#Lauren writes

[milfjensenackles]

happy november 5th eve to all who celebrate

three years later

read it on ao3 | 355 words

Dean wakes with a start, his breath heavy and hot on his tongue.

You changed me.

I love you.

Why does this sound like a goodbye?

Because it is.

It was just a nightmare, he reminds himself. He looks over to the other side of the bed. A sleeping Castiel snores softly, curled up on himself with a leg wrapped in the sheet. That shit drives Dean insane. The stupid angel always steals all the covers and then acts all innocent in the morning as though Dean wasn’t fighting within an inch of his life for a blanket just a few short hours ago. Dean smiles. He wouldn’t give it up for anything.

The nightmares have become fewer and far between over the years, but when they come, they come with a vengeance. Dean blindly grabs for his phone in the dark. 3:16 AM. November 5, 2023.

Ah. Makes sense.

It’s been three years since Castiel died. It’s been 2 years, 5 months, and 4 days since Castiel came back. Not that Dean is counting.

2 years, 5 months, and 4 days since Castiel appeared in a blaze of light in the bunker kitchen. 2 years, 5 months, and 4 days since Dean grabbed Castiel and never let go. 2 years, 5 months, and 4 days since Dean kissed Castiel for the first time, and wondered why he hadn’t been doing that the whole time.

Castiel stirs in his sleep. “Dean?” he mumbles. It sounds a little more like ‘Deeb’ than anything else. Dean chuckles and lays his phone back down on the nightstand before reaching over and wrapping Castiel up in his arms. Castiel settles back in, his head nestled between Dean’s cheek and shoulder. “Are you okay?”

Dean presses a soft kiss to Castiel’s forehead. “I’m okay, buddy. Just a nightmare.”

Cas looks up at him, only one eye open. “What about?”

“Nothing,” he replies, kissing Castiel soundly on the lips. “It doesn’t matter now.”

Dean is slowly lulled back to sleep by the sound of Castiel’s soft breathing. The nightmares might come again, but he doesn’t have to face them alone.  

[cower-before-power]

I know I said my next fic would probably be a Rolan fic but I got an idea for an angsty Gale one and I think I’m gonna go with that first.

[lpdwillwrite4coffee]

y'all better prepare to be sick of me cuz my next spicy romance novel comes out on August 2nd and I'm O B S E S S E D

it's a BDSM dark fantasy romance with a Pleasure Dom Incubus and a Plus Size Witch and there's so much spice y'all. like, So. Much.

they're both morally grey and they're both cinnamon rolls, they contain multitudes

[1984pdf]

[fantrollology]

🎄 lauren also unfortunately for me i like that loser

Lauren is currently attempting to wash out a large red wine stain in a sink, to little avail. Not like the wet shirt would be much use, nor did he care much about it despite it being one of his “nice” ones, but washing it out gave him a reason to step away from the dinner he was invited to.

Why the hell did he come? How did Styx convince him he could possibly feel like he belonged at a dinner table with his family? To come planetside? They had been as welcoming as Styx had assured they’d be, but Lauren’s footing was off. His brute of confidence was built for bars and schmoozing his way into paid rides from planet to planet. Here, he felt like a sore thumb, like an intruder, a pity invite, a loser. For the first time in a long time, Lauren felt genuinely… insecure. He hadn’t felt so out of place since he was the shortest and only-est cuspblood at a fucking clown service. Styx’s whole family was so nice, so happy; accepting a place in it felt like lying.

He just needed an excuse to leave. Something he forgot he had to do, that spilling the wine reminded him of, perhaps. While trying to formulate something the door opened behind him, Styx’s face appearing in the mirror. Lauren’s eyes darted back down to the ruined shirt. Better think of something quick.

[stonerbella]

Feelin a bit writey, drop me some mini prompts? I’ll basically write anything gay

-criminal minds

-Schitts creek

-buddy the vampire slayer

-rosalie/Bella or Bella/Alice from twilight lol

[thoughtkick]

Sometimes beautiful things come into our lives out of nowhere. We can’t always understand them, but we have to trust in them. I know you want to question everything, but sometimes it pays to just have a little faith.

Lauren Kate, Torment

[quotefeeling]

When you love someone, when you care for someone, you have to do it through the good and the bad. Not just when you’re happy and it’s easy.

Lauren Olivier

[milfjensenackles]

unhinged

1.4k words | read it on ao3

This fic is an early Valentine’s Day gift for my beautiful girlfriend @breedablejensenackles and it is inspired by the way we originally started dating. 

Castiel makes a Hinge account. Dean is pissed about it.

Dean is going to kill Sam.

Recently, Cas has been asking a lot of questions about ‘human mating rituals’, as he so subtly puts it. Sam, as a result, decided to set Cas up with his very own Hinge account. Dean was furious about it, which only made Sam more willing to help Cas.

“What do you care, Dean? Cas is allowed to have a little fun sometimes, too.”

Dean huffs and crosses his arms over his chest. Sam and Cas are sitting at the kitchen table together, picking the photos and answering the questions that would attract the right people.

Cas looks up at Dean with a small smile that he reserves just for him. “Maybe you should make one, Dean.”

Dean musters the ugliest look he could manage. “Over my dead body.”

Sam shrugs. “Suit yourself.”

Dean huffs again, but no one paid him any attention. It’s not like they knew why Dean was so upset. Dean barely understood it himself.

Recently, Dean has been seeing Castiel in a different light. Things that he normally might find annoying were now endearing. Dean loves when Cas rolled his eyes at his jokes. Dean loves the focus and concentration it takes for Castiel to learn something new about living as a human. Dean loves just spending time with Cas, no matter what it is they’re doing. Dean loves a lot of things about Cas, and it scares the shit out of him.

It didn’t help that Cas came out as gay a few weeks ago. Dean didn’t even know angels could have a sexuality.

“What do you think of this guy, Dean?” Castiel says innocently, shocking Dean out of his self-imposed spiral.

Dean squints to get a better look at the small phone screen. Pretty normal looking guy. Nothing special. He says as much to Cas.

Cas rolls his eyes. “I ‘did a match’ with him,” he furrows his brow, “Is that the correct phrase, Sam?”

“You matched with him, Cas.”

“Thank you, Sam.”

Dean rolls his eyes.

“Well, I think it’s a great idea to go out to a bar or a coffee shop or whatever with a stranger,” Dean interjects, sarcasm dripping from his tongue.

Cas frowns. “Thank you, Dean. I appreciate your support.”

“I wasn’t being—” Dean starts to reply, but then decides against correcting Cas, “No problem, man.”

---

Dean’s phone beeps from his pocket. He unlocks it to see he has an unread message from Cas.

Cas: I think I’m going to go.

Cas left for a case in Nevada with Jack a couple of days ago. Father-son bonding, Castiel had called it. Dean wondered if Cas meant to send the text to Jack. Castiel was still struggling to get the hang of technology.

Dean: Go where?

Cas: On the date with the man from the website.

Cas: You said it was a good idea.

Dean put his phone down and took a deep breath. Cas. On a Hinge date, of all things. He couldn’t stomach it.

He imagines Castiel being charmed by a faceless man. He imagines the man flirting with Castiel. He imagines the man reaching for Castiel’s hand, and Castiel allowing it. He imagines the man leaning in to kiss Castiel…

No.

He can’t let this happen.

But what other choice did he have?

Dean: Or you could let me take you on a date instead.

He stares at the message. He lets it sit there, taunting him. He can’t actually send that, right? He doesn’t want to ruin the carefully crafted friendship he and Cas have, one where they don’t address their feelings whatsoever and dance around anything that might send them tipping right over the edge of something that Dean is too terrified to consider.

Dean walks over to the wall of his bedroom and smacks his forehead against it. The action doesn’t provide any clarity, and only serves to worsen the headache he’s developing.

Dean stares at his phone again.

He grabs his coat from the hook by his bedroom door, yells to Sam that he’s going for a walk, and stalks outside into the cold.

As soon as he’s away from the bunker, he pulls that damned phone back out of his pocket and rereads the message he wrote. And he presses send.

He then promptly throws his phone ten feet away from him to avoid facing what he just did.

He stands there near the front door of the bunker, staring at his now most likely broken phone sitting on the black asphalt of an empty road. I can’t believe I just did that, he thinks to himself. I just ruined everything.

Dean realizes that he has to actually pick up his phone if he wants to know what Cas has to say. He grabs it, avoiding eye contact with the screen like it might kill him if he so much as blinks in its direction. And then he starts walking.

He must have walked ten miles by the time he hears another beep. At least that’s what it felt like. He slowly lifts his phone up and unlocks it.

Cas: I would like that, Dean.

Dean’s face splits in half with a grin. It doesn’t even feel real. Maybe it’s not, his brain supplies. He sends another message to Cas to convince himself otherwise.

Dean: I hope you understand how serious I am. I’m taking you on a date. It’ll be way better than that creep from Hinge.

Cas: You’re much better than any man on that website.

Dean is giddy. He’s never been able to describe himself that way, but nothing else fits the way he’s feeling in this moment. He asked Cas out. Cas said yes.

---

Dean is watching a movie when Cas and Jack get home.

Cas walks through the door, and immediately stops in his tracks the second he sees Dean.

“Hey,” Dean says softly.

“Hello, Dean.”

Dean pats the spot next to him on the couch. “Wanna join me?”

Cas nods minutely and slowly floats over to where Dean is seated. Dean can tell that he’s nervous.

“I won’t bite,” Dean says with a smirk.

Cas rolls his eyes and looks away, but Dean can tell that he’s smiling.

Cas sits on the opposite end of the couch from Dean. Dean stands up and moves to sit right next to Cas, their knees touching.

“Is this okay?” Dean asks.

Cas nods in answer. Dean leans over and reaches his arm across the back of the couch, brushing his fingers against Cas’ shoulder. The tension slowly leaves Castiel’s body as he allows his shoulder to fall against Dean’s chest. Dean looks down at Cas, who is entirely too focused on the movie that Dean no longer cares about. His chest constricts when he realizes just how much he wanted this. Something he thought he could never have.

“Cas,” Dean whispers, loud enough to regain the angel’s attention.

Cas lifts his head to meet Dean’s eyes. “Yes?”

Dean’s eyes flick down to Castiel’s mouth. It would be so easy to…

“Come here.”

“I’m right here, De—” Castiel is cut off by Dean pressing their mouths together.

Dean can tell Cas doesn’t know what he’s doing, so he traces Castiel’s jawbone back until he’s able to gently cradle the back of Castiel’s skull and press closer into his body. As soon as he does that, Cas responds in kind, opening his mouth just enough to allow Dean to slide his tongue against Cas’ bottom lip. Castiel sighs at the contact and slips his arms around Dean’s hips. They move together in tandem, Castiel matching Dean’s every push and pull. Dean thinks to himself that he’s never been happier than in this moment.

But then Cas pushes Dean away.

“Cas, Cas buddy, I’m so sorry, I just—I’ve wanted this for so long. I shouldn’t have done that. I’ll just go.”

Cas grabs Dean’s arm before he can get up from the couch.

“We haven’t even gone on a date yet, Dean. We’re doing this entirely out of order. At least, according to what Sam told me.”

Once Dean catches up with what Cas is saying, he kisses him again, if only to get him to shut up about his brother. “Don’t listen to Sam ever again.”

Whatever Cas says next is muffled against Dean’s lips. Castiel doesn’t mind.

[perfectfeelings]

This is the strange way of the world, that people who simply want to love are instead forced to become warriors.

Lauren Oliver, Requiem

[lpdwillwrite4coffee]

I was in the middle of writing a chapter when I realized I'm going to be in the need for beta readers for........ um.......... possibly the spiciest book I've written to date

like

the spiciest book

I've EVER

WRITTEN

anyway, lemme know if y'all need some serious smut to read, I guess I've got you covered when this book is finished

[perfectquote]

When you love someone, when you care for someone, you have to do it through the good and the bad. Not just when you’re happy and it’s easy.

Lauren Olivier

[thehopefulquotes]

But things work out, you know. Even if it doesn’t feel OK for a long time, or even if it feels like things will never be OK again, (things) work out in the end.

Lauren Morrill

[thelaurenshippen]

ah yes, the sweet sting of rejection from a billion dollar corporation who believes that "action stories don't appeal to romance audiences", welcome back my old familiar friend

[perfeqt]

I wish that photographs were physical spaces, like tunnels; that you could crawl inside them and go back.

Lauren Oliver, Vanishing Girls