#Patrick Zala

[nicolamalfi]

[slpytired]

Watching the whole Gundam series in 2023 #12: Mobile Suit Gundam SEED Review

Mobile Suit Gundam SEED was directed by Mitsuo Fukuda and ran for 50 episodes from October 5, 2002 to September 27, 2003. Set in the Cosmic Era year 71, the plot follows Kira Yamato and the crew of the Archangel battleship as they navigate the war between the Coordinators of the PLANT space colonies and the Naturals of Earth.

SEED was one of the most highly-acclaimed series that many recommended me to watch, the other being Wing. I had heard that it was meant to be a modernisation of the original MSG, with many 21st Century sensibilities and influences present throughout.

Throughout the series, there is a prevalent struggle between the Naturals and Coordinators. There is hate on both sides, with Naturals lashing out at Coordinators out of fear and misunderstanding, and the Coordinators attacking Naturals out of a sense of superiority. This animosity is never really dispelled throughout the series, and is the driving force behind the conflict in the series as a whole. I thought it was an interesting way to depict what is essentially a racial war. The presence of extremists like Blue Cosmos and Patrick Zala fans the flames of war, even when the common soldiers and citizens on both sides want to de-escalate and find peace. Just as in real life, although the people may be flawed and lack understanding of each other, they desire peace above all. It is the vocal minority that pushes the world into war and causes loss of life on a mass scale, shown by the superweapons both sides of the war try to use on each other at the end of the series. In the end, Kira and his friends manage to stop the war and bring peace to the Earth Sphere.

I also found the interpersonal relationships in SEED to be especially compelling and well-written. In particular, Kira's friendship with Athrun Zala, his childhood friend, is strained many times throughout the series. They find themselves on different sides of the war, and are forced to fight each other for various reasons, and end up hurting each other over and over until they cannot take it anymore. After their climactic battle in episode 30-31, Kira reflects on what he's done up to that point, and chooses to fight in the war once more. His heart has always cared for those around him, even the people on the other side of the war. He does not believe in labeling everyone he has to fight as an enemy, dehumanising them in the process, but rather views them as people whose lives are valuable. It is with this ideal that he chooses to go out there again, in order to put an end to the killing. Athrun himself is forced to challenge the beliefs he has held for many years as a soldier for the PLANTs, eventually having to choose to disobey orders from his father to fight for what is right. He comes off as conflicted throughout the series, as he is forced to fight Kira many times and re-evaluate who he sees as an enemy. Athrun and Kira work best together, as Kira's ideals clear up Athrun's confusion and put him on the right path. Together, and with the help of the Archangel and Lacus Clyne's battleship Eternal, they are able to stop the war between the PLANTs and Earth.

Lacus Clyne is another character that deserves a mention. She plays a key role in Kira and Athrun's character development, and boldly opposes the status quo of hate in the PLANTs that has been perpetuated by the extremists of ZAFT, the military. Her pacifist speeches are key in changing public perception about the war and helping Kira back on his feet after his fight with Athrun. Though she participates in battle at the helm of the Eternal, she fights for peace and the end of war as a whole.

Aside from Kira's friendship with Athrun, the interpersonal relationships between the many characters in the supporting cast were fleshed out well, with no one character feeling particularly flat or disconnected from the rest. The action sequences were well-choreographed as well, aside from the many instances of reused footage.

Overall, this series is a 8/10.

[psychewritesbs]

When Opposites Attract, part 3: Standing guard

Uh.... not much happening in episodes 32-38... but whatever gems I was able to gather are all beneath the cut.

The things I do for blorbo and my OTP!

But mostly I’m just fast forwarding through all of the bullshit... 

Athrun

Ok so we fast forward to episode 34 where we get to see Athrun engage with his daddy issues Chairman Patrick Zala. 

What I thought was interesting about this moment was that Athrun at first addresses his father as 父上 “chichi ue”, which is like a super formal and polite way of addressing one’s father in Japan. Even if you don’t speak Japanese, if you’ve been watching anime long enough, you’ve surely heard the word “ottosan” or simply “chichi” being most commonly used to address one’s father.

I think the purpose of having Athrun say “chichi ue” was to show the audience both the level of respect that Athrun has for his father and, most importantly, the emotional distance between them. I mean... “ue” literally means “above”.

... and even that is not enough distance as Papa Zala demands even more emotional distance from Athrun as he reprimands him for calling him “father” even though there is no one else in the room with them.

Like... is it any surprise that our favorite Zala boy is constantly emotionally constipated given the lack of a mother figure and his own father’s emotional frigidness?

It is then that his father confirms that Lacus gave Kira one of the new Gundams and that their engagement is therefore broken off.

Athrun, I beg of you... there’s a whole fandom that thinks you were heartbroken about Lacus getting with Kira! Do you mind at least pretending that you were, in fact, heart broken or unhappy about it?

Idk... look sad... argue with your dad... SOMETHING, ANYTHING!

Ok but in all seriousness, going back to the idea that both Athrun and Lacus got to know each other and became friends who cared for each other as a result of their arranged marriage, I really appreciated seeing Athrun be in complete denial about Lacus being involved with the new Gundam being stolen. 

I like to think that Athrun knew that for someone like Lacus to do such a thing, she must have had a REALLY good reason for it. 

That or maybe he just totally overestimated her intelligence and cunning. After all, when Athrun thinks of Lacus he seems to find her whimsical nature... burdensome?

Flashback from who knows what episode earlier on.

Thoughts?

Anyways. Like Cagalli, Lacus challenges Athrun and his propensity to following orders blindly just as she tells him that she’s on Kira’s side.

Then there’s a gun fight, Athrun protects Lacus who is technically now an “enemy” (yay for character development), yadda yadda yadda, and as Lacus says goodbye, Athrun can’t contain himself with how in love he is with her and therefore does not go with her. 

True love I tell you. TRUE LOVE!

So Athrun gets on his shiny new Gundam and takes off for the Earth with a new perspective on his blind devotion, which means it’s time for Athrun to become a conscious human being with a free will of his own. That Oedipus Complex is about to have its ass kicked to the curb.

To whom and what Athrun becomes devoted to defines the rest of his character arc.

Cagalli

As for Cagalli... well she’s already had development so all we get from her is that she’s happy to see Kira is still alive, Mwu totally steals the Strike from her rude, and she actually asks for permission now.

Speaking of character development...

She even learned military strategy and is in charge of directing this battle. Nothing beats 15 year old teenage girls directing a country’s military. These Gundam Seed writers sure know how to write realistic battle scenes.

Fast forward... fast forward... and we get to our next asucaga encounter...

Bridging the gap

After Athrun helps win the battle to protect Orb against the crazy Earth Fed pilots, Athrun and Kira stare each other down, proving once and for all that Kira looks about as threatening as a French Poodle or a Pomeranian. 

At least he’s not crying so that’s always a win.

But I have to say that I loved Cagalli realizing that the pilot in that other sparkly Gundam was none other than Athrun who is now walking towards the one person he thought he had killed.

Also, why is everyone so surprised and acting like they know what is going on?? Like even the random soldiers behind Cagalli are like “oh my gah! *GASP*”!

Little side note here: Dearka has about as much depth as a kiddy pool but I have to admit I like his personality when he’s not letting himself be influenced by everybody’s favorite Mean Girl™, Yzak. I also have to admit that I wish he wouldn’t have gotten paired up with Milly because it feels like the writers are just pulling ships out of their asses at this point.

But anyways... as the Orb soldiers point their guns at Athrun, that look he flashes them is so...

Like is that a smile? Is he sad? What’s going on here?

I’m in a shippy mood so I’m going to go ahead and gatekeep the fck out of this scene and officially claim that he’s looking straight at Cagalli.

Whatever that look communicated, Cagalli takes notice and bridges the seemingly irreconcilable gap between Athrun and Kira.

What follows then is the conversation between Athrun and Kira on how Kira has chosen to fight moving forward. Now that Kira has earned his status as Kira Jesus Yamato, he’s unlocked new levels of Buddhahood previously not available to him and has chosen the “middle path”.

This gets Athrun thinking (yay! finally!) about Chairman Zala’s extremism but still appears to be torn as to where his allegiance lays and whom and what he will seek to protect.

And like ok. This is one of the gems in Gundam Seed and why I think that EVERYONE needs to watch at least ONE Gundam show. In the end, Gundam is about human conflict and how the gap can be bridged between two opposing sides. 

If I’m honest, with the way our world is so divided nowadays, we could use some cute bishonen and jiggly boobs to remind us that the “enemy” too is human. And Gundam Seed got that right, jiggly boobs and all.

But I digress... back to what REALLY matters: the melodrama.

Athrun gets challenged time and time again by others to make a call and decide his place in the war. In the end, if there’s one thing that everyone wants, it’s to end the war--even if they have different approaches for it.

And since I’ve been writing about Athrun and Cagalli “meeting in the middle”, I thought it was a cute detail that both of them mess with their hair when burdened by their own thoughts.

Also, if you know Scorpios, then you know they are stubborn af. Hence Athrun being mega indecisive about how he wants to contribute towards ending the war.

But none of that matters because Cagalli is there...

... standing “guard”.

I think one of the things I’ve grown to really like about Cagalli is that she’s this “steady” source of optimism and support for others. 

I also like to think that as a result of all of these conversations he’s been having, Athrun is beginning to break through that Oedipal Complex of his. He realized that at the core of his own father’s extremist attitudes is the pain of having lost his wife.

The problem is that this senseless hatred has spiraled out of control as is shown in this episode when the idea of the nuclear-powered Gundams becomes a point of contention.

It is thus then that Athrun will seek to return to space to try to “kill” his own father, which is in itself a metaphor for Athrun finally overcoming his own rigid mental barriers in favor of a new perspective influenced by his heart as “conscience”.

This also means I’ll have about 10 episodes left before I move onto Gundam Wing and Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury, which I want to watch because it was written by Okuchi Ichiro who also wrote Code Geass and whom I know is a CLAMP fan.

[fiannalover]

Patrick Zala: I've come to make an announcement: Muruta Azrael is a bitch-ass motherfucker

[six-magnitude-girl]

The Dawn of the New Ackerman

Summary: Countess Dina Yeager neé Fritz married Duke Kevan Ackerman and it might not be the worst thing ever.

Chapter: 1/5

Tags: Pseudo-Incest, Alternate Universe - Medieval Fantasy, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Angst, Fluff, Sharing a Bed, Slow Build, Found Family, Possessive Behavior, Eventual Explicit Smut, Mildly Dubious Consent, no beta we die like Kuchel, this is what happens when you write with Goblet of Fire playing on loop, this is off the mark tbh, my self indulgent saccharine concoction

A/N: This fanfic is inspired by Tywin Lannister/Joanna Lannister from Game Of Thrones and Patrick Zala/Lenore Zala from Mobile Suit: Gundam SEED.  

Note: Italics are either inner thoughts or dream sequences.

***

Eren Yeager reeks of death as he blankly stares at the two caskets before him.  Hollowed out cheeks, chapped lips,  purple-reddish under the eye as if he hasn't slept or eaten in many moons. His gaunt figure was stuffed in all ill-fitted black garb. He looks like life has been sucked out of him. The only thing indicating that he was still alive is his dull green eyes, shining in the sea of black clothes and white flowers. But even his only sign of life contained something unbecoming of a nine-year-old boy. 

The way everyone looked at the two remaining Yeagers is astonishing. One with compassion and the other with rejection and derision. After all, it was widely known that it was only because of Countess Dina's grace that Eren was even allowed to attend his father and older half-brother's funeral.

The funeral attendees all sympathized with Countess Yeager, her kindness and pitiful state were well spread. 

"How could such misfortune befell the Countess?" Their eyes roam to Eren when talking about the Countess. 

"Truly a devil's child." is what they called Eren. His face remained blank despite being at a funeral for his family members who raised and loved him despite his questionable birth.

"I am telling you, this is proof that it's the goddess's will to drown bastards instead of raising those ingrates." 

Eren tries to think of any love shown by both Zeke and Grisha but his mind comes blank. Does Zeke calling him a little brother in private only to treat him badly when they are in front of their father count? Does Grisha stopping Zeke from beating him bloody count? He couldn't think of any good memory… but he still felt heartless all the same because he couldn't muster even a single tear for the last of his blood.

Eren wonders if they knew that he could hear what they're saying. I suppose that was the point, isn't it? he thought. 

Oddly enough, despite having a disturbing amount of rage running through his veins, he couldn't muster the energy to even feel annoyed. He just felt empty inside.

Before someone dies, it was said that everything would go really slow and you'll be granted a moment of complete clarity before passing. 

That clarity came for Eren when he thought how pointless it is to get angry at them as they are only being true to their nature, cruel and oppressive to the people they think are below them. Eren knew early on that all nobles have a brand of cruelty in them. It was their birthright he learned. So imagine Eren's surprise when his stepmother Dina, still didn't kick him out on the streets or leave him out to fend for himself months after the mourning period. 

When he thought hard enough, Dina's angel-like image around the circle flashed through Eren's mind, and was once again blown away just how appearances and their reputation are everything to these nobles. 

When Grisha and Zeke died, Dina followed the will to the tee, the instruction for her to take care of Eren till he's of age and let him manage the Yeager estate. Manage what exactly? Eren thought. Their gold mines dried up a long time ago, Dina doesn't know the first thing about business and even though women can now do business to some extent, they still aren't exactly advertised to do so. The logical thing for her to do to maintain her lifestyle is to remarry and so she did. 

Dina instructed him to pack his things because they are now going to live in the Ackerman mansion since she and Duke Kevan Ackerman are going to get married. 

The Ackerman estate was so big that it even had a forest with a stream running through it. Eren was blown away and he felt more nervous than he wanted to because he knows for a fact that even among all the noble ranks, the only one above the Ackerman ducal house would be the Reiss Royal family of The New Eldian Empire. 

"Be sure to get along with your new father and older sister, okay?" Eren continued to observe his surroundings and nodded without looking at Dina. If the Countess felt annoyed with him, she didn't say anything as she continued to tell him all that he needed to know about the Ackermans. He listened intently even though he acted as if he didn't. 

Eren knew it wasn't good manners to give nonverbal replies to direct questions but he didn't care. He hasn't spoken since the funeral, he hasn't spoken much anyway even before. 

As Eren continued to listen about the great Ackerman Dukedom, he thought that they must be even more arrogant and nasty than the other nobles. Eren inwardly shudders as a montage of the worst-case scenario plays inside his head. After all, he's just a powerless kid who can't even protect himself so if keeping his head down and taking the beating gives him a fighting chance, he'll take it. He knows he doesn't have many options if he wants to rise to the top and be able to live as he wants. 

"My name is Dina Fritz." Her smile was as bright as the sunflowers that decorates the bonnet that she was wearing. It makes Eren inwardly gag at the saccharine fakeness of it all. 

When his father and older brother were still alive, life wasn't perfect but there was a sense of realness where they didn't have to pretend in front of each other. They knew for a fact that Grisha was a nutjob who constantly pressured and pitied his heir, Zeke against his much younger illegitimate child, Eren. 

Zeke Yeager, despite having the softest heart in the Yeager family surprises everyone with his brutal but effective mindset; maybe it was because of his softness that he still wanted his father's approval even after everything. 

Dina Yeager just sits there and turns a blind eye to Grisha's mistreatment of Zeke. Truth be told, Eren hated Dina more than Grisha. Because in his mind, the one who neglects and turns a blind eye to the abuse is worse than the abuser. If Dina gets a sadistic satisfaction of his perils at the hands of his father, he'll hate it but ultimately understand. After all, Eren was not her son. Nobody loves or ever loved him, nobody cares about him except maybe Zeke to some extent... whatever that was left of him that wasn't set on getting their father's approval. 

"This is my son, Eren. He's younger than you so please take care of him." 

Unlike Dina's fake smile and Kevan's polite smile, Mikasa Ackerman didn't smile nor made any effort to match anyone's energy of forced excitement. She looked different than what Eren expected, it wasn't just because of her mixed heritage, she was only fourteen but she's the very picture of beauty, grace, and composure. She's wearing a simple light gray dress with her silky dark tresses falling on her back. You can tell with the way she carries herself, how effortless it is for her. It was something she was born with. 

Mikasa solemnly bowed to her new family members to show respect. Eren found that more reassuring than any smiles anyone could offer him at the moment. 

***

Contrary to his grim expectations, things weren't so bad. Kevan is away on business a lot and Dina always comes with him. Eren and Mikasa are left alone most of the time as their parents were never home. 

Even if Eren's new life wasn't the hell that he expected, he still felt anxious. His demons still come and go as it pleases, it visits him like an old friend who couldn't take the hint that he's finally outgrown them. He retreated in silence because he doesn't want to speak of what happened to his late father and brother. It's not like anyone would ever ask him. It was swept under the rug like all things. Even in private he doesn't like thinking about it because it's like he's breathing life back into them but it didn't matter because even beyond the grave they still haunt him. 

Eren still gets nightmares about their deaths. He reminds himself that he could have ended up like his birth mother who is six feet under the ground, buried in a nameless grave, forgotten. But he didn't. He's alive. 

He walks in on them in the forest. 

Grisha is standing not far from Zeke who is slumped on the ground. His father was immediately on to him when he took a step back. "It didn't work on your brother, Eren." There's a crazed look in his eyes that has him backing away even further. 

"I've always known that he was weak. But not you…" by the time he held out a sharp contraction on his hands, Eren was sprinting away. 

"Give me your arm, Eren!" Grisha was chasing him. 

"You've gone crazy!" 

"I'm not crazy! Don't you ever say that!" 

Eren knows that it's a dream but he cannot snap out of it. His legs felt heavy and it was like he was breathing underwater. 

Everything plays the same way as it does. Eren fights but they are still dead and everything is closing in on him. 

He's losing either way. Why must he be forced to relive this?

"–Ren" It was a firm but gentle voice. 

"Eren" 

When Eren's bloodshot eyes snapped open, he was screaming and swinging his fists at some invisible enemy. Mikasa was hovering over him to snap him out of it. 

"Eren, wake up." Some of it landed on her arms but she ignored the pain to engulf Eren in an embrace to stop him from potentially hurting himself. 

"It's Mikasa" Eren eventually stopped screaming and flailing his arms. His body went limp as Mikasa cradles him because even though it's not unwelcome, its warmth is unfamiliar to him. His head rested on her chest listening to her heartbeat. He was drenched with his sweat and is still breathing heavily but he has finally gotten back to his senses. 

"It's a dream." Mikasa wipes a tear that fell out of Eren's right eye. Eren didn't even notice that he was crying because he was too busy trying to breathe. 

When he gets nightmares in the past, a servant who would awaken from his screams would just shake him until he's awake and leave him to pick himself up alone. That was the norm for him, that's the only thing he has ever experienced. He didn't like anyone's presence anyway but Mikasa's steady heartbeat and scent calmed him down. Concentrating on the clear beats of her heart, he closed his eyes again. 

When Mikasa felt Eren's heartbeat steadying she tried to get some water for him but Eren suddenly snapped his eyes open and felt like screaming again with the thought of her leaving. He tried to speak but only rasped noises came out. His throat felt so dry that the air coming from his mouth felt like setting his lungs on fire. 

"You need to drink water, Eren." His grip on her nightgown tightened. "I won't leave." She held him tighter to reassure him. 

Her voice was gentle and patient. "I just need to get your water on the table." Eren peaked at the table from her embrace and slowly let her go. 

His room was illuminated slightly by Mikasa's candle at the table. She handed Eren a glass of water that helped to soothe his sore throat. She ran soothing circles at his back when he coughed up some of the water.

"I'm sor-sorry…" Eren never felt so embarrassed in his whole life. Besides sounding like a frog trying to speak, not only did he disturb her sleep, he hurt her… Clung to her like a newborn babe and now he can't even drink water on his own. 

Mikasa only shook her head at him as if to say that it was no big deal "Don't be." and brushed his hair away from his forehead to prevent sweat from coming to contact with his eye. 

"I get them too." 

That was the end of that. Mikasa could tell that Eren was embarrassed so she never mentioned or asked about his night terrors. 

But something changed after that night. Mikasa now takes the initiative to come to Eren's room with a mug of warm milk. They still don't know what to say to each other whenever she delivers his nightcap. 

"Do you like it?" Eren nodded. The warmth of the drink bringing some color to his cheeks as his eyes peek out behind the mug is enough for Mikasa. She wordlessly leaves a glass of water at his table before she retires to bed. 

Eren doesn't thank her and he pretends not to notice how she sometimes goes to his room in the dead of the night to check on him. Neither does he admit to himself that it makes him sleep better at night. 

***

Even though they always eat together, they always eat in silence, until now. "Is there something wrong with the food?" 

"...they are okay." Eren scrambles to think about what he did wrong. Did he eat too much? Was he too eager? Did he use the wrong knife? 

He felt uneasy with Mikasa's eyes on him and ate the vegetable on his plate by mistake. He can't spit it out so he tried not to gag while chewing it.  

"You don't like vegetables." It was an observation that wasn't meant to berate or belittle him. Eren knows that but nobody has ever commented on his eating habits unless to criticize him so he still felt uneasy. Evenso, he still felt ashamed. He felt like Mikasa just found some sort of fatal flaw or disability in him. 

"Do you want to go out on a picnic with me tomorrow?" Mikasa's voice snapped him out of his spiral towards self-loathing and shame. Eren was dumbfounded by the sudden change of topic. Is she really asking for his opinion? Usually, people just decide for him. He didn't know what to do with this newfound privilege of choice that Mikasa was giving him. Before Eren can calculate Mikasa's ulterior motive, he finds himself nodding.

"Do you have any friends you want to invite with us?" He shook his head and prayed for her not to figure out that he has no friends… Eren doesn't want to look like a loser in front of Mikasa. 

"Just the two of us then." He doesn't understand why he felt so relieved hearing that it would be just the two of them. 

***

There are two maids, a footman, and a driver escorting them. They are underneath a big tree at the top of a hill, overlooking a field of flowers. After setting things up, Mikasa waves the escorts off with a generous amount of coins for them to enjoy the whole afternoon to themselves. 

Eren allows himself to observe and enjoy the scenery. 

It was a perfect day for a picnic. It's windy and Eren watches as the fluffy white clouds in the sky move and changes their shape. Aside from the blue mountains, there's an assortment of flowers surrounding them. It's the most beautiful place he's ever seen. 

Eren turned to Mikasa. She's sitting on the right side of the blanket. All the food was placed on a table with short legs so it was only slightly elevated but not unreachable. Mikasa takes out a box of matches to light the ten little candles in a round chocolate cake. Her eyes slightly curled when she looked up to offer him a small smile. 

"Happy 10th Birthday, Eren." Judging by Mikasa's smile, Eren knew that she knew that he had forgotten about his own birthday. It wasn't his fault. Again, he was unsure how to react. 

Eren can only numbly sit on the left side and helplessly blow out the candles at  Mikasa's urging. Negative feelings are swirling deep inside of him. He looked at all the food and it was all of his favorites.

Nobody, dead or alive, knows about his food preference. Nobody cares about his birth date… so how did she know? 

Mikasa was saying something but Eren couldn't hear her. His eyes widened when he saw her reaching for a serrated knife. 

Before he could even stop himself, the birthday boy grabbed the older girl's wrist. "How did you know?" he inwardly winced at the accusatory tone that his voice carried. "...about the fo-food or my birthday?" Eren knows that Mikasa doesn't deserve anything less than his best behavior around her but he is always near hysterical on the inside with the way she treats him. She has never done anything wrong and that's the problem from Eren's perspective. How is he supposed to treat her? 

If Mikasa was surprised or offended by his tone, she never showed and calmly answered him. "The food was a gamble. I noticed how you eat more when they are at the table. Your birthday… I asked Dina all about you when we had tea before father married her." 

Why would you go that far for someone like me? is the only thought running through Eren's mind.  

"Eren, what's wrong?" Mikasa tried to touch Eren with her other hand but he caught it with his other one albeit more gently. Eren wasn't angry, frustrated, or in pain so he didn't know how to react. He should be relieved but it only riddled him with anxiety. Before Mikasa, he had never known kindness, gentleness, or anything close to those feelings. 

Everything that comes to mind when Eren thinks to describe Mikasa is a foreign concept to him. It's not real, or at least not someone like him is allowed to have. He liked his life now. So much… that it pains his chest and burns into the remaining pieces of his soul.

Eren felt an ice-cold rush of panic when he realized how tightly he's been holding onto Mikasa's wrists. "I'm sorry..." he slowly lets go of her wrists. 

Why can't he stop hurting her? Eren inwardly beats himself up remembering how he hurt her when he was thrashing because of a nightmare and how he's done it again. 

Eren hugged his knees and bowed his head. "My mother was a maid who died giving birth to me. Nobody has ever celebrated my birthday… ever." Eren knows it wasn't an excuse for the way he treated her or much of an apology but he wanted her to understand. He wanted her to know that he never meant to hurt her. Ever. She has to know that he never meant to hurt her. 

Mikasa interrupts Eren from alternating between guilt and self-loathing for being vulnerable. "I have always wanted a sibling." he blinked at the revelation. She tucked her knees and rested her head in them, facing him. 

"My mother died giving birth to me too and as you've observed my father was always away on business." she paused for a bit and continued. "So I have always been alone." 

Is that why you get nightmares too? He wanted to ask but he kept his mouth shut which urged her to continue. 

"Of course, there are servants around and I can easily befriend them if I insist but I found out early on, on several occasions that it only brings unnecessary troubles." Mikasa grimaced, remembering her pathetic attempts before she gave up. 

Maids either want to climb her father's bed, actively spy to sell information, or simply use her for her wealth. It doesn't sound so bad for Mikasa but she wanted something real, as naive and nonexistent as it may be.

"The friends that I seek are as rare as a love match." she tried to put it lightly, "And I don't think I can ever really quite fit in with the ladies in high society." but the loneliness was deeply felt. 

Nevertheless, she remained perfect in his eyes. The respect that he felt for her increased because she was strong enough to admit what others try so hard to hide.

Eren remembered Dina and her friends –vultures as he calls them in his mind– that frequented the Yeager estate. "I can see that. You are different from them." Mikasa was not sure how to reply. 

"In a good way!" he waved his hands around trying to think of ways to convince her but came empty "Different but in a good way," Eren added hastily because he was truly complimenting her but was afraid of getting misunderstood. 

Mikasa patted Eren's head to reassure him. "Thank you but I don't think I am much different, Eren." She sat up straight and stretched her legs. "I am just like everyone else. For one thing, I like beautiful things." Eren couldn't keep his eyes off Mikasa as she lovingly gestured at the field of flowers and closed her eyes to feel the gentle breeze on her face. 

She opened her almond eyes with a new resolve in them. "Protection and safety for me and my family are also important to me." It was the most important thing for her. 

"Tea parties are a great way to establish trust and connection. That's one of the reasons why everyone gets so caught up with appearances. One discord or wrong word out of your mouth can ruin an entire household. Loyal servants also have families to feed." Eren has never thought of it that way but listening to Mikasa puts things into perspective. 

That's why she's different. Eren can agree with her statement to some extent but he doesn't think most nobles have the same mindset as her. Most are just animals that wear human skins as a disguise. 

Mikasa noticed Eren's struggle to comfort her so she tried to lighten up the mood. "That's the reason why I was excited about your arrival!" 

Eren tried to remember the day they met and thought out loud. "I never would have guessed with the expression you were wearing." and she welcomed that change in him, no matter how small. 

"How could I act excited when you just got out of mourning?" Mikasa explained herself. How could anyone greet someone so cheerfully who just got out of mourning?  It's only been a year since Grisha and Zeke died. 

Eren was once again blown away by Mikasa's thoughtfulness. He has always felt as if he had no right to even grieve having lost his father and brother. They never had the best relationship and he wasn't even sure what that looks like but they were blood. Not one soul but Mikasa recognized his grief.

"I know it's selfish but I just thought since you arrived that I never have to be alone again… at least not for a while." In his eyes, she was anything but selfish. 

Eren and Mikasa shared a moment when they looked into each other's eyes. It was a moment where they truly understood each other more than the strange circumstance that they found themselves in. They won't need to be alone anymore. 

For the first time in forever, Eren felt content. He realized that with the way things went down, this is the best thing that could have happened to him.

Not long after, Mikasa eagerly asked him to eat some sort of a round-wrapped sandwich first. "I assisted in making it myself." Eren warily unwrapped it and despite his hesitation, took a generous bite. His expressive green eyes lightened up when he tasted it. 

Mikasa felt satisfied seeing him happily eating it then dropped a bomb on him. "There are at least four vegetables in that sandwich." 

"What?!" Eren was shocked. What kind of sorcery is this? Mikasa nodded to reaffirm the fact and smiled. 

"I know that you only eat meat and that vegetables can be unpalatable at times but your body needs them to grow healthy and strong." Eren felt offended and dodged her attempts to pat his head again. 

"I am not a kid! Don't treat me like a child! You are only older than me by five years!" Eren quickly covered his mouth to stop himself from ruining things but to his relief, Mikasa only chuckled which made his cheeks pink. He was annoyed because Mikasa treats him like a child when she is a child herself but liked the light atmosphere between them. 

"I haven't given you a gift yet. Is there anything you want?" his eyes widened. He gets a gift too?! "You don't need to. This is more than enough!" 

Mikasa thinks of the things that her little brother may want and smiles indulgently. "But I want to." 

"I can't think of anything." A total lie. 

Celebrating his birthday with just the two of them is enough. 

"Alright then, you need to tell me when you think of anything and I'll get it for you to the best of my abilities." He wants her to promise to always celebrate his birthday with him. Eren still didn't say anything and just nodded. Even though the levity between them didn't disappear, there's a certain stone weighing on his heart because of his inability to communicate what he wanted. 

“How about your dreams?” she got his attention back on her. “Do you have any dreams for the future?” 

There is no hesitation on Eren's part this time. “I want to be powerful. I want to win and get what I want.” If Mikasa found his answer strange, she didn’t say anything and only contemplated for a bit. 

“If that’s what you want then I’ll help you.” She told him that one way to ensure prestige is to excel in the academy that all nobles are required to attend so he needs to have a head start in his education. 

Mikasa asked him if he was okay with her being in charge of his education or if he wanted her to hire a tutor. 

Eren is elated that someone is taking his dreams seriously and is even actively helping him but was then plagued with his deep-rooted insecurities. "Is that even possible considering the circumstances of my birth?" 

Mikasa is not a liar to assuage him of his worries because it wasn't entirely unfounded but she ached the same because he sounded so vulnerable so she let him in on something she wasn't entirely comfortable touching on. "You are born into this world. A man. With work, you can almost have anything that you want. It's not a guarantee but you have more leeway and chances than most have." It would be years until Eren can finally understand what Mikasa meant, “I’ll help you, Eren. I’m with you, every step of the way.” nonetheless he believed her when she said she'd help him and goddess help her, she did. 

Mikasa helped Eren get everything his heart ever desired and more. 

***

Mikasa found out that Eren doesn't possess a natural-born talent like her or her cousin, Levi, instead he is focused and has a sheer will and determination once he decides to commit to something. She greatly admires his consistent effort and grit in his studies. Even with her natural talent, not even she can display such dedication towards it. It was displayed most especially when it was time for their history lesson. It was Mikasa’s favorite subject so it pains her to see just how bored Eren was with it. 

“What do you have against history?” Eren shrugged. 

“I am not questioning its inclusion in our lessons. I know self-important nobles-” Eren corrected himself “-people won’t want anyone to forget their achievements so I am going to memorize it all but don’t expect me to understand why people read stuff like this for entertainment.” and Mikasa took that as a challenge.

Later that evening, “What are you doing here?” Mikasa's presence isn't unwelcomed but he's generally puzzled. 

“I am going to read you a bedtime story.” Eren’s first reaction is to yell that he wasn’t a kid and she should stop treating him as one but Eren saw the history book they were studying earlier and sighed. Eren decided to indulge her because she’s surprisingly stubborn and he doesn’t think he can win against her. 

Mikasa sat on Eren’s bed and motioned for him to get comfortable since it was going to be a long bedtime story. 

It was an eye-opening experience for both of them. Mikasa never knew how fun it was to talk to someone about her interests and Eren didn’t hate it because she told him stories from the past in a way that wasn’t boring. He doesn’t want to admit it but he wants more. 

Mikasa surprised him by asking questions and it felt strange to him that he just knew the answers like the back of his hand. Eren rolled his eyes at Mikasa when she smiled triumphantly at him. 

This was the first of countless nights Mikasa spends in Eren’s bed telling him stories of the past, inadvertently curing his crippling nightmares. Instead of white flowers stained in blood, he now dreams of giants and the heroes that saved the world. 

***

"Do you want me to get you a magic tutor and a swordmaster to continue your training?" Mikasa asked Eren while they were having their afternoon tea. He was doing so well with his studies that she was forced to increase the difficulty as months went by.

It was perfect timing because the person she had in mind to be Eren's swordmaster finally wrote back. 

"How did you know?" Eren and Mikasa spend most of their time together now. It brought them so much joy that they didn’t know a human being is possible to feel. The feeling of belonging and acceptance that they make each other feel is intoxicating that they forget what their life was like before meeting each other. "Right… Dina." Eren answered his own question. 

When Mikasa first talked to Dina about Eren, she realized early on that she'll most likely be in charge of practically raising him and she'll be damned if she leaves him out to dry like how everyone did as she was growing up. 

There is unspoken transparency between them that builds up the mutual trust they have for one another. But one thing Mikasa wasn't willing to divulge is how Eren's stepmother can barely tell her anything about him. It wasn't a big problem for her as she resorted to other means to get the information that she wanted. Visiting her uncle Kenny and his lover, Uri at the underworld was more than enough to know everything about Eren Yeager. Remembering how Eren was before he had fully adjusted, she's so glad that she did.

*** 

"Let's just hope Crazy Mage doesn't get you killed when they get their hands on you." this is the only thing Levi said to Eren after assessing his abilities. 

Levi Ackerman was a distant relative of Mikasa but Eren noticed how they are alike in more ways than Mikasa ever was to Kevan and he was relieved to have another person like her around. The only condition Levi has for teaching Eren the art of the sword is for him to cease any sort of magic training until he deems him ready. 

Eren's lessons with Levi take up most of his time now. Aside from their meals together, he doesn't get to spend much time with Mikasa anymore. 

Privately, Eren was saddened but had this resolve in his heart to better himself. At night, aside from their bedtime story ritual, Mikasa attends to his injuries because Eren refuses to let anyone touch him. It was a curious thing how the two of them don't acknowledge how Mikasa was Eren's exception.

As Mikasa gently rubs a generous amount of cream on Eren's calluses, his eyes are shining with excitement telling her all about his lessons with Levi. "I just don't understand how he can spin like that!" 

The young boy paused and looked up to Mikasa, lowering his voice. "He must be lying and using some sort of magic because humans don't move like that!" 

Mikasa couldn't stop herself anymore and fully laughed now. 

"The Ackermans are mostly, if not fully magic resistant." Magic doesn't work on the Ackermans but they also can't use magic. She reminded Eren of their bloodline quirk and he groaned but he didn't sulk that long because Eren always liked the adrenaline in his veins. 

"I'll beat him someday!" Eren vowed revenge. 

"I know a way for you to be able to land a hit on Levi." Mikasa's eyes twinkled because she liked getting the rise out of Levi.

Eren was so eager earlier but now felt reluctant when he noticed where they were heading. It is known that the Ackermans are the only people allowed inside their infamous tower. 

When he voiced his concerns, that made Mikasa pause to reiterate how her father adopted him and that he's an Ackerman now. "Tell me immediately if someone dares to tell you otherwise." Eren was a bit annoyed by Mikasa's protectiveness of him but it reassured him of his place. 

The infamous Astronomy Tower with its stained glass ceiling is the tallest in the Ackerman estate. It has an upper and lower dome. The lower dome has several rooms but is mostly a huge library with unlabeled leather books and the upper dome houses a telescope. 

When Mikasa took out a music box and the music played in the background, that's when he started having doubts. "Are you sure about this?" He knows she only intended to help but Eren really couldn't comprehend how learning how to dance would make him better at fighting. 

"Most people don't know this but–" Eren could see where this was going and he interrupted Mikasa. 

"Are you sure I am allowed to know Ackerman's family secrets?" he said jokingly but mostly because he was skeptical. 

Mikasa's leveled stare stopped him from talking. "-Levi is a phenomenal dancer and he moves just as fluidly and gracefully as he does in and out of combat. This isn't a sure way of winning against him but if you want a shot at winning, learning the flow and applying it to your combat skills is the way to go." 

Despite Eren's skepticism, Mikasa is the person he trusts the most so he follows her to the center of the room. Eren stared up at Mikasa, resolute that someday he'll grow bigger and taller than her even if it's the last thing he does. His complex was all forgotten when she asked for his hand. 

Eren was annoyed at how he was now reduced to a blushing maiden in front of her. He took her hand instead and she lightly pulled him closer to her.

Eren pursed his lips and looked up at her. "Why are you on your tiptoes?" Standing face to face, their height difference is already so emphasized and it annoys him so much. At fourteen, Mikasa is taller than the average female and stands at 171 cm while Eren at ten years of age is 1 cm.

"It's easier to move when you are on your toes." Mikasa sighed at Eren's constant scrutinization. She dropped his hand. "Go stand in the corner first and let me give you an idea of how the dance will go."

Eren raised an eyebrow at that. "Without a partner?" 

"I'll act as if I have a partner." Mikasa on her tiptoes positioned her hands as if she had an invisible partner. 

Eren's jaw dropped when she started. Mikasa spins at a breakneck speed. He couldn't even tell her how her nightgown is riding up and exposing her bare legs with tongue-tied he is. He could only stare at her as she spins in reverse around the room back to her initial position at the center. Don't even get him started with the body tilts and the leaping, Eren legitimately thought Mikasa was flying. 

If anyone were to attempt what Mikasa did, they'll probably only look stupid. But not her… She looked beautiful. 

"Follow my lead." Eren would never admit how thankful he was that Mikasa slowed things down for him as she was teaching him. 

"Don't be afraid, I won't fall." Mikasa smiled because she can tell that Eren was concerned that she'll get hurt if he fails to support her weight. What she didn't tell him is how she's holding her own weight instead of resting everything on him as it should because she doesn't want to bruise his pride. He's young so, understandably, he won't be able to but Eren is a breed of crazy persistence that insists on subjecting himself to these ridiculously high standards. 

Neither slept until the early signs of dawn but it was worth it because after a week of dance lessons… 

"I managed to land a hit on him!" There's a blooming bruise on Eren's head and his arm is bleeding but it didn't take away the shine in his eyes as he joyfully recounted the story to Mikasa who was attending to his wounds. Since his arm is injured they decided to take a break from their dance lesson and just continue to talk on the terrace underneath the stars. 

Both of them turned to each other when they saw a shooting star. "What did you wish for?" Mikasa asked. 

Eren realized as the star-filled sky as his witness that he's happy and if things continue to stay the way they are that he has nothing more to wish for. 

Unfortunately, it wasn't meant to stay that way. 

***

The Ackermans have always been a powerful ducal family with a long history. 

Despite having connections, beauty, talent, resources, and everything one could want; they often have tragic ends. It's said to be the price they had to pay for letting the royal family experiment on them to obtain their infamous magic resistance. 

The tragedy is like an Ackerman trademark at this point. The members of the Ackerman clan are known to often fixate or obsess about a specific thing or person that they'll do whatever it takes to obtain it and cut down anyone who stands in their way. 

A single-minded devotion that each family member shared. Depending on who you ask, it was seen as a birthright, curse, or mental defect because of the family’s inbreeding to maintain their bloodline in the earlier generations. 

That’s the reason why Kevan Ackerman married a princess from a far east country with the sole purpose of providing an heir for duty. Because just like Kenny, he never wanted the ducal seat. 

The Duke of diamonds is Kevan Ackerman's moniker. He has an obsession with them and personally supervises the mining. He has an uncanny talent and luck with everything that has something to do with diamonds. Diamonds are everything to him, they defined him and will be his legacy. He doesn't have any room in his heart for anyone or anything else. 

Mikasa found that out when she was nine years old. She was on her way to the kitchen for some water when she passed her father's study.

“Don’t cha' think you should take it easy with your diggin?” Kevan only replied with a faint laugh that somehow only made the pit in Mikasa’s stomach who was eavesdropping fall even deeper. “I am serious. At this rate, yo’ gonna be buried alive. Don’t want sweet Mika to be orphaned like little Levi.” Even though Kenny is supposed to be in exile with the deposed king, Uri Reiss, he still visits his old home to check on things when time allows it. 

“Us Ackermans must go where we want to go and die where we must.” The little girl that loves unconditionally tried to understand where her father was coming from but only the truth remained that she was all alone in this cruel world. 

Mikasa now prepares a pitcher of water by her bedside before going to sleep. She doesn't want to overhear conversations again that manage to lower her already low expectations. 

As she lay in bed, she set aside her feelings to think about it and it all suddenly made sense to Mikasa. 

That stormy night, she went up to the Astronomy Tower to check on those journals again.

It wasn't just the Ackermans being born privileged to have the best of everything that sets them apart from the other noble families. 

Usually, with power comes great responsibility, but contrary to that, their privilege allows them to be free. Free to pursue whatever it is that they want. They weren't pressured to fill in societal expectations, they were raised to look after themselves. 

The only thing that the family requires is for them to write about their life. 

At nine years old, Mikasa has already read every single journal stored inside the Astronomy Tower. There must be hundreds of them… She was mostly left unsupervised and was privy to every single detail of her great but fallen family members. 

In the Titan Age, centuries ago, the last Ackerman knight: Henry Ackerman who has the undying knightly faith to serve the Reiss royal family only to be betrayed by them which resulted in having his immediate family members hunted and killed. 

The Iceburst Age's Luxana Ackerman who has an obsession with reaching the clouds in the sky, only to plummet to her death on the cold hard ground with the flying machine that she spent her whole life making. 

To Kuchel Ackerman, who was engaged and gave nothing but love to Marley's crown prince but the said prince chose to marry another woman from a baron family. If that wasn’t enough, framed her for a crime she didn’t commit to justify jilting her. It didn’t matter that their schemes were obviously disproven or how Kuchel was already pregnant with the crown prince’s child. He refused to take responsibility or acknowledge Levi as his son. Kuchel Ackerman still spent her whole life in disgrace. People reduced her to this whore, as some caricature of a villainess and shunned by high society until her death when Levi was only six years old.   

How many more of them should fall until the next one learns their lesson? 

Even though it gave Mikasa a strong sense of justice, she learned from those journals that a good heart doesn’t give you a pass for a happy ending. Good or bad, the world is equally still cruel. Even then, she is resolved to live a peaceful and happy life away from high society.

Every noble child in their kingdom is required to attend The New Eldian Empire Academy once they turn fifteen. Attending the academy is crucial as it also serves as a noble's debut in society. Most engagements, alliances, and animosities alike are most likely built within those four years inside the academy walls. 

Mikasa felt more at ease with her decision now that Levi is around to hold the fort. The future of house Ackerman is already secured with her little brother, Eren. So she has nothing to worry about anymore and she can do whatever it is that she pleases. 

Of course, there's this option for Mikasa to attend and just keep to herself but with her position, she doesn't think it's possible. 

Everyone is dying to get their hands on the Ackerman dukedom. 

Mikasa could get a fiancee who preferably doesn't want the duke's seat which is very unlikely or someone she can dump after she graduates to get the target off her back. The problem with that is one wrong judgment of character from her, and she could endanger both Eren and Levi who also has the right to inherit the duke's seat. Mikasa doesn't like how high the odds are of her setting a conspiracy in motion. That's why she'll do whatever it takes to escape those four years. 

That's where Mikasa thought of the Church Of Ymir. It wasn't a popular choice for nobles because its study mostly focuses on healing and theology. Founder Ymir's grudge against King Karl I still remains to this day, which is why her temple only caters to women. Signing up means you'll need to study and serve for nine whole years without going out of the temple. You can send and receive letters but it wasn't as luxurious as studying in the Academy and by the time your nine years are up, you'll be considered an old maid. So the small percentage of women who chose the temple over the Academy almost always wanted to be a full-time priestesses. Mikasa didn't want that. She just wanted the most diplomatic way to evade and avoid playing anyone's game. 

***

"Nosy brat." Mikasa smiled seeing Levi's face souring upon seeing her face.

"I wish I could have seen your face when he landed a hit on you." he only glared at her before handing her a small box with a bow on it. 

"You're fifteen, gloomy brat." A moment of heavy silence passed between them. 

"Thank you, Levi." Mikasa offered a small but sincere smile at him. 

"Are you sure about the temple?" Despite the family not being his priority, Levi cared deeply for Mikasa. She was the closest thing that he has to a little sister. 

"Have you already told him?" In the short few months that he has known Eren, Levi doesn't think he'll take the separation easy with how attached they were to each other. 

Still getting no answer from her, he goes for the jugular. "He's going to lose it. That brat has anger issues." 

"Look who's talking. Are you sure you're not projecting?" she tried to deflect but he didn't take the bait and continued to wait for her answer. 

Mikasa dismissed the thought of Eren's face when they first met. "He's still young, he'll meet more people and get over it." 

Levi only sipped on his tea to stop himself from further commenting. 

"I wish I could see Eren's reaction when he meets his magic tutor." she knows she'd be long gone by the time he revisits his magical studies. 

"You're going to take care of Eren, right? He's still young so someone needs to nudge him in the right direction." it wasn't Mikasa's intention to imply anything but Levi gave her a resigned wistful smile. 

"Yes, I'll even take him with me when… I travel to meet my… friends." She laughed at that. 

He mumbled troublesome brats before shooing her away but not before she went for his weakness "Give Hanji my regards!" Levi glared at her and she scrambled out of the door, lightly giggling at successfully getting a rise out of her cousin. 

***

Eren was vibrating with excitement as he ran up to their spot at the hill with Mikasa closely following behind him. "Hurry up!" Mikasa only smiled exasperatedly but finds herself moving faster at his cajoling. 

It was Mikasa's fifteenth birthday and they'll be spending it on their spot together. Eren's current excitement was quite a contrast with how he was when he first climbed the hill with Mikasa.  

When they first celebrated Eren's tenth birthday, he was determined to return the favor but immediately felt letdown when he found out that her birthday had already passed. She's quick to reassure him that they'll have more birthdays to celebrate together in the future and he liked how that sounded so he shut his mouth. He started scribbling on parchment because he was already planning Mikasa's birthday next year. 

They are already setting things up on their spot underneath their tree. Levi, after giving Mikasa her birthday gift, went out to meet his friends who happened to be in town for some ale. Kevan and Dina were not home as expected but it was alright, their absence was even welcomed as they were happy with just the two of them. 

They were on the carriage on their way home when Mikasa remembered that he forgot to tell Eren about her impending departure. He was sound asleep with his head resting on her lap. She didn't want to put a damper on the day that he planned for her. 

She helplessly stroked his brown hair while thinking of a way to break the news to him. Mikasa speculated in her mind that perhaps it was more for her than for him. She didn't want to break the news yet as if that would somehow delay everything. 

***

"What about…" me? The feeling of everything closing in on him is back. "–our studies?" He felt like Mikasa was talking in another language. 

Mikasa walked slowly towards him as if approaching a wounded animal but he only backed away. "Levi will handle your education until it's time for you to go to the academy." She tried catching his eyes to no avail. "He might be small but he's actually better than me so you'll be okay." It was an attempt to lighten up the mood but it did nothing. She didn't attempt that and remained silent as Eren tried to absorb the news.  

After a long silence, "You'll visit once a year during breaks?" Mikasa winced at Eren's hopeful tone. 

Her throat felt dry and her mouth refused to let him down once more so she only shook her head. 

His nostrils flared and his head jerked up to look at her directly. "Why not?" he got better at masking his emotions but she could tell that behind his question there is this underlying anger and frustration. 

Eren unblinkingly listens to Mikasa's explanation. 

"Nine years?" He suddenly has the urge to break every single thing he can get his hands on but most of all he wanted to beg her to stay.

Thoughts of thrashing anything he can get his hands on were dismissed when Mikasa holds both of his hands because even though he's grieving, he doesn't want to hurt her. 

"I'll write to you every week." She squeezed his hands and tried to crouch down to catch his eyes but he stubbornly refused to look at her. 

"I won't write ba-back." he snapped back. 

Mikasa bit her lip but shook her head to shake off the feeling of rejection. "That's okay… I'll still write to you." 

Mikasa is set to leave in a week. They still do their routines together but there is this tension. 

Eren refused to speak once more, clinging to his silence like a security blanket. 

Even Levi could see the strained atmosphere between Eren and Mikasa. "Quit being a brat. If your sister gets married someday, are you not going to talk to her anymore?" 

Yes. Eren didn't answer and continued to strike at Levi but the older man had enough and hit him at the solar plexus using the back of his sword. Eren backed away and violently coughed. 

"You are an Ackerman now and Ackermans don't do regrets." Eren is an Ackerman now but how could he live without regrets when he doesn't even want to live anymore with the thought of Mikasa being gone?

***  

Mikasa was telling him a bedtime story as usual but unlike before he doesn't chime in or say a word. She swallowed the heartache of being punished with his silence. She closed the book and was preparing to leave when he grabbed the hem of the sleeves of her nightgown to stop her from leaving. 

"Eren, what's wrong?" He didn't say anything and only pulled harder, refusing to meet her eyes. 

"...do you want another story?" Mikasa is just confused. 

Eren growled in frustration. It was the first time that they made eye contact since he learned of her eventual departure. 

Mikasa didn't know for sure if it was his eyes or her growing weariness but she let him yank her back to his bed. She waited for him to say something but he didn't say anything. 

Sleep took her with the view of his blank face stubbornly keeping his eyes on the ceiling. 

When Mikasa's eyes closed, that's when Eren finally turned his head to face her. He stared at her face, to immortalize it in his mind as if he hadn't already. 

She was asleep and he knows she'll be spending the night but he couldn't let go of her sleeves, he doesn't want to let go. Tightening his grip, that's when he allowed himself to be pulled into a dreamless sleep. 

Even with the recent schism and tension between them, they still prefer that rather than spend the last of their days without each other. 

Levi temporarily suspended his lessons with Eren. 

Eren didn't contest Levi's decision and spent his time shadowing Mikasa, even as she did her work to turn over and divide the household duties. 

Mikasa formally introduced him to the key members of the household. She looked at him, wordlessly asking for his consent and he nodded at her. 

Mikasa's voice was still soft but she raised her voice a bit. She clearly wanted her next words to be heeded. There was an authority in her voice when she instructed them to come to him if they needed assistance. "Eren is good with numbers and any problem you present to him, he'll surely find an unconventional way of solving it." He understood the opportunity she was giving him but his heart remained heavy as she was leaving him. 

When all the business of the household was taken care of, Eren and Mikasa used their remaining days dancing. She told him that if he wants dancing lessons for balls and parties, they can hire an etiquette teacher or dance teacher since she doesn't have experience dancing other than with Levi and Eren but the latter insisted on her being the one to teach him by grumbling.

Rather than get annoyed with Eren's moodiness and monosyllabic way of communicating, Mikasa was grateful that at the very least they are communicating again. 

They spent their remaining days hardly talking but also barely leaving each other's side. It was also unspoken how Mikasa would sleep beside Eren now. They spend as much time together as possible but her departure hangs over their heads, a noose sucking the life out of them. Because it will never be enough. 

Their eyes felt heavy but the two of them refused to retire to bed. They stubbornly remained on the Astronomy Tower’s terrace to watch the stars. 

Mikasa broke the silence. "Eren, dance with me?" something about her tone struck a chord in him. Almost like in a trance, he followed Mikasa to the center of the lower dome just underneath the stained glass ceiling where the light of the moon creates a kaleidoscope of colors around them. 

They didn’t dance the waltz or any other dances they practiced in the last few days. They just held each other as closely as physically possible while slowly swaying to the music box’s tune. They didn't say anything the whole time, their heads are also free from thoughts. They just savored the moment of them being so close to each other. 

When the song stopped, Eren slowly let go of Mikasa to close the music box whilst she remained dazed in the middle of the room. He went back for her and pulled her sleeves to guide them back to his room.  

They lay at their sides facing each other. 

“...Eren?” she called out to him in the dark.

“Mikasa,” he answered and she slightly beamed that he was finally talking to her again. 

She couldn't find the words to express herself as words were never her strong suit. 

The dawn is not far away and she'll be leaving soon. When she looks into his eyes all she could feel is the feeling of immense gratitude. 

"Thank you." She thanked him for talking to her again.

"Thank you–" for being someone I could care about. She choked and could only get the word thank you out. A perfectly shaped tear flowed out of her eye when she blinked.

Eren pulled Mikasa close to him and softly wiped her tears with a gentleness he never knew he was ever capable of. Because Mikasa deserves nothing less and she's the only one who ever showed him that he was capable of ever being happy. They were happy. He was happy and now it's over. She's leaving him. 

Mikasa slid closer to Eren. She stroked his hair and rested his head on the nook of her neck. "...thank you, Eren" tears uncontrollably flowed out of her eyes "…for caring about me." Thank you for caring enough about me to get mad that I signed my youth away. 

Eren's eyes burned and a large volume of hot tears steadily flowed out of him. 

The two of them silently cried themselves to sleep holding on to each other in the dark hoping the light would not come at all.

[ultraericthered]

001 for Gundam SEED / SEED Destiny

Favorite character: Flay Allster.

Least Favorite character: Patrick Zala.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): Don’t have any.

Character I find most attractive: Lacus Clyne.

Character I would marry: Cagalli Yula Attha.

Character I would be best friends with: Athrun Zala.

a random thought: Politics and war in Gundam anime is so commonplace, but this is one where I feel the political themes and ethical messages were particularly on point.

An unpopular opinion: Lacus Clyne is actually quite an interesting and competent character and I love her.

My Canon OTP: None.

My Non-canon OTP: None.

Most Badass Character: Lacus Clyne. Yes, really.

Most Epic Villain: Both Rau Le Creuscent and Muruta Azrael achieve this in different ways.

Pairing I am not a fan of: Either Hawke sisters with Shinn or Athrun. C’mon girls, try to do better!

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Pretty much everyone in SEED Destiny, Shinn Asuka most of all - the guy’s VA even thought that SRW did him better justice.

Favourite Friendship: Lacus, Cagalli, and Flay, in the AUs where they’re all friends.

Character I most identify with: Sai Argyle.

Character I wish I could be: Jesus Yamato! (JK)

[deejaidj]

Comparing the elements of Mobile suit Gundam Seed to the original Mobile Suit Gundam

I recently have the chance to watch Mobile Suit Gundam Seed on the official Gundaminfo channel. I am currently 25 episodes in, and to be honest, I like it. I think Mobile Suit Gundam Seed take an interesting approach on the original Mobile Suit Gundam such as the different between Newtypes and Coordinaters. Thus, in this blog, I would like to compare the elements in the two universes.

-Newtypes and Coordinaters

In the original Mobile Suit Gundam, Newtypes are people who have heightened mental awareness as a result of having evolved from living in outer space. While Newtypes tend to be spacenoids, people born on Earth can also become Newtypes such as Amuro Ray who was born on Earth but grow up in a space colony.

Since they comes naturally, Newtypes are quite rare; there are only 9 known newtypes in the original anime.

In Mobile suit Gundam Seed, Coordinators are people that artificially engineered their genes to “have a body capable of greater strength and a brain capable of more knowledge”. As such, in this universe, Coordinater are way more common than Newtypes in the Universal Century as Coordinators can be made by scientists. For example, it is highly likely that all citizens of PLANT, a space based nation, are Coordinaters.

-Zeon and ZAFT

Let start with Zeon. In the original anime, Zeon is a nation in space in the colonies of Side 3. The war between Zeon and Earth Federation started when Degwin Zabi, the leader of Zeon at that time, state that the only way for the nation to be independent, is to fight a war with the Earth Federation. Thus, Zabi appointed his children to military and political offices and pressed for rapid development of military technologies.

ZAFT, which stand for Zodiac Alliance of Freedom Treaty, is a political organization founded by two prominent man: Patrick Zala and Siegel Clyne. At first, it was called Zodiac Alliance, but when more people joined, it change its name to ZAFT. The battle between ZAFT and Earth Alliance started as a result of the conflict between Coordinators and Naturals(people without genetic modification) where many Naturals rejected Coordinators as human out of jealousy of their abilities and/or ethnically reasons. Moreover, Anti-Coordinators groups, such as Blue Cosmos, declared that Coordinators be exterminated “for the blue and pure world”. Thus, to avoid oppression from Naturals, Coordinators are required to live in space colonies called PLANTS while Naturals tried to make Earth as their exclusive domain.

While these two antagonistic groups are different in their approach to being independent/ free from the oppression ,viewers can feel the similarities of the two group such as both having a goal of obtaining freedom and that they have “Z” as their first letter in the name.

-Amuro Ray and Kira Yamato

In Mobile Suit Gundam, Amuro Ray is the main protagonist. After skimming through the Gundam’s manual, Amuro decided to pilot the RX-78-2 Gundam after two Zakus attacked his space colony. With the help of the Gundam’s superior technology, he managed to defeat the two Zakus using Gundam’s Beam Saber. Afterwards, he joined a white spaceship called the White Base to escape from the attacked colony. Unfortunately, due to Amuro being the only person who can pilot the Gundam, he then was commanded by Captain Bright Noa to cover the White Base’s escape. Outside the colony, a light crusier attempted to shot down the White Base by firing missiles at it, but Amuro managed to shoot them down. After leaving an astroid base, Amuro encountered his rival Char Aznable. Char Aznable (aka The Red Comet) is a legendary ace pilot siding with the Republic of Zeon. Piloting a red commander-type Zaku II, Char’ plioting skills proved to be much better than Amuro, but he was unable to destroy the Gundam due to its superior technology. After the encounter, the White Base attempted to re-enter the atmosphere. However, Char suddenly attacked the ship, so Amuro was called to defend again. While he was able drive off Char, the Gundam was unable to return to the ship due to the atmosphere’s pulling force. Still, using the Gundam’s re-entry system, Amuro managed to landed on Earth safely.

The main protagonist of Mobile Suit Gundam Seed is Kira Yamato. Kira is an engineering student on a neutral colony Heliopolis. On a peaceful day, Kira and his friends were on their way to a lab when ZAFT forces suddenly attacked Heliopolis. However, while trying to find to shelters, Kira spilt up from his friend to follow a mysterious young lady, concerned for her safety. As Kira follow her, they found two Earth Alliance Mobile suit: GAT-X105 Strike Gundam and GAT-X303 Aegis Gundam. The young lady was shocked after the revelation of the mobile suits. Kira then find her a shelter to escape. However, since the shelter was already full, Kira was forced to find another one. While finding another shelter, Kira noticed a fight between a ZAFT soldier and an Earth Alliance officer. Seeing that the officer was in danger, Kira alerted the officer of an another ZAFT soldier. As Kira helped the officer Murrue Ramius, he recognized an approaching ZAFT soldier as his childhood friend Athrun Zala. After an encounter with his old friend, Kira find himself in GAT-X105 Strike Gundam with EA officer Murrue Ramius fighting an other ZAFT mobile suit GINN. At first, officer Ramius struggled to control the Gundam, but after quickly studying and adjusting the operating system, Kira piloted the Gundam to fight the GINN, which resulted in the Gundam victory. After the fight, Kira, officer Ramius and his friends escaped the the collapsing colony in white spaceship call the Archangel. However, not long after leaving the colony, the Archangel was attacked by four elite ZAFT soldiers each piloting a Gundam stolen from Heliopolis. Kira was then forced to sortie to help defend the Archangel. However, one of the ZAFT pilot is none other than Kira’s childhood friend Athrun Zala, who is piloting a red GAT-X303 Aegis Gundam. While trying to sink the spaceship, Athrun tried to pursue Kira to join him and others in ZAFT, but Kira responded that he had friends he want to protect on the Archangel.

The two protagonists are similar in many ways: they both have special powers, they pilot the Gundam,and their rival’s mobile suit color is red. However, there is one difference that I think is interesting and that is for Kira his rival is his childhood friend. This relationship make Mobile Suit Gundam Seed a lot more appealing 

-Operation British and Bloody Valentine incident 

Operation British, codename for the colony drop incident in the original Mobile Suit Gundam anime, is a plan devised by the principality of Zeon to drop a space colony onto Jaburo, where the Federation military base is located. The damage done by this operation would, the Zeon hope, to allow the Federation to sign a treaty with the Zeon. However, after the colony enter the atmosphere, it broke apart resulting in the colony to missed Jaburo. Instead, the a part of the colony hit Sydney, Australia resulting in many unexpected casualties 

The Bloody Valentine incident refers to a conflict which resulted in many deaths of innocents in the space colony Junius Seven. The Junius 7, 8, 9, and 10 are agricultural colonies that provide food for the PLANT,. However, other nations didn’t like that PLANT being able to make their own food, so they began making intimidation maneuvers by sending fleets towards the Junius colonies. However, these vessels are intercepted by PLANT’s mobile suit GINN, leading to a war. Three days after the war began, a mobile armor TS-MA2 Moebius secretly loaded with nuclear missiles join a fleet of the Earth Alliance to attack PLANT defense force. During the fierce battle between the two forces , the Roosevelt, the mobile armor that load nuclear missiles, deployed the missile to Junius seven, completely destroying it. The incident resulted in death of 243,721 civilians and one of them was Lenore Zala, the wife of PLANT council member Patrick Zala.

These two events are similar in a way that both are tragedies in the two universes and fuel the intensity of the war after them.

[kayura-sanada]

Honestly, for the writers at Bioware to be so woke and SJW and stuff, and then I see characters like Vivienne and their love of Orlais and their decadent cruelty and snobbery, I kind of wonder about them sometimes lol...

Lol. It's definitely a writer thing. No writer creates characters a person ends up loving without also creating characters a person ends up hating. Every great hero needs a great villain. I mean, the writers of Batman created the Joker and Scarecrow. Kira Yamato and Patrick Zala were written by the same people. Etc, etc.

In Bioware's defense, they made Vivienne have a moment of caring about Cole, despite how cruel and selfish and manipulative she is. She refused to act on it, despised that moment in herself, and became even more manipulative and power-hungry in response... but they did write the moment when she could have chosen to change. They just also wrote her in the way that was truest to her, and had her turn away from it.

[incorrectcosmicera]

Athrun, age 5, on a ladder: I'm scared, dad!

Patrick: Do you trust me son?

Athrun: Yes?

Patrick: Come on, son!

Patrick, walking away when Athrun falls: Rule number one, never trust anybody!

[assassinsnarkster]

Patrick Zala

A man who lost his wife and became the leader of the plants in order to gain the power to exact his vengeance on all the naturals for her death.

Athrun Zala

A man who became a zaft soldier again in order to protect the ones he loves but now, he becomes a orb commander who protects the future.

Man...The Zalas will do anything for Love and Power.

[dearkaelsman]

//I give you Fire Lord Patrick Zala.

[nerd4anime]

RIP😢😢😢😢

Voice actor Kinryu Arimoto began his career in the mid-1960s. Since then, he lent his vocal talents to numerous anime. Perhaps his most famous role was the One Piece pirate Edward Newgate (aka “Whitebeard”). Today it was announced that Arimoto has passed away.

Besides Whitebeard, Arimoto voiced Commissioner Nogami in City Hunter, Patrick Zala in Gundam Seed and Tomomi Masaoka in Psycho-Pass, among many others. He also did a fair bit of Japanese dubbing for big Hollywood films.

Livedoor News reports that Arimoto passed away on February 1. He was 78 years old and had been suffering from esophageal cancer since last year. May he Rest In Peace.

[thepinksongstress]

It has been over a week since Lacus had given zafts new weapon to Kira, now her and her father were being hunted down by Patrick Zala. She was labeled a traitor to her own nation, the once loved idol was now on the run from zaft. While in hiding she used voice broadcasting equipment, to get her voice heard across the Nation and every time they thought they found her she was already gone before the military showed up. They could tell that Patrick was getting frustrated with his broadcasting, trying to get the people to reveal where she's hiding. Lacus even managed to see Athrun before she went into hiding, she knew he was a good person he just needed a push to see what his father was doing is wrong. 

Lacus would sigh softly as her dear haro was bouncing around wildly, he was always a hyper one though Athrun doesn't believe he had a mind of his own. She then started thinking about her father and what will happen if he is caught, though she was afraid at this moment she knew she had to be strong no matter what. Even though she wanted to cry at this moment in time, she told herself that she would remain strong and be the voice of peace. She believed in her Nation and hoped they could see past Patrick's words, the fighting had to stop innocent people were dying causing more hatred to spread. Her words always came straight from her heart, and she was not going to give up no matter how hard life gets.

Miss Lacus Clyne the daughter chairman Siegel Clyne a popular idol and a diplomat, she believed and making a difference and a more peaceful life for others. She would do anything she could to strive for this kind of peace, her songs for a very part of her soul and hopes for a better future. Though nothing comes without sacrifice however she hoped that no one else would have to die, coordinators and naturals they were all still just people. Their lives have meaning and to fight over silly things as being born naturally or artificially is ridiculous, they were all given life to live not to throw it away. Lacus found a chair in the small room she was in as they started to set up her broadcasting equipment, she wanted to get her voice out there one last time, hoping to inspire others. 

"We must understand that the people of Earth are our brothers and sisters. We Coordinators haven't somehow evolved into a separate species, we are all still human beings no matter what. Why must we hate each other? Why must we send our loved ones to die at war? Let us end this fighting now! from now on, I Lacus Clyne will be singing the song... of peace."

Her broadcast ended and she let out a small sigh of relief she could only hope that her words reached others heart, this war had to end they were losing too many loved ones. Lacus would take a peek out the window to see her friend came in a told her it was time to leave, she was used to it by now and as they were out the door he received a call. Her heart sank into her chest he looked at her with a worried look, it could only mean one thing: something happened to her father as much as she wanted to cry she had to stay strong. Their next stop was the Eternal ship where her friend would be waiting for her, while her friend went to go and save Athrun who would be in trouble soon. They went quickly because it wouldn't be long until the zaft soldiers would show up to arrest her, Lacus was ready to fight for what she believed was right and the peace she wanted.

She runs into the car wearing a purple cloak to hide herself as the driver started to head towards where the ships were, looking out the window as haro was bouncing around she couldn't help but giggle. The time was now for them to take over the Eternal and soon she would be fighting on the front lines, she was nervous but believed it was the right thing for her to do. It wasn't long before they had gotten word that they had taken over the ship, as they were in the elevator and going up mr.pink was going crazy she calmed him down. They had reached their destination has she changed her clothes, she was now wearing a purple kimono under the white jacket,with yellow edges this was her commander outfit. She quickly enter the cockpit of the ship, and as she made her way to her seat her friend Andrew greeted her.

"Hold on princess it's going to be a bumpy ride"

Lacus was ready for it though it was time to join her friends on the battlefield, this is going to be her very first fight. Where this may lead nobody knows.

[haropla]

Gundam SEED Episodes 31-33 (Part 1)

So. Say you have a top secret military weapon that you don’t want anybody to make off with. You would want it to be well-protected, right? 

YOU WOULD STATION MORE THAN JUST TWO GUARDS AS A SECURITY MEASURE, RIGHT?

And you just won the election! But your political rival makes no attempt to hide that he directly opposes your agenda. You’d probably keep your eye on him, and keep him away from your stuff, right? You wouldn’t let him, much less his idol daughter gain access to a top secret military weapon, right? 

BUT NOPE. LACUS CLYNE AND KIRA YAMATO JUST. WALK IN AND TAKE THE FREEDOM GUNDAM. 

Alright, there’s so many things wrong with this series of events in particular, but instead of pointing out how stupid it is, let’s sit down and fix it while still keeping the basic idea of Lacus giving the brand new mobile suit to Kira . 

So. SEED mentions a moderate faction only once. Specifically, it is the now-minority opinion in the PLANTs that a ceasefire should be called, and this faction is headed by Lacus’ father, who had just lost an election to someone that calls for a continued war effort. 

There could have been something of a coup that resulted from this political shift. Maybe Lacus and her father would still have those loyal to their cause of ending the war through less violent means. And one could imagine that in a more competently-written series, Patrick Zala would surround the Freedom Gundam with soldiers loyal to the goal of continuing the war. At the very least, have soldiers that are less high-minded about the power struggle and only follow whoever’s really in charge.

Lacus and her father have obviously committed to the idea that Kira is the only one who can use the Freedom for the purpose of ending the conflict. There could have been a scene where those loyal to Lacus and her father would clash with those that follow Athrun’s father. And there could have been a scene where Kira remains less of a neutral character and makes his attentions known to both factions. That he is a civilian that has seen the horrors the war has produced and wishes for it all to end. 

Maybe he makes a speech about how the war has even divided the previously-united PLANT citizens into fighting like they are now. He could even echo Andrew’s words and say that the fighting doesn’t need to stop when everyone in the room is dead. It could stop by letting Kira have the Freedom and personally ending the conflict himself so no one has to fight like they are now. 

Well-written flat characters do exist, and they can also be protagonists, but Kira is not one of them. Kira makes no real personal journey in Gundam SEED but at the very least, he could have some growth as a character by making the exact same thing he was whining about in the beginning of the series become a rallying cry “Let’s make the fighting stop.” 

BUT NOPE. 

JUST. GIVE THE FREEDOM GUNDAM AWAY I GUESS. 

[wbemipre1997]

Well, @benbsinger & @chadscrewattack & @screwattackk & @rtstore_screwattack, Guess What, This Year, @baileyashaki & I Want To See 3D Death Battle! Episode Rau Le Creuest VS JAFAR (Gundam SEED VS ALADDIN) With These Voice Actors or Fan Voice Actors, Like 3D Characters Are Rau Le Creuest, Jafar, Snake Jafar & Jafar Genie, Sato From GSD, Gilbert Durandal, Patrick Zala and Also Patrick Zala’s Evil 2D Character Sidekicks Long Feng, Amon & Tarrlok And Eustace Bagge & Muriel & Courage And The Spirit of the Harvest Moon, 3D Darth Vader & Emperor Palpatine & Galactic Empire, Lex Luthor, The Joker & Gotham Evil Villains, Zombozo & His Clowns, Cobra Commander From GI Joe Valor VS Venom, Megatron & Decepticons, Darkseid, The Drej From Titan A.E. And Also The Drej From The Future From Titan A.E. Too And Jafar's Evil 3D Character Sidekicks Are Dr.Doom & Loki, 2D EG Snip & Snails, Montana Max, Snowball From Pinky & The Brain, The HIVE From Teen Titans GO!, Brittany Wong & Justin Armberg, Mojo Jojo, HIM, Princess Morbucks & Fuzzy And The Other 2D Character Guys are Lincoln Loud & His Family & Clyde McBride, Ronnie Anne & Bobby, Moon Butterfly & River Butterfly, EG Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle & Scootaloo, Bugs & Daffy & Porky & Taz & Yosemite Sam & Speedy From The Looney Tunes Show, Big Dog & Little Dog & Wrong Guy From 2 Stupid Dogs, Greg Universe, Doug & Priyanka Maheswaran, Rafael & Angie Diaz, EG Diamond Tiara & Silver Spoon And Those Other 3D Shadow Blank Citizens Are Having a Party with 3D Deadpool On The Moon And The Other 2D Characters Are Star & Marco & Daydream Shimmer And The Other 3D Characters Are Superman & Batman & Justice League International, Avengers, GI Joe, Optumis Prime & The Autobots, Wake Angels From Titan A.E. And Wake Angels From The Future From Titan A.E. Too, Ben 10 And The Teen Titans From Teen Titans GO! #deathbattle #raulecreuset #providencegundam #zaft #gundamseed #jafar #jafargenie #aladdin #kingdomhearts #aladdintrilogy #thereturnofjafar #disney #disneyvillains #marvel #deadpool #starwarsdarthvader #starwarsemperorpalpatine #galacticempire #snipandsnails #equestriagirls #dccomics #darkseid #svtfoe #starvstheforcesofevil #su #stevenuniverse (at San Jose, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/BnrigFqlWwt/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=5gxv0620h1jf

[shin-hero-buster]

the faceless, nameless ZAFT soldier who capped Patrick Zala as he was blatantly going off the deep end is the true protagonist of SEED