#Me when the rarepair is so rare only me and my partner ship it

[tspstuff]

May I present a ship that the world didn't see before???

TK X HUMAN LOVEBUG!!! (timebug)

[lily-alphonse]

I have a lot of rare-pairs but I'll try to only send one at a time. Leah x Emily is one of my favorites, just two nature loving lesbians, I think it's perfect.

THE HIPPIES *nodding as I think* Yes, yes I can work with this

I like their ship name being Lemily because it sounds like Lemony and no other reason lol.

SOME AO3 RESEARCH LATER...

Yeah nature definitely seems to be the thing tying them together. They're hippies. Emily would make all their clothes. They call each other wife and life partner but wouldn't actually get married since their spiritual bond matters more than what the government has to say about their relationship.

But how does it start? (cw recreational drug use)

Actually Leah is relieved to find someone like-minded after moving to Pelican Town.

After meeting people like Lewis and Jodi she was starting to worry moving to a small town was a mistake. But then she spots Emily working the bar and she is a breath of fresh air.

Leah compliments her sweater and Emily proudly states she made it herself with organic wool, and Leah basically has heart eyes over it right away.

Over the course of a night they talk, Emily leaning over the bar with interest between serving other customers. Every time she walks away Leah returns to her sketch book, mapping out the landscape of Emily's face.

Eventually Leah asks if she knows where to get weed around here. Emily just winks and says "I've got you."

When Emily gets off of work they smoke as Leah walks Emily home. Leah wasn't planning to get romantically involved with anyone so soon after breaking things off with her ex, but the chemistry with Emily is undeniable and she feels pulled in to her orbit.

She has such a bright laugh, and soft-looking lips.

Emily reaches to hold her hand as they walk, being a naturally affectionate person. But she asks "Are you seeing anyone, Leah?" and Leah about chokes.

"No, I'm not."

"Can I kiss you?"

And now she does choke, despite how she'd been getting used to how direct Emily was. "I-I, um, yes, absolutely. Please"

And then they sloppily make out on the side of Emily's house until Haley shouts at them from the window lmao

Send me any Stardew Valley rarepair and I will tell you how I would make them work! (Even non-marriage npcs) If youre lucky you may get a mini fic out of it. Check the list below to see if Ive already answered yours

Rarepair Masterlist

@janna-20208

[deathbyoctopi]

Rarepair April! Yaaay!!! >w<

So! For the past couple weeks I've been working a lot with Gotcha for Gaza and another event, writing some oneshots for prompts, and the wonderful rare ships I was asked about are just so cute!!

So, for those already lost on just what I have and haven't written (me included), here's the recent Rarepair Festival >w<

🚢Wen Chao / Wen Zhuliu🚢

Shouting was heard from the ancestral hall of Lotus Pier. Which wasn’t too strange on the warmest summer days, when the youngest disciples took refuge in the cool shade and played games (making them grow quite rowdy), ensuing the even louder screams from the closest responsible adult that came to yell at them young irreverent ruffians.

Ah, but it wasn’t summer anymore, and the shouting now was far from joyful. Also, all the disciples were dead.  

From: A helping hand, a nsfw nasty little dub-con because if Wen-er-gongzi discovers he likes being spanked, can his faithful bodyguard actually refuse? (he should and he almost does! XD)

🚢Nie Huaisang/Lan Wangji🚢

Lan Xichen eyes nervously the other members of the meeting. Judging by the little monitors on his screen, no one else seems to be noticing that Wangji is having some sort of inappropriate fun right now, thank God. Although he can’t understand why, since it’s so obvious…

But well, Lan Xichen has been long aware that, for some reason, he seems to be the only person able to read Wangji’s solemn expression, which Jin Guangyao has called on some occasion “the most perfect poker face” he’s ever seen.

From: Just another corporate secret, a naughty Lan Wangji / Nie Huaisang from the pov of Lan Xichen, that gets in an online meeting and realizes what's going on under his brother's table.

🚢Jin Guangyao / Nie Huaisang🚢

“Tell me, a-Yao…”

The tinkle of golden wrist bells rang soft and delicate, glittering against the dark golden silks of the bed. The light was low and the perfumed incense thick, and there was a heavy suggestion of alcohol in the room.

Enough to make Nie Huaisang’s voice pass for something even more light and feminine.

“…have you been a good boy?”

“Yes, a-niang.”

From: Tell it to your mumsy, a nsfw HuaiYao where a drunk Jin Guangyao misses his mum very, very much (and Nie Huaisang takes advantage of that to learn all his little secrets >w<)

🚢Jin Guangyao / Wen Ruohan🚢

“Show me what do you do to them. The prisoners.” Wen Ruohan sat calmly on a wooden chair, which the local guard had very wisely left free the second he saw those two turning the corner of the corridor.

Meng Yao’s voice didn’t betray his thoughts, but even so the sightliest hesitation dripped through. He looked at the prison guards, still lounging by the nearest cell.

“As your Excellency wishes, but… Here?”

“Here.”

“Wouldn’t it be more suitable to... perform such acts in the comfort of your Excellency's bed?”

“Here, a-Yao.”

From: Keep an ace up your sleeve (it will come handy) a very nsfw insight at some special methods Meng Yao came up with to torture prisoners during his internship with the Wen...

Lastly, not a ship but a very special pair I hold very dear to my heart...

🍃Xiao Xignchen & Cangse Sanren🍃

Cangse Sanren put her arm around Xiao Xingchen’s shoulder and her voice took a conspiratorial tone.

“You too, you must get yourself a good and reliable cultivation partner, do you hear? Like that young man you fought with. What's his name? Song Something."

"Zichen."

"Whatever. If you like him, tie the knot as fast as possible. Life is so short, and so precious!”

Xiao Xingchen could have blushed, if it wasn’t because he had lost quite a lot of blood and was feeling a bit light-headed.

“Shijie, please, don’t tease…” he said hiding a smile.

From: Relentless in love (and dodging nettles), where Xiao Xingchen comes across a mischievous spirit and realizes she is non other than his legendary martial sister...

There! Now I'm up to date with the weird shit I've written lately XD

[dehvours]

SHIPPING INFO. Answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog.

What’s your OTP for your Muse(s)?

avenchi and wriochi. and it's all shrimpy's fault LMFAO.

What are you willing to RP when it comes to shipping?

I mean. I'm not super picky. I have a few specific ships I won't do, but other than that, I'm open. I don't mind crossover ships, rarepairs, ships with muses who don't meet in canon. My thing is, as long as there is chemistry between the muses. I won't change how I write my muses for a ship. I also don't mind darker or 'messy' ships, especially since, with ch.ilde, uhhhhh *gestures at it*

How large does the age gap have to be to make it uncomfortable?

my hard line is muses under 18. it is in its early 20s so that's a no. other than that, with this muse, i'm not really super picky? especially since this is a fantasy world where there are 500+ year old beings.

Are you selective when shipping?

I would say yes. I like there to be a dynamic that lets us both explore our muses. I love building plots and developing them together, because that's what really hooks me with ships. It's why I do tend to limit how many of a certain ship I write, because I want to make each dynamic unique and give the other mun's muse attention as their muse, and all the individual thought they put into it. In the same vein, I don't really enjoy feeling 'collected', or that the same plots are being reused with my muse that are being used for others. I want to create something together. So I tend to mostly feel comfortable shipping with those I know are willing to do that with me, and who will respect my portrayal, and who will let me gush to them about our muses.

How far do steamy moments have to go before they’re considered NSFW?

uhhhhhm. I honestly have no idea, I tend to tag suggestive with any sort of making out, and nsfw when the clothing comes off, mostly to be safe bc I struggle knowing what others consider nsfw. hashtag bible belt life.

Who are other muses you ship your muse with?

idk what I did with my ship tier LMFAO but. other biases include lumine, lyney, thoma, and kaeya. though I am also a sucker for yoimiya and ganyu, and a writing partner got me hooked on navichi, because ch.ilde is weak for compassionate, badass ladies, apparently

Does one have to ask to ship with you?

yes pls because I need you to whack me over the head with it, I am dense as fuck and I will not pick up on hints you want to ship.

How often do you like to ship?

I do enjoy it, but like I said, I need that chemistry between both muses and mun. I'm here to have fun

Are you multiship?

yes. I only will do ship exclusives in rare cases (ie, for other muns I talk to and trust/vibe well with, and with whom we've created a well-fleshed out dynamic that me and my muse get very attached to)

Are you ship obsessed or ship more-or-less?

ehhhh, kinda? I don't go looking to ship to start out, but if it happens, I do very much get invested.

What is your favorite ship in your current fandom?

wriochi..... also not this blog but aster has me hooked on skk so bad i'm crying over them on the daily

Finally, how does one ship with you?

if we've had some interactions and you're interested: tell me!! I love talking about it, but,, I also need that communication. I really enjoy creating those stories, but only when we're both invested in it and having fun. I love rambling and bouncing ideas off each other, but I need to be comfortable enough with someone to be able to do that. my adhd brain will go nuts, and I bring a lot of energy to the table, but I also very easily feel annoying, so that chemistry between muns helps a lot tbh.

I stole this from the dash so go ham and yoink it if you want.

[echoes-lighthouse]

Bananas and Lychees for the general selfship asks please!

Haha YES thank you Emile <3 ^-^

Here's the ask game if other people want to reblog it but I THINK I've actually gotten every single thing asked to me already!! I just have to make my way through my inbox!

lychees ✦ do you use self-shipping to explore dynamics that you otherwise wouldn't in real life? if so, what dynamics (if you're willing to tell)? do you use self-shipping to imagine things you do want to experience in real life?

Little bit of both! I use my selfshipping 90% as escapism: usually that's higher-energy dynamics that I just don't have energy for in real life. Me and my IRL partner are very homebound due to mental and physical disabilities so even a lot of my positive selfships are like... not things that I currently want because I know they would just exhaust and hurt me lol

And then of course I do have darker ships where I specifically explore dynamics I would never want in real life, where communication is shut down and one person has all the power, or it's a constant struggle between us for domination. None of which I would ever want: I am very concerned about comfort in my real relationships (both my own and my partners') and I literally have never skipped a chance to over-communicate.

The only place in my selfships where I feel like I really am exploring something that I want is in some of the specific non-sexual kink dynamics that I have with some of my f/os: it's something that I haven't had for a while and I would really like to have again with a platonic partner in kink.

bananas ✦ do you have any ships unrelated to self-ship?

BOY DO I!!!

Shipping is literally soooo important to me as a person and has been for a lot of years: I recently made a top 100 ships list (and I'm almost done moodboards for each one) and I'm going to expand it to a top 200 ships list as well!!!

If anyone wants to hear about MORE of my ships or why I ship them or anything like that then you can so totally hit me up, but here is my top ten list!!! (under a readmore for people who don't like canon shipping)

I made this list based on the idea of 'what dynamic I'll never be tired of: if I was going to read a new AU or fic idea, which pairing would I like to read it about?'

ECHO'S TOP TEN ALL TIME SHIPS

10: Spock/Kirk (Star Trek)

9. Jack/Bitty (Check Please!)

8. Holmes/Watson (Every Source)

7. Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens, book version)

6. Rey/Kylo (Star Wars)

5. Lan Zhan/Wei Ying (The Untamed/MDZS)

4. Charles/Erik (X-Men Movies)

3. L/Light (Death Note)

2. Skulduggery/Valkyrie (Skulduggery Pleasant)

Dean/Castiel (Supernatural)

(yes, my shipping taste in my top-tier tends to be very basic and match AO3 trends, because the more content I consume about a ship, the more I ship it! So it's rare for rarepairs to get up in those high brackets for me, but you can tell how much I LOVE them when they do get up there: looking at you, Valduggery)

[superbeaucoupdevisages]

18, 1, 2, 12, 10

18. is there a ship you used to like, but not anymore?

[ not any that i can think of tbh? sure i may not ship them as much as others, but i still like them! ]

1. what’s the best thing about shipping for you?

[ the chance to write a close relationship with my muses that will explore sides of them that not everyone gets to see! and it’s cute af to write AND read tbhhh. ]

2. what’s the worst thing about shipping for you?

[ when a partner just?? stops trying? like just because we officiated the ship now doesn’t mean you can get lazy with replies and writing things together? just like irl friendships and relationships, you have to keep giving effort to get effort back. thats why i love talking about the ship with my partner and getting ideas! ] 

12. do you ship any rarepair?

[ ODDLY ENOUGH YEAH?? so far the only fandom i THINK i do a rare pare in is hypmic? ]

10. what do you think about poly ships? would you play any?

[ poly ships can be amazing!! i would def rp them and have in the past! the only downside i have run in to is one partner never replying to threads and not doing much...but then they got mad when me and the other partner rp’d a lot together? aha... ]

[sitp-recs]

Hidden Gems by mindabbles

Mindabbles is another old favourite that I revisit quite often. Their case fics are amazing in plot and UST, and they not only deliver A+ Drarry content but also delicious cross gen romance! I especially recommend their rarepair stuff to those like me, who love some age gap and a special attention to Teddy and Charlie, my beloved! In the end I couldn’t shortlist only 5 fics so here are 8 amazing reads with diverse ships and genres. There’s fluff, introspective angst and delightful smut for all tastes. Enjoy!

Drarry

Harmony (Left-Handed Melody Remix) (2010, M, 5.8k) - immediate post-war, pianist Draco, get together

He is the last person Draco was expecting, but then again, this is not a place Draco ever expected to be. Read my rec here.

This Unexpected Windfall (2018, E, 11k) - case fic, Auror partners, single dad Draco

Harry doesn’t like it when Draco is called in to work one of his cases. No. He doesn’t like it at all — at least that’s what he tells himself. Read my rec here.

The Thread Through the Labyrinth by mindabbles (2013, M, 11k) - time travel AU, falling in love, first time

Harry was twenty-one the first time it happened; he was twenty-one and falling in love for the first time. It seems he'll go back, travel through time, until he finds the anchor that keeps him here.

Spirited (2019, E, 14k) - case fic, ghost hunter Draco, Obliviator Harry, Draco in the Muggle world, get together

Draco needs just a few good reviews on something called “The Yelp.” He’s finally on the verge of the perfect case when Harry bloody Potter decides to stick his nose where it doesn’t belong.

Rare pairs

Puddlemere’s New Man (2020, E, 6.2k) - Teddy/Oliver goodness! Age gap, locker room sex, porn with feels

Teddy is willing to put in the work. He’s willing to practice twice as hard as anyone else, except that no one can out-work Oliver — a fact that Teddy finds he doesn’t mind in the least.

Settle (2017, E, 9k) - omg salt and pepper Jeddy yes please! Curse breaker James, Head Auror Teddy, UST and mild pining, James/others

James has never wanted to settle down – or maybe he’s never wanted to settle.

Putting Charlie Right (2018, E, 9k) - amazing Teddy/Charlie feat. falling in love at the dragon reserve, desk sex, dirty talk and a perfect Teddy as a treat 💜

Teddy is good at his job. He can take the most disorganised, poorly maintained record keeping system and have it pass any audit within weeks. Teddy is very, very good at his job, and he’d be able to prove that fact if Charlie wasn’t bent on distracting him.

There’s Something About A Malfoy (2019, E, 27k) - Harry/Scorp + Draco/Charlie hehe 🔥 Auror romance, fluff & smut & age gap angst as we deserve

Charlie has no room in his drawers for anyone else's skivvies, Harry wallows in moral agony for a bit, Draco wants to rebuild his life, and Scorpius just wants Harry to stop being an idiot. And there's something wicked in the forest. If they're going to stop it, they're all going to have to work together.

[theultimatefanficwriter]

My Ships!

Hey guys! So currently it's late at night and I wanna write something to help me sleep. So here I am on my phone quickly writing out all my ships down so you guys can see what a loser I am lol.

Now feel free to discuss your opinions, but dont start any ship wars or bash anyone's ships, alright? Cool! So here we go! Each ship will have a short explanation as to why I ship it. And they are in order from favorite to least, though my least favorite is still one I like.

Ishimondo-This is my biggest comfort ship. I love enemies to lovers so much and these two idiots are just...such a beautiful tragedy.

Saimota-Can someone say bromance? Like please they were flirting so hard it hurts. They are dating your honor.

Saimatsu-Please the way she was able to motivate him? Even after death she helped him improve. They had such chemistry from the very beginning.

SakurAoi-Yeah yeah Sakura has a bf whatever. But they technically werent dating yet cause they were waiting til Kenshiro got well. So...LES GO LESBIANS! Hina was about to commit murder suicide for her boo. Literally lovers.

HaruKaito-So even besides the fact Maki straight up confesses, I disagree with people saying they dont have chemistry. They're adorable and Kaito opens her up to people. This ship is adorable af.

Tokomaru-Similair to Kaito and Maki! Komaru helped Toko be a better person! Like I hated Toko at first, but after UDG, shes a top tier favorite. This ship is too cute.

Soudam-Again I love enemies to lovers. Idgaf if they never show romantic interest in each other shut up. They're beautiful bastards, both of them.

Fuyupeko-...do...do I really need to explain? Just play the second chapter again lol.

Hinanami-Im not a big fan of Hajime. In fact hes my least fave protag. But I think the way they interact and the way he is around Chiaki is too fucking cute.

Sondam-They had the more obvious chemistry in the game, and I love Sonia with Gundham. They fit each perfectly, having similar interests. Plus how sad she was when he died? 😭

Kiiruma-Ok so they're a perfect fit right? Kiibo was one of the only ones to even care when Miu died, and Miu seemed to care about Kiibo. Yeah because she could upgrade him, but I feel theres more there!

Naihiro-Now this is a rare pair. I think the two of them are very cute and soft boys, so they relate to each other. Theyd be a very sweet couple.

Akanidai-Nekomaru literally died to protect Akane, and took two bazookas to the chest for her. They were inseparable. Case closed. They cute.

Daiyakure-Another rarepair. It's hard to ship Hiro with people cause you'll get hit with the "hes 21 and they're underage" argument. But with Daiya Oowada, you can say hey, fuck you! Theres literally no interactions between them. It's almost a crack ship. But I love it more than I should.

Naekure-Another Hiro ship, but this one can be justified by saying they start dating after they escape the game and they know they're both adults. I think Makoto would be a decent balance to Hiro's...everything.

Togakure-Same logic as with Makoto as to when they get together. Byakuya would be able to deal with his idiot enough to calm him down slightly. Plus it would be a funny contrast.

Ishikure-Ok now this is a bit harder to explain. I see it more as they were dating before the mind wipe, and in survivor aus theyd date again. I just think Hiro being the only one to care about him after ch 2 is sweet and that the two would be cute.

Hagekureon-Same reasoning as with Taka;Hiro and Leon were dating before the game and/or they date in survivor aus. I think the two idiots together would be an interesting combo, like with Ishimondo.

Naegami-Finally, back to well known ships!😅 So Byakuya clearly cares for Makoto even if he tries to hide it. He'd be a good partner to Makoto, if not a bit tsundereish.

Kuzusouda-Fuyuhiko was like the only one to try to curb Kazuichi's simping, and they have a nice friendship in the anime(from what I've seen and heard, havent seen all of it😅)so I think Fuyu would be able to help Kaz accept himself.

Asakure-Once again, getting together after game. My friend put it as "the two idiots getting together. Its cute." And hes not wrong lol Despite Hina being slightly smarter and the fact she bullied Hiro a bit in game, I can see them working off each other nicely.

Goshi-Firstly I just love the striking difference in their heights. It's funny as hell to me lmao. But secondly I think Gonta's sincereness and kindness could eventually break through to Ryoma and help him realize he isnt unlovable, and he is worth something.

Twobuki-I just think Ibuki's constant praise and lowkey flirting with Twogami is adorable, especially given his...size. Usually people would make a character like that completely unlovable, so the fact she was seen doting on him so much is adorable.

BandAid-Now I normally dont ship killers and victims. It just doesnt feel right to me. But given Mikan was more or less brainwashed into doing it, i kinda give this ship a pass. Plus i think Ibuki could help her be more confident in herself and stop letting others use her.

Soapies-I dont really like either of these characters, thus why its last on the list, but I think Mahiru is the only one who could "tame" Hiyoko, for lack of a better word. She could help her stop being a bully and actually open up to others. Plus they both care a lot about each other. It's cute. Its sweet.

So that's my list! It might grow, and if it does I'll reblog this post to add onto it! Feel free to give your opinions on it, but remember: no ship wars!

Alright imma go pass out now! Good night guys! Lol

[avatraang]

2021 Year End Fic in Review

I haven’t seen this going around, so I’m starting it myself :))

How many stories did you complete?

7! they are as follows: worship the flame (azula x aang), a better companion (mai x aang), time is not a friend to them (kuzon x aang), intimacies only night air can bring (suki x aang), newness and change (sokka x toph), standing here, sharing (finnick x katniss), and the man on the moon (yue and zhao). pretty cool how many aang ship fics i wrote! love my king.

What is your total word count for the year?

32,082. Not that much in the grand scheme of things, but considering how busy and mentally overwhelmed i felt the majority of the time, I’m pretty proud of that!

What fandoms did you write in this year?

lmao, i deviated from last year and wrote one (1) fic that wasnt in the atla fandom. yay me! so, six atla fics and one thg fic. 😎

Did you write more, less, or roughly about what you expected?

More! I kept feeling like I couldn’t make one fic possible, but then I’d suddenly be overwhelmed by a surge of creative energy or my partner and friends would motivate me beyond belief and boom, the fic would be complete and I’d have started a new one. So yeah, definitely more, which is awesome 🥰

What’s your own favorite story of this year?

worship the flame. this fic took me the longest out of them all to write (the second one being my sukaang fic), and it’s because i had all these azulaang thoughts ruminating until i finally said “fuck it” and wrote it all. literally took me like, five months of thinking before i finally did it! but i’m so glad i did, because it’s definitely this year’s fave and a fave overall.

What is your most under appreciated story of the year?

standing here, sharing and the man on the moon have the least amount of kudos, but i attribute that to them both being new fics and being very rare pieces in their respective fandoms. honestly, it’s my tokka fic that is the most under appreciated this year imho. newness and change was published November 11th, but the stats are really off compared to the usual amount for tokka fics. In comparison to the sukaang fic I published a month prior, that fic has one more ku do than the tokka fic, and one more comment. Which isn’t a lot, but when you think about how sukaang is very much a rarepair while tokka isn’t, it is a big jump in stats. It kinda disappointed me that not many people are enjoying newness and change, because i worked super hard on that fic and it’s probably the fic i’m proudest of, second only to worship the flame. ultimately though, even though i perceive it as being under appreciated because of how much i love the fic, it’s alright. I’ll read it and enjoy it myself 🤣

What’s your most appreciated story of 2021?

worship the flame. it’s got the most kudos, bookmarks, comments, and hits. granted, it has been published longer, but i also think the success is deserved and warranted regardless of how long the world has had with it. definitely deserved, imho!

Biggest fanfic related disappointment of 2021?

That I couldn’t find that many everdair fics!! I thought for sure that finnick and katniss would’ve been popular in the thg fanfic world, at least as friends, but I was mistaken. That’s partly why I wrote my own everdair fic: standing here, sharing —it broke my heart that there aren’t many out there and i sorely want to help fix that.

Biggest fanfic related surprise of 2021?

the response on my kuzaang fic. I did not expect it to be as popular as it is! when i published time is not a friend to them, i thought for sure it would pass by the fandom like a ship in the night and be the quietest of the fics in the aang x everyone series that it belongs to. but no, it’s got pretty good stats and was very well received. super surprising but very happy it is so well liked!

Something you are looking forward to working on in 2022?

I’ve got some stuff that didn’t make the cut to getting published this year. Things that have yet to make it on paper and things that have yet to be completed. I’m looking forward to completing them in 2022, or at least getting more of it done, and of having fun discussing the process with my friends while i do so. That’s probably one of my favorite parts of writing in general, not just fic, and also one of the most motivating parts —talking about each other’s work with your friends or partner. I cannot wait to do this and more in the coming year. Cheers to ao3 2021 🥂, and greetings to ao3 2022 🤟🏼!

Tagging: @cats-and-metersticks @shifuaang @thetpot @twinkle-toph @azulaang-chakras

[bellsyafterdark]

are there any other star wars ships that you're into/that we can bounce ideas off you? (if that's not wanted then my bad)

I am pretty much an omnishipper which means I support everything but not all of them catch my interest in the same way.

I tend to be drawn to ships with a bit of shade, where they could/do antagonise each other a little or a lot, even better if one or more involved have done some questionable shit. I like ships that aren't so straightforward, self-evident, or popular, because the fun for me is to figure out how a rare, unlikely or non-intuitive puzzle of a relationship works or could be possible.

And if there's Size Difference? Holy 🔥. Service Top potential -- hold my gd beer. Bonus inhuman and/or monstrous elements on top? Baby, I'm already writing just point me where.

For me it's a little less "who?" and it's more "what are they bringing to the table?" If the concept is interesting to me, even if the ship is super-established, I'll be curious. I prefer when the challenges are thematically resonant with what we know of their character so the challenges or questions to explore are meaty and satisfying.

(you wouldn't know this from all the porn I've been writing but it's been stressful ok)

Marie Kondo is my creative muse: I love mess. And then I like to see if either we can make that ship's mess worse or navigate our way out into greener, therapised, mutually communicative pastures.

I find the more the merrier especially fun, as is probably obvious by the ball and chain polycule and YES I SAW THAT ASK TO BRING COBB BY FOR A VISIT AND I AM SALIVATING OKAY I WANT IT 😍🤤🔥

I really wish my brain wasn't so wired for rarepairs bc I would have so much more fucking food 😂

Some specific ship examples below the cut.

Rare randoms I want see more

Any iteration of Bo-Katan/Koska Reeves/Axe Woves. Why is there not more content for these three? And then inflict them on Din idk.

Boba/Koska: I know 90% of people heard "little one" and gave it to Din but maaaaaan this was fire FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

(if it's a Mando ship my reprieve will often be "inflict them on Din" bc he's our hero)

Boba/Fennec (Bobannec) makes me crazy because I love power couples with conflict. I love that tbobf didn't start with everything at peace. Ah, show me the journeeeeeey 😍

Anything Axe Woves: just, who the fuck are you, dude? Huh? Tell me.

Anything Armourer, Koska or Fennec: I want them to beat me up and/or sit on my face and I'm not particular about the order.

Paz/Probably Anyone because it would be an opportunity to explore his character.

Din/The Darksaber: I read a story where the darksaber had a symbiote and it's never left my brain ok

Din/Monsters: This is not very fucking deep, I just love monsters

Background commentary

Din/Robots: Dude is a recovering droidphobic let's please traumatise I mean continue his journey

Thrawn/Eli Vanto: I know nothing about Eli Vanto but Thrawn is my actual favourite star wars character so I want to learn more about Thrawn

I've read plenty of QuiObi and cried tears over Codywan, I love Anidala and classics like HanLeia but I know I'm never going to write for those. I never even sit back and wonder about them. Because I get why they work. Those are what I read when I know exactly what I need and will get.

For instance, Din/Luke is the leading mlm ship in the Mando fandom (I think) and I think it's sweet! It also gives Din plenty of opportunities to be with his baby 🤗💛 But nothing fires in my brain for that ship because... I get it 😂 also they're both so similar in their gentle natures and I prefer ships where there's more fire in the complement. DinLuke would be the neighbours I want to live beside but I sure don't wonder about their prospective love life.

(I'm more partial to Han/Luke because Back In My Day we liked pain; how would Luke navigate this impasse where he may love his sister unconditionally but he's trying to smother this shameful, painful yearning for her partner/husband, etc.)

The only things I don't write are reader inserts and OCs (basically the same thing). Again, I support them and I've read plenty, ok my first entry into writing for Mando was the absurdly popular pairing of Din and this original stormtrooper character named Corin BC the writer was just that engaging, but now I have an actual cast to play with. I'd rather see what opportunities they all provide for me.

[zhaozaipalooza]

I saw that there might be more kinds of various paloozas in the future and I just wanted to say that sounds very cool. I also recognize the mods are pouring a TON of work into making this event happen. So I wanted to ask, how did you find each other and decide to do the event? I'd be open to helping mod something in the future, but I think I'm more or less alone in shipping my little rarepair. 😞

ray:

I was a private eye stashed in the seedy district of Rarepair Hell… or so the locals called it. Devils they were, crawling around abandoned tropes and daring dynamics, pushing the boundaries of the unknown like my late partner who went down in ‘42.

Boy, had I hit a goldmine for unapologetic crime. I’d reckon I was home.

Got straight to work defying the anti-shipping crowd. We had canoes, kayaks, sailboats held together by grit and spunk alone, tiny but almighty crews I grew to call mutuals aboard The LuZhao and S.S. Zhaozai. Then hit quarantine, the kind of snowed-in null of buzz and song that had us all baking in burnout. Folks called it the Covid Crunch, a stifling few months colder than my ex’s heart, Val… You’d think it was time to hang my hat.

Instead, the grandest imaginable wellspring of creativity and passion brought every gang and crew of Rarepair Hell together. A glorious time. This frigid heart might have thawed a little. And in walked her, the dame of my dizziest daydreams, looking like a million bucks and then some… at the center of it all.

Ah, did I have a sharp nose for hot leads. And she was, indeed, a brilliant tack. An ember in the concrete jungle, lighting the way for a celebration from sea shanties to love in all shapes and sizes, across all stretches. I never minded the wayward side of the wind again.

Should invite her to dinner sometime… polish my best dress shoes, order us moon peach pie. I’d get Miss Crooked towers of gold if it weren’t for this thin wallet. Dream on, they say.

Half of this Palooza is just Ray and I writing love letters to each other, though she writes them far more eloquently and creatively than I ever could. Bear with us, Anon. Your message is lovely and we do answer it in full. Eventually.  

crooked:

I was a young lieutenant, sifting through the sands of time and fandom, scouring tumblr for early Zhao content with which to stock my queue. Early days for me, naive of the purity police and the anti-shippers, unknowing even of what OTPs lay within my own heart. All I knew was that I liked villains, and I hungered for what others had to say about them.

And behold, glittering within the muck of expedient promotion jokes and sideburn slander, there she was. A light in the dark, a ray of thoughtfulness and taste, humour and brilliance. This gleaming jewel beckoned, promising riches and wonder if I would but only brave the deep. Like any good archaeologist I dug.   

Truth be told, Anon, Ray and I began our journey as mods of this event as so many do. We stumbled across each other’s content for one reason or another, hit the obligatory Follow button after liking and reblogging so many posts it felt weird not to acknowledge that, and have continued to swim in similar pools as mutuals ever since.  

The Palooza itself came about -- in true fandom fashion -- out of sheer bloody-minded spite. 

It came to our attention earlier this year that, quite out of the blue, a Zhaozai Week was being planned. We were intrigued -- after all, most of the villain shipping community knows each other, and yet most of us were unaware who was behind the event, which added an element of mystery to it all. We were also naturally very excited, only to then discover that the organizers were not serious about the event and in fact had designed it as a mean-spirited exercise with the express purpose of mocking genuine participants. It was, as another esteemed Admiral says, A TRAP. 

The open disapproval that followed was sufficient for the organizers to reconsider and cancel, but the damage had been done, the carrot dangled, and it became clear that a week for Zhaozai was something that many desperately wanted and were disappointed to have been deprived of. Not to mention be made fun of for. 

The notion of hosting a legitimate event started floating around, with Ray and a few others leading the charge, but concrete plans seemed illusive, largely due to complicated schedules, availability, and the fact that not a single one of us had ever run a fandom event before. 

Nevertheless, we persisted. Hot on the heels of the wildly successful @avatar-rare-pair-ship-challenge I had an idea of what a fun event looked like and made further inquiries as to how the organizers navigated things and made that possible. Armed with this precious info I approached those early proponents of the event, and from there planning with Ray began in earnest. If you think how we’re running things now is ambitious, you should have seen some of the initial palooza plans...   

To conclude, Anon, circumstances conspired to create a environment that was ripe for Zhaozai, and like Rohan we answered the call. 

Future paloozas or character/ship weeks would be amazing, and we’re sure that there is just as much of a demand for them. All that such an event needs is someone (or a couple someones) willing to champion it -- and most importantly, who will have fun while doing so. When the dust has settled from this inaugural run, we’d love to hear from you (and anyone else) who might like to turn the Zhaozai Palooza into a noble, annual tradition. 

And fear not. If our time in the archives of the internet has taught us one thing, it’s that somebody somewhere ships it. Or shipped it. Or will ship it. You’re never truly alone that way, and the more you openly love something, the more it seems that others are drawn to and share in that love.      

[ziracona]

If it's ok to ask, do you have any crackships or just ships that are unpopular but have potential

Huh, somehow ‘crackships’ isn’t a word I’ve heard in forever--what a blast from the past. I don’t think I’ve ever had any for dbd. Uhhh, I probably have rarepairs though--I’m not sure they’re /un/popular, as in like, unliked, but I have some that just don’t get much attention. I like Claudette x Quentin / Medics^2 quite a bit. MegSie / SusieMeg is a great ship with almost unlimited potential. I like Quentin with Nancy a lot too, but on second thought I guess that one’s actually kind of popular. I ship Quentin with like, four people, and all of them except QuenDette/Medics^2 is decently popular at least (Nancy, Joey, David). Which is unfair because Medics^2 is god tier. I will die on that hill. Uhhhhhh, let me think. I would have considered Vigojomo / Philip x Vigo a rare ship before two weeks ago, but like, a genuinely /weird/ number of people picked that as favorite Philip ship when they took my quiz--like way more than could possibly be my friends or mutuals. So. Maybe there’s something I don’t know??? That if it still is a rare pair. It’s also god-tier. Mmmmm. I like Laurie-David, which I think is a rarepair. Or at least medium rare (I feel like I’m talking about steaks rip). 

I will never ship a Dwight ship more than I ship Parkfield, but I do feel like Dwight x Adiris has some real potential and kinda dig it, or the three of them as a polyamorous relationship? I also like Parkfield with Adam or Claudette as a trio. And don’t really ever see those. There’s almost unlimited potential here. I think David-Laurie-Kate also has potential as a trio. And Kate-Joey has potential, as does Kate-Joey-Quentin. I like Ace with Tapp, either of them with Jane. Mostly I just feel like a lot of people have potential with a lot of other people, and this fandom really limits itself by not realizing multishipping is the ideal human experience. Like, come on fam. We’re well past considering romance as the peak form of any connection as a species. It’s seethrough that some of you see  that as ‘winning’ or being most special, so you ship your faves and only your exact faves. It’s so much better if you consider people as having wild potential to be happy and well in many different combinations, and none of them are zero-sum games. They’re just...different routes. That can all be meaningful and inclusive and full of love, for whoever ends up friend or romantic partner or wherever, so long as they’re important in other characters’ life. God bless multishippers. I see some of you out there and I want you to know I love you.

Uhhhh, also I like people if they have an established relationship, being allowed to keep it and still enjoyed as a character? Like, I like Nancy-Quentin a lot. Because it’s a good ship. I ship Quentin with other people too, and I have no issue with other people who do. Same with Nancy and Jonathan. Or with Felix and his gf. He’s in a committed relationship, and I like him with his future wife he wants to raise a kid with. I don’t mind people who ship him with someone else. But I do get really side-eyes-harshly when I see characters like that where fans are only capable of being interested in that character if it is in the context of making them sexually available to someone else in the realm. Which isn’t the same thing as just like, shipping them w someone there. But like, if that’s the only way you can enjoy the character and it’s necessary for you to break off an existing connection & throw them into a sexual relationship with someone else in order for them to be in a relationship and thus existing in a context you consider worth caring about/makes them worth caring about? I am judging you very harshly. -- and I guess that’s rare? Nancy-Quentin is decently popular, but I basically never see people reflecting on Nancy and Jonathan, or developing Felix’s long term girlfriend into a full character and exploring that loss and pain? So since those all interest me, maybe that counts?

As far as like, unpopular goes? I think the only ship I’ve ever been into people were like ‘ew’ at was Ace x Adam. Which I still think could be very full of potential, and I’m really mad that that one got shot down over age when Ace x Felix has become a very popular ship, and that’s basically the same age difference. The hypocrisy. >.> (This isn’t a reflection on Felix - Ace as a ship, this is a statement of dislike against the unequal treatment & implicit racism to it.) That’s the only one I can think of offhand though. They’re phenomenal as friends, but they could be cute as romantic partners I think (Ace and Adam). Just all depends on how their lives flow in that timestream. That’s about all I can think of though.

[sybright]

My Favorite Cats Ships

Okie dokie, @whitmerule wanted to know my main ships/pairings and I knew I’d have to make a post dedicated to this at some point so here it is lol (also sorry this is so long). My “main” universe, which is what all of my main pairings are in, is based on the ‘98 film for the most part (although really all of my universes are based on the ‘98 film, just with alterations here and there). 

Edit: My preferences have changed somewhat, so I’ve edited this list to reflect my current feelings towards certain pairings. This means that I’ve deleted some pairings that I don’t like much anymore, and have added some new ones :). All of these ships are in no particular order btw.

Main Pairings:

Tuggoffelees 

-I know it’s super popular and there’s loads of content on them, but I still stan. I don’t love them AS much as I used to, but they were my first ship in this fandom, and therefore are still very important to me. 

Demebombastrap 

-In terms of individual pairings, I really like Demelurina and Bombastrap on their own, but I like them best all together. I used to be quite fond of Demestrap by itself, but I’ve gotten pretty tired of that ship over time personally (obviously nothing against people who like this pairing a lot, kudos to y’all who love Demestrap ^^), so I’m not that big a fan of them on their own anymore. In order of the individual pairings I like best: Demelurina first, Bombastrap second, and Demestrap not so much.

Skimblegus (Skimbleshanks/Asparagus Jr., NOT Gus the theatre cat, I see the two of them as separate characters in most productions).

Jellydots (Sweet lesbian grandmas <3).

Tumblejem 

-This is my self-projection asexual pairing, leave me alone lol. They give me bestie vibes and I love that for them <3.  

Platoriateazer 

-This is a bit of a rarepair, but it is one of my main ships, I see Teazer and Plato as platonic partners and Tori as their mutual gf. Alternatively, I like Victeazer and Platoria on their own as well, although I like Victeazer a bit more than Platoria, but I prefer them all together.

And that’s about it for my “main” pairings, here’s a list of my alternate pairings/rarepairs that I love too much for my own good.

Alternate Pairings/Rarepairs:

Demandra 

-No longer my main blog’s url, but they have their own blog now and therefore are still ridiculously important to me XD. This is my fave rarepair, and might also be even MORE of a self-projection asexual pairing for me than they were before. I’ll say it once, this is my ultimate comfort pairing. 

Plonzostrap (Plato/Alonzo/Munkustrap, alternatively, I like Alonzostrap and Plonzo on their own as well, although I haven’t put that much thought into Munklato on its own).

Platoricopat (Cats Zurich got me obsessed with this concept, and @whitmerule’s gifs are are just *chef’s kiss*).

George/Etcetera/Electra 

-I don’t really have a ship name for this, and also this particular pairing is very complicated and I’ll try to explain it as best I can. George and Etcetera are romantic partners, Etcetera and Electra are queer-platonic partners (I see Electra as aromantic), and George and Electra are platonic partners. This is technically a main pairing for me, but it’s sort of rare and complicated in its dynamics so I put it down here. Also, I adopted the hc that George is a Pollicle btw.

Oh and just as an aside, I also really like Elecctera and Etceorge on their own, but I probably slightly prefer Elecctera, I just love the queer-platonic besties vibes of them <3. 

Mungocavity (This is in a scenario where Macavity is less evil and more of a dumbass, but I really like this pairing. It would be one of my main pairings if my main universe Macavity wasn’t complete shit).  

Jemtoria

-One of my newer ships, I usually see Tori and Jem as being somewhat far apart in age, so this is in a scenario where Jem’s a bit aged up and Tori’s a bit aged down. I love everything about this pairing. Considering how much Jem and Tori interact with each other in the show, this ship has so much potential to me. They’re just so soft and they make me really happy <3. 

Tuggoffeleteazer

-Once upon time I didn’t think I’d ever ship Tugger or Misto with really anyone but each other, but times change. Initially, I got very interested in the idea of Rumpletugger (which I still quite like on it’s own), but then later became intrigued by the idea of Mistoteazer (and all the shenanigans they’d get up to, both being mischievous and chaotic), so of course this led to me just putting all three of them together XD. I love this trio so much, they just give “bestie vibes ONLY” type of energy, and feel like a super chaotic friend group, and that makes me really happy. 

Bombbella

-I’m not even sure how to explain what led me to becoming so attached to this ship XD. I had seen people mention it being a neat concept in passing, but I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who actually truly ships them. I basically got into this ship through my “Jellicle leader Griz” au thing, which is an au where Griz is the oldest of Deuteronomy’s children and was expected to become the next Jellicle leader. She’s much younger in this au than how I typically see her, so the newer Griz design fits well in this scenario. I just got really into the idea of Griz and Bomba being tragic ex-lovers. 

They dated for a long time in their teens, broke up for a few years, and then got back together again when they had matured, and then Griz went and abandoned the tribe (as well as Bomba) to see the world and pursue her dream of being a star. Griz returned eventually, but the damage had been done, and Bomba was far from ready to forgive her. In the end though, she does forgive Griz, as does everyone else, but then Griz goes on to be reborn, and they miss their chance at happily being together. It’s just all in all a really fun concept for me to play around with, and has so much angst potential. 

Jellycass

-Not a new ship, quite the opposite actually. This is a ship that I usually don’t think much about (hence why it wasn’t here when I first made this list), but whenever I do, I always feel at peace inside lol. I can’t for the life of me find the post that got me into this ship (trust me, I have searched ALL over tumblr for it, I looked through both Jellylorum’s and Cassandra’s ENTIRE tags and still couldn’t find it), but I saw a post when I was first getting into the Cats fandom that talked about how Jelly and Cass would be this sort of “odd couple” that the tribe didn’t really understand, but clicked super well with each other for some reason. 

Even though I only ever saw that one post on them for a long time, I grew really attached to the ideas it presented for Jellycass. I like the age gap concept in particular, with my personal idea of it being Cass in her late twenties to early thirties, and Jelly being in her late thirties to early forties. It really heightens the “odd couple” energy of them, and I can see Cass getting along really well with someone older. Troika provides me all the rights for this ship <3. 

Some Extra Stuff:

Even though I like Platoria as an individual ship, and ship them to a degree, I’m not super interested in them. They’re a bit bland for me if I’m being honest. I like seeing them on my dash, but I won’t actively seek out content of them, so please don’t tag me in stuff surrounding them if you don’t mind (obviously this doesn’t apply to their poly equivalent). I used to include Demestrap in this section, but now I’m really not all that fond of them, I really only like them together in a poly scenario, like Demebombastrap or even Demelonzostrap. 

There’s a bunch of ships that I categorize as “I like it, but I don’t ship it,” and that’s where ships like Munkujerrie and Alonzoffelees fall. They’re ships that I enjoy as concepts, and that I would probably read fanfic about if given the opportunity (and like fanart of), but I don’t necessarily ship them. So you don’t need to tag me for them. 

The only ships that I just straight up don’t like, although I have nothing against people who like them, are Tuggerlurina, Mistoria, Skimbledots, and Jellygus, Tuggerlurina being the one I dislike the most. I just scroll past content of them if I see it on my dash, I thought I should probably list them here cause idk, might be useful to @whitmerule to know which ships I really don’t like. 

Note: I don’t see any of the characters I listed here as being biologically related, some people hc Deme and Bomba as sisters, or Etcetera and Electra as being twins, I don’t see this personally (In fact I have a whole bunch of family hcs that I’ll probably save for another post, if anyone even wants to read that lol). 

And now for my favorite 2019 movie pairings (which I also don’t see any of them as being biologically related), because they’re sort of relevant since I’m listing pairings and stuff so I feel like putting them here too:

2019 Movie Main Pairings

Mistoriastraps 

-This is the ONLY scenario where I like Misto and Tori together. I only like it when it’s in the 2019 movie, and only if it’s with Munk, those are my two requirements lol. I think Munktoria and Munkoffelees are really cute too, but I don’t care for them that much, I like them best all together.

Demandra (I see their relationship very differently in the movie, and I prefer their stage-show relationship, but as always, I love them). 

Tantojerrie 

-I know they don’t really interact in the movie, but I saw people talking about them as a ship on here, and I just think they’d be really cute. Technically Tanto is implied to be kitten age in the movie, but I imagine this as a post-movie, next Jellicle Ball type scenario. I see Tanto as being on the cusp of adulthood, where she’ll probably be an adult at the next Jellicle Ball, and I see Jerrie as being a very young adult, so they’re not far apart in my mind (plus I see Jellicles, being cats and all, aging differently than humans, so this isn’t as odd to me as it might be to other people).

2019 Movie Alternate Pairings:

These are just my alternate pairings for Misto, Tori, and Munk if Mistoriastraps doesn’t happen lol:

Tuggoffelees

-I’ve adopted the hc that they’re ex-boyfriends in the 2019 movie, and I like to imagine that they’ve sorted things out post-movie and got back together.

Victeazer

Skimblestrap

That’s about it for my ships. Thank you for reading if you got this far lol. 

[jujywrites]

Always Falling Down, part I

This was part of a rarepair gift exchange. mricj and I got matched because sometimes u CAN manifest what u want for urself~~~

This is Rosawatts for sure, but also very poly, very id-ficcy and very long (just under 7k....). with a small part 2 pending because WE BUILT THIS SHIP WE SAIL IT HOWEVER WE WANT oh and a playlist (click plz~)

PS: the plotbunny emerged from "i thought you (loved me)" by livj707. One of my top 10 TTM fics and the rest of them are in there too!

AO3

FF.net

or keep reading

(Part II here)

~~~~~

~We hold on to the good times and the right now and the long nights~

Can you hear when I say "I have never felt this way"? (I can't see you and me and her without each other)

Roxie

You were 8 or 9 when you realized that you responded to people’s emotions in an unusual way. Your mom’s anger made you feel like there was a small fire in your belly, no matter the amount or what the anger was directed at. Her joy when hummingbirds visited the garden you both made to attract them made you feel invincible. When she felt sad, everything looked gray.

So what, you thought. She was your mother; of course you’d be attuned to her mood. The same with the rest of your family. But there was a slight wrinkle in that logic— you sensed the emotions of your friends at school, and that affected you similarly, if with less intensity.

Soon after realizing that, though, came the realization that even friends of friends, even complete strangers, had emotional signals that you picked up without trying. You brought this up with one of your dad’s sisters (one of your favorite family members, were you ever pressed to admit it), because you couldn’t quite stomach having your mom worry about you. You were pretty sure what happened to you wasn’t normal.

Your aunt introduced you to the term empath, said her wife had the same ability that you did. She taught you ways to handle the side effects (as she put it), how to channel and control it, to some extent. Even with this, though, things got more complicated as you grew older. People’s emotions got louder.

The maelstrom this caused in you was nigh unbearable and (luckily?) manifested itself as stereotypical moody teenage behavior, when you weren’t wrestling with the attendant physical ailments. That led you to what’s turned out to be a lifelong interest in astronomy and stargazing. Or more accurately, it increased your at-the-time budding interest exponentially. Others’ emotions couldn’t sink their hooks into you, not when your mind was buried in a book or when you were alone outside on a clear warm night. Stargazing served as meditation, too, and slowly you gained a better grasp on this whole empath thing.

That was how you met Neil. He lived in another school district; somehow both of you claimed a little park in town as a prime stargazing spot. He said his gramps took him gazing every summer, and Neil found he wanted to do it more often than that. You didn’t know much about him besides that and some shows and video games he was into, but that was hardly a deterrent to your talking a blue streak in the rare times when both of you were done watching the sky. You talked about your hobbies, how school went, how your little brother was doing, what music you were obsessing over. You told him everything except your biggest secret, and even though he didn’t always acknowledge it all, you could feel he took it all in. He was the first person who had ever done that.

Then he moved away with hardly a goodbye, and that was that. You remember feeling hurt and sad for longer than a day, maybe a week or two, but time has worn away the memories of how you felt. College, of course, was the next big chapter in your life, when your present-day reputation for being bubbly and carefree developed. That had always been with you; college life simply made you turn it up to eleven, a coping mechanism of sorts in navigating the world as an empath.

Strange how the peace you found back then has led you right back to that feelings maelstrom, into the difficulty of parsing what belongs to you and what doesn’t.

You didn’t see Neil until you got to SigCorp, at which point all the moments he was in your periphery during training slapped you across the face, along with hazy childhood memories.

“You’re Roxie, right?”

And all the years without him collapsed together. Maybe you didn’t see much of each other, but your friendship still easily restarted, helped along by your shared sphere of work.

You’d say he’s your best friend, if you were asked.

Meeting Eva was a different kind of slap.

You could count the number of crushes you had on one hand, your relationships on six fingers. You hadn’t felt love yet.

You fell fast and hard for Eva. Then you got back up, and cut that off quicker than breathing, because no way would someone as cool, collected and straight-laced as her would ever be interested in you. (Plus, you had no idea if she was queer and that’s not something to ask someone you just met.)

And then there was Neil.

The two of them had capital-h History, obvious from the moment you saw them together. If anyone knew how much time you spend thinking about your friends’ relationship, the effort you put into trying to push them together, how much time recently you’ve invested in worry (especially over Eva, but Neil too) you’d get therapist recommendations at the very least—

It’s not just wishful thinking. Your empathy gives you a sixth sense as to which people are meant for each other, and/or are dealing with feelings towards each other (which also gave you a leg up in office gossip). And Neil and Eva fit so well; that’s why they were paired together, why you convinced Rob they should be a team, despite how much you liked working with her. Not that he needed convincing. That’s how obvious their compatibility was. And yes, this was despite their bickering (and Neil’s pranks on his partner).

What drew you to Rob, as a colleague and as a person, and helped you decide to permanently partner with him, is how quiet his emotions are. He’s hardly unfeeling, despite what others (like Neil) might say. No, it’s just that his emotions are blissfully subtle. Sometimes when you feel them flare up it’s like a gift.

His emotions toward you aren’t subtle, not these days. And sometimes you feel terrible for relying on him as much as you do. But that’s another thing.

Eva

The cases that go wrong from the beginning are always easier on you than the ones that go wrong when you’re so close to closing them out. Talking to loved ones afterwards is the common denominator, the same intensity of pain no matter what went wrong when. But you’ve grown used to that pain, used to letting it glance off your skin because this is your job, and perfection is impossible.

You thought you had, anyway. The case you failed barely twenty minutes ago, the one from which you’re walking to the car with Neil now, found a chink in your armor. A stupid rookie-level mistake that both of you believed you’d fixed came back to bite you; you almost didn’t log out of the machine before your client flatlined. You owned up to it, the client’s brother took a swing at Neil and tried at you, and the only reason you’re both out of there alive is the brother’s wife calming him down.

There’s still paperwork to finish. You did the bare minimum before getting the hell away from that place. And Neil has one whopper of a black eye that he’s too bullheaded to do anything about, because he had a spare pair of glasses and that makes everything just fine.

In the car, the practically-visible wall between you and Neil is even more unbearable given the post-case mood, and it makes you feel sick. This is far from the first case you’ve failed, with or without him. Hell, it’s not even the first case involving bodily harm directed at either of you. It still feels like the last straw. But you’re not going to quit, you tell yourself. Someone has to keep fighting.

Neil may have stopped trying, but there’s nothing stopping you from fighting enough for you both.

Robert

For the most part, you’re an analytical person. You’re able to compartmentalize your thoughts from your emotions, and often able to see past others' emotions to what might be eliciting them. And that’s why your work at Sigmund fits you so well, why you chose memory traversal over being a tech, as much as machines in general and Sigmund’s in specific interest you.

Your personality and Roxie’s make you an excellent team. Even though her default mode is happy-go-lucky, you’ve been partners long enough to know that she’s the kind of person who can feel everything, all at once, and weather it. That talent must have always been there, under the surface; it’s probably what drew you to her in the first place.

Being able to compartmentalize, however, only gets you so far. You’re hardly immune to base emotions, yours or others’. You get frustrated when you know something is wrong, someone’s having a problem, and that your clear-headed distance from the situation isn’t helping fix it.

Watts and Rosalene, one of your best teams, one of the best you’ve ever seen since you joined Sigmund, have been backsliding for some time. Their ratio of completed cases to failed ones is still good (and they’ve had some brilliant successes), but their previous case was a failure and the mood leading up to their next one is not promising, to say the least. They’ve had innumerable rough patches, no question, but even you can tell there’s a good bit of the personal getting muddled with the professional in this patch. You’re in the unenviable position of having to monitor them, getting closer to explaining to the higher-ups why they are still viable.

Viable. What a cold word. Makes you clammy to think of it in reference to your colleagues. Your almost-friends. It’s... bothersome, to see them fracturing, or whatever less-ominous thing might be happening.

On top of that, there’s something off about Roxie. A dimming of her natural light. The only other time that’s happened is when her brother got sick; he’d been in dire straits before he recovered, and the recovery had been hard.

You know this because Roxie told you. You seem to be good at listening. If only you weren’t abysmal at asking. Not that Watts— Neil— would divulge anything, and Rosalene— Eva— seems even less likely to.

You’d ask Roxie but with her, you’re terrified of not knowing what to say.

Neil

You could’ve decked that guy. Definitely could have. For once it isn’t braggadocio— the things he said about you and Eva made you see red. He telegraphed really badly too, so you could sidestep him (he was like two feet taller than you and you aren’t a total idiot), but taking a swing at Eva?! Good thing the guy’s wife stepped in or things would’ve gotten even more fucked. Because of you and for you.

Of course, with the adrenaline gone, your mutual antisocial...ness, toward each other (what? You can’t word when you’re tired) rushes in to fill the vacuum. It’s frigid out too, which is great. And your face kind of—

“Ah, fuck me,” you mutter as your piece-of-crap company car decides to break down in the middle of an empty road.

Eva sighs epically. Her breath clouds. “Shit.”

Ha, she legit swore.

Your momentary amusement is bulldozed by the inconvenient need to talk. The second you’re alone alone with her, in lulls before or after cases, in downtime at the office, the words bubble up in your throat, more insistent every time. And every time you try to open your mouth, they disappear. It’s been like this for weeks, ever since The Incident.

She found the not-from-Sigmund company letter. She found the (other) pills. Unlocked door or not, you haven’t forgiven her for the breach of privacy. She hasn’t forgiven you for keeping (those kinds of) secrets from her. And here you are now.

You don’t know how much more you can take.

Eva speaks before you can get your voice working. “I’m calling Roxie.”

“How?” Flipping open your phone, you glare at it. “No reception out here.”

“We passed a payphone on the way here. Shouldn’t be more than a 5 minute walk.”

You just gape at her while she bundles up in her scarf and hood. “It’s minus fifty!”

Her eyes meet yours for half a second. “Don’t exaggerate, Neil. Not tonight.”

And, predictably useless, you watch her get out of the car and start walking, snowflakes shining around her in the dimming headlights.

Roxie

One of the things about being an empath is, it’s easier to tell when someone’s romantically interested in you. (Too bad there’s no one-night-stand-interest sensor.) That feeling has a certain color to it, distinguishing it from friendship or dislike. And it’s the reason why you haven’t dated much. Every time you’ve felt it, it’s been like a flipped switch, a lightning bolt, leaving you unprepared and uncomfortable every time. Sometimes it’s been because you don’t return their feelings, sometimes because you need a few days to adjust to the idea. Even with one of the ones you liked back (a post-college roommate, because you may be an empath but that doesn’t exempt you from so-called clichés), it petered out eventually when you didn’t fit together anymore.

With Rob, it’s different. So subtle you don’t realize right away. And so soft it’s easy to lean into and pretend you don’t quite know how he feels, keep your already intimate friendship separate from that other kind of intimacy.

You like him. Want to like him as more than a friend, the way he likes you. If you could only let go of your ridiculous double crush.

There’s only so much room a heart should have, anyway.

Eva

The incongruity of using payphones hits whenever you have to use one, which thankfully is extremely rare. You’ve learned the hard way to keep a small stash of quarters within easy reach on cases, whether they’re located in the boonies or not. Even with gloves on, your hands are so cold that there’s a lot of fumbling involved in getting them into the machine, more fumbling while you pull up Roxie’s contact info on your phone. Not that you need to; you’ve got it memorized. She’s picked you up more than once.

It hits you square between the eyes this time, so you can’t ignore it: Roxie’s been like emotional glue, from back when you were a greenhorn changing partners every couple of weeks to now. She was the constant for you back then, and then became your tech specialist for a hefty amount of cases until you got paired with Neil. She’s patched things up several times when you wanted to strangle him, by talking you down, or being a mediator, or just listening to you rant. And since tonight is turning into one giant negative thought spiral, you get stuck on how much emotional support you’ve taken from her without giving anything back, alike or different. After this, well, you have to come up with something. A restaurant gift card? Ice cream from that new place down the road from yours? Why is food the only thing you can think of? True, food has meaning, but you sh—

“Hello?”

“Roxie. It’s me. Eva.”

“Hey! What’s up?”

“Hope I didn’t wake you,” you say on automatic. Nope, she’s probably—

“Nah, binging a few Shadow Junction episodes before hitting the hay,” she replies with a giggle.

Over this line, the brief silence is crackly. “I need a favor. Our car died on us…”

“Oh my god wait, you just finished a case!” There’s some scuffling and a small thump; when she speaks again her voice is closer. She must have taken you off speaker. “Where are you? I’ll pick you up ASAP.”

You give her a handful of landmarks, the compass direction. With the dark, the gathering snow, your barely-held-back exhaustion, you're starting to think you might be back in the simulation.

Your hands hurt. At least they still have feeling.

“There’s a storm coming, isn't there? Are you okay?”

“Tired. Cold. But, yeah, okay.”

“Hey, Eva?” Hearing your name wakes you up a little; the weight in Roxie’s tone wakes you up more. “I’ll call a tow for you on the way, but do me a favor and don’t hang up.”

“Sure,” you whisper.

She chatters about the latest plot developments on Shadow Junction for a few minutes; you feel like you're absorbing some of the energy in her voice. Then she says, “I’m getting on the highway now,” and then she says, slightly more subdued, “Do you want to tell me about your case?”

Nope. “It went badly, that’s all.”

More crackly silence. Then: “I know I’m repeating myself, Eva, but… are you okay?”

I’m fine.

I’ll be fine when I’m back home.

I’m used to this. It’s fine.

You say, “I think I’m losing Neil.”

The metal of the phone booth bites into your hand even through the glove. “I… found some things I shouldn’t have.” Roxie can keep secrets, contrary to her reputation. This one shouldn’t be her burden, and so you don’t share what you found. “He’s been conflicted about what we do for a while. I think he might be trying to leave Sigmund. And that’s his prerogative, but I just—”

You trained together, joined Sigmund together, starting planning to join Sigmund together. It’s been an enormous part of both your lives, and now you’ve been a team almost as long as your dream to be a part of this company existed. If Neil walks away, what will you have left?

Roxie. Robert. The McMillans. Eddie, Lisa, Logan. You won’t be alone, and you still have your purpose to guide you. But...

You were so certain you’d see that purpose through with Neil at your side, you don’t see how it would possibly be the same. How you could be the same. Sure puts a dent in your faith that you’re your own person.

You can’t simply ask him to stay. Some small irrational part of your brain thinks bringing up the subject at all will make it come to pass. And those pills. If he does leave, if Sigmund is part of his will too, what if—

You wipe at your wet cheeks and nose. “He’s my partner. I need to fix this, and I don’t— I don’t fucking know how.”

Your voice doesn’t sound nearly as broken as you feel.

Robert

It’s another night of Roxie on your couch, eating takeout from your favorite place and watching a movie together. Neither of you have defined your relationship. You’re fine with that, and you think she is too. And yet...

“Roxanne, I—” You love her, have for a long time now. But you’ve seen how she looks at Eva, and at Neil, and you know she doesn’t have room for you right now, don’t know if she ever will.

You had a chance. You realized your feelings for her well before she fell in love with them (or at least before she began to show signs). The obstacles were too many: she’s half your age, you work together but are sort-of kind-of boss and subordinate. All true. All excuses, too, because you weren’t brave (stupid) enough to take that chance.

But she’s come to you for comfort, and you aren’t an asshole; you won’t deny her that because she has a different measure of your relationship. You love her. You would care for her even without that.

Then she kisses you, and she says, “I’m sorry,” and curls up against you.

Roxie

You’re making a mistake, and you don’t care.

You needed that kiss. It soothed these pangs, this hollowness that’s grown over the past few weeks from whatever is going on between Eva and Neil. And the way Rob’s emotions have started to swirl feels dangerous. Addictive. You want more of that, the power to make his emotions dance with one touch.

It’s getting harder to ignore the voice calling you an awful person.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble into his chest. “I know, in every rule book ever made, that I’m leading you on. But I’m not trying to! I’m so sorry. I…” You swallow, sudden clarity hurting your throat. “I think I want to be with you. But, Neil and Eva…”

Saying their names brings fog back over you, reddened by wine. “I can’t explain it,” you whisper, arms around his shoulders. “I can’t... decide.”

You can’t give Rob what he deserves, what you finally know you want to give him, if you can’t make your mind up.

“We’ll figure it out.”

Despite the uncertainty you can practically taste, it feels like a promise. He holds you tighter, and you let yourself sink into him.

Neil

You’re tired, exhausted, and that makes your brain go all overdramatic, but even with that you’re pretty sure this is the shittiest night of your life. You can’t talk to Eva, and she won’t talk to you, and now you’re stuck in the middle of nowhere trying not to freeze to death, watching her freeze to death while she waits for Roxie to rescue both of you from freezing to death. The least you could do is stand by Eva and suffer with her. Then again, maybe she’d rather turn into an Evasicle in peace right now.

You resent how much this case haunts you. You resent even more your inability to walk away from Sigmund and from Eva. They wouldn’t care, but she (probably) would. Does. You wish that didn’t matter so much to you. It shouldn’t anymore, after what she did. The one time you don’t lock your office door. Like a goddamn house of cards. If she’d told you right after instead of sitting on it for a few days, making you wonder what the hell was wrong with her…

You’re such a hypocrite, with all the secrets you’ve kept and keep.

Everything feels gray. Heavy. Tunnel vision, maybe, from the cold and your lack of sleep. Stepping out into the wind chill would probably help you stay awake at this point, except you’re not so far gone as to actually follow through on that.

Eva’s left the phone booth and is standing in the snow, hood blown off from the wind, and she’s too bullheaded to pull it back up. You stare at her hair streaming out, your eyes grow blurry from snowflakes, and your thoughts drift back to distant nights spent with a talkative girl who shared your love of stars.

Roxie

You’re up late at home, watching the Shadow Junction episodes in your queue, when Eva calls you, voice tinny over a payphone. You can’t sense emotions tangibly without being in person, but her and Neil’s voices have a similar effect on you regardless, by now.

You talk with her until you’re on the road.

Something’s wrong besides their dead car, and Eva reveals the tip of the iceberg. You’re relieved. Your instinct hasn’t yet devolved into paranoia.

“He’s my partner. I need to fix this, and I don’t— I don’t fucking know how.”

The turnoff to where they are is coming up. “I can’t imagine how that must feel,” you say into your head mic. A white (gray?) lie. Her pain is making it hard for you to breathe. “But I’m getting you back to the office, and we’ll go from there. One step at a time. Okay?”

“Yeah. Okay.”

You call the tow place as soon as you end her call. After that, things blur together until your car meets theirs.

The snow hasn’t stuck; it’s the light, fluffy kind that would be nice in another time and place. You can see Eva and Neil hunkered down in their seats.

You can’t get out of your car fast enough.

Eva’s first to get out once you reach them. She hugs you, and, yeah, you could probably die happy now. You’re such a mess.

“Thank god for you, Rox. Seriously.”

You’re such a mess. Neil’s relief nearly makes your knees crumple with its warmth, but there are... layers to it. Those layers and the ever-present knot of worry in your stomach keep you alert. Besides, it’s not (won’t ever be) the time or place to let them know everything you’re feeling. So you smile past your shivers and wave off his comment. “No problem. Of course I’ll bail you guys out of this weather!” Then you force your offer of a ride back out of lungs tightened with the fear that they’ll know what lies behind it. “Brought you some cider. Blankets too. To thaw you out for the paperwork, y’know.”

They accept. Of course they do; they don’t have a choice. If either of them suspect anything they aren’t showing it and dear god you are so overthinking this. “Tow truck should be here any minute, if you don’t mind waiting a bit longer.”

“You have heat in your car. That’s all I care about,” says Neil, and Eva says, “A few minutes more doesn’t matter.”

Then she puts her hand on his elbow as they walk the short way to your car, and all your stupid mushy probably-touch-starved brain can think is, there’s hope.

They settle in the back instead of splitting up over the passenger seat, and dumb hope unfurls further in your chest. You waste no time in unfolding blankets and handing them each a thermos. Eva acknowledges with a grateful smile, and you pretend not to notice how Neil flinches when you drape the blanket over him. You ignore the flashing burn when your hands meet their bodies, ignore how fast your heart is beating.

You have a plan, even though it’s a selfish one.

Eva

Roxie still believes her bright shiny mask is impenetrable, but you know her better than she thinks you do; something is worrying her. A lot. And here she is, practically saving both of your lives, and trying to hide it so you don’t feel any worse—

You’re faced with the sudden urge to kiss her.

She’s been a shoulder to lean on, a friend, a good friend. Why did this feeling burst through now? Did the weight of what you and Neil failed to do, the weight of what you know and what he’s not telling you, crack and cause this shift?

(What would she think if you tried?)

You push the urge away, but feel it beaming through when you take your first sip of cider.

Maybe in another life.

Robert

Roxie’s on the verge of breaking, and you can’t do one thing to help.

She stands by you, thermos in hand, while she waits for Eva and Neil to tie up some legalities and gather what they need. At this hour, the offices are silent to the point of suffocation. Having these three around is reminiscent of oxygen. Even so:

"I was really scared, you know?" she says, smiling, eyes painfully bright. "All I knew was I had to get them. So I did. They’ve been dealing with something tough and I couldn't ask them even though I wanted to and they were nearly hypothermic, Rob!" The noise that comes out of her is a shrill mockery of laughter. "So after they're done here, we're going back to my place. All of us. I don't want them to sleep alone. I'll hogtie Neil if I have to, I swear to god.”

There’s nothing you can say, so you just nod. And then you realize: there is something you can do.

You want Roxie to yourself, of course; most one-sided relationships are likely that selfish. You want her to be happy even more than that. So you excuse yourself to the bathroom, and then double back to the offices and poke through Eva’s ajar door, knocking on the jamb.

They’re both in there, which makes it easier for you. Neil’s already got a file folder stuffed with papers in his arms (which he nearly drops upon seeing you). You also notice the overnight bag next to him, and that Eva’s looking over hers.

(Of course. The weekend’s coming up. You should get your bag too.) That’ll make it easier for Roxie.

You’re also worried about them, so this isn’t only for Roxie’s sake. Eva looks like a shell of herself, and Neil’s posture seems to indicate he’s in pain.

“What’s up, Bob?” Neil plops the file folder into his bag. “We taking too long or something?”

You shake your head. “Take the time you need. I heard from Roxie tonight’s case didn't end well, so I thought I should check in.”

“We’re as all right as we can be,” Eva says, zipping up her bag. “And anyway, we’re done here.”

She stops when you don’t move from the doorway.

“She’s really worried about you two. I don’t know any details, but… go easy on her. She means well even when she’s overbearing.”

You turn and head back to the lobby, feeling overheated.

Neil

Roxie seems like a supernova in the frozen night (and if you weren’t half-frozen you'd be slapping yourself for your dumb metaphorical thoughts), and that light is enough, combined with Eva’s presence, to propel you into Roxie’s car.

You flinch because, somehow, her brief touch feels like it unlocks all your secrets. Ridiculous, because Eva got there first and you really hardly know Roxie.

The paperwork is second nature. You and Eva go to your respective offices; you squint as if that’ll make your handwriting look any less blurry (okay, guess your glasses need cleaning); at the last second you grab your overnight bag, and instead of heading back to the lobby you gravitate to Eva’s office and stand there like a dumbass while she finishes up.

You thump your bag on the floor. “Hey.”

“Hey,” she says without turning around.

You busy yourself with organizing your papers. But every so often you glance at her, and when you see she’s going through her overnight bag the urge to ask if she wants to stay at your place, or if you can stay at hers, is overpowering. Don’t ask, don’t— “Do you—”

There’s a knock, and of all people Rob’s standing there, as if tonight isn’t freaky enough. Still. Saved by the Bobert bell.

What he says, along with the sheer incongruity of his presence, knocks you out of your numbness for a few minutes. “Jeez,” you say once he leaves as fast as he came by, “he’s really got it bad for her, doesn’t he?”

A barely-heard whisper in your mind hisses, You should know.

She’s wearing an indecipherable expression. “I suppose so.”

It all makes slightly more sense when you get back to the lobby. Before you or Eva can open your mouths, Roxie’s talking.

“It’s been a really bad night for you two. I’ve been there, you don’t have to tell me anything, and... I won’t ask. But I’ve got a spare room and a couch at my place and you should take advantage of that for the night. I’ve already convinced Rob, and I won’t bother any of you, a-a-and I really think it’s for the best so, so please…”

As exposed as you’re feeling, you can see the appeal of staying at her place. It’s closer than yours, and yeah, okay, your brain cannot handle the logistics of dropping off and heading home. Besides, it’s pretty uncomfortable how upset she seems (even if it’s just about her sinking ship, har), and if this makes her feel better, well. You don’t know what’s going on, feel like you haven’t for hours, but you’re with people you know and who know you, even though they don’t know everything. There’s something to be said for having friends in the same line of work.

This rift between you and Eva hurts far more than you can admit to yourself, never mind anyone else. And even though Roxanne and Rob have no idea what’s happened, happening, between you two, them being with you feels like a bulwark holding back any further damage.

Maybe they might even help fix what’s broken.

Roxie could, maybesomehowsomeway. She seems like that kind of person, the kind who wants to fix people’s issues and is good at it, though who the hell knows where you got that impression. She’s standing closer, an arm’s length— a fact you only realize when she reaches up and takes off your glasses.

Roxie

You didn’t notice how close you’d gotten to Neil and Eva while you were talking, or that you’d been moving at all, until a shadow near Neil’s eyebrow catches your attention. At that instant, your accidental proximity doesn’t matter. Your heart stops for a split second. “Neil, your eye!”

“What about my—”

You remove his glasses. Eva gasps, like it’s A Bad Thing you just did (and okay, you can’t remember ever seeing his eyes before), and you can even sense Rob standing protectively close behind you. “Holy schnikes, Neil!” His right eye is nearly swollen shut, the bruise radiating nearly to his temple on that side and nearly across his nose on the other. “What happened?”

A tidal wave of guilt from Eva makes the room wobble, but Rob catches you.

“Sorry, more tired than I thought,” you say to their combined are you okays. Your nervous smile lands on Rob, who doesn’t look convinced. Still, he helps you upright silently.

Neil squints at you with his good eye. “What do you mean ‘what happened?’”

How can he not know? “It’s totally black??” You look from Neil to Eva and back, panic surfacing slowly. “It’s barely open??? Doesn’t it hurt?????”

Eva sighs, pulls a hand mirror from her bag, and holds it in front of him.

A pause.

“Huh,” he finally says. “Guess that explains why it’s a little harder to see.”

“Our client’s brother punched him.” Eva rubs at the bridge of her nose.

“He did not—”

“He said he was fine, but I thought he was just shrugging it off. I didn’t know he didn’t know! Don’t you remember your glasses broke?”

“He was huge! I dodged him easy! I…” Neil digs through his pockets indignantly for a few moments, then stops. “I don’t have my spare pair. Which… means that those…”

“Are your spare pair,” you finish gently, handing them back to him. “Neil, I think you might have a concussion.”

“Well, shit,” he says, at the same time Eva says, “That’s what I’m worried about.”

“That settles it.” You step back a couple paces, reluctantly. “You’re definitely coming back with me. I have ice and I have some bruise cream that’s pure magic, I swear.”

Neil huffs. “I already said I would.”

“You only thought it because I didn’t hear you.” You eke out a grin. “I’m not a mind-reader, you know!”

“Okay, well, this is my official yes let’s crash at your pad agreement.”

“Heard and acknowledged!”

Putting her bag over her shoulder, Eva says, “Then let’s go,” and leads the way to the elevators.

She and Neil take the backseat again, leaving Rob to sit in the passenger seat. Now that you’ve executed your plan, you seem to have lost whatever energy you had left.

The silence that falls, though, feels comforting instead of stifling.

~~~

The first step through your front door pulls a deep sigh out of you. Rob, Eva, and Neil’s various flavors of tension decrease slightly.

“I’m just gonna… stop for a minute.” So saying, Neil plops onto the floor in front of your stupid-huge couch.

“Sit wherever you like,” you say as you go to the kitchen for an ice pack.

You’re glad you turned the room into something slightly more presentable, even when you weren’t expecting three people to come by— cleaned up junky desserts from the coffee table, put pillows back, et cetera. You wrap a hand towel around the ice pack and bring it back to Neil, telling him to use light pressure. “I’ll go get the supplies.”

As soon as you flick on your bathroom light and see yourself in the mirror, your throat tightens with the need to cry. A few gasping sobs come out of you but, “Okay okay okay,” you whimper, clutching the sink rim, they’re here, you got them, you’ve made them safe now. “Get it together. Snap the hell out of it. You’ve got a job to do.”

You gather everything you think you need and then go back over it: disposable gloves, the arnica bruise cream, antiseptic wipes, washcloth, cup of warm water, 8-hour painkiller/swelling reducer. Then you splash off and dry your face, finagle all of it into your arms, and get back out there.

Neil’s made it onto your couch, probably because Eva’s sitting there now. She’s on his left. There’s space for you between them.

You’re friends. Colleagues. You’ve all been through highs and lows working at Sigmund, in parallel with each other. They can’t read your mind.

You unload your supplies onto the coffee table and take the seat.

Eva lets out a breath.

“Sorry for grabbing your glasses,” you say to Neil as you put on the gloves.

“Eh. Extenuating circumstances.” He shrugs. Takes them off. “‘Kay, do your worst.”

“I’ll be as careful as I can. First, these.” You hold up the wipe pack. “Your skin’s not broken so it shouldn’t sting, but I’ll make sure any excess is gone anyway. Oh—” You grab the pain pills. “Take these first, actually. I can get you water.”

“I have my own… water,” he mumbles, digging through his bag and retrieving a bottle. “Thanks.”

Once he’s taken the pills, you run the wipe all around the bruise, holding your breath while you dab at his closed eye. “Don’t move.” You wet the washcloth then and apply that, making sure no residue stays to get into his eye. That would suck.

“Okay, move if you need to. Magic cream’s the last thing!” You hold it up with a flourish. “Never had to use it on something this, uh,” you fumble for the word, “extensive, but I promise it’ll help.”

“Who died and made you Florence Nightingale?” he said with a chuckle.

You pause in the middle of daubing cream on your finger. “Who?”

“It’s an old reference. Really old. Like, my gramps knew the history, that’s how old.”

“Early 20th century nurse, I believe,” Rob says in a musing tone. “Founded the profession.”

“You’re almost as old as him, so you don’t count.”

“She opened the first nursing school, too,” says Eva.

“And you’re a nerd so you also don’t count.”

“She sounds pretty cool,” you say quietly; you’re close to Neil’s face again, applying the cream from the outside of the bruise in. “Glad someone’s remembering her, still.”

You don’t even notice the silence fall, you’re concentrating so hard.

Neil holds his breath this time when you put the tiniest amount of cream on and around his eyelids, using the barest pressure to rub it in and still wincing in his place.

You’re very close to him. Your hand tingles. Whatever’s charging the atmosphere is impossible to analyze.

“Um. All done.” You pull your hand away, look away, throw the glove into the little trash can under the table.

“Rox?”

You look back at him and try to breathe evenly.

“Just… thanks. For all this. And…” He leans forward to catch Eva’s gaze. “...sorry I got my head bashed in and forgot about it.”

“We should get that checked out tomorrow.” Her voice is worn, but her eyes are soft.

Your worry changes form in that instant, from low-key constancy in your veins to the choking kind of worry that comes from realizing you love them, are in love with them, your best friends who are in love with each other and either don’t know or can’t admit it. They certainly don’t have the room to accept your feelings.

You’ve known this for long enough; it’s hardly a revelation. But something about tonight has crystallized your feelings, made them impossible to bury. Now you know the origin of the physical ache that’s been dogging you for weeks, to the point of becoming a second skin, and you desperately wish you could do anything to ease Neil and Eva’s pain as much for yourself as for them. You just squeeze Neil’s hand, pretend Eva taking yours doesn’t stop your heart, and stare at Robert who graciously doesn’t stare back.

You nod, because you don’t trust your voice. But then you speak anyway. “We’re a team. Mismatched as we may be. We gotta stick together, you know?”

Looking at them both, you see Eva smile, and even Neil has a tiny flash of one when he says, “The four musketeers, or something?”

“Close enough.” Robert, soft, as he eases onto the couch next to Eva.

“No, exactly. One for all, and…” You swallow, looking at Neil, wishing so hard for Eva’s sake. “And all for one.”

Your hands left Eva’s and Neil’s to settle on the couch minutes ago, but now, almost synchronized, their hands cover yours again.

Every ounce of tension rushes out of you, in spite of the fact that your brain is in red alert mode, your heart’s beating fast enough it hurts, and heat’s flashing through you from head to toe.

Maybe one day you’ll tell Neil and Eva everything you feel. Maybe one day you’ll share your biggest secret with all three of them. But for now, all that matters is that you’re all together, safe for tonight, warm and dry. All that matters is the others’ emotions are blending into a shared, soft calm, that you’re almost, just about, being held by them. All that matters is that you all have each other.

For once in a long while, your mind is quiet.

[tumblunni]

Vexen and lexaeus go so well together cos vex is a fragile twig man and lexaeus is infused with maximum huggability. He is the only one able to give enough softs and protects

Also lol i like how theyre both tol yet still opposite body types. Its comparatively rare to see the buff dude shipped with a lanky bookworm instead of a short one. Its a classic shipping format with enough unique touches to make it interesting!

Also i like how theyre opposites in the sense of talkative/quiet, brash/stoic, etc. But also have lots in common with both being grumpy and socially awkward. Lots of potential for good bondibg moments where they relate to each other and enhance each other's lives.

ALSO just dad shipping is good. I always like pairings that dont just have a kid as an epiligue thing but right from the start them raising a kid together is a major part of the story. Especially when its all about adoption and found family!

Also older people ships are underrepresented in fandom. And i mean theyre not even super old or anything, i like to joke that vexen is a dad with big grandpa appeal but like at most i think he could be 45-50. People in their 40s and 50s rarely get to have these big romance plots. I dunno why society has this bullshit idea that your 20s/30s are when your life fuckin ends of oldness, when theyre literally when adulthood just starts!

Also icy dude and rock dude just compliments their shippingness even more cos those are surprisingly compatible magics for good smooch aesthetics. Ice is like grumpy but also elegant and beautiful once you get to know it. And earth could be judged as rough and emotionless but is really about protecting and nurturing and giving life. Lots of opportunitues for making metaphors about the distance between them when theyre first getting ye olde crush, and all the positive romanceness when they get together. And like a beautiful snowy landscape could be a symbol of their love and also a nice setting for a romantic confession! Or the classic "my partner teaches me how to ice skate" scene of cute maximums. I'm leaning towards lexaeus being the one who knows how to do it and vexen being the learner? Cos itd show how lexaeus is very intelligent, graceful and gentle no matter how people judge him. And it might bring vexen out of his comfort one to show him getting frustrated over something he has no innate talent for, and could lead to a heart to heart talk about exactly why vex is so concerned about being perfect and being respected all the time. Self hate is a real bitch! So a nice warm romantic lesson in iceyskates cpuld be an opportunity for lex to help vex know that at least one person thinks he's brilliant no matter what all those assholes say

UGH IM SO INVESTED IN THIS DAMN RAREPAIR why am i like this

Today's mood is tired dad a sleep a hugging he bara husband. Cradle this scarecrow man in the stronge arms. Peace & security & the goodships!

[strangcrdoctor]

Answer the following for your muse so people know how shipping works on your blog.

WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER? Honest to god, I really don’t have one. Stephen is such a versatile character that I don’t have any singular OTP for him, which means I’m not opposed to developing new pairings whatsoever.

WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO WRITE WHEN IT COMES TO SHIPPING? I’m open to at least discussing almost anything, including dark and twisted plots, AUs, etc. Both I and Stephen don’t feel comfortable with any shipping with minors, so that’s about the only Hard No that we adhere to outright. Anything else is at least on the table for consideration.

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE? Stephen’s age is pretty complicated, so how I handle shipping age gaps is nuanced. Naturally, anyone less than 30 is relatively off Stephen’s radar - he ran a research department and was very career oriented, and otherwise never struggled to blinker himself away from even considering people more than 10 or more years younger than himself. That doesn’t mean it’s impossible, it’s just less likely especially given his life experiences. On the other hand, he has zero qualms with being with people older than himself by any stretch.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING? Generally speaking yes, but in the sense that I can be convinced of almost anything if there’s good reasoning or writing behind it. I don’t auto-ship things (though I have a few ships that are perpetually on my wishlist), so I always prefer to build a ship on how my partners write and interpret their characters, both OCs and canon characters. Not everyone’s representations gel, so I always like to see who I gel with first before diving into ships..

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED NS/FW? Typically when more than just heavy kissing or heavy touching is involved. I always tag my even para-ns/fw stuff, but things don’t usually go that far. If they do I usually prefer they pop off tumblr and go to disco or private messaging.

WHO ARE THE OTHER CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH? Jesus so many. Like guys you could seriously convince me of almost anything. Tony? Great. Pepper? Great! Both Tony and Pepper? Rhodey? Steve? Bucky? Sam? Scott? Clint? Wanda? Natasha? Matt? Jessica? Luke? Thor? Frank? Victor? Logan? Charles? Erik? Reed? Sue? Carol? Or anyone in any other franchise I adore? I seriously don’t care. If the chemistry is there and we’ve got a good even basic foundation for why the feelings came about, believe me, I will catch them feelings and so will Stephen.

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU? I greatly prefer it, but I’m also open to winging things if we just want to test-drive it and see how it works. If you want to develop an in-depth relationship I usually prefer asking for mutual interest first, but doing a quick back-and-forth to test drive something is okay too, usually if we at least have done some threads or asks together before.

HOW OFTEN DO YOU LIKE TO SHIP I actually don’t end up getting to ship much because a lot of my threads are plot-based. Of course I have a few consistent ships and do love to get shippy memes, but established ships on this blog are relatively rare, more so than I would like because I love me some shiiiiiips. .

ARE YOU SHIP OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS? I don’t need ships to function by any means because I love plot stuff and friendship and enemyship and frenemyship just as much, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like them. So I guess that makes me the epitome of more-or-less?

ARE YOU MULTISHIP? Absolutely. I’m both fine with shipping with duplicates (as long as my partners don’t feel uncomfortable with it), and working with polyships. I also ship a billion and one things soooo yeah.

WHAT IS/ARE YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP(S) IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM? Honestly a lot of the way the fandom handles ships with Stephen I kinda don’t like, but various partners have made me adore Tony/Stephen, Wanda/Stephen, and a few polyships that I won’t drag people into. But like I said, I love all the rarepairs with this magical sasshole so just chalk me up to loving all of them.

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU? I always feel either too guilty for not being on enough or too nervous to post a real shipping call, so honestly the best way is either to IM me or hit me up for a random meme to get the ball rolling. I don’t always like to get started on romantic memes, but they can be fun too. So I guess when in doubt, or when interested, just ask me! I’m really a soft, quite available human even if I don’t get to post drafts often.

Tagged by: it’s another meme I stole, this time from @facemypast and a whole bunch of others on my dash Tagging: whoever else is interested in filling it out, feel free