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#My mom says Ricky Montgomery really wanted to stay with me because he loves me
lonely--seeker · 6 months
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My mom bought the ugliest ass little freak of a 3D printed alien, just because. It's supposed to be like, one of those phone holder thingies.
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mrsbrookegillespie · 3 years
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Line Without A Hook Alive!Luke x Reader (Part One)
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Based Of The Song Line Without A Hook by Ricky Montgomery 
Please Read Beforehand: If you know about what's going on with Charlie Gillespie, great, if you don't, great, please do not talk about it in the comments, or ask me about it, as the comments will be removed if so. I do not define a character by it's actor, so no bashing the character because of the drama that's going on. Please, and thank you.
Description: You are Alex's little sister. What happens when it gets addressed to him that Luke likes you?... And you might like him too. (Alive!Luke x Reader) (Alex x Sibling!Reader)
Warnings: Mild swearing, mild angst (because me), some fluff.
=Line Without a Hook=
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"I'm going to tell her," Luke announces.
"Tell her what?" Julie asks from the couch, calmly yet curiously.
Alex perks up on his stool, stopping his previous movements (twirling his drumsticks). "Who?" he asks, narrowing his eyes.
"Alex! I thought you were with Y/N today." Luke adjusts his vest.
Avoiding his questionable glares, Alex stands up. "So, who are you going to tell what?"    
"Oh-um-I-did I say something?" Luke stutters.
"Julie?" Alex calls out.
"What?" Julie continues to look down at her Biology textbook.
"It seems like you know who this "her" is. So spill? Is it someone you like, Luke? Why does Julie know, but not me?" Alex starts to get worked up.
"Oh, I know," Reggie adds, stupidly.
Luke gives Reggie a 'don't' look. "Yeah, it's someone I 'like', but Alex. Okay, I-I don't know how to tell you this, but... I-I like... Y/N," he admits, the end being barely audible.
Alex gives a blank stare towards Luke. "I'm sorry." He leans his ear closer. "Could you repeat that for me? Because I must have misheard. You like who?"
Luke gulps, swallowing down his fear. "I like Y/N," he repeats, slowly.
"I'm..." Alex takes a deep breath. "I'm going to..." His voice keeps failing him. "No."  
"No?" Luke questions. "You're saying I can't tell her I like her?"
"You cannot date her," Alex argues. "I don't care if she likes you back, you--no!" Alex gestures a strangling motion towards Luke. "You can't date my little sister." He points at Luke, before pacing around the studio.
"Alex," Julie joins, dragging out the syllables of his name. "Give Luke a chance, he is your best friend, can't you trust him?"  she advises.
"No!" Alex shouts. "I mean I trust you, but not with Y/N."
Luke's eyes widen. "That doesn't make any sense . What is that even supposed to mean?"
"It means! I've seen you take and throw away girls in the matter of days I'm not going to have you hurt her. She's already so fragile, and you'll only make it worse," Alex explains. "And if something happens between you two, and you can't stand to be near each other... You know who I'll choose to side on. If I ever had to choose between the band, and my sister. I'm going to choose her."
"But, I would never hurt her," he pauses. "You're not even going to give me a chance?!"
"When did this start?" Alex asks, urgently.
"When..." Luke lets out a shaky inhale. "When I first met her."
"I knew it! From the looks you were giving her, the compliments, how you wanted her to paint you, and now you have said painting in your room where anyone can see it, the way you gave her your clothes when she was cold, I knew it wasn't you being 'friendly'." Alex throws his hands up. "Why? Why is it the first time you actually 'like' someone it's the person I care about the most? Someone I'm related to? Someone I can't bear to see heartbroken?"
"But, I really like her, and I just want you to see--"
"I said no!" Alex snaps. "Listen closely, I'm going to tell you this one more time... No."
"Give me a reason why!" Luke defends. "A solid reason why."
Alex's eyes now a dark blue. "Because she's a lady, and you're just a boy."
"What?" Luke asks, taking it as an insult.
Reggie pops up from his criss cross position. "He said she's a lady, and you're--"
"You're just a line without a hook," Alex cuts Reggie off. "You'll never be able to handle her emotions, insecurities, feelings. And you--," Alex lets out a cold laugh, "--you will never be her first boyfriend, her first everything, because I know you'll screw up her expectations."
"What's going on?" Everyone turns their head towards the entrance.
"Y/N," Julie states, standing up. "I thought you weren't able to come by?"
"I'm very persuasive," she replies, breathless. "Alex?" she questions, averting her eyes between him and Luke.
"Y/N, how much did you...?" Alex's gaze softens seeing his little sister so vulnerable. "You're crying," he observes.
"No, I'm not," she weakly assures.
Her puffy red eyes, and pale complexion justifies her claims as false. "What's wrong?" Luke asks.
"You didn't answer my question." She ignores her friends, and brother's concern.
"I can explain," Alex starts.
Y/N runs off before he has the chance to get another word out. "Don't," Julie warns Luke who tries to go after her. "Alex, it's your sister, you need to talk to her about what she wants, I get it you're scared, and you care about her feelings, but she's very mature. And as her best friend, I also worry, but I trust her."
Alex looks as Julie who's giving him a pointed look. "I hate it when you're right."
He jogs off, trying to find her. Quickly spotting her sitting down one of the stone steps outside. "I'm too tired to run off any further."
Alex laughs despite the context. He walks up to sit down next to her. "What happened today?"
She shrugs. "Got my report card," she whispers.
"Y/N, I'm sorry are you--"
"No," she interrupts. She rustles through her backpack, pulling out the sheet of paper.
Alex gasps a little. "Straight A's?" She nods. "Y/N, that's incredible!" He hugs her. "I'm so happy for you." She lets out a small smile. "So, then why are you crying? This is great news."
"Because the only reason I'm getting these grades is because of you, Luke, and Reggie. Yes, Reggie." She giggles. "You underestimate him too much. You guys help me so much, and I'm--I guess--it's stupid," she ends up saying.
"What?"
"I just... I wish I could see you more, and not by lying to mom and dad about staying at Julie's. I wish they could just see how much you do for me, and love you no matter what for that. But, they're so close minded I can't even have my own guitar."
"I'm sorry," he whispers. "It's my fault."
She shakes her head. "That's not what I'm trying to say, it's not your fault."
"I should've just kept my secret between you and I."
"No!" She jumps up, scaring him. "That's the point, you took a risk, and I admire you for that. Do you know how many times a day I wish I can scream at them that I want to be an actor, and be in the music program at school? But, I can't because I'm scared, but then I see you with your band and how happy you are. And, I'm not happy!" I pause. "There's so many things I've been hiding from people, because I don't want to hurt them, and I'm scared of the outcome. But, if I live in fear, what kind of life will I be living?"
Alex eyes meet her with an unreadable glint. "God dammit, I hate it when you're right."
"What?" Y/N asks confused.
"Y/N, I am afraid of everything. But, mostly I'm afraid to see you grow up, and make your own decisions."
"Alex..." She sits back down. "I love you, and I get it, it's your job as a big brother to protect me, but I'm a tough girl, yes I have my own problems but when I'm with you, and your friends, and Julie those little things usually disappear. Because you guys make me feel more loved than anyone else." She hugs his side, him hugging back tightly.  
"You're growing up too fast," he utters.
She lets out a hearty laugh. "I learn from the best."
He shakes his head. "And if you want to date Luke, I won't stop you."
"What?!" Y/N exclaims, pulling away. "Date Luke?!" She gapes at him. "W-Why would you think...?"
Alex places a hand on hers. "It's obvious."
She rolls her eyes. "Yeah, there was that one time when we held hands and--"
Alex covers his ears. "Lalalala!" he sings. "I'll try to not be seriously weirded out by you two but please. I don't give a damn about the way you two touch when you're alone."
Y/N's face turns a bright red. "Noted."
They laugh at each other's uncomfortable glances. "Well." She raises an eyebrow at him. "There's now nothing stopping you."
She smiles widely, running off inside.
Alex lingers outside for a moment. He stares at the sky. "Wish me luck."
Word Count: 1522
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kkusuka · 3 years
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Third year songs <3
this is most of the thrid years- not all 
from my spotify liked playlist <3
comes with a side of slight character analysis 
These are my interpretations of HQ characters and these songs!!
Time-skip spoilers!! (very slight) 
---
Karasuno 
Daichi Sawamura
 Waiting for Superman- Daughtry
She's waiting for Superman
To lift her up
And take her anywhere
Show her love
And climbing through the air
Save her now
Before it's too late tonight
She's waiting for Superman
Daichi seems like he makes a  lot of promises, that he just can’t physically keep. He just has so many things going on that he just can’t pay attention to all of them at once. This leads to far too many forgotten dates and even more broken promises. You know its not his fault and he does too, he just can’t leave anyone hanging. 
Koushi Sugawara
 Island- Florida Georgia Line
We might as well be on an island
Like we're the last two on this Earth
Like we're frozen here in time
Like it's empty here tonight
I feel like suga likes to put himself back into happier times. And that he tries to hold into happy moments as they are happening. He says he is a man of the moment, but when he feels down, he tries to put himself back into the more joyous times. 
Asahi Azumane 
You say- Lauren Daigle 
You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
And you say I am held when I am falling short
And when I don't belong, oh You say I am Yours
And I believe (I)
Oh, I believe (I)
What You say of me (I)
I believe
Asahi is clearly very attached to how people perceive him. So when people shower him with compliments, he attaches onto them. He likes what makes him comfortable and he wants to stay comfortable for as long as he can. Words are important to him, so when he hears something bad it can ruin him for a while. He really does believe what the people he loves say to him. 
Kiyoko Shimizu
 Mothers daughter- Miley Cyrus 
Oh my gosh, she got the power
Oh, look at her, she got the power
So, so, so
Must be something in the water
Or that I'm my mother's daughter
The power this woman carries. She’s built her confidence and she’s not letting anyone ruin it for her. I truly believe that her friends all become more confident because she wants everyone around her to feel confident too. Since she doesn't speak all that much she lets her body language do most of the expression. 
--
Nekoma 
Tetsurō Kuroo
 High school sweethearts- Melanie Martinez 
Could you hold me through the night?
Put your lips all over my mine
Salty face when I start cryin'
Could you be my first time?
Eat me up like apple pie
Kuroo definitely takes trust very seriously. I feel he’s also really scared of someone breaking this trust, so he does form it with a lot of people. That saying if he does, he wants it to last forever.
 (...Step twoThis is a waste if you can't walk me down the finish line…) 
He truly believes in the people he surrounds himself with. 
Nobuyuki Kai 
Kill the Lights- Set it Off
Now I am cutting ties clean off
And I can breathe at last
So we all stand enthralled by this bland curtain call
And the truth we pursue as we all, we all beg you to
 Kai seems like he wasn't really that invested in volleyball, so having all these passionate people around him was a shock.  But he really got into third year, and he wants people to feel that passion too. In the back of his mind he feels bad for not feeling it like the rest of the team, but since looking in the past means nothing now, he tries to move on. 
Morisuke Yaku
 Mama- Mcr
And when we go don't blame us, yeah
We'll let the fires just bathe us, yeah
You made us oh so famous;
We'll never let you go
And when you go don't return to me my love
I mean, he is part of the mom squad. But it's ever so slightly more deep. I’m gonna say it's momma-bird syndrome. He doesn't want people to move on without him, seeing people achieve their dreams is great but he doesn't want you to do it if that means loving him. 
--
Seijoh
Tōru Oikawa
Prom Queen- Beach Bunny
Maybe I should try harder
You should lower your expectations
I'm no quick-curl barbie
I was never cut out for prom queen
I feel like oikawa is constantly feeling like he has to catch up to everyone around him. At some point in Argentina he came to the conclusion that he was good enough and didn't need to rise to anyone's standards of him, but when he got picked for the national team everything came back. He still has all of those feelings from high-school. Never making it to nationals, feeling like he failed his team. 
Issei Matsukawa
Bubblegum Bitch- Marina and the diamonds 
Got a figure like a pin-up, got a figure like a doll
Don't care if you think I'm dumb, I don't care at all
Candy bear, sweetie pie, wanna be adored
I'm the girl you'd die for
I feel like to earn Mattsun’s trust, he would put you through some ridiculous trial of sorts. I also feel that he is very comfortable with who he is, and he takes no shit about it. But that comes with the fact that he rarely takes fault in things, and that sparks arguments. He’ll use your love for him against you, he’ll be as cold as he can muster, until YOU take fault. 
Takahiro Hanamaki
 OUT THE ROOF- Chase Atlantic 
Yeah, we stay lit
We fuck bitches, pop on pillies, that is it, yeah
Holy moly, holy shit, yeah
Me and all my people are heaven sent, yeah, yup
9this is a strait vibe for Makki) 
I feel like Makki drowns his problems out with meaningless activities. Like smoking or one-night stands. He’d rather drown out his problems then have them in his  face. Or when he’s forced to face them, he’ll deflect until he has nothing else to deflect. Because when you’re high there nothing to worry about! Why stress about meaningless problems when he can be having fun!  
Hajime Iwaizumi
 Endlessly- The Cab
Yeah, your friends may think I'm crazy
Cause they can only see
I'm not perfect, but I swear, I'm perfect for you.
And there's no guarantee
That this will be easy.
It's not a miracle you need, believe me.
Yeah, I'm no angel, I'm just me
But I will love you endlessly.
Iwa knows that he can't be there for you all the time. Physically he tries his best, mentally he can help when he can. But you both know that you're perfect for one another. He just can't help but listen to the people around him sometimes. You deserve the world, but he doesn't know if he can give that to you. 
--
Fukurodani
Kōtarō Bokuto 
Prima Donna- Andrew Lloyd Webber 
Can you bow out when they're shouting your name?
Think of how they all adore you
We’ve all seen how Bokuto gets what he’s praised for literally anything remotely impressive. So that makes him a cannon prima donna! but that also means the lows and really bad mood swings. This song just fits him so well it’s scary.  
-- 
Shiratorizawa
Wakatoshi Ushijim
 More- Usher 
If you really want more, scream it out louder,
If you on the floor, bring out the fire,
And light it up, take it up higher,
Gotta push it to the limit, give it more.
This seems kinda obvious, but Ushijima never gives up. Ever since he was a kid, he set a goal for himself and he went beyond what he even set out for. And that comes with a lot of work and training for every new level of volleyball. He’s just going to get better and better until he retires, or is forced to retire. 
Eita Semi
 strawberries and cigarettes- troye sivan
Long nights, daydreams
Sugar and smoke rings, I've been a fool
But strawberries and cigarettes always taste like you
Headlights, on me
Racing to 60, I've been a fool
But strawberries and cigarettes always taste like
Blue eyes, black jeans
Lighters and candy, I've been a fool
But strawberries and cigarettes always taste like you
I feel like semi always thinks about how Shirabu replaced him on the starting line-up. But he’s mostly gotten over it, but certain things bring him back into that stage of his life. Then the cycle starts all over again. He constantly looks back on the game against Karasuno and thinks about wat would have happened if he was the setter instead. 
Reon Ōhira
 Remember when- Chris Wallace 
So can we push push push rewind,
Go go back in time,
When we were kids sneaking bottles of wine,
Take take take me back, I wanna go back,
Back to what we had! Do you remember when we started this mess,
My heart was beating out of my chest!,
Remember when we stole your dad's car,
Reon gives me the vibe that his days at Shiratorizawa were some of the best of his life. How can they not be? He made the greatest friends of his life there. And I also feel like he looks back on them a bit more than he wants to admit.
Satori Tendō
 This Side of Paradise- Coyote theory
Are you lonely?
Passion is crashing as we speak
You seem so lonely
You're the ground my feet won't reach
So if you're lonely
Darling you're glowing
If you're lonely come be lonely with me.
I get the vibe that Tendou attaches himself to whatever makes him feel wanted/safe. (ex. volleyball) he knows it isn't healthy, but he can't help it. This does lead to him completely distancing himself from you over and over because he thinks you’ll leave him. 
Hayato Yamagata- House of gold- Twenty one Pilots 
I will make you
Queen of everything you see
I'll put you on the map
I'll cure you of disease (Ooh)
And since we know that dreams are dead
And life turns plans up on their head
I will plan to be a bum
So I just might become someone
Even though we don't see a lot of him, I get the feeling he treats people really well. Like he cherishes people a lot more than some of them deserve. As you can see this leads to some unfair relationships and toxic people. He just wants to hold on until a good person comes along. 
--
Nohebi 
Suguru Daishō
Mr Loverman - Ricky Montgomery 
I'm Mr. Loverman
And I miss my lover, man
I'm Mr. Loverman
Oh, and I miss my lover
I feel like this was way too obvious, but it really is his song. It’s literally cannon, every lyric in this song is what happened with Mika. but in the end he got her back and made his promise  to be a better loverman <3. 
Kazuma Numai
 Nonstop- Drake 
Future took the business and ran it for me
I let Ollie take the owl, told him brand it for me
I get two million a pop and that's standard for me
Like I went blind dog, you gotta hand it to me
He looks and acts like a guy who listens to drake. He just seems like a guy who won't stop or give up even when things take a turn. He’ll just keep fighting until nothing’s left. 
Kōji Hiroo
 At the Wheel- Colorblind 
I need something to wake me up
It's never strong enough
I'm just getting colder and starting over
Going numb is just the way I run from
All my problems when I can't solve them
Need to break away
Escape the way I'm feeling
Hate to be fake, but I'm just dealing
This one doesn't really have a true reason, i really just felt like this was his song.  Sorry just the vibe. 
;)
Inarizaki
Shinsuke Kita
 Oh Ms Believer- twenty one pilots 
Oh, Ms. Believer, my pretty sleeper
Your twisted mind is like snow on the road
Your shaking shoulders prove that it's colder
Inside your head than the winter of dead
I will tell you I love you
But the muffs on your ears will cater your fears
My nose and feet are running as we start
To travel through snow
Together we go
I feel like kita is unintentionally cold towards the world, like he wants to open up but can't figure out how. But in turn if you can get him to feel “warmer” (get closer to him) he’ll share everything with you, almost oversharing. Just because he can't help it, he’s kept it all in for so long. Sometimes he just needs someone to hold him and make HIM feel better, because he does it for everyone. If you can manage all of this i feel like he’ll keep you with him forever. 
Ren Ōmimi
 Armor- Landon Austin
I'm not bullet proof when it comes to you
Don't know what to say when you made me the enemy
After the war is won
There's always the next one
I'm not bullet proof when it comes to you
I feel like not a lot of people approach ren because of how intimidating he looks. This has made him weary when people are really enthused to first meet him, because he thinks it’s a joke. After getting over that hurdle i feel like he just isn't an open person so it’ll take a long time to even get to a point where he trusts you. Hence the other wars after the first. 
Aran Ojiro-
 Never really over- Katy perry
Two years, and just like that, my head still takes me back
Thought it was done, but I guess it's never really over
Oh, we were such a mess, but wasn't it the best?
Thought it was done, but I guess it's never really over
Just because it's over doesn't mean it's really over
And if I think it over, maybe you'll be coming over again
And I'll have to get over you all over again
After all of these years, I really don't think Aran has truly gotten over losing at nationals in third year. And now on the national team he sees Hinata and Kageyama all the time and it takes him back. It makes him re-feel all the emotions he felt after the game. It hurt him to know that he gave his everything and still lost.  Like when he’s in bed he puts himself back into that self loathing phase of his life. 
Michinari Akagi
Try Hard - 5sos
It's obvious she’s so out of reach
And I'm finding it hard 'cause
She makes me feel, makes me feel
Like I try, like I try, like I'm trying too hard
'Cause I'm not being me
And it’s getting me down that
She makes me think, makes me think
That I try, that I try, that I'm trying too hard again
Akagi gives off boy best friend vibes.  But like to EVERYONE, so the person he liked just thought he was making fun of them and he didn't like them back. And i feel like that kinda traumatized him a bit, so when he got a new s/o he tried really really hard to make them special, but the same thing happened. 
i may do some with the second and first years, idk this took so long :)
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grasslandgirl · 4 years
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oooo i sent it more as a fix prompt but also from one adhdhead to another i’m glad we agree!! thinking about sam and peter study dates
ahhhh fvbjsjvkbjf im so dumb i’m sorry i saw “adhd sam” and my brain just yelled YEAH. RADICAL. and that was it kjdvskfj 
that being said i’ve been haunted by ricky montgomery’s Line Without a Hook + eldonado since yesterday so........ hmmm.... (oh no this got wildly out of hand)
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Peter threw himself wholeheartedly into anything he worked on. It was just how he was built. Peter was either on or he was off, and it was hard to get him to change course once he was en route. Head down, eyes narrowed, his whole body angled down at his computer like if he got his face close enough to the screen, it would start streaming information right to and from his brain. His hair would flop, unnoticed, into his eyes and he would shove his glasses so far up his nose that Sam would worry he was going to bruise his nose. 
All this to say, of course, that study dates were something of an occupational hazard when you were best friends with Peter Maldonado.
And also secretly in love with him.
Well, mostly-secretly. Secretly to Peter, and probably only Peter, because Sam was 90% sure everyone else was in on the secret and knew how hopelessly gone Sam was for his oblivious best friend. Gabi was the only one who ever said anything to him about it, though. So, little victories. 
Finals were looming over their heads like a dark storm cloud. Looming on the horizon, fucking with barometric pressure just enough to make everyone jumpy and nervous. Peter worked well under pressure- which was a good thing, because Sam knew Peter put more pressure on himself than anyone else did- but he would always show up the night before a big exam and demand that Sam help him study. It was so commonplace after seven years of friendship that Sam didn’t question it anymore. Mostly.
There was always that small, hopeful, and nervous voice in the back of his head asking why Peter always studied with Sam when he studied just as well on his own. The only answer he could think of was that Peter knew Sam studied better with him there. But that wasn’t- that couldn’t- Sam always shut that annoying little voice down before it spiraled any further.
It didn’t do anyone any good to overcomplicate things that were objectively very simple. Peter liked routine, they were best friends, Sam was the only one who could talk Peter down from an academics-induced panic attack at 2 in the morning the night before a final exam. 2 + 2 = 4. Simple math. 
Sam was slumped on his back, halfway falling off his bed with his head and shoulders draped over the side of his mattress. The notebook he was supposed to be reviewing was abandoned, sitting on his stomach. Peter was sitting at Sam’s desk, leaned over and scowling at his laptop. 
It was unfair, really, how pretty Peter looked illuminated by the blue-white light of his notes document. Sam had the perfect view of Peter’s upside down profile, all furrowed eyebrows and clenched jaw and dark hair that’d had hands run through it too many times. It was late and Sam’s brain was wrung out and exhausted, only able to focus on Peter’s expression as he mouthed whatever obsolete moment in history he was trying to commit to memory, and the looping chorus of a Carly Rae Jepsen song he’d had stuck in his head for the last two hours. 
A big part of being friends with Peter Maldonado was knowing when to draw the line. 
“Pete, dude.” Peter looked up, blinking away the lines of notes Sam could almost see in his eyes. “It’s the middle of the night. Either we know it or we don’t at this point.”
“You think we should cut our losses?”
“I know you can survive on three hours of sleep and five cups of coffee, dude, but I can’t.” Sam tapped himself on the forehead. “This baby needs r&r or I can’t fucking function.”
“Right, right. What time is it?”
Sam sat up- an impressive showcase of his abs that Peter didn’t notice, of course- and dug around in his rumpled comforter for his phone. “12:30.”
Peter sighed heavily, tipping his head back against the headrest of Sam’s computer chair. “I should go home.”
“Dude. Just-” Sam was his own worst enemy sometimes- “just spend the night.”
“Yeah? Your moms won’t mind?”
“Nah, I’m pretty sure they assumed that’s what was happening when you showed up after dinner.”
It was probably just a weird reflection from the computer light on one of Sam’s posters onto Peter’s face. There was no way that Peter was blushing. 
“Anyway,” he continued, shoving his textbook and notes off of his bed instead of looking at Peter, “I’m gonna drive you tomorrow anyway, right? Saves me a trip.”
Peter closed his laptop with a soft click. “Yeah, sure, if it’s not-”
“It’s cool, dude, don’t be weird. Just two bros-”
“Chilling in a hot tub?”
Sam prayed Peter couldn’t see the hot blush he felt rising to his cheeks. Five feet apart cause they’re not gay. “Whatever you want, dude.”
Peter knew Sam was gay. He was the first person Sam had come out to- followed closely by Gabi and his moms. But there was a difference, Sam was sure, to having your best friend be gay versus having your best friend be gay and in love with you. An invisible line in the sand that would shift their relationship forever. Sam didn’t want to test how that shift would happen. Didn’t want to risk losing his best friend on the off chance that he wasn’t alone. 
“Right.” Peter repeated. 
They went to bed in pieces: Sam pulling on an old pair of sweatpants and throwing one to Peter, Peter neatly stacking all his notes on one corner of Sam’s desk, Sam kicking all his schoolwork to the edges of his bedroom floor as opposed to the middle of it, Peter brushing his teeth with the same toothbrush he’d kept in the Ecklund house since they were ten, Sam turning off all the lights, Peter wandering back into his bedroom, Peter’s hair turning to gold and ink in the faint streetlight coming in from the window, the two of them curling up back to back in Sam’s bed just like they always did.
And then it was dark and quiet and all Sam could hear was the faint sound of Peter’s breathing beside him. The warmth from Peter’s back mere inches from Sam’s. They’d fallen asleep next to each other a million times, but Sam still felt electric with the proximity. How easy it would be to just- stretch his legs out and wind his feet with Peter’s, to flip over and press his nose into the soft place where his hairline met the back of his neck, to whisper something hopeful and mortifying into the still night air and hear Peter’s breath catch in silent response.
Sam stayed still, held himself perfectly motionless lest he finally show his hand. And eventually, they both fell asleep.
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Peter woke up surrounded by Sam. The pillow he’d pressed his face into smelled like Sam’s hair and the sheets on his bed were the same tacky Star Wars ones he’d been so proud of in the seventh grade and the bed was warm with Sam’s body next to him. For an instant, Peter let himself consider it: waking up next to Sam like this every day. Falling asleep with his arms wrapped around Sam and waking up with his head on his chest. 
He squeezed his eyes shut against the glaring dawn light, and against the daydream that quickly threatened to spin out of control. He could still hear Sam’s sleep heavy breathing behind him.
Slowly, Peter sat up in bed, pushing his hair out of his face and scrounging the nightstand as quietly as he could for his glasses. He allowed himself a single glance at Sam- sleep soft and sprawled out on the bed, his hand inches from where Peter’s shoulder had been, like he’d been reaching out in his sleep- before standing up and grabbing his phone from where he’d left it charging on the desk.
“Sam.” Peter poked his shoulder. “Sam.”
He groaned incoherently, but rolled over, which was a good sign. 
“You have to get up, dude.”
“Breakfast?” Sam mumbled.
“Yeah,” Peter laughed a little, “I’m sure your mom’s making breakfast.”
“Urrgghhh.”
Peter grabbed the clothes he’d left in the corner the night before and pulled an old t shirt out of Sam’s closet. “I’m stealing a shirt.”
“Oh,” Sam said, half sitting up and blinking the sleep out of his eyes. “Yeah- good, okay.”
“I’m gonna go-” Peter gestured weakly towards the door, and beyond it, the bathroom. Sam peered up at him, the light from the window hitting his face in a single pane, like something out of a sun-soaked French movie. Like this was the moment where one of them broke the uncertainty, the silence. Peter could see the scene unfolding in his mind’s eye, like he’d seen it a hundred times. He’d say something like, did you sleep well? And Sam would answer, better with you here, and Peter would oh-so-slowly close the distance and drop his jeans to the floor and Sam would arch up and meet him halfway and the camera would pan away, leaving them both washed in the golden early-morning light. “Bathroom. I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” Peter said, and closed the bedroom door behind him. 
He splashed water on his face and combed through his hair with his fingers, throwing on yesterday’s jeans and Sam’s t shirt under his sweatshirt and hoping it wasn’t obvious to anyone else how badly Peter wished every morning could be like this. 
He left the bathroom quickly and perched on the edge of Sam’s bed, scrolling through twitter while Sam did his hair in the bathroom. 
Breakfast was quiet and normal and filled with the usual mini-dramas in the Ecklund house. Kara didn’t want PB&J for lunch and one of Sam’s moms left the flat iron on in their bathroom and Leah almost burned the eggs and Sam spent half of breakfast finishing the math homework he’d almost forgotten he had. 
Sam drove them both to school early for the Morning Show, laughing and singing along to his “perfectly composed drive to school playlist,” and the rest of the day went on normally. He took his history test and saw Sam in math class and they sat with Ming and Randall and Phil at lunch. 
But all the while, Peter couldn’t shake the feeling that something had shifted. He’d had... feelings for Sam for a while, unquantifiable and nebulous. He’d categorized them all: the way his stomach twisted when Sam smiled at him crookedly, the skipped beat of his heart when Sam slung his arm around Peter’s shoulders, how his hands got clammy when he caught Sam watching him out of the corner of his eye, how he always found ways to hangout during and after school. But he’d never dared to name the feeling. Defining it meant- meant he should do something about it. Made it real. 
But that morning, waking up next to Sam, borrowing his t shirt to wear to school, falling asleep next to each other- they were all things they’d done a million times before. Peter’s chest ached with the normalcy, the domesticity of it. 
Peter’s fingers itched to try and piece it all together, his feelings and Sam’s and their history together. String it all together on a corkboard until it made sense. But Peter knew it wouldn’t work. Not without Sam there to see the bigger picture in the first place. It’s why they worked so well together; Peter would gather and organize all the information, but Sam was the one that knew how to put it together, knew how to see the forest from the trees in a way Peter never could on his own. Even if he tried to map out the snarl of feelings in his chest, Peter knew he’d be left with a labyrinth of post-its and red string without Sam there to untangle it for him.
Dramatic irony, he supposed.
Peter caught the bus home, Sam had something for theatre after school, and spent the entire ride with his music turned as high as it would go, trying not to think about Sam as he stared out the window. 
The problem, Peter realized, with being a self-professed movie lover, is that your brain starts to treat life like a movie. He could imagine a dozen different ways his life could spiral out from this moment, a dozen different movie time-lines he could find himself in. The tragedy, where he never tells Sam and lives his entire life in uncertainty. The drama, where he tells Sam and it tears their friendship apart. The tragic love story, where he and Sam are together and happy until they’re not. The comedy, where Sam laughs him off and they go back to their friendship with a tiny crack between them, spackled over with laughter that’s just a little strained. 
The romantic comedy, where everything goes perfect and they ride out into the sunset. 
Life wasn’t like the movies, though, nothing ever went as simple or as straightforward or as cinematic. There isn’t a director behind the camera who can call cut and change the scene halfway through. There aren’t any sweeping cinematic shots with atmospheric indie pop playing in the background.
It was just Peter, and Sam, and the creeping uncertainty hanging between them. 
Right before dinner that night, Peter got a text from Sam.
sam: thanks for the study help last night, felt good about the test today
sam: don’t stress i know youre freaking out about it too
sam: you did great on the test pete i know it
Peter blinked at his phone, at the unspoken I know you hidden inbetween the lines. Sam knew him better than anyone, knew his habits and his worries and his annoying little tendencies. And he was still there. 
And that, Peter realized, said more than anything else.
Love wasn’t a panoramic of a passionate kiss at sunset. It was knowing someone, learning them backwards and forwards, all the good and the bad pieces of them. It was staying, not despite everything, but because of it.
Peter loved him. It was as simple and as complicated as that.
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The doorbell rang at the end of dinner. Sam rushed to get to the door before his sisters- if he was lucky, it was their batty old neighbor Mrs Gorschtt and she would prattle on for fifteen minutes about her cat, shove a cake into Sam’s hands, and get him out of having to help clean the kitchen.
But when he opened the door, it wasn’t Mrs Gorschtt standing on the front porch, it was Peter. 
“Hey, dude, what’s up? We don’t have like a math test tomorrow I blanked on, do we?”
“Huh?” Peter blinked at him, “No, no.”
“So, what’s up?” Sam stepped out onto the porch beside Peter, closing the front door behind him. Maybe he could still get out of washing the dinner dishes. 
“Uh- so, the thing is-” Peter muttered, twisting one of the strings from his hoodie between his fingers. Sam’s stomach dropped; something was wrong. Peter was nervous, uncertain about something. He wasn’t looking Sam in the eye, and he had one arm wrapped around his stomach like a shield. His head started spinning with a million different things Peter could be upset about, but the thing Sam kept coming back to- he knew.
Somehow, Peter had finally figured him out. And he was coming to tell Sam- what? That they couldn’t be friends anymore? That Sam had made it weird? 
“Pete-” Sam started, trying to cover his bases, trying to fix this before his best friendship in the world went up in flames.
“You’re the only one who calls me that.” Peter interrupted, finally looking at Sam.
“What?”
“Pete. You’re the only one.”
“I- we’re friends, dude, I’m allowed to have nicknames.” Sam tried to laugh, but it sounded forced, even to his ears.
“I- I know,” Peter’s eyebrows were furrowed, and he was staring at Sam like he was a page of history notes he was trying to memorize. “I got your text.”
“Oh, uh okay.”
“Sammy, I uh, I have to say something, and I want you to promise you’ll let me finish.”
Sam’s stomach dropped even further. Here it was. The end of everything. “Right,” he tried to smile at Peter, “sure dude, whatever you need.”
Peter nodded. “You’ve been my best friend since the fifth grade. You know all of my secrets, all the bad things that I don’t tell anyone else. You know that I don’t like orange-flavored things because I had too much orange-flavored medicine as a child and that I stay up too late studying the night before a test and I panic after I finish taking it. You watch movies I recommend, even though you think High School Musical 2 is the best movie ever made, you- god-” Peter scrubs his hands through his hair, clenching his eyes closed briefly- “this would be so much easier if I could just- you can see the big picture. Like with this you could just- take the words, the discrete pieces of data and put them together. Make it cohesive, coherent. I’m not making sense,” he muttered.
“Pete-”
“I don’t want to just spend the night after study dates.” Peter blurted out abruptly. His face froze, like he wasn’t sure what he just said, like he was terrified Sam was going to misunderstand. “I- I mean. I want to do real dates. With you. And spend the night and wear your clothes and have my hoodies smell like you and watch you spin around in the morning show chairs without having to worry about you catching me and I want to see you without gel in your hair and I want to lean against you when we have movie nights and-”
“Pete.”
“Sammy,” Peter said, kind of breathless. “Go on a date with me.”
“Like a study date?” Sam said, also kind of breathless.
“Like a date-date. Please.”
“Yeah. Yeah, just- come here-” and then Sam’s hands were on either side of Peter’s face and his fingers were in his hair and Peter’s hands were caught in Sam’s sweater and then-
Peter kissed like he didn’t know all the answers, for once, and he was okay with it. Peter kissed like he was memorizing everything about the moment. Peter kissed like he was planning on replaying it like an old video tape, over and over until the tape wore thin and tore. Peter kissed like he could hear the orchestra playing behind them, like they were in some cheesy made for tv rom com and were about to get their happy ending.
Peter kissed like Sam was his happy ending.
Finally, they broke apart- more to catch their breath than anything else. 
“Hell of a study date,” Sam breathed, unable to stop smiling.
“Shut up.” Peter was smiling, too.
And, leaning back in, Sam did.
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