#get on our level twits

[hussyknee]

i'm so confused rn, can you explain the goncharov thing?? i get off tumblr for five minutes

(Edits closed as of 28 Nov.)

Lmaoooo

Nah I getchu. So this post has been circulating for like two years:

Link to post.

But yesterday, it had inspired someone to do this:

Link to post.

Next thing I knew there were fake Letterboxed reviews.

Goncharov moodboards. Really good ones.

Link to post.

Meta analysis. So many fake meta essays. Disturbingly good ones. And of course the memes. (Edit: HAVE I SAID THIS SHIT IS DISTURBING)

As you can see, the myth just started to grow, characters and ships and tropes being added one after the other, almost bizzarely without contradiction, until there was enough of shape to the whole thing for people to start posting fanfic about it on AO3. "No beta we die like ice-pick Joe" is already a tag.

Link to post.

It was hilarious in the beginning, but the way it's developed within less than a day, kind of like it's being willed into existence, is freaking me out a bit. We're toying with powers beyond our comprehension. 😂😂😂

Link to post.

Of course, there could be an ulterior motive as well.

Link to post (tags mine).

Edit: guys, please tag these posts "unreality" so people with disassociation issues can filter them out (not this one, this is an explainer). <3

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Edit 2: Aparently the boots in the original post are actually referring to a movie called Gomorrah that came out in 2008, directed by Mateo Garrone, based on the Scampia Feud. And other people had also been making posts about the fake movie for a while before the poster took off.

found by @thepotch

Edit 3: Explainer: why did those boots have this movie on them anyway?

Edit 4: Alt text added to all images courtesy of @valentineish ❤️

Edit 5: Turns out tumblr has done this kind of thing before. Nine years in this hell place and I had to have "Squiddles" and penis smp explained in the replies.

Edit 6: This post collects the Lore so far.

Edit 7: Lynda Carter (real one)/ earns more/ Tumblr cred.

Edit 8: Holy shit y'all we have the theme music. With sheet music. And it's on Spotify!

Edit 9: THERE IS A TRAILER WITH THE THEME MUSIC

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I made this post 18 hours after the movie poster went up. Closed edits 27 hours after first posting. So all of the above happened within 45 hours of the movie poster going up.

Edit 10: Google document live-compiling all the lore so far (Day 3)

Edit 11: Masterpost of Goncharov soundtracks (Day 3)

Edit 12: Entertainment news articles covering the Gonch-posting (real) (Contd from yday)

Edit 13: The music from the masterpost all compiled into a 31-minute original score with video edits on YouTube (edit: unfortunately taken down)

Edit 14: Staff's Goncharov art showcase for Tumblr Tuesday

As of closing on Day 3 there are 371 works in the AO3 tag.

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Updating with Day 3 shenanigans I missed yesterday:

Edit 15: Goncharov TV Tropes page

Edit 16: Ethics of Gonchposting

Important PSA 1 (how to reduce harm to Tumblr's neurodivergents)

Important PSA 2 (reality affirmation, anti-bullying)

Important PSA 3 (why you should stop trying to vandalise legit information sites)

Edit 17: Character lore from beezlebub whose poster they originated from

Edit 18: What we know about/ Director Matteo JWHJ0715 (#unreality)

Edit 19: Link to post with screenshotted and described NYT article (scroll down) and this golden exerpt from BuzzFeed: 💀

(alt text included)

End of Day 4 there are now 485 works in the Goncharov tag on AO3

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Didn't get to update this on Day 5, so these are the Day 5 doings:

More trailers!

Trailer 1 (My favourite)

Trailer 2

Trailer 3

Trailer 4

I also just found out about the Goncharov Game Jam.

It appears this opened a day after after the meme took off.

Goncharov was first entered into Wikipedia between Day 4 and 5 (attempts to vandalise it with fake info don't count, incidentally – please knock that shit off) under List of Internet Phenomena. This was then expanded into its own Wikipedia page at the end of Day 5 because, according to the talk history: "the topic now meets the notability threshold for its own artice due to significant coverage in The New York Times and other sources cited." We're on Wikipedia, people!

And then we made The Guardian half a day later. So while the meme is definitely dying down to embers by now, it still stays winning.

YouTube channels with episodes on the meme:

InformOverlord (4:30)

Lessons in Meme Culture (2:43)

End of Day of 5 there were 511 works on AO3, and End of Day 6 (today) there are 556.

--

🚨BREAKING 🚨 from Martin Scorsese's daughter's TikTok (real actual)

tw: unreality:

We did it you guys!

Clarification: Francesca Scorcese asked her Dad about the meme and Martin played along. Please reblog this PSA to help Tumblr people with psychosis. Thanks.

Final edit: Day 8. Media reactions to Scorcese's TikTok (everyone from Forbes to Vulture). That one Tumblr user who said they'd do a screenplay if their post got notes has promised to shoot a single scene, but please don't be dicks just because you reblogged it; leave them alone until they get around to it themselves. As of end of Day 8 there are 609 works in the AO3 tag. I love all you lunatics. Peace! ❤️

[ravenwoodalum]

on karamelle, why it sucks, and redeeming azteca's reputation.

I just got to Karamelle for the second time, and good lord. I hadn't forgotten how much I hated it, but it hit me like a wall of bricks. And I'm already preparing myself to marathon it and be fucking done questing here for at least a year.

I think it breaks down like this.

Baby's first workers rights movement/sugary-sweet surveillance state Listen. I know this is a game that doesn't allow for player characters to have much individual impact on the in-game narrative. I know we've had to do errands for cops. I know we work for a war criminal. I KNOW there are flaws in the system. But there's something about the way that Karamelle's set up that makes it all feel so. much. worse. And that's the fact that Karamelle has such a stellar reputation within the Spiral before this. The happiest place in the Spiral, the sweetest treats in the Spiral. Everyone seems to fucking love this place. Almost no one outside of those actually working there seem to understand how corrupt it is. And so the YW is talked down to at every turn, like this is their first exposure to a corrupt environment. And sure, maybe it is within, canon. YW gets isekai'd at a very young age and then made into a child soldier, maybe this is actually the first time in canon that they've been introduced to these concepts. But (and this may just be me) it feels really rude to the player -- who might actually have experience with these ideas -- to make them feel like a fucking idiot with the dialogue options. Karamelle's characters just feel rude.

Oh, so the Gobblers were a fatphobic, Roald Dahl type thing from the start. Cool cool cool. Any of you ever read Roald Dahl's book "The Twits"? It's a very unremarkable story all things considered, except for this bit.

Aside from Roald Dahl's unavoidable history of antisemitism, does this remind you of anything? Honestly, this reminds me of the Gobbblers.

We first meet the Gobblers around level 10 in Wizard City -- creatures driven by consumption. And then we get to Empyrea and hear that the Alphoi -- skinny "civilized" creatures -- can become Gobblers if they eat too much or are unhealthy in their eating habits. Which makes one of our oldest running enemies a loop-around fatphobic thing, ESPECIALLY when we get to them in Karamelle, the home world of the Gobblers. Rosina, especially, just oozes fatphobia and diet culture. The literal vilification of being fat isn't even subtext, it's just text.

The Old One, The Cabal, and what to do when your escape from the world ends up shoving what you were escaping from right back in your face. When I was in sophomore year of college, fall of 2019, I had one of the worst mental health periods of my life. Antisemitism was fucking everywhere, I was always a moment away from a panic attack, and it felt like no one understood. While I'm lucky in the fact that I was able to get an official diagnosis for genetically inherited PTSD, alongside the reassurance that I wasn't fucking crazy, there was a period when I just needed to go home for a moment. So when I was going back to my dorm from the dining hall to make sure all my stuff was ready to go, I opened up tumblr and made a post on a long-gone RP sideblog I had for the Swedish Chef (y'know, from The Muppets? long story), and before I'd even gotten halfway across campus, I'd received threatening and violent messages from someone RPing as Borat, which only got worse when they realized they were talking to an actual Jewish person.

That escape from reality didn't even last five fucking minutes before the horrors I was trying to avoid found me.

Now, Wizard101 has always been a source of comfort for me. I made my account fourteen years ago, and I do not know what my life would look like if I hadn't done that. There are flaws with this game, yes, sure, but over the past five years (since I got a wiz compatible laptop) I've developed a bit of a reliance on it to get me through the horrors. No better form of escapism.

But no art form is free of the horrors.

And Wizard101 has the fucking Cabal and Old One.

The Cabal within the fiction of Wizard101 is a secret, nefarious organization pulling the strings on events across the Spiral, controlling history from the shadows. This term literally originates in antisemitic conspiracy theory, with the term 'cabal' originating from the term for Jewish mysticism, 'kabbalah'. And I promise you, you've heard plenty of applications of this conspiracy theory in real life too. It feeds into the idea that Jews (or 'global elite') control the government, the media, the banks.

And then, we get to the man in control of it all. The Old One. Whether or not this was intended, he's a walking, talking antisemitic caricature. The octopus as a symbol for the mythical Elders of Zion is a longstanding dogwhistle (see attached for a guide to this and many other visual dogwhistles). "Oh, he's based on H.P. Lovecraft-" So he's based on the works of a famous racist and antisemite, cool cool cool.

It's just exhausting, walking through a world that is so clearly modeled after Germany and other parts of eastern Europe, and finding antisemitism around every corner. And even more exhausting considering it's almost impossible to tell if they meant to do it. Antisemitism is so fucking ingrained in the world at this point that I don't actually know what they meant to do here, what they did maliciously or out of ignorance, or if any of it was put in with the purpose of turning it on its head. Over the past few years, it has become glaringly obvious that a lot of people don't realize when they're running across antisemitism, or even taking part in it. Including people I really thought would know better.

Side note. For those of you who know I see Dasein as Jewish, you may be wondering how I balance that out with the antisemitic nature of The Old One, since they share a physical form. I think of it like this. Dasein did not choose The Old One. He did not choose to resemble that, but he can attempt to reclaim it. Dasein's Judaism comes not from the resemblance he holds to the hatred that haunts us, but from the love that keeps us going. He questions authority and longstanding tradition, chooses to do what's right instead of what's expected, and is kind in the face of hatred. He literally makes himself, and a world, out of nothingness. Something out of Nothing. He's so Jewish you guys.

The Spiral's "Worst World Award" goes to... I know we all say "fuck Azteca" pretty often on this website, but I don't think it deserves to be deigned the worst world in Wiz. My main gripe with Azteca is how inaccessible it gets after Xibalba strikes -- the flashing lights aren't exactly photosensitive friendly. Which further lends frustration to my completionist nature, meaning I have to finish all quests, badges, and fishing before I finish the world (making it take forever to finish). Aside from that, there really isn't that much wrong with the world (and if you argue that it sucks because you can't save Azteca, I get it, but some tragedies are inescapable by their very nature). It's a problem of gameplay, versus a problem of plot in the case of Karamelle. And maybe its just because I'm a writer, but problems with plot feel much more egregious. I really do think Karamelle deserves more vitriol than it gets.

G-d, I can't wait to get to Lemuria.

[wexhappyxfew]

when all else fails

(a/n): here it is! a Silver Bullets ensemble piece featuring all of the lovely ladies that man the B-17 Silver Bullets that is mentioned so very often. let's just say....adjusting to a new pilot after losing one that did so much in terms of care - is hard. but having each other, makes it a bit easier. (featuring also: frank, the orange cat that meatball chases when warranted).

"How many times has he mentioned that the God-forsaken cat loves him?" muttered Paulina as she came and settled herself into the chair besides Carrie, shaking her head and lacing her fingers together like an elaborate pie crust.

"Dougie'll probably keep saying it," Carrie offered and then nodded at Marianne, who was sat in her own chair, working her way through another beer, "Frank doing okay?" Marianne shrugged and glanced at the orange cat, curled up at her feet, licking at his paw, eyes half-opened as he lounged on the wooden ground of the flying club.

"Looks like he's as fine as he'll ever be," Marianne said, "Dougie snuck him a thing of cheese earlier, so….let's just say, he's content." Carrie snickered as Paulina glanced down at the little ball of orange.

"Remind me how you're going to get him home again? Strapping him up in Silver Bullets, his own mask to fit his whiskers, a parachute made out of napkins?" Paulina offered and Marianne chuckled.

"I'll just ask Benny, he got Meatball over here, I'll be damned if I can strangle Frank into a harness, but it'll happen," Marianne said, "plus, he's a big sky enthusiastic." Carrie raised a brow. Paulina blinked.

"Come again?" murmured Carrie.

"He climbs up the trees, ya know? Entertains the kids. Jumps outta them, too. Crazy son-of-a-gun. There's a reason he's got nine lives, well…probably five now." Marianne said with a sigh, like an exasperated mother, "I blame Meatball."

"Why are we blaming Meatball?" a new voice said, entering the picture, the bright-eyed silhouette of Margie Harlowe coming up to them, Kennedy Farley in tow - like sunshine and gray skies clashing together in the middle of summer, but somehow making it work.

"He chases Frank around," muttered Marianne, "therefore, Frank has it out for him. Don't think Benny would agree but." Kennedy glanced downwards.

"A real wild-eyed killer there, Mar." Kennedy murmured and Marianne grumbled.

"He's just a softie on the outside that's all," Marianne said and Carrie chuckled.

"I can promise you, if I wave a thing of cheese in front of him, he's done for, there's no fighting with Meatball," Carrie said, patting Marianne on the shoulder and she all but sighed.

"It's alright, Frank, I'd be the same way," Paulina called down to Frank - who sat wildly unbothered, "swear to ya, you could wake me from a dead-sleep."

"Any of you meet the new pilot?" Margie asked, sweeping her eyes through the current group of four staring her in the face, "Alright, what's with the blank looks?"

"Don't think we're the ones you should be asking," Carrie said quietly, "you think Francis is gonna lose it? We know what happened when Harding tried with the other pilot…..Francis couldn't stand her."

"That's because that Captain Atchinson was nothing but a stuck up twit with a stick up her ass," Kennedy offered, "told me three times about how to load my goddamn .50 cal - last time I ever went up with her telling me what to do. I know how to load a gun, sweetheart."

"Bunch of bullshit, too," Paulina said, "you know she told me I had to at least eat proper in front of the guys. Does she not realize most of these guys saw me on my death bed when we arrived in Greenland? Puking my guts up as I pathetically begged for Major Cleven to take me to the grave. That was the least of my worries-"

"Well, our new pilot is not Captain Atchinson - she's actually really sweet, level-headed, can hold her own." Margie said butting in, "You all oughta introduce yourselves, stop hiding."

"Gotta name?" Marianne asked, a bit more hopeful than the others.

"Annie Bradshaw." Margie said, a hint of a smile on her lips, "She was in Fort Des Moines, but she's been a pilot for a bit. I got Benny to spill about her to me a bit. Supposedly she was going to fly AT-6s before coming here, so I guess we can consider ourselves lucky." Someone coughed.

"We'd be lucky if Birdie was still here." Carrie murmured quietly and a collective silence came over the group.

"Alright, what's with the sour faces?" Bessie, beloved navigator of Silver Bullets, said coming with a fresh drink - beer in the bottle - and Vivian and Judy in tow, the three new sets of eyes wandering about the current display of grief that seemed to wash in like waves.

"Don't tell me," Vivian said, arm linked through Judy's, eyes narrowed, "Major Egan made another one of his bad jokes and Pauli ain't having it."

"It ain't that, Viv, but feels close enough to be just like it," Paulina mumbled from her seat and shrugged, before leaning her head on her hand, "meet the new pilot?" The group glanced towards the trio and found somewhat blank looks on all their faces as well.

"Saw her." Judy offered, a bit more enthusiastically than the others, "She's a pretty thing. Didn't say anything though. It was from afar; I was trying to keep Dougie company, poor guy got turned down. I offered him an emotionally-filled pat on the shoulder."

"You really are the sweetest out of us all," Margie said with a smile towards Judy - who grinned like she always did - one that still looked youthful and full of a life now past.

"Was he trying for Helen again?" Carrie asked, her voice a bit more stiff than it had been previously and Bessie shrugged.

"A pretty poor attempt, I'll give him that," Bessie offered, in that comforting voice of hers that never seemed to let anyone down even in the worst of times.

"That or he's going on about the damn cat." Paulina groaned, receiving a shove from Marianne, "Sorry, sorry-" she glanced down at Frank, "sorry Frank, we love ya, I promise."

"So," Bessie started, glancing around the group, "anyone else willing to make the first move or should I bite the bullet. Again, might I add."

"I'll come with you," Judy offered, "she seems real sweet, I tell ya." Bessie smiled and glanced towards the group. Silence.

"Listen, listen, I'll come," Kennedy offered, "nothing a little New England charm can't do."

"New England charm?" Paulina crooned.

"Very experimentalist of you." Carrie said with a smirk and Kennedy rolled her eyes.

"I don't see anyone else jumping to their feet," Kennedy said, placing her hands on her hips with a raised brow, "imagine that was you! Comin' in here and your first introduction is Major Egan - Jesus Christ he probably scared her off-"

"I don't have to imagine," Paulina said with a sour look on her face, "if Birdie were here, we wouldn't be having to start this all over again."

"Yeah, well, Birdie ain't here, Pauli." Kennedy said. It was tough love. A tough realization that was a hard pill to swallow and something no one wanted to have to face.

None of them had really been flying since - Francis had done a practice run with Benny, but had come puking out of the plane and that had been that. Sometimes on walks around base, there was a presence about Silver Bullets that was almost sickening. It was like trying to face a fear none of them wanted to actually have to face. Getting in Silver Bullets without Birdie there. Because how much could you trust the next person to look out for the group and do much, if not the same or more?

"Well, what a surprise," Francis Montez said, swaggering over, a tired look on her face, an even more exasperated smile growing on her lips, "go on, what's happened now. Who are we bettin' on now?"

"No one, Lieutenant, except maybe the new pilot," Judy offered with a shake of her head, "you meet her yet?" Francis' face fell flat and she glanced around the group and shrugged.

"Ran into her, was on the move, didn't have much to say yet," Francis said, her words awkward and spaced uncomfortably. A few of the women exchanged side-eye glances or random coughs or sniffs.

Everyone knew Francis was struggling the most with it all - losing Birdie like they did. Just like that. Having her stuff back at the base, having to send it home to her folks, having to write out the letters and mail it out. Having to even think or say anything regarding it all. No one wanted to express any emotion towards a new pilot, or try to replace Birdie in anyway - it's why this whole new pilot shindig hurt just a little more than they all thought. They knew Birdie would never be replaced, but sometimes it felt like it was replacing her. Francis had been the one to see it and live it. She felt it the most it seemed - and showed it.

"You doing okay, Lieutenant?" Marianne asked quietly, a few worried glances going towards Silver Bullets' copilot - the drawn in expression on her face that fought with whatever inner emotions she was feeling more and more, the dark circles under her eyes, her gaunt cheeks. Francis Montez seemed to take on the weight of the world and let it stay on her shoulders for as long as she could handle; she hadn't fallen down yet.

"Fine," Francis said and then settled onto the open chair beside Carrie, "so, who's gonna make the first move? Or well, let me rephrase, who should be the one to make the first move?"

"I vote Margie." Paulina said, with a raised hand as she sipped her beer, "Margie or Vivian, someone who walks around like it's always sunny outside or something, ya know?"

"Flattering, Pauli, truly," Margie said, and Vivian offered a graceful smile with a nod.

"I appreciate the sentiment, Pauli, you really do butter me up," Vivian said, "but I think this is a Margie Harlowe situation at its finest." Margie grinned and crossed her arms and glanced around.

"You guys shouldn't have."

"Take the compliment, Margie," murmured Carrie. Margie smirked.

"She here?" Margie asked out loud.

"Supposedly Brady invited her."

"She blonde?"

"Blonde, more dirty-blonde, but nice dirty-blonde, shorter-side."

"That her?"

Everyone followed Carrie's finger and line of sight and found the new pilot, Lieutenant Annie Bradshaw, moving towards the bar, leaning up against it smoothly and ordering a drink and then looking around, her movements fluid, calculated and purposeful, her presence not entirely overwhelming and the look on her face a mix - calm, cool, collected about herself. Someone you probably didn't want to mess with unless you had it coming.

"Yep, that's her," Judy said, "Margie you should go for it." Margie turned to the group, took a gracious bow, cracked her knuckles like some professional sports star and then turned away.

"Watch and learn, ladies," Margie said and then plowed forward.

"There she goes," Kennedy said with a chuckle, "our Margie, whodda thought huh?"

"Whodda thought what?"

"Volunteering herself like that," Kennedy offered, "going into the line of fire. She's better than me."

"What the hell do you mean by that?" Francis said, "Whatcha trying to say?" Kennedy glanced over her shoulder just as Margie stuck out her hand to shake and then glanced back at the group of women and Frank, who now was cuddled in Judy's arms.

"Harding's been trying to get a pilot in for days after Atchinson was booted. Supposedly, he didn't let anyone even meet us until he was sure, especially after what happened before." Kennedy said, "Egan let me in on it, Mr. Chatterbox. Anyway, it seems legit. The entire thing. And she made it through all their levels of inspection, interviews, questioning, all of it. She's good." The group seemed to gravitate to looking towards Francis, attempting to judge her facial expressions before coming to a consensus.

"Francis?" Bessie offered. Francis was quiet for a moment, then leaned forward and took the beer bottle in her hand.

"I won't say anything until she's up there flying Silver Bullets."

[girl-of-many-fandoms]

Sherlock being Sherlock

Pairing: Sherlock Holmes x Reader

Summary: Sherlock undermines Y/N’s intelligence while helping out on a case.

Warnings: none

First attempt at writing for Sherlock hope you guys enjoy! 😊

MASTERLIST

---

"Shut up would you darling. You're about as sharp as a sack full of soup when it comes to these things-"

"Sherlock-"

"And sadly I don't have the time nor patience to draw a picture using crayons to explain it to you. So make yourself useful by leaving!" Sherlock knocked all the scattered books and papers that littered his desk in frustration, they weren't making any progress in the case they were working and they had hoped that the teacher could be of use but she also hit a block.

"Sherlock! Y/N you don't have to go, he didn’t mean that." John wanted to smack his friend upside his head for speaking to the one woman that meant something to him like she's some piece of garbage.

"He does." Turning on her heels, she grabbed her bag and headed out the door and down the steps, John briefly glared at Sherlock as he chased after her.

"Y/N wait!" She looked over at him as she slipped on her coat to leave. John paused on the second step trying to come up with the right things to say to get her to not walk out the door and quite potentially Sherlock's life.

"He's an ass and says things that shouldn't be said-"

"Like implying that my IQ level is in the bloody trenches, yeah I gathered that."

"He's just Sherlock being Sherlock."

"No, that's Sherlock being an outright twit that doesn't have a filter." Before he could squeeze another word out, Y/N stormed out the door slamming it shut behind her.

"You're wasting time John, she’s of no use to us with our case. We have so much to-" John turned to look at the curly haired man that stood on the landing.

"What the hell was that?! You didn’t have to call her an idiot like that for goodness sake Sherlock, she's an incredible woman. A woman that loves and cares for you, might I add and you're self destruction is surely going to push her away."

"Oh so what?" John rolled his eyes as he stomped his way back up the stairs to their shared flat.

"You are going to apologise and fix this with her because everyone knows that there isn’t going to be another woman to put up with you and your brash behaviour. I don't even know how she's put up with you for nine months." Sherlock hung his head low, his words finally catching up to him. He knows that he did have to rectify his mistake of yelling at her and making her out to be an idiot when in fact, she's remarkably intelligent.

"I'm serious Sherlock, as soon as we wrap this up you are going to fix this."

"No, nope I need to go after her right now."

"No, if you go after her that's only going to end badly for your face."

---

The rain was pouring down on all of London at eight forty-five at night and Sherlock's pace quickened in the direction of Y/N's home. He shook off the heavy water off of his coat as he took shelter beneath the awning over her front door.

Y/N placed her bookmark in the current novel she was reading and set it off to the side. The doorbell rung again and this time she willed herself from under her blanket and off the couch to go answer the door. It's raining cats and dogs outside so whoever was at her door had to have a good reason to be.

"Hello- oh, it's you."

"Hello, may I?" As much as she would rather not let him into her home it was cold and wet outside and by the looks of it, he had walked here in the pouring rain; and she didn't want him to catch a cold. She headed back up the stairs to her flat leaving Sherlock to let himself in and remove his coat as well as his shoes.

"Why are you here, Holmes? My level of intelligence is miniscule compared to yours and I'm sure you'd rather be in the company of someone that shares your level of competence." Sherlock watched quietly as she fastened her robe to her body to cover up herself. Y/N was still angry at him for earlier and he knew that. He stood in the middle of her living space, dripping water onto her hardwood flooring.

"You know where your clothes are go change, your creating a puddle." Y/N put the kettle on to make tea for the both of them, not like he deserved anything other than a proper slap across the face. While he was changing he tried to formulate the right way to handle this without shoving his foot in his mouth.

"Could we sit down dear?"

"Nope, I'm good right where I am in the kitchen, you could stay all the way over there."

"Don't want me close to you?"

"Unless you want to be bashed in the head with this kettle I think it's best if you stay far away from me." Sherlock brushed off her bluff, closing the distance between them with his long strides. Crossing her arms over her chest, she stared into the pair of blue eyes she's grown to love as he stood mere centimeters away from her.

"I'm sorry."

"For what exactly?"

"For losing my temper, yelling and for saying something I didn't mean. I didn't mean it when I called you useless or made a comment on your intellect, it was the spur of the moment. I was frustrated and I took it out on you when you were only trying to help." Sherlock brushed his knuckles against her cheek and she instinctively leaned into his touch bringing a smile to his face.

"I get that you were frustrated but that isn't a valid excuse Sherlock. You called me darling and a useless idiot in the same breath."

"I know darling and I promise it'll never happen again. Allow me to make it up to you." The towering man kissed the crown of her head, cheek and bridge of her nose making her heart flutter at his affection.

"You've got your work cut out for you Mr. Holmes because I'm not going to make it easy for you and your astonishing brilliance."

"I do love a challenge."

"I know." Sherlock finally pressed his lips against hers in a gentle kiss which was cut short by her kneeling him in the groin. He grunted in pain and stumbled back, holding his crotch in pain. Y/N smiled watching as he doubled over still groaning in agony.

"I deserved that."

---

Honestly don't know if I'll keep writing for Sherlock but we'll see.

Honorary tags:

@sketch-and-write-lover @blackcat420

[allycat75]

Since you agreed to this, Boston Dumb Fuck, and feel the need to bring down your entire family (I don't want to hear "they made me do it" horseshit), all the while we are forced to watch...

I figured until that little black hearted Succubus is out of our lives for good, I will remind you (or your handlers, or your handlers' interns, or Lisa, or Elijah Eros, or whomever is lurking on your behalf) what an obtuse clown you have become.

All I wanted to do yesterday was watch some of the Oscar coverage and behind the scenes stories, but what did I see when I settled in after a hard days work (see, BDF, in the real world, people actual earn money by doing things that are productive and contribute to society and don't require you and your family to sign over your likeness rights, integrity and deep seated generational values, but I know you can't relate, you soulless sack of programmable plasma)? What I saw was obsequious coverage of you and your half Teutonic twit making your loving red carpet debut, showing off your chivalry by offering her a solo moment and her not wanting to leave your side. 🤢🤮!!!! It couldn't have anything to do with the fact no one would know who she was if not at your side (hell, even at your side, some of the general public just thought you were a little too comfortable with your niece). No one asked why you were there with nothing to promote except a skin-of-your-teeth loss at the Razzies the night before. You are like a Make-a-Wish charity case, but unfortunately there is no cure for your form of obliviousness and lack of coping skills.

It did make me think, once inside, how did that little prize schmooze with the Hollywood gentry? What could such a shy princess discuss to get the next big role and put her on the map? Afterall, isn't that what this obligation was meant to accomplish? So this talentless, entitled tantrum-waiting-to-happen can skip the line ahead of more deserving actresses?

I have some thoughts of how that may have gone:

Showed off her encyclopedic knowledge of Liberia

Discussed how to get the perfect eyebrow shape, from tip, peak, arch and tail

After asking about her hubby's bold fashion choice for the night she responded, "Oh, it was tribute to my mother and her homeland. The real homeland. Since his mother adores me, and always has, he wanted to do something that showed his loyalty and allegiance to my bloodline"

During lulls in the conversation, stood with her mouth half open as she discovered others found it intriguing

Talked about her humanitarian work in 2019, spending a week in Cambodia

Kept telling particularly powerful party goers, "You know, you are one of the good ones. So clean and well kempt. You can hardly tell".

Touched upon the levels demon possession and how it is more nuanced than you think

Is that about how it went? Or were you so high and entrenched in your cyclical sadness to even notice?

[auriel187]

The More Things Change. (S1 E6)

Word Count: 4233

Series Masterlist

A/N: If anyone doesn't like the fact that the oc is black, go away.

I was sketching on a blank sheet of paper, not paying much attention to the world around me as I filled the paper with seashells. Shawn and I have been swapping our papers every few minutes so I was making an effort to add mathematical and scientific information into my drawings. He just looks at me weird before he uses my notes to solve the equations. Then he adds to the drawing.

"I have graded your book reports from last Friday and after I pass them out, we'll discuss them." Our teacher said before he saw Cory looking at Shawn with a clown nose on his face. I started adding Clown Cory to my paper. "Ah, Mr. Matthews. Shall I express my usual disappointment or just ask you to guide my sleigh tonight?" Mr. Feeny looked over at the three of us with disappointment in his eyes. I shrank in my seat.

"Uh, wrong holiday, Mr. Feeny. See, Halloween's coming up and I was just test driving my clown nose." Cory explained, taking off the large red nose.

"Then I insist you stay in the driver's seat. Put the nose back on... for the rest of the morning." Was I mean? I laughed at that? "Mr. Minkus, excellent work as usual. I particularly enjoyed your haiku on Captain Ahab's obsession with the great white whale." Mr. Feeny said as he handed the small boy his book report.

"The calm blue ocean. Sun lights up the monster's eye. He sees me... whale food." He recited dramatically.

"It works on so many levels." Feeny praised him and I rolled my eyes. Give him a bigger head.

"Brown-noser." Shawn muttered.

"Troglodyte." Minkus replied. That made me mad.

"Sanctimonious twit." Minkus looked over at me with a glare, which I readily returned.

"Mr. Lewis, very good work. Mr. Matthews, not one of your better efforts. Mr. Hunter, there you are. Ms. Archer, bravo." Mr. Feeny handed our book reports back.

"Hey, this isn't fair. Rick and I both got Cs. How come you tell him he did good work and you tell me it wasn't one of my better efforts?" Cory bellowed. I swapped my paper with Shawn again.

"Would Bozo please come to the center ring? Mr. Lewis worked very hard to get his C... and I respect him for that. You, on the other hand, waste your efforts... on being the class clown." I mean, he had a point.

"How come you always pick on me, Mr. Feeny? How come you never pick on Minkus? Or Raven?" I looked up at Cory. He looked back at me and quickly turned back to our teacher.

"Have you taken a blow to the head, Mr. Matthews? Stuart Minkus gets nothing but As. If there was a letter before "A," he would get that. Ms. Archer has had perfect grades since she transferred here and she barely says three words in class." Mr. Feeny exclaimed.

"I guess that's why they get away with so much." Cory slumped away.

"And just what do they get away with?" Mr. Feeny asked.

"How come when she draws in class and goofs around with Shawn, she's allowed to but when I do it I get in trouble?" He pointed to his clown nose. Mr. Feeny did the come hither motion.

"Ms. Archer has an anxiety disorder . Extremely severe anxiety disorder by the looks of it. She also needs multiple forms of intellectual stimuli. I can condone her drawing and her 'goofing around' with Mr. Hunter because I noticed that she can get him to focus on school for more than ten seconds." Shawn looked over at me and smiled.

"Well, how come when I make paper airplanes, I get detention, and he doesn't?" I looked over at Minkus who was making a realistic paper plane. "I withdraw the question."

+=+=+=+=+

I sat in front of our classroom with my chemistry book (technically Jazmyne's old book) open on my lap as the seconds ticked by on the clock just above me. I jumped when I felt something poke my back. "Hello, my little ray of Sunshine." Shawn pulled me up and rested his head on my shoulder.

"Hi Puppy. How was detention?"

"Boring. Thanks for this though." He held up my periodic table, which he coloured in with my coloured pencils.

"No problem." I replied as he hugged me and continued to read over my shoulder.

"You guys are gross." Cory said exiting the class. He looked between Shawn and I. "You guys waited for me?"

"Am I not your best friend?" Shawn said coolly. I rolled my eyes.

"You had detention, too, didn't you?" Cory smiled, knowingly.

"Oh, yeah. Mrs. Engles nailed him. How'd you get detention in art?" I asked, picking up my stuff off the floor.

Shawn lifted me off the ground, spinning me. "Well, that's what makes me one of the greats." Cory looked so sick with us.

"It's what makes you a dingus!" I poked him as he put me down.

"You two make me sick." Cory groaned in disgust. I don't know what his problem is, Shawn and I are just being friendly. It's not like we just started acting like this. This has been us since we became best friends. Shawn rolled his eyes and tossed his drink in the trash. Then he peered into it like a weirdo.

"Hey. Check this out, answers to a test." He spoke excitedly.

"We can't be looking at test answers. That's major cheating, detention for life." Cory stared in shock.

"Shawn, first of all, Eww. Second of all, put that down!" I smacked his arm repeatedly. He just kept reading the sheet. "Puppy, this will be the end of your educational life! That means no school, no field trips, no sports!"

"I can just do that at home, my field trips will be better because I can bring my bed and my TV." He bumped me with his hip.

"Do you think Jefferson or Brianna will let me speak to you if you do this?" I countered and his demeanour cracked. Good.

"The control you have over him confuses me so much." Cory whispered to me.

"These aren't for a real test. They're for that stupid lQ exam we're taking tomorrow." I let out a sigh of relief when he started to crumple it to throw it away.

"Wait a minute. Let me take a look at this. Wow. The person who knows these answers gets a perfect score." I shook my head and tried to grab it from him.

"On a test that doesn't even count for a grade. Why bother?" Shawn asked. Good!

"Are you kidding? This is my one ticket to get Feeny off my back. If Feeny thinks I'm a genius... he'll treat me just as good as he treats Minkus." I shook my head at him. I was about to say something when Shawn beat me to it.

"Hey, Cory, do yourself a favor. Crumple the paper up, throw it away in the trash. Don't complicate your life." I have no idea what got into him but I was so proud.

"I could kiss you right now!" I turned to the blue eyed boy, who had this look on his face as blush crept over his entire face. He giggled awkwardly but I turned my attention back to Cory when he began to smooth out the paper.

"You know, that makes a lot of sense... and if I was a smarter person, I'd probably listen to you... except I'm not a smarter person... But tomorrow, I'm going to be a genius." Cory smirked, I smacked upside the head. This is gonna backfire on him. You don't need to be a genius to know that.

+=+=+=+=+

It was Thursday. We still hadn't heard anything about the tests yet but I know that the reason it was taking so long was all because of Cory. "I have in my hands the results of Tuesday's lQ test... and one person here deserves special mention. This person achieved not only the highest score in the class, not only the highest score in the school but a score so high as to give rise to the question... "ls there, in fact, a ceiling on human intelligence?"" I looked at our teacher in shock. He can't possibly believe that!

"Please, Mr. Feeny, you're embarrassing me." Minkus let out, confidently. The only plus about all this is that his ego gets to be knocked down a peg.

"Mr. Minkus, you technically came in third." Mr. Feeny deadpanned and the class fell silent.

"Third?" Minkus sounded dumbfounded. Serves him right.

"Uh-huh. Well, in all honesty you got tied with the second person in terms of your responses."

"As in the context of not first? Someone scored higher than I did on the lQ test?"

"That is typically how being third works." I mumbled more to myself than to anyone else.

"Oh, one blew you out of the academic water. The other demonstrated an extensive knowledge of complex mathematical inquiries as well as artistic prowess. And both of them are sitting in this room...Someone in this very classroom is a junior Kierkegaard." Mr. Feeny was preaching.

"A what?" Cory asked. I smacked my hand on my forehead.

"A great mind, Cor." I whispered boredly.

"She's correct, Mr. Matthews... just like yours. I have clearly underrated you, and I bow to your genius. Come on. Bravo." Mr. Feeny applauded and I thought he was actually buying all of this.

"It's no big thing, Mr. Feeny."

"On the contrary, Mr. Matthews, it is a big thing. It is a very big thing."

"Uh-oh." I heard Cory mumble as Shawn raised his hand.

"Mr. Hunter?" Mr. Feeny looked about as confused as the rest of us did.

"Who got the other high score?" He asked, side eyeing me slightly. But Mr. Feeny didn't say anything.

+=+=+=+=+

I walked up the walkway behind Cory and Shawn. I smiled when I saw Amy, Eric and Morgan leaving the house. "Oh, hi." Amy said as the boys sprinted upstairs.

"Can't talk, mom, lots of homework. Got to go." Cory said halfway to his room.

"Yeah. What he said." Shawn yelled in agreement. I stopped to greet the three of them properly.

"Something terrible?" Amy asked as I hugged her.

"Oh, yeah. Absolutely." I replied, lifting up Morgan.

Eric grabbed me and lifted me up when I let go of Morgan. "You gonna set them straight, Pigeon?" I nodded, saluting them before I whipped off my shoes and sprinted up the stairs to see Cory in the middle of a major freak out.

"Feeny knows. Somehow he knows, and he's going to get me." He paced while I took a seat next to Shawn on one of the beds.

"You're wrong." Shawn tried, and failed, to defuse the spiraling curly haired boy.

"You think he's just sending a thank you note to my parents? "Thank you for bringing up your son. He's a genius. He's smarter than Captain Kirkaguard.""

"It's Kierkegaard, Dingus." I mumbled laying on the bed. "Besides, Mr. Feeny gave me one for Jefferson and Brianna too. Stop being dramatic." As I said that, Shawn just grabbed the letter and ripped the envelope open.

"What are you doing? That's a sealed envelope addressed to my parents. Now they're going to know I opened it." Cory exclaimed, making me sit up to stare at him.

"Cory, do your parents ever write letters to anyone?" I asked, he couldn't possibly be this dense.

"Yeah." He affirmed.

"And when they do, what do they put the letters in?" Shawn continued my thought.

"Envelopes. Just like this one." Cory caught on.

"So we could read the note." Shawn started leaving room for Cory to jump in.

"And seal it back up in a new white envelope. Ha! I love how we think. What's it say?" Cory finished excitedly.

"Uh-oh. He's bringing in the S.E.A." Shawn read, but I knew he was lying just to mess with Cory.

"What?" Cory looked baffled.

"The State Education Authority." Shawn answered. He's a good actor. Mischievous and sneaky but good.

"They have special field agents who handle intelligence fraud." I joined in. I buried my face in the crook of Shawn's neck. I knew if I looked at Cory, I'd bust a gut.

"I'm cooked! I'm cooked, Shawn! For the first time in my life, I'm in real trouble. Raven, you're smart! Help me out here! I'm cooked!" Cory started pacing frantically.

"Not if we're making all this up." Shawn said tauntingly.

"Are you?" Cory asked hopefully.

"No." Shawn snatched all hope away from him.

"I'm cooked!" Cory screamed.

"Relax, of course I'm making it up. He just wants to talk to your parents." Shawn said while I was clutching my side, nearly rolling off the bed in a fit of laughter.

"What if he tells them he doesn't think I'm a genius?" Cory whined.

"Who cares if Feeny doesn't think you're brilliant? As long as the test says so." Shawn waved it off. I rolled my eyes, about to tell them that was wrong but when did that ever stop them?

"But I'm not, and my parents know I'm not." Cory sighed heavily.

"Then you'll have to make them think you are." Shawn said, smirking back at Cory.

"How do I do that?" Cory asked, watching as Shawn turned to me, then back to him.

"Get with the program, Cory. It's Halloween, and this year you're going as a genius. Now," Shawn turned to me and smiled brightly. "Sunshine, what do you have in your magic bag that can help Cory?" He asked all wide eyed.

"Absolutely nothing because this is going to blow up in his face." I pointed at Cory.

"Come on, Ray. You know nobody's smarter than you." Shawn moved closer to me and Cory leaned away, starting to get grossed out.

"A lot of people are smarter than me and all of them say this is a bad idea." I countered.

"Please." Shawn moved even closer and Cory stared wide eyed. "Help us, Rae Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope." Shawn put his forehead on mine and I felt myself smiling like an idiot.

"I..." I started, ready to flat out deny them both but they both sat in front of me giving me puppy stares. "....I have a Beethoven CD in my bag." They both looked at me like I was a weirdo. "I can let you boys deal with this on your own."

"You wouldn't do that, you love us too much." Cory exclaimed, pulling me in for a hug before he fell onto the bed.

+=+=+=+=+

"I'm home." I said as I removed my shoes and ran into the living room, where Jefferson and Adam were sitting on the couch as Rochelle, Brianna, Jazmyne, Tamara and Mariah sat on the floor doing one another's hair. I hung up my coat, noticing some boxes from the attic were seated by the stairs.

"It's little Vinny! Hi, kid." Adam seemed happy as Jefferson got up so I could sit. He took a seat on his lazy boy. I waved at all of them. That's when Jefferson noticed the envelope in my hand.

"Uh oh, Rae Rae got a letter for us." Jefferson said teasingly as he read it. "Well, well, well...Rae -over here- 's teacher has some concerns. I stared wide eyed. I never got in trouble with Mr. Feeny before.

Brianna looked about as panicked as I felt. "Pardon me?" She asked in a way that wasn't really asking.

"Well apparently, A Mr. George Feeny is concerned with her class work due to a test they did on Tuesday." Jefferson explained. I could feel my stomach begging to get tight until I remembered that we didn't do any real tests on Tuesday. Just the IQ test.

I let out a sigh of relief.

"What? Does she need help? I can tutor her if she'd like?" Tamara offered, looking worried. Jazmyne didn't. I assume it's because her father liked to mess with people similar to what Shawn did to Cory earlier.

"According to Mr. Feeny: Raven-Anniya Amberhide is an incredible and highly gifted student. Though she struggles with severe anxiety, she still manages to be at the top of her class with ease and without much hesitation. My only worry is that this class may be too simple for a student of her intellect.

Typically, an IQ such as her could be cause for an advanced student placement, however given that she does suffer from anxiety and seems the most secure and comfortable when immersed in conversations with Cory A. Matthews and Shawn P. Hunter, I've advised the school to not separate them.

You should be very proud." Jefferson recited clearly.

"So...What'd she get?" Jazmyne asked. I could see her buzzing with excitement and it must've been contagious.

"187! She has an IQ of 187!" Brianna boasted once she read the letter herself. She was so happy she practically suffocated me.

+=+=+=+=+

I wasn't surprised when Cory was complaining about this whole situation. He had a good heart. He can't lie to people he cares about.

"Shawn, this whole thing is getting out of hand." He looked so sad. I simply rested my head on Cory's shoulder.

"Relax. Everybody thinks you're brilliant. You should enjoy it." Shawn said nonchalantly. He peered down at my sketchbook whilst I was drawing.

"When it was just Feeny, I could enjoy it. But now my parents are involved, and I don't like lying to them." Cory mumbled.

"You don't?" Shawn looked up in confusion. Cory simply shook his head. "'Cause it gives me a little rush. Besides, you didn't tell them you were a genius, Feeny did." I looked up at them like they were crazy.

"And I didn't tell Feeny I'm a genius." Cory smiled and I knew my boys were gonna start ping ponging off each other.

"The test did. And you didn't ask to take the test." Shawn said.

"They gave it to me. And you wouldn't have even seen the answers..." Cory went, get lost on his train of thought.

"If they didn't give us..." Shawn caught on instantly.

"Detention." They said together.

"We're innocent victims." Shawn smiled proudly.

"Nothing we do is actually our fault." Cory sounded like he was having an epiphany.

"It's good to be kids." Shawn held his hand out and Cory gave him a very loud high five. I smiled at them. They're such lovable nimrods.

"I don't get it." Minkus spoke, petulantly.

"What?" Shawn didn't have any form of patience in his tone.

"If you're smarter than I am... how come you're always trying to copy from my paper?" Minkus asked, which caused Cory to stammer.

"He's not copying, Minkus. He's just glancing over to admire... the work of a fellow genius." I jumped in, internally berating myself for getting further involved in this.

"You are?" Minkus asked Cory.

"He is." Shawn nodded in agreement.

"I am." Cory smiled stiffly.

"Oh, well, that's oK. In fact, from now on I'll kind of tip my test papers up so you can admire the answers even easier." Minkus said with a plastered smile on his face.

"Would you do that?" Cory asked, causing me to shake my head.

"No." The blond says and walks away.

"Genius envy." Shawn reasoned before looking over at me. "Where'd you come up with that lie?" He asked before the bell rang and Mr. Feeny walked in with a tall Asian woman.

"Class, this is Miss Chin. She'll be with you for the first half hour... while I have a word with Mr. Matthews." Mr. Feeny said. The class 'ohh ed' as Cory walked out of the room.

"Tell my mom I went out like a man." The curly haired boy said as Miss Chin told the class to take out our workbooks and complete lessons 8 through 12. I had already finished the chapter so I turned to Shawn.

"Five minutes before I hand in my tests, I look to see where everyone else is." I admitted and went into my sketchbook, doodling until Mr. Feeny came back. Cory walked into the class and slumped into his seat. I could see the little pout he had on his face and decided to move my seat and help him with his work. I chuckled when he passed a note to the blue eyed boy and turned back to his work. When he was finished I turned to help Shawn.

+=+=+=+=+

"OK, we're here. What's the big emergency?" Shawn asked when we entered the room. We didn't expect Cory to start shooting us. Shawn pushed me behind the desk before he almost went through the window. "Hey! What are you trying to do, kill us?" Shawn exclaimed, pushing me behind him in case Cory tried to shoot us again.

"Kill you? I'll tell you about killed? How about what you did to me?" Cory whined.

"What'd we do?" I asked. This better not be about the stupid IQ test.

"Where are you spending your next recess? Playground? Shooting hoops? Playing ball? Drooling over Raven-Anniya?" Well, that last one was a little out of left field but alright.

"So?" Shawn completely ignored the last one.

"So let me tell you what I'm doing. I'm searching for Bobby Fischer!" Cory screamed.

"That's such a good movie." I muttered. I saw the two of them look at me like I was nuts. "...I like Joe Mantenga and Lawrence Fishburn." I shrank back behind Shawn.

"What are you talking about?"

"Geniuses go to a special school. Did you know that? You killed me. I'm going to be in a class full of Minkuses. Wait a minute. What am I talking about? These kids make Minkus look like Fabio."

"Wait a minute. They're putting you in another school?" Shawn looked back at me. He looked at me like I was leaving too.

"Yes. The lady is going to be here in a half an hour and they're going to give me another genius test and then they're going to take me away. So I just called you up to say good-bye. Or as geniuses say, good-bye in Latin."

"You do realize that this is your fault, right? Shawn and I told you to put the answer sheet back in the garbage and your exact words were 'You know, that makes a lot of sense... and if I was a smarter person, I'd probably listen to you... except I'm not a smarter person... But tomorrow, I'm going to be a genius' remember? So please tell me how we killed you?" I said.

"You're the smart one! Why didn't you tell me that geniuses get sent to genius school?" Cory bellowed, pointing an accusing finger at me. I smacked it.

"Because they don't. Mr. Feeny probably suggested it to catch you in your lie." I shrugged.

"Well, they're coming to send me to the fancy school so I guess his plan failed!" Cory whined.

"Hey, idiot." Shawn spoke.

"What?" Cory mumbled.

"Are you a genius?" The blue eyed boy asked.

"No." The brown eyed boy answered.

"Do you have the answers to this test?" The brown haired boy asked.

"No." The curly haired boy responded.

"You kind of see where he's going with this?" I say, leaning towards Cory.

"You want me to throw the test?" Cory looked between the two of us.

"Oh, no, no. I want you to take the test to the best of your ability. And no guessing. I wouldn't want you to stumble onto a right answer." Shawn said as he pulled me towards the door.

"Vale, Cornelius!" I screamed as Shawn pulled me down the stairs. "Bye, Matthews!"

+=+=+=+=+

I linked up with Eli and Mariah just around the corner of Cory's street. Mariah was a princess and Elijah was a vampire. We were waiting for Cory and Shawn to get here. Which is weird because we were on Cory's street.

"Boo!" I heard someone scream behind me as I was lifted off the ground.

I smacked Shawn in the arm as Cory approached with a goblin mask. He looked over at my pseudo cousins. "Cor, this is Elijah and Mariah. Mariah is just hearing impaired, she can hear you." I say quickly as they all shake hands.

Jefferson was standing by a lamppost dressed as a mad scientist. "Looks like you guys are all here, so how about a nice Halloween picture before you go torture your teacher?" It was a unanimous yes. The flash was quick and blinding. Tonight was already getting chaotic.

We were about to walk up to Mr. Feeny's house when we noticed him running to Cory's. "This is gonna be good." Mariah whispered. I took her hand.

Cory rang the doorbell and the boys pulled down their masks. I hoped my make was enough of a disguise. "Trick or treat!" We all said and much to our joy, Mr. Feeny answered the door.

"The candy's on its way." He replied, not recognizing anyone.

"Hey, aren't you that Feeny guy from school?" Shawn said looking up at our teacher. That was Elijah's signal.

"I'm Mr. Feeny, yes."

Eli took a step forward. "My brother's friend Cory Matthews said I'm going to have you as a teacher next year. He said you're the best teacher in the whole school." He crushed it!

"Oh, please, Mr. Matthews. I wasn't born yesterda..." he lifted up the mask to reveal that it was in fact not Cory. "I'm terribly sorry. Happy Halloween. Here, have a ruler. Have all the rulers." I suppressed my laughter as he dumped all his 'treats' into Eli's bag.

When Amy called Mr. Feeny from the kitchen, he smiled awkwardly at us and ran away. "And they say I'm not a genius!" Cory laughed proudly after removing his mask.

"So, Frankenstein? Where's the big candy bar house on this street?" Mariah asked, looking up at Shawn.

He pushed me forward. "Our Dragon Queen usually leads." And with that we s made our way from house to house getting so much candy we'd be sick for a week!

I love Halloween!

[90363462]

Elon Musk Suspends Kanye West's Twitter After INSANELY Antisemitic Alex Jones Interview & String Of Violent Tweets

Kanye West has been suspended from Twitter after a shocking day of jaw-dropping comments both on the social media app and in an interview with Alex Jones.

The 45-year-old rapper focused some of his Twitter attentions on its owner, Elon Musk, prior to his account being suspended late on Thursday. And Ye also used the platform to share a disgustingly inappropriate reference to Nazism and its former leader, Adolf Hitler. Get ready, y’all. This is a lot…

Related: Kim Kardashian Is ‘Relieved’ To Be Done With Ye Divorce — Yeah, No Kidding…

During a few-hour period last night, Ye tweeted several erratic messages. One of them included a picture of Elon standing shirtless on a yacht. Ye joked that its message, which painted Musk in an unflattering light, might be his last on the site.

That’s not what drove the Jesus Walks rapper off the app, though. At one point, he also tweeted a photo of a bizarre symbol that combined a Nazi swastika and the Star of David in one. That image went too far — and Ye was removed from the site. While CNN and others report they have been unable to confirm which post exactly was the one that drove Kanye from the bird app, his account is suspended now.

Elon himself even weighed in about that situation. Early on Thursday, he attempted to show Ye some level of patience. Replying to an earlier tweet from the rapper, Elon wrote:

Jesus taught love, kindness and forgiveness.

I used to think that turning the other cheek was weak & foolish, but I was the fool for not appreciating its profound wisdom.

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) December 1, 2022

But hours later, it all ended.

On Thursday night, Musk re-addressed Ye’s later comments and image posts. Elon first replied “that is fine” in response to Ye’s tweet showing the “chief twit” shirtless on the yacht. But to the tweet containing swastika imagery overlaid on the Jewish religious symbol, Musk simply said “this is not.” Then, when another Twitter user begged Musk to “fix” Ye (?!), the Teslahead gave a deeper explanation:

“I tried my best. Despite that, he again violated our rule against incitement to violence. Account will be suspended.”

The Space X exec then reiterated his stance on Ye’s ouster in another subsequent response to a second user soon after:

“Just clarifying that his account is being suspended for incitement to violence, not an unflattering pic of me being hosed by Ari. Frankly, I found those pics to be helpful motivation to lose weight!”

Related: Kim K’s Famous Fam Hosts An Emergency Meeting Following Kanye Divorce Deal

Wow.

There’s a LOT of other s**t going on in the Ye universe right now, too.

For one, CNBC reported on Friday morning that Parler execs have called off the deal to sell their site to Ye. As Perezcious readers will remember, the right-wing social media app was set to be purchased by the Chicago-born rapper as Candace Owensworked to get Ye in on it following his first Twitter suspension back in October. But that deal is dead now.

Related: Kanye Hits Back Directly At His Former Hero Donald Trump

More critically, there is also still fallout flying from Ye’s otherdisastrous move: openly praising Hitler and Nazism in an interview with conspiracy theorist Alex Jones published on Thursday. The Gold Diggerrapper appeared in person and wore a mask covering his face and head. On set, Ye made a series of incredibly bizarre remarks. Some were so far out there that they appeared to make Jones uncomfortable, which is saying a lot…

At one point, Ye told the controversial host about how much he loves the Nazis’ World War II-era leader:

“Every human being has something of value that they brought to the table, especially Hitler. How about that one?”

Jones was thrown by the remark, and responded how he felt “most Jews are great people.” Alex also said he believed Kim Kardashian‘s ex-husband has “a bit of a Hitler fetish going on.” Ye replied:

“It’s not a fetish. I just like information.”

Unbelievably, Jones kept trying to calm the situation. (Think about that! The situation was so f**ked, it took Alex f**king Jones to try to walk things back?!?!) The conspiracy theorist told Ye:

“You’re not Hitler. You’re not a Nazi. You don’t deserve to be described as that.”

But the rapper doubled down:

“I see good things about Hitler, also.”

Later in the interview, undeterred over being cast out by Jones, Ye added that it was “time to promote love.” The Yeezy brand head’s suggestion for love looked like this:

“I don’t like the word ‘evil’ next to Nazis. I love Jewish people, but I also love Nazis. … I do love Hitler. I do love the Zionists.”

The f**k…?! That’s sick.

Over on Twitter, that s**t show combined with Ye’s suspension from the platform hours later sent users into overdrive. As to be expected, Ye’s name trended worldwide. And there were no shortage of takes and reactions to everything that went down on Thursday afternoon and evening.

Some shared unbelievable snippets of Ye’s disturbing commentary from Jones’ broadcast, like this clip (below) in which the rapper offers a bizarre wild aside on Israeli politician Benjamin “Bibi” Netanyahu:

kanye west has lost his fucking mind. pic.twitter.com/6JJvPVyL49

— Marisa Kabas (@MarisaKabas) December 1, 2022

Uhhh…

And other users offered up many more of their own opinions on Ye’s behavior:

“You know Kanye has reached a point of no return when he makes Alex Jones look normal.”

“kanye west has had the most severe fall from grace of anyone in history like you couldn’t even dream this up”

“This is Nazism. When are we going to say ENOUGH?”

“Stop blaming mental illness for Kanye West’s anti-Semitic and racist rants. I have mental illness and know a lot of people who do and not once has it caused anyone to cause bigotry. Kanye is just a f**king loser. Period.”

“Kanye West has been suspended from this app. He shouldn’t have been allowed back to begin with and he should never be allowed back again. Period.”

“F**k Kanye. F**k Nazis. F**k Alex Jones. F**k ’em all; especially Hitler.”

Wow. Just wow. Where the f**k does all this go from here? So vile.

[Image via WENN/Avalon]

Sent from my iPhone

[anthonybialy]

Generation Ex

Experience is the best indicator, which means Democrats ought to be in big trouble.  Professional business loathers should be nearly out of business themselves.  They think that would prove their point.

The present onslaught of incessant annoyance should create a generation of government-loathers.  Every generation ideally faces institutions with institutionalized contempt.  Arrogant twits bossing you around hating your attitude is the best reason to maintain it.

People born in every year eventually find themselves old enough to get hassled for not contributing enough to the collective for the sin of existing as an individual.  Those taxed in every sense are supposed to be thankful for the privilege, which is naturally exercised involuntarily.  You don’t want to risk screwing up a decision with your counterproductive free will.

An extra concentrated dose of harassment from the soullessly monolithic entity that can’t protect you from a rotten flu is not good for any sense of health.  Enjoy a full life in your pod where nothing’s legal but cannabis, which is unhelpful for treating symptoms except for shielding oneself from how bad legalizers made everything.

Attempting a sequel of the worst feature isn’t just for Avatar.  Unlike a cinema trip, you’re not presented with the option to decline.  Contemptuous scorn was a nice touch as compliant liberals mocked your rights being taken as they used absolute power to bungle an infection that would have been properly addressed by chicken soup, DayQuil, and Sprite.

Decree enthusiasts are coincidentally the same pompous dolts who sneer at attempts to outrageously assert that rights and currency are not issued by the government.  Office-fillers who don’t know the economy gets worse the more that’s ripped off from it are suddenly experts on epidemiology.

Attempting to stop a virus by imprisoning humans epitomizes compassionate knowledge.  Melding the mind with the heart is our ultimate goal, and we should possess enough enlightenment to know whether it actually happens doesn’t matter.  Do you want to be a good liberal or not?

A cagey infection found its way around barriers.  Panicky fascists were wrong at every single moment about an indifferent escaped bioweapon.  China’s ineptness is our best defense.  Guilt paired with phrenology-level pseudoscience led to the guilted suckering of getting a shot during the most masked time in history, which differs from getting vaccinated.

Aspiring benevolent dictators require absolute authority to ruin the economy.  It’s  really your fault if you’re poor for stubbornly refusing to relinquish the last of your petty individual rights.  That’s as close as liberals get to personal responsibility.

Trying to avoid tradeoffs leads to the worst deal possible.  Existence gets more woeful the more they can control, which almost resembles a pattern.  The state’s fans assure us perseverance is all bliss needs.  We just need to maintain faith until the breakthrough when treating property as communal lets everyone have as much as they want.

The past few especially pushy years have just been a drugged-out version of normal abnormal federal shadiness.  Active bothering leads to widespread lethargy, and this speedball leads to neither speed nor a ball.

Very helpful ushers of prosperity take autonomy on top of your cash.  You’re left with the sense of guilt for daring to want to retain funds that you toiled to acquire.  Refusing to facilitate corruption constitutes the most shameful audacity.

Present sophisticated theories about authority lead to  addresses everything but government’s actual responsibility, which is to halt stampeding barbarians.  Liberals are too busy tracking down successful CEOs they deem villains to focus on what they consider inconsequential threats like subway track-shovers and global terror merchants.

Everyone should be sick of being told what to do by people who should be told to not do that.  Forced cooperation leads to universal misery.  That is not the thing we were told would be shared.  Anyone capable of interpreting stimuli can’t possibly still think eliminating choice leads to one glorious option.

The only thing more exhausting than being suspicious of everything is the aftermath of docile trust.  Any humans who are unfortunately not cynical by nature better start conditioning themselves.

The good news is that there’s not much training necessary.  A few moments on this wretched planet noticing countless infringements on life proceeding normally should be sufficient for incessant rebellion. Instead, baffling state fans are incredulous regarding companies with which they can interact freely while trusting the unaccountable monolith.

Please enjoy ample current ghastly examples for those who think history means switching from the “following” tab to “for you”.  Maybe enjoy isn’t the proper word.  Claiming to believe in science takes some nerve while ignoring an endless parade of evidence about how surrendering liberty leads to awful morons making dreadful decisions on your behalf.

Trusting authority is the most mortifying conspiracy to believe.  Liberal policy creates contempt for liberalism.  So, it works in its way.  Government doing everything but arresting whoever mugged you leads to getting robbed by those who claim they do so with legal authority.  They need your permission.  Keep letting them think for yourself if you think they’ve made you richer.

[exploring8709]

Swiping through Tinder tonight, I started wondering if I'm REALLY ready to be out there. I guess this was the point of leaving The Ex (and The Twit for that matter). It's been a year and a bit since, though, and I don't have much to show for this newfound freedom.

It wasn't more commitment that I was looking for. The Ex and I had commitment down to a T. Planning a wedding (and a future) together will pretty much hit that nail on the head. I just felt like I was getting consumed by momentum. Everything felt like I was auto-pilot, ignoring my own yearning to break free and discover more of myself.

And now, commitment is the LAST thing that I'm looking for, as The Twit has proven. The same thing, just a different face, still leaves me triggered.

So I don't think I want to get married (yet), but am I really ready to explore something more . . . casual? The thought excites me as my "experience level" feels lacking for a girl my age. Thinking about my body count, I guess each experience can be thought of as progress, but the distance traveled does not feel rich enough, vivid enough. I've learned something from each of them, but like the related relationship, it was time to move on.

Josh

I lost my virginity to Josh. He was a pretty soccer player that said all of the right things to get me into his bed. He had obviously done this before. It was painful. It was awkward. I cried when it was happening because I was so scared I would do it wrong and he would dump me. It was in his room. I still remember focusing on the Tie Domi poster on his wall as he pushed himself into me. It was hot under his duvet and we were both sweaty. I thought we were in love until 2 weeks later we weren't. It was something I needed to get out of the way, but I was lost for a bit afterwards, feeling a bit used and ashamed.

The Ex

Sex with The Ex was exciting at the outset. We were seniors in high school. And I was in love, for real this time. I'm not going to deny it. We were in love. But High School me was a very different girl from today me. Him being more experienced than me, again made me feel special. Complete. And he was so different from Josh. More of a real person. More of a real relationship. It was like he was walking me through a beautiful garden for the first time, showing me all the things I ever needed to know. He showed me all the positions he knew, and I was wonderstruck. His was the first cock I sucked. The first one I jacked off. I was an eager learner . . . so wanting to please. So hungry to find ways to please him. It was a revelation. But we reached the limit of his knowledge as the years wore on. Our lovemaking, like our relationship, never evolved even as I did. What was once super exotic as a young adult, quickly became rote and obligatory. Like our relationship, sadly.

The Twit

Unfortunately, the story doesn't get any better from here. Although the prize is dubious, The Twit was the only other person I've slept with since high school. It feels so ridiculous typing this. The first after having passed through my lowest point after calling the wedding off. If you don't count Josh, as honestly, that one didn't count, The Twit's was only the second penis I've ever touched. Had in my mouth. Had INSIDE me. It was more of the same. I won't go low and make any size comparisons. He was fine, just the same, which was bad. I long to try something different. Bigger. Smaller. Girthier. Fuck, what does it mean, that as I'm trying to summarize my time with The Twit, I can only think of other cocks I haven't tried? The Twit was more handsy and grabby . . . more aggressive than The Ex, but pretty much of the same ilk. I don't think either of them met an orgasm of their own they didn't like.

That's it. I've slept with three boys in my life. I'm not bothered by this number. If I was stronger, it might have just ended at The Ex. But, if I'm not ready to be married, then what am I ready for? I've never been the chaotic spirit type, although I've always wondered what that would be like.

I'm sure there's more to discover out there, but am I ready to? I must be ovulating because I've been thinking about what it would be like to sleep with different men, but I don't have the energy or the emotional need to try and create something special with each and everyone one of them. I feel like I know what I want in a partner, but I don't yet know what I want in a PARTNER. A sexual partner. A lover. I've spent so much time with boys that I've, for lack of a better term, outgrown, that I've created a gap in my experience that I'm yearning to fill. I've been yearning for physicality.

I remember Amanda quoting this to me:

" I was not a good woman. I had too many other things to do. "

Too many other things to do.

Tinder, what treasures will you yield to me?

[celebgossip2]

Celebrity News

Nowadays, all mass media sources are rife with news about various celebrities. They can be bought in magazines, newspapers, upon television, and the Online world. This century is actually marked by diverse innovations in advertising and the cultivation with the culture of celebs. Several decades before, most children planned to become engineers, pilots, or doctors. Still these days their main concerns have drastically adjusted. Many children dream about becoming famous stars, singers, or showmen. Moreover, adults can be affected by the formulated celebrity industry. Your famous represent a straightforward lifestyle that appears to be very appealing those of you that have to work very difficult to earn money together with support their families. For that reason it changes people’s goals and strategies to achieve them. Additionally , many individuals ignore your personalities and try and imitate celebrities’ conduct. The main goals with this paper are to show that the famous assist as role types to many regular people, in a negative way affecting their behaviours and the whole traditions of modern organisations, and discuss why that led to this rapid rise for the celebrity industry. Celebrity News

Uncomfortable side effects of Celebrity Civilization

There are several reasons for a very significant development from celebrity culture. Initial, the expansion with mass media has created the news about highly successful people one of the most discussed information. Celebrities have been “reconstituted as the overexposed persons of contemporary life”. The same situation is occurring with other media channels sources. Such thing attracts much awareness and enhances content across different modules in society. A pace of the improvement of the celebrity business has never been thus fast. However , there is no signals that going barefoot has reached any kind of limits. Media organisations along with movie and additionally music industries are getting to be more powerful. The enhancement of the media piece of equipment makes the process to build a celebrity much easier. Different shows exploit your temptation of humankind to become famous. That entertainment industry results in celebrities by means of these kinds of shows. For example , a Idol TV routine demonstrates several contestants whose main goal should be to become more popular with their performances. Simple fact that a person is found on the screen and in a magazine will make them a part of that celebrity industry. This phenomenon of “YouTube” also deserves specific attention. This press source offers choices to become famous to be able to everybody. The farming of such a lifestyle has become a world-scale difficulty.

However , another source of the intense marketing of popular characters, singers, and athletes is the demands within the general public. Consumers not alone accept celebrities as an element of society but also be induced for them. People understand them as idols and admire their particular talents and successes. In addition , the general public is normally eager to know each of the personal details about this lives of their symbols. However , it is not effortless determine what information really should be hidden:

Celebrity is often a very public model of discourse about the sizing of what is open public and what is exclusive and, ultimately what exactly intimate. The level of advertising mileage - the capacity of the technologies to file and to transmit shots, texts, and tones - and via the internet culture that has cutting edge expectations of being exposed have helped build up our comfort by using public intimacy.

Potential customers buy journals in addition to magazines to read on the subject of people who they scarcely know. Also, a variety of blogs of celebrities on the Internet attract a persons vision of millions of people. Highly successful people post photos within their breakfast or household pets and twit several statements because they are aware that the public is very excited about this information. Celebrity praise syndrome has become a major problem worldwide. At present, there is a high demand with regard to psychologists who can enable people to overcome this particular mental condition. Your syndrome has quite a few levels of intensity. A number of people even commit suicides when they find out this their idols bought engaged or committed.

However , celebrities be required to pay for such a everyday life with their own personal privacy. There are many conflicts relating to famous figures along with media companies. Described do not want to write about private facts about their own lives, but reporters, journalists, and other paparazzi reveal their keys without permission. Although some public figures by choice use the media to brew a striking or stunning image, most of them opt for being portrayed like perfect as possible.

One can find other attributes to be famous that appeal to the general public. One of the most significant aspects is capital. The financial results of popular storage devices figures breeds are jealous of and admiration around regular people. Celebrities acquire enormous fees with regard to their movies or live shows. However , these are not really the only sources of revenue. Famous people often engage in promotional campaigns and also support a particular type. Advertisements are one other huge industry of which contributes to the farming of celebrity customs. Popular figures promote different types of products which can be used worldwide prefer sports clothing, THIS technology, alcoholic cocktails, and many others. Most people recognize that celebrities are paid for a substantial amount of money meant for short advertisements, together with such work doesn't necessarily require too much endeavor. Therefore , working-class neighborhoods that need to pay ones own loans and often should do harsh jobs turn out to be jealous.

Members involving societies that are enthusiastic about entertainment and superstars are deeply tormented by these industries. A famous have a critical impact on almost every ingredient of the lives associated with regular people including politics opinions, fashion fashion, interests, behaviors, and additionally attitudes. However , the foremost affected are young children and teenagers. Advertising changes their getting worldviews and documents new goals in addition to values. Many trainees are ready to give up universities, colleges, and other educative institutions in order to glimpse on billboards and turn into famous. They do not think that they can be successful inside working in other area. In addition , teenagers are more likely to think that vocational techniques are not necessary as they definitely can earn sufficient money in film or even music industries with no qualifications.

The general public can be strongly influenced from the celebrities’ misbehaviors. Many of us believe that if they replicate the lifestyles from famous people, it will help all of them achieve success and reputation. Celebrities are busted for drunk driving, drug use, or other types with misconduct. Although anyone else break laws also, media presents many of these stories that include public figures in a fashion that encourages individuals to behave similarly. Media ensures that celebrities spend your leisure time in club sets and different parties, creating the culture involving sex, drugs, along with alcohol. Many people tend to be against such manifestation because it negatively has an affect on the minds of their total children.

Positive Effects associated with Celebrity Culture

Even if celebrities have unfavorable impacts on a civilization of societies, one can find positive effects as well. Open figures that boost ethical values together with make responsible judgements influence individuals inside of a favorable way. Quite a few famous people support cultural justice and help make significant contributions the moment natural disasters bite. If children aren't obsessed with delusions and additionally misleading ideas, your celebrity industry can be be extremely helpful. Popular consumers can set wonderful examples of appropriate conducts and attitudes. For instance , many of them support humanitarian campaigns, participate in posts regarding social complications, raise money for those who suffer deprivation, give to medical establishments, and promote philanthropism. Also, celebrities exactly who live decent existence serve as good role models for ones general public. They focus on the importance of customary norms like genuine relationships and very own integrity. In addition , certain popular people assist in improving self-esteem in low-confident individuals. For example , imitating the haircut or simply fashion style of a good famous person will enhance confidence in addition to assertiveness.

Another great effect is that your celebrity industry cultivates extraverted personalities. The chief purpose of famous people is usually to entertain and extended the fun. Hollywood worship might be undamaging and even beneficial because the device broadens people’s pursuits as they discover completely new topics in which their particular icon involved. Additionally , it helps people boost their communication capabilities as they meet with additional fans and speak about news and function associated with their entity of admiration. Moreover, celebrities can definitely impact society as well as the environment. For example , a lot of public figures attempt to participate in resolving different global problems much like the protection of wildlife or climate modify. Some of them are working members of necessary environmental organizations for example the World Wildlife Money, Greenpeace, or a International Union to get Conservation of Design. They raise consciousness among international areas on environmental difficulties. Also, many highly successful people advocate of a alternative lifestyle, drug-free organizations, sport, and good families. Such open figures have a extremely favorable effect on all those and communities. Additionally , many of them attract focus on different social problems like poverty, charitable, education, and national awareness. Many highly successful people complete college along with university programs consequently they are interested in politics, brochures, history, and other mental topics. They often supply public speeches designed for students in different institutions. Therefore , they can moreover underline the importance from intellectual development.

Citations Celebrity https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Celebrity

[financialsmatter]

Sunday Funnies, If You're Not Offended...

Welcome back to this week’s edition of the Sunday Funnies where last week we saw Elon Musk finally take over the helm at Twitter and promptly announced to employees they, “can work from home, just not for Twitter.” LOL! And after immediately firing – and escorting out – the CEO, CFO, Chief Legal Counsel and the Censor Czar, Musk is showing that Twitter's life as a deep state narrative-enabling machine is ending with him becoming 'Chief Twit'. Needless to say, many liberals/leftists are terrified. Now That Elon Musk Owns Twitter…     In other bizzarro news, Dems are claiming – amidst his stupor-like appearance and inability to speak coherently – that Democrat Senate candidate John Fetterman won the Debate against Republican Doctor Oz in Philadelphia.     And while we’re on the subject of Brain-dead, we’re hearing stories about the political speculation/strategies surrounding the recent “hammer-time attack” on Nancy Pelosi’s husband, Paul.     In the Elite, Pedophile, Billionaire’s Club news this week Kanye West is learning the hard way about who rules over you.     Maybe the Kardashians had something to do with it… Or Maybe Kanye’s sponsors fear losing sales over his controversial remarks and actions…like wearing a “White Lives Matter” hoodie. Or maybe, JUST MAYBE, the true racists among corporate America are showing their true colors…the opposite of what they did with Colin Kaepernick.     Events like these illustrate how quickly things can change REGARDLESS of your status in life. And that’s also another reason why we publish the Sunday Funnies. You see, we use our funnies/memes/cartoons in an effort to counter the madness and frustration that accompanies Turbulent Times. Because when it’s all said and done, we all need to laugh every now and then. Why? Laughter is good for your soul. And it’s healthy to be a bit silly…especially in the face of fear mongering, medical tyranny, and especially the threat of WWIII. It’s all the more reason why we won’t apologize…especially if our Funnies just happen to hurt some Progressive/Socialist/Communist/Globalist’s feeeellwwings. And please remember: The Sunday Funnies are not just about our nations bizarre state of politics/finance/beliefs. It’s about awareness of what’s happening in the world that we choose to poke fun at. And, if our funnies/memes/cartoons/etc. provide you with a laugh or two – and/or open your eyes to some stark realities – then we consider that a victory. So, when things tend to get a bit overwhelming, we believe it’s best to remember that Humor is Waaaayyyyy better than Hatred…which is contrary to what the world wants you to believe. And we hope you see the Sunday Funnies as a refreshing oasis in the middle of a parched, dry, and increasingly dark world that we’re living in. As always, we remind you: As difficult as things might appear, Evil Always Overplays its Hand…And Righteousness Prevails. Thanks again for joining us on this crazy journey we’re on and remember America Was Built by the Brave, Not by the Fearful… ********************************* And So, it Begins…     *************************************** Fetterman Supporters Be Like…     ******************************** Deep Down, Vegans Know the Truth     ************************************** How Non-Vegans Show Their Support…     ********************************** Vegans and Non-Vegans Alike Agree About the Morning After a Taco Bell Dinner…     ************************************ And Speaking of Farts…     ******************************** The End Result Being...         ******************************** How Kids Trick or Treat in Florida     ************************************** And How O’Biden Supporters Trick or Treat…     ********************************* Meanwhile, and Elsewhere in Florida…Taking Drones to the Next Level      ************************************ With the Exception of Paul Pelosi’s Recent Attacker…         *********************************** Their Rhetoric is Acceptable Until Kanye…     ************************************* In the Liberal Mindset, The Difference Between “People of Color” and “Colored People” is…     ******************************* Meanwhile, The Best Definition of “White Privilege” is…     ************************************ When Zelensky Says He Wants to Nuke Russia, His Plea for Help Sounds Like…     ******************************** War in Ukraine Depends on Who is In Office     ************************************* Typical New York Politics     ********************************* You Know She’s the One When She Whispers:     ******************************* Imagine the Reaction if He Was Alive and Said This Today…     ************************************ After Generations of Inter-Breeding Among the European Elite…     ****************************** To the Dismay of Liberal Ideology, This Kid Definitely Does Not Suffer From Gender Identity     ******************************** We All Know That One ‘Serious Coffee Drinker’ Who…     ******************************* And After Drinking Too Much Coffee, Imagine Driving Down the Road and Seeing This…     ******************************* Another Reminder of Obama’s “Religion of Peace”     ******************************** The Untold Story Behind Kim Jong-Un’s Missile Launching     ************************************ When You Finally Get to the Age Where You Don’t Give a S**t     ********************************** For Those Friends With Hard to Pronounce Names…     *********************************** Having a Sense of Humor Makes Any Job Fun     ********************************* When It’s Halloween and You Haven’t Seen Your Cat Lately       ********************************* ********************************* That’s all for this week’s edition of the Sunday Funnies. Unless, of course, you want to see more risqué and/or R-Rated memes. You can find them (HERE). As always, we hope you enjoy our memes/cartoons/rants etc. and that they bring a smile to your face. We definitely love to hear your comments so keep ‘em coming. And although the world seems pretty dark these days, we encourage you to see why you have a lot to hope for in 2022 and beyond (HERE). In the meantime, be sure to share these funnies with friends and family members. Caution: They may get offended. But remind them…It’s important to laugh together and laugh often. And be sure to tell them… We’re Not Just About Finance. See You Next Sunday… Invest with confidence. Sincerely, James Vincent The Reverend of Finance Copyright © 2022 It's Not Just About Finance, LLC, All rights reserved. You are receiving this email because you opted in via our website. Read the full article

[absurdthirst]

Funny to see how you try to justify yourself! You have zero respect for him. Writing fanfic is one thing, writing perverted porn is something quite different. You lot all sound like either menopausal old women or virgins who think this is what sex is like… Source

Also, no need to read anything as long as you simply see the tags on the story. Are you so sexually frustrated that you write ten thousands of words on the subject? Additionally, married women who write fanfics are very sorry people. I feel for their husbands whom their wives find it more interesting writing porn about actors than caring about them. But like you said, you do you, keep writing your filth and I hope he never has to come across you ever. What a disgrace you are.  Source

Pack it up folks. We are apparently wicked and perverted. So apparently, there are different levels of fanfic. Fanfic is okay as long is it only includes the things that they approve of. 

The ageism is fucking nauseating. I’m so fucking sick of young twits believing that people closer in age to the fucking real life age of the man we are fans of is somehow gross. 

Do you honestly believe that using our downtime, our creativity, to write fanfic affects relationships with spouses? It doesn’t. It’s called being an adult and being able to prioritize. Just because we write dirty fanfic doesn’t mean I love my husband any less and some are not married. 

One day they are going to get old and realize that your interests don't change. You are just shamed for them. 

These posts just scream I am a fucking child and other ridiculously gross things. Like homophobia. And religious purity. 

And laughing my ass off at you sending this to @scribbledghost of all people. She writes the least porny fanfic out of most of us. Her work is beautiful and heartfelt. Go bully someone else with your bullshit - or better yet, keep your stupid fucking opinion to yourself. 

[testudoaubrei-blog]

“She doesn’t want me - not like I want her.” - Catra, Heart Pt 1.

There’s a lot of things that make the themes and emotional arcs of She-Ra impressively, even staggeringly mature for a kid’s cartoon. There’s the themes of religious trauma and oppression, of self-determination, how love can be both the best thing in your life and something that utterly guts you and twists you, how it can bring people together or tear them apart, and also other themes like the conflict of loyalty versus finding your own path, etc. But one of the craziest and gutsiest things about the show is that it’s a kid’s cartoon that hinges on queer desire. Catra and Adora’s love story is not desexualized or abstracted. It’s very explicitly a story of two women who don’t just love each other, but who want each other. This is pretty clear throughout the show (though especially in season 5), and established really thoroughly at every level of their interaction with each other. Catra and Adora have better sexual chemistry than most straight rom com couples (okay, bad example, that’s not saying much), no matter how much said rom coms may try to make that attraction explicit rather than implicit with steamy make out scenes or characters hopping into bed. 

The thing is, you can show desire without even mentioning sex - it’s literally how Hollywood did this for years to get around the Hayes Code. Even today the sexiest movie I’ve ever seen is Jane Champion’s “Bright Star”, where the most explicit reference to sex is a somewhat elipitcal proposition from the heroine that is very gently declined by the hero*. She-Ra, kids show that it is, is a masterclass in showing desire without making anything explicit, and showing desire (directly or indirectly) is so important in a queer love story, especially, since queer love is so often desexualized as a way of defanging its challenges to heteronormativity. This is going to be a three part essay. First of all, I’ll talk about how the show in general portrays sexuality and desire without being explicit and especially without inviting straight dudes to oggle its characters, then I’ll touch on portrayal and role of desire in Catra and Adora’s relationship, and finally I’ll talk about what the show’s portrayal of desire is telling us and why it's important. Because this is a show about desire, about wanting - it starts with Shadow Weaver’s rhetorical framing of ‘isn’t this what you’ve always wanted, since you could want anything?’ and ends with Catra’s cutting ‘What do you want?’ and Adora’s explosive answer (Catra. Our girl wants Catra) two episodes later. 

So let’s drive in.

First, I’m going to use the term ‘sexual desire’ and variations to refer to sexual attraction as depicted in the show, even though it is never named as such and instead is shown by (very clear) implication. When I talk about say, an outfit or a pose or a situation being sexualized, I refer to commonly understood social coding that something should be read sexually. I use these terms to make what the show is doing implicitly explicit. Because make no mistake, the show is very much doing these things very deliberately.

In hindsight, it's not only creepy but ironic and ultimately telling that the initial online tempest in a teapot about the show was over how She-Ra’s outfit wasn’t sexy enough, or whatever. Because the outfits in this show...I wouldn’t describe them as dowdy. There are so many crop tops. So many boob windows (on both male and female characters). There are thigh highs and open backs and I’m pretty sure Double Trouble has a garter belt and I think that’s black leather all over Catra in Season 4? Noelle Stevenson’s  philosophy toward costume design can as always be summarized by a tweet (there is always a tweet...or two):

https://twitter.com/gingerhazing/status/1258874007253729280?lang=en

In addition to this, there’s an apparently deleted tweet where Noelle talks about characters getting crop tops and boob windows ‘as a treat.’ (Some dude on Twitter got in a huff about that, perhaps? Because that site is joyless.)

Of course, creepy neckbeards on YouTube didn’t have distressingly attractive (male) alien overlords in open-fronted gowns and platform heels or nonbinary shapeshifting lizards in mind when they complained about the new She-Ra not being sexy enough. They wanted drawings of conventionally attractive (white) women in skimpy clothing, and they wanted an art style that was tailored to their gaze - detailed, if not realistic, in its depiction of certain parts of women. She Ra’s gleeful celebration of all kinds of people’s bodies - men, women, nonbinary people, butch women, thin women, and perhaps especially muscular women - isn’t what they have in mind. Nor is the art style of the show catering to them, and I think it’s the art style that’s important to the rest of this essay. The show’s style draws the characters so that even when they are dressed in a fairly sexualized fashion (like Catra in season 4), the actual animation doesn’t sexualize them - not in the perspective, not in the details shown (there’s no cleavage drawn, no matter how low cut the top), nothing. So even when every character on screen is dressed in thigh highs and low cut tops with boob windows etc, the show never feels weird or gross or leering. Instead, it feels like it’s celebrating its characters bodies, not objectifying them and especially not objectifying them for the benefit of straight men. And that’s important because this is a kids show, but also because let’s be honest, cartoons that objectify their characters for the benefit of a presumed straight male audience are pretty fucking irritating and even some great shows would be better off if they didn’t do it.

But there’s another thing that the combination of the costuming and art style does. I think it’s important that these characters are often dressed in a sexualized way because even while the audience isn’t invited to check them out, they are definitely checking each other out. This is a show where queer people, mostly queer women, are constantly looking at each other. I’m sure they are Looking Respecfully. Mostly.

Adora checks out Huntara (or at least her muscles), and the Buff Butterfly chick in Elberon. Bow checks out Sea Hawk, (as does Mermista, probably the most explicit opposite-sex attraction on the show). So many characters check out She-Ra. I could go on. These expressions of queer sexuality (appropriate for the target viewership, since they’re not explicit) form a kind of constant background that models a respectful and healthy form of desire that isn’t constrained by shame or twisted by power or control. The art style, and the way the show is animated, thus move the focus away from reader’s reactions to the character’s bodies, and put the focus on how the characters feel about each other. The characters of She-Ra aren’t here to cater to the desires of the viewer (especially not straight men), the show is here to celebrate their desires for each other. Also, this whole thing very accurately captures the vibe of an early 20’s friend group who are probably all hooking up with each other much better than a couple of contrived love triangles could. 

But it’s with Catra and Adora that the gazing escalates the most, and it’s with them that it’s most important to the plot. Because as I said before, She-Ra is a queer love story at its heart, and the desire that Adora and Catra feel for each other shapes the story throughout. These two women wanting each other is baked into the very structure of the show.

Catra and Adora’s desire for one another is shown in a variety of ways, mostly indirect. There are a lot of glances - until season 5, not the kind of open leering at one another that we’d seen between other characters. Mostly it’s fairly playful - wiggled or cocked eyebrows, glances at each other while smirking, that kind of thing, or really intense and somewhat angry glares when they’re fighting. By season 5, we get Catra staring open-mouthed at Adora’s new transformation and blushing. Another major way that the show establishes the sexual tension between Catra and Adora is by their body positions. This is clearest with the dance and fight sequences in Princess prom, which can get pretty risque for a kid’s show - I’m not the first person in this fandom to point out where Adora’s knee is here:

Seriously, there is no heterosexual explanation for this. Then there’s Adora and Catra in the portal reality - they are basically constantly entwined around each other - shoving, wrestling, reaching out for each other. It’s friendly rough housing that is also a lot more. This kind of ‘blocking’ of Catra and Adora continues in different ways for much of the show. As someone on Discord mentioned, you can’t even count how many times Catra ends up straddling Adora over the show’s run. It’s a lot. And yeah, the way Catra and Adora fight is not...it’s not without its share of ambiguity (and let’s be honest, isn’t that part of the fun of enemies-to-lovers? People that say it doesn’t have to involve violence just hate fun). It’s in the way they wrestle and eagerly launch themselves at each other, ‘like am'rous birds of prey,.... rolling all their Strength, and all their sweetness, up into one Ball: And tear their Pleasures with rough strife.’**

Of course, there is a very dark side to this - the implication that Catra, frustrated by her perception that her friend rejected her, is channeling her frustrated desire for Adora in increasingly violent directions, becoming a sadist in the most literal sense of the word and perhaps trying to destroy what (who) she can’t have. This is pretty intense for a kids show, but it’s all (very clear, very deliberate) subtext. Moreover, it’s thematically important - it shows how everything good in Catra is being twisted by her resentments, her fears and her desire to dominate as the only means of keeping herself safe. She mauls Adora in a parody of a lover’s embrace (twice, though once under control by Horde Prime, who mostly wants to torture both of them).

Probably the biggest thing that establishes the sexual undertones of Catra and Adora’s relationship is the voice acting, however. AJ’s purred or snarled ‘Hey Adora’s are fan favorites for a reason - they convey so much of the ambiguity of Adora and Catra’s relationship, but they are also flirtatious as all hell. And as I mentioned in my previous post, Aimee Carrero’s line delivery of ‘Hey Catra’ in the first episode of Season 2 is just about as flirtatious as any line Catra delivers. There’s an edge of playfulness and teasing to both of them that is intensely flirty, and a guardedness that speaks to their own discomfort with how much they want the other person. My friend billypilgrim has pointed out to me that there are actually distinct phases of this kind of verbal (and non-verbal) flirting:

1. Pre sword, pretty organic, tinged with some issues with showing vulnerability etc, but overall pretty natural wholesome and obviously reciprocal 

2. Post sword, pre promise, mostly confused feelings or strong feelings, usually mixed with anger/ or an attempt to get a rise out of the other. Mix of adversarial and reciprocated exchanges 

3. Promise, prompted by memories they kinda swing back into a more guarded, but still mutual back and forth that isn't quite pre sword, but feels more organic than others. 

4. Post promise -portal, mostly one sided offensive digs or angry comments that reveal desire. Not a lot of back and forth that I remember. Primarily  adversarial 

4. Portal reality- see above, very mutual, very reciprocated 

5.  Post portal -pre corridors, limited interaction, one sided digs that give way to just no contact. Very adversarial no reciprocation..

6 post save the cat. Lots of mutual reciprocated flirting with angst imposed by history /circumstance, wholesome but with some of the undercurrents of trying to figure each other out again

So the flirtation mirrors where their relationship is as a whole.

Then there’s the other stuff. Catra shredding the bed she shared with Adora is hard to read as anything other than romantic (or indeed, sexual), and it conveys Catra’s frustration, longing, grief and rage.

The way these two interact in Season 5 is a subject all its own, though. Noelle Stevenson literally saved two scripts for Save the Cat and in his words, ‘we got the gay version.’ Under Prime’s control Catra torments Adora by caressing her face, speaking sweetly to her, and acknowledging her own desire for Adora (‘you broke my heart’) - Prime is among the most important and the most twisted Catradora shippers in the show, in his own way, since while he’s not as all knowing as he claims, he can recognize Catra’s feelings, and Adora’s as well. He tries to use them against Catra and Adora since like Shadow Weaver he believes that love is a weakness, but ironically his prodding only make Catra and Adora stronger (because there is strength and power in lesbianism). The way that Adora is so gentle with Catra even when they fight, the way they reach out to each other, the way Adora cradles Catra after she falls...yeah, we definitely got the gay version of the script.

As the season continues we see this attraction develop and grow. The strained arguments (full of unspoken desires) in Taking Control give way to an easy teasing that is more explicitly sexual and romantic than anything we saw before (except perhaps in the portal reality). This reflects where their relationship is - as Catra and Adora know themselves better and also understand the other a bit better, they are starting to tease apart the muddled feelings they once had for each other, and have already started to discard the more unhealthy aspects of their dynamic. They still wrestle and tease, but now they’re laughing and smiling and grinning at each other. And they can’t keep their hands off one another. It’s hard to find a scene in Season 5 when they’re not touching, until Shadow Weaver shows up (and even then, we still get Catra jumping into fire for Adora and Adora transforming into She-Ra to save Catra in the Failsafe chamber).

Then there’s Heart Parts 1 and 2, where it becomes clear that Noelle is very much Going There. If you didn’t have the kiss spoiled, Heart Part 1 may have been the time when you said to yourself ‘Noelle Stevenson you magnificent bastard, you’re actually going to do it.’ Here’s where the -problem- that desire poses for Adora and Catra is posed so explicitly. This actually begins with the end of Failsafe, where Catra’s anguished ‘what do you want?’ and Adora’s non-answer set up the central conflict of the final two part episode - Adora becoming comfortable with her own desires. In her line ‘Adora doesn’t want me...not like I want her’, Catra expresses what she thinks is her unrequited desire for her best friend (a woman who is about to sacrifice herself for the world). For Catra, Adora wanting her is inconceivable, because Catra thinks that she is unlovable. Meanwhile in Adora’s own hallucinatory journey toward her own death we see that montage of Catra -showing- Adora what she wants most in the whole world, and then disappearing. For Adora, her desires are half-formed, on the tip of her tongue, but quickly shoved aside to focus on her duty and her mission, to save her friends rather than grasp at what Adora wants for herself.

And then there’s the Heart. It’s easy to say the power of love saves the day, but that’s not specific enough. It’s romantic love, erotic love, queer love that saves the day when Adora is confronted with what she wants and finally reaches out for it rather than turning aside in favor of what she’s supposed to do. She tries to do it again and avoid the question of what she wants, but she doesn’t have ‘world enough, or time’ and so the situation, and more importantly Catra’s declaration, forces her hand. Adora’s transformation into She-Ra from Beast Island onwards has always been about her connection to other people, often a desire to save them or help them. But here it isn’t just the prospect of saving Catra, but ~wanting~ Catra that enables Adora to transform, take the power of the heart and murder Prime with the power of friendship. And so lesbianism saves the universe.

So that’s a bit of how the show conveys the (pretty intense) desires of two women for each other without ever mentioning the word ‘sex’ and how that plays out in the show. Stepping back and looking at the whole of Adora and Catra’s arcs, before the show it is implied that neither character can fully accept the nature of their attraction - either how they feel, or that the other returns their feelings. After the pilot, they are both denying their sexuality in some way in Season 1 - Adora is suppressing her desire for Catra and focusing on duty, and Catra is denying her desire for Adora and twisting it into a desire to hurt Adora and make her suffer, while also shoving it aside in favor of her quest for power. Yet for both of them the underlying attraction is simmering under the surface. Often they use it to get under the other’s skin (Catra does this more than Adora, but Adora definitely has her moments), but it’s there in so many of their glances, their lines, and even their blows. Catra is the first to admit that she wants the other (perhaps as early as the end of Season 4, it’s hard to say) but she continues to assume that Adora doesn’t return her desire. Meanwhile Adora continues to dodge confronting what she wants, a question that gets brought up again and again through the show. Adora has grown so much over the series - she’s twice walked away from everything she knew and twice turned away from her closest friend to do what is right, she’s twice walked away from her destiny, she’s saved the world repeatedly by sheer force of will and a strategic amount of ass kicking. But she’s always avoided the question of what she wants, thinking that what she wants is selfish, or a distraction, just like Shadow Weaver taught her. Here she is a counterpoint to the way Catra internalizes Shadow Weaver’s view that love is a weakness and that Catra is unworthy of love anyway. Adora is convinced by Shadow Weaver (not just in Failsafe, really through her entire life) that what she wants distracts her from what is really important, that it weakens She-Ra, when in fact it is only by embracing her desires that Adora can be her true self, and really be the hero she deserves. Again, this isn’t just an abstract self-acceptance, this is an explicit embrace of her sexual desire for another woman that gives Adora her power.

So other than celebrating how lesbianism saves the universe, how should we take the central role that queer desire plays in the show? How does it reflect the queer experience and why does it matter?

First off, I think any celebration of queer sexuality is fucking great. One that introduces these ideas in an age appropriate ways to kids is particularly impressive. Because one thing about queer relationships is that their depiction is often desexualized. In kids shows, this is clearest with the fade to white at the end of Korra (which was the best they could do at the time, it was 2014, it was great), but also through all kinds of pop-cultural ‘family friendly’ depictions of same sex love that consisted of hand holding while straight couples were shown making out in the same shows (insert a 2000’s sitcom here). This means that while mild and non explicit depictions of straight sexuality are considered ‘appropriate for children’ similarly innocent displays of queer sexuality are considered intrinsically explicit or even obscene, something that lives on for higher age ratings for queer content in many countries. The message of this is clear - queer desire is dirty, and wrong, and shameful in a way that straight desire isn’t. Only by openly showing and owning our desires can queer people strike back against stigma (hence the PDA and sometimes risque clothing at Pride).

But beyond this, I think Catra and Adora’s experience of desire reflects so many of our experiences. How many of us, like Catra, have assumed that other people never wanted us like we wanted them? This is perhaps a universal experience, but I think it can be particularly poignant for people attracted to the same sex, when it is easy to assume that of course they wouldn’t like you ‘like that’, especially when we’re dealing with internalized homophobia. By the same token, how many of us have, like Adora, struggled to understand or articulate or act on our own desires when they weren’t what we were taught we -should- want (as I mentioned in my last post)? Noelle Stevenson didn’t come out to herself and the world as a lesbian until he was 24. I didn’t realize I was bi until I was...significantly older than that. I think Adora’s struggle to -want- what she so desperately wants is something a lot of us have felt, but so is the power she finds in finally owning her own desires and acting on them.

So She-Ra isn’t just a depiction of queer relationships or queer people. It’s a celebration of queer desire, packaged in a show that is totally appropriate for elementary aged kids. It’s kind of amazing.

Anyway, just a reminder that this is a series and if you like this here are the other ones. Part 4 will be coming, maybe next week, and will focus on how She Ra thematically and dramatically pulls off a power of love ending. I am also going to explicitly talk about why this ending works when other power of love endings fall flat.

*If you are attracted to guys at all, see this movie, the camera itself is very into John Keats and if you like dudes you will be too. Even if you aren’t, it’s a great movie and a perfect antidote to the both too-reverently ‘historical’ and not-at-all actually historical conventions of costume dramas.

**If you get this reference, yes I made it for you, specifically. Yes you. You know who you are.

[slytherinwh0re]

Fresh linen, daisies, and a hint of honey

Draco Malfoy x female reader AU

Warnings: SMUT (18+ minors dni), a little fluff and maybe a swear word or two?

Summary: Where Draco has a crush on a girl and becomes her partner for a potions assignment.

Masterlist

*Draco’s POV*

The things I would do to that girl if she would just give me the time of day. I’m not quite sure why it happened, one day I noticed (y/n) walking down the hall with her friends and ever since I can’t seem to shake the image of her from my head, it’s no question she’s beautiful.

I have plenty of girls throwing themselves at me but why isn’t she? I mean I am Draco Malfoy. 

The witch has never even glanced in my direction and I know she knows who I am, we’ve had many classes together over the years and well, everyone knows who I am. I would never say it out loud but it truly bothers me that (y/n) seems to be the only person in Hogwarts who doesn’t care about being in my presence. It makes it much worse that I think I may even have a tiny crush on the girl. 

***

There she is, walking into our potions class right past me like I don’t even exist. I have to stop myself from staring at her for most the class. The girl makes it so hard for me to concentrate and she doesn’t even know it, luckily I’m godlike at potions or who knows what my marks would look like.

I’m not sure what it is about her that pulls me in so much. (Y/n)’s easily the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen but I don’t think that’s the only thing keeping my eyes on her. She’s also very kind, always smiling at every twit she comes in contact with and she seems to have this air around her that just reels you in.

“(Y/l/n), since you’re struggling so much you’ll work with Malfoy.”

Did I just hear Snape correctly?

I see her pick up her belongings and make her way over to the empty seat right next to mine. As soon as she sits down all I smell is fresh linen, daises, and something sweet. She turn to look at me with a small smile on her face and stretches out her hand.

“I’m (y/n) (y/l/n), we’ve never properly met.”

I look at her hand, a bit shocked at first but after a second I’m taking it into my much larger one. Her skin is soft.

“I’m Malfoy, Draco Malfoy.” I smirk at the pretty girl in front of me.

“I know.” She smiles wider. “I’m sorry in advance for how bad I am at potions.” Her cheeks turn pink and she turns back towards the front, listening to the rest of Snape’s instructions on our assignment. We had a week to figure out how to make amortentia, a powerful love potion.

As the class was coming to an end (y/n) turns back to me “So I was thinking we could actually start the assignment tonight? I could meet you in the library once my classes are over for the day?”

“Sounds good to me (y/l/n), I’ll see you later.” I wink at her and start heading to my next class.

***

Finally classes are over, all I could think about was how tonight would go and I may be slightly excited to see (y/n) again. I walked to the library as quickly as possible and to my surprise she was already at the entrance looking slightly disappointed.

“Hey (y/l/n), what’s with the long face?”

“It seems everyone had the same idea, there isn’t a single work table open.” She has the cutest little frown on her face.

“Well if you’re okay with it, we could always go to my dorm. I have a private one, being a prefect and all.” I like the idea of having her in my room but I wouldn’t want her to feel uncomfortable. She seems to think about it for a second and then shrugs her shoulders.

“Lead the way Malfoy.”

Once we get to my dorm we start setting up all the different ingredients and materials we’ll need on my work table. I could be imagining it but I swear I catch her glancing at me every once in a while out the corner of my eye. Not that I’m any better.

After the third time the potion explodes she lets out a frustrated sigh.

“Hey it’s okay, we still have all week to figure it out.”

“I know I just wish I wasn’t so useless at potions, maybe then we would’ve made a little progress.” She’s pouting.

“If it makes you feel any better, you’re a way better partner than Crabbe or Goyle.” She starts to laugh and I can’t help but smile at how beautiful she looks. Once she settles down she still has a little smile on her face and I feel good knowing I’m the one who caused it.

“I should get going, it’s past curfew.” She says starting to put away the materials but I lightly grab her hand to stop her.

“You could just leave everything and we could work here from now on.” I scratch my head, nervous to hear what she says. She smiles and nods her head in agreement, picking up her bag from my bed.

“Well I should go.”

“Come on, I’ll walk you to your room.” I think I see her blush but it’s too dark in the hallway to be sure. We make our way to her room in silence, the only sound is our quiet footsteps as we approach her door.

“Thank you for walking me back Draco.” My breath hitches in my throat, no one calls me Draco other than mum and father but it sounds like velvet coming from her lips. I must look as stunned as I feel because then she quickly adds, “I mean Malfoy.” (Y/n) looks so nervous thinking I’m angry but in reality I just want to hear her say it again so I just shake my head.

“It’s okay, you can call me Draco.” This time I’m positive I see a blush on her cheek.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, have a good night (y/n).” I smirk at the blushing girl.

“Goodnight Draco.” Before I even know what’s happening she stands on her tiptoes, grabs my shoulders and plants a short kiss on my cheek, with a little smirk of her own she turns and disappears behind the door.

I smile the entire walk back to my room.

***

When I walk into potions the next day (y/n)’s already sitting at the table I usually sit at. As soon as she sees me she smiles brightly making me smile back.

“Hi Draco, we still on for today?”

“Yeah of course, you can just come to my room whenever you’re ready.”

“All right, I’ll probably change into comfier clothes before heading over.” She says, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her in anything other than her school uniform and robes.

***

I’m laying in my bed waiting for (y/n) and I can’t help but think about her kissing my cheek last night. What did it mean? I decided she was probably just being nice but I wouldn’t hate it if she did it again.

Finally she knocks on the door and I open it up to see her clutching her books to her chest, smiling, as per usual. Once she steps in my room I see she’s wearing jeans and a comfy looking black tshirt, even in such simple clothes the girl outshines everyone.

Once again we worked for hours on the potion and still no progress. However I really enjoyed myself, hanging out with (y/n) was more fun than I could have imagined. She’s funny and so sweet, I don’t know that I could ever grow tired of being near her.

Just like last night I walked her back to her room and to my pleasure she kissed my cheek again, this time a tad closer to the corner of my mouth.

***

The rest of the week went the same, she’d come to my room, we’d work on the assignment, I’d walk her to her room and then she’d kiss my cheek, a little closer to my lips each night. Now it’s Sunday and we have to turn the potion into Snape tomorrow.

“Draco I think we finally did it! If I put in this last ingredient and it doesn’t explode we’ve done it.”

She drops in the last ingredient and the mix starts to steam. (Y/n) squeals in delight and throws her arms around my neck but before I can even move she let go and starts doing a happy dance around my room making me laugh.

“Go smell the potion before you hurt yourself.” I tell the dancing girl. She makes her way over to the cauldron and takes a big whiff, making my heart pound against my chest.

“I smell apples, expensive cologne, and maybe mint?” I can tell she’s confused. “It smells exactly like you Draco. What does that mean?”

“Amortentia is a love potion, whatever the potion smells like to you is the smell of what, or who, you find most desirable.” I sniff the potion, looking right at (y/n) who’s bright red at this point. “For instance I smell fresh linen, daises, and a hint of honey. Sound familiar?”

The beautiful witch is lost for words as I get closer and closer. When I finally reach her I pull her small body flush against mine, putting my face in the crook of her neck and giving it a feathery light kiss.

“You’re an exact match.” I whisper in her ear making her shudder. I start to pepper light kisses on her neck making her moan softly.

“Let me show you just how much I desire you (y/n).” I pull back to see her reaction. She puts her arms around my neck and pulls me down until her lips are an inch away from my ear.

“Kiss me already Draco.”

It takes exactly one second for me to have her pressed against me again, this time with my lips on hers. I start walking us forward until the back of her legs hit my bed and she falls back, the sight of her laying on my emerald sheets has my pants tightening by the second.

She moves so she’s kneeling on the bed, eyes level with mine. She starts unbuttoning my uniform shirt, her (y/e/c) eyes never looking away from mine. Once she has my shirt all the way off she puts her small hands on my shoulders slowly moving them down my chest until they reach my abs making me groan, her hands are so soft.

I reach for the hem of her shirt, pausing to look at her for permission. She nods so I push the shirt over her head, revealing a black lace bra.

She moves one of her hands behind her back and unclasps the material around her chest, removing a strap from each arm and finally letting it fall to the floor by my feet. I take her in for a while, not quite believing that the girl of my dreams is allowing me to be with her this way.

“You’re beautiful (y/n).” With that my mouth is back on hers, our bare chests pressed together. I skim my tongue on her bottom lip asking for permission when I feel the little minx smirking into the kiss, keeping her lips sealed. Two can play that game, I bring my hand down on her ass causing her to gasp, allowing enough room for my tongue to tangle with hers.

I lightly push her back onto the bed, immediately climbing over her. I start laying kisses down her neck, sucking on the skin, wanting her to remember who made her feel this good. I go lower until I reach her jeans, once I unbutton them I tap her hip so I can slide them off her long legs.

“Are you sure about this love?”

“Hurry up Malfoy.” She demands.

“Yes ma’am.” I hook my finger in her underwear pulling them down as slow as possible just so I could watch her squirm. I haven’t even touched her and she’s already soaked, the thought makes me smirk as I settle in between her legs.

I start kissing the inside of her thighs, placing them behind my shoulders. I leave small marks as I get closer to her core.

“Draco, please. I need you to touch me.” Fuck, that was hot.

“I want you to watch (y/n), if you look away I won’t let you finish, understood?” She nods her head vigorously, eyes locked on mine.

I lick a bold stripe up her slick folds making her grab my hair and let out the sexiest moan I’ve ever heard. This girl is driving me mad and she barely even touched me.

I slowly start tracing figure eights on her clit making her squirm, I put one of my hands flat on her stomach to hold her down, with the other I circle a finger at her entrance before sinking it into her. Her eyes never leaving mine.

She moans my name and I’ve decided I would do this everyday if she allowed me, just so I could hear my name come out her mouth like that.

I sink another finger into her, thrusting them faster as her legs begin to shake. I can tell she’s close, she’s having a hard time keeping her eyes open.

“I’m gonna c-” she let’s go before she can even finish her sentence. She throws her head back screaming my name as I flick my tongue over her. When she comes down from her high I pull my fingers out and she watches as I lick them clean, a small smile on her lips.

I get off the bed taking my pants and boxers off, my dick hitting my stomach. I grab a condom from my drawer but her hand stops me before I rip it open.

“Let me do it.” (Y/n) grabs the condom from my hand and rips the foil open with her teeth, slowly rolling it onto me. Feeling her soft hands on me makes me hiss.

“Are you ready?” I line myself up at her entrance, when she nods her head I push myself in. She’s absolutely soaked. Her legs wrap around my waist as I hold her body as close to mine as possible.

“You feel so bloody good.” I moan into her neck as her nails dig into my back. Her little whimpers encouraging me to go faster.

I grab one of her legs and pull it over my shoulder, the new angle making her scream. I smirk at how thoroughly fucked the sweet girl below me looks as I wrap my hand around her delicate throat, her tits bouncing up and down with the force of my thrusts.

I push her leg down and flip her body so she’s laying on her stomach. I don’t even have to say anything, she’s already lifting her hips off the bed and parting her legs so I could fit inbetween them. I’m going to marry this girl one day.

With her ass in the air like that I can’t help but smack it before slamming back into her. (Y/n) buries her face in my sheets as I reach around to rub her clit.

“I’m close Draco.”

“Cum for me love. Let go, I’ve got you.” And that’s all it take for her to be pushed over the edge. Her walls tighten around me as she moans my name, my thrusts become sloppy and I’m seeing stars as I cum into the condom.

Once I get myself cleaned up I go back to the bed and pull the tired girl close to my chest, kissing the top of her head.

“Let me take you on a date tomorrow.” I break the silence.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

[demonslayedher]

Is their any demon slayer character that you think should of had more screen time in the manga?

I could be diplomatic and say we could have benefitted from a smidge more bonding time with all of the non-Tanjiro cast, but instead I shall go on a selfish rant: we should have gotten more of that magatama-wearing peach-flinger, supposedly rightful heir to the Breath of Thunder himself, freaking Kaigaku.

It's probably no surprise that I say this as a Zenitsu Stan. The two deep-dives we got into Inosuke and Zenitsu's pasts were two-cour, and, these would have worked better with more of a bridge between the first and second cours (Natagumo arc and Infinity Fortress arc). Given Inosuke's personality it works a bit better that he was totally unbothered by an unusual memory or two and then floored by how suddenly important his mother became to him when facing her killer, but some odd recollections of Douma would have really sold that "whoa!! Baby Inosuke resided with an Upper Moon!!" shocker. Still, Inosuke was a baby, it only gets so personal (I would totally accept Douma & Baby Inosuke interactions, though, for absolutely sure, but Douma got a lot of satisfying development in his interactions with Shinobu, Kanao, and the other Upper Moons too). Zenitsu, unlike Inosuke, is someone who ruminates and takes everything personally. Jiichan and Kaigaku both had such an impact on him that it's odd for him to go most of the span of the series only thinking back to them once. It's one thing if Zenitsu chose never to mention Kaigaku to his friends, in fact, such a decision would say a lot about their relationship, but knowing Zenitsu he probably ranted about his mean martial brother at the slightest mention of something that might remind him of Kaigaku. But Zenitsu's feelings toward him were highly complex, and it would have been great to get those thoughts before the betrayal. Besides just being like, "oh no, not Jiichan!" we could have felt that twist of the knife in our backs too; Kaigaku's a character we don't get to appreciate until he's dying and already performed all his bad deeds (but I suppose that's the case for many of the other demons, a la Kimetsu logic).

While seeing more of Kaigaku would had been interesting as a Zenitsu fan, it would had also been an opportunity to bring out more in Himejima's character as well. Kaigaku was very keen on upward mobility in the Corp, he had to have had some familiarity with the current strongest people, and he had to have known who the Rock Pillar was and been like, "oh shit." Getting Kaigaku's perspective on Himejima would have given us a very different "oh dang, we should have been watching out for this crying guy" effect than Inosuke just declaring "dude be strong." (But alas, writing a serialized manga is hard and you fit things in where you can. Hence, Taisho Secrets.)

Mostly, it would had been great to get more Kaigaku for Kaigaku's sake. Channeling his anxieties in the form of emotional self-protection and aggression makes him a striking foil to Zenitsu in more than just their sorely lacking Thunder Breath capabilities. There was an arc there we didn't get to see unfold. He had to have some feelings left over from selfishly allowing that demon massacre to occur at the temple filled with orphans, whom he must have felt at some level he was better than. Having someone he respected see potential in him and treat him as someone special might have given him hope to make a better person out of himself, but if the same care could be given to someone like Zenitsu, then it probably made him feel pretty betrayed too. That drive to make himself be someone special is like a more dangerous look at Shinjuro's drives which drove him to depression, and it would had been so, so, so rich to see Kokushibo see some of himself in Kaigaku too, instead of only being like, "hmm, you're strong, guess I'll spare you."

But to have been in a fight against Upper Moon 1 and held out on his own that long in the first place? Especially someone who was still in training very recently? KAIGAKU WAS A FREAKING BOMBSHELL OF A POWERFUL DEMON SLAYER. He was already on Twelve Moon level when he turned; it must had driven Kaigaku mad to see that Zenitsu was the one running into all the strong demons and Thunderclap-and-Flashing his way up the ranks. Sure, he accepted Kokushibo's proposition because he was terrified. And I love that even someone as assured of his own specialness can succumb to mortal terror (again, interesting Zenitsu foil). But Kaigaku accepted this new role as readily as he accepted demon slaying as his calling; he set right about eating people, lots of people. Which people? We'll never know, but I'd like to think he ate those boys who Zenitsu punched for talking bad about him.

Kaigaku's belief in himself means that whenever he's cornered, he'll discard any previous identity and take on wholeheartedly whatever his new one is. Interesting choice to give him a magatama motif, those are thought to bring out one's innate spiritual power. He's always relied most on himself. Once Kuwajima let him down, he didn't need Kuwajima anymore. Even once he become filled with Muzan's blood (and approval), he wasn't in it for Muzan, he was in it to prove himself superior and talented.

But Kaigaku so, so desperately looks outside of himself for approval anyway. HE'S SUCH A TRAGEDY. And if we had gotten more snippets of him here and there throughout the manga, even just one scene of Zenitsu running into him and getting told off for punching those guys, we would have had the anticipation of him being an inevitable train wreck instead of just "mean guy who was mean to Zenitsu and will probably be mean again in future chapters because he is mean."

No, Kaigaku was mean because he had so many of his own insecurities to wrestle with and he was so bad at that and I wish, I wish, I wish we could have gotten more of Kokushibo being like, "I have the cure for insecurities, just don't be a weak human anymore" (especially because Kokushibo appreciated he could be honest in Muzan's service instead of having to privately wrestle with his jealousy and angst of impending demise, so it would had been great to give Kaigaku a similar outlet). And if Muzan was willing to promote him to Upper Moon 6 so quick off the bat, I wish we could have seen some interaction between them, like Muzan showing up to the site of Kaigaku's first blood bath and praising Kaigaku for his eagerness to get stronger and his potential as a powerful demon. How GOOD that would had sounded to Kaigaku's ears. And dang, oh man, if Himejima could had known, if he could had known ANYTHING about Kaigaku joining the Corp and then showing his true colors, being an untrustworthy little shit because that's all humans usually are, w o w that would had painted more of Himejima's dark side besides just saying a 4-year-old girl was a selfish human (I would totally accept more Himejima cynicism, especially because it's so disconcerting coming from one of the most level-headed characters in this whole manga).

Phew. Anyway. I guess I could go on a rant about a lot of good scenes we could have gotten from many of the characters, but I still stick with Kaigaku as my answer to his because he's the acting agent in a betrayal, and betrayals work best if first see what it is that they're destroying. AAAAUUGHHH I LOVE A GOOD BETRAYAL and this one feels like it was written backwards, I wish it could had been seasoned throughout the text more instead of taking the lid off the shaker and dumping a pile of salt into a few short chapters. KAIGAKU, YOU ARE ONE BIG PILE OF SALT. But also you deserved to have your pain shared, you selfish twit, come back here in some earlier chapters and let us see you try to have a stiff upper lip when people point out your insecurities, you were trying so hard, you big baby, come back here and let us a love you a bit before you zap us with your betrayal.

*angrily throws peaches to conclude the venting Ask reply*