#Let’s make this a safe space

[theywhowriteandknowthings]

Warning: Discourse incoming.

I told myself I’d never get involved in these kinds of discussion because I’m a firm believer in “You do you/No Kink shaming etc.” But this one is a fairly serious one. It’s long, I’m not putting a cut in there, but please just hear me out.

There’s a disturbing trend in some fic writing I’ve noticed lately, and I have to say something about it.

We all know I’m a sucker for dark fics, be it CNC, dubcon, even non-con and horror elements, so I’m not here trying to tone/content police people’s writing. I want to make it very clear that this is not about vilifying people who write dark stuff, or things I’m not into. Hell, if I don’t want to read something, I check the tags and warnings and nope out before I get the ick. (As everyone should, there’s no point getting yourself wound up or triggered by content you can just simply scroll by.) 

However, this is where my current concern comes in. 

I’ve seen lots of very prominent writers not giving adequate warnings or disclaimers about the content they write. 

I’ve come across a lot of content where Joel (sorry buddy you’re the worst offender here, Ilu tho) is being labelled as a dom – and even more worryingly labelled as a soft dom – when the relationship is not about safe dom/sub relationships/kink. 

If Joel is spanking you so hard you can’t sit down in lieu of “teaching you a lesson” when there’s clear lack of enthusiastic consent (or often any consent at all) this is not s/m, this is abuse. 

If you’re having your readers receive physical or sexual punishment for actual life slip ups/non-role play scenarios, you’re glorifying abuse.

If you’re not labelling your fics correctly, you’re being negligent to your readers, and this should be a safe space for us all to read and create without being unduly triggered because we had inadequate or no forewarning.

For example:

Javi P kisses a girl, you make him pay for it in a way that is clearly pre-established (you have to spell it out people) as consensual in your relationship? Kink.

Joel spanking the shit out of you because a man flirted with you in a bar? Abuse. 

Din edging you until you cry because you were competing in how much you could make the other jealous in a pre-agreed dynamic? Kink. 

Joel denying you sex, or fucking you without prep/making you cum because you did something to annoy him/he doesn’t agree with and you aren’t enjoying yourself? Abuse.

I thought we were over this with the discourse that came about around 50 Shades, but clearly not. So please, tag your fics with appropriate/adequate warnings. As a survivor of sexual abuse and grooming, I need to know if your fic is going to contain and/or glorify these things. Again, I’m not saying don’t write these things, but it is your responsibility to tag adequately.

It’s a simple concept that I see applied across the board with age gaps and power dynamics, and most of the time people get it right. But when posts with 1k+ interactions are explicitly abusive, with no warnings other than S/M dynamics or “soft dom!Joel” when it’s anything but soft, aren’t just triggering to some, they’re harmful.

You can’t have a healthy relationship with Joel (again sorry buddy) if that relationship contains thinly veiled or brazen abusive elements. 

If you don’t know the difference between coercive behaviour, sexual or physical abuse, and safe, consensual kink, you need to educate yourself for your own benefit, and that of your readers. 

Feel free to reach out to chat with me about this, I’m not here to run and gun, but I will not tolerate any form of abuse or unkindness (on either side of the aisle) here.

[piecanl]

Do you think Tubbo would recognize the path Bad is going down, because it's one he's already walked down on?

This self-destructive behavior coming from a broken heart?

He hasn't seen Bad at his best, before the eggs got kidnapped. He's seen him a victim to grief more than a father. It's why the blue staining Bad's being isn't out of the ordinary.

But suddenly he starts carrying flowers to remind him of the love he lost, suddenly the void calls out his name even louder and suddenly Tubbo sees himself in the older demon.

And it's scary, because suddenly he sees what he has become, how it affects others.

And for the first time of many, he sees Bad walk down a road he's paved. For the first time of many, Bad is the one repeating Tubbo's mistakes.

[mergaliscious]

it's interesting how every trait that ppl use to demonize narcissists (except for the ridiculous ones to demonize that are actually harmless) is also very prevalent among the general population, especially among untraumatized and privileged individuals

like yeah, *some* narcissists are assholes, but the traits that make them assholes are extremely common among people who don't have NPD and were simply never told they have to care about other people

it's like neurotypicals/egotypicals will accept this sort of behavior *unless* it was developed as a coping mechanism. Like it's only bad if it's a symptom of mental illness. And fuck that.

[smokbeast]

Seeing allot of trans stuff lately. I don't do this but obviously trans people and all people of LGBTQ+ are welcome here!! If you are a terf or sick mf I will stomp on you till you die you are not welcome here.

Also merlot, frak and soma are trans! Allot of my ocs are of the queer skellies and my goobies alike so hehe :]

[butwhatifidothis]

It's been a few months since that whole thing with that Edelgang mod peddling genocide rhetoric, I wonder if they ever moved on from believing such horrific things and using such horrific rhetoric-

...so the answer to that is no. They have not.

[void-and-virtue]

Thinking about Neil’s anger. Thinking about Neil’s jealousy. Thinking about emotions beyond ugly and raw bleeding right out of him the second he lets his mask slip even just a millimeter.

Thinking about how what Neil perceives as miasma hanging over him acts like a breath of life to Andrew’s drowning. Thinking about how everyone expects them to cover each other in bile and guts until they’re both festering even worse than before and that’s not what happens. Thinking about how when they look at each other in the aftermath of their poking and prodding, it’s with the most rotten parts of themselves on display, but those parts have finally been drained and what’s left might just get the chance to heal.

[ghost-bxrd]

because apparently it bears repeating:

No ship/character bashing on this blog! You’re just tempting me to write exactly that content out of spite.

[flowercrowngods]

i don't know how to be merely acquaintances when we used to be friends. or i think we used to be. i don't know how to yearn for a simple hello when you've been heaping your affection on me months ago, and i don't know how to talk to you when you won't say anything. when suddenly it's all about me. you know i have nothing to say, you know my brain is void of everything but horribleness and i cannot tell you about my day because i don't even know about my day. i cannot tell you about my day when i know you won't listen, when i know you'll apply your philosophy to my world and don't believe me when i say that everything is terrible. i don't know how to be the person you seem to think i am, or the person you want in your life. i don't know if you want anyone else in your life now that you're in love and sappy, found another recipient for your affections, leaving me empty and wounded and yearning.

you said you missed me. said it many times, while i was gone. now i'm back, have been back, and i wonder how you missed me, why you missed me, when you won't talk to me. i think you mistook missing for worrying. i think you mistook caring for a feeling of obligation. i think you like missing me more than talking to me.

and i think i can't breathe with how much that hurts

[beneaththegildedmoon]

Very concerning when self-described radfems start showing up on my dash "Recommended based on [my] likes"

Which likes tumblr? Which likes?? Who do I need to block to fix my dash?

[yugiohz]

From someone who's working with (pre)teens to another, how do you deal with kids that won't stop challenging you? I know there's a part of it I can't do anything about cause it's normal for their age and also just his personality, but I also think it's my fault he's behaving like this cause as long as it's not disruptive I usually don't mind giving them some minutes to be silly/chat in class (in fact sometimes I let them 'distract me' between tasks when I can tell they are tired). And this one kid keeps being kind of rude to me (ignoring direct questions and corrections, telling me I say things wrong and saying they are going to ask another older & male colleague to 'correct me', etc) and idk I know part of it it's normal for the age & the other kids don't act like that so things don't really escalate, but I fear they will if I don't stop this behavior somehow :/ I was thinking of having a conversation with him at the end of class next week (cause maybe he's just trying to be funny/the class clown?), and if that doesn't work call his mom but idk if that's the best way to approach this.

Sorry for this long message btw 😅 Thanks in advance for any answer you can give me, even if it's just to say you also don't know what to do! Have a great day & weekend!!

teaching is a communal task that includes parents, teachers, mentors etc., a very challenging child is hard to deal with if you try to sort this out by yourself.

however I wouldn’t reach out to his parents right away, talk to his other teachers first; how does he behave ? are their similarities or big differences? In which subjects or times of the day does he stand out the most? Try to figure out as colleagues what this child’s issue might be, imo it’s rarely a personal, petty grudge, remember not to conflate behavior with personality, most kids aren’t that bad they just have some issue that they cannot articulate lmao

That being said, you can be kind all you want but that doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t draw boundaries, you HAVE to demand respect, it is YOUR lesson and classroom, feel free to remind them that your kindness and lax attitude are conscious choices that you make & that you can also make other choices!!! General advice it’s always better to start out very strict and to gradually let loose, it’s normal for teens to test their boundaries, be patient but also be sure to keep your boundaries clear, the misogynistic remark is a no-go omg get his ass ❗️❗️❗️

[guccibootyellow]

I don’t usually reply to stuff like this but I’ve had a couple of replies in general and I’ve had people message me privately that I’ve ignored. I’m only going to say this once (just because I know what the su and bellow fandom can be like and I really don’t want to get into it or start anything).

I’m well aware, canonically, this may be the case but coming onto a bellow blog where I’ve made it clear I hc them as a couple and all the scenarios that this might include, I don’t appreciate being told I’m being icky or gross or wrong (as mentioned in private messages bc of what I’ve shared) for a harmless hc that you can by all means scroll past or unfollow me for. Let’s not do this please, guys.

If I don’t personally agree with someone, I don’t make people feel bad or message them to specifically disagree with personal hc’s or perspectives. I just leave it be because it doesn’t affect me and it doesn’t matter (they’re not real people; it’s just harmless fun). Please give me the same courtesy and stop replying or messaging me just because you don’t agree with me.

Feel free to mute, block, or ignore. But please don’t start making moral comments or messages on my posts or to me personally just because I hc something differently to you or express my ships differently. You know I’m a bellow shipper; this is what this blog has always been. You know I post or talk about nsfw, seriously and as a joke. Please don’t make comments when you know this is the case.

I don’t want to argue; I don’t mean to offend. It’s just that I’ve seen this happen a lot with the su fandom and I’ve been in multiple fandom spaces enough to know that this doesn’t need to happen. I’ve also been in this fandom enough to see how su fans treat each other.

Like I said, if you don’t like me or my opinions, feel free to ignore me. But don’t come to me personally and start making comments. I’m not sure what you get out of it but I’ve had this a few times now (not just this reply) when I don’t usually so please respect my space. I’m respecting yours.

Thank you so much 😮‍💨🙏��

[needylittlegirl]

theres a 99% chance we’re gonna move so i have to start packing little things now cause it makes the transition easier but i hate it i dont want to

[marc--chilton]

i literally know jack shit about mgv stuff but i followed you a while ago and now i read every house mgv post that crosses my dash.

it's a steep learning curve lemme tell you

<-is having the asexual time of their life reading this shit. keep up the good work

AOUGHAJGHSAJGAH i'm gonna be so deadass with you fam i still kind of dont get mgv stuff because there's no like. omegaverse tutorial. and like 90% of the ppl who do indulge in it are for the porn which is Fine but What About The Other Stuff (even on the topic of genitals i'm confused because the rules are made up and the amount of times i have to suspend my disbelief EVEN MORE because a writer is just making The Gender Binary 2 is AAHGH IM YELLING??? IS AN OMEGA DUDE'S ASSHOLE A CLOACA??? HOW DOES IT WORK???? i need an in depth autopsy of an omega man i'm thinking too hard about it and Do Not understand)

AND DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON BETAS NO ONE GAF ABOUT THE MIDDLE CHILD OF THE SECONDARY GENDER TRINARY SMH...... sometimes they're just like a stand-in for the average person outside of omegaverse which is like kind of boring but idk what else to think about them either!!!!

my omegaverse rules (that i guess i. have now) are still coming together but i'm being so deadass when i say i will answer any question anyone might have to the best of my ability/brainpower. no stupid questions. i'm the ceo of house omegaverse and i'm running for president

[acekindaneat]

I LOVE your art so much dude. What's your thoughts on serirei cooking together?

thank you!! and as much as i love the idea of them cooking together, i think it would be safer better if only one of them cooks and the other is just there in the kitchen as well for company. because it could either end up with them working really well or end up with them bumping into each other a lot and something gets burnt and a lot of yelling happens (definitely not projecting rn). so i think they'd decide on who cooks or just order takeout if they're too tired to cook.

anyway here's a scanned sketch for u :]