#NINA HOW MUCH HAVE U HAD TO DRINK TODAY ….

[bibleofficial]

at breakfast this morning i was talking to the guide abt speed running the vatican & she got a bowl of ‘blueberries’ but they were fucking OLIVES

[shveris]

malibu

mysta was scared of the ocean but he was glad shu brought him to the beach.

tags: bubble tea shop au, strangers to lovers, my writing style drifts into the poetry area some times good luck deciphering that

chapter two: i

the way he jumped at the soft vibrations of his phone made mysta groan internally. since when was he so desperate?

shu: it was okay, today was busier than usual :(

mysta: damn prolly cuz of the fair

shu: ahh yea u might be right mr detective

mysta: 🕵🏻 !!

the brunette put his phone away to bury his face in his pillow. exchanging number with shu was the bravest thing he has done since asking that one girl in kindergarten for the black crayon, just to get scolded for making her cry. at least shu didn’t seem to mind texting him every now and then, even replying during his shifts and sending him pictures of drinks he made for himself.

it may have only been a week but mysta felt like shu has always been a part of his life; a constant, flowing with each other like waves (rocking back and forth in a steady and unchanging rhythm) and he felt so incredibly ridiculous for thinking about that innocent angel in that way. he didn’t even swear or curse, he’d notice, and it made his chest arch in a way he can’t seem to explain to himself even.

every word shu exchanged with him gave him a certain sense of nostalgia and comfort, his voice wrapping around him like a warm blanket during london’s grey winter and mysta felt like the world would finally be at peace with shu existing next to him.

his phone vibrated, startling him once again.

shu: wanna go to the fair tmrw? c:

mysta could hear the rushing of his own blood in his ears, forgetting to breathe for a second while hovering his thumbs above his keyboard. he was sure the train of thoughts he followed a split second ago, had just vanished into thin air, along side any other coherent words of the english language inside his brain.

mysta: yea!

mysta: dont u have work tho?

shu: o yea u can pick me up at 8:40

mysta: sounds goodd

everything inside his mind was racing; racing against the suddenly rapid beating of his heart; the realization of spending an evening with shu trying to kick in. does this count as a date?, he asked himself, trying to calm down.

he sat up in his bed, combing a hand through his ash brown hair. mysta felt like he was sinking into the pit of his darkest thoughts, low self-esteem nagging at every inch of his skin — sickness was setting at the pit of his stomach, adrenaline making him dizzy.

mysta knew he had to keep himself grounded, but not at the bottom of the ocean. long nails with chipped black paint leaving red lines on the skin of his throat and the soft burn of it reminded him of diving down too deep, the lack of air making him lightheaded in a way he’d never enjoy.

when mysta left the house the next evening, nina was nowhere to be seen (not that he would care because he didn’t) and the summer sun was still out and very much too bright for him — at least malibu was giving him good reasons to wear his sunglasses again because the uk surely didn’t — but he could handle it now.

the shop still had all its lights on, though the sign at the door said “closed” and shu, on the inside, was wiping down the tables while one of his co-workers stood at the sink. mysta wasn’t sure if he was allowed to enter so he softly knocked on the glass of the door. shu shot him a happy smile and a thumbs up before he turned around, speaking to his colleague.

two minutes passed before the ravenette came out of the store, a small bag strapped around his chest. they awkwardly looked at each other before mysta remembered “this might be a bloody date” and offered shu open arms, a shy invitation for a hug, and how could shu ever say no to a blushing mysta.

“how was your shift?”, the ashen asked after they parted, feeling awfully stiff — mysta will probably never get used to physical touch as he grew up without it, and strange things scared him, but the bad attempt at small talk could’ve also been a reason for the sudden amount of stress. to his relief, shu answered with a genuine smile and words, and it felt like a dream come true, that’s how deep mysta had his head in the ocean.

the walk to the fair was short, filled with a light breeze, warm words, lucid laughter. the bright and colored lights of the venue made shu look like a painting mysta could stare at for hours and he’d never get tired of it.

seagulls around were patiently waiting for opportunities to strike for food, screaming children and loud voices went blurry in a hunch the closer they got.

mysta would be lying if he’d say he liked those kinds of events — with a lot of people, colors, sounds, smells —, most of the time he avoided them for the sake of not getting sensory overloaded. but tonight, he could feel it, would be different. tonight he had shu with him, shu who took away all his attention, even on the ferris wheel when they could look over all of malibu; all the way to point dume while catching the silhouettes of the santa monica mountains, with the channel islands and santa barbara to the other side.

the various food stalls did a great job at making mysta a poor man, which was also partly his fault since he insisted on paying for everything (much to shu’s disagreeing (cute) pout). they had also found a takoyaki stand and after tasting their food, the ravenette had told mysta he could make better ones at home, which he took for a future invitation and, perhaps, a second date.

the sky above was dark and clear, mysta had asked to put his sunglasses into shu’s bag and he could only see a few stars above them, the lights of the city cancelling out magic he liked to watch when in the uk; the part of london he lived in was small and not as lively as malibu. over the years the brunette taught himself to love the loneliness those suns, constellations and galaxies would grace him with. the sky felt wide and open, he could see danger approaching, he could prepare himself to get lost — the ocean on the other hand was blurry, filled with pressure and everything humanity didn’t dare touch.

“frick.” the ravenette looked over his shoulder, someone had run into him and didn’t even apologize. mysta didn’t like how packed it was but chaos was a natural occurrence when it came to darkness, he should know and shu knew it better.

“c’mere”, mysta shuffled as close as he could to shu and grabbed his hand, he was so scared of losing shu in the crowd — it would mean getting a panic attack in the middle of a dozen people, strangers, people he didn’t know- oh god, why were there so many people? air, where was all the air all of the sudden? why did he even say yes to this? this was an awful idea, he should leave, immediately-

“let’s go over here”, shu swiftly intertwined their fingers, dragging the ashen through the stream of chatter to a more open area with activity booths and arcade machines. his brows were furrowed when he looked at mysta’s face in the dim light the lanterns and decorations offered: “deep breaths, deep breaths.” shu’s free hand made up and down movements with every breath he took, hoping the visualization would help mysta. people passing them looked at shu with judging gazes, and usually he would go hide somewhere the sun would never reach, but mysta’s panicked expression felt like a hit to the stomach.

“okay, okay”, the ashen whispered after he felt more stable again, “okay, i’m okay.”

“you are, you’re doing well. i’m here, i gotchu.” shu looked at him with so much innocent determination, it washed away the strain on mysta’s lungs. his sunset eyes stared into shu’s before he was starting to take in his surroundings again.

“let’s relax a bit”, the ravenette grinned, relieved, before giving mysta’s hand a gently squeeze — and both of them didn’t want to let go of each other — before dragging him to a stand that seemed to be advertising goldfish catching.

they watched each other play their rounds, giddy laughter whenever the little fish managed to jump or wiggle off the flimsy scoop net and in the end neither of them managed to get a good catch (or any catch, really).

mysta wasn’t quite surprised when he found out shu was above averagely skilled at crane games although he still couldn’t stop himself from staring at the ravenette in awe. mysta was holding onto their sixth pokémon plush toy and he could already feel all the kids around them staring in envy.

“another one, let’s gooo, babyyy”, shu presented a snorlax to the brunette and maybe it was the way his eyebrows rose or how he hold it up to him, but mysta couldn’t stop himself from letting out a small laugh.

“come on”, shu grinned and helped the other one with carrying the different plushies. mysta looked at him, puzzled: “where to?”

“the kids will eat you up alive if we won’t share some of our prizes”, the ravenette giggled and mysta swore someone just stabbed him with amor’s arrow, right through his chest, into his fast beating heart.

it didn’t even take them five minutes to hand out all the toys and when it came down to the last one, shu insisted in keeping it. mysta didn’t mind, he won it himself and he personally had no need for more plushies as his bed at home in the uk was already overflowing with those.

“so vulpix is your favorite pokémon?”, mysta grinned but instead of answering, shu’s face flushed bright red, which mysta didn’t even notice due to all the different colored lights painting the scene like they were in a dreamy movie.

“y- yeah!” mysta had to stifle a giggle, shu was an awful liar.

after about two hours shu could feel exhaustion settle in his bones, he bet he could stay longer if it weren’t for his shift. walking and standing around started to hurt his feet and his legs felt heavy to a point where they had to sit down on one of the benches for some rest.

“i’ll bring you home once you feel be’er again”, the ashen said and the tone in his voice was unfamiliar to shu, though he didn’t dislike it. he’s never heard such a determent mysta so he welcomed the change of air, feeling glad to be seen as trusted enough to see an unfiltered version of his new friend.

“sure”, shu smiled, tired but still welcoming, “we can walk along the beach, i live nearby.” mysta got up, dusted off his pants, and offered his hand to the other. shu grabbed it without hesitation and thanked him after getting pulled up. their fingers intertwined automatically and the both of them enjoyed the subtly touch of warmth, the secure feeling it gave them. they were each others life boats, softly seesawing on a never ending navy fabric between the stars mysta never got to reach and the salty water shu had seen one too many times in his life.

once they walked off the fair, the loud chatter got drowned in beach sounds. they had to cross a small plastered part with vehicles parking left and right, trailers attached to most of them. mysta was almost fascinated with the bizarre sight until a group of four men stopped them in their path.

mysta may have grown up in a secluded area of london, but distance had never stopped gangs. this wasn’t the first time he’s encountered gang members and it will never be his last — simply because he did not possess something even close to luck — so his first instinct was stepping in front of shu. there was no way he’ll let them harm the obsidian haired and if this would be some of those crazy cliché manga he read in his spare time, he’d stab out their eyes because “how dare they lay their eyes on an angelic being like shu yamino”.

“you’re kosaka’s kid, right?”, one of them asked and mysta got upset at the darkness he usually loved to bathe in because right now, he couldn’t see shit, only the silhouettes of four strongly build men with shoulders wider than his fridge.

“kosaka’s what?”, the ashen asked in confusion, dragging shu behind him even closer to his back (and to be really honest with himself: the weird angle his arm was at began to hurt him), trying to shield him away.

“don’t play stupid, boy, we saw you with her multiple times. even the color of your hair is similar.” oh. oh. they meant nina. mysta completely forgot about her last name as he associated it with his dad; all memories and information in relation to him got shoved into the back of his mind when he was old enough to understand that he was the reason his mom cried every evening for three years.

“i seriously don’t know who you’re talking about, i don’t know no kosaka or wha’ever you mean, dude”, he explained slowly, eyes narrowed, tone cold and careful. what did these men want and how was his weird aunt related to this? for christ’ sake, he didn’t even know the name of the street she lived in.

“he’s a good liar, you have to give him that!”, another guy laughed with a raspy tint in his voice, as if his throat was made out of rough corned sandpaper — it wasn’t, mysta knew, he was just a smoker and a heavy one at that, too —, “let’s just get him, she’ll react instantly.”

get him? get? as in “kidnap”? oh hell nah.

mysta’s legs were faster than the four men’s thinking process’ as he death gripped shu’s hand and ran back to the fair, into the clutter of people. the yells behind him doubled in volume and amount since mysta did not really care about the three kids he just ran over or the middle aged woman with her portion of overpriced fries.

they fought themselves through the crowd, taking turns and corners over and over; if mysta was good at something, it was mind games. he knew how to trick people, knew how to get rid of them, knew how to fuck them up real good if necessary. and for mysta, shu was his top priority and after looking over his shoulder to make sure shu wasn’t about to pass out, all he saw was a determent expression and parted lips, a small sign to the pathway to success.

they never let go of each other because if they would drown, shu was there to stop them and mysta knew that reaching for the stars would keep them afloat for a while.

chapter 1 / 3 / 4

the fic on ao3 and my twitter

[yikesharringrove]

Aight now we’ve got the dive

I’ve seen spoilers for this, of Steve diving into the underwater upside down gate and can u just say I CALLED IT.

Wow, it’s almost like an underwater gate is super cinematic and interesting ✌️🤪

Thots: had some great moments, but also had some of my least favorite moments of the season so far.

The California/Utah gang feels so fucking disconnected from everything else. They tried so so hard to shove Suzie into this season and made it a weird comic relief scene when the pen could’ve just had the coordinates hidden in it and they go right to the Nina project

The storylines are becoming so stretched that’s it’s hard for me to keep track of everything.

The whole satanic panic being spurred on by Jason is the worst thing stranger things has ever done. It feels like some cheap riverdale shit and that show sucks for a reason. I think it could’ve been mentioned like Eddie’s intro scene where he’s reading that article, but it’s taken such a focus that I can’t stand.

Steve Harrington is the light of my life but that’s not New information.

Anyway, this episode really lost me in a lot of ways but that ending with Steve being eaten alive was really tense

Notey note notes

Alright maybe now Jason can fucking CHILL

Ope. Nope. The opposite of chill

“How do you expect to stop the devil, if you don’t believe he’s real” maybe it’s my religious trauma talking, but the satanic panic shit needs to END I’m literally so so so over it

There’s just too much happening tbh. This military group looking for el and the team getting els powers back and the team in Hawkins helping max and the basketball boys hunting Eddie and the team going to Utah and the team in Russia and also hopper in Russia im Tired

The brenner redemption is the second to last thing I needed (the last thing I need is Steve/Nancy getting back together)

“You have demons in your past” AND YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR A LOT OF THEM

They are trying to redeem brenner and they couldn’t have been added to give billy a satisfying character arc???? What?????

“At least he can drink himself into feeling better” “that’s what my mom does” I’m WHEEZING nobody is pulling their punches today I see

Not even paying attention to what’s being said bc I’m so focused on Steve eating like a bear out of focus in the background

Steve in the yellow sweatshirt about to steal every scene (and also my heart)

Idk I just. They are constantly making sure Eddie knows they’re there for him and like. No one cared about billy.

THOSE MOUNTAINS HIT ME IN THE FACE LIKE A BRICK I FEEL SICK I KNOW THAT RANGE

Oh god oh Jesus Salt Lake City I’m. No. No.

Not them about to bring this Latinx man into the 80s mormons’ house.

Good shot, kid.

The way they are painting these kids as super weird kinda fucks actually but I just feel sick I’m so anti-Mormon it’s insane

MORTON SALT HELL YEAH

“Father’s kidneys!” Me except it’s my own fucked up kidneys

God this whole scene has but such a bad taste in my mouth

This ally sheedy bitch I hope she leaves the church and thrives

Joyce and Murray threatening yuri with these shitass Russian accents dream team I love them

Not me muting the scene of them eating bc of the chewing sounds ✌️🤢

Every time I see this plinko I think of the horse plinko from a few weeks ago lol

Not this stupid bitch using the royal we fuckin hate him

HES number one. Why is 1 get to be a special Pokémon trainer and the other kids are stuck??

Okay so NOW we get a Kali mention. So Kali did escape when she was like 3????? Bro what?????

“It wasn’t popular until I made it popular” everything Steve says is comedy just looking at him makes me smile a stupid fucking smile (also what is with his pants WHERE are the tight tight little jeans)

Okay but he’s RIGHT

WOW Patrick was targeted bc he’s been abused stranger things killing off ANOTHER abused kid just for the fun of it. Cool.

Goddamn thank god Lucas is getting back to his old self being THE MOST caring and thoughtful person I missed him

Robin SHUT UP do not talk about rekindling old flames NO ONE WANTS STEVE AND NANCY BACK TOGETHER STEVE HAS TOLD YOU THATS HES OVER HER PLS PLS PLS shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I do like robin and Nancy getting closer like this though I think it’s good for them both

“bada bing bada boom” Italian Steve #confirmed

“In your stupid cocky little face” “you just can’t admit that you’re wrong you little butthead” your honor hes everything to me

Not Steve’s hair all slicked back like that WHAT

He’s never looked better

CLAUDIA HENDERSON

Bro Jason literally GO AWAY I fucking can’t with this satanic panic shit I know this is like. How it was but. I hate it I hate it here

Bash Jason’s head in with a rock challenge

Claudia fucking crying while Jason is saying Dustin is in a cult

“Last night I was overcome with this feeling of hopelessness. Then I remembered Romans 12:21” GO AWAY

I hate this I hate this I hate this

Jason as some weird religious Archie Andrews is just nothing that I wanted

I played my sister this scene bc it was so beyond shitty and she was like bro wtf

Claudia and Karen and Mrs. Sinclair making pointed eye contact with one another

Suzie has TWO byu flag things in her room this girl sucks

(Pls find the Black Menaces on Instagram and tiktok to understand the scope of why byu is a fucking nightmare)

Suzie and this guilt thing it’s bc Mormons use guilt like a fucking weapon so they can’t deal when they do something Bad

“I was dating an agnostic” also mos aren’t supposed to date until 16 sooo

Oh shot the pta is here Claudia Henderson loml

“A stake is like a vamp-is he a vampire?” STEVE HARRINGTON CANON BUFFY FAN YES YES YES THIS IS WVERYTHING IVE EVER NEEDED PLEASE GOD OH SHIT OH SHIT wow the way Steve’s whole life revolves around the original movie omg he’s gonna be so excited when the tv show comes out

“Everything was like way easier. We had this girl. She had superpowers.” I’m just writing down literally everything he says

BACK TO THE COMPASS YES love that they’ve brought this back from season one so so happy with that call back

“Snack size gate”

Steve #1 drama queen award

“What’s say you Eddie the Banished” I love that they’ve never stopped making Dustin’s weirdness his #1 personality trait

“I say you’re asking me to follow you into Mordor” literally he’s billy from every single fic over written FUCK

Brenner teaching them to be emotionless fighting machines bitch disgusting

So does this mean Kali is the only one with different powers???

There’s so many plots happening that every I only remember who’s on screen at a time like the California gang and the Russia gang are not in my brain unless they’re on screen

But this Murray yuri parent trap princess switch FUCKS I love this idea so so much

This fight is gotta be staged to help them get out

CALLED IT

The way hopper s a fucking genius I can’t. Like, you want head?

Anyway in case you’re wondering how the Mormons are doing

Badly.

I was gonna make a joke earlier about how the names aren’t Mormon enough and I was gonna specifically say “where’s the tanner?” Bc I have 3 cousins named tanner BUT one of the kids IS named tanner there you go

“What’s the internet” “don’t worry about it”

Suzie is the og dataminer

“I think we just spooked a skunk” NOPE JUST YOUR SISTER HOTBOXING WITH ARGYLE amazing

The writers have watched to much fucking riverdake I hate it here

“Who put her in charge?” “I did.” GAY

“Bedtime at nine kiddos. Miss you already!” R O B I N

Bro what the FUCK is going on in here on this day

These older kids are wildin out “you shamed me today” ????

Yeah I really think Kali is the only one with unique powers good for her

“Unless one of you can top being a Hawkins high swim team co-captain and a certified lifeguard for three years it’s gotta be me. No complaints, alright?” SWIMMER STEVE CONFIRMED

YES CHEST HAIR YES YES YES HES SO HOT I AM LOOKING DISRESPECTFULLY I AM OBJECTIFYING

“I keep telling him he needs to take that jungle” no he does NOT

MAX HELL YES

I love her just shameless ogling Steve she deserves it. She totally always thought he was hit and billy would make fun of her for it and she’d be like ‘you think he’s hot too shut up���

Lucas just looking back and forth between the boat and max for twenty minutes this is a comedy show

God this Nancy/Steve shit I wish I was dead

Okay that dive did not say swim team co captain Steven

Omg Dustin’s tiny singular giggle after saying watergate king shit

Not Steve painlessly holding his breath for an hour and a half

Okay but the way his hand was shaking as he went to touch the gate membrane thing

Oh shit they’re doing a good job ramping up the tension here with the cops showing up and the vines reaching up for this group

“More of a snack sized gate than a mama gate but still” love u

That moment when he first gets yanked and then he looks at them, looks down, then looks back at them and then gets yanked harder. Amazing

Wow rip to Steve’s ankle

Oh SHIT Dustin and Lucas don’t realize the whole town is fucking hunting them FUCK

Oh god of course robin is a nose plugger

Eddie’s voice raising twelve octaves while he’s yelling and freaking out king shit

Steve first time in the upside down welcome 2 hell baby love

So in tremors 1 we have the graboids. Season 1 we have the demogorgons. The biggest, full size version of the creatures. Completely practical effects. Maintained anonymous until final reveal while attacking protagonist. Tremors 2: aftershocks brings shriekers and season 2 brings demodogs. Smaller creatures that have ability to run on land. Smarter but also dumber than the full size. Tremors 3: back to perfection has ass-blasters and season 4 has demobats. This ‘flying’ counterpart utilizes the most disappointing cgi of the 3 and feels a bit forced.

Steve getting choked 👀

Oh jesus christ these fuckers are really dining out on our Steven. He really though he was gonna die alone in the upside down being eaten alive by monsters oh god oh fuck

Wow good ending here

[artificialqueens]

Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor (14/14) (Branjie) (and background everyone) - Ortega

a/n: WAAH the end is here!! thank u to everyone who’s ever liked, reblogged or commented on this, it means the world!! hope u enjoy the final chapter! it’s finale time babeyyy

fic summary: Strictly Come Dancing enters its 18th series and its producers, after being goaded by a rival dance show on its inclusivity, commission it to be an all-female cast. Unlike Akeria who’s just here to bone her potential dance partner, dancer Vanessa is ready to act like a professional.

And then TV presenter Brooke Lynn walks into the rehearsal room.

*****

12th December, 2020

The glitterball is casting a thousand mirrors onto the dancefloor and the bodies of the girls around her as Vanessa moves gracefully across the ballroom, twirl, twirl, twirl, STOP, kick-and-kick, kick-and-kick. She feels like a little clockwork doll as she completes each move perfectly in sync with Crystal and Courtney beside her, and with all the lights beaming down on her and the knowledge she’s got her girlfriend out there watching her it’s as if she’s made of a million diamonds.

“All these bad times I’m goin’ through, just dance…got canned heat in my heels tonight baby…”

On the last beat she freezes back to back against Phi Phi on her other side, and as the pros all hold their positions the celebrities in the audience cheer and screech and clap loudly for them. Vanessa supposes it’s weird to still be calling them the celebrities; they’re part of the huge big Strictly family now, and it’s so sad that in a matter of hours the whole experience will be over for another year and they’ll have to say goodbye to each other. Well. In theory they will, but for the endless amount of them who seem to have struck up relationships over the course of the show not much will probably change.

Melting out of their poses, the dancers all laugh, hug and hi-five each other, glad they managed to do so well in the dress rehearsal. As they all walk back over to the seats in the audience Vanessa sees Brooke’s bright smile and twinkling eyes as she puts her hands together in a series of tiny little claps just for her.

“You were so good out there! Well done,” she gasps encouragingly, holding her arms out to her for a hug which Vanessa gladly accepts.

It’s crazy how Brooke’s arms have become such a familiar and comforting place for Vanessa, and the feeling of her girlfriend all warm and soft around her makes her feel like her stomach’s full of butterflies. As the hug breaks, Vanessa tilts her chin up to kiss Brooke once, twice, three times, the pair of them smiling at each other all goofy and dumb and happy. They never really announced their relationship to the other pros (apart from to Monique and Akeria, of course, who received a number of loud voicenotes from Vanessa in the Uber back from Brooke’s the morning after she’d stayed over). To their credit, the other girls have barely batted an eye to the occasional coupled-up displays on show; apart from Crystal squealing and gushing about how cute they are and Jan giving Vanessa a sneaky wink and mouthing a told you so.

Vanessa doesn’t mind, though. Being with Brooke feels like being on a boat in a harbour; calm, anchored, safe. They’ve only really been girlfriends for a week but in Vanessa’s eyes it feels like a lot longer. If she’s been worried about not seeing Brooke after they were kicked out of the competition then Brooke has done everything she can to assuage those fears. On Tuesday they went for late-night drinks at a quiet bar in the middle of buttfuck nowhere to make extra sure there would be no press lingering about. On Wednesday Vanessa had picked Brooke up from filming and Brooke had introduced her to her co-presenter Nina, who’d gasped and hugged her and said she’d heard so much about her (which in turn made Brooke blush, to Vanessa’s delight). And on Friday Vanessa had stayed at Brooke’s again ahead of their busy day today, and they’d made cookies together and taken them in for everyone to snack on during the dress run. It all feels like paradise, the best kind of dream that Vanessa wants to stay in forever.

“I don’t think I’ll ever stop bragging about how my girlfriend is the best pro dancer on the whole show,” Brooke says proudly, Vanessa going all giggly and flattered in her arms. Just then, Jackie leans forward from the row of seats behind them.

“Aw, don’t tell me you and Jan have been having an affair?!” she teases lazily, and Brooke makes a childish face at her as she sits down on her own seat, dragging Vanessa with her onto her lap.

“I said best pro dancer, not best crier,” Brooke deadpans, then flinches and gives a cry as she’s hit on the back of the head with an empty plastic water bottle. As Vanessa howls with laughter, she turns around to see who the culprit is- an incredibly unamused Jan.

“Hey, you two cried when you left too!”

“Only cried because I thought I’d never get to grind against Brooke again,” Vanessa jokes, getting a laugh from the two girls behind her and a long-suffering glare from Brooke. As if to punctuate her point Vanessa wiggles a little in her lap, and the glare turns challenging with a minute raise of Brooke’s eyebrows. If Vanessa has anything to do with it she’ll be paying for that later. She can’t wait.

“Are we talking about grinding against our girls?” Crystal asks inquisitively from a few seats along. “Gigi’s impossible. Her hipbones are like razor blades.”

“Hey, I’m not that skinny!” Gigi objects from beside her, Crystal placating her by taking her hand and kissing it as the other girls laugh. Vanessa’s not sure when those two actually got their shit together, but she’s glad they did. She knows how much Crystal had been crushing on Gigi, and she’s happy that another set of girls get to be happy too.

“You done with your fitting then, Crys?” Vanessa asks. She knows all the finalists got called to wardrobe straight after their rehearsal, and it still looks as if Akeria and Monique aren’t done yet.

“Yeah. The skirt is so long, though, God knows how I’m gonna dance in it.”

“How’re you feeling, Gigi?” Jan asks politely, the finalist going vaguely green beside her partner.

“Like I drank a bucket of cold sick.”

“How poetic,” Crystal rolls her eyes. “You’ll be fine! Better than fine. You’ll be amazing. You’ve got me!”

“That’s the part I’m worried about,” Gigi deadpans, and as the girls roar with laughter Vanessa catches Gigi reassuring Crystal that she was only kidding, kissing her cheek for good measure.

Vanessa cranes her neck, searching the studio. When her eyes don’t fall on the people she’s looking for, she turns to Gigi and Crystal again. “Hey, you know if Kiki and Monique are done yet?”

“Nah. Still there,” Gigi says, sipping from her water bottle on one hand with her other still curled round Crystal’s.

“Right. I’m gonna go wish ‘em good luck in case I don’t see them before the show,” Vanessa says decisively, making to stand up. Brooke pulls her back into her lap, fixing her with a pout and a kissy face.

“Needy,” Vanessa teases, before pressing three little kisses to her lips that the other girls either simper, fake-vomit or wolf-whistle at.

It’s not hard to find Akeria and Monique; they’re both still in wardrobe with their partners, although Monique looks as if she is done and Akeria is dressed in her showdance dress, a riot of silver and gold sequined fringing. Asia’s is matching, and they both look like identical twins as they’re prodded with pins and needles and measured with lengths of tape.

“Wow, you two look stunnin’,” Vanessa says by way of a greeting, to which Akeria’s face lights up in delight.

“Hey boo!” she beams, holding her arms out for a hug and then forgetting she’s practically rendered immobile for the time being.

Monique greets her too, but she’s muted and quiet as she sits on the small sofa beside Monet. She looks nervous. It’s rare that Monique gets nervous. In all the time Vanessa’s known her and all the contests they’ve competed in together, she has hardly ever seen Monique look anything other than 100% sure of herself.

“How you all feelin’?” Vanessa asks, laughing as Asia sticks her tongue between her teeth and makes a noise like a big wet fart.

“Nervous as hell. I’m just gonna go out there and have a good time, though. If we win, we win, and if we don’t, well…the public have no taste.”

Akeria points at her in approval and agreement, and Vanessa’s gaze turns to Monet.

“I’m just excited! I’m not ready for the whole thing to be over. Think I’m just gonna go out an’ have fun, like Asia. But I’ve not been able to get a word out of this one all day,” she gently nudges Monique with her knee, threads her arm around her waist. “And y’know, usually I’d be overjoyed about getting a bit of peace, but it’s unnerving. I think she’s more nervous than I am.”

Monique looks up at Monet with a small smile, but her brow’s still furrowed in worry.

“I just don’t wanna let you down. You work so hard every damn day an’ you deserve the win so much. I mean what if I do fuck somethin’ up? Forget a step or do somethin’ wrong?”

“Monique,” Vanessa interjects, her lip curling in disbelief. “You are a literal dance champion. You have three trophy cabinets at your family home- don’t deny it, I’ve seen ‘em. You’re a professional dancer, for Christ’s sake! Why are you so nervous about this in particular?”

“Because she wants to win it for her boo,” Akiera raises her eyebrows at the pair of them on the sofa, and Vanessa doesn’t miss the way Monique grows all bashful and Monet develops a slightly smug smile.

“That ain’t it at all! It’s just…it’s my first final, and yeah I’m nervous, and not gonna lie, I wanna win. And…” Monique trails off as she looks at Monet. “…okay, I kind of am putting myself under more pressure because it’s you.”

Vanessa and Akeria cast each other a knowing glance, one that lets Akeria communicate to her just how correct she was.

“Babe,” Monet chuckles, pulling Monique closer. “I got six Brit awards, two MOBOs, two number ones an’ a top five album. Winning tonight would be nice, but…there’s more important things to me, like the pair of us havin’ fun together. Besides. I already won when I got partnered with you, so.”

Monet tails off, a little embarrassed at how soppy she’s got in front of the others, but Vanessa thinks it’s worth it when she sees how Monique lights up at her words.

“Go on, kiss her. It’ll make Akeria sick, an’ that’s funny,” Vanessa teases, and as Akeria rolls her eyes at her Monique peppers Monet’s face with grateful kisses.

“Now listen,” Vanessa speaks again, her tone sincere as she steps forwards and takes her friend’s hands. “If I don’t see you both before the final…go get that glitterball, okay? Do it for all three of us, we said one of us would take it. Have fun, do your best. But whatever happens, I’m so proud of you both.”

“Shut up. You’re gonna make me cry,” Akeria says stoically, but Vanessa knows there’s love behind it.

“Love you, V,” Monique smiles tearfully, untangling herself from Monet’s arms and moving to hug her.

“Fuck it,” Akeria shrugs, gingerly putting her arms around the pair of her friends.

Vanessa hopes she’s conveying with her hug just how much she loves her sisters, how desperately proud of them she is and how much luck she’s wishing them both. It’s so crazy for her to think about the three of them, in their late teens with their hair scraped back into tight buns and too much makeup on their face, meeting for the first time at the tower ballroom all those years ago. Now Akeria and Monique are in the final, and Vanessa gets to watch them.

She can’t quite believe this is her life.

In the green room all the other girls are chatting excitedly, happy they’re not under any pressures tonight other than to do the group dances well, have fun, and cheer loudly for their friends. Some of the girls are doing some last-minute touch-ups at the mirrors and some have spilled out onto the floor, surrounded by boxes of pizza that remind Vanessa of how hungry she is and make her stomach rumble. Her eyes eventually land on Brooke, tucked up in a corner eating a slice of pepperoni and busy scrolling her phone which is plugged into the wall. She’s wearing one of the dressing gowns that production provides them with, clearly too cold in her opening dance outfit. The sight makes Vanessa’s heart melt a little bit and she crosses the room to meet her.

“Hey! Woah, watch!” Brooke laughs, as Vanessa wraps her whole body around her- arms around Brooke’s head, thighs around her waist- and clings to her like a koala. “You’ll get pizza grease on your dress and then costume will shout at you.”

“You looked cold,” Vanessa mutters against her hair, by way of explanation.

It’s too late when she notices Brooke editing the photo for her Instagram story- Vanessa’s head resting on top of hers and Brooke pulling a silly face for the selfie.

Sleepy baby ahead of the finale, Brooke types, and Vanessa’s heart grows all warm.

“That’s gonna raise some suspicion, y’know,” Vanessa smirks, tapping her nail against the word baby as she releases her girlfriend from the full-body hug and settles herself down beside her.

“What? You are a sleepy baby. It’s just a fact,” Brooke shrugs, making Vanessa laugh. Brooke’s reaction makes her consider something.

“Hey, d’you think we should wait til we’re asked about us to say that we’re together? Y’know, in like, an interview? Or should we make like…an announcement?” she asks her, Brooke snorting at her last sentence.

“An announcement! We’re not the royal family, baby, let’s chill,” she taps her on the nose, and Vanessa huffs beside her.

“Well! Our fans might still want to know. I don’t know if you’ve looked at either of our comment sections lately, but they’re both full of kids wanting to know if there’s anything going on between us.”

“I think wait to be asked,” Brooke shrugs, to which Vanessa raises her eyebrows at her.

“We already got asked! And we denied there was anything at all going on!” she laughs, thinking back to their It Takes Two elimination interview where Cheryl had grilled them on their relationship status, and they’d had to smile and laugh and say they were just friends.

(Although the way Brooke had pushed her up against the wall backstage to kiss her afterwards, unable to keep her hands off her, begged to differ.)

“Well, they’ll ask again! I’ll be mad if they don’t,” Brooke huffs, making Vanessa giggle all the more.

There’s a lull in the conversation where Brooke leans over to her side, hands Vanessa a pizza box with three slices of pepperoni inside it. “Saved you some. I knew these vultures would be ruthless. I think Willam’s had five slices already, fuck knows how she’s going to dance.”

Vanessa laughs out a thank you, taking a slice that’s gone from hot to warm but biting into it regardless. As Brooke nibbles on her crust and the pair of them chew contentedly, Vanessa nudges Brooke’s calf with her foot.

“What’re you doin’ this week? I wanna see you.”

Brooke tilts her head in thought. “I’ve got Wednesday off filming. Other than that I’m free most afternoons and…Friday night.”

Vanessa pouts. “So I can’t stay over Tuesday?”

“I’ll get back from filming at, like, nine. But you can stay over, of course you can! You might need to make dinner, though. Ooh, or we could get Chinese?”

It makes Vanessa feel all excited and tingly, the fact that she and Brooke get to do this. Plan their week together and what they want to do; endless little futures, dreams becoming real. Each time Vanessa spends time with her girlfriend she swears she’s one step closer to telling her exactly how she feels about her, words she’s not said properly in quite a while. It’s a scary feeling, but an exciting one, like being on a rollercoaster or doing a bungee jump.

Brooke sees the dopey smile on her face and laughs. “What?”

“I’m just happy we get to do this. Just be together an’ do coupley shit. Never thought I’d be able to do all this again with someone,” she smiles shyly, and her words make Brooke lean in and kiss her forehead. Vanessa suddenly remembers something and flinches. “Pizza grease lips!”

“Oh, relax. They’ll stick some foundation on it and you’ll be fine,” Brooke pouts, cuddling her closer. “Hey, when do you fly back home for Christmas?”

“20th. You?”

“21st,” Brooke says, then sighs and takes Vanessa’s hand. “Will it give you the ick if I say I’m going to miss you? Like, a lot?”

“Shut up, not at all!” Vanessa tips her head back to laugh, incredulous. She brings Brooke’s hand up and kisses it three times in quick succession. “I’m gonna miss you too. But hey, when we get back we’ll have rehearsals an’ then the tour. It’ll be almost like we’re back doin’ the show!”

Brooke perks up beside her, and Vanessa uses the small pause in conversation to take another bite of her pizza, being ever-so-careful not to have it touch her lipstick.

“Where’re you most excited for?”

Vanessa looks back at Brooke and blinks, her train of thought lost. “What?”

“On the tour. Where are you looking forward to the most?” Brooke asks again patiently. Vanessa thinks, then raises her eyebrows as she decides.

“Belfast is nice. Good places to eat, good nights out. An’ the river is so gorge when it’s night and all the buildings around it are lit up.”

Brooke waggles her eyebrows. “You’re going to be taking me on some romantic midnight walks, then?”

Vanessa laughs, winks at her. “If you’re lucky. What about you, boo, where you excited for?”

Brooke tilts her head in thought. “Aberdeen interests me.”

Vanessa can’t help the laugh she splutters out. “Oh, baby. Aberdeen is dead, there’s fuckin’…nothin’ there. If we’re talkin’ Scotland then Glasgow is the best. They know how to party in Glasgow. I remember the first year we did the tour me an’ a few of the other girls had a night out there. Well Lord Jesus if it wasn’t the most chaotic night out we ever had. It was like a renaissance paintin’ or some shit. Kiki an’ Monique were just standin’ there open-mouthed at everything but me an’ Crystal were lovin’ it. Reminded us of nights out back home but on steroids.”

Brooke laughs, hums as something occurs to her mid-pizza slice. “Newcastle, though. That’s a good night out.”

“Y’know what we need to prioritise? Cute date venues. That’s what we can do while we’re both away! Make a list of all the cities on the tour an’ look up good places to eat an’ things to do,” Vanessa says enthusiastically, watches Brooke’s face light up in response. It makes Vanessa’s heart happy to know that Brooke’s as invested in the pair of them as she is, the concept of them being them.

The pair of them spend the time leading up to the finale chatting excitedly with the other girls, singing loudly along to the songs playing through the speakers with the other, and finishing off the pizza. Vanessa thinks it’s interesting seeing how all the different new couples behave. Vixen and Blair are low-key and subtle; a squeeze of each others’ hand here, a shared look of affection there. In contrast, Jan and Jackie can’t help but kiss each other on the cheek every few minutes or so, vocal and proud of each other and wanting all the other girls to know it. Willam and Courtney’s budding relationship seems to be built on Willam gently bullying Courtney, and Yvie and Scarlet’s built on Yvie laughing at things Scarlet does, even if she doesn’t mean to be funny. Gigi and Crystal are shy and still a little nervous and Jackie thinks it’s funny to call them out on it every so often and make them blush furiously. Monique is bashful and secretive and Monet is loud and public, clearly wanting everyone to know how loved-up she is.

It’s funny the way that a simple dancing competition has brought so many different girls from so many different walks of life together, who might not ever have met otherwise but now have the chance to build a future with each other. It’s nice, Vanessa thinks, as she puts her arm around her own future that’s sitting beside her, howling at a joke Yvie’s made.

Soon enough, the girls are all called through to assemble on the ballroom floor. Vanessa slips her hand into Brooke’s as they make their way through the corridors that are hidden from view with huge black drapes, her heart pounding in anticipation. It’s a bittersweet feeling; the last time she and Brooke are going to be dancing together on the ballroom floor, the last time she’s going to be dancing with the other pros for a while at least. But she wants to make it count, and she wants to be the best she can be, so she tips the scales in her mind to the more positive side, squeezes Brooke’s hand and kisses her on the cheek as they wait to be told to assemble.

“So proud of you,” Brooke murmurs against her hair, having not quite pulled away yet.

“So proud of us,” Vanessa corrects her, squeezing her waist. She wants to say it, she wants to just say I love you like it’s the most simple thing in the world.

Not yet.

When they all dance together for the last time and the audience claps and cheers, Vanessa’s heart feels full and lit up. She’s happy, and she’s no longer carrying the burden of what-happened-last-year around with her. She feels as if she’s walking on air as she makes her way up to the Divinatorium with Brooke’s arm around her shoulders, ready to watch her friends all dance their hearts out for a chance at the glitterball.

The finalists had to prepare three dances: their favourite of the ones they’d performed all season, the judges’ pick, and a showdance. The couples’ pick is up first, and Vanessa watches with interest at each of their choices. She smirks up at Brooke as Monet and Monique perform their Waltz to I Have Nothing again, explaining to her that their first kiss had been when they’d rehearsed for it. It’s still beautiful and mesmerising though, just as it had been the first time around, and when they get a perfect score of 40 Vanessa swears she’s the loudest member of the audience there is.

Akeria and Asia are next, and they’ve picked their Argentine Tango from Musicals week. Their reasoning is clever, Vanessa thinks; it was a semi-recent performance so it’s still fresh in their minds, and it was the one they performed in the dance-off so they have the opportunity to redeem themselves for the judges. When they’re scored 38, Vanessa’s heart bursts with pride.

The last couple to perform their first dance are Gigi and Crystal, who’ve chosen their movie week dance to Licence to Kill. Vanessa smiles as she watches the pair of them, remembering how Crystal had told her how gorgeous she’d thought Gigi looked in her Rhumba dress. Watching the pair of them dance now it’s filled with so much more passion and heat, and Vanessa will eat her own hands if they don’t score 40. They end up receiving 39 thanks to Bianca and her stubborn scoring, but Vanessa’s proud of them anyway.

“What would we have chosen if we’d made it this far?” Brooke asks Vanessa, as there’s a break to allow some guest performer to showcase their new single. Vanessa doesn’t even have to think twice.

“Argentine for sure. Wait no- maybe the Salsa.”

“You just want an excuse to do sexy dances with me again, then?” Brooke pokes her tongue out, murmuring quietly. Vanessa gives her girlfriend’s butt a squeeze in response and has to clap a hand over her mouth to stop herself laughing as Brooke lets out a squeak right in the middle of the performance.

“I’d do our Commercial. I never got to do it with you the first time around,” Brooke says, after she’s calmed down. Vanessa raises her eyebrows and nods in approval, liking the idea. Maybe they could do one of each on tour.

The evening soon progresses to the judges’ choice dances. For Crystal and Gigi, they’ve chosen their week one Samba- a choice that, Vanessa is sure, the girls will be cursing them for as it’ll have required a lot of re-learning. However they still perform it well, and they earn a 38. Monique and Monet perform their Jive, and as Vanessa watches it she becomes all excited for her friend, because it’s shaping up to be one of the most iconic dances in the show’s history. They receive 39, another amazing score. Akeria and Asia perform last- their Commercial, which Vanessa is pleased about. Commercial is easy and almost guarantees a good score. Sure enough, the judges give them 40, and Vanessa practically leaps on her friend when she’s finished with her interview.

After a pro dance, the final dances of the evening- the last attempt to win some votes- are the showdances, designed and choreographed to be a showcase of all the celebrities have learned over the course of the competition. Vanessa’s excited- she hasn’t seen any of the girls’ rehearsals and she’s deliberately not looked at the songs they’ve chosen, and so she’s going into the dances blind.

She clasps Brooke’s hand excitedly as she watches Akeria and Asia go first, the fringing to their dresses Vanessa had seen them be fitted for earlier making her realise it’ll have elements of a Charleston. The opening chords of I Got Rhythm blast out into the studio, and the girls immediately throw themselves into their dance. Vanessa watches it all with delight, so relieved and happy at how well the two girls are doing. When it gets another score of 39, Vanessa screeches so loudly that Aja gives her a glare, deafened from her position on the other side of her.

Gigi and Crystal are next, and their matching pink dresses are perfect for their dance to Sparkling Diamonds. They hit every beat effortlessly, and it’s clear that they’ve both put everything into rehearsals as the dance is executed perfectly. They are scored 39 too, and Vanessa bounces on her toes impatiently, a little irked. The judges are handing out the perfect scores sparingly tonight, and Vanessa badly wants Monet and Monique to get another.

When the last couple take to the dancefloor underneath a giant halo of fairy lights, Vanessa gasps. Monet’s hair is loose and curled down her back and Monique’s is matching, a little sparkling silver butterfly clip pinning some of it back from her face. They’re in long white dresses of taffeta and lace, dotted with sparkling silver diamantes and sequins, and they’re barefoot, indicating a contemporary theme. Vanessa’s heartened by how stunning they look.

And, as the piano begins playing, Vanessa hears Brooke let out a little gasp beside her.

“Oh my God, this is going to be beautiful,” she whispers, and Vanessa nods excitedly in agreement.

As the singer begins, Monique and Monet start to move; slowly, gracefully, gently, like two little figures in a music box.

“I close my eyes and I can see, the world that’s waiting up for me…that I call my own…”

Vanessa is close to letting out a gasp herself as the two girls move across the ballroom floor with skill and agility, tumbling and twirling through the air. It’s not just how perfectly they’re executing the dance though. It’s the way Monique’s looking at Monet with adoration, it’s the way Monet smiles back at her, just happy to be dancing with the girl she cares about. It’s the way the dance is illustrative of what’s blooming between them- fragile, delicate and beautiful- and Vanessa wonders if Monique intentionally choreographed it that way.

“Every night I lie in bed, the brightest colours fill my head, a million dreams are keeping me awake…”

As the song reaches its climax and the pair of them run over to a huge circular platform, Vanessa lets go of Brooke’s hand and cups her face with both of her own, awed and stunned. Because carpeting the platform are shimmering circles of white and silver confetti, and as Monet and Monique conclude their dance, kick up and scatter it, it surrounds them like stars. Vanessa doesn’t know if it’s the music, or the choreography, or simply the connection between the two girls, but she finds her eyes beginning to fill with tears, so much so that Brooke notices and pulls her in close for a hug. They watch the dance finish with their arms around each other, and that’s how the girls end too; Monet’s arms anchoring Monique tightly and Monique’s wrapped around Monet’s waist.

The judges are crying, and, to Vanessa’s unbridled delight, the girls are given full marks for their showdance.

As Vanessa gives her friend a quick hug before they have to go back on stage for the winner to be announced, she whispers to Monique.

“That dance just won you the competition, baby. Well done.”

Monique pulls away and makes a face. “C’mon, Vanj, we don’t know that for sure.”

But Vanessa does. So after the VT is shown of the recap of the full season and Michelle announces that the votes are closed, Vanessa holds her breath. From her position at the bannister she can see Crystal and Gigi, Monet and Monique, and Akeria and Asia, all of them standing within about two metres of the glitterball trophy and within touching distance of being announced the winners. Vanessa would love it to be any of the girls, but she’s sure of who is going to take the trophy. The lights go down, the audience holds their breath, and Brooke clings tightly to Vanessa from behind.

“Crystal and Gigi…” Michelle begins, her voice full of suspense and anticipation. “…Akeria and Asia…Monet and Monique. The votes have been counted and independently verified, and I can now reveal that the Strictly Come Dancing champions of 2020 are…”

Drum beat. Drum beat. Drum beat. Vanessa is holding her breath so much she feels as though she could be sick. She can feel Brooke’s heart beat through her chest against her back, and Vanessa feels as if her whole body is shaking as she looks down at the girls. Crystal has her arm around Gigi as the other girl looks to the ceiling, taking deep breaths. Akeria’s holding Asia’s hand, both of them looking to the floor nervously. And Monique is tucked in to Monet’s side, their arms wrapped around each other and both of their eyes squeezed tightly shut.

Drum beat. Drum beat. Drum beat.

“MONET AND MONIQUE!”

Vanessa immediately flinches against Brooke, almost knocking her out as she launches herself roughly ten feet in the air and screams so loud she feels as if her vocal cords will snap. When she begins crying it’s as if a massive bank has burst, the relief and the pride and the love she feels for her friend so overwhelming and euphoric.

Monique is doubled over in shock, sobbing as she launches herself away from Monet, and Monet, for her part, is simply screaming “WHAT?” over and over again. The two other pairs are laughing and beaming as they cheer for the winners and Akeria is jumping up and down, clapping so hard Vanessa’s worried about the skin on her palms.

Michelle ushers the winning girls over, and Vanessa melts against Brooke with bliss as her girlfriend presses a kiss to her temple. The win is as much for the three friends as well as Monique and Monet themselves, and Vanessa wants nothing more than to throw herself off the balcony and run to Monique and Akeria, to crush them both in a hug and never let go. But Monet is being interviewed, her arm tight around Monique’s waist as she’s asked how it feels to win.

“I still don’t believe it!!” she cries, her face a picture of disbelief as she looks at Monique with incredulity. “It feels absolutely crazy, crazy and surreal, I mean the fact that we won in amongst all this talent…I never expected it, not one bit. But you know…I should’ve expected it, I should, because I have the best teacher, the absolute best teacher and friend and straight-up best person I could’ve asked for to share this experience with, and she deserves this win so much, I just…I mean, you know how I feel about you, babe, so I’m just gonna shut up.”

The audience cheers as Monet pulls Monique in for a hug, and Vanessa can see Monique’s frame shaking as she sobs against Monet’s chest. Vanessa knows how unlucky Monique’s been with her previous partners, she knows how much she’s wanted this for so long. Michelle is smiling as she gestures to Monique.

“Monique, what would you like to say to Monet, to the girl that got you the glitterball?”

Monique pulls out of the hug, takes a few deep breaths to compose herself and breaks out into a coy smile as she looks at Monet, a little twinkle in both their eyes.

“What would I like to say to Monet…many, many things, so many things…I mean, first up, thank you, Lord, thank you for bein’ the best student, for giving your everything every single damn week, for…” Monique gestures to the trophy. “…for this…but also for bein’ the best person to share this whole crazy journey with, and it has been crazy, it’s been crazier than I ever imagined, but I’m so grateful for it all.”

Vanessa can feel the tears stream down her face as she watches Michelle rest a hand on the glitterball trophy. “Well, Monique and Monet, it gives me great pleasure to present you with this trophy, and to officially announce you…Strictly Come Dancing champions!”

The audience cheers in anticipation of the two girls lifting the trophy, but there’s a little pause as Vanessa watches Monet turn to Monique, whisper something into her ear with a little questioning look to her gaze. Monique looks to the floor bashfully, then bites back a smile as she gives a little nod. It’s when that happens that Monet turns to Michelle again, her hand on the trophy.

“Actually, Michelle, can I say somethin’ else before we lift this up?” Monet asks, and Michelle smiles indulgently.

“Make it quick, girl, we’ve got two minutes of screen time left.”

“Okay. I also just quickly wanted to say thank you so much to everyone involved who commissioned this series…it has been an absolute triumph, to see and to work alongside twenty three other women who’ve all proved their talents and who’ve all proved that same-sex pairings can work, and that the world doesn’t implode if you let two girls dance with each other…and I hope future series are going to reflect this too. And finally…” Monet smirks, curling her fingers around the trophy as Monique’s hand rests on top of hers and joins it. “…it wouldn’t be my career without me doing or saying something controversial, so why change the habit of a lifetime? THIS ONE’S FOR THE LESBIANS!”

With that, Monet and Monique lift the trophy in the air, the pyrotechnics go off in the background, and the two girls crash their lips together in a kiss that’s instantly broadcast to roughly nine million people. The audience is almost cheering the roof off the studio, Brooke is punching the air, and Vanessa screeches so loud and for so long that she’s momentarily worried for her lungs. Michelle smiles wryly as she concludes the show and the competition for another year, and the girls in the Divinatorium are given the green light to flood the ballroom floor, descending on the winners and the runners-up and showering them in hugs, kisses, and congratulations. And, just as she’d wanted, Vanessa sweeps Akeria and Monique into a tight hug, the three of them teary and euphoric, happy they’d done what they set out to do from the start.

Vanessa supposes she doesn’t need any alcohol at the afterparty given how completely drunk off Monique’s success she feels already, but she ends up being three glasses of celebratory champagne in anyway. It would be rude not to, and she’s never one to turn down free alcohol, but judging by the way the other girls are swaying around the hotel function room, she’s not holding up too badly in comparison. Blair has already been dispatched back to her flat in an Uber, Vixen’s coat thrown over her head to prevent any of the paparazzi getting any less than desirable photos. The Strictly afterparties are always riotous, and adding Willam into the mix doesn’t help matters either. So when Brooke taks Vanessa’s hand and tugs her in the direction of the fire exit to grab some fresh air, Vanessa is happy to follow and get a small break, some peace and quiet.

It’s nearing half past midnight and the street outside is becoming coated in a thin sheen of frost, one that makes the pavement sparkle under the yellow halo glow of the streetlamps. The paps have all scuttled back into the sewers from whence they came, already satisfied with the shots they got of Gigi and Crystal leaving hand-in-hand which are sure to get tongues wagging tomorrow. All is still, calm and quiet to the extent where Vanessa feels as if she’s experiencing some form of ambiguous space and time. If it’s cold outside, she doesn’t feel it.

“So? How’re you likin’ your first Strictly aftershow party?” Vanessa asks Brooke, punctuating her question with an ever-so-slightly tipsy wink. Brooke giggles as she leans against the brick wall, hissing a little at the cold.

“I don’t think I’m going to survive til the end,” she laughs. “Although Jackie keeps feeding me pints of water against my will, so it doesn’t even feel like I’ve had any alcohol despite the fact I’m making it my mission to drink the BBC out of house and home.”

“You’re too sensible,” Vanessa pouts, circling her arms around Brooke’s waist and squashing her cheek against her chest. After a moment to think, she chuckles. “Wonder how many Ofcom complaints Monet’s gonna get for that kiss.”

“Thousands. And good for her. Now everyone’s going to be talking about their win for years to come. That was a smart move,” Brooke nods appreciatively. “Guess those two will be girlfriends within the next twenty-four hours then.”

“Oh, for sure. It’s so clear that Monet’s head over heels in love with her,” Vanessa smiles, then her face drops as her heart siezes up.

It could be the night, it could be the champagne, it could be the way everything around them is sparkling, but Vanessa pulls her head up from Brooke’s chest, smiles as she looks her in the eye. There’s just one thing left to make the night as perfect as it could possibly be.

“What?” Brooke giggles a little, her gaze soft as she tucks a lock of hair behind Vanessa’s ear. “Why are you just staring at me? I know I’m pretty, but it’s rude to stare. Unless you want to take me back to yours. Then you can stare at me all you want. Preferably without any clothes on.”

“Brooke Lynn, shut up,” Vanessa laughs gently. Her heart is beating so fast in her throat that she feels as if it might crawl up and choke her, and every second she gets closer to admitting things she feels as if she’s about to pass out. But she takes a deep breath, squeezes Brooke tighter because if she does then Vanessa knows she won’t run away.

“I think I’m falling in love with you.”

Brooke’s jaw goes a little slack, in disbelief for a second before a smile slowly spreads onto her face. Vanessa can’t tell what that means, so she continues to babble on. “I promise it’s not because I’ve had a drink. I mean it. I really love you, and I know that’s a lot and you don’t have to say it back.”

“Vanessa,” Brooke brings a hand up to cup her jaw, which she immediately nuzzles into. “Me too.”

The validation makes Vanessa’s smile hurt her face. Brooke loves her. Brooke is in love with her. It’s an unspoken promise that they’re about to embark on a crazy but amazing journey together, one that Vanessa never wants to end, and she feels her heart ever-so-slightly break with how much and how intensely she loves her girlfriend.

“I love you,” Brooke says, through a nervous, excited giggle.

“I love you too,” Vanessa smiles back at her.

She tilts her head down to kiss her, their lips meeting urgently but their kiss slow, as if to match the kind of purgatory they’ve found themselves existing in. But it’s not, because kissing Brooke is like a heaven that Vanessa’s only ever dreamt of, and it’s real. She leans against her, both their bodies steadied by Brooke’s back against the wall, and when she pulls away she keeps their foreheads pressed together as if she’s not quite ready for their perfect moment to end.

It’s only in that second when Vanessa blinks that a bright flash clouds her vision and the sound of a shutter echoes from across the street. Her head snaps to the other side of the road and she’s met with the figure of a tall man, a brown bag slung over his shoulder which Vanessa instantly recognises as one which holds varying pieces of photographer’s equipment. He struggles under the weight of his long-lens camera before scurrying away out of sight.

When Vanessa turns back to look at Brooke, the pair of them splutter out a resigned laugh at the same time.

“Well. Guess that solves the problem of how we reveal our relationship to the world,” Brooke smirks. Her expression quickly changes into one of concern, and she takes one of Vanessa’s hands in hers. “Hey. You okay?”

Even a thousand camera flashes couldn’t stop how happy Vanessa feels. “I’m amazing.”

Brooke raises an eyebrow at her, as if to check. “Sure? Not bothered by the incriminating photos of us smooching in the street?”

Vanessa laughs, locking her fingers around Brooke’s knuckles. “We can deal with that tomorrow.”

Brooke’s expression relaxes and as it does, Vanessa leans against her and raises a suggestive eyebrow.

“Although maybe the poor guy needs a better shot. Maybe…” she smirks cheekily, tilting her face close to her girlfriend’s. “…we should keep kissing some more.”

And as Vanessa meets Brooke’s lips once again, she finds herself not caring about cameras, paparazzi, the newspapers or the media or the opinions of anyone else.

All she cares about is Brooke Lynn and the future they’ve got together, and all of that is worth a million glitterball trophies to her.

[crowsvalentine]

Lost Hope

Kaz and Inej do what they always do, they learn and they adapt. 

(not linked to any other fic, this is entirely stand alone)

Please give some feedback, I don’t write much angst and I kinda really like doing it but I’m not even sure if I’m any good!

It was a question he never thought he’d be asking. A possibility he’d never thought he’d be hoping for. A future he stopped wanting and never thought he’d ever have. They’d tried, almost every night, almost every minute they were free, they tried positions and techniques that randoms on the street had told them about, they tried. But nothing was happening. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered into her hair one night, “I tried giving you everything but I can’t give you this.” 

She placed her small hands on the sides of his face, smiling at him with a smile he would rather die than never see again. She promised him she still loved him no matter what, reminding him that she was with him for him and not his abilities. 

“Nina is back tomorrow and says she knows a healer who can help us,” she’d told him, “they can tell us if something is wrong.” 

She kissed his forehead before laying down next to him, back pressed to his chest as she slowly relaxed and fell asleep. He could’t join her, however, trying to understand why nothing was working for them when people who weren’t even trying get it so easily. Resting his chin on her shoulder, he looked down at the hand that was splayed over the bed, her fourth finger showing him that they’d done everything right up until then.

A week later he found himself sitting across the closed door to his own bedroom. The healer needed the room empty to concentrate, she’d ordered him out the moment she’d been done with him and called Inej in. Nina had slid down to the floor next to him, and if he were anyone else, he knew she’d have taken his hand in her own and promised him everything was going to be okay. But nothing was ever okay with them, even after years of them being at the top of the world. Things still went wrong, plans never went as they were supposed to, these are things that they dealt with on the daily. Yet, he felt like he never felt any of those other times. With every second that door was closed, he felt little cracks appearing inside him, things that were once sealed opening up once more at the thought of something being wrong. 

“It could be just the stress of wanting it so bad,” Nina finally said, “I knew of women who couldn’t until they’d stopped trying.”

“Too bad we don’t know how to stop trying.” 

She frowned and sighed before standing, holding her hand out to him in vain, knowing he wouldn’t take the help to stand. 

“Let’s go for a walk, Brekker, you need some air.” 

They walked, only down the street and back up again, Kaz not wanting stray far from the house in case they were called back in and he wasn’t there. It was the healer standing at the door that made him run the last few feet to the house, the look on her face quickly telling him what he didn’t want to hear.”

“I felt nothing inside of her,” the healer said, sipping from the cup of tea Nina had handed her. She’d put Inej to sleep for the checkup, and informed them that she’d be awake in a few hours and would want all of them there when she was told the news. They sat in the small kitchen until then, her and Nina drinking their tea while Kaz’s sat untouched in front of him. “There is usually something else alive inside women, millions of little bundles of cells that hold half a life. I didn’t feel any inside of her.” Kaz knew the basics to the reproductive system inside of women, but he was no healer or medik. “Eggs, Mister Brekker,” the healer said, “we call them eggs.” He knew of that. 

“She would have known if she’d been sterilized, wouldn’t she?” Nina asked

Kaz gripped the edge of the table, his nails scratching through the hard wood. He should have known, he should have at least suspected. The same thing was done to the girls at the White Rose, though the procedure was consensual, they’d had the choice whether to do it or not. Inej wasn’t given the choice, or the knowledge of it even happening. She wouldn’t have been the only one. He stood, fast enough to knock the chair he’d been sitting on to the ground, the motion and sound making the two women jump. 

“Send a runner when Inej wakes up,” he said as he started out toward the door.

“I need to know where you’re going to do that.”

“I’m going hunting for a peacock.” 

If the false plague that Nina had created did any damage to the Menagerie, the business didn’t show it. Men and women still streamed in and out of the building, not seeming to remember that just over a decade ago, a red X marked the front doors. Kaz scowled up at it before he walked in, the plague may have lessened business, but the fact that the building still stood and was pact with people, was enough for him to hate it. 

Heleen Van Houden seemed to be ageless, she still looked the same as she did the first time he’d seen her standing in the center of her brothel. It was the work of a tailor that Kaz knew was stowed away in one of the top floor bedrooms. Women like her didn’t deserve the privileges of a tailor, they deserved to grow old and wilt. 

She seemed to sense him walking in, her eyes going straight to him the moment he stepped inside. No words were said, but people screamed when Kaz pulled the gun out of his coat and aimed it directly between her jewel lined eyes. 

“It’s been a long time, Dirtyhands,” she drawled, looking unaffected by the weapon that could end her life in less than a second. “How’s my little Suli Lynx?” 

Kaz pressed down the trigger, smirking when she finally showed any ounce of fear. The gun clicked, but no bullet was released. 

“Imagine if it was loaded,” he finally said, “it may not be my way anymore, but I’m not incapable of killing if I have a good reason.” He paused and looked around, all eyes were on them. “Remember that you’ve given me a reason, Heleen, but I need some names before I put a hole through your head.” 

Threats like this would have had him picked up by the Stadwatch in a matter of minutes, but he was Kaz Brekker, he owned the Stadwatch and after everything she’s done, all Heleen Van Houden had were some diamonds and a handful of girls that would leave her side the second they could. 

He sat across from her in her office, being escorted there by the hired muscle that stood at the Menagerie doors, Kaz wanted to show her how her men wouldn’t lay a hand on him even if she told them to, but he didn’t, he still liked the idea of Heleen thinking she was safe.

“I’m not going to kill you,” he paused, “today. But I should.”

She didn’t let out a sigh of relief, only shifted her eyes to the one-way glass that surrounded her office. She could look out, but no one could look in, something that is critical in her establishment because she needed to know what her girls were up to when she wasn’t around. However, in the past she looked around in glee, her entire world laid out in front of her making her money and giving her everything she ever wanted. Now, as she looked out, Kaz could see thoughts swimming through her head that scared even the great Tante Heleen. He smirked.

“It will all be taken away eventually, Heleen,” he reminded her, “just because I’m not putting a bullet through your head or slicing open your throat at this very moment, doesn’t mean it won’t happen.”

“And why is my life on your list now, Brekker? I haven’t gone after that Suli Lynx of yours in years.” 

“Why?” He stood, eyes narrowed and teeth bared, the image of Dirtyhands from those first few years of his arrival coming back ten fold, and Heleen looked ready to soil herself. “Because I’m trying to have a fucking family but my wife can’t bare my fucking children!” 

She froze, the tiniest of smiles ghosting over her face that Kaz wanted to blow off with a bullet. But he couldn’t, he still needed her. 

“She was sterilized for her own good, Brekker, all the girls are,” she spoke as if it was a gift, the best thing she could give her slaves. “It’s not my fault she couldn’t understand what was being said to her.”

“Translators exist.”

“I didn’t want a translator, I wanted whores who couldn’t get pregnant.” 

He did as he had done back at the house, digging his nails into the hard wood of his chair’s arm rests, trying to keep the urge to dig a blade through her heart at bay while he finished what he came for. 

“Names, of the healer who did it, of the men who held her down, and any one else involved.” 

She said nothing, just sat back, smiling at him with the same smile as before. 

“What do I get in return?”

He moved quickly, as she was talking he’d reloaded his gun, and now, it had one less bullet, and Heleen stared at the shattered glass that now lined her office floor. He’d broken the peacock figurine she had perched on her desk, the bullet now embedded in the only real wall of her office, right near her arm. 

“I don’t put the next one through your skull.” 

As he listened, memorizing every name and address that she listed off for him, he imagined the bullet hitting her right between her eyes, wanting to see her body hit her desk, blood pooling all over the contracts and the forged indenture agreements. However, he just sat, making no move to make his imagination come to life. By the end of it, she sat, stiff as if bracing herself for something.

Then he stood, and she raised her arms to protect herself.

“Thank you, Heleen,” he said, buttoning his coat with the gun still in his hand. He said nothing else when he turned and made for the door, not planning to turn around at all to even look at her one last time. But then-

“You should be happy that whore can’t ha-”

Heleen Van Houden, Tante Heleen, The Peacock, hit the floor like any other barrel rat, one eye wide, the other blown out by a bullet. No parade, no fireworks, just another body for the boats to take at night and dump in the water. 

When he stepped out of the office, all eyes were on him, everyone hearing the shots but not understanding a thing. Kaz stood facing them all, face hard, hands resting easily on his cane. 

“Everyone but those who work here get out in the next five seconds or the next bullets will go through you.” 

People ran screaming, and the girls huddled together on one of the feathery couches. Kaz waited the five seconds, and five more before he put the gun back into his coat. 

“Where the fuck have you been, Brekker? How do you just leave Inej like that, how can you,” Kaz tuned Nina out as he made his way through the house. He climbed the stairs slowly, so slowly that Nina took a step back just to watch. He put a hand up to stop her, shaking his head when she questioned him. He needed to be with her alone, and Nina thankfully understood this. 

“I’m so sorry,” she said the moment he stepped into the room, and his heart shattered into a million pieces when her voice cracked and tears started down her cheeks. She stood in the middle of the room, practically falling into him when he wrapped his arms under her and lifted her. She continued crying as he walked to the bed, and didn’t stop even when he sat her down on his lap.

“You did nothing, Inej,” he whispered, “nothing is your fault, nothing.” 

“I can’t, I can’t give you what you want. What you deserve, Kaz, you’ve tried so hard to,” she took in a shaky breath, and Kaz pressed his lips to her head as she did, “tried so hard to change, you did change, and now I can’t-”

“Inej, Inej I didn’t change to have this,” he assured her, she sniffled and finally looked back up at him. 

“Yes you did, this is what you wanted, and I-”

“I didn’t change to have a child, Inej,” he said again, “I changed to have you, to have you in my life, I took off all my armour for you, I became a better man for you, you and no one else.” 

She nodded slowly and laid her head back down on his shoulder, and Kaz understood. He shifted, not letting go even once as he moved back on the bed to rest against the headboard. She needed to cry, she needed him to hold her. She was strong, but there are things that could break even her. Even if for only a little while. 

“I killed her,” he finally said after almost hours of silence, “Heleen, she’s dead. She can’t hurt any more girls.”

She looked at him for the first time, her eyes red, her lip swollen from where she was biting it, and she looked relieved. Taking his face between her hands, she brought him up to press his forehead against her’s, closing her eyes as she took a deep breath.

“Thank you, Kaz, thank you for saving me and all of them.” 

[ot5]

@tllthesundies HAPPY BIRTHDAY BITCH!!!🎉💖🌸💞🎂✨💌💖💞💗🎊🎉🍾💗🎂💕💖✨🎊💖🌹🍾🎉💘💕💌🌻❤️✨🌷💞🎉❤️💝🎂💘

so for this special occasion i used my amazing photoshop paint skills to make u this taylourry manip since there’s an unfortunate lack of those:/ they’re baking you three (3) cakes how great is that😫 louis, of course, asked ‘how do you whisk’ all three times and taylor n harry just shared a look and fondly rolled their eyes at him. i like to imagine they were singing along to britney classics and also laughing about how louis’ album and lyrics will shake us to our core bc they live for that drama👀 and cant wait to watch us freak out. of course at some point louis started throwing flour at taylor &harry which ended up in a messy kitchen fight.

thanks for reading my mini taylourry fic excuse the lack of angst i kno you live for that shit but anyways as i was saying, happy birthday bith! i hope u have a great one!! i cant believe you've turned 20 today🤧 you were already settling down at the old age of 19 an now you’re entering the final Grandma stage *kylie jenner dabbing tears.gif* as an og violin i feel blessed to have followed ur journey and  watched you grow up & to have experienced ur crazy crackhead days which i lowkey miss sometimes it was truly a blast with ur shit posts and you saying things that still haunt me in my sleep. since im getting Sentimental™ you know what else i miss in this chilis today? you getting asks & Interacting on here bc i recall thats what started my soft spot for u. you’re [louis voice] genuinely Genuinely one of the sweetest people ive seen on here like everytime you called someone crouton or replied with a row of heart emoji’s my heart grew 10 sizes bigger💗💗 i hate that my memory is shit and there’s no blog/archive anymore(rip in pieces we’ll get to that later) that i can search thru for those Receipts but i know not one (1) mean word has ever left your mouth, or keybord in this case, those are the Facts #confirmed by me! even back in the day when i was blissfully unaware of any drama and this hellsite was just a happy place u still stood out to me bc when you answered asks or whatever you were just so nice! kind! and sweet! and funny too i feel like u raised me on memes (i also appreciate that u tolerate me w my crusty sense of humor and memes from 2013) and tbh when i saw you were younger than me i was Shook bc you felt like an older sister to me with wise words and just this calm&kind presence on tumblr dot com where everyone always takes offense u were idk the word..... rational/nuanced/patient/understanding? ive thought it many times before but if everyone here were a bit more like you this place would be a nice valley filled with blossoming flowers sawying in a gentle breeze on a warm spring day🌻🌷🌸 (i know u prefer fall so u can represent a Quality Leaf too if u want and i’ll ship you w niall #neaf) anyway as my melancholic ass was saying, i sometimes miss @harryandlouisofficial /harryandlouisau? idk you’ve had your fair share of changes(as i was searching through my own blog for a certain pic i came across some deactivated urls that i think were yours lsdknvds) but that harryandlouis brand™ was truly You and just such a familiarity on my dash and tbh if i come across any blogs that start w harryandlouis im always side eyeing them for that copyright infringement of intellectual property. Even before we really started talking i already felt like i knew you bc you were always....out there...talking, yellin n sprouting bullshit which was [me as that gif of pam from the office tearing up] beautiful😫 like i didnt even know about the existence of the vampire diaries but u were practically screaming about it on a daily basis and lowkey got me to crush on nina dobrev bc of it also ur love for tom odell, soup, domestic hl, Angst, the midnight memories album, that purple suit harry wore to the late late show, birdy, those literature ppl whose names im not even gonna bother with, and of course taylourry & how do you whisk, they’re all filed under ‘Things That Belong To Violet’ and i kno yelling about thing or reblogging ask memes or doing those tag things doesnt go with ur Brand but i wish it did bc there’s so much i wanna know or ask or just see what you think about things👀 u could make a post saying ‘potato’ and eventho id disagree id still be over here giving a standing ovation

this is getting long im so sorry snlkdfnsld i was going somewhere but im kinda losing the plot. So anyhow the point was that ur an angel! and idk also intimidating to me back in the day? ive sent my fair share of anons (nice ones of course nskldnsf) and i vaguely rmr asking for advice a few times too and you were always so kind n wonderful🤧 and then one day i sent smth nice off anon and you followed me back even with the ugly ass url i had back then lfnvslknsd bless you and now here we are:) so i love getting sentimental and reminiscing about the old days but also know that i admire u for jus deleting and starting afresh! kween of rebranding!👏👏 and this tiddiesundays era feels like ur a professional business woman or maybe more like a professional writer who has that clean & calm aesthetic down to a T and i might’ve turned notifs on so i wont miss that one quality (1) post per day sdlknlksdn i love showing my Love thru liking and rb’ing a lot so you make it hard on me sometimes(rmr when we were each other biggest fans? good times😫) but jus kno my heart’s still beating the same yes thats a sad attempt at a oial ref bc that is also filed under the things that belong to u. i dont wanna like, overwhelm? you bc im sometimes afraid ill b too much but know that im always out here rooting for u &hoping that ur doing great bc this bitch has a lot of love and adoration for u!!💗 i know some v sweet people on here but you are just.....on another level like just your presence here clears my skin and puts a big smile on my face esp when u drag me or vice versa for having certain Opinons (like the 1d album or song discourse) dont @ me but ur truly one of my favorite people. One day when you give me the go ahead im gonna send you that card/letter and i’ll get even sappier (yes thats possible!) i was gonna wish you a sunny day but for some reason u love rain so...i hope it rains:’) or else you can move your ass over here so at least one of us can appreciate the dutch weather also i would toast to you but i think ur still not legally allowed to drink which is also a reason to get ur ass over here bc i feel like you’d be a blast to get drunk with (also shout out to you for indulging me in my wine aunt moments u were truly there for me when no one else was🤧came thru with lyrics to tmh bops faster than lightning ill never forget that!) so to conclude this Essay i lov u & hope u have an amazing birthday *serenades you with tom odell songs*💗💕💖💘💗💕💖💝💗💞💘💕💞💖💕💗💝💖💘💞💕💗

[fancybois]

Tagged by @bergarass thank you Nina!! <3

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

last

1. drink - coffee?? yikes i should drink some water

2. phone call - my mom

3. text message - one i sent: “the rat laugh haha”

4. song you listened to - Your Guardian Angel by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

5. time you cried - look i cry all the time, i think the last time i cried with tears streaming down my face i was thinking about steven idk

ever

6. dated someone twice? - nope

7. kissed someone and regretted it - no

8. been cheated on - i dont think so!

9. lost someone special - heh yeah :/

10. been depressed - buddy,, my dude, fuckin yes

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - YES,, its nasty

fave colours

12. maroon 

13. teal

14.  heather grey

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends - yeah! im lookin @ u worth it pals!

16. fallen out of love - every so slowly, yes

17. laughed until you cried - i dont think so

18. found out someone was talking about you - no not that i recall

19. met someone who changed you - not in 2018 no

20. found out who your friends are - yeah, its a nice change tbh

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - nah

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - most of them ive met at least once since i only friend people i know

23. do you have any pets - :( no

24. do you want to change your name - nah man i love my name

25. what did you do for your last birthday - it was honestly the best birthday and this years wont top it sadly;; I went with my then girlfriend on a walking tour in the morning and then we got lunch and then later on i went to dinner with some other close friends! 

26. what time did you wake up today - 8:30 am

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - drinking with some new friends!

28. what is something you can’t wait for - NEXT WEEKS WORTH IT

30. what are you listening to right now - the fan in my computer whirring

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - yeah, my cousin and my uncle!

32. something that’s getting on your nerves -  PEOPLE NOT USING THEIR BLINKERS TO TURN

33. most visited website - tumblr absolutely 

34. hair colour - brown

35. long or short hair - on me? longer

36. do you have a crush on someone - Probs Steven tbh

37. what do you like about yourself - tbh how much of a contradiction i can be, i even hate it sometimes, catch me with the consistency 

38. want any piercings? - ive always wanted an eyebrow peicing

39. blood type - fuck idk

40. nicknames - Joy is my nickname actually

41. relationship status - single 

42. zodiac - aries

43. pronouns - she/her

44. fave tv shows - b99, steven universe, sense8; those are my top 3

45. tattoos - i love them but i get tired of things easily so its a bad idea, but maybe one day

46. right or left handed - lefty

47. ever had surgery - ye, tonsils

48. piercings - ears

49. sport - uh, archery, i enjoyed that when i did it in undergrad

50. vacation - i wanna go EVERYWHERE, but i think the next one will be chicago

51. trainers - the shoes? i have them?

more general

52. eating - i had some scrambled eggs for dinner

53. drinking - nothing

54. i’m about to watch - the back of my eyelids as i go to sleep

55. waiting for - Worth it next week, did i stutter?

56. want - to be happy, healthy, a stable job and a dog

57. get married - we’ll see

58. career - currently interning in public affairs

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - hugs, yeah that mmm

60. lips or eyes - eyes

61. shorter or taller - medium

62. older or younger - have we been talking about attraction to? uh? it doesn’t matter to me.

63. nice arms or stomach - nice thighs bih

64. hookup or relationship - relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant - im good with both tbh

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger - no

67. drank hard liquor - OH yeah

68. lost glasses - thank god no

69. turned someone down - yeep

70. sex on first date - nope

71. broken someones heart - yeahhh :/

72. had your heart broken - ABSOLUTELY

73. been arrested - nope

74. cried when someone died - not irl

75. fallen for a friend - mmhm

do you believe in

76. yourself - *pained face* SOMETIMES

77. miracles - ... actually a little

78. love at first sight - maybe love at first chat... yeah

79. santa claus - no

80. kiss on a first date - if i click with them yeah

81. angels - id like to believe it

other

82. best friend’s name - i have a few! but my oldest friend is Katt

83. eye colour - dark brown

84. fave movie - Pacific Rim and Scott Pilgrim are the first two that come to mind

85. fave actor - Will Smith honestly ill watch anything he’s in and he’s a great dude. I cant think of any actresses off the top of my head im so sorry

I’m tagging!: @poiregourmande, @brunchcrush, @brunchfact, @transilnyckyj, @worthitbfs, @worthitboys, @lavab0y, @leiasreys, @buzzfeedworthit, @muhdej, @halfwheeze, @jeppys, @undreamedconstellations

[bergarass]

tagged by vikki @chimeoffbro ty ily!!

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

last

1. drink - woter

2. phone call - mommers

3. text message - one of my friends on msger i forgot

4. song you listened to - stir fry - migos

5. time you cried - about a week ago in the shower when i was thinking abt nathan chen and his stunning fs at the olympics

ever

6. dated someone twice? - nu

7. kissed someone and regretted it - nu

8. been cheated on - i ain’t ever been in a relationship so i mean

9. lost someone special - :’(

10. been depressed - jdkfhksjdfj

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - nop

fave colours

12. orange!!!!

13. oxblood

14.  gunmetal grey

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends - yis!! esp on here

16. fallen out of love - hmm falling out of love with nathan chen? impossible

17. laughed until you cried - yes LMAO

18. found out someone was talking about you - yeah i mean ppl talk shit it happens

19. met someone who changed you - changed certain aspects of me? ofc, i always aspire to be better than who i was

20. found out who your friends are - <3

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - nop

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - oooo uh most of them but some are literally just acquaintances

23. do you have any pets - nu

24. do you want to change your name - nina’s a pretty cute name i’ll pass

25. what did you do for your last birthday - nothing much

26. what time did you wake up today - 6:45am

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - sleeping

28. what is something you can’t wait for - WORLD FS CHAMPIONSHIPS

30. what are you listening to right now - my art hist teacher talking

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - nop

32. something that’s getting on your nerves -  overzealous ppl on tumblr

33. most visited website - tumblr probs HAHA

34. hair colour - black

35. long or short hair - shoulder length, but a bit longer

36. do you have a crush on someone - nathan wei chen and maia shibutani!!!!

37. what do you like about yourself - lots of things, esp my maternalism and resilience

38. want any piercings? - yeah, maybe my ears (cartilage piercings too)

39. blood type - O posi!!

40. nicknames - ninob, neen, nob(s), ho, raven

41. relationship status - getting fucked over by decathlon and school 

42. zodiac - taurus

43. pronouns - she/her

44. fave tv shows - i don’t watch tv anymore, bc web series are where it’s at!!!

45. tattoos - i want some !!! maybe sth on my ribcage, under my heart

46. right or left handed - right

47. ever had surgery - nop

48. piercings - none

49. sport - academic decathlon, bc it’s an intellectual sport (^:

50. vacation - i wna go to paris or scotland!

51. trainers - hmm i have like 3 pairs but tbh if i had the budget i would be stuntin in a lot of nikes

more general

52. eating -just had a chocolate muffin and apple slices

53. drinking - oj

54. i’m about to watch - my stats grade plummet to hell

55. waiting for - senior yr to be over bc i’m 100% done with school

56. want - 500k in a duffel bag, nathan chen, and no priorities

57. get married - in the future def!

58. career - working on it (bioengineering pls don’t whoop my ass too hard)

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - hugs are gr8 from anyone!!!!!

60. lips or eyes - eyes

61. shorter or taller - tbh tall ppl are great, as long as they’re not too short issa fine

62. older or younger - doesn’t matter, as long as it’s not a huge age gap

63. nice arms or stomach - toned arms??? N U T

64. hookup or relationship - relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant - hmmmm lil bit of both

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger - nop

67. drank hard liquor - nop

68. lost glasses - fhjksdhfkjds way too many times

69. turned someone down - yoike! yes

70. sex on first date - nah

71. broken someones heart - yoike! (also yes)

72. had your heart broken - lol!

73. been arrested - not yet

74. cried when someone died - :’(

75. fallen for a friend - yeahahhahahahjhjsk

do you believe in

76. yourself - of course, but sometimes i can be a lil insecure hoe

77. miracles - ye!

78. love at first sight - nop

79. santa claus - nah

80. kiss on a first date - if it’s nathan? sure

81. angels - hmmmmmmmm 

other

82. best friend’s name - i’d say some of my decathlon buds!

83. eye colour - dark brown

84. fave movie - grand budapest hotel

85. fave actor - eddie redmayne is phenomenal! as well as saoirse ronan!

tagging @brunchcrush, @ghostiac, @not-ghost-proof, @wimpydemons, @stevenfact, @fancybois, @raakxhyr, @unsolvedbs and anyone else who wants to do this!!

[detoxdolan]

Another Late Tag

🎀Rules: Answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people some of your faves.

I am aware that this is hella long and hella late, but I appreciate being tagged in these things and I love learning about all you lovely people in the fandom.

ALRIGHT LETS GET ITTTTT.

Last: 1. Drink - H2O bro 2. Phone call - I got a phone call from an unknown number while I was at work, so I called back and a random lady with a British accent answered and said she never called me??? 🤔 3. Text message - I’m currently absent from a game, so one of my teammates is filling me in on all the tea I’m missing. Apparently there’s beef between teams. 👀 4. Song you listened to - Praise You by Fatboy Slim (it was in a playlist, let me live.) 😂 5. Time you cried - uhhh Monday (today is Wednesday). So basically two days ago. 😅

Ever: 6. Dated someone twice? - Yes haha 7. Kissed someone and regretted it - Definitely.  8. Been cheated on - stealing this quote from @spiffydolan​ 👉 “technically yes, but really no” 9. Lost someone special - Yes 😳 10. Been depressed - ..Yes. 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up - haha never 😁😁

3 Favorite colours: 12. Neutrals - Black, white, and beige  13. Blue!!! 14. Trendy Colours - so your basic olive green, millennial pink, maroon etc etc 

In the last year (2017) have you: 15. Made new friends - I made this account in December and made so many friends on here that I’m so grateful for every day 😭AND THAT’S JUST ON TUMBLR. I feel like I branched out a lot this year and met so many cool ppl. 2017 was a good year.  16. Fallen out of love - Yes..and tbh it’s one of the worst feelings ever.  17. Laughed until you cried - not something I do often, but I think so. 18. Found out someone was talking about you - haha all the time #TalkShitGetHit 19. Met someone who changed you - Yes.  20. Found out who your friends are - “When people show you their true colours, believe them.” 👉 I feel like we all know the truth about who people are and its just a matter of whether we want to admit it to ourselves or not. There are a lot of people in my life that I know shouldn’t be here but I don’t have the heart to let go of just yet..it’s a work in progress.  21. Kissed someone on your Facebook friends list - uhhhhh probably LOL

General: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know irl - tbh, I tried to do a facebook cleanse and remove anyone I didn’t associate with in real life but that lasted for like 2 seconds LMAO 23. Do you have any pets - I have a weenie dog 😊 24. Do you want to change your name - I don’t quite like my name, but I don’t think anything else would match me???  25. What did you do for your last birthday - I went to a club with my 2 best friends and we ran into some friends and celebrated all together. Then I had a intimate little dinner with all my closest friends and family. OH I also cut all my hair off - so I guess there’s that 😂😂 Best birthday I’ve had so far. 26. What time did you wake up today - 7:45 am, even though my alarm was set for 8:45 🙄 27. What were you doing at midnight last night - Sleeping, most likely. Or finishing up a FaceTime sesh with @silly-silly-fangirl​  28. What is something you can’t wait for - Everything and anything involving @silly-silly-fangirl​ #Toronto2k18 30. What are you listening to right now - Teen Rocket by Tigers Jaw (against my better judgement, this is for a music challenge)  31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom - I..don’t think so? 32. Something that’s getting on your nerves - Haha a lot of things. Uhh lets see: My boss, my friends, negative ppl EVERYWHERE 33. Most visited website - Probably Tumblr or YouTube 34. Hair color - Chestnut Brown. I know this because when I used to colour pictures as a kid with pencil crayon, I would use the Chestnut Brown pencil crayon for my hair. 😂😂 35. Long or short hair -  In the aforementioned birthday question, I cut all my hair off, but its growing back.                                                                                          36. Do you have a crush on someone - Lol I have like..a crush for every occasion. I have a work crush, a school crush, a basketball crush..literally a crush for every place I go.                                                                                   37. What do you like about yourself - Turning Pain into Power, Positivity, and Patience. 4 P’s 🙏

38. Want any piercings? - I was thinking about getting my seconds because literally everyone has so many badass piercings and I dont (my parents would kill me). 39. Blood type - B positive! I got tested at a lil set up at my school for blood donation. DONATE BLOOD YALL!!!! Seriously, you could save like 3 lives from that ish.  40. Nicknames - Ni, Nina, Nitts/Mama Nitts (why), Nids, NiNi, T, Nitty, Littya etc etc 41. Relationship status - Single and satisfied ✌️ 42. Zodiac - Leo ♌ 43. Pronouns - she/her 44. Favorite TV shows - Jane the Virgin, How To Get Away With Murder, Riverdale (these are just recents)  45. Tattoos - Honey....would u put a bumper sticker on a bentley  46. Right or left handed - righty is tighty  ✌️ ✌️ 47. Ever had surgery - I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed, but I wasn’t put to sleep. I had local anesthetic and I was awake for the whole thing, IT WAS FUCKING BRUTAL I cried the whole time the dental assistant had to wipe my tears throughout the procedure lmao  48. Piercings - I have a tongue ring 😜🤘 49. Sport - Cheerleading 🎀 50. Vacation - Tryna reach NOLA for Mardi Gras next year you already knowwww @spiffydolan​ 🎉🎉 51. Trainers - wut

More general: 52. Eating - either way too much or not enough and no in between 53. Drinking - Water. Always water. I got some free coconut water at work though, so I mean that was pretty cool. 54. I’m about to watch - Riverdale? idk I got a lot of shows to catch up on. 55. Waiting for - My new apartment to be ready! 🤗 56. Want - mostly just a bunch of household things for my new place. But also, want @silly-silly-fangirl​ to come visit me in Toronto :( 57. Get married - Yeah, maybe. I gotta find someone to like me first 😅 58. Career - I’ve lowkey always wanted to be a teacher and my entire life has basically been me avoiding becoming a teacher soooo yeah lmao. Right now I’m on the track to Midwifery but I’m? chaning my mind?? idk. 

Which is better: 59. Hugs or kisses - I wanna say hugs cause I feel like you can’t kiss everyone. But the people you can kiss...damn.  60. Lips or eyes - eyes 61. Shorter or taller - I’m not one of those cute, dainty, short girls. I’m 5′6, so taller would be appreciated  😅 62. Older or younger - older 63. Nice arms or stomach - I have neither so 💁 64. Hookup or relationship - Relationship? idk I’m kinda living the single life rn and I’m just chilling so I wouldn’t mind a casual thing here or there BUT WHO HAS THE TIME 65. Troublemaker or hesitant - I’m the best mix of both 😏

Have you ever: 66. Kissed a stranger - Yes 🙈 67. Drank hard liquor - Yes 68. Lost glasses - Probably 69. Turned someone down - Yes 😪 70. Sex on first date - Not...yet? 71. Broken someones heart - Yes  72. Had your heart broken - Yes 😞 73. Been arrested - Nope 😇 74. Cried when someone died - Yes 💔 75. Fallen for a friend - Not a close friend, but yeah.

Do you believe in: 76. Yourself - I do 😌 77. Miracles - Absolutely 78. Love at first sight - Maybe not? Probably more like a significant encounter typa vibe

79. Santa Claus - haha no 80. Kiss on a first date - To be proper, no. Butttt there are def exceptions. 81. Angels - YES 

Other: 82. Best friend’s name - In the great words of Mindy Kaling “Best friend is a tier, not a person.” Butttt @silly-silly-fangirl​ (If u couldn’t already tell) is one of my favorite people on this planet atm. 83. ‎Eye color - Brown? I wanna say hazel, but the twins literally INVENTED hazel w their eye colour and I cannot compete. 84. Favorite movie - Hardest question ever...I always say Zorro 85. ‎Favorite actor - Leonardo DiCaprio? Viola Davis? Robert DeNiro??

Thank you so so much to @spiffydolan for the tag. U da best. 💜💜

Gonna tag some of my favorite blogs at the moment. If you’ve already been tagged/want to sit out of this tag, consider this a shoutout! Thanks for being awesome 😊 @ethandolanakae-tee-wee-tee @laneswervingdolan @pandasaremyspritanimal @broncodolan @silly-silly-fangirl @coconutethan @dolanwaffles

[shelbygoodkind]

thank u legends @wocs​ @jezzykeery​ and @annakemdrick​ for the tags ! im love yall

i m not gonna tag 20 people but @httplaurmani @bodyglitter @annakensrick @ilovespeaknow @normila @ljaureguis @cutestheaux @chensbf @progemini

Rules: Answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

last

1. drink - water

2. phone call - my friend sam

3. text message - my friend sophie sent me n my other friend a song to listen to an i aint do it cause im the worst

4. song you listened to - runaway by ed sheeran lmao

5. time you cried - i think yesterdaygfhjdskgfd

ever

6. dated someone twice? - ive never dated someone onceghfjgsdkf

7. kissed someone and regretted it - fhjkdgdfs um kinda?

8. been cheated on - nop

9. lost someone special - yup

10. been depressed - i odnt think ive ever been not depressed!

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - thank god no

fave colours

12. blue

13. pink

14. green

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends - yes

16. fallen out of love - no

17. laughed until you cried - probably but i cant remember it

18. found out someone was talking about you - idk what this means

19. met someone who changed you - i dont think so?

20. found out who your friends are - i been knew

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - who is facebook

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - like 95% of them 

23. do you have any pets - a dog who im love more than anything on this earth

24. do you want to change your name - no?

25. what did you do for your last birthday - my mom made french toast n i hung out with my friends and then i went to dinner

26. what time did you wake up today - 9:15 :(

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - homework

28. what is something you cant wait for - my tyler the creator concert :))

30. what are you listening to right now - the microwave

31. have you ever talk to a person named tom - yesgjdfhgfd why s this a question

32. something thats getting on your nerves - the water in my microwave mac & cheese isnt fucking evaporating so now i have macaroni soup

33. most visited website - tumblr.com/delete

34. hair colour - brown

35. long or short hair - it used to be long n then i got it cut to like medium

36. do you have a crush on someone - mind ur bisness!

37. what do you like about yourself - im iconic

38. want any piercings? - ive always wanted a septum piercing but m not sure about it and also cartilage kinda but i feel like id just play with it too much n pull it outgfdgsdf 

39. blood type - i dont ufcknjg know?

40. nicknames - bitch!

41. relationship status - mEnTaLLy DaTiNg hArrY sTyLeZ!!!!!

42. zodiac - virgo

43. pronouns - she/her/bitch igfds,jghfd im stealing brunas answer for this

44. fave tv shows - m just gonna do shows that are still airing so criminal minds b99, the good place, fresh off the boat, shameless, & jane the virgin

45. tattoos - i have 1 nd i wanna get my 2nd really soon

46. right or left handed - right

47. ever had surgery - no but im getting my wisdom teeth out soon

48. piercings - 0

49. sport - i used to play soccer but i got assthma

50. vacation - what does thi smean

51. trainers - ???????????

more general

52. eating - thats something ido ?

53. drinking - also something i do! 

54. im about to watch - my life slowly slip away from me 

55. waiting for - my next class

56. want - immediate death

57. get married - or what !!

58. career - i am . a child

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - i hate small talk i wanna suck ur dick & ur d     ick &ur suck ur dick and ur religouos dick & sukc y

60. lips or eyes - lips

61. shorter or taller - taller than me i hope !! my 5′1 ass smh

62. older or younger - i cannot date someone younger than me thats against the law!

63. nice arms or stomach - arms

64. hookup or relationship - ummgfd it depends i’d rather hookup w a guy but date a girl

65. troublemaker or hesitant - i dotn understand the question

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger - yes

67. drank hard liquor - yes

68. lost glasses - yes

69. turned someone down - yes

70. sex on first date - no!

71. broken someones heart - i dont believe so

72. had your heart broken - yeah but not like by other people just bymsyself really ok facts bruna!

73. been arrested - gjhsdfklfdhlgdf no

74. cried when someone died - um yes thats what u do when people die?

75. fallen for a friend -  i dont think ive ever not fallen for a frienfgdsgfd

do you believe in

76. yourself - shes trying! once again mood bruna!

77. miracles - sometimes i guesS?

78. love at first sight - no

79. santa clause - ughjdfgs whos that

80. kiss on a first date - sure

81. angels - no but yes bruna u are an angel

other

82. best friend’s name - paul & jane

83. eye colour - blue

84. fave movie - i have a lot but the little mermaid & the lion king were my first faves

85. fave actor - uhhgfd alycia debnam carey & nina dobrev

[lovelylarrie]

hello all 95 pls ily ;))))))))))

Nina you’re the biggest asshole I’ve ever met. Also theres only 92 but ily so here u go:

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?it was you but yeah after u take me on a date (;

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?No?

3. Have you taken someones virginity?This is escalating quickly but no lmao

4. Is trust a big issue for you?Only for people who have broken it

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?No, but I will v soon 😛

6. What are you excited for?U to come visit me

7. What happened tonight?I made my first follow forever (shameless self-promo)

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?Not really, you do you!

9. Is confidence cute?YES

10. What is the last beverage you had?Water

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?A big fat 0

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?Yes?

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?Work lmao

14. What are you going to spend money on next?UNIVERSAL TICKETS WITH @sbblou

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?Nooooooo lol

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?YES! I’ve changed so much in the past 3 months that I wouldnt doubt it

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?You, @teentomlinson @sbblou  @spacegaycombeferre @ummharrystyles @louisispuresunshine and @hellaplantsjpg

18. The last time you felt broken?Like the end of September to the beginning of October 

19. Have you had sex today?yep 4 times actually (im kidding)

20. Are you starting to realize anything?That I’m finally happy and in a good place I think?

21. Are you in a good mood?Im kinda salty im only on 21 and that u made me do this

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?I mean I dont have the pressing desire to do so atm but like I would if the offer presented itself

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?I don’t have a dad

24. What do you want right this second?Chipotle

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?Im happy for u, idfk

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?No

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?No wtf kind of question is this? 

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?My answer to #23

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?Yep

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?I think so, unless you like killed someone. I think everyone can change for the better so yeah.

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?Yeah most boys suck

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?Yes

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?Kind of? Like I’ll have sweet tea, coffee, and water before I’ll have soda. 

34. Listening to?Actually nothing which is really sad so I’m gonna put on the new Maroon 5 album

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?Yeah?

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?No, probably somewhere in the states of minnesota if I were to take a guess

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?No, sounds fake

38. Who did you last call?@teentomlinson and @spacegaycombeferre did a 3 way last night

39. Who was the last person you danced with?Idfk

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?Bc I thought it would be cool

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?Never, fuck cupcakes

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?No I have not even seen them today

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?I’ve embarrassed myself in front of every person I’ve ever talked to so yes

44. Do you tan in the nude?When I used to use tanning beds, yes

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?Nah, it didnt really mean anything so whatever

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?No?

47. Who was the last person to call you?Probs my mom

48. Do you sing in the shower?No but i sing everywhere else

49. Do you dance in the car?All the time

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?I think in like 7th grade we did it in gym

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?Senior picures, so Fall 2015

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?Yes

53. Is Christmas stressful?Not really

54. Ever eat a pierogi?wtf

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?FUCK FRUIT PIE

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?Doctor and actress

57. Do you believe in ghosts?Meh, sometimes but not really

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?already answered

59. Take a vitamin daily?No

60. Wear slippers?No

61. Wear a bath robe?No

62. What do you wear to bed?Shorts and a tee shirt

63. First concert?T*ylor Sw*ft

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?Target, obviously

65.-69.already answered

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?whatever tf you’re gonna be(;

71. Can you curl your tongue?Yeah 

72. Ever won a spelling bee?No fuck spelling

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?All the time

74. What is your favorite book?Does Y&B count?

75. Do you study better with or without music?Without bc ill literally start singing the song instead of studying

76. Regularly burn incense?No

77. Ever been in love?No

78. Who would you like to see in concert?LOUIS MF TOMLINSON

79. What was the last concert you saw?Louis’ husband, HARRY MF STYLES

80. Hot tea or cold tea?Cold, hot drinks make me sweat lol

81. Tea or coffee?COFFEE

82. Favorite type of cookie?Double chocolate chip or just regs chocolate chip

83. Can you swim well?I can swim, just not well

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?Not if im jumping into a pool

85. Are you patient?I thought this said “are you a patient” and I was like wtf. But the answer is no.

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?a band would be pretty cool

87. Ever won a contest?I won a radio contest once and got $150 

88. Ever have plastic surgery?No

89. Which are better black or green olives?BLACK

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?you do you, but i think the whole “sex before marriage is bad” thing is so fake

91. Best room for a fireplace?Living room

92. Do you want to get marriedWe already are?

[ice-ice-taeyong]

Know Me Better

I was tagged by my fave @historicfailure (who’s fics you should all read, they’re great and I beta them!) and I finally had time to sit and write some tumblr posts so without further ado...

Name: Nina

Gender: Female

Starsign: Scorpio

Height: 5′2″

Sexuality: Very, very pan. All of the people are too attractive. Selfie chains make me a little faint from how good looking people are

Wallpapers: My phone’s wallpapers are a picture of my boyfriend and a picture I took on a trip. My laptop is a picture of BTS and an image from Free!

Ever had a crush on a teacher? Maybe? I can’t really remember

Last person I texted/what it said: My boyfriend/ “Good morning. I’m so excited” ((We’re seeing each other today and it’s a big deal because we do distance))

Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Hopefully in medical school getting that double doctorate.I want to be a forensic pathologist and I’m stubborn enough to make it through all the school so I will.

If you could be anywhere else rn where would you be: Back at where I go for summer camp. It’s full of sunny, warm weather and all of my best friends. But I wish it had internet so I could bring all of my online friends with me.

Coolest Halloween costume? I made a Black Widow cosplay two years back and dyed my hair red and it looked so cool. I even made the belt and wrist guns (I did the original comic version and not the MCU version)

Favorite 90′s show: Ummmm, maybe Boy Meets World? Is that even a 90′s show?

Last kiss: My boyfriend. 

Ever been stood up? Yes

Favourite flavour of ice cream: cookie dough!

Ever been to Las Vegas: No, and I don’t really have the urge to. I live in a major city so most of the “night life” already exists for me and I don't drink. Ever.

Favourite pair of shoes: I have a pair of burgundy timberlands that are wedges and I love them to death. Super comfy, my favorite color, and heeled so I’m a little taller. But my many pairs of chucks are also loved. 

Favourite fruit: strawberries and apples

Stupidest thing I’ve ever done: Running up to my crush in the middle of the dining hall and saying “If you’re trying to make me not like you, it’s working” before flouncing away. It turns out he hadn’t gotten the confession note I sent him. I was mortified. 

Favourite book: All the books. I read so much, but I guess the Illuminae series is high on my list right now. Rick Riordan is also a go-to. And Adam Silvera. 

What Loser: Huh? I don’t know.....

I have no idea who to tag... maybe @a-nb-u and @sufferthesea ???

[artificialqueens]

turn my touches into neon light (Vanessa x Monique) - Ortega

a/n: i quite simply have no excuse for this, quarantine is clearly making mincemeat of my head and i just don’t give a shit about what i submit anymore, apparently? this is part of the n19f verse and is set in between chapters 16 and 17 but it can be read standalone, there’s nothing really essential to the plot here. the title’s from Bitches (Remix) by Tove Lo bc it was the catalyst to my bisexual awakening xo. anyway if u liked this pls let me know bc this genre is not my strong suit and i would love a crumb of Believing In Myself. (smut. it’s smut.)

summary: Vanessa’s still reeling from Brooke breaking things off with her and she’s not over her yet. Monique is willing to be everything she needs in the meantime.

***

The fairy lights strung up in Monique’s room are soft and warm, her heavy red curtains drawn and shutting all the light out, not as if there’s much light to be let in in the first place. The small black alarm clock on her wooden IKEA bedside table reads 21.24, and Vanessa only arrived a few moments ago from the library after getting a message from Monique saying she’d just bought some good wine that was on offer and she had nobody to drink it with. Vanessa suspects this is a white lie- even though Cracker is out on a date with that Kameron girl she’s seeing and Monet is obviously round at Nina’s (and Brooke’s, she reminds herself with a stab to her heart), Bob’s still in and she could quite easily have shared the wine with her. But then again, Vanessa thinks, biting back a smile, Monique doesn’t have the same relationship with her flatmate as she does with Vanessa.

“Two glasses! I should’ve just brought two straws, but we can at least pretend we’re classy,” Monique announces, almost booting the door off its hinges as she stumbles into her bedroom holding two wine glasses in one hand, a corkscrew in the other, and balancing a bottle of red very precariously in the crook of her elbow. Vanessa laughs, a little thrill running down her spine as Monique’s brilliant white smile gets flashed her way. Her hair’s orange today, a bouncy slick of wavy flames that Vanessa already can’t wait to tear her fingers through, and her eyelids are covered in glitter that’s making her brown eyes sparkle even more than they normally do.

Vanessa watches as Monique launches herself down on the bed beside her, giving scant regard for the glasses in her hand. She places them onto the duvet then begins driving the corkscrew into the top of the bottle.

“Oh shit, this bitch has a cork! We are so classy this evening,” Vanessa murmurs her approval, Monique smiling smugly beside her.

“Bitch, I told you it was good wine! You ain’t believe me or somethin’?” she narrows her eyes, Vanessa protesting with a laugh. Monique gives a little satisfied cry of delight as the cork pops out of the bottle. She snatches up one of the glasses and sloshes the crimson liquid into it, so thick and red that they may as well be drinking blood. Vanessa smiles shyly as Monique passes the glass to her, thanking her as she takes a small sip. This is nice. The wine, the curtains, the twinkling lights. It’s the nicest non-date that Vanessa’s been on in a while.

“See I might be a hoe, but I can be a lady when I want to be,” Monique shrugs lightly as she swirls her own wine around in its glass before taking a long drink. Vanessa lets out a derisive snort.

“You’re not a hoe, shut up.”

Monique fixes Vanessa with a look that makes her melt a little bit. “Bitch, if you don’t think I’m a hoe by now then I’m clearly not doing my job right.”

Vanessa feels herself blushing. It’s out of character for her. She’s so used to being the one with the upper hand, the confident one who knows she can make girls do anything she wants. That’s what she was with Brooke Lynn, anyway. But Monique has this intoxicating mystery to her that keeps Vanessa on her toes, and she’d be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy not being the one calling the shots all the time. Vanessa can’t help but flirt back a little. “Oh, so what is your job?"

"Making you forget about your bitch-ass ex girlfriend?” Monique gestures as if it’s obvious. Vanessa feels another small stab to her gut.

“She wasn’t a bitch, don’t be mean! She just…wanted something else,” she explains, sipping her wine again. She feels her heartbeat accelerate when Monique rests a hand on her thigh.

“Okay, how ‘bout I call her…weird? ‘Cuz if she didn’t want you then that’s weird behaviour,” Monique says matter-of-factly. Vanessa smiles bashfully. She likes being flattered like this, likes being told things she hasn’t heard in a while. Monique brings out a coy, demure side to Vanessa that very rarely gets seen. She is so used to being outspoken, loud, confident, on transmit constantly.

“You can call her weird, then,” Vanessa murmurs, her pitch low as Monique traces patterns across her skin. Vanessa is glad she wore the outfit she did to the library- short denim skirt, oversized red jumper tucked into the waistband of it. Briefly, it flashes through her mind to wonder what underwear she put on this morning. It’s not like her and Monique are together- far from it, they are the definition of friends with benefits- but if the girl’s going to make her come, the least she can do is look presentable for her.

“’M glad you came round,” Monique says quietly, leaning against her purple headboard. Her hair is a shock of orange against the violet fabric. The admission is too soft, hits too close to home. Vanessa doesn’t know if she likes it or if it breaks her heart a bit. It sounds too much like being wanted.

“You would’ve found someone else to sink this with. Bob’s in, isn’t she?” Vanessa argues, unable to accept the compliment.

Monique shrugs her disagreement, her fingers gentle against Vanessa’s skin. “She ain’t Vanessa, though.”

She feels something in her body fizz when she hears Monique say her name; the little lilt to her voice and the way she drags it out like it’s the most beautiful word in the world. Vanessa gives a small shiver as she feels a throb between her legs. She shoots Monique a little smirk. “Stop flirting, bitch.”

Monique shuffles closer, a satisfied look on her face that makes Vanessa feel like a fly caught in a web in the best way possible. “If a cute girl’s in my bed, I’m gonna flirt with her. Sorry. Just facts."

Vanessa wants to reach out and touch Monique, wants her hands all over her body like the other night. Monique’s very experienced, something else that renders Vanessa speechless whenever they sleep with each other. Tentatively, Vanessa replaces her wine glass on one of the bedside tables and rests her free hand on Monique’s hip. The black leggings she’s wearing don’t leave a huge amount to the imagination. Monique senses her hesitation and pouts at her mock-sympathetically. "You know you can touch if you want to, baby.”

Vanessa lets out a little sigh at the pet name, which in turn makes something flash in Monique’s eyes and she goes from stroking the outside of Vanessa’s thigh to the soft skin on the inside. Vanessa wordlessly spreads her legs, the heat between them almost unbearable, and she wonders how Monique can make her so desperate to be touched in so few words and tracings against her skin.

“You’re so easy, Jesus,” Monique teases, and Vanessa is aching to kiss the smirk off her face but loves the anticipation too much to burst the bubble yet.

“You love it,” she bites back quietly, snaking a hand underneath Monique’s cropped t shirt to stroke along her spine. She’s rewarded by Monique throwing one leg over the other, her eyes dark as she looks at her. Monique places her own glass on her bedside table, Vanessa giving a little laugh. “Shit, how long did that last? Five minutes?”

“Don’t pretend you didn’t know exactly why I wanted you round,” Monique retorts. Her hand strokes a little higher. Vanessa bucks her hips a little and Monique gives a little appreciative hum. “Damn. You’re so needy.”

“Be less needy if you weren’t such a tease,” Vanessa is ready with her comeback, Monique biting her lip and smiling as the frustration starts to show a little in Vanessa’s voice.

“I’m not teasin’, you’re just impatient,” Monique shrugs, Vanessa almost crying out in desperation as she pulls away. She’s rewarded when Monique grabs the hem of her top and pulls it over her head to reveal a red lace bralet that Vanessa hasn’t seen her wear before. The colour pops against her dark skin and Vanessa is torn between not taking her eyes off her in it or trying to tear it off her. Monique sees her reaction and replaces her hand between her legs, Vanessa giving a little sigh of anticipation as she speaks. “You like this?”

Vanessa simply nods, too scared that if she replies she’ll end up begging Monique to touch her, so she bites her lip instead. Monique gives a little smirk, takes her hand away again and quickly rips off her leggings to reveal matching red underwear, the top of which curves upwards to expose her hipbones and sits high near her waist. The whole thing makes Vanessa feel like she’s having a heart attack; she can feel her pulse racing. Unable to help herself, Vanessa reaches out, loops a finger under the elastic of the waistband and uses it to pull Monique in to kiss her. When their lips touch, Vanessa has to stop herself from letting out a moan. Monique kisses slowly and unrelentingly, completely ignoring Vanessa’s attempts to speed things up, and when she slides her tongue over Vanessa’s it reminds her of what it can do. Everything is hot and wet and languid and Vanessa can feel herself getting worked up. At this rate it’s not going to take a lot for Monique to make her come apart.

“Fuck, you’re so perfect,” Monique murmurs against her lips, and Vanessa whines like a brat as she tries to grind down against her fingers. Monique smiles smugly at the action, kissing her deeply. Vanessa runs a light hand up and down her back, letting her nails graze her skin slightly because she knows it drives Monique wild. As Monique hums her appreciation against her mouth, Vanessa can’t take it any longer and she throws a leg over Monique’s so that she’s straddling her. The sudden friction almost makes Vanessa’s eyes roll into the back of her head and judging by the expression on Monique’s face her reaction was well received. Vanessa bites back a whimper as Monique drops her lips down to her neck, kissing it slowly once and then a second time.

“You’re the most beautiful fuckin’ girl I’ve ever met, oh my God. I wish you could see yourself right now,” Monique whispers into her ear. Vanessa moans, can feel how wet she is through the fabric of her underwear against Monique’s bare skin, and she blushes as she realises she’s not going to last much longer if Monique keeps talking to her like this. As if she reads her mind, Monique keeps whispering. “I was so gutted when we met at that party because you were seeing that girl, and all I wanted to do was to get you into my room and make you beg for it…you were wearin’ that black satin body and I couldn’t stop thinkin’ about you for days…”

Vanessa tilts her head to meet Monique’s lips, brings her jaw up to kiss her messily. As if to fulfil the fantasy Monique’s just told her about, Vanessa breaks away and whispers frantically. “Please, babygirl, please, please, please.”

“What do you want, princess?”

Vanessa is close and the pet name isn’t helping. She lets out a gasp as she bucks her hips, realises Monique’s touching herself with her free hand while the other is ripping out the hem of Vanessa’s sweater where it’s tucked into the waistband of her skirt. “Keep talking, fuck.”

“You want me to tell you how pretty you look, baby? You want me to tell you how fuckin’ pretty you look gettin’ yourself off against my thigh like a desperate lil’ brat?” Monique taunts her, Vanessa giving a squeal as Monique dips her fingers under the cup of her bra and brushes her fingers against one of her nipples. “You’ve not even taken your clothes off and you’re this wound up, fuck, you’re so wet and I’ve not touched you…”

Vanessa’s senses are in overload. Her hair is all in her face, Monique’s still teasing her nipples, and she can feel herself slick against Monique’s skin as she grinds against her thigh. Her clit is throbbing so much she feels like she’s going to explode. “M'nique, I’m gonna…fuck…”

“Go, baby. Do it,” Monique whispers. Her voice is low and sinful and she’s barely whispered her permission before Vanessa is crying out embarrassingly loudly, completely unable to control herself but not able to bring herself to care as she gives another, slightly quieter cry then a tiny squeal as she feels herself shudder, coming down from the high. She’s blushing as she kisses Monique, the other girl smiling against her lips, and Vanessa realises she’s still touching herself. She leans back and smiles, gasping a little and trying to collect herself.

“Shit,” is the first thought she can verbalise, causing Monique to laugh out loud. “That escalated fast.”

Monique nods, smiling guiltily. Vanessa looks at her spread out on the bed; hand down her pants, chest rising and falling quickly, hair spread out against the pillow, and the sheen Vanessa left against her thigh. The sight is enough to make Vanessa run her tongue over her lips slightly.

“You still want me, baby?” she murmurs quietly, Monique pouting and nodding again, a little needy sigh escaping her full lips. Vanessa tugs her sweater over her head, pulls her skirt over her ankles and tosses it onto the floor. She sits up and pats her lap gently. “C'mere."

Monique obediently crawls over to her, sits on her lap and kisses her as Vanessa threads her hands through her long, orange hair.

It’s nice to feel wanted.

[welcome-to-panic-station]

@icantgetitright-sinceimetyou​ tagged me a few weeks ago but since i’m almost never on my computer and also i’m abysmal at completing tasks, it took me until now to do this. thank you for tagging me!! i love being included in things!!

1. Rules: Answer the questions and tag 20 blogs you would like to get to know better.

A - Age: i don’t know about you but... (22)

B - Birthplace: bay area C - Current Time: 22:07

D - Drink You Last Had: trader joe’s hard cider E - Easiest Person To Talk To: depends what i’m talking about, but my drift-compatible former roommates laine and marb let me ramble at them about all my interests F - Favourite Song: i definitely don’t have just one but people do associate mr brightside with me and i’m never not jazzed to hear it G - Grossest Memory: not sure, so i’m taking this question as an excuse to tell you that when i was a child i dropped a dolphin cerebellum on my sweater because i didn’t know it was not attached to the cerebrum. the formaldehyde smell really... lingers H - Horror Yes or Horror No: B horror only, or horror comedy. i’m talking grabbers, sharknado, evil dead, etc I - In Love: probably not capable of that but it sure is a concept! J - Jealous of People: more than i’d care to admit, but i keep it in check K - Killed Someone: nice try, nsa L - Love At First Sight Or Should I Walk By Again: lust maybe M - Middle Name: lee, which i might use as my first name in the future since it’s less obviously feminine and i like to be hired N - Number of Siblings: nothing but cats O - One Wish: no more fascism, which i really think shouldn’t be too much to ask but here we are P - Person You Called Last: my “twin” nicole (a close friend from nerd camp) Q - Question You Are Always Asked: “is that [necklace] a tattoo?” (it isn’t) R - Reason to Smile: my cat, whom i love and cherish T - Time You Woke Up: 7:15 today U - Underwear Colour: cobalt blue V - Vacation Destination: i’d like to go back to scotland, but my parents are on a switzerland trip and the photos they keep sending me look pretty cool there too W - Worst Habit: dermatillomania, if that counts as a “habit” X - X-rays: i’m unclear on the question but i’ve had x rays taken before (of the foot that did not have glass embedded in it, because the doctor had a troubling misunderstanding of left/right) Y - Your favourite food: today it’s dark chocolate peanut butter cups but tomorrow it’ll probably be pesto tortellini Z - Zodiac Sign: libra

***

2. Rules: answer 20 questions and tag 20 people

Nickname: ellenm, ellie, ellen page, thunderwhore (i only know how to play smash as pikachu and i’m extremely annoying when i do), elle belle (only my mom calls me this)

Zodiac: libra

Height: 5′7″ or 170 cm

last thing i googled: “5 feet 7 inches in cm” 

Favorite music artist: well uhhhhhhhh i’m gonna have to go with muse

Song stuck in my head: learn to let go / kesha

Last movie i saw: grabbers, which is also my favorite movie, and i made some friends watch it

What am i wearing right now?: maroon tank top, beige bra, blue panties, and some salsa i dripped onto my leg

Why did a chose my URL?: i mean... you’ve seen the masterpiece that is panic station right

Do you have any other blogs?: my main is hyacinth-willow, and my aesthetic sideblog is witchofthewest-coast 

What did your last relationship teach you?: if you stay in a relationship because you think it’s the best you can do, you’re better off single whether you can do better or not (and you most likely can do better)

Religious or spiritual: free-form witch, so spiritual i guess

Favorite color: pastel mint-turquoise, or deep red

Average hours of sleep: seven ish? i’m trying to shift the whole thing earlier though 

Lucky number: thirteen

Favourite characters: when i was much younger i felt that annabeth chase (percy jackson books) was me put onto paper; i also love nyneave, elayne, and egwene (wheel of time, which i’m currently reading), holly belladonna (my d&d character), mustang and victra (red rising books), finn, rey, and poe (star wars vii), inej and nina (six of crows), blue (raven boys), scully and mulder (x files), ephraim and alex (dissent webcomic)

How many blankets do you sleep with: one in the summer, as many as possible in the winter

Dream job: virologist, which i already am, but with a phd and working in a bsl-4 in a place that’s not an hour from the closest target and chipotle

i figure anyone following me is already seen this make the rounds or been tagged but if you haven’t, then i’m tagging you specifically (if you want)

[happyprinceling]

hello my dearest nina 💗 i know you said i don’t have to apologize, but i still feel sorry for responding so late. and don’t worry, i definitely feel better now, panic attacks just suck though :( and wow wow wow !!! im so proud of you for finishing your first draft!! 🎊 that’s so amazing, im so happy for you! 💗 and honestly, ive never written a sex scene before and im not sure i ever will. i feel like i just couldn’t get it right? it’s something so intimate and i feel like my writing (1)

couldn’t do that justice… but i have some positive news as well! it’s not as much as you wrote, but i finally finished the next chapter for my wip! i still need to go over it but it feels good to have something finished (even if it’s just a chapter!) anyway, how are you doing? i hope u had a great day 🥀 lots of love! (2)             

Oh, i love that greeting 💌

Well, know that I’m not upset about you taking your time to reply ❤️ I’m glad you feel better, and i’m glad you have things to do and words to say and thoughts to have 🐛Thank you so much! It feels wrong not to write on it, unreal, so I’m counting on Felix to make me write some more. And I don’t wanna write sex scenes again, yeah, it’s truly… yeah, I don’t think I write them well. And if what needs to be said or felt during sex scenes can be told otherwise i won’t have to (except that I sometimes feel the stupid pressure to write them bc i think otherwise ppl don’t wanna read them. Which is a shame). Yee. (I would love to know, though, if anyone reading this has read the fic i posted and can tell me if that sex was trash. anyway.)

Oh, you finished a chapter!!! That’s absolutely wonderful omg!! Please, I only got to write so much bc i had nothing else do to and emotions to supress and stress to avoid! I’m happy you’re writing and experiencing life!

I’m… doing. Is what I am. I’m drinking Bailey’s on ice and reading The Little Friend by Donna Tartt, and decidedly not thinking about things I need to process. I’ve also finally ate my mango salad today, that was magnificent. Truly. Uhm, yep! That’s that! How was your day? You know, I still haven’t quite understood on what kinda holiday you are 🕊️

[beccabrodtman-blog]

RuPaul: What’s your greatest strength – charisma, uniqueness, nerve or talent? -charisma and uniqueness 
Sharon Needles: Do you like scary movies, Sidney? What’s your favourite? -I couldn't say....dawn of the dead perhaps 
Chad Michaels: Is there someone you can impersonate to perfection? -Brittany Murphy 
Untucked: What’s the shadiest thing you’ve ever said? -hmmmm I typically don't 
Available On iTunes!: The first five songs that come into your head. -"If I Only Had A Brain", I Wanna Dance With Somebody", "Panic Switch", "Purse First" and "DreamLover" 
Michelle Visage: Are you a tough critic or a sweet little pussycat? -I am a bit of both, a little unpredictable... 
Bianca Del Rio: Stone, gold, glass… What’s your heart made of? -glass 
Bob The Drag Queen: Tell us a joke, funny girl! -nah I'm good 
Santino Rice: Describe the strangest outfit you’ve ever worn, Amadeus.
- the outfit I wore when I played Mrs.Peterson in Bye Bye Birdie Guest Judges: Name three people, alive or dead, whose opinions really matter to you -My Daddio, My Brothers and My Mother. 
All-Stars: Ever had a brush with fame?
Absolut Vodka: Favourite drink? - Before I got sober Limarita's were my drink of choice. 8% alcohol per volume does the trick. 
Bebe Zahara Benet: Do you represent your hometown or not? - I don't think my hometown would appreciate me representing them but my behavior was that of the typical LongIsland dirtbag. 
Raja: Did you roll with the cool kids at school? Or, if you weren’t a Heather, Heather, what clique did you fit with, Heather? - I was never the cool kid, I was the artsy drama nerd who hung out with the potheads even though I wasn't into the whole drug scene at that point. 
Willam: A choice of questions – either tell us about a time you were thrown out of somewhere, or tell us about the sickest you’ve ever felt… -hmm I've never been thrown out of a place but the sickest I've ever felt was when my Father was sick and dying. 
Jinkx Monsoon: Trouble sleeping? Or trouble staying awake? - I have a problem falling asleep but I also live my life being constantly exhausted. Mimi Imfurst: How far would you go to grab people’s attention?
- I don't really want anyone's attention, it makes me uncomfortable. Drag U: Condragulations! You’ve won a fabulous free makeover! What sickening style icon will it be based on? - I love looking like nobody else...maybe I'd take pieces from Adore Delano, Brittany Murphy, Kylie Jenner(forgive me father) and Alaska Thunderfuck. 
Max: What colour is your hair today, and what’s your favourite colour it’s ever been? - I really like the way my hair is now,my brown roots that fade to blondish pink at the ends...this was the result of my bright purple hair I dyed back in September. So no I was not jumping on the bandwagon, I've been doing this for over 15 years cause I'm old haha 
Alyssa + Coco: Can you hold a grudge? (Extra points if you tell us all about it) -I don't hold grudges, I don't need the hate. 
Tyra Sanchez: Give us an unpopular opinion.
- I would have voted for trump over that soulless woman...but to be honest they both suck. Katya: If you could live in any country in all the world, where would you go? -Tokyo or Ireland. 
Ongina: Would you ever shave your head? (If you already have, we want pics!) - You couldn't pay me enough to shave my head. 
PhiPhi O’Hara: Is it better to be loved or feared? - I guess it's better to be loved but it feels pretty powerful to be feared or intimidating. 
Latrice Royale: Tell us about a time you picked yourself up after a fall (and know that we’re so proud of you, hon!) -After 10 years of shooting up Heroin, drinking Alcohol and smoking Pot, I couldn't keep living life that way so I put myself in rehab and I couldn't be happier. Tomorrow is my 2 Month Ani. 
Shangela: If at first you don’t succeed… Is there something in life where you keep on try-trying-again?
- I tried getting sober back in May, Mothers Day was my original sober date but I was kicked out of my Outpatient because I had Pot in my system. I had stayed clean off of Heroin till September when I had run out of my suboxone. Drugs suck the life out of you, I hate how people on here glorify drugs that kill people on a daily basis. Heroin is not chic. Don't do it. Nina Flowers: Does your look match your personality? - I'd say so. 
Violet Chachki: What’s your favourite physical feature?
- My eyes or my hair, there's not much about me that I like. Self loathing is kinda my thing I guess. Naomi Smalls: Take the first name of one of your personal idols, and the last name from another. This makes the name of your brand new persona – now tell us all about your gorgeous self! -RuLennon 
Jiggly Caliente: May I call you Jiggly? -If you're trying to offend me then you've succeeded.