#NOT pro ana I am very much fighting these thoughts please do not encourage this and if you know me irl please stop commenting on my weight

[snarlingteeth]

Forgot how addictive it is

To be told I am small

Wrap your hand around my wrist

Your arms around my waist

“You’re tiny”

I know

Keep saying it

[fight-it]

Why are pro-ana blogs and sites bad, even if they claim they’re just a “safe space”

Today is my B-day and I woke up feeling horrible about myself, especially my body. So I was thinking - why do I feel this way? And my thoughts brought me to the very begining of all of my eating disorders and struggles.

Yes, it all started online.  I remember that fall evening very clearly. I found and watched the movie Starving in Suburbia - now don’t get me wrong, the movie itself is very good and doesn’t glorify disordered behaviours at all - but pro-ed people do. What caught my attention was the pro-ana chat group the movie showed. So my curious butt wanted to find something like that. And guess what, found. 

So I joined the chat. I wasn’t here with intention to lose weight, I just wanted to see. To see if people like that are really out there, encouraging themselves in self-destruction. 

Unfortunately for me, the people there were... nice to me. Or at least they acted it. It didn’t take long to persuade me to “join”. To be thin. To be beautiful. To be fighting with them.  

Now, do you see how these “safe groups” are dangerous as hell? One stupid chat brought me to living nightmare. 

Of course then I joined tumblr. Some of my long-time followers may remember my blog before recovery. Yes, I was “pro-ana” blog (claiming that “this is my safe place”) and I am very ashamed of that and really sorry. 

Other pro-ana blogs were constantly triggering me, but the idea of me being a trigger never actually crossed my mind. Not until I decided to recover and realized how much damage I could have done. So I decided to change my content and delete all the sick stuff. 

I am not shaming any “pro-ana” bloggers, because I know where you are coming from. But I know that a lot of you are following me. And I want you to think. Think about your “safe place”. Is your “safe place” (that is actually not really safe) worth it? Think about the people visiting it. Think about the damage. How many people can get triggered by your posts and how many already got?

Please, stay safe. Actually safe.