#Like... I'm not a math person
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Have we all just forgotten the actual definition of square here???

I love seeing a meme and being like oh, tumblrs going to love this one
#It needs to be straight sides my dude#I literally learned that in elementary school#Also the shape itself doesn't have right angles inside it#You don't count the outside of the shape when looking at angles#The inside has two 270 degree angles. Not two 90 degree ones#This isn't even technically a square#Like... I'm not a math person#And I HATE geometry#But like... come on my dudes#At least try
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i'm ready to try
#This drawing is kind of personal to me#I recently graduated (CUM LAUDE WOOOO!!!!) and its like. not to get depressing#but when i was younger i was never sure whether i would make it to this point#When i was going through what i consider to still be like. the worst time of my entire life#This fictional character was there for me and she was something for me to latch onto and cope with#eGem helped me a lot with being able to process my emotions at the time but also helped me to reflect on myself#which i think is a big reason as to why I'm really happy with where i am with myself right now#I'm going off to uni next school year to study astronomy!!! which!!!#Im also doing because of eGem!!! She ignited this kind of childlike wonder for space for me#I love doing math and physics and whilst Im still a bit scared because. honestly i don't know whether this is what i want to do with my lif#I think i'll be okay either way#either way i wanted to draw egem again even if i haven't done so in a while because its like#i think i wouldnt be who i am without her. i think i'd be a lot worse off#so like. thank you empires smp thank you geminitay thank you egem This drawing is me expressing my gratitude#AND THANK YOU AUTISM!#empires smp#empires smp s1#empiresblr#esmp#geminitay#art#fanart#alice.art#mcyt#mcytblr#song is andromeda by weyes blood... obv.. you guys know me by now :oP
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I don't have the time at the moment to write a full essay but someone should definitely remind me to write a post later on the phenomenon that is Ratio's assholery being sanded away by well-meaning fans.
In a quest to fight against the "Ratio is a condescending jerk" stereotype from Ratio haters, pro-Ratio fans have now swung too far the other way, making him into a saint who loves everyone, isn't disdainful of failure, and believes every single person can equally pull themselves up out of mediocrity.
None of those things are actually true based on the game itself, where Ratio is, in fact, a judgmental person who struggles to accept the mundanity of those around him, believes in an educational elite, and can be exceptionally condescending, whether he means it or not.
He's a flawed character. His own flaws are absolutely central to his character, in fact. And yet none of his flaws preclude him from being meaningful, nuanced, and likeable.
It's okay that he's not actually that nice.
In defending a character from one extreme ("he's a bad person"), we don't have to jump all the way to the other side ("he's an angel").
He can be a little bit of a dick and still be a great character, promise.
#honkai star rail#dr. ratio#character analysis#well not a finished one#but the spirit is there#I keep seeing posts like#“Dr. Ratio wouldn't insult you for failing that math final!!”#I'm sorry to tell you this friends#he absolutely would#the fact that he might apologize afterward#will not stop him from insulting you at the start#Ratio is a character that is best understood through the concept of projection#He has never come to terms with his own personal failings#and that is absolutely projected on how he handles the world#failure is a sign of lack and is only redeemable in how people respond to it#if you pick yourself back up he'll respect you#if your failures overcome you#that's a you problem#I promise that the man with a 3% pass rate is not about the#“everyone can succeed academically” life either#the fact that Ratio recognizes his own shitty behavior#and apologizes for it multiple times in the game#but doesn't make any effort to change#should tell you just how rude his behavior is supposed to come across
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not to be controversial on main, but i really do feel like way more people would enjoy maths if someone properly explained it to them & they didn't have a hanging threat of failing an exam above their heads
#it's genuinely so nice to try mathematics outside of academic setting!#look at me solving numbers' wee riddles three! they are speaking to me!!!!!#it's like being a detective in the world of formulas. liek evolution. like constant battke of survival#everytime you learnt a new tactic to solve a problem. another obstacle appears#me and math are locked in eternal dance where we fight like enemies yet are unable to live without each other like lovers#there's no math without mind being able to percieve. and there's no seeing reality without perceiving maths#AND NUMBERS ARE. EVERYWHERE#don't get me wrong i'm not an analytical kinda person. i was always the english & biology type of kid and physics was my enemy in school#BUT IF YOU LOOK AT IT RIGHT. YOU TOO CAN LEARN TO APPRECIATE MATH#math#ramblings
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i draw enough pre-calamity and pre-botw zora art that creating a timeline spreadsheet was necessary for my sanity (not posting full size versions bc its still very much a messy wip, just wanted to show you guys the scope)
#zora#loz#lore#botw#(as you can see the document has three more pages but those are even more of a mess so no showy sorry)#ever since i made this monstrosity making comics got much easier#now i dont have to do math every time i want two characters to share screentime#zora and their stupid aging really is the bane of my existence#100 or 200 years is too much time! so many things can happen to a person!#i'm grateful for the canon for making the zora canonically not liking change and eager to hold lonnng grudges#i can write “and then they didnt speak to each other for 15 years” to fill the timeline and it sounds somewhat plausible#also yes i think seggin has the most entries in the timeline spreadsheet and i find it incredibly amusing#truly main character energy old man#also disclaimer: i try to follow canon as much as i can but obv this is full of stuff i just made up to fill the gaps#in a way that suited me personally#so dont come at me blease
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it is a little bit nice that autism is kind of just. the norm in mathematics. maybe i'm exaggerating but i do feel confident in saying that there are disproportionately many autists studying math and it makes it easier to sort of just exist.
#like i would say i'm a more social person than most but this is not true outside of this highly autistic bubble i've found myself in#socializing with other math people means that a lot of the norms are more autist friendly too#i worry less about coming off as weird because even at my weirdest i'm like kind of average among mathematicians#poast.txt
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Idk how to tell you this but it’s unreasonable to expect a novel written 3 decades ago to align with today’s understanding of representation and respect.
i think it's sleight of hand to suggest that the complaints many people (not just i!) have with sbb can be reduced to "representation and respect" rather than observations about the politics that informed its writing, but even if we grant this: why would anyone recommend a book that they agree is wildly inadequate by contemporary standards as first-line reading for lesbians? if there is such a failure to "align" with "today's understanding", what on earth makes it the go-to introductory text that it is so often shilled as? better to give it an honest elevator pitch—it is a semi-autobiographical historical document, with some interesting and compelling things to say but also with all the perspectival limitations that that entails, about one kind of lesbian experience in a few parts of the usa in one part of the 20th century.
#ask answer#i'm not even gonna publish the other ask because#calling me “babe” in the same breath that you suggest i can't do math is so comically transmisogynistic#that if you have arrived at this point in defense of a book by a tme person i can only prescribe greater self awareness#as for the actual claim raised in the other ask#i'm sorry that it doesn't register as very instrumentally violent to u when one of the few deaths written in the book#is of a Black character doing suicide-by-gun#like just genuinely sorry that this is your outlook simply because the white pov character also suffers
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truly my best brain time is in the middle of the night caffeine & sugar rush. I think I just understood math, like some part of the general pattern of math if that makes sense. something clicked somewhere in my brain and I felt it
#idk this might sound like a sleep deprived caffeine up god complexed person's rambles bc that's 100% what it is#(it's vector & matrices I'm at currently bc got some algorithms to figure out and explain how those would apply to deal with EEG-data#in practice and I think I got like the basic thing that idk how to put into words; like the connections etc.)#I think it helped to have that EEG-data there to think things through with bc some context is always nice#I suck at just purely theoretical math#anyways feeling great & maybe I'm not the dumbest person on this earth after all#april 2024#2024
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I feel like I'm digging myself deep into a hole and finding nothing, trying to figure out more about In-ho's family
#i've been hyperfixating for probably over an hour#just googling and looking at pictures and squid game wiki and using google translate in hopes that it's not translating wrong#i'm tired#this hyperfixation is strong#but idk i'm not getting anywhere#all i found out is that gihun's mom and junho's mom have the same first name for some reason#idk is mal-soon a common korean name?#also i found out that the data they get for the files on the players is just data that you can find by looking a person up enough#because in gihuns file for family there isn't any father listed and the same goes for inho#also for inho the only parent that is listed is his stepmother and not his actual mother#also junho was born when inho was 16#that's not a hidden detail that's just math#anyways#idk they could be not putting names of parents because it's important or maybe it's also entirely unimportant#i'm rewatching (or trying to) season 1 actually for an entirely different reason but i've been hung up on this for too damn long and now#it's getting dark outside and i feel like i#*like i've wasted my whole afternoon for basically no information#idk i'm thinking too much about backstory but if we look at seasons 1 and 2 we can see that squid game is really not a backstory heavy show#ore more like#there's not really any flashbacks and most backstory stuff/stuff from the past is only ever mentioned in like a throwaway line#if we're talking about family and all that#anyways i need to Stop or i'm gonna freak out#okay i'll tell you what i actually wanted to do and that's draw#and specifically do that 'do you think we would find each other in every universe trend' with saebyeok and jiyeong#but for that i need to watch the marbles game conversation they had and so i'm watching until that maint now#*point#so#if you've read up until now you're welcome or i'm sorry... idk#squid game#hwang in ho
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studying Philosophy is really like
you think this is going to help you understand the world and your place in it better,
but actually all it does is confuse and befuddle you farther than ever before
and also you make friends with the most annoying (read: great, smart, lovely, kind, but argumentative as ALL GET OUT) people in the world and then you realize you've BECOME one of those people and you kind of want to just curl up in a nice quiet little hole in the ground with all your books and read and think until a complete and total understanding of the world falls out of your noggin and everything makes sense; but actually you just want to take a walk in the woods with a friend and not think about anything for at least a year.
#I have a paper due on the philosophy of math#at 8 AM TOMORROW#and my brain is NOT WORKING#and I really want to go cry for a while#but that's not really going to fix anything at all is it#on a related note if y'all want to pray for me... my emotions have returned and they really just want to process everything that's#happened for approximately my entire life at one time. and it's kind of hard to do all the things I think I should be doing right now#when that's going on#also thinking too much about trying to love people well and what that means and how bad at it I've been and it's hard not to get stuck ther#when there's basically nothing I can change anyway#(need to have an awkward convo with someone soon... for my sake probably more than theirs#I fear I haven't loved them well and it matters to me to know that our friendship hasn't been compromised#but unfortunately it's also strike one) a boy and strike two) a boy I like#and unfortunately he figured it out and I have a pretty good indication that he doesn't like me back. and I can't tell if he's interested i#a mutual friend#and I am AwkwardTM and trying not to let it bother me. but Fake It Till You Make It#(my philosophy since getting to college)#isn't really going that well for me in this case.#and I think an honest conversation would be the best thing for everyone... except I'm kinda terrified of that lol :') and I want to serve#him well not just serve my own emotions and need for validation)#prayers would be appreciated#that I will love others as they are meant to be loved and not just as I want to love them#or as my selfish emotions and desires think I want to love them#and that I'll be able to know when something needs to be said and when nothing at all is the best option for everyone#God sees and knows. and He loves me. and that is so /so/ hard to believe sometimes but I try to hold onto it with everything I have lately.#gurt says stuff#college stuff#philosophy#one day I'll look back and laugh at undergraduate me#personal tags
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Today had been sponsored by Maths™️
And DS9, but that's just every day...
I sorted every episode in DS9 into whether it was:
"Julian-heavy" (main ensemble or more; approx. 40-170 lines),
"moderately-Julian" (ensemble; approx. 17-45 lines), or
"Julian-light" (barely there; usually <25 lines)
And also by how much I liked it:
Green band: 1st ("FAV FAV FAV") and 2nd ("SO GOOOOOOD")
Yellow band: 3rd ("real strong, I like it a lot") and 4th ("solid. possibly a bit weird. but good.")
Orange/red band: 5th ("a bit eh") and 6th ("Nah.")
And then stats happened on the interesections of such things! I haven't done all the maths I want to, but today I've learnt:
> My statistically favourite season is S3, with 85% of episodes in the green band (35% of them 1sts), followed by S7 with 80% of its episodes there (40% of them 1sts!). > Season 1 had the highest proportion of Julian-heavy episodes (37%), despite having 0 Julian-as-sole-protaganist eps. Season 3 was next with 31% of Julian-heavy eps. > 61% of my very favouritest episodes are Julian-heavy. If an episode is Julian-heavy, then it also got itself a 1st or 2nd rating. 110 episodes -- 64% of the series -- got a 1st or 2nd. In contrast, only 4 episodes got a 5th or 6th rating! Turns out I really fricking like DS9! 🤣
> In most seasons, 90-100% of episodes that were moderately Julian or more were rated 1st or 2nd. (S5 and S6 are the exceptions). > Season 6's "Change of Heart" is the only moderately Julian episode to be given a 4th -- every other moderately Julian or more episode got at least a 3rd. > Green-band Julian-light episodes tended to be Kira or Sisko episodes, or whole-ensemble, ends-of-season/two-parter type dealios. > Season 5 has the lowest percentage of green-band episodes (42%). It is also the series in which Julian speaks the least, at an average of 22 lines per episode. Seasons 3 and 7 by contrast have averages of 34 and 36 lines per episode!
... So I do have to conclude that, while I don't *need* Julian to be in an episode for me to love it (45% of my green-band episodes are Julian-light, after all), if an episode or season wants to be well-loved by me, it definitely helps to have a Julian around!
And, um, maybe I didn't need to spend a good 8 hours of my day doing maths to work that out? But hey, I had fun crunching numbers!
(Take a look at my fun spreadsheets!)
#personal#DS9#Julian Bashir#idk I like having these numbers#they give me emotional security#if anyone ever wants a list of episodes sorted by how many lines Julian Bashir speaks - I got you#I will take questions on my methodology i'm sure you're all dying to know the secrets of my brain#i could have been writing fanfic today...#(well no i really couldn't but shhh. that's why we did maths. numbers easy. words hard.)#wsb#my trek musings
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I've decided to provide the tumblr sphere with more Physics Major (TM) content for no reason other than I don't want to do my mathematical physics assignment so here are my thoughts as a Third Year (TM) in this program:
1) everything is linear algebra
2) no really, everything is linear algebra
3) amusement parks are a great source for problems in lagrangian mechanics
4) lasers are cool
5) everything is also a taylor series
6) A rectangular block falling over is surprisingly complicated
7) everything is a differential equation
8) differential equations are linear algebra
9) there is not a single physics person that is okay
10) astronomy killed math and is currently dancing on its corpse
11) astronomy is linear algebra
#physics#people seem to like my physics major content#and i love making it my personality#i am the target audience of this post#astrophysics#technically my major is astrophys but like#there's a lot of overlap#physics major#university#lasers are super cool though#I'm working in a laser lab this term#and I'm having the time of my life#math#linear algebra
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hi yes I'm alive :D (unfortunately)
to anybody who cares, I'm currently suffering from what I can only describe as "glorified mental torture wrapped up in a cute little bow of academic validation" (also known as exam season) which is why I haven't been as active on tumblr recently. unfortunately exam season is not yet over and it seems that the world hates me because every important guitar recital that I have coming up somehow overlaps with my exam seasons which is like...how??
anyway, that's just a long-winded way of saying that I probably won't be on tumblr at all (and if I am it'll probably just gonna be small reblogs/likes) so uhm. yeah. please excuse my inactivity ^^"
#junyu rambles#seriously though if there is some kind of higher being that person seems to love torturing their oc's#cause like I can't think of any other reason why there would be this much of a coincidence#I do have a long weekend coming up though! so hopefully I can catch up on tumblr shenanigans then#(I'm not even christian but shoutout to easter for allowing me to finally catch a break)#I'm not even joking I literally just finished a recital yesterday#AND I HAVE A MATH EXAM ON MONDAY#AND AN ENGLISH EXAM THE DAY AFTER#FUUUUUUASOFHSODFHSODFAHFDOS#anyways#I just love the school system so much 😊
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no one would notice if i ever vanished // if bodies could sustain // this never-ending army // like blood pumping through a vein
(click for better resolution!)
:OOO hello. anyway since these are all posters i'd have in an ideal world or smth and i'd like to store the high res versions somewhere,,, here's the google drive folder for them? hehe ''
close up!
#adamandi#vincent aurelius lin#i'm back with the posters! or smth! idk!!#i'm maybe just a bit obsessed with vincent. such a Character.#where can i run is sustaining me single-handedly through this exam season (<- has cried thrice in the last two days; alas; but moving on)#my stress response was that in a fit of apathy i shut myself down from academia and stopped to paint this#six hours total? on this funky little thing! had to push myself to finish the magnifying glass but!! looks so cool. i'm impressed with my e#fun fact: all the shades are hand-coloured. aka everything is digitally hand painted hooray!! i havent painted for a long time (ish)#smth about this musical makes me want to paint. it's very lovely that way#it's also a miracle i haven't gotten carpal tunnel or any wrist injuries so far... i'm a lucky person! hooray#i had so many thoughts to ramble about and now i don't recall any of them.#-! about this piece: inspired specifically by that one line that i doodled in the margins of a math practice last night#the diagonal slant was very. thinky. the rendering and angle were kinda contradictory to do but it's fineeee (draft was diff. pov)#i liked the red abstraction. and the way that people (misc) gave same vibes as red blood cells.#green for vincent because contrasting colour!! considered a spotlight that was more obv bc. again theatre lighting is so cool. but that was#a bit too literal? i think. so just fun little highlights. no one look at the accuracy of anything here though.. shadows do Not do this#also like hehehe lin. forest. forest of people. i really liked thinking about that. hehehe#i didn't know the font to use!! or quote!! so i slapped on the name of the musical and called it a day... the blank one is in the google-#-folder if you want to add your own stuff :') also also i wasn't sure about cropping at all. so again high res in google drive link#which is under the keep-reading sign! kind of a choose your own adventure because i'm lazy :3#ajhshdhfhfhfhf i think i've been fuelled by the tags under each post so far. so intensely. so very nice.#also when the cast or creators drop fun facts... serotonin right there.. they're all so nice waaagh it's so cool that they like my stuff ><#<laughs> really grateful that the whole fandom's so sweet <3 thank you for your support TvT#alright!! off to mess about with chemistry. jiayou me.#oh yes. a post script about the cropping crisis: i wasn't sure how small i wanted to make him. in proportion to the crowd. so if you see it#on mobile ig it's tiny and on laptop it kind of makes sense ...
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okay so I just got back from the Drawfee live-show (incredible I had such a good time🩵🩵🩵🩵 probably gonna be talking about it for a while)
and I wanted to post pics of my Todd (From Mario) shirt that I made last week because everyone was so nice and seemed to like it :D

this was the shirt straight off the embroidery hoop before I realized that Todd's hat looks a little like a penits and had to fix it lol

and this is it the night of the show!
(bonus my brother and I took a picture with Julia):

#drawfee my beloved#drawfee#mahalangel og#also my brother took a picture with Nathan and they both are posed the exact same. peak math teacher nathan look alike moments tonight#not posting mine or his face on here though because im not famous and I'd like to keep it taht way#ALSO HEY!#Toronto person with the cool hair and needing phone charger! you were really nice and i hope you had a good time!!!#embroidery#todd from mario#soooo much to say so little space#also I'm happy to answer any questions about T-shirt embroidery bc I've done it a few times but I definitely made some mistakes and learned#a lot more just making this (✿^‿^)
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where's that post about how USamericans talk about gifted kid programs like it was a supersoldier program. it makes me laugh so hard
#y'all have made the so-called gifted kid experience feel so totally unrelatable#i always loved being the so called smartest in class#still do#no angst about it#like yeah i was bullied but it wasn't because i was smart. it was bc i was fat and had poor social skills and tbh#you don't need to be gifted to be bullied for those reasons#my experience was weird bc i always had the best grades etc but never actually made it into any of the programs#my score for the IQ test was actually too low#which is funny. maybe i'm just insane#my best friend in hs did make it into the program and he definitely did think he was smarter than me for that reason#but now he is in the navy and i am not so. speaks for itself#WAIT. supersoldier program omfg ...#also i say gifted experience in the same way that like. idk. being part of math club can be an experience#it's not a real inherent thing to you as a person#i just get annoyed at how ppl talk about it like it makes them part of an oppressed class like dude omfg. even as a kid#i knew i wasn't being bullied for being smart. in fact it was honestly the only part of me that made ppl think i had social value#which is fucked up. but it's not oppression for being smart
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