leave off your body and sits on the edge of the bed, wings lamely drooped.

"Leave." So you do.

 Part Eight

 You find the most beautifully carved wooden bow the next morning. Sun barely risen and adventuring around in nooks you haven't looked through before. You find it, accompanied by plenty of arrows, leaning against the wall right outside the backdoor. Though it's been months since you've last hunted, you ache to make use of yourself. Wearing bundled layers of the clothes Yoongi let you borrow from what was left and bounding through the condensed areas of the woods behind the cabin.

Food isn't scarce to hunt for, you've come to realize. Rabbits abundant and easy to kill once you got the hang of it once more. Two are struck and red seeps through white. You always sink your knees into the ground after each kill, whispering your thanks before you move back to the house.

Taehyung's father had taught you the basics of hunting and fishing and everything that came after that. Skinning and cooking and preserving the flesh something everyone in the village should learn to do, he had said. Even after your mistakes, even after your hesitation for your first kill, he'd always pat you on the back and reward you with the first bite of fresh food.

You miss them all, especially now. It wouldn't be long until you saw them again with maybe a bit of heightened skills. You hope they'll be proud of you.

Yoongi wakes a little after you're finished cooking the first rabbit. He stumbles in quiet and groggy, as if having no recollection of the previous altercation. But he doesn't speak, doesn't so much as look your direction before he plops at the head of the dining room table and begins to sulk in an odd inner-turmoil state.

You wait a minute or two by garnishing the meat unnecessarily; perhaps he was waiting to say something. To apologize. To ask questions. To kick you out once and for all. Well, you'll beat him to it then.

You set his plate down in front of him, the jarring sound breaking his trance enough where he can finally meet your face.

"I hope you don't mind I used your bow. I cleaned the arrows afterward and put it back where I found it," you hesitate. "I appreciate your kindness thus far; to take me in like this. I was a complete stranger and you gave me shelter anyway, so I thank you. I've packed and cleaned and I—I think it's time I leave now. I'll find a way to get over, I don't care. And I'm, I'm so sorry for all the trouble I've caused, Yoongi. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable but I overstepped my boundary way too far yesterday and I apologize profusely."

You find that you dig your nails into your palms as you talk, head craned parallel to the floor and you wonder if Yoongi could even hear you when you were so rudely speaking to the rugs.

"Stop, you don't... You don't have to leave. There's still no way you can get over the snow." He massages the back of his neck, tense in his own skin.

"I'm so sorry," you repeat. "I let my stupid curiosity get the best of me and I can very clearly see how that made you feel alarmed and uneasy and—"

He cuts you off, "You know the myth, right? How it's bad luck to see a seraph's wings?"

Confused, you nod.

"It's not literal. It's a metaphor that it's bad luck to see our vulnerabilities. Our faults. Years and years and years ago, when the war was still active, I got mixed up with a human. Within enemy boundaries. I was naive and trusting and they made use of that. They sought out my weaknesses, ate 'em up and covered my suspicions with false adoration and love," he says the word like it's an illness, "But then. But then one night, they put something in my water. Drugged me. Something was wrong and I didn't fully go under. I suppose their original plan was to take me, probably torture me as a prisoner. But I caught on and still had a bit of composure and when they realized the drugs didn't work, they sought to kill me instead. Used a dagger and plunged it into my back as hard as they could. Right," he reaches an arm behind and massages a spot, "Right in the cross-section of where all four wings meet. I should have been paralyzed but we're tough. I can still move them but I haven't been able to fly since. Thank heavens I wasn't killed but..."

You can tell by the way that there’s no emotion in his statement, how true it rings, "That day, I might as well have been."

You wipe the pools of tears with your scarf, heartbroken for the shattered man that sat in front of you. Having to bear the sight of his wings every day and full-knowing he would never be able to use them again.

His voice croaks, "In their eyes, my own family's eyes, I commit a sin just by making such a fool of myself. The war ended and I was punished. They left me here and claimed loneliness is what I deserve."

Yoongi then realizes he sounds as if he's trying to justify yesterday's actions and literally sinks to the ground, "This isn't supposed to be a pity party. I just thought you might want to know why I am the way I am and how I had no right to snap like I did. I know you're from the north most village. And that you would never try to do what they did and I was wrongfully paranoid."

Then, out of all things unexpected, he grabs a bare ankle and lifts it out of the length of your dress. When you hobble, he grabs your gentle hand with his other to balance you. He can see the marks he left, not too dark but enough to tell and he can't help but despise himself. In pure remorse, he presses his lips softly to each bruise, not lingering for more than a second, before cowering to the ground with his head low.

"My sincerest apologies, Y/N. You don't have to leave if you don't want to. I prefer if you wouldn't. I'd like to get to know you and redeem myself, as selfish as that may seem. Maybe, until spring, I can make up for the things I've said and done—"

You sputter, voice too high and full of embarrassment as you struggle to pull him up, "Please! P-Please get up! I am at fault here! Don't kneel, please! You have nothing to make up for!"

Mouth agape and eyes wide, he watches you yell your affirmations and weakly tug on his arm. It was like watching a little kid throw a fit and that makes him chuckle aloud, how could he have ever suspected you as harmful? When your large eyes shed tears like no other and you impulsively make decisions for others before yourself. You were kind and he could see that. He laughs hard and you stop your squawking.

In disbelief you fall to your knees right beside him, looking plain stupid while you're at it. It occurs to you that you've never heard him laugh like this, smile so wide that his eyes crescent endearingly and it just lights up the room. After watching his handsome face radiate forgiving happiness, you join in too.

You eat rabbit together. The conversations from there on out easier to come up with, more emotional and found in the midst of tranquil understanding. Like you now shared a bit more of each other than before.

Occasionally, you think of all the sadness he must have accumulated until now. Of the things that happened to him that shouldn't have, and those years of isolation and abandonment that he suffered. But now you realize, too, how he's able to laugh and continue on despite those melancholy winters in a desolate place that he once called home. How it's all he can do as his only sign that he's still alive.

 Part Nine

The weeks after that seem to breeze past you; time racing when you have more things to do and someone to do it with. Yoongi really meant it when he said he would try to make up for his past harshness; never daring to miss a meal, spending more time in the livelier rooms if it meant that it was to accompany you, going as far as helping you out with your own chores if he hadn’t taken them over entirely. It was a polar opposite of who you knew before.

The first time he joined you to hunt again, in favor of how you had cooked his meat the last time, he layered himself in clothing that made his appearance softer than you’d ever imagined. Leaning towards darker garments that contrasted against his opalescent skin.

In some haughty attempt to show off your archery skills do you aim for a squirrel in a less-than-mediocre angle, letting the arrow fly without a second thought and piercing good ol’ trunk. Yoongi had a fabulous time laughing at your mishap, yanking the wasted arrow from the bark and handing it back to you.

“That was a horrible shot,” he said.

The temperature of your cheeks could have melted the snow, taking the thing with shaky, embarrassed hands, “I was being hasty.”

“You got two rabbits. I know you’re good. Let me just show you some things.”

You walked behind, letting him tread through the snow first so it was easier for you to fall into his prints.

“There. Squirrel,” he whispered. Probably the same one, mindlessly crawling up and down trees like target practice.

“Let me see your form again.” You aimed, self-conscious and probably showed it. You shivered when he swiped a hand under your grip arm, pushing it back.

“Keep it aligned with how the arrow is facing. Completely centered. You can widen your feet a little too,” his voice soft. “Don’t completely lock your elbow but tighten your back muscles before you hold. Does that make sense?”

“Mm. It won’t stop moving though, the squirrel.”

“Watch this.”

Then Yoongi had dug through the snow for a small stone with enough weight to throw. Aiming for a far tree to the right, he tossed just hard enough to cause a knock to echo in its vicinity. The squirrel halts, presumably looking for what caused the noise in its unknowing last thoughts.

“Shoot.”

And it landed perfectly.

He watched you silently each time you had knelt next to the victim and mutter your thanks, both sorrowful and appreciative. It was the first time he ever witnessed someone, frankly, talking to dead animals and at some point he asked you why you did so. You responded with a giggle, briefly claiming how all living creatures deserve the same respect, to be mourned, to not be wasted. Yoongi finds interest in the concept of valuing each as their own and of the same importance in the Grand Circle of Life, probably something his family would never have stopped to think about. The seraphs had always placed themselves above others in a deserving, self-righteous kind of way. It made him think.

❋

A particularly windy night and you caught him in the seat of his study's window, drawn to the mirage of colliding trees and listening to the croaks of the house on its plot. A muddled bottle sat on his desk, its glass counterpart being twirled in his hand.

"Do you like storms?" You asked.

"I didn't used to," he answered, unfazed by your sudden entrance, "Caused problems a lot of times. But I think they're pretty fun nowadays. And you?"

"I like when there's thunder and lightning."

Yoongi faced you at that, your twiddling fingers and the way you scanned the dim room.

"Would you like to join me for a drink?" Although it was a question he poured you one anyway, barely anything more than a few sips worth. Obliging, you took the liquid. Pride a little stung in all honesty, pretty aware of your high tolerance.

He tittered, "Don't pout. You can pour as much as you'd like. But this stuff is ancient, concocted from poison and the desire of Death itself. Watch yourself."

It was always a trait of yours to take on a challenge, though, ignoring his warning and foolishly gulping it down. The burn was subtle despite its awful, awful taste, yet you poured another and let Yoongi watch you spiral down the rabbit hole.

Two stories and one half-glass later and you draped yourself very unladylike on his desk, too warm and too moist and too loud.

"Yoongi..."

"Yes?"

"Min... Min. Mr. Yoongi."

"That's wrong but that's me."

"Yoongi you have to keep a secret. That I'm going to tell you! From Yoo—from Yoongi!"

"Wait, that you're trying to keep a secret from me or—"

You must had forgotten, instead focused on bunching your skirt and tying it higher up your thighs, "Soooo hot. Too warm. I'm going to leave it like this, ‘kay?"

"You don't have to pass it by me. They're your clothes," he said, biting back laughter. His accidental peak of pretty, bare legs could have made him think different though. Reverting his gaze back out the window, he wouldn't have been surprised to see lightning that night.

Taking his eyes off you wasn't his best idea. Hobbled out of his chair and sneaking to his place with hands buried in feathers before he could shy away. Yet the wonder stained your eyes with childlike amusement and he wouldn't dare change that face. So he idled in a flustered mess, relaxed in the way you unknowingly massaged his muscles.

"Pretty wings, Mr. Yoongi... Can I touch them?" You asked stupidly. Yoongi grumbled.

When you finished evaluating, you swiveled awkwardly and tripped over his knee, a yelp escaping your lips as if he wouldn't catch you in one swift motion and onto the safety of his lap. Yoongi could smell the bite of alcohol that stained your breath; could see how swollen and red and beautiful it had made your gentle face. The proximity was deadly and your innocent, apologetic features could have slain him right then and there. You didn't even make another peep, eyes drooped in what he assumed was embarrassment for your clumsiness.

In which he thought wrong, your hands slapping each side of his face and squishing it together horrifically. "Pretty face, Mr. Yoongi."

"Alright, time for bed."

You fought all the way until he tucked you in, out with soft breaths and sprawled arms. Even after he had laid you down to rest and calmed back in his lair, there was no slowing the fondness that grew in his ribs.

❋

You don’t know when you’ve started looking forward to Sundays, springing out of bed in the morning with a green thumb and a will to dig, or so you imagine. You knew Yoongi would be waiting for you in the greenhouse and spent a little extra time rinsing your face, doing your hair, and double-checking nothing was in your teeth.

Yoongi was already checking the pots when you had gotten there, wrapped in black per usual and winking as you walked by. The familiarity by now was tangible. There was always a nice flow to your conversations and Yoongi doesn’t back away when you naturally find yourself in his space like he used to. It was both a prideful accomplishment and an endearing new relationship that sparked joy every time you were able to do something together. To step back and see the difference over your time spent here, the things you’ve done, and the way Yoongi warms up slowly.

He watches you mindlessly hum as you harvest what you can, voice soothing when most times it would have been dead quiet. That’s what it felt like being around you: like a void suddenly filled, his whole being gravitating to your aura. You were addicting, if he had to admit.

The scarf, somehow pristine despite how often you wear it, is shuffled up your neck as you do one thing or another. Like a constant reminder that it’s there, you always feel the need to touch it.

Yoongi points to it, “Did you make that yourself?”

“Hm?” You follow his line of sight and crumple the red thing in your hands, “Ah! No. It… It was a gift.”

“Ooh, from a suitor?” He doesn’t mean any harm when he jests but it prompts the things you’ve left at home. No matter how much you’ve tried to suppress it down and not nitpick on the responsibilities you’ll have to return to. Awful as it seems, it makes you take notice to the sun and how it begins to peak out more with every day. You push the thought down once more.

Instead you laugh nervously. Yoongi knows immediately when you say nothing but, “Mmm…”

His gut twists from a melting of surprise and disappointment. How could he be so dim? To not even hypothesize the mere possibility of someone else being in your life. Though the feeling weighs heavy on his head, he speaks lightly and with a smirk.

“You must miss him then.”

“Yes. Of course. We’ve known each other since birth and have been best friends for as long as I can remember!” You chuckle, “He gave this to me right before I left and claimed we could get married once I returned. I was so shocked that I made myself sick thinking about going back. Just nervous, I suppose.” Taehyung, as expected, never said anything in the occasional letter updates to you. He meant it when he said he would only wait to talk about it for when you came home but you ponder how he feels now; what he’s been doing. If he’s changed his mind once he’s realized how incapable you are that you couldn’t even do the Offering correctly, but you know that isn’t true. Maybe just wishful thinking.

You throw dead leaves in the compost and Yoongi eyes you.

“’Shocked’? It’s not something you’ve been looking forward to?”

You look down, “It’s not that I—I don’t know! I just have seen him as family for so long and then there’s this sudden proposal without even talking about it beforehand… And everyone expects it. For me to just be married and have a family and all of that but I just, I just don’t see that for me so soon.” Your words begin to jumble and Yoongi hasn’t seen you so stressed within the span of twenty seconds before.

“Forgive me and my input but isn’t the most important thing what you want? You could just turn down his proposal,” He suggests like it’s the easy answer, hoping you don’t suspect a hopeful tone in there.

“Does it really matter what I want?” You stop to think about the people who matter to you and what would ease their minds most when it comes to your future. Marrying Taehyung seemed like the only option. “I can’t turn him down simply because I don’t want to. That’s selfish.”

“That doesn’t make very much sense to me.”

“Well,” you sigh, “in the village it’s courtesy to accept a marriage proposal regardless of how you feel. It’s the receiver’s obligation to be grateful towards—”

“Is that how humans treat their women?” Yoongi spits, agitated just by the thought. He leans against a table next to you, arms crossed like he’s simply not having it, “To ignore your own say and force you to think you should just be appreciative? That’s some bullshit.”

“It’s not as serious as I’m making it seem it’s just…” You think of your aunts and the elders and Taehyung’s mom. How you’ve grown into a nuisance, lacking here or there. The time where you were supposed to return to the village after a successful Offering and marry and finally be someone to be proud of. “In my case, especially, it’s probably better off I’m just someone’s wife. I’ve never been much to begin with.”

And that’s truly heartbreaking for Yoongi to hear, so much that he becomes enraged with whatever twisted society you grew up in, “Y/N. What have you been doing these last few months?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“I mean, what have you been doing? Just sitting around? Watching me sweep circles around you? Serve your meals on a silver platter and draw your baths? No, because you’ve been doing that yourself. For yourself. By yourself.” The look of confusion on your face causes him to huff before he continues. “Sure, you were a little rough around the edges with some things but who isn’t? You hunt, you cook, you read like no other, you do a lot of great things and it’s not because you’re trying to do it right. You do it right when you like what you’re doing.”

“Yoongi, I understand. Thank you but you don’t have to—”

He walks toward you, lecturing on. “I know it’s by unwanted circumstances. But has your time here been horrible? Have you despised being here and doing these things?”

Your answer is immediate, “No. Not at all.”

“Has it not been nice to have your own space and do things simply because you want to? Because you were thinking of yourself?”

“I-It has been… I don’t know where you’re getting at.”

Your legs hit the corner of another table and you notice he’s backed you up into it.

“So, you go back and you do what you want like you have here. Don’t worry about what they think. Wait until you’re ready. Marry for absolute, unwavering love. Be a little selfish,” Yoongi hooks your chin with his index and props it up. You didn’t even realize you were looking to the ground. “Look up.”

Your heart stammers, “But Taehyung…”

So Taehyung is his name, Yoongi thinks. He frankly does not care.

“Do you love him?”

“W-What?

“Perhaps I was mistaken. Do you want to marry Taehyung because you truly love him?”

You see his lips before you hear his words, parted and nearing you bit by bit. So close that you feel his warmth, aching to close the distance. “I…”

A shovel clatters onto the stone and Yoongi removes his arm that’s found its way around your back, shuffles backwards and lets your hand fall from his face. It was natural to touch him, you realize, unaware that you feel distant and cold when he’s away.

Yoongi picks the damn thing up and curses. It wasn’t like him to be so forward, close to doing the unimaginable to you. You, who was involved with someone else. Heading towards the door, he ruffles his wings like he’s restarting.

“Forget I said that,” he requests, “I’m going to wash up.”

You nod, frozen in your spot with legs too unstable to dare walk. Without even knowing you had reached for him, so close to doing something you’ve only been secretly daydreaming about of recent and how incredibly wrong it was for you to think this way. But in another sense, you would feel worse lying to yourself by saying you weren’t attracted to the seraph. It was a twisted contradiction of emotions and you could scream.

Needless to say, you don’t see Yoongi until the next day, and even then nothing is mentioned of the almost.

Part Ten

On Tuesday, the bird returns with a letter from your family and Taehyung. It’s brief, with evident relief that the snow is melting and how happy they’ll be to see your face. Your heart sinks at how much you miss them yet how angry you are to receive the letter. To what extent would they be happy to have you home? Until you dare humiliate Taehyung when you turn him down? To dishonor your name and his parents and gain the glances of people who care more about your failures?

You calm and shoo such immature feelings away. Yoongi is confused when you don’t send a letter back and you return to your room early that night.

❋

You haven’t had a full night’s rest that entire week. You’re sure Yoongi notices the tension and that makes you feel horrible, but the lingering necessity to run to him and never go back to the village is too prominent to just face head on.

He’s been checking the trail every day, making dents on the softer parts of the snow when he can and updating you when he returns. You know he doesn’t want you to leave and you know he thinks you feel the same. Maybe it would have been better if you hadn’t said anything about the proposal that day.

Flipped onto your back, you stare at the ray of moonlight that floats atop your bed. You would miss it here, so much that it hurts your throat. You would miss the windows, the kitchen, the greenhouse, the library that Yoongi was happy to share. It goes without saying that you would miss him the most.

Unprompted imaging of a possible future with him interrupt your thoughts, something so uncertain and fortuitous in comparison to the stone-set fate you have now. What the stoic seraph would think if you just asked him to stay a little longer, until you know you would never leave. The landslide and how much you had hated that unfortunate event seems so insignificant now, replaced with a dimmed appreciation for this life detour, no matter how short lived it will end up.

You’re probably on the verge of sleeping now, thinking of the incident and it’s wild connection to your present out of pure lunacy. You could bet your entire existence on the fact that you were meant to meet him; your entrapment by the snow no mere coincidence. Neither was Yoongi’s endless solitude atop this mountain. It had to be fate that you two were to meet at this moment and your heart feels it so strongly.

Even for you this could be too far-fetched, or maybe you were just trying to cover up the way your heart is undoubtingly falling for Min Yoongi.

 Final Part

 You prod the logs, provoking them to catch more of the fire. In your last night do you decide to pour a glass of wine, kneel on a pile of blankets and snack on the charcuterie board you made for yourself. In the past, you used to be so hesitant about helping yourself to the manor’s amenities, having no problem doing it now.

The lame, weak fire is your only source of light in the large living room, clouds blocking the moon from shining through. You feel, immaturely, just as cloudy. Set in your intentions to leave your feelings locked away as to not cause more trouble, confusion, and inevitable heartbreak.

“You look quite comfortable,” Yoongi surprises you and he can tell when you jolt. Speaking of the devil. He looks great in the dark too, leaning against a wooden pillar with folded arms.

“Well, it feels like I’ve lived here for quite a bit. Just,” you break to sigh with exaggeration, “soaking it in before I leave. Too beautiful to not.”

If not for the crackling between the wood, it’d be dead quiet.

“Would you like to join me?”

He titters, rolling his eyes before he walks your way. Laying on his side, you offer him your glass. “I hope you don’t mind that I used the wine from the ritual contents. With the stuff you normally drink, this must be nothing.”

“Like water to me but I’ll enjoy it nonetheless.”

You cheers to nothing with one glass to share. Occasionally picking off meat and fruit from the board and enjoying how the fire builds up.

“Your family will be so happy to see you.”

You hum. You suppose they would. Avoiding the bitterness you still associate with the thought.

“And I’m sure Taehyung will be too.” He says a little clipped. Not in a way to be facetious or sarcastic but because he feels the need to address it.

Yoongi is caught on the carmine scarf again, downing the rest of your poor wine.

Forcing a smile, you speak faintly, “Let’s not talk about that.”

At this point you both know. He nods to keep you happy, but there is no hiding or pretending. In front of the flames, your lies and justifications seem to melt away unspoken. Changing the subject, you shove him lightly, “You’ll miss me when I’m gone. I don’t think you’ll ever learn to bake as well as I do.”

He tuts, which is refreshing. “I’m great at cooking and baking, I’ll have you know. It was just nice having someone else do it for once.” You feign betrayal and scoff aloud. He mumbles low, “But I’ll miss you for more reasons than that.”

And he breaks an unmade promise not to bring it up again. Feeling the need to throw it out in the open and even with the simplicity of admitting that he’ll miss you, you really know what he means. The seraph feels for you. He feels deeply. Yoongi doesn’t expect a response, just pops more food in his mouth and rests his eyes.

You contemplate, following suit with a bite to a grape and thinking hard. What to do. What to say. How to say it if you did. You weren’t supposed to feel this way and it goes way beyond the rule of even coming in contact with a seraph, let alone unconsciously falling in love with one. 

But that’s just it: how you live by assumptions and rules based off the words of the ignorant villagers and the elders, how they all believe the seraphs are all still here, how they think there’s a direct relation to the Offering and a year’s good harvest, how it’s bad luck to see a seraph’s wings when it’s brought you anything but. If you learned anything from this winter, it was that you found you own way of living, thank the curiosity your home curses you for. Making your own path instead of aimlessly walking one that was already paved. You learned to trust yourself a little more while Yoongi propelled you forward and believed you deserved it all. You learned you did deserve more. You learned what love really felt like when it was new and fresh and exciting and real. And Yoongi. Yoongi, Yoongi, Yoongi was the wine to your previously empty glass, and this winter with this man, it was heaven.

You decide the realization is enough for you. Have been gifted with so many things and blessings that you’re grateful for the chance to have met someone like him.

“I’ll miss you, Yoongi.”

Yoongi tastes bitter in his mouth. He felt that if all these years left alone in a manor of silence and rejection was to eventually meet you he would do it a million times, but if all you could reciprocate was this then it just wasn’t meant to be for him. It felt unfair but it also wasn’t his decision. He takes the sourness with him and stands. “I suppose I should head to bed.”

Your sad stare breaks his heart, even more so when you give up and nod. The fire catches your attention as it pops and you leave it at that. He tries to walk away, footsteps haunting, until he stops altogether.

It comes unexpectedly when he wraps his arms around you tightly, pressing his knees into your back. A weird sight it is to see his wings unfurl and curl around your rigid body. “Are you satisfied? Is this enough for you?” His voice is soft, like he could take either answer as long as he heard it from you directly.

“No.”

“Why don’t you ask for more.”

“You’ve already done too much for me, how could I possibly ask you for more?”

He hisses liar into your ear. “Is it your family?”

“No.”

“Is it him? Taehyung?”

Here you are again, faced with a question that tore you apart in the garden while you ached to be with Yoongi anyway. But there were no distractions here; nothing to interrupt your thoughts. Just you, Yoongi and your truth. He loosens his grip so you can face each other, knees between knees. Instinctively, you reach out for his feathers and indulge yourself with their softness. He pushes his wing into your hand as if to bribe you like a child.

He grows impatient, “Do you love him?”

You don’t waver, “No.”

A quick glint in his eye, a sort of relief, and then he finishes what he’s started and kisses you. It’s wrong how right it feels, lonely lips moving in tandem to find comfort in one another. Yoongi leans into it, absolutely devastated by your simple touch. The strength of the wine remains on your lips and he can’t help but lick into the flavor, drunkenly entranced by such luxuries. Yoongi’s hands can’t stay, snaking up your back, caressing your face, dragging his knuckles across your jaw and finally grabbing at the scarf. Carefully, he unwraps it from your neck, slow enough to feel it tickle your shoulder blades, before he folds it respectfully and places it elsewhere.

You sigh, more weight taken off your shoulders than there should be.

“Is this okay?” His voice raspy, speaking into the corner of your mouth. You’re stiff, nodding shyly and lacking the fire you brought up until this point.

He rewords, “Do you want me?” Yoongi feels the need to confirm, waiting for this moment for so long that it seems superficial. Like if he’s not careful, you’ll disappear into another one of his many short-lived dreams.

“Of course I want you, Yoongi. I want you more than anything…” But your eyes flicker to the ground, your lip tucked between your teeth.

“Then what’s wrong, lovely? You don’t have to.”

“No! I want to, I just… I’ve never done this before. I want you so bad but I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing—”

His laughs are light, his hand on the small of your back as he dips you onto the floor. Holding himself above, he plants a soft kiss on your cheek. “You don’t have to do anything. I’ll take care of you. I want you and we’ll go slow and if you decide you don’t want to anymore, we won’t.”

The way he makes you feel, how gentle he is, you couldn’t imagine a more perfect way for this to happen. It eases you slightly, letting your arms snake around him in an attempt to let your guard down. He’s patient and wonderful and you mumble about it. “Mhm, okay.”

The night robe he’s gifted you now poses a problem, his slender fingers looping through the bow that keeps it wrapped, “Can I?” You nod again, and he unties you like his own present. The feeling of being bare in front of him becomes apparent when he sucks in and the heat from the fire dances against your skin. Other than that, you look to the window to avoid his face.

“My love, look at me.”

His commands are easy to follow but you cover your breasts to hang onto your last bit of pride, granting eye contact at the least.

Face flushed, you can tell he, too, is trying his best. “You’re incredible. More prepossessing than I could have ever imagined. You shouldn’t be embarrassed in front of me.”

“Well,” you retaliate, “it’s hard not to be when I’m the only one naked.”

He grins at the challenge, sitting up to shed his layers, never noticing his garments having to wrap around in a way to accommodate to his wings. You just thought it was just a more ornamental way of dressing that the seraphs took to. He’s left down to tight underwear that hugs him incredibly, beautiful milky skin exposed and tinted with golden light. “Satisfied?” He lilts.

“You look like an angel,” you trace indents of faint abs. Wide shoulders that taper into a tiny waist, a slim build that you could study forever.

He kisses your words away, pushing you into plush comforters and pillows. A makeshift nest unintentionally built for the two of you. A groan rewards him when he licks your bottom lip teasingly, taking your wrists swiftly to pin them above you. “Pretty thing, I don’t have a halo.”

He starts from the top, kissing each inside of wrist before moving down your arm, slithering onto your shoulder, then into the crook of your neck with gentle suckles. Teeth grazes before puncturing, eliciting a yelp from you that satisfies him. He does this over and over, decorating the canvas of your neck.

“I want to burn you into my memory. I don’t ever want to forget this,” he moans with a wake left down until he meets cleavage. His muscles were relentless, impatient and eager, wanting to worship ever square inch of your body as you rightfully deserved. Your squeaks serve his purpose, his muse as he continues his ministrations down.

Out of nowhere, “I don’t want you to leave me, Y/N.” The profession makes you giddy, happy you’re not the only one who feels so. A hidden insecurity acknowledged and lifted.

“I don’t have to if you don’t want me to.”

“Let’s talk about it after?”

“Mmm.”

He reaches your stomach and doesn’t hesitate to nibble there too, flinching when your hand flies to his head and buries itself in his hair. He ditches his current plan to grab your hand and plant a kiss to your palm in a second, making you giggle.

He admits, “I like when you touch me.”

“I want to. I feel so useless letting you do this alone.”

“You’ll get a chance if you’d like later. But right now, it’s all about you.” Husking it out. Of course, the idea sounds blissful, but the scene of having you cum by his actions sound better. “Need to cherish what’s in front of me properly.”

So he dips dangerously, laving at the skin above the hem of your panties and hooking his fingers under the sides, “Please,” he breathes.

“You… can do whatever you’d like to me. I want it all.”

He tugs his lip between his teeth, pulling it down. An unexpected wetness strings between your skin and the cloth and you both see it; him amazed, you horribly mortified. You stutter trying to explain yourself, oblivious that you could even feel as aroused as you do now. But his forehead falls onto the jut of your hipbone and you can hear subtle teasing in his tone. “I-I’m just as nervous and that was so incredibly sexy. I don’t think I can go on, shit.”

You laugh stupidly. “Quiet! Not another word! Just hurry up and—”

That terrible habit of looking away becomes your biggest fault, unprepared for Yoongi to filthily bury his tongue into your heat. He flattens his tongue and tantalizingly drags up until he can just barely flick your clit with the tip. Growling in the process.

“You are so sweet. The sweetest I could ever have. You will be the end of me.” Rushed in panted breaths as he does it again. And again. And again. So much that the growing sound of wet against wet echoes in the empty room and renders you paralyzed.

The feeling of it makes you squeamish, like you want to move, buck your hips, pull his hair. Despite the lewdness of having his rough tongue against you and lapping you clean, you could never ask him to stop.

“You just… keep getting… wetter…” He says between turns. “You really wanted me this much?”

“Yoongi—ah! Please, I can’t. It feels weird.”

“You don’t want me to continue, my love?” He asks lightly, blowing cold air onto damp skin and really forcing you to buck.

“No! I just… I have never felt like this. I want you to but I can’t sit still.”

“Oh? Let me help you then. But you have to let me finish.” So you shyly nod and loosen your legs. He uses the prompt to scoop them underneath his arms and attach the back of your knees atop his shoulders, your hips curving up and towards him in a new, tight position.

“Yoongi!”

“No matter how you feel, just let it happen.”

Sultry wails are music to his ears when he brutally sucks on your clit, licking your folds here and there and using all his strength to keep you in place. He spells out his love with his tongue, digs it into you sweetly. His power, though, anything but kind.

“Uncover your eyes,” he orders deeply.

You whimper, begging for mercy.

“Look. At. Me.”

Unveiling your view, his stare immediately burns into your veins. Looking at you under dangerously slanted lids and that sinful mouth. Holding you in place with strength that could leave prints into your soft legs. With one roll of your clit under his teeth, you feel in ways you never knew how, as if all the pressure that built up in your abdomen suddenly overflowed with a tight burst. Choked sobs and hand gripping his hair enough to make him moan into you, vibrating wonderfully as he works you through it. 

He lets you go, remnants of syrupy arousal trickling down his chin; watches your legs fall open widely and your chest heave for air. Your features bring him joy, loving the way your hair sticks to your face with sweat, eyes closed, and brows knit together in concentration. He loved seeing you painted in warm hues and although he was never an artist, he could replicate this scene exactly how it’s displayed in front of him.

“How do you feel, lovely?”

You respond with a weak smile. “You’re so cruel… Min Yoongi.” You felt flimsy; weightless. A feeling you could come to love too much if you aren’t careful.

“I just wanted to make you feel good,” slithering back up to rest his head in your neck, giving you more kisses like you haven’t had enough. You’re happy he’s back, massaging your hands over his torso, up his neck, down his spine. And then you hit it and he tenses.

Thick and raised, an area between his wings that softly juts out. It was fairly large and the texture varied from the rest of his beautiful planes of skin. It was a scar. Wide as a dagger.

“I wish it wasn’t there. I know it’s—”

“Yoongi, baby.” You nudge him to lift his head and he does unwillingly, face turned away. “My Yoongi, it’s nothing. What happened was horrible but it’s over. And I will do everything in my power to make it up to you by giving all of me.”

His lips stop you tenderly, a whisper of affection that pours out love, “You didn’t do anything. In fact, you’ve made me better. I wasn’t able to feel anything for a long time until you. So. Thank you.”

Any remaining embarrassment vanishes. Not when Yoongi’s done his part and you would do anything to take care of him.

Sweat molds your bodies together, heat emanating from a fire that’s ablaze now. There’s a private summer in this room while winter continues outside and it feels special to you. It’s hot here, hot when Yoongi scrapes his teeth against yours, hot where his pelvis lays. You take notice to the hard thing twitching against your thigh, making you flinch.

“Ah, I’m sorry. And we’re in A Mood and all.” Yoongi snickers.

“Don’t be,” you purr, feeling a bit lustful and reaching down to grab it through the cloth.

He hisses, “Fuck! Fuck, please, I’m so sensitive at the moment.”

Ignoring him, you unskillfully maneuver your fingers around him. Just touching to be familiarized with it. He surges forward accidentally, sighing in your ear as he shamelessly humps the space between your groin. You use his distracted state to pull his shorts down, the sudden reality of his skin touching yours bringing about sensual noises from the both of you. A sudden spurt of precum makes it easier for him to drag his heavy cock against your hip.

“I’m sorry. It just feels so good.”

“Stop apologizing. I’ll help you.” You stare down as you flick your wrist, encircling him with fingers shaped in an o and pumping him slow.

“Squeeze,” he pleads and you oblige.

“Is it… supposed to be this large?” It’s a stupid question to ask, especially when you’re not entirely clueless. You know his size exceeds average proportions.

“Don’t spoil me. Seraphs have always been larger than humans. Height wise, I was the smallest of my brothers though.” Which seemed unimaginable to you, not when he towers over you and could easily devour you in a hug. Cock hanging low and barely able to keep in your single hand. He must be acting coy.

“Now you’re just bragging!”

“I’m just being honest. I’m automatically pleasing to the likes of you,” he chuckles.

The dampness overflows, smears over your skin in incredible amounts and how you wish you could taste out of pure curiosity, but he has other plans for you.

“I don’t think I can hold myself any longer. Please.”

“That’s… fine. Um, should we? Like this?”

“It’s so hot, could you flip on your side?” You roll and he figures he’s made a mistake. Entranced by the way your weight, breasts and soft curves, naturally gravitate down in a seductive pose.

“Like this?” You ask, unaware that he could simply die right now.

He lifts your leg to rest on his shoulder again, easy to stretch. “Perfect, my love. I’m going to go slow. If it’s too much we can try again another time, okay? No rush.”

Challenged by his kindness, you shake your head, “I’m fine. I’m ready.”

Whatever’s left of the arousal between you both is more than enough to let him enter easily. Head of his member no problem to push past that initial tension.

“Okay?”

“Okay.”

But it’s his shaft that makes you keen, entire length seeming endless as he fills you and overloads your maximum space. You cry, nerves making you writhe, “It’s not going to fit all the way—hah…wait.”

Yoongi struggles to hold himself back, perspiration dripping down his nose, “Are you okay? Does it hurt? It doesn’t need to, I’m pretty close to being all the way in anyway.”

“I’m fine,” you pant, head lolled to the side as he stretches you out in an odd, numbing way. “You can… you can move.”

His hips test it, pulling out so little to only be sucked back in with a leveled grunt. “Baby, you’re barely allowing me to.”

“It feels so tight,” you sigh, worried that if you move it’ll really begin to hurt.

“Ah, really? Let’s do this then.” He quick to please, wanting your pleasure before his own and getting you to flip, propped onto your elbows and filled from behind. Smooth chest meets your arched back, him hiding a kiss below your ear while he’s there. A moan aches in your throat as his dick unintentionally digs deeper inside, easier to move and to the hilt.

“Is this better, Y/N?”

“Hah… Yes. Yes, so much better. So good. Please move.”

His hips roll, just enough to grind into you which feels nothing but euphoric in itself. You mimic each other’s lusty whimpers with every movement. Caving into each other’s kisses and licks and pants that you feel synchronized.

Yoongi grows impatient with himself, exaggerating how he pulls out and slams himself back inside. The mere force that he fucks into you sends you forward, opting to lay on your chest and bite the blankets beneath you to keep from screaming. “You feel so good. So, so good. I’m sorry it hasn’t been long, but I feel like…”

His wings fall at his sides and cover you in shadow. It’s weird to see them like this, in a way you could imagine the perspective of having them yourself. But it covers you in unnecessary warmth and makes you grunt.

“It’s hot,” you admit with a quick breath, “Let me on top. I’ll finish.”

The way his member slides out; the way it leaves you tensing over nothing is a sad, needy feeling. You don’t slow at the chance to lay him down and take control, straddling him and watching his face contort in loving awe.

Sitting on him is an entirely different feeling and Yoongi keeps himself from cumming inside you right away, a choke in his throat. “Fuck, fuckfuckfcuk. Y/N, I won’t last like this for long please—”

“I’ll make it quick.” You lean over him, palms to the ground as you start moving, grinding and using him to your advantage. The nerves start again and you shake with pleasure.

“Yoongi, Yoongi, Yoongi!”

Slender fingers dig into your velvety hips as he forces himself into you with harsh, quick jabs. “Baby, I have to cum.” He smooths his knuckles over your cheek, pulling you down into a tongue heavy-kiss in an impossibly fiery caress.

The ramming he enforces take incoherent sobs from your lips. You feel a ghost of a smile, sure Yoongi is enjoying your shameless display of indulgence; coming undone before his very eyes.

You arch into him, clenching tighter and falling onto his chest. With impeccable timing he pulls out, strings of hot white flooding between your stomachs.

“A lot,” you complain.

“Mmm. Because I’ve been waiting so long to have you.”

Without the pressure of moving, you lay on him despite the humidity. Petting the underside of his wings as they drape so gracefully against the blankets and the rug.

“Yoongi?”

“Yes?”

“I need to go home tomorrow.”

His heart sinks, “Oh?”

“To see my family. To come home and let them know I’m okay.”

“Yes, of course.” He’s afraid that you won’t come back, though.

“And… to turn down Taehyung’s proposal in person.”

Yoongi looks down and can’t see your face but he’s imagined it’s worried. “Y-Yeah?”

“Yeah. And Yoongi?”

He waits. You speak again, “Do you really want to be with me? For me to stay?”

“More than anything.”

He feels the tug of your cheeks on his chest; a wide smile.

“Then I’ll need to get my stuff.” And that makes him want to cry. After traumatic betrayal and years of loathing his punishment of isolation, he’s finally being let out of his cage. Free to be with someone that cares for him as much as he cares for you.

Your last thoughts remain on the fire and how it’s the only other entity to to swallow your talks, plans and confessions. Of his feathers like his arms as they fold in comfortably next to you, feeling like they’re meant to be there. Like you really were fated to be skin-to-skin with this man in his manor. Entwined by trust and love and an unprecedented future that would be everything as long as he’s in it. An irony of a useless girl and flightless wings.

Yoongi watches you fall under, wiping his thumb over your lips, trailing it down your chin and covering your naked body with his wing. Slumber finds him soon after, mind stuck on his self-epiphany that he had to lose his wings to gain you, and how incredibly lucky he is to have it that way.

a/n: ahAhaA, i’m sorry. please feel free to let me know what you think.

❋ masterlist ❋

[musical-chick-13]

And Theon bc I love him

WHAT A COINCIDENCE I LOVE HIM TOO (this answer is gonna be a combination of books and show)

Send me a character and I’ll tell you the following:

• Did they live up to their potential? / In what ways was their potential unachieved?

-I would say yes. The only negative I have about his general arc is his death (which, see below). But Theon from the very beginning was, though not a particularly nice person, still relatable. Feeling othered, wanting to be accepted by an immediate environment that doesn’t accept you, isolated from and ostracized by your family, and the tension that comes between serving the different types of familial relationships in your life. Theon has no idea who he is, tossed aside by his blood family for not growing up with them and being “soft,” aka sort-of moral and having emotions that aren’t selfish rage or smugness (which, yep, that second part is a mood, see: my entire childhood and how no one wanted to be around an “emotional” “soft” child). And from there, he spirals out of control in a way that, while certainly not admirable by any stretch of the imagination, is still understandable in the context of the narrative and his characterization. And from there, after going through hell and quite literally losing himself (even to the point of straight-up denying rescue), he builds himself back up gradually, to the point where he expressed extreme regret for what he’s done, helps an innocent woman escape a truly horrifying situation, acknowledges that his family is generally garbage, and (in-show b/c again books aren’t finished), helping to restore his sister to power, rescuing her after his PTSD relapses while confronting Euron, and ultimately opting to protect the Starks come hell or high water in order to genuinely atone for what he’s done. He is no longer conflicted because he wants to do the right thing, and that right thing is defending the kingdom from the White Walkers and making sure Sansa and Bran are safe. And it’s no longer about fulfilling a duty or finding a family to fill the void. Because now he has found himself. I will contend that Theon has one of the best, most nuanced, most organic redemption arcs of all time. I will forever be grateful that I got to see that piece of storytelling unfold.

Although, I would love to know what he thought of Dany. A missed opportunity, that.

• How they negatively and positively affected the story.

-Positive: His arc of identity and finding where your loyalties lie ties into the overall theme of “How do you find yourself in a world where goodness, authenticity, and honesty are often punished and increasingly rare?” And it proves that governmental politics aren’t the only defining factors in decisions: familial politics can be just as difficult and dangerous, which adds yet another rich, complicated layer to the overall story. He has a genuine, honest-to-Drowned-God redemption arc, which is...not really present anywhere else in the story (no, Jaime is not on a Redemption Quest, I will die on this hill). But I think the biggest draw of Theon’s presence is that it deconstructs the whole “Character Revenge Fantasy” idea. He does bad things. We want him to be punished. But not like that. No one deserves that. How far is too far? What does retribution really look like? Given how easily that idea can be abused and go off the rails, is retribution even something to strive for? What is the point of using extreme violence/torture/mutilation/breaking someone’s psyche when it doesn’t really accomplish anything? Isn’t atonement and genuine justice a better option? It certainly was for Theon. He could only piece himself back together and do anything meaningful once he was out of his abusive environment. All of these are imporant questions that are posed by his existence in the narrative.

-Negative: Idk if I have much to say here. My biggest problem is his death (see below), but that’s not really a negative story effect so much as...being disappointing and narratively irrelevant. I gotta say, his introduction via his sister was...really weird. I genuinely have no idea why GRRM wrote that. It never came up again or had any kind of narrative ramifications and kind of cast a strange, uncomfortable light on his relationship with Asha/Yara for the remainder of the story. I can ignore and enjoy their later relationship it if I don’t think about it too hard, though, so I guess I’ll chalk it up to GRRM having a Bad Idea.

• What my favorite arc for them is.

-All of it?? Theon’s journey is kind of...one big arc, which is why I think it works so well. He has this overarching redemption plot which spans the entire series and informs every decision he makes (for good or for bad, depending on where in the aforementioned journey he is). The redemption arc isn’t bogged down with side plots or other pieces of narrative clutter, meaning it has time to grow and, thus, be gradual and realistic. If I had to choose a specific point, it’s probably when he tries to reintegrate back into society via supporting Yara. Gaining the Iron Islands’ support for her ruling, spiriting away with Euron’s fleet, and ultimately rescuing his sister after her capture. He can’t just go back into society. He’s scared. He has really bad PTSD. But he recognizes that putting his home in good hands is something bigger than just him because it’s Yara’s home, too. I just...I really love family relationships, y’all.

• What I think of their ending.

-I’m not really sure how I feel about this one. I get that the series is GrimDark™ and that people who make the right choice and fight for good die all the time, but Theon dying just felt...wrong. To me.

And, like...I get it. It makes sense to parallel his original descent into villainy (cemented by executing those two boys and pretending they were Bran and Rickon) with him dying to protect Bran himself. It ties into the whole very common trope of completing a full redemption arc by committing a completely selfless act at great personal cost. It’s kind of like the whole Missy thing in Doctor Who (which...hoo boy, that post is coming, make no mistake), where selfishness is directly opposed by making the ultimate sacrifice with no motivation for personal gain. And the fact that the last words he ever heard were “You’re a good man?” I cannot even begin to describe how much that makes me sob. But...honestly, I’m really tired of this idea that redemption has to end in death in order to be achieved or “complete.” I think it’s much more poignant to have a redeemed character live to help build a better world. Because what’s the point of telling people to be better if the “reward” is death? No one’s going to want to reform themselves if they think that’ll be the result.

I think the thing that Bugs Me™ the most is that Theon never really got to have a moment of peace when he was alive. Sansa gained the North’s love and at least had a secure childhood. Ned and Cat were happily married for years. Arya had parents who loved her and a good relationship with Jon. Jon fell in love with Ygritte and found his Night Watch Bros, and Robb (in show verse) had some very happy moments with Talisa. Davos put great stock in what he considered fulfilling friendships with Stannis and Shireen; Brienne was treated respectfully by Renly, Catelyn, and Sansa; Missandei and Grey Worm had each other and their friendship with Dany, who herself had many personal successes in her quest for the Iron Throne and saw the death of her abusive brother. Cersei even had moments with Jaime (who himself had several notable military victories and at least some time with Myrcella, as well as being gladly and deeply in love, however dysfunctional that love was), times when she successfully fought off enemies (including her dad), and some sweet moments with Tommen, as well as a huge victory via blown-up sept at the end of season 6. Theon was treated as a second-class family member by the Starks his whole life by being “traded” to them as a condition of war resolution AS A BABY, is immediately disparaged and mistreated by his immediate family when he tries to return to them, makes terrible decisions that almost cost him his conscience completely, is brutally tortured by Ramsay, is on the run with his sister from Euron almost immediately after, and has a PTSD attack that ultimatly results in him having to launch a rescue mission. And then he fights ice zombies. And then he dies. He never really...got to be happy at all? There was never any kind of “win” for him. Not even survival. The narrative couldn’t even give him that.

TLDR: Theon’s death seemed less shock-value-y than others (like, for example, Shireen or Missandei or, heck, Melisandre even), and it isn’t the worst thing I’ve ever seen. It’s narratively-informed and it makes sense as an emotional through-line, but, ultimately, Redemption Cemented By Selfless Death is a tired trope, and I honestly thought this story (which...you know...serves as a deconstruction of common fantasy tropes/book tropes in general) was better than that.

• When I wish they had died. / If I think they should’ve died.

-So here’s where we get personal™ kids.

So, it’s no secret that I am...severely mentally ill. I’ve talked about expression/presentation of mental illness in regard to Cersei a lot on this blog, and how that (as paradoxical as it may seem) helped bring a sense of comfort and emotional resonance to me. Theon, post-Ramsay, has, I think, a very clear case of PTSD. Theon is one of the few characters I’ve seen where his mental illness isn’t the cause of the bad, violent, dangerous choices he makes. It only takes root after he has made the decision and conscious effort to better himself, and it, rather than demonizing him, serve to humanize him. His trauma didn’t define him. And although a PTSD attack led to him unintentionally losing Yara to Euron’s capture, he makes every effort to rescue her, a goal he does end up achieving. It is so rare I get to see a character who goes through these things, successfully fight them and come out with positive qualities at the end. Like...switching topics a bit here, Jaime going back to King’s Landing to (try to) escape and ultimately die with Cersei made sense to me because, as Jaime says, he is a hateful man. He never made much of an honest effort to be anything else. And he never truly wanted to be good; he just wanted to be liked. He wanted to adopt some personality that would make him feel less disconnected from the rest of the world. But Theon...genuinely feels remorse for everything he’s done. He makes a concerted effort to do everything in his power to improve the lives of people he believes are good and deserve to be safe. So, just...killing him off in a Completely Selfless Sacrifice (like...you know how a lot of mentally ill people put themselves through suffering-like OCD rituals, bottling feelings, self-harm, even suicide-in a misplaced attempt to “help” or “protect other people”) seemed antithetical to everything we saw of his arc.

Ultimately, with such a humanizing, empathetic portrayal of trauma and mental health struggles, seeing Theon be killed off just...pissed me off. I am so tired of seeing mentally ill characters die. I really want to believe that I can live through and thrive in spite of the things that afflict me, and I get example after example of characters not being allowed to do that. It feels awful, quite frankly. And it makes hope that much harder. 

I also just feel like...there was nothing the story gained from his death? I get the thematic parallels as mentioned earlier, but it didn’t really move the story forward in any significant way. It didn’t motivate other characters to do anything, it had no political ramifications, it didn’t serve to contribute to any kind of happy ending or commentary on society, it just...was sad. Again, I thought this story was better than that.

[throwaninkpot]

RotT reactions part 2!

costis, what are you doing here, shouldn't you be in roa? shouldn't you be with kamet? costis, where's kamet? what happened to him? tell me!

"who really owns anything?" eugenides, you utter meme.

if tattoos a custom in eddis, does. .....does helen have tattoos? oh my word, please tell me helen has tattoos, she would look so cool.

so, so, so, horrible invasion, giant army, logistics of war. it's very terrible and interesting, but where kamet? where my boy? is he okay? costis just LEFT him behind, bc he had to get word back to attolia, I don't blame him, I love him. but is kamet okay????????????????????

rip to all the cottage fic people probably wrote about the two having a chill time in roa. (idk, I haven't checked.) megan said we can't have nice things.

"find yourselves another king" uhhhhhhh, gen?

gen said no more king, now only Thief and Hot Consort To The Sexy Queen.

awww, sophos gave him a book of poetry for his birthday. I love sophos.

"attolia says she leaves with you" *spends several long minutes clutching at my chest repeatedly as I am Overwhelmed*

you know the quote in koa about a careful dance of shafow and unsubstance but under it all, a real marriage of two people? that's literally this. the queen is surely calculated her possible responses to gen, amd this is either a Pointed Message to gen or to the barons, and I'm still not sure what gen is up to actually, but also. she loves him, guys. they're in love. "she leaves with you". they're in love.

"I asked her to leave with me on our wedding night" of course he did.

"except me, I can do anything I want" :'D

they're too soft. I cannot.

go, costis! save your boy!

..........is this where I formally apologize for rolling my eyes back in 2016 when people shipped teleus/relius? I genuinely did not see this coming.

megan said okay, we've been on our best behavior, it's been 25 years, she will sprinkle in a little canon queerness. and then upended a flour sack of it on us.

"he had to bend to keep his lips on hers until she reached the ground" they're too cute, this is illegal.

oh, now THAT'S some soap opera level nonsense. how awkward was it for gen and helen knowing his father was a spurned lover of her mother

sometimes soldiers. I am eating this stuff up.

they get no apology. h*ck the pents. maybe they should have chosen an ambassador that didn't force himself upon women.

"where sounis's father positively beamed with approval at his son, eddis's minister of war glowered. the high king, slumped in his seat, catching his father's glare, slumped even further." it be like that.

ten to one. oof, oof, oof.

okay, the solution is, one of gen's sisters should beat up cleon and therespides.

gen. you were the one paying him. I don't know why I'm ever surprised by the tangled schemes you wrap yourself up in.

every scene that the four monarchs are together, just having a good time and loving each other and sounding so much like the young people they are, every time, it makes me happy.

the fandom tried to figure out at what age boys left the dorms in Eddis, didn't we? I think we settled on 12 or 13. gen killed someone before he was 13. hachi machi.

he called him "my brother sounis". awww.

"without cheating" is that what we're calling godly visits now

eugenides will give me a heart attack, I swear.

they call it return of the thief bc this is the most like himself gen has acted since the crenellations in KoA.

(fitting that this is the book with a neuroduvergent pov, bc I have never happy stimmed more in my life than during the chase scene.)

when he starts windmilling, now I am afraid. oh please, megan, don't let him be hurt.

thank the gods.

helen wearing an eddisian uniform. heck yeah! gnc helen rights continue!

"it was the last lighthearted moment for a long time" :(

they're leaving the city, and I'm suddenly remember the comment from back in book of pheris 1 about an attack by a tomb. am afraid.

it's loving the magus o' clock. he treats pheris so well.

irenides baby......2!!!!

"I don't understand" you and me both, sophos.

"I think they have to show their worst selves sometimes in order to be sure that even at their worst they are loved" I need a minute.

I love tactics and logistics, but I wish I could picture this my head. the map doesn't actually help me figure out where the forces are in perspective.

megan really wasn't exaggerating when she said eugenides's first reaction to seeing an elephant is "I want to steal one."

"he muscled up his other arm and said he would destroy the Medes single-handed" these books are giving me a stroke. megan, that pun was beautiful.

"I have found Kamet!" I'm going to be sick. he had better be okay. he was supposed to be free of nahuseresh.

nasty man had better be lying. my kamet had better be okay.

oh, costis. okay, okay, alright.

why is cleon's death so sombering. I think it's bc I just reread "Thief!", and met him as a teenager in that. I think it's bc it says he's one of three cousins that died that day, and gen already lost so many cousins during the war in QoA. I loved the country of eddis when I was first reading these books and forever after that, bc it's so full. there's a very communal child-rearing system and gen has these packs of cousins, even if most of them spent their childhood bullying him, I loved the idea of having so much family around you. he's running out of family.

oh. I went back to reading from writing that, and. stenides. oh.

I said I wanted gen's siblings, but not like this.

well, here's some cairns. presumably the tombs pheris's foreshadowed earlier. here we go, something bad is going to happen.

Something Bad Happened.

oh, no, Hilarion. D:

*tiffany haddish voice* NOMENUS??? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS. I PUT YOU ON MY BINGO.

the man at the cairn. the god on the battlefield that megan referenced? but eugenides called him a dead man. so not a god. so, did he recognize him as someone he knew to be dead?

"my cousins know not to trust my tears" once again, gen's hail mary is the fact he's a little snipe.

he says he needs a heavier rain, and the gods deliver.

f in chat for nomenus. he was a snake, but still.

"and by my oath to my god, now and for my life, Thief of Eddis." YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, Philo. :(

rip to Legarus and his Awesome Beauty.

they want to kill gen in The Thief? eddis's council wanted to kill him? I'm reeling from all the backstory this book is revealing.

not quite how I had the apotheosis pictured, and yet. *sufjan steven's ascension plays in the background*

"I say it three times, Fordad. It will be so. It will be so. It will be so." holy heck.

someone get in here and analyze that for biblical symbolism.

HE CALLED DOWN LIGHTNING. HOLY

narration only calls him eugenides in that scene with the lightning. significant.

"feeling the tremor in it, he opened his arms to catch the king as he fell." he has fallen and been caught by his god and fallen and been caught by his dad.

I think we'll call the interregnum an interlude into the underworld, if not a journey into.

oh, gods, relius.

for a former spymaster, he sure trusted too easily.

he could have had his farm in the gede valley, but he stayed to help irene and gen. oh, relius, relius.

sejanus has a saving grace afterall.

dite and sejanus protecting each other, and pretending to hate each other so that sejanus at least can be on good terms with their father, that all clicks into place when you know about their older brother who they probably loved just as much.

crying crying crying over Sejanus and Pheris.

the minster of war. D:

at least nahuseresh is dead.

gen lay down to sleep by his father's corpse.

the patrimony divided in three. a triangle.

sophos/helen baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love that gen, knowing his cousin and also being a little sneak who notices everything, figured out helen was pregnant before sophos even did.

f for sejanus. he wasn't as bad as he seemed, and not nearly as bad as he almost was.

oh, xenophon died, too. he of the wooden cannons and receiver of the infamous "I love stupid plans" line.

why is everyone dead. :(

"they're at the pickets, both of them" oh, thank you, jesus. TWO PEOPLE WHO AREN'T DEAD. MY BOYS.

she dreams of Eddis empty. there's no words for the relief I feel.

twinssss!!

and yet they don't tell us the name!!!!! what was the MoW's name??? what is their son's name??? megan!!!!!!

gen holding his daughter for the first time and offering to pitch her off a roof. I don't even have words.

hector. hector. hector hector hector.

rooftop dance!!!!!!!!!!!

HE'S OKAY. RELIUS IS OKAY.

(you couldn't give us one costis and kamet dance? no, it's fine.)

peace. peace. peace.

crying.

[xxconclusione-aperioxx]

Okay so I'd like to share what I commented on this video. I watched it and it sent me into a whole rant about the motives and characterization of Draco. I recommend watching before reading this:

@quinncurio is the original poster

Here's the copy paste of my comment/ Essay. I was slight heated when I wrote this, but my points still stand.

"OH BOY. HI, HELLO I VERY MUCH DISAGREE. ALSO: DISCLAIMER: DONT TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY, YOU WILL FIND I HAVE A VERY LOGICAL EXPLANATION, FOR WHY THIS ANALYSIS DOESN'T WORK.

Calling a Draco a cowardly bigoted bully, and a carbon copy of Dudley is the most SHALLOW and LOW EFFORT CONCLUSION YOU COULD POSSIBLY DRAW. IT IS LOW HANGING FRUIT. I'm going to have to break this into sections to truly explain why your conclusion is soooo incredibly shallow. You may have done your research, but I feel like you learned nothing more about Draco then if you'd never seen more then 5 min. So I'm going to start the same way you have and break this down into the same points.

PART 1 : AN ANALYSIS OF HARRY MEETING DRACO

I'm not going to go into detail of Harry's impression or ideas of Draco, because this analysis is about Draco, Not Harry. Also remember the books were written from Harry's POV, not a neutral party. I'm not obliged to Harry's opinions, just facts. Which brings up the first true conclusion about Draco's character. *Draco Malfoy feels a strong need to impress others, to gain their affection.* He does this through incisive bragging, trying to make people believe he knows best, and tearing down the reputation of others, so the object of his desires sees Draco and the most obvious choice. Where we differ is:

You believe Draco does this, because he thinks, he's better then others.

I believe,(which circumstantially has more evidence), Draco does this because he wants the affection, and acceptance of others

Whether you believe he acts out this way bc of how he is raised, his privilege, or something else, it doesn't change the fact that Draco was truly trying to make a friend, perhaps the only way he knew how.

In noble wizarding society, traditions, and your family does mean a lot. Not even looking at it from a pureblood view, imagine having a family that old and known. They really are a type of nobility, with family Lords even having political seats in the Wizengamote just because of their family name. The Longbottoms and Weaselys hold this same political influence, and it's not tied to Slytherins, pureblood ideals or anything like that. Draco is an only child, and an heir to his family line, so he is going to be treated importantly bc of that. He is raised with that responsibility, and in social situations not only represents himself, but the whole heritage of his family. Draco hasn't had the ability to act like a normal petulant child (part of the reason he tends to act out at Hogwarts.*ie. away from home*). He's been taught to act proper, make good allies, and impress others for the good of his reputation. I'd say most noble wizarding children probably get the same training and lectures, and have their own customs and culture of educate. What may come for Draco as polite, and diplomatic, may sound rude or arrogant to Harry. This is because Draco was not aware how different Harry's upbringing was from his own, and has never dealt with not having enough. Perhaps if Draco knew how different and ignorant Harry was he would have felt pity, or a sense of wrongness at Harry's injustice. Though Draco is just an 11yr old boy, who's only ever had a loving family, and almost anything he wanted. It is difficult for him to relate to the lack of others. As all wizarding children, he probably grew up with the story of the boy who lived and may have even been excited when his father said he wanted them to become friends. He truely was excited to meet Harry and genuinely wanted to be friends. While yes Lucius definitely wanted Draco to befriend Harry to help lighten their family reputation, I also think that Draco, being a child, would more likely be more excited of making a famous friend. Maybe he even had some hope seeing he'd met Harry before when he saw him on the train.

Part 2 : THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN DRACO AND DUDLEY

Draco's sense of superiority comes from his traditions and pride in his family, while Dudley's is strictly from his own greed and selfishness. Draco would't do half of the things Dudley does simply because it's incredibly unclothe, and he has better ways of getting what he wants. Dudley isn't smart enough to compare to Draco. Though Draco and Dudley might both have things handed to them, Draco is not gluttonous or greedy about it. Dudley will trash his gifts and belongings, constantly wanting more, and viewing things given to him as disposable. Draco wants things yes (like every child does) but he's proud of his possessions and cherishes them, brags about them. Dudley is an animal compared to Draco. He doesn't have the same skill, smarts or self control. Dudley is abusive, and a tyrant in his bullying. Dudley wants to see Harry hurt and bleed. He is very violent compared to Draco. While we constantly and repeatedly see Draco shy away from violence, and use more his words.

Part 3 : DRACO'S "HARASSMENT", STRATEGIES AND EVOLUTION.

Draco despite his threats and facade is Not a violent person. This is because despite all Draco's bravo, and cruel words, Draco is kind. Yes he is conflicted, but that is only more proof of his inner kindness. If he didn't feel guilty, he wouldn't feel conflicted. Which means he really doesn't want to be mean to others, but he's just acting out based on how he thinks he's supposed to feel/act, but doesn't really enjoy it. I think when you strip Draco back behind his actions, and pose, you'll find a very different person. The half-blood prince gave us some of that, but it's another thing to see it in Draco from the beginning. Essentially Draco's attempt at bullying started when Harry rejected his friendship. Draco had probably never been rejected before, and probably couldn't possibly fathom why Harry would choose anyone else over him. While yes that's a bit coincided, Draco was also incredibly sheltered and probably wasn't introduced to children who weren't already tied to his family. Harry's rejection irrevocably shattered Draco's confidence and perception, which sent him into literal years of lashing out at Harry for his hurt emotions, and pining for his attention. It is the most pathetic excuse for bullying, and Draco antagonizing Harry is the equivalent of pulling a girl's pigtails. Draco did get quite shrewd with words, but he was really just trying to get the biggest reaction, especially since Harry is so volatile at times. The truth of the matter is Draco is actually very jealous, because deep down he really admires Harry. He want's the same freedom Harry has. He doesn't want to worry about his duty or who he has to be, but to be able to live authentically the way he views that Harry does. Draco really just wants to be more like Harry, but feels he is stuck, by the Dark Lord, his family obligations or anything else. Draco isn't a bully, he's just sad. Not even Ron or Hermione take him seriously after a while. *cough*this is why Drarry is so huge*

Part 4 : He had no choice?????

Everyone has a choice, but I think you over estimate how easy a choice can be. Family is important to Draco, they are probably the only people who love him for who he is, not what they can get out of him. As a child Draco felt pride in his family, and family made him feel special and important. As he got older that pride turn into expectations, and responsibility. Lucius and Narcissa value the preservation of their family above all else. They are protective and loving and those feeling extended to Draco. It's where he gets his kindness. It is indeed a Slytherin trait to value those you care about above everyone else. We protect our own, a loyalty probably stronger then Hufflepuff for those select few a Slytherin deeply cares about. Draco's parent would let the whole world burn to save him, and Draco would do the same for them. While Draco's family did hold pureblood ideals, after the first war Voldemort was not someone they willing wanted to follow. The light sided also would have never offered aid to death eaters, because fundamentally they were still against the dark, and there was no other place for dark wizards to go except Voldemort. Most of the death eaters had actually been somewhat relived at the news of Voldemort's death, and the boy who lived, as Voldemort had already become insane to the point of torturing his own followers, and wasn't getting them anywhere near their goals. Except for the also insane brainwashed few like Bella who'd follow her lord to the grave, many of the death eater's were content to be peaceful and stay quite after the war. Probably even grateful for it, as there were many needless casualties on both sides. I feel like the Malfoys were one of those families that were happy to get out. If the side they are on is harmful or losing, they are ready to abandon ship. This may sound like they are cowardly with no resolve, but if it was the life and death of your family, and your loved ones, I think you might think differently. I feel like we aren't too far off in agreement here, but where we differ is in judgement and motives we feel the Malfoys, or Draco had. Lucius made a mistake in the first war, and spent the second trying to keep his family out of danger. I can't imagine the fear he had in Azkaban for his family, the dementors feeding off him and what he thought the Dark Lord would do to his only son, his wife, his family. Meanwhile Draco was left with the threat of his father rotting in Azkaban, and his mother being killed. His mother also with the thought of her son being killed. So yes Draco could have made a choice, and he did make a choice, a choice to protect his family, and honestly I can't see that as wrong. Maybe if Harry would have actually taken his offer of friendship things could have gone differently and it wouldn't have come to that.

Part 5 : Abuse Theory

I definitely agree with you here. The Malfoys were not abusive, and get a better anthology for racism then something which in fact could be solved with a study on culture rather then blood. If you want a good parallel for racism in HP forget muggleborns, and look at creature blood, not dumb house elfs either, but werewolves, goblins, centaurs beings just as intelligent as wizards. The bigotry towards werewolves especially is horrific, especially from the "light side" who avidly labels them as dangerous dark creatures. *Also note about the scene in Borgen and Berks* Lucius stopped Draco from touching the artifact because it was probably cursed, as many dark artifacts are. Even if you know what you're doing they can be dangerous to handle carelessly. So Lucius was actually very wise and protecting Draco, his 12 yr old son, from getting badly hurt. Why the cane? If touching a cursed object curses you, then its better not to get close with your actual hands. Using his cane to push Draco away was actually a precaution. Lucius is anything but careless,

Part 6: Draco's Wand and Symbolism

I generally agree here too, but I believe this symbolism is more reflective of the things Draco wishes he could have had, or done differently. If anything the wand and symbolism Draco has is representative of the good in him, and not cowardice, or inability to do enough.

Part 7: Redemption

Tbh I'm part of the crowd that would have liked that deleted scene to stay in the final cut. However I understand what's justifiable for one person, may not be enough for someone else. This is where you get more into the topic of morality, and how much are you morally responsible for as a person. Harry has been drilled with the mindset for years that he has to save everyone, and that if your not in it for the greater good, ready to lay down your life you better forget being in it at all. Personally I don't believe Harry has any right to claim that rhetoric, as Dumbledore(and by association Grindlewald) practically spoon fed it down his throat; but I wont talk about that as it's a whole other issue. Draco, you have to understand has a whole type of different morality. Objectively I believe he's a good person, if not pressured by the echo chamber of ideals around him. Yet Draco repeatedly gives signs, and expresses the desire to want to do good. In order to properly analyze Draco you have to look past his outward facade, and actions, or you'll never see him as anything more then he pretends to be. If you can only read plain text, if you can't see past the obvious, you will always have a very flat one dimensional view of a character or a person. To me there's no redemption needed. Draco is already good, more good then his parents, and perhaps more good then some who claim goodness.

In summary Draco is a very complex person, who tries to over compensate for his flaws, struggles to express honesty, but deeply cares for others, especially his family. His duality lies in how he wants to be good to others, yet how in the end he always chooses to save the ones he loves, over the majority. Draco will always have his flaws, but he will always have his goodness too, and I hope you won't disregard that.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

P.S

Kudos to anyone who read through all that.

[glasyasbutch]

playlist: craving & manic

link to playlist (on spotify)

1. Oh Girl You’re the Devil by MIKA

And I said follow me, whoever you want to be / Don’t care where you go as long you stay with me

MIKA kin song!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The individual persona verses fit Craving (”girl with a bag full of hearts and the devil’s eyes”) much better than Manic but the general VIBES are just ... magnifique. It’s a song about people sticking together because the world hates them. Also like, devil themes ... tieflings ..... you get it.

I also just rly like the closing lines being “She’s a bad, bad girl, a very bad girl, he’s a bad, bad boy, a very bad boy” cause yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2. Deal With It by GIRLI

We walk in, you stare at us, we find it hilarious / We came here to tear it up, we’re here to tear it up / Lights on, we roll up, makeup and undercuts / Lap it up, we’re pretty sure you can’t deal with it

Bro they went so fucking hard in their time as criminals like. So Hard. Especially a fan of the lines “back of a police car, free ride to the next bar” bc they really didn’t take law enforcement seriously like. At All. and the opening line of the selected lyrics above because two super fucked up and hot tieflings Definitely were eye catchers anywhere they went and they took a sick kind of pride in knowing that everyone was put off by them.

This song was originally on Craving’s personal playlist, but I moved it here bc it was much more of a pairs vibe.

3. Trouble by Valerie Broussard

I’m that knife in your boot, girl I got ya / I’m your number two man in the fight / We are revolutionaries tonight 

The only reason either of them made it a day out of their hometown was because they had each other, and they are So much more dangerous as a pair. 

4. Outlaws by Delta Rae

Don’t you know that we’re outlaws, giving the finger to death itself / We got no one to hide from, we got no one to toast our health

So this is on here partly just because I like Delta Rae. It’s technically a love song but it’s not explicit enough to turn me off from excluding it, because its much more about not giving a shit because you have the only thing you care about anymore walking by your side, and as long as they’re with you, you feel invincible, which is DEFINITELY how manic and craving walk through the world.

5. Bulletproof Heart by My Chemical Romance

Hold onto your heart in darkness / Will it ever be the light to shine you out or will it fail and leave you stranded? / I’m not going to be the one left standing / You aren’t going to be the one left standing / We aren’t going to be the ones left standing / Gravity don’t mean too much to me / Is this our destiny? This world is after me, after you / Run away, like it was yesterday

I always wanted an MCR song on here bc siccy niccy likes mcr and I felt like they deserved one on a playlist involving their character, but until recently I didn’t really listen to the band and didn’t trust myself to pick the song of theirs with the best vibes. But don’t worry! I’m having my MCR phase now so the updated playlist has one!!!! 

Anyways bulletproof heart makes me go fucking bonkers and the lyrics speak for themselves why it belongs on this playlist. It doubles for pre-campaign “we are just shitheads and society hates us and its fun cause we hate it too” and “we are literally going to throw overthrow strahd and probably die but like fuck it what else can we do” vibes

6. Skyway Avenue by We The Kings

‘Cause if you jump, I will jump too / We will fall together from your building’s ledge / Never looking back at what we’ve done / We’ll say it was love

Nic sent me and morgan a text one day and was like “if craving dies in strahd i genuinely think manic is just gonna walk into the woods and let a dire wolf get him” and then i added this song :)

7. Hey Brother by Avicii

Hey brother, do you still believe in one another? / Hey sister, do you still believe in love, I wonder? / Oh, if the sky comes falling down / For you, there’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t do

A part of me will always here this song and think of the Taaco twins, but hey, we can give it to other sibling pairs who have lived through near unimaginable strife and come out the other end bitterly clinging to each other for dear life. 

Fun fact! This song is also on Nissy & Leth’s playlist. I make so many siblings.

8. I’ll Keep You Safe by Sleeing at Last

Don’t be afraid / God knows these mistakes will be made / But I promise I’ll keep you safe / As you build up your collection of pearls you pulled from the deep / The most beautiful landscape I’ve ever scene

Unconditional love between people who so desperately need to be told that they deserve any kind of love at all. Also bonus for one of the verses being about clocks because :3 sirris :3

9. We’re Alive by Cavetown

Actually you know what? The way things are isn’t good enough / We’re alive and we’re here / Please listen ‘cause we’re scared / We’re alive and we’re here / We will scream til you hear

I like to think this is the song for the exact moment they woke up and coughed the ashes of their home out of their lungs and decided that they’d been left alive to make their existence a hell for everyone else who thought they didn’t deserve to have one.

10. Eating Like Kings by Shawn James

I’ve let the sun set 365 times with murder running deep in my heart / And if I didn’t directly pull the trigger, I sure as hell played my own part / You know that it’s a snake eat snake world, we slither and serpentine through / Cause we all took a bite and six thousand years later, this apples getting harder to chew 

Houghghgughhggh this song sexy ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I think its a song for the regrets that are beginning to creep up in the very back of their minds (especially Manic, fuckin good-aligned morninglord paladin lookin ass). 

11. Hell, Yeah by Nothing but Thieves

In a town upon the outskirts, with a flaw it cannot hide / I made my peace with sorrow and kept it all inside / They call it “hell”, yeah, why don’t we go there? / It’s way down below there, it’s just like home

Hell imagery, hopelessness themes, we are vibing.

12. A Demon’s Fate by Within Temptation

Angels have faith, I don’t want to be a part of his sin, I don’t want to get lost in his world, I’m not playing this game / When the shadows remain in the light of day / On a wing of darkness he’ll retaliate / He’ll be falling from grace ‘til the end of all his days

A song for good people turned to hate over the death of everyone they loved, a song for a brother devoted to a god of good and his sister devoted to an archdevil. Listen to this song with the volume up as high as you can stand it.

13. Years of War by Porter Robinson

Oh, two hundred years of war / Fight til we are no more / A curse on the streets of gold / Just know mine is a hand to hold / Take back what the kingdom stole / A curse on the streets of gold  

unlucky 13 songs for an unlucky pair, the lyrics speak for themselves man. It’s about standing by someone as they rip back everything that was taken from them

Fun fact: i wrote a songfic to this about Caleb and Beau Critical Role

Fun fact 2: I love this song so much it makes me go literally insane

[derangedhyena-zoids]

You know what there doesn't seem to be a preponderance of on Zi?

Kids.

fair warning: this is a goddamn mess of a horseshitpost about history, population and reproduction dynamics, and chucklefucking about character genetics that I have unfortunately have actually spent time thinking about because my brain literally doesn't accept "idle" as a state. 

this probably gets a little weird and also contains mention of sensitive topic (tagged) so please be aware of that

Ok so

Compared to say, the society pictured in Fuzors (which doesn't comply with the xCentury-verse sufficiently and thus gets ignored by me), NC0 seems equally prosperous but a lot more resource-strained. Not "at that time" but simply as a way of life.

Nobody thinks of themselves as resource-poor, but nothing is terribly robust except in the largest cities (eg the modern day rebuilds of the old capitals, Guygalos and New (Helic) City.)

This isn't a secret. It's more or less been the case for the entirety of humans' colonization of the planet. That's why locale self-sufficiency is so important and why there's huge stretches of nothing everywhere. You simply cannot live wherever you want. The environment is fucking hostile and You Will Die.

So first off, let's be real: when you first colonize a planet and want to establish yourselves there, there's going to be rules/procedures in place regarding reproduction to make sure nobody ends up genetically representing too much of the population. It'd take a bit to get to the point of non-directed (and/or non test-tube) reproduction even being allowed.

Basically, space humans colonizing alien planets gonna have hella birth control tech available. There are no "oops" offspring. I'm inclined to think it's actually something that's been modified on a very base level (read: likely genetic modification, is heritable) level, that would require outside intervention of some kind (eg chemical) to make reproduction possible.

The point of "safe to naturally mingle" would likely correspond with the eventual, initial tech-dip as the stores of things from initial arrival were finally depleted (because it was probably planned out that way), and tech that was arrived with started to go offline permanently.

They'd have to be settling into what they could do and make with the resources available on Zi, meaning that avoiding uncontrolled population growth was still a huge priority, because the let's-successfully-establish-civilization mindset would still be thoroughly ingrained at that point.

There'd be hundreds of years of "danger zone" population levels where large adverse events could've easily wiped them all out if they weren't mindful. But, they were, and humans colonized Zi successfully (...again), good job, hooray

The overarching society-level birth control was well-codified in the various cultural groups that arose. But these inclinations did change over time as larger and more friction-prone groups formed (read: the Empire, over time, became large and in charge, discontent developed and huge chunks of people kept trying to detach. Eventually the Republic cropped up. You need more people to be a bigger thing.)

Any desire to handle the population with kid-gloves all but went out the window as the first conflicts started and people were killed. These conflicts eventually escalated into the long-standing wars between the Empire and Republic, and restrictions on reproduction basically went away. (+depending on who was in charge things may have even Yikes'd in the other direction)

(just a canon-fyi I'm not following the Battle Story in the slightest, I'm only trying to make the xCentury anime(s) function. Zoids' various canons are like Transformers' canons - A MESS)

Before these wars started happening, not much besides the occasional natural disaster, accident, or simply old age killed anyone. People can live a long time on Zi! Much longer than usual.

Why? Because a lot of human common human pathogens from Earth simply *wouldn't exist* there (space humans are gonna be really careful to not tote that shit around), so there's only really lifestyle-related issues, latent or new-mutation genetic problems, and any micro-organisms on Zi that mutated sufficiently to be able to affect people. (which is not really a stretch if we're going by the thought that Zoidians were long-evolved humans. The Zoidians were there a LOT longer than humans have been)

so. modern day. I have NC0 a few hundred years after CC/GF. As a whole I think the human race on Zi is relatively young, but a lot of the oldest information (like "exactly when we fucking got here") was lost in Imperial/Republican wars.

Those went on for hundreds of years themselves, enough to establish mass Zoid manufacture as The Way Of Things(tm) and otherwise entrench what became the norms for human society there. (I STRONGLY suspect there's still a lot of residual Imperial/Republican tension in places/families and that Backdraft was founded by, for lack of a better word, Imperial sympathizers with a longstanding grudge against a unified GF-run government *coughhh Alteil cough* but... I digress)

Humans are at a perfectly serviceable population. I actually hesitate to put a number on it because I don't know what # value would properly represent "a sustainable amount of people on a barren planet with very limited resources" but it'd be a sizable population (I'd guesstimate tens of millions). I imagine the GF, being the unquestionably-global governing body*, is relatively authoritarian as far as the core population and major cities go. They obviously can't tightly police the whole planet, but they can certainly keep an eye on it.    

This doesn't mean it's a dystopia or that the GF is evil or that it's anything bad, really. I sort of picture it being run by Committee, likely made up of various descendants of powerful families ([insert 10 tons of political intrigue here that I'm picturing, it's amazing, ANYWAYS]) Zi's government is definitively a plutocracy.

There were plenty of people on the planet who were ambivalent towards the Empire and the Republic's nonsense and just carried on what social norms and culture that had been established by the early colonists. Many didn't LIKE that all the fighting was happening because innocent, uninvolved people kept getting killed, and that sucked because they just wanted to live quiet lives in secure towns and be left alone.

There was also a desire for more law enforcement in general, since gangs, bandits, and the Zi equivalents of sovereign citizens kept causing problems. So when the Guardian Force was established initially to wrestle peace into place, it was largely welcomed and people were very, very glad to get rid of hundreds of years of war.

This also meant a lot of people had kids because things became markedly more stable. In fact what led up *to* New Century was probably several solid centuries of strong population growth, establishing additional stable strongholds in habitable areas (new cities were established and built up), modernization and other general signs of prosperity.

So, all this blah blah blah leads up to several key realities for New Century:

-There isn't a strangehold on population growth, nor are there formal limits. However, the chemical-whatever that causes the inbuilt birth-control to fuck off is under the purview of - or at least monitored by - the government. So... there's that. It's also overwhelmingly likely that people have figured out other sources for this over time, if for some reason they're distrustful.

-This inbuilt bc is in effect for everyone. Both folks involved have to be on board. I mean, it'd technically be possible to surreptitiously slip some of the chemical-whatever to an unwilling partner? But it's not like that would be difficult to figure out.

-Family units range from what we'd recognize as a 'family' to entire towns sharing children/parenting responsibilities. Monogamy is the norm but polygamy isn't weird. People can be pretty sexually loose and it's not frowned upon at all - because let's be real, NC0-society is at full-on bread-and-circus levels of operation. There seems to be a moderate anti-intellectual bent and Zoid battles are the height of achievement. People are chasing highs as a way of life.  

Topically relevant individuals' headcanon:

I think Steve's wife died in childbirth (having Leena.) It neatly explains what happened to her and Layon's unhealthy obsession with Leena.

Feel like Bit and Brad both were raised in the more "communal" type of settings.

Harry's family comes from old Republican money.  

Stoller came from a family that's the equivalent of a house in the south that has confederate flags everywhere. Except they're Imperial.

ARE YOU STILL HERE? GOOD LORD WHY. WELL NOW THIS IS A SHITPOST ABOUT ZOIDIAN HYBRIDS AND OTHER ANCESTRY FUCKERY

Remember in some other post I wrote I said that when you start to hybridize Zoidians in, reproduction becomes more difficult? That's IN PART because of the bc thing, and in part because general genetics fuckery. But once you *had* a hybrid you had very robust individuals, who initially lacked a fully functional version of the inbuilt bc. Over time that was mixed back in, but there were at least a couple janky generations.

Literally every hybridized line in existence is either from Hiltz or Ryss. Fiona didn't reproduce (wasn't for lack of trying. Both her and Van being bonded to the same Organoid caused problems in that department.)

Ryss had two kids with Raven. The reality of Raven aging and dying sucked. The reality of her kids, grandkids, etc aging and dying sucked. Though her immediate offspring lived a lot longer than progressive generations did, as the bloodline became more diluted, a slightly-improved human lifespan became the norm. This was incredibly depressing to Ryss and is a large part of why she fucked off to the middle of nowhere to live with things that wouldn't age out and die on her. It's also why she didn't continue to have children.

Hiltz... Hiltz fucked (and well, raped) a lot of people (50% as a power/hate thing and 50% because he's from the Feed-Fuck-Fight club) and some of the people that lived to talk about it had offspring. The same aging issues were in effect for these offspring, but unlike Ryss's family they didn't have the benefit of anyone explaining what the fuck was going on. So they had a strange time.

Remember that these direct hybrids would've been of age squarely in the aforementioned, post-GF "everyone is having kids" time, so a fair number of distinct new lines were created and persisted. There was also a weird range of ages involved, because the direct hybrids lived A WHILE and could have offspring for most of that time.

Now, in the context of "many years later", this means a fair number of people carry these genes in varying dilutions. It's not a large amount in the context of the entire human population. It's a handful of family lines with increasingly baffled histories. But family groups frittered a lot in the aftermath of GF, so a lot of that knowledge was functionally lost.

Basically no one has any idea anymore, what little idea that they had in the first place. The only families with distinct and traceable genealogies are the rich/old-money ones.      

So, in the NC0 cast I officially headcanon 5 folks as these dilute-hybrids. You know most of them; Sara, Vega, and Brad, but I'm impolitely adding Stoller and Iyaga (Ehga?) to that mix because reasons.

Brad and Iyaga are from Hiltz's line. Sara and Stoller are from Ryss's. Vega is unique in that he draws from BOTH; Ryss from his mother's side and Hiltz from his father's. Sara had a *really* hard time actually having a kid as a result of that particular genetic fuckery. IMO this explains some of her behavior towards Vega - by the time she had him she was so emotionally estranged by both the loss of Vega's father and the loss of numerous pregnancies (and by that time was more involved with her 'backdraft career'), she struggled with BASIC AFFECTION.

anyways, thanks for coming to the world's most useless ted talk  

*ZBGF is like world-police, GF is world-gov, ZBC is a branch of ZBGF that keeps battles in line (and monitors usage of things). The GF is "background", in that it's using the more-friendly-seeming ZBC as its eyes and ears while keeping track of things on a higher level.

p.s. the bc thing is actually adapted from another story of mine's background, so don't worry I didn't spend ALLLLLL this time thinking about that for this only sdhgfjdfdf

[ladyalice101]

Author Interview

thanks @orangeflavoryawp and @amymel86 <3 

Name: ladyalice101

Fandoms: GoT (specifically Jonsa) is my main one atm, but I’ve written for Timeless, the 100, Star Wars (the sequels), and on ff.net i wrote for percy jackson and suite life on deck (my first fandom 10 years ago lol) 

Where You Post: AO3, tumblr, and previously on ff.net. 

Most Popular One-Shot: ‘that last kiss, i'll cherish (until we meet again)’ by every conceivable measurement 

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: ‘victory is in my veins (oh ye of so little faith)’ also by every conceivable measurement 

Favorite Story You Wrote: um um um um, can i say every story? idk, i love every story, otherwise i wouldn’t spend so much time with them you know? 

but i loved the finished product of ‘your lips, my biggest weakness’ for Timeless. 

haha i just scrolled through my ao3, trying to pick one, and i was like “ooh that was good” “i love that one too” “oh man i loved THAT one too” 

Story You Were Nervous to Post: my first jonsa fic, ‘my love, you have found peace (i hope relief is yours)’. i’d already been posting fic for six or so years, and i’d been generally confident bc i was young and naive and writing fic was still fairly niche - or, at least, not so popular. but got was by far the biggest fandom i’d ever posted in, and at that point s7 had just aired or was still airing and so shipping was ... crazy. but nothing bad happened, and so i posted one more ... and the rest is history! 

How You Choose Your Titles: hahaha i have a notes doc on my phone that is literally just song lyrics that i hear and love and think would fit well with a fic, and so when i finished a fic i scroll the list and find one that i think fits with the theme of the fic (even if i end up being the only one who can see the tenuous relationship) 

Do You Outline: not for oneshots! well, usually. usually i see scenes that have only a vague connection to each other, which i write out and then have to figure out how to make into a solid story. so not really outlines, but kind of outlines, bc i don’t write in a linear way. 

and for multi-chaps i absolutely outline. i learnt that lesson when i was younger haha 

Complete: on ao3, 32. 

In Progress: on ao3, 2. in my wips folder on my desktop? like. 17 million haha 

Coming Soon/Not Yet Started: ok ok, i hesitate to  tease anything bc who knows what inspiration will strike when BUT here a couple from a notes doc that i really want to write: 

- canon divergent where robb lives but is imprisoned by the frey’s, and no one knows he’s alive. the story picks up directly at the end of s6, after jon has become king, and edmure tully tells jon and sansa that robb is alive. i really want to write this, but it’s going to be a MASSIVE undertaking, bc it will go through all the end of the series but with robb alive so there is just so much to plan. 

- canon divergent where jon and sansa get married between s6 and s7 after the parentage reveal to keep the peace in the north. again, a massive undertaking, bc it goes through 7-8 with an arranged marriage, so heaps of burgeoning feelings between jonsa but also more long night, more conflict with d.ny and cersei. 

- i’ve started writing a dark and possessive jonsa set in 8x01 but where they’ve been fucking for ages and sansa’s hella mad bc he bedded d.ny 

- i have a summary written for this one (but not a single line of fic) which pretty much sums it up: in which death makes jon confuse the present with the future and he keeps seeing sansa naked under his touch in winterfell, even though they’re still campaigning through the north 

- summary for this too, but with no fic: sansa never imagined her wedding day quite like this. wearing the white wedding dress, sure, but certainly not wearing it while sitting on a man’s face. and certainly not sitting on the face of a man who is not the man she just married

- a cracky post-canon in which the northern lords propose sansa marry her cousin, meaning robin arryn, but she thinks they mean jon. 

- post canon sansa finds jon north of the wall and can’t bring herself to back to winterfell and so stays with him 

- a baby driver au (ish?) with reluctant criminal jon and his saviour sansa 

feel free to tell me which you want to see first? 

Do You Accept Prompts: yes! i actually haven’t really done any for jonsa, but anyone is more than welcome to at any time. 

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: Honestly none? Like when inspiration strikes, it’s strikes, ya know

tagging: @zarahjoyce @asongforjonsa @sunbeamsandmoonrays @esther-dot @alienor-woods

[kaisooficrec]

aaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!! helloooo mods!!!!!!!!! SO! instead of a specific AU, I thought about an author shoutout! what are each mod's fave kaisoo authors? and maybe you could give us one of their underrated stories and/or your favorite that they wrote! Ps: you are all amazing and beautiful and I love you!

HELLOOOO~ this is a great idea annonie uwu. Here are our fav authors (both ever and at the moment) with our fav + underrated fics that we love from them.

I’m excited because this is my first time talking about my fav authors so here it goes~

timefortea

My favorites: Something I Gotta Say (Tom and Jerry) (enemies to lovers au clair de lune (wolf au, royalty au + topsoo, iconic) and Anti-Climax (just read it it’s real hot)

Underrated: What’s Good, Princess? (hs au, crack, please im still laughing), Who You Gonna Call? (ghost busters au, TRULY UNDERRATED GO READ IT)

w_anderingheart

My favorites: Amid Shadows (hitmen + mafia au, one of the first fics i read and still so good), there are no wrong mistakes (college au, puppy love nini and nerdy soo, so cute and amazing)

sooblushes

My favorites: run batted in (college + sports au, baldsoo will forever be legendary), deep tissue (i am drooling jongin is soo’s new massage therapist :-))

Underrated: pause, rewind (this baeksoo but its soooo good and sexy)

jongnugget

My favorites: Love Me Right (hs + sports au, if you haven’t read this yet… where have you been?), Kiss and Cry (figure skater au, one of the most beautiful fics i’ve ever read), and of course The Devil Wears Gucci (fashion au, the devil wears prada inspired and a masterpiece)

Underrated: Break a Leg (college au + drama club au, this is SO good i love it so much), Carpe Diem (salem witch trials inspired, so unique and so good Bite Me (vampire au, we are so blessed this exists)

verseau

My favorites: lately all i want is you on top of me (college au, ~discovering their sexuality~, this is already one of my fav fics ever), spreading inside of me (college professors au but like, really sexy and beautifully written)

Underrated: by my side (love this, see admin w’s commentary. go read it

at1stsoo

My favorites: Campaigning for Your Heart (college au + enemies to lovers, politics, but like it’s too good i’m in love ALSO THE SEQUEL), A Slice of Summer Love (college au, pizza delivery guy au, so cute and the pining i love love love), Lawyer Up (My Ass) (you were all expecting this one and here it is bc im still shook and amazed by this lawyer au), What the Nightingale Spies (spy au, legendary)

Underrated: Push the Pedal Down (hs au where bffs kaisoo escape the school to go on a small road trip Birthday Roulette (this so cute and funny i love it, go read it)

indigomini

My favorites: Pay Me Some Mind (pretty sure this is the first fic i read from her and i’m still in love! college au, fwb to lovers Dark Shadows (Are Woken Inside of Me) (oof wolf au and jong discovers he’s an alpha and soo is in heat and jong is obsessed), Puppy Love (bartender nini is hot asf and soo thinks so too) and finally! Yes, Alpha (wolf au again with soo being nini’s personal in-house chef, fucking love this fic i can’t get enough even after every update)

Underrated: Romantic In Theory (im crying i love this so much jongin is so cheesy and its like crack but the smut is good and they’re just goals)

I have to add parkourdeer because he was one of the first authors I loved and I still love his fics very much.

- Admin Macaroon

t_dragon - is on a roll, so many kaisoo fics and still counting!

SM Origins: Kai - x-men au. it’s slightly more jongin-centric but i personally love the bestfriends-to-love dynamic he has with kyungsoo here :’)

Perfection - hurt comfort but also fluff, jongin is training so hard to become the best dancer but he only hurts himself in the process and kyungsoo is having none of it

coppertears - one of the classic authors (been around since 2012/13 yet!!) and all their kd fics are perfect, I defo recommend reading them all! 

landfall - stripper!kai + office worker!soo fall in love with each other (the push and pull rls ufgh)  

maybe in hell, there is a heaven - umm this is not for the faint-hearted :’) it’s a war au with some graphic scenes, jongin is a prisoner, kyungsoo is one of the commanders, but he always is there to protect jongin much to jongin’s surprise

mercuryretrograte/brujadelmar - amazing amazing amazing, i hope they’ll write more

fav: begging you to keep on haunting me - hybrid au, bodyguard au. jongin is a famous dancer but he’s also a swan hybrid and one evening, he receives a death threat. feared for his life, he hires the best bodyguards also hybrids to protect him day in day out

underrated: Ursae Minoris - game of thrones inspo. i dont watch GoT but i’m sure this fics is only loosely inspired by it. and it’s bomb! jongin got married into a new family and he learns about their different culture (ongoing)

xingnini- angst is good but comedy is the real mvp!

underrated: Itaidōshin (Army of Two) - zombie au + comedy au aka when they try to escape the zombies and fight as one but they AREN’T IN SYNC AT ALL also farmboy!jongin bless and chanhun are so fUNNY

Jjeut Jjeut (Tsk, Tsk) - college/enemies to lovers nerd/straight A’s jongin pisses kyungsoo with his unnecessary questions in class so much he wants to fight him but jongin just made him accidentally agree to go on a date instead HAHA freshman jongin is sooo qt

tinylittlepaws - cute, will they write more? ;_;

Say Hi! - omegle!au and the whole shebang :D in which Jongin is bored and alone on a sunday night and decides to try something new with a Random Stranger on the internet.

Tonight is The Night - het is not many ppl’s fav, but this one is really nice OTL girl!nini is feeling brave one night with soo and makes him go down on her :))

ladyLiliah - they only have a few kaisoo fics but they slap!

Dunes - non au, smut, exo visits dubai again but this time with kyungsoo and jongin is ecstatic c:

Afloat - slice of life non au, smut, both train together and de-stress together yup

kaichocosoo - sooo many great kd fics idek what to rec first tbh! their spn au is gold!

Golden - vampire/werewolf au, kyungsoo is a vampire who has dated many times before but now baek convinces him to go this one with someone he thinks could be ‘the one’ for kyungsoo c: 

Hunt Me Not - jongin is determined to be a good vampire hunter but he’s very much into his mentor hunter prodigy kyungsoo (shy!jongin  hehe)

AbsoluteZXING - has a number of kaisoo fics and theyre qt :’)

Afterlight - first fic i read, this is celebrity au/ bestfriends au…the ending just reminded me of Trees of Heaven drama, i love this :(

No Promises - jongin is not happy he had to leave kyungsoo (he is now an angel), but fate has a different plan for them

potslooshi - a few but very nice kd fics uwu

Chances: The blind side - blind!soo is recovering from an accident and kai, who is junmyeon’s brother and soo’s doctor promises jun to pretend to be soo’s husband to help him heal 

Videre - non au smut with some cute moments of them travelling overseas (hj, dirty talk)

lovelyairi - from fluff to angst to smut this author can do it all c:

Make Me Love You - jongin seeks pleasure in a club but he gets more than expected - a pureblood vampire royalty ;) kyungsoo’s shaved head + purple eyes is a wonderful concept

Gentleman - kyungsoo goes to watch Hyung (yeees the movie he’s starring in) in theatres but there’s a person who’s sobbing loudly next to him which is quite annoying! 

Minty_Pixie - the queen of Garnet Hearts! but also of many other incredible fics *u*

Read Me Right - superpowers/abilities, kyungsoo can read people’s minds by a simple touch and he respects jongin’s boundaries (until one day he touches him in an attempt to wake him up from a nightmare)

Through Fire and Ashes - 84k zombie/post-apocalypse au oh em gee!!!! if you are into zombie au and survival theme w lots of heartbreak and action and kd being in love so much they withstand literally everything, what are u waiting for!

life_not_knife - people stop sleeping on this author!!

Hybrid Hyperbole - wolf au, the history of wolves has been always been full of violence, and mistreatment. it is a challenge for both to defy even if it means they’ll have to deal with repercussions

So Damn Hot! - d/s elements, sub!ks and dom!jongin well done uwu

kxdlola120 - nearly 40 kaisoo fics of various genres and aus? thank you for your service :’)

Crimson pink - vampire au, jongin sacrificed by his town to save them from extinction but the vampire he was sold to has seet his eyes on him long before. ongoing!!

Blue - hello angst :’(( jongin is always by kyungsoo’s side and would follow him everywhere, but he doesn’t get to follow him home… (w for terminal illness)

I’ve listed my favourites several times before and that pretty much still stands, these authors are my faves but also who I feel aren’t talked about much! I’ll make sure to rec more authors when I rmb ^^ - Admin J

strange-seas

Faves: The Loneliest Place to Be, Through the Midnight Streets, A Heart at Peace

Underrated: Somewhere Only We Know (it’s SeKai but it’s underrated AND IT’S FRIGGIN BEAUTIFUL)

unfinishedpages

Faves: Do Overs and Second Chances, Something Lost, Something Borrowed.

Underrated: Tahanan, (Watch me make them bow) One by, one by one

jongnugget

Faves: Kiss From a Rose, The Devil Wears Gucci

Underrated: Peace of Mind

verseau

Fave: spreading inside of me

Underrated: by my side (THIS IS ACTUALLY REALLY NICE & A SOFTER, MORE ANGSTY TAKE ON THE USUAL MAFIA AU OK MORE PPL SHLD READ THIS)

Have to put these in cuz they’ll always be my faves: changdictator, uponinfinity, rainbowtoxicity, w_anderingheart, curryramyeon, and of course arosoo

- Admin W

[00lovelylilac00]

Thoughts on TROS

Okay so. One of you asked for this so here it is.

My overall feeling walking out of the theatre was that I had just had a bizarre fever dream but I kinda enjoyed it? I was confused as hell for most of it but it was entertaining.

My overall criticism is that I feel like the movie was good in theory but not in execution. There were lots of ideas and points they were trying to make that didn’t come across. That being said, here are the things that bothered me:

- Palpatine’s return. ‘Nuff said. He literally appears in the opening crawl out of nowhere? And I don’t think they even really explained how he came back?

- Ben’s redemption. Again, not executed well. Why the hell would you make his first scene in the movie him murdering a bunch of people if you wanted to redeem him at the end? I wish they had explored it a bit more. Also, the fact that his last line was “ow”? And that he basically had no lines as Ben? They couldn’t have given him at least a “Rey” or something?

- Ben’s death. (Side tangent abt my personal reaction: I accidentally spoiled the movie for myself but I misunderstood the context. I saw screenshots of them kissing, then saw something about her dying, so I had made my peace with that being the end. I was so shook when she woke up, and I thought the ending would be happy? And then he freaking died lol.) so when I walked out of the movie, I was cool with his death. It sucked, but I also understood why they did it. If he had stayed alive, it would have been real hard to justify all the horrible horrible stuff he had done. But the more I thought about it, the more I felt like it was really the easy way out. It would have been really interesting for them to navigate themes like forgiveness and redemption and just how much one can be forgiven for.

- Reylo in general. Here’s the thing. I was honestly neutral on it going in. I understand why people are both for and against it. But the thing is, she’s 19 and he’s 29? That’s a pretty gross age gap. Not to mention that they’re first cousins once removed. Which brings me to:

- Palpatine. Doing the math, he must have been about 65 when Rey’s dad was born. First off, who would want to with Palpatine. Second, who would want to with a 65 year old??

- The same sex kiss. It was so hyped up, and it was .2 seconds and completely irrelevant.

- Poe and Finn really should have happened. They seriously did have the most chemistry of the whole cast. Oscar Isaac’s comment about how people are too afraid broke my heart.

- Rose. I really didn’t like her in the last movie but her actress didn’t deserve this treatment. It was real jarring for her to go from having a huge part in TLJ to having a couple lines and a pat on the back from Finn.

- The trio. They had a horrible dynamic. The instant Poe and Rey started fighting I was so put off. I feel like in theory they seemed like such a good group, but together it was off. And it wasn’t the actors at all, it was the plot/script.

- HUX. Gonna be honest that was the most iconic part of the whole movie imo. When he went “I’M the spy” I fell in love. Then he started being annoying again but just for that moment he was my fave.

- The plot line with Finn having to tell Rey something. The only reason I know that it was about his force sensitivity is bc tumblr cracked the code. I was so confused and I wish they hadn’t tried to be “subtle” or whatever about it.

- The ending. It was real depressing. Star Wars is the story of the skywalkers and the conclusion of that story is that they all died. Luke Leia and Han all gave their lives to save Ben and he turned around for a sec and then died. They died in vain.

- Rey Skywalker. I kind of get what they were trying to do but it wasn’t clear at all. I hate how they were trying to make it seem literary and like you have to ponder to get the messages but I wish they would have just been explicit about it? I feel like they were trying to say that anyone can be a “skywalker”/good guy your lineage doesn’t matter you can still make a difference and carry on their legacy but it simply was not clear.

- Palpatine. Here’s the thing. I really didn’t want her to have any important ancestry. I thought it sent a better message that you don’t need to come from an important family to be someone important. I wasn’t really mad abt the Palpatine thing but I wish they showed more of her internal struggle abt it? They didn’t actually resolve it or make a point about anything whatsoever, and it could have been a cool thing to explore.

- I didn’t really like the ending shot with her and BB8 on Tatooine. It felt too full circle and not inspiring or exciting/positive at all.

- Oh and here’s a gross quote from JJ: ”There’s as much of a brother and sister thing with Rey and Kylo Ren as there is romantic. So it’s not literally a sexually/romantic kind of thing. It’s more like they’re just bound together in this crazy, spiritual way. Again, [that] felt romantic to me. It’s like John Williams… if you listen to the [music] —when he first wrote the Luke theme. It was a romantic theme for Luke and Leia. That was kind of what he was thinking because he didn’t know where it was going.” Not sure if I read this out of context but...I’m sorry what?? Just because they didn’t plan well and accidentally did incest in the first trilogy doesn’t mean you, as the director, need to make incest on purpose?

Okay so this sounded like I hated the movie but that’s not the case. I just had a lot to say about it. I’m really interested in hearing other people’s opinions too so feel free to rb/reply with your opinion or message me!

[vaingloriosa]

the ultimate tagged masterpost

so, i have been slacking in returning y’all’s tagged games and i felt really bad because some of them were writing tag games...and i had nothing to show for. HOWEVER! i have made a sort of bounce back with a lot of friends supporting me :)

let’s kick things off, huh?

1) “ six sentence snippet tag” tagged by @thedragonkween (im love u!) and @the-darklings (CHILE love u as well!)

here’s y’all’s king quentin beck!! also, i think this is...six sentences...

Quentin isn’t sure why he continues to twiddle with the gold band around his ring finger while he’s not performing in front of an audience.

After every debriefing, he takes a bow as the curtain draws before him, the spotlight diminishing from his view, he can’t help but reach for it. The ring acts like some sort of tether, bound somewhere between the role Quentin plays and something far fetched...a yearning feeling that breaks his own heart at times. He can’t quite find the words to express how he feels but he knows to ignore such foolish longing.

Focus, Beck.

Focus.

2) “author questionnaire tag” tagged by @veanery (gracias, mi amiga!!) and @deviantramblings (MISS. LAUREN!! MWAH!!)

fandoms you write for: bruh moment, it changes almost every single day or sumn. i predominately write for marvel and star wars however i have written for john wick, devil may cry 5, stranger things, and d*troit: b*come h*man in the past. i thought about writing for rdr2 hehe

where you post: if you don’t find my work here, you can find me at ao3 under the pseudo “zebracakes”. fair warning, i do not upload all my stories there unless it’s a personal story that i think my readers over there will appreciate as well. so, if u think u see my work on wattpad or whatever y’all mfs use, that ain’t me!

most popular one-shot: Under the Twinkling Stars is a fake wedding date!john wick x reader story that honestly never thought would take off the way that it did. nearly 2k notes! it was originally a request...like wow kudos to op

most popular multi-chapter story: haha....ahh, i accidentally deleted my multi-series story but it was my one and only so there ain’t no answer here

favorite story you’ve wrote: hands down it’s νοσταλγία. this loki x reader story is something that was written in the spur of the moment and it’s about my favorite trope of all time (soulmate au). i tried a new approaching to writing and i am really happy with the outcome!! sometimes i forget that i actually wrote it sjdsajlda

a story you were nervous to post: like hannah said, all of them. authors always tend to be their own worst critics and i am no different. funny enough, i’ve actually taken down some stories i felt were just...not my strongest because they were a little embarrassing to have them up on display. 

how do you choose your titles: hmm, great question! i know a lot of authors use lyrics as their titles nd like...i wish i had that kinda brand. most of the times, the title ties into the story and though it’s never stated in the story, it relates to what the story is about. some of my more “adventurous” titles revolve around foreign languages and sometimes inspired by song titles.

do you outline: HELL NAH! i have a vague concept, open up an empty text post, and ROLL WITH IT. however, with some stories, i do take a little bit of time to pinpoint crucial moments of the story but other than that...i just wing it, bro.

complete: what the fuck does this mean?? how many stories i’ve completed?? umm on this blog it’s 53? i think? i was counting fast. i did have more pero i deleted a lot of them during a spiral lmaoo

in-progress: according to my drafts, it’s 15 and they are all OVER the place. however, i do not plan on writing all of them. big sad let’s pour one out

coming soon: i know i piqued some of y’all’s interests when i said i’m stepping into the mysterio x reader fic world so i got sumn in the kitchen for y’all. surprisingly...if anyone is up to it....there’s some dbh leftovers in the fridge...

do you accept prompts: of course i always do! though motivation has been a fickle thing so...bear with me and understand if i don’t take your request.

upcoming story you are most excited to write: quentin x reader angst that has me waking up sometimes to write sumn down for it. without giving too much away, it deals with grief, heartache, longing, and...time travel? brooOo i’m the only one excited like it’s just me, omi, nur, and dori shrieking in the woodlands

3) “10 things tag” tagged by @deviantramblings (thank u, madame!)

list 10 things that make me happy :)

good music to dance to

air conditioning

cats

kind words

cold water

ibuprofen

soft blankets

pdf files

keanu reeves

finding money that you forgot u had

4) “last line tag” tagged by @deviantramblings (thank u again, ma’am), @the-darklings (*tips fedora*), and @veanery (u tagged me so LONG ago EYE)

this is for that one quentin beck x reader story i was talking about.

“Is he currently sleep walking?“

this is the last thing i typed on my draft. however, on my notes app....she is just all over the place...idk where she begins and ends. it’s utter chaos

5) “21 questions” tagged by @thefvlcon (thnak u, kayla!!)

Name / Nickname: it’s anjelica but i go by my nickname “angel”

Sign: scorpio sun, aquarius moon, scorpio rising (?) aka i’m all sorts of dumbass

Height: 5 ft 4

Hogwarts House: i’m only interested in y’all’s hufflepuff bc the mascot is cute and apparently they live near the kitchen??

Last thing I Googled: .....electric shaver....don’t @ me bro only omi knows

Favourite musician/s: bro :// umm, mitski, kshmr, lil nas x, bastille, megan thee stallion, foxes, the killers

Last song I listened to: 10,000 nights by alphabeat! such an old school bop y’all BEST listen to it

Song stuck in my head: it ranges from strawberry blond by mitski or barbed wire by rogue

Following: 78

Followers: on this writing blog, 1,861. my main blog has 1,464

Do you get asks: once in awhile hehe

Amount of Sleep: fluctuates from nine hours to straight up four hours asjkdsalk WHEW

Lucky Number: 7? it’s always been 7

What I’m Wearing: my pajamas aka a ratty light blue avengers shirt from walmart with holes and weird stains and pajama shorts with lil stars and moons from walmart as well lmaooo

Dream Trip: PUMPKIN SOUP WORLD TOUR

Instruments: flute and piano...i am a Lady

Languages: english and spanish because i’m basic and unoriginal

Favourite Song/s: of all time?? BABA YETU!!!!!!!!!!

Random Fact: wild how some of y’all don’t know that i have a twin sister. we ain’t look alike pero u came out from the same mom so

Aesthetic: exposed brick, warm tones, neon lighting, pink sunsets, matte, possums

6) “find the word tag” tagged by @deviantramblings (gosh it’s just u nd me and these tag games huh!!)

rules are you are given a set of words to search them in your wips. my set of challenge words are:  tear(s), snow, sun, laugh

omg...i couldn’t....find any of those words in any of my wips asjkdsajkldsa WHEW this was quite....uneventful lmao sorry to disappoint :(( however, i did find some with the word “laughter”...does that count?

start from the beginning (connor x reader)

Hank can’t contain his laughter as he wraps his arms across his chest and shakes his graying hair. He knows that when Connor whips out his formal title out, it’s all in a joking, familial matter. “Oh, and you’re gonna use me as well? Shit, kid, might as well take my house while you’re at it.”

untitled bucky x reader

Your laughter sounds like a sweet melody, one he’s heard over and over again yet he never gets tired of hearing it. Bucky watches as you stand up and walk towards him to take the mason jars out of his hands. His eyes look down to observe a golden wedding band around your finger which prompts him to look at his own left hand. Lo and behold, gold.

oh hold up i found “laugh” lmaooo

untitled connor x reader

“Hello? Is anyone home?” He waves his hand over your face to snap you out of your daze. Your reaction makes Connor’s whole body shake as he laughs with his entire being. A shy smile grows as you lick the seam of your lips and giggle softly to yourself. The candles on the cake flicker, the flames creating a hypnotic trance as they dance to and fro.

(if it sounds ooc, there’s a reason for that that you’ll find out IF I EVER PUBLISH IT LMAOO)

WAIT! I FOUND “TEAR(S)”!!

untitled bucky x reader

Tears prickle at the edge of your eyes but you must not show the fear, the exact physiological response they’re anticipating. You slow down your erratic breathing, trying your best to calm your racing heart. Your eyes shift from your boots to the containment they are keeping your Bucky in. He is sound asleep, a false sense of peace and equilibrium. You want to caress his face and to press your body against him once again to remember the feeling you’ve lost years ago.

7) “ writing style alignment tag” tagged by @deviantramblings (u a real one)

most definitely a chaotic planster! defined by:

has an idea for a plot when they start

who writes things down??

has to assemble scenes into a frankendraft

my method is incredibly messy when it comes to writing. usually there is an idea (thanks, nick fury), which is usually triggered by a scene i want to develop. sometimes all i have is a scene but no plot. sometimes i have a concept of a plot with no real direction. AM I VALID??

8) “ playlist shuffling tag” tagged by @the-darklings (*jenna marbles voice* oh hell yeah) and @veanery (oh my gosh this tag is from many MOONS ago)

since my main playlist only has like five songs, i will go into my general playlist where it’s a literal...what even is it...

oriana by roger zarzour

focus by blackcode

superhuman by crystal knives

adios by ricky martin

take me (not your dope remix) by jikay

all you need to know by gryffin

this is love by hardwell

can’t hear a word you’re saying by x-change

kay gayi chull by the kapoor & sons cast

music del corazon by josh groban

9) “about me tag” tagged by @veanery (brooo thank u), @pointedly-foolish (ayy lmaoo suh dude), @deviantramblings (this was a popular game huh), and @wrinkledparchment (miss. lexi said rights!)

name: angel

gender: female

birthday: november 10th

relationship status: single

favorite color: sunflower yellow

top 3 ships: besides my usual self-ships, let’s do some...actual ships. finnrey, thorkyrie, finnpoe

last song: 学園天国 by clc

last movie: *checks letterboxd* spider-man: far from home lmaooo asjkdsjakl

10) “OTP challenge “ tagged by @reyskywclker (thank u for my rights, miss. parker)

besides the ones that i said in the previous tag, here’s ten more

john/abigail

han/leia

rey/jessika

sam/bucky

thor/bruce

carol/maria

t’challa/nakia

connor/north

peter/mj (mcu)

fuck i literally don’t ship a lot omg i am running on FUMES uhhhh....tiana/prince naveen

11) “about me” tagged by @reyskywclker (this is literally from earlier this year eye...)

Q1. Relationship status?

single and printing out boyfriend applications as we speak

Q2. Favourite colour?

right now it’s yellow :) it definitely fluctuates with what’s going tf on with my life. real life mood ring

Q3. Top 3 ships?

i’m going self-ships because it’s MY sleepover!! loki/me but two more times

Q4. Lipstick or chapstick?

MATTE LIQUID LIPSTICK IS THE ONLY WAY TO GOOOO

Q5. Last song I listened to?

came here for love by sigala

Q6. Last movie I watched?

spidey far from homie

12) “aesthetics tag” tagged by @deviantramblings (mwah!)

honey and lemon or milk and sugar // musicals or plays // lemonade or iced tea //strawberries or raspberries // winter or summer // beaches or forests // diners or cafés //unicorns or dragons // gemstones or crystals // hummingbirds or owls // fireworks or sparklers // brunch or happy hour // sweet or sour // rome or amsterdam // classic or modern art // sushi or ramen // sun or moon // polka dots or stripes // macaroon or croissants // glitter or matte //degas or seurat // aquariums or planetariums // road trip or camping trip //colouring books or water colour // fairy lights or candles

13) “about tag” tagged by @obsiidio (o hy mgosdhashdja HELLLLOOO!!)

name: angel, formally known as anjelica age: 24 lmaooo favourite colour: yellow!! when you made this account: may 26, 2010 at 8:40:44 PM follower count: 1,861?? i think? superpower: night owl favourite drink: ICE COLD WATER, BABEYY! a song(s) you love right now: devil inside me by kshmr dream career: for now....doing something fun while getting paid dream vacation: tokyo and seoul aka just the pumpkin soup world tour hogwarts house: hufflemfpuff fuck jk rowlings for sorting me into gryffindor favourite character this week: DR. JOHNNY WILCOX!!!! HELL YEAH!! christmas or halloween: halloweem

and THAT’S THAT ON THAT! whew, that was...a lot of energy. this took me two days to finish. for those who have not been tagged in these challenges, feel free to tag me in any of these :) you do NOT have to do each and everyone of them ajskdjsal 

[imbellarosa]

Good Omens

Okay so I wrote a thing on the book a while ago, and I reread the book about a week before the show came up and I LOVED IT AGAIN BUT. I’m going to take a more critical eye now. Before we start, I’m going to say that id do a rewatch of the show. It’s gorgeously made, and most of the characters are compelling, and the story is brilliant, as always, if a bit different. So over all, for me, 8/10. Good? Good!

Now! Let’s start w the parts I didn’t love:

1.) the narration. This is zero surprise to the people who have been following as I watch this, but I think that if I’m watching a story through a visual medium, I’d like to WATCH it, not have the book read to me w pretty pictures over it. Episode 5/6 have the least narration and are, no surprise, some of my favorite episodes!

2.) Newt and Anathema. These characters had the least amount of life and were...not funny. I think that too much time was spent on them, and there was no real justification for it. They work (sort of) in the book, but I think they could have cut most of their scenes in episode 4, put more heaven/hell dynamic/ Adam’s arc, and had a stronger episode for it.

3.) Jon Hamm was tragically under used. Gabriel wasn’t a character in the book, really, but if your going to have JON HAMM play someone, and do it well - he did it really well - flesh him out a bit! They would have had less random angels, but this one really brilliant actor/character should have had more time!

4.) Adam’s transition to darkness. It felt. Really sudden. Like - he saw the picture of Satan and was like “yup I’m evil”. They didn’t mention the really powerful part of this story: he wanted to make the people he loved happy. And I love how in the book, he doesn’t hurt his friends - he would NEVER. In fact, it’s when he realizes that the world isn’t his - it’s THEIRS - that he comes back to himself. I LOVE THAT ARC, because it is LITERALLY "the road to hell is paved with good intentions", and I also love the kids that played the Them, and I think that they should have had that nuance.

5.) Episode 4. Just. Way too random and a mash of mostly unnecessary scenes.

6.) They tried for whimsy, and sometimes it worked (Freaky Friday was great!) and sometimes it just...didn't (Shadwell's finger - like. wtf)

Okay! So here are some bits that confused me a bit?

1.) the sudden tone shifts - I honestly didn’t know that Aziraphale and Crowley had been dating the whole time until episode 3? And I don’t think that Neil Gaiman did either. Also, I didn’t know if some of the scenes were being played for a laugh or not, and that’s sometimes because the words and the score/tone didn’t match.

2.) the whales thing. It popped up like...several times, and while I’m a Star Trek fan and I appreciate the references, I was starting to feel like it was a bit of a Chekhov’s gun, and it never went off.

3.) shadwell, as a character. That’s it. That confuses me greatly.

4.) Armeggdon means the end of everything, right? Bc that’s what it means in the book? So I was SUPER CONFUSED when Crowley kept suggesting they run away?? Like...okay, cool, but you’ll just die out in the stars vs on earth. I don’t think it was ever explained that it was just earth that was ending. In fact, Crowley explicitly said that after the end of the world all that would be left was eternity, not “eternity and the stars”, so while I LOVE ineffable husbands, this plot line confused me

Now for the good! And there was so much of it!!

1.) Crowley and Aziraphale. That was easily the best and most interesting part of this show. I’ve said it in a few tags and I’ll say it again: this is a HUGE step forward for the fantasy genre. Not only are these unlikely heroes gorgeously written, but they are CANONICALLY IN LOVE, and it made this a more interesting and a deeper story. ALSO it made me engage with the source material in a different way. Which I loved, because at first I had thought that they were the tiniest bit in love, but they're not. They're MASSIVELY IN CAPITAL L LOVE, and they're willing to prove it, and they do, over and over, and it's more than magical, it's ineffable, and God thinks so too.

2.) Michael Sheen and David Tennant. If the first point was about the characters, the second is about the actors. They had so much love for these characters, and brought so much nuance to them, and they played off of each other so well, that when they were on screen, you could believe that what was happening was real. They elevated this show in such an amazing way. Also, David Tennant could have chemistry with a rock. Bravo.

3.) The scene with Adam and his father. When he was explaining what it meant to be family. This meant a lot to me personally, and I think this one, along with the scene right before it, were the best scenes of the entire show. This book, and then the show, have always been about how loyalty is based on love, and how the strongest bonds form over time and shared experiences, not because it's written somewhere (*side eyes Newt and Anathema*).

4.) The scene where Crowley stops time, and they tell Adam that no matter what he chooses, they support him PLUS Aziraphale telling Adam that he's human and that means he has a choice, and them holding his hands, because he is a scared little boy and they do love him.

5.) The fact that this story is a love letter to humanity. This should be higher on the list, but I'm typing them as I remember them, so. This story is about loving both because and in spite of. We should save the world in spite of the fact that Death is always among us. So is war, and famine, and Pollution and pestilence. We should save the world in spite of the fact that humanity can be the worst of hell. Because between all of that bad stuff, there is also incredible kindness, and love, and peace, and friendships that change you and form you. In between the worst of hell, you find the best of heaven, and in between that, you find old cars and backwoods and red boots and bookshops and families that you choose and make and let go. And if any of it is worth fixing, then all of it is worth saving, and this story understands that.

6.) The drunk scene. I've never laughed so hard as I did when David Tennant screamed that the point was dolphins.

7.) The soundtrack was art. I loved how they interwove Queen songs with these gorgeous instrumental pieces, and then the last song was just a stroke of genius.

8.) The cinemetography, sets, set pieces, and costumes were amazing. The attention to detail was phenomenal. This was a triumph for the director, the set crew, the costume department, camera crew, and, of course, the post production crew.

9.) Pepper. That's it. That's the point. She's amazing. So are the rest of the Them, of course, but Pepper? Iconic.

10.) Episode six. The whole thing was beautiful.

So I loved it. I really wanted to, but I was so scared that I wouldn't and then I DID AND IT WAS GORGEOUS. I will definitely be rewatching this soon.

[keith-is-not-an-emo]

which fics are you reading atm if you don’t mind sharing? ty!

Oh boy anon, oh boy.

You don’t know what you’ve done.

There will be E rated fics but they won’t solely be smut fics or too extreme.

edit: it seems like you can’t access the post from your dashboard so you have to be on my blog to see it *sighs* good job tumblr, like always.

star-crossed by realfakedoors (or anything they write, you’ll be seeing a lot of that here)

They said, once upon a time, in a faraway land, there was a peaceful and prosperous kingdom, rich in romance and tradition. They said the Prince would host a ball, and choose his spouse, and they would live happily ever after.Well, they lied.

–

Keith is a Prince, and Lance lives with his shitty extended family. Neither of them are very happy, and when they meet, they’re surprised to have so much in common. Strangers, to friends, and then, well…

Meanwhile, Hunk is a sweetheart, Pidge is an iconic asexual, Shiro is a supportive Knight Dad™, Allura isn’t here for anyone’s crap, and there’s some political shit going on that forces them all together.

okay so how do i say it? it might be fave kl fic atm. this is my dirty laundry, my on thin ice. i love eveeery thing about it. i literally drop anything im doing if i see it updated. Also the last chapter? got me Shook.

also i KNOW about that big E rating there but the smut is in only one chap and i think the author marked it so it’s totally complementary and doesn’t add anything to the story so don’t worry.

breakfast on the moon by DairyFarmer (also very very recommended author!!)

Future Prom King, student body president, and all around hottie Lance McClain is abducted from his home in Arizona in 1997.

He is found decades later in the clearance section of an Earth paraphernalia store by the Paladins of Voltron.

another one of my big faves atm. everyone is very attentive of lance which is *clenches fist and wipes tear* very good. also it screams future langst and i cant wait :) (im kind of a langst hoe sorry not sorry)

let’s play pretend and hope it comes true by fevered_dreams

The Kingdom of Altea was quickly heading towards ruin. At least, it had been until the Royal Family’s eldest daughter had been born as an alpha. The people had rejoiced at her birth, and there was hope yet for a new ruler and a future secured. Even the fact that the second Royal Child had been born a beta couldn’t dampen their spirits.

Except Lance was not an beta. He was just an omega, trying his best to keep the charade going with a set of spells, pills, and all the tinctures he could brew because being an omega was dangerous. Being an omega made him something to be had, a rusted tool of barter worth less than scraps in return, and Altea couldn’t afford to let him go.

But, if Lance’s luck would have it, Prince Keith of the Blade wouldn’t mind being lied to too much.

okay okay in my defence, this one STILL doesn’t have smut. only kinda steamy make-out sessions. also don’t let the a/b/o scare you, there is talk about the dynamics but not so much in the sexual way, u’kno?

anything by BleuSarcelle, but if i have to chose one, let’s go with Of Pink Freckles and Green Moles

Lance now can see the boy’s face and he can only stare at the pretty color in the boy’s eyes before he’s suddenly being squished by two hands.

“Papa!” the boy shouts happily back at the adult that makes his way other them hurriedly. The boy hardly notices, still too fixed on squeezing Lance’s cheeks for a second longer before he giggles. “Papa, ugly!”

“Keith, no! Oh my god -”

“Ugly,” the boy repeats obliviously, patting Lance’s cheeks with a proud gleam in his eyes. “Ooh-gly!”

Lance doesn’t know what that word means but for some reason, it makes him cry harder.

[Or the one where Keith and Lance meet when they are two and three years old respectively and spend their entire childhood going through charity contests. Lance says they are rivals, Keith only hears ‘best friends’.]

super cute G kidfic.

Ground Control to Major Tom by yourfavoritetsundre

A year after Keith and Lance have a big falling out, Lance is…well, he’s not missing. He’s fine. He’s just not telling anyone where he is. Keith decides maybe the best way to apologize for being an absolute monster is to track him down.

Following Lance’s path of self-discovery, Keith starts to remember all the things about Lance he had buried years before. Because of the war, because of the Blade, because of Allura. And he starts to realize that maybe he’s to blame for more than he thought.

Meanwhile, Curtis just wants to plan his quiznacking wedding.

post-s8 fic

Written in Sand by MuseofWriting

Lance wakes up in a hospital on Earth to discover he has been missing for four months, with no memory of Voltron or the Galra. Drawn inexplicably to the desert where they found him, he discovers a hut full of research and notes that may provide the key to his missing memories. With secrets and conspiracies surrounding him, and the Garrison potentially hiding far more than he could ever have imagined, Lance grows to trust the notes in the desert - but he may not believe the person who claims he wrote them.

this one has been around for a while (a year to be precise) and i thinks its pretty aknowledged in the fandom but *shrugs* 

until we get there by starlightment

Sometimes his mind is cruel. He’ll wake in the dead of night, drowning in his sweat, choking on his tears. He’ll clutch at old bedsheets until his knuckles fade to white. He’ll shiver in the darkness, and the light blue marks beneath his eyes will start to burn, and his lungs will heave, aching for a breath that just isn’t there.

And sometimes Keith comes to visit.

Those are the best days, Lance thinks.

Those are the days when it’s easiest to breathe.

—

Or: Lance loses himself a little bit, but Keith is there to help him find it again.

post-s8 fic. i think i dont even need to present they author since they’re better know for writing something blue (i heard wonders abt it but havent found the chance to read it yet). also i cant fucking wait for their new fic like im vibrating here on my seat bc i LOVEEEE the trope of jock keith / nerd/prep lance dont judge me

sunflower by xintong (uuh i think i dont have to introduce this author either lmao)

On the morning of their first summer back on Earth, Lance receives a gift of sunflowers. A confession, a rejection, and the passage of time, all leading to the one person who’s always been there for him.

another post-s8 fic because honestly i needed healing at that time okay. super soft and cute and uuughhhh i cant deal

Pretty Ob(li)vious by msmooseberry

Lance loves make-up and being pretty while wearing it. Unfortunately, even in the world where Earth becomes one of the main centres of intergalactic communication and home to many races, his hobbies are still largely frowned upon. He never wanted other cadets at the Galaxy Garrison to find out, especially not his half-Galra crush, but that is exactly what happens. Lance prepares for the hate or ridicule at best, but the reaction he gets is something else entirely. Who knew Galra viewed lilac sparkly lips as a betrothal symbol?

keith finding lance the most beautiful being ever? uuh yeah? gimme that shit

Chestnut And Onyx by MilkTeaMiku (great author too!)

If his eyes weren’t deceiving him, Keith looked a little flushed. He crossed his arms over his chest, wings all puffed up and ruffled like he was preening. “I didn’t know you were that flexible,” he said. And then he looked angry, and his wings puffed up even more, and he stormed away. -Lance thinks his wings aren’t all that pretty, but Keith has other ideas. If only Lance knew.

langst wing-fic. what could i ask more for?

you’re lucky that’s what i like by zenstrike

Lance rescues a hamster from certain doom.

or, Lance has Keith wrapped around his little finger and doesn’t even realize it.

just. take the whole fucking thing. just take it

aaand these are the ones that appear on my feed that have been updated recently since most of them aren’t finished (sowwy). the bad thing about reading a lot of fics and having bad memory is that i already forgot half of my fave fics, probably, lmao.

[mimicsecretdiary]

Star Wars oneshot

[beware: long post ahead] Introduction

The Galaxy,for the first time,seems to be at peace: the Republic and Empire have reached a stall and acceptable agreements and both of them are not pinching and nabbing at each other too much. This is also thanks to the just-ended great war, lasting the incredible short period of 5 years, which had ended with a large-scale schism of the Sith order that destabilized the Empire. There are those who say the Sith "rebels" were supported by the Republic, some say they were headed by a Sith lord with powers comparable or even higher than the Emperor himself. The fact is that now the intergalactic forces are more or less in peace. [Characters introductions here]

The scene opens with a Chiss pilot in space. Janos has just finished one of his regular smuggling jobs and he's relaxing while the most recent member of his "one man crew" is being the paranoid of the bunch and he's checking the ship for any evidence or problems that might have happened during the mission. They receive a call on holo from a "private number" basically, and Janos, before letting his "co-pilot" paranoid human hacker answer, checks from where it arrives. It's from Korriban. "AH. EXCELLENT". They are a bit on the defensive but Jaydkan,the hacker knowns as "cresto", or hacker, or paranoid, or simply J says that "curiosity makes him curious" (he's a hacker, not a poet) and they respond. It is a rattataki that calls Janos by name (OK) and tells him that it is the apprentice of his "employer" (GREAT) and that has a job for him, perhaps the last "mandatory" one (actual good), and she basically wants me to pick up two Night Sisters( G L O R I U O S) and a couple of jedi ( SPEC TA CU LAR) to help her Master in a thing. "ah ok, so now I'm taxi service". Of course I accept, I do not have the right to refuse, and I head to the coordinates. The scene moves to the Night Sisters, who are briefly informed about the matter by teh same rattataki woman, even if they already knew what they had to do and they get informed about who and where and when they will be taken to do such work. Madea and Winter are of few words and many facts so when the "taxi" arrives, they introduce themselves - more or less- and they go quietly in their ""lodgings"" on the ship to meditate. New change of scene and we are on Typhon, known planet of jedi temples. Three jedi are digging and working in an archeologic site when one of the three, Sa'Vin, recieves an holo call. From a "private number" She moves away from the tent and answers, finding the same rattataki as before. But she knows her by name ("Tiraka"), and knows who she is and who her Master is, as she had had "dealings" with him in the past. There is a strenuous conversation where Tiraka asks for support from Sa'Vin, and she deduces that it must be a great deal if it is her and not her Master who calls for help. The sith apprentice confirms the situation it's as such. With a sigh, Sa'vin accepts the caller's request for help and closes the call, speaking soon after privately with her padawan Milisendis asking if she would feel comfortable doing a "special" mission. The Miraluka girl seems to be interested academically speaking and, when asked, the other Jedi, a Givin called Iad-aan, appears to be interested as well (there is a samll player-death here bcs the charcter vocie od Iad-aan made me die laughing.). Iad-Aan asks if it is an illegal thing, and when it is confirmed that it is not "technically" he lightly accepts. Sa'vin drives in speeder the two colleagues / companions to the place of randevouz for Tiraka had confirmed that she had already arranged somebody to come and get them near the place of need. The three await the ship in a open grassfield and when the said transport arrives after a a couple of hours, Iad-Aan uses the Force to "see" who is inside and percieves clearly two strong sources of Force not fully trained on but mostly Dark Ways. On the other hand, the Night Sisters perceive themselves to be observed. Landing, Janos comes down from the ship to check his "cargo" and remaining pleasantly surprised by (re)Seeing Sa'vin, cordially greeting Millisendis and remaining a little shocked by the welcoming of the Givin, makes them jump on board, urgently asking not to provoke quarrels with the other two young ladies in the ship. There is a brief chat between Janos and Sa'vin, where she asks him to use the name with which she presented herself and where she whispers that she would like to know where he had met this current employer of his (The sith master she also knows). "I could ask you the same question, Counsellor Sa'vin" "it is not obvious that i will not answer". On the ship they all meet up with a young blue twi'lek and a jawa, who is promptly threatened by Janos who warns the small alien that he is "keeping an eye on him (Zili.. Don't let it touch my droid)". It's obvious that this kind of conversation is now routine on the ship. [Sa'vins player was feeling ill so she left after this point] Before taking off, on the datapad that gave Janos the coordinates for the variosu landings a message compose itself and it suggests to ask the Nighsisters to explain the problem to the new arrivals of the ship. Janos hurriedly gets up (complaining that it could have wrote the message in the 5 seconds before i had sat down on the pilot seat) and he goes, but before he could hear the Night sisters' negative answer, he's already gone. The journey starts... without any of the main groups exchanging covnersations. We arrive at the coordinates set: a moon that looks more like a cemetery of buildings than an inhabited place, with several craters created or from large battles or frequent meteorites. When the ship docks, the landing pod blocks my supports and I find myself very frustrated at the idea of ​​not being able to just get the fuck out. The jedis and the non-Force-users get off board looking at a pyramid liek tomb, stil lwondering what we are doing there since miss onehanded -shotgun-loading-sound Madea has not told us anything about the job yet. Looking around the landing pod we see the door of a pyramidal tomb that is closed by two statues with hands and arms joined. The scavengers notice also some computers with soem data running on the screens and the hacker + twi'lek are observing with great interests the tech there: it's an automatic station for archaeological finds' analysis. J downloads a bit of the just finished analysis on the device and Yewzili pockets some various paddles. I'm like "kid don't do it" and she "it's to repay you: 3" "if you want to repay me by sicking 45 angry Siths because I stole their precious antique night vases, i'll gladly skip that" "they will never notice." While the three smuggler-type pirate things, the jedis use the Force to open the doors, after Madea said, very caustic, that their employer is literally just locked inside (janos: "AH he called us because he got stuck a tomb, this is AMAZING"). The jedi open the door of 50cm and let pass the two Night sisters in front of line, then they go in and finally the mere blaster-holders go at the rear. As soon as we get all inside, Iad-aan uses the Force again to perceive dangerous creatures and finds two or three BIG clustersof negative energy plus a more powerful one of inestimable suffering in the depths of the tomb. We assume that's out quarry. Trying to avoid the clusters of life forms perceived by the mathematical jedi, we start our descent. At the first junction we are attacked by a Kath who is severely mistreated by the force-users (Medea jumps behind him using the wall as a lever hitting his back, ian-aad splats it on the ceiling, Zili electifies it with the vibrosword and finally Medea eviscerates it while iad -aan overkills it with a Force-beheading. Janos kinda just puts away the blaster shrughing). A little further on we find another forkin the road, with both ends going downhill, and an obelisk at the center of a small opening in the cave. The jedi interact with it- in whisper - while Janos  -"feeling lucky" in whisper - gets a very bad feeling from the way on the right. Iad-aan says that the obelisk has "spoken to him" and that we must continue in the way right but "without touching the dead" - something along these lines. There is a brief pseudo-philosophical discussion between iad and medea where medea does not seem particularly inclined to speak, while janos and zili are having an heated covnersation about some potential good stored in Janos' ship that zili may or may not have"resold" or used (spoielr: it was spice. (context: spice in sw its drug basically)). In the fustration, Janos does not realize that he is walking right in the direction of the bad feeling. We arrive in a room full of stacks of skeletons and Iad-Aan assumes these are the dead not to be touched, so with nonchalance levitates wit hthe Force across the room (he's usign a lot of Force powers, he should be more careful). Madea comments caustically that "some" people REALLY like to show "how many things they can do"; the Night Sisters make show of their great agility and the others (Milisendis Zili, and J) simply walk - janos needs a few seconds before deciding to cross the room .  The "bad feeling" really gets to him- [J's player is prone to be very sleepy so he left as well at this poing] Just as we are getting out the blasted room, 6 huge and disgusting humanoids, Rakghouls, jump on us and we start a fight. Janos  -last in the line so first to be attacked- slips his entire arm into the mouth of one of these monsters as it growls and he like unloads his blaster charge in the skull of the disgusting thing, causing it to burst from within. The creature falls to the ground coem a fish without bones, ("Ah ... he bit me ç_c ...") biting janos' arm on the way down; Iad-aan unleashes his levitate to lift himself up into the cavernous room and not get caught by two of them; medea uses, according to old tactics already tried, Winter as jumping pad and twirling in the air with feline grace and shoots in the head to another of the creatures with the blaster incorporated in her mechanical arm; zili jumps back while the attack of the jedi padawan Milisendis doesn't go as good as she would have wanted. In the second round with a bit of Force pushes and blaster shots an classical Force-beheadings, we take the rest out. Medea snaps a bit of acid words to Zili ("Cowardice will not keep you alive") and we contine along the path down (zili is quite offended: "it actually works pretty good to me"). Around the corner we hear heavy steps and Mili, Yewzilin and Janos peek the corridor while Iad-Aan perceives it with Force: it is a fairly large creature known to feed on the Force + force users altogether. Janos comments that "hey, at least three of us are safe!" readily correct that they are nonetheless creatures carinvore and the Force flows in all of us. yadda yadda jedi shit. Janos promptly takes zili for an arm and literally sprints silently across the corridor to where the creature is eating some corpse or carcass. Zili does not make a sound but Janos almost slips and schatters a bone by mistake. Luckly the creature does not seem to care too much. ("DAMN IT YOU OLD MAN" Zili whispers angrly. "Ehy watch your mouth kid, the thing didn' saw us anway!!") Janos was "arguing" with Zili to use the Jawa as a distraction while Milsendis and Medea convinced Iad-aan that usinf the Force -again- to move soem rock in a far away corridoir would have not distracted the creature because it would have felt the source of the Force-usage. Some more or less sucessful sneaking made us avoid the creature complitely. We find now in front of a dor not much different from the one we met earlier and Medea with Winter brute-forcibly try to push it open (Medea: "will you others help us or not?". Janos and zili, together:"no no i think i'l lstay here watchign you two." zili:"I could watch them all day * eyes emoji *") while the jedi reuse the Push to Force it open. The initially percieved source of pain becomes it stronger once we enter the next room. [And hereby we ended the oneshot]