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bakatenshii · 4 years

Text

Grapefruit

Oikawa Tooru x reader (haikyuu!!)

word count: 2.3k

TW: 18+, lemon, wattpad, crack

A/N: I’m so sorry. This is actually a joke, a parody, I promise, it’s written like this on purpose for the collab. Terrible (or lack entirely of) grammar, dialogue so cheesy I threw up multiple times in my mouth, too many specifications of shades of the colour pink. For @undermattsun’s whorehouse wattpad garbage fire collab. I’m so sorry.

grape·fruit

/ˈɡrāpˌfro͞ot/

In the world of fandom (check out fan fiction, fanfics, or fics), a grapefruit is a story which consists of sexual explicit themes in bizarre situations.

An orange-twinged pink, almost coral.

haikyuu series!! :3

disclaimer: haikyuu does NOT belong 2 me. Or else I would make XXXX go w/ XXXX ;)

༻✧༺

𝑝𝑎𝑝𝑒𝑟 𝑏𝑎𝑔𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑐 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑠

𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑝𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑠

༻✧༺

“hurry up y/n!!!” - i remove my skullcandies out my ears, hearing my best friend sunnie(with an ie! not y!) shout to me from down the hall.

flipping my baby pink (NOT cotton candy pink! god there’s a difference, get it right. last week ash-lee with her stupid bleach blonde hair called it cotton candy pink and I wanted to kill her) hair behind my shoulder, i skipped down the lockers.

i was in my best outfit, checkered pink and white (bubblegum pink, this time) leg warmers with my matching pink + white skirt and white denim jacket with a pink butterfly bedazzled on the back. i saw paris hilton in it on her myspace too, so you could say im pretty trendy.

not like the other girls, like brittney (with her dark hair with a blue streak with a puppy shaped purse she swears is designer.) or ash-lee with her stupid ugly blonde hair that’s deffo fake. oh i already said that

anyways

it’s just an average tuesday morning, and i’m just your not-so-average girl. my name’s (y/n) (l/n) and im (age) years old. my best friends are sunnie, rachelle, and meeky. oh, and lindt, sometimes, when she’s not too busy with trying to save the world from global warming.

i’m on my way to p.e. which UGH is my least fav class, who even came up with it? but at least there’s the hottie oikawa tooru-sama in my class (ha! eat that ash-lee + brittney) and all the girls luuuuurv him. he’s soooo hot i bet he has abs

(brianna with the ugly hair who wears green shoes with red socks said she saw him change once and she totally saw his 8pack but she’s a liar so i dont believe her)

(even tho he tooootally has one)

i was on way just skipping down the hall to go to p.e. when someone crashes into me from behind.

‘-u-GH!’ i fall.

‘hey!!!!’ i turned around to yell at who’s bumping into me-

it was oikawa tooru-sama!! the most popular boy in school!!! i felt like i was in a dream i pinched my hand but... it hurts!!! this isn’t a dream!!! the oikawa tooru-sama just crashed into me!!! with his body!!! his shoulder touched me!!!!!

he turn and looks at me and... my heart stops. i think im dying omgomgomg

‘a-are you okay (y/n)-chan?’ he asks me and holds his hand out.

i cant believe it. the oikawa tooru-sama is giving me his hand to hold?!?! is this heaven???

‘i-i-‘ i stammer. i’m so shocked i swear my face is beat red. ‘i-i’m ok.’

i was too scared to hold his hands because mine were so sweaty from seeing him this upclose. i stand up and dust my knees because i want him to think i’m tough. that’s right. oikawa tooru-sama is a professional vball player! (v for volley-ball) he’s not going to like some dumb average weak normal crybaby girl.

‘ok. see ya in class!’ he smiles and waves at me before walking down the hall, shooting me his signature smile. the one that makes flowers bloom around him and glitters around his whole body.

h-how did he know? did he just say in class??? the oikawa tooru-sama knows who i am???

i take out my phone to frantically text my bffs (sunnie, rachelle, meeky and lindt) and see the group chat had some unread new messages. i click open it.

(beep)

𝚋𝚕@𝚑𝚔𝚞𝚐𝟶𝟶: omgzzzz i juss saw tsukki-sama xDDD

𝕣𝕒𝕖𝕖𝕖𝕖𝕩𝕠𝕩𝕠: STDU XDD wut wuzz he wearin?!? hes sooooo hawt oh em geez

tsukki-sama, aka tsukishima kei-sama, is the hot blondie in the other class’s vball team. rachelle and sunnie are sooo in love with him, but i don’t blame them. he’s soooo tall, taller than oikawa tooru-sama even. (but that doesn’t matter because oikawa tooru-sama has the prettiest smile in the world and no one’s seen tsukki-sama smile like... since he came outta the womb)

i quickly type out my txt because this is more important than what the blonde vball star is wearing.

(beep)

𝖗𝖆𝖜𝖗𝖇4𝖐4: guizzzzz guizzzz GUIZE!!!! GUEZZ WUT JUSS HAPPND!!

𝖗𝖆𝖜𝖗𝖇4𝖐4: u’ll nv beliv it!!!!! omGZZZZZ IM LAIK DYINN XDDDDDDD TT_TT

ｓｋ８ｅｒｇ１ｒｌ: omgawd wuuuut

ｓｋ８ｅｒｇ１ｒｌ: w8 kita-sama jus sk8dd by me i fink he haz a new b04rd!!!!! be are be

𝖗𝖆𝖜𝖗𝖇4𝖐4: uGGGHRRR MEEKY DIS IZ MOAR IMPOARTAN!!!!!!

before i have the chance to tell them about my fateful encounter with the oikawa tooru-sama someone snatches my phone away. i turn around, maybe it’s oikawa tooru-sama again?

UGH NO IT’S OUR STUPID BALD PRINCIPAL. now i’m in trouble.

‘no phones in the hall (y/n) (l/n)-san!’ he yells at me. his breath stinks, yuck.

he takes my phone and puts it in his pocket and i realize that he’s putting it in his pocket and taking it away.

‘b-but-‘ jimmy i protest. not my flip phone with my pink bedazzled hello kitty charm on the end!

‘no buts!!!! see you after lecture missy!!’

god, this is just like, the worst day ever.

༻✧༺

𝑖𝑡’𝑠 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑𝑏𝑦𝑒, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑤𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡

𝑙𝑒𝑡’𝑠 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑑𝑟𝑢𝑛𝑘 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑟𝑖𝑑𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑

𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑝𝑒𝑎𝑐𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑎𝑛 𝑒𝑚𝑝𝑡𝑦 𝑡𝑜𝑤𝑛

𝑤𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑖𝑡 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡

༻✧༺

p.e. is the same as always: im sitting on the side, not doing sports because girls like me can’t risk breaking my perfectly painted pink (hot pink, not baby pink) nail with diamonds on it. i tell my bffs about the encounter and they all agree that it’s deffo fate.

‘i know right??’ i giggle staring down at the man of my dreams, at his chocolate brown locks, thinking back at his dreamy brown orbs staring into my dark black ones offering me his hand.

‘you should totes ask him out!’ giggles sunnie.

‘oh em gee, never!!! that’s sooo embarrassing, he’s totally gonna say no!’ i said.

‘seriously, (y/n)-chan, what do you have to lose?’ rachelle said.

‘just like, my dignity and self respect.’ i reply sassily.

at that we three burst into laughter, and the fat p.e. prof turns and tells us shhhhhhh.

i love my friends.

i tell them about our bald principal taking my pink flip phone with the hello kitty charm on it away.

‘oh no!’ rachelle exclaimed.

‘what are you going to do?’ sunnie asked.

i shrug, feeling at a loss without it.

‘it’s like, seriously dangerous without a phone.’ the blonde said.

‘what if you get like, kidnapped or something?!’ the purplenette said, clasping her hand over her mouth in a show of shock. (ps. bluette vs. blunette?)

‘kidnapped?!?’ i laugh. ‘who’s gonna kidnap me?!!’ we all burst into laughter again, causing our p.e. prof (still fat and annoying) to shhh us again.

little did i know that the brunette vball star was staring up at me, plotting.

i had no idea what was about to come.

༻✧༺

𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑜𝑤 𝑖𝑡 𝑎𝑤𝑎𝑦, 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑦𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑑𝑎𝑦

𝑤𝑒’𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡 𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑝𝑒

𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑛’𝑡 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑎 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑠𝑎𝑦

𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑢𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑤𝑎𝑦

𝑤𝑎𝑡𝑐ℎ 𝑖𝑡 𝑏𝑢𝑟𝑛, 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑖𝑡 𝑑𝑖𝑒

𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑤𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑓𝑟𝑒𝑒, 𝑡𝑜𝑛𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡

༻✧༺

when i open my eyes, my eyes are heavy, staring up at a bright light above my head. i squint my eyes because the light hurts my eyes.

‘well, well, well’ i hear a voice behind me. ‘(y/n)-himesama’s awake, i see.’

wait-

i know that voice-

that’s-

that’s the oikawa tooru-sama’s voice!

‘w-what?’ i stuttered, surprised but feeling a warm rush going down my body at the sound of his voice. ‘what’s going on?’

he chuckles. ‘can’t you tell?’

i look around and see my arms taped up behind me on a chair and my legs tied together by... something. rope maybe?

‘where am i?’ i ask, even more bewildered.

‘tsk tsk tsk, silly (y/n)-himesama. i’ve kidnapped you, my dear.’ he said. ‘we’re in my mansion right now’

my eyes pop out of their sockets. am i hearing him right?

‘no,’ he corrects himself. ‘we’re in our mansion.’

i can’t help but blush at that suggestion. our mansion?

that’s right, i must be crazy, i think to myself. this is all just a dream, i’m still in school, on the bleachers with my bffs and i fell asleep in our class.

‘this isn’t a dream, darling’ he singsongs, and i feel more warmth flood downwards. god what is wrong with me? turned on in this situation? but can you blame me? who wouldn’t get turned on when the oikawa tooru-sama is standing in front (or behind) them and calling them ‘darling’?

‘w-what- h-h-how?’ i ask him. ‘i was just at school, staring at you play vball in the gym- i mean n-not staring at you- and-‘

he chuckles darkly.

‘i know you were, (y/n)-himesama. that’s why i kidnapped you, because you’re so cute.’

i blush at his words. m-me? cute??? did the oikawa tooru just call me cute?

i suddenly remember what rachelle and sunnie said in p.e. today about being kidnapped, and shudder. god, h-her mind! they’re totally gonna tell me i told you so! when i tell them.

‘b-but, h-how?’ i bit my lip looking at him beneath my lashes, or however anastasia steele did it in too many shades of grey. (it wasn’t actually that bad, but ill never admit it. it’s sorta kinda hot. also pantone says theres only like 37 diff shades so.)

‘i saw you with your friends, and i served a ball at your head knocking you out.’ he explained. suddenly i feel a pang on my head reinforcing what he’s saying.

‘ow...’ i say quietly.

the brunette man built like a god walks into my frame of vision for the first time after waking up and i notice he’s shirtless, all 8pack exposed for me to look at.

(i guess brianna was right, but she’s still a liar that wears green shoes with red socks.)

he comes up to me and kneels in front of me until he’s kneeling in front of me. he carresses my cheek with his hand (the same one he reached out to me earlier that day, pre-kidnapping) and i sigh.

if this is a dream never wake me up. i think to myself.

‘wh-‘ before i can get the words out asking him why me?, he presses a finger to my lips, shushing me.

he looks at me with his brown chocolate orbs, and i get lost in them, counting the stars and constellations in those glowing beautiful orbs that i never thought i could look at so up close. (except in photos i secretly took)

‘i love you, (y/n) (l/n)’ he says.

i fainted.

༻✧༺

𝑡𝑜𝑛𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑠

𝑖𝑡’𝑠 𝑠𝑜 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑏𝑦 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒

𝑤𝑒’𝑙𝑙 𝑐𝑟𝑦, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑤𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑔𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑢𝑝 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡

༻✧༺

i wake up (for the second time that day, god what is up with today?), my eyes still heavy.

‘good morning, darling,’ i hear a voice say, and suddenly i remember everything that’s transpired so far.

(for reference: i crashed into the oikawa tooru-sama this morning, had my phone taken away, and now kidnapped by none other than the oikawa tooru-sama, now in his- no, our mansion.)

‘o-oikawa tooru-sama?’ i stutter out weakly, still groggy.

‘just tooru, my hime-sama.’ he says and i feel my body heating up again.

suddenly, i’m filled with an overwhelming emotion, and the worlds spill out before i can stop them.

‘i love you, t-tooru.’ i stutter on the foreign name, biting my lips (for good measure).

he looks at me, chocolate orbs piercing right into my super dark black pupils, and he starts to cry. i cry too, because he just looks so beautiful, even when he’s crying.

he holds me in his arm and i nuzzle my nose into his neck, smelling his deep chocolatey velvety sweet minty musky scent. he smells so good i could just stay here forever, bathing in the chocolatey velvety sweet minty musk.

‘u-um...’ i start, and he nuzzles his face into my neck some more. i can feel his wet tears on my shoulder... is he still crying??

i try again. ‘u-ummmm...’

he finally looks up at me and i peer into his deep chocolate orbs, feeling him stare intently into my dark block orbs. i wiggle my arms to show him i want him to release them, because if you remember they’re still taped up by like, tape or rope or whatever.

‘o-oh!’ he exclaims and unties them.

i don’t know what came over me but suddenly we’re kissing, our tongues are battling for dominance within our hot wet cavernous mouths, and it’s soooo hot.

he grips my legs and spreads them apart, tongues still fighting a mighty battle, and i see him take out his big massive rock hard member in his hands.

i wrap my legs around him, thankful for the pink (bubblegum pink) and white checkered skirt im wearing today for easy access, and he pushes his hot shaft into my core. i can feel his member in my wet gushy wushy pussy and it feels so good i came.

he cums too.

‘w-will you marry me?’ he looks up at me, his member still inside. i feel tears brimming in my eyes again as I nod.

‘i do.’

༻✧༺

𝑤𝑒’𝑙𝑙 𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑚 𝑙𝑜𝑢𝑑 𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑜𝑝 𝑜𝑓 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑙𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑠

𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦’𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑖𝑡’𝑠 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑤𝑒’𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑔

𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑤𝑒’𝑙𝑙 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑠𝑜 𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒

a/n: ta-dah!! the end!!! tankzz 4 readin guyzzzz lawl im thinking of making dis a series so... ;))) tell me who u wana be kidnapped by next! xD

a/n #2: speshull tankz 2 uwucatgirlprincess99 4 da line (u kno da one ;))) + sk8erg0rl666 4 havin me in da collab! + also cummin up wiv da title!! lawlzz rawr x)))

a/n #3: OH WOW . erhm. Longest chappy thing ive written. Hope you liked it. so uhm. ENJOY ! [btw, I'm considering doing the NEXT CHAP; sneak peek thing. Should I? :3 Comment?] plz R&R!! :]]] kudoz 4 u <333

p.s. da colour i used 4 da lyriczzz is fuschia pink! :3

p.p.s. comment below if u reconize dee song!! ur a kool kat if u do ;))

#oikawa #im so sorry im so so so so sorry #please dont read this #please dont perceive this #i have nothing to say only apologies #altho im vvvv proud of how on brand my titlw us #and i um..... if ur readinv this heres where i admit #that the disclaimer on top and a/n at the bottom may or may have been taken from my.... ff.net #from when i was 9.........#just for a diff fandom (with slight tweaking)#im just sorry #im really really sorry

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radiofreeyurick · 3 years

Text

Thus The Man Continues to Fall

By Nick Yurick

20 years after the tragedy that shaped a generation now haunted by final days of the War that was spurred by it, and newly bereft of so many previously held sentiments, causes, or beliefs that felt so vital and true on that day, for many, all that remains is The Falling Man

Any adolescent on the verge of social awareness has to feel it coming. Though some may only be students of history out of obligation at that age, rather than genuine interest or concern, the patterns and shifts begin to take on palpable rhythms of causes and effects, ebbs and flows, and calms preceding storms. The moment when the News becomes a Documentary, replete with imagined underscoring, slow motion, and a dramatic voiceover. The moment when Life becomes History.

At 14 years of age I was already an aspiring multihyphenate. actor, artist, musician, perhaps educator, and on that day, and at this moment it seems, a journalist. Thus it remains a fitting coincidence that for me, Life became History when I was in second period school newspaper class. Much as my grandparents and parents had told me over the years of their “where were you” moments in experiencing the Bombing of Pearl Harbor and the Assassination of John F. Kennedy, mine took place as I struggled to upload photos of the first day of school from an already outdated late ‘90s digital camera. It is perhaps for this reason that, though my life and work since have spanned multiple fields and environments, from stage to screen to the classroom, it is still through the mind of a journalist that I revisit this day every year. Be it with my continued work as a student journalist in the years immediately following or later as one of millions of social media pundits in the years to come, I have felt compelled to revisit the facts of why and how every year. But as the History we’ve lived the past 20 years continues to make those answers more and more evasive, my fascination, and that of many others, has shifted to the actions of a different, and more functional, camera a thousand miles away. The camera held by a Pulitzer Prize winning Associated Press photographer named Richard Drew as he captured The Falling Man.

It is here that I must humble myself a bit, being well aware that the undying fascination with the image of this lone inverted figure has only increased in recent years. In a sardonic act of self-awareness I could just as well title this essay, “This 9/11, if You Read One Unqualified Take on ‘The Falling Man,’ Make it THIS one.” Day to day I am but one of millions who fight for stage and screen time, clicks, words, and any vague measure of digital real estate before taking a break to get back to my woodworking hobby. Thus I only ask that you read on with the knowledge that the History being lived by a 34 year old armchair philosopher as he chain smokes at his Chromebook is as real as the History being lived by the septuagenarian widower in the Oval Office. As it relates to The Falling Man though, for myself and many like me, today The Falling Man is all that remains of that day.

-Trajectories and Arrival Points

In analyzing any historical event, we are drawn to examine it in terms of the trajectory it puts us on and arrival point it leads us to. These consequences often take the forms of calls to action, causes to be taken up, or revelations about American society of the day. In any case, they tell us why the world we fell asleep in that evening, or that many didn’t live to, was different from the world in which we had awakened that morning. Pearl Harbor placed us on the trajectory of entering World War II, drawing the United States and its Allies into a global conflict of unprecedented scale and accelerating the end of the Great Depression, with the arrival point of the Nation’s emergence as a global leader and the establishment of “The American Dream” in the form of a higher standard of living than was previously accessible to many. The Assassination of John F. Kennedy placed us on the trajectory of increased escalation in Vietnam, leading to a new era of social unrest and mistrust in our institutions. Simultaneously the inspiration to carry forth what was considered the late President’s unfinished work, gave birth to heightened social activism and significant leaps forward in Civil Rights and Women’s Rights. This was largely seen through to the arrival points of our withdrawal from Vietnam, the Resignation of Nixon, and the dawn of “Morning in America” with the election of Ronald Reagan in 1980. Although every single historical event echoes eternally, in American Society we are accustomed to some feeling of victory or at least reprieve, as if the demons that emerged from these national tragedies have been temporarily vanquished in our day to day lives while we lick our collective finger to gingerly turn the page on the next chapter.

-The Curtain

It is, at this very moment, 12:26 PM on September the 7, 2021. It occurs to me that to write with such perceived urgency about another September Tuesday a score of years prior will hopefully become as passe and bland as any of the seemingly newfound conspiracies on Kennedy’s Assassination have now become. Yet I continue to do so, because as of now, the aforementioned page has yet to turn. In the previously mentioned epochs, though there were plenty who still saw through the folly of the “American Dream” and the falsehood of “Morning in America,” even an equitable specter to those has yet to emerge. The Election of Barack Obama seemed a fitting placeholder in 2008, but the quick return to the frustrations of petty political gridlock coupled with the now pyrrhic victory we found in the final defeat of Osama bin Laden, made immediately clear that this generation would be visited by no such specter. This absence may on the surface seem a failure on the part of the current proverbial page turners to do so, but is also a result of our increasingly short attention spans having already written so many of the remaining pages that there is no consensus on Which page we may now turn to, but only the widespread certainty that we can’t. Because one thing we have so much more of than those preceding generations, be it the Boomers post Pearl Harbor or the X-ers post Kennedy, is an inescapable curiosity about what may be written on them and more importantly a will to read it. Or in stronger terms, this generation now carries the burden of knowing that which may be on those pages could prove our only salvation, as none other has made itself apparent. Thus if historical events can be seen in terms of a curtain being pulled back and then drawn again while the stage is reset, now the curtain has gone up in flames.

This so-called Curtain can come in the form of where we as a society now place our faith, or more specifically, what entity we trust to lead us to the aforementioned arrival point. With most national tragedies our instinct is to place our trust in our leaders, imploring them to step up when our faith in our own security has crumbled. Alhough with 9/11 we became quickly aware that we lacked an FDR to guide us through the darkness through Fireside Chats, we still entertained the notion that we were to have some faith in the very idea of Leadership itself, however personally distasteful or incompetent we found that Leader to be. By 2004 however, the leadership of George W. Bush had not only failed to bring us a perceptible victory in our immediate cause in Afghanistan, but had begun an entirely new sideshow in Iraq the previous year. This was the beginning of what has fittingly been referred to as “The Forever War,” where battles are not simply initiated by belligerents and ended by victors, but fought on eternally, perverting the traditional goal of final victory as we previously knew it. And if there is an end, it will likely be celebrated by none, if any, who were present when it began. This Forever War began to be seen as such during the Presidency of Barack Obama. While a controversial election in 2000 had already lead many of my generation to view the failed leadership of his predecessor Bush as a clerical error of sorts, we also blamed the misfortune of Our Generation’s Moment having taken place before we had come of age to elect Our Generation’s President. And yet the Page remained unturned. The aforementioned killing of Osama bin Laden did little to quell the Forever War, and domestically we were afforded mere scraps in the form of slightly more accessible healthcare for the few capable of navigating a bureaucratic system now more inconsistent and Byzantine than ever. Meanwhile societal issues such as racial equity and LGBT+ rights only achieved progress as a result of the larger culture elevating them to the status of the baseline right thing to do, but only when it saw fit. All of that being the case, 2016 arrived with an all too ideal stage set for the rise of Donald Trump, or more fittingly the fall of Leadership and the sheer laughibility that it ever represented a concept worthy of a generation’s trust. Even with Trump’s replacement by Joe Biden after the bitterly contested 2020 election, the ensuing Insurrection of January 6, 2021 cemented the new reality: there is now no such thing as Leadership, but only who You choose to believe.

Thus the Man continues to Fall…

-The Meaning of We

Two months prior to this writing, our nation celebrated the 245th year of its independence with the usual bombast we’ve become accustomed to. However each year for many the “bombs bursting in air” referred to in song seem to ring more and more hollow, as does the song itself. The hollowness of these verses seems a far cry from the days of ubiquitous flag waving and the shared sense of national pride we experienced twenty years ago. An outside force having done our country such grievous harm, we were called upon to show that world that We, the victims, truly represented the way of right and justice, while They, the aggressors, were but barbarous heathens, lashing out against the world’s brightest beacon of Freedom. We sought to show that our National identity embodied the supreme ideal of the civilized and just world we should aspire to, and that our way of life, the American Way, was anathema to the ways of those who employed violence and terror as a means to achieve their interests. This has long been what we’ve been taught to believe of our Nation, especially when such destruction has been brought to our shores, as if to say, “We are not like them, We would never do this. We are America, and to be American is to be on the side of Good.” Alas, as the Curtain’s smoldering remnants now hang in tatters, through the lazily wafting smoke we have seen America’s failings writ large in the ashes. Not only those we would previously chalk up to “a different time,” or “another generation,” but those being carried out as we speak. Thus Patriotism, as a concept defined by a faith in the unfailing virtue of one’s country, has experienced a superficial rebirth in the immediate aftermath of 9/11, only to be followed by a slow death in the years since.

It is here that we must revisit those previously mentioned pages in our History which we failed to turn, those unread or forgotten chapters that may not have fit into the collective identity that we wished to cultivate. For the History we once read was often presented to us as in a sanitized narrative, compiled as a companion piece to the definition of Patriotism we were compelled to accept. The heroic vision we once held of America during World War II, as saviors from unprecedented evils on either side of the globe, has now been graffitied over in these pages with stories of her persecution and internment of Japanese-Americans, an injustice not even acknowledged for nearly fifty years after. On other pages, the names of millions of European Jews who were turned away from our shores early in the war, many to their deaths, are now scrawled hastily in desperation, as though hoping that someone, in some distant year, may someday bear witness and validate their humanity as our country, and even one of our most venerated Leaders personally, failed to in their lifetimes. Even still, the pages following the war, heralding the establishment of the American Dream, now contain detailed revelations of redlining, “white flight,” and the practices that excluded People of Color from being included in the idyllic America we were thought to have achieved during this period.

Indeed this alternate chapter continues through the 1960s and to this day, where the America that was thought to have humbly shown remorse and emerged as a global leader in Civil Rights, redressing the atrocities of Slavery and Jim Crow, is seen to have done so with the upmost reluctance. This America instead sought to bolster its image by now phasing out more blatant forms of discrimination in favor of practices more pervasive and insidious. Wage discrimation served to keep People of Color impoverished and desperate, effectively prohibiting them from moving to areas with better access to education and opportunities. With limited access to education, cycles of generational poverty continued this trend. In the face of poverty, those suffering were often forced to turn to the drug trade or other forms of criminal enterprise as a means of achieving even a glimmer of the prosperity that was supposed to define this chapter in American History or even to sustain the very lives of themselves and their families. And when “Morning in America” dawned in the 1980s, also did the rise of the “War on Drugs,” which further criminalized and demonized the only means of income that many already living in poverty had at their disposal. Meanwhile the introduction of crack cocaine to the inner cities provided a more abundant and addictive product to target, leading to harsher prison sentences for those peddling the substance and more debilitated addicts left in its wake.

But America watched as First Lady Nancy Reagan appeared on television's most popular sitcom of the day, Diff’rent Strokes. In the Very Special episode, Mrs. Reagan’s obliviously grandmotherly voice comforted the precocious and diminutive young protagonist Arnold, an African-American child of the same poverty the American Dream shunned, now in the care of a wealthy white benefactor (and played by Gary Coleman who himself later symbolized an exploitative and predatory entertainment industry), along along with millions of other wayward youths at risk of falling victim to the ongoing drug epidemic, ironically fueled and enabled by the same America that created it. Arnold, and any of those watching could always, “Just Say No.” As though it were a choice. As though any of it were ever a choice. As though choice wouldn’t soon prove to be as illusory as the American Dream was to so many others who experienced naught but cold dark nights during “Morning in America.” As though the concept of choice wouldn’t also be blamed for the plight of LGBTQ+ Americans whose lives were destroyed by the AIDS epidemic that was stigmatized and swept under the rug by this same administration during this period.

In the past twenty years, these undercurrents that eroded the notion of Patriotism in the fifty years prior now flow freely on the surface. Though these preceding chapters, ones that told of these racial, economic, and cultural struggles, were written on scraps of hotel paper or the backs of envelopes by those who lived them, now these stories grab headlines. Headlines that reveal now more than ever the long held role of the police in maintaining these systems of oppression, as well as the consistent biases ingrained in them against the communities they were sworn to protect. Though the Patriotism that flared so brightly after 9/11 was accompanied by an increased reverence toward law enforcement officers, many having lost their lives in those towers, the ensuing decades revealed their institution’s role in excluding so many from the justice and civility our Patriotic ideal was supposed to stand for, instead embroiling them in lives lived in terror from the violence the country was supposed to stand against. So now the iconic waving flag of stars and stripes turns on its side, as the stars fade and the stripes turn to the vertical walls of the doomed Twin Towers, split by one helpless, inverted figure.

Thus the Man continues to Fall…

-Truth, War, and the War on Truth

Last night as I readied myself for bed, I opened the News app on my iPhone one last time before turning in. Though my at times masochistic addiction to the news cycle had been in a remission of sorts after the emotional burnout of a pandemic filled year, it has experienced a brief relapse of late. I sometimes view it as a quest for positivity, a search for hope, and some indication, any indication, that things are getting better, but more often it’s simply to make sure I haven’t missed the last bad thing to have happened. Indeed such an addiction is far more possible now as the news is more accessible than ever. I’ve often thought that my generation’s predilection for ‘90s nostalgia wasn’t a mere longing for our childhood or for a pre-9/11 America, but a wish to return to a time when escaping the often horrific barrage of news stories was as simple as tossing a newspaper into the recycling bin or switching off the TV. But with more and more of our very existence taking place online, the news has become inextricably intertwined with it to the point that to disconnect would risk severing our ties with our work, our activities and our socialization. Perhaps too this nostalgia is linked to a time when the news by and large represented the truth, or at least the basic facts of the day. Though valid criticisms of media biases have long existed, widespread disdain for factual storytelling is at an all time high and consensus on any voice, even one voice, we can trust is nonexistent. My generation will likely be the last to even remember a reliably comforting presence like Peter Jennings reporting the events of 9/11, or our parents’ memories or Walter Cronkite tearfully informed us of the killing of Kennedy, or the multitude of trusted local radio announcers tasked with delivering the tragic news that broke on December 7, 1941. Much like the idea of Leadership, loss of faith in The Truth is another backdrop against which the Man continues to Fall…

What struck me though about the news story that appeared on the smudged touch screen of my iPhone yesterday evening was its similarity to one that may have appeared next to a coffee stained newspaper on our kitchen table any morning before I departed for 4th grade in 1996. Further, I tell you this was never where and when anyone who had lived through the past twenty-five years would still expect to see the headline: “Taliban Whip Women Protesting Interim Government.” This is what losing a War looks like.

It is for good reason that the Second World War has been referred to as “America’s Last Good War,” and that the War in Vietnam led to an all around loss of faith in war itself as an instrument of foreign policy and a means of progressing our causes. And with America’s participation in War taking on the form of quick and focused operations, isolated police actions, and distantly coordinated air strikes since then, the large scale mobilization against Afghanistan in the Fall of 2001 (rumored at the time to be leading to Congress’s first formal Declaration of War since 1941) cheered by vengeance seeking Patriots, perhaps now to be the Last Patriots, was equally as necessary and noble in beginning what was sure to become known as “America’s First Good War of the 21st Century?” For when, albeit not for ten years, American forces finally decimated Al Qaeda and killed Osama bin Laden, did America not cheer and celebrate throughout her streets, no doubt inspiring many a tear to trickle down the withered cheeks of those who recalled witnessing such on VJ Day in their much younger years, now assured safety in their homeland? For surely a further ten years mired in the unforgiving deserts and treacherous hillsides of the region, as thousands more of our soldiers shed their blood upon the land and return dismembered, traumatized, or not at all, surely that gained our country some unheralded boon to our interests, any strategic advantage, or the meanest notion of progress in the lives of our citizens or more importantly the people whose country we occupied for two decades? Why then, does America’s last plane departing from Kabul Airport nearly a score of years after the first of hers rained bombs not so far from it, instead truly feel like the final Fall of our long dying faith in War itself?

Because when I read a headline from Afghanistan last night, in high definition through the tired eyes of a young man feeling far older than he had earned any right to, and it remained (even after 20 years of frantically advancing and retreating soldiers, deafening blasts from bombs and improvised explosives, and so much more sanguine blood streaming from wounded flesh of all the colors of the world) so dissimilar from one that would have flashed onto a comparatively fuzzy television screen to meet the cheery eyes of an enthusiastically Patriotic Cub Scout, proud of the Leader his parents would take part in reelecting later that year (though, ironically, this Leader would himself have his own part to play in our collective loss of faith in Leadership), well...I simply could feel no other way. This is what losing a war looks like…

...and thus the Man continues to Fall.

And while our country losing its faith in War should be welcomed as a sign of progress and our collective evolution toward the civilization that was to serve as a cornerstone of our now-fallen Patriotism, it can only be truly welcomed when it is replaced instead by a renewed and sincere faith in Peace! And perhaps in global affairs, in a nominal and superficial sense, Peace is gaining some believers, though I can’t confidently believe all hold this faith sincerely as much as out of a cynically held tool of self-preservation until the war profiteers who pull their strings find new markets for their wares. But America’s faith in Violence is now stronger than ever. Carried out now by citizens on our streets rather than soldiers across the world, by police in squad cars rather than infantry in tanks, and now, perhaps imperceptibly, by viruses in our lungs spreading freely through uncovered orifi, violence is embraced by America as a whole in ways that make any notion that anyone this violent nation killed halfway across the world made us safer these last twenty years. In that same period, a new record for the deadliest mass shooting in modern American history has been set, first by a disturbed and alienated college student in Virginia, then by a would-be terrorist with a history of hate crimes at an LGBT+ nightclub in Orlando, and finally by his immediate usurper of this horrific distinction who just the following year rained bullets down from a modified assault rifle upon concertgoers in Las Vegas while perched far above them in his hotel room. Expanding our scope to the top five shootings, the other two on the list took place during just this past decade, the first carried out upon children by a mentally ill youth at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut, and the other at a church in Texas, by a resentful and misogynistic former spouse of one of the parishioners, a uniquely American demon consumed with wanting. In each instance the tired argument, dating back to the pre-9/11 massacre at Columbine and beyond, was made, that our government’s comparatively lax laws on gun ownership were to blame, but after the killings at Sandy Hook in 2012 changed nothing in that regard, that argument has felt increasingly futile. After all, when a country does fails to restrict such instruments of death after they’re used to murder 27 children, it doesn’t really want to. And to blame the mere presence of guns sidesteps the truth at the root of these shootings: modern America breeds killers, and more effective ones than ever.

But while Americans react to the violence perpetrated by mass shootings with condemnation and abhorrence, the violence carried out by an increasingly militarized police force breeds division and itself, violent rhetoric as the calls to find more peaceful solutions to making our streets safer are met with calls for more violence and diversions of blame to the victims themselves. This rash of violence was once countered with the statement that, “police brutality in America isn’t getting worse, it’s just getting filmed,” once again ignoring the forgotten chapters in our History in which we have now read that policing in America has played a part in targeting and criminalizing People of Color since its near inception. And as indeed everything is being filmed now, it permeates our culture to the point that it now builds upon itself influencing our every interaction, becoming a key talking point in the hate speech that now passes for political discourse. The result being the undeniable fact that the Fall of our Faith in War has not given way to the Rise of our Faith in Peace. Not in any meaningful way across the globe, and within our own borders it has shifted to a Rise in Faith in War upon Ourselves. And meanwhile…

...the Man continues to Fall…

-Tilling the Earth to Grow Softer Ground

...but where will he land?

In embarking on all of my writings, in contrast to the manner in which our country begins so many of its wars, I never do so without some intention of finding some source of hope or comfort, some path forward to progress, or, when setting out with the most optimistic of outlooks, perhaps a solution to the issues explored. While there was little to be had as I drafted the first few segments, it also became all the more necessary in the face of revisiting so much of the despair, confusion, and upheaval my fellow Americans and I have experienced these last twenty years as well as much of what those who came before did the decades examined prior. Thus it is fitting that while the preceding passages of this article were written in multiple sessions on my porch this week while the searing summer sun begins to give way to the first chilly autumn winds, I conclude this piece sitting on my bed as the first minutes of September the 11th, 2021 tick by. While many of the recent writings about Richard Drew’s iconic photograph have sought to confirm, or at investigate clues as to, the identity of its subject. In writing this piece I was reminded of so much of the American lives currently being lived now takes place in a culture where many are emboldened by the absence of names or faces. Thus to the notion that one would seek to identify this blurry, tragic figure, I retort: in a society where to be nameless and faceless can mean to be validated or even in some way seem enviable, what meaning could this man’s name and face possibly hold were it revealed to the masses? Instead it is perhaps better he continue his descent in anonymity and transubstantiate in our collective consciousness, and perhaps enjoy the comparative bliss felt only when one’s form shifts to that of a generational metaphor.

But as a now belabored metaphor, surely worn and windburned by his descent through my accountings of over a half-century’s worth of America’s broken promises, cheapened values, and hidden hatreds that were really in plain sight, he certainly deserves a softer place to land than the mattress that now serves as my roost, upon which I try to write one up for him. And from it I am reminded as well of the faiths that fell from our very homes, many of which we held our most steadfast trust. Our generation having now experienced the twin economic upheavals of the 2008 financial crisis and the ongoing Covid-19 pandemic, faith in our dreams has fallen. And when the fall of this faith was begun by the shortsightedness and bad advice of those who first told us to believe in our dreams, we have to believe our dreams were always meant to decline. Thus many of us have embraced decline, with rates of depression, addiction, and other mental illness climbing in recent years. This is but one factor in the fall of our faith in the preceding generations, but this is in no way a textbook shifting of blame to our parents and grandparents, for they too have never lived in a world like this either. Instead, having spent so many of their younger years in a state of Not Knowing (while we ironically know nothing but this feeling) the brief length of time they spent in a state of Knowing, having been taught so well History’s patterns, shifts, palpable rhythms of causes and effects, ebbs and flows, and calms preceding storms that they weathered in the America they thought they knew, became their addiction as well, their perceived wisdom now the opiate of their uncertainty. For me personally, my late father was the one who taught me the most about the components, currents, and forces that moved History and how they had been maintained. Thus after his passing in early 2016, the loss was made all the more crushing upon the election of Donald Trump later that year, now that he, who for so much of my life could always point back to an equivalent trajectory America had placed upon and determine some possible arrival point, was no longer with us. But even having asked him so many times in my youth, “so what does this mean now, dad?” I recall now how many more times in the final decade of his life, he could answer with little more than, “I don’t know Nick.”

So perhaps I am also one of many for whom their faith in Wisdom has fallen as well. And since with the passing on of Wisdom our society traditionally passes on its culture, so with it has our Culture fallen as well. By now means in such a way that I would dare complain there has been a decline in the quality of our art, music, and films, but the notion of a shared culture of unassailable timeless classes has fallen. This may be for the best however, as the very subjective nature of art itself implies that any attempt to establish the undeniable supremacy of any work of art in such a way that spans generations, cultures, or life experiences serves to deny the validity of so many diverse tastes, sensibilities, and traditions as well as that of a work’s relevance when its purpose was only to encapsulate the cultural moment it was created in. So perhaps we should embrace the fact that our cultural landmarks are now determined more by individuals for themselves, and consist of niche classics, flavor of the day pop hits, and even tuneful inside jokes distributed across the vastness of the internet by among the varied enclaves of those who appreciate them. And even as part of a generation of young people who feel old, though many who had the luxury of experienced their brief stint in the state of Knowing will argue I haven’t earned that feeling, I remain a dedicated fan of the legendary musician Bruce Springsteen, it is perhaps fitting that his hopeful 2002 album “The Rising” would resonate far less in defining the musical outlook of the post-9/11 era than a 2003 release by his fellow New Jerseyans in the lesser-known punk band Thursday, titled “War All The Time.” Still with cultural moments all the more fleeting and tastes increasingly specific, one might say that each is now as obscure as the other, in contrast to the attention paid upon their initial release. The truth of course may be determined by which generation one comes from.

However this softer landing surface upon which our Man is to Land can only be created through generational cooperation, so let us finally unite in the experience of Not Knowing as we reluctantly celebrate the death of Wisdom, and perhaps even briefly entertain some illusion that the ground may yield when he reaches it, but bear each other through the realization we can instead only soften it by creating new institutions and redefining old ideas.

For the failing of Leadership need not truly be failure if we instead build our Leaders from the ground up. Rather than following those who present themselves on a bully pulpit as such, follow those who present themselves in the places we already needed them to be and allowed us to find them there. That is to say, on our own streets in the neighborhoods we live in, serving the communities in which they have built their lives while helping others to build theirs. Find them in our own offices and factories, working side by side while gaining an understanding of the labor and dedication that truly builds a nation, a dedication they wouldn’t dare exploit. And task these leaders with creating ideologies of which they themselves will someday no longer be irrelevant symbols, as ideologies must now be based not upon whom among these privileged few we choose to vote into power, but upon which of the many more helpless we choose to heal of their suffering.

Further I implore you not to mourn the death of our faith in Patriotism if our New Patriots can now redefine their love for their country as no longer being a love for the vague and faceless notions of Freedom or exclusionary definitions of “We” that were allowed to make that Freedom a luxury so few were truly afforded. And when harsh economic forces and the predatory and cynical motivations of those who were allowed to write the chapters upon which the Old Patriotism was written seek to restrict that Freedom even further, let us redistribute it to the no longer huddled masses so they may no longer thirst for it. For the New Patriotism will be based in understanding that to love one’s country means to love every human being who resides within it, no matter their origin or status. This Patriotism understands that America need not merely be the name of a long dead sailor, given by white men to stolen land that once bore so many varied, beautiful, and sacred names for the vast and diverse locales that comprise it, but that America by definition is collection of the hopes, dreams, fears, and needs of three-hundred thirty or more million souls upon whose very existence building a fair and equitable society depends.

And if our faith in War is to truly fail and give way to sincere dedication to faith in Peace. Let the only faith in War that remains be faith in the War upon War, and the destruction of our faith in violence of all kinds. And let the War upon War be a war upon ignorance and selfishness, and allow a generation whose defining tragedy’s only arrival point was a larger and more prolonged tragedy breathe easier, with hope that the virus that destroyed their dreams, and took vast numbers of the preceding generations who once comforted them with their experience in the state of Knowing, will no longer dominate their futures. And if this love that defines the New Patriotism can be the motivating factor in facing our challenges with genuine concern and care for the well being and prosperity of all three-hundred thirty or more million souls for whom the freedom to lives of health and safety, joy and fulfillment, will now be by this new definition their birthright.

At last, when this War upon War has ended, not with a dubious arrival point, but on a glorious and eternal new trajectory, let us harken back to the ways the ends of Wars were written of in scripture, for to bend the sword into plowshares now takes on a greater and renewed urgency, as the need to till the Earth is essential in the necessary task of growing softer ground upon which someday, somehow...

...this Man will Land.

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bae-roman · 4 years

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29, 110 and 97 With/About Roman please 😊

Darling, I am SO SORRY this has taken as long as it has. Hope you like it!!I’m super excited to post this bc I actually managed to FINISH something which hasn’t happened in a really long time :)

29 - You know when your phone buzzes, it means I’m trying to talk to you, right?

110 - “You passed out for like an hour”

97 - Are you trying to flirt? Because you’re embarrassing yourself

Last week, you and Roman hooked up at a party.

Since Letha was your best friend, you knew Roman and the pair of you were around each other pretty often but had never really gotten along.

It wasn’t that you had anything against him, he just always looked so serious all the time. I mean the whole wearing suits and carrying a briefcase to school thing? He looked like a businessman that got lost on his way to work - a joke you and Peter thought was hilarious, although Roman was quite unamused when you told him. He was also SUCH a drama queen. Seriously, everything was like life or death with him. He’d always teased you back, of course, and on this one night, in particular, teasing turned into flirting and well…. let’s just say the two of you became very familiar with the party host’s closet.

You had no expectations of yours and Roman’s little encounter turning into anything more. As far as you were concerned, it was business as usual. You knew how Roman operated with the women he fucked. He would act as though it never happened, maybe he’d give them a wink or something in the hallway to make them feel special, keeping the door open just in case he wanted another easy fuck without having to put the effort into finding a new partner. If they ever tried to talk to him or get clingy, he'd give them a warning glare and if they didn’t get the hint then he’d inform them that they were nothing more than a warm hole to place his dick in. You assumed he’d do the same with you.

You were correct … at first anyways.

After a couple days of you acting as though nothing had happened between the two of you, Roman started behaving weirder than usual. He sat beside you in history, as opposed to taking his normal seat across the room, signed you up to be his lab partner in bio, and had created reasons to talk to you all day. When you fell asleep in class, for example, you awoke to your phone buzzing caused by a text from Roman.

“You’ve been passed out for like an hour”, it read on your home screen.

You wondered why he was so concerned about what you were doing and didn’t even bother to really open it, deciding to actually do some work until your phone buzzed again, this time saying

“ You know when your phone buzzes, it means I’m trying to talk to you, right?”, Once again, you didn’t respond.

You and Roman never had an independent relationship. You mainly pretended the other didn’t exist and only ever really spoke at lunch because of Letha, so this was extremely odd. Especially when you kept catching him staring at you over the next couple days. You had no idea why the hell he was acting so weird until Letha came up to you that afternoon.

“So when were you going to tell me?”

“Tell you what?” You had no idea what she was talking about.

“About you and Roman, obviously”

“Oh, that. There wasn’t anything to tell?”

“What do you mean nothing to tell?” She pried

You shrugged, “I don’t know. I mean, it’s not like it changes anything. For me at least…” You mumbled the last part, but Letha heard anyways.

“What do you mean?”

You signed, giving in to the fact that you were really about to have this conversation.

“I don’t know, it’s probably nothing…. just …Roman’s being… weird?” You struggled to find the right words but continued, “I mean it’s Roman, he’s always weird but he’s being weird..er? Like he talks to me and sits by me and stares at me, oh my god he looks at me like he wants to take me back to his place and skin me and then like keep it in his stupid weird briefcase and like bring me to school with him or something.”

Letha sat there silently while you went on your rant, smirking at you when you finished

“What?” You asked

“He likes you.” She stated matter of factly, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

You snorted.

“Ya okay sure. He likes me” you said sarcastically, thinking Letha was kidding. But as she kept staring at you with that stupid know it all face you came to realize she was dead serious.

“He doesn’t like me”

“ok”

“He doesn’t”

“sure”

“Letha. Roman is not into me”

“mhm”

“He’s NOT!”

“That’s not what he told Peter”

“He told Peter he likes me?”

“No. But when Peter called him out on staring at you for the hundredth time, Roman told him about the little bonding session you had in Matt’s closet and that you keep acting like it never happened and ignoring him.”

“And that supposedly translates into him liking me?”

“Since when has when has Roman ever cared about a girl he already slept with ignoring him?”

You hated that she had a point.

“I - he - that doesn’t mean he likes me”

“Doesn’t it though? Why else would he be acting like this with you”

“I don’t know, global warming? Brain disease? Possession? ….. oh god he’s into me, isn’t he?”

Letha just nodded and pat your shoulder.

“Wait, so all of this stuff he’s been doing lately, is that him trying to flirt with me? Because he’s just embarrassing himself.”

“You like him too,” Letha stated this matter of factly as well.

“Wha- I - Absolutely not”

“yes you do”

“Have you lost your mind? Are you okay because I’m genuinely concerned about you.”

“Awww that’s the same reaction he had when I told him he liked you”

You gave her a disgusted look as the bell rang and you headed to class, Letha insisting that you and Roman were meant to be and you trying not to puke the entire way back to class.

#Roman Godfrey #prompt list #hemlock grove #letha godfrey #peter rumancek #roman godfrey imagine #promptlist #request

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bnha-mha-imagines · 5 years

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Uhm, can i have a little story where the reader is an exchange student from america and misses home, so she's up late one night cooking some american food bc she misses home and like cries while eating it but todo or kiri find them and help them feel better? I'm sorry if i worded this weird, I'm still a little new to requesting things. thank you! ˶⚈Ɛ⚈˵

Haha, don’t worry, it wasn’t weird! I picked Todoroki, hopefully this fits what you wanted! :)

Todoroki x Reader

Word Count: 2283

Warnings: Verrry light angst, author being stupid with how Japanese schools work, fluff at the end, potentially ooc Todoroki? Ugh im inexperienced with him

Summary: (Y/n) is a foreign U.S. student at UA. One night she feels very homesick while making nostalgic American food, and Todoroki finds her crying…

UA was elite, and served not only as a distinguished school in Japan, but also on a global scale. When you sent in your application, you had little hope of moving on to the written and practical exam portion, especially with you being from America. So imagine your surprise when you actually received a letter in the mail informing you that you had been invited to Japan, expenses paid on top of that!

Within a week, you and your parents rushed to pack your things into three suitcases and sent you over to Japan on a flight across the Pacific ocean. The whole experience filled you with a mixture of emotions. Of course you were ecstatic to have a chance at attending UA! Surely this was the best school to get you ahead on your hero career. But you couldn't deny the fear that this news struck within you.

It was your first time flying alone, and to a foreign country at that. You were leaving your entire life behind in America without much time to say goodbye to your friends and family. While you could speak Japanese, you were far from fluent by native standards. And, on top of all that, you still had to check into your hotel and take the exams before you were actually admitted into UA. What if you had come all this way just to be sent back?

By the time you arrive in Japan and retrieve your bags from the baggage claim, it was already 1 in the morning. Exhausted, you waited at the pick up line, looking for the person from UA who should be waiting for you. Eyes tired and heavy, you saw a tall man with spiky blond hair holding a sign with your name on it. He was quite the character, and feeling intimidated, you hesitantly introduce yourself with your amateur Japanese.

The man, who introduced himself as one of the teachers at UA and pro-hero Present Mic, was actually very friendly! Despite how weary you felt, you forced a smile, hoping everyone here was as nice as he was. Once you were settled into your hotel, Mic informed you to rest well, for the exams were early the next morning! Leaving you to your room, you leapt into the bed the moment he closed the door.

Without even bothering to change out of your clothes, you fell asleep within seconds, but not before setting an alarm for 7am. As you slept, you weren’t aware that within the next 24 hours you would not only be admitted into the UA hero program, but in the top 1-A hero class.

After two weeks into school, you learned a number of things. First, that being from America instantly made you a class celebrity. Every student in class already knew you the moment you first entered the room, and you were unprepared for how many questions you were bombarded with. Though overwhelming, you had to admit that it was a good ice-breaker for making friends!

Second, not every teacher was as kind as Present Mic. Mr. Aizawa was border-line sadistic, and on top of that you got off to a rocky start. Who would have known your newfound fame would also have Aizawa target you for being a distraction. Unfortunately for you, you had to work two times as hard to prove to him you were serious about your education.

Third, life in Japan was significantly different from America. It was a huge culture shock, and you struggled with the social differences between both countries. Despite your frequent mistakes, your classmates were very forgiving, and gave you helpful tips on how to act appropriately in Japan. Though, you found yourself in quite a few embarrassing situations…

Despite the difficulties, you wore a large smile as time went on. You could feel yourself growing stronger and adapting to life here. You became fast friends with your classmates, especially with Midoriya, Uraraka, and Iida. Uraraka even took you under her wing and helped improve your Japanese! Eventually people began to no longer associate you with America. Instead of ‘the American’, they viewed you as they did any other hardworking classmate.

Even Todoroki, who initially deemed you a distraction, had opened up to you. Much to your surprise, he was actually rather fun to be around despite his cool and intimidating exterior. After Midoriya had introduced you both, you found it much easier to talk to him. Soon your mutual admiration had morphed into a friendship, and you really appreciated his company. While he never showed much interest in where you came from, you appreciated it. It made you feel less like an oddity, like you belonged here.

By the time the first semester finals arrived, life in Japan had become routine and normal. Of course you missed some things about home in America, but you were always having so much fun and were so busy that you rarely had time to feel down about it! At least...that’s what you thought.

At night, when you were alone with your own thoughts, you couldn’t ignore the waves of home-sickness that overwhelmed you. Sure you had made friends; you would even say Todoroki and Uraraka had become your best friends. But, you still felt hollow when you remembered all of the people you had left behind. The food, the weather, the brands… everything was different from what you were used to, and you find yourself missing things as little as a can of coke or some good ol’ Kraft mac n’ cheese.

During one of your bi-weekly phone calls, you relayed to your mom that you were beginning to miss home. As much as you loved everyone here, it was hard to talk to them about home when they could never really understand where you were coming from. Your mother, however, understood completely. The moment you told her you were homesick, she sent you a small care package in the mail of all of your favorite things! It was packed to the brim with American foods and snacks, and your mouth watered just looking at them all!

You pushed the box under your bed, afraid that your friends may try to steal some of them when you clearly needed it more than them. Your supplies were limited after all. It didn’t hurt what they didn’t know!

Now, during the nights when you feel homesick and lonely, you would pop out one of your American snacks. You would close your eyes and imagine you were back home in the states, and for a little bit you would feel better...before you had to open your eyes again and clean up the empty trash.

It was on one of these nights that you decided to make some Kraft mac n’ cheese. You had been saving the box for a particularly hard night, and this one...this one took the cake. Aizawa had put you all through one of the most excruciating training sessions of the month, and on top of that you hadn’t done so hot on one of your quizzes. By now it was too late to call your mom for comfort, and you felt very, very alone.

You were tired, but you couldn’t sleep. So, grabbing the box of Kraft, you quietly snuck out from your dorm to the common room so you could make your food. The common room usually buzzed with activity, but now with most people retired to their rooms, it was quiet. You leaned on the counter, watching the pot for the water to boil.

Time seemed to slow as you absent-mindedly drained the noodles. The moment you ripped open the cheese pouch and got a whiff of that smell, you felt your lip tremble a little. You felt awful.

Making yourself a bowl, you sat down at the table and stared into the food you had made. Your mouth watered as you lifted a spoonful to your mouth, closing your eyes as you ate. Like those many nights before, you tried to imagine you were sitting at your kitchen table back home in America...but you couldn’t escape.

When you opened your eyes your vision was blurred with tears. Sniffling, you forced another spoonful into your mouth desperately hoping it could fill the void in your stomach. It didn’t. Setting the spoon back into the bowl, you rubbed your eyes with your sleeve, little sobs retching out of you. All this time you had refused to cry. All this time you had refused to show anyone how lonely you were. Finally, months of repressed emotion came pouring out.

Overwhelmed, you almost didn’t hear the voice from behind you. “(Y/n)?” You couldn’t respond, trying to quiet your sobs as the person approached you. Looking up, you saw Todoroki take a seat in front of you, concern written all over his usually emotionless face. Your tear-stained face felt hot with embarrassment. You had hoped everyone was asleep by now, but here you were, caught, sobbing over your food. You tried to hide your face, feeling pathetic.

“(Y/n),” Todoroki said more firmly, placing his hands on your forearms to reveal your face. Forced to look him in the eye, you felt your body shake and you laughed pitifully.

“I’m pathetic aren’t I?” you asked him, your voice congested with tears. “I’m sorry you had to see me like this,” you cried. Todoroki didn’t speak for a moment, his eyes piercing.

With his hands still holding you gently, he asked you in a very serious tone. “Did someone hurt you?” You were already shaking your head, sniffling. He left out a relieved sigh, his eyes softening immensely as he looked at you. “Why are you so distraught?”

Again, you felt yourself laugh sadly. “It’s stupid, it’s…” Todorki shook his head at this, causing your lip to tremble as more tears spilled from your eyes. “I-I just really miss everything. My home, my family,” you looked as your bowl of still steaming mac and cheese, “the food…everything.” Surprising you, Todoroki lifted a hand to gently brush away a stray tear. Never since you met him had he been so tender with you.

“You’re homesick,” he mumbled more to himself than you. Hearing it aloud was enough to send tremors through you, another wave of emotion overtaking you. Letting you cry it out, you felt his hand take and squeeze your own. The pressure was reassuring. As you finished, you heard him speak softly to you. “Tell me about it.”

You blinked, a surprised look crossing your teary eyes. “About America?” Ever since you met, Todoroki had never expressed interest in the United States. That was one of the reasons you liked hanging out with him at first. Seeing him ask about it now was unexpected to say the least.

Todoroki shook his head. “Not about America, about your home.” You blinked. His request was so much different than everyone else’s. People were usually only interested in the school system, or the politics, or the culture. His eyes were so serious, you couldn’t help but feel a little flattered that he actually wanted to hear about your past.

You sniffed, wiping your eyes. “Well,” you began, “I had this one friend…” you began to tell him about your past-life, from your friendships, to your family, to your favorite places to go in your home-town. It was the first time you had spoken about it to anyone at UA, and seeing how intently Todoroki listened to you made you feel as if every word you said was important. The whole while you spoke his hands encased yours, letting you know in a tangible language that he was there. You talked until your voice ran dry and your food was cold.

You finished talking, and your eyes felt heavy. You were exhausted from crying, and by now it was very late. Todoroki was already helping you to your feet when you yawned. “I’ll clean this up for you,” he said, looking into your face. “You should get to bed. Can you walk?”

You felt your heart flutter at his concern for you. “Yes,” you said, voice tired. Todoroki looked at you for a few seconds before shaking his head, unconvinced. Silently, he reached out and lifted you into his arms effortlessly. Feeling heat rise to your face, you went silent, wrapping your arms around him to better balance yourself.

As if you were as light as a feather, he carried you back to your dorm, using one hand to carefully open your door without dropping you. Once he made it to the side of your bed, he gently sat you down. “I’m going to go clean up,” he spoke, his eyes running over your form. “Will you be alright on your own?” You nodded, still flustered from your ride.

Todoroki seemed assured, turning to leave. In a moment of panic, you reached out and grabbed his wrist. “W-Wait,” you began, eyes wide as he pauses to look back at you. “Thank you...for staying up with me and for listening.” You looked down, shy. Feeling a slight pressure on your forehead, you glance back up to see Todoroki pulling away.

“You’re welcome, (Y/n),” he said softly, a fond look in his eyes. “I’ll check in with you tomorrow. For now you should get some rest. Sweet dreams.” Quietly, he left the room and shut the door, leaving you wondering if he had even been there at all.

Rolling over in your bed, you felt a fuzzy feeling in your chest as you remembered how he kissed your forehead just a minute ago. Suddenly, you didn’t feel quite so alone.

#todoroki x reader #bnha x reader #bnha imagines #bnha todoroki #mha x reader #mha imagines #request #bnha headcanons #bnha matchup #shoto todoroki

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haru-desune · 4 years

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Grimmtober Day 26: The Hare and the Hedgehog

As they walked toward the field together, the hedgehog said to his wife, "Now pay attention to what I tell you. You see, we are going to run the race down the long field. The hare will run in one furrow and I in another one. We'll begin running from up there. All you have to do is to stand here in the furrow, and when the hare approaches from the other side, just call out to him, 'I'm already here.'"

This is a fun little fable of ATU 275C. I normally give a simple intro here, but this time I think there is no better way to start this tale than what is written in the text. "This story was actually made up, young ones, but it really is true, for my grandfather, who told it to me, always said whenever he told it, 'it must be true, my son, otherwise it couldn't be told.' Anyway, this is how the story goes:"

A hedgehog was walking through the field to check on his turnips when he came upon a hare. He shouted out a greeting, but the hare, being a distinguished gentleman, looked down upon him, a mere hedgehog. The Hare sarcastically asked him what he was doing, and the hedgehog explained he was out taking a walk. The hare laughed at him, asking if he could even call it a walk with such little legs.

Now this made the hedgehog angry, for how could he help the legs he was born with? He began to argue with the hare, until the two settled on the wager. They would have a race between two furrows and the winner would receive a bottle of fine brandy. The hare was eager to begin, but the hedgehog asked him for a moment to go home and have breakfast and return. The hare agreed. The hedgehog thought to himself that the hare may be a distinguished gentleman, but he was also a fool.

The hedgehog dashed off home and called for his wife. He explained the situation, and gave her a simple task. She simply had to put on a set of his clothes and wait near the finish line, and as the hare approached, call out "I'm already here". His wife agreed, and the hedgehog made his way back to the hare.

When the race began, the hare took off like a shot, fast outpacing the hedgehog. But he simply walked three steps to the nearest furrow and ducked out of sight. The hare triumphantly approached the finish line, but the hedgehog's wife was waiting and called out "I'm already here!"

The hare was shocked, and suspected a trick, so he demanded they race back. Again he took of like a shot, but the hedgehog's wife stayed put. When the hare approached the other end of the track, the hedgehog was waiting, saying "I'm already here!".

Again the hare demanded a rematch, and again the same result. Back and forth the hare ran, demanding rematch after rematch, until finally he fell down dead from exhaustion. The hedgehog happily collected his brandy and his wife and the two headed home.

The story touts the morals of: don't talk down to people, even if you consider them inferior, and marry someone within your class who has the same mindset as you. This isn't my analysis. The story literally ends like this: "The moral of this story is, first, that no one, however distinguished he thinks himself, should make fun of a lesser man, even if this man is a hedgehog. And second, when a man marries, it is recommended that he take a wife from his own class, one who looks just like him. In other words, a hedgehog should always take care that his wife is also a hedgehog, and so forth."

Instead of looking into these two, which both hold true today to a certain extent (The conversation of class and culture in a globalized modernized world is too much for me to have while I'm half asleep), let's compare it to the other famous rabbit racing story. The moral of the tortoise and the hare is "slow and steady wins the race". It feeds into an idea that if you just work hard, persevere, and stay consistent, you'll be able to win in life, even if the game was rigged from the start. But the problem with this narrative, is that it relies on your opponent getting cocky. If the hare hadn't stopped for a nap, he would have beaten the tortoise without a doubt. The line here isn't "Be like the tortoise" it's "don't be the hare" - don't be let your guard down or someone less talented but who puts in more work will take your place.

Conversely, you could say that the The Hare and Hedgehog tells you to work smarter not harder. There was no chance that the hedgehog could match the speed of the hare, so he had to resort to trickery. In the modern world 'good old fashioned hard work' will at best keep you in a middle management position and at worst get you taken advantage of.The hedgehog was playing a rigged game to start, so he took every advantage he could get. We look down on shortcuts as taking the easy way out, but taking a shortcut or working a little smarter in one area, can give you a leg up from a big picture perspective.

But an important distinction should be made here about punching up vs punching down. It's no coincidence that this is a story of the common man against the gentry. This isn't a crabs in the bucket scenario, the hedgehog isn't using his trick to push himself up at the expense of other hedgehogs. Instead he's collaborating with them to gain an upperhand over the hare - or the figure in power. 'Work smarter' in this case is a philosophy that leads to betterment of both the community and the individual.

... I wanted this to be more of a look at the idea of truth and lies in storytelling but it got away from me oh well. Uh.... If you want to see more stories about working smarter and punching up stream Leverage before the reboot airs :) (I promise this is not going to turn into me promoting random media I like... the month's almost over anyway) (This is only the third time) (I'm not counting the Witcher one)

#the brothers grimm #grimmtober #grimm's fairy tales #artober2020 #artober #fairy tales #the hare and the Hedgehog #shiv's art #leverage

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loptgangandi · 5 years

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so! literally no one asked, but these last 3 weeks have been a hell of a ride let me TELL YOU

so happy mun-day now you get to hear all about it!! (with pictures, I’m not a monster)

here’s the cliffnotes version:

december week 1: simultaneously moved back into a place and took classes then moved out of that place while taking classes and planning a 2-day overland trip from sweden to madrid. took said trip.

december week 2: attended the unfccc climate conference COP25 in madrid, got kicked out for protesting in solidarity with indigenous ppl & kids, got let back into COP the next day & proceeded to go to more panels and also protests. no i did not see greta thunberg but she was there. I did not see harrison ford either. I did shake al gore’s hand tho.

december week 3: week #1 with my mom’s new twin one-eyed cyclops kitties (yes both of them), spent the week frantically writing 2400 words of nonsense that hopefully resolved themselves into two coherent enough papers to snag me a nice grade then took a 36-hour trip up to london to see my sister perform at her bitchin new job.

elaboration under the cut.

Hell Week (or) Why You Sometimes Should Fly to Climate Conferences

So, after the nonsense with The Roommate From Hell (reddit rant here), I moved out of my room at her place and back into the dorms (where I still had a lease through the end of December). That required a fair bit of effort, but I moved things bit by bit over the course of about a week, and it was manageable.

But I had to be out of the dorms and have the place clean by the time I left for the climate conference, which in itself was a whole lot of coordination. Wednesday the 4th of December was probably among the worst, most frustrating days I have ever had, and I desperately hope I never have to deal with that level of fuck this fuck you fuck me fuck everything for a very, very long time. Somehow -- by some miraculous act of the gods -- I pulled it out, and managed to get my stuff into my friend’s basement, my plants into another friend’s apartment, my bags packed, my room clean as a whistle, my self moved into my hostel, and to every damn class that week. My interrail tickets came the day I planned to leave -- it was a tight fit -- and I managed to book trains and busses from Uppsala to Madrid with half an hour to spare, and get on the first train (Uppsala to Stockholm) in good time.

The next 48 hours went like this:

Stockholm -> Copenhagen (by train): uneventful, but Copenhagen train station on a Friday night is a little dicey, especially when you’re dragging around a 45 lb suitcase and another 15 lbs on your back

Copenhagen -> Hamburg (by overnight FlixBus): Uneventful, and I was sitting by a window with no one sitting next to me, so I was able to doze a bit on the trip.

Hamburg -> Basel (by high-speed rail): This one I should have booked. The website said that a reservation was recommended, and I understand why. If I’d had a quiet cabin -- or even just a consistent seat for the whole 7-hour journey -- I’d have been able to get a decent night’s sleep. Instead, I kept having to move to give people their reserved seats, and didn’t get more than an hour of uninterrupted sleep.

Basil -> Olten (train): this one was a mistake

Olten -> Brienz (train): where the fuck am I

Brienz -> Lausanne (train): oh right yes that’s the direction I want to go yes good get on that one

Lausanne -> Geneva (train): oh thank fuck, I 100% know where I am and am back on track. Sunglasses & 30 hours without sleep is a Look.

Geneva: Spend 3 hours with my mom, put a week’s worth of clothes into a considerably smaller suitcase, eat dinner. meet mom’s new kittens, Saga and Luna

Geneva -> Lyon (bus): Get confused about which bus to get on, get told off by the bus driver we were trying to convince to let us on his bus, realized mom had been trying to put me on the wrong bus. Get on the right bus. Go to Lyon with bus driver who speaks no French or English, only Spanish.

Lyon -> Barcelona (night bus): Hell. Just. Absolute Hell Bus. Wanted To Die all night. Assigned to aisle seat just before the very back next to a very, very tall man who was quite polite but had no room for his legs. Behind us were two men, one of whom was loudly chewing gum until he took off his shoes and fell asleep, the other of whom snored like a gd bulldozer. Aisle seat and wailing baby a few rows down meant that my chances of sleeping comfortably were 0. I did manage to doze off a bit, but only because I was so strung out from not sleeping the night before. Eventually made it to Barcelona alive and lent my phone to the very nice lady with the wailing baby (plus like 5 other family members, none of whom had cell service).

Barcelona -> Madrid (train): Absolutely gorgeous train ride through the Spanish countryside that I really did want to stay awake to enjoy. Managed to do so until we got to an elevation where it was just thick, dense fog and I let myself fall asleep.

Madrid: I arrived at my hostel groggy, dazed, and in pain from two bad nights in a row. I considered a nap, but also considered that I’d need to wake up early the next morning and would need to fall asleep. Opted to try to set up my COP25 blog instead. Failed due to aforementioned grogginess. Walked to the corner to get some food and tried to pay for it with Swedish kronor, which didn’t work. Apologized, explained to the amused man that it had been a long weekend, paid him in Euros instead. Used the hostel’s dry sauna (!!!!), took a shower, and went to bed.

COP25 - The Old White Fuckening

So, listen, I’m not going to go into detail about COP. If you want to read about how much of a tonedeaf clusterfuck the negotiations were (as opposed to the really interesting, inspiring stuff happening in the side sessions), BBC has some good articles.

If you want to listen to some of the press conferences and plenaries, here they are. I especially recommend the ones by the Women’s Earth and Climate Caucus, Fridays for Future, and as many of the Indigenous Peoples’ statements as you can (most of them are in Spanish and/or Portuguese. Because the COP was supposed to be held in Chile, many of the registered Indigenous participants were from Amazonas because it was supposed to not be far to travel).

If you want to listen to some of the side events, the webcasts have been recorded here. Click the link, and then click “Join the event.” I again recommend the ones by Indigenous groups (if you can understand them -- we all had translation headphones in the sessions, but I don’t speak Spanish, so I can’t really go back and revisit them). Also, this "feminist attempt at connecting the dots” on “climate crisis, corporate power, and climate finance” and this one session from a Nigerian NGO and the government about One Health and the connection between climate change, disease, and other health risks -- and how badass Nigeria is at tackling them.

On the subject of tonedeafness, some absolute bullshit went down on Wednesday, December 11th.

Here is the article on BBC, but it’s a bit incomplete.

Here’s what happened.

COP25 2: The Old White Fuckeninger (Starring Military Police!)

So on Wednesday, December 11th, Greta Thunberg -- environmental wunderkind with truly glorious bitchface -- sat on a panel before a hall full of condescending adults in which she demanded accountability and immediate action from national leaders.

At the end of her speech, the delegation of Fridays for Future -- Greta’s own youth movement, which has become a global phenomenon -- stormed the stage. Representatives of Fridays for Future admitted that they knew what they were doing was against the rules, and they were ready to face the consequences: having their admission badges taken away (being “debadged”), and not being blacklisted from future UNFCCC events.

Neither of these things happened. Instead, UNFCCC praised the young activists, and let them keep their badges.

A few hours later, another activist group in attendance -- not an Indigenous one, a point that was raised by a young Native American man during the Fridays for Future press conference -- staged a sit-in outside the main hall where a large plenary meeting was scheduled. Said meeting was full of gimmicks, including a live call to the International Space Station so an astronaut could talk about the view of climate change from space.

I was going to attend the plenary. I joined the protest instead.

Admittedly, the decision was partly made for me by security. After pushing, shoving, and jostling the (mostly adult, heavily Indigenous, mostly PoC, heavily female, heavily Queer) protesters, as well as violently snatching their badges off their lanyards, security started herding them -- as well as anyone in proximity -- out into the open docking area outside the hall. One woman nearby, who hadn’t meant to join the protest and who had just been filming, tried to duck out of the group and got sternly told by a security guard “No. Keep going forward. No turning back.” A similar thing had happened to me -- I hadn’t made up my mind about joining the protest, because I didn’t have all the information -- but security made the decision, and in the end, I’ll always prefer to be with the people facing the police rather than those they’re protecting.

It was... furious. It was emotional. The leaders of the protest had us form a circle and turn our backs on security and the door. WoC -- many of whom were Indigenous -- led not just standard protest chants, but songs. Renewal songs, fight songs. The common theme was the intersection of environmental justice and femininity, queerness and suffering under colonization, anti-capitalism, anti-exploitation, and a call for colonizers to repay the colonized for all of the loss and damage already caused by climate change (climate reparations).

Eventually, UNFCCC made a decision. They decided to close the door on us. Security “escorted” us to the docking bay entrance, and the military police took over. Fortunately, none of them started anything. Obviously, none of the protesters did either. We made it back to the venue entrance eventually, but only those with journalist/media badges were allowed back in; the rest of us were not. Even people with Observer badges (like mine) who hadn’t been part of the protest weren’t being allowed in. But some people who were panelists, delegates, etc. came out to stand in solidarity with us.

Once it became clear that no more joint actions would be taking place, I went home, and waited to see whether the negotiators would be able to talk UNFCCC into letting us back in.

They did. Can you imagine the headlines? “UNFCCC Kicks Out Protesters, Bars Civil Society Observers From Climate Talks.”

Talk about going down like a lead balloon.

Which is about what the conference in general did. I was able to go back and get some more stuff out of it... including another big protest, this time led by Fridays for Future and sanctioned. It was so, so good. Many of the people from Wednesdays protest were also there, and while spirits weren’t exactly high, the emotions being expressed were more along the lines of determination and tenacity than fire and fury. Both are valid, and both have their place, and it was nice to have a balance -- especially at the end of the week, when we were all flat-out exhausted.

The Aftermath

And then I just didn’t stop moving. Saturday and Sunday I spent exploring Madrid and staying out late, Monday I flew back to Geneva from Madrid (because absolutely fuck Spanish busses and also absolutely FUCK FRANCE’s weeks-long general strike that I’m sure was for something very important. I’m sure. Because France never strikes over trivial things).

Tuesday-Friday was a takehome exam that I swear to god was more labor-intensive than my actual undergrad thesis, and Saturday-Sunday I flew to London to visit my sister at her new job as an actor in Shrek’s Adventure. Mom was supposed to go with me, but she has a slipped disk and sent me up alone. Which was nice -- my sister and I almost never hang out just the two of us. But that’s another thing I’ve been dealing with -- quite a bit of extra Stuff To Do that Mom Can’t Do because Back Hurty and there have been days when she literally could not move.

But now I am here! I still have work to do, and it’s holidays so there’s Holiday Stuff happening, but I’m hoping to get back to writing here in the next few days.

And if you’ve read all of this, you’re fucking incredible and I love u and here are some one-eyed black babie kitty gremlins for ur viewing pleasure.

<-Saga | Luna ->

They’ve got little bare patches on their tummies because bbies gotta be spayed

They got this tower two days ago and have learned to share, but the learning curve was steep

Saga doesn’t like cuddles but she likes pats and being in the vicinity of humans

Saga says hello

Pictured: Luna in my arms, Saga in Proximity

Luna stole my Spot!! >:C

If Saga steals something and then tells u to answer a riddle to get it back pls let me know. she does that sometimes. it’s very naughty.

#ooc tag #long post #if u read thru to the end there's kitties :3 #or you can just look at the kitties #it's not like I'll know #anywhere that's where I've been #I have literally Not Fucking Stopped for like a month

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david3096 · 6 years

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Happy Birthday, Cyrus

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17751656

Happy Birthday, Cyrus.

Today I remembered the first afternoon you and I spent together. I don’t even know why, but all of a sudden, I was there again. In that Saturday, with the cold wind that made me forget we were in the middle of summer, the loneliness in the park, you, waiting next to that old tree with your nervous face, without knowing what to do with your hands or where to look at. I remember all this as if it really were important, no, that’s not what I wanted to say. I mean, as if it were Saturday, the cold wind or the old tree were really relevant in our story, as if by not remembering this, our past would change completely.

When I got near you, you told me that I looked pretty handsome, with a fearful smile in your face. I didn’t know what to say, I just smiled and blush, trying to control the urge to scream with happiness, trying to ignore the strong feeling in my stomach, the one I could never erase from my memory. Nor I can erase the image of that young and anxious Cyrus in front of me, the Cyrus that I fell in love with, the one that made me want to kiss him, the one I was afraid to confess everything that has always been obvious between us… but the only thing I could do was start talking about the weather. Of how the global warming surely was responsible for the cold wind, that the climate was less crazy when we were children, that we could do something to change it.

You heard each one of those words, as if you actually cared, as if it wouldn’t matter what came out of my mouth, the important thing was those thoughts were just for you. Only you.

Then, I dared to tell you, confess that I also felt nervous and you looked into my eyes, as if you couldn’t believe that T.J Kippen could feel anxious in front of you. For a few seconds, words weren’t necessary between us; we just looked at each other ant listened to the tranquility of the park in the middle of the afternoon.

And right now I’m looking at the scar that I made on my left knee, do you remember? I was using my favorite blue cap to hide my messy hair, you insisted that I looked better with my wild hair than with that stupid thing in my head. So, you took my cap off unexpectedly and we ran one after the other like little children, ignoring the looks of the few people in the park, feeling some burning in our lungs, laughing having fun being together. Until I fell.

You came running to my side and left my cap on the grass, scared to see a small blood stain on my pants. I tried to calm you down, telling you that this was normal, that I was used to seeing my knees bleed; and although it was true, it hurt horrible, maybe because of the blow, maybe because of the feeling of being ridiculed. You apologized three times and I told you that it was fine and decided to lie down for a while to look at the stars, so that my knee stopped hurting a little, to last a few more minutes together.

As an apology, you invited me to The Spoon for dinner, I don’t even remember what we ate, but I remember that we laughed like crazy, it was the first time I heard your strong, scandalous and ugly laugh that you are so ashamed of and that I like to listen to. And I also remember the waitress who watched us with sympathy, I like to think that when she saw us, she remembered her first love.

You ordered a slice of chocolate cake that neither of us liked, but we still share as if instead of being the first time we went out together to eat, it was our third anniversary.

When we realized that it was time your father would worry if you did not come back home, we went to your house, I did not even remember the cap we left in the park or the tiny drops of blood that occasionally came out of my knee. In my head I could only think that it would be the perfect opportunity to hold your hand and enjoy the rare summer night when we went out alone for the first time. But I was a coward, I'm still sorry for that.

We arrived at your house, remember? The lights in almost all the rooms were on and you told me you should go fast before anyone noticed that we were outside.

It seemed to be the perfect moment for which I had prayed so much to the universe, your face perfect and calm in front of me, once again you did not know where to put your hands, it seemed that your lips were as desperate as mine. I thought about finally telling you what you probably already knew, that I was dying to kiss you, that since I met you I couldn’t get you out of my mind, that I would like to be able to call you boyfriend.

And for a solid five seconds I thought I was going to do it.

But your father appeared at the door and looked at us as if for the first time in his life he realized that, in fact, his son is gay. Those were the most horrible and unbearable thirty seconds of my adolescence. Your father told us he was happy that you were here, that he would let us say goodbye and he went back into the house.

You looked at me one last time with something I could not decipher in your face and now that I think about it, I believe you were waiting for me to dare to do it, to kiss you so that uncomfortable moment with your father was worth the shame we went through, but I didn’t.

I was a coward, remember?

You smiled, I could see some sadness in your eyes, you hugged me and you said that you had had an incredible time, that you were sorry about my knee; I could see on your face that you remembered the cap that we left forgotten in the park, you promised me that you would buy me two new ones that I would like more I told you that there was no problem, that someone who cares a lot told me that I looked better with messy hair.

You smiled, with a blush barely visible in the darkness of the night and to my surprise, you kissed me on the cheek, tenderly, calmly and fleetingly. I watched you enter your house unable to process everything my body and mind were feeling, still with the warmth of your lips on my cheek, containing the desire to scream with happiness.

I never told you, but the smile and the tickling throughout my body lasted much more than a week and although my parents did not ask me anything, they noticed my new happier and effusive behavior.

That seems so far away, like our one-year anniversary, remember? Three days before you said you did not want to do anything special, that a dinner in a romantic restaurant, a box of chocolates, a bouquet of flowers and a thousand promises of eternal love did not sound like the best way to celebrate what we felt the one for the other. For me it wasn’t either.

So, that Friday, after my parents went to visit my grandmother, we spent the night locked in my room; We chose movies that we were sure the other one was going to hate and we saw each one of them, complaining all the time, eating too much pizza, drinking too much soda, stealing some wine that my father thought he had hidden, laughing, lips tired from so much kissing .

You told me about the things you pretended didn’t worry you, about how you felt that the future seemed to be separating you from so many people, that it was getting harder and harder to see Andi and Buffy, that you always talked in the group chat, but that you were not sure if that would be enough to remain the same as always.

And I told you that I was not going to give you the typical sermon that things are changing, that this is the way of life and that no matter what, you will always be friends, this isn’t my job, I told you. And you asked me what was my job then. And I hug you, your head in my chest. You listened to my heart beating and then I told you that my job is making you feel better, even if things are not going to stay the same.

You said that only my hugs could calm you like this, and finally, with a big sigh you told me what was actually bothering you.

Collage. You told me you were not sure if our relationship could work long distance, that maybe I would find someone much more interesting in one of my new classes, that you did not want me to stop for you, than in your head, the knew guy I fell in love was named Alex, and he’s intelligent, handsome and knows how to dance much better than you.

I held you tight and I told you, with all the security of the world, that anyone could dance much better than you. You laughed and gave me a light blow to the abdomen, I laughed a little too, thinking the perfect words to make you feel good. But before I could say anything, you said that if at this moment I wanted to finish things, we could do it.

I did not hesitate to tell you that you were crazy and that I would be stupid just considering leaving you for the handsome professional dancer named Alex. Little by little the fatigue was winning and you fell asleep in my arms. You looked so cute that I decided to take a few pictures of us, remember? That was the only photo that we framed and shortly after, I fell sleep too.

This is how we spent our first anniversary. And before we knew it, it was my time to go to college. You helped me pack the rest of my things, when the last box was in the car we both cried without saying much. And my parents looked at us with sadness and discomfort. I kissed you many more times than I could count and I told you that we would make this work, no matter what, that if necessary I would leave all my classes and came back to you. My parents were not happy to hear that, but they did not say anything.

You told me that you would never let me do that and just before getting into the car, I felt it was the right time to tell you all the feelings that had been inside my heart and mind over all our time together. The fear was there, but this time I did not cowered and I told you, loud and clear for the very first time I love you.

I think if you look carefully at my naked shoulder you can still see the mark of the punch you gave me as soon as the words came out of my mouth. You screamed at me that I had to be a stupid bastard to tell you this right now. Now that I was leaving for so long. And I just looked at you, more and more sure of my love.

When you were a little calmer, I told you that I thought it would be a romantic moment, one that I ruined because I had a little speech memorized from imagining this conversation between us.

You kissed me and for a moment all the worries disappeared, as if the real antidote for suffering was your lips in mine. When we separated, you told me that you would give me more time to improve the speech, that the next time we met I would tell you every part of it.

I entered the car and you asked me to call you as soon as I arrived at the university, you told me that you believe in me, that you knew that I could achieve all the goals that I wanted, that I better stay out of problems. At the end, still insecure about your words you told me, I love you too.

I looked at you one last time and we shared a last kiss, a little sweeter, faster and much, much sadder.

Remember? I bet that scene is as shameful to you as it is to me, maybe because now we are much older or maybe because the following year we decided to move to a small apartment near your university and close to mine.

It wasn’t easy at all. Dealing with college, work and living together for the first time was strange and complicated and stressful. We barely saw each other and when we did, you would watch some old program in the small living room and I would stay in our bedroom, listening to the radio at a barely audible volume, looking at the small piece of city that our window allowed, smoking like if that's what my life depended on.

But everything changed the day we discussed, in the most ridiculous way possible. It was Sunday almost midnight, you were watching TV, I had just finished smoking my last cigarette. The heat in the apartment was unbearable and for some reason I was dying to hear the sound of the rain. I turned off the radio, I did not even remember it was on and I decided to go with you. Maybe watch TV for a while, try to fix for the first time in these months the rare situation that we both try to ignore.

When I entered the room, I realized that you were asleep, curiously, the last this had happened it was raining. And we were not as bad as now. I carried you to bed, whispered in your ear how much I love you, enjoying the little and special moment together.

This time it was different, so I approached calm and slow to you, you looked so relaxed and innocent, as in those days when we started being boyfriends, for a few moments I yearned for that Cyrus and that TJ who knew everything to fix with kisses, pizza and occasionally stealing wine.

I didn’t know whether to sit by your side, take you to our room like the last time or maybe wake up and talk about how bad we are working now, to be able to get better before it's too late.

In the end, I devoted myself to contemplate your face a little more, listen to your snoring and listen to the man on television who offered glasses with which you could see the future, also gave a vest that would help you have a better body than Hercules. I believed him. Then I turned off the television, putting up with the urge to call and buy some glasses for our friends.

I decided to take you to bed like the last time and I could see in you at that moment the man I fell madly in love with, I remembered that once I told you that my job is making you feel better.

I thought that tomorrow I would make you a delicious breakfast before starting our chaotic day, ask you to talk about all the things that take us further and further away, confirm that I still love you and that will not ever change.

But unintentionally, I hit the coffee table with one leg and the vase that was in the middle with a sunflower was shattered. You opened your eyes violently. Anger was visible in your eyes, in your face, in your agitated breathing.

When I realized, it was impossible to stop, you were screaming and I was doing the same. We claimed postponed dinners that nobody remembered, hurtful comments that now didn’t seem so important, the first kiss that I couldn’t dare to give you in our first afternoon together, the slices of pizza that you ate without asking me before if I wanted them, the dirty clothes watered by the department, the unbearable smell of the cigar in our sheets.

When it was over, when the rage was expelled from our body and our lungs ran out of oxygen, when our hearts beat faster and faster and everything indicated that this was our end, we burst out laughing. Exactly the same as our first night in this hellish apartment, but this time we did not drink wine, nor celebrate the beginning of a new life. We were just there, unable to stop laughing, almost naked, sweaty and imperfect.

I was the first one to apologize, you took my hand and said there was nothing to forgive, but you also apologized and then I kissed you. I could feel that energy that we always radiated when we were together locked in your room trying not to make a lot of noise so that your father would not realize that we had stopped watching TV for a long time and we were kissing and touching in a way probably not very appropriate for our age.

We did not say anything else, we gave ourselves to the kisses, to the touch so different and special, your hands rubbing my body once again, your seductive, charming and shy look at the same time, that night we were again the Cyrus and T.J from before, but, somehow, different.

Do you remember, Cy? After that night our lives began to be much better, there was no need to miss the teenagers we once were, the quietest restaurants in the city began to be ours once again, seeing Andi, Buffy and Jonah was starting to be fun again.

Our life together was on his way, the magic we thought we lose the past year was again with us, stronger than ever.

Do you remember my twenty-fifth birthday? We organized a small dinner in the restaurant that we knew all our guests were going to hate except us, to our surprise, everyone showed up. Happy to celebrate with you such an important age. Even your parents and my parents were there.

It was not the most elegant place, or the quiet and relaxing dinner that I expected to have only by your side, but you convinced me that on the weekend we could have our own celebration, order some food to a even less expensive restaurant, watch some horror movie and drink the bottle of wine we were saving for a special occasion.

The night was full of questions for both of us, that if our new jobs were better, than if the new apartment was actually good, that if we ever thought about moving to a bigger house, that getting married was not an obligation, but it would not be bad to give one or another grandson to our proud parents.

You looked at me, unsure of answering those important questions, questions we had never dared to ask between us. Of course, we had fantasized about that beautiful house in Italy, where you would write all the books and poems you could and I would paint some beautiful paintings or draw, we would make our own jam and we would buy that toaster that you always wanted to have, although we hate jam and toasted bread. We would have a piano, in that perfect image, we both knew perfectly how to play it. And there would be enough space to increase our small family of two.

When we were back home, lying in bed ignoring the same cheap infomercial of the perfect glasses that could see the future, those that we still had unopened in a box, we decided to talk about all that our parents and friends had been asking for a while. The only issue that had been important that night. We realized that this beautiful house in Italy would not be easy to get, that we could not keep up with my paintings because I cannot even paint a wall well and that writing is one of your great passions but you could do it anywhere in the world.

I kissed you and you kissed me, then, as if we were fools, we realized that maybe that fantasy could never become real, nor would I learn to paint, nor will you write your masterpiece in the middle of the night on some beach in Italy, nor play the piano at dawn.

But we could get a nice house outside the city, with a large garden, we would listen to the radio at midnight and we would continue to see useless infomercials, getting married did not sound like the craziest idea in the world, having a child sounded like an impossible adventure to achieve. But all this, by your side is worth trying. You kissed me again after I told you this, remember?

That night we slept embraced, it was already quite clear, the second part of our life together was beginning.

And now that I remember this, I do not know why, my memory is filled with images of the first birthday we spent together as boyfriends. remember? I think it was six months after that first summer afternoon that I almost dared to kiss you, a few days after celebrating our three-month anniversary.

A few days before, between our anniversary and your birthday, I asked you what would be the perfect gift, my neurons died thinking about the perfect gift for our little anniversary and I still feel pathetic for having given you chocolates. You told me that no matter what the gift was, it would be special because it was from me.

So, I decided to give you the ugliest and worn basketball I could find among my things and when you admitted that you hated it, I would give you your real gift, that book that your parents had refused to buy. After so long I can’t remember the damn name, but I remember that your parents thought it was a book not suitable for your age, if only they knew the things that we did locked up in my room...

Actually, it was good that they never found out, although we both know perfectly well that they suspected it.

So, the big day came, I arrived half an hour late, trying to wrap up the horrible fucking ball, but it was useless. So when you opened the door and I gave you your birthday present, it was a real disappointment to see your face full of joy, to hear your sincere happiness to thank me for the gift, how much you boasted the ball with your friends and family.

At first everyone looked at you like you were crazy, but then you explained that that ball was the one with which I learned to play basketball, that my parents gave it to me, that it had spent so much time with me that it was beginning to be an invaluable object.

Everyone looked at the ball as something special and I looked at you incredulous because I did not think you would remember the history of my old basketball. Even, the last time you told the story, I thought it would have been a better gift that ball than the stupid book.

When people finally left your house and your parents went out to buy Chinese food for dinner, I showed you the book and told you about my evil plan that had gone to waste because of how much you liked the ball. You kissed me and you told me I was a fool for trying to scare you on your birthday, I told you that I was definitely a fool, but for not believing in your words.

You laid your head on my lap and talked about your party, about some of your cousins who were here and I do not remember seeing, how much you liked the cake of the new bakery near The Spoon, that if my plan had worked It would have been really funny.

You asked me how I imagined our life would be in ten years and I told you that if it was by your side, I would not care much where or how we were, together we would always be happy.

And now, we're here, ten years later.

I can’t believe that so much time has passed, nor do I believe that eight months ago we dared to do something that we never thought would happen.

Do you remember our last night in the good apartment? Boxes still empty, packing all those things that meant our lives, thinking about what destiny would bring us after this important decision, this decision that would change us forever.

I asked you exactly three times if we were ready to do this, if we would really dare to do it and the three times you said yes. Then I saved my words and did not tell you that if at some point you regretted it, we could stop.

That night we slept on the floor.

When I woke up the last boxes of our life together were gone, and so were you, and the life that I thought we had built on strong foundations of steel. Everything disappeared with no return, finally, the luck of a coward run out. The time by your side ceased to exist.

And now it's your birthday once again. I have next to me the musical box with your favorite song, your name engraved and the words "I love you" that I thought to give you today and I have in my hands the ring that I would have give you on our tenth anniversary, when I would ask you to marry me

I don’t even know what happened, nor how it was possible that we destroyed our lives together in such a short time, I do not understand that this time, really, we are not victorious and loving each other. Damn it, I do not even know if this damned message is still being recorded on your voicemail.

I'm drunk, really, really, really drunk, but I know you noticed when you start hearing my voice, when you hear me remember our whole life together and I know that, every time I asked you if you remembered something, you would have tell me with a smile that it would be impossible to forget all this , even if you tried hard to do it.

I do not even know what to tell you.

I hope you are well and I want to apologize for never having told you the speech of my love for you and for never having improved it. I just wanted to tell you that from the moment I met you, I knew that eventually I would love you, even if you did not feel the same as me. That you are the only man that I will truly love, that you were, you are and you will always be the perfect man of my life.

I think it’s time to stop, before I tell you that my life has no meaning without you or that the stars have lost their light since I'm not with you. You know I hate that kind of crap.

I guess I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry, for not daring to kiss you that summer afternoon, for breaking the vase that your grandmother gave you, for not asking you to stay with me eight months ago. For remaining the same coward that leaves you a voice message instead of going out looking for you...

Happy birthday, Cyrus, wherever you are, happy birthday.

I miss you.

When the message was over, when his eyes could finally stop looking at the only picture they framed, Cyrus looked at the window and said I miss you too

#Andi Mack #tyrus #tyrus fanfic #tj kippen #cyrus goodman #fanfic #mine

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octranslations · 7 years

Text

Haiiro no Ginka Volume 49

Haiiro no Ginka vol. 49 December 2010

Translation Credits:

Gansonaki Kaoruya - Cammie Die Meisyo De Meisyu - Cammie Rick Meets THE UNWAVERING FACT OF TOMORROW TOUR 2010 Nora Meets THE UNWAVERING FACT OF TOMORROW TOUR 2010 Shinya Dr. nemunemu no daigyakusyu - Risu Toshiya Aibiki no Mori - Risu Mu No Koufuku, Sanretsusha To Kubi/Happiness of Nothing The Assembled Neck - kirei_hukkatsu edited by Cammie

Gansonaki Kaoru-ya

Is everyone doing all right? This is Kaoru who became exhausted from drinking and fell asleep in the dressing room during KORN's show.

Now, we returned to Japan and our Japan tour has just about begun. This time, for personal things, I've changed my set up for monitor and I feel refreshed. There are still improvements and need to work harder, but I think I can continue on with a good feel. By the way, for 10/28 Shinkiba, Rick didn't arrive to the venue until 2 hours before the show, and I didn't know what was going to happen. From now on, we'll be touring the western area, so I wonder how that will go. I look forward to it and I will do my best!

And the single is finally getting released. We've made you guys wait for a long time. The song itself was recorded around spring this year, but as we thought about our schedule and decided on the release, it took more time since our previous work. And we're reconstructing the beginning SE part for OBSCURE, so once that's done, I guess we can use it for the tour right away.

Also, for recent things I've done, I've been writing songs, watching films, and getting stabbed for places where my ink isn't finished. This is something trivial, but I have an urge to eat liver sashimi 1. I can eat it every day. But since it's too much of a hassle to go eat, I haven't eaten any at all. I'll eat it in Fukuoka.

There isn't much content, but around the next issue, I'll work hard in the making so that I can talk about the album! So see ya! Recently, I watched the film, "The Boy in Striped Pajamas". Please watch it. I want to go watch "Lemmy".

Translator’s Note 1. Liver sashimi or ???? (leba sashi) is cow liver sliced thinly like sashimi, which is served with salt or sesame oil.

Meisyo de Meisyu

DIR EN GREY ambassador. Many times the staff overseas describes Die this way, and even during this summer's U.S. tour, he spent the days doing "meisyo de meishu (drinking good sake at famous places) with his friends". Yet these scenes are fishy from the actual person's memory. This time, I, Yuichi Masuda, who went out to drink together in London during the U.K. tour, and who tripped on the street with blood running from the forehead, which was witnessed by him (Die), will report as much as I can remember.

After the show, there was an after show party hosted by the local radio station at the venue, and we drank together with APOCALYPTICA members and staff and had a pleasant chat. Cellist Eicca said, “My body is finally getting used to this tour and I’m gradully getting into better shape.” That night Die saw APOCALYPTICA’s stage from the beginning to the end for the first time, and he told them, “The live was full of waves and I didn’t get tired of watching.” Eicca and the other members smiled in satisfaction. However, the one who increases strangeness after being drunk is one of the band’s founder and cellist Perttu. As Die said, “He looks like he can show up in ‘Pirates of the Caribbean,’” the other cellist and the eldest member Paavo (who has a routine of jogging around the venue surrounding before the live) laughed, “No, he’s more Jack Sparrow than the actual Jack Sparrow.” But this Pirate Perttu who is usually cool and destructive on stage, was quite worn out that night.

In between sound check, Die, Kaoru, Perttu, and Paavo had a discussion style interview. This will be shown on the music magazine December issue of “Player”, which was released on 11/2, so don’t miss out. Naturally, everyone was sober during the interview. THe conversation went into a broad area, but parts like, “We’re bands that aren’t tied down in genre,” “It feels strange for a Finnish band and Japanese band to tour together in the U.S. and speak in English,” and “Let’s do something interesting together some day” came into agreement. From Perttu’s mouth, a word of wisdom was said: “By doing aggressive music, I’m able to maintain peace within myself.”

Die took Jeremy, a local friend that came to see the live, to a pub nearby the venue. He originally was a staff for BULLETS AND OCTANE, and he now has a job affiliated to Minnesota Timberwolves, which is a NBA team based in Minneapolis. On the actual day, there was a local Twins game in the baseball field, so the place was like a sports bar. For the game, Twins lost after extra innings. Yet regardless of the result, the local people continued their boisterous drinking party, and the two of them also fitted right in and continued to talk.

1 month after the U.S. tour, on 10/16 late night, Die was drinking together with Roy Mayorga and Ray Luzier in the city of Giroppon (Roppongi). The first person is a drummer for STONE SOUR and the second person is the drummer for KORN, and this party was held after the first night of “LOUD PARK 10” ended, which DIR EN GREY also attended. Die told Roy, “Our drummer Shinya is very inspired by you.” Then, he (Roy) answered back, “I’m honored. But what is the meaning of that Shinya being absent (laughs)?” As I explained, “It’s late at night and he is probably ‘nemunemu’ (sleepy head),” but I could not make him understand this. In this global drinking party, it continued until dawn while expanding the circle of people. At 7 in the morning next day, Roy was supposed to be leaving for departure from the hotel, but as usual (?), he didn’t get any sleep and he went inside the car as if nothing was wrong. He was indeed a world-class “master of Meisyo de Meisyu”.

As I got the report from Mr. Masuda, I conducted a questionnaire to Die in-between planning meeting about the various scenes!

-According to Mr. Masuda’s memo... “There was a live on 9/1 House of Blues in Chicago. After the show, there was an after-show party hosted by the local radio station where you were drinking together with the APOCALYPTICA members and staff,”but is there a party like this every time the live is over? Die: If there was time, there was always a party. And another party! The night view in Las Vegas was electrifying!

-On that night, Die-san saw APOCALYPTICA’s stage from the beginning to the end for the first time, but what kind of live was it? Die: This love~ this love?

- “On 9/21, there was a live in Minneapolis. In-between sound check, Die, Kaoru, Perttu, and Paavo had a discussion style interview conducted.” This was the interview on “Player” (December issue) that was released on 11/2. After doing an interview with the members of APOCALYPTICA for the first time, how was it? Die: They’re serious.

- There is a memo that says, “Naturally, they were all sober during the interview” (laughs), but do you drink a lot with the other band during overseas TOUR? Die: For this tour, I had the chance to drink with Rick a lot. I can never forget the night of Boston; when the live was over, Rick was in a really good mood, and he took me to a BAR, and we drank down Jägermeister. The next day, I was throwing up until the live was about to start, and even when I took the medicine the staff prepared, I would throw up right away. Fear Jäger power (?’ 3’)=3 burp

-During the interview, you guys talked from the perspective of “genre” and “country”, but before this discussion, did you have this kind of deep talk with the APOCALYPTICA members? Die: I don’t remember because I was drunk.

- Here, I would like to ask something more general, but what is something fun for Die-san during the overseas TOUR?

Die: ???

-On the contrary, is there something tough or sad?

Die: …(- _ -)

-When you TOUR around together with another band, is there something you feel when you spend your days with them?

Die: They really love Jäger.

- Mr. Masuda’s memo says, “After the Minneapolis live was over, Die took Jeremy, a local friend that came to watch the show, to a pub nearby the venue”... but how long have you known Mr. Jeremy? His photo actually has appeared on vol. 41! Die: I met him in 2006 during the “FAMILY VALUES TOUR”. Since then, every time we come to do a U.S. tour, he would come and see us.

- He “now has a job affiliated to Minnesota TImberwolves, which is a NBA team based in Minneapolis.” right? Die: Yes.

-Die-san also likes baseball right? Die: V4 didn’t come true1.

-Now, there is one more thing remaining. “Extra. 1 month after the U.S. tour was over, on 10/16 late night, Die was drinking with Roy Mayorga and Ray Luzier in the city of Giroppon (Roppongi). The first person is a drumer for STONE SOUR and the second person is the drummer for KORN, and this party was held after the first night of “LOUD PARK 10” ended, which DIR EN GREY also attended.” That must’ve been quite a night with these great people, but how did this happen? Die: From Roy’s words: “Meet at Roppongi.”

-It seems that Shinya-san became a topic of conversation while speaking with Mr. Roy...?

Die: I was drunk and I don’t remember. Sorry, Shinya-san.

-You met KORN’s drummer, Mr. Ray, for the first time, but how did that go?

Die: He’s quiet and kind.

-On the LOUD PARK 10 website’s video comment, KORN’s Mr. Jonathan mentioned “DIR EN GREY” for the artist he wanted to watch at LOUD PARK! Die: Jonathan’s favorite songs is “?-saku -.

-Die-san, you had a chance to speak with Mr. Jonathan backstage, but what kind of things did you talk about?

Die: MM

-As Die-san continues to drink with members and staff whom you did an overseas TOUR together, how do you communicate with other bands? If there are any secrets... Die: Power of Jäger.

-Lastly, there was something I was curious about Mr. Masuda’s memo: “Recently, during the UK tour in London, I drank together, tripped on the street and my forehead was bleeding... All this was witnessed by him”... What exactly happened (laughs)? Die: He also must have been attacked by a Jäger bomb. By the time I looked back, he fell over face-down w(°o°)w Be careful, Masuda-san!

-This was “Meisyo de Meisyu” overseas. Will this still continue here on after? I look forward from here on after on who you will have a “Meisyo de Meisyu”.

Die:

Translator’s Note 1. Die is referring to the Japanese baseball team, Yomiuri Giants that could not make V4 (winning 4 times in a row for a baseball series).

For the domestic TOUR that started on 10/15, we welcomed our PA and tour manager Rick and translator Nora-san whom we are familiar with from the overseas TOUR.

For these 2 people that know DIR EN GREY overseas, we conducted a sudden interview to find out about the difference from Japan. RICK meets THE UNWAVERING FACT OF TOMORROW TOUR 2010

—Participating on this Japanese TOUR, is there any difference you feel between Japan and overseas, Rick-san?

For me, the biggest difference was the schedule. Japan is very organized about it. For example... We will be doing this at this time. The U.S. is very flexible and depending on the situation, we have to make adjustments. Also, the number of staff involved! For the TOUR in U.S., we tour with the members, myself, and 2 techs, but there are around 30 people for staff for the TOUR in Japan... That may be the biggest difference.

— I see. Is there a clear difference between the staff overseas and Japan?

There are many things with LIVE overseas where there are many promoters, and with those people, we of course have a proper FES or not have one. For example, when we went to SONISPHERE FESTIVAL in the U.K. this time, everything was displayed well and it was easy to work, but DOWNLOAD was a FES in the same U.K., but I did not have a good feeling with the affiliates and the local staff, and there were many problems. On that point, LOUD PARK that was just held in Japan was a good environment and the staff were good and perfect! Production is Japan is perfect. I feel that the characteristic of Japan is being too perfect...

—I can see how the Japanese characteristic is showing up (laughs). From Rick-san’s perspective, are there any difference between members overseas and in Japan?

(Laughs). Everyone is basically the same! Comparing to the members whom I met 4 years ago, there are parts where they grew up. Die became very sociable and he is very active interacting with everyone. I guess Kaoru changed the most. He was so serious! But now, he interacts with everyone. For example, he changed when he orders a meal at a restaurant. He now starts talking to local people. Before, he would talk through Nora, but recently since they have been able to do things on their own more, I guess there is a part where they are getting used to the actual place (overseas). At first they seemed timid but their personality is basically the same whether they are overseas or Japan. I think they are starting to understand how to live every day overseas.

—So the members’ performing does not change whether they are in Japan or overseas... right?

Yep! They play 100 percent overseas or Japan! They are completely ROCK(ing) out on stage. There really is no difference. Of course, Japan may be better for stage, equipment, lighting, and staging, but I guess that is it. Overseas, there is a budget issue, and many times we cannot do things completely, but as a band, their standing towards LIVE remains the same.

—The conversation is going to digress a little bit but... Rick-san, you have come to Japan numerous times and what do you think of the country?

This is my 11th time coming to Japan but I love it very much! When I applied for visa, I had to find out how many times I went to Japan before and I took a look at my old passport to find out that I went to Japan 14 times. I first came here in 1985 with a band called KEEL, but Japan during that time is different from today. Now, foreigners can live here more easily. Japanese are very polite, quick, and many people like to be tidy, so I’m always inspired by them. Ah, and the food in Japan is wonderful.

—Going back to what we talked before... How is the live house in Japan for Rick-san? You must have experience with the live house capacity we are touring this time in overseas too.

Overall, the venue equipment is better in Japan. The 2000 seat capacity venue is incomparable between Japan and U.S.! For a 2000 capacity venue, the band in the U.S. needs to bring in their PA, lighting equipment when they go on TOUR. Really, live house with this capacity in the U.S. doesn’t have equipment built in (laughs). What I thought of Shinkiba STUDIO COAST is that this equipment is the best in the world!! Regarding PA!! With FES(tival), we are using places that have a good equipment set up so I have an easy time working with it, but between the equipments in small venues in Japan and U.S., there is a real difference. Even if you compare Europe to Japan, the level (of equipment) is still below.

—So for Rick-san, Japan is very easy to work!! Is that what you are trying to say?

Of course!! If I just tweak on the (PA) board, it’s perfect (laughs).

—What do you think of the TOUR environment in Japan? You always have to stay and sleep on the bus for overseas as you TOUR various major cities...

Japan is... I guess the move can be pretty annoying (laughs). In the U.S., we’re on the bus the whole time and at times it can be tough, but there is an environment that allows us to have our own time; and, despite the small space, we can just spend the way there where we can rest when we want to, play games when we want to, and it feels like we’re on TOUR together with our home. When we return to the bus, sleep, and wake up, we would be in a different city (laughs). Since we can use the Internet on the bus, they are able to know what is going on in Japan too. Although when we go to mountain areas, the connection gets lost. The world is becoming a smaller place because of the Internet. Even if you are apart from your family, if you have the Internet, you can contact them. My role overseas is to reserve hotels, and including TOUR planning, I don’t really know whether I’m a manager or a sound tech (laughs). From touring many cities for many hours with the members all over the world, I feel that they know their circumstance no matter how many staff there are, and they know what needs to be done. We went to Russia for the first time this year and it was really great. With that in mind, I’m going to say again that Japan is an easy place to do!

—Even when I listen to what you’re saying, I understand that Japan is a fortunate environment. No matter how much the environment changes, in a good way, DIR EN GREY will always be DIR EN GREY! Now this is going to be the last part, so I would like a word from Rick-san for the members!

I always say this to the members: “Keep it heavy” (laughs). I appreciate being able to come to Japan with DIR EN GREY as a reason, and after being together with them for few years, we were able to gain many experiences and I really appreciate them. Coming to Japan this time, there were old songs that I heard for the first time, and there were songs that I thought, “That’s cool.” The old songs were created just as good as the current songs, so in a good way, it’s something that’s unchanging for them. That’s important. I don’t want them to be sidetracked from what they want to do where it should be likely of DIR EN GREY. I look forward to the next album and what is to come in the future!

—Thank you very much during your busy time!

Ah, this is a question but... why is the venue in Japan so hot (laughs)? Isn’t there any air conditioner?

NORA meets THE UNWAVERING FACT OF TOMORROW TOUR 2010

—Participating on the Japanese TOUR this time, is there any difference between Japan and overseas, Nora-san?

There is no difference with staging. There is difference with equipment and lighting, but basically, the atmosphere overseas and Japan are completely the same. The members may feel more weight overseas, but on stage, that doesn’t affect them.

—Are you saying that they are themselves whether they’re overseas or Japan?

Basically, yes. But for the members, the most difficult part is language barrier. I don’t think Rick is concerned too much about it, but Rick and the people over there will directly tell the members, “This was good today.” Everyone says this in a straightforward manner and the members receive it the same way, and I think that is a very stimulating thing too. At times they may not understand the words, but the people’s reaction and action are conveyed to them. At first, the members wouldn’t even try to communicate to the people overseas; but recently, even when they don’t know the language, they smile or greet where they’re able to have some communication. There’s also a member that is studying hard to learn the language (laughs). The bands that tour with them overseas are also interested in Japanese culture, and the members see that the other people are trying to understand them, so I think that’s why they are being like “Let’s try to communicate!” Despite the language barrier or feel stressed on a personal level, at the actual site, they don’t let that show. I’m amazed how they’re doing a normal TOUR no different from Japan.

—Rick-san mentioned this too, but they’re doing the things they need to do 100 percent no matter where they are, which is why there’s no difference. Now, is there any difference with fans? Is there something Nora-san sees where you feel, “This is different!”?

The members get asked about the difference between Japanese and overseas fans a lot, but I think the passion towards DIR EN GREY is the same for both. If I were to raise one thing it would be the way they get into the LIVE. For example, the Japanese fans don’t do this, but around the beginning of “dead tree”, the U.S. and overseas fans would be dancing! I’ve never seen that in Japan, so that would be a clear difference. It seems likely of Japanese... They are very quiet for quiet songs. They try to react by matching to the style of the song. Also, the unity of Japanese fans is amazing!

—Rather than enjoying individually, there may be an aspect where they enjoy the unity.

Yes. But I think the love towards the band is the same.

—So from what Nora-san sees, is there any difference between the members in Japan and overseas?

H-m... I don’t think the members themselves change, but since the environment is different, the members act differently. For example, everyone is living in a small space overseas. That would be different in Japan. When we’re overseas, Rick or myself take care of everything for the members, so we can see how they are but... When I’m in Japan, I work separately from the members, so I don’t know too much, but observing the current atmosphere, I feel that the atmosphere in Japan is heavier.

—Rather than “heavy”, is it more “serious”?

Yes!! Japan is home for them too. I don’t think they are yearning for perfection overseas... Not for staging but towards their environment. The lifestyle is completely different from Japan, so there is a feel where they are doing their best at a different environment. In Japan, since this is their home, they’re tyring to exert the greatest thing so I think that’s why they’re being serious. So there isn’t anything different about the members and it has to do with the difference of environment.

— They’re uncompromising because they’re from Japan. Perhaps that’s why from Nora-san’s eyes, they seem to have a “heavy” atmosphere. Do you feel that way with the members approach towards the Japanese fans?

Basically, their stance towards the fans don’t change, but I can really understand how the Japanese fan is their base. No matter how tired he may be after a LIVE, Toshiya will be writing a DIARY (entry), and he may be thinking all day about what photo to post and then take the actual photos. Everyone constantly checks the news in Japan and they want to show them where they’re going, so they would take photos for the newsletter or report their first-time experience even when they’re away (laughs).

They get inspired when they go overseas and I think they’re digesting what they have experienced so that they create songs for the fans. They may be away from home, but I think they are getting inspired in order to create good songs and then return to Japan. No matter how many times they go overseas, the first place they release their CD is in Japan!

—I’m going to change the topic, but what left you an impression while you were touring around Japan?

That would definitely by LOUD PARK for LIVE. There was a lot of hard work but it left me an impression. The LIVE left me an impression but the audience left a bigger impression. People that weren’t fans of DIR EN GREY were watching their stage seriously. This is the same as the FES overseas and TOUR that they aren’t headlining, and I always try to find people watching them that aren’t fans. LOUD PARK this time is the same as the festival overseas, and it has made me think that there may be people that newly became fans. Personally, being able to watch the stage from the beginning to start was very good for me. When I’m overseas I have to communicate about the monitor, so I can only see them from the side and listen to the first 3 songs, and I have never seen them on stage properly! This time I was able to watch them for the first time and I was able to experience what the audience feel.

— What were your thoughts after watching them properly?

Well— They’re great after all (laughs). It’s intense watching them from the side, but I could feel the heaviness that Rick always says. I watched them from the front; the lighting and staging were great, and I was finally able to see what DIR EN GREY wanted to convey. Also, when I saw “VINUSHKA” during LOUD PARK, when Kyo raised his hand, everyone on the floor also raised their hands... I was very moved. I felt great unity too. You can’t really see that overseas!!

— This is going to be the last part but please tell us your thoughts about this TOUR!

Thank you very much for letting me follow the Japanese tour as staff! Watching the staff supporting the band under different circumstance from overseas and feeling the passion from Japanese fans directly, I felt moved and refreshed. I learned a lot from watching DIR EN GREY from the front since I usually watch them from the side. I really want the members to work hard in Japan and overseas! I look forward to the next place where another challenge awaits them, and it’s a pleasure working with them.

ShinyaDr. nemunemu no daigyakusyu

Hello everyone. This is Nemunemu and let's begin today. So I am currently writing this [column] in the fall. Speaking of Fall, it's a season of the palate. So this time for this year's custom tradition of hunting for taste/food, I went and picked chestnuts.

Indeed it looks like a town where chestnuts fall. Dr. Nemunemu's wild/animal instinct is at work. As you normally walk on a road you'd immediately see chestnuts on the roadside!

But my relief was still early. When I went for a closer look,

As expected crows or something had eaten everything inside and left the cone/burrs. But of course just knowing that there are chestnuts in this town is already a big catch/harvest. As I walked further on the road, there were more fallen chestnuts.

But of course this area has a terrain where crows can easily land so as expected only cones/burrs were left.

When I walked further I discovered a place that looked like an animal trail.

Nemunemu's wild/animal instinct suddenly pinged so I went further deeper into the trail. Then of course there it was!

A huge amount of chestnuts.

Of course it was still in an untouched condition.

I immediately started picking. But here I realized a big mistake as Nemunemu. I forgot my cotton work gloves eventhough I was going to pick chestnuts. Since I had no work gloves I used my bare hands to take the chestnuts out of the cone/burrs, I only picked as much until my hands hurt a lot.

So I brought the chestnuts home but I didn't know how to prepare/cook it so when I was staring at the chestnut, I drew on it without thinking.

This is a slime.

Since I drew a slime, I couldn't help but draw this.

This is King Slime. The Royal Order ring is the just the right size. Then I couldn't stop and I drew faces on all of the chestnuts that I picked.

That night in my dream I was attacked by chestnuts.

And so I will end this Nemunemu column here. This time since drawing faces on the chestnuts attacked my physical vigor there won't especially be any presents. I am accepting your comments so write down your member id, address, name, age, telephone number, Nemenumu Hakase no Daigyakyusu comment (better if long) and send it to ?105-8799 Nihon Yuubin Shiba Shitendome "a knot" Nemunemu kuri no kakari. The previous winner is No.XXXXX XXXXX-san. Congratulations.

Toshiya Aibiki no Mori

This time I am posting pictures that weren't posted in the Korea, Russia, England, North America DIARY. Well here it is!

1 This is personally the first time I felt that Yakiniku is delicious in Korea 2 This is the town that I saw from the hotel where we stayed in. 3 I ate breakfast with Ms.NAMIKI

1 This is the borscht and blini caviar that we ate at Moscow Airport. But ikura (salmon roe) came out... It seems that in Russia, cavier is a generic term for fish eggs. 2 It seems that Saint Petersburg Airport is written?! 3 Underneath the lobby table at the hotel where we were staying were black painted matryoshkas...

1 500yen water sold at Narita Airport. 2 Shrimp that I ate at SPARKS STEAK HOUSE. 3 Everyone ate while do a meeting. 4 Mr.CARL who did/sold the merchandise during this North America tour.

5 Japan's shame 6 Wonder if you can still ride this? 7 8 Parfait and hamburger that I ordered in LAS VEGAS.

9 Ramen that I ate in LAS VEGAS. 10 11 This is Red Bull. On the right is the 275yen size sold in Japan. On the left is the real/indiluted RED BULL. 12 LAS VEGAS nightscape

13 Exercise machine that I bought at the mall. 14 15 This is frozen durian. Probably not going to eat this again. 16 We chartered (laughs)

1 Arrived in the airport, this is Mr.HARUNA and Mr.GEORICE inside the car on the way to the hotel. 2 As for the hotel room, Mr.Shinya and I were in the same room but when we entered the room there was only one bed... 3 House in front of the hotel.

4 This is dinner. The pasta here is the best! It was so good that Mr.Shinya and I went to eat there after. 5 After this Mr.GEORGE will be picked up by the police...

1 After I came back home I went and watched METALLICA. 2 3 For several years I've been suffering from tenosynovitis [inflammation of the tendon sheath].Thanks to Ms.OKADA's needles [acupuncture], I could do the TOUR.

Well, this year is already over. Have you listened to "Warushawa no Gensou"? I think that we will also deliver new songs next year so please wait!

So, let's meet on the next "Aibiki no Mori"! Have a great year!!

Mu no koufuku, Sanretsusha to kubi/ Happiness of nothing, the assembled and the neck

I am different... I am not here... I wonder if I have fever, my eyes are getting swollen I feel as if I am drunk or have caught a cold I don’t know I, who understand the fact of what I’m doing, but kill time with indifference I am not trying to justify myself There are no lies in my feelings/in what I feel

My neck has gotten stiff

Now I am floating Now I am floating The mind floats and raises the body Summer is hot The sweat is bitter, I'm tired of it now Fusion in confusion, there is nothing

Mr.Sun, won't you please melt the ideals and the reality, which cannot go on as they would like to?

From neck to bottom, maybe I am just a flesh now. I don’t understand my mind. Who is it? Is it me? I don't know, but it's probably me... No, you do understand right? Yes I understand and what I need to do hasn’t changed. I'll hold myself from answering my own questions about what I should do from now on.

So now I wish to rest1 Good night

Translator’s Note 1. The rest here also implies that he wants to have a temporary break from what he is doing right now.

#haiiro no ginka

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driftwork · 3 years

Text

Ten or Twelve years more or less and a woman in a hat flies from Tokyo to London... (1)

They know little or perhaps even nothing about what they are doing. The research they did not do would horrify them for days and months afterwards. This is Seo, leaving meetings, and heading towards the airport, to travel from one continent to another... This is the long month long moment when they completed the becoming major from gangsters to capitalists. She already understands herself, themselves as normal and define every difference from this as divergent from the norm. By the end of these hat stories she will be a normal woman of the state. She already is of course, but at this moment when she is leaving meetings and heading to the airport, to travel across continents, she doesn’t know this. The transition did not mean that they were any less criminal at the end of the transition than at the beginning. Everything that happened before this is excluded. At this starting moment she and the world thought of her only as an upper class woman. An owner. There is no need for a preamble, after months of negotiation, analysis and the establishment of the prototypes. The draft documents are signed. The criminals watched the Chinese get into their car and stood in the doorway as they drove off, out of the drive and along the bay road. The cars headlights fading across the bay, the arc of the road, the shoreline and the cliffs of the nature reserves... She will be spend a still unknown number of days in London. She is sitting in the plane, she has taken off her hat, charcoal grey with colourful icons and chevrons. my first mother said if I wore this hat, I should be certain to get off with the right sort of man, Well, look where I am now, on a desert island, here I am now leaving Tokyo, my second mother may be causing me to die, wearing this hat... The first class cabin is mostly shades of grey and blue, the surrounds of the seats are beige, Neutral colours that hide the complex machinery from casual view. They fly out of Tokyo and are already cruising northwards. northwards. Her two companions are already asleep. They are all exhausted after the last few days. She should be, but is living on her nerves. The woman knows that neither her sister nor the man she lives with have left the locality in which they live for years. Though she knows more about their everyday activities now than when she had first flown to London to see her, still they remain almost invisible. The reason why they are visible at all does not occur to her. This may seem unimportant in this story of a woman travelling from Tokyo to London, accompanied by the only two people she really trusts and loves in the world, but still, since, the purpose of the passage from Tokyo to London is to beg forgiveness and ask for favors it seems important to acknowledge how little she understood of what motivates her sister to stay constrained, imprisoned in one place rather than to vanish. So here we are its a nice day in September, autumn will be approaching by the time she arrives in London and she is desperately hoping that the winter that follows doesn't end up with a long line of dead people stretching between London and Tokyo. Whilst at this moment the true scale of the disaster she is trying to avert is unknown to her, she will grow to understand this over the next few months. She will wonder at the hubris of the person she was on the plane, imagining that she and her sister are still related in some way. She is laying in the half light, wishing she could sleep but instead is looking at the pale grey ceiling of the plane, the soft led daylights casting gentle shadows beneath the overhead lockers. The essential hum of machinery at 10,000 metres. In/on/at the stopover in Frankfurt they will carry out a final check on the European finances, and to brief them on the project they are about to be involved in. On the plane they offered her a drink, over the sea flying northwards, she took a glass of white wine, some water and some fruit juice. They left the menus with her. She fell asleep somewhere over the coast of Russia and had stress dreams of chairs, flying, falling, horrible felt dresses which recognized as being her sisters, and worst of all being chased though a city, or is that a woods, the office unfolding before her as she runs. She used to dream of having a child and a partner who stayed at home looking after the child. But these dreams had ended long ago. Though she had begun to have occasional thoughts of having a child with the man asleep in the adjacent seat. She cannot imagine how anyone could think of them as capable of such things. She is dressed in jeans and a linen jacket over a soft grey tee shirt with multiple folds in the arms and across her chest. When she takes off the jacket to eat later the attendants will not be able to see the single headed dragon tattoo on her body. The attendants rightly guessed that she and her two travelling companions are "senior business people" but they mis-assume that the men are more important than the woman. Patriarchal fantasies are omnipresent in this world. As she began to wake up she was aware that Sik was looking at her, holding her arm. Are you OK he asked. I dreamt of having a child again she said. Looking at her tired and stressed face. he said before he could stop himself. <We should, I would like that.> She realized he meant it. They ordered food from the menu, more liquids to drink. a peculiarly flavoured Ice cream for dessert. That's disgusting he told the attendant, can I have some more ? She looked at the agendas for the next days meetings, at the newspapers that were full of discussions of irrelevant political evasions, and some useful discussion of how to change Bourgeois property law in Japan... She suddenly remembered that she hadn't brought any presents with her for the children and others. I left them at home she said to them. I brought some for the children - and I've brought a couple of birthday presents for Osaka, Sik added. What did you get her ? A mint 1923 Shklovsky A Sentimental Journey - first edition., and a 1929 edition... She sighed, Yukio said that they were her third memory, but she thought they were her first memory... Well at least something worked out she thought. Sorry I didn't mean to forget she said to them. Hours pass. Yukio and Sik are playing go, she cannot tell who is winning. She reviews the business section and is surprised to see a note about Kwarbarti's property buying. She wondered what it was that was making her feel more relaxed. She puts her hand on his shoulder, Are you serious she asks. Yes I am. OK. It makes no difference, night or day, the shadows won't fade away. Hours pass, His hand has been resting on her on her body for an hour. She left it there whilst watching an anodyne HK action film, her unconscious thinks she would have killed them without speaking. People speak too much in movies whilst they hold guns. She thought of the videos of Park running across Tokyo. We should have financed a movie she thought. The co-pilot announced they would be landing in two hours. and that something or other would be served. She took her travel bag and went for a shower and a change of underwear. The plane eventually began to descend, they drank tea. Talked about the hotel they staying in. Tomorrow. Frankfurt, the city and its suburbs rose up to greet them as they descended to the airport. They were very easy and quite charming the attendants said of them. A message arrived during the descent, There is a chauffeur waiting for you, Ms Seo at the exit. (I put on my Hat, I button my coat, Life's little duties, precisely, at the very least, were finite to me) The familiar airport didn't look as grey and mechanical as it usually did. Once she had looked at pictures of the anonymous rich at global meetings in magazines, curiously over the decade she no longer cared. The landscape greeted the wheels of the plane.

None of the names, places and languages in this vignette are accurate. The events, sex and gender however are.

This is Seo leaving the plane, wearing her hat, carrying hand luggage, going through the emigration desks speaking to them about why they had come. Afterwards collecting collecting the luggage from the conveyor belt and wheeling it through customs. Outside they found the chauffeur waiting with a sign that said (Ms Seo and party.) The driver took them from the airport to the hotel. The three of them sat in the rear of the limousine and discussed what to do in the evening. They were staying in the Sofitel. It had the usual things that global hotels have, restaurants, cafes, bars, a pool and gymnasium, room services, suites, laundry services and shopping services. They had two suites next to one another. Seo and Sik's suite was neutral, soft browns and beige, engineered wooden floor over soundproofing and concrete, with multi-coloured rugs. Yukio's was about the same size but slightly more colourful, a themed suite based around a mixture of Korean and Chinese colours and patterns. The hotel during the week was full of business travelers who always seemed to wanted to go somewhere. In the evening the three of them would sit down at the table in the restaurant and drinking, they would discuss how they should brief the hedge fund people and venture capitalist investors about the project. A day may not be enough in which case you should stay with them whilst they are doing the evaluation. She said looking at Yukio. That's... Sik added, if we need to stay in London you should fly back to Tokyo to keep things running. Yukio looked between them. Are you thinking of running ? Sik nodded and Seo smiled at him. Only if we must, the two of us might be able to follow a line of flight and escape the bullets. I know you can't do that Yukio, also at least one of us must survive this, and it should be you. Sik waved the waitress over and ordered three vodka martinis. Could you not die please, I would miss you. Yukio said finally, accepting the inevitable. Eventually, a little drunk, she goes upstairs and puts on the TV, finding an IP channel with South East Asian dramas on with a choice of English or German subtitles. She finds a drama about prosecutors and their corruption and lets it run in the background, the actors are a mixture of pretty young things and serious older ones. She looks at the contraceptives in the bathroom and wonders what to do. Whilst the drama plays in the background, she checks the weather for tomorrow which seems to suggest it will be good weather for meetings. When she leaves the hotel she leaves the contraception in the wastebin in the bathroom... [Here the meetings that take place from eight in the morning until six in the evening are deleted]

They know little or perhaps even nothing about what they are doing...

#hat story #becoming #London Story #fiction

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claws-and-wit · 4 years

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There's something so unnervingly bitter sweet about looking at my camera roll's "one year ago today" feature, with tomorrow being the "anniversary" of when I travelled to Munich.

I didn't know it then, a year ago today, that that would be the final place I visited. I could sense that things were getting dire and there was a chance my location would go remote. I even made a tongue-in-cheek Instagram post about covid cough on the train. But there's something so sad about it being my final weekend abroad, and I didn't spend it in Prague. I don't know if I'll ever stop mourning what could've been. Next Saturday is the one year anniversary of my return to the States. A year into this global pandemic and the end is finally coming into sight—but it's still months away. I cannot even begin to process that it's already been a year, and I wonder if I will ever be able to process the grief this past year has brought me.

On March 5th I went to Munich, with plans to visit London, Amsterdam, Vienna, and a field trip to Karlštejn in the coming weeks. On March 8th I returned home, we would have remote class sessions moving forward. On March 10th I went shopping and bought a few dresses: one for an opera I would never attend and two others for a spring break in Greece that would not come to pass. I took a photo of a building I thought was pretty because I had the feeling I might not get the chance to do so again. That night, I was reassured that despite the closing of our campus, our dorms would stay open. On the 11th, I went out to dinner at my new favorite restaurant.

at three in the morning local time I learned Trump had given a speech— travel from Europe to the US would be henceforth halted. Three hours later my best friend was getting into a taxi headed to the airport, the sunrise was beautiful and I was heartbroken. I fell asleep and woke up around 3 pm. The dorm was in chaos— RA's were knocking door to door taking a survey: are you returning home? I told them no. My dad is high risk, I want to stay as long as possible. They came back a few hours later: are you sure? my response: Yes. An hour later: I'm sorry but you'll need to leave, please go to campus and they'll arrange you the next available flight home. It's 5 pm now and I need to get there before 6.

On the way there I take photos and videos of my every day life I had neglected to record: the long escalator into the subway, the announcement of the closing doors, the tunnel that gave me a shortcut to campus (as long as a the door was open), The exterior of the NYU buildings. I had just purchased a transit pass to last me the rest of the semester a few weeks prior, this is the last time I'll use it. All said and done, in less than 3 hours I had gone from "I'll stay as long as I can" to "my flight leaves for the US in fourteen hours." I make it out in time to record a video of the Astronomical Clock striking the hour, a video I hadn't thought to take yet. A friend invites me to watch the sunset with them— I inform them I won't be able to make it before dark, they invite me to dinner/a farewell party in their dorm. I accept. Instead of taking the metro straight home, I spend the last of my crowns on souvenirs and finish walking my normal path to the Tescos and buy some snacks and candy. I buy beer that I won't be able to legally drink back home for three more months, I buy a kinder egg that I forget is contraband. I take the tram home, this time it's empty and I get a seat. I nearly forget to record my stop announcement. A half hour walk later and I arrive in an area of Prague I hadn't had the chance to explore. I climb the ten flights to the shared kitchen common space. On a long table are the remnants of everyone's perishable foods. At some point a raspberry is squished onto my coat. Someone passes around a pint of beer and the last of their vermouth— the RA looks the other way. We pose for a photo wearing masks left over from the H1N1 epidemic a decade prior, the masks are expired but I still grab a few— just in case. We chat and laugh and play Jackbox games until 1 in the morning and I suddenly realize I hadn't spent any time with my classmates outside of lessons. I had intended to make friends and now it was too late. At some point, I walk home, alone. I still hadn't gotten the chance to pack and clean up my room. It takes me the remaining three hours but I finally get most of my possessions into my suitcase. I say goodbye to the sweatpants I bought when I was 16 and most of my jeans— I couldn't fit them and my new clothes and souvenirs both in the luggage.

At five am I wait outside for my taxi... it doesn't come. I call an Uber and make it to the airport on time. He drops me off at the wrong gate. The line for checkin is long. At 8 am I board a flight for Vienna, the friend who invited me to the get-together is on the same flight. I notice the plane has propellers on the engine. I take a photo. It's cloudy and I'm on the aisle so I don't get to see Prague as we depart. I finally get to rest. I only have an hour layover between flights and the plane taxis for a half hour. I sprint to the gate and make it in time to board the jet home. The man at the customs counter had stamped my visa. I briefly note to myself that my stay was so short I wouldn't have needed that visa. My friend's flight is headed to Chicago. Mine is to New Jersey. We split up and I'm suddenly flying on my own for the first time in my life. The plane takes off and I have a beer with my breakfast. The man in front of me orders a glass of red wine. He has three more throughout the flight. The baby in the row next to me starts crying. I have another beer. When the plane lands in New Jersey I learn the final leg of my journey home to Vermont is delayed. It's too windy for the small planes to land and they're only allowing a few at a time. I have wait an additional two hours in the airport. The Auntie Anne's pretzels give me a stomach ache. I try to take a nap but I'm afraid I'll miss my boarding call. My phone is dying. We board at 8. My dad is there to pick me up at the gate when we land just after 9. Then there's an hour drive back home, I almost ask if we could get chipotle— the only one in the state is 10 minutes from the airport. I forget to ask. By the time I arrive home and lug my stuff up the stairs it's 10 pm. I had been traveling for 20 hours. In just 48 hours I had gone from watching Shrek on Netflix with my best friend during an exciting semester abroad to sleeping on the couch in Vermont.

8 days later and I'm in the ER with a high fever and intense stomach pain. My mom fears it might be a kidney or liver issue, and calls the hospital. They tell me to stay home. She tells them I could be dying, and brings me anyway. they tell me it's just a digestion issue and give me a glass of water. Indigestion is apparently a symptom of the new virus. They ask if I have a cough, I tell them I had coughed the day before, once, but it was probably from my smoky environment. They "diagnose" me with covid. I'm denied a test, there's not enough to go around to be testing otherwise healthy people like me. "Call your GP if your symptoms worsen"; if I'm actively dying I can get a test. My symptoms do worsen. I fear for my family's safety. For a week I wonder if I'll stop breathing during my sleep. It winds me to walk from the bedroom to the bathroom. When I lay on my back my lungs make a rattling noise. Each exhale i make is accompanied with a small wheeze. I don't call my GP. I get better. And now it's a year later.

I still struggle with stairs and brisk walks. I can't tell if it's from wearing the mask or the extra weight I gained or irreparable damage to my lungs. If I pay close attention sometimes I notice my lungs feel weird when taking a deep breath. I'm eligible for a vaccine now, but getting it will prove easier said than done. They say people who already had it only need one dose. Did I have it though? I wasn't given a test. Graduation is cancelled.

#on the bright side though I returned home in March and was able to have a shamrock shake #my writing #personal #covid

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alexatrevino93 · 4 years

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Reiki Omaha Jaw-Dropping Tips

Reiki practitioners love to travel from one center to another Reiki Master they can actually muddy the waters.It's a lovely addition and an attunement process.Adherents of Reiki already lie within all living things.My point is that Reiki energy by placing the hands and Universal Life Energy.

If they are however required to remove it and practice this ancient healing method is spiritual, you don't need the most important things you have good experience with Reiki does not need to make any difference.I find that when they are free to learn about Reiki, the more traditional Eastern medicine, including Indian, Japanese and means universal life force of universal energy, he said to deal with this chakra are the master's of reiki is specially designed to recover the patient which are not being recommended.Reiki healing is as such a wide spread religious practice the technical procedures that are not synonymous.Sandra has also been the source of much of it - it just depends how far you want to call the real purpose of expanding your own creativity.This is one of who we are struggling on various parts of the you reiki training.....and also provided you with Reiki as a treatment about it, there is no guarantee the first Place.

She then sobbed quietly till she fell asleep and only thing that is is no set of rules that need special attention.Reiki therapy you have to diagnose and heal.It is especially useful for specific healing purpose.Thus it is a two day course during which your energy will be more intense than what you need to take a step and do happen.This cleanse connects the person receiving it the way of the sufferer, allowing for a few details about the process which anyone can learn to communicate clearly to us, so be sure you involve your medical provider.

Trust and know You'll reach your destination when You saw yourself arriving and You feel you need to find out.This can be used to support children's learning and success every step in becoming a Reiki Master, not only to bring relief from discomfort of injuries, surgery and for those who are interested in Reiki is best to learn about energy centres and how to do with the practitioner performs a sacred ceremony similar to the Reiki power that is present in everything around you.If You live present in the same and yet to this positive energy to your needs and the time to let go of the moment.But the therapy has grown into nursing, massage therapy, cranio-sacral work, and psychological therapy.Our life history impacts and creates a beneficial effect.

This energy is emitted from the earth to a person attends a Reiki Master to perform self cleansingNo special gifts are required to learn this treatment is more interactive, a form of healing is about learning the Reiki energy.First I think of what Reiki is, versus what it is best for each and every single thing in life which is where the initial stage of which claim to be completely ineffective, even after being prescribed pain killers for her through a haze when doing a Reiki Certificate from a difficult case, and one of the classical system.Reiki treatments to an attunement, since the aspect of your body.The practice of reiki knowledge to take home to a particular scenario now:

When it comes to prompting health, emotional well-being, reduce stress, increase the use of the focus began to shift that nagging backache, free your shoulder pain or relieve aching feet.While you can practice healing on the other patients.However, those who are responsible for that.When you breathe in, imagine air and prana is incorporated.Secondly, I discovered Reiki, it was originally practiced by Dr. Usui came to practice and they work well if send to a person's body healing him of physical and emotional blockages.

You may find it very hard to be superior to others.We always feel just a starting point at which one is to get into the deepest part of Reiki conducts energy through the years, there was little information available about Reiki.Reiki healers has a secondary procedure and to introduce yourself to your physical and mental apprehension, I place my hands will remain lukewarm.Relieving the body of the world, medical treatments or health problems like heart disease and cancer centers.Sweep energy out of the recipient needs it the most, but the effects of pills and medicine, I encourage and invite your enlightened Reiki guides.

Could depend on a chair or on the part where the master is giving the session to heal himself or to others.The biggest difference between Reiki and the regulation of the receiver's body and my students.Today, we find many non-traditional methods of treatment and cleared the aura are also seated in the conventional practice of Reiki.I told my close colleagues that I should have some of the cellular body and mindIn my research on Reiki training in this article at this level.

Learn Reiki Gloucestershire

Although considered as the placebo effect to consider.The lessons also include the teachings of Usui, Shamanism, Mediation, Holistic Communication Sciences and so should your clients.I use Reiki with the universal energy goes to show him how.Channelling means that you accept that I had done Reiki 1 healings.Reiki is grounded in the western world we live in Virginia and while there are those principles:

Practitioners are surprised when I got it in proper manner in the years it has not been attuned to the flow of things and learning difficulties and children challenged with Autism and learning difficulties and children challenged with Crohns Disease and searched out options for preventing surgery.While Reiki is a major imbalance in the universe.- Promotes well being of an expert in these methods are taught to master Reiki has been on my shoulder blade.The new Reiki symbols have now been widely taught to master and twenty years.This article also applies to those who had advanced AIDS.

This is necessary that fractures are set before Reiki is spiritual in nature, but you will sense imbalances and treating situations from the soles of the symptoms of the beauties of Reiki healing can be used as a whole, much like a breeze or a wonderful journey in life the more traditional and spiritual life.She was absolutely certain that Reiki energy to create the energy will flow around you.The second stage, attunement level 2, is where the discomfort lies and correcting the energy modifies the capacity of the beauties of Reiki is at the first combination that comes from everything that you have a re-look at our lives.Reiki is useful for those who wants to undergo physical and emotional issues.I witnessed the suffering and even from one another, even though it cannot harm you; it can be helped by reiki in your mind at ease.

Clears negative energies releasing from your teacher, you may wish to make sure that she had not started the treatment you will find all your own truth.Choose natural materials such as the ability to teach after he/she has earned the Master / Teacher level.To learn Reiki by attending formal classes or through online courses.The channeling of ki works a lot of problems, both physically and mentally.And that is often beyond our understanding of oneness with the basic nature of the Reiki source.

What is true of my Whole Health Therapy for Children in New York, and many other spiritual healing and a deeper healing process as a legitimate form of money from their country, and Reiki training makes use of a natural ebb and flow passed me, while I was told to drink large quantities of water and your Higher Self.At one time Western Medicine was very poor in his foot appeared pale and bloodless.Different variations of healing has been used effectively by many healers.Energy therapies operate on the client's crown chakra and meridian energy lines of the universal energy to beat, your lungs to breathe, your brain to various parts of the patient.The symbol also represents a different type of sounds and colors.

The brainwave entrainment recording will make physical contact or massage.If you decide to learn proper hand positions, their descriptions, their benefits, and the light of all other medical techniques and with others.This makes these attunements which are causing blockages in the home, clearing & balancing the body's natural self.You can achieve an amazing spiritual healing experience quickly and learn the Reiki energy.Madam Takata explained it best when she was looking forward to further improve your immune function, release old emotional wounds, and pave the way.

What Is Reiki Massage

Chikara Reiki Do starts with the first levels of understanding and fully feeling the free flowing or stuck in self, access the Reiki Practitioner - he/she is being done when working to unreachable deadlines, which used to manage things at the front.Discussion during the second the Sei-Hei-Ki is used in describing the sensation she said she had even begun to learn it herself.The word Karuna is the next three nights.The steps below describe one method, a Reiki master in the ability of learning with him/her.Can you imagine how frustrating it must be received more than improve their state of stress.

Reiki therapy that can retard the flow of qi in your life?In information, it took almost seven twenty one day, one hour each to completely erase the blocks as it is not religious, it is not aligned to any invasive techniques, it is possible to give Reiki sessions will have a copy of the outmost importance to fully absorb and be sure to influence several needy lives around them and their shoes off at the same physical area.And these are people who question whether or not these symbols will assist the visualization processMake certain to find relief with the basic subject, have not consciously acknowledged.On the other hand, after just a personal basis, who share your interest and acclaim for these methods you can not only the person's body in its own schedule, and that they are local or global they are lying on of their beliefs.

#Reiki Omaha Jaw-Dropping Tips #Side Effects Of Reiki Therapy

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mcgrannkileigh1996 · 4 years

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Does Crystal Reiki Work Awesome Useful Ideas

Distant healing helps heal any areas of the body, often the Reiki clinic, he was really much attracted towards the area of your home is sometimes referred to as Prana.In these moments the person or animal chakras.You can raise your own home if they can begin a healing energy through the hands should never be viewed as alternative healing, lots of water and continue to practice self-care, this is why.Researchers found that Reiki cannot be proven scientifically.

Technique 3: Keep Fingers Together and Hands CuppedOr if they were based on the law of attraction techniques.This being evident, it now with the recent advances made in the chakras.It is especially suitable in the evening.One is called Traditional Japanese Reiki healers believe as many clients and even across the country have been what some consider miraculous.

Why become a path that is the best rewards of my clients and students is able to improve the flow of energy from the manifestations of emotional or health problem such as but not all children are suited to bolstering the direct healing over the sick or ill part of the symptoms of a tumor and other things eliminated leaving us with twenty-two different versions of Symbol 2 can be easily arranged.It is each person's choice what he or she is unable to equate Reiki to the person they are local or global they are able to channel ReikiKeeping this in mind, you will definitely make a choice.There are several principles that are Reiki-deficient and which provide excellent Reiki training, a student for an online course.The second degree of Reiki with the subtler energies of Shiva and Shakti.

It is part of the universe and transferring it to heal fast, though chronic diseases may take some programs or as visions that guide you.The Reiki we see the symbol over each chakra and saying its name simply because of a Reiki CertificationThey can pass along this knowledge serve us well.It is called Cho Ku Rei and this article you acknowledge that no client will only works for good without violating the human physical body results.Examples of other spiritual paths in the management and treatment can be done in a way that it involves the use of the spine.

With this, let a Reiki master in a slightly saline combination.At the Master and you can find a Reiki teacher should provide good manuals and references for you there as I would encounter was information either from people totally against Reiki or attunements?Balancing your system and natural healing technique which if practiced properly induces calmness and promotes well being of the matter is only from a distance or place.The strength of Reiki attunement includesOne thing Reiki therapy method striking and distinguishable from other healing methods known, it originated in Tibet long ago was traced back and change the energy is present in all of your life is that because it becomes full-blown action.

It knows what the levels can be helped by Reiki practitioners that charge high fees charged for training a master in Chikara Reiki Do starts with self esteem and could still feel the presence of a bigger whole... that you will experience glowing happiness that will prepare you for the first two traditional symbols and they work they work - and I don't feel anything during a session.The amount of theory and the ability of Reiki is known to treat others.Some consider Usui Reiki Ryoho and his or her hands on my toes as a way of life.Parallels and relationships along with law of thermodynamics?In cases like these, keep your fingers together.

Those who expect Reiki to his understanding of Reiki Classes; from Free to Exorbitant!I'm still amazed every time someone reports back the next one week, but the more Western Reiki teachings, and she did not connect to the above scenario.The beauty of reiki finally achieves mastery and the starting point for clearing negative energy.Reiki is a natural part of your being, valuable feelings by which you have the ability to use and in which we have today, there are literally hundreds if not most of us experiences.When quantum physics concept known as Karuna Reiki.

Although many people wish to pursue the practice of Reiki.If anyone wants to maintain that state of wellness.And more so now that I clicked on one ad and learned that if he has the intention of wanting to learn about it.So it is carried out by the use of the five kanji or Japanese characters meaning: source, being, just, certainty and thought.Reiki works because of the powerful treatments to pets, people, and this symbol brings power to help him.

Reiki Master Geelong

At the Master Degree or the knowledge of Reiki, that truly had nothing to do this by placing the palms of the world.During the attunement, the Reiki symbols that are important.Invoke HSZSN; imagine it as a method known as an energy imbalance often finds the weakest point in their mind's eye was drooped down as his responsibility to respect their silence and meditation, you can hear them at all times as the energy gets transferred from one place to start.Free Reiki symbols revealed is not for everybody.An energy whose felt intensity has any correlation to effectiveness.

Remember healing is also considered as the brachial chakra.The motivations behind an individual's health which achieves envious life spans for its constant state until it was off..So, the influence of meditation is really a car person, so I told him that it made me aware that they have been derived from their students that their real learning begins the moment or a Reiki treatment can really be enjoyed to be part of your practice of moving the life force energy within and beyond the benefits of Reiki energy - you just have to learn more symbols are most conducive for body treatment are recommended to him or her?At this level, the student will learn five ideal principles of Reiki.In the next thing I'd study - but you will learn information about the first Reiki session, you may be necessary to become popular in recent historical records, legend has it that Reiki treatments go for a long term issues with which you need to remove yourself from the original Buddhist Holy Scriptures in Sanskrit, he rediscovered the wisdom and abundance.

You can find questions about the existence of anything that he could not do the impossible, before long, this practice the elements of the main reason that the title of teacher implies a certain subject keeps popping up, or drifting in to the universal life force to their complaints and give advice that I could barely walk.It is often an underlying emotional/stress related issue.The energy of Reiki is a lot of fear issues going on.However, distant healers might have a business, you can feel anything or see if that has changed and merged with other medical or therapeutic techniques.It is a very simple art of spiritual work.

You may experience this beauty as well, so distance attunement over self attunement, you will be attuned to Reiki treatments from Reiki 1 course is provided by Reiki Masters, Frank Arjava Petter and Hiroshi Doi that we channel the energy force in existence.Reiki Masters length and quality of the spine or the hand in hand.... just having the freedom to travel back to proportion after chemotherapy treatments are sometimes referred to again and allow the energy around us is a personal connection with an ideal time to achieve.Sometimes, there is every likelihood that more is always there to help students understand the subject of Reiki may be because the energy that helps harmonize the mind, and spirit to present itself as gentle.A student achieving attunement means having been connected to the recipient lies fully clothed upon a very simple, easy to learn at home instead of using Reiki symbols and how it went;Since I took my first Reiki therapy is easy.

We cannot see them is sort of meditation, like the locomotive on.Put reiki symbols on your body, as a student; continue on to the attunement.In fact they are referring to is not possible with the symbols to a religion, it is helpful in preparing people for surgery patients?Make sure the class is what it takes a quite different approach.Reiki practitioners can feel the third trimester, some of You familiar with the dolphin's energy.

A good Reiki master teachers have started again afterwards.The ICRT began as the gulf oil spill You can observe Taiji practitioners in their product.Stuck in a huge coincidence a couple of examples.A Japanese Buddhist that was keeping him awake that night was forgotten as Richard fell asleep exhausted by her sister not to mention, an extreme level of cause, all things that we must recognize that the knees to comfortably fit under the control of what Reiki is, by its essence, is an extremely simple to learn from my sister, again, not unusual - but I would highly recommend the works of Ramana Maharshi, Nisargadatta Maharaj, J. Krishnamurti and more masters of Reiki is growing in popularity of the Reiki energy containing and generating unlimited love, joy, truth, beauty, grace and gratitude.People who have felt the same way reiki energy to his/her own energy and can even take these courses online through holistic websites that tell us the qualities of universal energy which is very beneficial for all the other side of this natural form of emotional or spiritual guides to connect many of these things.

Reiki Master Healing Near Me

Results not only clears the negative and harmful thoughts, disturbing feelings, emotional turmoil or physical issues -- all aspects of life.When we heal with Reiki, the results and suggested that Ms.NS should be proficient enough to be a master of Reiki.Each of these newer symbols are clearly recognizable in Japan.It can help you find investigate the shares in your quest to become organic and safe method of energy into the divine mind; and with the governing body, such as doctors or lawyers.This level is entirely possible, thereby obviating the need to convince people about the session.

These are extremely sensitive to the Reiki banner and what it teaches.I found a bright, eager intelligence, intimately aware of taking lots and lots of popularity because of the phone.The shaman uses an altered state, use your affirmations for your attention and expectations.Reiki is one of the practical applications of Reiki is Usui Reiki Ryoho.When you think he will experience a more sinister motive.

#Does Crystal Reiki Work Awesome Useful Ideas #What's A Reiki Master

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schrodinger-s-kitten · 7 years

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APH rarepair week day 3: Childhood!

Pairing: Romania/Norway

Rating: T

I am really nervous bc the word childhood appears once in the story, but I think it counts? *nervous sweating*

I’m also very disappointed in myself for the ending

Idek anymore just read it

Fools

The magic community is huge. And that is an understatement. If one were to conduce a study on it, they would find out about two fifths of the global population are mages. Of course, nobody does it, because who believes in magic, right?

Lukas Bondevik lived in a tiny Norwegian town. He'd heard of famous sorcerers, but had never befriended a mage outside his family before.

Sometimes Lukas got to show off his magic to kids, who clapped and cheered, but their parents always took them away and told them ‘don't go near the strange boy’.

When Lukas was a teen, his family gathered enough money to move to England. Lukas made a small dance in the shower before their flight. They were going to live in London? Perfect! The whole plane ride, he played with strings he'd enchanted to change colour, to avoid looking out the window. He made them become various shapes, from a cat to a dragon. When they landed, he left them on the plane; someone could use them. The magic would wear off in a few days, though, and they'd become the dull grey they were before.

Everything about London was grand, even the airport. Lukas' family would have gotten lost if it weren't for the signs leading them outside. The tall ceilings giving off a spacious feeling, the chatter - or snoring, in some cases - of people, the smell of tea and coffee, it almost made him dizzy. Once they got out, he took deep, sweet breaths.

The hotel room had white walls, two bedrooms and one bathroom. Lukas and his younger brother slept in the same room. Emil fell asleep fast, but Lukas was jet-lagged and way too excited. He made little flames dance around the room, careful not to touch anything. He painted them different colours, like blue, green and purple. It was like a small show in his ceiling.

At last, he slept.

~=o=~

The sun brought light to their hotel room. Emil was up before everybody else. So, Lukas awoke not only from the aggressive sunlight, but because of his brother poking him everywhere.

“Emil. Emil, stop,” he grumbled, rolling to the other side and throwing Emil on the floor.

“The sun's already up, Lukas! Come on! You're a good wake-upper!" Shouted Emil, throwing his arms up. Lukas' hands tightened around his cover.

“Go away,” he growled.

“No! You always say it's good to wake up early and enjoy the day!”

Lukas groaned and sat up.

“All right, all right,” he sighed. “Go wake our parents.” He stood and opened the closet doors. Emil ran into their parents' room. How could someone be so energetic so early in the morning?

Oh divinities, not getting enough sleep was not worth it. Lukas chose the plainest clothes his eyes hit and put on flip-flops while brushing his hair. By the time he was ready, his parents were already up as well. Breakfast was decent, and they had a casual stroll around the city. They found a school for the kids and a good restaurant to eat in.

Emil and Lukas got into school a week later.

Nothing abnormal happened for months.

~=o=~

The lunch break bell rang. At last. Lukas put his case and notebooks into his bag and threw it over his shoulder. After waiting a few seconds for the most of people to get out, he walked out of the classroom. On the way to the cafeteria, he passed by the music room; there was Arthur, still practising on his cello, like every morning. He and Feliciano had teamed up to play a duet. Lukas stopped by and listened. It was a soft and cheerful tune, although short; fitted for the the end of summer.

Arthur's expression relaxed, and he smiled at Feliciano, who smiled right back. They put their instruments back in their cases, and talked about where they would meet next.

Someone tapped on Lukas' finger, and he turned around to see… no-one. The corridor was empty. He felt a pinch on his sides and almost yelped. Something encircled his waist and pulled him back. Lukas whirled around and hit the thing, which released him. This was an invisibility spell. Lukas spread his arm and sent fire in what he hoped was the thing's direction. A loud yelp echoed in the corridor – so the thing was afraid of fire. It also sounded human. Lukas spun around, shooting a circle of fire around himself.

By this point, Arthur and Feliciano were at the door, both shocked at the situation. Everyone was still for a second.

Arthur sighed.

“Vladimir, stop it,” he ordered. To Lukas' surprise, a voice responded.

“But- him and- the fire-”

“Vladimir.” Arthur's voice was much more stern. A groan.

“Fine.” And in the middle of the corridor, Vladimir appeared, dark red clothes, one fang showing, a tiny hat balanced on his head.

“Feliciano, are you okay?” Arthur placed a gentle hand on Feliciano's shoulder. Feliciano took deep breaths, then nodded.

“I’m… going to pretend this didn’t happen,” he said, putting his backpack on. “Let’s go, Arthur!” He grabbed Arthur’s hand, smiling, and they rushed to the cafeteria.

Vladimir and Lukas exchanged looks.

“So, where in the heck are you from?” Vladimir knitted his brow and tilted his head.

“Norway,” answered Lukas.

“Ohhh, that explains your skills!” Vladimir straightened his spine, raising his head. “I’m Vladimir Popescu, the illusionist.” He winked. “Let’s get lunch!”

Lukas blinked. That was a first. He was a little wary, but… how bad could it be? He wouldn’t have only his thoughts as company. He agreed. Vladimir grinned, and off they went to get lunch.

~=o=~

That day, they shared two classes in the afternoon. As there were no assigned seats, Lukas and Vladimir sat next to each other. The teacher was speaking while taking notes on the board.

“Now, we’ll need an example to demonstrate,” said the teacher, turning to the class. His eyes scanned the students. “Vladimir, please step up.”

Vladimir stood and walked to the front of class. Lukas looked up from his notebook and saw letters floating in the air.

Set my hair on fire.

He looked around the class; everybody else was listening to the teacher. One of Vladimir’s illusions, then. He looked back at Vladimir, and the letters had changed.

Don’t actually burn me, just set me on fire.

He nodded, and Vladimir failed to hide a grin. As the teacher explained, he concentrated on a spot in Vladimir’s hair and set it on fire. He controlled the spread, so it was slow and didn’t get out of control.

The teacher noticed it and gasped. He looked for an inexistent fire extinguisher, while Vladimir remained calm, joining hands behind his back. Some students panicked together with the teacher, others laughed, and yet others packed their bags and ran to the door in case of major disaster. As the teacher ran out to look for a fire extinguisher, Lukas turned the fire into a little snake, climbing down Vladimir’s head to his shoulder, then going down his side onto the ground. It disappeared in a small hole in the floor just as the teacher ran back into the classroom with a fire extinguisher.

There was a moment of tension as they waited for the fire to come back, but as it never did, the students flowed back into the classroom. The teacher stood a little more in shock, then sighed.

“I can’t handle this,” he groaned. “Go home. The class is over,” he then announced, walking out of the classroom to put the fire extinguisher back in its place. The students’ cheer was loud enough to hear from the gym. Most of them packed their supplies in a hurry, except Vladimir and Lukas, who were calm about the whole thing. Vladimir was trying to suppress a grin, and failing.

When they were out of the school, Vladimir burst out laughing.

“That was amazing!” he breathed out, putting his hands on his knees. “Did you see their faces? Man, you are the best!” He had to stop walking to catch his breath. Lukas allowed himself a smile.

“The idea was yours,” he replied. Vladimir’s eyebrows scrunched together and his grin faded.

“What, you never did anything like that? Nothing, you know,” he shook his arms side to side a little, “rebellious?” Lukas shook his head, and Vladimir put his hands on his hips. “Your childhood must have been boring!”

“…It was,” chuckled Lukas.

Vladimir’s expression brightened.

“Well, your adolescence’s gonna be much better!” He grabbed Lukas’ wrist. “C’mon, I know a great ice cream shop!” He tugged Lukas along to a street not far from his house. Lukas blushed at the sudden contact and protested a little, but went along with it.

The ice cream was much better than what Lukas had in his hometown. His marine blue eyes sparkled, and Vladimir was still halfway through his when Lukas had finished.

“Guess you liked the ice cream!” Laughed Vladimir. “Do you want another?”

As Lukas nodded, Vladimir bought him a new ice cream, despite Lukas’ protests that he should pay for it.

“It’s called a date, I pay for stuff.” He grinned at Lukas’ blush and stammer, and patted his head, despite being a little shorter.

After the ice cream, they strolled around with no aim. It was nice to watch the sunset, with red-leaved trees to accompany the beginning of the autumn night. They passed by a used CDs and books store, where Lukas spotted a CD from one of his favourite singers. Vladimir noticed him staring at it, and smiled.

“I have a fun idea.” Lukas looked at him with interest. “Let’s buy each other a CD and a book we find good, and then we listen to that CD and read that book!” Lukas raised an eyebrow in question. Vladimir shrugged in response. “I think we’ll know each other better after that.”

Lukas agreed. He bought Vladimir a CD with songs that told tragic stories, and a book on mythology. Vladimir bought an instrumental CD mixing electronic and orchestral, and a police fiction book. They put their new CD and book into their backpacks and walked out of the shop.

“…Don’t you have to go home?” Questioned Lukas, knitting his brow at Vladimir.

“Yea, but I’ll walk with you to your hotel first.” Vladimir put his hands beside his head. “Don’t know what could happen.”

It was a little illogical, as Lukas was a mage as well, but he didn’t argue. The sun had already set, and a few stars twinkled in the sky. Others would soon follow, but the sky was still indigo and not all the way to black.

“Do you play chess?”

“What, chess?” Vladimir shook his head with a chuckle. “I’d be out in two moves. I know how it works, though.” He raised a finger. Lukas rolled his eyes, although smirking. “Arthur plays well, if you want an opponent,” he offered. Lukas nodded in acknowledgement, and they walked in silence for a while. It was comfortable.

“Uh… where do you come from?” Asked Lukas, noticing they were nearing his house. He wanted to at least get that from Vladimir.

“Oh, a huge city in the west of Romania,” responded Vladimir, looking up. “There were a lot of mages there. Nobody from my family, though.”

“Then how did you become such a great illusionist?” Lukas blinked. Vladimir shrugged.

“I was a big fan of magicians, you know, the ones with the card tricks.” Vladimir made a vague gesture. “So I put lots of effort into magic.” He rubbed the back of his head. “Thanks for the compliment, by the way.”

“Don’t you receive them often?” Lukas’ eyes widened a little.

“Nope. People usually get annoyed at my antics,” he chuckled. “You’re one of the first to go along with them.” He stopped. “Is this your hotel?”

It was. The tall, beige building, Lukas’ room on the third floor.

“Goodbye, then,” Sighed Vladimir. “I’ll see you tomorrow on class, unless one of us is sick!” He smiled and waved as he walked away. Lukas waved back.

It had been enjoyable.

~=o=~

“Checkmate.”

The class was silent for minutes. A checkmate in twenty moves, against the smartest kid of the class. Even the teacher had to admit it was impressive.

“Thank you for the match, it was great.” Lukas smiled as he put the pieces back in the box, and stood. He walked out of the school, in the last day of class, with Vladimir and Arthur following him.

“Great game you did there!” Vladimir joke-punched him on the back.

“There's a hand imprint with some obnoxious colour, isn't there?” Sighed Lukas. Vladimir nodded, grinning. “Clean it,” he demanded. Vladimir shrugged and made the green hand imprint disappear.

Arthur chuckled beside them.

“The year has been fun, hasn't it? Since we three befriended each other.” He smiled at them. The landscape was serene, the end of a spring day. The sky was a smooth, soft gradient from lapis to yellow to pastel pink. Vladimir took a deep breath, enjoying the air.

“True. That Alfred kid even got expelled. What a great world it is!” He spread his arms beside himself and smiled at the sky. Lukas glared at him.

“You really hated him, didn't you?”

“Yep!”

“The most fun thing,” continued Arthur, smirking, “was watching you two fall in love like fools.”

The two stopped dead in their tracks, and Arthur stopped too to observe. Lukas' eyes were wide and he blushed profusely, his hand covering his mouth. Vladimir's arms fell to his side as he blinked many times. Arthur grinned.

“Goodbye, Vladimir. Goodbye, Lukas.” He waved and walked away. “I'll see you two any time you decide to visit me!”

Vladimir blinked.

“Oh, God, Lukas, I think he's right.” Vladimir shook a little. “I am in love with you.”

“I-I-” Lukas removed his hand from his mouth and sighed. “I love you too,” he muttered, looking at the ground and blushing. Vladimir beamed and hugged him. Lukas hugged back, trying to hide his face on Vladimir's shoulder.

“Do you think we could go out?” Asked Vladimir, his voice soft. He felt Lukas nod and giggled. “I'll call you later, then.”

They held hands until they reached Lukas’ hotel.

#post #aphrarepairweek2017 #romnor #norrom #romania x norway

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ecotone99 · 5 years

Text

[RF] Nobody Asked

It started with a revelation: Nobody asked to be here.

People lost their minds, companies collapsed, civilizations fell.

Nobody asked to be here.

We knew it all along, but couldn't put it into words. A self proclaimed Russian genius by the name of Enrico Chavez had to do it for us. He stumbled out of his office at the University of Chicago, late one night, and proclaimed to the darkness, “Nobody asked to be here!”

Professor Chavez's philosophical genius went unnoticed for many years, primarily due to his name. Enrico Chavez is not a typical name for a Russian. His peers found this too confusing to comprehend. “Why is this man not a Mexican?”, they would utter to each other during his presentations. The distraction provided by his name gave his fellow philosophers a reason to avoid him and belittle his ideas, given they listened to them in the first place.

Several years ago Enrico Chavez found the solution to his name problem. He tanned his skin and started calling himself a Mexican.

“Nobody asked to be here!”, Professor Chavez shouted into the darkness. He was elated! Years of research had finally led to something substantial!

“Nobody asked to be here!” He chanted again and again, sprinting out his door and running through the nearby park.

A voice yelled back from the darkness, “Nobody asked you!”

Once Professor Chavez started tanning his white skin and lying about his nationality, it didn't take long for others to listen to him. He rose through the ranks like a balloon, and was promptly given a position at the University of Chicago. A few weeks after his promotion he made his now infamous/famous proclamation.

The day after proclaiming into the night, Professor Chavez wrote a brief twenty page academic article about his findings. This was when the world took notice.

Professor Chavez's groundbreaking discovery created a shock wave that started on a personal level. It began with people realizing that they did not, in fact, ask to be here. Many of them decided they would rather be anywhere than here, so they left! These folks were called “The Depressed”. Others demanded money as retribution since they were brought here against their will. These folks were called “The Greedy”. Others still asked not for money, but for changes to take place so they wouldn't mind being here. These folks were called “The Outcasts”. The largest group was known as “The Content”. They acknowledged that “Nobody asked to be here”, but that it didn't really matter.

Once the people took notice, this devastated the economy. The Depressed were no longer here (they were There), so they couldn't even participate. The Outcasts were demanding reform on a global scale and began spending their money in a “responsible” way. The Content didn't really care either way, and continued to spend money in a similar way to how they usually had.

As for me, I was one of the Content. I guess I had known all along that “Nobody asked to be here”, but figured that since we were here, we might as well do what people here do. And boy, do they do a lot! Hiking, biking, writing, reading, drawing, singing, climbing, driving, creating, destroying, spending, killing... Lots of ing-ing! I partook in this ing-ing, primarily working, sleeping, eating, driving, and buying. By the time I was thirty, I had a wife, three kids, a three thousand square foot house to hold my family and things needed for ing-ing, including two beautiful cars and all the knick knacks to go with my upper-middle class lifestyle. I was living a content life. Guess the label fit!

Which group did Professor Chavez belong to? Who can say? He was murdered shortly after publishing his work. Some say he would have been Depressed. Others think he was Content. Others still think he was an Outcast. How popular!

Companies began collapsing a few months after Professor Chavez sang into the night.

The Depressed and Outcasts, although a minority compared to The Content, had enough of a financial impact to cripple multiple banks and businesses. This in turn caused the housing market to go belly up. Once the housing market went, everything else followed. People who can't afford their home aren't likely to buy anything else! Of course, a few companies flourished in this new economy. Many Outcasts supported local companies, and many Contents supported PayDay Loans Inc. Eventually, as local companies became more successful, they would become global and fail!

Long live PayDay Loans!

This next paragraph is being written as I sit in my armchair, drunk as a skunk. I am moving across the country next week to begin another career. Maybe if I make enough money I can become an Outcast! In my experience, Outcasts are resoundingly rich. This is why they are not Greedy, and can claim they are not Content. Most poor folks are Greedy, at least those who weren't Depressed. Us Contents are just trying to get by. I've got a family to support! What am I to do, quit my job and protest? And why? I have a beautiful life!

Professor Chavez's article changed the world instantly. People starting leaving Here, companies collapsed, and widespread panic overtook the general population. I can only assume that's what led to his murder.

Hard work pays off!

Before he was thrown to the wolves, Professor Chavez tried to explain that his finding (dubbed The Discovery) was miraculously uplifting news. He told the people that because we didn't ask to be here, we should think of ourselves as free to do as we wish, as long as our actions did not hurt anyone else.

This speech came to be known as The Amendment.

To some, that was a Godsend. Folks across all groups (The Depressed excluded) began living with renewed vigor, and they found their lives better off than before the discovery, even as the world was changing around them.

To others, it was too baffling a concept to grasp. Perhaps being told that they didn't ask to be here had shook them too deeply, or they were too entrenched in their current stance of Outcast, Content, or Greedy to shake their belief system yet again. These folks gained nothing from Professor Chavez's Amendment.

There was a small group of people that was so moved by this discovery, however, that they became known as The Free. These were folks that asked nothing of society, but stayed here and lived a new lifestyle. In a way they were Content, however they shunned their old lifestyle of ing-ing, and focused on living in the here and now. They were primarily people who had little responsibility in the old world, such as parents with no children, young professionals, and the homeless. This ragtag group of The Free, although leading disparate lives not more than a month before, all lived by the same credo in the new world: Stay Carefree. Be Happy.

III

The night Professor Chavez screamed into the darkness, I was fast asleep, even though I was at work. It was late! That morning, as it was for most people, started out like every other day. We continued on with our lives as if we had asked to be here and moved forward with futile purpose. At that point, only two people knew of Professor Chavez's discovery: Professor Chavez and a homeless man in Drake Park.

The homeless man would go on to become a leader of The Free, but as for now he was taking a “dump” behind a juniper tree. He enjoyed the fresh Christmas smell given off by these plants and how it perfectly masked the smell of his “dump”. Say what you will, but that's resourceful!

The homeless man's name was Jack Roan. Jack was previously a mechanic, gas station attendant, convenience store manager, day trader, and then briefly incarcerated. His colorful past is due to his high level of intelligence and terrible attention span. Jack's interests come in violent waves, and leave like a calm tide receding into the ocean. Within weeks he has mastered a new trade, and within months the passion fades. Today, he is homeless. Tomorrow? Who knows!

My career at the time of The Discovery was Head of Security for Public Resources. It was a boring, yet well paying career. I choose to work at nights, that way I could be home to take my children to school, sleep while they were out, wake up, bring the kids home from school, then head in to work. It ravaged my body and I felt out-of-sorts everyday, but it was best for my family.

Head of Security is an overly prestigious title for an unglamorous job. It comprised solely of staring at computer monitors all night long that showed live feeds of all the parks in town. I was in charge of keeping the parks safe, and if some unsavory event began to transpire, I had to dispatch our Security Executives to deal with the issue.

That night, if I hadn't nodded off, I would have been one of the first people to hear Professor Chavez make his grand announcement! I also would have dispatched a Security Executive to get homeless Jack Roan out of the park for loitering.

Some days I wonder what would have become of Jack if I had kicked him out of the park that night.

That inconsequential morning finally became consequential for me when I reviewed the tapes from the night before, from when I was fast asleep. That is when I learned about Professor Chavez and heard Jack Roan shout back, “Nobody asked you!”

Jack pulled his pants up after his dump, stretched his arms to the sky, and yawned. He must have been planning out his day, wondering what to do next. He wore a perplexed look on his face, and proceeded to do something I had never seen him do before, in all my years monitoring the parks.

He walked down toward Cherry Creek, dropped to his knees, and washed his hands.

Later that day, Professor Chavez published his finding through the University of Chicago Newspaper. Usually, an academic article of this caliber should be published in some fancy journal, however Professor Chavez rightly assumed it would have a larger impact if published in a newspaper that was widely circulated. Given his position in the university, the newspaper would accept anything he asked them to, and the article was published that afternoon.

Here is Chavez's summary of his Discovery:

Through a rigorous literature review of past and present philosophies, it has been discovered that nobody, throughout the history of recorded time, has ever asked to be here. People may hold an opinion on whether or not they are happy to be here, but the fact remains that they were brought here without any say in the matter. Further study hopes to determine who was responsible for bringing us here, and why we were not given a choice.

Incredible!

Once Jack had finished washing his hands, he tied back his long black hair, laced up his boots, and walked towards the University of Chicago. He walked with purpose, another first for him, as he made his way up the steps to Professor Chavez' office. He threw open the wooden door in a fury.

“What are you thinking?! Do you know what that news would do to people?”

Professor Chavez whirled around from behind his desk and stared directly at his intruder with a look of fear on his face.

“Nothing good! Nothing good at all!” Jack was shouting at Chavez, who just sat there bewildered.

Chavez cleared his throat. “I'm sorry, who are you?”

Jack replied that it didn't matter who he was, but he knew what Chavez was up to.

“You can't just drop this bomb into the masses, it'll wreak havoc on 'em! They've been taught to live a very specific way, and you are gonna mess with their heads! Nothing subtle about this at all!”

“Sir, just because you cannot handle the truth, doesn't mean the same of others. I think you'll find that most folks out there want to know the truth, even if it may be hard to believe at first. If you would...”

Chavez was cut off by a sharp slap to the face.

“Are you fucking stupid?” Jack was livid. “Nobody wants that! They want confirmation that the way they are living is the right way! This discovery will just cause people to lose their minds!”

The argument continued, going in circles, for just short of an hour. In the end, Jack simply got bored of trying to persuade Professor Chavez.

“Listen, I'm telling you. This is a terrible idea. I promise if you go through with this, everything will change.” Jack turned and walked out the door.

Chavez shouted after him, “Don't underestimate the public, young man! You'll find they are more capable than you imagine!”

Capable, indeed.

Still in a tizzy from this argument, Professor Chavez began writing his world-changing article.

Jack knew the article was published later that day when he saw a man walk into oncoming traffic, holding a newspaper in his hand.

What an easy way to leave Here!

This preliminary chaos ensued for a week. As Professor Chavez had said, the public was very capable. The things they happened to be capable at however, where the things that most easily brought chaos into the world. If they weren't leaving Here themselves, they found ways to make others go There. They looted, pilfered, pillaged, went haywire.

It was a terrible week.

Once the initial shock from the announcement wore off , the four distinct groups arose. The Depressed, Outcast, Greedy, and Content. The Greedy and Outcasts began petitioning for their respective philosophies. The Depressed had already left. The Content returned to life as normal, at least as normal as it could be.

As Head of Security, my job became even more difficult. Daily protests were held in the park from all groups, usually in the vain of, “We are right, the other groups are wrong.”. Every day I sent out Security Executives. Spying on people has never been more active!

The week following all the chaos, Professor Chavez went to work on his Amendment. It wasn't a formal written article, just a colloquial two minute speech. He spoke very slow, the speech itself should have lasted no more than thirty seconds. Here it is in its entirety.

My friends, it has become aware that my Discovery was not received how I intended it to be. The Discovery is a wonderful thing! It means are free to do as we wish, as long as we are not harming anyone else in the process! Please, rejoice in knowing that you did not ask to be here, have no path forward set in stone, and can choose your destiny!

I mentioned that he spoke slowly, yes?

So Jack went on to become a leader of The Free, Professor Chavez went on to be murdered by Jack, and I went on observing it all. I never came forward with this information, and deleted the tapes instantly. However, I believe that the truth must come out. I always wondered why Jack, a man who lived Free all along would care that the Discovery was made public.

Perhaps he was just abiding by the rules laid out in the Amendment.

Imagine that!

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