#Mi is for Peed

[re-lmayer]

i've found myself in a bad situation. the tl;dr is i have to move, but i can't afford to. i'm a disabled student and just do not have the funds required to rent a truck, hire movers, and cover deposits. so, i'm offering various services on my kofi, but if you don't need those you can also donate there or via paypal. my cashapp and venmo are both erinshelley91 if you'd like to donate on those platforms (i couldn't figure out how to link to those)

if you can't afford to commission me or to donate, reblogging this post and sharing my twitter thread is a free way to help me out and is so appreciated!

more context and stuff under the cut, i just don't want to make a long post on ppl's dashboards

my landlord has been cheating on his husband, and their relationship is rocky. he also has a massive spending addiction according to his husband. his spending addiction is making him not want to perform the actual duties of a landlord, because investment costs are cutting into his shopping spree funds

ex, he is illegally not fixing a leak in the shower of the upstairs tenants, and claims the costs are more than their rent. he told them to "figure it out, or get the fuck out." (verbatim.) he also told me it would be cheaper for him to not have tenants at all bc his utility bills would be smaller. he then left it to ME to inform another tenant to leave (then gaslit me and denied it in front of his husband when his husband questioned it)

in his words, we have 90 days to leave. i am disabled and a full time student and have been living on my fafsa returns, and the last job i had made one of my disabilities worse to the point i've had intensive physical therapy (several hours several times a week) and am likely going to have to undergo surgery

i'm also mi/nd, so even on a good day i'm not very well equipped to handle things, and the recent stress has also caused my therapist to see me several times a week in lieu of institutionalization

all that said, i'm not in a good spot physically or mentally, hence the best i can do right now is offer some of my skills on kofi

i'm currently working with my state's vocational rehab to try and find a suitable job until i can get my degree, but even then i simply would not be able to afford the costs of a sudden move in the timeframe i've got to work with

UPDATE MARCH 25, 2024: i want to invest in a scooter to do gig work like doordash. this will let me work at my own pace, and earn towards the move myself, then i'll have some more independence to continue doing that after as well

they require 50cc or under, which means i could get a scooter for under $1,000. i'd also need to cover fees to renew my license (i let it lapse since i haven't had a vehicle), get a helmet, and get insurance (roughly $100 annually)

i also made some amazon wishlists for folks who would like to help but prefer to know exactly where their money's going. i have one for housewarming stuff here, and one for necessities here

update as of april 5: my cat peed on my bed, and since it's a memory foam mattress it soaked all the way through and ruined it

update as of april 7: she did it again. this time there's blood in it

update as of april 14: i still haven't been able to take her to the vet, but i've been trying to do at home remedies

[f10werfae]

Mi Princesa

pairing: Sugar Daddy!Pedro Pascal x Pregnant!Reader

summary: Some morning loving with Pedro Pascal and his very pregnant wife, and maybe a little spice in the shower (DILF Warning ) Disclaimer 18+

likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated🫶

Full Masterlist, Pedro Pascal Masterlist

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

“Good morning mi princesa, and good morning mi amor” Pedro whispered bending down to kiss his wife’s 6 month bump, the coldness of his wedding ring making her flinch. “Baby, ya woke her up” She whined feeling the small fluttery kicks erupt at the tip of her stomach, her eyes still closed but her lips already aiming for Pedro’s, giving him one hell of a wet kiss. “I’m sorry baby, daddy wanted to talk to his princesa” He whispered gruffly, one of his hands sneaking up her sleep shirt to cup and squeeze at one of her swollen breasts, massaging it softly.

“Eh? What about your other princesa?” Y/n winked biting her lip, softly moaning at the feeling of his cold hands on her tits, he was always so gentle with her; almost as if she was made of glass. “Mm can’t forget about her, but you’ve been upgraded baby, tú eres mi reina”

“Hmm sounds sexy what does it mean?” Tracing the side of his face she felt his hand fall back down to her rounded stomach, a habit he had picked up over the past few weeks, along with the belly kisses and telling his baby-girl stories. “Means you’re my reina, my queen, and this little girl, is our princesa”

“God could you get any sweeter, sexier and even more handsome Pedro” She squealed using her energy to hoist herself up to straddle him, even with her stomach in the way, she leant down as best as possible to pepper kisses all over his neck; giggling once she felt his hand on her ass, softly drumming against it with his hand. “Oh shit, I may have peed a little” She said suddenly sitting up, knowing damn well how much her precious princess loves using her bladder as a cushion, sending her to the toilet multiple times an hour.

“Did I ever tell you how much I love your waddle?” Pedro whistled watching her speed waddle into the toilet, a hand on the small of her back as she sent a glare his way, sticking her tongue out at him. “ah baby don’t get like that with me, I can’t stand it when mi reina gives me that face” Pedro sighed springing himself out of the cotton sheets, following his wife like a cute little puppy, just watching her wash her hands and brush her teeth. “Stop giving me those eyes, Mr Pascal” She warned spitting out the rest of her water, reaching behind him to pull on the water heater,

“What eyes Mrs. Pascal? The eyes you fell in love with? The eyes you look into while-“

“Yes yes, those eyes, now help me” She smiled widely holding both hands up in the air, watching on as Pedro pulled his shirt off her body, hearing him wolf whistle once he saw her nude body; acting as if they hadn’t been going at it like rabbits due to her raging hormones. “Come on daddy, don’t ya wanna shower with the mommy?” She smirked slowly stepping into the shower, her hands rubbing over her stomach as she tilted her head cutely, knowing damn well what it did to her sugar daddy husband.

“Mierda, the things you do to me woman” He groaned quickly ridding himself of his shorts and t-shirt, his arms instinctively wrapping around her waist to bring her side flush against his chest, the gruff of his facial hair softly scratching against the top of her head. He could practically feel the heat coming from her wet centre the more he felt up her wet body, taking his sweet time to kiss and grab at all his favourite spots (which was basically everywhere) Taking his time to kiss at her breasts, her stomach, her arms, even bending down to kiss at her thighs.

“Please Pedro, you know what you’re doing, s’not fair” She sighed stomping her foot lightly, furrowing her brows as his tongue licked stripes up her neck and into her mouth; causing her to moan into his hot wet open mouth. “I need you daddy, please” She whined using the nickname that started their relationship in the first place, on that dodgy sugar baby site. Her hand leading his down to her already swollen clit, directing his fingers to rub slow soft circles on her button.

“I’ve got you mi vida, got to help my princesa’s mama, mi reina” He whispered kissing her lips then her cheek, his fingers moving at a steady pace as he felt her grasp onto his forearms for balance, her forehead leaning against his chest.

“I-i’m close baby, so so close” She whispered kissing his pec, gasping when she felt his fingers sort through her holds, swiftly inserting a finger into her snug hole; with one finger at her clit simultaneously. “Let go for me mama, i’m right here, let go for me gorgeous girl” He sighed against her temple, feeling her clench onto one of his fingers as she shook against him; her legs slightly trembling. “Good girl baby, feel and taste you so good” Rubbing her folds gently to let her ride her high, he slowly removed his hands, licking them clean as he looked into her eyes.

“You’re crazy Pedro, but I love you so much for it” She breathed out, clearly out of breath, her body fully leaning onto his for support; before wincing again when she felt an extra strong kick being delivered to her ribs, her little girl was finally awake again. Pedro’s hands immediately rushing to her stomach, shushing his little baby at the same time, he was in awe at her sheer strength. His lips meeting the stretch marks on his wife’s belly, his eyes marvelled in awe at how beautifully they were spread on her skin, the marks telling a story of how she was carrying his baby, their baby. Their princesa

“mi princesa, no le hagas daño a tu madre, she takes such good care of you, making sure you’re safe and healthy in her amazing beautiful body. Take care inside there okay? You can kick papa all you want when we meet you, but for now stay calm mi princess, te amo mucho”

———

no le hagas daño a tu madre = Don’t hurt your mother

PSA: This was so cute to write I loved it so much🫶 So I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it :)

*All Spanish came from online as i’m not fluent, if something needs corrected please let me know :)*

See you guys at the next update 🫶

[gadriezmannsgirl]

GENDER REVEAL 6 WHERE THE READER GIVES BIRTH

You don't even want to know what the gender is???😂 We can already guess tho... Anyways, here you go!!

Also known as Gender Reveal (6)!

Once More -P.G

Summary: You're ready to go through all of it, once more

You were messing around with Helena and her dolls at home, your husband was at a medical appointment in the club, regular check-ups they had to do, your 34 weeks old tummy was bigger than ever

"¿Quieres algo de comer, Lena?" You ask your babygirl pushing her hair back as she nods "What do you want?"

"What do you fancy, ma?" She asked looking at you.

Ever since Pablo had once asked you that in front of her, she grew curious as to why he was eating the same thing as you, when Pablo told her that her sibling was asking for a certain food through you and that for you not to feel alone, he was also eating it, she too started to do that.

"I'm craving a bit of Ice cream" You said smiling at her. That was the most calm craving you have had during the pregnancy, because oh boy! Your normal cravings consisted in mixing a sugary thing with vinegar, eating soap and a few mores that definitely had you, Pablo and even Helena confused

"Just ice cream?" You nod at her "Without anything else?" You laugh

"Without anything else" You affirmed

"Then good!" She smiled nodding as you went to stand up.

You probably knew that you shouldn't be on the floor without Pablo around to help you out but you couldn't help it wanting to play with your little girl.

It definitely wasn't impossible but definitely wasn't easy.

"Momma"

"Don't tell your dad this happened, yeah?" You asked her as she nodded.

Pablo had definitely taught her on what you were and what you were not able to do but seeing as you were her mom, she couldn't exactly tell you off, she definitely respected you and Pablo the most, so the thing she always does is lightly saying: "Dad told me you shouldn't be doing that" or "Momma, be careful"

"You shouldn't have sat on the floor, you can't stand up as before, ma"

"I know what I'm doing Lena, thank you for worrying tho, I wanted to play with my little girl for a while, yeah? I can handle this, mi amor" You disappeared to the kitchen grabbing two vases and two spoons, filling them up and going back to the living room where you felt, what you could describe as a kick on your back that inmovilized you for a few seconds

"¿Mami?"

"¡Voy, mi linda, voy!" You said after catching your breath "Lena, ¿Quieres ver una movie?" You ask her

"¡Rapunzel!" You nod smiling, you sat her on the couch, gave her the ice cream and pressed play on the movie after settling it.

During it, you felt several sharp kicks, you definitely remember having those with Helena, so you were going to wait for Pablo to go to the hospital, you tried to not show any kind of pain with Helena in front of you for her not to worry but you were sighing more than you have ever done before in your whole life.

Not even when you were mad at Pablo during your boyfriend-girlfriend time.

"Are you okay, mommy?" You nod smiling

"I am, Lena. Just a bit tired, amor. My back's hurting a bit but is normal now" She smiles at you when you realize the movie was done "What about Frozen?" She nods excited

"Yes, so I can dance and sing to Elsa's song" You smile nodding. You stood up to grab your phone and the remote when you felt it.

You hunched over the table, processing the pain that was consuming you

"Mami, you peeded yourself!"

"It's not pee, mi amor" You tried to calm her down "Lena..." You took a deep breath "remember what Dad taught you?"

"Tantas cosas que papi me enseña" You smiled at her in through your pain

"He told you that this may happen one day, right?" She nods "Okay, so your brother is coming like now and I need you to calmly grab Mom's phone, dial Daddy and tell him that we urgently need him at home because I'm giving birth and can't drive like this" You groan "I'll go upstairs and find the backpack-AH!" You hunched over, as the contractions were close to the other "And tell him to hurry up, please"

"Momma"

"Please, do what I said, Lena. I'm fine, mi vida. I'm fine, I swear I am" You were already on your way to the stairs.

You don't know how you did it but you managed to go upstairs to your room to grab your bag and to the baby's one to grab his and just like you came up, you went down.

"Mami, already called Daddy, he's on his way home"

"When was that?"

"Like five minutes ago" She said worried for you, so you tried to smile at her

"You'll be a big sis soon, Lena. How does it feel?"

"I don't like him putting you in pain, mami"

"That's something normal, mi amor. I went through the same thing with you and I'm fine, I'll be fine" You pulled her up on the stairs so you could kiss her cheek "I promise you"

"You look beautiful, mami" You smiled and laughed at that, always being just like her father

"Thank you, hija" The door busted open revealing a worried Pablo

"Is everything okay?" You nod

"You gotta step on that pedal and try to make it to the hospital as fast as posible, Pabs" You said making him grab onto Helena's hand and passed him one of the bags, the three of you moving "Put her in the car"

"I'm not letting you go and walk alone" He said as if was the most obvious thing in the world, you couldn't help but smile and pecked his lips "Let's go and bring our boy, amor"

...

"I swear the baby didn't came out before because I was wearing pants, then" You said making the presents laugh lightly, you had given birth to your second child, Mateo Martín Páez six hours ago.

Mateo, unlike Helena; was ready to take onto the world, when your water broke was because you were 8 centimeters of dilatation but you had been doing labor ever since Pablo had left this morning to training. You were amazed by that because you didn't felt it until it was almost time.

"Sometimes it happens" The doctor concluded smiling lightly at you "Good news is that you have a healthy little boy, on your arms, already" Doctor had said smiling at you both "Congratulations"

Helena was in the arms of her aunt Aurora, Belén and Pablo were smiling watching their son with his newborn, your parents and your brothers were also watching the scene chatting with you. The guys had already been here, but seeing as it was a bit late and they had a game tomorrow they left earlier, the room was still full of balloon's, cakes, cards, teddy bears and everything.

Just like they were with Helena, this time the decoration had mostly blue and green colours.

After a little while talking and after Helena shushing her uncles and auntie for making too much noise saying "You'll wake up baby", they all decided to leave and when Helena found out she was also leaving she wanted to throw a fuss

"Helena, amor. Only for tonight" You said "Dad will have to sleep here to help me with Mateo and we don't want you to spend the night in this cold and a bit uncomfortable place, that's why you are going with your grandma's" You smiled "But tomorrow morning, they'll come here, bring you and then we can go to our comfy and really loved house" She thought about it for a second

"Can I talk with baby?" She asked pursing her bottom lip out

"We'll be waiting for her outside" Belén said, as Pablo gave your mom, your house keys. Both grandma's were going to stay with Helena that day at yours

When all of them left, leaving you and Pablo alone with your kids, he passed Mateo to you and grabbed Helena pulling her into your lap, she hadn't been able to process her brother completely because there were other people around, then you had to breastfeed him and then Pablo was helping you out with him.

"Wanna hold him?" You asked as she looked at you excited, nervous and scared "It'll be fine" You smiled "Put your arms like mine" She did it "And..." You started leaving the baby in her arms, pulling yours underneath "There we go"

"He's like dad"

"Of course he is" You murmured looking at Pablo who winked at you

"He's beautiful"

"Of course he is" You nodded

"Talk to him, ladybug. Just like when he was inside mom's belly"

"What do I say?"

"Introduce yourself, maybe? Your are face to face with each other now, there's no tummy in the middle" You said

"I'm Helena, and I'm your big sister!" She exclaimed happily bouncing a little, your grip on her arms tightening "Just to let you know... I love you and I will take care of you, along with mommy and daddy which by the way are the bestest ones ever, we got really lucky God sent us to them" She says "Momma's absolutely gorgeous like a Queen and Dad's handsome, like a King but I'm even more pretty and that's why I'm the princess and you'll be even more handsome like a prince"

You look at Pablo who was crying a bit, he turned to look at you and leaned to kiss your hairline

"We will play, we'll eat, study, watch movies, play football with dad, read with mom and many more cool and cute stuffs" She said taking a break "I will protect you and you will protect me for ever and ever and I'm happy for you to be here with us, I know you'll be happy just like I am in our familly, and OH-!" She remembered something

"I know you're gonna love uncle Pepi! He's the coolest! And uncle Raphinha would probably teach us how to dance Samba, I don't get it either way but I try it, you will do as well. You will wear dad's shirt and go to the camp with us so you can see him play because let me tell you our parents are so cool!" You both laughed in between tears as Helena yawned "I'm sleepy right now, Mat. But I will come tomorrow and tell you more about the cool stuffs and how you'll feel in this fam with us, it's all good, I promise. I love you, don't give mamá and papá too many trouble, okay? I'll come for you tomorrow morning" She leaned and kissed his cheek making him coo lightly.

Pablo leaned and took Mateo from her which she quickly turned to hug you tightly

"Thanks mom" You sniffed and kissed her cheek

"I love you so much, Helena María" You said softly kissing her cheek over and over again

"I love you too, ma" You smiled when she kissed your cheek and nose "See you tomorrow" Then she turned to hug Pablo

"Hasta mañana, mi ladybug" Pablo kissed her cheek several times as well

"Te quiero mucho papi"

"Y yo a ti, bonita" They high-fived each other before you putted Helena down and watched her go towards the door, with Pablo holding it open for her, your mom's waiting for Helena who waved once more before leaving

"How do we got so lucky with her?" Pablo kissed your lips, sitting besides you in the bed, the hospital gave him

"I really don't know but I'm glad we did"

"Hope Mateo is the same"

"With a sister like Helena, he'll definitely be"

"Thank you, mi amor" He said smiling at you and you smiled back at him "For everything"

"Thank you too, for everything as well" You said "Te amo"

"Y yo a ti"

°°° °°° °°° °°°

Taglist: @gaviypedrisbride @stuckinaf4nfiction @elijahslover @azzpenswrld

[nattinatalia]

Watching a scary movie with Jack and scaring him on purpose 🤭

It was date night for you and Jack.

You usually go out to dinner and for a walk but since you both have been working nonstop you suggested staying in ordering food and watching a movie.

You had already picked out some comedy and action films but Jack had other plans.

“Mi amor you can’t handle scary movies, we’ve been through this.” You sit back on the couch, your sushi takeout on your lap.

“But I want to watch it, it’s still daylight outside so I won’t be scared.”

“Jack.” You warn.

“Plus it’s fake, so how bad could it be?”

“Mhmm.” You shrug. “What did you pick?”

He smiles, “Okay so Urban recommended this one.” He hands you his phone. “Apparently it’s a Hispanic tale, something adults tell their kids to scare them.”

You raise your eyebrows and look down at the text Urban sent him. “Are you sure you want to watch this?”

He nods, turning off the lamp beside him and sits next to you. “Yeah, of course.”

Jack hits play and you both eat while watching the movie. You’d throw glances at Jack here and there watching his reaction.

It was halfway through the movie that you needed to pee real quick so you stood up.

“Babe, wait where are you going?”

“I have to go use the restroom, I’ll be back.”

“Do not leave me here alone.” He whispers.

“Why are you whispering?” You chuckle.

He looks around. “She could be here.”

You roll your eyes, “I’ll be quick.” You make a run for the bathroom.

Once you were done using the restroom you came up with an evil plan.

You head to the blanket closet and take out a white bed sheet and toss it over your head covering your entire body.

You slam the door shut, “Y/N?” You hear Jack yell from the living room.

“BABE, YOU OKAY?” He yells out again, worried in his voice.

“Hay mis hijos.” You cry out.

“WHAT THE FUCK?” Jack yells out scared.

You’re walking to the living room, arms open continuing chanting “HAY MIS HIJOOOS.”

“No, nope absolutely not.” Jack jumps from the couch and across the living room. “What did you do to my fiancé?”

“MIS HIJOS.”

“We don’t have kids, so you’re lost lady!” Jack is trying to make a run out of the living room. “BABE WHERE ARE YOU?” He heads to the front door.

You quickly chase after him, he trips on the mat as he falls opening the door. “Nope, no.” He runs to his jeep.

You start laughing and take off the bed sheet. “Jackman, you were really about to leave me behind to die?”

He gasps, “Y/N?” He gets out of the car and heads your way. “Not funny, I think I might’ve peed myself.”

You laugh and look down at his sweats. “It’s what you deserve.”

“How did I deserve that? Scared me to death.”

“Why are you requesting real life scary movies in the first place?”

“Urban recommen- pause, what do you mean real life?”

You shrug, “This is based on a true story.”

“Nope, no.” He picks you up, throwing you over his shoulder.

“Jack” you laugh. “Where are we going?”

“We’re moving out and leaving everything behind”.

“She can follow us.”

He gasps out. “Y/N, STOP.”

You laugh, “Kidding.”

[not-goldy]

Tumblr please bring back my update.

It was a long ass post too and Tumblr jx sweeped it under the rugs damn

So Re my gf's dialog of doom- FALSE ALARM😭😭😭

Sis jx wanted to know what I wanted to do on my birthday💀

But like why did she say it like that cos I peed pooped puked pivoted ALL THE BIG P's at the same time😭😭😭😭😭😭

Sis don traumatized me in this relationship 🤧

Anyone who knows what's been going on between us last year. weve been going through this process close to and near my birthday that ends with us breaking up- and then getting back together.

It's very simple, she missed my birthday last year ND the year before that. No post no greetings no calls nothing. So what did I do? Nothing. Didn't complain didnt ask questions. NOTHING.

And it hurt cos I used to do everything for her on her birthday to let her know I be feeling her like that- and honestly I just think it's nice to do nice things for people you care about and her birthday is jx an excuse for me to show her I care and give her experiences and moments ya know?

I don't know. May be it's my mistake I keep giving her the love I want for myself and I keep loving her in ways I never had.

Anywho, I had had enough of her analysis retentive attitude so close to her birthday, I got her all excited, called up her friends to let them know I was planning something for her. I even asked if they wanted to come cos I knew they would tell her either way. they a bunch of clowns really🤡

On her birthday, she cleared her schedule and seemed in a really good mood- I cleared my schedule too( we worked together then, she's my boss so she definitely knew I cleared my schedule that day)

Then on her birthday, I took myself out on a nice getaway staycation got me some nice lingerie pampered my back and toes, had those feet fetishized and love kissed by them cute weird freaky feet eating fishes with foot fetish, strolled through long halls naked under the robe with a glass of wine, and let my phone ring on silence.

Came back n acted like I'd been out with people and had the time of my life.

You can't stress me out and expect me not to love myself.

I'LL LOVE MYSELF ON YOUR BIRTHDAY😘

This year. I totally forgot she's a March born like I stopped caring bout her birthday n I wasn't even trying to be petty or nuin😭😭😭😭😭

I just don't care anymore 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

So when she said we needed to talk, turns out she just wanted to talk about that and call it truce cos she says she can't keep going through that year after year.

And frankly I can't either cos I be having my entire heart ripped out of my chest it be looking like a homicide inside my ribcage- but it doesn't stop me from returning the energy on her birthdays too cos I'M PETTY AS FUCK DUDE

I'm a Libra don't mess with me. I'll take the L, go through all the motions, feel that hurt and pain and betrayal and when I'm done- RUN

ILL GEAR UP AND SERVE YOU HOT STEAMING PILE OF LAVA BOILING REVENGE COOKED STRAIGHT FROM HELL'S COLD KITCHEN😌

She asked me what my plans are for my birthday and I honestly have nothing planned at all- I jx want to be quiet and alone and watch Netflix.

She's hurt cos she says I used to want to do things together with her on my birthday.

I don't know if I've changed like she says but frankly as much as I love her I don't enjoy being with her anymore.

I'd rather spend my birthday alone, do things alone- I love her want her- it's just I'm scared of another fight and yet again another break up and if us being distant is the only way we can have a semblance of a normal relationship then I'll take that.

And I'll rather have this than not have her at all.

Chilee I don't know anymore.

Also yall quit complaining bout me bringing my drama to your doorstep. Like yall have audacity hanging around my blog for free 99 and expecting relative peace and drama free services😹😹😹😹😹

Say it after me, We all in this together

Mi drama is su drama adios 😘😆

[imagines-for-earthbread]

Espresso x Clotted Cream let them be nice and domestic with each other idk maybe theyre making bread but fucking suck at it let them b nice to each other pelase

The aroma of freshly-baked bread punctuated the kitchen, drifting about like a tantalizing promise. It rose in the oven, outer crust turning crisp and almost golden, cracking here and there as it expanded. The inside of it would be airy and light. Butter could melt on it.

Espresso imagined it as he sipped on his coffee, relaxing. At the end of the day, he'd done good work--today was a day to relax, and he figured he may as well try dabbling in something that his coworkers insisted was somewhat akin to his particular brand of science. Apparently baking required specific steps to be taken to heart--any vague mis-measuring or overmixing could be the difference between a successful end product and a disaster.

He was confident.

"It doesn't look right," his husband commented by the oven. Espresso turned his head to frown at his backside, leaning against the nearby counter and doubled over to peed into the partially-open oven.

"Of course it won't," he commented briskly. "Not if you keep letting all the heat out." Clotted Cream shifted, as if he were considering leaving the oven be, but he ended up not moving. Espresso sighed. "Just close it and wait for the timer to go off."

"It looks like ghost bread," Clotted Cream explained, finally shutting it as slowly and quietly as he could. "Isn't there supposed to be a brown crust around it, like the kind you buy at the store?"

"I don't know," Espresso shrugged. "I've never made bread before."

Clotted Cream looked at him over his shoulder, his eyes widened and brow furrowed with a vague sense of worry. His oft-present smile--charming, confident and guarded--was gone now, replaced with a fretfulness that extended outward, in the way that he began to pace about the kitchen to get himself a glass of wine. His hands shook just a little as he poured it, though he tried to keep it steady. Espresso guessed that he was stressed--a glance at the calendar was all the reminder he needed that his schedule was swamped with appointments and deadlines.

"Clotted Cream, I'm not going to divorce you over bad bread."

The Consul lifted his head at that, staring at Espresso for a few long moments before gesturing about vaguely. "I didn't say anything."

"Sit with me," Espresso suggested, reaching a foot out to nudge one of the chairs at the table out. "Tell me about your day."

He did. For the next hour and a half, Clotted Cream and Espresso talked, first about work and then about other matters. Clotted had a short day, but a hard one--it was always a difficult day where private discussions with the Elders were involved. He was more than happy to leave the office early and offload his work, relieved that overstaffing was a current issue. Espresso thought bitterly of Elder Custard, Clotted Cream's miserable excuse for a father, and felt disgust coil in his stomach.

From there, it shifted to lighter things. Clotted Cream saw a little dog on his route home and has been thinking about it ever since. "No," Espresso said, firmly, "we aren't getting a dog." Clotted Cream nodded and agreed, explaining that he knew they were both too busy to take care of one. But it was a nice thought.

An hour and a half later, the timer went off, interrupting Espresso's explanation of why cat claws can sheathe and dog claws couldn't. Clotted Cream and Espresso both rose to their feet and advanced towards the oven, Espresso grabbing the oven mitts on the way. He opened the oven while his husband reached over him to turn the timer off.

He blinked down at the bread.

"...Oh."

Clotted Cream looked over his shoulder, frowning down at the bread, as well. Espresso's cheeks felt warm at the fact that he knew this, a traitorous butterfly flitting in his stomach enough to make him shiver. "Yeah," Clotted Cream agreed, his voice bleak and vague. "It looks like a ghost."

Nonetheless, Espresso took the loaf pan out, setting it on the stove top and closing it carefully. Clotted Cream took a stick of butter out of the fridge and began smearing it over the steaming top, but Espresso doubted that it'd do much. Curiously, he took a knife and tapped at its surface once Clotted Cream was done with that.

"...It feels crisp," he noted. "Let's see how it cuts."

And cut, he did--though he gave up on the bread knife quickly and reached for a steak knife instead. Surely the crust wasn't meant to be as tough as it was--it was so strange and peculiar, how it looked undercooked but felt like it was burnt! Even with a steak knife, the cutting wasn't easy--the crust on the bottom was insistent about staying attached, stubborn and clingy. When he finally took a piece and set it on a plate, the inside of the bread was thick and cakey.

One slice for each of them, slathered in bread. It smelt like bread, and it tasted like bread, but it tasted so thick and moist that it ended up making Espresso wonder if the dough was undercooked. Clotted Cream grimaced as he chewed, his refined palette finding it difficult to digest in comparison to Espresso's more tolerant stomach.

"...It's edible," Clotted Cream commented. "I think."

"Let's retrace our steps," Espresso suggested, setting his bread on the plate and bracing himself against the counter. "The dough didn't necessarily double in size when we were letting it raise in the pre-heated oven both times. What could be the reason for that? Did you activate the yeast?"

Clotted Cream blinked, double-taking at Espresso. "...Activate the yeast?"

"The little packet," Espresso explained. "That's the yeast. According to the instructions on the back of the packet, you activate it by letting it sit in hot water for a few minutes."

"...There were instructions on the back of it?" Clotted Cream cleared his throat, turning his head away, face turning warm and pink with embarrassment. "Well--I don't know about any instructions on the packet! I was just following what the cookbook said."

...So he didn't activate the yeast.

Espresso expected himself to be irritated at the blatant lack of regard, but amusement and warmth tickled him instead. Clotted Cream wasn't a cook--it seemed that every time he tried to cook in his own house, something horrible went terribly wrong. He remembered the rank stench of burnt cake around when they first started dating, the first instance where Clotted Cream's professional demeanor started to crack on the edges. "I wanted to impress you," he'd said miserably, "but I just ended up making a fool of myself..."

Espresso found out quickly that Clotted Cream's tendency to not do what commoner cookies tended to do was less for lack of interest and more for lack of knowing how to proceed with it in the first place. What was the point of trying to do something if you were just going to make a fool of yourself? Better to stick to what you already know and preserve your image.

"Hey," Espresso urged, his voice soft as he reached to rest a hand on Clotted Cream's shoulder. "Think of it like this. At least you didn't start a fire in the oven. Progress."

Clotted Cream blinked, looking at Espresso and meeting his gaze for a moment. His shoulders eased, relaxing, a tentative smile easing on his face and reaching his leafy green eyes. "At least it's edible," he suggested, emboldening himself to take another bite.

"It is," Espresso agreed. "But it's no dinner."

"Let's order something, then," Clotted Cream suggested immediately. "Maybe watch something on the television together."

For once.

The words were unsaid, but Espresso could feel them, suggested in the air. He snorted, lifting a hand to his mouth, hiding a smile. "I'd like that."

[rpmusingsforthesoul]

Schitt’s Creek Season 6  Sentence Starters

feel free to change pronouns 

“Are you sure you don’t want any help with that?”

“Are you still trying to close that thing?”

“Okay, does nobody care that I’m going to be gone for six months?”

“Take me with you.”

“No! This is not-! This is not how I go! Somebody help!”

“I’m feeling a little tension.”

“No, it’s wet. There’s wet in the bed.”

“Oh my god, ____? Did you wet the bed?”

“Nothing about that is fine. Do we have to file for divorce if we were never married?”

“Does that window open? Because I’m about to jump out of it.”

“And now you need to remake your little bed, because I peed in it!”

“____, language, please. A man is dead.”

“Okay, I’m leaving. And if I don’t come back, it’s because of you.”

“So are you just never going to talk to me?”

“So ask me if I care.”

“____, dinner’s ready.”

“I’m just, like, so happy to see your face.”

“Why is there a turtle on the floor?”

“Can you drive better please?”

“Imagine us right now, but just with a little baby.”

“I’m not gonna stand in the way of you finding what makes you happy.”

“Well, It would be so nice to not be completely alone for a night.”

“This is a cult. I brought you to a cult.”

“I have had worse things in my mouth.”

“I’m so glad I wrestled you away today for this oenological escapade. I finally have you all to myself.”

“I look like a cheese puff.”

“I like to think that we helped each other get here.”

“I don’t think I’m ever gonna meet another woman that made me feel the way you do.”

“I’m just looking for like, any distraction from the fact that my heart’s shattered into a million pieces.”

“I can’t seem to do anything right now.”

“You are going to have to get it together.”

“Okay, how about you shhhh for a sec?”

“I have big dreams.”

“Why do you want to go back to a place that’s done nothing but hurt your feelings?”

“I want those people to know that I’m not a joke. And that I’ve won.”

“On a personal note, I don’t want you to leave me here! Okay?”

“Did you put on deodorant today?”

“What? One pizza? What is this, Les Mis?”

“I don’t want to be anywhere you don’t want to be.”

“What happened? Who died?”

“You can barely get through this without crying, so that’s a no.”

“You ate three bagels in half an hour.”

“I love you very much.”

“That was the first time I ever received a happy ending.”

“Why would I want you to get a happy ending from a stranger on our wedding day?!”

“This is not a wedding dress it’s a white floor length gown! It’s very different.”

“I’ve never felt as safe as when I’m with you.”

“It’s 6am, ____. I’m moving as fast as I can.”

“I also didn’t go to bed last night.”

[heynowisavedyouright]

hi i got into ashswag because of your blog and i am wondering. if you have any more favorite swagdoons clips. like Any nonzero additional amount of clips. my hands are cupped like im in the desert begging you for water. also do you have a link to reddoons's blockwars origins season 12 vod

congrat$ on that ^-^ if youre a$kin i a$$ume youve $een the previou$ po$t$ 1/2 . if you did only one of them then here you are . and thi$ one which i al$o did po$t already . yea . new one$ ... i Dont remember if i ever $hared a$h $aying he mi$took red$ $3 heart bank for a $peed dating area $o there$ that ... other than that youre out of luck im afraid

and oh vod$ i have $o many link$ to blockwar$ vod$ huh ... ( <- bw archiver ) thi$ $hould be your guy

[suidiaper]

Father's day

Raul was watching TV, when suddenly an ad appeared on TV where he urged all the boys and girls to wish their parents a good day, since today was Father's Day, so Raul stood up as best he could. that they had put some mittens on Raul, since lately he has been sucking his thumb a lot, even when they told him not to suck his thumb because he almost spent a lot of time on the floor watching TV, so that's why they put the mittens on him But well, Raul went to his daddy's studio where he was working on something, but on the way to the studio, Raul peed in his diaper. When he arrived with his daddy, Raul told him.

raul: daddy.

Raul's dad sees it and then tells him.

Raul's dad: yes, what happened my little angel.

raul: happy day daddy.

raul's daddy: oh thanks, and i think my little angel needs a change.

Then Raul's daddy gets up from his crate and goes to where his little one is, picks him up and takes him to his room where he changed his diaper.

_-------

Sorry if I uploaded it late because I just started drawing it yesterday, and I just finished it.

:::::::::::

raul estaba viendo la tele, cuando derepente en la tele aparecio un anuncio donde insitaba a los todos los niños y niñas, que le deseen un buen dia a sus papis, ya que hoy era dia del padre, asi que raul se paro como pudo ya que le habian puesto a raul unos mitones, ya que ultimamente a estado mucho chupandose el dedo, aun cuando le decian que no se chupara el dedo por que casi se la pasaba mucho en el piso viendo la tele, entonces por eso le pusieron los mitones, pero bueno raul fue hasta el estudio de su papi donde estaba trabajando en algo, pero en el camino al estudio raul se hizo pipi en su pañal, cuando llego con su papi raul le dice.

raul: papi.

el papi de raul lo ve y luego le dice.

papi de raul: si que paso mi angelito.

raul: feliz dia papi.

papi de raul: oh gracias, y creo que mi angelito necesita un cambio.

estonces el papi de raul se levanta de su asito y va a donde esta su pequeño lo carga y lo lleva hasta su cuarto donde le cambio su pañal.

----------

perdonen si lo subi tarde esque apenas lo empece a dibujar ayer, y apenas lo termine.

[halfwayanywhere]

Tour Divide Day 10: The mosquitoes are out in force this morning, even before sunrise - almost makes me miss the subfreezing temperatures. Sleeping on the shelter deck was nice except for everyone waking me up when they peed at night. That said, I’m sure the noise from the door woke everyone inside as well. I hit the privy before setting off a mostly downward-sloping course toward Pinedale, Wyoming. On the pavement heading to town, I’m nearly hit by a car for the first time this trip. If you’re passing a cyclist and there’s oncoming traffic, SLOW DOWN - wait for the car to pass. Don’t squeeze between traffic and the bike. It’s a choice between taking 30 seconds longer and risking the cyclist’s life. This is especially true if you’re towing - the person who almost hit me was towing a boat (what nearly hit me). Alive and in Pinedale, I fill my water bottles and stuff my face with too much food - including a pint of ice cream and a quart of chocolate milk. Eating too much in town and becoming incredibly tired on my rides out has become a recurring theme. Despite feeling like I’m constantly eating on the bike and always filling my frame bag to the gills with food, I still can’t seem to eat enough in town. Sadly, taking a nap isn’t an option today. Today’s day 10, which means it’s the halfway point for my new finishing goal of 20 days. Good news? I’m within striking distance of the halfway mileage marker. Bad news? It will require putting in my longest day ever on the bike. Not long after Pinedale, the route passes the Wind River Range and enters the Great Divide Basin - a large, mostly flat, somewhat desolate-looking area of Wyoming’s Red Desert where precipitation doesn’t drain to any ocean. The worry for the Basin is generally headwinds and mud; fortunately, I don’t have either. The Basin is relatively flat, making accomplishing my day’s goal more achievable. It’s one in the morning when I finally camp, after passing the halfway point and then pushing to hit 200 mi / 320 km - I was too close not to. Double century day ✅ Strawberry Safety Shelter to Divide Basin Distance: 200.85 mi / 245.28 km Elevation gain: 8,734 ft / 2,662 m #tourdivide2024 #tourdivide

[joomma]

The Brice is always Right logo shirt

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Do it because it sucks putting up Christmas decorations. It sucks putting up the tree, untangling all the lights, getting all that crap out of The Brice is always Right logo shirt storage and tossing around with meaningless baubles like each placement is life-or-death perfectionist fun. And we want to get the most out of that effort. Depending on how many “helpers” I have, it can take one to four hours just putting up the tree. (It’s frealistic, over two metres tall, and has individual coded branches.) The more helpers, the longer it takes. And it’s hot where we live. By the end I’m peed off, drenched, covered in sweat, and I haven’t even done the lights yet. Which are tangled to f*&#. Then the kids pull out all the decorations and place them random patchy over the lower sections of the tree, despite encouragement to maybe spread them around (and make it look goodish). So I wait for them to go to school the next day and redo all the decorations. It’s basically a couple days work for all the Chrissy dex.

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[abdlgaystories]

REGRESSION SCHOOL:

Hi, mi name is Leo and i am going to tell you how I ended up being a baby for my caretaker. I was 19 years old when my life changed forever. It was one random night when bad luck and my stupdness hit the sky. I was drunk and comimg to my home when the police stoped me, the officer asked some details to me and i just shout to them ACAB and i stick my dick out f my pants and peed all the policeman. That was very dumb for my part but it feel so right to challenge autorities specially police that i have to do it. They arrested me and i was send to see a judge. The judge say mi behabior was so childish and inmature that left me with two options, one of them was to give an example to people and charge to me with terrorism wich i found out crazy but the judge say that way people will respect the police and bla bla bla if i was found out guilty i will spend mi life in prision or i could be sent to a special school mesnt to reform people. This school was called the reform school and they told me that it was a project that goverment have to re-educate young delinquents like me. Basically i got the hint they needed voluntaries to this school and they threatjen young people to a life in prision without conditional or this school. I shigued and tell the judge that i was going to attend to that stupid school. The judge smile to me and told me i was specting to enter there next week he gave me an adress and gave me a few details sich as do not pack or bring anything thay will provide me with clothes and such. So next week i was going there scorted by police (if not i would try to scape) and i enter the building first i see is a tipycal hospital reception the policeman aprouches to the woman sitting in front of a computer and say mi name and age. I was guided to a room and here i met my actual Cg. His name was Tom 34 years old tall as hell and with big muscles first thing i thought about him is that he looks like hulk but with a pink tone instead of green. The man was wesring a T-shirt that said "Little Leo's Cg" it sounded very bad to me but i will learn soon how bad it would be. (Sorry that in this chapeter there are not any ABDL involved but i needed to write an introduction to how our little leo was going dawn in life i hope you all enjoyed this part anyways). Also wanna coment that i am from spain so my englis is very bad and i know there are a lot of mistakes so if that makes the read imposible let me know please.

[bestshiptrademark]

First thing in this blog, I guess. Hi! I'm MyeongJin, 20 yrs old, A.R.M.Y. and potterhead. So there's this thing called BTS Hogwarts! Au which I like to call HBTSAU. One day I was talking with my datefriend and we decided to start writing things about this AU because we both like BTS and we both like Harry Potter and we both like to imagine these scenarios.

We decided so sort BTS in their houses, of course, so we went on tumblr to see if anyone had done that so we could have a base, and get some ideas.

So I wanted to make this post about why we decided each member belongs to the house we put them in, so bear with me, follow my line of thought.

Let's start from Jin? YAS. I mean, he's the oldest, he was sorted first.

Kim SeokJin - Hufflepuff

I guess most of people agree on the thought that Jin is a Puff. But the idea I have of people sorting him as a Hufflepuff is that they don't think he belongs there, but they think that he doesn't belong to anywhere else. There's this thing that people do to SeokJin that I really hate that is underestimating him.  People do that with Hufflepuff’s in general, too. If you're one of these people, fight me bro. Puff's can kick your ass, and I will. Why did we sort Jin in Puff then? Puffs are known for being good companions, loyal, family-oriented, friendly, etc etc etc. Jin is like the mother of the group. He cares about others and is really friendly. We can see in various ocasions that he managed to befriend strangers, if that ain't puff, idk what it is. Also just the fact that even though he's the oldest, he accepts and supports NamJoon as leader is something that makes me think he belongs to the badgers. They don't like conflict, don't really care about being in charge of things, they care about helping the group the way they can and giving the best they have. Which reminds me that SeokJin is really hard-working. He knows that the image of BTS relies also on he's shoulders (as much as the others), so he keeps training to improve himself as a way of making the group (and Jin himself) better. Also something that we really put into thought is Jin love for food. Do you know where's Puff's common room? Besides the kitchen, so he's puff, you're welcome.

In order, Now it's time for my sweetpie, Suga.

Min YoonGi - Slytherin

Nothing new here, right? Though I also think it might be for the wrong reasons, I don't think I've ever seen people sorting him in another house. I think people might sort him in this house for his personality, the quiet, not caring type, always with a frown, not to talk about that if someone had to turn into a Dark Wizard it would be him. But, guys, guys, guys. Do you KNOW Min YoonGi? And do you KNOW Sly’s? Yes, yes, Salazar, Voldemort, Malfoys, but fuck that. Not every Sly is like that, they're not evil just for being ambicious. Let me say that Evil Wizards could be... Hufflepuffs! Yas! (Actually i know a Puff that could be worse than the Dark Lord, but let's not get into it right now). So let's stop right now with the tought that Sly's are the bad guys, they're not. I'LL FIGHT YOU, DEBRA! Why did we sort Suga into Slytherin anyways? Min Suga is ambicious as FUCK! Ever since he began to like music and hip hop, he put goals for himself, and made it happen. He's lyrics about being on billboard, being the best, saying he will conquer the world with his music, his work as a producer, a composer, an amazing rapper, all makes me think he's a great Sly. He wants the world, and he'll do what he needs to achieve that. By breaking the rules if needed to. He says he doesn't want to write just love songs, he has a mindset, he has this message he wants to deliver to his fans, put those words out there, his work is something that he is really proud of and he'll still continue to improve himself so he can reach out to more and more people. Even though he's "royalty" he's still Daegu boy. Suga is not evil, he's not egocentric, he cares about BTS members, the way he can, and the way he feels comfortable. Suga himself said in a interview that he has more of a quiet way of taking care of them,and TaeHuyng made sure everyone understood what he was talking about (by giving Suga a water bottle, as he looked to the other side, impersonating Suga). He want's to help others too. If you know SuRan, you probably know that she said that YoonGi helped her when she was feeling really depressed. Other thing is that he's really soft at core, but he can also be harsh. Just like everyone else, Min YoonGi is a person, he's complex. So as I was rethinking houses, I thought maybe he woulf fit really well in Puff too, but I think he'd prefer Sly, since the reputation of the house is making wizards great and powerful. There's nothing saying he wouldn't use his power to good, and deliver a good message for all those lost wizzards out there. I could go on and on about Suga, since I think i already rambled a lot, but let's go to the next one.

Jung HoSeok - Ravenclaw

Whoa, whoa, there. Hobi? In Ravenclaw? Yes, Debra, fight me. Why does Jung HoSeok belongs to Raven? First of all, let's talk a bit about our Raven house. They're the wise, the creative, known for their knowledge and just, being smart in general. But it's not just that, Ravens are also really open-minded, like to learn, and can be a little strange. And by that I mean a lot strange. They're the strangiest. Not saying Hobi is strange, but boi, those screams (I love them). It's really common to see Hobi as a Hufflepuff. He's a energy ball, lights up the mood, puts others over him, always thinking about the group atmosphere and harmony. Real soft, 10/10 would hug. (Plus, people unerestimate him, it might be one of the reasons why they decide to put him in Hufflepuff [Debra, I swear to GOD]) Why a Raven tho? Calm your tits, Debra, I have a point. The key point to the sorting decision is that Jung HoSeok is a great dancer! Why, you may ask, that doesn't make sense, you may say, but, I swear to God Debra, let me finish. Body expression (Bodily-Kinesthetic Intelligence, as you might put it) is why. The control you need to have over your body is tremendous to dance like he does. HAVE YOU SEEN THAT? He's from out of this world. BUTT! Not only the boy can dance, the boy can also rap, the boy can beatbox, the boy can sing. I repeat, the boy can sing. For the ones who don't know our little sunshine was supposed to be on Vocal Line of Bangtan Sonyeondan, that changed later, but he still can sing. He's good on everything he does. He puts his heart in it, you can see it. Not just that, but the Interpersonal Intelligende is strong in this one too. Not going too deep into that, but he understands his surroundings and how to act so the mood is good. (I just love him so much it literally hurts)

Kim NamJoon - Ravenclaw

Just like Suga, nothing new. I don't think I've seen Nammie as nothing else but a Raven. Still I'd like to make clear here why we chose that for our precious Monster. Smart AF. Next one.

No, I'm just kidding, Imma ramble here too. Kim NamJoon is often said to be the brains in BTS, he was one of the best students in Korea, he's IQ is really high, his  TOEIC score was excelent when he was in highshcool, he has all this logic thinking (you can see it in action in "Hot Brain: Problematic Men"), BOI, the list goes on and on. But, shockers, that's not the reason why we chose to put him in Ravenclaw. Before you say anything, Debra, that's indeed a good reason to sort him as a Raven, but he could also be sorted in Slytherin, or any other house. We all know that Hermione Granger is really smart, and yet, she is a Gryffindor. The reason that sealed his fate in Raven for us was his (weirdness) creativity and the other types of inteligence we spotted on him. Linguistic Intelligence, as he likes to write, he said he wanted to major in creative writing, he is a composer, a poet, a story teller, and Musical Intelligence, as a producer and rapper. I need to point out the thousands of word plays in BTS' songs. I'll stop here before thinking about Wings theories, Love Yourself theories and the upcoming album "HER" too much.

Park JiMin - Slytherin

I was trying to write this down, but I think JiMin is the only one that we didn't put that much thought into it. I mean, he's quite a perfectionist, he's really harsh on himself, he tends to aim for perfection, nothing is good enough. As we thought of it, he could be in any house, but he chooses to be in Slytherin because of the baggage that being a Sly brings with it. The Sly’s are known for their ambicious and cunning traits, plus they're good leaders, often graduate to be powerful wizards (The Dark Lord (TM) was really powerful, I guess) and also... He's so pretty in silver and green. HAVE YOU SEEN THE BOI? Yes, Debra, we didn't put that much of a thought in JiMin's sorting, but, cry me a table, we don't care that much, it's our headcanon, he fits in Slytherin as much as in any other house.

Kim TaeHyung - Gryffindor

OK, I might have lied. I don't even remember the line of thoughts into sorting Tae. Why is Maknae line giving me such hard time?

*reads the actual texts on Telegram* not sponsored

Oh yeah. We didn't even considered Tae in Sly or Raven. He was the 4th sorted, before him we had Nam, Jin and Suga already sorted. I didn't even notice that we sorted one for each house in order. Our convo about V's house was like. "Puff or gryff?" "Oh, he's too naughty to be a puff (as in a naughty child, that keeps messing things around and being a prick). Also red is his color." "Agreed. Have you seen him with red hair?" "YAAAAAS" "YAAAAAAAAAS" Then we moved onto Kookie, Hobi and JiMin

So that's that. Also keep in mind that my bae (JaeHi) wasn't an A.R.M.Y. when we did this sorting, so they didn't know that much of the boys, so I kept saying things about them and, after long 18 messages for each member and me telling how I loved them over and over, we decided each house. [I showed them this section and they say that as an A.R.M.Y., they agree with evey choice we made. Which makes me happy cause there's no turn back! :D]

Finally, the one that gave us the most headache to sort. (We loved it tho)

Jeon JungKook - Gyffindor

We started this conversation with the statement "Jeon JungKook is good in everything he does." So with that being said, he fits EVERYWHERE. He's really loving and caring of his hyungs, he's a rice cake, he's shy, and likes to be the maknae. He also likes to be SAVAGE_AF(TM), pull pranks and be your general dork we all love and want to attac and protec. He's really fearless, which freaks me out a little bit, like, walking in the dark, grabbing fish with his bare hands, calling JiMin_HYUNG(TM) just JiMin, saying he won't respond to Bangtan's texts cause "they're annoying and he doesn't HAVE to". Also, in his singing carreer, he put his heart there, and spent a whole year away from school to focus on that. The boi has balls. IDK if I could do the same, it's risky. But he dared, thank goodness, and now he's at the top of the world! I can also see him getting triggered a lot. Can it be classified as short temper? Maybe. Which classifies him better for both Sly and Gryff. But since we all see that whole thing people have with Sly's being villains, having bad reputation, stuff like that, and our little bunny, Kookie, being the cute lil' mochi he is [insert JiMin stans' triggered screams here], he'd prefer stay with the Gryff's, having loyal housemates and carrying proudly his lion badge everywhere.

Wo! That sure was an adventure. These are the reasons why we sorted each member into their Hogwarts house. Remember always that it's up to you agree or disagree with us and that's totally fine. It's like sorting yourself, you always have the choice to be somewhere just for the sake of it. Just to be happy. Because you want to.

Also little info, we are curently writing stories with this AU, we have A-Fucking-Lot of thoughts into this, there are things we'd love to share, so if you want to see anything else about HBTSAU, we'll love to recieve asks and sugestions to flesh out this un2verse (REFERENCES) even more.

[rosesutherlandwrites]

I Miserabili (1964)--episode one

Holy crap. I am so glad I’m watching this (and  a huge shout out to @adorablecrab for helping me make it happen with my incredibly awful tech skills) Especially after watching episode one of....erm...certain other adaptations really recently. This is SO MUCH BETTER! I tried to (kinda sorta) live tweet my way through so I’d have at least a record of what i thought, but i made a bit of a hash of it. But here is some kind of order of thoughts on the first episode (there are ten in total so hooray i have something to keep busy with for a while):

Even before getting into the adaptation part of things, this is making my occasional filmmaker heart happy. It’s just SUCH GOOD FILMMAKING. The pacing is amazing, the lead actors are KILLING IT, and even the things that are a little weird from todays perspective are interesting (no incidental music at all! Nothing trying to manipulate your feelings, everything you get is JUST THE STORY and i am telling you, i choked up bad for Fantine.) or weirdly entertaining (sudden changes of location without a transition, the non existent special effects in the Cart Incident ).

They definitely didn’t start with waterloo. But I was also surprised that they didn’t go to Toulon either? But it was really smart(and also from a budget perspective saved a ton of money) to start in the village of Digne, which has the sort of silently suspicious inhabitants that wouldn’t be out of place in a transylvanian village downhill of a vampire castle. All the key points get hit here...JVJ is a big guy btw. I have never seen a Valjean who so truly looked like he could indeed perform superhuman acts of strength. 

Both Mme Magloire and Baptistine made it into this adaptation! The bishop is really great. Quite gentle and saintly, but firm in his beliefs...he isn’t quite as humorously unconcerned about things as Derek Jacobi was, which i actually kind of missed? But really, he was great. He and JVJ have such a good conversation that i thought at one point: how the hell is he gonna turn around and steal the silverware? I should have trusted it would make sense, this is a damn good adaptation. (aside--when JVJ sees the candle sticks, his reaction to them cracked me up) After everyone goes to bed JVJ got a full on Shakespeare-style soliloquy! Which was unexpected and maybe odd by todays standards, but i loved it--a great way to give all the history of his crime, the what and the why of it and his punishment, and that he agrees--he was guilty--but that he feels the punishment was unjust (well yeah) and that society is to blame. Anyhow...the rest goes as it always does. (the silverware basket!) The stunned reaction and confusion of Valjean when the bishop doesn’t narc on him is amazing, and i have the feeling that it’s going to come around in a nice parallel much later when Javert is released. The bishop has bought his soul for god and

incredibly jarring transition (i.e. none) to Fantine and her girl gang (time and place well labelled, btw, 1815). They are having a picnic and their boyfriends have just left for a surprise--a relief to me in that i will be spared having to look at a second rat-face Tholomyes this week. So, Fantine’s friends are meant to be more girls she knows that Real Friends but WOW these are FIRST RATE MEAN GIRLS and they spend all their time talking about how dumb Fantine is, even to her face. and to be fair, she does seem naive to the point of being not all there to start? At the reveal of what’s happened the rest of them, after a moment they start laughing about this trick, but fantine just can’t and it is heartbreaking. In one major change--she is pregnant NOW and has not already had cosette which i suppose could make felix a bit less of a schmuck if he didn’t know but frankly i don’t care. he’s still trash. jump to just before she and suddenly 3 year old Cosette are about to leave Paris. She is a lovely sweet mom and baby Cosette is adorbs and it is just sad as hell...also the longer we see Fantine the more obvious her acting skill gets.

Thenardiers: the swing! Eponine and Azelma! (Baby C is Zelma’s age here, and Ponine is older) These Thenardiers are not looking likely to be played for laughs. The Thenardiess is a hard looking lady...not much indication of how bad they’ll be from the outset, but how quickly they start adding numbers together is a MASSIVE RED FLAG and personally i don’t trust anyone who can do math that fast just on principle. 

On to M-sur-M where we get an INFODUMP from the mayor’s...i dunno, secretary? overseer, something. whoever his is, he is an uncomfortably close talker in the sort of way that says he maybe wants to wrestle you into a broom closet somewhere. It’s ooky. He is like this with Javert, and...yeah. I would not. But anyway. Javert is clearly WELL CAST. He just seems perfect. there’s some talk of his law and order vibe that is bang on and also disturbing in how very cut and dried he sees things. Will he and the Mayor agree? He’s the mayor, so therefore he is not wrong. eeee. They do some really clever storytelling stuff here--we don’t see Javert and JVJ talk together(and the mayors identity stays secret from unknowing viewers a bit longer, too!), instead we go watch Fantine’s factory stuff play out for a bit--no fights over the letter, she has a girl who reads the letters for her and knows about her child, and this girl seems like...probably not the wisest choice of confidante...maybe Fantine IS a little dumb tbh? When Javert comes out of the mayors office we get Infodump Part 2, The Dumpenning. I think i like this device with the weird secretary? We get a lot of stuff about the mayors backstory, but it all feels really urgent because Javert Has Suspicions.it’s also all very brick accurate--including the mayor having gone into mourning at the death of the Bishop of Digne.

The firing plays out differently from the brick but in a way i enjoyed it because it is, stunningly, Even More Unfair. Also, she has a real reason to be bitter and think Madeleine is a hypocrite (her word here), when actually douchbag secretary is the problem! The girl who is the cause of everything apologises to her on the way out and Fantine’s reactions in extreme close up killed me: It is us little miserable people who always end up hurting each other. This is not a subtle show at times? But it does what it does really well.

The final event is the cart sequence (starring M. le Maire’s glorious hair, Hugoesque high forehead, and a mud mask that truly has to be seen to be believed. We end on Javert’s assertion that he has only ever seen one person who could do what he has just done. A convict, Jean Valjean. End of episode,you cliffhanging bastards. I bet in 1964 there were some SHOOK Italian people freaking right out that they had to wait a week to see what happen next.

So far this is seriously the best adaptation I think i’ve ever seen? It’s super faithful to the source material in both events and tone, and the things that are cut or added are all in service to good story telling. Like--the petit Gervais thing? You don’t need it--you can see Valjean’s whole world shifting in the conversation with the bishop! No need to even show Tholomyes and co, they’ve already left and in four sentences and a ridiculous letter we truly know all we had to about their useless hides. I’m really looking forward to (crying my face off during) Part 2!

[lesamis]

@seagreeneyes hat auf deinen Eintrag geantwortet “so about valjean’s roar,”

oh man i won't have a chance to watch this until im back in the uk but like... the more i hear the more i'm 👀

it’s not a disaster!! parts are even. good? but Choices sure were made in this adaptation, and they involve not only valjean’s weird lion roar, but also certified weird attempts at grittiness

[wlwjorin]

my mom and i are a little bit stressed out i think.