#Mailman saga

[thatoneluckybee]

Bee,,,,,,,, I am ill. NyQuil. Dies

Anyway, your mailman never slacks off !!!

That.

That’s not mail. That’s.

Okay.

Oh wowie!! (Never let me say that ever again.) Gressil and Raven from Ms. Freaky’s Instagram page!!! (I am anti Instagram, it is mean to me)

Raven not being a boykisser is going to ruin my whole career… I am dying… even more than I already was………………………………

When I tell you I RAN OVER TO THE SELFIE WEBSITE I DONT REALLY USE

MORE CANON SEXUALITIES!!!!!

Also dearest mutual with no name.... you neglect the potential of a QPR.

I don't have the brain power to ID rn so if screen reader is being used or picture isn't loading: Ms. Freaky released two new artworks with the characters either holding a flag or with a flag on their cheek for their canon sexualities! GRESSIL is bisexual, Gladiolus/Raven is straight, Poppy is pansexual, Oak is bisexual, and Nightshade/Bella is a lesbian!

[katieaki]

My ✨ post-apocalyptic Lesbian Cowgirl Mailman choose-your-own adventure✨ has just updated! Read it here for free on my Patreon and vote in the poll! There is a summary of the first part, here, and the second part, here. They have everything you need to know about Lou, her requited-but-complicated love, the religious assassin who just beat the tar out of her, the worst person she's ever met, and the ill-advised journey she is on! There is also now a discord where Pony Express readers from all across god's green internet can gather, here!

Happy trails, pard! Don't leave us with a bit of devastating and upsetting information before we take off on our journey through the unknown wilderness together!

Read it for free on my patreon! (Long) Excerpt below the cut.

“So, what, mommy issues? Daddy issues?” Artie asked as she lifted Lou’s hair up to tie the new sling for her.

“Excuse me?” Lou said. She craned her neck to look up at her, but the pain in her shoulder made her look back down at the ground.

“Sorry— just, what you said to Holliday yesterday,” Artie said. She tied a knot and smoothed Lou’s collar over it. “About parents.”

Lou rubbed her face with her good hand. “Oh, yeah. I didn’t mean to loop both of y’all into that,” she said. “It’s not real polite to assume people’s family situations.”

Skylark looked up from where she was consolidating two half-used jars of flour. There was a spray of white powder across her cheek. “Oh, no, you’re right. No mother but the Listening Lady, no father but Their Honor,” she said. “I was taken into a church orphanage and basically never left.”

“A dyed in the wool church girl,” Artie said with deep affection. She wiped the flour from Skylark’s face with a handkerchief and crouched down to start packing up her sewing kit. “I killed my mom.”

She was so casual about it that it took Lou a second to catch up. She looked up to meet Skylark’s eye. There was just a half second too much silence and Artie looked questioningly up at them.

“I’m so sorry, cousin,” Skylark said. “That must have been a difficult situation.”

Artie shrugged as she rolled the excess thread around a scrap of cardboard. “Nah. It’s fine. I got new parents. And my new dad killed my old dad,” she said.

There was another long silence. Lou wished she had two good hands so she could more easily occupy herself out of discomfort. 

“No— sorry, it’s a good thing. She’s knife church, too. My dad. My new dad. It’s a saga. I’m not trying to get into it,” Artie said. “All I was trying to say was… um. Same.” She gestured between her and Lou.

“Oh, no, it wasn’t like that, at all,” Lou said. She shouldn’t have even brought it up yesterday. Lots of people had actually bad childhoods. Hers was fine. Normal, even, when you think about it. It was embarrassing that it had been on her mind so much lately. She’d gone so long hardly thinking about it at all. “I just had a basic, average bad childhood. Less attention than I wanted, less food than we needed, that kind of thing. You know. I never had to stab my mom or anything.”

“No, I didn’t stab her,” Artie said. “I used my teeth.”

Lou’s mouth went dry. Artie had almost bitten her face when they were fighting that first night. She could have easily ripped Lou’s throat out when she had her pinned down to the ground. Lou wasn’t sure why that was so much more disturbing than when she only thought she was in real danger of being killed by a knife. It didn’t change how dead you were. A chill ran down Lou’s neck where Artie had just touched her to fix her sling. She had been right to be afraid of those teeth. 

“Artie,” Skylark said. She looked at Artie with a silent plea for her to stop talking that was so clear, even Lou could read it. Artie did not seem to register it for what it meant.

“Well, I didn’t have a knife! I was only like, seven years old!” she said.

[themollyjay]

Am I The Asshole For Refusing To Die?  (AITA D&D Edition)

First some Background.  When I(25f) was 12 years old, a gang of monster hunters broke into my dad’s lair and killed him.  My mom and I escaped through one of the secret passages he’d built into the lair, while my dad was busy roasting the monster hunters with his lightning breath (dad was a 2000+ year old Bronze dragon).  After my dad was killed, my mom and I ended up settling in a small town with an active smuggler community.  Mom ended up as the top lieutenant to the head of the largest smuggling operation in the city, and I was one of their best forgers, so it was a pretty sweet set up.  Not as nice as living in a dragons lair, but still, we were doing pretty well.  I even got a nice Tiefling girlfriend. 

About 8 years after my dad died, I was out for the night with my girl, and this guy, call him Smugface (fake name) killed my mom, her boss, and all the boss’s lieutenants.  I found out about it the next morning when I found one of Smugface’s goons dumping my mom’s body in the trash outside her boss’s headquarters.  I killed the good and took his gun, then loaded up my mom’s body in a stolen wagon, and buried her next to my dad in his lair.  Then I went back to town, swearing vengeance on Smugface for killing my mom.

The whole experience messed me up.  I broke up with my girlfriend because I thought maybe Smugface hired her to lure me out of position so it would be easier to kill my mom and her boss, and since Smugface took over the smuggling ring, I was out of work, and had to take jobs smuggling stuff across the desert instead of on ships.

Since then, I’ve built up a good reputation as one of the best couriers on the sand sea, but I can’t go more than about four months or so without Smugface sending someone to kill me, which is annoying.  But every time I send a piece of one of his goons back to him to let him know I’ve killed his latest assassin, he acts like I’m the one in the wrong.  I’m like, ‘Hello, they were trying to kill me.  What am I supposed to do, just stand there and not kill them first?’

Seriously, I just sent back the fifteenth assassin’s ears about 6 months, and word on the street at the time was that Smugface upped the price on my head by another hundred gold pieces.  I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong.  Dad always told me that if anyone tries to kill you, you kill them first.  I’m just trying to follow dad’s advice, but after the fifteenth time Smugface has thrown a fit, I’m starting to wonder, Am I the Asshole for non dying?

Edit:  I know I said he usually sends a new assassin once every four months, but the city state we live in got caught in the middle of a civil war, and that’s been taking up most of Smugface’s time, while I’m trying to destroy the death cult that engineered the coup that started the civil war in the first place.

Edit Number 2:  For those who are asking, no, it turns out my girlfriend wasn’t working for him.  I found out recently that Smugface was trying to kill me that night.  Turns out the head of the monster hunter gang was actually one of the leaders of a cult worshiping a death god (same one that started the civil war at home), and they wanted me dead because killing me with break a magic spell that was cast a thousand years ago to imprison their death god.  The GF and I got back together.  We ever have our own flying ship now.  My GF is the captain of the ship, and my other friend and I are leading a coalition of 7 armies to kill the death god.

Edit Number 3:  Guys, the bit about leading an army wasn’t me bragging or anything.  It’s the shittiest job you can imagine.  Long hours, high stress, people trying to kill my all the time (that part isn’t *too* different).  I’m a fucking mailman.  I have no idea what I’m doing, but everyone looks at me like I’m some kind of champion out of the sagas, off to save the world.  I tried to explain that I won the last battle by sitting on the general of the opposing army, but everyone thinks that’s impressive somehow just because I turned into a dragon first.  I’m like, “Hello, my dad was a dragon, how is this not normal?”, but everyone still looks at me like I’m some sort of hero, when all I want to do is crawl in a nice, damp seaside cave and nap for a couple of centuries.

[heckinconfusedparade]

Knuckles gets a cold D:

The finale of our cold saga. Y’all know I had to do it to em.

Knuckles wakes up. Rubs his eyes. Sits up and- yep there it is, the headache from satan himself. Knuckles knew this would probably happen.. but he’s still pissed off that germs attacked him in his most vulnerable state.

He lays back down, not letting a stupid headache stop him from getting his 9 hours of slumber. He coughs quietly, and the door to the basement is pushed open. Sonic and Tails come down the steps. Tails immediately snuggles up next to Knuckles, and Sonic looks at Knuckles all smug “we heard there was trouble and came as soon as we could.” Knuckles playfully rolls his eyes “ha-ha.” And thus begins the cuddle pile.

When Maddie goes upstairs into the attic to wake up Sonic and Tails, she’s greeted by an empty room. She sighs, knowing what this means. She goes back downstairs and gathers the medicine, tea, anything Knuckles will need, before heading into the basement.

Her heart swells at the sight. She carefully places her hand on Knuckles’ forehead, causing him to stir a little. Poor lad is warm.

Sonic is the first to wake up, and is surprised to see his mother there. Maddie reaches over and pats his head and places a kiss on his lil forehead. Fuelled by mommy kisses, he stretches out then gets up. Knuckles and Tails wake up, because they can no longer feel Sonic in the pile. Maddie gives the other two their needed mommy kisses. It’s just how it goes.

After taking them upstairs and Tom giving them breakfast, Maddie takes Knuckles’ temp. Yep, a fever, just as she suspected.

Again she is unable to stay home, so Tom will be staying.

Again the other two do not want to leave their brother, but are sent to school anyway.

Knuckles sets up his blanket and pillow on the couch in the living room where he is joined by Tom and Ozzie. Knuckles sips some of his tea, and speaks to his father in a raspy voice “father, why can mother not stay home? It is always only just one of you.”

“That’s because your mother has a very important job to do, taking care of the towns animals and making sure they’re happy and healthy.”

“But you have an important job too, do you not?”

“I do, but I have some vacation days from all that overtime I did pre-sonic.”

“Oh. I see. What do you do as sherif?”

“I protect the townspeople and fight crime. I also make sure nobody is speeding.. we had to extend that rule to include on foot on certain roads, because your brother says he’s the one who broke my speed-o-meter before I even met him.”

“That sounds like a very Sonic activity. And your job sounds very noble. I too wish to protect the people of the town!”

“You already have, Knux. You defeated Robotnik, and defended our house from the mailman a couple times!”

“I have not seen the mailing man since. I think I have done my job.”

Knuckles leans on his dad, feeling sleepy “father?”

“Yes Knuckles?”

“Am I best boy?”

“Mmm I’m not sure if I’m allowed to decide that.”

“I am one of the bestest boys”

“That can be decided and yes you are.”

Knuckles smiles, satisfied, and drifts off to sleep. Tom gives him comforting pats and discovers HOLY CRAP HE CAN PURR TOO?? THIS IS GREAT. One of the greatest moments of his life.

When he wakes up, to Toms relief, he takes his medicine easily. He tries to hide his disgust but fails, making Tom laugh a bit.

After an extended coughing fit, he asks his father “am I dying?” Because he has never in his life been this sick. Tom gives him a weird look “nope, not like you’re Arthur Morgan.” “Who?” “…oh, my dear sweet son. I’ll have to show you one day.” “I’m confused.”

Soon Knuckles and Tom are in a game of scrabble. It’s become less of the traditional gameplay and more of them building words that may or may not exist, then checking if they actually exist and laughing to themselves.

Some of their favourites include:

Macaronic: when someone mixes two languages together.

Snollygoster: An unscrupulous, untrustworthy person.

Cancatervate: Heaping things into a pile.

They have good fun before passing out together on the couch.

Maddie comes home with Sonic and Tails at the end of the day. They’re happy to see Knux is doing ok. They try to stay quiet as to not wake them, but Ozzie is having some serious happy tippy taps so Knuckles wakes up anyway.

Knuckles yawns “welcome back dear brothers..” Sonic snickers “you sound terrible” “that’s what happens when you have a deep voice and a bad cold, Sonic. Not like you’d know.” Sonic gasps, putting his hand to his heart in offence. Tails giggles “oooooooh!” Sonic leaves the room mocking Tails.

Knuckles leans back up to Tom, and motions to him “I reckon he’s the next to get a cold.” Tails nods.

[blessyourhondahurley]

Autumn Again

The conclusion of the Fowl Play saga, which began with Keep Me Fed All Year. Dean and Cas get some good news about their little farm!

Suptober prompt: Costume Flufftober prompt: A Sweet Treat Fictober prompt: "I'm not alone and neither are you." Inktober prompt: Farm

(Read on AO3)

Removing all of the dirt from his hands is a lost cause. It seems like ever since they got this place three years ago, there's never not dirt on his hands – trapped under his nails, caught in the ridges of his knuckles, embedded in his pores. Still, he makes a token effort to at least brush the worst of the crud off onto the back of his jeans before he grabs the day's mail.

Cas gave their mailbox a fresh application of cheery black and yellow stripes last week. It perches at the end of their driveway, right up alongside the road, to make access easy for their elderly mailman. From the road it's about a five-minute walk back to the house along packed gravel. This hike is very much unfun in the harshness of winter, but here in late October it's just beautiful.

Autumn is really showing off this year. The air is shiveringly crisp, a perfect counterpoint to the bright, warm sunshine. Their trees are a riot of color. There's a lopsided V of Canadian geese overhead, calling out encouragement to each other as they go. “I'm not alone and neither are you,” they seem to be saying. “If we stay together and work hard we'll get where we need to be.” Dean almost pulls his phone out to take a picture, it's so pretty. Then he remembers that he's already got about a thousand pictures on his phone of his pretty farmette in all kinds of weather, and he lets the moment go with a grin.

When he enters their cozy home, he's greeted by a gust of warmth and a squeal of delight.

“Daddyyyy!” Jack calls, his small feet pattering as he crosses the burnished wood floor of their entry way and flings his skinny arms around Dean's waist.

“Whoa, small fry!” Dean cautions. “Lemme hang up my jacket first!”

As soon as Carhartt hits hook, Jack is jumping into his arms. Dean juggles him onto one hip, keeping a firm grip on the envelopes and catalogs in his other hand.

“I picked for sure my costume!” Jack tells him excitedly. “I'm gonna be a bee! A bumblebee!!”

“Is that so? And are you sure this time?”

He's lost track of how many times this year Jack has decided for sure what his Halloween costume will be. Given how late into the month they are, Dean crosses his fingers that this one will stick.

He carries his son into the kitchen, where his husband is working on dinner.

Dean leans in to give him a kiss on the cheek, then steps back to admire. “Hey, sunshine. You finished it?”

“Yes, I washed and blocked it this morning, so it's all done. What do you think?” Cas puts his arms out to the side and turns in place, modeling his newly-knit cardigan. It's sapphire blue, the color of the clear Autumn sky, the color of his lovely eyes behind his tortoiseshell frames, and Dean has never wanted to play “naughty librarian” more in his life.

“You look like a sweet treat in that,” he growls. “Might need to talk to you about some very, very overdue books later tonight.”

Cas raises an eyebrow, pinning Dean in his place. “I'd be happy to assess your fines after our youngest patron has finished his story time, Mr. Winchester,” he promises.

Dean gives a happy little shiver. “I'll hold you to that, Mr. Winchester,” he replies eagerly.

Jack squirms in his arms, ready to be back in motion again after sitting still on his dad's hip for almost two whole minutes. Dean loosens his hold and the boy hops down and runs out of the room.

“Papa, can I watch cartoons 'til dinner?” he yells from the hallway. Cas calls his assent, and they hear the TV click on.

“How are the ladies?” Cas asks, turning back to the cutting board.

“Thriving and surviving,” Dean assures him. “I adjusted the frame on the coop door, so it should open and close better for you now.” He drops the mail onto the table and turns. “Gonna grab a shower. Need a hand with dinner after I'm cleaned up?”

“No, this is the last step. It'll be ready in thirty.”

Dean's halfway to the bathroom when he hears a sharp gasp from the kitchen. Thinking Cas might have cut himself, thinking all kinds of terrible things, he rushes back to his husband's side.

Cas has his hand to his mouth, and Dean's still looking for blood, still expecting an emergency, when he realizes that in his other hand, Cas is holding a letter.

“They said yes,” he murmurs.

“They...?” For a moment, Dean is too stunned to continue.

“They said yes!!” Cas says again, louder now, joyous. “They like our offer. They're ready to sell. We're doing this, Dean! We really are!!”

Dean grabs the letter from his husband and scans it. The offer they'd made to buy fifteen acres of adjoining land from their neighbors has been accepted.  Their pretty farmette is about to become an honest to God farm.

“We're really doing it!!” he exclaims, taking his beaming husband into his arms.

A farm stand, where Cas can sell their honey and eggs without having to haul his product out to the farmer's market every week. An addition to the house – more rooms for guests and a big upgrade in the luxuriousness of the master bath. A stable, and a couple of horses to put in it. With the additional land, they'll be able to have it all. They can plant actual crops now, grow hay and corn. They can–

“Hey, sweetheart, what do you think about, next year we do a maze?”

Cas's brow furrows for a moment, then it clears. He grins. “A maize maze?”

“Yeah, why not?” Dean says. “I'm pretty sure I can figure out how to make donuts. Jack could run a couple little games, you could drive the hay cart? How does that sound?”

“It sounds like more than we deserve,” Cas says with a wry smile. “Let's do it.”

Concludes here.

[zirhlikuzgun]

January's classic experience: A classic saga of January's good-old adventures (prior to the Pokémon experience) - Part 1 = {Driving Ib and Ib - Part 1 🠊 The Triss team's sitcom show - Part 1 🠊 Parody adventures with Luffe and Sjanne - Part 1 🠊 The Angora guys by night - Part 1 🠊 Fritz and Poul (ft. Split) records their livestream commentary for "January and co.'s hero-brave sad-to-fab quest thru their hero-brave journey from sad to fab" - Part 1} ▶ [Mr. Müller's audio/video commentary for "January and co.'s hero-brave sad-to-fab quest thru their hero-brave journey from sad to fab"] January's hero-brave journey from sad to fab - Part 1 = [Mr. Schüster's audio commentary for "January and co.'s pre-historic quest"] January and co.'s pre-historic quest - Part 1 = Mr. Schüster's secret underground living room / Morning at the farm / January's first appearance / January gets started / January's first start of his career - Part 1: January starts his day off

Before we get on with the show, i will first of all have something to explain:

NOTE: While watching "January and co.'s hero-brave sad-to-fab quest thru their hero-brave journey from sad to fab", it are mostly watching "Driving Ib and Ib, "The Triss team's sitcom show", "Parody adventures with Luffe and Sjanne", "The Angora guys by night", and "Livestream commentary with Fritz and Poul (ft. Split)".

Well, there you go. I had now already explained this note, but however, we're not ready yet, cause i have 2 more notes that i shall explain:

ADDITIONAL NOTE #1: January and co.'s "hero-brave sad-to-fab quest thru their hero-brave journey from sad to fab" are sometimes borrowing some style of classic episodes of the Case Closed anime from "Case Closed - There's Only One Truth" to "Detective Conan and the Rainbow"

ADDITIONAL NOTE #2: January and co.'s "hero-brave sad-to-fab quest thru their hero-brave journey from sad to fab" may also sometimes borrow some style of Kika and Bob

Now, there we go again. I had already explained these two notes, but we're still not ready yet, cause i need to explain 18 extra notes, so i gotta explain it at that case:

EXTRA NOTE #1: Mr. Müller are an mailman who are responsible for recording the regular audio commentary for January and co.'s sad-to-fab quest.

EXTRA NOTE #2: Mr. Schüster are responsible for recording the audio commentary at his secret underground living room, cause he's obviously recording the audio commentary for January and co.'s sad-to-fab quest which involves January and co.'s hero-brave journey from sad to fab, and are made up of three chapters: The first chapter depicts January and co.'s pre-historic quest (following the creation of the Earth), the second chapter depicts the revenge of Lord Aytien (which ends with a cliffhanger, but after the cliffhanger continues with a surprise continue in which January and co. releases free from prison, thru plotting a hero-brave scheme to defeat Lord Aytien (thru destroying the Aytien universe), and save the world, by rescuing Princess Sara and Ola (along with his best friend Joppe), just in time), and then, the third chapter depicts January and co.'s camping school journey at the southsea island (in which January and co.'s makes their hero-brave efforts of defeating Lord Aytien (thru destroying the Aytien universe), by saving the world, and rescuing Princess Sara and Ola (along with his best friend Joppe) just in time).

EXTRA NOTE #3: Mrs. Prysselius are responsible for managing Mr. Schüster's secret underground living room.

EXTRA NOTE #4: The Swedbank crew are responsible of recording the visual audio commentary.

EXTRA NOTE #5: The Deutsche Bank crew are responsible of supervising Mr. Schüster's secret underground living room.

EXTRA NOTE #6: Ib and Ib are handling the task of recording/filming their primary livestream commentary, though taking a driving trip with their car.

EXTRA NOTE #7: The Triss team are handling the task of recording/filming their secondary livestream commentary, though broadcasting their own sitcom.

EXTRA NOTE #8: Luffe and Sjanne are handling the task of recording/filming their tercerary livestream commentary, though doing some funny parodies, by checking out some serious stuff: for example reading funny signs, and even many more of some kind of serious.

EXTRA NOTE #9: The Angora guys are handling the task of recording/filming their quaternary livestream commentary, though being home at their flat, by discovering something awesome.

EXTRA NOTE #10: Fritz and Poul (from the Cavalry) (alongside Split) are handling the task of recording/filming their quinary livestream commentary, by reacting to "January and co.'s hero-brave sad-to-fab quest thru their hero-brave journey from sad to fab".

EXTRA NOTE #11: Kling and Klang are responsible for reacting their livestream commentary, cause they are two wacky cops who are Mr. Schüster's crazy allies, and they're handling the task of reacting their livestream commentary, and additionally, they're obviously teaming up with two wacky ladies, Mrs. Kling and Mrs. Klang, who are typically demonstrating something typical.

EXTRA NOTE #12: Else-Marie are responsible for paying attention at Mr. Schüster's secret underground living room. She eventually gets help of her mother and her dad named Beck.

EXTRA NOTE #13: Mr. Schüster's seven friendly allies (although they're ironically remaining unnamed) are responsible of resolving the issue.

EXTRA NOTE #14: Mr. Krüse and Mr. Meyer are responsible of require something very important.

EXTRA NOTE #15: Gary Gadget are responsible of repairing something that are getting broken.

EXTRA NOTE #16: Freddy Ferrick are responsible of resolving some problems thru performing extensive troubleshooting.

EXTRA NOTE #17: Svante Stockselius, Jon Ola Sand and Martin Österdahl are responsible of supervising the video audio commentary.

EXTRA NOTE #18: Graham Norton, Terry Wogan (despite that he had ironically passed away), Scott Mills, Paddy O'Connell, Sarah Cawood, Sara Cox, Caroline Flack, Ana Matronic, Laura Whitmore, Mel Giedroyc, Rylan Clark-Neal and Chelcee Grimes are responsible of producing the visual audio commentary.

All right. Here you have these 18 extra notes. We're now ready to get this show on the road, so without further ado, let's get into business.

At first, we're going to meet Ib and Ib. Ib and Ib are two comedians who are driving the car, by doing some funny jokes and funny pranks. They're responsible of reacting to the audio/video commentary for "January and co.'s hero-brave journey from sad to fab", so they're getting started today.

We're then meeting the Triss team. The Triss team are a gang of some funny comedians, and they're living home at their flat, cause they're broadcasting their own comedy sitcom, by doing some funny gags, as well as some funny jokes and funny pranks. They're also responsible of reacting to thr audio/video commentary for "January and co.'s hero-brave journey from sad to fab", cause they will right now get this show on the road.

Next up, we're going to meet Luffe and Sjanne. Luffe and Sjanne are two crazy, wacky pranksters that are doing some crazy, wacky stuff, as well as some crazy jokes and crazy pranks. They're getting a cool time at their flat, and they're sometimes going on a trip of doing some funny, crazy stuff, though exploring some serious things, but anyway, they're responsible of reviewing about "January and co.'s hero-brave journey from sad to fab", and besides, they will now get started today.

At next, we're going to meet the Angora guys. The Angora guys are a gang of some wacky comedians who are home at their flat, cause they're checking out some funny things and stuff, cause they're always responsible of broadcasting their own comedy show. Well, by the way, they're eitherway responsible of discussing about "January and co.'s hero-brave journey from sad to fab", cause they're right now turning on the camera, cause the Angora guys are on the stage.

Coming up next, we're gonna meet Fritz, Poul and their sockpuppet Split. Fritz and Poul are two multi-millionaires who are plotting some cheeky cool stuff that they can exactly do anything at anytime that they want to. They're teaming up with a sockpuppet named Split, who are almost resembling a hedgehog, and he does a similar vein to Dolph and Margit. Well anyway, Fritz, Poul and Split are responsible of producing, recording the audio/video commentary for "January and co.'s hero-brave journey from sad to fab", but anyway, that's enough with the set, so let's get it started.

However, before we're going to meet Mr. Müller, we're first of all making way for Ib and Ib, the Triss team, Luffe and Sjanne, the Angora guys, and Fritz and Poul (ft. Split), cause they're gonna handle the task of carrying their attitude.

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-4--1./-4--1./-4--1./-4--1./-4--1.[Unnamed title]

We'll there you go. We had now got it together with Ib and Ib, The Triss team, Luffe and Sjanne, the Angora guys, and Fritz and Poul (ft. Split), so we will right now get into the regular feature. Well then, without further ado, let's give a warm welcome to Mr. Müller

So now we're going to encounter Mr. Müller. Mr. Müller are an mailman who works at Österreichische Post AG, and are always responsible of delivering posts, mails, packs, presents and much more for everyone. Well by the way, Mr. Müller are apparently deciding to do something different, cause he's going to tell the story about January and co.'s hero-brave journey from sad to fab, well while telling that story, he will at the same time record the audio/video commentary for "January and co.'s hero-brave journey from sad to fab". So, Yup, that's a good idea, cause Mr. Müller are going to record his own audio/video commentary (with audio and video (at on-screen)). Well anyway, without further ado, we gotta get started, cause Mr. Müller are ready to get started of telling the story about January and co.'s hero-brave journey from sad to fab, and due to that, he had obviously turned on his video recorder, cause he's ready to record his audio commentary, so we gotta get started immediately. Okay, it sounds like a good idea. Well indeed, Mr. Müller are ready to record his audio commentary, so for now, without further ado, Mr. Müller are ready to begin his audio/video commentary for January and co.'s hero-brave journey from sad to fab, cause January and co.'s hero-brave journey from sad to fab are about to begin right now. Well of course, it is time to get the adventures started, so by that, it is time to let Mr. Müller's audio/video commentary for January and co.'s hero-brave journey from sad to fab begin.

At the very beginning, we're first going to meet Mr. Schüster who are going to get started at his secret underground living room. Well by the way, he are eventually joining up with Mrs. Prysselius who will always be able to manage Mr. Schüster's secret underground living room. But anyway, without further ado, let's get started.

1.1.1.Startup screen

Despite the beginning of the creation of the universe, we're first starting off with a black background, as we hear the sound of wind-blowing sound effects, and on this black background, we then see part of a dark background, which are slowly fading in and it brightens to reveal that it is made up of dark cumulonimbus borders with gaps on the bottom and top. Some border formations are being shown thru being shrouded in darkness, with a pitch black background partially illuminated by the bottom half of the screen. Then at that moment, a greyscaled backdrop gradually fades in and a light appears from behind it in the center of the screen which fades in gradually from a white light appearing between its flash, causing a spectrum of greyscale to appear around the light. The greyscale fades out, and as it lights up the rest of its light, it then flashes, which fully lights up its brightness, and it reveals to be a white flash of light which then starts to glow and it reveals a splashed light which begins to shine through the lower-middle-left screen, and it zooms into view from the lower-middle-left, and when it gets closer to the camera, it later dies down as it heads to the center of the screen and it shines up from the center as its shines begins to glow bright with its brighter shines coming from the left, right, top, and bottom of the screen, though sparkling each other, and the borders and background brighten, as the light suddenly grows a sparkle of birghtness (although you can easily notice that the sparkle appear at the light out of thin air) and it suddenly glows brighters as it gets bright, as we zoom into the light which suddenly zooms into the camera and ahead upon us, the screen flashes very bright, so that it reveals that the light are actually a cut-out of a black silk wave with a blacked-out rim around the holes, transitiong to the light that are suddenly filling the background, despite that it turns into a full morning sky. The borders here are pure white and more ethereal in design, compared to the more realistic greyscaled borders, but just as the borders light up, a group of golden sparkles appears, moving over a platinum background with a bright light which flashes as we transition to another more golden sparkles that moves over while a red sun is shown. As it moves closer to the sparkles, the sun flashes as we transition to the Telefunken logo's diamond shapes, seguing into the startup screen. We're therefore seeing a ray of light, resembling a sunburst, with a different shining background fading in a brief second later. The light is coming from some electric lights which receives some enchancements to better resemble some dynamic electric lights. This involves the addition of blurry parting lights with a very bright light between them. The light gets brighter until the lights are apart and then it fades to the traditional electric light effect, albeit the parting lights at the start are slightly modified with a sharper look to compliment those electric lights, as the borders that were normally in the transition are suddenly turning into those golden sparkles and a red sun is seen. Just as the red sun lights up, we're zooming into the electric light animation in which we see some electric lights coming up on the screen (à la the New Xbox Experience's intro cutscene). We're then seeing a colorful orb flashing in, which quickly zooms toward us as we see several lines move into it, and as the orb zooms through the camera, we see a tunnel made of smoke and spirals, as they disappear as more lines appear and we therefore zoom out of some electric lights as well as some glowing colourful tunnel containing many colourful rings, and the light becomes more intensive and the tunnel later collapses on a black background into a diamond shape with helixes, hence hearing some scribbling sounds followed by a reversed cymbal crash. Then with that, we're therefore encountering Mr. Schüster, for the first time ever.

So there we are here, and now by that, we're about to meet Mr. Schüster (for the first time ever). By the way, we will at the same time Mrs. Prysselius, cause she's responsible of managing Mr. Schüster's secret underground living room

2.2.2.Introducing Mr. Schüster

We're eventually encountering Mr. Schüster, for the first time ever. Mr. Schüster makes his first appearance and introduces himself, as he hosts the startup program, by narrating the presentation for the "adventures of January and his friends". Mr. Schüster tells about a boy who wants to be a famous hero: January. Though his story will be a hero-brave one, it will be 1000% awesome, because this story will be so much amazing when the boy enters the adventure business. Then afterwards, Mr. Schüster are eventually introducing his voice recorder, and he obtains an armchair and also a computer desk with a PC. Well then with that, Mr. Schüster are therefore recording his audio commentary and are at the same time turning on the PC by starting the program for the first time ever. With the program commencing for the first time ever, Mr. Schüster turns on the light and introduces his secret underground living room. He therefore resurrects the startup program, and hosts it at the same time, and he therefore tells about the legend of the "adventures of January and his friends". At that case, Mr. Schüster meets an housekeeper named Mrs. Prysselius who introduces herself, by demonstrating about the "adventures of January and his friends". She then helps Mr. Schüster with managing the startup program at the secret underground living room, and they're at the same time engaging their allies, and then, however, they're unexpectly making way for the Dolph gang, an greedy dumb-guy crew which consists of four greedy tramps that are seriously getting not-so-lucky: Thunder-Carlsson, Blom, Fille and Rulle (along with their henchmen Dolph and Margit). These tramps had regardlessly entered that secret underground living room, cause they had come to see if they can find anything to steal, but they've had never heard about January, and they're obviously seeing some kind of light in the room and they're deciding to take a closer look at the room. Well luckily, Mr. Schüster (along with those tramps) meets two clever cops named Kling and Klang. They're seriously noticing something very exciting that will reveal to be the "adventures of January and his friends". Well, by the way, Kling and Klang are at the same time meeting two not-so-lucky ladies named Mrs. Kling and Mrs. Klang. They're seriously demonstrates that it can't wait to experience the "adventures of January and his friends". Anyway, let's get back to Mr. Schüster, cause he's now getting his own video call with Else-Marie. Mr. Schüster helps Else-Marie with creating a hero passport for January, and then afterwards, he therefore boots up a fresh start for the "adventures of January and his friends".

3.3.3.Meet Mr. Schüster

4.4.4.Mr. Schüster introduces his secret underground living room

5.5.5.Mr. Schüster meets his allies

6.6.6.Mr. Schüster continues his introduction

So today, we're getting started, and Mr. Schüster are at his secret underground living room, cause he records his own audio commentary (with audio and video (at on-screen)).

7.7.7.Mr. Schüster resumes his introduction

8.8.8.Mr. Schüster at his secret underground living room

9.9.9.Mr. Schüster gets company

10.10.10.Mr. Schüster gets it started at his secret underground living room

11.11.11.Mr. Schüster encounters the Dolph gang

12.12.12.Mr. Schüster requires some offer

13.13.13.Mr. Schüster boots on his voice recorder, and demonstrates the introduction to his audio commentary

So now, without further ado, it is time to get started of telling the story about the "adventures of January and his friends", well due to that, Mr. Schüster had turned on his voice recorder, cause he's ready to record his audio commentary, so we gotta get started right now.

14.14.14.Mr. Schüster starts his voice recorder, and records his audio commentary

Mr. Schüster are now ready to record his audio commentary, so for now, without further ado, Mr. Schüster's audio commentary for the "adventures of January and his friends" are about to begin, and due to that, it is time to get the adventure started, so by that, the "adventures of January and his friends" are about to begin.

15.15.15.Mr. Schüster records his audio commentary

The "adventures of January and his friends" are first of all starting off with an early morning at the farm, in which the farming crew are deciding to learn something important, and because of that, it will therefore be followed by the birth of January (alongside his friends).

16.16.16.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = Morning at the farm

It begins with a small farming village where an elderly farming couple are managing an farming village and an farming base in Liechtenstein, as they come under threat by a nearby property development. The farming village's development manager, under pressure from his corporate bosses to evict the tenants and start construction, sends a farming hoodlum and his gang of thugs to bribe the farming couple and their tenants to move out, but when the tenants resist, the farming hoodlum and his thugs punch through the farming artist's door, intimidate an pregnant single mother, and break an farming ally's jar of tiles, so after the farming couple refuses to move, the farming hoodlum vandalizes the farming base, breaking a sentimental photo frame in the process. For some reason, this assault convinces three of the tenants to move out, the farming artist's best friend is tired of living in an old, depressing farming village with a guy whose art career is going nowhere, but she dumps the farming artist, by packing up and before leaving, advises the farming artist to quit being an artist and get a steady job. Eventually, the farming couple's friends takes the farming development manager's bribe and decide to move to the farming village, but the farming grandpa feels a little betrayed by the farming town for taking the farming development manager's money but they explain that the farming town and the area it's in just doesn't feel like home anymore, so they advise the farming grandpa that maybe he and the farming grandma should do the same and come live with them at the farming town, and with the assault and the farming grandma's dementia growing, the farming grandpa contemplates giving in.

And we'll continue on...

17.17.17.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = The birth of January

18.18.18.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January is born

We're continuing where we had left off.

Later, the next following day, although something looks bleak, a tiny pure, liquid, magic sphere appears and falls from the sky, by producing an immortal magic crystalline filled with incredibly strong magic properties that are also capable of healing illness, decay and injury, but however, upon discovering it, an farming stepmother discovers the crystalline and although hiding it, she uses it to retain her youth and beauty, by hoarding its healing ability through a song to keep her young for many years. Many years later, the pregnant farming grandma falls deathly sick, leading the farming grandpa to seek out the legendary mystical crystalline, and despite the farming stepmother's effort to hide it, although she's angered, the crystalline is found, uprooted and taken by farmers from the nearby farming municipality and it is boiled into medicine which will be used to save their pregnant and ailing farming grandma. Shortly thereafter, it heals/recovers her and she are at the same time giving birth to a young boy named January, who has an unageable body that possesses magical properties. Well indeed, as a side effect the newborn boy inherits the crystalline's astonishing magic abilities – which manifest through his unageable body which had absorbed the abilities of the crystalline, but however, while attempting to recover the crystalline, the farming stepmother, who wants to reclaim her immortality and youth, sneaks into the farming village and discovers that January's body has inherited the crystalline's magic, but however, the farming stepmother captures January by raising him as her own in an isolated farming cottage at the outskirts of the farm, hence saving the powers of the crystalline for himself. In order to keep the confined and isolated January content in the cottage, the farming stepmother lies about the outside world being dangerous and filled with bad people who will hurt him and take advantage of his magical capabilities. She often teaches him to fear the outside world and its people, as it is for January's own safety, and then afterwards, she therefore leaves the cottage to find the gifts for January, thus leaving the boy alone most of the time, well besides, January will constantly hope that he will soon guide his way back home to Berlin (which is the capital city of Germany). Knowing that the starlights are meant for him, he repeatedly asks the farming stepmother to let him venture into the outside world, but she refuses, as she claims that the outside world is a dangerous place, and however, January then asks for a special paint that will take the farming stepmother three days' round trip to obtain and return, and the farming stepmother accepts. In that case, January will constantly wish that he will hopefully find his way back home to Berlin, and due to that, January will casually accept it, so he gets it now.

And we'll continue on...

19.19.19.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January makes his first appearance

20.20.20.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = Introducing January

21.21.21.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January's first start

22.22.22.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January starts his day off (while doing some stuff, especially though witnessing the origins of his playmate Ola and his girlfriend Princess Sara, including at the meantime while January's friends are getting born and introduced for the first time ever, and also at the meantime while witnessing the flashbacked backstories of January's friends)

23.23.23.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January gets an attitude

24.24.24.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January teaches his basics

25.25.25.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January receives some information

26.26.26.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January joins into the fun

27.27.27.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January starts his day off

28.28.28.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January gets an interview

29.29.29.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January gets an early routine

30.30.30.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January discusses about hard labour

31.31.31.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January begins an early morning

32.32.32.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January goes to work at hard labour

33.33.33.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January works some hard labour

34.34.34.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January gets tough of working those hard labour

35.35.35.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January gets an typical situation of hard labour

36.36.36.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January receives an attitude of hard labour

37.37.37.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January gets a day in court

38.38.38.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January approves to win the case

39.39.39.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January works his skills

40.40.40.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January gets an hard situation of hard labour

41.41.41.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January approves to concentrate himself

42.42.42.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January researches an idea

43.43.43.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January finds an solution

44.44.44.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January requires some assembly

45.45.45.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January resolves some assembly

46.46.46.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January gets too hard to work those hard labour

47.47.47.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January decides for an idea

48.48.48.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January gets farming

49.49.49.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January receives some technical difficulties

50.50.50.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January resolves those problems

51.51.51.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January approves his best

52.52.52.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January trains his basics

53.53.53.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January gets some tough time to spare

54.54.54.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January gets too much tough time to spare

55.55.55.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January are getting it typical

56.56.56.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January approves to retreat his hope

57.57.57.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January approves to make his best

58.58.58.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January promises that there's no need to worry

59.59.59.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January approves that he will never lose hope

60.60.60.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January obtains the key

61.61.61.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January unlocks the key

62.62.62.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January decides for a good idea

63.63.63.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January reassembles a good idea

64.64.64.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January repairs his skills

65.65.65.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January receives an update

66.66.66.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January gets some offer

67.67.67.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January decides something important

68.68.68.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January decides to get smart

69.69.69.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January learns how to get smart

70.70.70.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January trains to be smart

71.71.71.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January gets some interesting workout

72.72.72.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January trains to workout

73.73.73.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January accepts an good idea

74.74.74.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January resolves his training skills

75.75.75.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January makes himself smart of training

76.76.76.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January repairs the resolving

77.77.77.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January progresses some smart workout

78.78.78.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January does his best to work it out

79.79.79.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January collects his smart efforts

80.80.80.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January manages his smart workout

81.81.81.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January plots an decision

82.82.82.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January learns how to report for duty

83.83.83.Mr. Schüster learns to record his audio commentary = January suggests to make it smart

...

We'll be right back after the break...

NOTE: Upon his first introduction, January introduces his IT-stuff, and besides, January boots up his smartphone which is always able to work 1000% stable, though it sometimes upgrades into new builds.

[reddragonraz]

The Mailman saga....

How To Make Storyboarding Class Fun 101: recurring character gags

[reptile-ruler]

November 5th doodles before and after the Flight Before Christmas trailer dropped

[sparrowmoth]

Fanfiction Scavenger Hunt

The results of my Easter themed fanfiction scavenger hunt (otherwise known as a list of some Descendants fics I love and adore with a small sprinkle of fics I wrote myself, complete with convenient little excerpts to get ya hooked). ;)

(Note: Half the list is under a cut since the excerpts made this a lengthy post.)

1. Chocolate: Illuminate a world that'll try to bring you down by @fuck-you-i-am-spiderman​

It isn’t clear how much time has passed, how long Carlos has been sitting there or how he managed to stop crying. Had he fallen asleep? Maybe. When he finally opens his eyes it’s to the sound of rustling, Carlos slowly looks up to see Mal sprawled on the grass in front of him, wafting a bag of chocolate candies in front of his face, 

“Thought that’d get you to look.” Mal laughs in victory, flashing him a smug smile. 

2. Stuffed animals: Playlist Saga: Harry by @moorsgrimhilde​

“Are ye sure ye dinnae need any help with that? Seems too much fer yer wee arms,” Harry giggled in delight and made room for his friend to walk inside his room. 

“Maybe don’t be an ass when I’m doing something nice for you?” Mal grumbled but there was no actual bite to her words. 

Turns out that buying something bigger than her not only ruins the surprise but also is currently causing her a great deal of embarrassment as she struggles to pull the real sized white shark plushie she decided Harry needed in his life.

3. Basket(s): Good Days by @hoodpane​

Mal is hardly five when she learns to renounce her natural instinct. A goblin in the square drops his basket of apples and stares dejectedly at the tumbling fruit, spilling across the dirty island concrete, and the greedy eyes of a dozen people turn to stare. Some approach to snatch the rare bit of food up before it can be taken from them- the way everything else has been- but others hesitate. Mal knows why. Her mother.

4. Painting: Mirror, Mirror by @callous-and-misunderstood​

Because Mal is nothing like Evie. Mal is angry and stubborn and bold. She wears clothes for comfort and mobility. She laughs loudly, with her mouth open, teeth bared. And even though her hand is steady with a can of spray paint, her eyeliner always comes out crooked. And she doesn't redo it. She leaves it, flawed. Mal isn’t perfect. And Evie loves her because that's what scares Evie the most.

After Snow White, it was not enough to just be fairest. Evie had to be perfect.

5. Decorating: A Christmas to Remember by @telli1206​

“Jay, I don’t know where you get your ideas...but I love this!” Lonnie croons.

She steals a glance back at Jane, smiling at the girl’s huge, awestruck eyes that are grazing over the gorgeousness of the snowy forest around them. She grins happily at the breathtaking view, blushing instantly when she catches Lonnie watching her.

“Jane’s so wide-eyed over this forest. I think you really scored me some brownie points with this one. And decorating trees is her favorite thing to do at Christmas!”

6. Nest(ing): Jaylos ABO Drabble by @bunny-lou​

“What the fuck did I-?” Jay turns as he scans the room. “Dude. No way.”

Carlos perks up at the sound of Jay’s voice in his direction. His heat starts next week and he’s been cleaning their room obsessively all day. Pre-nesting is what the books call it, but he’s got his nest all made up already. Blankets and pillows and clothing from Jay and Mal and Evie and even a few things from Jane and Ben. His nest looks very nice and Carlos is very proud of it.

But Jay is looking not very proud. “Have you had it this whole time?”

7. Hunt(ing): Your Baby Ain’t Sweet Like Mine by yours truly

Honestly, Jay should be so lucky if it were Carlos’ impulse to bite the mailman, or hunt a squirrel, or swallow his steak before he could even heat up the pan, but no—no, it was never anything like that.

Carlos wanted chocolate, and he didn’t much care for Jay’s allegedly “dramatic” monologues about how dangerous it was and how he shouldn’t risk it, because—allegedly—Carlos “wasn’t some idiot.”

Worse than that, actually, he was an evil genius.

8. Flowers: Get in losers, we're going road-tripping by @fuck-you-i-am-spiderman​

“So um-” Carlos coughs bringing their attention back, “the other night Eves and I were looking up some activities for the trip, and we found out that there are some really rare flowers you can only find in this forest.” He wrings his hands together, fidgeting with his fingers as he speaks.

“I figured you could sketch them Mal,” he bites his lip, stuttering a little under the intense green gaze, “I-I know you’ve been struggling for inspiration, and I-”

Mal holds up her hand, giving him what she hopes is a reassuring smile, “that’s a great idea Carlos, thanks.”

9. Hide/ing: Autophobia by @bunny-lou​

Okay, fine, so Evie offers friendship and affection and attention, things Carlos never thought he would want in his life because he had never experienced them, but neither had Evie. They were both isolated their whole lives and Carlos clings to Evie as much as she does to him. He’s just better at hiding it.

Carlos is becoming quite good at hiding just about everything.

So there’s no way that Evie figured out…

He gulps.

10. Springtime: The Wedding Date by @telli1206

Evie lets the laughter die down again before she speaks, her tone a little more serious. “You know I owe you big for doing this, right?” Jay looks at her, surprised, and shakes his head vigorously. “You’re really saving me here.”

“You owe me? For what? A week of fun, no school, and loads of free food? With the wedding bash of the year to top it all off? I should be thanking you , Eves. This is totally going to beat crashing in my cramped apartment our entire Spring break.”

11. Childhood: Rats des Villes by yours truly

Carlos blinked, looking around, letting his eyes adjust to the darkness. He was definitely in the closet. He could see the thick, looming shapes of his mother’s furs, all fluffed and—moving?

No, no. That was a fear that died in childhood.

These weren’t animals anymore. These were just… skins.

12. Backyard: christmases when you were mine by @unapologeticallyjaylos

As they sat, Jay tried to pull himself together enough to make a plan. He was good at plans; not as good as Mal, maybe, but his instincts made up for whatever else he lacked in organization. He and Gil could pack up the tent, he supposed, although that would definitely slow them down. But they’d already probably lost most of their shit, and Ben had been really generous with the travel supplies. They couldn’t just leave this thing in Evie’s backyard; where would they sleep once they got back on the road?

13. Bunnies: She Painted Fire Across the Skyline by yours truly

“M’not hungry,” said Carlos, straining to reach a dust bunny beneath the night table as he held the rest of the dirt he’d gathered in one cupped hand. Mal made an exasperated noise as he began to slide off the bed, too dazed to react to the fact that his head was about to split open like a coconut.

14. Garden: “Jaylos + Gardening” (Drabble) by @telli1206​

So Evie keeps asking him to do some of the more simple gardening, like pulling the weeds and replacing the mulch, and as soon as Jay realizes that Carlos is in the garden, he throws on his crocs and runs out to help him.

Help him make a mess, that is.

15. Eggs: Dragon Anatomy 101 (I’m Going To Make This Weird) by yours truly

There was a beat of silence, and then, Carlos simply gestured to his chemistry textbook, replying, “Nah, nothing, it’s just—” His lips twitched into a smirk, seeing Jay’s shoulders start to relax. “—Jay’s been wondering if your mom lays eggs, I guess.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #326

“life by life  /  waste to waste  /  i'm the harbinger: the master of decay”

When you get married what do you think you’ll put most of your focus and money into? Do you mean like, for the wedding? Probably the venue. Or possibly the photographer. Have you ever had a teacher that also taught your parents? No. What’s something you complain about frequently? My legs. Are you afraid of falling in love? Very. Are you close to any of your aunts/uncles? Not very. Do you hate it when people smoke around you? Very much so. Do you own anything that is special edition? Yeah, things like DVDs. Do you have any funky bookmarks? I have this one meerkat bookmark where the image moves when you tilt it. Did you ever watch Pokemon? Hell yeah I did. Are there more females or males in your family? Females. Does anyone in your family snore loudly? My mom does due to having gerd. Dad did too when I actually lived with him. I wouldn't know nowadays. Do you own a camera tripod? Yes. Did you ever believe in mermaids? No. Have you ever purchased alcohol? Yes. Any essential quirks/interests/other you look for in a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner? Similar interests, like being a metal fan and gamer especially, as well as a serious animal lover for sure. Any romantic gestures you really like? Okay if someone did that little bow thing while reaching out for my hand to dance, I'd melt, lol. I also appreciate love interests holding open doors, SHOWING INTEREST IN HOW I FCKN FEEL, asking permission before doing anything in sexual exploration, stuff like that. Any sexual fantasies? Are you daring enough to share one? Yep, not sharing those lmfao. Have you ever been in love? Twice. What is your favorite/least favorite word? My favorite is "serendipity/serendipitous," and my least favorite is "retarded." Have you ever been skinny dipping? No. If I actually had a body I was confident in, I probably would in privacy tho at night lmao. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? Oh yeah. What is your favorite thing to do? Probably RPing with my favorite OCs when I'm in a really creative mood and during a great scene. Did you go to your senior prom? Yeah, I did. Prom's honestly pretty damn overrated, but I did it and his senior prom anyway. It's the picking out a beautiful dress and taking pictures that I loved. What did you do after graduation? I don't remember. We probably went out to eat or something. Favorite home cooked meal growing up? Spaghetti. What item most embarrasses you to purchase? Nothing, really. Do you give cards to people for holidays or events? No. Name the coolest thing about one of your grandparents. Uhhhhh idk. Name two things you put whipped cream on? I hate the texture of whipped cream. Do you ever eat peanut butter straight from the jar? Sometimes if I want a snack but am trying to be healthy-ish, I'll eat just a scoop. What was the last pill you took for? Pain. Do you prefer your clothes loose or close fitting? Loose, 100%. Favorite thing you’ve ever painted? Meerkats grooming. I did it in high school on a large piece of burlap. Are there any songs that remind you of your mother? "Take It Like a Woman" by Alice Cooper, for one. How did your elementary school teachers describe you? Very smart, sweet, friendly, and nice. Game you were best at in PE/gym? Pf, none. Obsession from childhood? Dinosaurs and Pokemon. Best way for someone to bond with you? Let's talk about deep stuff regarding the world or about how awesome animals are. Top 5 favorite Vines? Oh boy. There are just way too many. I'll try to name a few: 1.) the "I can't find my berries" saga guy; 2.) *in drive-thru, asked what he would like to order* "I wanna FUCKIN DIE"; 2.) "i cOUldA DROPpeD my CroISSAnt"; 3.) "it's Wednesday, m'dudes"; 4.) "a d a m"; 5.) "I WON'T HESITATE, BITCH." God, I miss Vine. What is the first meme you remember seeing? Holy cow, I have no idea. Sci-fi, fantasy, or superheroes? Fantasy. Favorite tradition? Dressing up for Halloween, even though I don't do it anymore... Talent you’re proud of having? Writing. Favorite website from your childhood? Webkinz was unbeatable. I was obsessed. Any good luck charms? I don't believe in those. Favorite potato food? French fries. Tell me the color of your eyes, without using the name of a color: Uhhhh a cloudy sky right before rain? Ever been through a goth phase? Goth is my fucking AESTHETIC. I wish I could afford a truly gothic wardrobe, because you bet your sweet ass it's all I'd wear out. Can you remember your first phone? If so, what kind was it? I think so? It was a Blueberry, I believe. Who is your favourite character from Alice in Wonderland? Obviously the Cheshire cat. What is your favorite type of YouTube video to watch? Lately, it's been tarantula and snake channels/pet YouTubers. I still think my overall favorites are let's plays, but right now it's just stepping back a bit. What’s the next project you are excited to start? I have this pretty cool drawing I wanna do of a morbid meerkat doing a big toothy smile, doing a peace sign (but his fingers are syringes) with a crown blinking over his head. Inspired by the "Professional Griefers" lyric of "lab rat king." I just really wanna make it perfect and am procrastinating in fear of failing... Have you ever experienced a miracle? I don't think I believe in miracles. What are your top three names you like for a daughter? Alessandra, Justine, and Chloe, to name a few. Which did you like better: high school or college? High school, at least in most ways. What is the theme of your bedroom? It doesn't have a theme. My interests just kinda threw up everywhere, haha. Have you ever lived in a dorm? No. Were you raised religious? Yes. Do you do your own taxes, or do you hire a professional? I don't have to do taxes yet. What was the very first thing you ever saved up to buy with your own money? Venus was the first big thing, I think. Describe your favorite Christmas ornament: I don't know what that would be, honestly. We have so very many. What jobs did your parents have when you were growing up? Dad's always been a mailman, and he also had a second job as a carpenter for a while. Mom worked with special needs children at my elementary school as a teacher assistant. She also worked at the hospital at one point, doing some computer work. I don't remember her actual position. Are you taller than your mom? We're the same height. Would you marry someone if they were unable to have sex? Sure, that's not a big deal to me. Last reason you went to the ER? For myself, a suicide attempt/overdose. What was the last word document you typed? This survey, actually, so I could save progress as I combine them. What’s something you don’t think people take seriously enough? Global warming. Have you ever dated someone who had a child from a previous relationship? No. Is there any drama currently going on with your family? No. What was the last fruit or vegetable you chopped/sliced up? An apple. I wanted apple slices with peanut butter. What is your favorite Hostess/Little Debbie snack? Holy SHIT that is impossible. Maybe the devil cakes, but I really don't know. I love most of them. Do you/your family buy loaf from the bakery or bagged on the shelf? Bagged. White, wheat or other? Mom buys white bread, but my favorite is pumpernickel. What was the last non-fiction book you’ve read? (Not a school textbook!): I ain't got a clue. I don't really read non-fiction. What color are your headphones/earbuds? These are blue. Would you be embarrassed to find out you snored loudly in public? Yep. Thankfully, I don't snore. Do you feel guilty about killing bugs? Yep. How do you feel about coconut? Not a fan. ^ Ever cracked one open? Ha, I've always wanted to. Who did you last worry about and why? My mom. She's getting a CT scan ASAP due to chronic headaches and stomach pain, so I'm worried her cancer might be re-emerging. When was the last time you ate/drank something gross just to be polite? I don't know; I struggle to do this. If I don't like something, my face shows it. I can't help it. When did you last make up a baby’s bottle? Never. Do you have any framed black & white photos in your home? Who are they of? No. What’s the most expensive thing your car needed to get done? N/A If you had a thousand dollars to spend on a pricey brand you like but can’t really afford (until now of course), which ONE brand would you chose? I don't know. Real talk, I find most luxury brands to sell pretty ugly stuff... Do you like candy canes? Yeah. Do you still talk to any of your old teachers? Yes; one is my landlord. What color was the dress you wore to your senior prom? It was black. Ever go to another school’s prom? No. Do you like burning candles or incense? I love incense. Do you ever venture into the woods? What do you normally do in there? When I used to live in the woods, I did every now and then to take pictures. Does your significant other ever make you mix CDs? Single, but that would be so romantic. /swoons How did you dress your freshman year of high school? I was this emo/metalhead/goth creature. What is the best present you have ever received? My dog Teddy. <3 What is the best present you have ever given? I put the most effort into a scrapbook thing of well over a hundred reasons I loved my then-boyfriend Jason. Even though we're done, I honestly hope he still has it, just to remember. What is the best surprise you have ever had? Sara's parents paying for a flight up there to be with Sara for her birthday. Have you ever been robbed? No, thankfully. Ever kiss someone on the first date? No. Ever sleep with someone on the first date? Definitely a nope. Ever give someone a wrong phone number on purpose? No. What’s the strangest thing you have ever witnessed firsthand? I have no idea. It's... very morbid, but possibly dogs twitching after being euthanized. Seeing Teddy do it was such a strange, painful experience. Like there was still life in there... even though I know it was just his nerves doing their final hoorah and he was already dead. Ever seen a psychiatric ward? I've been in a mental hospital five or six times, so I'm uncomfortably familiar with them. What is the last thing you did that you didn’t want to do? Group therapy. I'm really burning out on it. Thankfully, I don't have it on the weekends. What is the last thing you convinced someone else to do? I dunno. If you could live in a different time, would you? When? Nah. Do you prefer to sleep alone or with someone else? Sleeping alone is more comfortably physically, but I usually prefer sleeping with a partner because there's this amazing feeling of safety, love, and companionship. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two. Do you prefer cold air and blankets, or warm air and no blankets? Cold air and blankets by ten miles. I can't sleep if I'm even remotely hot. How often do you dust? Sigh, not as much as I need to. What is the most "extreme" activity you have ever done? I haven't done very much that fits that description... so idk. Dr. Pepper or root beer? Dr. Pepper. I hate root beer. Last room you cleaned? Mine. Last thing you did that made you feel like an adult? Checked into the doctor's office by myself, haha... Talk about sad. What’s your favorite picture of your mom? Dad? It's not my business to actually share those pictures, but I can describe them. I fucking ADORE this candid photograph I took of my mom laughing; I will forever cherish it. It's morbid to think about, but it's absolutely a picture I'll frame of her once she's passed away. I don't have many pictures of Dad, but I do really like this picture we took together at Red Lobster once. Are you subscribed to anything (Magazines, monthly boxes, streaming sites, etc.)? Mom pays an Adobe Creative Cloud photography bundle subscription for me, but that's it. Last TV show series you finished? Fullmetal Alchemist with Sara. It was a rewatch for me, but she'd never seen it. What’s something exciting that’s happened to one of your friends recently? A childhood friend got engaged a few days back. Do you have any board games? If so, where do you keep them? We have a few somewhere. What were the last things you glued together? I don’t recall. What are your friends’ pets’ names? I'll just use Sara here since she's my best friend. She has two family dogs, Buster and Beesly, a cat named Winter, four ball pythons named Martha, Crowley, Little Dot, and Jane Marie, and Doris, a bearded dragon that I personally adore most. :') What all did you do today? I played World of Warcraft early this morning, but not for very long. I've been in a phase of being very uninterested in it lately. I've mostly just done surveys... lots of surveys. I'm just in the mood to. I've also been listening to music and watching John Wolfe play Amnesia: Rebirth periodically. If you live in a house, how many floors does it have? If you live in an apartment building, how many units does it have? It's just one floor. Would you like to live in a world with mythical creatures, even if they turned out to be evil or dangerous? Honestly... I probably would, haha. Are you scared of heights? Yes. When was the last time you lost something of great sentimental value? Did you ever end up finding it again? Never, I think and hope. What food do you find to be the most filling? Is this something you eat a lot of? Eggs or oatmeal. Not really. What do you think of people who purposefully train their dogs to fight or to be aggressive? They're fucking garbage human beings. If you suffer/have suffered with acne, do you squeeze your spots or do your best to just leave them be? Ugh, I was so bad (and still am if something pops up) about picking at it. Does your father have any hobbies? What are they? Sure. He loves sports, fishing, idk if he still plays video games, fantasy football... and I can't forget playing with his grandkids. It's hard for me to know all of them when I don't live with him and see him rarely. What did the last face mask you wore look like? It was just a white cotton one. Is there a specific song that you always request at parties? What is it? I don't go to parties. Would you rather read poetry or write poetry? Write it. Have you ever had any really infected injuries? I've had infected piercings as well as a badly infected pilonidal cyst. Is there any band out there that you like every song by them? No. Are you popular on any websites? No. What was the last song you listened to? Aaaaand now I'm hooked on "NIHIL" by 3TEETH. Are you currently texting anyone right now? No. When was the last time you played jump rope? Yikes, probably not since I was a kid. I used to love it. Who was the last person you offended? I dunno. What’s the earliest you’ve ever had to wake up for work? Not early. Do you know anyone who has changed their first name? I know trans people who have, yes. Do you know anyone who has been on life support and survived? No. At least, I don't believe so. Do your parents have a strong relationship together? They're divorced, and Mom at least can't stand him. Dad doesn't really care. Do you ever feel like you’re sharing too much about yourself online? Oh, I absolutely used to. I still might, idk. I've tried to reel it back some. How many windows are in the room you’re in? Eight, but they're just small, vertical rectangles stacked together, so it's not as revealing as it sounds. What was the last necklace you wore? My spiked choker, I think, for pictures. Or maybe the one I have with a bunch of big silver skulls. Do you think there are more dimensions than what we’re able to perceive? I don't think so, no. Does anyone in your family have schizophrenia? My half-sister on Dad's side that I've never met. Have you ever been in an abandoned house? A shack, yeah. Do you like art? I positively adore it. I could NOT imagine life without it. How about theatre? I don't care for it. Have you ever made breakfast for someone? Yes, for Sara. Do you talk to your crush? If you have one. Yeah, she's my best fren. If yes, what do you usually talk about? Nowadays I ask her almost daily how she's doing in regards to her progress of recovering from both serious physical and mental stressors. I try to always be an available ear if she ever wants to vent. Would you rather read or watch a video about something? Watch a video. In what ways have you fulfilled some of the hopes and dreams you had as a teenager? I've fulfilled none of those. What’s one stressful thing you’ve been trying to deal with lately? How have you been dealing with it? Inexplicable, chronic boredom/serious anhedonia. I've just... put up with it. I get pleasure out of essentially nothing most days, and it sucks big time. I just try to distract myself and force myself to do things I usually love, though I've been bad about actually succeeding in making me do said stuff... Is there a regional chain of store/restaurant/etc. in your area that you feel very loyal to? MOTHERFUCKIN BOJANGLE'S, BITCH. You think YOU have good fries somewhere? Oh hunny, sit down. Oftentimes, people warn us against getting tattoos or body modifications or dying our hair unnatural colors because we could be judged poorly for them. But has a more “alternative” look ever worked out in your favor? Well, I like myself better with my piercings and tattoos, and that's all that really matters to me. Do you have any daily routine/habit of that you’re really proud of keeping up? No. .-. Pick one of the following activities to do in a forest (assume you would be equally good at each one of these): Foraging for mushrooms, identifying trees, searching for specific types of bugs, trying to build something out of fallen branches and logs. Searching for bugs w/ my camera!!! But that all sounds fun. What’s the hardest class you’ve ever taken? My most recent math course that I failed horribly.

[thatoneluckybee]

I. I tried to send you mail but it. It broke.

HOWEVER, YOUR MAILMAN STOPS AT NOTHING

It’s a pokeball!!

AHHHHHH LEMME GO DO NOT DO THAT!!!!

[scatteredhq]

THE LIGHT IS FADING … are you still here with us, ALI, DIWA & GWENNO?welcome to new york, HAN SOLO, TONY STARK, THOMAS ALICE CULLEN & SANSA STARK. you will receive a link to the discord shortly !!

𝙰 𝙵𝙻𝙰𝚂𝙷 𝙾𝙵 𝙻𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃 𝙰𝙿𝙿𝙴𝙰𝚁𝚂 … but you’re still TONY STARK ( HE/HIM ) right? the FORTY, TECH CEO that resembles OSCAR ISAAC. people tend to associate you with PENHALIGON COLOGNE WITH HINTS OF MOTOR OIL, THE SUN STRIKING OFF METAL AND INTO YOUR EYES, THE BASS OF A HAIR BAND SONG VIBRATING THE FLOOR, but i’ve thought you were more INNOVATIVE, SELF-ASSURED yet HYPOCRITICAL, RECKLESS. maybe that’s just because we’re seeing you in a light now. is it true that you still have the ARC REACTOR with you? maybe not, because i think someone said you DO NOT have your memories of MARVEL. regardless of the circumstances, welcome to new york, DIWA. ( cst, she/her, 21+ )

𝙰 𝙵𝙻𝙰𝚂𝙷 𝙾𝙵 𝙻𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃 𝙰𝙿𝙿𝙴𝙰𝚁𝚂 … but you’re still THOMAS ( HE / HIM ) right? the TWENTY - SEVEN, MAILMAN that resembles MASON GOODING. people tend to associate you with BATTERED RUNNING SHOES , A WILLINGNESS TO RISK IT ALL FOR YOUR FRIENDS + THE FEELING OF SAND BETWEEN YOUR TOES, but i’ve thought you were more ENERGETIC, CARINGyet GULLIBLE, SCATTERBRAINED. maybe that’s just because we’re seeing you in a light now. is it true that you still have the SMALL FIGURINE CHUCK MADE with you? maybe not, because i think someone said you DO NOT have your memories of THE MAZE RUNNER SERIES. regardless of the circumstances, welcome to new york, GWENNO. ( cet, they / them, 21+ )

𝙰 𝙵𝙻𝙰𝚂𝙷 𝙾𝙵 𝙻𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃 𝙰𝙿𝙿𝙴𝙰𝚁𝚂 … but you’re still SANSA STARK ( SHE / HER ) right? the THIRTY, LAWYER that resembles ANGELINA MICHELLE. people tend to associate you with A BIRD FINALLY FLEEING ITS CAGE , SOFT MUTED PINKT ONES + AN ELABORATE SKINCARE ROUTINE, but i’ve thought you were more CHARMING, INTELLIGENT yet CALCULATING, GUARDED.maybe that’s just because we’re seeing you in a light now. is it true that you still have the SILVER CROWN with you? maybe not, because i think someone said you DO NOT have your memories of GAME OF THRONES. regardless of the circumstances, welcome to new york, GWENNO. ( cet, they / them, 21+ )

𝙰 𝙵𝙻𝙰𝚂𝙷 𝙾𝙵 𝙻𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃 𝙰𝙿𝙿𝙴𝙰𝚁𝚂 … but you’re still ALICE CULLEN ( SHE / HER ) right? the TWENTY - THREE, STYLIST that resembles ASHLEY BESTDRESSED. people tend to associate you with UNSOLICITED FASHION ADVICE , SPORTS CARS + THE ABILITY TO LIGHT UP ANY ROOM WITH YOUR SHEER PRESENCE, but i’ve thought you were more LOVING, GENEROUS yet BRUTALLY HONEST, NOISY. maybe that’s just because we’re seeing you in a light now. is it true that you still have the CAR KEYS with you? maybe not, because i think someone said you DO have your memories of THE TWILIGHT SAGA. regardless of the circumstances, welcome to new york, GWENNO. ( cet, they / them, 21+ )

[elcinelateleymickyandonie]

JEROME COURTLAND.

Filmography

Actor

1944: Together Again

1945: Kiss and Tell

1948: The Man from Colorado

1949: The Walking Hills

1949: Make Believe Ballroom

1949: Tokyo Joe

1949: Battleground

1950: A Woman of Distinction

1950: The Palomino: Steve Norris

1950: When You're Smiling

1951: Santa Fe

1951 - The Texas Rangers

1951: Sunny Side of the Street

1951: The Barefoot Mailman

1952: Cripple Creek

1953: Take the High Ground!

1954: The Bamboo Prison

1957: The Saga of Andy Burnett (TV)

1958: Tonka

1959: Noah's Ark (voice)

1960: O sole mio

1959: Tales of the Vikings (TV series)

1961: Le Avventure di Mary Read

1962: Tharus figlio di Attila

1962: Oriental Cafe

1965: Black Spurs

1965: The Restless Ones.

director

1972: Run, Cougar, Run

1974: Hog Wild (TV)

1974: Diamonds on Wheels (TV)

1977: The Love Boat (TV series)

1978: The Sky Trap (TV)

1978: Fantasy Island (TV series)

1979: Knots Landing (TV series)

1981: Amy

1981: Dynasty (TV series)

1981: Falcon Crest (TV series)

1982: Matt Houston (TV series)

1983: Hotel (TV series)

1985: The Colbys (TV series)

1989: Island Son (TV series).

Producer

1965-1966: Gallegher (TV series)

1966: Demain des hommes

1969: Gidget Grows Up (TV)

1970: Nancy (TV series)

1972: Movin 'On (TV)

1974: Hog Wild (TV)

1975: The Haunted Mountain

1975: Ride a Wild Pony

1977: Harness Fever (TV)

1977: Pete's Dragon

1978: The Sky Trap (TV)

1978: Return from Witch Mountain

1978: The Young Runaways (TV)

1980: The Ghosts of Buxley Hall (TV)

1981: The Devil and Max Devlin.

Créditos: Tomado de Wikipedia

https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jerome_Courtland

[katiechercherry]

I had the weirdest dream. Like, this was a dream saga of weirdness. There were multiple parts to this thing. It was just weird.

Part 1: I’m in my house. They are going to be holding master chef there, and my parents are preparing to leave me and my brother there and go live in a hotel. Naturally, just before Gordon Ramsey gets there I fall asleep on the kitchen countertop and my parents pass out on the table. Gordon wakes them up and asks them questions about the house. He is apparently satisfied with our answers, and says he’ll let me stay there during the filming. I am then magically trnasported to the attic, then to the basement.

2: now That in in the basement, I am some type of were-creature, like a bear or something. But not really a were-creature? More like a bear made out of static and weird dark energy/matter/insects or something with a human mind. I go upstairs (Ramsey is gone) and see another we’re-creature come out of the bathroom. It’s nighttime now, and I tackle her and try to fuse together. As I do this, we go outside and I finally tackle them to the floor behind our front table, luckily just as a delivery guy is arriving. The other were-thing tries to alert it, but it is all in vain. Eventually, I grow Sure that the mailman has heard us, and just get up. A cat runs past (a sentient, talking cat) and I feel the need to speak to it. However, as I chase the cat past the porch and around into the woods, it tells me it doesn’t trust me. I run into it’s chicken and goose acquaintances, and it tells me it trusts what the chicken says, so if I convince the chicken of my story, it’ll believe me. I convince the chicken, who tells the cat, but she still doesn’t believe me. She walks into the forest and approaches s wooden table with a circle inscribed around it. As she steps into the circle, the forest changes time around her, reverting it to the way it was 100 years ago. Suddenly, why so many children(what???) have gone missing within the forest makes sense.

3: Suddenly near the mouth of the forest there’s a grill and a table. I am no longer a weird we’re-creature. The grill is weird— it’s vertical, and there’s a solid sheet just above the fire and then a grill, and vertically so the front of the fire is visible. There’s a (sentient) bag of ice, and I start melting it on the flames. As it melts I feel a sadistic sense of pleasure. My partner(who appears out of nowhere) is a cow, And gives me a bucket of ice water to put the ice in. I take turns putting the ice over the fire and in the bucket in some sort of weird pain/pleasure thing. During this process, dream me gets really turned on. Go figure.

4: the ice disappears. We are still near the forest and there is still a table, but I am now in a cake-baking competition with the cow as my assistant. However, I have no recipe and have only the vaguest idea of how to make a cake. I gather all the ingredients, and when I turn around for cocoa powder I see I don’t have any. However, out in the woods on the table within the time-changing circle, there is a box. I was spooked because the forest changed again once the cat left— it now holds a multitude of parking spots, but still with trees and leaves and stuff. I sent cow lady out, and she managed to bring it back after changing the forest back to the present. However, it turns out she brought back a box of baking powder instead of cocoa powder, so I sent her off in search of more. Realizing I needed baking powder anyways, I added some to the bowl. Somehow I ended up flashing to a shelf of desserts from a weird perspective, and pulled out every product on the shelf. There was chocolate, there was molasses and energy bars and even ice cream but there was no cocoa powder, so o gave up.

5: i am no longer in a familiar place. I am in some futuristic pod spaceship thing, and it turns out that here my parents are immortal—as long as they don’t go out in sunlight. Apparently my aunt has gone missing, and I’m mad at my parents for not looking for her. The cat from before appears and lures me out into the sunlight. I go out and go to some sort of futuristic park with my friends, where we end up having to give some weird old Japanese guy massages multiple times. It was very gross and weirdly sexual and dream me was disturbed, but my dream friend said it was the custom so I grudgingly accepted it. Then we went back to my house and my dream friend disappeared just like my aunt, so I decided to go to public school to investigate. I got on the bus with another friend and just sorda sat therre, but I stayed on the bus too long and missed going into school. I panicked and my missing person business cards went everywhere, and I had to pick them up. I teleported home and confronted my immortal parents, and then woke up.

[musiconanironingboard]

9 July 2020: Two purchases from John Prine’s website:

John Prine Live (Oh Boy, 1988)

Lost Dogs and Mixed Blessings (Oh Boy, 1995)

When Prine died in the early days of the COVID pandemic—he was one of the first celebrities to succumb to the virus—I had already been listening a lot to his 2011 compilation of pre-fame recordings, The Singing Mailman. After he initially took ill, I decided I wanted to begin accumulating his catalog, and I’ve written about the saga of trying to find copies of his first four albums in multiple posts here. I also started spending a lot of time on Prine’s website, determining what albums I wanted to buy there. The two albums here are what I selected for what would be the first of a string of orders from Oh Boy. They arrived together in a completely inappropriate envelope, both of their jewel cases half smashed.

This is Prine’s first official live album; it came out during a five-year gap between studio albums, the longest Prine had gone without new material since his 1971 debut. Below we have the front cover (removed from the case) and opened case; I didn’t post the back cover, because it’s basically identical to the back of the booklet pictured here.

Next up is Prine’s twelfth studio album, Lost Dogs and Mixed Blessings. He had been on my radar in the early ’90s, when his “comeback” album The Missing Years was released and I enraged hipsters by programming it at my university radio station. By the time he got around to its follow-up Lost Dogs, I had graduated and no longer had easy access to John Prine albums, and at the time he wasn’t someone I was actively purchasing. My brother was big into these two albums, and I remember he rated Lost Dogs quite highly*, but somehow I’d never owned a copy until now. Oh Boy gave The Missing Years its first vinyl issue just a few years back, including bonus tracks; I wonder why they never did the same with Lost Dogs? The two albums feel like a unified pair to me.

Below we have the front cover, once again removed from the jewel case; the opened package; and the back cover, also removed.

Prine purchases have continued, and he has quite a few albums that I still don’t own as of this writing.

*Update: After a recent phone call, it appears I have this wrong!

[reddragonraz]

Mailman saga: the finale