#NOT looking for sympathy fyi - just hoping someone who needs it sees it

[totally-not-deacon]

[tw: parental death, terminal illness under the cut]

Don't like, worry, or whatever y'all. This is more just me musing and warning to others than anything, just happens to be a sadder one. I'm good in this department nowadays FYI, so please don't worry or anything, but as you can guess you don't really stop missing people.

Pretty sure this was all brought on by simply finding a funny video/meme I think she'd have liked.

It's hard to believe my mom's been gone for almost 2 years now. Like, I had acted as her primary caregiver since 2017 until '21, so it's not like I didn't know what was going to happen. But I still think you can only prepare yourself so much, I guess.

IDK, it's just her birthday wasn't too long ago, and I've had a lot of spare time to sit and ruminate lately.

Seriously guys, whoever's reading this and needs to see it: Don't. Don't fucking smoke. For the love of fucking GOD and every single one of your loved ones, do NOT smoke. You have no idea what you could be putting your family through, let alone YOURSELF once you start losing yourself to full-on COPD.

And I don't say that figuratively. It's not just wheezing, or shortness of breath. It's not that whole "emphysema is like breathing thru a straw" thing. It's not just Asthma But More. The chronic hypoxemia and WILL cause brain damage - you will start to lose your memory, you WILL slowly lose yourself, and so will anyone else that cares for you. And yet, you'll stay completely aware of what's happening well after it's too late to turn around.

I watched her die for years. I was holding her fucking hand when she took her last god damned, struggling breath. I can't think of a worse way to do die.

You'll stop caring about anything other than surviving. And the sad part? You will NOT survive. COPD is terminal, no if ands or buts. And if you're banking on it? Goooood fucking luck trying to get approved for a lung transplant as a smoker, cause you're gonna need it.

I don't even WANT to get into the details - but let's just say it takes a good amount of therapy to even be able to deal with it firsthand.

Like, I know this probably won't change any minds, gods know it didn't get me to kick the habit until she'd passed. I get it, it's how addiction works. It's not some "well just quit then" bullshit. And I'll be real with you - you'll probably still have occasional cravings for years afterward. But just maybe I can be that last straw for someone out there who actually wants to try.

Because fuck man, it's worth it. If not for you, your loved ones. It's so fucking worth it. Even if you don't give a shit about yourself, think about those you care for. Please.

Anywho, there's my oddly personal, likely wine-fueled, bit of advice/ramble.

[iwantitiwriteit]

Slow Burn: Book I - Part 7

The Lunch - Small Thank You’s

Pairing: Chris Evans x Famous!Reader

Summary: You and Chris get to know each other better over a flirty friendly lunch.

Warnings: Fluff, spinkle of Angst, Profanity, phonetic spelling of words said in a Boston accent because I needed a laugh

Notes: Hey loves! Hope you all are well! It’s been a while— praying I didn’t forget how to write too bad and y’all enjoy this installment lol. Little FYI: I’m basing the reader’s music off of that of Banks and SZA. Before you dive in, set the mood with the moodboard + music specially curated to go with this part! Read the previous part here.

The GPS said the drive from the museum to the restaurant would be… well, you were distracted from that bit of information. Not that it would matter. Chris keeps making turns against the suggested route, citing that this was “his city” and that he’s a “real Boston boy”.

What you do know is that the talking and laughing with Chris made the car ride seem all too short. Pointing out familiar streets and landmarks, he lit up telling you his childhood stories laced within the city. Pardon, his city. The glint in his eyes and excitement in his voice sent tiny sparks up your spine, but you did your best to ignore it.

Chris tried to guess where you had the two of you going for lunch. You, however, wouldn’t give in to his guesses. Eventually, you arrive at a market of sorts, a culture clash of small businesses and patrons. It’s in an area Chris is familiar with, but he never thought much of coming to.

“I thought we were going to a restaurant?” Chris inquires, not seeing a food establishment from his spot in the driver’s seat.

You puff out your jaw, squint your eyes, and proceed with your best ‘Godfather’-like impersonation as you tell Chris,“I thought you would’ve learned to stop asking me questions by now, hm.”

“That... was horrible.” Chris’ deadpan causes you to giggle in response.

“I know! Now c’mon; I’m starved!” You draw out as you reach to let yourself out of the car.

“Woah, woah, hold on,” Chris stops you with a gentle hand on your arm. You questioningly look over your shoulder at him. He unbuckles his seatbelt and gets out of the car. Settling back into your seat with a huff of delighted shock, you realize what he’s doing.

Chris jogs to your door, the returning drizzle giving him a sense of urgency. He opens the door for you then offers his upturned, open hand for you to choose to take. You hesitate for a millisecond before obliging, delicately placing your smaller hand in his large palm.

You’re unsure of the last time anyone was this... chivalrous to you. Trying not to dwell on it too long, you give him a soft-spoken ‘thank you’. Chris responds with an equally soft ‘of course’. You both find it difficult to meet each other's eyes, missing the shy smile the other is sporting.

“Lead the way,” Chris gently prompts with a hand extended in the market's direction.

Mildly busy, the market is livened by business people, college students, housewives and househusbands alike. Store fronts of small businesses ranging from sustainable fashion to high-end housewares line the long cobble stone path, accented by fairy lights for added whimsy. Chris curiously takes in the sights from beneath a low baseball cap and hoodie. He’s sure to not let his eyes linger too long for fear of locking with anyone.

Meanwhile, you’re walking with purpose, leaving a distracted Chris behind. He catches up when he notices you turn a corner in his periphery. When he follows the path you took, he finds you by a green, white, and red beaded archway.

You pause and look up at Chris, a playful grin on your lips that makes his heart skip a beat. He’s looking down at you, brows raised with utter anticipation. You think this might be your favorite expression on him. You pull back and step through the beaded entrance, Chris following suit closely behind you.

“Woah…” It was almost as if that small act of stepping over the threshold transported you both to Sicily. The faint notes of Italian standards play in the background as Chris gawks at the charming restaurant.

The mostly occupied dining area is quaint, housing about 10 tables max, including a couple of booths. The walls are decorated with floor-to-ceiling built-in shelves of libations from Italy. The alcohol display is interrupted by creeping vert vines that add that little bit of spice to the space.

As a waiter walked by, Chris breathed in deeply, the warm aroma of marinara sauce, freshly baked bread and Italian spices filled his nose and lungs.

“How’d you manage to find the one Italian restaurant in the greater Boston area I’ve never been to, much less heard of?”

“Hmmm… must not be as much of a Boston boy as you think,” you say with a wink, and Chris scoffs through his lopsided smirk.

“There she is!” a bellowing voice familiar to you draws yours and Chris’ attention away from each other. Chris looks on as the short, husky man pulls you in for a cheek-to-cheek kiss. “It’s been too long! Mi sei mancata la faccia!”

“Charlie, you know I have no idea what you’re saying, but I like the way you say it!” You share a laugh with your Uber driver-turned-friend. “And what do you mean ‘it’s been too long’! I was just here last week.”

“5 days ago to be exact. 5 days since you, ya castmates… most importantly ya directah,” Charlie stresses lustfully in his strong Boston accent, “have swarmed Ma’s restaurant. Whassup with that, huh?”

“The real question here is what’s up with your crush on Sonya, huh?” you tease him. Charlie’s smitteness with your director has not gone unnoticed.You can practically see the hearts forming in his eyes at this moment.

“I doan know what ya tawkin about.”

“Uh-huh, sure.”

“Enough abowut it! Let’s get ya seated and you can tell me who’s ya new friend,” Charlie says, motioning to Chris.

When you’re seated in a corner booth by a rainy window, you introduce the two men.“ This is Chris, my, uh…um…” You hadn’t really thought about what to call your relationship with Chris. It’s been… rocky up until this point, and while you’ve been friendly, you’re certainly not friends. Not yet, at least.

Chris notices and understands your hesitance, a small part of him hoping it’s because you don’t want to friend-zone him. “It’s alright, don’t worry your pretty, little head about it,” he teases you, earning him an eye roll. “We’re… acquaintances, right?”

“Right! Acquaintances… I guess?” It didn’t feel right, a little too impersonal, but you’ll roll with it for now.

“‘Acquaintances’?” Charlie sizes Chris up, a comical sight considering the dramatically different statues of the two men. He tilts his head and squints at Chris’ face, his expression melting from intimidation to inquisition. Chris tenses, knowing the look he’s being given all to well. “Been here before, Chris? You look mighty familiah…”

“Umm… no... I don’t… don’t believe so,” Chris answers almost timidly. The avoidant gaze into the plastic covered menu, the heated cheeks that shone the same color as a tomato— you know that look all too well. You decide to do what you hoped someone would do for you.

“He’s just got one of those faces! But um, I’m ready to order if you are?” you try to deflect. Charlie doesn’t think much of it and takes down your meal decisions, but that small act means the world to Chris. He mouths ‘thank you’ from across the booth, and you smile and tip your head in a slight nod, sure he would’ve done the same for you.

You order your usual, spaghetti with vegan meatballs, and a glass of the house white wine. Chris has what you’re having except he’s ordered a “tonic”, which you learned the hard way the other night is Bostonian for soda. Charlie is back promptly with your drinks and breadsticks and ensures that your food will arrive shortly with a small smirk on his face that you don’t think too much of.

It’s quiet at your table for quite some time. Both you and Chris take small sips from your glasses, nibble at the garlic-y bread, look out the window and around the restaurant. As you do so, you run through a list of conversation starters in your head but you’ve deemed them all too dumb, too boring or too invasive. Why the hell do I care so much? You glance up at Chris and wonder if he’s going through the same irrational inner turmoil you are. Maybe he’s not, or maybe he’s overcome his when he finally breaks the silence.

“So, um… how long have you been a vegan?”

“Um… how long have we been shooting this movie? My character— she’s very, uh… power to the people— and plants,” You chuckle out. “Figured it wouldn’t hurt to give it a try myself. Go a little method,” you say with a shrug.

Chris waves his breadstick at you as he asks, “You believe in all that method stuff?”

“I don’t know… I’m really new to this whole acting thing, but I guess I just like the idea of really connecting with this character in every way I can. She reminds me so much of myself at that age.”

“How so?” Chris presses on.

“She’s… sure. She’s sure of herself… of her judgements and decisions. She’s sure of her hand in her own success. And that breeds this really un-fuck-with-able confidence in her that if I had an ounce of, it’d be over for you hoes,” you end with a slow nod and look off into the distance.

Chris laughs at your dramatics, but it dawns on him what you’ve shared. “Wait… you’re telling me that’s not you now? I mean, I know I’ve only known you a short time, but you seem pretty un-fuck-with-ably confident to me.”

“Ha! Guess I’m a better actress than I thought,” you mutter. Chris knows it’s meant to be a joke, but watching as you fiddled with the rings on your finger, his chest tightened. A look of sympathy must’ve shown on his face, because you start to wish you hadn’t said anything at all. Did I just overshare? God, I thought I outgrew that.

To save you from your minor embarrassment is Charlie with the same smirk from earlier. He gently places the order in the center of your table, and you finally understand what his face was trying to give away earlier.

“We’re, uh… runnin’ low on plates...” is Charlie’s half-baked explanation. “Buon appetito!” he offers before hastily leaving.

Sat between you and Chris was the meal you ordered, yes, but on the single largest plate you think you’ve ever seen. One plate of spaghetti for two people— two practical strangers— to share. The embarrassment just won’t stop, will it?

Elbow perched on the table, your hand acts as a visor of sorts on your forehead as you massage away the headache forming at your temple. You can’t see Chris, just hear him chuckling and breathing out an “oh man…” under his breath. His fork comes into view as he twirls the pasta onto it. You peek under your hand up at him.

“What? Not gonna just look at it!” Chris insists. “Now, let’s see what this vegan meatball is about… DAMN! That tastes legit!” You giggled at his enthusiasm and felt your tension melt away.

You began to dig in as well. It was fine, normal even, for a few moments. You could almost forget you’re sharing one big ass plate of pasta with one of Hollywood’s most sought after stars at a hole-in-the-wall Italian restaurant. Yep, very normal. As long as I keep from oversharing the rest of this afternoon, everything should be fine… you thought to yourself.

“Tell me… how are you liking Boston?” Chris asks.

“It’s fine.”

“‘Fine’?! Just fine.”

“It’s great Chris, no need to get your panties in a twist. But, ya know… It’s just not…”

“Home? Yeah, I get that. Where’s home for you?”

“Um… well I guess home has never been a single place for me. It’s with people I love, as cheesy as that sounds. Home is where my heart is…” you trail off as you remember you shouldn’t share too much.

“And your heart is with family, friends… a boyfriend…?” Chris slips in.

“What is this? 20 questions?” You quip as you sip on your white wine.

“Maybe... if you want. You can ask me something.”

“Hmm… Ok…” You ponder over what to ask him as you twirl your pasta around your fork. “What is… mm no. How about… nah, wait.” Chris huffs impatiently as he awaits your first question. “Ok! I got it!”

“Alright, lay it on me.” Your breath hitches at his word choice and you hope doesn’t notice. Why’d he have to say it like that?! You clear your throat and ask your question.

“What’s your favorite song of mine?”

“Really? That’s your question? So conceited…”

You giggle before explaining, “Well, I only ask ‘cos a little Scottie told me he saw you, and I quote, ‘full on rocking out’ to one of my songs. I’m just curious which one it was.” You sip on your straw and peer up at Chris, watching for his reaction.

Chris groans, covering his face while sinking down the booth seat. You can’t hear too much of what he's saying behind his hands and over your laughter, but it sounds like he’s cursing Scott’s name. When he finally restores some gumption, he places his hands on his napkin, eyes fixated on his fingertips picking at the dampened corners. Teeth sunk into your bottom lip, you try your best to bite back your amusement to not further Chris’s obvious embarrassment.

“Ok…” Chris sighs out, “ I’ll admit it! I’m man enough to own up to it,” he shrugs. “Yes, I was ‘full on rocking out’ to your music. You’re amazing at what you do.”

Your face heats up, not expecting the compliment. You don’t know what to say. It’s not like you’ve never heard it before. In fact you’ve heard it a lot the past couple of years, you’d thought you’d become numb to it. Yet, for some reason, sitting across from Chris, his eyes looking tenderly into yours, the compliment you’ve heard a million times before just… hits different. “Thank you.”

“Of course.”

You clear your throat and break eye contact with Chris. “You still haven’t answered my question, though...”

“Right! Hold on…” Chris says as he fishes his phone from his front pocket. He scrolls through his music app to find the playlist he’s made of his favorite songs of yours. Your cheeks burn even more intensely as you watch. “‘Gemini Feed’ is my favorite to dance to; hands down! But I also really love ‘Drew Barrymore’; it’s fun… but sad, ya know? What am I saying; of course you know; it’s your song!”

You giggle in somewhat disbelief of watching Chris motherfucking Evans geek out over your songs!

“Well… this is a rare opportunity I have, to talk to the artist herself, that is. So, I have to ask, how did that song come about? From personal experience, I suppose?”

“Yeah… um, gosh. You want the full or abridged version of the story?”

“Full! Are you kidding me?!”

“Ok, ok! Well, it was right before my album was set to come out, and my boyfriend-at-the-time dumped me,” you laugh lightly at the now-funny memory. “After weeks of heated arguments and projecting his career insecurities on to me, he picked his final fight with me about how I was “acting too famous for him” and just ended things.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah... It completely caught me off guard. I couldn’t think straight in the studio that day, so I ended the session earlier and went to a party, per my best friend-slash-manager’s coercion. She’s a bad influence.”

“I like her style! Did the party help?” Chris asked.

“Well, it was on the higher-end of house parties, and I just wasn’t used to being around such an expensive lifestyle yet. But guess who was there because why wouldn’t he be?,” you exhale and roll your eyes as you reminisce.

Chris leaned in with intrigue. “The Ex?”

“Mm-hm. In my standard walk-in-the-party-scan of the room, I spot him. I should've known because that party was very much his scene, but what I wouldn't have guessed is that he'd be there with some other woman.”

“What?!”

You nod your head as you proceed to spill the tea to Chris. “This dude is there with another woman, after being out of a relationship for all of 8 hours. I think the worst part is that she looked nothing like me. Like, imagine the complete opposite of me to the hottest power, that was who was hanging all over that idiot.”

“He is a total idiot for letting you go.” You don’t know what to say to Chris’ statement and quite honestly forgot where you were, what you were talking about… “What happened next?”

“Right! We locked eyes for a moment and there wasn’t anything from him. No emotion at all. Like, he didn’t care that our relationship just ended. But then I had the thought that maybe we’d been over for a while and I had just been too distracted to realize and accept the party was over.”

“Jimi peeped what was up and got me out of there. I hoped that we could go home so that I could cry on her shoulder all night. Instead, she dragged me to a real house party. I so badly wanted to pity myself, but the energy there was too infectious to not enjoy; it felt like a 90s movie!”

“The next day, I went through my crazy ass camera roll, and I couldn’t help but... smile… and laugh! Then I thought about him, and how stupid he made me feel, and I don’t know… I kinda put all these weird, conflicting emotions into this one song, and felt better afterwards. Like I was turning a page.”

Chris didn’t immediately say anything, taking in the very personal story you shared. The somewhat unfortunate event that fueled his favorite lyrics. He looked at you carefully and quietly. However kind he looked in this moment, it didn't matter much to the creeping thoughts in your mind.

The silence made you self-conscious. You took inventory of your physical, how your face was hot, how your chest felt tight. Your left hand had somehow migrated into Chris’ right hand in the middle of the table. “I, uh— my bad…” you start as you take back your hand.

Chris quickly grabs your hand before it gets too far. “Thank you for sharing that story with me... and your music with the world. Your confidence in your vulnerability is really fucking inspiring. Thank you. Seriously, thank you,” he gives your hand a gentle squeeze for emphasis. He’s looking at you with a boyish smile and tilted head that makes you break down and smile at him, too.

“Thank you,” you return, just barely above a whisper.

——————————————————————————

You and Chris spent the rest of your time at L'amore Della Madre exchanging stories of love lost and life wins, sharing loud laughs and silent signs of admiration. To anyone on the outside looking in, it may have seemed like two had known each other longer than you actually have.

“I gotta say, I don’t like this,” Charlie whispers to you. He pulled you aside for a moment to say your goodbyes, while Chris waited for you outside. “Mostly becahse it was supposed to be my jahb to set you up with a nice Italian boy, but you’ve brought your own,” he says with a smirk.

“Oh, no! It’s not like that! Chris and I aren’t— wait… how’d you know he’s part Italian?“

“I have my sources… which may be the wait staff who are big fans of the guy. Here this is from them,” Charlie hands you a to-go box.”It’s tiramisu… for two,” he winks.

“Oh my god! I told you, we--”

“Will thank me at your wedding!” Charlie says as he waves you out of the door to the sidewalk where Chris is waiting.

“Wedding? Who’s getting married?” Chris asks.

You let out a sigh and shake your head. “Nobody. Want dessert?”

You and Chris small talk and walk and eat tiramisu on your way to the car. It was nice. It was normal. It felt… real. You didn’t realize how much you needed and missed small, yet meaningful moments like this until right now.

The pair of you stop in front of a pet shop window and watch the puppies play together for a moment. You pointed out a pair of snuggled up puppies to Chris. “Hey, they kinda look like us!”

Chris chuckles when he looks, “They do!” A chocolate brown puppy and a tannish-white one lie peacefully in one another’s presence without a care for the world on the other side of the glass. The tannish-white one starts to lick and nudge at the chocolate brown one, eliciting what you made out to be a sleepy smile from the brown pup. You don’t know why, but witnessing such intimacy causes you and Chris to straighten, fidgeting and giggling nervously.

“I had fun today.”

“As did I. You’re better company than I thought you’d be,” you joke.

“Uh… thanks?” He answers reluctantly, causing you to giggle. “Maybe we could… hang out again sometime…?”

“Maybe we could.”

“Cool.”

“Cool.” There’s a beat of silence as you and Chris hold each other’s gaze. “So… you wanna take my number down?” you prompt him.

“Right! Right. Yeah, I should probably do that…” Chris stammers as he pulls out his phone. You take it from him, replacing it with your phone. You put in your number along with taking a silly picture for your contact, and he does the same.

Chris laughs at your shared child-like humor, and you revel in the moment. It was nice. It was normal. It was the first time you’d felt unmistakably connected with someone without feeling anxious of their motives or what the world thought of it in a very long time.

Time moved slowly when you were with Chris, it seemed to good to real life. But just like that, a flash snaps you and Chris out of your daze and back to reality.

You both look in the direction of the camera flash to find a young woman trying to pretend she didn’t just take a picture of the two of you. Chris turns back to you but doesn’t meet your eyes. Instead his head is hung low as he says “I really… hate that shit.”

“Preaching to the choir.” Chris looks up to your face, your gaze steady in the general direction of the perpetrator. “Makes me feel like an animal in a cage.” You say.

This is why Chris doesn’t mind celebrity companionship. You get it. You understand this strange aspect of his life that not many other people truly do. You also get the value of normalcy and privacy… and leaving when the party’s over.

“Let’s get out of here.” You say coldly and walk in the direction of the car.

Chris was baffled, to say the least. This was usually the part where you talk about how “fans” will cross invisible boundaries just because they know your face and name. However, you seemed uninterested in trauma bonding.

You were already buckled in when Chris caught up to you in the car. The energy the entire drive to your sister’s brownstone was… off. Nothing like it was earlier in the day. A simple flash changed your mood, and Chris was aching for it to go back to before. But no joke, or crank of the radio volume seemed to work.

When Chris pulls up to the curb, you immediately hop out, mumbling a final thank you to him.

“Hey,” Chris grabs your wrist gently, halting you, “You get kinda used to it. Ya know... after a while,” he says hoping you’d find comfort in his words.

You look down at where his hand was wrapped around your wrist. “Yeah… that’s what I'm afraid of... but thanks anyway.” Taking back your wrist from Chris, you turn to walk to the front door.

Chris is calling after you. He doesn't want to be emotionally intrusive, but he hopes you'll give him a chance to understand you. Help you. Comfort you. If only she'd turn around. You can't bear to look back at Chris. It will only remind you of everything good today, and why you can't have it.

Part 8 coming soon! What’d you think?

[hockeylvr59]

Life Changes Part 7 || Paul Bissonnette

Summary: It’s crazy how quickly your life can change...one minute you’re a struggling personal injury lawyer and the next you’re working for one of the hottest sports podcasts to supplement your income. A new job and the end of a long-term relationship was just the beginning for Leigh Thompson when it comes to life changes. Thankfully she has the one and only Paul Bissonnette at her side to help her handle them all. 

Authors Note: I’ve been sitting on this for about a month because I was going to finish writing the entire day in one chapter but I really think this can stand alone and has a different tone to it than the rest so I’m just gonna post the finished portion as is. I’d love love love thoughts on it. Again, please feel free to send me any songs that you think I should add to the series playlist. 

Requested: [ ] yes [x] no || Warnings: cursing, anxiety || Word Count: 2,634

~~~

“When things change inside you, things change around you.” 

A large booming laugh sounded from the next room an hour or so after I’d dozed back off to sleep, waking me immediately. I knew that laugh by heart and cursed myself when butterflies erupted in my stomach at the sound of it. Turning my alarm off, I slipped out of bed, once again reminding myself that it was just the hormones causing all of these crazy feelings and that they weren’t real. Pushing myself to my feet, I felt the butterflies start again, stronger this time, and tears instantly pricked at my eyes. My hand flew to my bump rubbing gently as I stood frozen in place, my mind processing what I’d just felt. That wasn’t some crazy hormonal feeling, that was my baby moving inside of me, a sensation that I’d been waiting weeks to feel. 

The sensation was gone as quickly as it had started until another laugh sounded from the living room. Walking toward the bedroom door, I opened it quietly and stood there just listening and waiting for another laugh, hoping it would make this little girl or boy move again. Though the boys were in the middle of an interview, the moment Paul saw me and the tears rolling down my cheeks he sent me a concerned look and moved to get up. Shaking my head, I motioned for him to continue, now drawing the attention of the rest of the boys and their guest. Keep laughing. I mouthed, causing Paul’s eyebrow to raise in confusion. The story being told continued on and after a minute or two Paul’s laugh sounded through the room again, followed by the rapid flutterings of the baby’s movements. 

I remained in the doorway to the living room until the boys wrapped things up a few minutes later and as soon as they were done recording, Paul was out of his chair and moving over to me. 

“Is everything okay?” He murmured softly and I found myself laughing softly as I nodded. 

“Your laugh woke me up because apparently dustbunny likes it. I just felt the baby move for the first time Paul.” His eyes grew wide as he looked down at me, his hand falling to my waist. 

“Wait what? The baby moved?” He questioned. 

“Yeah... I’ve been waiting to feel it because all the books say you should by 22 weeks and I was beginning to worry that I hadn’t yet.” I knew without him even asking that he was wondering if he’d be able to feel it and I shrugged softly. “It’s not a kick or anything yet...more like a feeling of bubbles or something. It’ll be a few more weeks before someone else could feel but god Paul...it’s incredible.” 

The smile on my face made him smile, though I knew he was slightly disappointed that he couldn’t feel. Hugging me gently, he murmured that he was glad that everything was okay and then looking at the clock murmured for me to go get my shower. 

“Fine...if you insist.” I teased softly, leaning up to kiss his cheek before turning to slip back into our room to gather my things for a shower. 

_____

Half an hour later I was clean, shaven, and moisturized. After quickly blow-drying my hair I returned to the bedroom, smiling when I found a button down shirt laid out with a scratchy handwritten note on top of it.

Here’s the button up I promised. Also Brie expects you to take your things over to get ready with her just FYI. The boys and I will bring you back some food in a bit but I probably won’t see you until it’s time to go. Enjoy your girl time. 

Paul

It made me smile that he remembered our conversation from a few days ago where I’d demanded he bring me a spare button up because none of my own fit anymore and I didn’t want to have to struggle with getting a normal shirt off over completed hair and makeup. 

I was a little surprised that Ryan’s wife, Brie, wanted to get ready together because I actually hadn’t met her yet. Still, I gathered up my makeup bag, hair supplies, dress and sandals and headed across the hall, knocking gently at the bedroom door that Ryan had walked out of this morning. 

Brie was so welcoming as she took my things, hanging my dress over the door before taking the rest into the bathroom where her things were already spread out over the counter. As soon as her hands were free, her arms were wrapped around me in a hug. 

“I’m so glad I finally get to meet you. Ryan has not shut up about you since you started working with them. He’s constantly bragging about the events you’re planning and how revenues have grown already.” She exclaimed, causing me to blush having never been one to take compliments well. As she pulled back her eyes widened for a moment. “And oh my god. The baby. Look at you...you’re glowing.” Her excitement was a little bit overwhelming but nice all the same. 

“I just felt the baby move for the first time so that probably has something to do with it.” I explained. 

“It’s the most incredible feeling isn’t it?” She declared rhetorically and I nodded trying to fight back the tears that were threatening again. 

“Yeah it really is. God I am so emotional lately that it’s driving me crazy.” I admitted, and my confession made her laugh as she nodded in sympathy. 

“I know that feeling well.” Looking over the supplies gracing the counter I realized that her hair was already mostly done and she looked absolutely beautiful. “So..this is your first big event right?” She asked, looking over her shoulder at me. 

“Yep. And I wouldn’t be here if I knew how to tell Biz no. But he’s so goddamn insistent and he’s done so much for me that I guess this is the least I could do.” For a moment I couldn’t read the expression on her face before she turned back to me. 

“We’ll get to all of that…” She trailed off, smirking a bit which scared me just a little. “But first, please tell me that you’ll let me do your hair and makeup.” Neither of those areas were really within my expertise, especially not for something like this so I bit my lip for a moment before sighing. 

“Yes please...I honestly have no idea what I’m doing and I’m already nervous enough about tonight.” Her face was giddy as she quickly looked me over once more, paced out of the room to look at my dress, before returning to plug the curling iron I’d brought into the wall. 

“What are you so nervous about?” She finally asked as she quickly finished up her own hair while waiting for the curling iron to heat up. 

“That the entire world is gonna take one look at me on camera and immediately rumors will be flying about my pregnancy. I mean everyone who matters already knows, and I know I’m going to have to make an announcement eventually because I don’t think I can avoid it working this job, but I want to do it on my terms and not because millions of people see me on the arm of Paul Bissonnette and jump to conclusions. That’s the last thing that either of us need.” Brie was silent through my rant before resting a hand gently on my shoulder. 

“It’s all gonna be fine. You and I can sneak down the red carpet ahead of the guys if we have to and once we’re inside there isn’t anyone who would dare say a word about it even if they did notice.” Her face was reassuring as she took two steps out of the bathroom again before returning and motioning for me to sit on a chair she’d brought in from the living room. “But you’re wearing a maternity dress and your bump isn’t that big so I don’t think you have anything to worry about.” She added, quickly sectioning my hair before spraying a portion with heat spray and beginning to curl it. 

She worked in silence on my hair for a few minutes, leaving me to my own thoughts. Now that I was fully awake, my brain started to wander. Brie had mentioned vaguely that we’d get back to the subject of Paul and what she was implying by that made me nervous. Then Grinnell’s assumption about Biz being the baby’s father and Ryan’s comment about Biz being differently lately both popped back into my head and suddenly it felt like I couldn’t breathe. My hands started shaking and didn’t stop until Brie was squatting in front of me, her hands holding mine. 

“Hey...what’s wrong?” She murmured. “Take a deep breath….in…..out….again.” Following her guidance I forced myself to start breathing again though the implications that everyone was making wouldn’t leave my mind. Brie didn’t say anything else right away, letting me try and put my thoughts into words. 

“Sorry....” I whispered, taking a few more deep breaths. “Just fuck...Mikey assumed Paul was the baby’s father and your husband commented on Paul being different lately and just...what does all of that fucking mean?” Brie’s hands were still resting on my own until I finished and then she stood up again. 

“Well...I mean we all know Mikey isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed…” She declared. “So I wouldn’t really read into that. That assumption is probably more on Biz anyway than it is on you.” 

“Still...that assumption is premised on the idea that Biz would even have sex with me…” I trailed off, flushing slightly. 

“What...you don’t think he would?” Brie asked and when she looked down at my face she nearly gasped. “You really don’t think he would…” 

Flushing further, I shrugged. “I’m just...I think it’s clear that I’m not his type okay. We’re talking about the man that has been with models and porn stars…” Ducking my head, I brushed a hand over my bump and sighed. “As much of a man whore as he is, no I don’t think he’d have sex with me. So Mikey’s assumption could not be further off.” 

For a moment it seemed like Brie wanted to push but then she decided it wasn’t a good idea and instead picked the curling iron back up. 

“I think you’re wrong but I’ll drop it at that.” She murmured curling a few more strands of my hair before speaking again. “As far as my husband’s comments go... you have to at least admit that he is different lately because of you.” My face crinkled with confusion, causing Brie to sigh and continue down her train of thought. “Okay so obviously you didn’t know him before he met you...but Ryan and I did and he is so different now. He doesn’t go out as much, doesn’t talk about his hookups as much. Instead, he’s constantly talking about you. You do realize that he spent the entire morning while they weren’t recording talking to Ryan about the baby right? And he’s happier...so much happier than I’ve ever seen him. He cares a lot.” I couldn’t help but think about all of the nights that were spent with Paul on the other end of the phone. But with the time difference I’d assumed that he was just having his fun once I was asleep.

“I know that he cares about the baby...he’s been such a great friend with all of that.” I could see Brie purse her lips from above me before shaking her head. 

“He cares about you too you know...not just the baby.” 

“I mean yeah...we’re friends…” I breathed and Brie got that look on her face that suggested that I was completely daft. 

“Oh...Leigh...I don’t know whether you’re lying to yourself or if you honestly don’t see it.” She mumbled under her breath. Setting the curling iron down for a moment again she leaned against the counter in front of me. “Just...keep an open mind. I know you’re going through a lot but....don’t write things off yet.” 

After a moment’s pause she quickly changed the subject to the baby, what plans I had, when and if I was finding out the sex. She continued curling my hair until there was a knock at the bedroom door and when she called out that it was okay to come in, Grinnell appeared carrying a take out bag from Chick-fil-a and a container of fruit. Brie eagerly grabbed the food from him before shooing him out of the room with a quick thanks. 

I munched on the fruit, somehow knowing that Paul had picked it up specifically for me, while Brie finished my hair. After that, we took five to finish eating and so Brie could start on her own makeup. Scrolling through social media I couldn’t help but laugh seeing the chiclets page’s latest update on Instagram. 

Brie was much faster with her makeup than I could probably ever be and so it wasn’t long before she was digging through my bag and her own figuring out what she was going to do to enhance my look for the night. We talked about her and Ryan’s baby boy who was at home with his grandparents and I couldn’t help but smile thinking about that sort of future with my own baby. It was definitely going to be hard, everything she dealt with when Ryan was on the road would be my life all the time but I loved this baby so much that I couldn’t wait. 

By the time she finished with my makeup, we had about ten minutes before we needed to leave and Ryan had already come banging on the door once to insist that we were ready on time. 

Thankfully, with Brie’s help it didn’t take me more than a minute or two to change from the button down and shorts into my dress. With my bump in the way, putting on my shoes took me a little longer but we were still ready to go and grabbing clutches with a couple of minutes to spare. 

Brie left the room ahead of me and I heard her murmur something to the guys but when I stepped out of the room I wasn’t prepared for the reaction I received. Immediately my ears were met with teasing catcalls coming from RA and Whit. When I looked up, Grinnell wasn’t even paying attention but Paul’s eyes were focused directly on me. Brie smirked at me and motioned to the silly little grin on Paul’s face while she worked on fixing her husband’s tie. If asked, I wouldn’t admit that my heart skipped a beat at the way Paul was looking at me, his eyes soft with a twinkle I’d never noticed before. Still, when he didn’t say anything I was worried that he didn’t like the dress or something. 

“So…?” I whispered softly, trying not to bite my lip and ruin my lipstick. Hearing my voice, Paul blinked rapidly for a moment before striding across the room toward me, his hand falling to my hip. 

“Wow...you look wow.” He breathed, dropping a kiss to my forehead as he looked me up and down. “You look incredible.” He eventually added, a lazy, happy grin taking over his face. A warmth spread through my entire body at his words, but before I could comment on how well he cleaned up, Whit was practically dragging us out the door declaring that we were going to be late. 

Chapter 7 Outfit:

[gremlinkweenarchive-blog]

Bad Moon Rising

Part 3: Feeding Time

Summary: The reader finds and rescues a hurt merman who tells her that his name is Jim. She helps him without a second thought, but his presence might attract the attention of other supernatural creatures she never knew existed. This will eventually be a foursome (Jim Mason x Michael Langdon x Duncan Shepard x Reader) mythology/supernatural au.

A/N: Alright, we finally have significant interaction with all four of them, just not together yet. That’s coming next chapter. I’m .......... fairly proud of this chapter, so I hope you enjoy! And as always, feel free to leave feed back and/or ask for the tag list! This will stir a lot of feelings for Michael and Duncan, fyi.

Warnings: No smut yet, sorry, but there is hella tension. There is blood, injury, purposeful self-injury (for the reasons of feeding a vampire), reader getting hurt, staring death in the face and the aftermath of that, and someone being a little callous to that fact.

Word Count: 2.6k

Tagging List: @langdonsinferno, @ccodyfern, @michael-langdon-appreciation, @lovelykhaleesiii, @michael-langdon-owns-my-soul, and @moonagecordelia

It was a mystic ability that it seemed all Washington natives had they could tell where the sun was, even behind the layers of clouds that often blanketed the sky. She was no different, and even though there was barely any change in the light level, she could tell the sun was peaking over the horizon. She blinked sleepily, she hated that she could never sleep for more than a few hours at a time it felt like. She knew she should get up and get something today, but she was warm and comfy.

She grabbed the furry arm and pulled it closer as she snuggled into the bed. Then her eyes snapped open at the realization of what she was holding. She looked over her shoulder to see the wolf sleepily peacefully and her mind had to restart. Okay, so last night was definitely not a dream or a hallucination. Well, she was up now. She careful shimmied out from the bed as not to wake up her bed partner, and she peaked her head into the bathroom. Jim was cuddled into the pillow and snoring softly, making her smile softly. Alright, everything seemed to be going fine. She descended the stairs to the kitchen softly, catching a glimpse of the vampire who's head was still hanging low, and grabbed a banana, munching quietly as she leaned against the island. She was becoming acutely aware of eyes burrowing into the back of her skull and she whipped around nearly yelped to see that the vampire was very much awake and staring her down like a lion would a gazelle. He made no move to fight against the chains fastened around his chest, but he certainly looked like he was waiting to spring into action. 

"Hi there," she cautiously greeted and he met it with silence, just watching her every movement. "I'm Y/N...." She trailed off as he again, met her attempted conversation with silence. 

"Look, I'm sorry I knocked you and tied you up, but you were trying to kill one of my friends..." Again, silence. She had to admire his tenacity. She sighed, and was a little impressed that it was hurting her feelings a little.

She ate in silence until she heard and was just at the point that she had let it go, "You should have killed me when you had the chance."

It was amazing that this man made her jump twice in the span of ten minutes. Something about him was unsettling, but she wasn't sure what. Or more, where to start. Yeah, he was a blood-sucking vampire, but that wasn't it necessarily. She looked over at him. He was so still and controlled, like every movement he thought about doing it. There was something else though, it was just under the surface.

"I wasn't just going to kill you." She answered, earnestly. 

"Why? I was going to."

"We're not the same people. I wasn't going to kill someone that is just doing what they need to do for survival.... I just couldn't let you kill my friend." He was quiet again, and she wasn't sure where that left their conversation. Finally, he posed another question, "And what makes you so certain I won't kill you when I get out of this? I can't stay here forever."

"Well, I certainly hope that you have enough manners that you won't kill someone who could have killed you, but didn't."

He hummed.

She pursed her lips and got brave enough to venture closer to him. He was still heavily wounded, but the hairs on her arms and the back of her neck were standing up. He was staring at the ground now, but his eyes moved measuredly to meet her curious gaze, a silent and rude what being spoken with the gaze. 

"I thought vampires healed quickly." 

"I'm weak, I haven't fed in a week and a half." 

Now she hummed, and as he looked away, moving just as languidly as he did to look at her, she moved in jerk motions back to the kitchen. She tapped the counter with her nail, thinking about what she should do, and as her eyes flicked to the knife that she used for the skinning and gutting of the fish she caught for herself, she sighed deeply. 

She grabbed and a measuring cup from the cupboard and tried to get comfortable. She had to think about this, but she decided that cutting her ankle was probably the best bit. She remembered from that medical history class this was the most agreed upon spot for blood letting, and it would be the easiest to hide because man, would this cause lots of questions.

The position was less than dignified, measuring cup on the island and leg resting on that, as the rest of her was balanced on one of the stools, but it worked. She took a moment to breathe before slicing into her skin as fast and fluidly as she could. A grunt escaped her lips, but it wasn't the worst pain she's never felt. It was quiet, except the occasional sound of metal against wood. The vampire's interest was piqued now. She let the cup get most of the way full before grabbing the towel on the counter and applies pressure to the wound until the bleeding slowed down to a slow ooze. 

She grabbed the cup and approached Michael with uneasy and shaky steps. His eyes were fastened on the measuring cup and his eyes were darkening. He was inhaling the air to intake the scent of the blood. 

"Here, a peace offering. Now, please just don't..." She wasn't sure what she was asking for but his dark and red eyes fixed her gaze and he nodded for her to approach, a silent promise that he wouldn't try anything. 

There was a fire growing in her veins as she approach. She was scared and his lips turned up to a sadistic smirk hearing her heart beating like a rabbit's. There was something else here though. The way his eyes burned into her, the pure predator and prey dynamic here, was making a heat flare up in her core. She brought the cup to his lips and tipped it. He started greedily drinking the blood, his eyes keeping her gaze until his eyes rolled back in ecstasy, a languid groan sounded from him, then he was drinking down the hot liquid with even more fervor. His eyes fluttered open and with long and slow strokes of his tongue, he lapped what he could reach of the measuring cup. 

Taking it away slowly, she didn't even realize she was breathing hard. His eyes were still dark, and that dark smile was on his lips again as he licked them clean. "Thank you."

"Uh-huh," She said with a strained voice and left for the kitchen, trying to hide her flushed cheeks and arousal, but she doubted that he didn't notice. He could probably smell and hear her. She set the cup in the sink and stole another glance at the vampire and saw him watching her intently. 

She turned to go back upstairs to get changed, but as she got ready for the day, it hit her why he was so unnerving. She only saw him breathe to get the scent of her blood, other than that, his chest was stationary. He only moved out of necessity. There were none of the involuntary movements that came with being alive, he didn't even twitch his head or blink for that matter. He was totally and utterly in control of himself, and something about that just scared her, but also had an extreme power over her. 

She slipped out of the house without even looking into the living room, she didn't want to have to have anymore interaction with the vampire than she had to. It was too much to be in the presence of such an apex predator. 

------------------------------ The shopping went well, even if the new wound on her ankle had started burning half way from the trip. She wasn't too bothered though, but she was happy to be wrestling the groceries into the house. She set things down on the island and kicked off her shoes, but something mad her stop. Something wasn't right here, but she couldn't put her finger on it. She went through the small entry way off to the side of the kitchen that connected the stairs and the living room, and it clicked. The beam was broken, the chains were strewn around the floor and there was no vampire in sight. Fuck. 

Suddenly, she was forced to the wall with a hand clamped around her throat. "I'm sorry to tell you, but I'm not big on manners." 

She made eye contact with him, but she wasn't able to contain her fear like she did with the wolf. This was a creature hellbent on hurting her. 

He was smiling again, drinking in your fear. "You know, this morning I was planning on just ripping open your neck and then draining that little merman you have up stairs, but you just taste so goddamn delicious. I think I'm going to have to keep you around for awhile. I haven't had my own personal blood bag in such a long time." 

She whimpered, terrified of this creature now, truly and wholly. He didn't have an ounce of sympathy in his eyes, if anything, unbridled joy at your fear. "Know that I'm going to suck you dry just until you're about to die, then I'm going to kill your friend. We're going to have fun." 

You had no idea what to do, but from the lack of oxygen and his words had tears pricking your eyes. 

"Now, Michael," you didn't have time to respond before the vampire was forced from you and in the quick struggle, you were pushed to the couch in your living room. You grabbed your throat and looked up in confusion to see what they fuck was going on. 

"That's not very nice." 

What a sight it was. There was a man you didn't recognize pinning the vampire to the wall the same way he had pinned you. He was also naked as the day he was born. His arm flexed as his fingers tightened around the other's neck, his back was toned and that was by far the most pert and mouth watering ass you had ever seen. He was just hard muscle and part of you wondered if Michelangelo didn't carve him from marble. 

"Our gracious host spares your life, and this is how you repay her?" He turned to look over his shoulder to look at you, giving you a wink. "Hey there, sweetheart." 

You nearly hit the floor, you knew those eyes. This is the wolf that you shared your bed with. You could see the wounds, but they were practically all healed now. You found yourself thanking the universe for him now. 

He turned his attention to the vampire again, "Honestly, Michael. I know you were born in a barn, but this is a new level of rude for you. This nice girl does so much for you, even feeds you, and you have the audacity to want to hurt her like that? Shameful."

Michael's mouth is set in a hard and angry line, but not risking a fight. Seeing his hesitance, Duncan grins in his face.

"You're still weak from the fight, aren't you? You know I can snap your neck right now and there's not a damn thing you can do to stop me." Michael looked away from him, and she yelped from her position on the couch.

He looked over at her, "Too much, sweetheart?" He turned back to Michael, a cocky sort of anger lighting his eyes.

"Even now, she isn't keen on killing you. As I said, shameful." He did change his stance a bit, and she couldn't help but stare at his tight backside as he moved.

"If you promise to be good, I'll let you go, kitten."

Michael's nose flared at the comment and she was more than confused as to what that was about.

"I promise," Michael agreed through gritted teeth and Duncan let him go.

"That's a good boy."

Now, Duncan's attention was on her and he was smiling. She saw him now in all his glory, and her breath hitched. With a smirk, he moved towards her, crawling over the couch to her. She hadn't been intimate with anyone in over a year, and even then, she wasn't used to someone to forward. She sunk into the couch with a bright red blush and wide eyes.

"Hi, sweetheart." He asked, his face hovering just above her's and his voice was low. "We weren't properly introduced last night. I'm Duncan Shepard, next alpha of the largest and most powerful pack on the East Coast. What's your name?"

She hummed like she understood what the hell he just said to her, and then it hit her that he asked for her name. "It's, um, Y/N."

He grinned. "Y/N," he spoke like he was tasting her name in her mouth. "That's a beautiful name."

"Thanks," she squeaked out and he was smiling and biting his lip.

"God, what a cute omega you'd make."

"Thanks, um. Can you, Can you maybe put on some clothes?" She was bright red and she had just done 180s with her emotions and she needed some type of relief from this. Just a moment to process this. "I've got somethings up stairs."

Duncan was slightly taken aback, not sure how to take her comment. She certainly didn't smell like she wanted him off of her, but her eyes were practically begging, and Micahel let out an amused snort from somewhere behind the two of them.

"I need to go to the bathroom," she was bright red and he saw the storm of emotions and he nodded, letting her up and watched her as she ran to the long way to the bathroom avoiding Michael as much as she could. Once she was out of Duncan's sight, he turned to Michael and the eye contact they held screamed a thousand words and emotions, but no words were shared.

She ran to the bathroom and slammed the door closed and turned on the facet and splashed her face with water. Her breathing was irregular, and she was fighting back tears. She had been nearly killed, and then whatever that was with Duncan happened, and she was scared. Scared was the only word she had, and she was beginning to regret this whole thing.

"Y/N?" Jim cautiously asked, but concern dripped through his voice.

The young woman nearly jumped out of her skin, for a moment forgetting that the merman was in the room. "Yeah, hi Jim. Sorry."

"Are you okay?" He knew the answer, he knew the telltale signs of the beginning to breakdown, and he could see the bruise on your neck forming, but he felt like he it wasn't his place to tell you that you weren't okay.

"... I will be," She spoke carefully, "I will be."

Jim held out his hand and she stared at it for a moment before gingerly placing her's in the palm. He gently squeezed her hand and she felt the tension slip from her muscles. He offered her a small and kind smile, and she didn't know how, but she was pretty sure that was the most beautiful thing she's ever seen.

"You will be," he reassured her, and she believed him.

[jbuffyangel]

Weekly Rundown 10/21/18-10/26/18

Time to rundown what I’m watching, loving, hating and everything in between! Spoilers ahead! Full episode reviews and reactions are linked in the titles.

Daredevil Season 3

Just so y’all know - most nuns do not wear their habits in public anymore. It’s been that way since Vatican II, but TV refuses to catch up.

The action is amaaaaazing again. I love how Matt actually gets tired when he’s fighting.

I don’t want Matt to put that ugly Daredevil suit on again he looks ridiculous. Keep the black mask and call it a day.

I want Foggy to propose very badly. I need a Foggy wedding in Season 4.

Is there any particular reason why Karen didn’t haul ass to Frank’s Punisher lair when her life was in danger and Matty Mcbrown eyes was off Daredeviling an existential crisis? That’s where I’d go.

Matt refusing to ask the other Defenders help because “it’s not their fight” is the stupidest reason ever.

Arrow (“The Longbow Hunters”)

It is a bit creepy when Stan says, “I bet a guy like that would do anything to keep his family safe.” Maybe Stan is a nuthouse, but leave me to my dream for now.

Is it me or did Yorke look older than 40? 1978????

Deputy Director Bell is evil. Calling it now.

The Longbow Hunters don’t actually use bows. This is a twist I did not see coming.

Bl*ck S*ren can’t lawyer worth a damn, but she can wear a suit.

“Stay behind me.” That was oddly hot Rene. I’m wildly uncomfortable that I find you attractive right now, but it is what it is.

Rene: Been back in town a week and you’re already sneaking out of A.R.G.U.S. behind Papa Dig’s back? I’m so proud.

Felicity: Thanks man.

This whole exchange was delightful and not remotely derogatory like “Blondie.” THY NAME IS CHARACTER GROWTH.

“Grab your balls Curtis, we’re going in.” If the Rene character only exists to say this one line of dialogue then it was worth it.

Why didn’t BS and Dinah go after the Longbow Hunter? What is up with allowing all these criminals to run away at a moderately brisk pace and our people acting like they can’t catch them? They are called legs! Move your ass!  

BITCH YOU BETTER NOT STEP ON THAT PHOTO!!!!!!!

Legends of Tomorrow  (“The Virgin Gary”)

Legends Season 4 premiere is fantastic and full of all the hi-jinks I’ve missed over hiatus.

“Speaking of the same old crap isn’t that what he did last year?”Legends gets points for acknowledging that Wally gets the storyline shaft a lot.

When you are officially a hero the time bureau gives you a medal, but I was more excited about the balloons.

It would be super weird if the Legends spent more than a day in 2018.

Remember when Oliver asked Sara to move in with him and she went running screaming in the other direction? It all worked out because Sara knew he was really in love with Felicity. I’m just saying she’s come a looooong way.

I want to be clear about one thing and it’s not up for debate. Ready? The best thing about Legends is Mick. It’s always Mick. That is all.

OMG NATE’S FATHER IS BIFF FROM BACK TO THE FUTURE?????!!!!!!!! THIS IS SPECTACULAR CASTING!!!

Manifest “Connecting Flights”

It was nice to fill in the back story of the characters left behind after the plane went missing, however the show is starting to lose my attention. I need more movement on these character relationships. Manifest is hitting a lot of the same notes week after week.

This Is Us (“Toby”)

Randall is going ahead with the city council job? Are they independently wealthy Does no one have to work?

Baby Toby is the cutest.

Holy crap is this how in vitro really works? It’s so friggin expensive and no guarantees. Wow, my sympathies to all those who have gone through this excruciating process.

Randall unbuttoning his shirt is all the reason I need to vote for him. Done deal. 

Toby used his wonderful sense of humor to cheer up his depressed Mom. Ugh my heart.

But for real though sometimes you need just “one damn day.” #MomLife

Three hours to get ready Kate? Just as an FYI - that’s all over when you have a baby. You’ll be lucky to get a shower.

Miguel carried a piano up stairs to cheer Rebecca up. That’s love.

“There’s so much of her in you it scares me.” THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU SAY TO YOUR CHILD ASSHOLE.

A+ on the prom dresses. Absolutely what I wore in high school. We were fashionista slaves in the late nineties.

Kate’s impression of Adele is dead on.

Miguel tries so hard. He’s just trying to keep his promise to Jack.

Rebecca is such an amazing mom. Kate doesn’t give her nearly enough credit.

KATE IS PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Rookie (Pilot” and “Crash Course”)

I really loved The Rookie. I typically don’t hate procedurals, but this one has surprised me thus far. It’s fast paced, so it held my attention more. I hope it stays that way. 

I love how it is the rookies versus the training officers. It fills my Rookie Blue void.

I am not invested in any ships yet. I am not buying the romance between Nolan and Lucy so far. I actually think Lucy has more chemistry with Bradford and Nolan with the Captain.

A Million Little Things (“Friday Night Dinner” and “The Game of Your Life”)

I want to love this show, but they are making it next to impossible. I hate cheating storylines in any show. It’s one of the main reasons I quit watching Shonda Rhimes’ shows because she is unable to write one without including adultery. Arrow’s original love story revolved around cheating and was an absolute mess. It feels like a lazy way to inject drama. This cheating storyline between Eddie and Delilah is making two characters who are otherwise very likable extremely unlikable. 

Instead of jettisoning this plot into the atmosphere where it belongs and never speaking of it again, A Million Little Things is double down on it.  Delilah is pregnant! Oh wonderful, now we get to play “Who’s the Daddy?” for several weeks.

Apparently, the writers come from The Fl*sh school of writing. Characters can only be mad at other characters for one episode. All the friends found out about Eddie and Delilah’s affair and the very next week they are sitting down to pizza. It’s at Delilah’s house and Eddie’s wife Katherine comes too because FRIENDS. No. Just no.

Instead of being angry at Eddie and Delilah, the friends make excuses for them. Regina’s conversation with Delilah turned into a huge “I didn’t see your pain” apology, which is flat out ridiculous. What Delilah did was so off the charts wrong there is no excuse for it. If you are in pain see a therapist. It’s not an excuse to cheat on your husband. Also, Regina you are not to blame for Delilah lying to everyone for over two years. 

Gary, who has been the angriest, decides he’s being too hard on Eddie (ya know by actually holding him accountable for his actions) and lets Eddie move in with him after his wife finally kicked him out. Are you freaking kidding me with this? I was already mildly irked at Gary for giving Delilah a free pass, but I understood his reasoning because her husband just jumped off a building. She has been punished quite a lot. But Eddie? I think we could muster a couple episodes of anger towards Eddie.

The writers attempted drum up sympathy for Delilah by shining a little light on her seemingly perfect marriage with Jon. It’s not really perfect, but what marriage is? Jon was short with Delilah during a family dinner. He took a phone call from work and snapped, “Everything I do is for this family.” What a bastard. Of course, that is reason enough for Delilah to jump into bed with Eddie, her husband’s best friend. GIVE. ME. A. FRIGGIN. BREAK. If my husband slept with someone else every time I was cranky with him, he’d have a harem.

So, on top of being suicide apologists, the writers are adding cheating apologists. There is no reason to cheat. It’s just mean. Nobody has put a gun to your head. If you want out of your marriage you march to an attorney’s office and file for divorce. Not sure if you want a divorce? Then go to counseling. But cheating, under any circumstances, is wrong. It’s cruel and selfish. It’s trying to have your cake and eat it too. A Million Little Things trying to excuse away Eddie and Delilah’s heinous behavior is almost as bad as the cheating itself. Trying to make suicide and cheating okay with excuses is dangerous behavior. I AM NOT A FAN.

Stray Thought - on what planet is a school program presented in the middle of the freaking day? What kind of ridiculous school do Eddie and Katherine send their son to?

Blindspot (“The Quantico Affair”) 

Zapata has a very interesting running stride. Sorry I was in cross country. That stuff interests me

Roman saying "He knows. This is it. Kill him" underscores the dramatic tension.

I’m gonna need someone on Team Blindspot to pick up on Remi's side eye. Y'all are FBI agents for goodness sake.

I don't actually know what Patterson's name is, but I feel confident it is not Lisa.

I think Martin Gero saw me write "Where is Patterson's storyline?" in my last review. I could have opted for patience, but complaining loudly via written word felt like a better plan. 

Hey watch the condemnation Remi aka Jane aka double secret agent who told so many lies I can't keep it straight anymore.

OMG Rich not explaining how the tattoo was solved is the best thing ever. PLEASE DO THIS EVERY WEEK

I wanna talk about the Book of Secrets mostly because Rich calls it the Book of Secrets.

Hahaha. Her one night stand showed up at work. This is how Meredith and McDreamy began. I highly recommend elevator scenes too.

One night stand boy is Weitz's nephew. IT. JUST. GOT. BETTER

Sure Madeline come on in and check out our super secret tattoo murder board.

"Thundercats ho!" OMG was that an ad lib?

Totally ship Patterson and this dude. I should probably learn his name.

Somebody tell Rich about the one night stand. Pleeeeeeeease.

I'm not calling him Lincoln. He shall be known as "Slab of Man-Ham" forevermore.

Patterson and Rich are the perfect work wife/husband team. Remember Rich is the work wife

How does Weitz maintain employment? This may be the greatest of all Blindspot's mysteries.

Of course "Jane" and Weller are on the train Weitz. IT'S THEIR JOB. Seriously someone get this dude a DVD of #Blindspot S1-S3

Patterson girl, Jane is never that cranky with you when she's diffusing bombs. SOMEBODY NOTICE PERSONALITY CHANGES PLEASE!!!

"You're new here." ALL KNEEL TO PATTERSON.

[maddieson-san]

KogKag Week prompt #5

Kogkag Week 2017

Prompt 4: Tender / Tough

A/N: College!AU. A little bit of tough, mostly tender. But I used all definitions of tender. (showing gentleness and concern or sympathy,  sensitive to pain, requiring tact or careful handling). ALSO. GUISE. IF YOU GUISE DONT FREAKING DIE OF LAUGHTER from the TEXTS they share. I might quit writing  *I KID I KID*

Fyi. Didn’t have time to re-read (Barely have time to write them on time, so if theres mistakes, or jumbling, sorry!)

“Kagome?”

Her heart stopped, her hand froze in place and a tremble traveled through her body. She had not heard that voice in a long time, and yet, right now, it felt like yesterday. It was him. She knew it was him without even turning around. Maybe if she ignored him, pretended that she could not hear him, maybe he would go away. Yes - she needed him to go away. She swallowed hard, and then, continued searching for her book in the midst of her yellow locker. She did not turn, she did not breathe. She needed this to be an hallucination. Since the day he broke her heart, he had not come to her. Not a single word, not a message - nothing. She was not doing this. Not a year later. It was too late to come talk to her now.

“Kagome,” he repeated, this time much softer.

His nose told him all he needed to know about this situation. He did not need to see her face to imagine what it looked like right now. But he had to do this. When he left her, it was because he did not want either of their lives to be ruined by a decision they made too quickly. He had not done it to make it suffer - it had been the right thing to do. It was also the reason for his presence by her side. He had been able to find out a little about that Kouga guy that was hanging around her and he did not like it one bit. She could do what she wanted with her life and she was a free woman but - but he did not want her to get played like that by a frat guy like him.

“Please, I need to talk to you.”

And those were the words that made her snap. Before she knew it, she had slammed her book down on the floor. She turned around, fire burning in her eyes as she looked at him. “You need to talk to me? You need to talk to me.” That guy had some nerves. “I needed an explanation. I needed to not be dumped out of the blue on the eve of college. I needed a lot of things Inuyasha.” Despite her rage flowing through her blood and her shaking fists, there were tears pooling in her eyes. “I didn’t get any of them. So where do you get off saying you need something. You’re about a year to late for me to give a crap.”

She used to imagine their reunion, she used to dream of the day he would realize he was a moron. She would not have taken him back right away - she would have made him work for it. But - but now it was too late. He might still hold part of her heart, she might still feel for him but she refused to be his welcome mat all over again. He had abused her kindness enough and he had wasted enough of her time. “Go talk to someone who cares.” She slammed her locker shut and then bent down to pick up her book from the floor. “And that isn’t me.”

“Oi, I ain’t here for me. I’m here for you!” He was letting his temper slip him but what else could he do?

This was unbelievable! He had to be joking! There were cameras somewhere, waiting to surprise her because this could not possibly be real. It could not be. “For me?”

“Yeah, you’re being an idiot.”

“Excuse me?”

“Just stay away from that guy.”

She frowned. “What guy?”

“Kouga!” he shouted.

He - he… no. He had not talked to her in over a year and now he was talking to her because he had seen her with another guy? He was actually throwing a hissy jealousy fit at her? Unbelievable. “You’re something else, you know that.”

“Ugh, you don’t get it. Don’t be an idiot Kagome.”

“An idiot? An idiot is what I was when I was dating you.” She felt one of tears slid down her cheek. “Why don’t you go back to your girl and leave me alone.”

“Kagome.”

“I said enough.”

As she finally let out a loud breathe, she realized that the hallway was quiet. It was quiet because everyone had stopped their activities to stare at them and watch the scene unfold. This was not the kind of situation she needed in her life. She was done. She threw one last glance his way, hoping he would see all the pain and misery he had left behind, and she walked away. She could hear Inuyasha shouting her name in the background, but she ignored it. She was not going to willingly walk back into that. Her heart was aching but her head knew it was the best thing to do. It would never work. They were not good together and they were too different to make it work. That encounter proved it. Except, it did very little to stop the shake of her body or the feeling of nausea squeezing at her guts. She was going to do something she had never done before; ditch class.

She thought she was tougher than this, but she was not.

-H-

“Hey Kouga, we’re getting a pitcher, do you want split it with us?”

He shook his head. “I got a class.”

“Like that ever stopped you before.”

“Hey now, you know he’s a model student now. He doesn’t want to disappoint his girl - I mean his tutor.”

Kouga’s eyes narrowed. “Are you sure you two idiots need alcohol? Feels to me like you’re stupid enough already.”

“Where’s the love?”

“Up your -“ But Kouga did not have time to finish his line. He was interrupted by the sound of his own voice vibrating and beeping. He flipped it on the table, seeing that he had a new text message. Except it was not from a number he knew. He arched an eyebrow before opening it. Are you busy? Maybe it was a wrong number. Or maybe one of his friends changed number? He could answer. Who’s this? And sent. He was about to look away when the answer came in already. Kagome. His eyes widened; Kagome? When had he ever given Kagome his phone number? He did not ind that she had it, but he simply did not remember giving it to her. Was it really her or were one of the bozos playing a prank on him?

“Kouga, what’s wrong?”

“Your joke is not funny.”

“What joke?” Ginta asked as he put the pitcher down on the table.

“Pretending to be Kagome.”

“What are you talking about?”

Kouga lifted his phone from the table and showed them the message.

“That’s not us.”

“How does she have my number then?”

“Oh, I gave it to her.”

“What?”

“Yeah, she said you hadn��t shown up to your tutoring lesson and she was worried about you. Told her you were at the frat, and gave her your number.”

Wait - that was how Kagome found out where she was? It was the whole reason why she had shown up on his doorstep? And now she was texting him? “So it’s really her.”

Hakkaku grinned. “It’s really her.”

Well then. Who was he to make her wait? Nope, I’m free. What’s up? It was almost hard to contain his smirk; for someone who kept turning him down and rejecting his flirting - she kept coming back. He was getting through to her it seemed. Lunch? At the little deli by campus? Wait. Was she asking him out? This was starting to not add up. On my way.

“Boys, I gotta go.”

“Kagome calling?”

“None of ya business.” He picked up a fries from Ginta’s plate before disappearing from sight.

Kagome was waiting for him.

-H-

She was a moron.

Kagome was nervously tapping the heel of her foot against the ceramic floor. Why had she texted him? She could have talked to Sango. No, she could not have talked to Sango. She would have known. One look at her and Sango would have known this was about Inuyasha. It was the same reason why she could not go to Miroku. It did not leave her with many options. She could have stayed alone but - but she did not want to be alone with her thoughts at this moment. She needed a distraction, she needed someone who did not have the whole story. Kouga had accepted the little she had to say about it, and she had a feeling he would not press the issue further.

When did he become her only resource?

This was the guy she kissed.

The guy she slapped.

He was… her friend? When did he become her friend? No, she was his tutor and - and she had texted him and he was coming.

The sound of a bell ringing pulled her out of her thoughts and she turned her head towards the door. As expected, she saw Kouga walk in, his eyes searching for her. She made the task a little easier for him by raising her hand and waving at him. Once his eyes landed on her, he smiled brightly. As soon as he got close to her, his nose picked up the scent of sadness; it clung to her like a second skin. She was sad? She was trying to hide it behind a smile but, scents did not lie. Was that why she had called him? If so… why him? He knew she had friends… at least people she was close to… much closer than they were. Although he would be lying if he said he did not feel pride in the fact that she had reached out to him out of all her options. She had chosen him.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

Great, now it was awkward - she had made it awkward. Why did she even call him? So they could sit…and? He would make a cocky comment… or flirt with her… and that was it. It was not bad, he was not bad. His attitude and flirting were harmless, and despite the few times that he had made some advances on her, they had been — comments. Nothing more. He had not pressured her or forced her into anything. Sango had tried for the last year to get her to come out of her shell without any success whatsoever. But… he seemed to have done it. And now, she was reaching out to this stranger… and she could not explain it.

There was something about her scent that was off. Although it almost appeared to be a harmless lunch, but it felt like there was more to it. Still, he said nothing as he sat down across from her.

“Sorry, hm, Ginta gave me your number.”

“Hey I woulda given you my number myself if I hadn’t been scared to get slapped,” he said with a chuckle.

“It was well deserved.”

“Really? I don’t think ya can blame me. I suffer from PTSD.”

“From?”

“From this strange girl who assaulted me at a party.”

Now that she had a chance to think about it, she felt like a complete moron. If a guy had grabbed her and kissed her like she had done to him… her reaction would have been less than pleasant. “Sorry about that.”

“About what?” he inquired with a frown.

“Using you without your permission.” She had given him a lot of crap about his forwardness but he had been at the origin of it all… She had almost led him on really.

“You’re sorry… about kissing me?” Surely she had to be kidding. She had to know that it had not bothered him at all.

“Yeah…”

“I asked for seconds for a reason,” he said with a wink.

She blushed hotly and found herself unable to meet his eyes. How was he able to say such things with ease?

“Hi, my name is Iza, what can I get you today?” She was a perky waitress with a smile that looked like it was going to split her cheeks open.

“I’ll have the special,” Kouga quickly answered.

“Perfect, and you miss?”

She had never actually eaten here before. She was not quite sure how she even ended up here in the first place. “I’ll have the same thing.” Hopefully they had similar tastes.

“Coming right up.”

As quickly as she had come, she disappeared.

“So you’re inviting right?”

She was the one who dragged him out of his life. “Sure.”

As if he would let her pay. But no sense in saying it out loud and facing her stubbornness. “So, have I finally swooned you?” Once he saw her raised eyebrow he realized that she would need a more in depth explanation. “You invited me to lunch,” he pointed out with his trademark smirk.

“As friends.”

“Woo, we’re friends now? This might be going a little too fast for me.”

“That’s all I had to do to get rid of you? Commitment?”

Somehow, her little joke stung a little. She had expressed early on that she saw him as a typical jock. From her humour, he guessed that it was still her current vision of him. “You’re gonna have to try a lot harder than that if you wanna get rid of me.”

Something about the words he spoke shook her to her core. She had been with Inuyasha a long time and prior to the moment when he broke her heart, they had been good together. However, there was one thing Inuyasha had never done; he was not good with verbally displaying his love or public displays of affection. In that sense, Kouga was much different than him; he held no shame in regards to the words he spoke. Despite the cockiness and the thought attitude, he had quite a tender side.

“There’s still time.”

“Hey - we have a deal. You tutor me and I make you invisible.” Alright, he had slightly twisted his part of the deal but it was only because deep inside he knew that she would want him to suffer a little.

Invisible huh? She found her glance dropping to the table. If only she could have been invisible a little earlier, it would have been great.

“Did something happen?” His voice was no longer laced with joy and instead his tone become more serious. Considering the expression painted over her features, it was difficult to keep ignoring the signs of sadness thrown his way.

She should not tell him, she did not even have to tell him. “I - ran into him.” That was one way to describe the situation that took place.

He winced.

“At least he didn’t make a scene.” She, on the other hand, had embarrassed herself.

“Kagome…”

“I should be fine, it’s been a tear. It’s called moving on. Yes, I’ve heard it before.” She knew the whole story; he was the one losing out, she was better than this, tougher than this. She was Kagome. Yes, she was tough, yes, she pulled through things. But - the hole he left in her life was different. Inuyasha was her boyfriend, he was her best friend - it was hard to be tough when you lose every safety net you have. No one to talk to, no one to laugh with - it was not the same. He had always been in her life and now she had to learn to live her life without him.

“Actually,” he began before letting a pause nestle itself between them. “I was just gonna call him an idiot.”

She scoffed. “You don’t know him or me. Maybe he was right to do what he did.”

“Doubt it.”

“I might be the worst girlfriend in the world.”

“Kagome, trust me, the only logical explanation to him dumping an amazing girl like you is that he’s a complete moron.”

She knew he was trying to uplift her mood, but lies would not help her. “Kouga, you don’t know me that well and we never dated. You don’t know. I’m not the girl you think I am.” He had this vision of her and it was not right.

“Can I ask ya something?” Honestly, he should not. He should not be inserting himself in her life. Yet he was doing it.

She should say no. If he was asking for permission, it meant that  she would not like the question. But she gave in regardless. “Sure.”

“Why do you want to be invisible?”

“What do you mean?”

“He left. He ran away. Why are you trying to disappear?” She should not be experiencing any kind of shame. “I mean, I’ve seen ya, you pack quite a slap, you speak your mind… You’re tough. Why do you let him do that to you?”

He had a way to be charming with words but he also cut to the chase. His words cut through her and she swallowed hard. “Says the guy who’s letting an injury ruin his whole life.”

Ouch. “See what I mean?” No, he was not purposefully avoiding the question. “Where’s that fire?”

“Have you ever been in love?” She knew he enjoyed flirting, but she had yet to hear about girlfriends. “Did you ever plan out your whole life with someone, only to have it taken from you with no explanation?”

His whole life had been spent on running. He had a few girlfriends, but he would not call it love. “Do you want him back?”

“No.” That was an easy question. She could not go back to him. She would never trust him and she would constantly wait for the other shoe to drop. It did not mean she did not miss him however.

He would be lying if he said that he was not pleased by her quick answer. If she did not want him back, then she had to move on from him. “So stop being invisible. He has someone else, he’s not hiding.”

“I’m not hiding.” She popped her lips. “Why does he know you?”

“What?”

“He asked me about you.”

He chuckled; that boy was an idiot and he was giving him way too much ammo. “He’s been asking around about me. I think he’s jealous.”

How in the world could they possibly know each other? She had not wanted to think that he was jealous but - she had to admit, as guilty as she felt, it was good to know he was not completely happy in his new life.

“You know, I don’t mind changing our deal.”

“What?”

“He’s jealous. Use it.”

She was not this kind of person. She did not manipulate other people’s feelings for her benefit. “I’m not gonna do that.” It wouldn’t be right.

“I haven’t even told ya the plan.”

She stared at him with half lidded eyes. “That I pretended w’ere dating?” He was a little transparent.

“Hey, it’s a selfless gesture.” She had been stuck in a rut and he just wanted her to remove the barrier she had put on herself.

“Kouga.”

“I keep my hands to myself, and you try to live a little.” She had let the ghost of Inuyasha’s presence invade her life and impact her decisions. Still, he could not possible think she would so blindly accept to play pretend girlfriend. It was to help her move on from him. Although he had been trying to get her to respond to him, it was not about that. Even if it would not hurt for her to get to know him a little better.

“Fine.”

Had she just said fine?”

“I’ll try it your way if -“

“Ah, there’s an if?” He should have known.

“If you get an A on the test this week AND -“

“There’s an and too?” Now she was being plain unfair.

“And you gotta stop avoiding everything related to running and your team.” She was not the only one avoiding something. Maybe he wanted  to put on the tough act but she could see right through it.

He was not avoiding running. He had been busy and he had not wanted to ruin his friends and collegues’ celebration by tainting it with his presence. He knew exactly what she was trying to do. She did not think that he would say yes - or succeed. “Deal.”

Kagome had figured he would not back down from a challenge, though she did wonder how he would go from the D he got last week to an A.

“Good.”

-H-

“Alright, fess up.”

“Excuse me?”

Kouga tilted his head to the side, trying to understand what he could have possibly done for Kagome’s roommate to be staring at him with such a stern look on her face.

“Are you playing her?”

“Playing who?”

“Are you playing with Kagome?”

“Why would I do that?”

“Look, the last year hasn’t been easy on her.” Usually, Sango tried to not mingle too much. After all, Kagome’s life was her own. But - well. Kagome had not interacted with guys - minus Miroku - since her break with Inuyasha. This Kouga thing was unexpected. Kagome had finally shared with her the encounter she had with Inuyasha. In the midst of her emotions and the storytelling, she had overshared and mentioned Kouga. Yes, at first Sango felt a ping of pain out of the fact that she was not her friend’s first call. However, she did think it was good that Kagome was expending her social circle. But that posed a risk; what if Kouga was a no good dead beat? Then what? As Kagome’s best friend she had no choice but to investigate. “I don’t want to have some jerk take advantage of her.” Kagome had a kind sol and she knew some people could use that against her.

“I ain’t some asshole, trying to get some, if that that’s what you mean.” Why was that everyone’s first opinion of him?

“I’m not saying you are, but I’m looking out for my friend. What are you hoping to get out of this?”

In all honesty, he was not sure. It had started with that kiss and ever since then, he had wanted to know about her. Knowing her as not lessened that need. She mesmerized him with her beauty, her fire, her loyalty. He had yet to meet another girl like her. “I wanna know her.”

“With clothes on or off?”

He smirked. “Well, I wouldn’t mind if the clothes were off.”

Slap!

Well, now he knew where Kagome picked up her slapping habits. How were they both so strong for tiny humans? “It’s called a joke,” he pointed out as he rubbed the side of his arm. “I think she’s great and I think Inutrasha is a fucking moron. Good enough for ya?”

She chuckled. “It’ll do for now. But I’m watching you. I’m from a long line of youkai slayers. Don’t mess with her or I’ll have your head.”

“Yes ma’am.” Well that explained the hidden strength. Youkai slaying was a basically extinct practice but the documentation on it lived through to this day. She pointed a finger at him, silently warning him before walking away, her stride confident. He could not help the laughter that bubbled in his chest; he had officially been warned by her best friend. Things were looking good for him.

-H-

Kagome groaned as her phone vibrated yet again. She was really starting to regret making that deal with him. Now that he had her phone number, he was unstoppable. He had taken it upon himself to send her tests messages and pictures to inform her of his every move. Anytime he picked up a book, he sent a picture. But that was not all! In an effort to prove to her that he was not avoiding his track team, he would text her time result, team updates and even photos of the group. She was not quite sure that she bought it but it did not stop him from sending them. He was committed, she would give him that.

“You’re popular,” Sango commented without lifting her eyes from her book.

“Not really,” Kagome answered as she flipped her cellphone so that she could only see the blue back cover. “It’s all from the same annoying person.”

“Kouga?”

She felt a slight blush peaked on her face. “Yeah.”

Buzz.

Kagome sighed before grabbing her phone once again while missing the smirk Sango was throwing her way. As expected, it was a picture of his book. The background of the picture had changed however as he no longer appeared to be in the kitchen. Instead of seeing his book resting on a wooden table, it was on a dark blue comforter. She gave up! Do you intent on snapchatting me your whole day?

That’s not my whole day. If it was, there would be a picture of me in the shower ;).

As her cheeks became a deep red color, she resisted the urge to toss her phone away in embarrassment.

“You okay?” Sango inquired with a sly smile.

“I’m g-great.”

The nerve of him! As if, I’ll pass on that.

Really? Because you didn’t seem to mind catching me out of the shower last time. Half naked. Plus this would be waaaay better. I’d actually be fully naked this time.

Oh yes, the water dripping ripped naked chest she had witnessed when she had shown up uninvited. A chest she had not stared at - she had no idea what he was talking about. Yes, he happened to have a nice chest. That did mean she ogled like a desperate teenager. I think you’re mistaken your fantasy for mine. That should shut him up.

Are you offering?

She had not thought that she could get any redder but apparently she was wrong. Even the tip of her nose felt like it was on fire at this very moment. “Pervert,” she mumbled.

Sango threw a glance of confusion her way but Kagome pretended not to see it. What did he even want her to say to this? She was not about to grace his request. She wore a one piece bathing suit to the beach for crying out loud. Se knew what he was trying to do! He was trying to intimidate her! Well she was not about to let him win! Keep it in your pants, mister.

Ding! That was quick. I assure you, it’s a lot more fun when its out of the pants.

Oh-my-god. Alright, he definitively could win. She tossed her phone as far away from her hands as possible, watching it land by her feet. There was something real about him. Perverseness aside, there was a comic side to him that soothed her. He was frank, honest and he certainely did not hide his opinion - which made it a lot easier to trust him. She shook her head; what a dumbass.

Meanwhile, Kouga was lying in his be with a smile plastered over his face. He had not quite expected her to reply to his latest message, but he would hae liked it. After his carefulness with her, she now seemed more open to him and is humor. There was only one problem; it was backfiring on him. He might have found her interesting before but not he was hooked.

-H-

“Who’s that?” Sango explained with rage as she covered her head with her red pillow.

They had been sleeping peacefully when suddenly their rest had been interrupted by the sound of someone banging on the door. Initially, Kagome had feared that she had slept right through her alarm and panic had taken hold of her heart. However, a quick glance at her alarm clock had rapidly slowed down her racing heartbeat. It was only 5:15am. After making that realization, she joined Sango in her feelings of rage. Who the heck was at their door at 5 in the freaking morning? She tried to take a peek at Sango but it was becoming insanely clear that she had no intention of getting out of bed. Unfortunately whoever was at their door also did not seem like he had any intentions of going away. With a sigh, Kagome resigned herself. She threw her light yellow blanket off of her body and put her bare feet against the cold ground. She dragged herself all the way to the door, her eyes half lidded. Once she reached it, she wrapped her small hand around it and yanked it open. What she found on the other side was not at all what she expected: Kouga. He was leaning in the doorway, his blue eyes matching the color of his shirt while he was flashing her a big wide grin.

“Kouga?” she managed to say with a croaked voice.

“Morning sunshine.”

“What the hell are you doing here?”

He had to admit, she was cute in the morning. Her hair was tousled, her white shirt had risen up enough to show some of her stomach and he was not about to complain about the tiny shorts she was wearing. “I came to share the good news.”

Her eyes narrowed. “What could you possibly have to tell me that couldn’t wait until our tutoring session?” He was about to learn that if there was one thing that she was not, it was a morning person. If it were up to her, anything before 10am would not even exist.

“Oh you see, this is very important.” It was hard not to laugh; her scent was unmistakable. She was pissed off and as strange as it was to admit it, it was kind of turning him on. I don’t know if you remember, but we made a deal with week.”

A deal? What in the world was he even talking about…crap. No, no, no. “No you didn’t.”

His smirk grew in size at her reaction. “Yes, I did.” He was already a morning man but he had made a point to get up extra early this morning just so he could come and see her. His teacher usually displayed the grades around 1am.

“Prove it.” It was not like she took him for an idiot or she thought that he could not do it. But - in a week? Nobody went from a D to A.

He figured that she might need something a bit more tangible than his word to believe him and he had come prepared for such an occasion. He reached from behind his back and whipped out a piece of paper.

There it was, staring at her in dark color: 91%. How in the world did he manage to do that?

“Well, now that the deal has been won, I guess I’ll let you sleep.” He pulled down the sheet of paper, a smirk ever present on his face. “After all… my woman needs her sleep.”

Ah crap. So much for playing the tough game.

[49scribes-a]

Starters From Shit Said In Gaming Streams:

Some NSFW and potentially triggering content

“Yeah sometimes those big zombies just don't take the hint and then half their bodies come after me.”

“Stop throwing up zombies. Its unsanitary.”

“Thigh highs fit for any _____.”

“BARREL ROLL.”

“Stop keeping quotes about the shit I say when I'm _________.”

“OH, RAPID FIRE. RAPID FIRE. LOOK AT THAT.”

“...whatever the fuck that shit is.”

*sarcastically* “Oh nooo... an ambush. Like, whatever will I do.”

“Y'know I would've fallen from whatever height that was and I would've gotten up.”

“OYNO. Where is it? KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT.”

“Ew it popped.”

“____lord disapproves.”

“Rocking that [name]licious scarf.”

“SHIT ITS BOY/GIRLFRIEND IS COMING.”

“Oh, shit, that's a lot.”

“Of course half of them had to live.”

“Oh did you die finally? Thanks for the money! Even if you only had ___.”

“You made people suffer enough when you were alive. Can't you, y'know, give it a rest?”

“I'm little red riding hood~”

" 'Just got [name]'d'. WOW. You really gonna go there?”

“Already went there.”

“Okay I'm bored. I'm gonna leave it. I'm gonna leave it alone.”

“Op she's vomitting zombies.”

“Deeeeaaaaaath.”

“[name]licious used Swift! Its super effective!”

“Please stop.”

“Whoa that star kinda freaked out.”

“Pop goes the zombubble.”

“Y'know whenever people say [ran him through with a sword] I think of someone like literally running and PLUNGING their sword through someone.”

“If ur sword-running game ain't as strong as Season 2 Suzaku's y'ain't doin it right.”

“We don't talk about that ending. That still hurts me.”

“OF COURSE WE DO. You know what we REALLY don't talk about?"

“WE DON’T TALK ABOUT _____.”

“The goat people!!! And the trees...”

“We've got demonic goat people, I think some frogs... yep, definitely a frog.”

“This house is on fire but it wasn't me.”

“Ooooo legendary shoulders.”

“Oh great, they explode.”

“Biiiirb. Birb birb birb birb. Caw caw motherclucker. BIIIIIRB.”

“I'm going to name this bird ______, and it will be the best ______.”

“Did you just name that ____ after [name]?”

“[name]licious and [name]. Nice(tm).”

“You could've lived if you just stayed still like a good tree.”

“Swift Game Intensifies.”

“Cat Fight!”

“Long time no dick shot.”

"[NAME] YOU ARE BANNED.”

“Holy shit that was a trip.”

“The sweet sound of projectile evisceration.”

“Anybody alive on this side? Okay good I don't need that kind of drama in my life.”

“I COULDN'T STOP PUNCHING HIM.”

“Story of my life.”

“I love how you got literally blown away.”

“Fuck your _____-- SHIT, FUCK--”

“We forgot to start a swear count.”

“Explode, explode, explode-- yyeeaaaaa.”

“I HATE LIFE WHAT IS THAT HOW DID I MISS”

“RIPPERONI SWISS CHEESE”

“Don't you give me your patronizing pats I don't need them.”

“See if I ever give you sympathy pats again.”

“I'm still keeping quotes just fyi.”

“Fucking gasp.”

“BLOWUP BLOWUP BLOWUP BLOWUP.”

“STOP TAKING QUOTES, [NAME] oh my god--”

“I need to take that guy over there with that freaking shotgun Hell nya.”

“YOINK.”

“Eeeeew he ragdolled...”

“Uuuh what did you guys see-- actually nope no I take it back I don't wanna know I don't wanna know what you guys saw.”

“2 much swear 4 utube.”

“I... read that as [do you know how many brain dead dick heads I've hung in my life] and I was like... since when did you kill people?”

“If I killed people you would know because I wouldn't be able to keep my disgusting disection pictures to my fucking self.”

"[CHECK OUT THIS ORGAN LOOK HOW WEIRD IT IS].”

“I was going to laugh if you pole-vaulted to your doom.”

“Well, no, you can swing across. Me? I'm gonna get fUCKED.”

“HIS LEG WORK.”

“I'M IN ATUAL TEARS.”

“I'm like... expecting something to blow up at this poi-- aaand there it is.”

“I don't know what you're reaching for cuz God ain't gonna help you.”

“Wouldn't it be funny if he hit the window and he just... didn't go through it. Just hit the window with a loud THUNK like a bird hitting glass.”

“That rocket launcher is gonna become my best friend.”

“YOU STILL FUCKING SURVIVED THAT SHIT? YOU TOOK IT TO THE /FACE/.”

“Fuck off, I don't want what you're selling-- I DON'T WANT WHAT YOU'RE SELLING.”

“Fuck your turret gun.”

“Fuck it.”

“YEAA-- NOOOOO.”

“How did that not just shove his nose into his skull?”

“I wouldn't have gotten back up, I would've been down. I would've probably been knocked out or... winded... and crying.”

“Yea fuck you _______ I don't like you either.”

“Her name is _____ lady and _____ lady it shall stay.”

“I can't wait to-- Oh look another fucking _______.”

“MAN, HE TWIRLLLED.”

“When I die, I want to ragdoll.”

“Why ragdoll like an Uncharted NPC when you can ragdoll like a Skyrim character leaping off the top of the Throat of the World on the back of a horse.”

“The music is so nice when you don't pay attention to the destruction around you.”

“I want to glitch through the ground, stretching for miles across the land while twitching enough to unnerve the most bad ass fucker before flipping off into space like a goddamn hyper speed rubber band.”

“You want the weirdest things...”

“But they are simple things.”

“How is her makeup still straight. Eye liner still on point.”

“HEY LOOK ITS YOU-- I'm just kidding.”

“You hurt my feelings, that IS totally me.”

“Worship me and my big blue ball.”

“Oh that werewolf fucker. Fucking closet furry.”

“Manicure my _____ nails.”

“I know, I have to fix your ass because all your shit is where its not supposed to be.”

“WELL ITS NOT FUN IF I MAKE IT EASY.”

“DO U THINK I WANT PEOPLE IN HERE TOUCHING ALL MY SECRET SHIT.”

“I GOT PORN MAGS IN HERE.”

“You know I just kinda realized how weird of a pose that is.”

“Tbh -- its taking a huge shit.”

“For some reason I forgot the water drains and thought the statue's loin cloth lifts to reveal a doorway between its legs.”

“God damn it, tired of your bullshit. Have to keep fixing your stuff. Keep fixing your ______...”

“This isn't a dagger. Its a _____. But I'd still stab someone with it.”

*Opens my chastity belt.*

“You know its actually kinda romantic down here---no its not.”

“I transcended the ban like a boss.”

“YOU'RE STILL BANNED, [NAME].”

“GET VORED BY THE STATUE.”

“WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS.”

“I really hope I get that job so I can buy that shirt that says [_______] I've been wanting.”

“No, the part with the ice caves, before you meet Furry McFuckgoat.”

“While that is a very metal fucking way to die -- it also seems extremely uncomfortable.”

“I was surprised there wasn't anything supernatural... or weird. I mean besides the exploding mummies.”

“WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THOSE GOLEM POSERS.”

“What a dick! Making me throw that grenade without meaning to!”

“You know I just shot him... a clip full... in the dick. I didn't mean to but... it happened.” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

“Have a grenade.”

“Yeah you're not allowed up here. You have a ______. We don't serve your kind here.”

“New user -- who dis”

“I might regret this decision later.”

“[Name], please, stop playing peek-a-boo.”

“That dead guy just... waves goodbye as he ragdolls.”

“I HAVE REGRETS.”

“You know what, just as well. I have regrets. I didn't mean to throw that grenade.”

“PANICKING. PANICKING.”

“THINK YOU'RE FUCKING FANCY WITH YOUR ROLLING?”

“Okay that guy was defying gravity for a while there, that was kinda weird.”

“YOU'RE NOT FANCY-- Oh my god he twirled.”

“I FOUND WHAT I WANT.” *runs*

“REGRETS. Aaaah, regrets. A lot of regrets.”

“That death twitch... as seen on Twitch TV.”

“Little man, compensating much.”

“Right in the Shnoz.”

“ZIG ZAG, ZIG ZAG.”

“I DON'T THINK ZIG ZAG WORKS WITH MILITARY RPGS.”

“Make-up still on point. Hair still flawless.”

“LAMINATE YOUR FUCKING MAP. ITS RAINING. IS THAT MAP EVEN RELIABLE AT THIS POINT.”

“Where would you laminate a map in ______? What do you think there's a Kinkos around the corner?

“GOD IDK, BUT PUT IT IN SOMETHING MORE WATERPROOF THAN YOUR ASS POCKET.”

“Oh man that is the best twirl I have ever seen.”

“Fab. He practiced.”

“I just had to process Impressed because I heard it as Imp Breasts.”

“Drama queen. Fucking clutching his chest to die. Just ragdoll like everyone else.”

“Hey, what has more brains than the gunmen right now? The wall behind them.”

"[that didn't attract too much attention] YOU RAN A TRAIN THROUGH A BUILDING.”

“I am just a soggy man.”

“I have water logged fingers.”

“Yeah. YEAH. I forgot about these actually. Ah... ha ha... I forgot about these...” *cries*

“Her tits are always bigger from the side. The fuck is with that. They never the same size either. Watch. Watch them titties grow.”

“All Aboard the Pain Train.”

“Push your ass off the train-- BYE.”

“REALLY. YOU-- who has the strength of a shit ton of fucking monkeys... can't kick that through?”

“My heart just did A Thing at being called [they].”

“I never actually see the scenery on this train because I'm always dying.”

“BANE OF MY EXISTENCE RIGHT HERE. Guess my streak of Not Dying is gonna end right here.”

“AAH I ALMOST DIED-- I almost died there too.”

“SPLAT.”

“Railroaded.”

“Oh, I'm gonna have to fight a big guy. I really-- please don't make me fight a big guy.”

“Damn he thicc.”

“Here, its a present~” *throws a grenade*

“I think they want a receipt for their present so they can return it.”

“Bye-- I think that was a dick shot.”

“I love the sound of glass breaking.”

“I missed...” *tsk* “That's a problem.”

“Hey. For stress relief, fling yourself. Right there. To the left.”

“LAAAAAAAAUNCH.”

“Just fucking launch into oblivion for stress relief.”

“I just ate someone else’s half eaten burger like the trash goblin I am.”

“I am both mildly disgusted with myself and yet satisfied because it was a good burger.”

“Oblivion is to the left. Just launch into it. Embrace it. Fly like the majestic fucking eagle you are.”

*singing* “Life... hates me. I hate life.”

“Did he just die crab walking.”

“Died doing what he loved. Being a crab. Snip snap.”

“Am I the only one here who sees perfect opportunities to fling myself off a cliff and actually does it?”

*whimpers* “WELLIguessitwasallfornothingbecausenowIhavetodiebecausethisasshole--”

“That's the sound of when you get your ass shredded.”

“Good lord--”

“Shredded Wheat [name]s.”

“I hope if I ever die by gun, its to one of those. I wanna look and feel like swiss cheese.”

“You gonna one-punch fuck me like jason borne?”

“ONE PAAAUUUUUUUUNCH.”

“FUCK I got stuck in the wall...”

“HOW THICK THAT DUDES ARMS ARE.”

“STAY AWAY FROM ME I was trying to get away from you.”

“That cat is looking at me like [Why are you yelling so much?]”

“Man you eat more bullets than dogs in Resident Evil.”

“Fuck my life, Terminator.”

“That's not his liver...”

“That's totally his liver.”

“Well that's what you get for not paying for your train ticket.”

“Train stops here.”

“Guess they got... sidetracked.”

“You could say he's got a one-track mind.”

“You could say its been derailed.”

“I don't think this is the best train of thought for this situation.”

"I think I can, I think I can...”

“YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE, SNEAKING UP ON ME LIKE THAT.”

“I hope I took them out wiTH MY DEATH.”

“Fucking gave him a sliding icy nut shot.”

“Packed some powder onto those donut holes.”

“I didn't say I was coming naked to this place.”

“Just barrel roll over a fucking corpse it coo'l.”

“Where do these fuckers get grenades at like... they need to shove their grenades up their ass.”

“I don't know what the fuck you think you saw but it wasn't me.”

*Hands you voreos*

“Get out of here with your voreos.”

[kahliethefangirl]

Hedda Pt. 2

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3.

Hedda Pt. 2 -The fox and the queen.

Pairing: Ivar x OFC Rating for chapter: T Warnings: Small amount of violence and strong language. Note: I have absolutely no life. Reminder of that my English could be a thousand times better so I’m sorry for simple language and mistakes. Wanna get a tag? Please tell. FYI I imagine this being like between Ragnar went off and coming back. I dunno I will probably make som shit up along the way but I guess I like the idea of many of them still being alive. *sob*

Chapter 2. - The fox and the Queen. Two days. Two days of waking up, washing off quickly before being sent off to be interrogated by the queen.

Then eat, hiding away from whoever visited the great hall and then endure supper with the queen's family just to hide in bed until next morning.

Two days isn't that much. Two days is absolutely nothing yet I can't help but to feel it's been more like two weeks.

I'm not told to hide away. Aslaug have tried finding out things I like to do and offered me to spend time with her. But I don't.

I chose to hide away from her prying eyes and questions the same each day.

I listen to the howling winds and the brave birds defying the cold when the sun had honored us with its  presence this morning.

"He is out the stables with the others." Aslaug said when I stood before her beside the hearth, asking about the horse who had carried me here.

"Can I see him?" I don't know the horse yet there's a little part in me that hopes the horse may know me. He must truly be faithful carrying me here through the storms.

Aslaug's golden eyebrows rise when she's utterly surprised I ask for something that is not to be left alone.

"I don't see why not, I guess he is still yours." She shrugs, nodding for Ida to come closer where she was stuffed away in a corner.

She hadn't been here yesterday so I was happy when it was her helping me get dressed this morning.

"Thank you." I try a smile, tasting the imply that the horse may not be mine. Who's horse would it be if not mine in this place?

"Show Hedda to the stables and her horse. Dress properly, we don't want our guest to get sick, now do we?" She smiles sly like the female fox she reminds me so much of.

I owe her yet I have the constant need looking over my shoulder whenever she isn't right in front of me.

"Oh and Hedda!" The queen calls when I follow Ida to get dressed for the deep snow outside. "There's a gathering tonight, it would be a pleasure to have you out here with us." She sips the mead filling the room with sweet honey and clenching my jaws I nod. It wasn't a question.

With the cloak and the furs tightly around me I follow Ida through the paths in the snow and I'm surprised to see so many people outside.

The sun is hurting my eyes when its light reflects in the snow and I hide inside the hood of the cloak as much as possible to escape it: that end possible curious eyes.

My breath turns to mist in front of me and I listen to the crunch of frosty snow, shouting people and the waves breaking in the distance; the fjord never asleep.

"He's in here. I will have to go back but you find your way now, yes?" Ida stops outside a low building; the rich and warm smell of horse so evident in the crisp air a smile plays over my lips.

"Yes, thank you." I let her pass me before entering the dark house; the smell of warm life stronger inside.

I stop inside the door to let my eyes adjust to the loss of daylight and then I start to scan the row of horses along one wall.

I remember him briefly but only through dreams of when I came here.

"Black like night." I mumble for myself when I walk past the slumbering horses; tired by standing inside all day and the sound of hay chewed slowly could probably put myself to sleep if I just let it.

Then I see him, lifting his massive head when hearing me approach and the black, wise eyes leaves no doubt that this is the animal that took me here.

"Hello." The pink and soft skin of his muzzle tickles the palm of my hand when offering it to him.

The large and heavy hooves stomps the floor when I run my hand along the muscular neck and I'm pleased to see he's groomed and fed.

"Do you remember me?" I coo, scratching his forehead softly and a low humming sound is heard. "I'm sorry I don't remember you." I tell him.

I lean my forehead against his neck where I keep up the scratching and softly he nudges my shoulder.

"Does he answer your questions?" The sudden addition of voice have me jump and the black horse whips with his head where I must've startled him.

Turning I can see Hvitserk, the queens son and as if touching something that wasn't mine I hide my hands under the fur covered cloak.

"No. No he doesn't." I gulp, looking to the animal tending to the hay when realizing there was nothing to be afraid of.

"A good horse. Must've belonged to someone important." Walking up to us he pats the broad back of the animal and I back away until I can feel the wall brushing the clothes on my body.

"Perhaps I was important." My words come out a bit harder than intended but I don't enjoy the fact that they take for granted I was no one.

"Perhaps." He smiles as if my remark was just a joke and I chew the inside of my cheek.

"He likes you. He's been cranky with most people I've heard." He pats the horse again and I stare to the animal not showing any tendency to be cranky at all. Then I grin.

"Perhaps they weren't important enough?" He laughs at that, nodding in approval.

"May be. It must be your horse. Black like a raven and don't liking people interfering too much." A knowing glance is offered me and I huff; feeling a little brave when I allow myself to shrug.

"Do you? Do you like people prying and interfering?" I ask in a soft bite and the young man sighs before attempting to leave.

"I'm not a stranger here who came under odd circumstances. I don't think anyone tries to bother you. But truly you must wonder yourself if you don't remember." He walks away before finishing talking and I stare after him where he grabs a rope and aims for the door.

He's right I guess. I do wonder and so must the people around me do as well. I can't blame them for being curious and even suspicious.

"But it would be nice not to be asked questions at any given chance." I whisper to the horse before giving him a firm pat on the neck.

"Arkan. That's what I will call you until I remember your name, if you were even mine to name." I leave with that, the horse offering me no memories.

_______

The flower grows so quickly, like time was running away from something and the snow around it pulls back as if it had been hot fire.

Swords flying upright, no hands around the leather of their handles switching places in the middle of the air.

I'm on my back in the mud, a strange sensation of intense pleasure running through me like a river but I'm aware of the spilled blood in the mud being swirled around by my fingers.

A man, hair white like snow and the furs around him turning him into a wolf with jaws snapping at me. The blood from his yellow teeth dripping down my pleasured body in the cold mix of mud and blood.

A fox running by in the forests, telling me all I need to know in a tongue I don't remember. A raven flying with the former color of my blind eye in his beak.

"Hedda, wake up!" A fierce shake and I sit straight up with sweat running from my hairline and it stings my eyes. "Please, are you alright?"

Ida's pale eyes scans me worriedly and with a heaving chest I can feel my mind slowly lower itself from the dream and land inside my body awake in the bed.

"I had a dream." I whisper, running a hand through my hair and when my lips try to find some moist to wet my throat with Ida hands me a cup of water. "Thank you."

"Ida, leave us." The sudden appearance of Aslaug in the doorway have us both jump in our seats and I groan where some of the water spills on my chest.

"Yes." Ida stands, bowing her head obediently before rushing through the door, passing the queen dressed in such an amazing dress I for a second forget how to do anything but staring.

"You've been dreaming again, child." She says calmly before walking over and she sits on the edge of the bed, taking the cup from my shaking hands and puts it aside.

I frown, causing a soft smile to play on her lips and the spirit of a caring mother surrounds me.

"I have been too." She adds, bending forward so she can look into my eyes, being tall and majestic before me.

Her hair glimmers in the soft light from the candles in the room and the scent from sweet oils is pouring out from her exquisite clothes.

"Don't we all dream?" I blurt out when looking down to my restless fingers on top of the blankets covering the lower part of my body and I try to get the feeling of missing something, away.

"Not like we do. That is something not everyone do." She explains as if I would understand and I tilt my head to the side, trying to find the hidden meaning in her words playfully beating around the bush.

"What do you mean?" I'm not sure I want the answer, my entire being vibrating with unease and suspicion.

"You have seen child. You have seen what is to come. I have too." Her smile vanishes and her eyes are filled with sympathy instead.

My brows lower themselves where I slowly shake my head, huffing in an attempt to get the sudden and unexplainable fear to leave me alone.

I am to tell her she have no idea of what I've been dreaming, but her words cuts me off like a hot blade.

"The pleasure, the raven with your past and the man a wolf. I have seen it and I have seen it before you came here. So have you." She stands up, her hands running along the soft material of her dress before she walks over to the chest before empty. Now something is neatly put on top of it.

"But how-" I stop myself. She's been dreaming the same dream? That is the only explanation I find for her to know about the raven and the man. "What does it mean then?"

She turns, the blue fabric on the chest now hanging over her arm as she walks back to me.

For a second she seem to think about it herself before with a sigh she extends her free hand for me to take.

"I truly don't know child. But we will understand more when spring comes and perhaps some if you remember." I take her hand, allowing her to help me out of the bed.

When spring comes. The flower, was that the spring?

I keep on thinking about her words when she helps me change to the blue and simple but to me much beautiful dress.

Sitting down I constantly prepare myself for asking her questions when she braids my hair but stopping myself every time I think I know how to ask; realizing I don't.

If she knew I dreamt like she did, perhaps that is why she has been so keen to keep me close and attend me so much herself. Perhaps she was waiting for me to tell her.

But I didn't knew I had these dreams and I'm not sure how she knows. But for some reason I simply trust her, knowing just a little deep back in my mind about these things.

______

There was indeed a gathering of both important people and them of lesser importance. However with the ale, mead and seasoned stag roasting over the fire everyone were equal when laughing and talking.

Sometimes there was shouts in the wake of a brawl but all were taken outside in the snow or stopped entirely.

I have had the fear of being center of attention but the great number of souls in the hall made me very uninteresting for them not close enough to see my eye or remembering the talked about presence of the mysterious girl I apparently was.

I look around the hall, sipping my ale and for the first time I actually feel a bit at ease and even though I don't remember anything a feeling of things being just the way they should, rolls inside of me like a soft wave on the lake.

Their faces had been red from the cold when coming and now they were red from vigorous drinking. I could even feel my own face pick up in temperature.

"Thank you." I smile to Margrethe filling my cup once more before she sways off to fill others. I notice Hvitserk's eyes upon her as she passes him and I've noticed the oldest of the four brothers doing the same. How is that working out for them?

"I'm pleased to see the dress matching your eyes." The queen suddenly speaks up above me and I look behind my shoulder to where she's situated in one of the great chairs dressed in soft furs.

Even though I felt enough invisible amongst the people I hade made sure to place myself near the queen. I hadn't moved around more than necessarily in fear of losing my spot.

For some reason our earlier talk pulled me closer to her. However she would always be remembered as the fox queen by me.

"It is a most generous gift." I smile, nodding grateful before someone pushes my legs to the side and when looking down to my feet I can see her youngest son crawl his way forward, lifting himself up beside me.

He sits down with a sigh before grinning; his blue eyes darting between me and his mother.

"Her eye mother, she only has color in one." He corrects her mercilessly and my jaws clench where I straighten up in my seat.

"Ivar, please." Aslaug rolls her eyes motherly but her voice laced with such soft love I doubt she even knew how hurtful he could be.

"At least it matches that one." I glare at him but he only laughs amused and I look away.

It had only taken me two days to realize just how obnoxious this one could be. Always coming with snide and mean remarks about everything and everyone whenever given the chance.

He was quick to tantrums and blooming anger that spread through the entire building like a wildfire whenever defied or spoken against.

Yet; there was this little sprout of belonging whenever he was close to me. Whenever he sat beside me making fun of me or not, it always felt as if this was the most natural place to be.

I try hardly to deny that sensation is never close whenever i sit beside his brothers or others.

"It is a shame there is so many not able to come because of the snow. We use to be many more than this, Hedda." Aslaug informs me as if to pull me from the annoyance I dwell in because of her son.

I smile towards her, avoiding the snarling grin of Ivar where he trace his lower lip with the tip of his tongue.

"Oh I am not so sure it is the snow, mother. Perhaps they are too afraid of one-eye here to come." He tilts his head to the side, smiling challengingly.

"What am I to fear?" I huff before answering his smile with an equal challenging one where I hide my face behind my cup.

"Or do you fear me, Ivar?" The ale makes me stupid I know but it felt good to punch him back with my words. However it just seem to fuel his fire so needy to pick a fight.

"They do not fear you and I am sure it is the snow keeping them at home." The queen is skillfully ignored by both me and Ivar where we stare each other down; but I am taken aback slightly where he leans closer so that his breath fans the side of my face. The blush I had before escalates to the point my hairline burns.

"Some say it is because your eye look like the seers. They say you know things that is not for a girl like you to know." He whispers just loud enough for me to hear over the loud people around us. I gulp at the naive theory of who and what I might be.

"If that is what my eye meant I most likely would know who I am, no?" I snort before drinking again; the ale doing nothing to cool me down.

I look back to the queen looking at us with a smile of knowledge, as if she knew something that was still hidden from me.

"But do you know what I think that ugly little eye of yours means, hm?" I can hear how he rolls his wicked tongue in his mouth and with a blank face I stare at him with a sigh.

"No Ivar but please do tell." I try to look as bored as possible. He snickers proudly as if I walked straight into a trap.

"I think you are simply running away from something you didn't want. Your eye has the color of a mans seed so perhaps you were just a simple little whore, taking too much of it until it filled that little head of yours." I can feel his one finger poking my head so hard it moves.

"But coming here won't change that. That is what I think. The only difference here would be the men you bed." His voice so condescending and mocking his words takes my breath away.

The sudden anger shooting through me tingles the tips of my fingers and with a snarl deep back in my throat I turn my upper body to face him at the same time as I send the back of my hand flying over his cheek.

With a smacking sound pain stings my skin and his head flies to the side. The entire hall slowly growing silent when word of it spread quickly like a squirrel.

I breath heavily where I stare to my hurting hand and then Ivar, sitting with a gaping mouth like a dead fish; only his chest heaving like mine.

What did I do? Hitting someone because of a stupid insult born out of what must be nothing but low self esteem is below my idea of myself. And hitting Ivar..

Then someone opened the doors to Hel and released all the said terrors.

He threw his body at me, knocking me off my seat so easily and my ale spills over us where my body crash to the floor, crushed by the weight of him following.

"Stop!" I wail, hitting and clawing at him for dear life. But it's just like trying to fight a unmovable mountain and I gag and fight for air when his one hand shape around my throat.

"Little vixen should know her place. You are nothing here!" He screams to my face, saliva staining my skin but all I can focus on is the booming pulse in my head where air is more and more needed.

"I-Ivar." I choke out his name but to no avail. My hands grabbing his shoulders desperately.

"You're a simple whore. Don't think you can come here acting like a princess." He snarls to my ear the second before his hand disappears and air pushes its way through my throat.

With a gasp I roll over, spitting and coughing when my lungs try to adjust once again.

People are holding Ivar who soon breaks free and crawls off and a pair of strong hands helps me sit up.

"Are you alright?" I recognize Sigurd's voice and all I can do is nod, ignoring the salty tears leaving my eyes.

I stare to where Ivar had gone but there's now just a wall of curious people.

I don't know what I had done to make him so eager to insult me to the point I lost my own temper. And I don't know why it hurt so much.

Looking up to Aslaug she just stares at me with a blank face; free from sympathy, anger and any other feeling I know about. Yet she is not surprised and before standing up she silently mouths "fox" for only my eye to see.

[septic-heart-and-mind]

Based On a Dream

Just another JSE fic thing I wrote based on a dream I had last night... It’s not exactly what happened because I wanted to be creative and because I can’t remember it precisely, but it’s kinda right :p the place is kinda weird but I just kept it true to what I remember from the dream so don’t worry too much about that XD anyways hope you like it ^-^

Fyi it’s pretty sad and tw suicide/depression 

I ran down countless flights of stairs, wanting to get as far away as possible. I hurried through a deserted corridor, thinking about how I would end everything and how much I hated myself. Even though I didn’t know where it would lead, I saw a door ahead of me and continued towards it. But just as I was about to go through, it registered in my brain that my tearful eyes had just spotted someone - and they looked familiar. I took myself backwards and realised I hadn’t just been seeing things; there was someone resting on top of the wall by the window. He really looked like someone but I couldn’t believe my eyes.

“Jack?” I said in disbelief. His eyes opened and he sat up straight; he smiled gently as he saw me. As his eyes met mine, I could feel relief surge through my body. “What are you doing here?” I asked him in utter surprise, still feeling like this was surreal.

“I was looking for you,” he answered as he clambered down carefully.

“You were looking for me?” I echoed, pleasantly taken aback. “Why?” I added.

“I heard you went missing,” he began, “and that you were suicidal. I just had to search for you and save you.” I already had tears in my eyes, but now I started crying much harder. I sobbed. Jack’s already caring eyes filled with sympathy. “C’mere,” he said softly, holding out his arms. I hugged him so tightly that I was worried it would hurt him - but he seemed perfectly content as he embraced me. I sobbed my heart out as I released all my pain, despite feeling like I’d just found home. “Aww, it’s alright. It’s alright,” he comforted me, “Shhh.”

“I just want to die!” I wept loudly.

“No, no, I don’t want that,” he responded affectionately.

“Why does he hate me?” I sobbed despairingly.

“Who?” Jack asked with concern, looking into my heartbroken eyes.

“My dad…” I cried, “He doesn’t care about me at all…” Jack looked saddened as I told him. “Even when I told him I want to die he doesn’t care,” I continued, gasping.

“Oh, Laura,” he sighed solemnly. As I sobbed again, he took me back in his arms. I held onto him terribly tightly again. “I’m here now,” he reassured me, gently rubbing my back as he hugged me.

“You should hate me, too,” I wept.

“I’d never hate you,” he replied caringly. I couldn’t respond; I just sobbed and sobbed. I was crying so much that my legs were weakening beneath me. Jack helped sit me down on the floor, my back against the wall; he sat beside me and cuddled me again. He shushed me almost like I was a baby, and I listened to his heartbeat as my head rested on his chest. Although I was still choked up, I slowly began to calm down. He very slightly rocked me, which soothed me even more. Slowly but surely, my sobs got quieter and quieter, although the tears continued to run down my cheeks.

“Why do you care, Jack?” I cried softly.

“I care about you as much as you should care about yourself,” he answered kindly. “You’re beautiful and unique. And you’re so talented. I’ve heard your music, it’s amazing. The world would miss out without it.” I snuggled into him a little more, my tears beginning to turn into ones of happiness.

“So why doesn’t he care then?” I questioned, my happiness dwindling again.

“I’ve no idea,” he replied sadly, “I dunno how anyone could not care about you.”

“The same way I don’t,” I answered tearfully, “I’m useless… I’m nothing…”

“No you’re not,” he sweetly disputed.

“I am,” I disagreed. “You shouldn’t care about me!” I cried loudly as I pushed him off with my verbal accentuation. I regretted doing that to him, but I didn’t deserve his kindness. I didn’t deserve to be held and cared for like that. “I’m gonna make the world better right now, it doesn’t need me! No-one needs me!” I wept desolately as I rose to my feet. I turned and barely run two steps.

“No!” he cried out as he grabbed me in desperation. I tried to fight him off but he didn’t give up. I cried harder and harder as I tried to get away, whilst realising how much this was hurting him and hating myself even more for it. But I became too tired to fight anymore and Jack eventually pulled me into his arms, holding me tightly. I stopped battling against him and threw my arms around him too, sobbing. “It’s alright, I’ve got you,” he comforted me, gently placing his hand on my head. “I’m here.” I just continued to cry and cry. If tears could make my dad love me, he would actually treat me like I was his daughter. “Please stay with me,” Jack said, his voice slightly wobbling. I thought about it for a moment, and then nodded tearfully. He sighed with relief and rubbed my back gently again. “I’m proud of you.” He held me for a while longer, and I my sobs started to ease. But as he let me go, I heard someone burst through the door behind us.

“Found you,” my dad stated. “You haven’t done it yet, then.”

“What do you care?!” I wept.

“I knew you were just being dramatic,” he replied coldly.

“I was not!” I screamed tearfully. “I only didn’t do it because of Jack!”

“She told me all about you,” Jack explained. “I think I care about her more than you do.”

“Whatever,” he answered uncaringly, before looking at me. “Kill yourself, don’t kill yourself. I don’t care. You’re dead to me either way.” As I sobbed, he sighed and rolled his eyes. “Pathetic,” he muttered, before leaving. I looked through my tears at Jack, whose eyes were filled with empathy and sadness.

“If he doesn’t want you, you can come with me,” he said, “You’re not alone.” He hugged me close until I’d calmed down significantly again. He grabbed the blanket he was using before, and took me through to the car park. He opened one of the cars and he put the blanket around me before I got in the back. Jack then got in the front passenger seat and took his phone out. There was a pause. “Hello?” he began. “Hey, Felix. I found her.” Pause. “Yeah, I knew one of us would eventually. Anyway, we’re in your car right now.” Pause. “Alright, see you in a bit. Bye.” Jack turned round to check on me. “It’s gonna be alright,” he reassured me. I was very quickly becoming exhausted and my eyes were growing heavy. “Don’t fight it,” Jack said softly. Even though I was still crying, it wasn’t long before I found myself falling asleep.

p.s. remember that this is fictional; I haven’t been suicidal for years and my dad and I have a good relationship because he’s nothing like that - just in case any of you were worried <3 no idea why my brain made me dream it XD

[the-roses-claimed-me]

https://itssofluffy-im-gonna-die.tumblr.com/

^^^^^^^^^^^^ this is the tumblr who posted (I am pretty sure).

I am sorry I didn't reblog I just couldn't keep seeing the image attached

‎”THROUGH A RAPIST’S EYES” (PLS TAKE TIME TO READ THIS. it may save a life.) Reblog this!

It seems that alot of attackers use some tactic to get away with violence. Not many people know how to take care of themselves when faced with such a situation. Everyone should read this especially each n every girl in this world. THOUGHT THIS WAS GOOD INFO TO PASS ALONG… FYI - Through a rapist’s eyes! A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts: 1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid, or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets. 2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who’s clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing. 3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered. 4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots. 5] Number two is office parking lots/garages. 6] Number three is public restrooms. 7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don’t have to worry about getting caught. 8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming. 9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas,or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands. 10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you’re not worth it. ———————————————————————————————————————————- POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER: 1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: can’t believe it is so cold out here, we’re in for a bad winter. Now that you’ve seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.

2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would  not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target. 3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent. 4] If someone grabs you, you can’t beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh - HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts. 5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy’s parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he’s out of there. 6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly. 7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel little silly at the time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was trouble. ——————————————————————————————————————————- FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL …. I know you are smart enough to know these pointers but there will be some, where you will go “hmm I must remember that” After reading forward it to someone you care about, never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in. 1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it. 2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you…. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION! 3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives. 4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON’T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage: a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB) . b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars. c. Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot). 7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN! 8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it’s better safe than sorry. If u have a heart or compassion reblog this post. ‘Helping hands are better than Praying Lips’ – give us your helping hand.

REBLOG THIS AND LET EVERY GIRL KNOW ATLEAST PEOPLES WILL KNOW WATS GOIN IN THIS WORLD. So please reblog this….Your one reblog can Help to spread this information. I hope you all will Reblog. Lets See how many of you really care for this.

[mceproductions]

October 2018 Blurbs

10/1/18 31 Nights of Halloween, Freeforms inheritence from its previous incarnations, other than the mandated 700 Club. The month between seasons, otherwise known as candy city. Stockholm Syndrome from Willies departure may be setting in as we had a large truck and only 4 of us to do it. I shouldnt be missing his prescence but somehow i am. Remedy is needed soon. 10/2/18 Im A Christmas Guy, love giving gifts out and decorating. Have done so annually for 16 years and it always starts within the first few days of October as i unblock my Holiday themed movie and TV Shows on digital. Looking forward to the next few weeks especially. Brewers NLDS starts Thursday! 10/3/18 The old tutalige of when it rains it pours, reared its ugly head. Flat by Old El Rancho. That really screws things up for me. Hoping for Miracle. 10/4/18 Well, day minus the Brewers coming back, was a bust. Tire was flat. Hoping I can get it either possibly fixed or a cheap replacement. Wondering how ill get to the store tomorrow. 10/5/18 Apparently massive flu spreading around as Mom picked up whatever Dad was sick with. Ended up replacing tire, but with brand new one. Hopeful not mistake. Also affected things at WallyWorld as Linda and Tyler were feeling cruddy. Hopeful I dont get it. Brewers win and truck got fixed. Still undecided on Venom or Gaga for movie on Saturday. 10/6/18 Ended up going with Gaga and was pleasently stunned by both her and Bradley Cooper. Movie was wonderful and that ending was rough, picked up soundtrack to boot. Sort of took longer than I anticipated coming back from EC thanks to BlueGolds Homecoming. Boy colleges take that far more seriously than High School. Panera for dinner was a great alternative as well. 13th Doctor tomorrow before work! FLCL on the other hand...I'll never say the C word to anyone, but Pets was definetly the C Word to Kana. 10/7/18 Man that was emberassing to watch. Green Bay actually played so lousy I watched Doctor Who, and loved the female 13th looking forward to more of her. Final Season of Walking dead also premired. Wonder how Ricks going out. Gunner and his partner are really intolerable. Reporting that asap, the store is not a place for thier private spats. 10/8/18 Columbus getting squeezed out of his own day is the most PC thing that I can get on board with. Nobody gives a crap about the whole Sailed the ocean blue in 1492 thing anymore. Stuff to do including assignments that I have to go to the library to finish. Hoping internet will be back sooner rather than later. 10/9/18 Woke up to flashing lights by house and realized power line got taken down by tree that Dad had pointed out. A bit more broke than I anticipated. Stuff here i have to do anyway and thankfully work will limit my having to go anywhere. Really could use $300 to pay Patti. Brewers will take on Dodgers in NLCS starting Friday. Mad that Conan for all intent and purpose has been cancelled, adpating is one thing but this is a glorified cancellation. 10/10/18 Rain city continues...Puddles in Bravada. On top of it its getting colder. Winter isnt here yet, but the white ravens are taking flight. 10/11/18 Now comes the cold, and first snow of the year. We had it all today cold, wind, sun and snow. 10/12/18 Store gave me a first look at my future. Gaurantee work on Sunday Monday and Friday every week unless i say so. Which other than one day may be saying much. Could use more variety than that. Also stinks NLCS is on when im working. Pulling for Dodgers in at least 1 game so I can see game 5 on wednesday at least. 10/13/18 They have been hyping the crap out of inventory for the past 3 weeks. Now i see why, Clint made a rare Saturday appearance at the store. Hopeful for the next few days. Got my prediction right about game 5 on Wednesday so thats good. Kanye is nuts as usual, and Kana gave me the best reason yet to finally move forward on the FLCL finale. Cold week ahead. 10/14/18 Andrew and his little notes are getting out of hand. Got called in to do truck early as Inventory closes in on Tuesday. Clint on the other hand, i know ive got to not walk off for a few seconds but he really needs to chill for a bit especially cause we both used to be pushing carts in the first months of the store he should know my rhtyms by now. Stinks about Pete Davidson though, really hope he can recover cause i liked him and Ariana as a couple. Rather unfortunate that they split cause she couldnt deal with her ex commiting suicide. 10/15/18 A missing person is a big deal, when you happen to know someone who is related to said missing person, then you know its huge. Jayme Closs, the cousin of Brody being abducted after her parents were gunned down, sad for all. My only issue is brody reatcing to everyones sympathies, overkill a bit. The other issue i have is the amber alert system that can be sent out to phones. With Trumps ability to text everyone in the country I witnessed a bunch of people who got the alert yesterday complain about it, the others who thought she killed them and fled are the bigger morons. Hopefully shes found safe. Other than that, good night for Wisconsin Sports, Brewers are 2 Out from pennant and Rodgers did his thing once again. 10/16/18 Boring first part of shift as we did basically nothing due to the inventory. But at least the night managed to salvage itself. Dodgers really play dirty. 10/17/18 Nose began to stuff itself again. Bunch of classwork for 2 weeks as i get the inservice day. Milwaukee gave another one away. Hoping Game 6 on Friday will be a turnaround. 10/18/18 Rare thursday day, nose still stuffed. 10/19/18 Library day as i caught up on work, and finally watched A Chrsitmas Story to its ending. A classic, yes just don't feel that strongly about it. Big game from the Crew forcing Game 7. 10/20/18 This day was nuts, a quick 25 minute snowcase that gave way to sunny conditions by noon. Saw Venom, didn't get why it was hated. Quite enjoyable dyanmic and She-Venom was the highlight of it all. Dodgers unfortuantley took the pennant. Great season overall for Milwaukee just bummed my streak of picking the world series winner at the All Star game ended at 4. Also tide pods finally used them, no wonder people ate them they're great for clothes. 10/21/18 First day ever that i skipped NFL Games. Neat concept. 10/22/18 Very long strech of store coming up, especially given that Today we only had 3 total. 10/23/18 Held off on grabbing Mamma Mia 2 Blu Ray. Mainly due to gas situation that had Bravada dying near tracks. I got to figure cash situation out to pay off people. 10/24/18 Lone day off before Halloween. No class today so that made things better. Master Mode on Zelda getting easier to figure out. Did reset on iPhone and Kindle, should fix lone bugs. Really want to play RDR2 and Spiderman PS4. World Series from what I can tell is shaping up as a sweep. Also, whole reason I began watching Sunny aired tonight. First of 2 Part Super Bowl Episode. Charlie in a Bear Trap drinking pee, eww! 10/25/18 First of 6 in a row backwise. The Halloween episodes on TV Usually do wonders for me, not this time. I know this is the final season of Big Bang Theory but Sheldon not realizing how irritating he sounds to others after 12 years and so much maturing seems not the right way to do it. Especially seeing his wife irrate Bernadette. 10/26/18 2nd night, the wheels i dont think feel off, but the were more loose than usual. Hour to set up, hour work, break, 30 minutes to unload hvdc and then didn't finish til after 6. When your down numbers wise you can certainly feel it. FYI The crap with the MAGA Bomber made me mad enough to likely stay off social media until after the election, that made it my breaking point. RWBY Season Premire Tomorrow! 10/27/18 Rooster Teeth First free trial, worth it for watching a great primire that perfectly sets up what comes. My point who is that woman with the Maz Kanata eyewear? Wisconsin stinks. 10/28/18 My issue with the whole core hours thing involves me working on days i know theres something i should be doing. Such as watching the packers. Almost beating LA, hopeful they can actually do that against Brady. 10/29/18 That blue wave better close in next week cause, another shooting and another predictable Trump response occurred. Hate crimes abound in his america. 10/30/18 Last in the back, October really came and went this year. Only thing bad about not working Halloween is the dressup im missing out on. Adam in drag would have been a hoot. 10/31/18 Darkness Falls Across the Land...You Know the rest. Halloween. This day is one back 20 Years ago i would openly love. At least the Candy is still around, albiet smaller and more sugary. Nowadays this day has me DVR'ing all the major shows to see what costumes get put on. Spoiler Alert only episodes of ATH And PTI that I happily record all year. When it comes to applying for scholarships however thats where it blurrs. WITC is really biased against those in the outreach sites hoping i can get help tomorrow when i visit. November came too quickly but, I get to see my nephew in 2 Weeks!