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andreabandrea · 4 months

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The AndreaBandrea UTY post

I need some place to put my Undertale Yellow (UTY for short) thoughts & criticism, and this is my blog, so I might as well put them here. If you don't want to see constructive criticism about Undertale Yellow, don't click below the readmore!

Pretty much everyone I talk to really likes this game, and honestly, I'm really sad that I don't like it more. I like some parts of it quite a bit! But I have mixed feelings about other parts-- I think the writing and characterization could have been a little more impactful than they were, and I’ll be discussing that here. I don’t want to just rag on this game without expressing suggestions and parts that I do like in more detail, so those will be covered as well.

I also want to add a disclaimer that I don't have negative feelings towards the development team or fans of this game in the slightest. I have nothing but respect for the creators of Undertale Yellow. This project was obviously a massive undertaking with a lot of love behind it, and I'm glad to see that it's found success and a community of people who do enjoy it.

The reason I’m writing this post is that, again, I liked parts of this game and wish I enjoyed it more. If I didn’t like it at all, I just wouldn’t engage with it at all anymore. I also haven’t really seen any other people expressing constructive criticism on the game’s writing, so it’s felt more important for me to express these thoughts, be heard, and see if others feel the same way.

The Good

I'll start off with the things I like. The art, the animation, and the music are all fantastic. I was very impressed by the battle backgrounds and the little touches, like the way Clover runs. Clover doing things like reaching for other’s hands, giving fistbumps, drawing their weapon, changing their expression at times-- they feel very dynamic and fun to play as.

The music is really catchy and fun. I love the iterations on the battle theme-- Snowdin’s battle theme having bells, for example.

I also had fun with most of the fights in the game! I liked the unique mechanics that came into play (e.g. the lasso in North Star's battle). I think that changing the way Clover attacks compared to Frisk feels organic and fun.

I also love the mail system. Ever since you could deliver and receive letters in Paper Mario 64, I’ve been hooked on mail as a storytelling system in video games. I think the letters you receive are interesting and clever, and it’s a great way to keep past characters relevant in lieu of a cell phone.

I’m going to be discussing criticism of the characters later, so I’m going to take a moment to talk a little about things I liked about them. I really like Martlet’s optimism and belief in humans. Starlo made me laugh quite a few times and the Feisty Five have a great dynamic with each other. A lot of the background characters in the game are fun-- I like the one who serves you at the Honeydew Resort. The fact that you can go back to these vendors later on and get four new topics to talk about is fantastic and makes the world feel a lot more alive.

The Slightly Less-Good (and more disclaimers)

The writing is where the game falls short for me-- and it’s sad for me, because the writing is the heart of Undertale. I don’t think that the writing is bad by any means! I like the characters and story well enough, but- again- I just wish that I liked them more. I’ll try to incorporate suggestions so this isn’t just a total downer post without anything backing it up.

I want to express something about the ‘suggestions’ that I’ll be offering after the criticism. I know that Undertale Yellow is now out, and the team isn’t going to go back and change it now, and that’s totally fine. I don’t want to make it sound as if the team should change Undertale Yellow just because I have some reservations about it. I’m just one fan out of many. In the very off chance that a member of the Undertale Yellow development team is reading this--

First of all, hi!

Second of all, I know that changing major parts of Undertale Yellow at this point is very unrealistic, and I wouldn’t want you to. If anything, I’m honored you’re reading my ramblings at all. I’d be touched if you’d be willing to take some of my words to heart as you move onto your next creative projects.

The reason I’m including suggestions, therefore, isn’t because I think that the team should or must make these changes, but because I don’t want to just sound excessively negative about this game without offering a little feedback.

I don’t presume that my criticism and suggestions are objectively correct or better than what the Undertale Yellow team created. This is my personal blog, and these are my personal rambly thoughts about Undertale Yellow. The reason I’m including so many disclaimers is because I’ve gotten into discourse before due to poorly thought-out posts about Undertale, and I hope to avoid that this time. I don’t want to just not post something on my own blog, though, because I’m afraid it could be misconstrued or possibly upset somebody. So, I’m trying to discuss this as carefully as I can.

As one final disclaimer, I'll say that I know that it was more likely than not that I'd be at least a little disappointed by Undertale Yellow. The original Undertale was a very important game for me, and very little could reach that standard. (I think this is one reason why Toby decided to do Deltarune, a sort of AU/spinoff rather than a full-on "Undertale 2", and I respect that decision.)

I also think that quite a bit of my criticism is subjective-- several of the characters didn't fully click with me and several of the jokes just didn't land for me, personally. More people than you might think just didn’t connect with the regular Undertale, either. I’ll be talking a little about my subjective opinion on characters, but I’ll try to explain why I feel the way I do rather than just say, “XYZ character sucks because they’re lame, moving on.”

With that said, the post. I’ll be addressing my criticisms from smallest to largest. To begin, I’ll recap the plot of UTY to better analyze aspects that I do and don’t quite like. Spoilers abound.

Undertale Yellow Plot Recap!!!!

The central story of UTY, to my memory and understanding, is as follows:

In the past, a fallen human being went on a rampage in Snowdin and hurt Kanako, the daughter of Chujin, a former royal scientist and monster who happens to be a boss monster. Dalv, an unrelated monster, was also hurt in this incident and sealed himself away in the Ruins in a self-imposed isolation. Chujin’s family (presumably him or Kanako, but not Ceroba, as she doesn’t recognize Dalv) felt bad about this and left him corn from Starlo’s farm as a gift. But, when Chujin died, the corn gifts stopped coming.

Stepping back a bit, after the incident, Chujin developed a deep hatred for humanity. He invented a security robot called Axis and told it to go kill the human. Axis did this (and we will return to this later). Chujin kept the soul (at least, for a time) to experiment on.

At some point in this, Axis failed to impress Asgore and Chujin was fired as the royal scientist. At some point as well, he began to teach Martlet how to build puzzles. Martlet got a job in the royal guard and Chujin disapproved because humans are very dangerous.

Due to experimenting on his own boss monster soul in an attempt to find a way to turn regular monsters into boss monsters so that monsterkind could potentially stand up to the threat of humanity, Chujin wound up very ill and then passed away. He left video tapes to his wife, Ceroba, asking her to finish his research. However, he asked her to leave Kanako out of this so she could live a normal life.

Ceroba agreed to finish this research, but Kanako found out about it and asked to be experimented on because she, like her father, has the power of a boss monster. Ceroba agreed to experiment on her, which injured Kanako and caused her to ‘fall down’. Ceroba sent the near-death Kanako to Dr. Alphys, the new royal scientist, who was collecting ‘fallen down’ monsters for her own experiments with determination.

Plot summary over. I’ll take a closer look at some of these aspects going forward.

UTY Plot Criticism

I don’t feel like this is a bad story, necessarily. With that said, it doesn’t feel quite as tied together as Undertale’s story does, and I think certain aspects don’t land.

First, I feel that the majority of the plot elements about Chujin & Kanako get dumped on you at the last minute. You might be thinking that the story about Chara & Asriel is also dumped on you at the last minute-- and to an extent, this is true. You do get a massive amount of information regarding their story near the end of the game, in the True Lab.

However, Chara & Asriel's story is a massive part of the narrative from the very beginning. You meet 'Asriel' (Flowey) in the very beginning of the game. Toriel is in the Ruins due to the fallout of Chara & Asriel's deaths. Asgore and the monsters are trying to kill Frisk and steal their soul because of this, and the royal guard has taken it up as their mission. Sans is aware of an anomaly that will end everything (implied to be the player), and he would have 'killed Frisk where they stand' had he not made a promise to Toriel. And so on.

I’ll be reviewing criticism of the game’s plot in sections themed around each major character. I will be discussing suggestions about each character in their respective section here, as I discuss things I didn’t quite like about each character, my suggestions are intrinsically tied to why I didn’t quite like them.

Dalv

The connections between characters and the Chujin & Kanako plot feel a bit tenuous to me. Similarly to Toriel, Dalv is in a self-imposed isolation in the Ruins due to a major incident in his past. He fears humans due to the attack he suffered in Snowdin, and he suffers loneliness after losing his friend (who left him corn). When he sees Clover, he wonders if this is “some sort of haunting” (implying he knows that the human who attacked him was killed).

In the pacifist route, Clover can prove to Dalv that not all humans are evil and Dalv can move out and learn how to trust people again. This becomes a recurring theme-- Clover, pure of heart, proving to monsters that humanity isn’t that bad after all.

However, Dalv then disappears from the story. His motivation is to basically be left alone, but once you prove to him that humanity isn’t so bad, his role in the story is essentially complete.

I feel that, by comparison, Toriel’s motivation is more active-- to protect humans who fall down from Asgore. It’s this motivation that drives her to return at the end of the true pacifist route and ultimately make the true ending of Undertale possible.

Dalv’s passiveness makes him a weaker character to me. Now that you’ve proven that you’re his friend and humanity isn’t so bad, I would have liked to have seen him take an active motivation to protect his friend or help them in some way. We don’t have to copy Undertale beat for beat and have him dramatically save Clover from Asgore or anything, but it would have been nice to see him vouch for Clover in some way at some point.

Now, for the final time, I know that UTY is released and major changes aren’t likely. Some of my suggestions are “I would have liked to see this, but this change would require redoing the entire game,” which I don’t think should or could be done at this stage. This is just daydreaming and- if I’m praising myself highly- potential considerations for the devs’ future works (and the works of any other creatives who are reading this).

With this proposed major change to Dalv’s character out of the way, I’ll suggest instead the most minimal possible change that I would like to see, so my suggestions don’t feel entirely like just daydreaming.

I really like how Dalv sends Clover a letter about his moving out to Snowdin. This is active of him in terms of motivation-- Clover is his friend and he wants to keep in touch with his friend. I’d be absolutely thrilled to see a little bit of extra dialogue for him in an update. After you go back to Snowdin and see him, I think the dialogue he already has is totally fine! But, I’d be really happy if he’d take initiative and tell Clover a little more about his experience with the past human, or invite them to rely on him, too.

Martlet

Martlet felt… a bit restrained in terms of her writing, to me. I think that one aspect of Undertale’s writing is that it’s not afraid to go over the top. Papyrus isn’t just silly, he wears a costume every day and cartoon eyes pop out of his head when he’s surprised. Undyne isn’t just determined, she aspires to be a badass anime heroine. I like Martlet just fine, but she never had a moment where she really stood out to me in this way.

Martlet’s defining traits are that she likes puzzles, she loves reading and abiding by the rules of the royal guard, and she believes in humanity and wants to help Clover. As I said before, I really like this optimism and belief. I’d like to see more of it.

Near the end of the true pacifist route, Martlet says that she was taught in the royal guard that humans are scary, but Clover proved to her that humans are kind. This felt very abrupt to me at the time-- we know that Chujin disapproved of her joining the royal guard due to his own trauma, but Martlet had no personal involvement in the last human’s violent actions.

Martlet doesn’t seem to have any reason to dislike humans more than any other monster. We learn in her diary that she essentially joined the royal guard out of a desire to help people and build puzzles, and also because she needed a job.

If she’s just supposed to be a representative of the average monster and their feelings toward humanity, and her growing to like Clover is meant to represent how all of monsterkind could grow to like humankind, that would be one thing-- but I think that she specifically is meant to represent a person who wholeheartedly believes that humans can be good and that humans and monsters can live in harmony. In the no mercy route, she repeatedly pleads to Clover to do better, that they don’t have to act this way, that she wants to help them. That’s not the response of the average monster, who fights Clover or tries to flee from them.

I believe the intention is that Chujin & Martlet represent either end of an ideology axis (no pun intended). Chujin believes all humans are evil no matter what, but Martlet believes that humans can choose to be good. But why does she choose to believe in humans other than a sense of personal optimism?

I would have liked to have seen some defining event that made Martlet choose to believe in the goodness of humanity. I would have liked to have her being kind and optimistic to a fault be more of a defining trait-- to have that go over the top in an Undertale-style way. A lot of her interactions with other characters just personally weren’t very memorable to me.

Martlet spends a lot of the game sidelined. She loses you in the Mines. She gets thrown in jail in the Wild East. She has to go back to Snowdin once you're freed. Yes, she's there for you in the true pacifist route, but she's otherwise pretty absent through the neutral/true pacifist routes.

I recognize that the main characters in Undertale can be absent after you leave their respective sections of the game. However, you're able to call Papyrus & Undyne as much as you want, and you get a major hang-out (or “date”) with each of them and Alphys which gives time to expand on their backstory and character arc. Martlet doesn't get that. We even get a little bit of time to hang out with Dalv after we become his friend, but Martlet shoves us on a boat and hurries us to the next area as soon as we beat her. And sure, we get to talk to her on the boat, but it’s just a bit of silly dialogue-- it doesn’t really expand on her character. It feels like a missed opportunity.

So, yes, my major suggestion on her would be to zoom in more on her belief in you and let her be a liiiiitle sillier and more over the top, and give more opportunity for Clover to hang out with her.

At this stage, however? In this proposed minor ‘dialogue update’, I’d be really excited to see a little something more from her. Maybe a letter? She does send you one, but only in the neutral route to tell you to meet her on top of the apartments. It would be a good opportunity to either let her be silly or explain a bit about when she came to want to believe in humans-- or both, ideally.

Starlo

I honestly have very little to say on Starlo. He seems to be the fan favorite, and I did find his section fun! Ultimately, though, he's just kind of… there? I mean, he's on the periphery of Ceroba's (and Chujin and Kanako’s) story because he's her childhood friend (and his family grew the corn that Chujin gives to Dalv), and yes, he later on reminds her that she can still choose to be a better person because he also almost killed Clover! However, every monster in the game almost killed Clover.

There’s nothing wrong with having a silly character who wears a costume and isn’t a major player in the plot. I feel like Starlo is similar to Papyrus in this way. But Papyrus isn’t just a goofball, he’s the monster in Undertale who believes unerringly in Frisk & the player’s ability to do better because he firmly believes that you can make anything happen if you just try. This belief helps elevate Papyrus from comic relief to an actual rounded character.

I don’t feel like Starlo has any sort of strong conviction like that. We do learn that he wants to bring hope to the Underground by roleplaying as a sheriff in the Wild East town, giving them a slice of (supposed) surface life. I think this is fine, but I’d like to see a bit more of it. In the no mercy route, he does bravely stand against you because he’s a sheriff and it’s his job to bring justice to murderers like Clover.

My expectation when I first met him, a fellow cowboy (gender-neutral), was that he’d have his own ideas about justice. I expected that he would clash with Clover about these ideals, and neither of them would be quite right or wrong-- and this would prove that justice can’t be measured mathematically, and one outcome can’t be applied to all situations.

But, he’s not at all bad the way he is. He has a lot of fans, after all. The minor change I’d suggest now that the game is out is that I’d be interested in learning why the cowboy aesthetic specifically appealed to him. Maybe a diary in his room explaining that Westerns are the epitome of ‘justice’ to him? I’d like to see a peek into the motivation that transformed an ordinary farm boy into someone who could bravely stand against a murderous human.

Ceroba

I’ll be honest. I want to like Ceroba, but I don’t.

I understand that there's an attempt to mirror Asgore in that the war against humanity, in general, has taken Ceroba's partner and her child from her-- and ultimately, Clover forgives her and helps her learn how to move on. It's about letting go, just like Undertale. I get that. But Ceroba’s story doesn't land for me, personally. In order to talk about Ceroba, I need to talk about her husband, Chujin, because Ceroba spends so much of the story acting out Chujin's will.

Whereas monsters in Undertale do attempt to kill Frisk and steal their soul, and Asgore has killed other children before, it's framed in a very 'video game' violence sort of way (again, Undertale has these meta elements). Ultimately, in the True Pacifist route, none of Frisk's deaths have stuck, and Asgore's actions- while reprehensible- allowed for Asriel to break the barrier once and for all.

Chujin, in the video tapes he leaves for Ceroba, implies that Axis’s murder of the human- presumably a child, like Clover and Frisk- was very violent and bloody. It feels a tiny step beyond the 'video game violence' aspect, for me. While it’s shown that Chujin regrets this, it still doesn’t change the way that this violence is expressed in the game.

Instead of giving the human’s soul right to Asgore to bring monsterkind closer to freedom, Chujin- who has already been fired by Asgore, I should add- chooses to keep the soul and experiment with it.

This is very selfish, even though he has good intentions. He’s told nobody else about his experiments with his soul at this point- not even his wife- and Asgore has told him to cease all activities as the royal scientist.

While monsters do want Frisk's soul for their own selfish reasons, they notably do not butcher them violently, succeed in this, and still try to get painted with the same quirky and fun brush that the other characters get.

After Chujin dies, he leaves detailed instructions for his wife to continue his work-- and although he says "don't involve Kanako", he leaves her all the tools she would need to experiment on Kanako, and notably, no other way to finish his work except to experiment on Kanako.

As I said, Kanako finds out about this and asks to be experimented on. And while she does give consent, she is a child. I cannot stress this enough-- she is a child who just lost her father and is still wracked by grief. Kanako is a child who cannot possibly know what she is consenting to.

Ceroba chooses to experiment on Kanako and more or less kills her. And then she chooses to send her 'fallen down' daughter to Alphys's experiment, despite the fact that Kanako presumably has some sort of trace of human soul/determination left in her-- which could have compromised Alphys's work as well.

Let's return to how I said that Ceroba is a mirror for Asgore. She's made so many mistakes and it's cost her her family and she can't stop now or it will all be for nothing. She's done horrible things, just like Asgore.

But the difference is that Asgore is the king of monsterkind. Asgore has no desire to kill human beings. He declared war on humanity in a fit of anger and grief, but the Underground had lost hope due to the loss of Chara & Asriel. Believing that Asgore could gather seven human souls and free them all brought hope back to the Underground.

His actions, while wrong, are selfless-- and much less explicitly violent and more 'cartoon violence'-like. Chujin & Ceroba have the well-being of monsterkind as their own pure intentions, but their actions are far more selfish and violent. Axis, Chujin’s creation, massacred a human being. Yet we're still expected to find them silly and fun and relatable-- it just feels unusual.

I’m not someone who hates nuance or morally gray characters. One reason I’m so sad that I don’t quite like Ceroba is that I love morally gray women. It’s just that we’re not allowed to really dislike Chujin or Ceroba for what they’ve done, and instead we’re supposed to see Ceroba- and Axis- as silly and relatable like the rest of the characters.

Immediately after Ceroba’s boss battle, instead of processing what just happened to a greater extent, Clover chooses to sacrifice their soul for monsterkind.

I understand that the intention is that Ceroba's grief and Chujin's desperation to protect monsters from humanity contributed to Clover's decision to sacrifice their soul. However, the idea is- to me- abrupt. Ultimately, too, Clover's decision is just as much about how much they love their friends (and how it's impossible for them to hide out in the Underground forever) as it is about Ceroba and her family.

Chara & Asriel’s deaths, Asgore’s war on humanity, the war of humans and monsters-- these elements impact every part of Frisk’s journey. But Chujin and Ceroba’s actions, while impactful on Martlet and Dalv to varying extents, are only part of Clover’s journey. And Chujin and Ceroba did awful things for this comparatively minor impact on the plot.

EDIT: Further analysis about how Ceroba doesn't have a lot of agency and spends a lot of the plot just acting out Chujin's will, as well as the inconsistency in her characterization (and feelings about sacrificing Clover and the well-being of Kanako), with input from @carlyraejepsans. Thank you!

I would have liked to have seen a bit more from Ceroba without any influence from Chujin- maybe an interaction explaining her relationship with Martlet and an additional conversation about Martlet’s nearly unwavering belief in humans vs Ceroba’s inherited grudge against humanity- but I don’t know where this would fit in. Adding more time for Clover to process Ceroba’s boss fight before sacrificing their soul might throw off the pacing.

In general, though, Ceroba's boss fight- while flashy and fun- ultimately feels pointless with how little she learns from it and how quickly she changes her stance on using Clover's soul for the benefit of monsterkind, and what will happen to monsters after they break the barrier. To quote @carlyraejepsans in the ask linked above:

In addition, it's like the writing didn't want to commit to her delusions and little character development. She feels that her daughter is alive and thinks she can save her—wait no that was a lie—wait it wasn't. The moment she's defeated she goes "Agh, what was I thinking!" out loud (which is already a questionable writing choice imo but i digress), and recognizes that sacrificing Clover for her plans is horrible... and then 5 seconds later Clover chooses to sacrifice themself to break the barrier and whoops nevermind she's suddenly the one getting the others onboard with the idea... wait. didn't she say she was making the serum because the humans would've only slaughtered them again if they broke the barrier? oh wait wasn't that also chujin again? whoops.

I would have felt better if there were more room to view Chujin and Ceroba in a critical light (and time to view Ceroba outside of just being a mom and wife). I can’t think of any ‘minor’ suggestion that wouldn’t require a lot of editing.

Axis…

And... okay. Let's talk about Axis real quick.

I want to give the dev team the benefit of the doubt, but I need to point out that this security robot's name is "Axis 014." If you don't know what I mean by pointing this out, I'll just say that both of these terms are nazi dog whistles and allow you to look up the specifics.

I recognize that, by this point, it’s too late to change his name. I’d at least be grateful if the team would acknowledge this and confirm that they aren’t nazis.

Axis’s name makes his actions far worse in retrospect. He, as a security robot wants to kill a child, but he isn't able to anymore because his programming has changed. So, as a legal loophole, he forces them to hold 'a weapon' (a trash can lid) so he can justifiably kill them. This is the same robot that brutalized and murdered a human being in the past at Chujin's behest.

It feels tone deaf and ultimately the one thing I’d just outright call bad about UTY. I don’t think it was intentionally done this way, but I don't like that we're supposed to find this nazi-aesthetic police brutality robot "quirky and relatable" like the Undertale cast. In the true pacifist ending, he falls in love with a robot made out of a trash can and his eyes turn into cartoon hearts and etc. It’s even more jarring than viewing Chujin & Ceroba in a fun/relatable way.

In the no mercy route, Axis will defend himself and claim that his programming forced him to kill the human and he didn't want to. This "just following orders" defense feels weak to me as well, personally. Axis clearly delights in harming humans, going out of his way to try to kill Clover. But also, Axis spends a significant amount of the game displaying a very similar amount of free will to the other characters. He’s not just a janitor robot that sweeps back and forth.

He’s a nearly sentient being-- and the fact that there are these nearly sentient robots makes Alphys’s accomplishment of creating “a robot with a soul” (at least, so she claims-- Mettaton is only the ghost in a machine) much less impactful to me, personally. Yes, Asgore thinks that Chujin failed in creating a sentient robot, and so it’s impressive that Alphys supposedly did it. But I don’t know why Asgore wouldn’t be more skeptical of Alphys’s accomplishment after Chujin failed more than eight times and set fire to his flowers.

I think that Axis is ultimately a missed opportunity to make a really villainous character. This concept that he disobeys his programming- used as sort of a parallel for law, as a security robot- to attack Clover could have been explored to further the ‘justice’ theme. He doesn’t write his programming (the laws), he just carries it out (violently enforces the laws).

The ‘minor’ suggestion I’d make, though, is to just acknowledge the name.

Undertale & Meta Elements

Now, we’ll be addressing my largest criticisms-- the omission of meta elements and the way Flowey is written.

Undertale Yellow never quite stopped feeling like a fan game to me. And it is, of course-- but I think that it feels as if it tries so hard to be Undertale (in the writing style, the humor, etc) that it fails to forge an identity of its own, and that holds it back from being just a fangame to a fangame that succeeds in expanding on the original creative work.

At the same time, although UTY tries to feel like Undertale, I don’t think it captures certain elements that make Undertale be Undertale.

Whereas Undertale was ultimately about video games as a medium and the normalization of violence in them, UTY doesn’t have this level of metatextual commentary. UTY does have a running theme of 'justice'-- and I don’t think this is bad! After all, if Undertale already said all there was to say about video games and violence, why retread that path? I respect that UTY knows its limits and simply focuses on justice as a concept instead.

At the same time, Undertale isn’t just an RPG about mercy-- it’s an RPG about RPGs. The fact that you can talk to and spare enemies isn’t just a quirk of the game, it’s what the game is about. This is one thing that makes Undertale great that UTY doesn’t focus on.

UTY doesn’t completely ignore these elements, of course. Flowey takes over resetting for you, and you do have three distinct paths based on whether or not you kill enemies-- the ‘true pacifist’ path, the ‘neutral’ path, and the ‘no mercy’ path (I will not be calling it the ‘genocide’ route, especially in light of recent world events). Through whether or not you choose to kill enemies, the theme of ‘justice’ is explored-- who is Clover seeking justice for? In the true pacifist route, Clover seeks justice for the monsters, while in the no mercy route, Clover seeks justice for the fallen humans before them.

However, Flowey taking over the mechanics of saving and resetting for you makes concept of ‘the player’ obsolete. I recognize that not everyone in the Undertale/Deltarune fandom quite enjoys the concept of 'the player' and the meta elements of these games due to the fact that there can be implications that playing Deltarune (as an example, which ups the meta elements quite a bit) can actively hurt Kris and make their world a worse place. However, Deltarune isn’t a complete work and we don’t know this for certain. Additionally, I feel as if at least acknowledging Toby's intentions are important to analyzing the work, no matter what one's personal feelings are about them.

The Importance of the Player

The presence of you, the player, is important in Undertale. Frisk is a subversion of the 'blank slate protagonist' trope. You think that you're able to name them and control them, but in the True Pacifist route, Frisk begins to act on their own (they walk slowly in some parts of the True Lab because they're presumably afraid, etc). In the end, you realize that Frisk is their own person with their own name, and you as the player have to let go-- when Frisk & the monsters go to the surface, Flowey (a mirror of the player themselves) urges you to let them go. Don't treat this as a game anymore-- don't replay and wring out any last drops of content you can. You enjoyed it, now move on.

But many players want to see the No Mercy route because it’s the last thing they haven’t done in the game, and they don’t want to let go. And that's where the role of you, the player, becomes undeniable in the game's story. What is the No Mercy route except playing a 'typical' RPG in the way it's meant to be played? You grind to become stronger, killing every enemy that stands in your way. And when you've killed all the monsters and become as strong as you can be, you've won.

Many players didn't do this because they hate the characters in Undertale and want to hurt them-- if they hate them, they likely just wouldn't play the game. Many players did it because they like the characters in Undertale, and wanted to see what would happen. They couldn't stop playing. And this is exactly what Sans means in his dialogue during his boss battle-- to paraphrase, "you think that because you can, that means you have to."

This is one of the ways that Flowey is a mirror of the player. Flowey didn't start killing out of malicious intent, but because he had become so bored and isolated that he just "had to see what happens".

Chara's role at the very end of the No Mercy route is to call you out directly for this. They tell you that their power was yours. Their words were very misconstrued by fans for a long time, and they themselves wound up as a scapegoat for the No Mercy route-- but ultimately, there's no reason for Chara or Frisk to kill every monster in the Underground. The only reason is because of you, personally. You want to see what would happen. You want to grind and play it like a typical RPG.

They call you out for this if you don't want to delete the game world at the end. Why go back to that world that you've already destroyed? Why play nice with the monsters that you just massacred because you can?

Why am I talking about this at such length? Because I believe that ‘the player’ and how they interact with the world of Undertale is important. Characters lampshade the UI and battle mechanics often-- Flowey talking about the world as a game and ‘saving’ and ‘loading’, Papyrus telling you to “press C to open the dating HUD”, Sans explaining ‘LV’ and ‘EXP’, and so on.

This is my personal opinion, and I recognize this is very nitpicky, but I feel that not acknowledging this or adding to these meta elements in some way makes UTY weaker for me.

Flowey’s Role in UTY

Flowey essentially saves and resets for you because he's bored, and he wants to use Clover as a tool to access Asgore’s five stored human souls. His role as a mirror for the player becomes him essentially just acting as a stand-in for the player. While this in itself can invite self-reflection, I think that the execution of his role is a little awkward.

We learn at the end of the neutral route that Flowey has already reset the timeline hundreds of times by the time we first start playing the game. According to him, Clover always ends up at a dead end (they choose to stay in the Underground for the rest of their life) or they die (and they can’t reset of their own power). Thus, Flowey chose to set Clover on an alternate path by sabotaging a lever in the Ruins, which made them fall into the Dark Ruins and meet Dalv.

Flowey then tries to kill Clover and absorb their soul because they, again, hit a dead end. Yet he gives up on it after a while because Clover won’t stop fighting back, and he thinks he can just reset and try again anyway.

At the end of the true pacifist route, Clover instead opts to sacrifice their soul willingly to Asgore & monsterkind. Flowey comments that he could just reset (and you still can, if you want to play again), but Clover “earned their rest” and he calls them a friend.

This progression from “Clover is a tool that Flowey is using to access the 5 human souls” to “Clover is a friend and Flowey willingly lets them die and stay dead” feels undeserved and underdeveloped to me.

"But, Andrea," you might say, "Flowey went from trying to kill Frisk as Omega/Photoshop Flowey to hugging Frisk as Asriel really quickly too!"

Yes, but in that short time, Frisk and Flowey/Asriel had a Whole Thing where Frisk 'saved' him like everyone else and he learned he needs to let go, too. It was a short time, but it was a poignant time. By contrast, Flowey is pretty much absent throughout most of UTY's true pacifist route. Sure, you could easily say that he just got bored of Clover and gave up-- but that, too, doesn’t feel quite right to me.

I really hate to say this, but I feel that Flowey’s writing in UTY cheapens the original Undertale for me, which is why this is one of my major criticisms of the game.

Flowey's entire character arc in Undertale is about how he was stuck with the same places and same people for an endless amount of resets. In my opinion, the limited amount of places and characters for him to interact with in Undertale only adds to how trapped he is (and the Underground being so small really strengthens the concept of "there's overpopulation and the monsters are running out of time to find a solution/earn their freedom" that we see in the game, but I digress).

So when something finally changes and he meets Frisk, it's deeply impactful to him. Finally, someone new to play with! Finally, potential for change! Even though Flowey admits that, even if Chara came back, there's a great chance that he couldn't really love them due to his lack of soul, just experiencing something new for the first time in ages is as close to love as he can possibly get. So Flowey:

Starts to believe that Frisk is Chara, this person he ‘loves’ or wants to love, or some manifestation of Chara.

Refuses to let Frisk go, even if that means- when Asriel has the power of seven human souls- just resetting the Undertale timeline over and over instead of going to the surface or doing anything else.

For Flowey to have gone through everything that he does in UTY- all these new places, all these new people, Clover included- weakens this, in my opinion. And sure, there's very heavily implied to be lots of places that Frisk doesn't explore and people they don't meet-- 99% of New Home and its residents, for instance. But Clover themselves is the real problem for me.

No matter how many times Flowey reset with Clover, I really struggle to believe that he would get bored of a human being that easily. He even said that Clover's actions and choices would sometimes change from reset to reset, and he only recently learned how dramatically he could alter their path by sabotaging that lever in the Ruins. Clover isn't a static being-- and even if they were, they're at least a new static being.

And although we learn in the neutral route that Flowey can't really absorb Clover's soul because they fight back too much, I can't believe that would stop Flowey so easily. What about at the end of the pacifist route, where Clover has given it up willingly and it's being transported in a little jar? Clover’s body is separated from the soul, now-- could Clover still fight back?

Or, what about if Flowey tried to kill them as soon as they entered the Ruins? Or, what if Flowey played nice the entire route and then at the end tried to convince Clover that if they sacrificed their soul, he would take it to Asgore for them? With access to full control of the timeline, I don't think Flowey would give up on this. We learn in Undertale how painful it is for him to be soulless and how desperate he is to access power so that things will change.

For Flowey to acknowledge Clover as a 'friend'- maybe even a true person, not just a compilation of dialogue- suggests character growth. It suggests remorse for his resets that he isn't capable of having and doesn't have until the events of Undertale. I just don't feel like it’s earned.

Flowey is, of course, an unreliable narrator.

At the end of the no mercy route of UTY, Flowey expresses that he never saw Clover as a friend-- he only enjoyed watching them die over and over again. It should be noted that this was said while under extreme duress (Clover is LV 20 by this point and has killed everyone save for Asgore), and this route isn’t canon in the way that the neutral and pacifist routes are.

With that said, if we agree that Flowey can’t feel love as a soulless being, then I could argue that this is about as much of a ‘friend’ as anyone could be. This is how he wanted to keep Frisk (“Chara”, in his mind) for eternity when he had the six human souls + the entirety of monsterkinds’ souls-- just watch them try over and over again, for eternity.

Why am I contradicting myself? Because, let’s suppose that Flowey doesn’t mean Clover is a ‘friend’ in the traditional sense- that they earned his respect and he cares for them in some way- but Clover is a new toy that he got bored with and gave up on. I feel like this, too, makes Undertale a little weaker.

If Flowey did have some type of positive regard for Clover, but was willing to let them go, then it feels- to me- like Frisk’s role in his story isn’t that significant. Frisk helped him learn how to let go and move on, but Flowey has already demonstrated being capable of this. The circumstances are different- if Flowey gives up at the end of Undertale’s true pacifist route, it’s over for real, whereas if he gives up at the end of UTY, he can just wait for another human to fall- but I feel like the core feeling is the same. Flowey, by the start of Undertale, doesn’t strike me as someone who’s capable of letting go.

So, how would I have changed this?

I recognize that- again- Undertale already made these points about video games and violence, and Flowey has his entire character arc in that game. For Flowey to have more of an arc in this game would potentially make this game no longer line up with canon Undertale or weaken Undertale further. And why retread old ground that Undertale already talked about?

I respect the decision to tell a self-contained story, but the meta commentary about video games in Undertale is so significant for me that I personally would have liked to see a bit more of it in Undertale Yellow. I also recognize how much of my criticism of Flowey’s writing in UTY is subjective. It feels unrealistic for me, his arc feels abrupt for me, it makes Undertale less poignant for me.

A lot of people love his inclusion in this game, and it’s very novel to see Flowey as a friend throughout most of UTY and hear his snarky commentary on demand rather than having him as an enemy who’s absent through most of the game, as he is in Undertale.

The Flowey Suggestions

First, I’ll be honest. I know this is not and has never been possible, but my easiest solution to the dilemma of Flowey’s lack of a character arc- and the lack of an ability to give him a character arc- would have been to just remove him from UTY.

I think that Flowey’s inclusion in the story of the yellow soul human and his role saving and loading could have been interesting. It goes against certain story elements implied in Undertale, and popular fan theories-- and I don’t mind that, if something meaningful is done with it. But, I feel as if Flowey’s relationship to Clover isn’t impactful enough to justify including him.

To clarify on ‘implied story elements’ and ‘popular fan theories’:

While I might be misremembering, I thought that it was implied in Undertale that Flowey came into being after Asgore had already collected six human souls, and that a significant amount of time had passed since the last human had fallen down.

I won’t go into it at length because this post is long enough and I, again, am not an Undertale expert. With that said, it’s also implied that all human souls are capable of saving/loading/resetting in the Underground. If you make Frisk tell Asgore that he killed them before, he just nods as if he’s used to it-- and he’s the one character who we know has killed humans before.

Now, how did Asgore successfully kill beings that can just reset the game whenever they die? Well, Sans faces the same dilemma in Undertale’s no mercy route. There’s no way that he can permanently defeat you, the player, who is a real being. Therefore, the way he ‘wins’ is by infuriating you enough with his difficult boss fight until you give up and stop playing Undertale (or, at least, reset and make better choices).

Think about all the times you’ve played a game, got stuck on a hard boss, and never played it again. While it’s not ‘canon’ to the story- giving up on your copy of Mario doesn’t mean Bowser really wins- functionally, giving up on a game means that the story ends for you. This is how I believe Asgore captured the six human souls, even if they were also capable of resetting like Frisk is-- he fought them until they gave up.

Humans all are said to have great amounts of ‘determination’, not just red soul bearers. We don’t even know what trait the red soul exemplifies. Whatever it is, I don’t think it’s determination itself.

The bottom line is that I don’t think it would be unrealistic for Clover to be able to save/load/reset on their own, or for Flowey to not exist yet during the time they fell down.

But, I get it, Flowey was in UTY’s demo that has been out for seven years. He’s in the trailers. He couldn’t be removed at any part of development, and he sure as hell can’t be removed now.

My second suggestion would have been to zoom in on him, instead. While the prequel is about Clover, the yellow soul human, I would have liked to see it be about Flowey in a significant way. I kept hoping for Clover to have an opportunity to ask Flowey at some point, “why are you helping me, anyway?”.

This is my personal interpretation, but I’ve come to believe that Flowey thinks that the reason he’s stuck as a flower is that it’s a punishment. Because he, as Asriel, refused to fight back, he failed Chara, and now they’re dead. Now he’s stuck as a rinky-dink flower with no soul, he can’t love his former family, and he can’t stop playing this game.

In the no mercy route of Undertale, Flowey feels very much like he’s trying to appeal to Frisk- the person he believes is Chara- in a way like a younger sibling trying to impress an older sibling. He says he’s impressed by how you killed everyone. He helps solves puzzles so you won’t have to slow down. He brags to you about how he’s also a heartless killer.

Notably, he talks about his past. He tells ‘Chara’ that he was afraid to start killing, at first. He said he wouldn’t enjoy it, but he just had to know what would happen.

Then, Flowey laughs and says that you (Chara) know how liberating it is to be this way-- to kill people and shape their fates. He ‘recognizes’ Frisk as being actually Chara because of how they killed everyone in the Ruins.

But we have no indication that Chara was a violent or evil person in their life. I believe that Flowey is partially projecting and partially recognizes Chara because, in the last moments of their life, they were telling him to kill. He always knew that Chara hated humanity and wanted power to better the position of monsterkind. This is why Flowey brags about how he has a plan to get the human souls, and once they do so, they can go to the surface and “finish what [they] started.”

To Flowey, in my opinion, killing people isn’t just about seeing what happens. It’s about trying to understand and appease Chara and doing what he thinks he should have done all that time ago, as Asriel.

I bring this up because I think that I would have liked to have seen this be explored in Undertale Yellow. Flowey is still a very misunderstood character today due to being an unreliable narrator. I believe that a lot of Flowey misinterpretations are due to taking him at face value-- hearing him say that he’s an unfeeling, manipulative, patient killer and agreeing with him.

But Flowey contradicts himself at several points. He gives up his “catch these friendliness pellets” trick after you dodging just a few times. These aren’t the makings of a perfect manipulative killer, but an impatient child. That’s who Flowey is at his core-- a child.

I recognize that, again, if Flowey told all of his tragic backstory to Clover and they became true friends, this wouldn’t fit with canon Undertale and his actions in that game. Flowey and Asriel distance themselves from each other, and it wouldn’t make sense for Flowey to tell this to Clover-- especially if he just views them as a tool to use and play with.

I think, however, it wouldn’t have been impossible for Clover to have learned this information about Flowey in a way that could still be canon compliant with Undertale itself. Hypothetically, maybe the “hopes and dreams” statue in the UG Apartments near the Core could have sparked intrigue in Flowey.

Maybe analysis of Flowey could have come up during his neutral route boss fight-- after all, Clover appears to peek into the minds of Ceroba and Martlet during the true pacifist and no mercy run boss fights, respectively. We already get a little of this- Clover has to run through a hallway of flowers in Flowey’s boss fight, and we hear sad and scared dialogue that’s presumably from a past version of Flowey himself. However, it’s not necessarily new and doesn’t quite add to Flowey’s character in my personal opinion.

I feel that including Flowey’s story more in some way would justify having Flowey in the game, and knowing the history of Asriel & Chara could factor into Clover’s decision to give up their soul for the sake of monsterkind. Chara, too, sacrificed themselves willingly, after all.

I don’t have a ‘realistic suggestion’ that could be implemented with a dialogue update because these suggestions are so vast-- and, ultimately, very personal and subjective. I have very strong feelings about Flowey.

Meta Elements of Undertale

In Undertale, you’re asked when you should or shouldn’t fight. As a pacifist, you can get through the Ruins without killing anyone. Flowey will then ask you what you would do if you met a relentless killer. Would you betray your morals and fight? Or would you give up and let yourself die?

Undertale is the friendly RPG where nobody has to die. While you have to kill Asgore at least once to do the neutral route, and you do have to fight back against Omega/Photoshop Flowey to end his battle, the game ultimately posits that there never is a good time to fight. You don’t beat Omega Flowey by being stronger than him, you do it by appealing to the souls and allowing them to rebel. You don’t beat God of Hyperdeath Asriel Dreemurr by beating him up, you do it by saving your friends- him included. The game, again, is about an inversion of the necessity of violence in video games to me.

I would have been interested in seeing an exploration of when it is necessary to fight, and this could be done through the lens of ‘justice’. Would Clover fight if it brought them closer to justice (on a pacifist route)? Is it morally correct to kill one person if it saves thousands?

Sparing someone is always the correct option in Undertale. In that way, the true route is quite linear-- there’s one solution that works for everyone. What if there were situations in UTY in which there is no single correct option that works for everyone? What if Clover were placed in situations in which they had to act as arbiter and decide between two outcomes and what is right? It could have been like how they get forced to solve the trolley problem in the Wild East, but with consequences.

Adding to putting a ‘twist’ on the elements that Undertale introduces with its combat system-- what if sparing someone ultimately enabled them to keep hurting others? What if fighting to weaken someone was the correct solution for once? These inversions could have built on the meta elements of Undertale, and I think that it would make Clover’s decision to sacrifice themselves to bring justice to monsterkind more poignant to me.

Again, I have no ‘realistic’ suggestion for this in the full release of UTY. I think that the plot about justice alone isn’t bad, but I would have been happy to see it tie into the gameplay a little more.

Conclusion

Ultimately, I think that UTY tries too hard to be Undertale without iterating on the aspects that made Undertale memorable. The characters feel like they fail to pop or relate to the game’s story in meaningful ways, and to me, the main story isn’t executed as well as it could have been (and far darker than the main Undertale in ways that don’t feel as if they’re handled sensitively).

I will say, again, that this project is very impressive in scope, and I applaud the dev team for finishing it and releasing it. I recognize that a lot of my distaste is subjective, and creating another Undertale is a fool's errand considering the acclaim that Undertale got. I recognize one final time that my suggestions are just daydreaming, and this game has already found a lot of success-- which I think it deserves.

I tend to criticize a lot of media I like, which might sound contradictory to some, but it makes perfect sense to me. If I don’t like something, I won’t engage with it. I think that the original Undertale has its flaws, too. At the end of the day, I like UTY, but no media is perfect. This is how I think it could have been better, and I hope that I think other creatives who want to make Undertale fanworks (or any creative works, for that matter) will take these thoughts into consideration.

Thanks for reading.

#bandrea blabbers #long post #the uty post

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doe-eyed-fool · 2 months

Text

Fallen {Chapter Eight}

Alastor x (fem)Reader

"I was also thinking we could add some gaming consoles. Just if you get some younger sinners coming through. Doesn't have to be all new, some people like older systems too." I say to Charlie. She was writing some of the ideas I had down as she listened.

So far, I had suggested a television with some movies to go along with it. As well as a Bluetooth speaker for playing music, and some board games. And it wouldn't hurt to add video games as well. "I think I can get my hands on some of those." Charlie says with a smile.

"Any other ideas?" She asks. "Well, I did have an idea for advertisement. But first I have to ask, why haven't you created a build board yet?" I guess it would make sense for the city like aesthetics of hell would have build boards too. And I've seen tons. Advertising all sorts of things, even admittedly some pretty silly and downright stupid things.

"Well, it's not like I haven't tried." Charlie laughs weakly. "As you can imagine, no one is really taking my idea seriously. So, there's that. Also, there's a ton of people ahead of me trying to get one."

"But aren't you the princess of hell? Can't you just...you know? Make them bump you up to the front?" I ask. "Nah, I don't want to have to do that." Charlie shrugs. "I wanna try and do this my own way, without abusing my power. I've only had to do it once, and that was when Alastor showed up to the hotel. I had to convince him to not pull any stunts behind my back and to basically play nice with the people checking in." She explains.

"I guess even he has to listen to you." I say with a slight smile. "Eh, yeah. But it's like pulling teeth." Charlie sighs. "I believe you." I sigh as well. Charlie eyes me for a second before speaking again.

"You said Alastor helped you find your way here from a bad spot. But how exactly did that happen? He isn't the most...friendly(?) of people." I felt a twinge of panic surge through me at that question. Though, I had a feeling the question would come up eventually. But I had hoped I'd never have to be the one to answer it.

"Um yeah...I was in bad shape when I landed in hell." I began, trying to make this as convincing as possible. "I was really injured and he helped me. Then he mentioned this place and brought me here. I uh...really want to go to heaven. And when he said there was a place to help me get there, I jumped at the chance."

"I see." Charlie nods. "I guess I'm still just a little shocked that he of all people offered to help someone out. He didn't try and trick you or anything...right?" She leans a little closer to me as she whispered. I smile as best as I could and shook my head. "Nope. I came here of my own will." Charlie leans back. "Huh. Ok. Maybe this place is rubbing off on him after all." She says, her smile returning.

"Though, I have a feeling he'd deny it if I told him that." She chuckled. "Well, if you can't get a build board right now. Maybe stick to posting the hotel online? Maybe make an account just for the hotel and it's amenities?" Charlie takes out her phone.

"I've tried that. But there's not many followers, and the attention the hotel does get is mostly from troll accounts and overall dickheads." She says as she shows me the phone. She opened up an app called Sinstagram...uh, clever? And scrolled down to the comments under the photos.

And just as she said, it was filled with crude, hateful, and downright inappropriate comments. Very little people were taking it seriously.

"Oh, I see." I mutter. "I know you said you didn't want to use your status to get your way. But, I was thinking maybe use that kind of power in a good light." Charlie gave me a confused look, she stayed quiet, letting me explain further.

"Why not throw a ball and invite some persuasive people? Maybe the overlords? They seem pretty important. You could pitch the hotel to them personally, and if you can catch their interest, they're bound to talk about it." Charlie leaned back and hummed.

"I do like the idea of a ball but...I don't know, the overlords never expressed any interest in the hotel. Besides, most if not all of them gain from people's sins. Especially in the entertainment industry, like Val and Vox. Those two are unstoppable when it comes to providing for the sinners in hell. Of course, they don't topple over the deadly sins themselves but uh..." Charlie trailed off when she noticed how lost I was.

She cleared her throat. "But, it wouldn't hurt to try...right?" She smiles weakly. I could only nod, matching the grin.

I did feel for her. Starting a project that you're very passionate about, only to be met with hate and dismissive comments has to sting. It seemed like even her own father didn't care about her dream. I wish there was something more I could do to help her.

"Hey, how about those new curtains huh?" I say, trying to brighten the mood. Charlie and I looked towards the large windows, the fancy velvet red curtains that accompanied them. For the past few days, the hotel has gotten a bit of a fixer upper.

New furniture, wallpaper, and lighting had been installed into the hotel. We even gave the outside a good polishing, thanks to Alastor's help that is. Otherwise it would have taken much longer. And now with a new common room with various forms of entertainment on the way, the hotel was looking better with every passing day.

If it's one thing people could say about the hotel, that wasn't completely bashing or berating it, was that it looked aesthetically pleasing.

"If you did throw a ball, the look of the hotel will surely impress them!" I try to cheer her up. Charlie looked around before turning her attention back to me. "Ah, what the hell? Let's throw a ball." She says with a shrug. "I can't let the what if's get in my way. I won't! I will throw a ball, I will invite those uptight asshole overlords, and my parents! And I'm gonna show them just how effective this hotel can and will be!" I smile at her determination.

After getting to know Charlie, I've learned that she was all but willing to give up. Especially when it came to something she really cared about. And she certainly did care about this hotel. "I hope all goes well." I tell her. "You have a good heart Charlie. I want you to succeed." Charlie smiled warmly before hugging me. "Thanks Y/n."

I hug her back, and shortly after we parted. "Alright." Charlie nods. "I have a lot of planning to do. I'll catch you later, ok?" I nod my head and waved before she hurried off. Suddenly, a pang of anxiety hit me. And it was then I realized, I had never been to a ball before. Of course I hadn't. I mean, I haven't even been to a large party before. "Uh oh." I mutter.

"Something the matter?"

Ah yes. That's something I've gotten use to. Alastor's sudden voice in my ears have became somewhat normal to me over the past few days. I sigh before speaking. "Yes."

What followed was Alastor's breathy laughter that only stopped when he suddenly appeared beside of me. "Let me guess, it's about the ball that the princess is planning? Never had much experience mingling with important figures, I take it?" He asks smugly.

"How did you guess?" I roll my eyes. "I'm kind of regretting giving her the idea now. Gosh...the overlords scare me enough. But Lucifer and Lilith being there...I think my heart's going to explode."

"Oh, try not let it. The heart is the best part, wouldn't want it to go to waste." I sent him a glare. "Very funny. Im serious."

"So am I."

I groan in annoyance before turning to face him. "I mean it. Im gonna make a fool of myself. Maybe I'll just fake being sick that day." I say with a sigh. "Nonsense! You'll do just fine." Alastor waved his hand dismissively. "Everyone at the hotel will be there, so you'll be around some familiar faces at least." He tells me. And admittedly, that did bring me some comfort.

I hadn't known these people well, but it was better than not knowing them at all. I got along pretty well with Charlie, but I am certain she'll be busy with the overlords and her parents at the ball. But surprisingly, me and Angel Dust had gotten along as well.

Despite his rather...perverted and lewd behavior, he was actually pretty decent to talk to. And, I also felt a little sorry for him. From context, his boss seemed like a rather cruel and unforgiving guy. Abusive even. Angel's line of work was already tough and dangerous enough. To have a boss like that on top of it all...It must be exhausting.

But even with the somewhat comfort of knowing they would be there wasn't quite enough to convince me. "I don't even have a dress. I can't go to such a fancy event like this." I say, gesturing to my outfit. It wasn't terrible, but it most certainly wasn't ball wear. Causal, is the best way I could describe it.

"Then perhaps you should buy one." Alastor suggests. "With what money?" I counter. "Also I don't know any shops around here to even get a dress. I really think I should just skip out on the ball. Those types of things aren't for me anyway."

"Im sure Charlie would want you there. You're the newest guest in the hotel after all. It'd be strange if you didn't show up." Alastor says with a smirk, knowing he was right. I frowned deeply. I hate that he was right. "Fine I'll go." I say, defeated. "Wonderful! Now, come along." Alastor walks ahead of me.

"Where?" I hesitate before following after. "We're getting you a dress. Not to any shops around here of course. No no, we're going to proper shop for your dress. And I know just the place!" I stop in my tracks. "I already said I didn't have any money." I try to argue.

"Consider it a gift, from me to you." Says Alastor, a hint of false kindness in his tone. I narrow my eyes. No way. He'll want something in return for sure. I cross my arms, still not moving an inch. "What's the catch?" I ask.

"No catch." Alastor says simply. "I don't believe you." I mutter. Alastor only chuckled before snapping his fingers. Before I knew it, we were in front of a store. A big, fancy, expensive looking store. "Alastor!" I snap my head up at him. "After you." Alastor says, opening the door for me. Realizing there was nothing I could do to change his mind, I sigh and walk inside.

The clothes inside of the store looked just as fancy as the store. Soft music played in the background, it being the only noise in the otherwise quiet store. "Feel free to look around." Alastor tell me. I repressed the urge to shoot him a glare before walking further into the store. I didn't even know where to begin. Well, other than finding the women's section that is. "I guess...I just find the best looking one?"

"Or. You could look for one you like?" Says Alastor. "I mean yeah but. Shouldn't it be really fancy and elegant?" I ask him. "The king of hell is going to be there." Alastor looked at the dresses in front of me, he bummed before shuffling through a few. Then he pulled out a red and black dress.

It wasn't what I was use to, but I had to admit, it was a very beautiful dress. And conveniently was backless, perfect for my wings to fit through. "What do you think of this one? Elegant enough for you?" Alastor asks. I had to tear my eyes away from the dress to look at him. "Um, yes. I think that one is fine." I tell him.

He then hands the dress to me before leading me to the fitting rooms. "Go ahead and try it on then. See if we need to make any adjustments." I nod before walking inside one of the stalls and shutting the door behind me. After changing, I turn to the full length mirror behind me.

To my surprise, I was left in awe at the sight of myself. My new form seemed to have complimented the dress wonderfully. I was actually taken back by how nice I looked. "Almost done?" I could hear Alastor call from the other side of the door.

"I am." I say before opening the door and stepping out. If I blinked, I would have missed how Alastor's brows shot up for a brief moment, before returning to normal. "My, how lovely!" He compliments. "I say it suits you quite well. But what about you? Too tight or loose in any areas?" He asks. I shake my head and look down at myself. "No, it fits pretty well. It's shocking comfortable too."

"Well then, let's check out." Alastor guides me to the register. The cashier politely greeted us, but quick to cower in fear as they noticed Alastor. They rang up the dress, eyes darting from the register to Alastor, as if waiting for him to lunge.

When I heard how much the dress was worth, my jaw nearly dropped to the floor. "Al-" I didn't get a word out before Alastor bought the dress and escorted me out of the shop. As we left, I could hear the cashier sigh in relief.

What just happened?

(I published chapter eight too cause I got hit with a wave of motivation! Chapter nine and ten are in the works!)

#alastor x reader #alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #charlie morningstar #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin hotel

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0nlythrowharrybeaux · 1 year

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#7, fluff!!!!

FRIEND, YOU'RE THE FIRST ONE! Thank you for playing 💕 Happy Monday! I hope you like it:)

You and Harry were on cloud 9. You had just married your best friend and favorite person in the world. Well, more like eloped in Italy with about 20 of your closest friends and family. They had all taken off and you two had officially started your honey moon. The day was warm as you stood out on the veranda, taking in some sunshine as you waited for your coffee to finish brewing. You weren't surprised when you felt Harry come up behind you and hug you tight.

"Morning, Mrs. Styles." his deep and raspy morning voice made your skin rise with goosebumps.

"Morning, Mr. Styles." you responded with a smile as he kissed the side of your head, "Do you feel any different after leveling up?" you asked him and he immediately started to chuckle.

"Leveling up, you said?" he asked and you giggled and nodded, "I really like that...very clever." he hummed and you turned around in his hold to face him with a smile. His smile grew as you were now face to face, just slightly leaning back so that you could fully look at him as he kept you upright.

"Thank you! I've been hanging on to that for at least 3 months!" you admitted and he laughed a bit more as you joined him.

"You're so cute, you know that?"

"You tell me every day." you smiled and he leaned down to kiss your lips gently. "H?"

"Yes, my love?" he asked you.

"I know we like, want to keep things super on the DL, but I really want to post something cute. I really love that close up Lloyd took of us right before we did the reveal. I want to post it so bad." you slightly pouted at him.

"You can. You should! " he encouraged you with a grin and you smiled.

"Really? Are you sure?"

"Positive! I'll do it too." he said and you searched his eyes.

"You don't have to." you assured him.

You knew how he was about posting private things online. You didn't want to make him feel like he had to do that just because you wanted to commemorate your wedding on your own page. You just really loved that picture and you had never, ever posted anything with him actually in it during your entire 4 years together. When he'd tour and you were at a show you'd post a video of him performing on your story or something like that, but you only posted him when he was working. Yeah, there were things on there that were about him or had his things in it or times when he might've even been right there with you, but his face wasn't on your page in any capacity and you weren't on his either. You didn't even have anything on there from when you got engaged. But this picture was perfect because it was just your mouths as you kissed his cheek right before he saw you in your wedding dress for the first time. It was such a special and tender moment that really meant a lot to you. It still kept details like your wedding dress and his own suit all for yourselves and your guests, but it was a little peek into that moment.

"Baby, you're the love of my life. My wife! I want people to know that I'm your husband or at least speculate about it. This is the best decision I ever made and our wedding was the happiest day of my life. I want to commemorate it too." he assured you and you smiled.

"I love you. You're the best, you know that?"

"So I've been told." he hummed haughtily and you grinned, "But ummm, I need to tell you something important." he said with a playful gleam in his eyes.

"OK, what is it?"

"Well it's two things... first off, I love you most. And second, if we go public that means you can't escape my love... like ever." he said with a bright smile.

"Lucky for you I agreed to that yesterday." you hummed and he chuckled as he leaned in to kiss you. Your lips met slowly but with fervor, the kiss was romantic and made you feel like it was just you two in the world. Well, it kind of was for the next 3 weeks of your honeymoon.

It was later in the day when you got around to posting the picture. Naturally, your phone was blowing up, but when you checked it again you smiled as you saw Harry's comment and how people were freaking out. He didn't even bother being cryptic...but that's why you loved him, he always wanted you to know that you were important to him.

"How's that for letting people know I'm your husband?" you heard from behind you as you smiled down at your phone and you turned around as he grinned at you.

"It's perfect." you smiled.

"Good. I love you, baby." he hummed as you hugged him tight.

"I love you." you whispered happily.

#harry styles blurb #harry styles x you #harry styles reader insert #harry styles fluff #husband!harry #picture prompts 2 #0nlythrowharrybeaux

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walesfootball · 2 years

Text

Shyness Is Nice - Mapi León x Reader

Haven't posted for a while. This fic has been written, re-written, scrapped, and annoyed me for a long time now. But I'm happy enough with it to show it to you. It's alright. Let me know what you think.

This was requested by @dying-to-live-living-to-die who wanted a shy and Swedish Reader. Mapi wants to know more about them. I took the idea and ran with it, hope it's okay.

You had accepted an offer to play at a dream team of yours. Barcelona. You’d never been to the city, let alone travelled to Spain. Your bucket list was full of things you wanted to do, but never had the courage to actually do. This was you pushing the boat out, dipping your toes into the water. It felt more like thrusting your body into the deep sea, but you knew this move would be good for you. A new city, new people, a new team, and a new culture to soak up.

You grew up in a small southern town in Sweden, Ystad. You loved it. You woke up every morning to the sound of the sea. A small house set by the harbor; your father was a fisherman while your mother was a professional handball player. The small football team in Ystad had crumbled to nothing. Every game had been lost, and every footballer in the small town had turned their craft to handball. It was natural, the sport was huge in such a small place. Your mother had tried to push you to try it, but it never appealed to you.

Your mother would drive you to the nearby city of Malmö where football was bigger. You loved it. You couldn’t get enough of the sport. Wherever you went you’d take a football with you. You’d train on your own during the week in Ystad, and train with others like you in Malmö.

You were scouted by Chelsea very early on in your career. They saw something in you that you had not cared to see before. You only wanted to play football, you didn’t think there were any professional leagues out there. Football wasn’t shown on TV in Ystad and the internet was rare. You were 18 when you got that call. Your father had pushed you to go, wanting you to make something of yourself to make your small town proud. Your mother was more reluctant to let you go, she didn’t like the thought of someone so young venturing out in a city as big as London. But you went anyway. Caught a plane from Malmö to London. It was possibly not the most clever thing you’d ever done, but it was the greatest thing you’d ever done.

You didn’t know anyone, you felt uncomfortable in a city so huge, and football seemed more like a money-grabbing machine to you now. You caved into yourself. You missed home, you missed your family, and you missed everyone knowing everything about you. But you carried on playing. You’d never get a chance like this ever again.

You earned a name for yourself. Playing in the WSL and the Champions League earned you the title of one of the best midfielders in the game. You didn’t think anything of it. You felt uncomfortable during media duties and social media escapades that Chelsea would push you to do. You didn’t have the heart to tell them you couldn’t be bothered and only wanted to play football, so you caved into yourself, even more, becoming overwhelmed with the attention.

You were called up to the Swedish National Team during the Olympics. It was such a huge stage for your first time playing for your country. You felt honoured wearing the yellow and blue kit. Your family couldn’t be there due to the Covid restrictions but would send you pictures and videos of them watching you wearing your Sweden jersey at home in Ystad. Your number 34 becoming almost legendary for the Swedish team. It was like Zlatan Ibrahimović’s number 10 or Magdalena Eriksson’s number 6. It was a big deal. Playing for Sweden made you feel at home. It revitalised your love for football again and would constantly remind you of why you started to play in the first place.

You’d won the gold medal in your first-ever international competition. You cried tears of joy as you leaned on your best friend's shoulder, Fridolina Rolfö. She knew what it was like to come from a small town and move to a big city. She’d made the move from the small town of Linköping to Munich in Germany. She felt so lost and hopeless, a bit like you. She shared your fears and anxiety, helping you through most of your troubles.

So when you had the call from your agent telling you that Barcelona was very interested in your signature, you couldn’t turn it down. You called Frido as soon as you found out, but nobody was as excited as her. You tried to share that excitement with her, but you were having doubts again.

“I really want to come to Barcelona, but I’m not good enough. I won’t fit in. And I’m not a cool person to be around, I don’t have anything interesting to say. They won’t like me and-”

“Can you just be quiet for one second?” Frido calmly yet significantly annoyed stopped you, “You are one of the best players I’ve ever seen. Not only that, but everyone in Barcelona thinks that too. You need to believe in yourself as much as I believe in you, this team believes in you, your family believes in you, and the whole town of Ystad. They will finally see one of their people make it out of there, winning things like the Champions League! You have to believe in yourself, not just for the people that love you deeply, but for your future self. You’ll regret not coming if you say no. I know you will.”

You didn’t need to think about it. Frido was right. Your whole life you had never taken risks, apart from joining Chelsea. And even then you only went because your father had basically forced you on the plane. This was your chance to get out there and beat your anxious thoughts from arising every time you wanted to try something new, but a magnet was stopping you each and every time. Whether that other magnet was stuck to your bed or just your house in general. That magnet was your comfort zone, and as much as you tried, you couldn’t escape from it. This was your time to break free from it.

“Okay, I’m packing! My flight is next week.”

“Yes! I’m so excited to see you! I’ll pick you up from the airport.” Frido squealed.

You felt the excitement leaking through the phone’s speaker.

You packed everything necessary, possibly a bit too much but you were never one for the minimalist lifestyle. Your football gear, your own clothes, your shyness, your shoes, your toiletries, your crippling anxiety, your laptop and chargers for everything, your intense fear of new things, and your passport and important documents. Everything is packed, you think.

Getting on the plane was your worst nightmare. You were flying alone, and turbulence was your worst enemy. You liked traveling with someone. Just someone to talk to and to distract you while the plane was dancing in the air.

As soon as you landed, you grabbed your carry-on and almost ran for your luggage. You’d messaged Frido to say you had landed and had received many emojis back. She had a language with emojis that never made sense to you, but you loved her anyway. You grabbed your two suitcases and walked quickly towards the double doors where you knew Frido would be waiting for you. You could see her from a mile away, towering above everyone else. She shot you a massive smile, as you ran towards her, dropping your bags as you got close enough and jumping in her arms.

“I’ve missed you so much!” You said excitedly into her shoulder.

“I’m so excited that you’re here!” Frido put you back down on the floor, “Oh, and two people wanted to come with me to meet you.”

You looked behind her to see a blonde woman with tattoos scattered over her arms and an obvious one on her throat. You’d never been mesmerised by a person like this before. Her face was carved perfectly. An old painter like Da Vinci or Michelangelo could’ve painted her. Her brown eyes bore deep into your soul as she gave you a soft smile. Not for the first time, you were lost for words. Words don’t come easily, but you lost your entire vocabulary taking in this woman before you.

“This is Mapi, and this is Sandra.” Frido must not have noticed you staring at this wonder before your eyes. Sandra definitely had, giving you a knowing smile before taking one of your bags in her arms.

“Hi.” You were so disappointed in yourself. Was that all you could say?

They chuckled, with Mapi staring at you a little longer before grabbing your other bag.

“You don’t have to do that.” You stated quietly.

“No, I want to. You must be tired from travelling.” Mapi smiled at you as the four of you began walking. Frido and Sandra led the way as you and Mapi trailed behind.

“Welcome to Barcelona. I can’t wait to play with you. You’re one of the best players I’ve ever seen.” She winked at you, and you could no longer function. Not that you were beforehand.

“Thank you. I’m excited to play with you too. Not only you, of course, everyone else. Not that I don’t think you’re good or anything, because I think you’re amazing. A really good defender in fact. And I’m happy I’m not playing against you because that would be horrible because you’re so good.” You rambled. You tried biting your tongue, but couldn’t stop. It was like the dam broke and the only thing holding it together was tape, which leaked all the way through.

“I forgot to mention that she can’t talk around pretty women.” The look of horror on your face as Frido turned around to share that piece of information had you wanting to dig a grave. Why would she say that?!

You didn’t even chance a look at Mapi. Had you, you would’ve seen her with a soft look on her face, looking at you the exact way you had been looking at her. Her smile never left her face as soon as she’d set eyes on you. Mapi loved watching you play, and would watch the Chelsea and Sweden games as often as she could, which was more than she’d like to admit. If anyone were to ask her why she was watching Chelsea and Sweden specifically, she would say she was scoping out the competition. You always looked like you had fun on the pitch, your smile never leaving your face. You played the game with ease, something Mapi hadn’t ever seen. You made difficult long passes look easy as they glided through the air straight to the feet of your teammate with accuracy. You scored goals just for fun, and assist your teammates close to every game.

Frido, of course, would talk about you to her teammates. Boasting. The Barcelona team was excited to meet their new teammate because of this. They were excited to get to know the person you were on and off the pitch.

The car journey to your new flat was daunting. You sat next to Mapi in the backseat.

“So you come from Sweden, no? Beautiful place.” Sandra had said from the front seat.

“Yes, it’s beautiful. I’m from Ystad in the south of Sweden. You should go some time.” You smiled, thinking of home.

“I love visiting the smaller towns nobody goes to. There’s more character to them.” Mapi offers.

“You would love Ystad! It’s quiet and everyone is so kind. Many people would rather go to Stockholm or Gothenburg. And I love those places too, but there’s so much more to see in such a beautiful country like Sweden.” You grinned while looking out the window, loving the look of Barcelona already.

“I would love for you to show me around sometime.”

Your head swiveled quickly over to where Mapi sat, widely smiling at your reaction. You could feel yourself malfunctioning again. You laughed awkwardly and brushed it off as if she wasn’t telling the truth. Frido smiled through the rearview mirror at the both of you. You had moved to look back out the window, while Mapi looked toward you.

——

After settling into your flat, the three girls left you to your thoughts. As you were unpacking, you thought of what you could have said. You looked around the flat, your new home. It was mainly empty; only consisting of a small fridge, kitchen appliances, a washing machine, and a bed. You’d need to use this week to make your house a home. At least you had a bed to sleep in tonight, you thought. You started making a list of all of the things you’d need to buy, all ready for tomorrow. You were exhausted from traveling, it was weird thinking you had woken up in London and would now be sleeping in Barcelona. You changed into your brother's old t-shirt and a pair of sleeping shorts and retired to bed. Everything will have to wait until the morning.

——

You had made several trips to the nearby IKEA in order to buy some decor and furniture for your home. You had only managed to build a comfortable armchair. Looking around the room you took in the several cardboard boxes full of new furniture. You weren’t good at building things. There was a new coffee table needing building on one side of the room, a clothes rack next to your bedroom, and a small dining table in the middle of the room. As you were about to fetch some water from the kitchen where your new utensils were scattered on the kitchen surface, you heard a knock on the door. You’re sure Frido said she was going on a date with her boyfriend, so you had no idea who it could be. It’s not like you knew anyone.

Opening the door, you were met with Mapi, holding a bottle of red wine in her hands.

“Hola. I thought you’d like some company after your first full day in Barcelona. And it looks like you need it.” She said as she peered in to see the mess that was in your flat.

Your shoulders dropped, happy to see her, “I didn’t realise how hard it would be to build things.”

She laughed, as you stood aside to let her in. You walked to the kitchen, trying to find wine glasses.

“How have you been so far? Is it weird living on your own, or is that a regular thing for you?” Mapi made herself at home, sitting on one of the many boxes. The sofa was delivered the next day.

“I have never lived on my own before. It’s so weird. I go to tell someone something about my day or a thought I have, but nobody’s there. I’m not the biggest fan,” You had finally found the wine glasses, bringing them into the living room, “I’m sorry, I haven’t put anything up yet.”

“Don’t worry about it. I expected an empty house when I knocked. I’m lucky that I have a cat to live with. I don’t know what I’d do without him. But I’ve moved around a little too, not as far as you have, but around Spain so I can relate.” Mapi opened the bottle of wine, pouring some into both glasses and handing you one.

“Thank you so much.”

“Not a problem. Frido mentioned you were very nervous about coming over here, so I wanted to welcome you properly.” She smiled.

“I am a little. I’m quite nervous to meet everyone tomorrow.” You took a deep breath. You had no idea how they’d take to you. Would they like you? Would they think you’re too weird? What would they think? A mass of questions flooding through your mind, clearly a panicked look on your face as Mapi reached her hand out to tap you on your thigh, she had now joined you down on the carpet where you had settled.

“Hey. We’re not that bad.” Mapi laughed a little.

“I know. Frido talks about all of you so much I feel like I know you already.” You smiled back at her, noticing her hand had remained on your thigh. Your skin had warmed up beneath her hand, a warmth you weren’t exactly accustomed to. It’s fair to say that you knew nothing about being in a relationship. You’d had your first kiss when you were 13 years old, and you didn’t want to count that as your first kiss. A boy who lived on your street, and is now a nobody to you. As you got a little bit older, you realised it was girls who made your heart race and stomach explode with butterflies. You’d never been in a relationship with a girl before… or anyone for that matter. It never bothered you as you were always busy with football to have a social life. But looking at this beautiful girl before your eyes, trying to make your first few days in Barcelona a bit more comfortable and welcoming… you couldn’t help but be enamoured.

“We’re a nice group, I can promise you that. And if there’s anything I can do to make life here in Barcelona a little easier, I’d be more than happy to do it.”

“You’ve only just met me. I could be the leader of a drugs cartel and get you to do all of my dirty work.” You took more sips of your wine, the alcohol giving you some confidence. You don’t drink often, so when you do it does seemingly go straight to your head.

“No offense, but you don’t seem the type to be into something like that.” Mapi laughed at the absurdness of your statement.

“You never know!” You threw your hands up in your defence.

“Oh, I know. I know I’ve only just met you, but I can’t see you doing something like that. You’re too beautiful.” Mapi tilted her head to the side, watching your reaction with a coy smile on her face.

Your face was burning, and it wasn’t from the amount of alcohol you were consuming every minute. How do you take a compliment? What do you say back? You weren’t used to compliments, apart from in football terms, what are you going to do?

“Pablo Escobar was a drug lord.” Yep. That’ll do it.

Mapi raised her eyebrows, her smile growing, but her eyes gave away the fact that you’d made an absolute idiot of yourself once again.

“Do you think Pablo Escobar was too beautiful to be a drugs lord or something?” Mapi giggled, as you cried on the inside. Next stage of making a fool of yourself: deflect!

“More wine?” You filled your wine glass to the brim. If you were going to make an idiot out of yourself, you’d rather not remember anything about it. Mapi nodded and offered her glass out to you, which you gladly filled.

“Do you want some help with building these things,” Mapi laid her hand down on one of the many boxes adorning the flat, “We might not get much done, but I heard that if you build things while drinking wine you get things done quicker.”

You laughed, “Wouldn’t you rather be elsewhere than helping me with this furniture?”

“No. Not really. You’re good company and I’m also very good at building things.”

Mapi had taken to build the coffee table, while you’d opted to build the clothes rail. You’d thought the clothes rail would be a little easier with alcohol in your system. After figuring out which pieces went where, your eyes wandered over to Mapi and the coffee table, which was literally all of the pieces of wood laid on the floor with a confused Mapi staring at the screws.

“Are you okay over here?” You asked as you walked over to her position.

“Yes, of course. I just can’t figure out which screws are the right screws.” She held up the two differently shaped screws to your face, pleading with you to agree with her.

“I’m not a genius, but I’d probably pick that screw because it’s the right size.” You gave her a tight-lipped smile, as she looked at you and then at the screws again.

“Yes, I was just testing you. I want you to learn from the master of building things.” Mapi grabbed one of the legs of the coffee table, while you were still staring at her, humour sparkling in your eyes. Mapi threw the leg to the floor in frustration.

“I thought you said you were good at building things?!” You laughed.

“I was before the wine! I promise!” Mapi looked at you with the frustration still leaking through her veins, but couldn’t help but laugh along with you.

“I don’t believe you.” Mapi laughed, even more, the night going on with nothing fixed but wine in your systems. You felt good around Mapi. She made you feel instantly comfortable in an environment that made you nervous the second you received a phone call from your agent to say Barcelona was interested. Having at least two friends here in Frido and Mapi made all the difference.

——

Mapi had left very early in the morning after falling asleep next to you on the carpet. Was it comfortable? Absolutely not. But it was nice to spend time with one of your teammates. You now had to meet the rest of them. The team was training today, while you had a few things to sign, meeting your new teammates and the staff, and having a day of social media duties. You were nervous at how you’d come across, but a little excited for the day ahead. Walking into the large building with the training pitch, you were amazed. This is where some of the world’s best players trained, and some of your favourite players too.

One of the Barcelona staff took you to the changing rooms to change into your new training kit and to meet the team. You walked in and the whole room went quiet. Your nerves came back, a small sweat dripping down the back of your neck. You took a deep shaky breath in as you looked around the room. The silence felt like it went on for 10 hours when in actuality it was five seconds. Alexia was the first player up to you, with a massive smile on her face and her hand reaching out to shake yours. You wiped the palm of your hand in your shorts, ridding it of sweat, before returning the handshake.

“Hola. My name is Alexia. It’s good to meet you finally.” You liked that she introduced herself like that, even if you’re pretty sure the whole world knows who she is.

“Hi.” It came out like a rushed whisper, cursing yourself inwardly, feeling like an idiot yet again. Alexia didn’t seem to mind, almost as if she was expecting that answer.

“Your locker is right there with your training kit.” Alexia pointed towards the last locker which had been set up for you: the number 26. You sat next to Emma Ramírez.

“Thank you.” Before you could sit down and get changed, it felt like a tsunami of people attacked you after Alexia left to change herself.

“I’m Patri. I’ve been so excited to meet you. You’re a very good midfielder.” Patri pulled you into a quick hug, pulling back and holding you back by your shoulders to get a proper look at you.

“Thank you so much.” You smiled back at her, you couldn’t believe one of the best midfielders in the world had said that to you.

“Hi. I’m Claudia!” The smaller girl hugged you. You didn’t realise how affectionate Spanish girls could be, with almost all of them pulling you into a hug. You were thrown from Claudia into Mariona, who then pushed you towards Laia Codina, who wanted you to meet Aitana, who called for Jana to talk to you. You hadn’t said a word other than ‘thank you' and your name. You were getting so overwhelmed with everything that you almost ran out of the room to cool down until you felt a pair of hands grab your hips and pull you back into their body. Their hands wrapped around your torso, which felt really safe to you.

“Okay, give her some breathing space. You have all season to talk to her.” It was Mapi. The relief flooded through you as you spun around to see her dressed in her training kit.

“Hi again.” You gave her a wide smile, a little too happy to see her.

“Hola. I’m sorry about the girls, they can be a little excited, especially when someone new comes in. But I told you there’s nothing to worry about.” Mapi rubbed her hands up your arms, trying to comfort your nervous state.

“It’s fair to say I wasn’t expecting that much love.” You chuckled. Mapi walked you over to your locker where she sat next to you and joked about last night while you got changed. You usually wouldn’t be comfortable getting changed next to somebody you barely even knew, but something about Mapi gave you a warm feeling.

“Mapi! Stop hogging the new girl! I want to talk to her!” Patri shouted across the dressing room, Mapi turning red as you turned to look at her giggling.

Before anyone could say anything, most of the team was out of the door and running onto the training pitch, but you were dragged away to do some media duties with the promise of joining them with the training sessions the next day.

——

You were resting at home when you realised what a good day you had. The next day you had the opportunity to actually play football, which is what you were here for. You didn’t care about anything else, other than playing football which is what you would consider your first love. No person could ever compare.

——

You were the first in the dressing room. You slept okay until around 4 o’clock in the morning, and couldn’t get back to sleep. You opened the curtains to the darkness, still looking like nighttime to you as the lampposts below on the street were still lit up, and not a soul on the street. The training facilities were open early at 5 as there is a gym connected to the facility, which you were thankful for. You got there by 5.30 and didn’t leave until 6.30. Training would start at 7 so you weren’t sure if anyone would be there yet.

Walking in you found Alexia, Irene, and Sandra getting changed. Alexia takes a double take to see you walking over to your locker.

“You’re here early?” Alexia questioned.

“I couldn’t sleep very well.” You smiled up at Alexia before sitting down on the bench and grabbing your kit.

“Excited, huh?” Irene asked, smiling at your apparent eagerness.

“Yeah… something like that.” You smiled and continued to get changed. You didn’t want to go into too much detail with them, not wanting to bother them.

Walking onto the pitch, you felt good. You took a deep breath as you looked out onto the green grass with the footballs scattered around the place. This was where you felt most comfortable and yourself. The rest of the girls came on to start their training, talking amongst each other. Mapi walked out with a frown on her face, which turned into a smile when she saw you on the pitch. She jogged up to you.

“I thought you were late, or ill.”

“That’s not how I would’ve wanted to start at Barca.” You chucked along with Mapi.

“Ready for your first training session?”

“I think so.”

“You’ll be amazing. Just play like you always do.”

And you did just that. You danced away from the defenders, slotting in goal after goal, tackling others. Sandra Panos, Alexia, and Irene were all standing on the side in awe, staring at the way you were on the pitch. The confidence oozed out of you as you ran up the wing, looking up to boot a perfect ball towards Claudia’s feet, the perfect assist to her goal. You were a machine on the pitch.

A break was called. The three veterans’ eyes followed you as you sat down quietly on your own and drank your water. They couldn’t believe the difference between the person you were on the pitch and off the pitch. They were the complete opposite person. They saw Mapi sit down beside you, soft smiles now on their lips, as they see your body leaning in towards Mapi’s. Neither of you said anything, but no one needed to. It was like the both of you were communicating through brainwaves or something.

———

A few weeks later after training, Mapi was adamant that she’d walk you home. She almost begged you at one point. It struck Mapi that she didn’t actually know a lot about you, but that you knew a lot about her. She loved your company. Something about you was enamouring to her, even after a few weeks of knowing you. But you were more of a listener and loved asking Mapi questions. Mapi loved talking so it never bothered her, but she needed to know more about you. The team was constantly asking Mapi about you, wanting to know a little more than you let on.

As the both of you were walking back to yours, Mapi had her mission objective and was adamant about completing it.

“I want to know more about you.”

“Like what? I’m an open book.” You were more than happy to share with Mapi. She’d become the closest friend you’d made since coming to Spain.

“You’re a very closed book. A book with a lock over it. And chains. And-“

“Alright! I get it. I don’t know. I just feel more comfortable keeping myself to myself. Standing back and being quiet. I’m from a small and quiet town, so I’m used to being… you know?”

“Small and quiet?”

“Yeah. Words are valuable. I’d rather speak when it matters, rather than just say something stupid. And trust me, I feel like I always say something stupid around you.”

“I don’t think you’re stupid. I think you’re amazing. And I like that you’re quiet. It doesn’t make me think any less of you. I think you’re perfect just the way you are.”

“Thank you. I’m sorry that I’m like this.”

“Don’t ever apologise. Please. I just want to know more about you. The whole team does. Because we really like you and want you to be as comfortable as possible.”

“That means a lot to me.”

“So…”

“Um… my favourite colour is green? Is that the type of facts you’re after?”

“Sure. Favourite club?”

“Arsenal.”

“Y/N! Really? You’re meant to say Barcelona.”

“But then you wouldn’t know the real me!”

Mapi started asking some quick-fire questions, even writing some of your answers down on her phone like when your birthday was and your favourite food. A keen smile never left your face the whole evening you and Mapi spoke. The more you were in Barcelona, the more that heavy weight of anxiety was lifting off your chest. And a certain tattooed blonde had a lot to do with it.

————

The next few months you and Mapi got closer and closer. She kept wanting to learn more about you. The both of you were over at each other’s houses, having dinner together, Mapi *trying* to help you build the furniture in your flat, and the both of you always sitting next to each other in meetings and team dinners. Wherever Mapi was, you were never far from her side, and vice versa. The team quickly got used to it, placing bets on when the both of you would get together.

The pre-season had finished, and you were ready for the start of the season.

Your first away game was against Atletico Madrid. You took a deep breath while looking around the stadium. A small section dedicated to the Barcelona fans where you could see them waving the flags around, holding up signs, and cheering already. You felt like you belonged somewhere; a feeling you’d never really become accustomed to before. Of course, you belonged to Ystad, your home and place of birth, but in Barcelona, you had people who shared the same love for football as you did.

Looking behind you, you saw Leila giving you a thumbs-up and a wide smile. You couldn’t help but chuckle at her positivity which always radiated off of her. Looking to your right you saw Alexia, the captain, looking straight ahead. Her gaze was the complete opposite of Leila’s. She was ready and nothing could stop her from winning this game. Casting your eyes to the player before you was Frido, your favourite person. She was in game mode like Alexia, and nothing could break her out of it. You looked behind you again to find Mapi already looking at you. When she noticed you looking back she softly smiled. She gave you a small nod as if to ask if you were okay, to which you nodded back.

You turned back around, with a similar look on your face to Alexia and Frido. You were ready for this game.

——

You ran for most of the game. Your running stats must be through the roof. You assisted Alexia’s goal in the 23rd minute and scored two goals of your own. You couldn’t believe it. Frido was the first to get to you when you scored your first away goal for Barcelona. Mapi assisted your second with a well-placed free kick. You ran back to her position where Mapi lifted you up into the air. The rest of the team made it to you, hugging you with words of praise. Mapi stayed next to you, keeping her arm around your waist. The team had left the both of you two it, with Mapi hugging you again and bringing you back into her.

“I’m so proud of you, amor.” Mapi kisses your cheek. No one had ever looked at you in a way that Mapi looks at you. She made your world spin a little bit faster. She made your love for football shift to the side a little, allowing her to take over your head. Mapi dominated your thoughts every minute of the day. No one has ever made you feel this way. It scared you, but for the first time, it excited you. Something that wasn’t football made you excited. Mapi always made you feel safe, wanted, and enough. You wanted to take her home to Sweden, and you wanted to share all of your triumphs with her.

It was the 83rd minute when things got a little messier. You were charging up the left wing when your legs were taken out from underneath you. You didn’t see who it was that tackled you. You could only grab onto your ankle which began throbbing. Frido ran to you as quick as she could.

“Are you okay? It’s your ankle? Do you think you can walk?” Frido rambled, reminding you a little bit of yourself.

“Yeah… I think I’m alright.” The pain subsided as you got up and walked on it gently. The medics not needing to come on. Raised voices were heard as the both of you turned around to see Mapi holding the Atleti player, who you could only guess had tackled you, by her collar. No one had ever seen Mapi so angry. Alexia tried to pull her away by her shoulders and Leila tried to get in between the two players. The veins coursing through Mapi’r arms were apparent with how strongly she gripped this poor girl.

“Maps! I’m okay!” You shouted towards her. Her gaze flickered over to you momentarily but shook her head.

“She could’ve hurt you badly!” She glanced at you once again and quickly back at the player. One of the Atleti players moved out of the way so you could see the player's name was Latorre. You knew she was a good midfielder and had been chasing after you all game. She clearly had gotten frustrated and took it out on you. You couldn’t blame her. It had happened to you in several games. But no teammate of yours had ever reacted this way towards the other player.

“You could’ve broken her ankle!” Mapi pushed Latorre to the floor. Alexia and Leila took the chance to grab Mapi and pull her back, pushing her toward Sandra’s goal. You looked up at Frido, asking her silently what you should do. She shook her head as the both of you watched Mapi with steam coming out of her ears and pushing Alexia away. You’d never seen her like this. What was up with her? You debated running up to her to calm her down, but with Frido’s steady arm holding your shoulder, it wasn’t something you were prepared to do.

You watch the referee blowing her whistle, trying to get Mapi’s attention. The ref’s hand was dangerously close to her back pocket. This couldn’t be happening. Mapi turned around to see a red card flung her way. Your eyes widen. Surely that wasn’t red card worthy. Alexia shook her head in disappointment, while Sandra put her head in her gloves. Mapi walked off the pitch, muttering in Spanish under her breath. You were stuck. You couldn’t move from the spot your feet had been planted in. Frido had let you go, not knowing what to do after that shocking red card. It was stupid what she had done, probably yellow card worthy, but everyone knew if they argued with this ref they’d get a booking. The ref was notorious for stupid bookings, but this was a new feat.

After the game had finished, you went around shaking the other team's hands and congratulating them on a good game. Thinking you’d finished, you began walking through the tunnel to make your way back into the dressing room. You felt a tap on your back. As you turned around you saw Latorre with a sorry smile on her face as she reached out her hand for you to shake, which you took.

“I’m so sorry for that tackle. You were too good for me to stop most times…”

“No, it’s fine. I completely understand.” You smiled back at her. Before you could carry on your walk to get changed you felt her pull you back.

“I would love to apologise properly to you. Maybe over dinner?” Latorre said bluntly. You couldn’t believe your luck. You had never been asked out on a date, and you’d been in Spain for a few months and a date is already on the table?! Unbelievable. Your mouth opened and closed a few times, not a sound coming out. She was attractive, sure, but she wasn’t blonde, she didn’t have an art gallery of tattoos adorning her body, and her name wasn’t Maria. These were deal breakers for you. You looked into her eyes and realised that you liked Mapi, probably more than Mapi will ever know. And this girl had been the final nail in the coffin for you to help you realise that.

“Or you could even come back to mine?” Latorre looked you up and down, biting her lip, winking at you. Your face cringed at her arrogance. Mapi was never like this. You still hadn’t said anything. Cursing yourself again, a body came between you and Latorre.

“Back off. She won’t be going out to dinner with you, and she definitely will not be going to your house.” It was Mapi. She had been keeping a watchful eye on you ever since she saw Latorre approaching you. She never did like Latorre.

“It’s your bodyguard, Y/L/N. You don’t answer for her, Maria. Let the girl make up her own mind. I asked her, not you.” Latorre never took her eyes off of you. You gripped onto the back of Mapi’s shirt for your safety. You hated confrontation more than anything, and the fact that they were fighting over you was even worse. You tried tugging Mapi back, a signal for her to wrap up this conversation and walk with you. She wasn’t budging. Mapi took a step forward, threatening Latorre to do something.

“She’s busy tonight.”

“You’re right. She is. With me, having dinner.” Latorre smiled again, talking through her teeth.

“Just leave her alone. If she wanted to be with you, she would’ve said ‘yes’ instantly. Now move.” Mapi pushed Latorre, which was returned.

“Mapi, leave her. She’s not worth it.” Your words were meaningless to Mapi as Latorre kept pushing her not only with her hands but with her words. Mapi punches Latorre, with the former falling to the floor. The look she gives Mapi from the floor is one of anger as she gets up quickly and rugby tackles her into the wall. You could only stand there staring at the both of them in shock. Latorre holds Mapi by the collar of her shirt, punching her back. You were shaken out of your frozen position with Mariona stepping in front of you and pushing you back, asking if you were okay and how the fight had started. Alexia and Patri were pulling Mapi back into the changing room with blood mainly streaming from her fists.

You don’t see Mapi when you walk back with Mariona. Her bag and shoes are gone. You change as quickly as you could as you raced onto the bus, looking around to find the ever-present blonde who had taken over your life. She was nowhere to be found. You shrugged down into your seat, popped your earphones in, and looked out the window. The team began coming onto the bus, the journey back to the hotel a short one. You were the last off the bus as the nerves of seeing Mapi overtook you suddenly. She must’ve been angry with you. You did nothing to help her as she fought with another, you just stood there watching it all happen. You could’ve said ‘no’ straight away instead of stuttering, but you didn’t. You felt so stupid and useless. Of course, she was angry with you. And now she’s hurt because of you.

Getting off the bus with your bag on your back, you noticed a flowerbed in front of the hotel. There were yellow flowers on the left, orange flowers in the middle, and pink ones on the left. You looked around, looking for any of the staff, as you seized your chance and grabbed a few of each colours. They wouldn’t mind, you thought.

Running up to the room you and Mapi shared, you opened the door and then knocked, not wanting to disturb Mapi if she didn’t feel like visitors.

“This is your room too… you don’t need to knock.” You heard Mapi from inside the room, weirdly you could hear a smile in her voice. You peeped your head around to see her. She was laying down on the top covers of her bed, her phone in her hand, and her eyes waiting for you to walk in.

“Sorry. I didn’t know if you’d be in the mood for people or not.”

“I’m always in the mood for you.” Mapi smiled as you blushed furiously. She sat up, never taking her eyes off of you.

“I got you these as an apology. I know that it’s literally nothing but-” You had your eyes on the flowers, not wanting to look at however Mapi was looking at you.

“What do you have to apologise for?”

“Well… everything? I should’ve done something or, better yet, said something. It’s my fault you were sent off, and it’s my fault you got into that fight, and it’s my fault you’re bleeding, and it’s my fault you’re angry…”

Mapi had gotten up as she saw the panicked look on your face, “Amor. Stop.” Her hands rested on your hips, as she leaned down to make eye contact with you, “I’m not angry. I mean… I was. But not with you. With Latorre. None of this is your fault. Maybe I could have reacted better on the pitch and with Latorre, but I can’t help myself with you. You bring something out of me.”

“But I should’ve pushed her away or something, or told her to go away, you know?”

Mapi laughed slightly, “That’s not you though. You didn’t make today an easy game for her, and she got frustrated and took you out. Asking you out after doesn’t make any sense to me, but I didn’t like how she was with you. Trying to push you to say yes. You don’t deserve to be treated like that. You deserve to be treated like a princesa.”

No one had ever looked at you the way Mapi was looking at you now. Mapi’s right hand had moved up to cup your cheek, her lips impossibly close to yours. She looked down at your soft lips, biting her own in the process.

“I don’t know about that. I’m just me.” You whispered.

“And I wouldn’t change you for the world,” Mapi whispered back.

Mapi leaned in, waiting for you to lean into her. You hadn’t had your first kiss yet, not a proper first kiss anyway. What if you were an awful kisser? What if this put Mapi off you for good? After a second of stalling, you leaned in towards Mapi. She felt the shaky breath you gently let out. She wanted you to decide what to do here, not wanting to push you to do something you didn’t want to do or weren’t ready for.

Before you could completely lean in, there was a knock on the door. You jumped back, clearing your throat, feeling a little awkward now. Mapi held your chin, forcing you to look at her. She smiled at you once the eye contact was made, and kissed your cheek before moving passed you to get to the door. You went to sit down on the bed as Mapi spoke to one of the staff at the door. Something about her red card and being suspended in the next game. Everyone knew it would happen, but you didn’t hear the rest of the conversation as your leg bounced nervously up and down, and your heart beating loudly that you’re sure Mariona and Aitana could hear it in the room next door.

You heard the door close and the bed dipping where Mapi had sat next to you. The both of you sat in silence for a few minutes.

“I’ve never…” you gulped and shook your head. You had to tell her the truth, “I’ve never done this before.”

“Never done what?” Mapi watched as your leg continued to bounce and how you were playing with your fingers continuously.

You looked to your right where Mapi was, still pulling and pinching at your fingers. You felt so embarrassed. “I’ve never been on a date before. I’ve never… you know… kissed anyone. I’m at level one, compared to whatever level you’re at.”

Mapi chuckled a little. You put your head in your hands, terrified that she thought that low of you and thought it was funny.

“I’m not laughing at that. Sorry. I just liked that you said you’re at level one. I’ve never heard anyone say it like that before.” Mapi laughed again but moved a little closer to you so your thighs were touching, “I don’t think differently of you. I’m happy you told me though.”

You looked up towards Mapi, who was still looking at you the same way she did the first day she met you at the airport. That look of wonder and affection. Mapi reached out to wipe the tears that had escaped you, cradling your cheek almost the same way she did a few minutes before, with the same care and gentleness.

“Please don’t be embarrassed. There is nothing wrong with when or if these things happen. I just want you to know that I really like you.”

“I like you too. A lot.”

“Really?” Mapi sounded almost surprised.

“Obviously.” You smiled brightly at her. “Is it okay if we go really slow though?”

“Like level zero type of slow?” Mapi laughed after the look you gave her, but held onto one of your hands and squeezed it in confirmation, “We can go as slow as you want. I’ll wait for as long as you want.” Mapi landed a kiss on your cheekbone, a pink blush following afterward, “Was that too quick? That was too quick, wasn’t it?” Mapi panicked. You laughed, Mapi smiled lovingly at you and pulled you down to the bed. The both of you lying down, looking up at the ceiling.

“Do you want to do something with me? Like, go out? Maybe for some coffee or something one day? Just me and you?”

“Are you asking me out on a date?” The smile in Mapi’s voice wasn’t to be missed.

“Was that the worst way you’ve been asked out?”

Mapi laughed loudly, turning to her left to look at you. You remained to stare at the ceiling. “It was the sweetest way someone has ever asked me out on a date. I’m going at your speed. Level zero, remember? Whatever you’re ready for, I’ll do it.”

“So that’s a yes?”

“Of course it’s a yes!”

——

The date was the best date you’d ever been on. Not that you could compare it to anything else. Mapi told you she wanted to arrange it, as it was your first one she wanted it to be special. She picked you up, took you for dinner, took you to play crazy golf, and then took you back to hers where she had set up two comfortable chairs close together with pillows and a blanket to stargaze. Mapi made you feel a way that nobody else made you feel. A warm feeling in your heart was constantly there every time Mapi walked into the room. Your eyes always found each other at a party, the not-so-subtle winks and smiles she’d give you on the pitch, and constantly gravitating towards each other wherever the both of you were.

For the first time, you had another love in your life besides football. And that was Mapi.

#mapi leon x reader #mapi leon #woso imagine #woso x reader #barca femeni #espwnt x reader

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neonscandal · 4 months

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So, fanfic ideas.... If JJK and BNHA characters were in No Power world, what would their job be if not become Jujutsu Sorcerer or Hero (in your opinion)? Why? Please pick your top 5 fav characters from each...

Ooooh la la, another fun one. High key, I love this question. If you end up writing anything, I'd love for you to PM me so I can read it (you can also share anonymously, whatever's clever)! Thanks for the ask, let me know your thoughts below 👇🏾

This is literally me perking up any time I get a new ask. 🥰

JUJUTSU KAISEN AU

Quite literally, all of these characters would be alive and thriving anywhere else.

Nobara Kugisaki - IG Model, easy. After not getting scouted in Tokyo like she'd always imagined, she decides to do it her mf'ing self. Her results... are lackluster. At first. But as frustration wins, she inadvertently starts letting the real her shine through (complete with bouts of scathing badassery during a live complaining about her lack of fame). People begin to find her incredibly relatable and she becomes like the Jennifer Lawrence of influencers. Never once do her travels take her close to Shibuya station.

Why: That "I-Know-I'm-The-Shit-Even-If-You-Don't" attitude has nothing to do with jujutsu. Nobara has an unwavering confidence and is delulu enough to make it happen, whatever It is for her.

Yuji Itadori - As a card carrying member of the occult club in high school, Yuji starts considering his prospects for higher education (Sasaki and Iguchi will continue to need someone to hide behind as they investigate the "supernatural"). Subsequently, he finally gives into coach's insistence to join a sports team provided it doesn't take time away from his club commitments and, of course, goes All Star in whatever sport he decides to take on. Subsequently, he gets a full ride + stipends to attend university as a college baseball player after chasing his passing interest in going to the "Summer Koshien". He happens to follow Kugisaki on Insta.

Why: Yuji's need to be needed would, in part, guide his steps. I think he'd want to be something cinema related, like a reviewer! But he'd always want to coddle the cowering forms of his peers even if they weren't particularly close. Sports is a means to an end, maybe he'll study cinematography or film theory in uni! But ultimately, he's still a kid who wants to help people.

Megumi Fushiguro - Sweet baby Megs has always had a penchant with animals. They find their way to him at parties, otherwise well behaved dogs pull against their leash to flock to him... even wild animals tend to be way too comfortable getting close. This charm he has over animals amuses him though he'd never admit it aloud (he's still just as sullen as ever). Subsequently, while he doesn't need the money, he helps out as a veterinarian technician while in high school and volunteers to walk dogs at the local humane society. He doesn't have social media but he occasionally gets posted with the animals on their SM pages when they have adoption events (which tend to be really well attended afterwards). He's posted exactly one video to YouTube to an account with no profile picture that urges idiots to stop giving baseballs to dogs and leaving them unattended as aggressive chewers may end up ingesting the innards which cause obstructions in their intestines. Yuji was the idiot in question that prompted the post. He did see the video.

Why: Megumi is gentle but more specifically to life forms that deserve it. I still think he'd break the face of anyone who breaks the golden rule of "don't hurt me [or anyone I love] and I won't hurt you [or anyone you love]" but that soft spot for vulnerable beings is still there.

Nanami Kento - Nanami Kento is still a salaryman but, without the outlet that being a sorcerer allowed him when he felt dispirited, he's forced to white knuckle it like the rest of us. That is, until he finds a cause that he can dedicate some of his time to. It starts when Haibara joins a community outreach program wherein he encourages Nanami to be a volunteer mentor. It starts out rather stiffly but, eventually, things kind of click together for him. He realizes the kid he's mentoring isn't a total delinquent and the kid realizes he's not being infantilized when Nanami just cares for his wellbeing. With this understanding, Nanami really feels like his impact is meaningful and he commits to taking on more responsibilities within the program both in a leadership role and in taking on more mentees. Ino was his first mentee, Yuji was his second (mandatory after being caught underage in a pachinko casino). He couldn't get rid of either of them after the fact.

Why: Nanami isn't so bored with being an office worker that jujutsu is the only alternative. He just wants to feel like his incredibly valuable time makes a difference. He needs a cause and Papamin deserves someone to look after (quite to his dismay).

Satoru Gojo - Satoru Gojo wants for not in any universe. Subsequently, he is just an eccentric rich guy who, in a very intentionally Jay Gatsby manner, frequently throws extremely lavish parties that are the talk of the town. They are as garrish as he is outlandish but men and women flock to them for a chance at getting a peak at the Gojo clan heir. In his youth, he'd gone to a small, private religious high school and still sends individual invitations to each of his old schoolmates with the hope that one of them in particular will come. Shoko attends every party with Utahime begrudgingly at her side. Nanami curtly replies with a written "decline" to every single invitation though Haibara is sometimes able to drag him out. Geto attends occasionally but he is quite blissfully unaware that these opulent parties are solely meant to captivate his attention. He's under the impression that whatever they had in high school is long gone. Nobara has, on occasion, tried to crash these parties but security usually bounces her because she's underage.

Why: In every universe, in every life, Satoru Gojo is a simp. Especially for the lone person he considers to be his equal. For all his money, for all his power, he is always left wanting [Suguru Geto].

My Hero Academia AU

Honestly, this gave me more of a hard time. Like, the kids are the same age as JJK but, they just seem... like kids. I can't tell if it's the depth of JJK's character development or their semi-obvious cursed techniques as they relates to employment but here's what I came up with.

Katsuki Bakugo - Katsuki Bakugo is effortlessly good at a lot of things in and out of the MHA universe. While he has a keen intellect fit for many professions, I think his obsessive-bordering-on-psychopathic dedication to be the strongest, the best is reminiscent of a dude bro bullying you into buying whey protein and lifting more. He would for sure be a personal trainer who would, begrudgingly, have a social media presence where he commodifies his otherwise flippant attitude and "beats people into being a less shitty version of themselves". He would also have a private, no face cooking account on tik tok for his curated but delicious meal planning. Midoriya, unknowingly, follows both online personalities. This does not escape Bakugo’s attention.

Why: Don't get me wrong, kid is will one day be the CEO of whatever company he wants (a lot of CEO's are also psychopathic) but, considering his age and current hobbies, he was born to call his followers extras while condescending to them about a proper workout and nutrition plan.

Izuku Midoriya - Izuku and his penchant for hyper informed rants about his special interest would see surprising success as a tiktoker. Bullies would always find something to pick on him for whether that be his absent dad, his socioeconomic background, his pitiful disposition… but even they’d be clued into and following along for his long form verbal essays on pop culture (only thing I could think of in lieu of hero culture, maybe sports would be better?). He’d cultivate a community of adoring fans turned friends and collaborate with other similarly obsessed fanatics. Bakugo would be hyperaware of his channel but act really passive when any of their old middle school classmates bring it up to talk about it.

Why: I feel like tiktok is absolutely the perfect environment where people can connect over their interests and, as an aficionado in whatever seems apropos for the AU, Midoriya’s innate charm over others would shine through and garner a following. Especially because we know he knows what he’s talking about. I’d be tuned in.

Shoto Todoroki - if Enji is still in the mix, he’s likely still going to be waging war against his own weakness (in whatever capacity) and, subsequently will be both insanely successful by other peoples’ standards and still incredibly toxic toward his children in this mission. Shoto will still bear the brunt of it but will temper it with willful rebellion. Oh, you want Shoto to take over the family investment portfolio? It’ll cost you. He will be somewhat mindful of his actions so people aren’t losing their livelihoods but he will be sinking tons of Enji’s personal money into stocks or company’s with unfavorable odds. A family owned cement company that was about to go under, paying to keep a radio station operable 24/7 with semi-hourly disparaging blind items about Enji Todoroki.. these are just a few of his dalliances. Shoto is an undercover day trader using his fathers slush fund as capital. He was absolutely a big part of what saved GameStop’s stock inexplicably. Turned him a pretty profit but he refuses to give Enji the satisfaction of knowing that he may have been right in steering him to stocks in the first place. Midoriya absolutely talked at length about the phenomenon that rejuvenated his favorite game store from his youth he used to frequent with an unnamed childhood friend. Bakugo saw the segment and, while secretly giddy, did not reach out. Did thank whatever invisible hand drove the nerd to mention it though.

Why: His nepo baby status will get him in to places where he actually wants to be, career wise, but Enji is still stonewalling him into his idea of Shoto’s life. Further, he would never want his unique legacy to be tainted with whatever grace his father’s name gives him. He has time and the means to figure out what he wants to do though. And access to so much therapy.

Shouta Aizawa - I honestly cannot see Aizawa as anything not expressly kid related. The care he has when he gets on their eye level to talk to them is top tier. TBH he rounds out the trifecta of mentors who unilaterally put kids above themselves with Nanami and, arguably, Gojo. If not a teacher, I’d say a loose cannon social worker. Earnestly, this man is willing to be in the shit of it if only to spare children who lack guidance, resources, proper decision making skills, etc. as a UA teacher. He wouldn’t be of the “quick to expel and dash dreams” type of loose cannon that his teacher persona allows. He’d be more like a Benson from Law & Order SVU type loose cannon where he’s probably bending some protocols to be a bit more domineering than he needs to be so adults know that any vulnerable kids under his charge are cared for because he’s super invested in his work and their wellbeing. Plus, the man can be a little deranged so he’s not afraid to make his subtle point more clear ✨ for people who don’t appear to be getting the message when it comes to his young stewards.

Why: If there is a society that unjustly does not protect children, then Shouta Aizawa will. I think my hope is that Shirakumo Oboro isn't a lesson in every universe.

Toshinori Yagi - This man is a politician. He runs on idyllic principles which are infectious across every demographic. He appears earnest and forthright and truly got into it for all the right reasons but the reality of politics is very different from the idea of them. He still thrives but feels more and more like he's failing his constituents, losing out to other politicians who are more corrupt, who curry favor from less than savory organizations to sway policies in their favor. He's disheartened but still believes in a future with peace and looks to the youth, his biggest support base, to take steps toward progress together which includes bolstering social programs. Aizawa thinks he's a bit of a sham until money starts hitting the programs that matter. Midoriya talks about Yagi's bold commitment to partnering with the youth on his channel frequently.

Why: It was this or a Gilderoy Lockhart-esque facade for a self-help book author. I see both as equally plausible. Selling a dream while falling apart internally? Same.

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that-ari-blogger · 4 months

Text

Stray Gods: The Role-Playing Musical

If I asked you to close your eyes and picture something that you have lived through, what do you picture?

Chances are, you are picturing a single moment in time, and feeling all the emotion that runs through it and connects it. Maybe it makes you smile or cry. But it's a single moment, crystalised in a wonderfully imperfect brain.

Life isn't about the great stories and sagas. Sure, that's what historians write down, but that's not what the life of a person is about. It's about falling in love, it's about a cup of coffee in the morning and a conversation with a friend, it's about crying in the rain, and it's about a moment of song and dance. Life is about the little moments, the things that you remember.

Stray Gods: The Role-Playing Musical is an epic, but it's also very much not. Stray Gods is about small choices and moments that add up. So, in this post, I'm going to be looking at some of those moments that I liked, and that some of y'all liked, and doing some analysis of what they say about the story as a whole.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD

Stray Gods is a video game. That's really important to the themes and emotions. Video games are often collaborative endeavours, the game itself often just serves to facilitate moments with the group. A perfect example of this is Ludohistory's streams with the crew from Overly Sarcastic Productions (Link).

I have played the game a few times over, with family members and friends, and on my own, and it's a lot less fun playing solo. Not that the game isn't fun to play on my own, but it felt like it was designed to be multiplayer.

The other benefit of the medium is Stray Gods' calling card. The story is interactive. You make choices and interacts with people within the game. When you convince people to give love a chance, that's your choices leading to an outcome.

One of the best examples of this happens twice. Once halfway through the first song, and then again later on in the story. You get to choose your primary character trait from Charming, Kickass, or Clever. And I think these three are interesting, because their names are misleading. Charming doesn't make you more charismatic, and clever doesn't make you more intelligent.

Instead, I read them as relating to the different driving forces. Emotion, empathy, and logic. I tried to map these on to Ethos, Pathos, and Logos, but it's not quite accurate. Pathos is emotion, Logos is logic, but Ethos is credibility, which isn't the same, but it's a neat idea. In any case, a kickass character is more likely to make rash, emotion driven choices and a clever character is more likely to step back and think, and that is reflected in the choices made available later.

@rosespark2 gave a different, more fascinating read of the concept (source).

I personally think that [the second choice of personality trait] is supposed to act in a way as Grace developing in the story. An example I could think of being maybe Charming Grace gaining Kickass trait later as her being a more open and compassionate person but seeing the injustices in the system become more glaringly obvious it starts to frustrate her and make her more aggressive.

I genuinely hadn't considered this, but it's fascinating to me. Specifically, because of how these choices influence the story. Your primary character trait lets you make slightly different choices, it affects the little moments later on down the line. For example, Clever lets you ask more questions or make different observations. Case and point, in Aphrodite's party, Grace gets asked if she knows the purpose of this event, and the clever choice is the exact opposite of another option.

You can say it's to forget, but if you're clever, you can say it is to remember. This gave me a chuckle the first time around, but on a second playthrough, it reminded me of something.

One of my favourite songs is Hotel California by the Eagles and part of the second verse goes like this:

"How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat. Some dance to remember. Some dance to forget."

A party can be for remembrance and for its antithesis at the same time. Because that's what this event is for, it's for keeping the good times and replacing the bad ones with new moments. It's a time to reminisce. And a clever Grace could work that tiny little detail out, and it could change your perspective on the entire story, a small moment having a big impact.

But as Rosespark pointed out, you get two choices of character trait, and they can act as character development. And the way that the story uses these choices works with this take. Because instead of your second choice superseding or supplanting your original, it adds to it. Because character development can mean losing parts of yourself, but it can also mean developing. Maybe you are clever and kickass, and that lets you make both clever and kickass choices.

This retroactively makes the Grace from the first half of the story feel incomplete, and that's exactly who this character is, she is young, and lost at sea, trying to find a way forwards. This is a character who needs to decide who to be, and that doesn't happen all at once, it happens gradually, in the smaller moments.

When you play a TTRPG (be it Pathfinder, or DnD, or Raccoon Sky Pirates), you usually play as a single character. And one of the fun things about those games is finding out in real time, who your character is, and it's influenced not just by your choices, but by those of your friends, and the rolls of your dice.

And characters are made in the little moments, because you cannot look at the wider story. I remember two separate occasions where characters went in completely opposite directions. One champion I made to seek out power wherever she could find it ended up being the redeemer of the group, and one alchemist I made to seek revenge ended up being a father figure. And those two characters came about not through looking at how the plot would play out, but by small decisions in the moment of play.

Stray Gods works a lot like that, and that's for one key reason. TTRPGs are reflections of life, in a way. They are spontaneous, and that's what Stray Gods seeks to achieve. It is possible to play the game with the intent of being specifically charming, but what happens when you get given a choice with no charming options. Most notably, do you side with Persephone or Apollo in Old Wounds? Character comes about in the small moments and the little choices that lead to a large outcome.

This all works for little choices within the game and within its music. The neat little instrumental association of the choices (Electric guitar for Kickass, harp for Charming, bass clarinet for Clever) is a cool choice that associates the choices with distinct moods that can really help to back up the choice as being charming or clever or whatever. And the repetition of this means that you end up associating those instruments with their choices. So, when a character other than grace starts singing with these instruments backing them up, you associate them with that character trait.

For example, Orpheus is the owner of the single coolest looking guitar ever made, and in The Throne, is preceded by this instrument. So, you immediately associate him with strong emotions, just through the music. When you finally meet him, he isn't particularly rash in action, but you are wary of him because of your intuition brought on by the guitar.

Another example of a small musical choice affecting the story is in Cast A Spell and was pointed out by @adragoncat (link):

[Asterion] might be singing a harmony, and when [Hecate] accepts his proposal, she starts singing a melody to compliment it.

It's a tiny choice in the grand scheme of things, within the entire musical, the Asterion and Hecate love story has no plot bearing. But I have gone into detail on the thematic significance in a different post.

But what I think Adraconcat is pointing out is that the music signifies the connection between the two characters. Asterion's singing is less than immaculate, and that is the point, but when Hecate joins in, she doesn't make his singing obsolete, but she adds to it. The two complement each other. Not only is Asterion's song more bearable with her addition, but his singing itself becomes a harmony as the voices intermingle and complement each other into something infinitely better than the opening fumbles.

Things don't have to be plot relevant to be remembered. You remember Cast A Spell because of the emotion you invest in the relationship, and if you don't invest, you don't remember. And there's nothing wrong with that. Memories are unique to the person. My favourite moment in the entire musical is a small line by Eros in The Ritual:

"My arrows are rusty, forget the bow"

The arrows rusted because they were metal, but forget the bow because it was wood and rotted away. (That may be obvious, but I thought it was cool). That bow, mythologically speaking, is what makes people fall in love. It gets used on Jason and Media, and it gets used on Psyche and Eros himself. Probably a mythological interpretation of the flightlines and unpredictability of love, it was a purpose for Eros, and this single line conveys a loss of purpose as time has shifted, and the song attributes that to the pain of Aphrodite.

This is especially powerful because Grace's entire journey is finding her own purpose, and she can empathise with that. If you get invested in Grace's story, there's a high likelihood you will empathise with this as well.

But the line that sums up the themes the most comes in The Trial:

"Give it time you'll find even an island drifts. You don't notice 'cause it only moves in teeny, tiny shifts."

Stray Gods is about the small moments, because Stray Gods is about choices. You make decisions, you accept the consequences. But sometimes you get so caught up in the small things and you don't understand or see what they all lead to.

You are defined by your choices, for better or worse. And sometimes you look back on yourself and don't recognise who you were or who you have become. And it's important to do so, because the moments keep coming. Even now, there is the choice to change for the better, even when all is lost, you can make a choice. And that choice will be remembered as a tiny moment that might just change your life.

Final Thoughts

This musical is phenomenal and my greatest respect to Austin Wintory for the music, David Gaider for the writing, and everyone else involved.

This is game niche, and that is a strength. It's a Greek mythology, murder mystery, musical, coming of age story, video game. But it zeroes in on its heart, that being the small moments and choices that make a life.

This game made me laugh and cry and sing along. It made me dance, and brought about some fantastic memories, and that's the best praise I can offer it.

Thank you to all those who have read my posts and fed my ego. I put out a request for y'all's opinions on this and while I admittedly overestimated how many responses to that call I would get, it was fun seeing what y'all thought and working that into the final analysis. I am eternally grateful to those who offered their thoughts. I might do it again for other series of analysis that I do.

But this isn't it for my analysis of musicals. In the new year, I plan to take a look at Wicked, so stick around if that interests you.

#rants #literary analysis #literature analysis #stray gods #character analysis #greek mythology #what's so special about...?#stray gods musical #grace x freddie #stray gods the roleplaying musical #stray gods spoilers #stray gods the musical #stray gods grace #life is lived in the little moments

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saltygilmores · 9 months

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Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls 2/16, There's The Rub, The Part Where Dean Shows Up And Ruins Everything, Part 5

Read parts 1-4 and all other episodes in my pinned post. This one may not come across as terribly funny; I felt the urge to continue with this episode but I also felt a bit off my humor game, probably because it's 8,000 fucking degrees outside. Maybe that's what's draining my funny juices. But it does contain a bonus surprise (something I've never done before), so read on. Where we last left off, we were moments away from armageddon as Dean was heading over to the Gilmore house, with his fucking pint of ice cream in a bag, ignoring Rory's wishes to be left alone because consent has never been his forte, hell bent on destroying this evening of blissful harmony being shared between Jess, Rory, and Paris. Rory has just checked the Butthead News and Weather report and learned that a Level 5 DeanStorm is bearing down on the Gilly Girls house. She immediately shifts into panic mode as she tries to evacuate everyone from the house.

I swear he is too smart for his own good. #AdmireTheBaby #ISAIDADMIREHIM

Please don't go, my love.

God, I'm ashamed to admit how long it took me to notice this was actualy a clever ploy to get Rory alone in her room. Clever baby.

I thought Jess was saying he wants to sit down and have a heart to heart talk with Rory, then I realized he actually meant Dean and that is way funnier. I love the absurd image of those two idiots working together to achieve mature conflict resolution. Totally bonkers concept. I've said it before and I'll say it again, if Dean and Jess would just fucking make out with each other there would be peace in Stars Hollow. Rory would be spared, Lindsey would be spared, Lorelai would watch her dreams of marrying Dean Forrester wither on the vine, Shane would still be alive and not murdered by Jess after the dance marathon...

Milos "tiny little ice cream package" line delivery in the following scene is so fucking adorable that I went ahead and made it into a video clip. I should start doing this more often tbh.

I don't know how Jess is always so fearless around Dean, if I were Jess I'd be pissing my fucking pants. Dean fucking terrifies me.

Shit. Is the cold fear that this fictional character instills in me on a regular basis a testament to Jared Padalecki's acting or what? I mean, I hope it's just acting. It's a little too convincing.

He is one scary motherfucker.

Poor Paris. Dean is so horrible to Rory in the next scene, like he is just getting more and more abusive towards Rory as time goes on. So you know what, I'm not even going to write about it. Fuck Dean Forrester. Paris jumps to Rory's defense and makes up an excuse to calm Dean down from his jealous rage and it works. I wish I just could give the both of them (Paris and Rory) a great big hug. Paris is a hero and her love for Rory knows no bounds.

You are not. Fuck you!

Rory, honey. No...just no. 😭

#denise rewatches gilmore girls #rory gilmore #jess mariano #milo ventimiglia #gilmore girls season 2 #theres the rub #paris geller #anti dean forester #The MESSAGES these shows were planting in our young millennial brains #Dean yells at Rory so she apologizes to him and kisses him #and promises not to spend her time with anyone else #like #I didn’t watch these kind of shows when they first aired #so this still blows my mind there was tv like this

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chatonnoir · 2 years

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hi i wanted to let you know i have been into miraculous literally since PV days but have strayed from the fandom since around season 2-3 when "salt" stuff started getting really popular. i was tired of seeing my favorites being mangled beyond recognition to fit some weird revenge fantasy, so i just stopped. recently though i missed the blorbos. its people like you who genuinely love the show and the characters that have made my more recent experiences incredibly lovely and fulfilling. thank u :]

Aw thank you honey :’) truly as someone who got a little in to ML in 2016 and enjoyed the cute fan content and saw how much fans praised it but didn't keep up with it, only to come back to it a couple of seasons later and see how insane the fandom had become over those few years .... it is truly exhausting and baffling to see what people do to the show now. Ig this is the danger of too much self-projection and a lack of critical thinking. Even people who claimed to be done with the show in season 4 continue to run blogs obsessed with """criticizing""" the show for the stupidest and most petty things possible on a daily basis, instead of just ... walking away from it if it doesn’t appeal to them anymore. It can really give you a headache.

But it all makes me think of that one quote from the end of Ratatouille (the movie which is indisputably Pixar Animation Studios' magnum opus): "the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so." ML as a show means so much to so many people of all age groups and backgrounds across the world. ML is far more meaningful and loved and contributes far more to the world than any random schmuck's salt post/fic/comic/video essay about it on the internet. ML is a sweet show! It's a cute and fun show! It's a kind show about emotions and relationships (platonic and romantic) and the power of love but isn’t designated as a Girls Show(TM), as shows with these themes often are, so boys are watching it too! And it shows us a male superhero being soft and sensitive and a hopeless romantic and in touch with his emotions without shame and a female superhero who loves him for it! Which is so important!

Similar kids cartoons when I was growing up, things like Danny Phantom, always had the romance as not an A or B or even a C plot but basically a Z plot. Literally on the back burner. An afterthought. Not something that was created out of passion and a belief that the characters would love each other and rather just thrown in because a main heterosexual relationship for the protagonist Has to be there, for some reason. Romantic moments would be limited to The Romance Episode(TM), wherein the "romantic development" is just like ... the characters accidentally held hands or kissed or something, and would often boil down to "this boy and girl are friends so OBVIOUSLY they have to like each other," without ever really showing me why they actually love each other. And don't get me started on allll the pieces of media with a forced heterosexual romance that is little more than "this male and female character have romantic and sexual tension because they're a male and female character." Or all the pieces of animated kids media where the main male character immediately likes the main female character because she's The Pretty One (As much as I love ATLA and k/ataang, even ATLA did this in the first episode). This all always felt so lacking to me as someone who was so enamored by love even as a kid.

Then comes along ML. Chat Noir didn't fall for Ladybug because he saw her and was taken with how she was Pretty. We know he thinks she's beautiful but he was completely unaffected by this fact when he first met her!!! It wasn't until he saw her stand up to evil that he fell for her! A male character falling for a female character not because Wow She Pretty but because of her bravery and cleverness and determination to stand up to evil and do good? That shouldn't be groundbreaking but it is!!! And it's beautiful!!! And Marinette didn't fall for Adrien because he was The Hot Guy or The Cool Hero or just because he's the male character and she's the female character so she just Has To. She fell for him when she saw his vulnerability and kindness!!! I would've LOVED to have grown up with a show like ML.

God the romance? I’ve never seen so much delicious Yearning in any other western kid’s cartoon. The door scene? Hoowee.... The way each of them so desperately wants the other to see both sides of them. The ending scene of Glaciator, when Ladybug is supposed to be “rejecting” Chat Noir and Chat Noir is supposed to be giving her a platonic cheek kiss, and yet it’s one of the sweetest and most utterly romantic scenes in the show. The sad undertone of Ladynoir, of being best friends but not being able to know a single thing about each other’s lives. The pure romance of the umbrella scene. The coup de foudre.

And it doesn't matter if the episode is romance-centric or not because ML has given us a male and female hero duo with so much genuine love and affection for each other that it's palpable in every episode from the very first season (especially if you’re watching in French lmao). Just... the sweet way they talk to each other, where you can hear their fondness for each other in their voices. The way they tease and roast each other. The petnames. The way they support and protect and take care of each other in and out of battles (specific moments like Ladybug looking after and reassuring Scaredy-cat Chat Noir in Reverser and Chat Noir putting Ladybug’s yo-yo over her mouth for her so she could breathe underwater in Truth make me so insane). The whole concept of “them against the world.” The way that even while loving Ladybug, Chat Noir has no problem telling her when he disagrees with her. The way they will have disagreements/conflicts that are completely in line with their established character traits and weaknesses, but aren’t able to stay mad at each other for more than a minute because of their softness for each other, and always come back from it because above all else they care about and love each other. It’s so unmatched. That’s love bitch

Speaking of how their conflicts are completely in line with their established character traits and weaknesses - the characters are incredibly deep and human and consistently written with motivations and personalities and flaws that all make so much sense! And they’ve developed so much since the start of the show! And the two protagonists mean so much to and resonate with so many people, kids and adults alike. Plenty of people have gone in to the depth of Adrien’s character and why he’s meaningful to people for paragraphs on end so I won’t repeat that, but I rarely see people talking about the beauty of Marinette’s character so I just have to point out like... A female superhero who is not a Strong Flawless Girlboss Who Needs No Man but one who is basically a female Peter Parker? A female superhero who is awkward around her crush and kind of Ridiculous and a hopeless romantic who makes stupid lovestruck faces at pictures of said crush and likes girly things and the color pink and wants to hold her boy’s hand and barely has her shit together and sometimes makes bad choices but is ultimately trying her best to balance her Great Power and Great Responsibility with her civilian life and relationships? Like, I’m not in to comics so sorry if this is inaccurate because I’m only pulling from Spider-Verse, but even Marvel’s attempt at making a girl Spider-Man through Spider-Gwen made her this cool badass with an undercut. I don’t want another Black Widow or Captain Marvel or whatever!!!! I love that ML basically gave us a female Spider-Man who is just as much of a complete disaster as Peter Parker was (talking specifically about Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield versions). I love the way both Peter and Marinette fuck up and make mistakes and bad choices and struggle to balance their two lives and accidentally end up hurting or pushing away the people who are close to them while they’re trying so hard to do what they think is right and protect the people they love with no real guidance. The loneliness of keeping their identities a secret through all that knowing that one slip up could put everyone they love in grave danger. Not to mention Marinette’s very blatant neurodivergent coding that is so clear in everything she does? Seeing her ADHD brain basically become her strength when she’s Ladybug through the bizarre connections she can make with random objects in a split second, just like how someone with ADHD would go on seemingly bizarre and random tangents mid-conversation because their brain latched on to something and quickly made a whole bunch of connections in a short amount of time while the other person was talking? Chef’s fucking kiss baby.

And I love the episodic adventures format!!!! Lots of people do!!!! The rewatch value of every episode is so good!!! Not everything has to be a 10-ep-per-season HBO drama where each 1 hour long episode is solely focused on moving the plot? People who ask for which episodes are important and which ones are “filler” that they can skip when starting ML are so weird. The fun of ML is watching all of Ladybug and Chat Noir’s fun adventures together in every episode? I love watching them just Being Ladybug and Chat Noir while they fight bad guys and have their banter. Episodes can just be Fun!!! Episodes can just exist to BE fun and silly or to explore a specific friendship or relationship rather than being focused on the main villain plot and that’s not a flaw!!!!

tl;dr: ML is a fun and cute show with very relatable, human characters and shows a beautiful, deep, powerful loving relationship between its male and female superhero leads that a lot of similar cartoons and even movies aimed at adults can’t pull off and a lot of people genuinely love this show because of it.

#answers #ml sugar #miraculous ladybug

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arysguide · 3 months

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a song a week: #8

I went to Emo Night yesterday and it dislodged a lot more teenage angst than I was prepared for. I'll be honest, I enjoy the music but it's not that nostalgic for me. I wasn't really that type of emo growing up. As a little girl I misguidedly really wished I could be scene, and I tried teasing my hair and spraying it with hairspray but it didn't accomplish anything, because I wasn't allowed to take a razor to it and give myself bangs. As a teen I was actually a lot more into Tyler the Creator, I listened to some Panic! At The Disco, then got into extreme metal, and I only really got the hype around My Chemical Romance after I graduated high school. So basically I'm a poser, but today I'm gonna talk about a song that some people consider emo:

(WOW) I Can Get Sexual Too - Say Anything (2003)

I only heard this song very recently and I've become obsessed with it. Somehow it felt instantly familiar, even though I'm certain I had never heard of it before.

This is douchebag music. In the mid-2000s it seems like acts from across the musical spectrum were trying to out-edge each-other with blatantly sexual and frankly misogynistic lyrics - but emo and pop punk bands got a particular reputation for overly whiny songs about women. At the same time it was tongue-in-cheek, sarcastic or, or, ironic, right? It's actually really funny and clever if you think about it, right? Because it's self-aware, that makes it almost kind of cute, no? For reference, see The Curse of Curves by Cute Is What We Aim For (2006), or Panic! At The Disco's Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off (2005).

It wasn't just emo - check out any of the songs 3OH!3 released around this time. (I'll admit it - watching the music video for STARSTRUKK (2008) for the first time was a life-changing experience for me.) Blink-182's influence on the pop landscape surely had a lot to do with this development, here's a really good video about that by Trash Theory. And then of course there's the kings of self-deprecating rock, Weezer (dubbed losercore down bad music by NeoPunkFM).

Of course there's nothing new under the sun, there's plenty of classic rock songs about vapid and naive young women, sometimes explicitly about underage girls or groupies, countless songs about how libidinous and reckless young men are. What sets this wave of mid-2000s pop punk apart is the nudge and wink at social commentary - now you can dance along to a song about acting like a total dirtbag and giving into your basest impulse, but it's not "real", it's a caricature and not meant to be taken seriously. Sex still sells, but these bands had something to say about it. Sort of. By 2013, multiple articles had been written on this phenomenon of 'hipster sexism' - "also known as ironic sexism or liberal sexism, 'hipster sexism' is the notion that if sexism done is tongue-in-cheek it's okay, even hilarious (Kelsey Wallace for BitchMedia)." A lot of women weren't keen on laughing along because a lot of these dudes turned out to be card-carrying misogynists. It wasn't even just the men, plenty of songs of this era are by women about… how vapid or slutty other women are. (See Paramore's Misery Business (2007), complete with calling someone a wh*re, and a music video in which Hayley Williams grabs another woman's chicken filets right out of her bra and wipes off her makeup.) There was a hateful and resentful edge to it that seems like a bastardisation of the genre's distant punk roots. Plenty of better writers than me have explored the way that celebrity and tabloid culture of this time resulted in a media landscape that was intensely objectifying and hateful towards women, full of contradictions.

Let's back this up - how is any of this related to the song this post is about? I'm trying to figure that out myself.

Being familiar with the music I mentioned above, that's what I automatically associated this with. But it actually came out before any of those, in 2003. Is it really douchebag music? Or just a song that happens to be about a douchebag?

It's so catchy, and it paints a picture, it's funny but really dark: this guy knows he's pursuing a girl he doesn't care about, because he's bored, and he's willing to lie just to get what he wants - oh brother, this guy STINKS! I love that it's explicitly about phone sex, and the line about "chatting on the interweb," it feels quaint now. I also love the irreverence of : "When she described her underwear, I forgot all the rules the rabbi taught me in the old shul." Here's a great article on the Yiddishkeit of Say Anything. In fact, the song Alive With The Glory of Love is inspired by Bemis' grandparents who survived the Holocaust.

In contrast to some of the less lyrically-inspired songs that came after it, it's a lot more about how heartless and empty the guy is, rather than making the girl the butt of the joke. In short, it's actually good satire. If you're not convinced it's meant to be self-deprecating satire, the rest of the album 'Is A Real Boy' will beat you over the head with it for 21 tracks straight. … And maybe listening to it too much is making me meaner. The track 'Admit It!' lampoons the hipster attitude mercilessly, while indicating that the singer realises he's really no better than them. Too bad the hipsters didn't get the message. Being sincere and wholesome was out of vogue for, like, the next decade. At least now, years later, we can admit we enjoy cute cats, craft beers and retro music un-ironically without making a whole production about it.

All that being said, something a lot more important has shifted in the meantime. Misogyny is decidedly uncool now, at least as far as mainstream pop is concerned. The late 2010s pop landscape seemed to be all about feminist and #girlboss moments. The 2017 #MeToo movement caused a lot of people in the entertainment industry to re-examine their role in creating an environment that is safe (or unsafe) for women. Jesse Lacey of Brand New was accused of sexual misconduct against an underage girl, which he did not deny. In light of that, Max Bemis chose to retire this song, writing on Twitter "It may speak partially of my flaws but it's mostly a sarcastic caricature of someone i've never been at all and is no longer appropriate during this crisis", "we all need to care more, respect women more, respect ourselves more and GIVE A SHIT" and finally: "On a lighter, but direly important note, i don't want to hear about not hearing that song for the FIVE BILLIONTH time this tour from us because it's not REALLY on is a real boy. it now belongs to you, official emo night. go have fun." (For the full thing see this AltPress article.)

So where does that leave us? If even Max Bemis himself disavowed this song, why am I still so compelled by music like this? Does that make me a bad feminist? Is it an internalised misogyny thing? Yeesh. I'm still not totally sure. There's something fascinating to me about the vulgar display of selfishness in this song - it feels like the ultimate taboo. Everything about the way I've dealt with sex and relationships is incredibly neurotic, so there's something cathartic about pretending to be someone without any of those hangups for 3 minutes at a time. It confronts me with my own impulses towards selfishness, and ways I've been selfish in relationships in the past. It's a cautionary tale that works both ways: a) there's something seductive about the idea of behaving so recklessly but you better be prepared for the guilt that comes with it, and b) if I was the girl in this song I would really despise this guy.

These YouTube comments express it a lot more succinctly than I have:

At this rate I'll be heading for electric chairs I'm only human with my cross to bear When she described her underwear I forgot all the rules my rabbi taught me in the old shul You're too young to be this empty girl I'll prepare you for a sick, dark world Know that you will be my downfall But I call, and I call, and I call

youtube

For a longer and more informed discussion of some of the things I mentioned: check out The Misogyny of Third Wave Emo and Pop Punk on the Podcast 'Stuff Mom Never Told You'.

#Youtube #say anything #emo #2000s emo #third wave emo #pop punk #hipster sexism #asongaweek

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mallory-x · 3 months

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Gaulcienne my beloved! What do you have cooking for them? Also super curious about the time bomb challenge one, if you want to answer that instead! Thank you!!!

I've already answered the Gaulcienne ask (here if anyone missed it), so here's the time bomb challenge wip!

So, this one is based on an actual subreddit (r/timebombchallenge) where people post clues for strangers to find everything from naked pictures of themselves to a chance to have sex. Basically Hob (u/hunter-hob) is going to end up racing another user (u/-the-magus-) to crack the clues to get the chance to enact Dream’s (u/hunted-dream) rape fantasy. It might be a bit dark for some people but it’s entirely consensual and exactly what Dream wants.

My inspo for the pics that Dream posted in his first challenge is from @awalkonthewildside who is absolutely gorgeous and my headcanon for Dream in lingerie.

Since I’ve only written 1k of initial setup with a fair bit of exposition explaining how it works, you may as well have the lot (and since it's a wip, it's still got at least one 'XXXXX' where I haven't found the right word yet):

Hob settles onto the sofa and opens his laptop, his favourite subreddit loading automatically. To most people he’s a respectable member of the local community, someone trustworthy and reliable, someone they could turn to if they felt bullied or harassed on campus, so he carefully keeps his online persona well hidden. He spends a lot of his time outside his studies on various kink forums, most of them dealing with real-world consequences that most kinksters would shy away from.

One of his favourites is on his screen right now. The subreddit r/timebombchallenge, where users risk having their naked photos and explicit videos found by hunters like Hob, either physical flash drives to be located after a real world treasure hunt, or an online drive to be unlocked if the hunter can unravel a series of clues. Or, for those who need even more risky behaviours – some users promise to submit to a physical punishment for losing the challenge.

Hob’s eyes light up when he recognises the username at the top of the screen. He knows exactly what user u/hunted-dream looks like, can still picture the slow, sensual striptease he’d unlocked from his first time bomb challenge. u/hunted-dream had slipped open a black chiffon robe, revealing smooth, pale, unblemished skin, decorated with delicate jade green lingerie and elegant stockings. He’d stroked long, clever fingers over himself, teasing at the edges of the barely-there garments, before turning and snapping the garter straps against his lean arse. There had been more photographs too, all artfully shot, as u/hunted-dream bent and stretched and posed, teasing Hob with his lithe body and XXXXX bendiness. One of Hob’s favourites had been a frontal shot, revealing u/hunted-dream’s soft cock and hairless balls encased in a lace bodysuit. The man was clearly intelligent too – one of the most challenging puzzles Hob had seen on the subreddit yet, and one that had actually had him having to research online to complete at least one of them.

Hob scans the title on the latest post - [27M] [Red] [Hybrid] (online/mobile/ticket)

The title is unusual. Age and gender, obviously. Red means that this time, real, actual, life-ruining information is up for grabs. Full-on blackmail material, the kind that could destroy careers and relationships. u/hunted-dream is definitely escalating since his previous sharing of ‘green’ rated tasteful nudes and arty videos. The part that most catches Hob’s attention though, is the categorisation of the type of hunt on offer. ‘Online’ was usually just a series of shortened weblinks to decipher, resulting in a link to a private photo cache to download. ‘Mobile’ meant that it was a physical hunt, with a flash drive of pictures and information being carried around on the user’s person. In this case, Hob guesses that he’ll have to follow online clues to work out u/hunted-dream’s physical location to challenge him for the drive. The part that has him leaning forward in anticipation though, is the word ‘ticket’. That’s where things are going to get really interesting. A ticket was a different kind of reward. An extra level of control that the hunter can win. Most likely, it’s going to be an offer of sex. Hob clicks the post and reads on.

Hello, r/timebombchallenge.

I hope you enjoyed my first challenge. Only two of you made it through my maze of puzzles – I wonder if more of you will make it if the stakes are somewhat higher?

This time, as well as the online clues, you’ll need to come and find me, if you can. Once you’ve caught me, you get to claim your prize. For most of you, that would be the flash drive containing my ID, my employment details, and my family’s contact information, as well as a series of explicit videos showing my full face as well as using a series of toys that will leave no one in doubt of my proclivities. For some of you, those braver and more honest about your desires than the rest – maybe you’ll get to make your dreams come true.

The rest of the message… the rest of the message is in Greek. Because of course it is! Of course this fucker who’d had him researching Latin poetry to access photos that barely counted as soft-core porn expects him to be able to read Greek for this next challenge. Hob grins and shakes his head as he copies and pastes the rest of the text into Google Translate. He has the whole weekend free, and he’s more than willing to travel if it means getting his hands on that cocktease of a twink. He hits enter on the webpage, only to find that apparently u/hunted-dream has posted half a page of absolute gibberish.

Can’t be that easy, can it Hobsie?, he asks himself as he pastes the text into another document. If he’s honest, the pictures are only half of the appeal of this particular user. He’s always been attracted to intelligence and humour over just looks, and that this guy shares his kinks as well? This is the most fun Hob’s had in ages. u/hunted-dream is an arrogant brat by the tone of his messages across the whole of reddit, and Hob’s just itching to truly put him in his place.

o0O0o

Three hours later and Hob’s only cracked the first two parts of the code. The Greek text had turned out to be transliterated Latin, a section from Ovid’s Metamorphoses of all things. Hob’s Latin is rusty, but once he knew what he was looking at he’d managed to get the first weblink, which teased him with another arty nude photograph and this time, a series of numbers. Hob had groaned at that – as a PhD candidate in early modern history, he was at least familiar with Ovid who’d still been influential at that time, but anything with numbers or a hint of mathematics always threatened to bring him out in hives. Fortunately, it wasn’t a mathematical code but a cipher hiding a passage from Shakespeare’s Titus Andronicus.

#wip ask game #nsft #cw rape fantasy #cw rape #dreamling #dream of the endless #morpheus #hob gadling #the sandman #mallory's miscellany

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thepastisalreadywritten · 15 days

Text

(CNN) — Ever since her 2020 birth, Fu Bao has been one of South Korea’s biggest celebrities, with fans eagerly following every milestone of her life at Everland Resort’s Panda World, a theme park in Yongin city.

But the country’s most famous and beloved giant panda is set to bid South Korea a final farewell in April, with preparations now underway for her journey to her new home in China.

During the last week of Fu Bao’s public viewing earlier this month, visitors reportedly endured wait times of 5-6 hours just to catch a glimpse of the celebrity bear for a mere five minutes, as the park restricted viewing times to manage the influx of visitors, according to park officials.

On Fu Bao’s last day of public viewing on March 3, she received farewell gifts, including a panda family doll crafted from bamboo, a bouquet of flowers and heart-shaped pieces of bread from her dedicated keepers at Everland.

Fu Bao fandom

Born to parents Ai Bao and Le Bao in July 2020 as part of China’s “panda diplomacy” program, Fu Bao is South Korea’s first naturally-bred panda.

In the days following her birth, Everland’s social media channels offered fans a steady diet of Fu Bao videos, with its YouTube channel pulling in more than 1.2 million subscribers and, as of February, surpassing 500 million cumulative views, according to the park.

A two-hour video chronicling Fu Bao’s journey from birth to childhood added to the Everland YouTube channel eight months ago has garnered 1.6 million views.

The most recent videos on the channel are now filled with warm and heartfelt messages from viewers, including the beloved cub’s self-proclaimed “online aunties.”

“Fu Bao, you’re a happy treasure that came to us like a miracle during the difficult Covid pandemic,” reads one Youtube comment.

“Your aunties have been so happy to have known you and you made me smile so much. You’re a clever one so I’m so sure you’ll do well in a new environment!”

Another commented that they “can’t believe how time passes so quickly and that we have to let Fu Bao go. I’m so sad to let her go … I support our Fu and love you. Every moment knowing you has been a great joy with laughter. Thank you.”

Thanks to Fu Bao’s widespread popularity, her dedicated zookeeper has also found himself in the spotlight, becoming a bit of a social media star himself.

Often referred to as her grandpa, Kang Chul-won offered his own farewell message for Fu Bao, noting that the Korean people’s special love for her all began with social media videos shared during the Covid pandemic when the zoo was closed.

“She brought help and happiness to a society in many ways that was having a difficult time due to the coronavirus,” Kang said in a video posted to YouTube.

During remarks to the press earlier this month, he said people visited the social media sites every day, so it felt like he was “raising her together with them.”

“Of course there are aspects of her cuteness and playfulness, but they cared so much for her and they shared the same emotions of raising a cub together during such difficult times,” Kang said.

Kang Chul-won and Fu Bao

Though one could argue it’s impossible to identify a single social media moment that catapulted Fu Bao to stardom, there are a couple of standout videos that have been particularly popular with viewers.

In one video, Fu Bao clings tightly to Kang’s leg, unwilling to let go, as he spins gently around the room.

After many attempts to uncoil her strong arms, he finally separates himself from her.

The other short video shows Fu Bao clinging to Kang’s arm while relaxing on a wooden bench.

As the zookeeper gently pushes her arm so he can take his phone out of his pocket, the panda links her arms tightly around his left arm.

After he motions to show something on the phone to her, she rolls onto her back.

In an announcement from Everland, the company says Fu Bao will be transferred to the China Conservation and Research Center for the Giant Panda in Sichuan Province in early April.

Everland said that it will keep her in a separate space at Everland Panda World for a month to prepare her to adjust to her new environment before her overseas transfer, which will be carried out in accordance with international regulations.

According to the agreement between Samsung C&T, the parent company of Everland, and the China Wildlife Conservation Association, mature pandas must be returned to China before they turn four years old.

Once Fu Bao departs for China, there will be four giant pandas left at Everland – Fu Bao’s mother Ai Bao, father Le Bao, and their twin babies Rui Bao and Hui Bao, who were born in July 2023.

Source: CNN Travel

youtube

Baby panda 'FuBao' glued to the zookeeper dragging her around | Everland Panda World

16 December 2020

🖤🐼🖤

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peterparkersnose · 2 years

Text

Corrupt pt. 2

word count: 3.9k

warnings: age gap, crying, comforting, angst, lying, manipulation, gaslighting, anxiety attack, swearing, mentions of alcoholism, sexual references, stalking, guilt, violence, attacking, mentions of grime, riddler shenanigans, exposure, nudity, general non logical thinking (riddler has to pin down y/n, can be offensive to some. just a warning i forgot).

a/n woah longest fic i’ve ever written. i hope you guys like it, it might have gotten a little choppy at the end but i love it so so much (i know the gif doesnt have anything to do with the story but my god he looks so fine there)

summary part 2 to corrupt. Y/N discovers that Edward is the Riddler and her father’s corruption.

masterlist

join the tag list

read time: 14 mins 25 seconds

Part 1

Three days went by. No word from Y/N. Edward scoured your Instagram for anything. Story posts with you drunkenly singing along to music with your friends. Photos from the party, you and Hazel. You and other socialite friends. You and Bruce.

He understood now why you had gotten Bruce Wayne out of his reclusive shell. Your personality was golden. You were so kind, so amazing. How could Bruce resist?

It still angered him. Even though he felt perverted when he admitted it, he wanted to be with you. The softness of your hand the other night drove him crazy.

He kept his phone on a constant charge, with the ringer set up to the highest setting.

It was a Tuesday afternoon when he heard his phone go off. Edward was busy making a plan for his next contraption. He leaped out of his chair, knocking his glasses off his nose. He quickly scrambled over to the phone, but was disappointed to find out it wasn’t you.

He only had his phone set for two notifications though. You and…

Oh, sweet sweet revenge. The files have dropped.

He sprinted to his computer, struggling to put his password in. Once he entered for forum, he squealed in delight from all of the information. Senators, Representatives, and oh, the Mayor? He was in bliss. All the worst of the worst and their faults.

He searched through them, searching for the last name L/N. And that is what he found.

Kellan L/N’s Folder.

Pay offs, deals with mafia leaders, all the boring common things he didn’t find as interesting. Well, he did find them interesting. He just knew there was more. There had to be.

He clicked on the file called ‘Kat Calls’. Ed laughed at the clever play of words. Recordings of phone calls with a mysterious women containing explicit material. Better, but Ed knew there had to be more. He scrolled more down in the file, finding the gold.

The women going by ‘Kat’ released the affair documents. Car paperwork signed by L/N, given to Kat. Videos of them being intimate. Photos of them together at a club. Pregnancy photos- wait what. Pregnancy photos?

Edward’s eyes almost popped out of his head. From his Riddler standpoint, he would be overjoyed. But from his standpoint, he knew you would be devastated.

Seeing your close relationship with your mother, he figured you would be broken finding out about this.

Edward clicked more files, releasing the subpoena of the paternity test, the text messages between Kat and Kellan, and pregnancy month updates of her bump. Kellan L/N’s new child.

He slammed his computer shut, yelling in frustration. He then opened it again, going on his livestream. He needed to get some of this off his chest in a safe way.

It wasn’t until that night when you texted him. You seemed distressed.

Unknown Number: is this Edward?

He jumped up and grabbed his phone.

Edward: Yes, who is this?

Playing dumb. Good call.

Y/N: Y/N, we met at the diner?

Edward: Oh, yes! How are you?

Y/N: Can I come over? To talk. I need some realness in my life right now

Edward was shocked at your boldness. He figured some things about her father were leaked to the news. He had ignored the news stations all day, he had been scrolling through the other politician’s faults and didn’t want to hear the sugarcoated bullshit that was leaked to the press just yet.

Edward: That would be okay. Do you need an address?

This was the night it would all go down.

When you arrived, you were in emotional distress. You tried to hide it, but he could notice it.

Edward had made sure to close off his Riddler room and lock it. He also hid away any other evidence he had laying around. It was his routine if the cops ever came looking for him. Easy practice.

You were a bit disgusted by his apartment building. It wasn’t a great one. The foundation was cracking. His neighbors were, questionable. Mostly dropheads and drop dealers. Only few such as Edward were just genuinely poor and couldn’t afford (or be bothered) to move anywhere else

The apartment building didn’t have an elevator. Ed lived on the fifth floor. A rat ran across your shoes on the way up. You wanted more than anything to get this man out of this building. But that would be overstepping, right?

“Are you alright?” Edward asked, taking your coat. You sighed, trying to keep your tears in. You gave a slight ‘mhm’ and sat on his couch.

“Would you like something to drink?” he offered. You knew he was trying to be comforting and you felt bad refusing his kindness.

You stared at your knees, trying to keep the tears in. You felt like you could burst at any sudden time.

Edward crouched down in front of you. He placed a hand on yours, attempting to make some eye contact. He saw the tears forming in your eyes.

“Hey hey hey,” he said, reaching into your falling embrace as you began to cry. He held you tight, cradling a hand behind your head. His thumb rubbed the side of your head, comfortably stroking your hair. Ed was trying. “I-I-I can’t b-believe him!” you sobbed, shaking back and forth.

Edward moved back. He moved your fallen hair behind your ears, and wiped a bit of mascara off your cheek. “What happened?” he asked, pushing up his glasses on his nose.

Play dumb.

“M-my father. He did some bad things.”

“We don’t have to talk about it-” “Didn’t you see it on the news?”

Play dumb.

Edward gave you a confused look and slowly shook his head. “I don’t know what your talking about,” he whispered.

“My father is Kellan L/N,” you spat out. “Oh,” he responded, trying to make his reaction genuine.

“I-I was told by Br-, a friend, that he has done some bad things.” you sobbed. His heart sank when he knew Bruce told you. Of course he knew. He was the Prince of the city.

“I’m sorry,” he sighed, placing both hands on your knees. “Is there anything I can do?” Edward asked, looking up with kind eyes. You managed a small smile. “Your perfect,” you managed to say, not crying. Edward smiled back a slight smile.

He found blankets in his storage chest and placed them around you. Your anxiety had made you start to shake. He noticed the signs after living through them and witnessing them at the orphanage so many years ago. He sat there quietly, holding you at your request on his couch. Your breathe had just stopped shuttering when your phone rang.

“Shit,” you muttered, staring at the screen. A picture of your oldest brother lit up on the phone. Edward sat silent as you picked up.

“Yeah I fucking heard!” you screamed. Edward was taken aback at the sudden anger. “Bruce! Yeah, Bruce told me! John, just- no! You shut up! Are you with mom? Why does it matter where I am? I’m safe, I’m with a friend. What about mom? Y-your kidding me she’s on a fucking bender? Again?”

The tears began flowing once again. Your hand began to shake, and you dropped your phone on the couch. You bent over again onto Edward’s lap, sobbing. Edward could hear your brother yelling from the small speaker. He reached over and hung up your phone. He shushed you, not really sure of what to do. A beautiful woman was crying a little too close to his crotch.

He tried to distract you. Telling you stories of his past life, some more of the positive ones. The time when a dog wandered into the orphanage and everyone collectively kept it as a pet. He left out the part where it was eventually taken by animal control, killing the rest of the children’s spirit that wasn’t already gone. When he tried ice cream for the first time at eleven. Christmastime and the small gifts he used to get. His college scholarship, his way out of his old life. You listened, trying to imagine anything but the horrors of your current life. Once you were asleep, he left you.

You were so peaceful when you slept. Your eyes would so often flutter, he figured you were dreaming. Watching your breathe slowly move up and down. Your hand hanging off his couch with your perfect manicure. The tiny snores every once and a while.

Eventually he found himself asleep on his chair, curled up. Six am, his alarm went off.

Unfazed by the exasperating noise screeching from his bedroom, you still slept. It was a Wednesday morning. Edward had to go to work. He got up and actually showered. He never showered in the morning, but he didn’t get the chance too last night. He hoped the noise of the creaky shower would wake you up. Not a chance. He observed you were a heavy sleeper. Something he could never have mastered himself, growing up in a constant state of fear.

Work clothes. Button down shirt, khaki pants, dress shoes. Edward combed his hair flat like usual. Cleaned off his glasses, grabbed his work case and his wallet. Still, you slept. He sighed, hating to be the one who had to do this. He walked over to you and slightly tapped you on your shoulder. Nothing.

“Hellooo?” he whispered. You snorted a tiny bit, moving over on the couch. “Y/N?” he asked, shaking your shoulder. You shot up on the couch, nearly missing his head. “Scared the shit out of me Ed!” you scolded him. Taken back by your tone, he apologized profusely. “I-I didn’t mean to I just had to go to work and-”

“Shit,” you muttered, grabbing his flailing hands. “I’m really sorry sometimes I can be a lot in the morning,” you said sweetly, calming his hands into a stop in yours. “It’s okay,” you said. Edward swallowed hard. “I-I have to go to work.” he whimpered, checking his watch. His big doe eyes looked regretful. “Your welcome to stay- if you would like. Just please lock the door behind you if you leave. I can’t stress that enough, so many people here are just-” “I really should be going,” you cut off his rambling. “Are you sure? Do you have anywhere safe to go?” he asked, grabbing his keys off a hook by his door. “No,” you half laughed, staring up at him with your hand on your head. “Do you have any ibuprofen? My head is killing me,” you yawned. “Y-yeah, let me just-”

He opened his kitchen cabinet, swiping the rat poison to the back as he grabbed the container of relief pills from the back. Handing you a water bottle and the pills, he was itching to leave. He wanted to stay but he was already late. So late that when he left, he forgot to mention the most important thing.

Don’t go in the back room.

***

When you were fully awake, you noticed how dirty his apartment was. Dishes undone, dusty window ledges, dirt spots on the floor. You searched his kitchen for some type of cleaning supplies and was surprised to find some. They looked dated and like they could have been from ten years ago, but it worked. You cleaned and cleaned the whole day, trying to make the place the cleanest its been in years. Once you were finished with the kitchen and living room you were filthy.

Your shirt was covered in cleaning supplies and grime. You contemplated going home and changing, but you knew one of your brothers or a representative for the family or even worse, reporters would be waiting for you.

Ed had to have a shirt you could borrow, right? He is such a kind man, he wouldn’t be angry if you borrowed one for the time being while yours was washing, right?

The door handle to Edward’s bedroom was stiff, but the second you put force on the old door it creaked open. His bedroom was normal. The sheets were a bit disheveled and there was a pile of dirty clothes in the corner, but that was normal. The floor creaked as you walked over to his closet. With a little push, the old panels creaked open similar to his door.

And that was when you found it.

The seemingly secret room crammed into his closet. The wall was backed out into another space, maybe an empty apartment next door. It stopped at a certain length, but the room was spacious.

You first noticed the wall. Newspaper clippings, tabloid pictures of Batman, old election propaganda, pictures of politicians with their eyes crossed and cut out. Associates of your father’s, wait- your father?

You ran your hand over the newspaper clipping about his re-election three years ago. You could see yourself in the background of the picture.

He knew.

You felt the adrenaline course through your body. You had to get the fuck out of there. You ran out of his closet, and attempted to get back to the kitchen when you tripped on his lamp cord.

Thud, bump. Broken lightbulb on the floor. And to your luck, Edward was already home.

“Y/N?” you heard him yell, rushing into his bedroom. Edward was panicking. You were in his bedroom. Didn’t he tell you- oh.

How could I be so stupid? He cursed himself.

His bedroom door busted open, finding you on the floor next to a broken lamp. He looked up to see his closet door open.

“Fuck,”

You jumped up from the floor and grabbed him, throwing him on the bed. For your size, he was surprised you were that strong. But you weren't as smart.

His small figure made him able to slither out from below you and grab your waist, pinning you to the bed. You yelled for help. Edward could almost hear his heart breaking. He got on top of your writhing body, pinning your flailing hands above your head.

“Stop. Stop fucking yelling!” he hissed at you, making you want to fight more. “Don’t make me do this, please Y/N. I don’t want to hurt you,”

He had no choice. You were almost out of his grips. If you were to escape, his scheme would be up. He grabbed his paperweight off of his nearby desk and decked you in the head with it.

***

“Fuck! Please, please wake up!” Edward yelled, shaking your shoulders. He came into your view blurry, multiple visions of him swirling around the room. “Hey, hey!” he yelled, picking your slumped head up.

“Wh-what did you do?” you slurred, trying to move your limbs. That is when you noticed you were tied to a chair. “Please don’t be mad,” he begged, sitting on his knees in front of you. You recognized the room you were in.

His Riddler lair.

“Your him?” you asked, referring to the mask sitting on a nearby desk. He let out a sigh. “Your the one who has been killing all these people?” you yelled, regaining most of your consciousness now.

“No, no Y/N. These are not people.” he laughed. “Corrupt, evil, malicious politicians. Poising Gotham with their greed.”

You scoffed, turning your head away. That is when you noticed the dry blood on the side of your cheek. “You hit me?” you asked, looking up at him in disbelief. “I had to. I feel horrible. God, I could have killed myself over the sight,” he said manically, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“Look at the wall,” he said. You closed your eyes shut. “Look! Now!”

He grabbed your throbbing head and forced it forward.

The wall was covered with the propaganda like you saw before. You noticed a section with pictures of Bruce. You recognized some pictures that were stolen off your instagram. Your father had a small section, along with pictures of your brothers.

“You knew who I was,” you said, choking up. “I did. But I didn’t seek you out. Fate brought us together Y/N.” Edward said.

“Fate isn’t real,” you yelled, sobbing. “Then why are you sitting here?” Edward yelled back.

Your sobs made him upset. This was not how this was supposed to go.

Edward brought you water. “Please, drink.” he begged, bringing the bottle up to your lip. You took it cautiously, being prepared to black out again. But that wasn’t the case. “I really don’t want to hurt you. Just- listen.” he said, flinching at the sight of your wound.

He brought his desk chair in front of you along with a file.

“What do you know of a woman named Kat?”

You shook your head. “I don’t know anyone named Kat.” you sighed. You writhed in your restraints. “Can you make these looser?” you begged, tears mixing with the blood and sweat on your cheeks. Edward nodded, loosening the handcuffs just enough.

“Why do you ask?” you asked suspiciously. He opened the file and waved a picture of a pregnant woman in front of your face. “Never seen her in my life,”

He knew you weren’t lying. No, you were too perfect. You could never lie like your dirty father.

“What do you know about your father?” he asked calmly. “He’s dirty. A bad politician. Taking business deals from the mafia, dealing with some dirty people. He’s a problem in this city. I always thought he was good. He always seemed good. He always was…” you trailed off. “It’s why I came here,” you sighed. Edward wiped a fallen tear off your face. “Your not bad, your not evil.” he assured you. “I hate seeing you cuffed.” he sighed, his eyes looking tired.

He re-focused on the document.

“Your gonna be a big sister,” he chuckled, showing you pictures of your father with this woman. Kissing at a party, walking together holding hands.

This is the big thing your brother wouldn’t tell you.

You completely broke down crying, yelling. Edward hugged you as you cried into his shirt.

“Please Ed, let me go. I won’t run, I promise.” you begged. His heart sank. “I have no where else to go. Everything- everything is gone.” you begged. He had to trust you. The key made a sharp noise unlocking the handcuffs. He cut the rope tying you to the chair. You fell forward into his arms.

“I didn’t want you getting hurt even more. By the media. By your family. By Bruce Wayne.”

“What about Bruce?” you asked, sitting down on his bed. He sat next to you, tending to your wound. “You don’t think he knew all of this? About the woman? The affair? The baby?”

Your heart sank. “He told me about the corruption there’s no way he could have-” “No, no my sweet Y/N. He knew before the media did. Every single person on the forum got this before the media did. He knew,”

Edward stroked your hair, trying to get the blood out of it. “You’ll need a shower,” he sighed, placing the paper towels next to him. He gave you a few towels and lead you to the bathroom. You were still a bit wobbly. He sat outside his bathroom, listening to make sure you didn’t fall.

Good thing he was listening, because you did fall.

The shower seemed to temporarily wash away the problems that have occurred in the last few hours. How could Bruce not tell you? How could your father do this? Did your brother’s know? Your no longer the baby of the family. You were showering in the Riddler’s shower?

Your vision began to blur in this cycle of anxiety, and the blood loss didn’t help.

Edward cautiously opened the door, his glasses fogging up. “A-are you okay?” he asked, looking at the floor. “Fuck- uh,” you said, trying to get up. You kept slipping in the oddly shaped tub. It had to be over thirty years old. “Help,” you asked. “Are you sure?” he asked, cautiously moving closer to the curtain. He heard you scramble around, your limbs scraping against the wet tub. “It’s okay,” you assured him. He wiped his glasses and opened the shower, gluing his eyes shut. He outstretched his arms, feeling the warm shower water hit them. “Hold on,” he said, grabbing the side of your naked body and pulling you up into a more comfortable position. He shut off the water with one hand, and guided you out with the other. He caught a glimpse of you, his vision heading straight to his dick.

He handed you the towel from the rack and started to leave. You grabbed his arm, looking him in the eyes. “Thank you,” you smiled, tying the towel around yourself.

He was shocked you didn’t hate him.

He gave you a small smile back, and tried to leave again. This time you pulled his arm in, moving him close to you. The two of you stared at each other for a moment, feeling the gap naturally close.

You kissed him. For what? He saved you. You didn’t understand the logic. You should have been fighting to leave. He didn’t hurt you. He saved you from lots of hurting. He showed you the real lie that you had been living your whole life. He was your savior. And that is why you kissed the Riddler.

Silence sat between you two. You hated the tension. After you had kissed him, he couldn’t make eye contact with you. Did you read this all wrong? How could he be interested in you. He was older than you. Almost ten years, in fact. He was poorer than you. He hated the rich. He had every reason to kill you and hide you where nobody could find you. But he didn’t.

You sat on his bed wearing one of his shirts and a pair of his sweatpants. He sat behind you, combing your hair for you as you stared at a crack on his wall.

“The kiss was nice,” he managed to squeak out. You smiled. “I was worried you didn’t like it,” “Would I be sitting here, braiding your hair and being with you if I didn’t?” he asked. “No, I guess not.”

Silence again.

“What are you going to do? With the information.” you asked him. “Whatever you want me to do.” he said, finishing the braid. He moved up and laid beside you. You sat and thought for a moment.

“Release it.” you sighed.

Edward furrowed his eyebrows. “I thought you would want me to burn it,” he asked. “No. Fuck him. Fuck that whole family of mine.” you sighed, laying down now and facing him. He loved when you said that. He could feel the same rage in you as he felt in himself. Your wet hair dripped on his pillow. “We can leave, get out of the city. We have a nice place upstate it can be…”

But you forgot.

He’s the Riddler. The Riddler who has been killing. Number one enemy of the Gotham police at the moment.

“I’m satisfied,” Edward said. “With what?” you asked. “I’ll leak it. All. Then I’m done. My work here is done.” he smiled. “You’ll give it up?” you asked him, meeting his doe eyes once again. He nodded his head and placed his lips to your forehead. “I’m done. Anything for you.”

“You are the only real person I’ve ever known, Edward Nashton.” you smiled, moving into his warm embrace. “You're perfect.” you whispered into his chest.

He had already the grand finale planned. Instead of enjoying it in Arkham, he could enjoy it from the news in a comfy upstate home. Away from consequence, really happy for the first time ever in his life.

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