#PLONK.

[mapplestrudel]

I always love your little doodles. May I request a character of your choosing with a really big cookie? Thank you and hope you're having a good day!

Plonk. likes stabbing things and eating big cookies - it's canon now xD

Thank you for the excellent prompt! 💕 It took a while to decide which character should get a cookie xD

My day has been really nice so far and i hope yours has as well ^_^

[mildarka]

Felt like making a reverted AU

[beyondthisdarkhouse]

After months of research and development and market testing and perfecting the first item I feel confident selling online, I have realized... that it is an incredibly niche item that only a specific subset of absolute nerds would want to buy, and I will have to do a ton of explaining the basic idea over and over again before people generally get what it is I'm even selling. RIP me

[jedi-starbird]

Rex: So General Kenobi, how come you speak mando'a?

Obi-Wan: I've always been interested in the culture and I spent a year on Mandalore for a mission in my youth :)

Rex: I see, what about you, General Skywalker?

Anakin: Huh? Oh Obi-Wan used to drop me off in mando daycare when he went to get laid in little Keldabe, fun times, they taught me how to headbutt someone.

[solhunder]

he plonk :)

[leal-hound]

time for self indulgence

au where ani gets thrown back in time and has to change the track of fate by out-mom'ing the golden star and trying to therapist the shit out of marika

[skruttet]

that's so funny 😂

[ladyluckylu]

Lil Gangle gif

[saphushia]

WE ARE THE NEW ⭐E🐱R🐯A🤖 ❗❗❗

[axoqiii]

coughs up another dl!boatboys drawing

[wangxianficrecs]

💙 you're a bird in the water / i'm a fish on the ground by plonk

💙 you're a bird in the water / i'm a fish on the ground

by plonk

Not rated, 8k, Wangxian

Summary: It takes half a year of being married to a human before Wei Wuxian learns that he can, in fact, have intercourse with his husband. Kay's comments: A story in which both human Lan Wangji and merperson Wei Wuxian are monsterfuckers for each other. I hold this story very dear, because I loved the monstrous way the merpeople are described and how they view humans as all weird and deformed for like not having webbed fingers. Pure comedy gold and good for Wangxian for still being so much into each other. Excerpt: On their wedding night, Lan Zhan knocked out at nine p.m. Humans are so odd. They need to sleep for roughly a third of the day or they stop functioning optimally. Wei Wuxian doesn’t get how their species survived that long, spending so much time unaware of their surroundings. Much better to sleep the normal way, in quick intervals throughout the day. He didn’t only notice Lan Zhan’s strategic mind and considerate habits and strong fighting skills during the war. He also noticed that Lan Zhan was… kind of cute. For a human. It was a weird thought to have. Objectively, humans are strange looking. For one thing, they aren’t iridescent anywhere on their bodies. There’s no real luster to them, but they’re not velvety-matte, either. Just kind of dull. Plus, humans have those creepy multicolored eyes. And their fingers are all… separated from one another. Flayed-looking. And they have weird little teeth.

pov wei wuxian, canon era, merpeople, merperson wei wuxian, human lan wangji, monsterfucker lan wangji, monsterfucker wei wuxian, arranged marriage, post-sunshot campaign, friends to lovers, crack treated seriously, humor, romantic comedy, developing relationship, first time

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

[userarmand]

「異人たち」 / 'All of Us Strangers' Interview | Searchlight JPN

[wistfulrat]

・❥・lesbian wangxian reccs ・❥・

ao3topships poll gate made me realize there are hundreds nay thousands of u who dont know abt lesbian wangxian ?? that’s so sad can i proselytize u real quick

mimilamp cinematic universe (the ppl’s mcu) sorry for starting this list with a whole author catalog. as if it's my fault!! these gave me covid. no listen mimilamp fics have feverish lesbian angst levels of hot horny despair that could paralyze a large forest animal. and on a sentence level it's just stunning. messy dykes fumbling toward love confessions while making emotionally insane choices and the sex scenes fuckn bang ??? god is real

good, good - 13.5k E Wei Ying has two broken wrists and now she needs Lan Zhan to help her do stuff (jerk off)

here’s a story - 46k E Wei Ying reluctantly joins her recently-dumped best friend, Lan Zhan, on a couples' holiday retreat. Snow! Drinks! Truth or dare! There's a s-s-s-single bed! You'll never guess what happens next.

out of your system - 20k E “Maybe you should get me out of your system,” Wei Ying blurts. “Maybe that’ll help.” // Wei Ying finds out her best friend Lan Zhan is in love with her and offers a really super solution.

exposure therapy - 14k E Wei Ying clambered up from the floor, put the joint on the corner of the night stand, announced, “Exposure therapy,” and got into Lan Zhan’s bed. // Lan Zhan doesn't like to be touched, Wei Ying likes to touch.

know no one else - 20k E Lan Zhan moves out, Wei Ying's boyfriend moves in. Six months later, Lan Zhan visits, they go to a party, and Wei Ying has something to tell her.

74243 this author should be studied in a lab bc these 2 fics ruined my life. a pulitzer prize short fic with immaculate tone followed by the fuck nastiest shit you will ever read. "wei ying swipes right" still a top 3 bar of all time re: fic summaries. like people died.

chef’s kiss - 6.5k E Wei Ying said, “You know, in some ways I’m kind of depressed. I took your biggest dick on my first try. Now I don’t have anything to build up to.” “There are bigger ones available,” Lan Zhan said lazily. “I can pay for express shipping.” // (Lan Zhan works the late shift.)

pull out game weak - 22.7k E Wei Ying swipes right.

plonk this is the only fic in many ways. dyke nmj's mustache academy award winning breakout role. possessive hot dyke lwj. the sentence "don't knot her you freak." have u ever seen a group chat get rabies in real time. the slut rot breached containment. it was a public health crisis. it brought back horny cinema. cultural reset.

good friends - 11.5k E “I could invite her over for when the game’s done,” Nie Mingjue offers. Lan Zhan hums, considering it. They do that sometimes. Take omegas down together.

occultings will i ever get tired of -wwx thinks she's straight and wants to practice being gay with sadsack lwj who is like sure im in love with u and this will cause me psychic damage but mayhaps that's the cost of being homiesexual--? no i dont get tired of the classics it's called taste

give me one good honest kiss - 25k E The text keeps flashing over and over in Lan Zhan's head like the bulb lights on a marquee. They’d been talking about homework directly before that, swapping notes on music theory in the baroque period. Then, like a fork of lightning out of a clear blue sky: wanna practice kissing? 😚 // Wei Ying suggests an arrangement. Lan Zhan, in love, deals.

saltyfeathers ok so like sure it's ill advised to get your cartilage pierced at claire's but if you wanted the experience of participating in deranged hysteric behavior that kinda bangs in a badgood way? well then.

the mall that has it all - 8k E She introduced herself in the food court, breathless after sprinting across it in Lan Zhan’s direction and vaulting over a table only to crash into the seat across from her, ask, “Can I have a sip?”, spring forward with both elbows on the table to wrap her burgundy lips around Lan Zhan’s smoothie straw, wrinkle her nose, and say, “What is that, kale? Not really my thing, as like, a mall goth. Oh!” A pleased, chaotic exhale. “My name’s Wei Ying.” Lan Zhan said, after taking a moment to fully process the last forty-five seconds, “What?” or; mall goth au

[chapinii]

thinking abt madagio making qfit a cat hybrid so that he can use him as a vessel to spy on the island through easier means

[mattsmantis]

plonk

[vimbry]

I knew tmbg had utilised the toy piano a few times before "lazy", but I didn't realise 1. just how many songs in, and 2. that it's largely linnell. there's literally two flansburgh songs on here + only his solo work lmao