#Nothing happens but a certain cannibal is referenced

[sailorsenshishitposter]

DID YOU PRAY TODAY?

"Why are we doing this again?"

"Because it's Sunday and you have no school today. Now be quiet and let me continue!"

It was the weekend and Angel was forcing all the first and second year students to participate in a Sunday school session. As an apology, Hana had baked some cookies for everyone but they tasted more bland than her personality. When she wasn't looking, the group then went over to Itadori and used one of Sukuna's mouth hands as a trash can.

"I thought this series was supposed to be based on Buddihism and Shintoist beliefs?"

"It's Gege. He can add Abrahamic religions into his work if he wants to. Now let me get on with my lesson! Can anyone tell me the events that took place one thousand years ago?'

The whole class groaned. It seems that now they were also being forced into a history lesson.

"Didn't Sukuna get his ass beat?"

Angel then forced Hana to put a bar of soap in Yuji's mouth.

"Language Itadori! But yes, he was defeated. Unfortunately, my clan and Satoru Gojo's were nearly made extinct. This is why the fallen is such a dangerous enemy!"

"The fallen? Did he get dropped on his head as a baby or something?"

"Please you guys, I can hear him screaming in my head..."

"So he's throwing a tantrum? I guess he really is a toddler."

A mouth then appeared under Yuji's eye.

"Damn brats! Once I am free of this body I'll kill each and every of you, one by one!"

Angel then poured a liquid from a small bottle down his throat. Sukuna began to vomit more blood than when the door opens in the shining.

"...What did you feed him?"

"Holy water. It won't kill him but it should get him to settle down for now."

Ijichi was then called to clean up the mess. As the poor man scrubbed away blood, Mai went over to Maki.

"Have you seen this!?"

She grabbed her phone and put on JujuTube. There was another viral video from their cousin Andrew Tate/Naoya Zenin. He was doing another lame podcast.

"-and if that doesn't work, just give her a blackflash. It works every time. Anyway you can email me at AlphaRizzler2018@gmail.com or hit me up on my Twitter-"

"The old house still gets mail deliveries right? Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"I've already got a website in mind. Select expedite shipping and it should arrive in two hours."

____________

"And that's why God cursed us with sin! Now, can anyone tell me the way to salvation?"

Megumi was sleeping at his desk so Nobara slapped him on the back of his head.

"Jesus Christ!"

"That's right Fushiguro! I can see why Hana adores you so much!"

Hana then began to choke and Megumi raised an eyebrow.

"Nevermind, I don't want to know."

"All right students, have you ever seen an exorcism take place?"

"No offence, but we do that every day."

"Salmon."

"No, no, not a sorcerer style exorsim. I'm talking about removing demons from a possessed persons body!"

Sukuna then spoke to Itadori.

"Hey brat. Take these. I'm sure they will be of help."

How Sukuna managed to smuggle a box of DVD's was unknown.

"Why are you being so nice all of a sudden?"

The king of curses did his best to hold back his smirk.

"Don't worry about it."

Itadori then raised his hand.

"Hana sensei erm I mean, Angel, would these help?"

In his hands was a copy of bible black. "Angels have to do with the Bible, right?" he thought to himself. "This must be some kind of instruction video."

Angel's mouth then made a shocked look and then Hana was now being forced to swat Itadori with a wooden ruler.

"REPENT!!!!!"

"I'M SORRY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID WRONG! SUKUNA SAID IT WOULD HELP!"

All of a sudden a mouth formed on Yuji's cheek and began to laugh with glee.

"I should have figured he was behind this. Itadori, once class is over I'll give you a lesson about the sins of fornication..."

"WAIT, WHAT! PLEASE DON'T, I PROMISE I'LL BURN THE DVD'S JUST PLEASE DON'T GIVE ME THE SEX ED TALK!"

"Alright then. Just know that if you are lying to me than God shall strike you down!"

Nobara then moved her desk away from him.

"KUGISAKI!?"

"Hey, I'm not going to risk being hit by a thunderbolt because you're a teen boy!"

____________

"Achoo!"

Kashimo, the god of thunder then looked over his shoulder.

"Why do I feel like someone is talking about me behind my back?"

____________

"Why does no one believe me?"

Hana then clapped her hands.

"Is anyone here familiar with William Peter Blatty's the exorcist?"

"The novel or the movie?"

"Either is fine."

"Is that the one where the old lady crawls on the ceiling?"

"You're thinking of the third one."

"Wasn't that the favorite movie of some cannibal?"

"Hey Sukuna, what do you think of the exorcist three?"

"I don't even know what that is brat."

"Let me look it up on my phone. Hey Alexa, what year did the third exorcist film come out?"

"Who the hell is Ale-"

"The Exorcist three is the third film in the exorcist trilogy and based on the 1983 horror novel Legion-"

"We're getting off track! Can anyone detail the events that take place?"

"Doesn't a priest come along and tie a little girl down to her bed so she stops floating?"

"Close enough. Everyone, please help me push the tables together so we can tie Itadori down on to them.""Wait, what?

____________

As chaos began to break out, Maki and Mai were now scrolling through Naoya's Twitter account.

@NaoyaMasterOfSwag69

12:05

"Wtf? I just got home and my uncle is yelling at me! He says this kind of filth isn't allowed in our family but he literally screwed his niece. I'm going to ask my father what's going on."

12:10

"Dad's passed out again like usual. I tried to wake him up be he was drunk and mumbling something about dragons? He said it's in my room so I'll update you all."

12:20

"Okay, this has got to stop! I don't know who you are but this isn't funny!"

Below was a photo with various packages. Several items lay opened including three different bad dragon dildos along with some gay pornography. One clearly titled '17 naked cowboys in the showers at ram ranch'.

12:45

"I SWEAR I'M NOT GAY, I LIKE BOOBS! WHO'S WRINGING THE DOOR BELL!? WHY THE HELL ARE THERE A BUNCH OF MALE STRIPPERS!? HOW DID YOU PEOPLE GET THIS ADDRESS!?"

The twins then high fived each other.

____________

"SOMEONE, PLEASE HELP ME!"

Itadori was now pleading for mercy, having been held down against his will and forced to endure Angel's exorcism.

"THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELLS YOU! THE POWRT OF CHRIST COMPELLS YOU!"

Suddenly the door opened.

"What's he doing here!?"

It was none other than Kenjaku.

"What do you think you're doing!?" cried Angel.

"Taking my son out of your class, what else does it look like?"

"I'M NOT FINISHED YET!"

"Oh yes you are! Don't forget that I can sue you and all of Jujutsu Tech for forcing your beliefs on my son! Now come Yuji, let's get you out of these ropes."

"Please don't let him take me away! The last time he started going on about how my father was some kind of sex god!"

"I'm afraid there's nothing that I can do Yuji. You'll have to leave my class..."

"Come son, I got us tickets to Takaba's comedy special."

"SUKUNA, YOU KNOW AS WELL AS I DO THAT NEITHER OF US WANT TO WATCH THAT GUY PERFORM!"

Itadori got no response.

"Sukuna...?"

The next thing he knew and Yuji was covered in vomit.

"Gross! What did you eat!?"

"You all fed me those cookies, remember? I think I might actually die of food poisoning..."

How Hana baked cookies that harmed one who was immune to all poisons was a still a mystery. 

[peggyao3]

Relic - Pt. 4 "O God!"

PAIRING: Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x Unnamed Ambiguous FMC

SUMMARY: ✧༺༻ Dreams are messages from the deep ༺༻✧ A woman from the unknown comes to Feyd in his dreams and his nights become his days as he flees to the dreamscape to escape the nightmares that haunt his waking hours.

TAGS: 18+, smut, she/her AFAB FMC, vaginal sex, vaginal fingering, oral sex, Porn with Plot, Feyd-Rautha's black cum, Feyd-Rautha's big cock, Praise Kink, Body Worship, angst/hurt and comfort, drama, fluff, Frank Herbert would frown, some politics, implied/referenced (child) abuse ❗, Trauma, mentions of suicidal thoughts ❗, Healing, Strangers to Lovers, falling in love, Vulnerable!Feyd, Emotional!Feyd, Possessive!Feyd, Feyd is a sweet baby who did nothing wrong and I WILL pamper him, nurture not nature, Stockholm Syndrome but in a consensual way, lucid dreaming, implied/referenced cannibalism ❗, implied/referenced murder

WORD COUNT: 2.5k

A/N: Fluff meets oh God help us 😩

Reposted from my Ao3 💕| Masterlist | Relic Masterlist

Divider by @saradika-graphics

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Night 100

"Do you know that tonight marks our hundredth night together?" Feyd purrs, blue eyes glittering like little seas, shoulders rolling as he sways her in his lap.

"Is that why I get to be on top tonight?" Mirth laces her tone, rocking herself up and down with the aid of his hands. This barely counts as being on top when he does all the heavy lifting for her.

"You get to be wherever you want, my sweet."

She lets out a sultry moan, holding herself at the lowest point of Feyd's lap, relishing how deep he reaches, how completely he fills her when she has fully sank down on him, feeling the smoothness of his thighs against her behind. Feyd moans with her, suckling on her neck which is so beautifully bared to him.

"Really, you've been keeping count?" She mewls when Feyd begins to rock her anew, only little thrusts that make her walls flutter with growing anticipation.

"I have. I've made a tally chart."

That is so endearing to her that she laughs brightly and asks: "With chalk on the walls of your prison cell? I'm so sorry for holding your dreams hostage." She doesn't know how right she is, though it’s not the dream that is the prison. On second thought, what would happen if left through that door over there? They've never tried, because the things to be discovered within each other are of much greater interest.

She adds: "I haven't made a tally chart, but I did write in my diary after our first night. I was so certain I'd never have a dream like that again, I never wanted to forget it."

"What did you write?" Feyd inquires with sparkling eyes, now suckling on her collarbones and then her breasts, rendering her breath shaky and thick with lust when she replies.

"I wrote that I encountered the most wondrous man in my dreams last night and that I could touch him and it felt so real. I wrote that you have pretty eyes and a silly name. I may have also written that I've never come so hard in my life."

That lights a fire in Feyd's eyes and chest and he clutches her body to his tightly, rutting up into her cunt with his feet propped up on the bed. She seeks purchase on his shoulders, clinging to him. Feyd seems intent on exceeding their first night, and with the way her core coils, she thinks he just might.

"And what do you write nowadays?" He inquires with husky voice.

"That's a, haahhh, secret. It's a diary for a reason."

That doesn't quite please Feyd, but he is very pleased by her tone of voice on the edge of despair, spine arching, teeth gritted. His balls feel taut and ready to burst and he keeps his composure only for her. "Well, I want you to write about this night when you wake up, can you do that for me?"

"Yes! Yeees, haaaahhh~ Feyd!" She falls into the mindless embrace of climax, mewling his name, riding him with stuttering hips. It is less the feeling of her fluttering walls that makes him spill himself with a guttural sound, more the sight of his woman so disheveled, features painted in bliss.

When they've both calmed down from their highs, she sinks limply into Feyd's embrace, hearts thundering against each other. Feyd peppers her shoulder with kisses and she does the same to his. She likes his shoulders. After a minute, when her breath is a little calmer, she kisses his neck and jaws.

"That tickles," Feyd complains, scrunching his nose.

"You have a birthmark right here, did you know that?"

"You think I don't know my own body?" In fact, Feyd wasn't fully aware of the birthmark there, just at the underside of his jaw. He avoids looking at himself all too much and all too close, especially outside of the dream.

"It's very pretty. You don't have many birthmarks at all. So smooth." She drags her nose across his neck, blowing softly on him and Feyd flinches, cursing her lightly. That fucking tickles! Eventually, she finds something of interest, touching a spot at his neck with tender fingertips.

"What have you got there, another birthmark?" His voice comes as a light, raspy chuckle.

"No… A scar," she tentatively admits, tracing the blemished skin at the side of his neck. A small sickle moon whose tip brushes against his collar bone. Immediately, she regrets pointing it out, because only one thing comes to mind.

"A scar?" A scar he would remember. Feyd's hand joins hers on his neck, feeling the slightly marred flesh, a scar that's barely an inch long. "I don't have that when I'm awake," he pensively admits. The Baron never hurts him so far up.

Night 168

If only she had the resources and the time, she would have spent every waking hour trying to solve the enigma of her and the man named Feyd, would have done more than writing fondly in her diary, would have wired her body and brain up in a sleep lab and studied how their connection works, but she might never get the chance. No, she will never get the chance. How could that not devastate her?

She hasn't told anyone in her waking life about him. He is her wondrous companion at night, her best friend from a dream with whom she can run away, into whose embrace she can crawl to hide from everything and everyone, with whom she doesn't need to think.

Feyd hasn't failed to notice how restless she has been for the past week, her shoulders always tight, her gaze faraway and a look of guilt and pain plastered into her eyes so deep, not even his touch could melt her anymore.

Presently, his hands curl around the nape of her neck, entangling his fingers in her hair, nose sliding against hers as he slots his lips against hers in a desperate attempt to stifle his own bubbling inquiry. But she cups his cheeks and merely presses their foreheads together, cradling him like he's the most precious thing she's ever held.

Good manners might dictate that he doesn't pressure her, like she had never pressured him to bare his heart to her, but by all the Gods and all the galaxies, he cannot take it any longer and he will pressure her, because the growing unease and the lump in his throat are unbearable.

Surprisingly, she breaks under just a whiff of pressure, like a dam breaking from the removal of a single log. Feys cups her cheeks like she cups his, exhaling a heavy breath against her mouth, blue eyes open and inquisitive. She knows that they're open, so she opens hers and immediately feels stinging wetness spill over her waterline. 

"Tell me?" Half a question, half a demand. Feyd's thumbs rub over the tears that dampen the soft skin beneath her eyes.

"It's gotten s-so so much worse," she removes one hand from his cheek, twists her head to cry into her palm, though Feyd's thumbs remain on her face.

"The… war?"

"Of course, the war! I'm scared that we won't make it out alive, Feyd." She gnaws her lip, closing her eyes. She's lying. She's lying and Feyd must never know her horrible lie.

"Are you still safe?"

"Relatively, yes." She shakes her head, swallowing. Feyd calms his own heart and breathing. That is the most important thing, but he doesn't feel all too well about that 'relatively'.

"Is that really true? You've been so tense. No, don't cry. Of course I noticed." Feyd releases her face, embraces her instead so she may sob into his shoulder.

"Yes, it is. I really am relatively safe. I mean… A few days ago, there was an airstrike a few kilometers to the north and a breach in, uh, in our bunker. But we found and fixed it quickly enough. I was only feeling sick for a day or two."

To describe the place as a mere bunker is such an offense, she feels her own heart shrivel. She needs to tell him, but she can't. Such a fucking coward, pathetic!

Meanwhile, Feyd soaks up every word. He so rarely gets to hear details about her waking life, details that he craves more and more but simultaneously loathes. A heavy frown forms on his forehead, mulling over her words until he only tastes bitter rot and fear on his tongue. If this is relatively safe, how could he accept that?

"I don't know if I can dream while I- while I-"

"While what?!" Feyd snaps when she stops before the crucial part. "Stop speaking in riddles, woman, tell me what's wrong!"

She cannot tell him, or he will despise her for her privilege. It is unfair. There is a reason why people like her are envied, despised and pitied. They are privileged cowards.

"I wish we were together," she swerves but confesses truthfully. But the rules are strict, so it can't be.

Feyd senses his woman slipping out of his fingers metaphorically, no matter how tightly he squeezes her dream-bound body.

"And if I came to save you?" Madly, his heart beats against his ribs and his palms grow clammy with anxiety. She laugh-sobs, like she thinks that's an endearing proposition. Obviously, she doesn't know the power Feyd holds in the same hands that are holding her right now.

"The air space is tight and the land routes are sealed. We, oh God, we… went to orbit yesterday. Even if you had a suitable craft, you would be blown to bits on the way."

Feyd's frown thickens and blue eyes flicker questioningly over his woman's back and shoulder, as her face remains hidden in his neck, clinging onto him with raw fear of judgment.

She adds: "But I c-can't deny, I wish I could have seen you with my own eyes and touched you with my own hands. Even if it's only once." She cries harder and wetness slips down Feyd's shoulder. He cannot bear to see her suffer for a second longer.

He is ready for the singularity to break out of the black hole. To know her personally, intimately and emotionally in the flesh, outside of their dreamland cocoon. He will find her. He will see her in real life and hold her in his real arms. She will love him, it won't matter to her who he is, not to his sweet woman who has learned so much about him, more than any human alive.

"Where are you from?" Softly and calmly he asks her and the lump in his throat dissolves at once. Liberation. He's finally made his decision and never felt better.

Sobbing softly, she names him a place followed by a second place he's never heard of. Maybe a country, maybe a city.

Feyd shakes his head. "No… My sweet, from which world are you? I will get you out of there. Believe me, I can." 

Her sniffling abates and she raises her head, tear-streaked face knitted with confusion. "What do you mean, which world?" 

"Are you toying with me?!" Feyd is not in the mood for jest, because every minute counts. As soon as he awakes, he will order her rescue, and if he has to pay House Harkonnen's entire fortune to the Guild to provide a heighliner to the most distant world. "What's the name of your planet, my darling, I'll come and get you, just tell me the name!"

"Earth?" The corners of her mouth quiver. "I think you're toying with me." And she can't blame him. Everything is already horrible enough.

"From which earth?" Feyd is growing annoyed with her. Does his woman not want to be found by him? What does she fear?! Has he not proven over and over how he craves her, how he loves her? Would she rather be reaped away by some planetal war than be with him?

"I don't understand you," she meekly admits with a tightness in her chest. "From which world are you?" She laughs a little, but her features are warped into horror, like something is knocking at her own house of cards.

"From Giedi Prime, of course! I am Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen, na-Baron of Giedi Prime!" Feyd slams his fist against the mattress. There, he's finally said it. He expects her to pull away from him with fear now and look at him the way every foreigner looks at him, envious and disdainful.

"I don't know what that means," she admits, voice warbled. Perhaps his darling is confused out of her mind, perhaps she didn't hear him correctly. So, Feyd cups her face firmly.

"That means I'll come and get you. Did you hear me? I am Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen." All those months he had feared her reaction if she ever found out his full name. Now he wants nothing more than what he had so feared, that spark of recognition, disdain or not.

"Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen," she whispers tearfully, trying to giggle like she did when she first heard his forename. "I like that silly name." Tenderly, she traces the shape of his jaw, smiling through the tears.

"You like…? No, listen to me closely. You said you're in orbit. Is there a heighliner near?" She squints her eyes, a flicker of a frown, and fresh tears well. She isn't listening to him!

"I-, I changed my mind, I'm not going. I'll go back down and find you. Tell me where you live!"

"No, no, no you won't go back down, you'll stay where you're safe and I'll come and get you." Feyd is repeating himself, frantic by now, clutching her face with his thumbs rubbing over her cheeks with increasing pace. "Just tell me where you are, please."

"Stop, stop!" She pleads. Feyd sounds out of his mind, confused. Bless his heart, but he can't come and get her. "Tell me, are you safe?" Aside from the obvious, his uncle… 

"Yes, I am-" Feyd doesn't get to finish his sentence because she sobs with relief, throwing her arms around his neck.

"I hope I can dream, I pray." How nice that would be. How comforting. She wants to believe it with her whole heart. "Will you be with me?" 

"I will always be with you."

How wrong he is.

"Can you hold me please? I am so sorry."

Feyd holds her, holds her so tight that he almost convinces himself her flesh, skin and bones are real, her beating heart is real, her soft voice is real. "Tell me where you are," he cries into her hair. "Tell me where you are, tell me where you are, tell me where you are."

Consciousness' meandering tendrils weave into the dream, dissolving it slowly like ink in water, gently, gently… Neither of them realizes as the other fades into mist among the stars.

After this night, Feyd-Rautha never dreams of his beloved again.

I stand amid the roar Of a surf-tormented shore, And I hold within my hand Grains of the golden sand – How few! yet how they creep Through my fingers to the deep, While I weep -- while I weep! O God! can I not grasp Them with a tighter clasp? O God! can I not save One from the pitiless wave? Is all that we see or seem But a dream within a dream? - A dream within a Dream by Edgar Allen Poe, 1850

Tag list: @nostalgichoya, @sebastianswallows, @forgedfromthestars

Do let me know if u want me to tag u 👉👈

A/N: All I can say is I'M SORRY 😩🤭 And - P.S. - There are at least 9 more chapters left to go, so be not afraid 🫂

[fat-rolls-frictions]

document added to your inventory. transcript below.

CW: referenced self-harm, implied teeth horror, torture, unreality. @fiddles-ifs

(The document is marked as CONFIDENTIAL with various administration stamps and handwritten notes on the top margin. Much of the dates and serial numbers are illegible.

A ring stain from a cup is clearly visible on the bottom right corner.)

PARANORMAL INTELLIGENCE AND RESEARCH AGENCY

TRAINEE EVALUATION REPORT

Trainee's Name: Nguyen, Kim

Subject: Mission no.06 - Simulated Interrogation

Handlers: A. Itamura, V. Wallace

(Scattered throughout are fragmented phrases. They read: "who were?" "do you even care? do you" "you did not" "remember" "do you ever? di")

Addendum-120320A: Agents reported "unexpected" degree of resistance. Preliminary injuries logged. Mission proceeded without further complications.

("They have pliers.")

Overview: Trainee's previously recorded paranoia exacerbated after preparation period. Roommates reported heightened stress unrelated to anticipation of mission; effect attributed directly to trainee. Arrangements for extraction made with regards to trainee's evals and Dr. (redacted)'s suggestions.

Proceeding:

Trainee exhibited remarkable contentiousness despite several injuries, including a fractured collarbone and mild concussion. Agents instructed to secure with force given trainee's well documented volatility. Mission hook revealed. Dr. (redacted) correctly predicted that trainee would fail to respond to accusations of collaborating, or otherwise spearheading, the information leaks. Agents instructed to proceed with physical methodologies.

Stalemate achieved approx. 0500 hours after agent Itamura di ("his hands on your this pulp is not yours"). Trainee made multiple attempts to ("retaliate / retribute / requiter / illegible text"). Evidently unsuccessful (See A-120320B below). Trainee continued to redirect attention away from mission hook, oftentimes inciting, and appearing to relish retribution from agents. Previous psychological evals point to this being a product of mere belligerence. [break] ("It's the only thing you're capable of.") Nevertheless, agents pursued this lead to its completion, as is protocol.

Agent Wallace discovered healing injuries unrelated to mission at the 0619 hour mark. Injuries appear to be self-inflicted in nature, located in both inner arms. It was surmised that [break] teeth [break] match ("you didn't mean to but it happened what kind of person do this it just happened" "you" "tear into" "fuck off") unexpected emotional and psychological reactions. Agents authorized to remove part of trainee's sleeve in order to continue the interrogation.

(Overlay in the break, nearly illegible: "they pour water down your throat and it comes spilling out then he (illegible) hands teach you again the shape of your jaws you know intimately someone stupider would say-")

Incident C133-120320 took place at 0922 hours when agent Itamura prepared to [break] after several threats to [break] if trainee did not ("repent"). Neither agents anticipated the outburst. Agent Wallace remarked that [break] ("pliers")

("-bunny". The word "bunny" repeats several times after this instance in the margins.)

("sometimes you see people they do not stop even when they should even when" "metal on molars on gum on tongue" "you are horror under a pin with not dead cells taken off piece by piece a stream of un-consciousness good for nothing but self-cannibalizing desperate for something to fill your detritus a hate for something you can't name" "a you that do not" "are not")

("sometimes you see people they forget that they are people. sometimes that is for the best.")

[break]

Addendum-120320B: Itamura submitted for performance review after mission. Agent demonstrated certain lack of discipline in carrying out the mission and was influenced easily by trainee's provocations. Additional psychological eval recommended along side with physical therapy.

Incident log C133-120320: You cannot forget how bone feels between teeth.

("something hungers in the woods somewhere and it always finds you among the trees." This sentence repeats in the background, going off the margin.)

Department of Training. 21/02/(redacted)

("you had bunny teeth. you remember

someone

calling you

puppy

though.")

[writer59january13]

As a mortal man of threescore and five years...

I bore witness and/or assimilated, gleaned,

and nursed implacable thirst for knowledge courtesy reading factual narratives, historical fiction, or biography that since the advent of Homo sapiens avast number of civilizations and their discontents (throve and languished) their legacy peppered with historical achievements particularly military exploits

punctuated equilibrium by false sense of security

under_scored with relatively

long periods of peace

concluding with convulsive denouement videre licet self destructive elements of style sophisticated weapons of mass destruction

contrarily at the apotheosis of

scientific, mathematical, artistic...

adjudication, beautification, communication, demystification, exemplification, fortification, gamification, horrification, identification, jollification, lubrication, magnification, nazification, objectification, pornification, qualification, ratification, sophistication, testification, unification, vilification, yuppification, and zombification for starters.

Absolute zero rhyme or reason

how antithetical characterization against sense or sensibility such as actualization, brutalization, cannibalization, dehumanization, eroticization, fanaticization, ghettoization, hierarchization, idolization, jargonization, keratinization, literalization, mythologization, nuclearization, optimalization, politicization, quantization, realization, secularization, terrorization, urbanization, vulgarization, and weaponization.

While mulling over acceptable words that ended with either ication and/or subsequently ization, an attempt (albeit feeble) attempted to select multisyllabic words that mirrored the political landscape amidst the webbed wide world in general, and in the United States in particular, and unwittingly found me putting on my thinking cap to identify linkedin references to literature and mythology.

Though written approximately one hundred and sixty five years ago, the famous quote from A Tale of Two Cities is the which begins, ''It was the worst of times, it was the best of times'' The opening line, nearly a paragraph long, shows the extreme contradictions of the time and warns that the revolution could happen again.

Along the same vein yours truly (me) tapped Google for the following tidbit.

Ancient goddesses of vengeance, the Furies (or Erinyes) pursue and punish those who have sworn false oaths or betrayed sacred laws. In The Eumenides, they seek to punish Orestes for having killed his mother, Clytemnestra. They are monstrous to behold, and frequently work themselves up into fits of rage.

The above two examples of storied illustrating imagining, intimating foreboding just occurred to me out of the blue spontaneously coming to mind as handy dandy blues clue to captcha the essence of fraught perilous political winds a worse fate than "Death and taxes"

a phrase commonly referencing a famous quotation written by American statesman Benjamin Franklin: Our new Constitution is now established, and has an appearance that promises permanency; but in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.

No purposeful intent predetermined what I wrote impossible mission to slay the invisible monster looming at large donning windswept hair trumpeting growling sounds from his throat

spouting misinformation he blithely invents and whenever convenient doth self quote

without fail lambasts Democratic contenders with flat out lies, I cannot help but note

barging as some self important egotistical obstreperous maniac flapping his gums yacht ta yachta ya motoring mouth sturdy as a keelboat soulfully bellowing damn the torpedoes make America great again – what a hoot

never giving pause that such a supposed nostalgic age never existed except maybe when primordial poetry soup awash with many an eukaryote

a generic term that describes aqueous solution

of organic compounds that accumulated

in primitive water bodies of the early Earth

as a result of endogenous abiotic syntheses

and the extraterrestrial delivery by cometary

and meteoritic collisions, and from

which some have assumed that the one celled organisms

equally gifted to shoe away

what would become pesky Republican within a bajillion years one nasty brute.

[gyromitra-esculenta]

Even If the Waters Rise 3/5 (*cough*)

Shadowrun inspired Mermay part 3 out of *now* 5 - it’s a monster. In this edition: Drama, drama, and once again, relationship drama.

Also, warnings for the whole planned thing: blood, gore, and violence; cannibalism (human on metahuman); questionable jokes and questionable totem choices; ambiguous relationships; referenced limb loss/cybernetics/etc; mating cycles.

*

Give or take a few days, Jesse turns up three weeks later, lacking fangs or a sun allergy, albeit with a certain pallor to his skin and aversion to the light, but that's easily explainable by the obvious hangover he's sporting, the kind that comes with a days-long drinking binge.

"Broke up already?" Jack pours himself a drink and then slides Jesse the bottle with about half of its contents remaining. He obviously needs it more than Jack.

"Don't want to talk 'bout it."

"Good. Because I'm not interested."

He ends up with all the sordid details, anyway.

It takes over two hours for Jesse to explain that his perpetual stalker vampire ex dumped him two nights past the club incident due to him supposedly smelling like a wet dog that also found and rolled in some prime ripe carrion. Jack's not going to comment on that. To him, Jesse reeks of his cigars first and foremost, and maybe under this odor hides a note of wet canine fur, mangy and full of dust - reminiscent of petrichor but more acidic and scratching the throat if inhaled too deeply or closely. Now, it's also alcohol sweat. But those two hours are enough for Jesse to get himself back into the drunken stupor.

Jack relocates him to the couch and orders take out - settling for some suspicious pizza as the safer option out of the available, even if he has trouble deciphering the ingredients. Someone out there probably knows what exactly 'sea chicken baby' is.

To his morbid astonishment, the 'Chicken of the Sea' turns out to be a sea cucumber, bland as fuck if not for the cheese and the sauce - and he's comfortably sure it would taste better raw than baked. He eats two slices and leaves the rest out on the counter for Jesse - and the state Jesse's in, he would probably be happy with a trashcan left out in some alleyway to pick through.

By the looks of him, that's a fair assumption to make, and not at all mean or undeserved.

But the question of how Jesse tracked him down remains. Their hidey-holes over the whole coastal area number in closer to a hundred than a fifty, so it's either an incredible draw of the luck (including the dang spirit dog) or someone had pointed him in Jack's direction. He brings it up during the check-in with Sombra, sure to vent his general disposition at both Jesse's intrusion, and the required daily contact.

"I think some responsibility would do you good," she brushes him off, "so take care of the puppy instead of moping by yourself for days."

"Maybe, just maybe, I do have a reason to mope," Jack snaps at her, "ever thought about that one?"

Sombra sighs.

"I don't know what had happened between you and Gabe, but..."

"Oh, you could, just load it up."

He immediately regrets going off on her, it's not her fault. Only it is her fault, in an illogical and convoluted way - because right now, he needs someone to blame and that someone will not be him.

"I'd never do that unless you want to show me."

Fuck this shit. He's tired and emotionally drained - he didn't even think it was possible.

"Listen, Jack," Sombra continues after he fails to answer her, "you have no idea what ice I had to get through just to send him a message, and the moment he got it, he just dropped everything and walked out of the meeting."

"Yeah, his asset was malfunctioning."

"Whatever happened, you're taking it hard, and you need something to occupy your time because sitting around is doing you no favors to your state of mind."

"Then find me something to do that doesn't include babysitting the human disaster all broken up over my couch."

"The fleet." Sombra mulls something over and Jack, elbows leaning on the windowsill as he finishes his drink, looks over the almost empty street below. "I'm running into walls and I'll need help with some more traditional intel gathering."

"You need hired muscle."

"The gist of it, yes, I need someone to beat some people up so they cough their contacts up, but I'm still pursuing some other venues right now."

"Tell me when you actually have people to rough up, the downtime's killing me, and this place's a total shithole."

"I know. I'll have tickets for you and the puppy tomorrow, and I need you to keep him on a leash because you're going to Yakuza-land for the foreseeable future." He can feel her smile trying to be reassuring pressed against his thoughts. "And you have a meeting scheduled."

"Yeah, about that, one, the only thing I know is 'shakuhachi shite' and 'arigato'," Sombra laughs muttering 'oh god', "and two, he can send them again through the proxy."

"Listen, you don't really want that. And that wasn't even 'fuck off'. That was dirty talk, Jack."

"Figures. I'm..." Jack sighs, massaging his temples. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. Earlier, I mean."

"I know."

"I'm just, I don't know, angry? Not with you, you did what you had to, but... It's too much, all of it, and I'm sorry."

"I know. You'll work it out. It's okay."

"Fuck. Thanks, I guess. I'm not thanking for dropping the mongrel on my unsuspecting lap, though."

"You're welcome." She signs off and Jack pulls the plug out.

Even the mere prospect of meeting up with Gabriel after the incident gives him what he can describe only as anxiety. At least, that's what Jack decides to peg it as, something jumbled and all tied up in knots, and self-hating, and making him feel useless.

Nibbling on the third slice of the pizza and watching the sun go down, he knows what it really is, but refuses to give it the proper name. Calling it anything else lets him pretend it's nothing important and go about his life like nothing's different, even if it is - threatening to topple over and crush him under.

When Jesse starts moving, Jack forces him under the shower and his clothes into a washing machine. The thing is done with its load before Jesse is, and he dumps the debatably cleaner garments on the couch - the coyote is looking at him with an expression on its snout that's far too intelligent for his liking, half-mocking, and half-challenging. Jack turns the serape the other way. The coyote, apparently, takes a short hike all around the fabric to end up facing him again, and he could probably get into a trial of persistence with it but has a sneaking suspicion he would lose.

Fuck it. It can stare at him through the back of the couch as he undresses.

Jesse, predictably, ambles out to the shower and straight to the counter to assault the leftover pizza with the zeal of a person starving for days.

"Switch your SIN," Jack instructs him after he catches Jesse's attention with a tactical application of a ballistic shoe.

"What? Why?" Jesse mutters between the mouthfuls.

"We're flying to Japan tomorrow, would be best not to have Yakuza waiting on the ground for you when we get off."

"Why the fuck JIS?"

"Yakuza's probably involved with the fleet Som's tracking."

"They are. Fucking racists."

"You know that?"

"If anything has to do with harm to metas in the region, that's a safe bet it's them." Jesse wipes the oil from his mouth with the back of his hand, and the hand on his stomach. Of-fucking-course. "Say, we gonna be anywhere close to Hanamura?"

Jack sits on the bed, taking off his pants.

"Nowhere close. Everyone knows you there, and you're too recognizable." He stares at Jesse with contempt. "You just broke up with your main ex, you're not getting into another mess with another ex of yours. Don't make me tie you down."

"Nah, that about other business." Jesse stretches and walks around the counter in all his naked glory, stopping when Jack points with definite distaste on his face to the couch.

"You're still wet, the bed's mine, and the dog was giving me attitude."

"Whatever you say, pardner."

Jack cannot blame the sleepless night on Jesse, not directly - he doesn't snore, but maybe his presence has something to do with it. Regardless, his ensuing horrid morning disposition makes Jack snap at Jesse more than once, which Jesse completely ignores, or is simply oblivious to.

After he sends Jesse out with the trash and to wait for the car, Jack gives the flat the last once-over, making sure nothing personal is left lying around - unlikely they'll ever use the safehouse again, but good practice is good practice, and it's best not to tempt the fate.

The trip to the airport is relatively short and eventless, he only has to remind Jesse to switch his SIN once before they board. Jack pushes his bag into the overhead compartment and shuts it with a bang, taking his time before he sits and buckles into the seat.

The moment the plane rolls down the tarmac before takeoff he has to quash down his instincts screaming at him to get up and run. The lurch of wheels losing the contact with the ground below has Jack hunched and holding his head between his hands. Twitching at every suspect sound and tremor of the hull, he has nothing to distract himself with on the flight as his mind runs circles around images of a fiery inferno.

"Dude, have you tried taking something for it?" Jesse tries to start a conversation.

Jack shoots him down with a muttered 'fuck off' before returning to fighting to keep his stomach where it usually is and not in the vicinity of his throat where it battles for space with his now frantic heart. Two hours stretch into an imperceptible eternity of pure torture. Jesse waits for him to regain control of his shaking hands when the plane lands. They disembark among the last of the passengers.

The airport is a reconstructed dream of a crazy architect who, faced with a substantial lack of land, built it floating on water. Jack navigates them through the terminals to the water tram while keeping one eye out for anyone trying to latch onto their trail, hoping they look both intimidating and luckless enough to not attract the attention of any lookouts. It's not his first time in JIS, and, ironically, their best bet is using public transport. Some three years ago, the situation would be different, with the welcoming committee already waiting to bus him to his destination. Now, those bridges were burnt, and the goodwill was gone.

"What's the first rule?"

Jesse scoffs, sprawled on the seat, taking up two spaces realistically, legs kicked up to rest on the back of the seats in front of him to the distaste of the attendant.

"Not gonna risk Yakuza ink, even I'm not that stupid."

Jack stares at him with doubt.

"Except that one time."

"That one was different."

"I'm at loss for words," Jack rolls his eyes. "The second rule?"

"Don't antagonize the local racist shitbags?"

"Yeah, that. And the third?"

"Don't fuck with Yakuza."

"Good one."

"Nah, dude, not gonna go to Hanamura and fuck around, I need to go north later, check out something," Jesse shrugs. "Find someone to talk about that bear spirit because that shit was bad, man, real awful shit."

"I suspect you'll have time to do that. We can go together."

"Nah, no hard feelings, dude, but bear people don't trust that easy."

"Suit yourself," Jack rolls his eyes and nudges Jesse to get up as the tram lines up with the embankment. The taxi that drives them to the hotel rips them off, counting the normal rate several times over. Being foreigners, they are expected to pay more than locals for the same services, and making a scene would only add to the expenses - there's either some notation in the contract that would render any complaint null and void, or the local arm of the law would dismiss it anyway after they had at least ticketed them for creating a disturbance - if not outright put them under arrest on some bullshit charge. Well, Jack's not going to bother with it, it's not his money.

The hotel is one of those ridiculously posh ones, and he and Jesse draw curious glances as they pick up keycards from the reception area.

"Man, that's what I call life," Jesse announces after opening the alcohol cabinet, the first destination he chooses after walking into their shared room. Jack glances at the clock and just like that his heart is back to hammering against his ribs. He leaves his bag on the table.

"I'll be back tomorrow, do nothing stupid while I’m gone."

"Nah, jus’ gonna get stupid drunk and watch some holos."

Jack shrugs and heads out, leaving Jesse to his own devices, hoping he will stay true to his own words and not wander outside, especially not when drunk.

Gabriel's apartment is several floors up and Jack opts for stairs this time. The flight was enough excitement for the day, and the thought of forcing himself into the elevator fills him with revulsion on the spot. Halfway up, he realizes he’s only delaying the inevitable.

The heavy thing settled in his stomach is dread - and maybe, for the first time in his life, his instincts work as they should - screaming at him to run away, no matter where, just away, as he presses the card against the reader and keys in the code. Little late for that, huh? He pushes the door open, wincing at the breach of protocol: so wrapped earlier in his own thoughts he forgot about sending the text. The pad lies in the bag left with Jesse.

"I'm here," Jack announces to the room. His voice falls flat, even to his own ears. Gabriel looks over his shoulder while the screens in front of him flicker off one by one. Fucking dramatic, as usual.

"I can see it."

"I hate flying," Jack scrambles for an excuse - he doesn't need to, but it feels like he does - shrugs noncommittally, holding Gabriel's gaze. The mounting tension in the room seemingly affects only him - some misplaced power struggle Jack loses before it even began - and he breaks away the eye contact, turning away and stepping deeper into the suite. "There has to be a different method to get around."

"It is the most effective one."

The voice sounds too close, following Jack as he sheds his clothes.

"Maybe one that hits the orbit, I heard weightlessness is somewhat like swimming." He can at least give his honest opinion if they're on the subject.

"If the need arises for one."

Yeah, probably any launch of the type is conspicuous and more likely monitored, from the utilitarian point of view only reasonable if the speed is the key. Fuck that.

Jack loses the rest of his garments with the skin on the nape of his neck prickling under the scrutiny. Whether it's imagined or not doesn't matter, it's wrecking his nerves either way.

It's his turn to look over his shoulder, at Gabriel standing some distance away - shifting finally and coming closer to the bed.

"I wasn't aware flight provokes such high levels of stress for you."

Jack bites back the obvious answer - that unless he's bothered to know there's a lot Gabriel doesn't know about him - and the only time he cares to know is when it interferes with the operations. Won't lie to himself about the malice hidden under the thought.

"Now you know."

"Noted."

With Gabriel's thumb raising his chin up and the red and black eyes boring into his own, Jack falls back into the sheets. The sex is great, amazing even - it always is - but there is a certain measure of detachment that prevents him from losing himself in the act.

There's an invisible wall between him and Gabriel, one that wasn't there before, and the more Jack thinks about it curled up on his side, the more he realizes the fault lies with him, and him alone. Things have changed - he has changed - not Gabriel, and neither the arrangement. It's just a business transaction.

Trying to untangle the jumbled knot inside is like picking at an itching scab, only to discover there's pus underneath and nothing's healing. And it won't heal, not when Jack cannot pretend anymore he doesn't care, no matter how much he wants to. If that's what love is, it's a fucking miserable thing he wouldn't wish on anyone; he wonders if his past self also felt the same and he's merely stuck in following a preset rut. After all, the world is a cycle, isn't it?

Wanting Gabriel gone to let him sleep alone is a new one. So he can wallow in misery and self-pity in peace without the subject of his one-sided affection at his back.

Yeah. Love's an absolute utter bullshit, that's what Jack tells himself, staring at his own reflection in the still surface of the lake, fingers trailing in the water. The weathered wooden planks, blackened with tar, are far from the most pleasant to lie on - but the sun bearing down on his skin feels good and allays the discomfort.

The ripples born from his hand idly moving distort his reflection until Jack cannot recognize it anymore as his. And it isn't his, it's something else looking back at him from below the surface. Before he has time to react clawed fingers wrap around his wrist. The shining scales fading in and out of the skin glitter in the light with each minute shift.

It yanks him down with surprising strength

His skin scrapes on the wood - the water is cold - so cold - his lungs hurt with the lack of oxygen when he frees himself from the grip pulling him down - but the safety is far away - too far - and hungry mouths filled with sharp teeth latch onto his flesh.

He drowns.

The ending is the same, it's the rest of the dream that changes.

Lying cradled against Gabriel's side, with the arm wrapped around his waist and the palm resting on his stomach, Jack remains still, trying to wrest his thundering heart under control. Why he even bothers to remains a mystery because there is no viable way Gabriel isn't aware he's wide awake. What's left for Jack is to enjoy the rare closeness, something he's hard-pressed to; the satisfaction eludes him nonetheless while he watches Gabriel work. The screens close and reappear, once or twice prompted by the hand gesturing at them.

Jack tries to focus on the simple sensations: the warmth of the skin, the smell of the ocean, the lingering touch, but soon, it becomes unbearable, this picking at the open aching wound.

He moves away - the arm around his waist slackens and lets him go - and he sits up, disentangling himself from the sheets. Gabriel's attention remains focused on the screens, and Jack struggles for something to say.

"I'm going to take a shower," he mutters in the end, sliding off the bed.

The oppressive feeling of being observed and considered fades after the bathroom door closes behind him.

Of course, the whole room is done in subdued pink - salmon? - with elaborate cherry motifs running unbroken all around the walls with slight hints of darker colors. It's probably pretty and charming, and not at all tacky and lacking any real character or individual touch. Hotels always were like that.

The bathtub looks inviting, and Jack knows he could stay here for days by himself, but the reasons he's loath to are twofold. Jesse definitely constitutes one, the other one being the place that will make him think about Gabriel, and Gabriel only, the distractions available superficial.

Jack steps into the shower and, standing under the rain of warm water, he presses his forehead to the cold tiles. The voice inside his head provides him with an incessant background chant of 'you broke it' until he can't bear it anymore and punches the wall in frustration. The tiles crack.

He has no idea how long he's been in the bathroom - but Gabriel is gone when he walks out.

The pillbox lies on the pillow almost like an afterthought. Jack puts it in his pocket after gathering all his things.

He opts for the stairs again.

What he's not prepared for is Jesse scrambling to look at him over the back of the chair as he enters their room. Jack raises eyebrows at him.

"Shit! Dude. You're, like, glowing, but look like a kicked dog, but seriously," Jesse blindly reaches back behind himself for the open can of beer sitting on the small table, "you're bending the whole flow around you!"

"The what?" Jack notes the smell of cigars in the air, laced with something else, acrid and heady.

"Mana." Jesse sips from the can. "You got a fuckton of magic on you, like, a lot."

"Great. There's to hoping it won't kill me." Jack throws the jacket on the couch, sits in the other chair next to Jesse, and helps himself to the unopened can standing in the middle of empty ones.

"Don't think so, if it's bad, you'd be, like, dead ten times over, what with the potency. No spirit, for sure."

"Great. I feel nothing."

At least now, he had the explanation for Gabriel's clothes trick. Jack opens the can and downs half of it in one go.

"Offense meant, dude, but you got the sensitivity of a low-flying brick, and that means the only sensitivity you got is in the poor dude you're gonna brain."

"Thanks, I guess." Jack chuckles, toasting Jesse with a flourish. "Tell me," he vaguely points at himself, "if it does something weird."

"Will do. Wanna anything stronger with that?"

"That's what stinks in here?"

Jesse looks at him with his eyes pinched.

"Maybe."

"Pass, don't want to fuck up my lungs any more than they already are."

"Dude. You can breathe water, lil bit of smoke not gonna fuck them up."

"Still a pass." Jack finishes the beer and finds another can. "As long as it's not something you can be busted for, go ahead yourself."

Jesse snorts, apparently amused by his comment.

"It's all natural. Like, herbs and shrooms." To illustrate, he picks up a small baggie containing flaky brown fragments. "I smoke 'em, but go as well on the tongue."

This is a terrible idea. And Jack's tempted.

"No," he answers with a delay. "Especially if that's what gave you the mutt, might be contagious."

"Suit yourself." Jesse pulls out a cigar from his pocket and lights it, puffs on it lightly. Jack leaves it without a comment while flipping through the channels on the holo. They're both left with nothing to do for the foreseeable time. Jesse is more than content to spend the days idling: doing nothing but smoking, drinking, and watching tv, but Jack ventures out twice. He gives up on the whole idea of spending time outside of the hotel room soon.

He had forgotten how bland and hostile the whole of the JIS is to him despite the colors and the flashing lights, the music, and the chatter that never stops, or the cities that never sleep. It's a sea of humans only, maybe one or two occasional elves, almost no other metas, which serves to remind Jack that outside of the metropolis it's even worse.

Finding a place to drink and eat he's let in, not to mention not being faced with outright disdain when it becomes obvious he doesn't speak a speck of the language, is too bothersome.

Being confined to the hotel is not the worst thing in the world, Jack decides, not with his surprisingly stable mood, and the fact he's not fixating on the whole situation with Gabriel - only sometimes - and earthly mundane distractions are forthcoming. The majority of it, he thinks, is easily attributed to whatever Jesse's smoking the copious amounts of, and he himself is probably getting high on the fumes by the virtue of widely understood osmosis. Or ingestion. Call it what you will, it works wonders.

The idyll of the carefree quiescence ends with a dream in equal measure disturbingly different, and uncomfortably concordant. His feet are in the water - the waves wash up to his knees. He can feel every grain of sand on his skin: pressing in, irritating, ignored.

Pleasant warmth spills deep to his core, radiates from the bodies pressed to his sides - there's one hand slung over his chest - another carelessly pushes the elbow into his stomach - Jack shifts to remove the discomfort, and as he does so, he senses everyone else moving too. Like dominoes, every change of position prompts a chain reaction following down the line.

Lulled into half-sleep, this strange place in-between lucidity and unconsciousness, his eyes remain closed even with a familiar weight pressing down into almost the entire length of his body.

Something cold tickles his face and Jack finally looks up, at the silhouette cut starkly in the expanse of the pale blue sky, Gabriel's long wet hair brushing against his nose and cheeks, droplets of cool water splashing on heated skin giving him goosebumps.

Jack lifts his arms up. His fingers lock behind Gabriel's neck as he's spread open on the sand, a strange kind of pride bursting in his chest with each bite that draws blood from his skin. Nothing else exists or bears any importance but this one singular snapshot of time dredged from god knows where.

Jack freezes with his eyes wide open, his fingers almost breaking the surface of the water. The sensations - all so very specific and precise, unlike the vague suggestions of the usual dreamscapes - the sand scratching his arms and legs, and the back, the irritation lingering even now. The synthskin, even the kind slapped on his limbs, is never good enough to allow for the definition of the input and the interpretation on the level of the natural skin.

Dredged up. His own thought.

There's a sinking feeling, a frightening idea, that it's a memory. And it's not his. Jack schools his breathing; the jealousy at the effortless intimacy mixed with the shame of being an unwilling observer of someone else's intimate life swirl under his tongue. Or it's all jealousy. And spite. He grips the edges of the bathtub and pulls himself upright.

At the clinking and shuffling from the side, Jack turns his head to see Jesse tucking himself into his pants and buckling his belt.

"Christ, dude, you scared the piss outta me, like, for real."

Jack shows him the finger.

"How does your skin stay on, anyway?"

"It's just what it does? It's only fingers that do this dehydration thing."

"I don't mean that, and don't do this 'rise from the watery grave' shtick when I'm trying to take a leak," Jesse rolls his eyes, a gesture he's so fond of. "Almost pissed all over the wall."

"That's a 'you' problem, not a 'me' problem," Jack mutters, heaving himself upright and snatching a towel off the rack. He wraps it around himself while stepping out of the bathtub.

"Would be a 'you' problem if I'd turned around when you did the 'I live' routine."

Jack snorts, giving Jesse an appraising look supposed to convey his opinion on the subject matter, and moves to the main room - dripping water everywhere - where he sinks into his usual chair.

"By the way, I got my stuff arranged, so I'll be splitting in the evening later."

Jack acknowledges it with a grunt. With Jesse gone, he will probably be about ready to climb walls with the dearth of things left to do. Or return to drinking alone, which, arguably, is far from anything approximating a healthy coping mechanism.

"And you forgot toes. And the soles."

"Hm?"

"The prune looking thing, the feet do that too." Jesse drops back to the couch and plays with the remote. "That's stuff from the time we were all water monkeys, and so we could grab stuff better in water."

"No bullshit?"

"Nah, real stuff, that's why we like water that much. Some of us, at least, that's, like, where we should be most of the time."

"Cool."

"You're still a freak, though," Jesse salutes before opening a beer he has grabbed earlier from the cooler. "No hard feelings, right?"

"None. But, with the world as it is, isn't the whole evolution argument kind of moot? No-one accounted for the magic, did they?" Jack picks the plate with the remnants of yesterday's late-night snack up from the table and tries to discern if anything on it looks poisonous yet. Fried shrimps appear acceptable, to be honest, though the oil probably is a bit stale, Jack decides.

"Now, here, my dude, my friend, is the heart of the matter all those dudes who say a big man, or a big woman, or whatever in the sky did it don't get they get wrong."

"And that is?"

"And that is that even if that's all a fart of some higher power in the sky, it's still a creation, see? Someone sneezed, stuff crawled outta that sneeze, and the world began, it's still their word, ya know?"

Jack nibbles on the shrimp, deep in thought.

"Let's call that 'the great primordial snot theory' and never mention it again, deal?"

"Deal. Sounded better in my head."

"No," Jack lets out a defeated sigh, "you're onto something, but I'm definitely not going into the ramifications of a sneeze being the breath of life."

"But it has a nice ring to it."

"Yeah." Jack focuses on the shrimps, paying only nominal attention to both the show playing in the background and Jesse's mutterings while he slowly gathers his belongings that spread all over the rooms they've shared so far. Later, Jack escorts Jesse to the cab waiting for him, grips his hand for longer than needed when they shake.

"What's the main rule?"

"Don't get inked. Dude, who do you take me for?" Jesse snorts, trying to look offended and failing.

"A moron."

"Fair. Take care."

"You too."

Jesse ducks into his seat in the back of the cab and Jack shuts the door behind him - staying for a moment to see the car speed away from him before he returns to the hotel and for the first time considers the relative wasteland of devastation the room has become. After he pushes everything from the coffee table into a trash bin, he returns to the chair and checks in with Sombra.

"Feeling maudlin, are we?"

Jack shakes his head.

"What gave you the idea? Anyway, you still in Frisco?"

"Yes. Better access points to JIS networks."

"Right. Didn't cross my mind this might be the reason."

"There's good news too. When you get back from your meeting, I'll have a package waiting for you."

The meeting. He's on the last three doses remaining. Anxiety surges up in a sudden spike at the realization. He's been avoiding dwelling on the matter so well he pushed it almost entirely out of his mind.

"A package?"

"Some additional gear we will need to start digging, how to say it, organically."

"Beat people up, you mean."

"Yes," Sombra trails off slowly, a question in the air.

"Go on," Jack urges her, and after a lengthy pause, she continues.

"You never told me you only have nightmares."

"I have other dreams too." He's pretty sure of it, especially after the last one.

"Jack. Every time you enter the REM phase, you have repetitive patterns of stress. Listen," Sombra sighs, probably reading his silence the wrong way, "I wasn't... keen on sifting through all your data, I don't like infringing on your privacy more than I have to, but Gabe insisted on it, and it could've been avoided if you had talked about having problems."

"They're not really problems, though."

He can almost hear her mentally counting down.

"You consistently downplay your pain levels, you don't dream save for reliving the trauma you'd suffered, and, Jack, I tried simulating your brain activity, I clocked out after three minutes."

"I'm used to it."

"That's the thing, you shouldn't be used to it, it's not normal," Sombra huffs, and Jack's sure she's throwing things right now wherever she's physically at by now. "I'm angry with you, we'll talk tomorrow when you get the package, and I'll be less angry."

She disconnects without prior warning, leaving him alone. But that's the thing about pain, you become numb to some of it, Jack thinks, until it becomes just the background radiation of your life.

He takes a quick shower and finds a clean set of clothes to change into.

This time, Jack remembers about keeping the pad on his person, and sends the text as he climbs the stairs yet again, somewhat amazed at how three whole weeks have passed unnoticeably with Jesse there to keep him occupied - he's not going to lie, he's going to miss the bugger. Not the conversations, per se, but rather, the general awareness of his presence. Even if everyone is living their own separate lives outside of the operations, getting together is not so bad, after all.

Jack stops at the doors to the same suite as before. The code is unchanged. A few calming breaths and he walks in.

That's the thing about the constant pain, it doesn't disappear, it just numbs you down - it's a sort of resigned weary acceptance to his situation that leaves a dull ache in its wake, nothing earth-shattering anymore, but it's still there. The half-smile Jack musters at the sight of Gabriel observing him is surprisingly genuine, even to him himself. He can, and will, deal with it. His problem, not anyone else's.

"Long time no see," Jack quips at the inquisitive rise of Gabriel's eyebrow. "Hi, and all that jazz."

He doesn't expect an answer. There is none, save for Gabriel stepping closer, and Jack throws his hands around his neck while his heart flips in his chest - constricts into a singular point of fear and doubt - the touch on his hip giving him something - anything - to grab onto. Grounding, as is the finger raising his chin.

The red and black eyes regard him with moderate interest - observe and scrutinize - pass the judgment on him; Jack leans in against the instinct telling him for once to run and hide from the apex predator before him. But, has he ever listened to it when it urged him to do anything but fight? Not that he can recall such an incident.

In a small act of defiance, Jack catches Gabriel's lip between his teeth, scrapes the tip of a canine on the fragile skin on the inside, hard enough to draw blood. He waits with the bated breath for the reaction, taken aback by a sparkle of what could be amusement in Gabriel's posture, and the kiss, now tinged with the metallic aftertaste, deepening, becoming more forceful, his body pulled flush against Gabriel's, a hand on the nape of his neck.

Jack stumbles over his own feet while being led to the bedroom, lost in the kiss until the backs of his shins hit the edge of the bed, and with a gasp of surprise he lies on the covers - almost falling but also held and lowered - peeled out of his garments, and out of control. Having Gabriel's attention focused on him - and only him - makes Jack's head spin each and every time, regardless of the circumstances; a near-religious experience if he ever had to put a name to it, not unlike the moment the drifting dragon gazed at him - and through him.

He wanders back to the dream - the memory - of the beach, of the coarse sand biting into his skin; Gabriel's locks that have slipped from the low ponytail tickle his cheeks and nose as his fingers dig into Gabriel's shoulders, trying to find a way to bring him even closer. Maybe even to leave a mark - a sign of permanence - something that cannot be denied sunk beneath Gabriel's skin in a desperate attempt to put his claim on him before Jack dissolves in the smell and the taste of the ocean rushing over him, the whirling current pulling him down.

But this is what Jack knows: he is not willing to give this up, this bittersweet torture. It doesn't come as a sudden realization, more like a long-standing knowledge now unburied and close to the surface, driven home with the weight of the moisture hanging on his eyelashes. He reaches out and finds Gabriel's palm, twines their fingers together - always amazed at the contrast and the faint dark red lines following intricate patterns melting into the color of Gabriel's skin - pulls it close to his chest, its back pressing against his heart. Covers both their palms with his other hand and curls around it.

No matter how much it hurts, no matter how much it will hurt, he's not going to give this up because the alternative is far worse, it's being abandoned and empty, and lost, and having nothing but that deep-seated ache.

Like this, he can at least pretend, Jack muses, slowly drifting off.

The first time he wakes up, it is to the darkness of the night and fingers combing slowly through his hair, Gabriel's hand still held close.

The next time he opens his eyes, it's morning, and he's alone in the suite – the pillbox waits on the pillow.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

2010s Art: Music, Games, and TV

So I love all forms of art. It may not seem like it since I tend to stick mainly to movies, with the odd cartoon or video game thrown in, but that’s really because movies are more my thing due to not being massive time investments. Like, don’t get me wrong, I gamed, I watched TV, I listened to music, but it was a lot more casual than my deep dive into becoming a major cinephile.

With games and TV, it was mostly issues of money and time respectively. I have a few consoles, mostly Nintendo and Sony ones, and my wife helped me experience Xbox games, but I just don’t have the money needed to experience every good game that comes out. With TV, the time investment is the biggest roadblock, especially when all the best shows have hour-long episodes these days. With movies, I just have to spend 90 minutes to two hours on average; for TV, it’s countless hours I could be watching movies. As for music… well, I listened to a lot, I just don’t feel totally qualified to properly rank and list songs and albums.

So instead of the big decade-spanning list for movies that I’m doing, I’m going to go over some things I enjoyed from the past decade and maybe a few things I didn’t in music, TV, and video games. Here’s a little guide so you know what stuff is something I consider one of my absolute favorites in any given medium - if it’s from this decade, it will be in bold, and if it’s from a previous decade but I experienced it this decade, it will be underlined.

Television

I figured I’d get this out of the way first since it’s the medium I have the least experience with. Let me put it this way: I have seen only one season of Game of Thrones, the first one (and by all accounts I dodged a bullet by dropping that show). I also had the misfortune of jumping in to The Walking Dead right as it was gearing up for its abysmal second season, which turned me off that and led to me only watching an episode here or there. 

I had better luck watching live action shows on streaming. I managed to get through almost all of Pretty Little Liars on Netflix, which was a chore in and of itself; it’s a good show, but boy could it ever get arbitrary and frustrating. Speaking of Netflix, I think it goes without saying that Stranger Things is their best effort; from the likable cast of kids to the awesome soundtrack, even though it never really surpasses season one the show always has something cool going on in one of its plots. My other favorite from Netflix would probably be their take on A Series if Unfortunate Events, which is how you do adaptation expansion right; everything they add feels like it’s in service of fleshing out Lemony Snicket’s dismal world, as well as giving Patrick Warburton an incredible dramatic role as the Lemony narrator himself.

Amazon managed to score two hits in my book. The first is the unbelievably fun and charming Good Omens, a miniseries that somehow got me to love David Tennant and Michael Sheen more than I already did. The second was the gory joyride that is The Boys which while not the smartest or most original superhero satire is definitely the most fun.

While I didn’t watch the whole show and would not consider it one of my favorites, I do want to give props to Hannibal for introducing me to Mads Mikkelsen. As far as I’m concerned, he’s the only person aside from Hopkins worthy of playing everyone’s favorite cannibal. Another show I DO consider a favorite despite slacking on keeping up with it is Ash vs. Evil Dead; I only needed to see a single season of Bruce back with the boomstick to know this show was a masterpiece.

On the animated side I have much more to talk about. Not since the 90s have we been spoiled with so many genuinely great and varied cartoons. We got Adventure Time, Regular Show, Steven Universe… really, Cartoon Network raised the bar this decade and made up for an awful 2000s. They even finally gave Samurai Jack a conclusion, which despite the mixed results, was still a real exciting phenomenon to experience.

Of course, my favorite CN show came from Adult Swim. I am of course referring to Rick & Morty, a fun sci-fi adventure comedy that attracted the most obnoxious fanbase possible in record time. While certainly not a show you need a high IQ to understand and having an atrocious third season, it still manages to be funny and thought provoking in equal amounts. Seriously though. Fuck season 3.

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is another great show that I sadly fell off the wagon of around the fifth or sixth season. It never got bad of course but it never really engaged me like the older episodes, though what I’ve heard of the last season makes me wish I’d kept up with it. It was a great show with a lot of heart and character, and I’m not sure we’ll ever see a show like it again.

Netflix did not slack in the animation department; I didn’t catch their most famous show (it’s the one about a certain Horseman) but I did catch their fantastic take on Castlevania, which as a huge fan of the series was a real treat. Where the fuck is Grant though?

My two favorite shows of the decade, however, are what I see as the pinnacle of East and West: Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure and Gravity Falls. 

JJBA is a series I had vague passing knowledge of, only knowing its existence due to seeing Stone Ocean referenced on the Wikipedia page for air rods when I was younger and, of course, the memes that spawned from Heritage for the Future, which were inescapable back in the day. As soon as I got into the series, it became one of my biggest inspirations, teaching me you can be deep, complex, and filled with great character interactions while also being so batshit insane that every new and absurd power is incredibly easy to buy (looking forward to the rainbows that turn people into snails, animators). They managed to get through the first four parts and start up the fifth over the decade; so far my favorite part is four, mainly due to the magnificent bastard that is Yoshikage Kira (played time perfection by D.C. Douglas) and in spite of serial creep Vic Mangina playing the otherwise lovable asshole Rohan Kishibe.

Gravity Falls on the other hand is just a fun and engaging mystery show that manages to excel at being episodic and story-driven all at once. There’s only one or two “bad” episodes across two seasons, and it lasted just as long as it needed to, wrapping things up with a satisfactory ending that still gave fans a few mysteries to chew on. It also gave us Grunkle Stan, perhaps the greatest character in all of animation, the pinnacle of “jerk with a heart of gold” characters who is hilarious, badass, and complex all at once. This is my favorite western animated show…

...but then the last year of the decade threw a curveball and, if I’m being honest, is on par with Gravity Falls: Green Eggs and Ham. Netflix really wanted us to know 2D animation is back in 2019; between this show and Klaus, the future is looking bright for the medium. It’s a fun, funny roadtrip comedy that knows when to be emotional and when to be funny, and it’s all filtered through the wubbulous world of Dr. Seuss. It’s just a wonderfully delightful show.

And on the subject of JoJo, I had a kind of love-hate relationship with anime this decade. The attitudes of anime fans turned me off from anime for a long while. Sure, I checked out stuff like Attack on Titan and Sword Art Online, but neither series really clicked with me. The main anime I loved this decade were ones that started in the 2000s and ended in the 2010s, like Dragon Ball Z Kai and Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood. I suppose I did enjoy My Hero Academia, which is a really fun show with an awesome and varied cast and great voice acting. Love Froppy, best girl for sure.

One of the most unfortunate things about this decade was how many great shows got screwed over by their networks. Sym-Bionic Titan, Thundercats, and The Legend of Korra were all great shows in their own right but were treated like shit by their respective networks. It really makes me upset that stuff like that not only happened, but continues to happen to this day.

But let’s not end on a bad note; let’s talk about the astounding returns old shows got. Invader Zim got a movie as did Hey Arnold, with the latter in particular finally wrapping up the dangling plot threads, but those are actual TV movies so they don’t really fit here; what DOES fit is Static Cling, the triumphant return of Rocko’s Modern Life. A forty minute special, it follows Rocko and his friends as they navigate the modern age, trying to bring back Rocko’s favorite cartoon. Rachel Bighead’s arc in this in particular is pretty groundbreaking and awesome. 

Also awesome was the first few episodes of Samurai Jack’s return, though it did end up petering out halfway through the season and ended on an anticlimactic note. Still, Tom Kenny’s Scaramouche, the sheer amount of continuity, and the awesome final curbstomp battle against Aku are worth giving this a watch. And if nothing else, stuff like this gives me hope for future revivals. What will we see next? Gargoyles comeback? Batman Beyond continuation? KENNY AND THE CHIMP REVIVAL?! Chimpers rise up!

Music

Much like everyone, I listened to a lot of music this decade. There was a lot of shit, and I definitely used to be one of those “wow no one makes good music anymore” morons, but I grew out of that and learned to look in the right places.

Let’s start with the albums I loved the most. Continuing her meteoric rise from the 2000s, Lady Gaga drooped her magnum opus, Born This Way, an album that successfully showcases her skills as she takes on numerous pop styles. No two songs sound the same, and with a couple of exceptions every song slaps. While we’re on the subject of pop stars, Gaga’s contemporary and lesser Katy Perry managed to hit a home run with the fun bit of pop fluff that was Teenage Dream.

Weird Al was sorely missed for most of the decade, but what albums he did drop featured some of his best work. While Alpocalypse doesn’t hold up quite so well, it’s still solid, but even then it is blown out of the water by Mandatory Fun, an album that just refuses to stop being funny from start to finish. And that’s not the only funny albums this decade; aside from artists I’ll get more into later, George Miller AKA Filthy Frank released Pink Season as one of his last great acts as his character of Pink Guy. The album is as raunchy and filthy as you’d expect. And then for unintentional comedy, Corey Feldman dropped Angelic 2 The Core, an album so musically inept that it ends up becoming endearing; it’s The Room of music.

As I gamed a lot this decade I got to experience a lot of great video game soundtracks, but the two I found to be the absolute best were Undertale and Metal Gear Rising’s. I couldn’t tell you which soundtrack is better, and I’ve actually made a playlist on my iPod containing my favorite tracks from both games. Pokemon had solid soundtracks all decade, but they definitely were better in single tracks such as Ultra Necrozma’s theme from USUM and Zinnia’s theme from ORAS.

And speaking of individual songs, there were a lot I really loved. The disco revival in the easel ide half of the decade lead to gems like “Get Lucky,” “Uptown Funk,” and… uh, “Blurred Lines.” The controversy to that one might be overblown, but it sure isn’t anything I really want to revisit.

Corey Feldman may be the king of unintentional comedy, but this decade was seriously ripe with so bad it’s good music. The crown jewel is without a doubt the giddy, goofy “Friday,” but I think the equally stupid but also endlessly more relatable Ark Music production “Chinese Food” is worth some ironic enjoyment as well. 

Meme songs in general were pretty enjoyable, though it came at a price. Remember when everyone tried to be funny by ripping off “Gangnam Style?” Remember when people took that Ylvis song at face value? Irony and satire were lost on the masses. I think the best mene song of the decade, though, is “Crab Rave,” a bouncy instrumental dance track with a fun music video and an absurd yet hilarious meme tacked to it. And then we have “The Internet is for Music,” a gargantuan 30 minute mashup featuring every YTMND, 4chan, Newgrounds, and YouTube meme you could think of (at the time of its release anyway),

Then we get into artists. Comedy music was great this decade, with Steel Panther and The Lonely Island putting out great work all decade, but by far my favorite funny band is Ninja Sex Party. Dan “Danny Sexbang” Avidan and Brian “Ninja Brian” Wecht are pretty much my favorite entertainers at this point, with them easily being able to go from doing goofy yet epic songs where they fuck or party to doing serious and awesome cover albums where Dan flexes his impressive vocals. A big plus is how all of their albums are easily some of my favorites ever, with not a single bad CD, and that’s not even getting into their side project Starbomb. These guys are a treasure.

Then we have Ghost, a Swedish metal band who play up the Satanic panic for all it’s worth. These guys captured my interest when I heard the beautiful “Cirice” on the radio, and despite that song rocking the fuck out, Imagine my surprise when it ended up being only middle of the road awesome for this band! With killer original songs like “Rats,” “Mary in the Cross,” and “Square Hammer” to a awesome covers like “Missionary Man” and “I’m a Marionette,” it’s almost enough to get a guy to hail Satan. I think they appeal to me mainly because they have a style very in line with the 80s, most evident on tracks like “Rats.” 

While I’d hesitate to call him one of my favorite musicians yet (he is really good so far though), one of my favorite people in entertainment is Lil Nas X. From his short but sweet songs that crush genre boundaries to his hilarious Twitter feed, this guy is going places and I can’t wait to see what those places are.

And finally, the guy I think may be one of the greatest creative geniuses alive and who has nearly singlehandedly shaped Internet culture with everything he does… Neil Cicierega. While it’s not like I only discovered him in the 2010s - the guy has been an omnipresent force in my life since Potter Pupper Pals debuted - he definitely became the guy I would unflinchingly call the greatest artist of our time over that period.   Whether he’s releasing the songs under his own name or as Lemon Demon, you can always be sure that the songs are going to burrow into your brain. His Lemon Demon album Spirit Phone, which features songs about urban legends and the horrors of capitalism, is easily my pick for album of the decade. And then under his own name he released three mashup mixtapes: Mouth Sounds, Mouth Silence, and Mouth Moods. All three are stellar albums, but only Mouth Moods has “Wow Wow,” the bouncing track about homoerotic bee-loving Will Smith and outtakes so good they deserve to be on the next album.

Video Games 

Having a PC this decade was great because it let me experience a lot of games I probably wouldn’t have otherwise, like Half-Life, BioShock, Earthnound, Mother 3, and Final Fantasy VI and VII. All of these and more are among my favorite games of all time now, but we’re here to talk about the stuff from this decade I consider great.

It’s hard to talk about this decade in gaming without mentioning Skyrim. Yes, it has flaws and the main storyline is a bit undercooked, but there’s so much fun to be had dicking about in the wilderness it’s hard to be too mad. And if you have mods, there are endless opportunities to expand the game. The same is true for the other game I have sunk countless hours into, The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth. Not only is there a thriving modding community, but it has been supported and encouraged by the creators and some mods have even made the leap into becoming fully canon! It’s always a blast to revisit and see how far I can break the game with item combos.

Surprisingly, Batman managed to get not one, not two, but THREE awesome licensed games this decade! Arkham Asylum, Arkham City, and the unfairly maligned Arkham Origins all kick as much ass as the Dark Knight himself. The former two reunite Mark Hamill and Kevin McConroy as Joker and Batman while the latter features numerous stellar boss battles. The combat in these games is so graceful and fluid, you WILL feel like Batman at some point, be it after flawlessly clobbering two dozen mooks or silently eliminating a room of thugs before they even realize you’re there.

Pokémon had a bit of a rocky decade; it started out strong with the fifth generation, the best games in the series with a great story, region, and sidequests and then just went downhill from there. Not incredibly so, of course - the games were always fun at least - but gens VI through VIII were not the most graceful steps into 3D. Still, every gen managed to produce some of my all-time favorite Pokémon. Gen V had Volcarona, Chandelure,  and Meloetta; Gen VI gave us Hoopa, Klefki, the Fairy type in general, and a gorgeous mega evolution for my favorite Pokémon, Absol; Gen VII had the Ultra Beasts and Ultra Necrozma, some of the coolest concepts in the series, as well as Pyukumuku; and Gen VIII gave us Cinderace, Dracovish, Dracozolt, Polteageist, Hatterene, Snom, and Zacian. And those are just samplings mind you, these gens are full of hits.

Bringing back old franchises yielded amazing results. Look no further than the triumphant return of Doom in 2016, which had you ripping and tearing through the forces of Hell with guns, chainsaws, and your bear fucking hands. This game is HARDCORE. Less bloody and gory but no less awesome was the return of not just Crash Bandicoot, but Spyro as well in remakes that are easily the definitive ways to experience the games. And don’t even get me started on the remastered DuckTales!

Platinum games did not fuck around this decade, delivering Bayonetta 2 and Metal Gear Rising. The former is a balls-to-the-wall sequel to the amazing original Bayonetta that, while lacking in bosses quite as impressive as the first game’s, is more polished and has a fun story and a better haircut for Bayonetta; the latter is an action game so insane it makes the rest of the Metal Gear franchise look tame in comparison. The latter in particular is in my top ten games ever, with every boss battle feeling epic, all the music kicking ass, and Raiden truly coming into his own as a badass.

Speaking of Metal Gear, the divisive The Phantom Pain easily earns its place here. While much fuss has been made about the game being “unfinished,” it still has a complete and satisfying ending even if it doesn’t totally wrap up the dangling plot threads the young Liquid Snake leaves behind. The overarching themes as well as Venom and his relationship with characters like Kaz, Paz, and ESPECIALLY Quiet make this game, with his and Quiet’s being particularly beautiful and tragic. The Paz quest, Quiet’s exit, and the mission where Snake has to put down his men after they get infested with parasites are all some of the most heartbreaking moments in the franchise. But it’s not all tears; there’s plenty of fun to be had harassing Russians in Afghanistan while blaring 80s synth pop from your Walkman. Oh yeah, and fuck Huey.

The Ace Attorney series also thrived, with both Spirit of Justice and Dual Destinies transitioning the series into 3D a lot more graceful than some other franchises while still maintaining the with and charm the series is known for. And if that wasn’t enough for my point-and-cluck adventure needs, Telltale had me covered with The Wolf Among Us and the first season of The Walking Dead. The stories and characters of those games are so good, it’s enough to make you sad they never got a timely sequel or sequels that weren’t shit respectively.

This decade is when I really got into fighting game, though I’m not particularly good. I supported Skullgirls (and am even in the credits!), and got into Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3 and JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: All-Star Battle (and I also got into its spiritual predecessor, Heritage for the Future). But by and large my favorite fighting game of the decade and the one I’m actually pretty good at is Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, the most ridiculously ambitious crossover in video game history. The fact that the game is STILL getting more characters added is a testament of how insanely great the game is because instead of being mad that there’s so much DLC, people are going rabid waiting for news of more. It’s such an awesome, complete game out the door that the DLC feels earned rather than half a game being held hostage. Other devs, take note!

A lot of franchises put their best foot forward for sequels. God of War III was an awesomely bloody finale to the original journey of Kratos, with more epic bosses than ever; now he’s off fighting Norse gods, and I hear that game is even better! Portal 2 is just an absolute blast, and easily surpasses the first game on the merit of having Cave Johnson alone; the fact we get Wheatley and the malfunctioning personality cores honestly feels like overkill. Then we have BioShock… 2. While it’s certainly not as good as the first game, I think it was a lot of fun, and it got way too much flak.

 I think it definitely aged better than Infinite which, while still a good game in its own right (it’s hard to hate a game with a character as endearing as Elizabeth), definitely was not warranting the levels of acclaim it got with such a muddled narrative. “Overrated” and “overhyped” are not words I keep in my vocabulary and I certainly would not describe Infinite as such, but I do feel like people got swept up in the gorgeous visuals and the story bits and characters that are effective and so weren’t nearly as critical of its flaws. It’s still a good, fun game with an interesting world, but it pales in comparison to the other two BioShocks. I feel like The Last of Us is in a similar boat. That being said, I couldn’t tell you why; it has a great story, good characters, plenty of replayability, and fascinating enemy design. But despite all that, I appreciate this game more than love it. It’s the Citizen Kane of video game sin that regard at least.

I’d be remiss to not mention the big indie successes of the decade. Shovel Knight is easily one is the greatest platform era ever made, taking everything great about the platformers on the NES and SNES, removing the bullshit, and delivering numerous bonus campaigns with unique playstyles. Then there was Abobo’s Big Adventure, a marvelous mashup of all sorts of games starring the beloved Double Dragon mook as he goes on a bloody quest to save his son. It’s a blast and there is tons of variety but some sections are definitely as hair-pullingly difficult as the games that inspired them. And then there is Doki Doki Literature Club, the free visual novel that brutally subverts your expectations. Sadly, I do feel the game loses some impact on subsequent playthroughs, but it’s still a great, effective story that skillfully utilizes meta elements.

Still, the greatest indie success of them all is Toby Fox’s masterpiece, Undertale. Charming, funny, emotional, and populated by a cast of some of the most fun and lovable characters ever conceived, this game was an instant smash and is still talked about to this day. Sure, things like Sans have been memed to death, but it’s hard to not just love and cherish the beautiful world Toby Fox managed to create. This game may not be the greatest game of all time, but for what it is I wouldn’t hesitate to name it the game of the decade.

There was a lot of great art in the 2010s, and while I couldn’t get around to all of it, I’m so happy with what I got to experience. Here’s hoping that the 2020s can be just as amazing!

[kegareki]

What are your top three stories from each list?

i could’ve answered this a lot quicker if i didn’t write summaries for the stories in 2 of these lists LOL the bolded two are the ones i 100% recommend

from the “engaging reads” list:

in “the earth is online”, strange black towers appear all over the world. for six months, they do nothing; as people research their origins and possible effects, they become strange parts of the landscape. conspiracy theories abound. what do the towers mean? how did they get here? what will they do?

then, on november 15, 2017, an announcement comes from the black towers. “the earth is online. in three days, all players are asked to eliminate any player. this is including, but not limited to, games.”

at the end of those three days, 400 million people are left on earth.

the black tower provides them three rules. one: the black tower will explain everything. two: the game time is between 6:00am and 6:00pm. and three: all players, please strive to attack the tower.

this is a survival/adventure/mystery, and it’s done so well. i cannot recommend it enough. the worldbuilding is incredible, and the characters actually fit into the world and are shaped by it. the characters--from the main characters to recurring characters to side characters--are all individual and distinct; i forgot names sometimes but i’d always remember who they were through their words and actions.

there is romance involved, but it doesn’t take precedence over the story being told, and the attraction and progression of their relationship from wary strangers to people that they understand and trust without question is believable.

(trigger warnings: depictions of violence and cruelty, as well as (the aftermath of) cannibalism and monsters eating humans. there’s a lot of death and murder.)

"don’t pick up boyfriends from the trash bin” follows the typical chinese transmigration system BL pattern of “at the time of death, the main character is offered a second chance by a mysterious system, on the condition that the main character completes a series of trials”.

the main character, chi xiaochi, transmigrates to a certain number of worlds of varying difficulties into the body of someone who has been wronged in some way, and the completion of his trial depends upon the “regret level” of that person’s partner. when the “regret level” reaches 100, he moves on to the next world.

in-story, it’s mentioned by his system that most players increase the partner’s “regret level” by becoming a tragic figure and allowing themselves to be abused and then die. chi xiaochi is unique in that he thinks mainly of the original owner of the body that he has transmigrated into: how can he seek justice for the ways in which they have been hurt? how can he put them into a better position? how can he give them a future?

from what i’ve read so far, there’s a level of care for the original owners of the body that just... isn’t present in a lot of other transmigration stories, and the direction that this takes the worldbuilding looks promising

(trigger warnings: implied/referenced rape and abuse of varying natures. the first arc involves emotional abuse and isolation tactics employed by the partner. the second arc involves implied/referenced rape and physical abuse.)

“i play the role of (villain/heroine) in a japanese-style otome game” takes a long look at the isekai genre and follows the typical pattern of “the heroine is a beautiful and naive young lady with a special gift rare in its occurrence and power; everyone is attracted to her as a result” until it doesn’t. what does it mean to have a special gift if that gift will inevitably cause someone to try to kill you? what does it mean to have a special gift if that gift is, by its nature, something coveted by an entire species, and your non-human classmates want to eat you?

what does it mean to have a special gift if you can’t save your best friend with it?

i haven’t read this in a while so my memory’s rusty, but i remember being really taken aback at the direction it went in. gathering a reverse harem isn’t for love; it’s to figure out a way to save the “villain”, chako. the “heroine”, yui, keeps going back in time and keeps doing things differently and keeps approaching different people in hopes of controlling the increasing variables involved in chako’s death

(trigger warnings: a lot of death and manipulation of characters’ feelings.)

from the “feel-good” list:

“ghostly masked prince xiao: pampering and spoiling the little adorable consort” involves a 20-year-old college student of the modern age transmigrating into the 9-year-old body of chu qingyan in ancient china. through circumstances that are meant to harm both her and the 19-year-old male lead, they become engaged. the male lead, xiao xu, is the first prince, but his mother--despite being empress--had not been beloved and therefore neither is he. he’s very much a tragic hero: although filial and of upright character, although his actions have always been for the betterment of the empire, he has never been loved by his family and has always been viewed as a tool.

all of his previous fiancees have been murdered before their wedding. chu qingyan is a child, and he doesn’t want her to die. he gives her opportunities to leave and orders his subordinates to aid her in her escape--but, unexpectedly, she stays, and thus begins one of the fluffiest stories that i have ever read. xiao xu doesn’t know how to take care of a child and asks his military generals how to treat children. as you can imagine, their response is “dote upon them!”

xiao chu is earnestly doing his best to treat chu qingyan right, and in her own way, chu qingyan is doing the same for him--especially as the story progresses and she discovers more and more about his past and the ways in which he has been treated by people that were supposed to love him.

i’m sensitive to age gaps in relationships and i don’t know how i’ll feel about, like, actual romance between the two of them, but right now it’s just. a teenager is given a child and is experiencing a “loving family” for the first time in his life. is experiencing what it is to look at a child who depends on you and know that you would do absolutely anything for them. and it’s so sweet and heartbreaking

in “reborn little girl won’t give up”, the titular character is reborn into a world that involves magic and monsters. she is born to a noble family that maintains the barriers that surround their kingdom in order to keep the monsters out. her mother dies during childbirth, and for the first while of her life, her father and her older brother cannot stand to see her as a consequence; but once they begin interacting with her, they can’t not love her.

things go well until they don’t.

the main character is kidnapped to the boundary of the barrier, and moments before she can be saved, her mount--a dragon who has come to see this child as one of its own--flees to the frontier outside of the barrier. if not for a group of hunters that come across her, she would have died.

now her goal is to find her way back to her family--while also making new family along the way.

“death progress bar” follows shi jin, who transmigrates at the time of his death into the body of a character with the same name, from a novel that he had read. the novel’s shi jin has five older brothers who had tormented him and eventually led to his death; the transmigrated shi jin enters this world soon after the death of the novel shi jin’s father, and discovers that he has a “death progress bar.” as his system explains, when the number reaches 999, he will be taken over ‘by the story’ and be led to his death.

the bad news: the progress bar is only a few points away from 999.

one of the ways in which to lower the progress bar is to get as far from his brothers as possible, so he gets away from them--only to stumble across a new person and a new progress bar: the system’s “darling,” lian jun, whose death factors seem completely different from his own. lian jun is also the head of an underground organization whose protection greatly decreases shi jin’s death progress bar.

new goal: find a way for both of them to survive.

the romance is slow and sweet, and--very uncommonly--the male lead is compelling in his own right, separate from his relationship with the main character. i find him likeable as a person, not just as a romantic prospect.

this is a feel-good without being necessarily fluffy or sweet. reading it just makes me happy.

(honorable mention to “there will always be protagonists with delusions of starting a harem”, which is written by the same person who wrote “death progress bar”. it’s another transmigration system story where the main character has to go to a certain number of worlds and complete a task; in this case, the task is to “prevent the protagonist’s harem,” because the harem will somehow result in the end of the world. the main character and the male lead fall in love during their first world together, and at the end of the task when the system asks if he would like to move on to the next world, the main character chooses to stay within the current world. it is only after the male lead’s death that he continues on to the next world… and, there, he discovers that his partner has reincarnated, as well. in every world, they find each other.

in order to aid with the prevention of the harem, there are progress bars for every harem member that are “the likelihood of falling in love with the protagonist.” they begin at 100, and the goal is to get them to 0, thus breaking their flag and ensuring they will not become part of the protagonist’s harem. the main character’s thoughts on these characters and the dropping of their progress bars are frequently funny.)

for the “guilty pleasure” list, i’m not going to write summaries because these are. very guilty pleasures.

“nurturing the hero to avoid death”

“if i happened to tame my brother well”

“our binding love: my gentle tyrant”

[realtalkgames]

The Forrest (GAME EXPLAINED)

This is a guide to the story in The Forest. The story is currently more or less complete, though the game developers will probably still add to it. This page attempts to place all the assorted story pieces in chronological order. It mostly covers major events, as the rest of the story is left somewhat unclear. The story is the background of the game. Much of the story is optional, and in many cases, can be completely ignored while still beating the game, such as in the case of a speed run. Many story items can be found that add to the story, some of which can be added to the survival guide in the notes section. In the to do list, the first task listed is 'Find Timmy'. This prompts the player to begin exploring the peninsula and to advance the story. Ending the game unlocks creative mode. After ending the game, the player can continue playing to the same save file. The Peninsula It is assumed that The Peninsula is located in Canada or another similar northern location, due to the climate, animals, geography, and location of the developers. It comprises the majority of the setting for The Forest and includes both an extensive below-ground cave system and large mountains, in addition to the basic forest floor. It is assumed that the caves suffer regular cave-ins, due to both the sounds the player can hear while in the caves (rocks tumbling) and the fact that several bodies (such as the Christian Missionaries below) are in an area only accessible by the rebreather yet come from a time period without such technology. The Ancient Ones Across the island, ancient-looking obsidian doors, artifacts - such as the Obelisk - and structures can be found. Some of these structures require sacrifices of some sort, including live human beings. These suggest a 'Lovecraftian' sort of ancient power. As well as that, mummified corpses can often be found near and around the doors, corpses that were left alone by the cannibals, suggesting the doors and the things found near them predate the cannibals (or perhaps the corpses weren't good to eat). This suggests that the use of the resurrection obelisk produces misshapen mutants, such as the Armsies, Virginias and mutant babies, (also seen prior to the boss fight with Megan Cross), and that it has been used before the first truly notable visitors - the missionaries - came to the peninsula. For reference, please see the Virginia Sketch and the Latin Paper. Christian Missionaries At some point (probably late 19th or early 20th century), many Christian missionaries or priests came to the peninsula. The Latin Paper, presumably belonged to said Christian missionaries, can be found in an abandoned camp in Cave 1 surrounded by aged items such as raw dynamite sticks. The Virginia Sketch almost certainly belongs to the missionaries, as it is drawn in the same fashion. It can be found near the grey tents with Bibles and crosses that seem to be a hallmark of the missionaries, along with being near lots of mummified corpses, praying to an obelisk drawing. Due to the presence of the Latin Paper, it can be assumed that the group of missionaries were Roman Catholics or similar, including someone with decent knowledge of church Latin. They left many Crucifixes scattered around the place, along with crosses projected on to walls sometimes near their heavily decayed and mummified corpses. Bibles too are a frequent find near their old camps and inside the caves next to the corpses. Their corpses are often left alone and mummified, which suggests a sudden catastrophic event which led to their death. According to the Latin Paper, the Missionaries encountered a four-legged woman, most likely referring to Virginia. This would mean that mutants at least were already on the peninsula at this point, further pointing towards the artifacts as the cause of the mutants. Sahara Sahara Therapeutics purchased the peninsula at some point to conduct its experiments on "eternal life" and resurrection through the obelisks, and built a complex system of offices and research labs, stretching as high as the mountains to deep below the ground into the caves. The Jarius Project was probably first marketed as a program, whose aim was to heal terminally ill children. These initial test subjects may have been sick children whose parents had volunteered them for participation in clinical trials at the facility where they were relocated to and continued receiving medical treatment. It's possible that Dr. Matthew Cross began experimenting with the artifact by using a living child to revive one that had died. However, this would in turn result in the death of the submitted child, who themselves would subsequently need to be revived at the cost of another, thus creating a cycle of child sacrifice and resurrection. After the process, they were placed in observation rooms where they began to develop genetic mutations ranging from grotesque physical deformities to highly exponential growth rates. These genetic mutations were isolated and studied for their possible applications in other fields, such as cloning and adult longevity. At some point, something went terribly wrong in the lab, as shown on one of the camcorder tapes; an Armsy escaped from its containment, which possibly led to a cannibal/mutant uprising that left the facility overrun. Almost all human inhabitants are gone, leaving behind decaying corpses, bloody body parts, and a few live mutants and cannibals. This suggests that this has happened fairly recently, as the head scientist Dr. Cross can be found at the end of the game, dead. Presumably killed by his daughter who stuck crayons into him. Missing Children A newspaper clipping can be found with the headline "Siblings Still Missing" in Cave 3. A milk carton can be found on the Yacht depicting Zachary, another missing child. It can be assumed that either Sahara took the children while the lab was still functional, in order to experiment on them, or to use the resurrection obelisk. Assorted Visitors There are many Abandoned Camps scattered across the The Forest. These groups include, but are not limited to: Cave Divers. Diving camps can be found deep in the caves, in sections only accessible by using the rebreather. Cave climbers/explorers. They have tents inside the caves as well in the non-water portions, along with some tents on the inside wall of the cenote. Hikers/explorers. Their sleeping bags and tents can be found all over the forest topside. Film Crew. They have a larger established camp with modern tents and film equipment scattered about, with scripts for a "Survivor" type program to be found on the ground nearby. These groups seem to have visited the forest at assorted times and to all have been cannibalized with no survivors. Yacht Family At some point, a yacht crashed in a small bay on the west side of the peninsula. This yacht seems to have arrived in 1984 or later. Supporting evidence includes the yacht magazine dated to 1984. On rare occasions Matthew Cross can be seen walking around on the yacht, so he may have a connection to it, or perhaps he uses it as a temporary shelter. Several drawings made by his daughter Megan Cross can also be found. Matthew Cross and Family The exact sequence of these events is unclear and could paint radically different pictures of Matthew Cross depending on their order. For some period prior to the lab's downfall, Matthew worked for Sahara Therapeutics as head of the Jarius Project, researching the resurrection obelisk as indicated by his credit in Orientation Slideshow #2. He was at least aware of the power obelisk, as referenced by an email that he sent noting that it could take down a plane. This suggests that with his knowledge of the power obelisk's ability to take down planes and the resurrection obelisk's ability to revive dead children, he took down the plane the player starts the game in, in hopes of acquiring a live child, and uses said child in the ultimate goal of reviving his daughter. He had a wife called Jessica, who divorced him at some point, along with filing a restraining order against him. According to the dates on both the restraining order and the Autopsy Report, the restraining order was filed 3 months before Megan's death, although the year is unknown. The restraining order also specifies "the father will have no contact with mother or daughter." It is unknown whether Jessica was aware of the full nature of his work at Sahara Therapeutics. Megan appears in a Camcorder video showing her alive and in a wheelchair in what appears to be the Sahara Lab's Cafeteria with many other people present. Another video shows Megan, again in a wheelchair, present during the escape of an Armsy. The autopsy report can be found and picked up which shows that Jessica was murdered in a homicide by multiple stab wounds and head trauma. Matthew eventually gets fired from the lab for unethical and inappropriate use of company equipment, presumably tinkering with the resurrection obelisk. Matthew is on the peninsula alone (except for the cannibals), and he decides to use the power obelisk to bring down an airplane to steal a living child (Timmy) to revive his daughter. He is the red man which is seen by the player after the plane crash. The red paint acts like a protection from the cannibals. The Player The protagonist who you play as is Eric LeBlanc. He appears to have adept survival skills, as he can build shelters and go hunting within a short amount of time after the plane crash, with nothing but a handheld axe and an outdoor survival book. He appears to be a reality TV star, as found from a magazine cover. This magazine also suggests his wife is dead. He is most likely a TV survivalist, similar to Bear Grylls. He has one son, Timmy. The Plane Crash The plane may have originated from New York, as certain passengers are wearing "I ♥ NY" shirts and suitcases contain statue of liberty figurines. It is assumed that the plane is predestined to arrive in Germany, because the label on the plane resembles the logo for the German airline "Lufthansa". The plane was carrying many tennis players, who had balls and rackets in their suitcases. The plane crashes after experiencing sudden storm-like turbulence and engine failure. Some indeterminate time after the crash, a man in red paint (Dr. Matthew Cross) takes Timmy away while the player futilely crawls towards him. Only Timmy, the dead stewardess, the red man (Dr. Cross), and the player(s) are present on the plane when the player wakes after the crash, suggesting any dead had already been taken by the cannibals. The mostly intact condition of the rear section of the plane make it possible that many other passengers could have survived, but that they had already fled the area, possibly upon the death of the stewardess. Their scattered locations across the peninsula suggest that some may have survived as long as several days before falling prey to the cannibals. Finding Timmy The player explores the peninsula to great extent, gearing up to head to the bottom of the sinkhole. The Vault, found at the bottom of the sinkhole, can be opened with the keycard. It leads to the research lab. After exploring much of the lab, the player finds the Resurrection Obelisk, with the dead Timmy inside. The obelisk/machine prompts him for a sacrifice when Timmy is hooked to an operating table. The player then realizes that Matthew had kidnapped Timmy to use as a sacrifice to bring Megan back to life. The player goes on a hunt for Megan, finding many of her childish drawings that are just like Timmy's. He encounters a dead Matthew Cross, with crayons shoved inside his eyes and mouth. A Megan Drawing suggests that Megan saw her father as a scary red monster, possibly giving motive for Megan killing her father. Megan is finally found, surrounded by drawings and toys. She flies a toy plane through the air before crashing it to the floor and pointing at the player, suggesting she knows who he is. Megan then suffers a seizure and transforms into a boss mutant that behaves and looks similar to a Virginia, including the spider legs and mutant babies. After defeating Megan, the player takes her corpse back to the artifact, only to find out that a live sacrifice is required. The player then uses a new keycard found on Megan's body to go to a second artifact. This one has the power to crash planes, seemingly by using an EMP. The player can then choose to use this power to bring down a plane or shut down the device and let the plane pass safely. Happily, Ever After? After taking down the plane, the screen cuts to black with the text "One Year Later". The player and his son are being hosted on a talk show, where the player competes in a friendly tree chopping contest with the host, known as Doran. It is assumed that the player did the same thing that Matthew did, kidnapping a child, and resurrecting his son. During the cut scene, Timmy is shown to be having small tremors and shakes. The happy music turns to horror as Timmy begins to have a violent seizure on the ground, implying that he will undergo a mutation just as Megan did. The character rushes over to comfort Timmy. Timmy's spasms suddenly stop, and he looks up at his father, the player, and smiles. It immediately cuts to black and the credits begin to roll, The next scene appear within Timmy's perspective as he is now a young adult, in his small apartment, he looks over his bulletin board with a map of an unknown island (with a possibility that said island has a link to future plot). Scene ends in another cliffhanger as Timmy goes into seizure again. He walks to his window, overlooking a city. Alternate Ending If the player chooses to shut down the device, he will leave Timmy behind (even more signified as he burns his remaining photo of Timmy) and return back to the island with the possibility of being rescued (albeit without Timmy with him). The game will return to normal with pacification and horde mode unlocked via secret artifact, and a 5 new craftable decoration.

[hotspreadpage]

8 technical issues holding your content back

Technical SEO has certainly fallen out of fashion somewhat with the rise of content marketing, and rightly so.

Content marketing engages and delivers real value to the users, and can put you on the map, putting your brand in front of far more eyeballs than fixing a canonical tag ever could.

While content is at the heart of everything we do, there is a danger that ignoring a site’s technical set-up and diving straight into content creation will not deliver the required returns. Failure to properly audit and resolve technical concerns can disconnect your content efforts from the benefits it should be bringing to your website.

The following eight issues need to be considered before committing to any major campaign:

1. Not hosting valuable content on the main site

For whatever reason, websites often choose to host their best content off the main website, either in subdomains or separate sites altogether. Normally this is because it is deemed easier from a development perspective. The problem with this? It’s simple.

If content is not in your main site’s directory, Google won’t treat it as part of your main site. Any links acquired on subdomains will not be passed to the main site in the same way as if it was in a directory on the site.

Sistrix posted this great case study on the job site Monster, who recently migrated two subdomains into their main site and saw an uplift of 116% visibility in the UK. The chart speaks for itself:

We recently worked with a client who came to us with a thousand referring domains pointing towards a blog subdomain. This represented one third of their total referring domains. Can you imagine how much time and effort it would take to build one thousand referring domains?

The cost of migrating content back into the main site is miniscule in comparison to earning links from one thousand referring domains, so the business case was simple, and the client saw a sizeable boost from this.

2. Not making use of internal links

The best way to get Google to spider your content and pass equity between sections of the website is through internal links.

I like to look at a website’s link equity as a heat which flows through the site through its internal links. Some pages are linked to more liberally and so are really hot; other pages are pretty cold, only getting heat from other sections of the site. Google will struggle to find and rank these cold pages, which massively limits their effectiveness.

Let’s say you’ve created an awesome bit of functional content around one of the key pain points your customers experience. There’s loads of search volume in Google and your site already has a decent amount of authority so you expect to gain visibility for this immediately, but you publish the content and nothing happens!

You’ve hosted your content in some cold directory miles away from anything that is regularly getting visits and it’s suffering as a result.

This works both ways, of course. Say you have a page with lots of external links pointing to it, but no outbound internal links – this page will be red hot, but it’s hoarding the equity that could be used elsewhere on the site.

Check out this awesome bit of content created about Bears Ears national park:

Ignoring the fact this has broken rule No.1 and is on a subdomain, it’s pretty cool, right?

Except they’ve only got a single link back to the main site, and it is buried in the credits at the bottom of the page. Why couldn’t they have made the logo a link back to the main site?

You’re probably going to have lots of pages on content which are great magnets for links, but what is more than likely is that these are probably not your key commercial pages. You want to ensure relevant links are included between hot pages and key pages.

One final example of this is the failure to break up paginated content with category or tag pages. At Zazzle Media we’ve got a massive blog section which, at the time of writing, has 49 pages of paginated content! Link equity is not going to be passed through 49 paginated pages to historic blog posts.

To get around this we included links to our blog posts from our author pages which are linked to from a page in the main navigation:

This change allows our blog posts to be within three clicks of the homepage, thus getting passed vital link equity.

Another way around this would be with the additional tag or category pages for the blog – just make sure these pages do not cannibalize other sections of the site!

3. Poor crawl efficiency

Crawl efficiency is a massive issue we see all the time, especially with larger sites. Essentially Google only has a limited amount of pages it will crawl on your site at any one time. Once it has exhausted its budget it will move on and return at a later date.

If your website has an unreasonably large amount of URLs then Google may get stuck crawling unimportant areas of your website, while failing to index new content quickly enough.

The most common cause of this is an unreasonably large number of query parameters being crawlable.

You might see the following parameters working on your website:

http://ift.tt/2pnspUJ

http://ift.tt/2p0Za7v

http://ift.tt/2pnpmf6

http://ift.tt/2p13GTi

Functioning parameters are rarely search friendly. Creating hundreds of variations of a single URL for engines to crawl individually is one big crawl budget black hole.

River Island’s faceted navigation creates a unique parameter for every combination of buttons you can click:

This creates thousands of different URLs for each category on the site. While they have implemented canonical tags to specify which pages they want in the index, this does not specify which pages are to be crawled, and much of their crawl budget will be wasted on this.

Google have released their own guidelines on how to properly implement faceted navigation, which is certainly worth a read.

As a rule of thumb though, we recommend blocking these parameters from being crawled, either through marking the links themselves with a nofollow attribute, or using the robots.txt or the parameter tool within Google Search Console.

All priority pages should be linked to elsewhere anyway, not just the faceted navigation. River Island have already done this part:

Another common cause of crawl inefficiency arises from having multiple versions of the website accessible, for example:

https://www.example.com

http://www.example.com

https://example.com

http://example.com

Even if the canonical tag specifies the first URL as our default, this isn’t going to stop search engines from crawling other versions of the site if they are accessible. This is certainly pertinent if other versions of the site have a lot of backlinks.

Keeping all versions of the site accessible can make four versions of a page crawlable, which will kill your crawl budget. Rule redirects should be setup to redirect any request and the non-canonicalization version of the page to 301 redirect to the preferred version in a single step.

One final example of wasted crawl efficiency is broken or redirected internal links. We once had a client query the amount of time it was taking for content in a certain directory to get indexed. From crawling the directory, we realised instantly that every single internal link within the directory was pointing to a version of the page not appended with a trailing slash, and then a redirect was forcing the trailing slash on.

Essentially for every link followed, two pages were requested. While broken and redirected internal links are not a massive priority for most sites, as the resource required to fix them does not outweigh the benefit, it is certainly worth resolving priority issues (such as issues from links within the main navigation, or in our case entire directories of redirecting links) especially if you have a problem with the speed with which your content is being indexed.

Just imagine if your site had all three issues! Infinite functioning parameters on four separate sites, all with double the amount of pages requested!

4. Large amounts of thin content

In the post Google Panda world we live in, this really is a no brainer. If your website has large amounts of thin content pages, then sprucing up one page on your website with 10x better content is not going to be sufficient to hide the deficiencies your website already has.

The Panda algorithm essentially makes a score of your website based upon the amount of unique, valuable content you have. Should the majority of the pages not meet the minimum score required to be deemed valuable, your rankings will plummet.

While everyone wants the next big viral idea on their website, when doing our initial content audit, it’s more important to look at the current content on the site and ask the following questions: Is it valuable? Is is performing? If not, can it be improved to serve a need? Removal of content may be required for pages which cannot be improved.

Content hygiene is more important initially than the “big hero” ideas, which come at a later point within the relationship.

5. Large amounts of content with overlaps in keyword targeting

We still see websites making this mistake in 2017. For example, if our main keyword is blue widgets and is being targeted on a service page, we might want to make a blog post about blue widgets too! Because it’s on our main service offering, let’s put a blurb on our homepage about blue widgets. Oh, and of course, you also have a features of our blue widgets page.

No! Just stop, please! The rule of one keyword per page has been around for nearly as long as SEO, but we still see this mistake being made.

You should have one master hub page which contains all the top line information about the topic your keyword is referencing.

You should only utilize other pages should there be significant search volume around long tail variations of the term, and on these pages target the long tail keyword and the long tail keyword only.

Then link prominently between your main topic page and your long-tail pages.

If you have any additional pages which do not provide any search benefit, such as a features page, then consider consolidating the content onto the hub page, or preventing this page from being indexed with a meta robots noindex attribute.

So, for example, we’ve got our main blue widgets page, and from it we link out to a blog post on the topic of why blue widgets are better than red widgets. Our blue widgets feature page has been removed from the index and the homepage has been de-optimized for the term.

6. Lack of website authority

But content marketing helps attract authority naturally, you say! Yes, this is 100% true, but not all types of content marketing do. At Zazzle Media, we’ve found the best ROI on content creation is the evergreen, functioning content which fulfils search intent.

When we take a new client on board we do a massive keyword research project which identifies every possible long tail search around the client’s products and services. This gives us more than enough content ideas to go about bringing in at the top of the funnel traffic that we can then try to strategically push down the funnel through the creative use of other channels.

The great thing about this tactic is that it requires no promotion. Once it becomes visible in search, it brings in traffic regularly without any additional budget.

One consideration before undergoing this tactic is the amount of authority a website already has. Without a level of authority, it is very difficult to get a web page to rank for anything well, no matter the content.

Links still matter in 2017. While brand relevancy is the new No.1 ranking factor (certainly for highly competitive niches), links are still very much No. 2.

Without an authoritative website, you may have to step back from creating informational content for search intent, and instead focus on more link-bait types of content.

7. Lack of Data

Without data it is impossible to make an informed decision about the success of your campaigns. We use a wealth of data to make informed decisions prior to creating any piece of content, then use a wealth of data to measure our performance against those goals.

Content needs to be consumed and shared, customers retained and engaged.

Keyword tools like Storybase will provide loads of long tail keywords with which to base your content on. Ahrefs content explorer can help validate content ideas by comparing the performance of similar ideas.

I love also using Facebook page insights on custom audiences (by website traffic or email list) to extract vital information about our customer demographic.

Then there is Google Analytics.

Returning visits, pages per session, measure customer retention.

Time on page, exit rate and social shares can measure the success of the content.

Number of new users and bounce rate is a good indication of the engagement of new users.

If you’re not tracking the above metrics you might be pursuing a method which simply does not work. What’s worse, how can you build on your past successes?

8. Slow page load times

This one is a no brainer. Amazon estimated that a single second increase to their page load times would cost them $1.6 billion in sales. Google have published videos, documents and tools to help webmasters address page load issues.

I see poor page load times as a symptom of a much wider problem; that the website in question clearly hasn’t considered the user at all. Why else would they neglect probably the biggest usability factor?

These websites typically tend to be clunky, have little value and what content they do have is hopelessly self-serving.

Striving to resolve page speed issues is a commitment to improving the experience a user has of your website. This kind of mentality is crucial if you want to build an engaged user base.

Some, if not all, of these topics justify their own blog post. The overriding message from this post is about maximising a return of investment for your efforts.

Everyone wants the big bang idea, but most aren’t ready for it yet. Technical SEO should be working hand in hand with content marketing efforts, letting you eke out the maximum ROI your content deserves.

8 technical issues holding your content back syndicated from http://ift.tt/2maPRjm

[kellykperez]

8 technical issues holding your content back

Technical SEO has certainly fallen out of fashion somewhat with the rise of content marketing, and rightly so.

Content marketing engages and delivers real value to the users, and can put you on the map, putting your brand in front of far more eyeballs than fixing a canonical tag ever could.

While content is at the heart of everything we do, there is a danger that ignoring a site’s technical set-up and diving straight into content creation will not deliver the required returns. Failure to properly audit and resolve technical concerns can disconnect your content efforts from the benefits it should be bringing to your website.

The following eight issues need to be considered before committing to any major campaign:

1. Not hosting valuable content on the main site

For whatever reason, websites often choose to host their best content off the main website, either in subdomains or separate sites altogether. Normally this is because it is deemed easier from a development perspective. The problem with this? It’s simple.

If content is not in your main site’s directory, Google won’t treat it as part of your main site. Any links acquired on subdomains will not be passed to the main site in the same way as if it was in a directory on the site.

Sistrix posted this great case study on the job site Monster, who recently migrated two subdomains into their main site and saw an uplift of 116% visibility in the UK. The chart speaks for itself:

We recently worked with a client who came to us with a thousand referring domains pointing towards a blog subdomain. This represented one third of their total referring domains. Can you imagine how much time and effort it would take to build one thousand referring domains?

The cost of migrating content back into the main site is miniscule in comparison to earning links from one thousand referring domains, so the business case was simple, and the client saw a sizeable boost from this.

2. Not making use of internal links

The best way to get Google to spider your content and pass equity between sections of the website is through internal links.

I like to look at a website’s link equity as a heat which flows through the site through its internal links. Some pages are linked to more liberally and so are really hot; other pages are pretty cold, only getting heat from other sections of the site. Google will struggle to find and rank these cold pages, which massively limits their effectiveness.

Let’s say you’ve created an awesome bit of functional content around one of the key pain points your customers experience. There’s loads of search volume in Google and your site already has a decent amount of authority so you expect to gain visibility for this immediately, but you publish the content and nothing happens!

You’ve hosted your content in some cold directory miles away from anything that is regularly getting visits and it’s suffering as a result.

This works both ways, of course. Say you have a page with lots of external links pointing to it, but no outbound internal links – this page will be red hot, but it’s hoarding the equity that could be used elsewhere on the site.

Check out this awesome bit of content created about Bears Ears national park:

Ignoring the fact this has broken rule No.1 and is on a subdomain, it’s pretty cool, right?

Except they’ve only got a single link back to the main site, and it is buried in the credits at the bottom of the page. Why couldn’t they have made the logo a link back to the main site?

You’re probably going to have lots of pages on content which are great magnets for links, but what is more than likely is that these are probably not your key commercial pages. You want to ensure relevant links are included between hot pages and key pages.

One final example of this is the failure to break up paginated content with category or tag pages. At Zazzle Media we’ve got a massive blog section which, at the time of writing, has 49 pages of paginated content! Link equity is not going to be passed through 49 paginated pages to historic blog posts.

To get around this we included links to our blog posts from our author pages which are linked to from a page in the main navigation:

This change allows our blog posts to be within three clicks of the homepage, thus getting passed vital link equity.

Another way around this would be with the additional tag or category pages for the blog – just make sure these pages do not cannibalize other sections of the site!

3. Poor crawl efficiency

Crawl efficiency is a massive issue we see all the time, especially with larger sites. Essentially Google only has a limited amount of pages it will crawl on your site at any one time. Once it has exhausted its budget it will move on and return at a later date.

If your website has an unreasonably large amount of URLs then Google may get stuck crawling unimportant areas of your website, while failing to index new content quickly enough.

The most common cause of this is an unreasonably large number of query parameters being crawlable.

You might see the following parameters working on your website:

https://www.example.com/dresses

https://www.example.com/dresses?category=maxi

https://www.example.com/dresses?category=maxi&colour=blue

https://www.example.com/dresses?category=maxi&size=8&colour=blue

Functioning parameters are rarely search friendly. Creating hundreds of variations of a single URL for engines to crawl individually is one big crawl budget black hole.

River Island’s faceted navigation creates a unique parameter for every combination of buttons you can click:

This creates thousands of different URLs for each category on the site. While they have implemented canonical tags to specify which pages they want in the index, this does not specify which pages are to be crawled, and much of their crawl budget will be wasted on this.

Google have released their own guidelines on how to properly implement faceted navigation, which is certainly worth a read.

As a rule of thumb though, we recommend blocking these parameters from being crawled, either through marking the links themselves with a nofollow attribute, or using the robots.txt or the parameter tool within Google Search Console.

All priority pages should be linked to elsewhere anyway, not just the faceted navigation. River Island have already done this part:

Another common cause of crawl inefficiency arises from having multiple versions of the website accessible, for example:

https://www.example.com

http://www.example.com

https://example.com

http://example.com

Even if the canonical tag specifies the first URL as our default, this isn’t going to stop search engines from crawling other versions of the site if they are accessible. This is certainly pertinent if other versions of the site have a lot of backlinks.

Keeping all versions of the site accessible can make four versions of a page crawlable, which will kill your crawl budget. Rule redirects should be setup to redirect any request and the non-canonicalization version of the page to 301 redirect to the preferred version in a single step.

One final example of wasted crawl efficiency is broken or redirected internal links. We once had a client query the amount of time it was taking for content in a certain directory to get indexed. From crawling the directory, we realised instantly that every single internal link within the directory was pointing to a version of the page not appended with a trailing slash, and then a redirect was forcing the trailing slash on.

Essentially for every link followed, two pages were requested. While broken and redirected internal links are not a massive priority for most sites, as the resource required to fix them does not outweigh the benefit, it is certainly worth resolving priority issues (such as issues from links within the main navigation, or in our case entire directories of redirecting links) especially if you have a problem with the speed with which your content is being indexed.

Just imagine if your site had all three issues! Infinite functioning parameters on four separate sites, all with double the amount of pages requested!

4. Large amounts of thin content

In the post Google Panda world we live in, this really is a no brainer. If your website has large amounts of thin content pages, then sprucing up one page on your website with 10x better content is not going to be sufficient to hide the deficiencies your website already has.

The Panda algorithm essentially makes a score of your website based upon the amount of unique, valuable content you have. Should the majority of the pages not meet the minimum score required to be deemed valuable, your rankings will plummet.

While everyone wants the next big viral idea on their website, when doing our initial content audit, it’s more important to look at the current content on the site and ask the following questions: Is it valuable? Is is performing? If not, can it be improved to serve a need? Removal of content may be required for pages which cannot be improved.

Content hygiene is more important initially than the “big hero” ideas, which come at a later point within the relationship.

5. Large amounts of content with overlaps in keyword targeting

We still see websites making this mistake in 2017. For example, if our main keyword is blue widgets and is being targeted on a service page, we might want to make a blog post about blue widgets too! Because it’s on our main service offering, let’s put a blurb on our homepage about blue widgets. Oh, and of course, you also have a features of our blue widgets page.

No! Just stop, please! The rule of one keyword per page has been around for nearly as long as SEO, but we still see this mistake being made.

You should have one master hub page which contains all the top line information about the topic your keyword is referencing.

You should only utilize other pages should there be significant search volume around long tail variations of the term, and on these pages target the long tail keyword and the long tail keyword only.

Then link prominently between your main topic page and your long-tail pages.

If you have any additional pages which do not provide any search benefit, such as a features page, then consider consolidating the content onto the hub page, or preventing this page from being indexed with a meta robots noindex attribute.

So, for example, we’ve got our main blue widgets page, and from it we link out to a blog post on the topic of why blue widgets are better than red widgets. Our blue widgets feature page has been removed from the index and the homepage has been de-optimized for the term.

6. Lack of website authority

But content marketing helps attract authority naturally, you say! Yes, this is 100% true, but not all types of content marketing do. At Zazzle Media, we’ve found the best ROI on content creation is the evergreen, functioning content which fulfils search intent.

When we take a new client on board we do a massive keyword research project which identifies every possible long tail search around the client’s products and services. This gives us more than enough content ideas to go about bringing in at the top of the funnel traffic that we can then try to strategically push down the funnel through the creative use of other channels.

The great thing about this tactic is that it requires no promotion. Once it becomes visible in search, it brings in traffic regularly without any additional budget.

One consideration before undergoing this tactic is the amount of authority a website already has. Without a level of authority, it is very difficult to get a web page to rank for anything well, no matter the content.

Links still matter in 2017. While brand relevancy is the new No.1 ranking factor (certainly for highly competitive niches), links are still very much No. 2.

Without an authoritative website, you may have to step back from creating informational content for search intent, and instead focus on more link-bait types of content.

7. Lack of Data

Without data it is impossible to make an informed decision about the success of your campaigns. We use a wealth of data to make informed decisions prior to creating any piece of content, then use a wealth of data to measure our performance against those goals.

Content needs to be consumed and shared, customers retained and engaged.

Keyword tools like Storybase will provide loads of long tail keywords with which to base your content on. Ahrefs content explorer can help validate content ideas by comparing the performance of similar ideas.

I love also using Facebook page insights on custom audiences (by website traffic or email list) to extract vital information about our customer demographic.

Then there is Google Analytics.

Returning visits, pages per session, measure customer retention.

Time on page, exit rate and social shares can measure the success of the content.

Number of new users and bounce rate is a good indication of the engagement of new users.

If you’re not tracking the above metrics you might be pursuing a method which simply does not work. What’s worse, how can you build on your past successes?

8. Slow page load times

This one is a no brainer. Amazon estimated that a single second increase to their page load times would cost them $1.6 billion in sales. Google have published videos, documents and tools to help webmasters address page load issues.

I see poor page load times as a symptom of a much wider problem; that the website in question clearly hasn’t considered the user at all. Why else would they neglect probably the biggest usability factor?

These websites typically tend to be clunky, have little value and what content they do have is hopelessly self-serving.

Striving to resolve page speed issues is a commitment to improving the experience a user has of your website. This kind of mentality is crucial if you want to build an engaged user base.

Some, if not all, of these topics justify their own blog post. The overriding message from this post is about maximising a return of investment for your efforts.

Everyone wants the big bang idea, but most aren’t ready for it yet. Technical SEO should be working hand in hand with content marketing efforts, letting you eke out the maximum ROI your content deserves.

from IM Tips And Tricks https://searchenginewatch.com/2017/05/01/8-technical-issues-holding-your-content-back/

[sheilalmartinia]

8 technical issues holding your content back

Technical SEO has certainly fallen out of fashion somewhat with the rise of content marketing, and rightly so.

Content marketing engages and delivers real value to the users, and can put you on the map, putting your brand in front of far more eyeballs than fixing a canonical tag ever could.

While content is at the heart of everything we do, there is a danger that ignoring a site’s technical set-up and diving straight into content creation will not deliver the required returns. Failure to properly audit and resolve technical concerns can disconnect your content efforts from the benefits it should be bringing to your website.

The following eight issues need to be considered before committing to any major campaign:

1. Not hosting valuable content on the main site

For whatever reason, websites often choose to host their best content off the main website, either in subdomains or separate sites altogether. Normally this is because it is deemed easier from a development perspective. The problem with this? It’s simple.

If content is not in your main site’s directory, Google won’t treat it as part of your main site. Any links acquired on subdomains will not be passed to the main site in the same way as if it was in a directory on the site.

Sistrix posted this great case study on the job site Monster, who recently migrated two subdomains into their main site and saw an uplift of 116% visibility in the UK. The chart speaks for itself:

We recently worked with a client who came to us with a thousand referring domains pointing towards a blog subdomain. This represented one third of their total referring domains. Can you imagine how much time and effort it would take to build one thousand referring domains?

The cost of migrating content back into the main site is miniscule in comparison to earning links from one thousand referring domains, so the business case was simple, and the client saw a sizeable boost from this.

2. Not making use of internal links

The best way to get Google to spider your content and pass equity between sections of the website is through internal links.

I like to look at a website’s link equity as a heat which flows through the site through its internal links. Some pages are linked to more liberally and so are really hot; other pages are pretty cold, only getting heat from other sections of the site. Google will struggle to find and rank these cold pages, which massively limits their effectiveness.

Let’s say you’ve created an awesome bit of functional content around one of the key pain points your customers experience. There’s loads of search volume in Google and your site already has a decent amount of authority so you expect to gain visibility for this immediately, but you publish the content and nothing happens!

You’ve hosted your content in some cold directory miles away from anything that is regularly getting visits and it’s suffering as a result.

This works both ways, of course. Say you have a page with lots of external links pointing to it, but no outbound internal links – this page will be red hot, but it’s hoarding the equity that could be used elsewhere on the site.

Check out this awesome bit of content created about Bears Ears national park:

Ignoring the fact this has broken rule No.1 and is on a subdomain, it’s pretty cool, right?

Except they’ve only got a single link back to the main site, and it is buried in the credits at the bottom of the page. Why couldn’t they have made the logo a link back to the main site?

You’re probably going to have lots of pages on content which are great magnets for links, but what is more than likely is that these are probably not your key commercial pages. You want to ensure relevant links are included between hot pages and key pages.

One final example of this is the failure to break up paginated content with category or tag pages. At Zazzle Media we’ve got a massive blog section which, at the time of writing, has 49 pages of paginated content! Link equity is not going to be passed through 49 paginated pages to historic blog posts.

To get around this we included links to our blog posts from our author pages which are linked to from a page in the main navigation:

This change allows our blog posts to be within three clicks of the homepage, thus getting passed vital link equity.

Another way around this would be with the additional tag or category pages for the blog – just make sure these pages do not cannibalize other sections of the site!

3. Poor crawl efficiency

Crawl efficiency is a massive issue we see all the time, especially with larger sites. Essentially Google only has a limited amount of pages it will crawl on your site at any one time. Once it has exhausted its budget it will move on and return at a later date.

If your website has an unreasonably large amount of URLs then Google may get stuck crawling unimportant areas of your website, while failing to index new content quickly enough.

The most common cause of this is an unreasonably large number of query parameters being crawlable.

You might see the following parameters working on your website:

https://www.example.com/dresses

https://www.example.com/dresses?category=maxi

https://www.example.com/dresses?category=maxi&colour=blue

https://www.example.com/dresses?category=maxi&size=8&colour=blue

Functioning parameters are rarely search friendly. Creating hundreds of variations of a single URL for engines to crawl individually is one big crawl budget black hole.

River Island’s faceted navigation creates a unique parameter for every combination of buttons you can click:

This creates thousands of different URLs for each category on the site. While they have implemented canonical tags to specify which pages they want in the index, this does not specify which pages are to be crawled, and much of their crawl budget will be wasted on this.

Google have released their own guidelines on how to properly implement faceted navigation, which is certainly worth a read.

As a rule of thumb though, we recommend blocking these parameters from being crawled, either through marking the links themselves with a nofollow attribute, or using the robots.txt or the parameter tool within Google Search Console.

All priority pages should be linked to elsewhere anyway, not just the faceted navigation. River Island have already done this part:

Another common cause of crawl inefficiency arises from having multiple versions of the website accessible, for example:

https://www.example.com

http://www.example.com

https://example.com

http://example.com

Even if the canonical tag specifies the first URL as our default, this isn’t going to stop search engines from crawling other versions of the site if they are accessible. This is certainly pertinent if other versions of the site have a lot of backlinks.

Keeping all versions of the site accessible can make four versions of a page crawlable, which will kill your crawl budget. Rule redirects should be setup to redirect any request and the non-canonicalization version of the page to 301 redirect to the preferred version in a single step.

One final example of wasted crawl efficiency is broken or redirected internal links. We once had a client query the amount of time it was taking for content in a certain directory to get indexed. From crawling the directory, we realised instantly that every single internal link within the directory was pointing to a version of the page not appended with a trailing slash, and then a redirect was forcing the trailing slash on.

Essentially for every link followed, two pages were requested. While broken and redirected internal links are not a massive priority for most sites, as the resource required to fix them does not outweigh the benefit, it is certainly worth resolving priority issues (such as issues from links within the main navigation, or in our case entire directories of redirecting links) especially if you have a problem with the speed with which your content is being indexed.

Just imagine if your site had all three issues! Infinite functioning parameters on four separate sites, all with double the amount of pages requested!

4. Large amounts of thin content

In the post Google Panda world we live in, this really is a no brainer. If your website has large amounts of thin content pages, then sprucing up one page on your website with 10x better content is not going to be sufficient to hide the deficiencies your website already has.

The Panda algorithm essentially makes a score of your website based upon the amount of unique, valuable content you have. Should the majority of the pages not meet the minimum score required to be deemed valuable, your rankings will plummet.

While everyone wants the next big viral idea on their website, when doing our initial content audit, it’s more important to look at the current content on the site and ask the following questions: Is it valuable? Is is performing? If not, can it be improved to serve a need? Removal of content may be required for pages which cannot be improved.

Content hygiene is more important initially than the “big hero” ideas, which come at a later point within the relationship.

5. Large amounts of content with overlaps in keyword targeting

We still see websites making this mistake in 2017. For example, if our main keyword is blue widgets and is being targeted on a service page, we might want to make a blog post about blue widgets too! Because it’s on our main service offering, let’s put a blurb on our homepage about blue widgets. Oh, and of course, you also have a features of our blue widgets page.

No! Just stop, please! The rule of one keyword per page has been around for nearly as long as SEO, but we still see this mistake being made.

You should have one master hub page which contains all the top line information about the topic your keyword is referencing.

You should only utilize other pages should there be significant search volume around long tail variations of the term, and on these pages target the long tail keyword and the long tail keyword only.

Then link prominently between your main topic page and your long-tail pages.

If you have any additional pages which do not provide any search benefit, such as a features page, then consider consolidating the content onto the hub page, or preventing this page from being indexed with a meta robots noindex attribute.

So, for example, we’ve got our main blue widgets page, and from it we link out to a blog post on the topic of why blue widgets are better than red widgets. Our blue widgets feature page has been removed from the index and the homepage has been de-optimized for the term.

6. Lack of website authority

But content marketing helps attract authority naturally, you say! Yes, this is 100% true, but not all types of content marketing do. At Zazzle Media, we’ve found the best ROI on content creation is the evergreen, functioning content which fulfils search intent.

When we take a new client on board we do a massive keyword research project which identifies every possible long tail search around the client’s products and services. This gives us more than enough content ideas to go about bringing in at the top of the funnel traffic that we can then try to strategically push down the funnel through the creative use of other channels.

The great thing about this tactic is that it requires no promotion. Once it becomes visible in search, it brings in traffic regularly without any additional budget.

One consideration before undergoing this tactic is the amount of authority a website already has. Without a level of authority, it is very difficult to get a web page to rank for anything well, no matter the content.

Links still matter in 2017. While brand relevancy is the new No.1 ranking factor (certainly for highly competitive niches), links are still very much No. 2.

Without an authoritative website, you may have to step back from creating informational content for search intent, and instead focus on more link-bait types of content.

7. Lack of Data

Without data it is impossible to make an informed decision about the success of your campaigns. We use a wealth of data to make informed decisions prior to creating any piece of content, then use a wealth of data to measure our performance against those goals.

Content needs to be consumed and shared, customers retained and engaged.

Keyword tools like Storybase will provide loads of long tail keywords with which to base your content on. Ahrefs content explorer can help validate content ideas by comparing the performance of similar ideas.

I love also using Facebook page insights on custom audiences (by website traffic or email list) to extract vital information about our customer demographic.

Then there is Google Analytics.

Returning visits, pages per session, measure customer retention.

Time on page, exit rate and social shares can measure the success of the content.

Number of new users and bounce rate is a good indication of the engagement of new users.

If you’re not tracking the above metrics you might be pursuing a method which simply does not work. What’s worse, how can you build on your past successes?

8. Slow page load times

This one is a no brainer. Amazon estimated that a single second increase to their page load times would cost them $1.6 billion in sales. Google have published videos, documents and tools to help webmasters address page load issues.

I see poor page load times as a symptom of a much wider problem; that the website in question clearly hasn’t considered the user at all. Why else would they neglect probably the biggest usability factor?

These websites typically tend to be clunky, have little value and what content they do have is hopelessly self-serving.

Striving to resolve page speed issues is a commitment to improving the experience a user has of your website. This kind of mentality is crucial if you want to build an engaged user base.

Some, if not all, of these topics justify their own blog post. The overriding message from this post is about maximising a return of investment for your efforts.

Everyone wants the big bang idea, but most aren’t ready for it yet. Technical SEO should be working hand in hand with content marketing efforts, letting you eke out the maximum ROI your content deserves.

from Search Engine Watch https://searchenginewatch.com/2017/05/01/8-technical-issues-holding-your-content-back/

[peggyao3]

Relic - Pt. 18 "Universe"

PAIRING: Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x Unnamed Ambiguous FMC

SUMMARY: This chapter is dedicated to the quantum spirits.

TAGS: Third person POV, she/her AFAB FMC, explicit sexual content, smut, vaginal sex, vaginal fingering, oral sex, Porn with Plot, Feyd-Rautha's black cum and big cock, Praise Kink, Body Worship, angst/hurt and comfort, drama, fluff, plans within plans, implied/referenced child abuse, implied/referenced abuse, Trauma, mentions of suicidal thoughts, Healing, Strangers to Lovers, falling in love, Vulnerable/ Emotional/Possessive Feyd, Feyd is a sweet baby who did nothing wrong and I WILL pamper him, nurture not nature, Stockholm Syndrome but in a consensual way, lucid dreaming, Implied/Referenced Cannibalism, murder, teaching the universe about feminism, female rage, Frank Herbert would frown, No actually he would kneel in front of me, putting the science and the porn in sci-fi, angst with a happy ending

WORD COUNT: 5k

A/N: It's a Christmas miracle! 🎄 The final chapter is ready just in time. And, my God, I'm so emotional about it 😭 It hurts to let it go.

After finishing this chapter, you might want to re-read a certain part of a certain other chapter, because of reasons 🤭

If there ever pops up a 19th "chapter", don't be surprised! If it happens, it's going to be a bit of art for this fic 💖💖💖

My biggest thank you goes to @/ClockworkSiren, once again, for beta reading this whole thing and letting me borrow our lovely babies Alyth and Michael and turn them into Lilia and Mikhail ❤️😭

Reposted from my Ao3💕| Masterlist | Relic Masterlist

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

← Previous Chapter

"So, this is it?" She gazes out the window, engines rumbling under their seats. "The Maldives of Giedi Prime?"

"What was that, darling?" Feyd's hand is heavy on her knee, the coolness of his wedding band seeping pleasantly through her gown. His bald head thuds softly against the back panel as he follows her gaze.

The black, oily waves of the svart valta lick at the pale coast of the peninsula below. White sand stretches between tall, chalky cliffs that stand out of the landscape like the unearthed bones of an ancient beast. According to her interface, they're still 150 meters above the ground.

"The Maldives," the relic mutters pensively. "They were an archipelago on Earth, a popular honeymoon destination. Never been there. They were flooded around the time I was born."

"Honeymoon," Feyd repeats the foreign word that lacks a proper translation in Galach, but with the individual words grafted together, it sounds cute. He likes it. "M'gonna drink your honey as soon as we touch down. Until the moon comes out?"

His wife snickers warmly and her breath fogs up the window. Feyd's hand slides to the inside of her thigh, squeezing the soft flesh above her knee.

"Not if I drink yours first," she teases, though her musing gaze remains on the lurid landscape below, abyssal wave hungrily trying to scorch the peninsula of Telkel. From the tasu aurinkosesti, they had flown east to reach one of the most remote Harkonnen settlements on Giedi Prime. Looking at the undulating mass of radiation, she wonders: "What color do you think it'd have under a yellow sun?"

"Don't know," Feyd hums. "You're the scientist. Green, maybe? Or brown."

He had explained to her earlier that the settlers had tried to reintroduce fish to the sea here in Telkel. The giant, corroding basins along the shore remain, but their filter systems have been shut off for decades. To cultivate fish that can not only survive but thrive in the heavily polluted waters would take some serious scientific effort that the late Baron Harkonnen didn't think promising enough to chip his budget for.

"We could have gone to Lankiveil," his woman briefly pouts, though her eyes betray her fascination as the village below increases in size. "I would die to dip my toes into an ocean without having them singed off. Or for some fresh air and a walk among pines. I never had much of that on Earth either."

Feyd hums, contorting his torso to press his cheek against hers as they both gaze out of the same window. Long, pale fingers play along her ribs. "The waters on Lankiveil would freeze your toes off, but… We'll go there," he promises with a low whisper. "Or any other planet you want. The universe is practically ours now." 

Practically. Perhaps after a week of writhing on top of each other in damp sheets, their thirst for revenge will return.

The conversation between Feyd and his brother after the ceremony had been brief, but Glossu had formally invited the both of them to Lankiveil, the snowy, tranquil home of Feyd's early childhood and a place full of emotional debris. But he would rather not elbow his way through the wreckage on their honeymoon.

The aircraft touches down on a bleak landing pad between low buildings that look like matchboxes among the unforgiving landscape. A small committee of a dozen Telkelis awaits the daunting visitors from Barony, their massive aircraft ink-black and shiny, factory new, among the dusty grey architecture and pale hills. The sharp wind of rotor blades makes the Telkelis' drab trousers whip around their legs.

Lilia quickly maneuvers to the other side of the passengers' cabin after prying the hem of her Lady's travel mantle out of Glugo's many finger-toes. The garment has the same functionality as her wedding down, but simpler and more practical.

"You'll get your plushies back when we're inside," the handmaid tries to soothe the wistfully glugging creature. "They're in the suitcase— Oh! Not that one."

But Glugo has already wrapped four out of eight hand-feet around the handle of Mikhail's personal suitcase that the guard had refused to deposit in the cargo department because old habits die hard. As a former resident of the slums of Ganpolis, he prefers to have his belongings where he can see them.

Feyd-Rautha clicks his tongue while Lilia helps his wife into the shiny mantle and gloves, concealing her from head to toes.

Outside, scalding wind carries the sound of distant, crashing waves and the scent of bitter salt. The relic has to hold onto her husband's arm as she sways on the iron footsteps of the aircraft. Behind them, guards spill out of the second cabin, half of them heading straight to the cargo compartment where her cryo pod is stored. She is quite like Mikhail in that regard. 

The committee bravely keeps a stoic face and  doesn't flinch at the disturbingly cute sight of an eight-arm-legged creature toiling away with a too heavy suitcase and refusing a desperate guard's help.

Leaning towards his wife, Mikhail whispers: "My chair's inside that thing!"

Feyd's nostrils flare as he struts towards the gathered dozen with heavy, leisured steps, clutching the hand of his wife. His other hand lifts to shield himself against the glaring sun and the tip of his thumb subconsciously slides against his ear where an inconspicuous black button pierces his antihelix. To the unsuspecting eye, it looks not too different from a regular transponder with an unconventional placement, but what it really contains is a tiny loudspeaker and a chip with just enough memory to run the script that detects the voice.

"Welcome to Telkel, my Lord, my Lady." The committee bends their knees and salutes. The clumsy tension in their limbs gives away that they didn't have to salute to authority often in their lives out here in the godforsaken wilderness.

"Thank you for having us."

If it weren't the young Baron's very own raspy drawl speaking, the Mayor of Telkel would have never believed that 'thank you' would be the first words coming out of Feyd's mouth. The Mayor's daughter had cried in the morning, certain that Feyd-Rautha would behead her father for something as mundane as the driveway to the villa being too crooked or the bad condition of the weather-beaten landing pad.

"It's an honor. The entire village is ecstatic, my Lord." Still hunkering down on one knee, the man's smooth brows suddenly shoot up in horror. "Congratulations!" He blurts. "On your marriage!" He'd meant to say this in the very beginning. Helplessly, his pale eyes snap from Baron to Baroness.

"Thank you," the Lady speaks from behind the curious veil and her voice sounds kind and human. "Why don't you stand up. Don't hurt your knees."

Feyd-Rautha casts a threatening glance at Mikhail, so the guard doesn't blurt out that 'the Lady could print y'all some chairs.'

The Mayor and his people shuffle, straightening their bodies into the sharp wind.

"Oh, my Lady, our knees and backs are used to it." The older man points a scarred thumb behind his shoulder, where the inkvine plantations are beyond the village border. This is how Telkel gets by now, hovering over the maws of poverty at the whims of Giedi Prime's rocky soil and erratic volcanoes.

The Lady lets out a sympathetic sound and the Mayor can't help himself. The next words just come tumbling out. "It'd be an honor to show you around the plantations and the old basins, if you'd like. Never seen them in action, but my father did. For a year or so, they had a relatively stable population of Tilapia in there."

"I'd love to see them. Actually, if I could have some water samples, maybe I could—"

"Not now, sweetling," Feyd's grating voice chastises and he squeezes his wife's gloved hand, compressing her wedding ring between her fingers. "The villa is prepared?"

"Yes, my Lord. The maids and workers you sent have been very thorough. Radiation-proof window panes, fresh paint. Even got some imported plants. My daughter picked them." The renovated villa is now considerably more homely than the Mayor's own residence. "Shall we head there?"

Despite its forlorn ugliness, the relic finds Telkel and its grey, flat buildings among chalky hills oddly charming. Even if she'll be covered from crown to toe in her lead-painted mantle, she swears she will go to the beach — if Feyd lets her out of the bedroom — and feel the sand underfoot, hear the massive waves trying to swallow the shore. Compared to Barony and the roiling industrial trenches that stretch across most of the northern hemisphere, this is a natural paradise.

"Guess we won't be seeing ya for a while, eh?" Mikhail leers, freshly painted teeth brilliant in the glaring sun as he leans lopsidedly against the grey pillar of the villa's roofed porch. Lilia harshly pinches his side, between the plates of his armor, but the apples of her cheeks round up with laughter. Sometimes it still scares her how openly her husband jests with Feyd-Rautha, a man who used to be known first and foremost for his quick blades and unstable outbursts.

The welcome committee has left them ten minutes ago and the guards currently come shuffling out of the building, having deposited the Baroness' priceless sarcophagus in the room adjacent to their honeymoon suite.

"You may join us for meals," Feyd concedes, grinning.

"Meals as in…?" Mikhail cocks a hairless brow.

"Oh, absolutely not!" The relic gasps and her guard breaks into raspy laughter, lungs expanding in crunchy hops.

"Dun' worry. I wouldn't share my woman anyways. Not even with you, m'Lord. Aight then, see ya in a week, eh?"

Wiry arms curl around Lilia's thighs and the scrawny guard hauls his wife quite easily over his shoulder. She calls him a prat between giggles, and a mongrel, but Mikhail already makes a sprinting beeline for Glugo who still stubbornly drags his suitcase down the freshly paved pathway to the guest house.

"They'll be fine," Feyd-Rautha soothes his wife's veiled, lingering glance. "Look at me." His gravelly timbre demands for her undivided attention and her eyes follow his magnetic pull.

Pale fingers sprawl across her sternum, urging her backwards. Even through the lead-painted layers, she feels his possessive touch singe her skin and bones. Unwittingly, her feet pass the threshold of their holiday abode and the door closes at her husband's back.

Inside, silence embraces them. This place is only for them, where they need to be nothing but lovers. Color provided by golden glow globes fades into Feyd's pallor, the softest notes of pink on cheeks and lips, and blue framed by dark blonde lashes. 

The building is brutalist in its arches and pillars, but less suffocating than the palace. The welcoming range of non-colors and sharp angles creates actual depth and contrast, not like the bulbous pyramid interior that reminds of  a termite burrow, or the innards of a giant insect. Bright daylight streams through the thick windows, fading into glowglobe haze.

Something about this place evokes… Nostalgia.

"You're blushing, husband," she teases, though her hammering heart under his palm betrays her own butterflies.

"Off with that thing." Feyd-Rautha has already mapped out the buckles that keep her mantle fastened and strips it off her frame quicker than she would have ever managed. Her gloves land on the same shiny pile and she hooks her bare fingers into Feyd's belt loops, turning her husband around his tall axis to walk him up the curved stairs. Those pretty eyes could eat her alive, oozing lust like blue honey.

Neither of them take note of the gentle, green fern that line the staircase in tasteful pots.

"Off with that thing." The woman's fingers glide under Feyd's lapels and over his smooth shoulders, slipping his ornamental jacket off his arms. The expensive garment flutters over the banister and he remains in a sleeveless tunic and trousers.

"So, now that you're my wife, will you stop taking that potion?" Feyd leers at her stomach once they've reached the top, his tone playful. The hand that lunges to smack him atop the head is one that he had predicted, and so he dodges it masterfully and dances behind her. Hard, strong arms curl around her middle, lifting her off the ground until she breaks into gasping giggles and demands to be let down with kicking feet. The hem of her gown slides up her shins.

Feyd grins, feeling the plushness of her breasts against his forearms. "What a rare pleasure to have you in a gown, my darling" he purrs.

"For this special occasion, I thought I might as well," she huffs with laughter, accepting her airborne fate.

"I like it. It's practical."

"Practical for you, not for me."

The garment is a classic cut worn by Harkonnen noblewomen, flattering and intricate in the way it curls around her bosom and hips in obsidian black, nothing like the stiff latex and see-through plastic of the former Baron's palace servants.

"Don't worry, you won't have to wear it for the rest of the week, my darling. You'll wear nothing but sweat and cum on your pretty skin. Or maybe some blood. I didn't bring a coffer full of toys for nothing."

"I hope some of them are for you."

"More than you'd think," he purrs, pink lips pressing against her neck. "And some of the blood will be mine."

"Oh? We could start now." The woman twists out of his grasp, turning and grasping his lapels. Her lips find the crescent scar on his clavicle, pretending to delve for a kiss when she really pinches the thin layer of skin over the bone between her teeth. Feyd grunts, shamelessly pressing his confined erection against her navel.

"Let's go, my darling." He seizes her hand, his whole universe, and opens the door.

🎶🎶🎶

"Look, doesn't this remind you of something?" His wife's voice whispers to him excitedly and Feyd-Rautha tilts his head, brows furrowed.

"What do you mean?"

"Look!" Her ringed hand slides out of his grip and he chases after it viscerally, nearly overwhelmed by the sudden discomfort of having no soft palm against his own. She shouldn't be slipping away from him at all on their honeymoon.

But then, recognition carves into him, serrated blades that tear his guts open with a monstrous sense of deja vu. His head spins as he advances into the room.

Feyd's feet step on polished parquet and his gaze swivels around, scanning the surroundings which he thought he would never see again. There are white curtains fluttering by the window, a king-sized bed carved out of white marble, a black comforter tucked around the mattress and blue pillows are lined up against the headboard. A real fern grows in a terracotta pot in the corner.

Horrified, Feyd's head snaps back to his woman, suddenly recognizing the  Harkonnen gown wrapped around her curves. He finds her eyes brimming with meaning. 

She clutches his wrist hard, nails digging into tender skin, and it is like some sense of frantic, mutual understanding settles upon wife and husband. Her features soften and she looks at him, seemingly confused.

"I don't recognize this place," he lies. His heart clamors like a captive beast.

"Me neither." She pulls her hand away and takes a step back, her cheeks hot and her head dizzy as the universe's mysterious gears rotate around them. But she masks it well.

"I'm dreaming, aren't I?" Feyd rumbles, tracing his fingertips over the cool, smooth marble bedpost. It feels so real. It is real and always has been real.

"I don't know. I feel so awake." 

A flash of warmth blossoms in Feyd-Rautha's chest as he regards the woman he has seen so many times before, in visions and reality. Curiously, she moves around the light-flooded bedroom. Sunlight filters through the curtains, temporarily robbing her flesh of color. A frown decorates her brows and she turns back to face him. Years of comfort reside in the way she moves and Feyd chases after her with measured steps.

"What's your name?" He asks. She tells him only a forename, no House, because she has none, unfamiliar sounding, because the name was given to her 24,000 years ago. "I've never heard that name before," Feyd confesses, standing mere inches away from his wife. Her pretty face is craned upwards to meet the alluring gaze of his eyes. She would describe the color as baby blue. The prettiest shade in the world.

"And what's your name?" She breathes. No matter what this is, she has no reason to be nervous. It already happened.

He hesitates at that. Feyd-Rautha Rabban. But ultimately, he stays true to the script. "Feyd." 

The name sparks no judgment on the woman's features and he remembers the flood of immense, stupid relief and how he had concluded that there is probably more than one person in the universe named Feyd, that Harkonnens all look the same to foreigners. To talk to a person who only knows Feyd, not Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen had been his lifeline out of the gluttonous maws of death.

"Feyd," she repeats, suddenly giggling.

He too is in the mood for giggling, but he didn't giggle then, so he doesn't giggle now. Feyd leans an inch closer, eyes rapidly dancing across her mirthful face.

"Feyd as in you will fade away when I wake up?" She covers her mouth now, still laughing. Something compels him to laugh as well because all things considered, this is still a funny joke, even though neither of them will wake up. 

Or will they?

No. No, they won't.

The pressure against the apples of his cheeks doesn't feel so unfamiliar anymore, as the corners of his mouth lift into a wide grin. His lips part and what escapes him is a small haha.

Suddenly, the woman flinches and her smile drops. Perhaps she had the same thought as he did. She catches herself quickly and remembers: "Sorry! I just—"

"What? Oh, the black teeth? People usually find them very pretty where I'm from, desirable even.” Feyd closes his mouth. He's still unsure if laughter suits him, but his woman seems to like it. Always has.

"Oh, no, please keep laughing!" She wraps her hand around Feyd's wrist. So smooth, every part of him. She wants to curl against his body and rub her cheek against his pallid flesh. Even now, his features are still outlandish to her, strikingly pretty. The pale skin, so light that it almost looks translucent, the entirely bald head and lack of brows.

She should have always known that he's not a figment of her imagination, because she couldn't have imagined someone so pretty.

Encouraged by her touch, Feyd smiles once more and it has never been easier. It feels so good. He looks away from his woman who still holds his wrist and finds a mirror on the far wall. He looks foreign to himself, his cheeks not in the right place, but he's gotten more used to it.

"If I pinch you, will you wake up?" She teases, pinching his skin without waiting for his answer. She seems fascinated by the small blotch which decorates his wrist where she poked him with her nail, twisting and turning his wrist and hand like he's an interesting specimen. Of course she would look at him like that — his little scientist, life saver, love of his life.

Even though this is not a lucid dream, Feyd knows he doesn't have to worry about what he does, not with her. She has loved even the most unlovable parts of him. He feels compelled to do things he would have never done before her, such as dismantling the walls around his soul with laughter.

Even though this is not a lucid dream, she knows she doesn't have to worry about what she does, not with him. She also feels compelled to do things she would have never done before him. Such as getting married to the apocalyptic soundscape of an erupting volcano and adopting a lovely freak of immoral genetic engineering.

"So, Feyd…" She purrs his name like an exotic, amusing thing. "What would you like to do?"

Feyd pretends to be taken aback by the question, because no one ever used to ask him that. Not like that. "What would you like to do?" He coos, slinking closer with rolling gait and a small smirk on his serpentine features. He knows the way her pupils dilate well.

"There's a bed in the room, so…"

Feyd leers, smile turning wolfish. Yes, he will fuck his wife senseless. He might even fuck her so good that his own climax jostles him awake and out of whatever the fuck this bizarre simulation is. Which, upon second thought, would ruin his life.

She speaks again, moving her lips closer to his, pretty lashes lowering so they almost kiss her cheek bones "...So perhaps that means we should sleep."

Feyd acts baffled, then rumbles: "I won't sleep in my sleep."

"I meant sleeping with each other."

Of course she did. Feyd's hairless brows shoot up and something light flutters in his stomach when she starts giggling again, attempting to turn away as if suddenly bashful about her own words.

"To the bed, you confusing woman," he orders with a low growl and there is not even an ounce of resistance when his hands wrap around his wife's shoulders, nudging her backwards, so her knees bend around the mattress of their honeymoon bed and she sinks down.

Her husband's face hovers directly over her and she admires the dip of his cupid's bow and the soft curve of his jaws. So pretty. She reaches up and cups his cheek and the way his bone structure slots against her palms feels just right, always has.

Feyd pounces on her like a tiger and the strength and weight of the hard muscles concealed by a black tunic and slacks becomes evident. Heat pools into her abdomen instantly, caged under the man of and from her dreams who is made of flesh and blood, smells like it too. A familiar note of something leathery and metallic clings to him.

There is no need for a prelude, because they've loved each other a thousand times, in the past and the future. Feyd's lips kiss her decolletage before they find her throat and by the time they've found her lips, the hard ridge of his cock is pressed against her core which is only covered by the fabric of her dress, ridiculously easy to access.

Practical for him, as he said.

Why not, she thinks. It's not like the world is going to come collapsing down on them. Right?

Why not, he thinks. Even if the world comes collapsing down on them when they're done, it would be worth it.

Her hands curl around the back of his head gently and Feyd wants to weep at how soft her touch is, almost like she's worried of hurting him. He loves her nails in his scalp as much as he loves the loving dance of her fingertips.

She rolls her hips against his pelvis, ever amazed how hard his body is. A small grunt escapes her husband's mouth and mingles with the sloppy kiss which is all soft lips and saliva, leaving her open-mouthed and softly moaning for more as her core yearns for friction.

Feyd-Rautha is ever amazed by how soft and pliant her body is, breasts and stomach like a pillow for him to snuggle. And her little cunt is already grinding against his crotch. Under different circumstances, he might have had his fun right away, but that's his wife and her squirming hips are too tempting not to spoil her rotten before he fucks her. He reaches down, long fingers gliding up the curve of her thigh where the dress has pooled around her hips. Instinctively, her leg curls up higher, knee pressing against his ribs. Feyd works her underwear halfway off her rear, needing to get up to slide it off fully.

"If this is a lucid dream, I should be able to make myself wet with a thought," she muses as Feyd scoots down and freezes halfway, before he can settle down between her thighs, hard cock straining against his trousers.

The brief moment of hesitation is all it takes to throw him off the track of time that has carved its way through the universe.

"But it's not a lucid dream. They were visions all along, weren't they?" Feyd blurts, deviating from God's wicked script. For a moment, they both stare at each other in terror, as if expecting the universe to disintegrate and crush their souls into one smoldering singularity in space-time. 

But nothing happens.

Nothing at all.

The relic shuffles up slowly, tugging her dress down her legs and sitting back on her haunches.

"What is going on?" Feyd hisses, scared that the quantum spirits in the walls are listening. "What the fuck was that?"

He has never been so grateful to see the spark of knowledge in her eyes.

"That was our past, present and future."

"So, are we in a— a fucking time loop? Are we gonna wake up and go through hell again? Will I have to wait another eternity for the Guild to pluck you out of space?!"

"No!" She curls her arms around his shoulders and lays her forehead against his. No, my love… But it is a loop of sorts." Rapt fingertips glide slowly to the crescent scar on Feyd's pallid clavicle, inflicted by herself a few months back, first noticed by her 24,000 years ago, when Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen was not even a spark among the stars. "We could have never ended up together if we hadn't already seen us be together in the past, but what we really saw back then was our future. Weren't we the greatest actors? We were so good, we convinced even ourselves."

The terrible, beautiful Ouroboros has finally come to devour its own, cosmic tail and a shudder of awe passes through the two souls who straddle the starry serpent's undulating neck. From the macroscopic cosmos to the microscopic one within their bodies, it makes even their molecules tremble, even the quantum particles that make up the endless void of every ounce of matter, every brain, every soul.

"But I messed it up," Feyd insists. "I said the wrong thing. Why didn't we see ourselves having this conversation during our first dream? Why didn't we wear our wedding rings then?"

"There's never just one future." She kisses him on the lips, stealing his anxious breath for but a moment.

"How many?"

"Many." The engineer laughs, hands trailing up Feyd's neck to cradle his jaws. Panic fades from his gaze and flows into blue-eyed petulance. "Are your scientists aware of the many-worlds-theory?"

"Do I look like I know?" Strong hands hold his wife's face in a gentle vise.

"In quantum physics, a particle always has two states at once until it is observed. Then, its waveform collapses and it becomes one of the two states. But what happens to the other state?" She pauses, closing her eyes. "It exists too, but in another world. That is the many-worlds-theory.

With every decision we make, every beat of a butterfly's wing, every quiver of a molecule brushing against another, a new world branches off. That makes a tree with infinite branches or a delta with infinite rivers, rolling onwards and onwards since the birth of the first atom. Among this… infinity—" Her breath shudders in trembling reverence. "—there are branches in which we said it just right, because we knew what to say. Branches in which we saw exactly this conversation, or never found each other at all."

"So, why are we in this one where every vision of us acting was aligned perfectly? How probable is that?"

"As probable as any other nexus of visions. One infinity can't be bigger or smaller than another." A small smile plays around her lips. "Some say, the entire universe in itself is a simulation. For all we know, we could just be figments of someone's imagination, or pixels on a computer screen. Perhaps it would have been a less exciting story to tell, if it happened any other way."

The relic briefly turns her head to look at you — yes, you — quantum spirit in the walls.

"And why us?"

She is so happy that her husband's spark for science has finally been ignited, even if just for a few heartbeats — or a few beats of a butterfly's wings.

"When I was with the Bene Gesserit, they called it prescience. They said it's genetic and that my genes allowed me to survive millennia in cryo sleep." She sighs with bitterness. "If my own family has an aberrant sequence in our DNA, we might as well be the ancestors of— of everyone versed in prescience."

And the cause for so much suffering. 

Feyd sees it in her eyes, that flame of intrigue followed by the need to explore and sink into the inland empire of her mind and the ancient technology that's fused with her, a place where he can't follow. So, he tilts her face upwards in both loving hands and kisses her hard before breaking away with a coy grin.

"Are you saying you're my great great great aunt?"

"Yeah!" She blurts out laughing. "I think I am."

Giggling, she goes back in, throws her arms around Feyd's neck and topples him on his back, tangling her legs with his like their threads of fate.

In their angry daydreams, they have pictured themselves in red and gold as the king and queen of a new, better empire, handing out guns and bombs to the revolution.

But in their hearts, they're just a girl and a boy. An astronaut lost in space and a man who has yet to discover his destiny beyond being the unwilling prince of a noble House.

From now on, their future is theirs, and despite all the rights and wrongs, it boils down to a single question.

What do they want? A war to make the universe anew as they see fit? Or maybe just a universe as big as they are. Maybe just—

Peace.

Caught in the riptide I was searching for the truth There was a reason I collided into you Calling your name in the midnight hour Reaching for you from the endless dream So many miles between us then Now you are always here with me Nobody knows (nobody knows) why (why) Nobody knows how, and This feeling begins just like a spark Tossing and turning inside of your heart Exploding in the dark Calling your name in the midnight hour Reaching for you from the endless dream So many miles between us then Now you are always here with me Oh, inside me I find my way Back to you, back to you Calling your name in the midnight hour Reaching for you from the endless dream So many miles between us then Now you are always here with me Two words In your hands, in your heart It′s one (whole) universe You are always here with me

- Here With Me (Two Worlds) by Susie Suh

FEYD TAG LIST

@nostalgichoya, @forgedfromthestars, @sweetiee-o, @missbingu, @minedofmoria

@sebastianswallows, @charmingballoon, @flower-frog, @welliah, @aoi-targaryen

@coastalcowgirl35, @esolean, @szapizzapanda, @tatertooted, @sunny747

@ughdontbeboring, @meetmeatyourworst, @gravesdiggergirl

A/N: Thank you from the bottom of my heart for accompanying me on this writing journey ❤️ I'm a little heartbroken that it's over 😭 I had expected to be more relieved, but I'm actually so sad right now. Proud and happy but sad 😭 

If you enjoyed reading this labor of love of mine, please do let me know in a comment, if you can find the time 🫶🏻 No matter if you have or haven't commented before, I'm going to be so grateful about every thought, every reaction. Comments are genuinely the most rewarding thing when publishing my stories, much more so than hits and kudos, because fanfics (in my opinion) are to be relished and not consumed  🫶🏻

I'm not ready to say goodbye to the Dune universe. I have more stories in mind. The idea that I've been mulling over would be the largest, longest and most complex work that I've ever written. I'm talking about heavy world building, an entirely original planet and population, a much more depraved Feyd-Rautha and female protagonist. I've already been teetering at the border of an OC with the reader character in this one. For the next one, I would cross that line for the first time and go for an OC, make the FMC as fleshed out as Feyd is. The story would have a heavy emphasis on religion, corruption kink and cannibalism. It'd be a dove that's almost dead. Basically, all the world building would be my excuse to write deranged, blasphemous, messy smut. It definitely wouldn't be everyone's cup of tea. However, I wouldn't wanna start posting before I've written the entire thing, which might take a long time, so as not to put too much pressure on myself. Can't disappoint anyone if I'm only writing for myself for the time being ❤️

I also have a smutty F/M/M threesome oneshot cooking in my brain, one of the men being Feyd, the other being a surprise 🤭

Annndd I also have two other Feyd oneshots (that have been on ao3 for ages) to upload here, which I'll probably do within the next weeks.

If any of this sounds like something you'd enjoy, feel free to subscribe to me as an author on ao3 to receive email notifications, or follow me here on Tumblr 🫶🏻 I would be so happy to see you again, all of you 💕

[realtalkgames]

The Forest (GAME AND ENDINGS EXPLAINED)

This is a guide to the story in The Forest. The story is currently more or less complete, though the game developers will probably still add to it. This page attempts to place all the assorted story pieces in chronological order. It mostly covers major events, as the rest of the story is left somewhat unclear. The story is the background of the game. Much of the story is optional, and in many cases, can be completely ignored while still beating the game, such as in the case of a speed run. Many story items can be found that add to the story, some of which can be added to the survival guide in the notes section. In the to do list, the first task listed is 'Find Timmy'. This prompts the player to begin exploring the peninsula and to advance the story. Ending the game unlocks creative mode. After ending the game, the player can continue playing to the same save file. The Peninsula It is assumed that The Peninsula is located in Canada or another similar northern location, due to the climate, animals, geography, and location of the developers. It comprises the majority of the setting for The Forest and includes both an extensive below-ground cave system and large mountains, in addition to the basic forest floor. It is assumed that the caves suffer regular cave-ins, due to both the sounds the player can hear while in the caves (rocks tumbling) and the fact that several bodies (such as the Christian Missionaries below) are in an area only accessible by the rebreather yet come from a time period without such technology. The Ancient Ones Across the island, ancient-looking obsidian doors, artifacts - such as the Obelisk - and structures can be found. Some of these structures require sacrifices of some sort, including live human beings. These suggest a 'Lovecraftian' sort of ancient power. As well as that, mummified corpses can often be found near and around the doors, corpses that were left alone by the cannibals, suggesting the doors and the things found near them predate the cannibals (or perhaps the corpses weren't good to eat). This suggests that the use of the resurrection obelisk produces misshapen mutants, such as the Armsies, Virginias and mutant babies, (also seen prior to the boss fight with Megan Cross), and that it has been used before the first truly notable visitors - the missionaries - came to the peninsula. For reference, please see the Virginia Sketch and the Latin Paper. Christian Missionaries At some point (probably late 19th or early 20th century), many Christian missionaries or priests came to the peninsula. The Latin Paper, presumably belonged to said Christian missionaries, can be found in an abandoned camp in Cave 1 surrounded by aged items such as raw dynamite sticks. The Virginia Sketch almost certainly belongs to the missionaries, as it is drawn in the same fashion. It can be found near the grey tents with Bibles and crosses that seem to be a hallmark of the missionaries, along with being near lots of mummified corpses, praying to an obelisk drawing. Due to the presence of the Latin Paper, it can be assumed that the group of missionaries were Roman Catholics or similar, including someone with decent knowledge of church Latin. They left many Crucifixes scattered around the place, along with crosses projected on to walls sometimes near their heavily decayed and mummified corpses. Bibles too are a frequent find near their old camps and inside the caves next to the corpses. Their corpses are often left alone and mummified, which suggests a sudden catastrophic event which led to their death. According to the Latin Paper, the Missionaries encountered a four-legged woman, most likely referring to Virginia. This would mean that mutants at least were already on the peninsula at this point, further pointing towards the artifacts as the cause of the mutants. Sahara Sahara Therapeutics purchased the peninsula at some point to conduct its experiments on "eternal life" and resurrection through the obelisks, and built a complex system of offices and research labs, stretching as high as the mountains to deep below the ground into the caves. The Jarius Project was probably first marketed as a program, whose aim was to heal terminally ill children. These initial test subjects may have been sick children whose parents had volunteered them for participation in clinical trials at the facility where they were relocated to and continued receiving medical treatment. It's possible that Dr. Matthew Cross began experimenting with the artifact by using a living child to revive one that had died. However, this would in turn result in the death of the submitted child, who themselves would subsequently need to be revived at the cost of another, thus creating a cycle of child sacrifice and resurrection. After the process, they were placed in observation rooms where they began to develop genetic mutations ranging from grotesque physical deformities to highly exponential growth rates. These genetic mutations were isolated and studied for their possible applications in other fields, such as cloning and adult longevity. At some point, something went terribly wrong in the lab, as shown on one of the camcorder tapes; an Armsy escaped from its containment, which possibly led to a cannibal/mutant uprising that left the facility overrun. Almost all human inhabitants are gone, leaving behind decaying corpses, bloody body parts, and a few live mutants and cannibals. This suggests that this has happened fairly recently, as the head scientist Dr. Cross can be found at the end of the game, dead. Presumably killed by his daughter who stuck crayons into him. Missing Children A newspaper clipping can be found with the headline "Siblings Still Missing" in Cave 3. A milk carton can be found on the Yacht depicting Zachary, another missing child. It can be assumed that either Sahara took the children while the lab was still functional, in order to experiment on them, or to use the resurrection obelisk. Assorted Visitors There are many Abandoned Camps scattered across the The Forest. These groups include, but are not limited to: Cave Divers. Diving camps can be found deep in the caves, in sections only accessible by using the rebreather. Cave climbers/explorers. They have tents inside the caves as well in the non-water portions, along with some tents on the inside wall of the cenote. Hikers/explorers. Their sleeping bags and tents can be found all over the forest topside. Film Crew. They have a larger established camp with modern tents and film equipment scattered about, with scripts for a "Survivor" type program to be found on the ground nearby. These groups seem to have visited the forest at assorted times and to all have been cannibalized with no survivors. Yacht Family At some point, a yacht crashed in a small bay on the west side of the peninsula. This yacht seems to have arrived in 1984 or later. Supporting evidence includes the yacht magazine dated to 1984. On rare occasions Matthew Cross can be seen walking around on the yacht, so he may have a connection to it, or perhaps he uses it as a temporary shelter. Several drawings made by his daughter Megan Cross can also be found. Matthew Cross and Family The exact sequence of these events is unclear and could paint radically different pictures of Matthew Cross depending on their order. For some period prior to the lab's downfall, Matthew worked for Sahara Therapeutics as head of the Jarius Project, researching the resurrection obelisk as indicated by his credit in Orientation Slideshow #2. He was at least aware of the power obelisk, as referenced by an email that he sent noting that it could take down a plane. This suggests that with his knowledge of the power obelisk's ability to take down planes and the resurrection obelisk's ability to revive dead children, he took down the plane the player starts the game in, in hopes of acquiring a live child, and uses said child in the ultimate goal of reviving his daughter. He had a wife called Jessica, who divorced him at some point, along with filing a restraining order against him. According to the dates on both the restraining order and the Autopsy Report, the restraining order was filed 3 months before Megan's death, although the year is unknown. The restraining order also specifies "the father will have no contact with mother or daughter." It is unknown whether Jessica was aware of the full nature of his work at Sahara Therapeutics. Megan appears in a Camcorder video showing her alive and in a wheelchair in what appears to be the Sahara Lab's Cafeteria with many other people present. Another video shows Megan, again in a wheelchair, present during the escape of an Armsy. The autopsy report can be found and picked up which shows that Jessica was murdered in a homicide by multiple stab wounds and head trauma. Matthew eventually gets fired from the lab for unethical and inappropriate use of company equipment, presumably tinkering with the resurrection obelisk. Matthew is on the peninsula alone (except for the cannibals), and he decides to use the power obelisk to bring down an airplane to steal a living child (Timmy) to revive his daughter. He is the red man which is seen by the player after the plane crash. The red paint acts like a protection from the cannibals. The Player The protagonist who you play as is Eric LeBlanc. He appears to have adept survival skills, as he can build shelters and go hunting within a short amount of time after the plane crash, with nothing but a handheld axe and an outdoor survival book. He appears to be a reality TV star, as found from a magazine cover. This magazine also suggests his wife is dead. He is most likely a TV survivalist, similar to Bear Grylls. He has one son, Timmy. The Plane Crash The plane may have originated from New York, as certain passengers are wearing "I ♥ NY" shirts and suitcases contain statue of liberty figurines. It is assumed that the plane is predestined to arrive in Germany, because the label on the plane resembles the logo for the German airline "Lufthansa". The plane was carrying many tennis players, who had balls and rackets in their suitcases. The plane crashes after experiencing sudden storm-like turbulence and engine failure. Some indeterminate time after the crash, a man in red paint (Dr. Matthew Cross) takes Timmy away while the player futilely crawls towards him. Only Timmy, the dead stewardess, the red man (Dr. Cross), and the player(s) are present on the plane when the player wakes after the crash, suggesting any dead had already been taken by the cannibals. The mostly intact condition of the rear section of the plane make it possible that many other passengers could have survived, but that they had already fled the area, possibly upon the death of the stewardess. Their scattered locations across the peninsula suggest that some may have survived as long as several days before falling prey to the cannibals. Finding Timmy The player explores the peninsula to great extent, gearing up to head to the bottom of the sinkhole. The Vault, found at the bottom of the sinkhole, can be opened with the keycard. It leads to the research lab. After exploring much of the lab, the player finds the Resurrection Obelisk, with the dead Timmy inside. The obelisk/machine prompts him for a sacrifice when Timmy is hooked to an operating table. The player then realizes that Matthew had kidnapped Timmy to use as a sacrifice to bring Megan back to life. The player goes on a hunt for Megan, finding many of her childish drawings that are just like Timmy's. He encounters a dead Matthew Cross, with crayons shoved inside his eyes and mouth. A Megan Drawing suggests that Megan saw her father as a scary red monster, possibly giving motive for Megan killing her father. Megan is finally found, surrounded by drawings and toys. She flies a toy plane through the air before crashing it to the floor and pointing at the player, suggesting she knows who he is. Megan then suffers a seizure and transforms into a boss mutant that behaves and looks similar to a Virginia, including the spider legs and mutant babies. After defeating Megan, the player takes her corpse back to the artifact, only to find out that a live sacrifice is required. The player then uses a new keycard found on Megan's body to go to a second artifact. This one has the power to crash planes, seemingly by using an EMP. The player can then choose to use this power to bring down a plane or shut down the device and let the plane pass safely. Happily, Ever After? After taking down the plane, the screen cuts to black with the text "One Year Later". The player and his son are being hosted on a talk show, where the player competes in a friendly tree chopping contest with the host, known as Doran. It is assumed that the player did the same thing that Matthew did, kidnapping a child, and resurrecting his son. During the cut scene, Timmy is shown to be having small tremors and shakes. The happy music turns to horror as Timmy begins to have a violent seizure on the ground, implying that he will undergo a mutation just as Megan did. The character rushes over to comfort Timmy. Timmy's spasms suddenly stop, and he looks up at his father, the player, and smiles. It immediately cuts to black and the credits begin to roll, The next scene appear within Timmy's perspective as he is now a young adult, in his small apartment, he looks over his bulletin board with a map of an unknown island (with a possibility that said island has a link to future plot). Scene ends in another cliffhanger as Timmy goes into seizure again. He walks to his window, overlooking a city. Alternate Ending If the player chooses to shut down the device, he will leave Timmy behind (even more signified as he burns his remaining photo of Timmy) and return back to the island with the possibility of being rescued (albeit without Timmy with him). The game will return to normal with pacification and horde mode unlocked via secret artifact, and a 5 new craftable decoration.