#Mateo jwhj0715

[its-blorbin-time]

Goncharov remake fancast (I’m really proud of this)

Lin-Manuel Miranda as Narrator

Toby Maguire as Ice Pick Joe

Leonardo DiCaprio as Valery

Harry Styles as Andrey

Timothee Chalamet as Goncharov

Jennifer Lawrence as Katya

Kirsten Stewart as Sofia

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as Mario

[hussyknee]

i'm so confused rn, can you explain the goncharov thing?? i get off tumblr for five minutes

(Edits closed as of 28 Nov.)

Lmaoooo

Nah I getchu. So this post has been circulating for like two years:

Link to post.

But yesterday, it had inspired someone to do this:

Link to post.

Next thing I knew there were fake Letterboxed reviews.

Goncharov moodboards. Really good ones.

Link to post.

Meta analysis. So many fake meta essays. Disturbingly good ones. And of course the memes. (Edit: HAVE I SAID THIS SHIT IS DISTURBING)

As you can see, the myth just started to grow, characters and ships and tropes being added one after the other, almost bizzarely without contradiction, until there was enough of shape to the whole thing for people to start posting fanfic about it on AO3. "No beta we die like ice-pick Joe" is already a tag.

Link to post.

It was hilarious in the beginning, but the way it's developed within less than a day, kind of like it's being willed into existence, is freaking me out a bit. We're toying with powers beyond our comprehension. 😂😂😂

Link to post.

Of course, there could be an ulterior motive as well.

Link to post (tags mine).

Edit: guys, please tag these posts "unreality" so people with disassociation issues can filter them out (not this one, this is an explainer). <3

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Edit 2: Aparently the boots in the original post are actually referring to a movie called Gomorrah that came out in 2008, directed by Mateo Garrone, based on the Scampia Feud. And other people had also been making posts about the fake movie for a while before the poster took off.

found by @thepotch

Edit 3: Explainer: why did those boots have this movie on them anyway?

Edit 4: Alt text added to all images courtesy of @valentineish ❤️

Edit 5: Turns out tumblr has done this kind of thing before. Nine years in this hell place and I had to have "Squiddles" and penis smp explained in the replies.

Edit 6: This post collects the Lore so far.

Edit 7: Lynda Carter (real one)/ earns more/ Tumblr cred.

Edit 8: Holy shit y'all we have the theme music. With sheet music. And it's on Spotify!

Edit 9: THERE IS A TRAILER WITH THE THEME MUSIC

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I made this post 18 hours after the movie poster went up. Closed edits 27 hours after first posting. So all of the above happened within 45 hours of the movie poster going up.

Edit 10: Google document live-compiling all the lore so far (Day 3)

Edit 11: Masterpost of Goncharov soundtracks (Day 3)

Edit 12: Entertainment news articles covering the Gonch-posting (real) (Contd from yday)

Edit 13: The music from the masterpost all compiled into a 31-minute original score with video edits on YouTube (edit: unfortunately taken down)

Edit 14: Staff's Goncharov art showcase for Tumblr Tuesday

As of closing on Day 3 there are 371 works in the AO3 tag.

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Updating with Day 3 shenanigans I missed yesterday:

Edit 15: Goncharov TV Tropes page

Edit 16: Ethics of Gonchposting

Important PSA 1 (how to reduce harm to Tumblr's neurodivergents)

Important PSA 2 (reality affirmation, anti-bullying)

Important PSA 3 (why you should stop trying to vandalise legit information sites)

Edit 17: Character lore from beezlebub whose poster they originated from

Edit 18: What we know about/ Director Matteo JWHJ0715 (#unreality)

Edit 19: Link to post with screenshotted and described NYT article (scroll down) and this golden exerpt from BuzzFeed: 💀

(alt text included)

End of Day 4 there are now 485 works in the Goncharov tag on AO3

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Didn't get to update this on Day 5, so these are the Day 5 doings:

More trailers!

Trailer 1 (My favourite)

Trailer 2

Trailer 3

Trailer 4

I also just found out about the Goncharov Game Jam.

It appears this opened a day after after the meme took off.

Goncharov was first entered into Wikipedia between Day 4 and 5 (attempts to vandalise it with fake info don't count, incidentally – please knock that shit off) under List of Internet Phenomena. This was then expanded into its own Wikipedia page at the end of Day 5 because, according to the talk history: "the topic now meets the notability threshold for its own artice due to significant coverage in The New York Times and other sources cited." We're on Wikipedia, people!

And then we made The Guardian half a day later. So while the meme is definitely dying down to embers by now, it still stays winning.

YouTube channels with episodes on the meme:

InformOverlord (4:30)

Lessons in Meme Culture (2:43)

End of Day of 5 there were 511 works on AO3, and End of Day 6 (today) there are 556.

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🚨BREAKING 🚨 from Martin Scorsese's daughter's TikTok (real actual)

tw: unreality:

We did it you guys!

Clarification: Francesca Scorcese asked her Dad about the meme and Martin played along. Please reblog this PSA to help Tumblr people with psychosis. Thanks.

Final edit: Day 8. Media reactions to Scorcese's TikTok (everyone from Forbes to Vulture). That one Tumblr user who said they'd do a screenplay if their post got notes has promised to shoot a single scene, but please don't be dicks just because you reblogged it; leave them alone until they get around to it themselves. As of end of Day 8 there are 609 works in the AO3 tag. I love all you lunatics. Peace! ❤️

[spinner-of-yarns]

[id: Gayle meme. Text reads: Okay, was anyone going to tell me that the son of Czech genius Jára Cimrman was a license plate or was I just supposed to deduce that from a bunch of posts about Mateo JWHJ0715 myself?]

[woman-respecter]

um so like…u guys do know that Goncharov was directed by Mateo JWHJ0715 and not Scorcese, right? cause I see a lot of people claiming Sorcese directed it 😤

[bloodybootsem]

I keep seeing every one talking about The “Scorsese- directed” Goncharov, but it was only produced by Martin Scorsese. It was directed by Mateo JWHJ0715: curious name on it’s own, but the fact that no one has ever actually laid claim to the directors credit is it’s own baffling puzzle.

If it’s a pseudonym for Scorsese himself, why would he attach his name as a presenter but not the director? I think Mateo JWHJ0715 may actually be an “Alan Smithee” for the underappreciated Will Navidson, best known for his work, The Navidson Record. My argument is this: 1. Most of Navidson’s work was documentary, and the camera work in Goncharov has a very documentary style, particularly “Ice Pick” Joe’s first on screen kill, and the infamous cigar scene. 2. Karen Green had a quiet yet deep friendship with Marisa Mell before her tumultuous marriage to Will Navidson. This isn’t really evidence, but it is very coincidental.

3. It seems unlikely that Navidson would never explore fiction, but if he lacked confidence in his work, it does seem likely he would try to use a pseudonym on his first attempt.

4.The use of space and time. One of Navidson’s hallmarks was his use of space and time as themes throughout his entire oeuvre. The still shots of clocks in Goncharov are almost completely mirrored in the first half of the Navidson Record. And in fact, in the Navidson record, the space seems to embiggen as we approach the end of the film, which is completely reversed from Goncharov’s ending. The third act feels compressed and claustrophobic, taking place almost exclusively indoors. Even the few outdoor scenes are so close to the actors, it feels intrusive.  The end shot closes from Goncharov’s office up on Goncharov himself, until the camera pans to the knife and lingers leaves the audience with the feeling of also being caught up in the Italian/Russian mafia drama.

I realize most of this is circumstantial and assumptive, but until Mateo JWHJ0715 steps forward and claims the credit due, I will believe this was directed by the great, missing Will Navidson.

[marvellouspinecone]

8, 13 and/or 22 for the goncharov ask, please? Hope you are having a great day!

Thank you for the ask! Any excuse to talk about blorbos

8) A quote from the movie I use on the daily

I have to admit I didn't know the film existed until yesterday when it started trending, idk how it managed to escape me, maybe bacause I'm not American? So I haven't had a chance to abuse any of the quotes. "Do you hear the clock ticking?" would've been an easy answer, but I think Mario's "God is looking away, anything can happen" has great meme potential, only in the way that the jokes based on tragic moments in media are the funniest (that dw post with Rose from Doomsday photoshopped into a picture of a vending machine? Still cracks me up as much as the actual scene makes me cry).

13) My favourite ship

Not to sound basic or anything, but it's Katya/Sofia, any day. Maybe I'm just gay, but no one does it like them. The codependency? The loneliness and isolation that they are in together? The childhood friends to strangers to enemies to maybe lovers thing they got going on? Impeccable. Honestly the fact that they found each other again, in Naples of all places, so far from the town they both grew up in, seems more like fate that anything that Katya and Goncharov have. I just wish we could see more of them than the seventies dudebro mafia thriller was willing to show us. We could've had it all if Scorsese and Mateo JWHJ0715 weren't cowards.

And here I absolutely have to address the religious themes. I don't even think that the creators understood the implication, it's not like 1970's Americans knew a lot about life in Soviet Russia, but we have to understand that both Katya and Sofia have most likely spent their formative years in a very anti-religious culture (hell, Goncharov himself makes a mistake of talking dismissively about faith in a deeply catholic country). And who Katya gives her dead father's Saint Nickolai locket to? Sofia. She is willing to part with the thing that protects her to keep Sofia safe. It might've been played in the film as not that big of a deal, but the implications! I'm going to combust!

22) My favourite Goncharov reference in unrelated media

This question is definitely the hardest because I am not much of a film connoisseur, I only watched Goncharov bc everyone was talking about it. I guess taking another JWHJ0715's work is cheating, since it's not entirely unrelated, but it's the best I got.

JWHJ0715's written the screenplay for a movie "Back At Last" that we studied at uni at some point as a part of a post-modernism course. The set up is different to Goncharov, but the themes are pretty similar, it's obvious that he has been drawing inspiration from his older work more than a decade later. So in this one in the big climactic scene in the end the main character says to her husband "Spring comes to Florence", with Florence being the hometown of both of them. I didn't realize it at the moment, but this most definitely was a "Goncharov" callback, but with an insight of the older Mateo, and the movie really reflects that change. I just think it's sweet that the implicit message here is that after winter there is always spring. "Goncharov" might have reflected Mateo's more pessimistic outlook on life, but in twelve years he is able to look back and say "it does get better, you can come back home again", which, knowing his life story, makes me cry a little bit. Idk, I may be looking too deeply into it, as I tend to do, but oh well, that's what makes engaging with media fun!

[teenagemutantninaturtles]

i feel like there’s not enough ice pick joe talk. i mean the chemistry between him and andrey is palpable. if you don’t see the secondary goncharov love triangle you aren’t really watching the movie.

i mean there had to be a reason mateo JWHJ0715 chose to include him in the bar scene. he has value beyond just a side character