#Like I'm sorry but there are so many people discouraged and turning away from Fandom

[b-rainlet]

Maybe the reason Fandom is dying is because y'all are trying to push out the weirdos and freaks who make up the majority of Fandom

[babyjakes]

✨ an update on the 5k headcanon party ✨

hey friends, sorry for sort of disappearing during the party. i have some stuff i want to get off my chest and discuss with you all, so i just thought i'd make a little post before getting back to writing.

responding to criticism | i've received feedback letting me know that some of you are disappointed about me writing headcanons for this event, as opposed to blurbs/full fics. i accept this criticism and understand where people are coming from, but i just want to say that the point of me doing headcanons has been so that i can get to more requests. informal headcanon writing is quicker/easier and allows me to engage with more friends who want to get in on the fun. for monthly blurb nights, i mostly do formal blurb/fic writing, but this makes it so that i can only pick a very small number of requests. for this event, i wanted to give everyone a chance to participate. i will keep in mind moving forward that many people prefer formal writing as opposed to informal bullet points.

discouragement within the fandom | i logged off last night because this event has felt difficult and way less fun than events prior. i've spoken off and on lately about the deterioration of the chris evans fandom and i definitely think that's playing a role in my feelings of frustration and loneliness. so many of my mutuals/friends are just gone. and my blog lacks the sense of community it once had, which makes it much harder for me to organize and run events like this. i got so many requests that clearly didn't pay attention to any of the rules or guidelines; i had to just toss an alarming amount of them. it's just shown me how writing and sharing fanfic has really turned into a supply/demand system, where readers just send request after request to any writer they can without paying any attention to who the writer is, their rules and boundaries, the events they happen to be running at the moment, etc. and it didn't use to feel this way. i used to have people excited to do these things with me, excited to participate in my events, excited to hear about my series and au's, excited and inspired to create alongside of me. i miss that desperately. i don't know how to get it back.

moving forward | i'm feeling a little better now after taking some time away. i'm going to try to finish and post some more headcanons, though i don't know when i'll be completely finished. here's what i'm asking for in terms of support as i try to stay positive and passionate in this space: remember the importance of feedback and reblogs. reach out if you want to be friends/mutuals. be patient with me.

thanks for reading, if you took the time to do so.

[wordthieve]

Hi! 10, 16 & 50! 💖

Hello lovely @smblmn - thank you for the asks!

10. How do you decide what to write?

It's just a feeling; if I can picture a scene, and it doesn't swoop right out of my head again, then I need to write down the bones of it. Whether it turns into a fic, or I end up using it as part of something else, depends on how tenacious it is. And sometimes it's just something I want to read, and I have to be the change I want to see in the world 😆

16. What’s an AU you would love to read (or have read and loved)?

There are so many that I've read and loved. I get so blown away with the talent of the writers in this fandom. This sounds like a backhanded compliment, and I really don't mean it as one, but sometimes I'll think something isn't my jam, and then a fic comes along and just changes my mind - that's a special thing. A very rushed and uncomprehensive list of some of these favourites include: firefighterPatrick in Strike Anywhere, or SeparatedDavid&Patrick in happy golden days of yore, or witchDavid in Witch's Brew.

50. Answer any question of your choice, or talk about anything you want to talk about!

Ooh.

Every single time I post a fic, I want to fill the author's notes with caveats and hedging and apologies: this isn't as polished as I wanted it to be; I know there are time inaccuracies, but I couldn't keep them straight in my head; I'm sorry for all the times I repeat myself; I'm sorry I'm not a better writer.

None of this, btw, is fishing. I genuinely feel like someone is going to point things out and I want to get ahead of them and say "I know! I know! I'm bummed about it too!"

So the restraint that keeps me from putting all my inner doubts and insecurities in the author's notes, letting them actively attempt to discourage people from reading, is immense.

I'm not sure if this is just a confession or if it'll actually hit a nerve with someone else (oh look, I'm about to apologise for the QUESTION I ASKED MYSELF). BUT. This fandom has absolutely made me a more conscientious, more thoughtful writer, and I love it. So instead of apologising more, I shall thank all the comment-leavers, all the wonderful cheerleaders and the devoted readers. You are lovely. Thank you.

Ask me things!

[yandere-romanticaa]

Tips on how to start your own blog! 💌💋

Since many people have requested this, I'm gonna show you some of the tips that helped me and my blog expand! Feel free to take some of these with a grain of salt, there's always room for improvement! Most of these are pretty basic, but I still think they're worth mentioning. And now, staring with:

1. Grammar.

I can't tell you just how important grammar is, oh gosh. I've clicked away from so many fan fics because the grammar was that awful, sorry not sorry. If you're not a native English speaker writing can be a good way to practice your grammar but if you want it to look okay, there are apps out there that can help you spell check most things, or just do what I usually do - when I'm unsure how to type a specific word I just look it up on Google, and Google fixes it for me, and after writing it down so many times it sticks in my memory. This process is a bit slow though, but it does work, at least for me!

I'm not saying you're not allowed to make mistakes at all, that's not true! I make them all the time (heck, I definitely made some in this very post), but if they're few and far in between, people will be much more forgiving!

2. Tags.

Tag your stuff, tag your fics, tag your characters, tag your fandoms, tag everything! Not only will this help you clean up your blog, but your stuff has a higher chance of showing up in the main feed AND it'll be easier for other people to navigate through your blog and find the stuff they want to find.

3. Be very clear with your rules, and put them somewhere visible.

It is what it is, a lot of people just don't read the bio and that's a fact. You have a better chance of it being spotted if you pin it right at the top of your blog, even if the lazy people who don't like to read that stuff might get confused and think it's a new post but haha, you tricked them.

But yes, rules. What fandoms do you write for? How many requests are you willing to take? How many characters can people send in, so on so forth. What is something that you won't tolerate being sent in your inbox? Be very careful with this! And also, limiting your requests is actually a smart decision, don't be like me who piles them up! I have fortunately gotten better with this though!

4. Pick an aesthetic.

Okay, hear me out - people like things that are pretty and polished, we all know this. So, try making your blog look like that! Choose an aesthetic and try sticking to it, I was surprised to see just how much this helps! Also, decorate your blog by reblogging other aesthetics, moodboards, quotes, pictures, anything!

5. Don't be scared to try something new!

"Oh no, this is gonna suck!"

"No one will read this!"

STOP, I WILL bonk you over the head if I hear anyone talk about this! No matter how cringe you think your idea is, trust me, someone is going to like it and later, that someone will elaborate why they like it and that turns into a full on domino effect! I've written stuff which I thought wasn't that good and no one would like it but jokes on me, most of them turned out to be my most popular post! Do not be discouraged if someone talks down to you (or if you talk down to yourself) at least try. Even if it does flop, you can always try again.

6. Talk to other creators!

I've noticed that a lot of people here are super shy to talk to their favorite content creators, or just others in general! While that can be a little wholesome, don't let that stop you from expanding and potentially learning something new, or just getting inspiration! I literally don't know a single person that would mind if you just sent a random "Hi!" in their private messages, if anything, you might just brighten up their day, I'm dead serious! Talk to other people, discuss what to write, exchange ideas!!

7. Reblog other fics!

By doing this, you are helping other blogs out by giving them exposure, and they could help you out in the exact same way! Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not encouraging you to make friends and interact with posts simply to gain exposure but it is what it is, that's a side affect of this! Besides, people will have more stuff to go through on your blog, and they can find more while they're at it! How cool is that?!

8. (OPTIONAL) Don't be shy to open up!

I understand that some people are very private, and that is perfectly fine! That is a very wise choice to stay private as much as possible on the internet, but in my opinion it's also okay to say a few things about yourself too! After a while, people get a little curious on the personalities of their favorite content creators, and by opening up you can connect better with your audience! You start to understand them and why they followed you to begin with, and by doing so you can see what they like and dislike, and what you can write to make them happy in the future!

9. Have fun.

Your passion for writing will bleed into your craft, even if it doesn't seem like it when you start! If you truly care about the characters and the story you're writing about, it's impossible to hide it, even behind a screen! People will be dazzled by your ideas and they'll want more! Be mindful of yourself however, and don't go overboard. If life is getting to you, or you just don't have the energy, take breaks and unwind. Come back when you can, everyone will be patiently waiting for you. Writing, especially fanfiction, should be a fun and light-hearted experience, it's something that should come from the heart and pure passion! At the end of the day it's all just harmless fun that's meant to be enjoyed by everyone!

I think that's it! I can't seem to think of anything else but these are the things that kept me going for so long! If anyone else has any tips, don't hesitate to share! Thank you for reading my darlings!

[huntypastellance]

I'm sorry I'm trying to figure out what the frick "Shaladins" are? I tried scrolling through the tag and I'm still really confused and you are one fo the main people I see posting in the tag? Can you please explain to me what exactly is going down rn and what exactly a Shaladin is?

I gotta set up a glossary page for the vld fandom too at this point. Half my inbox is literally “what does X mean?”.

Too many terms being slung around……

Anyway:

Shaladin: any shipper who ships Shiro with one of the other paladins* (Keith, Lance, Hunk or Pidge). 

*Allura’s in a weird grey area because she was considered to be Space Mom & an adult up until her VA confirmed that she was a teenager. The Shiro/Allura shippers are heavily split between Shallurantis (antis who make excuses to ship it despite Allura being an “underaged teenager”), Shitllurans (a subset of shallurantis who are the worst of the worst & turned on any shaladins who tried to help them after Allura’s “age reveal” happened & Shallura became a “problematic ship”) & the actual Shallura shippers.

Anti: self-proclaimed name for fans who use social justice terms & a facade of fighting against online abuse/predators all so their favorite ship can win a ship war. Often harasses the staff of the canon or encourages harassment of the staff. Never calls out the abusive maniacs in their own community even if they commit actual crimes. Favors an overly fluffy sparkly pastel aesthetic for their blogs, trashy memes & sucking up to minor celebrities completely unrelated to the canon’s production in order to boost their own ship. Basically a fujoshi stereotype who accuses other shippers of being fujoshi stereotypes & refuses to acknowledge that they themselves are fujoshi stereotypes. Accuses other people of sexualizing minors while they themselves consume/create porn of their own ship (even if the characters are minors).

Klantis: antis who specifically ship Keith/Lance, aka Klance. They manage to keep their ship at its #1 spot on Fandometrics by spamming Klance & crosstagging it everywhere. Every time a rival ship creeps up the rankings, they double down on the spam & start a new wave of anti-ship harassment to discourage those shippers.

Leakira: AU made by klantis after s7 dropped & they realized that Klance would not be canon. It’s a “re-write” of Voltron where the supporters for Leakira actually believe that they can buy all the rights to Voltron in just 10 years. There is no plot or story, just an “lgbtq+ poc” version of the Voltron characters where they are “extra” POC & have “extra” POC names (Leandro for Lance & Akira for Keith). Broganes & Shiro/Adam are also things that feature in this AU & Pidge is “re-imagined” to be Jewish so she’s “more ethnic”, despite the fans accusing her Jewish voice actress to be a “white d*ke”. Shiro is re-named to be Hachiko & is now Keith/Akira’s adopted father & the only “straight” characters are the villains & the parents (because this is literally a strawman caricature of how life works). Akira & Leandro have nothing in common with Keith & Lance other than color themes & similar jokes. Their polar opposite personalities & relationship to their canon counterparts is another sign that klantis never truly cared about the characters or Voltron’s story in the first place.

Broganes: An AU where Shiro is Keith’s adoptive brother/father/uncle despite them having 2 entirely different families in canon. Named because of early fanon where Keith is Japanese & has the surname “Kogane” like in previous iterations of Voltron. Often buys into racist stereotypes regarding Asians & generic sitcom tropes regarding sibling relationships. Most often used to get Shiro away from Keith as a romantic interest so Keith can be shipped with Lance. Allura was paired with Shiro as “space mom”, but was later replaced with Adam. Keith is often characterized as a whiny emo younger brother who is bratty towards exasperated big brother Shiro & they pull pranks on each other (usually taken from lame Vines). They are also shown to be relatively uncaring of each other & distant, so that Lance can easily worm his way into Keith’s life as a boyfriend. AU first created by a 14 year old girl who’s obsessed with her sister, based the AU off of her idealized romanticized relationship with her sister & used to draw fanart for a R-18 Nitro+Chiral BL game (a company famous for games with gore, rape, bestialiaity, mechaphilia & general mindfuckery).

Dirty Laundry: the most popular & overrated Klance fic on ao3, often lauded to be the peak of Klance fics by klance shippers. Its popularity stemmed from popular klantis boosting it on their blogs only to shred it apart when DL’s Lance’s autistic brother appeared in it. The klantis ripped it apart for being racist, ableist, sexist, etc. & the author orphaned the fic after completing it due to the harassment she was getting from both sides (as shippers hated it too because of how hard the klance shippers were pushing it). Most infamous for a scene at the end where Keith & Lance danced to the song Gasolina, literally the least romantic song you could ever dance to. Popularized many of the tropes commonly seen in Klance fics. Was written before Lance was revealed to be Cuban, so DL has Mexican Lance instead.

There are more terms to be added, but I’ll make a proper page for it & add them later.

[dimples-of-discontent]

(part 1) im gonna preface by saying sorry if you've answered this before or it's obvious, but I wanted your opinion on something. I can't really read Misha at all when it comes to Destiel. I wanted to know if you think Misha plays Cas as being in love with Dean? Do you think Misha sees that relationship or is too in the moment to view it the way we do (similar to Jensen). I'm asking because I know he has gotten questions about it before and something that is obvious 9/10 times when he answers...

(part 2) is that he turns it into something sexual. I know he obviously wont say either way whether for higher up backlash or simply because he’s Misha, but I never got if that is just his wink wink to the fans because he’s supportive of our beliefs or he thinks that we only see sex so he’s like yeah perverts. He genuinely seems insightful at times and I do love the way he has described their relationship on several occasions. i know a few years ago there was a moment where, if i remember…

(part 3) correctly might have been one of the only times he answered without really joking? he seemed incredibly in tune with the audience talking about it but there seemed to be a sad/awkward air to his words. most of the things i have seen are from a few years ago though (pre-season 11) and we have gotten some incredibly deep destiel scenes since then so I guess im asking if you think he sees it, if so, when he might have started, if he thinks it now, if he thinks its just sexual, ect. thanks!“

Hi Nonnie,

First off, it sounds like you actually know a whole heck of a lot about Misha’s take on Destiel so I’m flattered that you would ask for my opinion on it too. I haven’t formulated a whole post about it, though I have reblogged and commented on some really great ones that I will also link you to here. 

I think it’s important to distinguish between Misha’s take on whether it is an intentional part of the show (do the writers write it that way? do he and Jensen play it that way?) vs. his response to fanfic and fandom commentary on Destiel. About the second, he tends to wear his snarky persona and call us perverts and joke about how “me and Jensen write most of that stuff anyway.” That’s easier. It’s a deflection. If faced with a question about intentionality and whether he thinks that the show has been amping up the romance tropes, it’s far safer to instead talk about the fan response and how “I would never have imagined seeing myself depicted giving so many blowjobs.” How much Cas fanart have you looked up Misha? FFS! 

So when, as you say, he immediately jumps to making things sexual I don’t at all think that it’s because he thinks that accurately reflects the way the character is written or how he plays him. After all, as recently as S10 he had Cas stare at a porn site and say, bemusedly, “What is ‘Fortune Nookie’?” (10x03). In 13x21 Cas was obviously embarrassed both by and about Gabriel and Rowena. And, as we learned from S12, the sacred oath that forbids human-angel sex must be very much on his mind. Now, some of us are of the opinion that this season in particular has been revealing Cas to have some understanding of or interest in sex even as an angel but YMMV on that one. But it’s safe to say that no matter how many jokes Misha makes about Cas being a creeper and perving on Dean he knows that that isn’t in the show. He’s responding to a particular, over-exaggerated fan version of Destiel. And he’s doing it because it’s safe.

It’s actually Misha’s standard deflection now because, in my opinion, not only do they want to avoid pissing people off but they are all bound by NDAs (non-disclosure agreements) of some kind when it comes to the actual show…but not when it comes to the fans. So he can say whatever he likes about fanfic or fanart or “what goes on on oil rigs” and neither risk offending people as deeply (since he’s clearly joking around) nor violating any contracts. I don’t know if he really thinks that all fanworks are all about sex. I think….perhaps. And, honestly, given the kinds of things people bring to cons for them to sign I can’t blame him. The linked post also shows how totally ok both he and Jensen are with smutty fanart, as does the infamous Cockles video that I’m adding here because, well, why not:

If you can’t hear the audio it’s Jensen describing two different pieces of fanart that they signed, one of which they drew penises on the other of which was already nsfw that he captioned, and laughing about it and draping himself all over Misha ew. 

But back to your original question, which was whether Misha plays Cas as being in love with Dean or sees that relationship as inherently romantic. I’m actually just going to flat out answer: he does. Misha is an intelligent and sensitive reader (which is not to say the other actors, especially Jensen, are not but that Misha approaches the script as a reader in a way I don’t think Jensen does because his process is so different). I believe Misha has always seen that in the character. As @amwritingmeta​ discusses in this epic post on Jensen, Destiel, and Dean’s bisexuality:

“Misha started out talking rather openly about how Destiel is an intentional part of the narrative - almost going so far as to get pissy about how this was even a question, if rumours are to be believed - then less openly, until he, as early as last year, was scuttling around the Destiel question like it was on fire. Why? I would venture a complete guess and say that it’s most likely to do with all the negativity thrown his way whenever he’s engaged with it, accusations of queerbaiting flying at him and the show, when this couldn’t be farther away from what they’ve actually been doing all these years, delivering a narrative the likes of which has never been seen on television before.”

Comments he made about his initial decisions, staring at Jensen “as if I was looking into his soul”, and the teasing that he garnered, “We’re missing the gay angel,” indicate that he–and Jensen, fwiw–were fully aware of the homoerotic aspects of the character and his portrayal.

I think that the convention clip you’re thinking of might be this one from NJcon 2013 where Misha first says that he ought not to talk about it but then goes on to say that there is a “very profound bond” but that “I will leave you to read into that what you will” and remarks that he doesn’t want to be accused of queerbaiting, which he felt was unfair because he is such a supporter for the LGBTQ community overall. He’s absolutely sad there. He concludes by saying “It’s a lot of things. It’s deep and meaningful, you know. Is it love? Probably. What does that mean? It’s a million different things. I don’t know” which then becomes a joke about “you know, my boyfriend is a wavelength of celestial intent.” He ends by saying outright that “They love each other” before adding “but it’s purely sexual.” That backtracking is frustrating but totally characteristic because otherwise it’s just too definitive. (I’m gonna keep my tinhat in the closet on this one but I can’t help but murmur about actor bleed.)

By 2016, at DCcon, he was delighted to get out of the Destiel question by having West throw balls at him. He talks about how he was discouraged from even mentioning that relationship when he came on the show and how he then flouted that rule because he didn’t see the point. The implication, though, is that he now does see why he shouldn’t discuss it and I can only imagine that a lot of it has to do with the vitriol that often came his way. Most of his answer is a joke on this panel, “How would you approach it if it happened” becomes “face-forward” and “How would you set the scene” becomes a seduction joke. Rich and Rob are there to help out and keep the carnival atmosphere going. (Cockles sidebar: I had never noticed that he answers the question of “How would you set the scene” with “In another language; in Russian.” CAN YOU SAY ACCENT KINK??) That’s a huge difference from 2013′s serious answer, though it’s not easy to tell whether that change is due to something contractural about the show or Misha’s own desire to avoid upset. I kind of think the second.

His most recent comments are from Seacon 2018 where he says that he could “go on and on and on” with his thoughts about Destiel and that he and Jensen do have conversations about it. He again uses it as an opportunity to talk about the fandom response and reflect on changes in attitude within the fandom not on the show…which is interesting, of course, but not really what we are fishing for. As he says at the end he gets in trouble with someone no matter what he says on the topic. And then he will deflect with a joke (”Jensen and I don’t write a ton of Destiel fanfic”) before giving us a tiny glimmer of hope (”because we live it all the time”). The whole cast is certainly much more open about it than they used to be, even Jensen. And I’m not sure whether or not that can be attributed to the deeper Destiel scenes you mention or not. I do think it would become much harder for them to deny the existence of a romantic element and that the way they are coping with that is pure humor.

I hope that helps a little. It’s a very complex question, since it’s bound up with so many other things about the show and about Misha’s character and his relationship to the fans. (I have tags for both “misha and destiel” and “misha about destiel” if you want more.) I agree with you that he is the most in tune with the fan view of the relationship and supportive of it as an interpretation. I think he’s either not legally able to say more about it or, perhaps, is too conditioned not to by previous negative reactions from the fans. His jokes that make it sexual, or refer to fandom and not the show, are simply a clever deflection and one which he does much better than either Jared or Jensen (though Jensen has learned from Misha and gotten markedly less defensive in general, e.g. “There will now be fanfiction written about what goes on on oil rigs” “Don’t let us down”).

My gut feeling is that, yes, Misha has seen the romantic element since Day 1 and that lines like “I love you. I love all of you” and “I know who you love” confirm for him that it is there for Cas. I think that he supports that reading of their relationship but we will likely never get to hear him say that…unless something miraculous happens on the show so that he feels free to.

[qqueenofhades]

I'm asking this out of curiosity, how can you just let go of a ship like captain swan? you were a hardcore captain swan shipper and you were part of their journey from the very beginning and now you barely care about them if at all. it's just I don't know i thought you were staying till the end & would even have a hard time saying goodbye to them after the show ends. sorry if this came off as rude I'm totally just curious just cuz you were so invested for years now you don't care anymore

Well, honestly, I have discussed this subject before, and tried to be straight about it, and I’m sure you didn’t mean to be rude and are genuinely curious. Still, though, it’s a bit discouraging?

I’m still here. I’m still active on tumblr, I still reblog CS gifs fairly regularly, and I know what’s going on in the show, and I’m looking forward to the wedding. I’ve made several long posts on my process of stepping back from the show and why that happened. It’s certainly not that I just “let go” overnight. It’s been going on for almost a year, and it has not in the least been easy for me. CS got me back into fandom after a long time away. I don’t need to prove my bona fides as a shipper to anyone; I’ve shipped them since 2012, been on tumblr for them and an incredibly active and prolific fandom member since 2013, written multiple novel-length fics and countless drabbles for them (and am still working on TDH, which is my second-longest project EVER behind The North Remembers), answered thousands of questions, written just as many specs and metas and spoiler and roundup posts, went to my first ever con (way out of my comfort zone!) to meet Colin, and still have many dear friends who have changed my life. I don’t ever regret any of the time I did spend on them. I have loved them for a long time and I still care. I just am engaging with it differently, and I have had to do that for several reasons.

As noted, I was super invested during season 5. SUPER. It got to the place where I was thinking about it almost every waking moment, even as I was trying to adjust to a new city and country and degree study and the ups and downs that came with that. My mood was totally dictated by spoilers or theories or how people were reacting to them or how I was going to have to hold things together during an angsty time with all the people I had to comfort/talk through the pain of the Dark Ones/Underworld arc. It took a lot out of me, to be honest. I couldn’t even enjoy the show quite the same way because I was so dependent on it all working out and the effect this had on my ability to deal with things. I’ve always been honest about my years and years of anxiety and depression and what I’ve had to do with that, and the show was something for me to focus on and to try to get me out of my head (again, during an otherwise stressful year). Honestly, that level of addiction/dependence isn’t healthy for anything, especially what is, at the end of the day, just a TV show. The s5 finale burned me the hell out after all that pain with pretty much nothing to show for it, and I struggled over the summer with the thought that I was finally having to withdraw from it in bits and pieces. I watched 6x01, but… nope. That pretty much put the lid on it that I wasn’t prepared to go back at the same level again, and probably wouldn’t be.

As noted, and as anyone who has read my fics can attest, I have no problem with angst. I love angst, even long-term and complex angst. I love serious and dark and morally challenging stories, they are some of my favorites. But as I have also said, I do have a problem when that angst results, to my view, in no measurable story progress and the endless repetition of long-played-out character arcs. I just watched CS struggle to be together for all of season 5. I don’t want to watch more of Emma Has Walls or Killian Keeps Secrets Because He’s Guilty or Oh Look, They’re Separated and Will Die. It’s just… not interesting to me. So I still love them as a ship, but I’ve almost completely disengaged from wanting or expecting canon to provide any kind of satisfying or well-thought-through fulfillment for them. I’ve written tons and tons of fics (and novels). I write all the time. I analyze things for a living. I am an English tutor and a history teacher. I’m a storyteller. I have spent a long time with these characters and coming up with and thinking through what I want to see for them. That doesn’t mean I’m Better ™ than the writers, but it also means that any effort I put in feels like way more than they are, and that’s not a fun or stimulating way to engage with a fandom.

I don’t do hate-watching, and I certainly am not about to rain on the parade of people who do still love it as much as ever (which as I have said many times, I am happy for them). So it’s just better to focus on things that I DO actively enjoy and which I find rewarding and engaging. This year has been incredibly tough for me since about last November and the Orange Nazi’s election (and before that, really). I don’t need to put my limited and valuable free time into things that are just going to drain me or make me annoyed more than I already am. Fandom, once again and though it sometimes can be anything but, is supposed to be fun. And I am trying to space out my interests and have several different places to turn to for inspiration, rather than putting all my eggs in one basket. As noted, it’s just not healthy, and I have to take care with that.

As also noted, I was truly happy about the CS engagement and I will watch their wedding and probably reblog a lot of gifs from it. But I can look at said gifs and enjoy their cute moments and feel as if I’m getting what I need to, rather than having to slog through all of season 6. And honestly, if OUAT is losing people like me – a super, SUPER dedicated fan with years of investment and high-level commitment and fandom participation and creation – it doesn’t take too much guesswork to see that it’s probably losing regular viewers like crazy as well, and that’s why the ratings have taken a nosedive. I know I’m not alone, because I know a lot of fellow fandom people who just can’t muster up the same level of investment, and we’ve all paid our dues. We don’t have to “prove” anything or get caught in the inevitable “Who’s a Real/Better Fan” drama that just makes the whole cycle even more draining. We’re just engaging how we choose to, over a fictional narrative that has meant a ton to us, but has also changed, and we have as well.

So yeah. I still care. I am still a fan. But I think it’s important to remember, as always, that fandom is a FICTIONAL space, and that the people who engage in it are real, with all the hangups and changes of interest and needs and triggers and emotional reasons that go along with that, and we only interact with each other on a very limited basis through tumblr, which is obviously not face to face and where we curate the content we want to post/focus/present. It’s not objective, and it’s fun and amazing and collaborative, but it can also provide a somewhat limited perspective of who people are, what they’re doing, and why they decide to move on from something. So yeah, that’s where I am.

:)