#Oh also Mr. Peabody

[alychelms]

I've been threatening to do a Rook & Rose version of that one Twelfth Night production photo for a while now... so guess what I stayed up waaaaay too late last night, finishing!

[leeechin]

☆ bf ni-ki headcanons ! (fluff) 🥮

a/n: nothing but pure fluff and a few curses and kisses!!

a 'kys' + 'kms' joke is also thrown in here !!

♡ enha m.list | post queue | navigation

bf!riki being so much taller than you but uses your smaller frame to hide behind you as you guys walk thru a haunted house, attempting to cover his face by using your shoulder, but you're just too fast for riki to catch up to! forcing him to just hold you tightly beside him.

bf!riki spoiling you at the amusement park by winning you a lot of stuffed animals, having no more space for him to hold them for you, ni-ki forces his other band mates to fill their arms with the stuffed animals, as they follow behind you guys, practically being your guys' babysitter, seeing the two of you guys skip and hold hands at the amusement park. riki not wanting you to hold anything but your mini handbag and his hand !

bf!riki having an unknown hatred for the color pink, but loves seeing you wear pink clothes, changing his perspective on the color and matching you here and there.

bf!riki when you guys match each others freak (not in a nsfw way) "you're like the mr. peabody to my sherman!" you randomly say while cuddled up in riki's embrace. "your so right baby oh my god!" riki responds, you guys both laugh, "i'm definitely that dog, i got that dawg in me." "okay riki…" "you know we locked in like them baby." "except we're also boyfriend and girlfriend!" you respond, turning on the remote to play the actual movie now.

bf!riki when he's struggling to put on a tie for a fancy event, and the rest of his fellow band mates are too busy getting ready on their own to help. so he calls you to come over and help. you reach your arms out, easily putting his tie in perfect place with a knot. "all done!" your boyfriend smiles at you and rewards you with a place kiss on the lips, leaning over and holding you into a tight embrace.

bf!riki and you struggling to decide what dessert to get at a bakery shop, so ni-ki justs ends up ordering the whole menu. "i can't pick riki!" you frown, voice quiet as he 's on speaker with his phone, calling the bakery place. "uhhh actually can i just order two of everything on the menu..?" he sheepishly says to the person on the other line. the person seems shocked but agrees to riki's order, hanging up the call after confirming all the details. you playfully swat his shoulder. "don't worry y/n i'm gonna give them a big fat tip for this, plus if there’s some we don't like, the others will definitely eat them." you smile in response, placing a kiss on the tip of his nose.

texts with bf riki !

you:

you: who are ur opps fr 🤨⁉️

you: bro is NOT nonchalant and mysterious, quit the act😹!!!!

you: yk you're not gangster 😂🤣😂🤣 you were literally just arguing with kids in the chat on roblox on how 'i'm actually niki from enhypen"

riri 👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻: it’s you. you're my biggest opp.

😠😡🤬

you: but you love me sm 🥰

riri 👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻: unfortunately

you: okay bitch kys

🖕

you: then i’ll also kms and fall down a ditch bcuz of what u said to me.

riri 👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻: noooooo i'm your bitch pls 😍☺️😊😇😇😇😇

. ✦ · .

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀˚ ⊹ ˚

⠀⠀ ⊹

you: i want you soooo bad you're such a cutie pie ☺️☺️☺️ like why are you soooo sooo cute i'm actually gonna go insane and rip all of my hair out until i'm bald

riri 👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻: omg ur gonna twin with megamind!! 😻

you: are u saying saying i have a big forehead…………. INSTANT BLOCK. FUCK YOU NISHIMURA.

riri 👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻: NO NO NO THAT WAS A BAD COMPARISON

riri 👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻: BABY DONT GO ILY ILL SHAVE MY HEAD OFF TO MATCH YOI DONT LEAVE 😢😢😢😢😣😣😣😔

you: ilysm ur so silly

riri 👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻: ilym

❤️

riri 👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻: wanna interlock pinky toes ???? 🤩 [foot picture]

you: …

you: you're insane.

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

64 years ago today, November 19, 1959, The Rocky & Bullwinkle Show premiered. (known as Rocky & His Friends during the first two seasons and as The Bullwinkle Show for the last three seasons) It originally aired from November 19, 1959, to June 27, 1964, on the ABC and NBC television networks. Produced by Jay Ward Productions, the series is structured as a variety show, with the main feature being the serialized adventures of the two title characters, the anthropomorphic moose Bullwinkle and flying squirrel Rocky. The main adversaries in most of their adventures are the Russian-like spies Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale. Supporting segments include Dudley Do-Right (a parody of old-time melodrama), Peabody's Improbable History (a dog and his pet boy Sherman traveling through time), and Fractured Fairy Tales (classic fairy tales retold in comic fashion), among others.

Rocky & Bullwinkle is known for quality writing and wry humor. Mixing puns, cultural and topical satire, and self-referential humor, it appealed to adults as well as children. It was also one of the first cartoons whose animation was outsourced; storyboards were shipped to Gamma Productions, a Mexican studio also employed by Total Television. The art has a choppy, unpolished look and the animation is extremely limited even by television animation standards at the time. Yet the series has long been held in high esteem by those who have seen it; some critics described the series as a well-written radio program with pictures.

The show was shuffled around several times (airing in afternoon, prime time, and Saturday morning time slots), but was influential to other animated series from The Simpsons to Rocko's Modern Life. Segments from the series were later recycled in the Hoppity Hooper show.

There have been numerous feature film adaptations of the series' various segments, such as the 2000 film The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle which blended live-action and computer animation and the 1999 live-action film Dudley Do-Right, which both received poor reviews and were financially unsuccessful. By contrast, an animated feature film adaptation of the "Peabody's Improbable History" segment, Mr. Peabody & Sherman, was released to good reviews in 2014.

Mr. Peabody will star in a new reboot series picked up for 13-episodes.

In 2013, Rocky and His Friends and The Bullwinkle Show were ranked the sixth Greatest TV Cartoon of All Time by TV Guide.

[Classic Retrovision Milestones]

+

Narrator: And so alls well that ends well for our high flying friend and his lowbrow companion. I think that it's safe to say that these boys put the moan in matrimony.

Snidely Whiplash: Oh that's terrible!

[emo-metalhead-punki]

Rant About SolarDiscomfort

⚠ TW // Gr00ming ⚠

(idk I do wanna draw this so yea....this isn't a gift)

So SolarDiscomfort or Brooke which is her real name

She is a deviantart artist that I meet in 2018 when I was 13 yrs old (I was okay, kinda, mental health issues)

So I remember Brooke followed me and requested me to draw her OC and so I did, and she thanked me so yea

Then I followed her back, her art is...alright ig lol, but I think is cool but need some progress, and we send each other gift and all that, so it's before all the gr00m3R thing happened, so let's talk about that if I can remember

So on somewhere on 2020, Brooke has proposed her best friend named Kate who is 17 at the time, they been best friends for 4 years but later becomes a couple which I was "nice, congratulations you two" but it's not...so, I use the wayback machine and I do remember reading this but I didn't understand

Ngl this give me a huge "WFT" moment like, what kind of state that you live in and how this is okay?... And get this, she doesn't support mapp even tho she DATED A 17 YEAR OLD WHILE BEEN A 20 YEAR OLD LIKE YOU CAN'T DO THAT BITCH

And then one year later, they fuxking broke up which is a good thing and I remember Brooke telling me to stop supporting Kate cuz she's.... too be honest, idk

All I remember that Kate is a tracer cuz she use a base without giving the artist credit but then her mutual tell her and then there the credit and more drama of Brooke did

Like, she would rant that one artist named serpy and I try to understand what's going on after reading the posts of Brooke but I feel like Brooke is taking her anger out on serpy, but I did stay away from the drama cuz is was too much and she keeps typing "crazy laughs" like...uhm...okay then...no one cares what you did man....I do really remember the drama but her account is deactivated....like every Deviantart artist do....

But if you know her, here a drawing of it, in case you recognized the art style

The left one is Brooke and the left one is kate

And I do wanna talk about Kate, like she may be kinda of annoying (cuz she kept requesting me a lot like everyday ) but all in seriously, I do remember her dating that one Mexican dude named Max (not his real name lol but I'm gonna called him)

That I don't trust like I hate him, I don't trust him and I seeing his irl photo of him and I still don't trust him...and I do remember seeing the message from him like I got highly uncomfortable by him

(I'm a Mexican, if someone didn't know lol)

Oh btw he also made NSFW as well, while being a minor ofc, classic teenagers in 2017 are started drawing NSFW cuz that's fine...right?...

Nope...it's not...you gotta wait dude...

But I did check his bio for his age but he didn't put his age...but then I saw a post of it, it turns out his 18 (on 2020) so I assume that he was 15 or 16 while Kate was like either 12 or 13 (i can't do math right, if I'm wrong then yea...) but I do believe that Kate was also groomed by him and till this day, she didnt talk about this like she was like too busy being happy instead of talking about this like why, how you deal such a traumatic thing and then later forget it, i mean, good for her but I will like be traumatized for life and not feeling happy

But for Brooke, yea...so if she like made an account on Tumblr and then see saw this post I be like...yea man...you got exposed as a P3d0 and a groomer man like...you should have say any of these things and your so toxic to serpy that she didn't do anything to you

So your career is over lol but I'm glad you didn't groomed me and talk shit about me cuz I didn't even like you like your so toxic towards any artist like why man...you didn't do anything to you like "oh she suck ass" and "she ugly asf" and "she's dumb as hell*

I mean...I dont like serpy ship cuz it's a zoophilia ship like...she basically ship Anne from frozen with mr. Peabody (the dog) from I forgot the name like it's highly uncomfortable to look and which I should have say no to her when she requested me that shit...so yea...she still ship it till this day...and her ships are mostly crossover so...yea...(That one shipper that ships spinel with a fucking car from cars movie)

So yea...Brooke...if you reading this...

Keep your nasty behavior to yourself instead of spreading it like a disease, I use to think your cool but now, your just a toxic woman, a p3do and a groomer

Peeps, watch out for SolarDiscomfort in case she made a Tumblr account

[tornrose24]

Could any of the Dreamworks Animation films that I’ve seen work as a live action film?

In light of the news of How to train your Dragon getting a live action remake, I decided to do this list for fun. Keep in mind that these are the films that I HAVE seen from start to finish, in case your favorite is not on here. (Madagascar and Trolls are such examples of not being on the list).

Prince of Egypt-Absolutely yes. As long as you cast the right ethnicities for the roles (who are also good singers if you want to take the musical approach), and hire a crew that is good at doing their research, then yes this could work.

Road to El Dorado–Also yes for the same reasons as Prince of Egypt.

Spirit–The best thing about this is that you could use real horses and not rely on CGI for this one. Though some people (and we know who they are) would be ticked off because ‘oh the Americans are the bad guys.’

Chicken Run–Nah, I’d leave this alone. It’d be interesting as a stage play, but I don’t think a live action film would work. Plus I feel that would make a lot of the darker elements even worse. Alternatively, you could screw this up by having it be human focused and have OCs be the ones to save the chickens like in Dumbo, and no one wants that.

Shrek (any of the films)–Eh…. If they did 80’s style practical effects and saved the CGI for specific things, it could work. Otherwise half the characters would be in CGI as well as almost the entire scenery if you went with the lazy route, in which case it won’t work. Also, given how things have changed, someone would have Lord Farquaad be played by a regular sized man, which would not be taken well by some fans. If they mess with Fiona’s character, it wouldn’t be well received either.

Puss in Boots–same as Shrek. If they go with the CGI route for the entire cast, it won’t work, unless you go with a theater approach (which would be the better choice).

Kung Fu Panda (any of them)–Absolutely not. They’d go with the CGI route for this one and it’d be crap. Also my understanding is that Chinese audiences love the Kung Fu Panda films and I don’t think you’d want to anger them if you were trying to appeal to them for money like with the live action Mulan. The ONLY way you could do this is to have the actors in costumes (not cheesy costumes, but good costumes that incorporate the animal elements as well as Chinese culture) and take nods to Eastern theater/cinema for this to work. Knowing Hollywood, it’s doubtful the second option would come into play.

Monsters vs Aliens–It’d be neat to see this with cheesy old school effects, but I can’t see this being a live action film given how the original didn’t do well enough with most people.

How to train your Dragon (what started this whole thing)–A puppet version of Toothless would be cool. However we all know the dragons are most likely going to be CGI, so… yeah, this might not be well liked.

Megamind–given how popular Marvel is, they could pull this off (but probably try to have Megmind be in disguise for longer chunks of the film to avoid having the actor be in make up so much). Though expect certain people to throw a fit because the whole thing with Hal being more than just a creep towards Roxane is STILL relevant in this day and age.

Rise of the Guardians–Same with Shrek. In the right hands the costumes and make up would be amazing. But they’d likely go for CGI for Bunnymund and the fairies, as well as most of the scenery, in which case it might not work.

Mr. Peabody and Sherman–Could you learn from the mistakes the first live action Sonic film almost made? It all depends on how Mr. Peabody is done, but either way I don’t think this adaption could work. Then again a lot of those ‘Rocky and Bullwinkle and friends’ cartoons have had several live action films, so I wouldn’t be surprised if this film also got that treatment.

Home–Nah. I know what route they’d take with this film (given that most of the cast are aliens, and they wouldn’t use a live action cat for Pig, not to mention all the alien stuff), so no.

Boss Baby–OH HELL NO! NO! NO! NO! Not only is this a terrible idea, but it’s already been proven that CGI babies are terrible. You know damn well they’ll go with the CGI baby route if they do this. I don’t want to see a CGI baby in live action talk with an adult’s voice. We will have entered an apocalypse if this ever happens.

Captain Underpants–Honestly I’d be curious to see this and I think it could be pulled off. The catch is that there’s some things that’d have to be CGI (unless you keep the books’ more creative approaches to certain scenes and moments), you’d have the same Farquaad issue and have to have a regular sized person play the bad guy, you’d need to find the right crew who wouldn’t treat the story or characters as complete jokes, and you’d need to find a pretty well rounded actor who shares physical similarities to CU/Krupp, has enough energy to play both roles, and is willing to… well, you know… be running around in his underwear for all to see.

The Bad Guys–this would be hard to do if you made the wrong creative choices. You could do the Sonic approach with the main characters, but if you just made them all humans with animal characteristics/are just regular humans with code names then its probably not going to work (I mean, that’s interesting, but not everyone would be all for that). Also, I don’t know if just having the actors in make up and costume would work.

[lousirs]

And out of the blue, are you in others fandoms? Another media that you are so obsessively attached? XD

I AM NOT OBSESSIVELY ATTACHED DON'T SAY THAT!! *proceeds to draw lou for the millionth time* /j

anyways, i do have other interests and linger around some fandoms, but i haven't posted anything for them yet.

since the pandemic, ive spent my free-time going back on stuff i watched when i was younger and falling back in love with (most of) it. ...mainly cause i was inspired by an artist on twitter draw a bunch of cartoons they enjoyed.

i guess my biggest example there would be mr peabody and sherman... that was one of my favourite films and still is. oh, and mpas is one of the main reasons why i was curious about uglydolls (i blame that one post saying that penny peterson and lou are related). those two are quite similar, but i hate penny and lou is one of my favourites. crazy

other things i've gotten back into are stuff like danger mouse, the adventures of abney and teal (this show has so much influence on my art lmao)(if you ever wonder why i draw the prettydolls' nose as i do THIS SHOW IS WHY), octonauts somewhat (i've been sucked in by the pretty fanart) monster high (gen 1) and aphmau's roleplays (mainly minecraft diaries)

yes... i know... i'm an og aphmau fan. i'm sorry for my crimes...

and aside from that, i'm also in fandoms like cookie run and the sort... and i've been getting into webcomics recently too (the glass scientists is a personal fav).

there's others, but i'll keep things short (for my standards lmao)

[fragwuerdiger-episodenguide]

(037) Die drei ??? und der Super-Wal

Klappentext

Das Verschwinden des fünfjährigen Teddy bringt einige Ungereimtheiten mit sich: Welches Geheimnis birgt eine Zimmerflucht des seit Jahren geschlossenen Hotels "Mermaid Inn", in dem der Geist einer berühmten Schauspielerin umgehen soll? Wer macht sich an zahlreichen Kunstgegenständen zu schaffen? Die drei ??? setzen alles daran, den kleinen Jungen wieder zu finden, und dem heimlichen Hehler sein Handwerk zu legen.

Veröffentlichungshistorie

Buch (Random House): 036, 1983, M. V. Carey, The Mystery of the Missing Mermaid Buch (Kosmos): 036, 1985, Leonore Puschert (aus dem Amerikanischen übertragen) Hörspiel (Europa): 037, 1985

⁉️ Allgemein

Handlungsort

Los Angeles

Kategorie

Diebstahl

Figuren

Justus Jonas

Peter Shaw

Bob Andrews

Mr. Conan (Conine)

Regina Stratton, Mutter von Teddy

Teddy Stratton, Sohn von Regina

Mr. Clark Burton, Galeriebetreiber und Besitzer des Mermaid Hotels (😈)

Mrs. Peabody, Nachbarin von Mr. Conan

Mooch Henderson, Hilfskellner

Mr. Anderson (keine Sprechrolle)

Mrs. Watkins (keine Sprechrolle)

Toni Gould, Cafébesitzer (keine Sprechrolle)

Margaret Gould, Cafébesitzerin (keine Sprechrolle)

Kommissar Reynolds

Fergus, Abfallsammler und armer Schlucker

🏖 Rocky Beach Universum

Orte

Venice, Stadtteil von Los Angeles

Speedway, Straße

Einrichtungen

Mermaid Inn, Hotel

Sonstiges

Clark Burton, Schauspieler

Francesca Fountain, Schauspielerin

🛼 Sonstiges

Lustige Dialoge

Justus: "Sieht nach einem Fall für die drei ??? aus." Peter: "Oh, hoffentlich nicht, Justus. Wenn kleine Kinder verschwinden, liegt meistens eine Entführung vor und damit habe ich nicht so gerne zu tun."

Peter: "Was war das? Hat jemand geschossen?" Justus: "Immer mit der Ruhe, Peter. Das war ein Feuerwerkskörper."

Justus: "Ja, ja natürlich! Verflixt! Wir müssen etwas tun. Etwas ins Wasser werfen. Deine Schuhe, Bob, wir müssen den Hai vertreiben!" Bob: "Meine Schuhe? Warum denn nicht Deine?" Justus: "Meine Schuhe, deine Schuhe ist doch egal! Hauptsache wir werfen etwas ins Wasser und vertreiben den Hai! Also zieh deine Schuhe schon aus, Bob!"

Justus: "Der Balken ist gebrochen! Ich sitze fest!" Peter: *Lacht" Bob: "Meine Güte!" Justus: "Ich komm nicht frei!" Peter: "Ich sag doch immer: Jogging wär' ganz gut für Dich!"

Peter: "Ja und ich mach inzwischen ein Foto für das Album der Drei ???." Justus: "Untersteh dich, Peter! Nein, ich will nicht!" Peter: "Bitte recht freundlich!" Justus: "Aufhören damit, Peter!" Peter: "Nicht aufregen, Chefdetektiv. Sonst hast Du so 'n roten Kopf! Prima, das ist gut! So bleiben!"

Phrasenschwein

Fat shaming Justus wird beleidigt

Mitgehört! Verstärker wird eingeschaltet

🏳️‍🌈 Queer/diversity read

Shippy moments

Bob: "Da ist ein Hai, Peter! Komm doch raus! Ein Hai genau hinter Dir!" Justus: "Komm! Ich helf' Dir." Bob: "Der Hai dreht ab! Oh, Mann! Mein Gott, hab ich eine Angst gehabt!"

Peter: "Justus! Stell dir vor, dass Du ganz schlank bist! Vielleicht hilft das." Bob: "Wir könnten Justus ja auch mit Schmierseife bekleckern, dann flutscht er nur so zu uns rauf!"

Diversity, Political Correctness and Feminism

-

[anyydidi]

Tag 9 People You Want to Get to Know Better.

Thank you so much for tagging me, @theiceemperor !! Really made my day, i don’t think i’ve ever done this before <3

Three Ships: Oh man, my top 3 ships change all the time but at the moment it’s probably Brett x Reagan (Inside Job), Skeppy x BBH (Dream SMP, not the actual people!) and Rapunzel x Eugene (Rapunzel lol). Im also not that much into ships anymore, since i focus more on the found family but yea.

First-ever ship: I am very ashamed to admit that but,, Russia x America from countryhumans. I was into that fandom A LOT during 2019 and it was the first fandom where i actively started shipping. Though if we count those childish ships that crossed my mind once and never came back then Foxy x Mangle lol. I think i saw one animation with them when i was like 9 or 10 but never thought about them again until later.

Last song: WITCHERY by SHADXWBXRN

Currently reading: I don’t really read normal books anymore besides for school, since i prefer fanfics, especially oneshots. My last multi-chaptered fanfic i finished this week was Sometimes the picket fence isn’t perfect by skimmingthesurface on AO3. And last normal book i read was Gallant by V.E. Schwab sometime back in October.

Currently watching: Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure. Yeah, it’s amazing. But before that i started watching She-ra (im on the 3rd season) and The mr. Peabody and Sherman show (also on 3rd season). Im planning to finish them both after finishing Rapunzel.

Currently consuming: i finished eating a mandarin like five minutes ago

Currently craving: honestly, i crave many many things all the time, but the strongest one right now is probs Brussel Baguette from Bageterie Boulevard (something like czech Subway).

Tagging: i don’t really have much mutuals on tumblr soo, im gonna tag at least @whitecatindisguise and @alexowillfightu <3

[valeskakingdom]

Return (part 29)

It was raining now when it was time to say good bye to Arkham. It was time to say hello to freedom. Free from therapy, free from electro shocks, free from the threats by other inmates, free from the disgusting served food, free from the impolite guards that always laughed and bullied them all the time. It was time for a new chapter of life and experiences.

One thing that Scarlet will miss was Andy, he wasn't allowed to leave the asylum. He hadn't gotten no therapy, yet, so there was no way out. They couldn't snuggle him out either since there was no use for him outside. Oswald, let's say just needed one bodyguard and not two - but that doesn't mean to leave Andy now. Oh no. Scarlet and him would stay in touch. You wonder how? Simple answer: Dave, the corrupt guard and Scarlet's little friend, knew what Hugo Strange has planned with Scarlet and Oswald before. He also knew that Scarlet and Andy had developed a special relationship, something like partners in crime, something like Bonnie and Clyde - and so he decided help them keep being in touch with giving them both a little phone. They would be able to call in the evenings, making things up to reunite.

And the plan worked: Andy hid the phone under a pillow from his bed, he set out to use it every evening when the guards took their night tour - no one found it, yet. Scarlet decided to take the phone always with her, just in case something happened - and sooner or later she would try to manage help him to escape.

***

Right now, Oswald and Scarlet were lead outside to the gates that were about to open. Happiness filled their bodies, maybe also some little nervousness and excitement. Several weeks, even months had passed which they spent together in this shithole. And now the final day has come where to be released. They never thought this day would come since they both were wanted criminals - Scarlet even worse than Oswald. But now it was and especially Scarlet could implement the rest of her plans again.

"Isn't it wonderful, Scarlet?" Oswald smiled wide, admiring his certificate again - he really couldn't believe it he got one through his now sanity "I can't believe that"

"Sure, Ossy," Scarlet snorted "It's wonderful" She was still leery about Hugo Strange's offer. He had something in mind, otherwise he wouldn't have offered her freedom. But what was it? Was it the need to control her outside? Was it to check how she would damage Gotham City? Was it to see how she scared people to death? Or was it to see how she protected Oswald?

"You shouldn't think so negative about him my love," Oswald looked up at her "He did us a favor. A big one."

"But this favor is of no use if you only use the situation to your advantage." Scarlet told him, pointing at her scar in her face "This is the best example. He modified me into a killer machine through his therapy and now wants to see whether it worked. So with you. You could say we are his test objects."

"He's been our friend, Scar-..."

"He's never been our friend, Oswald" Scarlet spatted "He never was and he'll never be. He's a narcissist, he wants to profit from every single task he does. He doesn't care about your problems, he just pretended to be your friend to bond. All he wanted was your trust and the belief to trust him. Nothing else. Why do you think I've got the scars?"

"I-I...uhm..." Oswald was shocked, he didn't know what to say. Was that the truth? Is that true what she was saying? Hugo Strange played with them? He never cared about Oswald? He never cared about about his problems and health? He just cared about the development of his therapy? No way! That couldn't be true! Hugo Strange always has been nice to him. He asked about his wealth, he asked about his problems... and that would be all fake?

"That was all him and his stupid assistant Mrs. Ethel Peabody. Or remember all the therapy sessions where you've been stuck together with an aggressive Helzinger and he tried to beat you to a pulp? That was no coincidence, that was all Hugo Strange, he has all planned those things." She said sternly, which shocked him even more - he believed her and started to question all his impressions and opinions about him. He couldn't believe that a person could be so cruel to another "Now come, Ossy," Scarlet grabbed him by his arm in his shock "Let's go away from that place"

***

"Are you fucking serious?! The cops might be around!" Scarlet tried to hold him back from knocking at his old residence's door but Oswald insisted to.

"I'd like to say hello to an old friend," Oswald kept smiling at her. He didn't think about any consequences, he didn't think that the cops would actually put them back in jail if they caught them. He just to do what the feeling told him where he thought it would be right. But was it really that right to do that?

"Can't you do that another time? Or not a bit?" Scarlet hissed, making deep eye contact with him - but the attempt him having second thoughts failed deeply. He knocked on the door a few times with a big grin in his face, in the hope to meet his friend in a lovely way - but it didn't happen.

"Yeah?" A somewhat older guy opened the door with an surprised look when recognized Oswald. He couldn't believe it that he stood right in front of him. Oswald?, he thought, it's been such a long time since we've seen last. He was glad to see him but not because they'd be friends - oh, no. Rather because his boss would be pleased to see Oswald.

"Is Butch present? I'd like to-..." Oswald couldn't even speak his sentence out as some more suddenly arrived and grabbed him and Scarlet, tearing him inside the house. Oswald was overwhelmed that he didn't know how to react. Why was this guy so harsh to him? What has he done? Did he do something bad in the past?

"We've been waiting for you all the time, Ossy" One of the men chuckled bitterly and pushed him forward through the halls harshly - so did they with Scarlet. They didn't show any kind of respect to them, they rather treated them as any dogs they've collected in the streets, they treated them like trash. The reason why though, was in the past several months ago. It all started when Butch lost his hand through Oswald and later was manipulated by Theo Galavan and his sister Tabitha. For Butch it was the beginning of a new chapter, everything would start to change now - and it did.

"Hey, hey, hey! I can actually walk alone, you don't need to harrass me with your hands!" Scarlet hissed trying to break free from the man's grip, he slowly started to hurt her with his tight grip "Now let me go!"

"Shut up, Patel!" Another man slapped her on the head to shut her up "We don't need no bitchery, especially not from you. Now walk!"

"Very naughty for a pinhead like you," Scarlet muttered, but again this certain guy slapped her on the head to shut her up. But before she could even react they stopped walking as they stood in front of a huge door - presumably Butch had to wait in there.

"Boss?" The man knocked at the door and opened it "You'll never guess who just knocked on the door." The guy had a huge grin on his face, he knew that Butch would probably take revenge on Oswald since he chopped his hand the other day. In the past, he has mentioned that he wanna take revenge on him for sure, but details stayed hidden. You just would come to that idea that Tabitha suggested him several ways how to other kill or torture Oswald.

"If I'll never guess, then why not just tell me, jackass?" Butch just spatted "If you say I have three guesses, well, then that's a game. It's an annoying stupid game, but at least it makes sense." In this moment, the guys pushed Scarlet and Oswald through the door frame that Butch was able to see both of them. He was surprised, he saw the person he hated most with his dumb partner who always claimed to be a professional "Son of a..."

"Hi," Oswald panted with a slight smile, interrupting Butch, cursing in anger. Even though he's been treated harshly already, he still thought he'd be able to have a normal conversation with him after all the bad things that happened. He still thought that But h was the same Butch as in the past, he still thought he was his friend since he fragile remembered those things he did to him.

"Well, well, well," Tabitha stood up and grabbed the knife that was stuck in the food that was actually served in front of them. She was ready to kill that bastard and that partner of a bitch, especially for the several tries to kill her brother. She wanted to take revenge on them, she wanted to let them know it feels like when someone tries to kill you.

"I heard they let you out of Arkham," Butch said to Oswald in a calm tone, then looked at Scarlet, examining her from head to toe. She changed a lot in his eyes. Her scar on her eye was more visible, her hair was rumpled and gaze was almost horrifying. She gave you a death stare, you didn't know whether it was with or without a reason, you didn't know whether she wanted to kill you now or not.

"Yes," Oswald smiled "Happy day" he chuckled amused and happy.

"But I'm surprised that they let you out, Scarlet. Didn't think they'd cure you in any way" Butch finally talked to Scarlet, ignoring Oswald for now. He said it with some certain respect though. The chance was too high to misgauge her in her doing and acting and even if she was alone now, he knew she'd be able to attack him anyhow.

"There was no need to cure me," Scarlet chuckled bitterly "They chose me as Oswald's little bodyguard since they became aware of my skills and power - and they advanced it. Wanna give it a try?" She hoped for a 'yes' so she would be able to punch one of his guys right in the face to show them no one treated her like dirt.

"Isn't it a little degrading to be just the bodyguard? I mean, remember, you were the Queen of Gotham's underworld when Jerome put you in the spotlight. And look at you now. You're a little criminal with more haters than lovers, you have no one except yourself and Oswald, you have nothing, no weapons, no home-..."

"I don't necessarily need anything like that to kill somebody." Scarlet chuckled, shaking her head "If I have the urge to kill anybody then I can kill them with everything that's around me, whether it's with my bare hands, a pen or else." She gave him a mischievous grin "But now, I'm not here to kill anybody. Right now, I just need to watch the sane little Ossy."

"I have a certificate." To prove Butch Oswald wasn't lying or playing with him, he wanted to pack out the certificate of his little jacket pocket - he shouldn't have done that though. The men around him thought he would pull out a weapon so they all pointed their guns at him fast to scare him away as to show him he shouldn't mess with them. They would kill him without hesitating.

"Woah!" Butch as Scarlet suddenly yelled out loud, they didn't really see that coming - Butch though, immediately took the chance to point a gun at Oswald as well. He wanted to show him who's the boss now. Oswald though still behaved like the innocent lamb next door - like he just wanted to show him his certificate. Nothing else. And he did. With a slight chuckle in embarrassment and confusion, he held that letter up in the air that approved he was a sane guy.

"But I hope I'm not intruding. I just got back in town, and I thought it'd be rude not to say hello to an old friend" Oswald explained politely but this just made Butch laugh. Was he really serious? That was his intention? To visit an old friend?

"An old friend?"

"Well, yes. I mean we had our ups and downs but on the whole, I thought we were friends." Oswald didn't quite understand what was so funny about it. He couldn't remember everything but what he did was remembering the fun moments they had together, when they laughed, talked, and drank. So why should Butch question it? "That's what I recall, anyhow."

Butch and Tabitha were confused now. Was Oswald really serious about all that? Didn't he know what he has done all the time they've spent together? Did he forgot about the arguments? The chopped hand? Did he forget about everything? That couldn't be real! That couldn't be played, Oswald wasn't a well actor actually. What have they done to him in Arkham? Any experiments or what?

"You killed my brother! You messed with his mind and made him your slave!" Tabitha started slightly lying. She wanted him to think that way. She wanted to make him clear what an actual bad person he was and that he was stuck in a pot full of problems.

"The fuck are you talking ab-..." Scarlet knew that she was lying, as she knew what Tabitha was about to do with Oswald. But before she could break free from the guy who still held her tightly, Butch's men around her again pulled out their guns and held them against her head. She had no chance to make a move now, otherwise she'd probably be dead "Hey, calm down. Calm down, I'll shut my mouth."

"Hello?" Butch snipped with his fingers in front of Oswald's face when he noticed he zoned out and didn't respond to Tabitha.

"I guess, I was pretty terrible, huh? I want to apologize sincerely. I wasn't thinking straight." Oswald hoped to be forgiven. He didn't want cause any more stress than he has already done in his past life, as he hoped for an accepted apology. He wanted to be good with them again. He wanted to see them as his friends again.

"Apology accepted." Tabitha directly said "Let's kill him."

"Wait what?" Oswald hoped he didn't understand it quite right. They wanted to kill him? "Uh, Butch, listen. I've changed. You have no reason to fear me. I'm a good person now." He tried to make them all clear. He tried to make them clear that there was no reason to kill him anymore. He wasn't the same Oswald as before. He was better now.

"I was thinking about visiting your mother's grave." Tabitha walked up to him slowly, not stopping to look at him.

"Oh?" Oswald smiled. He thought it was a nice gesture of her since his mother had passed away sadly. He didn't really remember the death of his mother, he didn't remember that it was actually Tabitha who killed his mother.

"Mhm," Tabitha said "Miss the old bird. Her sobs would often lull me to sleep at night." This confused Oswald a little, how did she mean that? But then Tabitha went further, she even started to imitate his mother when she was kidnapped by them "Oswald! Oswald! Save me!"

"That does sound like her," Oswald laughed, he didn't get it, that Tabitha was serious about all that. He thought she was just making a bad joke.

"You know, I think he's for real. Those looney bin doctors must have done a real number on him." Tabitha admitted. The old Oswald would have never reacted like that, he'd either be sad, angry, or would try to take revenge on them for killing his mother. He'd never laugh about that, he'd rather cry or break down.

"It's actually kind of sad." Butch said, he realized killing him wouldn't make sense at all. He was an innocent person now, he knew nothing anymore and surely, he wouldn't do a thing to anybody anymore "Let him go."

"What?!" Tabitha couldn't believe what she has heard. He couldn't be serious, could he? After all what Oswald has done? He still lets him go? What was wrong with him? How could he do that? They've planned on killing Oswald! They've planned to take revenge on him!

"You heard me." Butch said "Look at him, he's a pathetic loser. He doesn't pose a threat to anyone.” He was right with that. Oswald indeed wouldn’t pose a threat to anyone. All his violent impulses disappeared, he was just like a little deer: helpless, harmless, and shy. If he had one wish he’d try to be on good terms with everyone.

“Are you serious?” Tabitha asked again to be reassured Butch wasn’t joking, but he was not. He was still serious about his decision “No way! He has to die!”

“Who’s the boss here?” Butch simply asked her. He had no time to discuss all that in front of Oswald “I believe in an eye for an eye. We’ve all lost something, including him.” Then Butch turned to Oswald and stepped forward “We’re square, you and me. Understand?”

“Completely.” Oswald smiled, he was happy about his decision.

“Fine. You know, I didn’t realize you were so sentimental. He’s not leaving without some kind of punishment. He’s not, and neither is Scarlet.”

“Hey! I can’t do anything about when your brother’s being an asshole!” Scarlet snapped “I’m sorry for not letting you know earlier.” She hated Tabitha more than anything. She was just a little bitch in her eyes. She always thought she was the boss but she was not - she never was. She was just the executor.

“Be careful what you say, Patel!” Tabitha practically ran to her and seized her by a collar “One snip with my finger and you’ll get shot in the head.”

“You shouldn’t have such a big mouth, Tabby,” Scarlet smirked “The tide is turning very soon. Soon you’ll be the one standing here all alone with no one by your side. No Butch, no Theo… and then I’ll stand in front of you, pointing a gun at your head while I tell you ‘You see Tabitha? I’ve always told you not to have a big mouth’ and shot you in the head!”

“You’re just a crazy little bitch!” Tabitha spatted “I can’t wait to see you dead!”

“The pleasure is all mine, dear” Scar,eye chuckled, she wasn’t scared of Tabitha at all. She just wanted her to continue because this just increased the need and wish to kill her in one of the worst ways she has ever killed - maybe way worse than she killed her parents and way worse than she killed Adrian. But not because Tabitha betrayed her or hurt her, it was just for fun. She wanted to make a scene.

“Enough of that,” Butch claimed, walking towards the two “I know you both have your difficulties but this is not the right time to argue as it’s not the right place. You both need to calm down. Now.” Tabitha and Scarlet remained quiet now, they just glared at each other with the most hateful look they could do “But maybe there’s something, that’s still please you Tabitha.”

“What is it?” She asked confused, Scarlet looked confused either. How could you please a bloodthirsty woman without letting her kill someone? Torture? That wouldn’t please her enough - Scarlet knew best.

“You’ll see”

[zel-shadedreviews]

Well, I’m back reviewing all the DreamWorks movies after four years. Back in May of 2020, I reviewed the DreamWorks movies, only stopping after the latest during the time, Trolls: World Tour. Now, with The Wild Robot approaching a release, I am going to review every single movie made by the studio. I may do the shorts, but they’ll get a really small review, like perhaps a paragraph or two, where it depends how much I can salvage from them.

DreamWorks is known to be an interesting studio; there’s some amazing masterpieces, underrated gems and some not-so-good ones. They jump from stupendous masterpieces, disappointing wastes, major bombs and some that are worth a watch but went severely underneath the radar. Well, I’m here to review them as I love doing so.

While I’m featuring the logo, I might as well share my thoughts for their updated introduction, which made its debut before Puss in Boots: the Last Wish.

The DreamWorks logos would feature a young man fishing from a crescent moon, while their theme played in the background. It would start with the lure indicator hitting the ocean, making ripples, before we see the fisherman being the boy in the moon, adding a whimsical and majestic presence to the overall logo.

In some movies, the boy would intervene with the plot, such as using a worm that Lenny from Shark Tale rescued. In fact, there’s quite a few times that the boy faced different perils such as the Penguins of Madagascar beating him up, Barry the bee stinging him without any consequences or a UFO outright kidnapping him.

These were in the same line as the Pixar lamp blowing out its lightbulb, causing WALL-E in his teaser trailer to replace the old one. I liked how the main character in the logo would interact with those from their movies’.

Now that we have a new logo with a longer animated introduction in order to reflect on how the Puss sequel achieved a newer style.

What occurs was a montage featuring various recognisable characters from the different movies by the studio, while the boy surfs across in his lunar board. We see characters such as the Bad Guys racing past, Toothless swooping across, Po giving a bow, the Boss Baby, Poppy the troll; however, what made a surprising cameo by the end were Shrek, Fiona and Donkey, making their first appearance ever since their last movie in 2010 and the short, Thriller Night, in 2011.

In fact, both Marty and Alex from Madagascar made an appearance, alongside Eep from the Croods and even Puss in Boots in the logo before the third Trolls movie.

This was a neat way to show these characters, even though I don’t fully love the whole direction and some of its features. For one, I loved how the boy is recognised as a friend towards the Bad Guys and the Shrek characters, while recognisable mains like Po does a respectful bow. I liked the choice of having the Bad Guys showing up at the beginning and I’m not really against Poppy showing up since the Trolls franchise is considered to be one of DreamWorks’ selling points.

What I am against, however, was the Boss Baby, feeling like that embarrassment of a family member at a dinner party, where they’re pretty much the odd one out. Seeing him from such a mediocre and confusingly-bizarre movie felt like the wrong choice, as there’s other characters that could have replaced him. When looking back at the list, there’s been quite a few forgettable characters such as the Croods, Mr. Peabody and Sherman and even Oh from Home, but I would have gone with the Penguins. There’s also Megamind, but the less I mention his treatment, the better.

However, having him right besides Po personally felt off towards me.

I also wasn’t that bothered by how characters from the two-dimensional movies aren’t acknowledged as it’s clear as crystals that the studio themselves want to avoid their “bombs”.

A little pet peeve I had was the design on Shrek; now, while his original design from the franchise does hold up, you can tell that they added rough textures across his skin in order to show his background. While it was a surprise to see him, I wasn’t that big of a fan of his updated look as his textures went from rough to a rather shiner and smoother appearance, which went against the point of his overall look.

I can see how this is going DreamWorks’ way to begin their movies, though I’ll miss the ways how the boy would meet them individually in comedic manners. However, I feel that it’s the right step for the studio and I hope to see more characters pop up in their upcoming sequels.

Final Rating: B

8/10

[violetnerves]

The Rise and Fall of Jenny Hopkins, aged 15, Chapter 1, Part 2:

Part 2 of Chapter 1, story under the divider.

Word Count: 6403

Possible content warning for Physical abuse, ableist language towards Russell (Mostly by Gary.) and homophobia (It's directed towards Pete by Gary, this shouldn't be surprising.)

I was met by my own gaze, reflected by the bathroom mirror. My nose was even redder than usual, swollen not only by the punch from Russell, but also by the tissue paper I had shoved up my nostrils.

I ran my hand over the back of my skull and felt my hair, which barely grew past my chin. It was cut unevenly, an impulsive idea done out of frustration from my fellow classmates of past schools yanking at my hair... as well as partly influenced by my last step-dad. The creep used to just feel at my hair, as if he'd had any right to just touch me in that way.

Mom was *pissed* the second she'd seen what i'd done to my hair, screaming and yelling at me about why I wanted to make myself look ugly; As much as I tried to explain, she just wouldn't hear it any of it, and it turned into us having a screaming match in the hallway. Eventually, mom just started throwing whatever she could get her hands on at me.

I ended up locking herself in my room afterward, not wanting to escalate things more than they already were. Well, that was partly the reason. The other major reason was so I could avoid hitting her out of frustration. I could still recall how I'd clawed at my own arm for even entertaining the thought of physically harming my mom.

I cringed at the memory and made my way out of the bathroom.

It was remembering things like that where I really began to notice how easily I considered violence as a solution to my problems. Other girls didn't act like that, so... What the hell was wrong with me?

The old woman I'd nearly ran into on my way in was right outside the entrance to the girl's bathroom, scowling and making the excessive wrinkles on her face all the more apparent.

What was her name again? Oh, right. Mrs. Peabody.

Her appearance was like night and day compared to Dr. Lamb. Her clearly dyed brown hair was pinned up in a too-neat bun, lacking bangs, which made her oddly high hairline prominent. Wrinkles decorated and hung on her face like uncooked dough, and I could make out some dark facial hair growing on top of her upper lip. I felt like I could touch her, and her brittle body would crumble like a poorly built sculpture.

The old bag hadn't been happy about the attitude I'd given her when i'd shoved myself through the door, slouching over it like some decrepid gatekeeper. She had shown *some* concern over my gushing nostrils, though I had a feeling most of it was because of my blood dripping onto the disgustingly clean carpet.

"Are you sure you don't want the nurse to have a look at your nose? Just to make sure that whatever awful *boy* did that to you didn't break anything?"

"Yes ma'am, I'm sure," I responded, struggling to resist the urge to be sarcastic at her. My mood wasn't exactly the highest right now, and the last thing I needed was for someone to dote over me with fake sympathy. Besides, I was pretty familiar with what a broken nose felt like, and I know I definitely didn't have one. "I just want to go to my room to unpack. Which one's supposed to be mine?"

Mrs. Peabody let out a harumph, followed by her digging into a pocket on her skirt and pulling out a key with a piece of paper stuck on it. *2-D* was written on the paper in permanent marker.

"Room 2-D, as it says on the key. That's on the second floor near the end of the hall. Your name will be written on the placard next to the door, just in case you have trouble with simple directions. Keep in mind that you also have a roommate. A bit of a warning, the girl is a bit... unwell..."

I didn't respond. Instead, I took the key and wandered up to the second floor. It wasn't long until I found the room, entering it and finally feeling a sense of security that I hadn't felt since I'd first left my step-father's house.

Then my eyes met the walls, and I was stuck looking at the... decor...

There was a clear divide of the free space and the part of the room my roommate clearly had made her own..

My roommate's space was messy, the wall near her desk and bed plastered with posters and drawings. It was either official, professional art that was from the actual show mixed with unofficial art drawn by somebody else, all of which were printed out and taped on the wall, along with several other amateur spiral notebook drawings that had a pretty heavy anime influence.

There were even more of the drawings on the desk, most of which were incomplete. Along with the drawings was a variety of merchandise, most of which were plushies of anime characters.

I didn't recognize most of them, aside from this magical girl one from when I used to watch poorly dubbed anime on shitty motel tvs back in the day when mom and I didn't have a permanent address, either couch-hopping at wherever her new boyfriend of the month lived or staying at the aforementioned hotels.

I couldn't really recall the name... I think it was Captain Uranus or something? I dunno, I wasn't much of a fan of weird, foreign media like that.

There was a laptop bag that sat on her bed, and next to that was an end table that had some framed photos on it.

Then my eyes met a photo on the end table next to the bed, and I grimaced.

It showed that girl from earlier, the one who'd been recording the fight, alongside Trent and that kid with the black eye - sans the black eye - at what looked like a carnival or amusement park. Great, so I was roommates with her?

I stepped out of the room for a moment to look back at the placard next to the door, eyes shifting to the first name on it, which was above mine.

*Trisha N.*

*'Gonna have to remember that.'*

I re-entered the room, and my gaze was drawn to the other side of the room. A perfectly made bed stood nearly untouched, plain grey bedding with some odd looking blue flower pattern that didn't really fit with the color scheme of the room and the building. There was also my luggage, which had been dropped off before I'd gotten here.

Beside it was a large dresser, which I walked over to and opened up.

Several pairs of button-ups, ties, skirts, as well as underwear, socks, and shoes were inside, enough to last about a month before they required washing. Though the wardrobe itself was mostly empty, which meant that there was at least enough space for clothes that I'd actually *like* wearing.

The button-up shirts had the Bullworth emblem sewn into them as a patch, and the skirts were a dull shade of blue in a plaid pattern, which had straps that were probably supposed to be slipped onto my shoulders like suspenders... I doubt I'd actually bother to wear them like that, though. I didn't want to look like some dork.

Now that I had my mind on the extra space in the wardrobe, I did have some things I could put into it. I went ahead and tossed some of the clothes I'd brought along in my luggage into the cupboard. I wasn't exactly neat and tidy about it, just putting the clothes away in whatever pile they belonged to.

As I went to grab for my purse, I realized something.

*'Wait a minute, where the hell is-'*

Then I remembered it.

The sound of my purse hitting the concrete. Me turning my back on it to punch Wade in the face. Then when I left it behind because I'd been too annoyed and pissed off to remember my damn purse.

*The Boy's Dorm.*

*"SHIT!"* I hissed quietly, darting out of my room, down the stairs, and eventually out of the building entirely. I could hear Mrs. Peabody yelling back at me, but in the rush, I didn't really care what she had to say.

It wasn't long until I reached the spot where I remembered leaving the bag. Much to my relief, there wasn't anyone around...

... But I didn't see my purse anywhere...

I found myself staring at the entrance to the Boy's Dorm, silently wondering if I should bust the door down and tear the building apart to get it, despite the risks.

A growl bubbled out of my throat, and I turned away, retreating back to the Girl's Dorm before anyone else could pester me.

***

My right hand tugged down on the skirt of my school uniform, holding onto the tray of food with my left and *very* shaky hand. I wasn't a fan of skirts or really any kind of dress. I always felt exposed while wearing them, vulnerable in a way that I just couldn't stand. Plenty of times, at schools where uniforms were required, there would always be guys who'd try and "peek" at girl's under the guise of retrieving a dropped pencil, eraser, or whatever else was easy to "accidentally" swat off of a desk. Whenever they would do it to me, It tended to end poorly for them, and sometimes, me as well if the teacher hated me enough.

I sighed and smoothed down my skirt, making my way out of the lunch line. It seemed as though all of the tables were filled up, every student sitting with their friend/clique group as if they were personally assigned there.

The bullies were all bunched together at one table to the left of the room, and every single one of them - except Russell and Trisha - were beat up looking from earlier. Trent and Wade had an ice pack pressed against their heads, and Troy had thick gauze on his nose. The kid with the Brooklyn accent who'd threatened to give me two black eyes had two of his own. Each of them had bandages and patches of various sizes on and some noticeable bruises on their bodies. Wade caught sight of me and immediately gave me a rather vengeful stink eye.

Seeing the guy still miffed about what happened earlier might've made me feel a bit better... But then I remembered my missing purse, and my mood shot back down considerably. I was certain one of the bullies must've grabbed it, and if not, then it was one of the other boys, or even Trisha, since she'd been the only one there mostly conscious.

I didn't even consider the possibility that Dr. Lamb picked it up. One, because there wasn't an announcement about a missing purse, and two, because I never got *that* lucky.

Most of my money, my ID, my Mp3 player, as well as other embarrassing things, were in that bag. Getting it back was the first thing I was gonna focus on doing after lunch was over.

At first glance, it looked as though I was going to have to find somewhere outside of the cafeteria to eat lunch. No one around looked inviting, and when I got near any of the occupied tables, I was met with the sense that I didn't belong there.

Well, until it hit me. Literally.

Something spongy and soft nailed me on the cheek, landing on my tray. I looked down to find an extra bread roll embedded into my chunky mashed potatoes.

With an annoyed look, I turned my head to find the culprit responsible.

At the far right side of the cafeteria, two boys, one fair-skinned and one who looked mixed race, sat together at a basically deserted lunch table. Both had hair that was some shade of brown, but despite the one trait they shared, the two couldn't have been more different from one another.

The darker skinned boy sat to the left, appearing meek, radiating an air that screamed, *"I have no self confidence, please victimize me!"* he glanced at me for only a second before suddenly looking away. That meekness was exasperated by his button-up dress shirt, which was an oddly faint shade of pink that couldn't have been colored like that intentionally, as if it'd been originally a white shirt until some absent-minded idiot or a real jerk threw a red sock in the wash with it. His hair was cropped close to his scalp, but from the texture, I figured it'd be fairly curly if left to grow out.

To the right was the fairer-skinned boy with a shitty looking undercut that reminded me of a certain infamous dictator. Judging by his stare, he'd clearly been the one who'd thrown the bread roll. His dark, reddish brown eyes bore into mine as if he was trying to intimidate, asserting a sense of dominance over me. His hands were clasped together under his chin, and above it was the kind of smile that gave me the sense that he had complete and utter confidence in whatever he was thinking about saying or doing next. In a way, he seemed out of place, even wearing a teal sweater vest when I knew just from looking around that the standard vest color was supposed to be either some shade of green or blue, rather than a mix of both.

I began to walk toward the table, glaring daggers at the smug boy wearing the teal sweater vest.

"What's your issue? Do you wanna start something? Because i'm already in a crappy mood, and the last thing I need is another idiot trying to make me do something really stupid..."

"Well, aren't you a real peach, new girl? I suggest toning down the attitude a little or else they'll put you on medication - *boy*, nearly drove me insane..." He leaned his head against his balled up right hand, rapping the fingers of his left against the wooden table. That smug, all-knowing smirk of his seemed to be permanently stuck on his face. "I saw that little scuffle you had with that overgrown sped Russell."

I let out an unimpressed huff.

"Yeah? The guy decked me in the face... What of it?" I wasn't sure if he was going to rib me or something. I was on high alert at this point, given what happened earlier. "And, yeah, I'm new. Do you need something from me?" I set my tray down on the table and sat down in front of the confident boy.

Upon getting closer, I noticed a scar on the left side of the odd stranger's face that cut through his eyebrow, crossing his eye and ending just above his cheekbone. How did he get that scar?

Weird smug kid just got weirder.

"Yep, welcome to the worst school in the country, friend. The name's Gary Smith. Now, I'll be blunt, I actually want to do *you* a favor", he pointed a finger at me as if he was emphasizing his point.

I raised my brow, this time already smelling something rotten about whatever this guy might've had in mind.

"In this wretched hive of an institution, you're gonna need a friend, so, how about it?"

I frowned, sparing a glance to the meek boy beside him. He hadn't bothered to say anything at all, just occasionally picking at his food and sparing a glance at both Gary and me.

"Alright... what's your deal?" I said.

As far as I was concerned, all I wanted was to keep my head down - maybe pull a few pranks occasionally, but nothing that would get me in serious trouble - and eventually get out. I'd already been expelled 7 times. The only school left would probably be even worse than Bullworth, if that was even possible. Getting some friends around to help me out was probably a good idea.

"My deal? Aw c'mon Jenny, I'm just trying to make you, *'the new kid'*" Gary put a weird emphasis on those last three words. "Feel welcome. There is *'no deal'*, just common courtesy!" Gary grinned widely, exposing the top set of his teeth as well as the visible tooth gap he had. "I'm Head Boy, y'know? It's pretty much part of my job description."

"So you're just doing it because it's something you're obligated to do?" I scoffed, taking a moment to open up my milk carton. I decided against drinking out of it. However, when that unfortunately familiar sour milk smell hit me when the seal was broke. How long has this milk been sitting around? Did people really *pay* for their kids to go here? When even the *milk* was spoiled? "I feel welcome already."

Gary was visibly fazed by my dismissive attitude.

He grimaced, suddenly slamming his palm on the table and pointing at me with an accusatory finger. I wasn't bothered by the slam, though the meek boy beside him jumped and inched back in his seat a little. The rest of the lunch room hadn't noticed. The room itself was loud enough with other students talking and fooling around already. The three of us might as well have not been in there at all.

"Alright, listen here... *Jane*," Gary put an odd emphasis on my real name. "I'm trying to be nice here... Surely you could return the favor at least and not act like a. Fucking. Cunt!" Despite yelling, his tone didn't match his outward appearance. It was obvious he was angry, but it was subdued. Like he was trying really hard not to explode at me.

My mouth twisted into a snarl, and I felt myself start to *shake* with fury. I stood up, palms flat on the table. I would've grabbed for my tray, but I figured if I did, I'd end up swinging it at him. It's not like the food on it looked edible anyway, but since I'd already gotten into a fight today, I didn't think it was a good idea to start another one.

Even if the last one wasn't even my fault, but when has that ever mattered to school staff? A fight was a fight, I was surprised I hadn't already been called to the office about it.

"Listen here asshole! You don't get to call me that! Not you or any other one of the assholes in this shitty place!" I yelled at him, not even considering how I could've been heard by someone. I didn't care, I knew this guy had never had anyone call out his bullshit in his entire life. Lucky for me, *I* had to be the one to do it.

My fists balled up from their place on the table, and it was taking up all my willpower just to not sock Gary in the jaw. I huffed, standing up and looking down for a bit before even looking at Gary again.

He still looked somewhat pissed, though in an oddly calm way. It was certainly a hell of a lot less than the way I was feeling at least.

"I knew I was wasting my time here. Eat shit Gary, I'm eating outside."

I let my rage simmer down a bit before grabbing my tray and leaving. Gary just stared at me, looking as pissed as I felt. Good. Let him seethe.

I didn't even spare a glance at the other boy, because why bother?

With a turn, I left in the direction of the entrance to the lunchroom. As I neared the large archway, I heard somebody shout out, "W-wait!"

I ignored it.

***

I sat outside on one of the stone benches, picking at the oddly pale looking Salisbury steak coated in a congealed, rotten looking gravy. I'd taken a bite out of the bread roll not coated in potatoes and eaten a few chunks of fruit that didn't entirely look spoiled. But beyond those two things, everything else on the tray looked inedible.

*'The second that school gate opens, i'm never eating in the cafeteria again. I can't believe people actually **pay** for their kids to go here.'*

I set the tray to my left and looked up at the sky. It was dim, the sun's light blocked out by the grey tinted clouds rolling in. It'd probably start raining soon.

At least the sky matched my mood.

The sound of double doors opening and footsteps scrambling down the steps of the school caught my ear. I grabbed one of the napkins and wiped away whatever food residue might've still been on my face.

The boy wearing the pink button-up shirt, the one who'd been sitting with Gary, rounded the corner shyly. He almost looked reluctant to even talk to me.

"Hey there... Uh, how's it going?" He raised a hand, waving it and reaching out in my direction for a handshake. "I'm Pete, Pete Kowalski. I-I was sitting next to Gary... but you probably didn't notice me. People tend not to.... So... Your name's Jenny, right? Or is it Jane? Gary called you by both... so..."

I glanced at the boy's hand unamused.

"Jenny Hopkins, and don't ask me how I'm doing. I've only been here for 2 hours and people already want me dead," I picked at the tissue paper I'd stuffed up my nostrils. A smile spread on my face when I realized my nose wasn't gushing anymore, and I tossed the blood covered tissue paper on my tray. "Your friend Gary is a dick by the way."

Pete gave a really, *really*, awkward smile.

"Yeah. This school *is* the worst, but Gary... he's a bit bad at socializing. I wouldn't take a lot of his insults too personally... He's kind of been like that for as long as i've known him... A pretty long time, actually."

I gave a grunt in response.

"Sure, whatever... Man, if I'd known I was gonna end up here, I probably would've avoided getting expelled so much. I've been thrown out of everywhere halfway decent."

"'Yeah! I've been expelled out of everywhere halfway decent because I'm such a bad, naughty girl!' How about you give up the tough girl act, pal? You're about as threatening as a *Teacup Chihuahua*, you've even got the stature to match." My mood was taken out back and shot the second I'd heard Gary's familiar voice coming from above me and Pete.

Gary leaned over the railing above, pressing his balled fists against his face like a bored teenage girl. He tilted his head, I could only assume in an attempt to look even more punchable.

"What's your problem?" I asked, my voice barely hiding my contempt. I was still annoyed by Gary's presence because of what he'd called me in the lunchroom. I mean, seriously? Calling me a cunt just for being a little bit of a smartass?

Gary shrugged.

"Well, A.D.D. primarily...." He began making his way down the steps, continuing to talk along the way. "...Also life, my parents, this school, western civilization..." Gary stood next to Pete, and I noticed a visible change in the other boy. The second Gary neared him, Pete visibly shyed away when the other boy slapped a hand around his shoulder, pulling him even closer. "But really? Honestly? Enough about me, I see you've met the Boy's Dorm mascot. My dear, brutish Jane, allow me to introduce you to 'Femme-Boy', the girliest boy in school!" his other hand hit Pete's chest, presumably just to really dig the insult in.

The smaller boy slipped out of the taller boy's hold, looking a bit peeved but clearly lacking the self-confidence to retaliate properly.

"Why don't you leave me alone, Gary?"

So much for not taking Gary's insults too personally.

Gary chuckled, unfazed by Pete's demand. "Look at you, Petey! 'Leave me alone, Gary! I'm really self-important now that i've finally hit puberty!' What's your problem?.." he tilted his head in faux curiosity. "Are you trying to impress Jenny? Is that it? Do you wanna get into her panties? Hm, no that can't be since you're clearly a fairy. Then again... I guess Jane does look like a dude... A bit desperate are we?"

"Gary, it's not like that, and you know it!"

"Whatever you say, Pete... But sometimes I have to wonder..."

"Will you shut up, Gary? God, you're a bore," I chipped in, completely fed up with the events of the day. Lunch wasn't even over yet, and I was more annoyed with this school than the rest I'd been forced into attending.

First those bullies, then that behemoth, and now this... nutcase who *seriously needed to shut up.*

Gary turned his head to me with a look of... surprise?.. on his face. Barely a second passed before I saw it twist into an agitated sneer.

"Boring?.. I'm boring?.." his mouth slacked, seemingly having a hard time comprehending what had just been said to him. "You know... you're none too interesting yourself... *'friend'*." Gary got up close to my face, his dark reddish-brown eyes staring daggers into my light brown ones. I stood up fast and glared back, unwilling to be intimidated by yet another self-important dude with an ego as fragile as lined notebook paper. My hand brushed the side of my food tray, and for a second, just one second, I contemplated hitting Gary over the head with it like I'd wanted to earlier, consequences be damned.

"Jenny... Gary... C'mon, she didn't mean it." I heard Pete say, obviously trying to deescalate things. But to me and Gary, he might as well not have been there at all. Guess the guy hadn't been kidding about being forgettable.

But... rather than things getting out of hand, Gary pursed his lips, backing out of my personal space. The tension between us dissipated like a fine mist.

He closed his eyes, took a breath, and raised his hands in an 'ease-up' gesture.

"Ok... Look... I'm sorry, to both of you, but especially you, Jenny. Calling you a cunt was out of line, and honestly? I should've known better. Cursing is something for the weak-minded. I just... get a little over-excited sometimes! Petey can back me up on this, right?" he gestured to the other boy, who gave weak nod in response. "See?"

I shut my eyes, then slowly opened them back up. I let out a huff.

"It's cool, Gary... Forget it. I can't be bothered to argue anymore, I just... I want this day to be over and done with."

Gary grinned, though unlike the smug smirks he'd been giving me, this time his expression seemed... genuine? To me, it didn't seem like it had any sense of dishonesty behind it. But what did I know? I've certainly never personally dealt with a dishonest person before...

Aside from probably every friend I've had. Not to mention my mother, who could probably win a world record in making false promises, if something like that even existed.

"Well, Jenny... you'll have to get used to it i'm afraid. What you've gone through is the typical Bullworth school day. You're just counting the seconds till it's over, all the while the Bullies, Preps, Greasers, Jocks, and even the Nerds run around like escaped zoo animals terrorizing the locals," Gary monologued as he took a seat to my right on the bench. "You either join in or get eaten. 'Canis Canem Edit', or Dog Eat Dog, is the school motto for a reason."

That last bit certainly explained some things. "Dog Eat Dog", yeesh, with a motto like that is it any wonder this place is as crazy as it is?

Gary, to the "surprise" of the few who were listening, continued talking.

"But that's why I asked to be your friend earlier. This place is ruthless. You're already aware that they're not going to take it easy on you just because you're a girl, even with that old hag Mrs. Peabody watching over the girls like a blind, dementia ridden mama bear. Trust me, life will be a lot easier around here for you with someone like *me* hanging around and giving you a bit of advice every now and then," he held out his hand. It was closer to him than to me, requiring me to have to reach my hand out closer to him to take it. "So how about it Jenny? Last chance to take my offer, I feel like i've been generous enough for the day."

I thought about it for a bit. I already got the sense that Gary was a bit - no, definitely an egotistical jerk. But his apology from earlier did seem genuine, even if he did try to doll out excuses for his actions at the same time. Hell, I wasn't exactly the most pleasant person to hang out with either.

But he was the first person, Pete being second, to actually try and strike up a friendship with me in this crazy place. It was clearly for practical reasons, yes... but there was always the chance that the arrangement could turn into something genuine. Maybe if Gary had someone who could tell him off every now and then - obviously Petey couldn't do that, I could tell just from being near the guy - I could have something of a good time here.

Ok, that might be a bit *too* optimistic. It was probably best to lower my expectations a little. Or maybe a lot.

Aside from all that, what's the worst that could happen?

"Ya know what? Sure, Gary, let's be friends." I took his hand in my own and shook it. His hand felt unusually heavy, and his grip on my hand was tight. I eventually wrangled my hand from his grip, and afterward, he still kept that smile on his face, as if what had just occurred wasn't strange at all.

As I silently hoped something would happen to prompt Gary to move away without me having to get aggressive, the bell rang.

"Well, it looks like lunch is over. You know, i'm glad we got everything sorted out, It would've been just *awful* if we'd stayed on bad terms," Gary said, leaning against the brick stonework of the school's stairs.

"Yeah, I guess so."

It seemed as though Pete had just slipped away as soon as the bell rang. Made sense, he probably didn't want to stick around with both Gary and I around.

I stood up to grab my tray and leave, but the bushy browed boy spoke up again.

"Hey, Jane?" I felt that sense of relief after hearing the bell disapate the second Gary produced a single syllable.

"Yeah, Gary?" I replied in a rather offhandish way. I'd hoped that would make it clear to him that I wanted to leave. Maybe I was a bit too subtle about it.

"I'll be waiting for you outside the lunch room. I've got a surprise for you." Gary said. The way he worded it sounded like a demand rather than a request, which irritated me a bit, but I decided to shrug in response. "Good! See you later!"

Gary turned and left for the school building as a few students were already making their way out.

Once my garbage had been thrown away, I joined up with Gary outside of the lunch room.

Gary was still leaning against the wall of the stairwell, bouncing his knee impatiently with his arms folded.

"About time, I was about to leave and let you fend for yourself amongst the beasts. But I decided to be patient and wait a little longer," Gary grinned. "Aren't I so charitable?"

*'Good lord, impatient much?'*

"About as charitable as the average Billionaire," I shrugged and folded my arms. "So, where are we going first? Got any pamphlets that i'll toss into the first trash can I see?"

"Please, this place isn't *that* fancy Jenny," he began walking with me following not too far behind, pointing to his left. "First of all, we're going to my locker, like I said, I've got something you should see."

I raised a brow, my lower lip turning up inquisitively.

"Your locker? Why would I need to see what's in there?"

"Because it's a surprise! Who doesn't like surprises? Now c'mon,"

I rolled my eyes at his vagueness, but I still followed Gary to the left side of the building.

My eye line was to the ground, staring disinterested at my own shoes as I followed Gary.

"Hold up," Gary announced, holding his arm out to stop me. I wasn't paying attention, so I ended up bumping into him. Annoyed, I looked up.

My annoyance turned up tenfold by the familiar brute who was currently digging through his locker for...

...Well, a book, not even one of those kids picture books either. It looked like an actual chapter book. Huh. I hadn't thought of Russell as the kind of kid to read stuff like that.

"There's Russell, you know, the big ape that busted your nose."

"Yeah, I'm already familiar with him. What's the de-EEAAL?!"

I found myself being pushed forward, and I stumbled, barely managing to balance on my feet as I realized I was now right next to Russell. The commotion caused the big ape to turn, and now my small self was looking up at the brute.

"Hey, it's you?" Russell said, though the way he phrased sounded more to me like a question rather than an observation.

"Uh, yeah?" I stupidly replied, answering the huge bastard's weird observation/question.

From his expression and tone, I could tell that Russell's barely functioning brain was currently chugging away to figure out his next move. He grinned, seemingly managing to produce a *thought*.

"YOUR CASH! ALL OF IT!" Russell screamed. I unconsciously backed away a step, my ears aching from how *loudly* and *closely* he was yelling at me.

I frowned, grumbling a few insults under my breath.

"Ok! Ok, fine. I do have something to give you."

Sure, my purse was still missing, but that didn't mean I was stupid enough to not keep extra pocket change somewhere for emergencies.

And, well... getting harassed by a giant Special Ed kid/possibly mentally stunted adult man *technically* counted as an emergency, in my honest opinion.

I took off my right shoe and shook it above my open palm. Five bucks in balled up one dollar bills landed with a soft tap my hand.

"Here, it's all I have," I said, dropping my shoe and shoving it back on my foot.

In reality, I did have an extra 5 dollars in my left shoe, but I doubted Russell - or really anyone else, I was surprised I'd even come up with that trick myself - would think to ask me if my other shoe had any hidden bills.

"Haha, stupid, haha," Russell chuckled, taking the ball of crumpled bills from my open hand.

In response, I could only roll my eyes.

Well, Russell must've noticed that, because before I could react, my head was forcibly shoved into Russell's foul-smelling armpit. His meaty hand scraped rapidly against my skull and messed up my not exactly nice-looking hairdo.

"Kneel before Russell!"

"Ok, ok! Geeze, man! I Kneel, I kneel!

Eventually, the behemoth decided to show some shred of mercy and released me, laughing as he walked off with half of my cash. As soon as Russell was out of earshot, I let out an angry hiss as I tried to fix my hair.

"Thanks for the distraction, Jenny! Now I can get to my locker!"

I turned around to find Gary fiddling with the locker that was about two spaces away from Russell's.

"Wait, Gary, did you *push* me into Russell just so you wouldn't have to get harassed by him?"

"Yeah, it's annoying having my locker so close to his. I usually have to wait until one of the other unlucky bastards nearby catches his attention," his locker clicked, opening with a loud but short creak. "Now c'mon. Get over here, I have something to give you."

I snorted.

"Oh screw you, Gary, this better be important," I said, stomping over to the locker right next to Gary's.

"I'm just going to ignore that little jab of yours and give you this back."

Gary pulled something dark out of the depths of his locker, holding it up in front of me.

My eyes went from their usual, angry squint to wide open and surprised in mere seconds.

"My purse! You're the one that took it?" I practically ripped the bag out of Gary's grasp, earning an annoyed glare out of the older boy. "You jerk! Why didn't you tell me you had it earlier?" Gary got visibly giddy about my reaction to his thievery of my purse.

"Because it was a surprise, you dunce. A well worthwhile one, in my opinion. You should see the look on your face!" Gary said, giving a wheezy chuckle. I eyed the inside of the purse suspiciously, and he added in an: "And no, I didn't look at anything inside it. I'm not interested in your tampons."

"How did you know there were tampons in it if you didn't look then?" I retorted.

He eyed me in an unsurprised yet disappointed way. He then rolled his eyes in probably the most dramatic way I'd ever seen anyone do. Seriously? My statement wasn't stupid at all.

"...What woman *doesn't* keep her monthly plugs in her purse Jenny? Honestly..." He shut his locker, relaxing against it. "Now, are we going to continue the tour, or are you going to continue being difficult?"

I shook my head, sighing.

"As long as you don't use me as a distraction again, then... sure, lead the way."

Gary stood up straight again, walking away from the lockers and - annoyingly - draping his arm across the back of my opposite shoulder. He didn't exactly give me much of a chance to back out. His grip was fairly tight, I felt his perfectly cut nails dig into my skin through my shirt.

"Of course... You know, I think this'll all lead into a nice, long, and rewarding experience for the both of us..."

Gary wore an oddly sinister looking grin that spread across his face.

"Just you wait."

[321spongebolt]

Rio's appearance in "Rio 2"

Before the movie starts, the screen fades from black revealing Rio wearing RealD 3D glasses and holding a clapperboard in his wings. He introduces the audience to the theatrical short film, "Almost Home" (which was also shown before the previous 20th Century Fox/Blue Sky Studios/DreamWorks Animation movie, "Mr. Peabody and Sherman") and closes the clapperboard, with the screen fading to black on cue.

Rio: Hi everybody, Rio here. Keep your 3D glasses on, because before we start the movie, here's an exclusive theatrical short called "Almost Home". (Closes the clapboard and the screen fades to black)

"Almost Home" starts playing with the short variants of the 20th Century Fox logo, the Blue Sky Studios logo with Scrat holding onto the "B" in "Blue", and the short DreamWorks Animation logo. After "Almost Home" ends, the movie begins with a Samba version of the 20th Century Fox logo, the 2013 Blue Sky Studios logo introduced in "Epic" (with a logo joke where Rio lands on the "e" in "Blue" and sits until it breaks off), and the DreamWorks Animation logo, which transitions to the moon shown as a reflection from the Atlantic Ocean.

The opening of the movie starts with Rio singing the Will.I.am version of "I Like To Move it Move it" from the last "Rio" movie, this time, with Rio singing all of the opening verses. Pedro and Nico join the former king and sing with him, until the humans and birds (in separate locations) shout "Move it!". On cue, the music transitions to "I'm Blue (Da Ba Dee)", with the first part sung by Rio until his "To listen" echoes. After a brief moment of silence, Rio encourages his son to sing something as Jewel and the other birds stare at him.

Rio: Well don't stand there. Sing something.

The music continues after King Blu says "I'm Blu" and repeats "Da ba de da ba die", not knowing what else to say. Ultimately, Pedro approved what Blu was saying, and everyone else continued singing "I'm Blue (Da Ba De)" as King Blu and Queen Jewel take the dance floor, with Rio singing in the background. After the musical number is over, the song repeats instrumentally with King Blu and Queen Jewel still dancing until they notice Rafael dancing with his wife. He was supposed to babysit Carla, Bia, and Tiago. Luiz dances to the king and queen telling them that Tiny is watching them.

When Rio, King Blu, and Queen Jewel return to find Tiago lighting a match and saying "Here we go!" only for Rio to land and say "Whoa, whoa whoa! Hold up there, little squirt!" Rio turns to the camera and tells the audience that that he'll be with them in just a minute. And as King Blu and Rio remind the princesses and prince the royal oath, "Birds of blue feathers have to stick together", Rio starts to feel a burn and runs around screaming while he's on fire. He accidentally lights the fireworks and frees Tiny, only for Rio to be tied to the rocket Tiny was tied to, and Rio gets launched into the air. Rio falls and land on the arm of the statue, and Blu checks his dad to see if he's okay.

Rio: That... was... (Springs up joyously) AWESOME! Let's do it again!

King Blu: (Puts his wings on his dad's shoulders) Let's not.

Prince Tiago: Oh man! How come Grandpa gets to have all the fun?

Princess Carla: Look, it worked!

The Rio family see the fireworks in the sky and watch in awe.

King Blu: Well... this year's off to a great start.

Rio: It sure is, sonny boy! And cue logo!

The title appears and Rio pauses the movie, jumping up from the bottom of the screen welcoming everyone back and discussing a brief recap of the last movie's events.

Rio: Ha-ha! I love the number two! Love it! For those of you who don't know me, my name's Rio. Hence the name, "Rio 2". For those of you who saw the last movie, I passed down the crown to my son, Blu. And so far, he and Jewel are running a pretty sturdy kingdom. But enough about that. On with the movie!

(Rio jumps down and continues the movie)

After we see the first part of Linda and Tulio's journey to the Amazon, Rio narrates the house son, daughter-in-law, and grandchildren live. Jewel catches Rio doing another one of those "fourth wall breaks" or monologues (whatever you think sounds better) and asks where Blu is. Rio explains, "He's in the house. He's cooking my grandchildren some royal breakfast.". And that's exactly what happens in the next scene, as Blu cooks his son and daughters blueberry pancakes. After Blu kicks a blueberry on top of the whipped cream, Rio comes in while chanting.

Princess Carla and Princess Bia: Goal!

King Blu (While dancing): Oh yeah! I've got it. I'm good.

Rio (Chanting): B-L-U! Who's that spell? Blu that's you!

Princess Carla and Princess Bia: Grandpa!

Rio: (Laughs and enters the window) Morning, little munchkins Morning, sonny boy! (Sniffs the scent from the pancakes) And you managed to cook breakfast for yourself! (Sees the pancakes)

Rio (Dreamy): Ah! My favorite.

King Blu: Well, dig in, dad. Help yourself.

Rio: Oh, don't mind if I do. (Bows to his son) Your highness.

Tiago kicks some blueberries to Blu and Blu accidentally launches the pancake from the pan as it hits Tiago, with Rio remarking "Saved by the bird!", and Jewel comes in with a Brazil nut and Carla shows Rio, Blu, and Jewel Tulio and Linda on the news with their discovery of another blue spix macaw feather. After the discovery, Jewel feels remorseful and apologizes to Rio for how she treated him when he took her in. All in forgiven, as Rio still mentions his promise to find Jewel's family after she marries his son, which was what they agreed to. So after seeing there are more blue spix macaws, Rio feels like his end of the bargain has been fulfilled. Later, Rio goes back to the rainforest announcing that he'll be leaving Rio to see the Amazon, entrusting his wife to take charge.

As the Rio family prepare to leave, Rafael, Nico, and Pedro join them as they fly to the Amazon. And during their flight, we see how Nigel's doing during his exile by Rio. Nigel has been reduced to a bird who picks up fortune-telling cards. When he sees the Rio, we see a flashback from the first movie when Rio banished Nigel.

King Rio (Mad): Nigel, for assaulting the princess, and attempting to hurt my son, I sentence you to exile! Take it away. son!

After the scene where Nigel gets attacked by the propeller coming towards him, we see another flashback where three surgeons operate on him, announcing that he won't be able to fly again. Back in reality, Nigel angrily shouts "That blue monarch caused my misery!" and goes a rampage, resulting in the freedom of Gabi, whose glass jar breaks open. After the uncut music number, "Poisonous Love", Rio pauses the movie at the end of the song and rises up in disgust.

Rio: (Jumps up from the bottom of the screen) Ugh! That is disgusting! Although, I will give you kudos on that final note there. Ugh. Love's disgusting.

(Rio jumps back down and continues the movie)

On the boat, Nigel sees Rio sleep-singing "I Like To Move it Move it", and prevents Gabi from dropping her poison into Blu's beak.

Nigel: Stop!

Gabi: Oh.

Nigel: This one is mine.

(In his sleep, Rio thinks Nigel is Queen Rio and stands.)

Rio (Sleeping): Oh, but of course, honey. Let's dance.

Nigel: Wait. Not-not you! (Rio holds Nigel's wing while wrapping his other wing around Nigel's hip) Hey! Stop! Let-let go!

Rio waltzes with Nigel like they're a couple, with Nigel annoyed and having a hard time keeping balance due to Rio sleep-dancing and laughing while he's still asleep.

Nigel: Even when you're sleep-walking, you're annoying.

Rio (Sleeping): (Laughs) You're funny. Wanna go for a spin?

Nigel: N-no spinning! No spinning! (Rio twirls him around until Nigel stops him) Stop!

With Rio now sleeping standing up, Nigel orders him to leave, which is what Rio does.

Nigel: Leave.

Rio (Sleeping): Um, yeah. Sure, whatever you say, queen.

(Nigel gets a confused look on his face)

Though, I gotta tell ya, your voice sounds weird. Need a cough drop?

Nigel now focuses his attention to the king with a little nursery rhyme.

Nigel: Twinkle, twinkle, little Blu. How I wondered where were you? Up above the world so high, are you ready... (Unsheathes his talons) to die?

Rio (Sleeping): Die? (Wakes up in shock) Die? DIE!?

Blu (Sleeping): You have bad breath.

Nigel: Even in sleep, you mock me, just like your dad!

Charlie the Anteater gets his nose stuck in the jar and pulls it off, resulting in the foghorn blaring and waking everyone up. The next morning, the Rio family, Rafael, Nico, and Pedro continue flying as they enter the Amazonian jungle. After Rio and Blu get lost, and reunite with the rest, they see all the blue spix macaws in the Amazon. When Blu chokes on the pack of Tic Tacs, two blue spix macaws perform the Heimlich Maneuver, resulting in the pack hitting Rio's head, then being caught by Eduardo, who is revealed to be Jewel's father.

Eduardo: I've looked everywhere for you.

Queen Jewel: I'm here. (Hugs Eduardo and cries happy tears) Daddy!

King Blu and Rio: "Daddy"?

Rio: Wait a minute, wait a minute. You mean to tell me you're a king too?

(Eduardo turns to Rio confused)

If you're a king, then where's your crown? I've got a crown. (Extends his wing to Blu) And I gave it to my son. (Points to Blu's head) On his head.

Eduardo: I can see that.

Queen Jewel (Crying happily): I missed you. (Sniffles)

Jewel goes on to explain to Eduardo that Rio found him and made her a princess. Then she met Blu and became the new king and queen of Rio. Eduardo hugs the king, thanking him for protecting his daughter. And after Nico and Pedro cry, Rio tells them to suck it up and turns to Eduardo reminding him he's supposed to bow, only Eduardo to tell Rio that he's a king too, and he doesn't need to bow to anyone. Then he finds out that Carla, Bia, and Tiago are his grandchildren and tells Bia to call him "Pop-Pop". They later meet Jewel's mother, and an old childhood friend, Roberto. After Roberto sings the uncut version of "Welcome Back", Rio is moved by the end of the song and cries in tears.

Rio (Crying happily): (Sniffles) Wow! That... was the most beautiful singing... I ever heard!

(Rio breaks down into tears and cries hysterically)

Pedro: And he tells us to suck it up.

Roberto: Who's that guy?

Rio (Crying happily): Rio. (Sticks his wing out) Pleased to meet you.

(Roberto looks at Rio's wing filled with mucus and is disgusted)

Sorry. I got a little mucus on my wing. (Wipes his wing on the leaves) Call me.

Roberto: (Turns back to Jewel) Wow, you look great!

After the uncut version of the song, "Beautiful Creatures", Blu watches his dad, wife, and kids enjoying themselves with the blue spix macaw tribe. After Rio cheers, "Yay! Let's do it again! On me!", he inhales to start singing again, only for the next scene to reveal, Nigel, Gabi, and Charlie in the jungle forest. After Nigel announces his revenge (like in the teaser trailer), Roberto grants Rio, Blu, and Jewel access to his home.

Roberto: What is this crazy talk? No, you guys are staying my nest. I'm on patrol tonight. Mi casa es su casa.

Rio (Flattered): Well, thank you very much, except for Blu is the king, so you're going to have to give him royal treatment.

Roberto: Anything. Just so long as doesn't interfere with my night job.

Rio: Well, I have an entire list of things that I normally would go through when I was king. (One of Rio's former advisors pulls out a long scroll from Rio's fanny pack) So now, this is Blu's schedule. I just hope you and your servants can follow this... well...

(The long scroll unravels open while the camera follows it rolling until it stops)

Roberto: Hey, anything you say.

Queen Jewel: That's really nice, Beto.

King Blu: (Wraps his wing around Jewel) Thank you, but we're fine. Besides, our whole family couldn't possibly fit in your bachelor pad.

We cut to inside Roberto's tree and Rio, Blu, and Jewel are in awe.

King Blu: Real estate must be pretty cheap around here.

Rio: "Cheap"? It's heaven! If only I could I have more servants to fit in this place. Maybe I should've had my wife come.

Queen Jewel: Wow! This place is incredible.

Bia, Carla, and Tiago claim their bunks, and Roberto swears to Rio and King Blu that he'll always protect the family no matter what. He wishes everyone good night and flies out the tree.

Roberto (While flying): Good night, Ju-ju!

Queen Jewel (While waving): Good night!

Rio: Wait, no "good night" from your number one fan?

Roberto (Off-screen, from a distance): You too, Rio! Night-night!

Rio (Satisfied): I think he gets it.

The next morning, Eduardo take Rio and Blu out for some training. During the uncut version of "It's a Jungle Out There", Eduardo and Rio show Blu how to be part of the jungle. Now matter how hard Blu tries, he can't do anything right. And when they meet Felipe, the leader of the Red Macaw Tribe, Rio tells them that Blu is the next King Rio and they should treat him with respect. Eduardo joins Rio in telling them off and they soon see men in hardhats down below. Blu mentions finding Linda and Rio clarifies that he was with one when he found Jewel. He pulls down a projector sheet and shows Blu and Eduardo a slideshow with stills from "Rio", further clarifying the events of the last movie.

Rio (Satisfied): So there you have it, clean and simple. (Rolls the projector screen up out of view) I think I've proven my point.

Eduardo (Mad): You don't understand. You do not bring humans into our tribe. That is the only reason we're still alive. You two cannot be confused about this. Understood?

Blu begins to have a debate in his head about whose side to choose.

King Blu (Thinking): What should I do? As a king, I should just say I don't. If I say yes, he would never understand.

King Blu (Out loud): Yeah. Got it.

Eduardo: (Turns to Rio) How about you? Anything to say for yourself?

Rio: I think I get the memo.

Eduardo: Very good. Sightseeing is over.

Eduardo brings Blu and Rio back to the tree, and after we see Nigel put Gabi's poison on a quill, Rio pauses the movie.

Rio: (Jumps up from under the screen and sees the poisoned quill in the Blu dummy) "To die for"? This can't be good. Do you think we could get back to me?

(Rio walks to the right until he leaves the room, where the screen cuts back to Rio guiding a group of birds carrying a giant boombox.)

Rio (Calling): That's it, a little more! Stop!

(The flock comes to a halt)

Now gently lower it down!

(They all slowly descend until the boombox touches the ground.)

Perfect! And not a single scratch. Now, all I need is a USB cord or a Bluetooth device to connect to my iPhone and bam! Instant background music for all in the Amazon.

Queen Rio: But what about if the humans hear us? You know this isn't Rio, Rio.

Queen Jewel (While flying): Mom! (Hugs her) I thought you weren't coming.

Queen Rio: I wasn't, until I thought in my head that my husband would have been homesick without his music. And well, I had a few workers carry this boombox for days.

Queen Jewel: Boombox? Dad, you know my dad wouldn't like this!

Rio: Why wouldn't he? This is about the most harmless tool in the world. Nothing comes out but music and audio, and it's got a volume dial, a disc player, and an AUX port for your earpieces or Apple devices.

Queen Jewel: Alright, it can stay, but keep it on low volume. If the humans hear what you're playing, they'll find us and hunt us down.

Rio: …Which isn't going to happen at all. So far, no humans have seen or heard us during our trip. Except the ones in the audience watching.

Queen Jewel: I still don't know how you always do that.

Rio's wife: Never question my husband, sweetie. Why don't you check to see if Blu's doing fine. I'm sure he must be finding it hard to fit it since you got here.

Queen Jewel: Maybe I will. (Flies up to Blu, who is shown packing his stuff.)

Later that night, Blu and Eduardo debate about each other from opposite perspectives, even going as far Blu mentioning that as much as he wants to be like his dad, Rio has his head in the clouds. That night, Blu gets an idea and asks his dad for help.

King Blu (Whispering): Dad? Dad? Dad?

Rio (Sleeping): Son, no. I don't wanna dance right now.

King Blu (Whispering): Dad, this is serious!

Rio (Sleeping): Tell me in the morning, son.

King Blu (Whispering): You're gonna miss the Super Bowl.

Rio: (Wakes up) Super Bowl? I'm gonna perform in the Super Bowl? Okay.

(Rio and Blu sneak out of the tree quietly)

King Blu (Whispering): I'll be the one to surprise her. Breakfast in bed, coming up.

Rio (In Realization): Oh, a role-reversal. Okay, okay. Son, do you really wanna do this? (Points down) I've got a boom box down there.

King Blu: Okay, perfect.

The next morning as Blu looks for a Brazil nut, Blu winds up on the Red Macaw Tribe's territory, and Felipe tells the king to meet him at the Pit of Doom for a showdown. Eduardo finds out about this and tells Roberto to look for his best birds. And when he tries to look for Rio, he finds him with a boom box.

Eduardo (While flying): I've gotta find Rio.

(Eduardo finds Rio with a boom box)

Hey, Rio.

(Eduardo stares at the boom box)

What is that thing? I told you, no human stuff allowed!

Rio: But, if you please, this is actually harmless. It's a music player.

Eduardo: Music? Fine. For the Pit of Doom. And the Pit of Doom only.

(Eduardo flies off)

Rio (Bitterly): He shouldn't have to tell me what to do, I'm the king! Or, used to be. I sound like my son.

(We cut back to Roberto flying)

Roberto: Let's go, let's go, let's go! Pit of Doom, now!

At the Pit of Doom, before the games begin, Rio shouts "WAIT!", and talks to both sides.

Rio: WAIT! What about the joy of good sportsmanship? The truce between enemies? You know this is only fair play. Why, you don't even have a halftime show!

Eduardo (Confused): Halftime? What's "halftime"?

Rio: Only the greatest little show on Earth! Come on, where's your spirit? You mean you don't know what halftime is?

Rio calls out to his wife and Blu's current servants.

Rio: Bring in the boombox!

Rio's wife and the other birds from Rio arrive while carrying the boom box and set it down.

Rio: I'm gonna play you a little song. Queen, drop a beat!

Rio's wife turns on the boombox, playing an instrumental version of the JXL version of the Elvis Presley song, "A Little Less Conversion" as heard in other DreamWorks Animation films like "Shark Tale" and "Megamind". The crowd joins in on Rio's singing, and after the song ends, the crowd cheers for Rio's performance as he exits the play zone.

Rio: Drop a mic, and bam! Now you can start your game.

With Blu stuck as the waterboy, he gets jealous when his dad is picked by Eduardo to carry on the team. While no one pays attention to Rio, he eventually catches the nut with his open mouth, only for one of the other blue spix macaws to spit it out of Rio's mouth and make the score tied.

Rio (While flying): Got it!

(The Brazil nut lands in Rio's mouth)

Rio (Muffled): I got it! I got it! I got it!

(A blue spix macaw does the Heimlich Maneuver on Rio, making the nut in his mouth fly into the goal.)

Tapir Game Announcer: GOAL!

Rio: Huh! I did it! And someone gave me CPR!

Porcupine Game Announcer: We are tied in the Pit of Doom.

Porcupine Game Announcer (Off-screen): Whoever scores next...

Tapir Game Announcer: Wins it all!

(Rio sees the Brazil nut fly over his head and fall into the water)

Rio (While flying): I got it! (Dives down) I got it! I got it! I got it!

Queen Jewel (Worried): Come on, dad.

(Rio dives for the nut, only for a piranha to jump out of the water and snag it. Rio kicks it around and gets bit in the leg.)

King Blu (Shocked): Dad!

Porcupine Game Announcer: Wow! Rio is suddenly playing like a pro!

Unfortunately, Rio fired the nut into the wrong goal, and Eduardo let out a scream of anger while Rio cheers for himself.

Eduardo (Mad): I'M GONNA KILL YOU, SHOWBOATER!

Eduardo assaults Rio and beats him up, much to the horror of Blu, who's still on water boy duty. He could have a flashback of how Rio saved his life in the last movie, and do what Rio did to Nigel. Blu intervenes and breaks up the fight while angrily calling out Eduardo.

King Blu (Mad): LEAVE HIM ALONE!

Rio: Son, stay out of this.

King Blu (Mad): No! I'm doing this for you, dad. (Turns to Eduardo) You are not to lay a talon on my father! And whether you want me to be experienced or not, I am the king! My first order of business...

(The crowd turns to Blu and we cut to a closeup of his beak)

EXILE!

The crowd gasps in horror, and the blue spix macaws are saddened by the fact that Blu stripped Eduardo from his title as king of the amazon. And after Felipe talks to Eduardo about starting a nut-free diet, Blu apologizes to his father and Eduardo.

King Blu (Sad): Dad, that come out of nowhere! I'm sorry!

Eduardo (Coldly): I shouldn't have expected more from a spoiled brat! (Flies away, accepting Blu's orders.)

With the Pit of Doom emptied out, Jewel asks Rio and Blu what had happened, only for Blu to confess that he had to banish Eduardo for attacking Rio.

Queen Jewel: We should talk about this.

King Blu: Talk about what?

Rio: Son, I get it. You were trying to save my life. And banishing someone is hard. Believe me, I've been through a lot worse. It's not easy.

Queen Jewel: Blu, look around. The kids are thriving. They love being in the wild. Maybe this place is home.

King Blu (Mad): Home? How could this be home? I have done everything I can to fit in and help out, but no matter what I do is wrong. That's not home, Jewel. Maybe for you, but not for me. And certainly not for dad.

Blu takes off his father's crown and gives it back to his dad in remorse.

King Blu: I'm sorry, dad. I'll never be able to live in your footsteps.

Rio: But, son...

Queen Jewel: (Mad at Blu) You know what? You need to figure out what you want. And maybe stop thinking about yourself and think about us. (Looks down to Rio) Dad, I know what my dad did was uncalled for. I'll still talk to him about it, but you need to do the same.

Jewel flies off, and Blu, after kicking a rock, puts his fanny pack back on and activates his GPS.

King Blu: Come on, dad. We're going back to Rio. Together.

Jewel watches our titular characters fly off, and Rio and Blu make it to Linda and Tulio's campsite, only to see nothing.

King Blu: Goodbye, Linda.

Rio: Goodbye, Tulio. Thank you again for your promise. You stuck to your word.

King Blu: (Unbuckles his fanny pack and sets it on the table) Goodbye, fanny pack.

GPS: Turn around, when possible.

King Blu (Embarrassed): Sorry, GPS Lady. It's not you, it's me.

Rio: (Takes off his crown and hands it to Blu) Aren't you gonna goodbye to your... I mean, my crown?

King Blu (Confidentially): Not this time, dad. (Takes the crown back and puts it back on his head) If I want to be king, I'm gonna run things my way. Goodbye, pancakes. Goodbye, coffee.

Blu spits out the coffee, and he sees a broken radio. Then he and Rio are jump-attacked by Roberto, who calls them traitors. Rio comes to Blu's defense about siding with humans and jump out of the way of an incoming bulldozer. Blu takes charge by ordering Roberto to warn the others while Blu tries finding Eduardo to unbanish him. Rio stops Blu and asks if he should apologize to Eduardo before unbanishing him. Blu accepts on the condition that his dad hand him back his crown. Rio gives Blu his crown back, and Rio flies off until he sees Linda and Tulio tied to a tree. Rio frees them and flies up to see the horror of what the men in bulldozers are doing.

King Rio (While flying) (Worried): I wish Blu was here right now. This place is a wasteland! (Turns to the screen) I mean, just look at it, it is! Even those of you with the 3D glasses, Look at this! I certainly wouldn't want to live in this.

Back with Blu, Blu flies to Eduardo and apologizes for losing it at the Pit of Doom and banishing him, but while Eduardo is satisfied that he's no longer banished, he coldly responds, "This does not mean I accept your apology. It's gonna take a lot more than "I'm Sorry" and unbanishing me to change my mind.". While Blu acknowledges this, he and Eduardo see Roberto going crazy and telling them that Rio was with the loggers.

Roberto: The loggers are coming! And Rio is with them!

Eduardo: Rio? (Gets angry) Traitor!

King Blu (Retorting back): Hey! Don't make me banish you again!

Roberto: No, King Blu is right! Rio is trying to help us!

Queen Jewel (Shocked): What!? By himself?

Eduardo: Let's evacuate! (Turns to Blu) Blu, what should we do?

King Blu: We've gotta go after my father! He could be in terrible trouble!

Eduardo: Then let's go! Everybody move out!

(The Blue Spix Macaw tribe fly away by Eduardo's orders)

Go! Go! Go!

Queen Jewel: Dad! No, not this time. I'm not going with you!

Eduardo: You have to go with me! (Puts his wings on Jewel's shoulders) I will not put my family in danger again.

Queen Jewel: Rio is my family too! He's my dad-in-law!

King Blu: And Jewel's my family too. We're not leaving him behind!

Rio (Off-screen): And you don't have to.

Blu and Jewel turn to see Rio back, and they rush towards him.

Rio (On-screen): You okay, princess?

Queen Jewel: Rio!

(Rio hugs Jewel)

Rio hugs his daughter-in-law and he watches Blu give a rousing speech about how he knows humans as much as Eduardo knows the jungle. A crippled blue spix macaw yells "I'm with you!" and falls off the tree.

Rio: O... kay. Anyone else agree with my son?

When the blue spix macaws are lined up on the trees, Eduardo puts his trust in Blu, and Blu announces his royal oath, "Birds of blue feathers...". Rio and the other birds continue the rest of the oath, "have to stick together!", and they fly into battle. Eduardo is hit with a claw crane, and Linda shows up using a bulldozer to block the crane.

Linda: Pick on someone your own size!

Rio: (Shouting to Eduardo) See? What did I tell ya? Linda is a good person!

Tulio picks up Eduardo and throws him into the air, allowing Eduardo to fly away. Eduardo and Blu watch Linda dance victoriously, and he owes Blu an apology. He even forgives him to boot, only for Blu to tell him to hold off on that until after the war, which Eduardo respects. After the humans retreat, Blu sees dynamite tied to the trees and flies past Big Boss to remove them. Nigel tackles Big Boss, allowing him to get eaten by a snake, and Nigel chases after the king. Blu throws the dynamite into the air and Nigel and takes Blu with him as the TNT explodes. Nigel and Blu wake up, and Nigel attacks Blu's face with his wings, which actually tickles him.

Nigel: A flurry of furious feathers in your face!

King Blu: Hey, you don't have to do this!

Nigel: No, I just want to!

King Blu: Ow! Ow! Ow!

Rio pauses the movie and springs up laughing.

Rio: Okay, obviously, that should've been me. But I'll admit, (Laughing) that's pretty funny!

Rio (Laughing hysterically): That's a pretty funny fight between them!

Rio jumps down and continues the movie. After Nigel is hit with the quill with Gabi's poison on it, Rio shows up surprised that Nigel died and thanks his son.

Rio: Wow. I'd say Nigel is down and out! Good work, son.

King Blu: Um, that wasn't me though, dad.

Gabi screams "No!" in horror and tries kill herself with her own poison, only for her and Nigel to learn that Gabi isn't toxic, allowing her to actually touch Nigel and kiss him. After she drags him off, King Blu appears on the news with Linda. Tulio even has Nigel and Gabi caged, announcing that he'll take them back to Rio for a continuing observation.

The movie ends with the Amazon Untamed show, with Rio and the others singing the "Afro Circus" version of "I Like To Move it Move it" (from another DreamWorks Animation movie, "Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted"), but combined with Will.I.am's version, and without any mentions of "Afro Circus". Rio raps out how to spell "Rio", which (like in the last movie) reveals the title before the list of voice talents are shown for the remainder of the song. At the end of the first set of credits, right when Rio is about to finish his theme song with his "3... 2... 1!", Pedro and Nico appear next to Rio on cue with the last note of the music when Rio says "1!". A few seconds later, Claira the Capybara appears saying "Hi, my name is Claira the Capybara, and that's the end!". She exits with Pedro asking "That's the end?" in confusion.

Nico takes his cap off and he and Pedro fly up out of the shot, leaving Rio behind as he says, "We're just getting started." while the leaves open. Now Rio can be heard singing "More" by Usher, but with Usher singing just the hook and backing vocals. After Rio's cover/collab with Usher on "More", the credits play "Rio Rio" by Ester Dean ft. B.O.B. and Rio and Blu's cover of "Alex on the Spot" (from "Madagascar 2: Escape Africa") from the last movie.

At the end of the credits, Rio congratulates the audience and gives them a reward while saying goodbye.

Rio: (Jumps up from the bottom of the screen) You're still here? I'm impressed. You must've been dancing to those songs in the credits. As a reward, here's a deleted scene we wished was in the movie. For me, I gotta get back to the Fox Studio to talk about my third movie. Enjoy.

(Walks out of the scene to the left, with his wing holding the remote extended as he clicks the remote and slides it out of the way.)

The reward is this deleted scene from "Rio 2", which plays before the closing text, "The making and authorized distribution of this film supported over 12,000 jobs and involved over one million work hours.", followed by the closing 20th Century Fox logo, the closing Blue Sky Studios logo with Scrat holding onto the "B" in "Blue", and the closing DreamWorks Animation logo.

THE END

COPYRIGHT

Rio/King Rio © 321SPONGEBOLT (Me) for "Rio"

[moviesteve]

The title is a potential problem for Mermaid in Paris, Une Sirène à Paris in the original French, a language with only one word, Sirène, for both Mermaid (half human, half fish, entirely fictional, essentially benign) and Siren (half human, half fish, entirely fictional, essentially malign). Mermaids are sexy and nice; sirens are sexy and not. Mermaids aren’t known for the voices; sirens lure humans to their deaths, often on treacherous rocks, by singing to them. Mythologically, sirens didn’t start out as half fish. They were half bird until the Middle Ages, when, under the influence of the mermaid, they began transitioning. Why does this any of this matter? Because Lula (Marilyn Lima), the beautiful mermaid deservingly-handsome Gaspard (Nicolas Duvauchelle) finds unconscious on the banks of the River Seine one evening, is actually a siren, and her song – which has already lured a number of hypnotised men to their deaths – is the nub on which the whole film turns. Why, when this siren wakes up and sings to Gaspard in order to neutralise him, doesn’t he react negatively, like the doctor in the hospital where Gaspard first takes Lula after finding her high and dry? That poor medic first became ecstatic and then had a fatal seizure. Gaspard later reasons it's because his love life has been so disastrous that something inside him has died. In matters of amour Gaspard is unreachable. OK. Does the distinction between siren and mermaid really matter? In the end, not as much as it should. The song apart, this is a familiar story of man and a woman who's fish below waist level. After their fatal misadventures at the hospital, Gaspard takes Lula home, installs her in his bath, as has happened in countless films, and then falls in love with her. At this point it's legitimate to start pondering cross-species human/fish sexual congress and how other human/mermaid movies handled it, or didn’t – The Little Mermaid, Fishtales, Splash, Lady in the Water, Mr Peabody and the Mermaid, The Lure, Ponyo, Ondine, Undine, Oh! My Zombie Mermaid, and more. According to the original logic of this movie, falling in love with Lula should render Gaspard vulnerable to her siren song, though for the film to continue as a love story this cannot happen. There is a lot of this sort of thing going on in Mermaid in Paris. For example the elaborate backstory about Gaspard being a member of the Surprisers, an elite group with heroic levels of creativity. Introduced and then largely ignored. We meet Gaspard's best friend who looks interesting but is soon parked. The same thing happens to Gaspard’s dad, played by the superb Tchéky Karyo. It happens to inanimate objects too – like the fascinating floating nightclub where, beneath decks, the Surprisers still roar the night away. Or how about Gaspard’s career as a singer? He gets a musical number early on before that also turns into a plot cul de sac. Or the pregnant partner of the dead doctor (remember him?), who turns sleuth to find out why her man died. She should be a pivotal character but the screenplay largely abandons her, leaving actor Romane Bohringer to vamp heroically as she gumshoes her way towards Lula. Farewell? Lula and Gaspard Instead of heading up any one of these potentially interesting avenues director Mathias Malzieu and co-writer Stéphane Landowski seem content just hanging about in Gaspard's bathroom, where he and Lula interact cutely in a series of getting-to-know-you scenes. At one point, also cutely, he cooks her some of those breadcrumb-coated bite-size shapes made with mechanically recovered fish. Almost escaping the fate of all the other side characters in this film is Almodóvar regular Rossy De Palma as Gaspard's nosy next-door neighbour, a character who occasionally interrupts the wooing in the bathroom to add mechanically recovered kitsch. There are caveats aplenty but in the end all that matters is that Gaspard is handsome and Lula is gorgeous – god, those eyes. One glance and the idea that a man would go happily to his death to get close to this mythical creature becomes entirely plausible (Marilyn Lima you might remember from a strange sexed-up morality tale called Bang Gang: A Modern Love Story in which she was also fatally alluring). Duvauchelle also makes Gaspard charming and lost-little-boy enough to soften the hardest heart. It’s all delightful, puppy-dog-eyed and gorgeous. Paris is the ultimate orgasmic capital of a billion long-weekend fantasies and Mathias Malzieu, cinematographer Virginie Saint-Martin and production designers Vuk Mitevski and André Fonsny trick the entire film out as a super-warm, sparkly, idiosyncratic, over-stuffed dreamscape, all strongly reminiscent of Delicatessen and Amélie, cartoon-y, beautiful and with feelgood oozing out all over the place. Being strict, it’s obviously a bit of a mess. A fairy tale which, beneath it all, might have a dark heart if it has one at all. In Mermaid in Paris objections will be raised and then they will be parked. It's all rather lovely. Mermaid in Paris – Watch it/buy it at Amazon I am an Amazon affiliate © Steve Morrissey 2023

[safekeeperscosm]

!!!! STOP THAT !!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[teabooksandsweets]

A selection of first and last sentences of Elizabeth Goudge novels

Linnets and Valerians

First: Robert gave the storeroom door a resounding kick, merely for his own satisfaction for he knew that only the kick of a giant would have made any impression on its strong oak panels, and sat down cross-legged on the floor to consider the situation.

Last: Uncle Ambrose also visited him and the greatest pride and joy of his old age was to walk down the Oxford High Street arm in arm with his brilliant nephew, with Hector, who appeared to be gifted with eternal life, sitting proud and erect upon his shoulder.

The Dean’s Watch

First: The candle flame burned behind the glass globe of water, its light flooding over Isaac Peabody’s hands as he sat at work on a high stool before his littered worktable.

Last: Isaac walked out into the sunshine and said to himself, “I shall make the celestial clock again. I shall make it for Mrs. Ayscough.”

The Rosemary Tree

First: Harriet at her window watched the gulls with delight.

Last: “Then it’s an odd thing you thought yourself alone,” said Harriet.

Green Dolphin Country

First: Sophie Le Patourel was reading aloud to her two daughters from the Book of Ruth, as they lay upon their backboards digesting their dinners and improving their deportment.

Last: “Oh, my!” ejaculated Old Nick in mocking tones. And then, very doubtfully indeed, “Oh, my?”

The Bird in the Tree (The Eliots of Damerosehay, no. 1)

First: Visitors to Damerosehay, had they but known it, could have told just how much the children liked them by the particular spot at which they were met upon arrival.

Last: “It’s true,” he thought. “The spirit of man has wings.”

The Herb of Grace (The Eliots of Damerosehay, no. 2)

First: The sun shining through the uncurtained east window woke Sally to a new day.

Last: But the sap rose from inexhaustible depths, and the spring would come again.

The Heart of the Family (The Eliots of Damerosehay, no. 3)

First: Meg, wearing mackintosh boots and a red mackintosh, and with a red sou’wester tied beneath her chin, splashed down the drive, and under the dripping oak-trees, in a state of happiness deeper and more perfect than any other she was likely to know while she lived in this world.

Last: The old house seemed to hold them both, and to hold, too, a welling up of freshness, as though it renewed its youth in the youth of this marvelous child.

Gentian Hill

First: On a clear August evening, borne upon the light breath of a fair wind, the fleet was entering Torbay.

Last: It was eight o’clock, and in a world at peace, they had come home.

Towers in the Mist

First: The first gray of dawn stole mysteriously into a dark world, so gradually that it did not seem as though day banished night, it seemed rather that night itself was slowly transfigured into something fresh and new.

Last: “God bless you and increase your sons in number, holiness and virtue. Farewell, Oxford, Farewell. Farewell.”

The Little White Horse

First: The carriage gave another lurch, and Maria Merryweather, Miss Heliotrope, and Wiggins once more fell into each other’s arms, sighed, gasped, righted themselves, and fixed their attention upon those objects which were for each of them at this trying moment the source of courage and strength.

Last: He would come towards her and she would run towards him, and he would carry her upon his back away and away, she did not quite know where, but to a good place, a place where she wanted to be.

A City of Bells (Torminster, no. 1)

First: Jocelyn Irvin, sitting in a corner seat in a third-class railway-carriage and watching the green and gold of England in the spring slip past the windows, meditated gloomily upon Life with a capital L.

Last: He was a magic man, a fairy-tale man, and it seemed to her quite natural that he should have got lost, for fairy-tale people are always easily mislaid, but warm inside her was the certainty that now at last he was found for good.

Henrietta’s House (Torminster, no. 2)

First: Once upon a time there was a railway station waiting for a train.

Last: So this is the end of the story of Henrietta’s house, and even though it is not strictly speaking a fairy tale – because except for the possible exception of the disappearance of the motor car nothing out of the ordinary happened on Hugh Anthony’s birthday – it can be turned into one by saying that everybody lived happily ever after.

Sister of the Angels (Torminster, no. 3)

First: The moment she woke up Henrietta was conscious that she was happy, unusually, deliciously happy.

Last: Nine o’clock struck and, as always at the conclusion of the carol service, the Christmas bells began to ring.

[loisfreakinglane]

🌻 If you get this, answer with 3 random facts about yourself and send it to the last 7 blogs in your notifications, anonymously or not! Let's get to know the person behind the blog 🌻

Your turn!

oh dang I suddenly forgot every single thing about myself.......... all you need to know is I am an amorphous blob with zero defining characteristics. BUT IF I GOTTA??????????

I have extremely strong opinions about mermaid content and the blogs that cover mermaid content I AM JUST SAYING DON'T CALL YOURSELF A PURVEYOR OF MERMAID MEDIA AND SHIT ON PEOPLE FOR LIKING MERMAIDS OF TIBURON WHEN THE MOVIE YOUUUUUU WATCHED WAS AQUASEX AND ALSO THEN TURN AROUND AND SAY YOU WILL ONLY REVIEW "WESTERN" MERMAID CONTENT I SEE WHAT YOU'RE ACTUALLY SAYING YOU ARE NOT SLICK ITS EVEN EASIER TO FIND MEI REN YU THAN IT IS TO FIND MR PEABODY AND THE MERMAID COME THE FUCK ON

2. I'm becoming a lot more experimental with my makeup. I love it a lot and so far I have not come out the other side looking like a mess SO. I signed up for one of those like monthly makeup surprise bag things to mix it up some more I'm having so much fucking fun with it

3. Quarantine was really weird. Like I never stopped working ever, but my life outside of work was so drastically different, my lifestyle was so changed, I wound up dropping 130 lbs in just under 15 months. Crazy dayz yalllllllllll. I had to replace my whole wardrobe but on the plus side nobody recognizes me anymore!!!!!!!!

IF YOU WANT TO DO THIS CONSIDER YOURSELF ASKED AND TAG ME IN IT!!!!!!