#Neurological Sex Toy

[k0komis]

Reader who's an esteemed researcher in snezsnaya was helping dottore in the new project assigned by the tsaritsa.

The two have the same level of intelligence but so does their ego so they argue a lot, but this one particular day, it got so worse, both of them trying to prove themselves correct they ended up hate fucking on his office.

Not really a big fan of hate fucking so at the middle of it they realize they admire each other's intelligence and skill it's just that their ego is too big for them to admit it.

In the end they do actually like each other 🤭

❦ Tfw ego gets in your way ❦

A/N : Anon your genius! Sorry for the delay I had some practicals going on. Also since you mentioned them being on-par, I made them have quite the self control (i.e. no cockdrunk reader).

Warnings : MINORS BEGONE | Fem-Bodied Reader, Explicit sex, Rough sex, Blowjobs, Edging, Orgasm Denial, Anal and No lube because it's Dottore, There's no Dom/Sub, Y'all being mean to each other, Mentions of questionable research, Dialogue heavy, Swearing

What could possibly go wrong, you had asked yourself. Turns out everything. You had been working on a project that required the subject to be kept in very specific conditions. Well, they escaped due to the negligence of your assistants. Added to that was the arrogance if your research partner, Dottore.

You were renowned for being a hard working researcher, having many years of experience in the Fatui. But you always were in the shadow of your senior- and the harbinger- Il Dottore. It pissed you off in every way possible and you couldn't help but always be criticising his work.

And he returned your kindness. He'd mock you for not being upto his standards or not being able to be a harbinger yet.

And speaking of the man, you came face to face as you were striding down the hallways with a frown on his face. He was talking to a Pyroslinger, pointing a funny looking test tube in his hand. When Dottore noticed you, he dismissed the guy and kept the testtube back in his pocket.

"Ah, Doctor Y/N, successful with your experiment yet?" He asked.

You gave him the sweetest smile possible and replied, "They wanted to feel the snow of Snezhnaya I suppose, so my underlings let them out on a trip."

Dottore grinned, his shark teeth showing. Oh how you wished he bit his tongue off someday.

"Well, Doctor, I need your help. Care to join me?"

You didn't really enjoy him mockingly calling you Doctor. He came up with that joke ever since people started remarking how you had caught up to his genius.

But you obliged. You needed to get your mind off the mishap, otherwise your assistants might no longer see the next day. You couldn't really afford that, sometimes the Fatui was stingy with their research funds.

After reaching the lab, he closed the door behind you two. He had that strange practice, being used to people trying to escape his presence. You didn't care though. You could probably take him. ... In a fight, you've never tried the other one.

He showed you an automaton and remarked, "I've been trying to incorporate human consciousness into an inanimate being. Your speciality is Neurology, hence I need your help."

You toyed around with the mechanism, trying to understand how it functions. You immediately came up with some possible hypothesis , but refrained from telling him any.

"How much am I getting paid?" You asked

"Paid?" He laughed, "You should be honoured working with me."

"Then excuse me I'm leaving."

You were almost at the door, thinking yourself to be witty, when he retorted, "You are replaceable, Y/N, don't think so highly of yourself."

And something in you snapped.

You walked up to him, poking your face closer to his, "Watch your tongue, Doctor ."

"You're funny, what makes you think I should even try to respect you?"

You were getting furious. First of all, simply him existing annoyed you, and secondly, he was straight up insulting you. You grabbed a fistful of his shirt and snorted.

"What will make you respect me?"

Dottore 's smile made you shiver. It was calculated, he knew what he wanted to do and say. He grabbed your chin, lifting your head to meet his masked eyes.

"Beg me to respect you." He broke into maniacal laughter. "Maybe I'll tape it and display it to every Fatui. No matter how esteemed of a researcher you are, you would still succumb to ME!!"

There were ... Strange feelings inside you. The poison in his words were distant, you could only focus on his proud face. You noticed he was in a slightly compromised position, having been pushed against a table with your weight. And in that split second you took the decision.

You pulled him closer, shutting up his laughter by smashing your lips onto his. You felt hin stiffen, and you pulled away.

"Shut up." You murmured, wiping your mouth on the back of your hand. You saw his confidence falter, slowly registering what you had done. You saw him out the pieces together and he finally grinned, lips stretched ear to ear.

You were unsure what he was thinking, but his grasp on you got tighter, his hands now grabbing your hips.

"You're filthy." He said, before leaning into your ear and whispering, "Just how I like it."

"Don't get too ahead of yourself." Now you were improvising, having no idea where the impulse of kissing him came from. You fidgeted in his grasp for a moment, before concluding you had only wandered deeper into the spider's web.

You huffed when his hands started travelling up your spine, right up to your neck. He pressed into your throat, cutting of your air. You clenched your jaw, not willing to give into his shenanigans. In return, you grabbed a fistful of his hair, trying to pull it out of his scalp.

"Fuck." He moaned, "That's hot."

"You're messed up." You said, lightly amused.

He was stronger- which was proven when he overpowered you to slam you onto the table.

"What, do you say-" he pressed his body on top of you, notably his crotch on your ass- "we prove our worth to each other."

You rolled your eyes, quickly using his distraction as an advantage to flip your positions and pin him down.

"Why don't I show my talents in neurology to you huh? Gonna stimulate those nerve endings for you?" You chuckled, keeping eye contact as you unbuttoned his shirt.

Dottore made an 'oh' sound, and he allowed you to strip him. His own hands were tugging on your shirt, frown on his face because he couldn't figure out the workings of your dress. So he simply ripped it off.

His bare torso was laid out for you to ogle. His skin had a light shine from the sweat; clearly his body was feeling it despite the winter. You were top-naked too, though Dottore's hands provided some coverage. He groped your tits, a dark laugh leaving his lips.

"Whore."

"Then I suppose I should help with this." You palmed his crotch, feeling his dick strain against the fabric of his pants. A part of you wondered whether it was a living or mechanical being behind the skin but the rest of you was anticipating being dicked down.

"Please." He was almost begging. Pride bloomed in your heart, knowing that the Doctor was weak for you.

You got to work taking off his trousers, hurriedly freeing the poor organ. It sprung out and you almost comically flinched from it's size.

You looked up at his face, trying to understand what he was feeling. The mask was in your way. You tried to ask him about it, and he immediately replied,

"The mask stays on during sex."

You huffed and put your attention back to his dick. You stroked it gently, Dottore patiently waiting for you to give him his release. Quickly stealing a glance at him, you pressed your lips on it.

"FUCK." A moan tore out from the man's lips.

"Sensitive. Noted."

You gave little licks along the length, his fingers digging into your scalp. Your motions were teasing, trying to find every single spot that would stimulate him the most.

"Get to the main part you whore or I'll have to do it myself." Dottore said through gritted teeth.

You obliged, taking his full length into your mouth. Dottore gasped from the sensation, and couldn't help but admire how adorable you looked with his cock filling out your cheeks.

You bobbed your head up and down, feeling the veins harden with every contact. How long will he last, you wondered.

Within seconds his grip on your scalp had tightened, him now forcing your head up and down to set his own pace. You whined in protest, though being ignored by him. Your hands were resting on his thighs for support, and you thought it's be a funny idea to pinch him.

"Brat." He breathed out as he pulled out of your mouth to release his cum all over your chest. You sat there for a few seconds, registering what just happened.

"That was great, Y/N, but I approach my subjects more directly." He said, now lifting you up and slamming you back on the table. He got close to your ear and whispered, "I like them marked too."

Saying that he dug his teeth into your collarbone, with you screaming out his name. You felt warm blood trickle down your skin.

"Get it? I'm less kind. That's what makes me successful."

You own trousers were now off, your ass exposed to his administrations.

"I get it, Mr. Sadism, now will you fuck me or not?" You huffed out impatiently.

"So eager..." He sighed, smacking your ass hard. You yelped, grabbing the sides of the table for support.

You heard him spit on his dick, and you realised what was about to happen.

"Oh no, oh no, shouldn't have rushed you-"

And with that he plunged straight in. Your voice got stuck in your throat because your body was more concerned with trying to fit your walls around his length and size. He pulled out almost immediately, before plunging right back in.

He gave you no time to either complain or appreciate, he was set on a brutal pace probably meant to rearrange everything inside you. You were repeating something over and over, but your ears were ringing with so much pleasure that you could barely hear yourself.

And just like that it all stopped suddenly. You were feeling hot and stuffed, but Dottore had pulled out leaving you just at the tip of your release.

"I had said it once before. Beg me for it, y/n." He said, his voice oh-so-cocky.

You regretted not pulling the denial trick when you were sucking on his cock.

But this denial wasn't one sided. He was close to his release too and all he wanted was your sweet sweet voice to cry for him. Seeing you not respond to him, he thumbed your clit, drawing more moans out of you.

"Say. It. Whore."

You almost laughed. If you controlled yourself right now, you could cause him the most minor inconvenience in his life. But in the end, you couldn't.

"Dottore... make me cum, please."

He did. His thumb bullying your clit while he plunged right back to your depths pushed you over the edge. You came all over his fingers, and he leaned in to give you reassuring kissing on your spine. He too climaxed, hot seed spilling into your intestines.

The two of you were breathing heavily, and Dottore laid down beside you on the table.

"Do you think anyone heard us?"

You ignored him, your eyes fixed on his face. He filled you with so many feelings, hate, jealousy, annoyance, but somehow in the end you trusted him. You two have worked countless times together and everytime you recall those memories the first image that pops into your mind his his proud face examining his work.

Maybe... you liked him.

And he did too. Otherwise the Second Harbinger would have not spared a second thought at assassinating someone who annoyed him.

[celestiamour]

‧₊˚✧ ❛[ before entering the wardrobe ]❜

╰₊✧ i’m a fake narnia fan, i’ve only watched the movies (the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe + prince caspian) recently and haven’t read the books in years so details and characterizations may be off, but i’m obsessed with said movies and will proceed to write for the characters.

╰₊✧ this blog contains fluff, angst, nsfw/suggestive & is dark content friendly (possibly including yandere, dubcon/noncon), please tread lightly. just because i write for dark content doesn’t mean i condone any of the actions in real life!!

╰₊✧ this is a side blog!! i cannot follow back or send asks using this blog, all interactions will come from my main blog, @celestiaras.

do not interact if you are: racist, sexist, ableist, homophobic/transphobic, send hate/threats, bash dark content creators, slut shame┊if you don't like me or my content, kindly block me and move on. do not trauma dump in my dms/inbox or use slurs of any kind even if you can reclaim them!!

i don’t mind minors interacting with my works regardless of the content, I’m not your mom and it’s normal for teenagers (minors but not children) to consume such content. all of my works are properly labeled, be aware of what you’re opening (and please, dear god, don’t tell me that you’re fourteen or something and reading smut) . however, please refrain from interacting with me directly!

╰₊✧ i always write unprotected BUT PLEASE WRAP IT BEFORE YOU TAP IT DONT BE LIKE THE READER IN THESE FICS STAY SAFE. english isn't my first language and my works are rarely, if ever, proofread so expect mistakes. my titles are cringe, i don't have better ideas. and finally, don’t take anything too seriously like ooc characters/character dynamics, i write for fun and it isn’t worth analyzing

‧₊˚✧ ❛[ sending a request? ]❜

╰₊✧ as mentioned before, i take requests for fluff, angst, smut, & dark content including yandere & dubcon/noncon in the format of headcanons, drabbles, or one-shots.

╰₊✧ i'm allowed to decline a request for a variety of reasons & they may come out slow as this blog isn't my main priority, but I'll try my best!

i write for peter pevensie, susan pevensie, edmund pevensie, lucy pevensie, prince caspian, jadis (the white witch), and mr tumnus!!

╰₊✧ be specific for requests!! please have a prompt in mind and not just not just “bottom edmund?” or “susan x reader” or “yandere jadis” unless you specify that you wish to give me full rein over what the fic is about.

╰₊✧ do not send me the same request you sent someone else and vice versa , it puts both of us in an awkward position. you can check if your requests are accepted my looking at “requests” on my pinned. also, don’t send me the same request multiple times or ask me when i’m posting as it makes me less inclined to do it.

╰₊✧ i only write for fem and occasionally gn readers, sorry to my male readers. appearances are as vague as i can possibly make it, but requesting tall/short readers or plus-sized readers or readers with larger/smaller chests are okay as long as it isn’t the total focus (ex, short reader headcanons)! please don't request for readers who are trans, specific races, disabled, or with developmental/neurological disorders

╰₊✧ no, don't request for!!┊amab/male reader, character x character, hard incest, watersports/scat/vomit, diapers, underage (characters are always at least 18), pregnant sex (breeding/talks of starting a family is fine), reader/character being cheated on, rimming/ass eating, bestiality/zoophilia, oviposition/eggpreg, necrophilia, woundfucking

╰₊✧ okay!!┊gender neutral reader, anal/pegging, degradation/humiliation, mommy/daddy kink, pain play (intensity can vary), intercrural, knife/gun play, blood kink, pseudo-incest, lactation, cuckolding/voyeurism, sex toys, netorare/cheating on an unspecified third party, trans characters, LEGAL age gaps

╰₊✧ yes!!┊afab/female reader, dom/sub/switch reader, alternate universes/role reversal, dubcon/noncon, yandere, praise/body worship, overstimulation/edging, breeding, size kink, tribbing, bondage, blindfolds, piercings, dacryphilia, somnophilia, dumbification, poly/threesome/moresome

feel free to ask for something not listed and i'll let you know if it's something i am willing to write!!

[theivorybilledwoodpecker]

When Sarah Anderson travels to Texas middle schools to teach sex education, she brings props: a toy baby to represent unplanned pregnancy, a snake for bacterial infections, a pregnancy test for infertility, a skeleton for AIDS and cancer. The students are told that if they have sex before marriage, emotional risks include depression, guilt and anxiety. They’re taught that condoms — while often labeled as a method for “safe sex” — do not keep them safe from pregnancy or sometimes-incurable sexually transmitted infections.Her curriculum for high schoolers, meanwhile, says that people who “go from sex partner to sex partner are causing their brains to mold and gel so that it eventually begins accepting that sexual pattern as normal.” This, the curriculum says, could “interfere with the development of the neurological circuits” needed for a long-term relationship. Anderson isn’t a school district employee. She works for the South Texas Pregnancy Care Center in Seguin, a group founded in 2001 to counsel women against getting abortions. The organization is one of dozens of crisis pregnancy centers across the state that send employees into schools to talk to students and, in some cases, teach sex education classes. ... Texas has the ninth-highest teen birth rate of any state, 20.3 births per 1,000 females ages 15 to 19. And while teen birthrates have been falling in the U.S. as a whole since 1991, they remain among the highest in the developed world.

[lilacqueerr]

hii im rilla/cadence! i use they/she/ae pronouns :3

✨mutuals feel free to dm at anytime

✨multiple, ask for our group sideblog

✨your favorite cripfemme, drug seeker, full-time wheelchair user, and bad patient tm (functional neurological disorder/fnd + the pentad super-syndrome)

✨professional sex, toy, and kink educator and sociologist with a special interest in the above - mutuals can ask for nsfw

✨strange and off-putting underneath my sanrio exterior, don't even bother here if you don't like contradicting and strange queer identities (dyke4fag, objectum, nonhuman, xenogender, and fluid lesbianism are some that i have) or unusual expressions of queer sexuality

✨antizionist diasporic commie jew

✨i tag common triggers and bigotry (not queer or any reclaimed queer slurs), ask me to tag anything else if you want!

✨commonly used tags are on this post!

[thetantricmeditator]

What Is Mindful Sense-Play

Sense-play involves gaining an awareness of the various sensations and feelings that can be evoked from the total engagement of your senses. This can introduce a new level of sensuality to your sex life. It also keeps you focused on the right now and heightens your intimacy levels. That can lead to much better orgasms. When engaging in sensation play, you heighten the senses, which may lead to heightened sexual pleasure. This sensory engagement may come in the form of auditory to tactile to visual. Like with any other new thing you try, experiment and take notice of what feels the best, add new sensations to that, and keep on finding your true pleasure.

Before the Session

Many tend to utilize aids in helping them achieve the necessary state of relaxation needed to melt into this guide-less form of meditation. True relaxation for me occurs when I have a steaming, hot cuppa tea with sweet, heavy whipping cream. True sexual relaxation occurs when I am feeling floaty, sated, and hot. This form of mindful sex pretty much needs a partner, although I did try some of the less sexual aspects of it myself using toys. I am more of a "soloist" when it comes to masturbation, but something can be said for utilizing a partner. So for the sake of fully engaging in this demonstration, I partnered up with a friend named Vast.

Mindful sense-play

If one wants to be technical, every type of mindful sex can be considered mindful sense-play because it is necessary to engage at least one of the senses in order to fully release all inhibitions and experience the technique. Mindful sense-play and kinky BDSM go together quite well. Think spanking, autoerotic asphyxiation, blindfolding, and temperature play (hot candle wax, cold ice cubes, warm caramel, or chocolate). Whenever one is engaging in mindful sense-play remember, that a key factor is either enhancing or diminishing a sense.

There is some research that pain enhances mindfulness. When pain occurs, all of one’s attention focuses on that pain and where it is being experienced. That is a focal point of mindful sense-play, the need for intense focus on an equally intense sensation. Additional research has found that looking into mindfulness on a neurological level, there is a reduction in the part of the brain that houses one’s sense of mind wandering and sense of self.

 There is also some research on “dom space” (the altered state of mind for dominants) and “subspace” (that altered state of mind for submissives) that place these two role-players go into during a scene. In these states, there can be a complete sense of oneness within their universe, and that evaporation of selfhood that comes with a more spirited, altered state of consciousness. As a switch, I have experienced both states of altered consciousness during role-play and the infliction of pain.

For some pain doesn’t aid in meditation, however, for me, it helps more when I am engaging in my solo pursuits. The more heightened my senses, the calmer and more captivated with my body and its experiences I become. This does not always occur, because for others it is usually the opposite. I was able to lapse into a state of meditative purity after these instances of pain. Soft sensations during mindful sense-play can not be discounted though. Stroking my breasts, belly, and folds with feathers and silks also brings me to that deep meditative state, simply because I am that intune with this body.

When I’m working with a partner, particularly during ice play, I am so heated on the inside that when the ice touches me, the anticipation of the numbness and frigid pain opens up my pain delight receptors, I flow into my subspace and welcome those sensations. This pushes me deeper into an open and mindful space. When working with a Dom, I make sure we connect in a way that he or she can understand what works and what doesn’t.

However, a gentler version of sense play proved fruitful as well. My partner ran a downy feather up and down my body to add a new sensation to partnered pleasure mapping (the process of touching new areas of the body to invoke new feelings and sensations as well as discovering new types of erogenous zones. This can involve exploration, experimentation, and a few new props as well) Still, it wasn't as good as my initial control session, but I'm not giving up on the potential usefulness of BDSM sense-play as meditative. It could be that in both these instances my calm was thrown off by the factor of a partner being present since I prefer solo play.

[celestiaras]

‧₊˚✧ ❛[ my works, my rules ]❜

╰₊✧ i accept requests for smut and dark content (specifically yandere & maybe dubcon/noncon) one-shots/drabbles and headcanons!! i also take more vanilla requests like fluff and angst, but i’m a bit more picky with them. i can't always guarantee the length of a request as some inspire me more than others and because motivation is a bitch, but i’ll always try my best!!

╰₊✧ be specific for requests!! please have a prompt in mind and not just not just “bottom wilson?” or “scarle x reader” or “yandere kotoka” unless you specify that you wish to give me full rein over what the fic is about.

╰₊✧ do not send me the same request you sent someone else and vice versa , it puts both of us in an awkward position. you can check if your requests are accepted my looking at “requests” on my pinned. also, don’t send me the same request multiple times or ask me when i’m posting as it makes me less inclined to do it.

╰₊✧ i’m allowed to decline a request if i’m uninterested or uncomfortable with it or it breaks a rule or requests aren’t open. you also can ask me to elaborate on a thirst that i posted. check my pinned to see if requests are open before sending something in.

check the characters list in my pinned for the characters i write for!! if you don’t see your fav listed, feel free to ask me and convince me otherwise

╰₊✧ i only write for fem and occasionally gn readers, sorry to my male readers. appearances are as vague as i can possibly make it, but requesting tall/short readers or plus-sized readers or readers with larger/smaller chests are okay as long as it isn’t the total focus (ex, short reader headcanons)! please don't request for readers who are trans, specific races, disabled, or with developmental/neurological disorders

╰₊✧ no!!┊amab/male reader, character x character (unless poly but no straight ships please), hard incest, watersports/scat/vomit, diapers, underage (characters are always at least 18), pregnant sex (breeding/talks of starting a family is fine), reader/character being cheated on, rimming/ass eating, bestiality/zoophilia, oviposition/eggpreg, necrophilia (exception of a character who’s canonically an undead by technicality), woundfucking

╰₊✧ okay!!┊gender neutral reader, anal/pegging, degradation/humiliation, mommy/daddy kink, pain play (intensity can vary), intercrural, knife/gun play, blood kink, pseudo-incest, lactation, cuckolding/voyeurism, sex toys, netorare/cheating on an unspecified third party, genderbent/alter ego characters, trans characters, LEGAL age gaps

╰₊✧ yes!!┊afab/female reader, dom/sub/switch reader, alternate universes/role reversal, dubcon/noncon, yandere, praise/body worship, overstimulation/edging, breeding, size kink, tribbing, bondage, blindfolds, piercings, dacryphilia, somnophilia, dumbification, poly/threesome/moresome

feel free to ask for something not listed and i'll let you know if it's something i am willing to write!!

[foundhealth]

5 Ways Stress Impacts the Body…and What To Do About It!

It’s that time of year already.   They’ve been selling wrapping paper and toys at Costco for 2 months now and the cashier asked if I wanted to pre-order my organic turkey the other day.  It’s the holidays!  For the vast majority of us living in the 21st century, the holidays bring added stress to our lives – financial expenditures, travel, time with family, office parties.  It’s just what the doctor ordered.

As a health care provider, I’m here to tell you that stress is pro-inflammatory.  It can and does affect our whole organ system.  I mean that our emotional issues have physical effects in and on the body.  This probably comes as no surprise but perhaps if I can elaborate on HOW this happens, you can really grasp just how serious this is…and not just read this article and dismiss it as if you are not affected by it.

The Brain:  Nothing is more damaging to the brain than stress.  Stress atrophies the entire brain meaning it shrinks it.  Stress is inflammatory and degrades the blood-brain barrier, the lining that protects our brain from toxins and infectious agents.  If you thought Alzheimer’s or other neurological diseases were out of your control, think again (no pun intended!)

The Gut:  Just as stress diminishes our Secretory IgA (antibodies), stress also damages the epithelial lining protecting our gastrointestinal tract.  Damages can allow foods & chemicals to cross the epithelial lining, igniting the inflammatory cascade.  Additionally, when our body thinks we need to run from the lions and tigers (or any other form of stress), it opts to slow down digestion and put all its energy into fight and flight.  (Now you know why you get constipated during travel – the body can’t distinguish between lions, and a trip to Disneyland.  Stress is Stress.)

Our Hormones:  Stress affects our hormones – estrogen, testosterone, DHEA and all their metabolites – as it “steals” precursors to make cortisol and cortisone.  Left untreated, our monthly cycles can be disrupted, we lose our “spark” as testosterone is depleted, we suffer hair loss, and before you know it someone is suggesting an anti-depressant when really the root cause is stress.  (Just in case you hadn’t really thought it through, a pill won’t fix bad relationships or finances and it’ll likely just make matters worse as you now are stressed, depressed, and dealing with side effects.)

Our Adrenal Glands:  Stress affects our adrenal glands as they work harder and harder to keep up with demands – they are in charge of regulating blood sugar and electrolytes, as well as helping to produce those sex steroid hormones (estrogen and testosterone) and the anti-aging hormone DHEA.  With too many jobs to do, someone always gets the short end of the stick.  Surely you know someone who has gone through a trial of stressors and his/her hair quickly turns grey.   It’s also harder to sleep as the excitatory neurotransmitters still pulse through our bloodstream, and a lack of sleep just compounds the problem.

Our Thyroid:  The thyroid is termed our “sentinel” gland and is ULTRA-sensitive to stress, toxins, and any perceived threat.  Under stress, it slows..everything….down.  If we were lost in the desert without food or water, our slow metabolism would allow us to live longer on less.  The problem again is that our body doesn’t know the difference between job stress, work stress, a long to-do list, Disneyland…or lions and tigers.  

Visit here for more about 5 Ways Stress Impacts the Body…and What To Do About It!

[cmsrainyasshole]

I’ll tell you Simon should feel like a piece of parasitic dog shit but apparently we have guys like him by the balls pretty easily

Do you know my ex-boyfriend he just loves you me? I have some issues to deal with you with you yes a lot of people like you I don’t like people who take and take and take and they give nothing in return and I don’t like that you’re wearing a Czechoslovakian hat allegedly thanks for keeping the heart right in there oh you guys took it back didn’t you oh that’s so cute you know what though Daniel Jones still loves me do you know why I know it I don’t know but I’m mathematically inclined to prove it what is this about trying to help the American children how stupid was that idea God now all of these doctors are like fucking drones and I think they have all the money in the world and I’m freaking out I’m like what the fuck so when something becomes in gorged am I gonna feel like a goddamn mentally retarded person now but the damage the neurological damage from with those pieces of shit try to do to me I’m never gonna give away some things and I already know why they absolutely expected me to be a goddamn retard for life we don’t do that to people

It terrifies me to think about British Simon with his Czechoslovakian hat go ahead and take it back OK fine that’s fine it wasn’t yours in the first place ha ha ha bitch so what are we learned about hats we learned a lot about hats from the very beginning because the doctors were like OK if you have boundaries and you’re willing to cross that nasty ass line we got you something about hats I don’t know

But see doctors don’t appreciate feminism because feminism is a very smart thing and it saves lives and doctors are like if you save lives then we can’t gaslight those women what will we do for sport? You can have sex you can masturbate you can fuck you can go to the shopping mall you can travel abroad and just learn how to treat people like equals like I know but Rebecca we can’t count that hard Lee I feel so bad for you guys oh no give them a lollipop give them all a Lali pop hey Sam the cooking guy will you give them a lollipop shut these little poor bastards up I guess we learned something about pants Mark you know what like I feel so weird because I’m like wow when I disconnect from him I’m gonna be actually a retarded vegetable because they beat me so severely bad no no it’s Nuro plasticity you guys it’s OK yeah we don’t have spelled out right it’s not like the white people want it to B spelled right for the African-American community or for those brown people like me and Ashley F that’s even who either of us RIMA Toys “R” Us kid RU Hells yeah can you guys please spell neural plasticity correctly so that I’m not giving incorrect information to African-Americans

Neuroplacticity

Hold up what up what is bothering me about that’s not right you know what they’ll let me help you guys out with like six Celsius in Fahrenheit what we have learned about some people down under oh my gosh oh my gosh you guys too I felt like such a piece of trash no no I don’t feel like one but I just felt like well never mind idea we should do a friend never mind I was gonna say something about franchises swear to God insult a hat that way and it will make me cry they know it to heat they know it to a doctor what is he 104 by now I say we can push to 115 and then 120 the mind is limitless should in the body and spirit also be

Where are my edges you know it all Kinda evens out in the end it hurts when you’re rejected it hurts when I’m rejected we hurt when we love people who do not love us back sometimes that sucks really badly but Tom says it kind of all evens out and I think that well I don’t call and Thomas and I think that it’s because you guys tried to take the update that I didn’t appreciate it wasn’t an update or anything like that it was actually I got so tired of children bullying me that I was actually ready to fuck you up in the head could’ve been an iPhone update that’s cute Mark and John I think that’s so cute I love that for you

[vvienne]

RANWAN FIC RECS

Absolute Zero by jitterati

Pathologically solitary academic Chu Wanning left behind a life of research to enlist with the Pan-Pacific Defense Corps Jaeger team when giant monsters began to emerge from the Pacific ocean, eager to leave his personal entanglements behind him and join humanity's collective battle against the threat of extinction.

His goal is to build an artificial intelligence that will allow a pilot to operate a Jaeger mech solo - eliminating the need for pilot compatibility and the mortifying ordeal of being totally known by another person, a "neurological handshake" known colloquially as the drift.

He didn't expect his former students to follow him all the way to front line of the war against the kaiju.

Featuring lots of side character interaction, pining, yearning, questions on the nature of personhood, friendship between jerks, people coping badly with loss, snarky AI, and giant robots. Illustrations by Saika & Daru

Husky and his White Kitten Disciple by JustAMoon123

Within a lonely heart, the seeds of hatred start to grow.

-A 2ha Age and Role-Reversal AU.-

NOTE: This Story is Now E Rated!

[Before meeting Chu Wanning, Mo Ran had drawn his power exclusively from the Wood side of his dual Spiritual Root, and his Qi had always glowed green.

Now, only when in battle did it do so, with Bugui’s blade encased in a tyrannical green light.

Outside of battle, like when he set barriers of warmth; or made Crystal Butterflies to tease golden flowers; or cast a small array to keep a box of food warm, his Qi manifested with a gentle red glow.

Mo Ran’s Wood was destructive, while his Fire was protective.

Ah, Mo Weiyu, Mo Weiyu. Even your power betrays you.]

Burn, Pine, and Perish by moonqueenmaia

It’s been two days since Taxian-Jun’s last visit, and Mo Ran hasn’t touched Chu Wanning at all, beyond gentle and fleeting caresses. Chu Wanning decides to take matters into his own hands by surprising Mo Ran when he comes back to their home after a trip down the mountain.

it's no coincidence (it's a kitty-incidence) by lanzhan (gothguk)

There’s a white cat lounging in the middle of Mo Ran's bed.

to touch you with bare hands (even if it burns) by moonqueenmaia

Chu Wanning is a renowned professor of mechanical engineering at Sisheng Peak University. Beautiful, lonely, and talented beyond belief, he has spent his 32 years mostly by himself, silently and secretly yearning for affection and companionship. Yet Chu Wanning has resolved to himself that he will spend the rest of his life alone, no matter his hidden fantasies.

Enter Taxian-jun, an unruly, arrogant, and struggling student, fiery and domineering, who comes in and shatters the calm of Chu Wanning's life. They enter into an agreement, both burying their feelings underneath a storm of lust and lies. Yet amidst it all, something deeper may be helplessly and slowly blooming.

It is up to them to cultivate it, or destroy it for good.

cursed by devilsoupe

Chu Wanning and his disciples are sent to investigate an abandoned village, and Chu Wanning is hit with a curse.

Mo Ran was determined to treat his shizun respectfully in this life, but what choice does he have?

liar liar cock on fire by lofikv

I (32M) walked in on my roommate (23M) masturbating in our living room. Ever since then I couldn't erase the image of his penis in my mind but I found a sex toy online that is almost as big as him, so I bought it and tried it on myself so that I can imagine how he would feel inside me. I have also been romantically attracted to him ever since we started living together. How can I cope with this?

UPDATE: He caught me in the middle of an emergency.

(Absolute) Unit 311 by devilsoupe

Chu Wanning doesn't have a soulmark.

Neither does Mo Ran.

ducks entering highway by Sectionladvivi

Mo Ran finds out his well-respected, MILF-coded, tears-of-angels-tight-ass robotics professor moonlights as an erotic novelist. He immediately leverages this knowledge for an opportunity to play tonsil hockey.

to yearn by devilsoupe

Chu Wanning starts to cough up flowers. Taxian-Jun is angry. Chu Wanning is not allowed to die pining for someone else.

When it starts happening again in his second life, Mo Ran knows enough to worry.

from blossom to blossom to impossible blossom by Wildehack (tyleet)

Taxian Jun is the victim of a flower curse.

sticky fingers by fakeplasticlily

The man tosses the towel unceremoniously back at Mo Ran’s chest, like he’s personally offended by it. And the fact that his hands had just been all over said chest barely minutes earlier, maybe. “Please pack a box of egg tarts with extra custard filling, a box of red bean paste buns with extra syrup, a rice pudding with extra candied fruit garnish, and a box of osmanthus cakes with extra sweet pear jam.” Mo Ran’s eyes grow progressively wider as he lists the items. It’s him. Not the suburban mother of four, not the elderly guy dealing with a midlife crisis, but quite possibly the hottest guy he’s ever seen. Who also happens to have the highest sugar tolerance Mo Ran has seen in a human being in his two years of running this bakery. 

Hard to Love The Lonely Night by bloodsongs

Chu Wanning glares up at him, adjusting his women’s robes. “Still, why couldn’t you have been the wife instead?”

Coughing politely, Mo Ran looks to the side, avoiding his gaze. “Shizun’s skills with the illusion barrier far surpass this humble disciple’s, and, well…”

He doesn’t need to complete his sentence—it’s infuriating, but Mo Ran is now taller than him, broader than him, larger than him. Very much so. The young sapling he raised in Sisheng Peak is now a full-fledged tree, a man built like the mountains Chu Wanning has seen in his travels.

Chu Wanning and Mo Ran pretend to be a married couple visiting a small mountain town to investigate some suspicious disappearances. Mini Canon AU casefic. Contains spoilers up to Chapter 130 or so of the novel.

Purple Ink by jeejaschocolate

Chu Wanning is a robotics engineer who lives a life of isolation and loneliness, only partially due to his chronic illness. Eventually he gets so sick that he requires the help of a full-time medical assistant.

Of course, these days, all those jobs are given to CyberLife androids.

Chu Wanning resents the android they give him. From his fiery eyes to his long black hair, to his incomparable tenderness and consideration for Wanning’s feelings.

He resents him. All the way until he falls in love with him.

Fallen Flowers in Swallows' Nests by bloodsongs

You deserve better—I refuse to disrespect you ever again. I want to be better. I must be better.

But I don’t know how. I don’t know what to do.

I don’t know where Taxian-Jun ends and Mo-Zongshi begins.

I only know now that I cannot lie to myself: I want you so fiercely that I burn with it, I am consumed with the desire to make you mine and mine alone. To become one with you, feeling your fire twine with mine.

Or, Chu Wanning finds letters from Mo-Zongshi that were never shared with him.

These hitherto undiscovered letters cover a range of emotions that weren't present in the book he gifted his Shizun: contrition, yearning, and desire.

Counterpoint by senchafloat

Five years ago, Mo Ran was just a boy who loved playing piano—there were many things he didn't know. He didn't know how capricious and unforgiving the world of classical music could be. He didn't know just how lucky he was to have Chu Wanning as his teacher.

Five years later, Chu Wanning is now a renowned concert pianist, and Mo Ran is an upstart conducting student. When Chu Wanning shows up unannounced at his alma mater, Mo Ran has plenty of questions, along with a desire to prove his worth to his old teacher. But as it turns out, Chu Wanning isn't as invincible as he once seemed. As old secrets come up to the surface, the two of them are forced to reinvent the ways they'll make music together.

impatient to adore you by riverdanceeee

At some heartbreaking point in his life, Mo Ran accepted that Chu Wanning would never reciprocate his feelings, so he dealt with it as any other person would. He'd rid himself of his affection, respect their friendship, and learn to move on. But Mo Ran's affection runs too deep, and when any opportunity to spend time with Chu Wanning knocks on his door, he goes running to answer and accept. Even if it means he has to break up a potentially dangerous dog fighting ring.

To Bow Before A Willow Vine by bloodsongs

“I…” Mo Ran hadn’t thought that far. He shakes his head, lowering his head in deference, resting his forehead against Chu Wanning’s knuckles. "I'll do anything you want of me."

The silence stretches on for a beat too long.

"Anything?" Chu Wanning says eventually, tilting his head.

Written for 2Ha Week, Day 4: Reverse AU for the 0.5 timeline. When Chu Wanning storms Sisheng Peak and crowns himself the cultivation world's new emperor, Mo Ran trades his life for Xue Meng's. Contains spoilers for up to the end of the novel.

Call me by my name by rinsled05

When the man called Taxian-Jun arrives, years later, it’s the coming of a storm.

He sweeps into a dinner appointment between Chu Wanning and a client, clad in black, a smirk tugging at his mouth. Over the spark of irritation, Chu Wanning can’t help but admire his lean frame, the way his hair, cut rebelliously short, falls over smoldering, dark eyes. The way he towers over him, even when Chu Wanning rises to full height.

Chu Wanning’s heart races as Taxian-Jun leans in close, ignoring the shouts and gasps around them.

“Sakaki of Ran,” he purrs in their native tongue. “You’re mine.”

Chu Wanning lifts his chin. “I don’t know you.”

“You will,” Taxian-Jun says, and leaves.

In which Chu Wanning is a courtesan serving Chinese merchants in Nagasaki, Japan, and Taxian-Jun decides to make him his.

荷官牌型 ♠️ The Croupier's Hand by bloodsongs

In deep financial straits after losing his job as a teacher, a desperate Chu Wanning becomes a croupier at Sisheng's new casino.

The once sleepy town of Sisheng Peak grows busier by the day as the casino draws more and more tourists to their mountains. Consumed by his lingering regrets over the worst mistake of his life that destroyed his teaching career, Chu Wanning is too distracted to worry about anything else but his next shift, his next paycheck.

Except that's when Mo Ran, the reason Chu Wanning lost everything, returns to Sisheng Peak.

As the heir to the casino.

White Rabbit Club by minkit

Desperate to rid himself of a few pesky things called virginity and desire, Chu Wanning waltzes into a world he knows little about and right into the embrace of a mysterious stranger who reminds him of the student he's been dreaming about all year. The lust fueled dreams his student stars in are the very reason Chu Wanning applied to the sex club in the first place, and now he's desperate to get rid of these filthy impulses once and for all.

Congratulations, Chu Wanning, on your acceptance into the White Rabbit Club. We hope you enjoy your stay.

Risk and Restraint by purloinedinpetrograd

There is nobody Mo Ran works with who does not love him. He’s worked hard to cultivate this image while he climbs the corporate ladder at Sisheng, and it’s paid off in dividends. He’s in every WeChat group. He can call in favors with any division of any department. He can make even the tightest of deadlines relax their stranglehold on his team.

That is, there is nobody except, of course, Chu Wanning.

A Lingering Sweetness by theherocomplex

Chu Wanning is now all too aware of what he looks like: a dry stick of a man, never handsome, angular and cold and pale. A drab, short-tempered creature, as appealing as a splinter in one's foot. But Mo Ran looks at him as if he will never get his fill, and part of Chu Wanning thinks, What if —?

At the end of the line by PearlAquaBlue 

“So … I reckon someone thought you needed to loosen up a little bit. Now that you’re here, want to try it?”

Chu Wanning hangs up. Throws her phone on her pillow with a disgusted glare after it. Stands up and paces to the kitchen in long, angry strides. Her cheeks are burning. With trembling fingers, she grabs a glass and pours herself some water, gulping it down in one go. It doesn’t help much. She grips the kitchen counter tightly, then marches back into the bedroom to glare at the phone again. Her fingertips itch, and it’s as if some kind of magnetic force draws her closer and closer to her bed until her fingertips are but an inch away from that tempting black mirror. Before she knows it, she’s unlocked it unsteadily and pressed “repeat” on the last call.

“Welcome to Sisheng Peak – ”

“And what would that entail?” she asks, a little too breathless.

Let's Fall in Love for the Night by purloinedinpetrograd

Chu Wanning could only stare in horror as a large cloud of sickeningly yellow pollen rose from the field, blanketing the place where Mo Ran stood in a heavy fog. “Um,” he said lamely.

“Fuck,” Mo Ran cursed, and Chu Wanning didn’t even have the heart to chastise him for his coarse language, because he was too preoccupied wrestling the surge of fear at seeing his disciple disappear behind the haze of that indeterminately threatening dust.

A million terrible possibilities raced through his mind, each one more dramatic and gruesome than the last. His heart hammered against his ribcage, threatening to crack the bones. “Mo Ran,” he said slowly, “I think you should tell me what that does, now.”

Xue Zhengyong sends Chu Wanning and Mo Ran on a mission to find a specific ingredient for some concoction of his wife’s. Chu Wanning is torn between rejoicing at the chance to spend time alone with Mo Ran... and grieving over the very same thing.

But, well, it’s just flowers. What could go wrong, right? (Spoiler alert: it’s sex pollen.)

the day dawns in your hues by localshabba

2ha Week 2020 Day 1 prompt - Haitang

---

Schoolteacher Mo Ran is having an ordinary day until he has an awkward encounter with the notoriously rigid school librarian, which leads to the start of something new.

Also features: flowers, dinosaurs and lots of tenderness and pining.

helping hands by verity

When Mo Ran was but a young, innocent, virtuous grad student—well, one of those things—she built that couch from a flatpack box with her own two hands. Over the years, the smell of polyester and cheap foam padding has given way to an equally aromatic blend of Chu Wanning's haitang blossom perfume, spilled coffee, and white lithium grease. Chu Wanning herself is always perfectly dressed without a stain in sight. Even right now, her head tucked onto one folded arm, the other loosely gripping her tablet, she looks so formal.

Mo Ran gently rests a hand on Chu Wanning's socked ankle where it peeks out of those tailored white trousers. She really should behave herself.

She really should... behave herself...

in plain sight by localshabba

Written for a prompt fill in the 2ha Kink Meme.

---

"I have a surprise," Mo Ran breathed, coming to stand so close behind him that his breath landed on Chu Wanning's nape. Not touching Chu Wanning any other way, because he likes to make Chu Wanning lean back just a little bit, to seek out that contact himself.

"I think Chu-laoshi will enjoy it."

Chu Wanning is sure he agreed to the whole idea; he's just unclear on when. Things got hazy around the point when Mo Ran turned him around by the shoulders, got down on his knees and...well. Apparently he'd skipped breakfast that morning.

When he returned to his senses, his clothes were all neatly tucked into place, not a stain on them, and a charmingly pink sexual aid was nestled comfortably up his--ahem, inside him.

---

Now available in Spanish!

casually acquainted by tagteamme

Chu Wanning knows what he is and what he isn’t. And where he lacks in pleasantries and outward appeal, he makes up for in untouchable grace and dignity.

It threatens to unravel once he meets a familiar face in an unfamiliar city.

“So quick to run away from me, Chu-laoshi,” Mo Ran says, voice gently teasing as Chu Wanning refuses to make eye contact with him. “After you came all the way from…”

He trails off, waiting for Chu Wanning to let him know, but he sees the map open on Chu Wanning’s phone and grins wider. “You want directions?”

Chu Wanning clears his throat, and shakes his head. He should say something— instead, he stays silent as he looks down at his phone and punches in the hotel name again.

Happily, his phone tells him to try again when he has signal.

The Right Hand of Light by gedsparrowhawk (FaceChanger)

Chu Wanning is asleep on the bed, clutching his hands tightly to his chest and curled in on himself. He’s still wearing the same robes he was in in the water prison. On the writing desk, a bowl of water and clean linen for bandages sit untouched, and a tub of bathwater has cooled without being used. Mo Ran sighs to himself. Wanning is truly hopeless.

He sits on the side of the bed and touches Chu Wanning’s shoulder. “Wanning,” he says. “Wanning, wake up.”

---

Rare 0.5 tenderness, after the water prison.

nothing can consume you by tagteamme

Mo Ran’s violent history has never had to catch up to him.

It’s already embedded itself into him as scars on his body, as a tattoo on his forearm, as the lingering taste of blood in his sleep and finally, as the searing brand pressed against his chest before he’s thrown into the sea as punishment. He knows that this is where all his chances come to an end.

But as the deep fathom of the water swallows him up, something else saves him and pulls him to a tiny cove tucked away off the coast of an overlooked port town. When he wakes up under the care of a mythical creature wearing a familiar face, an even older and more distant past finally finds him.

[ushidoux]

In which the haikyuu dads try desperately to continue having sex once they become fathers (Part 2)

A/N: these are still cringey but a little less cracky and more sexy. idk.

Warnings: marriage & children, nsfw, mention of sex toys, car sex, oral (male receiving), reader with fem pronouns/parts

Part 2: includes Tendou, Matsukawa, Makki, Shirabu, Semi

Part 1

Tendou →

“Ooh, I think I might have heard dada this time?” Tendou muses, shaking a baby ball in front of your seventh month old’s face. Your little girl’s angelic laugh springs forth, but you have nothing to offer back in reply except for a soft whimper; it’s hard to focus on the sound of her voice over the buzz of the clit stimulator that has been pressed against your sensitive spot for the past ten minutes.

You sigh in pleasure, legs still parted and eyes starting to glaze over as Tendou leans over the baby cradle that faces the opposite direction.

“Are you having fun, baby?”

You know he isn’t talking to you and yet…

Mattsun → 

Even if Matsukawa has just come in from errands (grocery shopping, clothes shopping, the like) with a baby carrier strapped to his back and his child snoozing softly inside, tiny arms curled against him, it doesn’t stop him from greeting you with a kiss on the neck as you stew carrots on the stove.

His fingers slip below the hem of your panties and you gasp in surprise.

“Shh, don’t wake the baby,” he teases, his other index finger, the one that isn’t now circling your clit, raised to his lips.

He’s particularly good at slow, steady strokes upwards as you bend over the counter.

Your kid is a heavy sleeper alright.

Makki → 

Makki is also fond of the baby carrier, but he carries his sleeping child on his chest, and lets you fall to your knees to service him. 

He likes to pull your hair as you close your lips around his pink tip. The gentle grip he has on your hair guides you as you bob your head carefully up and down his shaft, not quickly enough to move him and risk a crying fit it’ll take an hour to calm.

It’s lewd and excessive what you’re doing possibly, but it’s a nice primer before Makki waistbands his erection, puts your little one to bed, and comes back to tend to you properly. 

Shirabu →

“He’s facing the other direction, stop worrying,” Shirabu murmurs, his voice morphing into a soft groan as you sink onto him despite your initial reservations, panties under a skirt pushed to the side.

“There’s a mirror!” You hiss, as your arms wrap around his neck. 

You’re not sure exactly how strapping in your little one in the backseat for a doctor’s appointment resulted in you riding your husband in the front seat before you’re even out of the garage.

“An eight month old’s neurological development is nowhere good enough to register anything we’re doing. He can’t even recognize his face in the mirror,” Shirabu insists, rather clinically. 

When you pull back to look at his face and frown, he shakes his head as if you’re the most ridiculous person in the world and kisses your collarbone, but then you hear the infant start to whimper. You attempt to shift off of him, but his hands tighten around your hips.

“Shhh, Mommy and Daddy are still here,” he says sweetly towards the backseat, even if his gaze focused on your lips and the twitch of his cock against your walls are far from saccharine.

Semi →

Literally does the exact same thing as Shirabu, except he thinks it’s hilarious that he’s fucking you in the car with your kid none the wiser, and literally waves back at your child in the mirror while pounding you against the steering wheel.

[asexual-means-no-attraction]

Do you know how to explain trans to older people / parents? I've gotten the same question over and over from both my parents and grandparents and that's "But why do you want to be a boy if you don't like cars or don't want to play sports?" Upon clarification, I essentially found out that they seem to believe NOT that all men like cars and trans men do too, but that people transition specifically because they want to do the hobbies "of the opposite sex." Like to them it isn't even "I'm becoming a boy, so I like cars and sports", but "I like cars and sports so I'll become a boy." Like to them, my cis guy pal who likes ballet and dolls has enough reasons to become a girl.

My sexologist (we don't have GIPs here, a sexologist works with trans people) tried to explain it to my mother repeatedly but failed every time (my mom kept going in circles no matter how many times the sexologist explained everything).

I also tried to explain it by saying that it's a neurological condition that causes my brain to be of a different gender than the body and that my sexual characteristics and things like voice or the lack of facial hair cause me distress. I was met with "But you liked both dolls and cars when you were little! And you didn't tell us that you were a boy when you were a toddler!" and tried to explain "Well, I didn't even know trans people existed, how could I have known that I was when I was a kid? Do you know that your leg is broken if you don't know what a broken leg is? Plus you always told me that I could play with anything and never bothered to gender toys nor clothes, probably because I was a girl so you didn't think I'd need that knowledge, so I played with anything." but they never listen to that, they say "No! All trans people know they're trans since they're born! They demand to be called a different name (a fun fact is that I did actually express absolute hatred of my name since an early age) and refuse to even socialise with people of their agab!"

I have no idea how I'm supposed to explain myself to them. I ran out of ideas tbh.

I can't promise these ideas will help but I got a few ideas. Note that a lot of these over simplify things and aren't going to be perfect analogies. But they can help to at least get someone in the right direction. And yes I am aware of how vaguely these relate-- but from what it sounds being specific isn't helping. Warning too: these ideas can apply to a lot more than being trans just an fyi.

When I first started realizing I was trans I explained it to myself using two things:

1. Imagine you're on a tran and you're going through a tunnel. It's dark but it's not bad. You're comfortable. Can't see anything out the window but you don't mind. You're ok where you are. You're content. Suddenly, the tunnel ends! And you can see out the window. There is an amazing view!! The most amazing view you've ever seen. And even tho you were just content and satisfied in the tunnel, you don't want to go back now. You were content in the tunnel until you saw the view outside. Of course you don't want to be in the tunnel when you can see this amazing view! Similarly, you were content as a girl until you really started thinking about yourself as a boy-- and now you can't imagine going back. Because you like being a boy so much more.

2. I personally really don't like vanilla cake. Like... I really don't. But I can still eat it. I like the frosting that comes with it. If someone hands me vanilla cake I won't complain, I won't be upset. I'll eat it and be fine. But if someone offered me vanilla or chocolate cake-- I'd pick the chocolate cake hands down every time. I love chocolate cake. I'd eat it all day if I could. If chocolate is ever an option, then vanilla will never make me happy. If being a boy is an option, then being a girl will never make me happy.

A few other ideas I got:

3. Ever had a family member knits you an itchy and ugly sweater that you hate? (I never have personally, but still). Do you remember having to wear it to family gatherings all the time to make that person happy? Your parents made you and you hated every second of it? But you still did it. And seeing that smile on that family members face... Well, it made it feel a little more ok. You're happy that they are happy. You're glad you could show them you care even if you don't actually like the sweater. We all do things we don't like in order to show we love those around us. It's just part of showing you care.

Often when you're trans, you'll look, wear, play with, etc certain things because they are there and they make you happy. You're mom gave you a doll, of course you're gonna play with it. It was a gift from mom and you love your mom. Your grandma buys you a dress, of course you're gonna wear it. She wanted to make you happy and it's not a terrible dress. Because you were raised as a girl, of course there will be girly things you've liked in the past. Because you were a girl, you were given girl clothes and girl toys-- naturally you wore and played with those. Because you want to show you care about the gifts given to you.

Now that you're older, you have more of a choice in what you say, wear, and do. And part of growing was realizing you were trans. And just because you were given girl clothes and toys as a kid, doesn't change anything about who you are.

4. Let's say you are 8 and have a potato allergy. Everytime you eat potatoes you get what you call "potato sweats." Everything gets hot and a sweaty and you wanna pass out. But as time goes on you're fine. You think everyone deals with this because no one has told you that it's not normal. No one else complains about potatoes. You figure everyone just deals with the potato sweats and it's fine.

Once you're in high school you complain about the potato sweats while eating fries. And your friend looks at you like you're insane. You explain what you're talking about and everyone at your table tells you it's not normal. You talk to a doctor and they tell you that you're allergic. How were you supposed to know? You thought it was normal to feel that way!! It wasn't until you learned about how others feel when eating potatoes and you knew something was wrong.

Being trans is very similar. Sometimes you're so used to feeling outta place with your own body that it feels normal to you. It's not till later that you may realize what you're feeling isn't actually normal.

That's all I can think of right now. If anyone else has ideas feel free to share. I tried to keep my ideas broad because I feel like that easier to understand.

[misc-headcanons]

Yaay! The ask box is open!! Can I request some SFW/NSFW requests for Ichiji, Niji and Yonji Vinsmoke? Thanks and lots of love

(I tried to keep these in-character, and as a result these are...not the fluffiest headcanons you’ll see. I can’t find a way to romanticize them too much; I mean, the Vinsmoke brothers are canonically just terrible people with no sense of empathy or sympathy so...yeah)

Potential TW: mildly unhealthy relationships, possessiveness

Ichiji

Okay, so these three are...difficult...to have a relationship with, to say the least. They’ve been genetically/neurologically modified to not feel emotions, so you’d think it’s impossible for them to feel anything like love or romantic attraction. Still, I like to think that there’s something they can feel, but it’s incredibly muted and almost doesn’t really register to them. But it’s still there.

Ichiji is possessive, but not as much as Niji. He’ll constantly have an arm around your waist or over your shoulder, just to display who you belong to. He’s a bit like Doflamingo, where he views his s/o as more of an object/shiny toy than an actual person with like...thoughts, and emotions, and all that shit. He practically buries you in outfits to parade you around in, and he likes it the most when you wear red so you two match.

If you were to somehow get him to experience a semblance of love outside of physical attraction (which the brothers clearly can feel, given that first scene with Nami), he’d be weirded out to say the least. He doesn’t understand why he feels so strange whenever you’re kind to him, and at first he assumes you’re manipulating him somehow. He’ll confront you about it and tell you to stop doing...whatever it is you’re doing to make him feel so strange. When you reply that you have no idea what the hell he’s talking about, he tries to explain the “symptoms” you’re giving him and gets annoyed that you’re lying about doing this to him. You’d have to explain very slowly that he might be feeling something akin to love, and he’d just be like “...Oh. Gross.”

Despite his distaste for feeling something like “love”, he can’t deny that he almost likes the weird way you make him feel. Maybe he can channel this whole “love” feeling into something productive and make him more powerful; plus, he’s also smug about being able to do something his other brothers can’t do, even if they view love as a sign of weakness. He’ll prove that even if he can feel something like this, he’s still the most powerful member of Germa 66 (as if being the eldest brother wasn’t enough of an ego boost)

Niji

Niji is definitely the most possessive of the three Vinsmoke brothers. Everywhere you go, he’s there next to you. Like Ichiji, he views you as more of an object or toy that an actual person; it doesn’t matter that you only met him a few days ago, you’re still his and he gets to do/say whatever he wants when it comes to you.

Like Ichiji, he gets you clothing that’s blue. Unlike Ichiji, that’s the only color you’re wearing. He wants people to see you two together and instantly know that you’re off-limits; the wardrobe just helps get that across. What can I say, this family has a thing for color-coding. 

He would be the hardest of the three to get him to develop any emotions, much less something like love. The closest he might get is briefly considering your perspective when he does something awful and then ignoring it because your opinion doesn’t matter, especially not more than his. Though over time, he’d start considering how you feel more and more, and may try to apologize by giving you gifts whenever he sees you’re upset by something he did. But material goods aren’t a replacement for a genuine apology in a healthy relationship. Honestly, I really doubt he can develop love; the closest you’d get is him misinterpreting other feelings and actions as a sign of love. And that is not the same, regardless of what he feels. 

He’d be the first of the three to actually say “I love you” and genuinely mean it, but that’s because he’s misinterpreting his possessiveness as love. When he’s possessive and refuses to leave you alone, it’s because he “loves” you and wants to protect you, etc. The “love” he feels is a hollow facsimile, closer to the way a child has a favorite toy than anything close to the real thing. 

Yonji

Yonji is a bit of an anomaly, compared to his two brothers. He’s a lot louder, more boisterous, and he’s not as possessive as Ichiji or Yonji. Unlike them, he doesn’t really care much for making you wear outfits, except for maybe wearing his scarf or his jacket sometimes; as long as it’s sexy or revealing, he’s cool with it. 

Very grabby and handsy with his s/o, and is definitely the brother that’s the most comfortable with PDA. He’ll make out with you at the dinner table and give zero fucks to the way Judge glowers at him for acting so “unseemly”. 

He likes it if his s/o is a little feisty, and he thinks it’s fun to push their buttons to get them annoyed. He’s kind of like that kid in school who would poke your back and then pretend like he didn’t do anything when you turn to glare at him. But instead of it just being an immature asshole classmate, it’s your immature asshole boyfriend.

He’s an ass, but he’s the most likely of the three to actually listen to you (in his own way). If you’re upset, he’d ask why you’re pouting and whining so much, even if you’re talking normally. If you vented about what was wrong, Yonji would just offer to beat the shit out of whoever was giving you trouble regardless of the situation. 

If you asked if he loved you, he’d immediately say yes and look at you like you’re an idiot.

“Um, obviously I love you, dummy. I’d kill anyone who made you upset and I make out with you all the time; can’t get any more loving than that!”

As you can see, his concept of love is very...different from actual love. If you tried to explain what love actually is and how to express it, he’d just cock his head and say that his way of expressing love is better. Still, he’d try every so often to do it “your way” and treat you with a modicum of warmth and respect. It’s weird to him, but eventually he starts to like it because of how cute you look when your face lights up after he says something genuinely kind. Plus, whenever he shows his love in a way that’s healthy, you’re a lot more receptive to having your ass grabbed and having his tongue in your mouth afterwards; he starts to associate “love” and expressing love healthily with the reward of extreme physical affection. It’s not the healthiest thing to do (you should love someone without the extrinsic reward of getting to make out with them or grab dat ass without them complaining so much about it), but it’s the closest thing to a good relationship that you’d ever get with a Vinsmoke brother.

Ichiji (NSFW)

Dominant, and prefers to be on top most of the time. If he’s feeling lazy, he’ll have you ride him though.

Right after the whole “I might be able to experience love” realization, he only wants to have sex with his sunglasses on. There’s something about having his eyes covered that gives him a sense of security from whatever weird thing you’re doing to make him feel so strange, and he feels like if you’re looking into his eyes without something to shield him, he’s too vulnerable. And Vinsmokes do not like feeling vulnerable. 

He likes it when you’re rough during sex (scratching, biting, etc.), even if the marks don’t show for long due to his armored skin. It doesn’t even really hurt him, it tickles more than anything; still, he likes seeing this feisty side of you in bed.

Niji (NSFW)

In addition to buying you plenty of expensive blue clothes, he buys a bunch of different sets of blue lingerie. He doesn’t mind if he accidentally tears or rips whatever you’re wearing during sex; he’ll just get you another one. He has a special thing for stockings and pantyhose, and he also likes it when you wear jewelry he’s gotten for you during sex.

Despite his nature, there are times where he’s surprisingly gentle with you in bed. It’s a part of that misinterpretation of love; he thinks that if he’s affectionate and soft with you in bed, it’s a sign of love and makes up for every other horrible thing he’d done to you that day. He likes to hold you afterwards and play with your hair, and fall asleep with you in his arms.

Tends to switch between being on bottom or top, but he’s always the one in control. If you’re riding him, he likes to have a leash on you so he can pull you close against his chest. 

Yonji (NSFW)

He’s got the highest sex drive of the three, and he’s got no problem with initiating something with you in public. If you wanted to go somewhere private, he’d pout (he likes it whenever everyone can see you getting fucked by him, it’s a great confidence-booster!) but he’d drag you to closest empty room and fuck you against the nearest surface.

Despite how selfish he can be, he always wants to make sure you cum. He likes hearing you moan and cry out his name as you writhe in pleasure from how well he’s using his mouth on you. He’s constantly bragging to his brothers about how well he knows your body and how good he is at sex (as if it’s a competition to him. Though as a Vinsmoke, everything is a competition, so he isn’t that far off)

Unlike the other three, he doesn’t mind you taking the reins sometimes. Since he likes it when his partners are feisty, he likes seeing you try to take control; it’s just so cute that you really think you can dominate him. If you ever wanted to try something like tying him up, he’d think it was hilarious and agree to it (even if he could easily break through some flimsy ropes, it’s funny to pretend you’ve really got him in a bind)

He’s usually wired after sex instead of tired. He’s also usually hungry afterwards, so he’ll have a servant bring a bunch of food for him (and you, since he’s trying to learn how to be considerate). Has no problem hopping out of bed when they knock at the door, and grabbing the tray out of their hands while buck-ass naked. He also eats in bed with you afterwards, with one arm slung around your waist while he eats with the other.

[prolifeproliberty]

My Ideal Sex Education Program

is one taught by parents who have open lines of communication with their children. However, if that’s not happening and we need to teach this in schools, here’s what I would support:

Age range: Middle school through high school

Topics:

Anatomy/changes during puberty

EDIT: Adding in NFP/Fertility awareness (because I meant to include it and forgot!)

Pregnancy and fetal development

Sexual harassment and sexual assault, including “date rape” and statutory rape

ACCURATE information about contraception, specifically the typical use failure rates of the most common methods and what that means for teens.

The harmful and addictive impact of pornography, including its link to human trafficking. 

Neurological, emotional. and physical effects of sex

STDs

Abstinence for the purpose of risk avoidance (avoiding pregnancy, STDs, etc)

No such thing as “safe sex” because all sex carries risk, and that those risks can be avoided through abstinence.

Encouragement and tools for talking with parents about these topics.

And most importantly: 

A message that people can and do remain abstinent until marriage, and that it is their choice to make. Having sex in your teen years is not “inevitable,” it’s a choice that carries risk. 

This is based on my observations of my 7th grade students and what they talk about and are exposed to. I know I had students this past year who use PornHub. I know there have been pregnant students at my (6th-8th grade) school in past years. I also know there are plenty of students who are not having sex, and still others who have been fed the lie of “well, you’re going to do it anyway.” 

These students are being bombarded with messaging and expectations from our media and culture, which practically tells them they are destined to have sex during their teen years. They’re told that “everyone does it,” which makes those who are abstinent feel like they’re missing out on some key part of their teen experience. 

I even hear this from my fellow teachers, who act like these kids have no choice but to have sex and thus teach our district-mandated abstinence-only sex ed program with that defeatist attitude.

Too many programs either say “they’re going to have sex anyway, so might as well hand them condoms and talk to them about lube and sex toys” OR “we don’t want them to have sex, so we better give them as little information as possible so we don’t give them any ideas.”

How about instead we give students accurate, evidence-based information about sex, including the risks, and empower them to say no to protect their health?

[fiorashreehan]

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[thatsonemorbidcorvid]

Ladies, can someone please help clear something up for me?

Re. Radical feminist theory:

I’ve been getting increasingly confused by what I perceive to be a clash between two central radfem ideas, and wonder if anyone more familiar with the theory and evidence could help clear this up?

Idea 1: gender and gender norms are social constructs, with no bearing in biology or neurology. One’s sex does not impact one’s hairstyle or favourite toys, for example, because these are affected more by social norms and influences.

Idea 2: one of the reasons transing children is wrong (this autocorrect to trancing - I feel ‘trans trance’ should catch on), is because children who are/will grow up to be gay are more likely to be gender nonconforming, and thus pressured to transition (effectively conversion therapy). This is evidenced, though I’m not closely familiar with said evidence.

Idea 3: sexuality (and romantic attraction including attraction prepuberty) are to some extent biological or genetic. This is evidenced, though again I’m not familiar with the evidence.

Surely this is a contradiction in terms? If sexuality and gender nonconformity are so closely correlated, even before a child is aware of their sexuality, would this not suggest the two things have some common cause, or operate on the same axis? Meaning either that gender conformity is in some way biological, or that sexuality is in some way socialised? If either of these two ideas is the case, for me at least they’d send shockwaves through my world view - seeing as they’d either validate trans ideology (it is possible to have the opposite gender’s brain), or shatter central sexuality theory (sexuality is not biological and might in fact be open to change)?

Would someone familiar with the theory and evidence be able to help me with this?

[dillydedalus]

february reading

truly the month of the 2.5 to 3/5 star books

the testaments, margaret atwood y’all.... i was bracing myself for disappointment but yikes. the first half is semi-decent, with at least the storylines of aunt lydia’s (alleged) diaries and the testimony of a girl raised in gilead opening up some interesting themes (the third, from the pov of a canadian teen, is a fucking disaster from the beginning), but the second half genuinely reads like generic dystopian YA, it’s predictable & tropey & silly & the prose becomes bad, real bad, ‘is atwood okay’ bad. 1.5/5

paul takes the form of a mortal girl, andrea lawlor really cool & propulsive picaresque about paul polydoris, a queer student in the early 90s who can shapeshift (yeah) & explores what that means for his identity,  learning to reject attempts to force him into binary categories. it’s a fun read, but it felt a bit directionless (picaresque i know), and like... i read a lot of this on my commute & there really is nothing like sitting on the train, in a half-awake daze, and your book throwing a fisting scene at you. 3/5

delusions of gender: the real science behind sex differences, cordelia fine nonfiction book dedicated to debunking claims about the neurological basis of sex differences. it’s from 2010 so prob a lil dated (scientifically i assume, as well as a relative lack of intersectional analysis), but it’s a good overview of why such claims are often based on flawed or misleading studies (like one on toy preference where monkeys where presented w/ gendered toys, such as the clearly female-coded pan, which like... it’s a monkey...). the section on supposedly gender-neutral childraising was particularly interesting & depressing. 3/5

silence, shusaku endo (tr. from japanese by william johnston) historical novel about the oppression & persecution of christians in 17th century japan - the protagonist, a young priest, secretly travels to japan to find his mentor & ends up betrayed & captured, under threat of torture, struggling with his own doubts about his faith. it’s interesting but preeetty damn slow. also tbh i can’t really relate to the struggle of whether or not you should step on an image of jesus to save yourself or others from torture/execution. (to be fair depending on your reading god does break his silence to be like ‘dude. just step on the fucking image.’) 2.5/5

the garden of the finzi-contini, giorgio bassani (tr. from italian by william weaver) a melancholy novel in which a jewish-italian narrator looks back at his youth & early adulthood thru the lense of his relationship to the finzi-contini, a very rich jewish family whose daughter, micòl, he was in love with. although the narrative is slow and leisurely, the growing antisemitism and the narrator’s retrospective knowledge of what is to come makes this quite haunting & unsettling. what’s also unsettling is the narrator’s campaign of sexual harrassment against micòl in the end of the book, which is painted as silly, lovesick weakness, rather than, you know, harrassment. 2.5/5 why are men like this

white is for witching, helen oyeyemi i love an evil house, i love an evil house that gets to narrate (!!!), i love (conceptually!!!) an evil xenophobic white supremacist parasitic house that loves & starves its daughters. conceptually & thematically oyeyemi sets up a lot of really cool shit about haunting & grief & race/whiteness & yanno, evil parasitic houses that eat you from the inside, but i don’t think the resolution of these themes really works & a lot of the build-up just kinda deflates (the brother especially is kinda pointless). idk. i want to read more from oyeyemi tho. 2.5/5

vater unser, angela lehner (no english translation yet) the blurb for this is big cringe (’you’ve never seen a crazy person like this!’ like bitch i have to see myself every damn day) & the bones of this are not super original (mentally ill compulsive-liar narrator gets herself committed, manipulates everyone around her) but it’s pretty well-executed with a strong & funny voice, lots of austrian-specific weirdness, & a nice zippy pace. the twist is a bit predictable but still well-done imo. 2.5/5

interior chinatown, charles yu really smart experimental novel(ish) about one willis wu, struggling actor, trying to work his way up from Generic Asian Man to Kung Fu Guy in a strange shadow-world-version of chinatown where everyone is an actor & everything is part of the set. this strange half-world & the fact that much of the novel is in script-form are both really clever & also work really well in setting up the novel’s deeper point (i.e. not just that the film industry sucks if you’re any kind of minority, but that the stereotypical roles one is assigned in a culture have deeper repercussions in terms of identity and self-perception). it’s also a really funny books, and the epigraphs for each chapter are *chef’s kiss*. 3.5/5

die erfindung der deutschen grammatik, rasha abbas (tr. from arabic by sandra hetzl, no english translation) funny little collection of very short stories by a young syrian journalist & author who moved to berlin in 2014. the stories are for me most part about her experiences as a refugee, learning german, dealing with german bureaucracy & so on, often with a slightly surreal twist. fun but not super substantial or anything. 2.5/5

northanger abbey, jane austen tbh henry tilney is a condescending ass & the whole thing about him only falling in love with catherine bc she is so in love with him is a big yikes from me but it is so charming & funny (the thorpes! the narrator!) & catherine is so sweet, so ready to suspect gothic misdeeds & so naive when it comes to the much more commonplace cruelties that like, i still love it. 3.5/5

a thread of grace, mary doria russell historical novel about the nazi occupation of northern italy from ‘43 onwards, told thru various perspectives of partisans & resistance members, italian jews and jewish refugees in hiding, and catholic clergy involved with the resistance efforts. given that topic, it’s often brutal and depressing but there is always that (title drop) thread of grace in seeing the heroism of the partisans and the people who aided them & hid thousands of jewish refugees from the nazis. and russell just always brings so much humanity to her characters. not as good as the sparrow, but man, russell is great. 3.5/5

eure heimat ist unser albtraum,  ed. fatma aydemir & hengameh yaghoobifarah & many many others (german, no translation yet) 2019 anthology about racism in germany, what it means to be a minority in germany, and why ‘heimat’ (~home(land)) is a problematic concept. as it is w/ anthologies it’s a mixed bag & i will say that i don’t think it’s as radical as it presents as overall but i think the #discourse in germany just ain’t as advanced as it is in the us&uk. 3/5

currently reading: gideon the ninth (i have no idea what’s going on but it’s very stylish)