#Paul's backside will not be denied

[waveofahand]

On Paul “going commando”

There are a number of photographs of Paul McCartney that prove not only did the boy like his inseams high and tight but that he also went without drawers quite a lot. Possibly, this is because he wore his pants so tight there was no room for them, but I’ve often thought, well, that’s not terribly sanitary or thoughtful to the wardrobe people. Still. It really does look to me like the only time he dependably wore underwear was when filming movies. Probably was forced to. 

I’m going to share several pics that bear out my thinking but this one first. Because it surprised me. This is 1965, as they were getting into their suits for the Shea Stadium concert. One of the Beatles must held up a camera -- knowing Paul’s proclivities -- and dared him to disrobe for it. Paul seems to dare them right back. “Go ahead, take the pic, I dare ya!” A game of chicken, so to speak.

At first glance, one thinks he’s unzipped and showing off his tighty whitey. But... on closer inspection, one sees that... oh... something has been WHITED OUT in that picture! You can confirm it because part of his middle fingertip is also under the white. 

Just look UNDER the white smears (which are NOT fabric, but drawn in). You can see the human flesh beneath. 

And there you have it. Whoever dared him, got the full frontal treatment. Paul McCartney clearly had no insecurities about his manhood. A few more “commando” shots where we see no indication of a brief line -- or that there was room for underpants: 

The jury is out o this one. There MIGHT be a faint pantyline... maybe.

Jury is also out on this one. I think he’s commando. Thoughts? 

FINALLY! A CLEAR PANTY LINE! And it looks like they needed to add a side panel to fit it! 

Ridiculous, beautiful, nasty commando boy. I know people call him “the most baby of all times” (and I think that’s probably right) but some others call him a “slut” and... well... I’m going to just say he’s a man comfortable in his own skin, probably promiscuous, who liked to get himself teased a little with his own frictions throughout the day.  One more for posterity. Or... posteriority! 

[peakyscillian]

It's my birthday | Cillian x Fem!Reader | One Shot |

Summary: It's your birthday & you know what you want. Requests: Not so much a request but a fic swap for our birthday month with @janelongxox Warnings: Smut/langauge A/N: Happy Birthday Girl! Enjoy this fic, thank you for letting me always talk about our Cilly!

It's my birthday.

The party was in full swing, everyone had a drink in their hand, you were stood with your girlfriends, you'd been away on location with Cillian and you had catching up to do, but it was your birthday and you knew you should be mingling with your guests.

Cillian had managed to pull off the ultimate surprise party, coordinating all the arrangements with your best friend in Dublin whilst you were both in Manchester. He'd even picked out a dress, which much to his relief you loved the moment you slipped it on that evening, his hand had run down your exposed back, stopping just before the curve of your backside, before he dropped his lips to the exposed warm skin of your neck making you suggest you forgot about dinner and stayed home.

He'd given you a coy smile, shook his head "plenty of time for that, birthday girl" he had teased, a gentle kiss to your painted lips before he grabbed his suit jacket and exited the room, leaving you with a dull throb between your thighs.

Your eyes caught him over with a few of your family members, your gaze dropping to his fingers, thick and long curled around the glass of Guinness as he spoke to your uncle, you felt the throb return to your core at the thought of those fingers, dragging under your tiny piece of underwear.

"Happy Birthday, Y/N" the voice made you jump slightly, you spun round face to face with Paul and Joe.

"Thank you, when did you two get here? Left you in Manchester under twelve hours ago" you laughed lightly as they hugged you in turn.

"Got the flight after you and Cill" Joe admitted

You laughed "so you were in the airport with us, why am I so oblivious to everything"

"Where is he? The big party planner, haven't heard about anything else for weeks, if this is your twenty fifth I can't wait for you to turn thirty" Paul winked.

You batted at his chest not wanting to think about leaving your twenties "he's over with my uncles, they're probably embarrassing me"

They excused themselves making their way to their friend and co-star, you were determined to distract yourself from thinking of all the sinful things you wanted Cillian to do to you.

You were waiting at the bar, when you felt the two arms slip around your waist, a firm body pressed into your back "my birthday girl" his breath fanned across your skin, igniting it with goosebumps.

You turned in his arms, back resting against the cool wood of the bar, arms instantly snaking around his neck "m' missed you"

He smiled, lips pressing softly to yours, hands on your hips kneading them through the material of your dress.

"I've been right here" he barely pulled his face away from yours, eyes locked together.

"I know, you've been the perfect host, want to be alone" you almost whined, hips moving to push ever so slightly against his.

Cillian changed his grip on your hips, firmly pressing you against the bar "later, I told you" he nipped at your bottom lip.

You felt the rush of pleasure run through you, his stern voice, the pressure on your hips, you nodded fingers running across the slightly out grown shaved back of his head.

"Cillian, uhm sorry but we need you in the back" your friend was awkwardly stood beside you both, you smiled at her as Cillian moved away.

"Be right back" he kissed you again, before they left you to sort out party business. You sighed grabbing your glass of wine and heading for Natasha, Sophie and Aimee who had also snuck into Dublin without you knowing.

The cake had been extravagant knowing that was all down to your friends, Cillian had held you close to his side as everyone sung you happy birthday, his voice low and vibrating in your ear. You'd hugged your girlfriends right after blowing out the candles, feeling so blessed to have this life.

A few wines and shots with Cillian's co-stars later the party was dying down, people calling taxis and heading to their hotels, you were on the dance floor, Aimee and Sophie ending the night with you, Cillian interrupted you all asking if he was allowed to take you home.

Sophie had made a lewd comment causing him to act like the older brother he played on screen, she rolled her eyes at him as they hugged goodbye.

Finally you were in the back of the booked car, you were hungry for him, lips pressing hot bursts of kisses across his neck, where he'd popped a few buttons undone as the night went on, your hand snaked its way into the opening pressing a warm palm against his cool skin.

"Baby...baby" he lifted your chin up to stop the assault of your lips "we'll be home so soon" he stated.

You whined, hand running across the bulge in his tight dress pants "just want you" you whispered sitting back in the seat trying to control yourself.

Cillian hadn't even got you fully through the door and you were kicking your heels off, attaching yourself back on his lips, feverish kisses leaving between wanting mewls.

"hey..hey what's got into you" he smirked scooping you up in his arms.

"I just need you, need you to touch me" you begged, as he carried you effortlessly up the stairs.

He dropped you on the bed, eyes scanning your body, licking his lips, he'd been so controlled all evening, holding off all your advances the best he could but now he was ready to ravish you, tease you into falling apart around him.

Your body was writhing on the bed, without any contact with him, just his gaze burning into you was enough to get you worked up.

"Cillian" you whimpered getting frustrated with the way he wasn't paying any attention to you.

He smiled, finally crawling over your body, pressing his hips to yours to stop you moving "yes? Birthday girl" a smirk tugged onto his face.

"Please" you whispered fingers fumbling with the buttons on his fitted shirt

"What do you want?" He was teasing you, you were so close to screaming at him for his hands to be on you.

"Just...fuck touch me" you begged eyes wide

Cillian brushed some hair from your face, fingertips feathered against your skin "where?"

You were biting your lip, tears pushing against the brim of your eyes in frustration "everywhere"

Cillian tusked, dropping a faint kiss to the side of your lips "show me or I can't help"

You groaned head thrown back, grabbing for his hands "I want your fingers in me, I want them pressed against my clit"

"You only had to say" he teased, lifting the hem of your dress up your body, you sat up letting him pull it off you, revealing your bare breasts and the barely there underwear.

"Been walking around like this all evening" he ran his fingertips over your breasts "if only I'd known" he tweaked your nipple between his thumb and forefinger, pulling a gasp from your mouth.

"Shit please Cill don't tease me" you were barely able to form a sentence, hips moving off the bed.

"Baby, you need to be patient it's your birthday after all" he nuzzled into your neck, lapping his tongue against your sweet skin.

"I should get what I want" you pouted, grabbing for his hand, pushing it down to the edge of your underwear.

He rested his hand just above your mound, tutting at you once again "I've got a bratty birthday girl on my hands huh?"

You bit your lip, nodded at him because you couldn't deny it "Cillian I swear-"

You didn't have time to finish as his hand plunged into the thin material, hand cupping at your soaking pussy, thumb brushing over your clit "oh uhh fuck" you sighed feeling some pressure being relieved from your core.

"Been this wet all night baby?" He asked slowly pushing his finger into your cunt, you nodded "yea...yes all for you Cillian" you panted eyes closing in pure ecstasy. He pulled your underwear down your legs, dropping it on the floor, as you spread your legs from him. Cillian was working you up, adding another finger in as you squirmed under his touch. Stretching you for him, you moaned as he added a third finger, curling up to your soft g-spot, tapping on the area before roughly brushing his fingers over it, thumb pressed on your clit, he could feel your walls clenching and unclenching around his fingers, your panting breaths indicating you were already close.

"You can let go as long as you come around my cock later" his lips were pressed against the shell of your ear.

You nodded erratically, holding onto his biceps, with one final stroke of your g-spot, added pressure on your clit you were unraveling under him, head thrown into the mattress, legs shaking as he carried on pumping his fingers into your tightening pussy.

Your hands were grabbing for the zip on Cillian's trousers, he chuckled lightly batting your hand away "no touching, it's all about you, you've been so good"

He stood up discarding his trousers and boxers, you almost cried out in pleasure at the sight of his hard cock standing to attention, veins nearly pulsing with the tension.

Cillian crawled back over your heated body, running the head of his cock against your slick folds, you could swear your body was on fire, you needed release again, needed him inside you.

"Cillian, baby please" you whimpered propping yourself up on your elbows, watching him dip the tip of his cock into you.

"Want me to fuck you eh?" He smiled his charming smile, you jerked your hips trying to get him inside your clenching pussy.

"Yes fuck me please" you mumbled, voice breaking with the pressure growing in your abdomen, he nodded finally pushing forward, filling you completely in one swift move, stretching you, sending a wave of pleasure over your whole body.

Cillian's blue eyes had turned a shade or two darker, his hands on your hips pulling you to meet his thrusts , legs wrapped around his waist, he lifted you off the mattress, as he knelt onto the soft duvet, using his hands to guide you up and back down in a perfect rhythm.

Sweat was building on his forehead, your hair once perfectly curled for your party was sticking to your back and forehead, your sticky bodies hitting together as he pounded into you, losing the strength to hold you up, he dropped you back, not stopping his thrusts as he lent over you.

His lips wrapping around your erect nipple sucking and nipping, your hands were tugging at the hair on top of his head the perfect length for getting your fingers into.

"You look so fucking beautiful" he was pressing his lips to your collarbone, nose nudging your jaw before he finally kissed you, biting at your lip before his tongue slipped into your warm mouth, hips still snapping into yours.

"Fuck..Cillian, this is amazing" you sighed hands cupping at his face. Eyes locked with his intense and wide as the tip of his cock brushed your g-spot, he knew exactly how to angle his hips to find it.

"Just treating my birthday girl to what she deserves, looking fucking gorgeous all evening, dancing with her friends grinding them to tease me" his hand grabbed at the flesh of your backside, kneading it with a rough squeeze as he pulled your leg to sit flush against his hip.

"Just wanted you to take me home, all night wanted to be alone with my man" you confessed, nails scratching down his back in appreciation.

"People whispering about me being too old for you I heard them, but does any else make you feel this good?" He asked stalling his hips, his cock resting inside your needy cunt.

You shook your head "never, only you, you're not too old, you're mine" you pushed your hips off the bed, needing some friction from him anything.

He was peppering kisses across your face, you claiming him as your own making his hips snap faster into you, you were moaning with no stop from the sweet noises leaving your mouth, he was so close his abdomen tightening, the feeling of his cock twitching against your walls, he was panting, forehead pressed with yours. "I can't hold out much longer" he confessed, you moved your hips causing a primal moan to pull from his throat. "Cum in me Cill.. let go for me" you were circling your hips, causing a friction between you both, then his hips stalled, thrust sloppy as he came in you, pushing you over the edge for the second time, calling out his name as you done so. Cillian was still on top of you, holding himself up by his forearms on the bed, "Happy Birthday, baby" he smiled slowly dragging himself from your swollen pussy, rolling to lay beside you.

The feeling of his cum dripping between your thighs was something you wouldn't ever get bored of, having decided that you being on birth control was enough to not use protection after about four months of being together. "Best present ever" your hand ran across his cheek cupping his jaw. "oh there's more" he stood up, you watched him cross the room, his bare bum was sculpted perfectly, he returned from the walk-in wardrobe, your mouth pratically watering at the sight of him, still semi-hard as he made his way back to you, three gift bags in his hand. "I like this present best" you giggled fingers grazing across his cock, he let out a low groan, gift bags discarded on the floor as you crawled across the bed on your knee's, licking your lips ready for the sweetest gift of all.

*** Taglist. @janelongxox @missymurphy1985 @queenshelby @datewithgianni @cloudofdisney @elenavampire21 @being-worthy @uchihacumdump @magicalpieex

[theyreonlynoodlesmike]

request thingy: poly lost boys with a femSO: the SO teasing the boys until they just finally snap so to speak ;)

Ohhhhhh ho ho. Let’s get into it! Obviously, this is gonna be nsfw

Poly!Lost Boys x Fem!S/O That Teases Them Until They Snap

Warning: NSFW

You want to tease them? Them? Honey, you must have a death wish. Or, at least, a wish for a limp for the next week. You’re dating four of the most terrifying, and needy, boys in Santa Carla. The minute you walk onto the boardwalk in a bikini top, and a short skirt, their eyes either fall to your legs or your tits. You play it off by holding a beach bag and a having a new tan, as if you just spent your entire day sunning at the beach.

Paul will let out a loud whistle when he sees you, and he’ll practically yell, “Damn, sugar, what’s the occasion?” He runs right up to you, ready to pull you in for a kiss, and, when you give him nothing more than a peck before pulling away, he’s practically whimpering after you. You give each of the boys a hug, pressing your chest against all of them and it has varying effects. David narrows his eyes down at you, and he clearly knows that you’re up to something. He doesn’t give you more than a hug. Marko will wrap his arms tight around your waist, pulling your chest even closer against his so he can feel your tits. He might even reach down to give your ass a soft squeeze. Dwayne will give you a peck on the cheek before commenting that you look pretty. It’s like he completely doesn’t notice the attire that you’re in, but really he’s too respectful to say anything. You know some of the boys will be harder to crack than others, but you came prepared.

You have a different way to crack each boy, but Paul is the easiest. Now that he’s seen skin, it’s obvious that he wants you. The best way to tease is to deny him what he wants. You slap away his hands, ignore all his one-liners, and shower the others in attention instead. At first, he’s whining and pouting like the big baby that he is. He never gives up and he still tries, and it’s not until you tell him that he’s being naughty that he finally catches on. The slight suggestiveness of your voice, the change in tone, makes him realize that you’ve been teasing him. Wrong move, babe. He snaps like a twig the minute he realizes, and he’s dragging you into the nearest alleyway. You want to play? He’ll play. He gets on his knees and wraps your legs over his shoulders. He dives in-between your legs and flattens his tongue as he drags it slowly against your clit. He savors your moans and he smirks to himself. Yeah, that’s what he thought. He makes you come and then he’s trading his shoulders for his hips. Paul does his best to make sure all of Santa Carla can hear his hips clapping against yours, and he rips your top down just so he can watch your tits bounce. He whispers dirty words, saying, “Oh, I hope we get caught, sugar. I hope someone else sees just how fucking slutty you look for my cock. Say my name, sugar. I want all of Santa Carla to know who’s fucking you.” Afterwards, he doesn’t even try to help you clean up. He’s plopping you right back on your trembling legs, fixing himself up, and then waltzing out of the alleyway so you’re the one that has to trail after him. You have to go to the bathroom to clean his load off from where it was dripping down your legs, and when you slap his shoulder he tells you, “Should’ve worn underwear then, sugar.”

Marko is a little bit harder, but not by much. He’s even more of a tease than you are, and the second you walked onto the boardwalk he knew exactly what you were trying to do. He responds by teasing the shit out of you right back. You press your ass against his crotch? He somehow manages to sneak a quick twist of your nipple. You scratch your nails down his stomach? He’ll nip you right under your ear. You kiss his neck? Be careful or he’s reaching under that skirt. If you tease him too much, he’s not afraid to finger you on the rollercoaster. He slips his hand underneath your skirt and growls when he finds that you’re not wearing any underwear. He’ll suck hickeys into your neck and make you come on his fingers, and you can disguise your cries behind the screams of the other riders. While you two wait in line for the ferris wheel, he’ll wrap both his arms around your waist and grind his hips against your backside ever so slightly. He doesn’t care who sees. He just wants you to know that by teasing him, you’re signing yourself up for a world of trouble. Especially since he hasn’t gotten to get his rocks off yet. When you two get in the carriage, he barely waits for the attendant to start spinning before he’s yanking you onto his lap. You want to tease him? Fine, then you’re doing all the work. He has you ride him, and he’ll say, “You better move those hips quick, dollface.” He doesn’t care if anyone sees, and he might use a few mindtricks on the attendant just to make sure he gets to finish before the ride stops. He pulls you off so he can finish in your mouth, and you better not try to drag it out. He’s got himself back in his pants and is completely satisfied by the time you two step out.

Dwayne is one of the harder nuts to crack. He simply just doesn’t want to assume that you’re dressing that way for his benefit. Even if he does think you look rather ravishing. He prefers to think that girls can dress however they like, and it’s not until he finds the panties that you snuck into his pocket that he realizes oh, you’re definitely doing this on purpose. You had said you wanted something to eat, ice-cream was your go-to, and Dwayne was the one to take you. It was placed right in the pocket with all his cash, where you knew he’d find it. He’ll arch a brow at you when he’s fishing for change, and stare at you with a look that just says oh, you are so dead. He has to somehow manage to get his cash out without pulling out your pair of panties with it, and he’s thoroughly embarrassed by the time he’s paid for your ice-cream. He’ll look over to glare at you, just in time to watch you give the treat a long, suggestive lick. Even though he just bought that for you, he’s ripping it from your hands, throwing it to the ground, and dragging you into the nearest building. It just so happens to be a clothing shop, and he drags you to the dressing rooms. He locks it behind you two, presses your front against the mirror, and is slipping inside you before you can even help him get your skirt up. He has to fuck you quick and quietly, and he slides his fingers in your mouth to keep you silent. He groans softly against your shoulder, and you’re in heaven when you feel the way his hips snap against yours. He pulls down your top so he can twirl your nipples between his fingers, and you whine around his fingers. He only delves them deeper into your mouth, and he whispers into your ear, “Is this what you wanted, huh?” And he has to bite down on your shoulder to keep himself quiet as he comes. He was *this close* to breaking skin. He empties himself inside you, and fishes your underwear out of his pocket. He lets you wear it, just to stop it from leaking out down your thighs. He won’t admit later that knowing you’re walking around with his come inside your panties turned him on enough that he almost considered a round two.

David is by far the hardest to crack. He knows you’re up to something, and he doesn’t like to be teased. He ignores you for majority of the night, clearly suspicious of your change in attire and attitude. He lets you play with Marko, and watches in amusement as Paul trails after you looking more and more pouty as each moment passes. He’s even amused by how Dwayne seems to be completely ignoring all your advances for the sake of thinking he was imagining them. Then, he notices how each boy sends you a satisfied smirk. He watches Paul take a handful of your ass, and this time you don’t swat him away. He watches Marko whisper in your ear. Finally, he sees Dwayne give your ass a rare pinch. David realizes, in that moment, that he’s next. 

He watches you walk up to him, and he narrows his eyes down at you. You know that he’s not someone to be messed with. Teasing him is asking for a punishment. All you have to do is reach down and ghost your fingers against his clothed groin, and he’s snatching your wrist. “You’re being a bad girl, kitten. Are you sure this is how you want to play?” He asks, and there’s a clear warning in his voice. When you give him a wide smile and lean into him, pressing your tits against his chest, and say, “Why, you gonna punish me, daddy?” And there was the final straw. You were only ever allowed to call David that when you were back at the cave, and when you two were completely alone.

David has you ride with him back to the cave, and he tells the boys to give him a two hour head start. David shakes his head when you smirk into his shoulder on the ride back. He drags you to the couch, throws you over his lap, rips up your skirt, and spanks you until your ass is a sorry shade of red. He doesn’t stop until you’re nearly in tears, and he fingers you nice and slow once he thinks you’ve learned your lesson. He spends the first hour drawing it out, and he doesn’t even let you come. The second hour is spent with your wrists tied above your head and to the headboard as he fucks you into the bed of your little cot. He doesn’t touch you and he doesn’t kiss you. No matter how much you whine and beg, the only skin-on-skin contact he gives you is his hands holding your legs open wide enough that it aches. He doesn’t let you finish, and he paints his come all over your stomach and chest. He pulls away with a satisfied sigh, and says, “Only good girls get to come, and only good girls get my come inside him. You don’t get either, kitten.” 

When the boys come crashing down into the cave, David sends you a cruel smirk. He climbs off the bed, leaving you tied up and bare. “Have at her, boys.” He says as he stalks back to his wheelchair, content to watch with a cigarette between his lips as the other three vampires are quick to pounce on you.

[nazghoulz]

The Definitive Ranking of Richard Armitage’s Acting Roles, Rated Exclusively by How Hot I Find Him In Screengrabs

Richard Armitage. As a diehard Thorin Oakenshield fan I certainly have a complicated relationship with him, mainly because I can never decide if I find him inherently hot or not. On the one hand, I’m a hardcore Thorinfucker. On the other hand my gay ass sees a headshot of Mr. Armitage and I’m just like, “Oh, no thank you.” So in order to set myself to rights, I have gone through Mr. Armitage’s IMDB and done a definitive ranking of all his 44 screen roles on there, based completely and arbitrarily on how hot I find him in screenshots. (Thank you to all the hardcore Armitage Fuckers who keep wordpress blogs with screengrabs of his various cameos and bit parts; my respect for you cannot be put into words.) I haven’t seen like 90% of these properties, and I didn’t bother to research them, so these are mainly just gut first impressions. I hope this helps anyone else out there who as confused by him as I am. Enjoy ?

44. Father Quart in The Seville Communion/The Man From Rome (2020)   — ??/10

I don’t think this movie is out yet? Idk I haven’t been able to find any stills of him, let alone much information about the movie itself. It’s listed on his IMDB though! And apparently he’s playing a priest...which could be extremely  👁️👁️ if done correctly.

43. Unnamed Naboo Fighter Pilot in Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999) — 1/10

OH SWEETIE NO!!!!! This physically pains me to say this, because I unironically love this terrible movie with my whole heart, but unlike a yung Kiera Knightley’s role (pictured front and center) as Padmé’s loyal body double Sabé, this is probably a cameo that we would all like to forget about. The only thing Richard has to offer is this unfortunate turtle-faced realness. This helmet does him no favors.

42. Man in Pub in Boon (1992) — 2/10

As far as I know this is Richard’s first acting credit on IMDB, and he for sure is working the background extra energy. Go on girl give us nothing! He does have a decent backside though, and it’s better than looking at unfortunate turtle face, so I give this one a 2.

41. Paul Andrews in Between the Sheets (2003)  — 2/10

I can’t really articulate why, but I absolutely despise every screenshot I see of Richard Armitage in this role. He is completely unhot, and not even in a way I can laugh at. He takes no advantage of his assets, he has no charisma, no magnetism, no nothing. This is Richard Armitage at his most white bread rando, in a way that makes me actively dislike him. Pbbbbttth. Bad. Throw this whole thing away.

40. Craig Parker in Casualty (2001)  — 2/10

I don’t know, it’s like the perfect storm of the gelled 2001 hair, the terrible quarter? eighth? zip sweater, and overall, er, skeezy vibes that he gives off that makes him particularly unhot in this role. Perhaps not as reprehensible as Unhot Paul, but still. I think the sheer boringness of this has to count for something. Blech.

39. Dr. Tom Steele in Doctors (2001) — 2.5/10

He honestly looks like a villain in an early season of Alias, which... well. Quentin Tarantino was cast as a bit-part villain in Alias season one, so take that as you will. But at least he’s compelling here, which is why he gets half a point over Unhot Paul.

38. Steven in Frozen (2005) — 3/10

Get some rest, tall child! You can’t keep burning the candle at both ends! Also short haircuts do nothing for you, Richard. Styled like this, they just serve to make you look sort of like a sleaze.

37. Peter Macduff in ShakespeaRe-Told (2005) — 3/10

He honestly looks like he could be a guest star in Friends in this one, where he’s a guy named Jason who Ross meets in Central Perk where they find they have a lot in common. Ross introduces Jason to Monica and they really hit it off, but it all comes crashing down because while Jason is sensitive and writes poetry, he also thinks that the Earth is flat. The rest of the episode is trying to get rid of Jason while he becomes increasingly obsessed with Monica, and Ross cannot quite let go trying to prove to Jason that the world is round. Anyway. Macduff Flat Earth Jason isn’t quite as unhot as Unhot Paul, but he’s pretty much on the same level as Tired Steven.

36. Phillip Durrant in Marple (2007) — 3/10

Something about him in this image really makes me want to punch him in the face. It’s huge Peter Parker in Spider-Man 3 energy.

35. Young Claude Monet in The Impressionists (2006) — 3.5/10

I’M LOSING MY FUCKING MIND THE FIRST THING THAT COMES TO MIND IS !!! CARNIVAL BARKER !!!!! STEP RIGHT UP TO SEE THE WORST GOATEE IN HISTORY !!! I was actually going to give Yung Claude a 2 but the more I look at this terrible beard the more impressed I am with the boldness of this look, so I had to bump it up to 3.5. Idk. Just look at this. It’s incredible, especially knowing what kind of beard Armitage can grow himself !!!!!!!!

34. Heinz Kruger in Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) — 3.5/10

This is definitely the best looking he’s been so far in this list, but he’s a Nazi in this one, which makes him unsexy on principle. But do I feel a little something when he gets pinned to the ground by jacked Chris Evans with the above look on his face right before he swallows his cyanide pill? Can neither confirm nor deny. They are also truly playing into his inherently sinister bone structure, so I can respect that.

33. Percy Courtney in Miss Marie Lloyd (2007) — 4/10

Even including Yung Claude and Nazi Heinz, I think Nothing Percy is probably the weakest of Richard’s period looks, mostly because he looks like, well, nothing. He certainly doesn’t pull off that top hat like he does in North and South, and the secret to that might be the lack of sideburns. In this one he just sort of reminds me of the asshole fiance in Titanic.

32. Philip Turner in The Inspector Lynley Mysteries (2005) — 4/10

He’s really giving off bargain bin Hugh Jackman as Wolverine vibes here, if Logan’s energy was more “murderer in a Hallmark channel mystery” than “superhero.” Though, given what sort of show this is, that may be the point! Idk, this isn’t the worst. At least he has a decent haircut in this one. Still, I feel absolutely nothing when I look at him. He’s simply royalty-free stock music given human form.

31. Dr. Alec Track in The Golden Hour (2005) — 4.5/10

I could see how this conceivably be sexy in this role, but to be honest, he’s still nothing to me, sorry. He gets some extra points because he obviously worked out for this role and the hard nips through a white undershirt is a commendable look. I whole-heartedly respect Doctor Alec’s thottitude.

30. Daryl in Staged (1999) — 4.5/10

Speaking of thottitude!!!!! This is one cream-faced business boy that I can certainly get into! He looks like the love interest in a pre-Hayes code homoerotic thriller from the early 1930s. I’m sure that’s just because of the lighting and general staging of this production, but hm... demure. Love it.

29. Capt. Ian Macalwain in Ultimate Force (2003) — 4.5/10

Well, he looks like a character from M*A*S*H but with no charisma, or like an extra in The Great Escape who snitches on Steve McQueen to the Nazis. Also in half the pictures I find of him from this he’s wearing this terrible beret, which I know he can pull off because of a role that ranks much higher on this list. Whoever styles this man really needs to pay attention to what sort of headgear they put on him.  

28. Epiphanes in Cleopatra (1999) — 5/10

Speaking of headgear, you know what?? He doesn’t look awful here. A solid 5, perfectly acceptable. I think the helmet does a lot to accentuate the sharpness of his face in this extremely bit part, though the eyeliner definitely also helps as well.

27. John Mulligan in Moving On (2009) — 5/10

Mr. Armitage’s characters can really have potential when a production’s stylist allows him to wear scruff (IN A WAY THAT LOOKS NATURAL, LOOKING AT YOU YUNG CLAUDE). However, as it is with John Mulligan in Moving On here, he just sort of looks like a rando? They’re not playing into the inherent angularity of his face, which for me makes it sort of confusing regarding what sort of emotion I’m supposed to feel while looking at him. As it is, I’m just like, “Yup, that sure is a regular human man, right there.”

26. Smug Man at Party in This Year’s Love (1999) — 5/10

This is the face of a man who less smug and is more DRUNK OUT OF HIS MIND !!!! Idk. He’s cute here, I’ll admit. That’s all I have to say about it.

25. John Standring in Sparkhouse (2002) — 5.5/10

I enjoy the bold choice of giving him wavy hair in this one, but I’m not sure he quite pulls it off. It doesn’t look bad, per se, just... he looks completely nonthreatening. Which I guess could be someone’s thing, but not mine. He honestly looks like a knock-off Will Graham, sans dogs and trauma.

24. Gary in Into the Storm (2014) — 5.5/10

I think the thing that really gets me is that this character’s name is Gary. Who on God’s green Earth looks at Richard Armitage and goes, “Ah yes, you do look like a Gary” ??? I don’t think I know of a single non-American Gary, especially since the name Gary only got popularized after Gary Cooper renamed himself after his hometown of Gary, Indiana!!!! It wasn’t really a name for human men before that!!!! I want to live in the alternate universe where Frank Cooper was originally from Albuquerque and named himself Albuquerque Cooper and this character is named as such. Gary. Really.

23. King Oleron in Alice Through the Looking Glass (2016) — 5.5/10

I truly hate how much his facial expressions in these stills remind me of Thorin, considering how bad he looks otherwise. Like his face his fine, I guess, especially since this is the first instance of his full beard. I’m charmed despite myself! Take me to wonderland, O King.

22. Adam Price in The Stranger (2020) — 5.5/10

For as compelling as people call this series, Richard here isn’t very much so imo. But despite my utter lack of interest, he doesn’t look bad per se. He just sort of has that stubbly white man blandness that colors a lot of his more recent roles. Like, at least his bad mid-2000′s styling had character. This is just the visual representation of a vague handwave.

21. Harry Kennedy in The Vicar of Dibley (2006)  — 6/10

Gosh... floppy hair, cute sweaters... he also seems to be smiling a lot in this one, which is nice! The only thing I have to complain about is that he looks very much like if Bradley Cooper and Hugh Jackman circa Kate and Leopold had a baby, which may not necessarily be too much of a bad thing, but I can’t unsee it.

20. Sgt. John Porter in Strike Back (2010)  — 6/10

Ah, back to poorly suited haircuts. At least he’s a little bit gritter and grimier than we’ve seen so far, and I will say Richard Armitage does look good covered in dirt, as we will see later on. Also he’s got biceps in this one, which, hell yeah.

19.  Ricky Deeming in Inspector George Gently (2007)  — 6/10

I’M HAVING THE HARDEST TIME RIGHT NOW RANKING THIS ONE BC OF THIS INCREDIBLE LITTLE WHITE SCARF-RIDING LEATHERS COMBO!!! WHICH ABSOLUTE GENIUS DECIDED THIS!!!! EVERY SCREENSHOT OF HIM IN HIS EPISODE HAS THIS!!! Part of me just wants to give Stylish Ricky a big fat 10 because I’m gay and adore the sheer audacity of this look, but I still have to be fair and rank his overall aura accordingly. I think he’s a handsome extremely gay-coded motorcycle lad in this one, but he doesn’t exactly rev my engine, so to speak.

18. Lucas North in Spooks (2008) — 6/10

The tattoos really spice this one up. Luke could have been plagued by the problems inherent in Regular Mulligan’s Moving On styling, but this guy has an edge to him. He has a good haircut and 5′ o’clock shadow, which is something I’ve figured out is integral to Armitage Hotness. I feel like if I got to know this character I could possibly find him sexy.

17. Raymond de Merville in Pilgrimage (2017) — 6.5/10

Speaking of bad haircuts, this one is his undoing. This is almost the perfect balance between full beard and short haircut, which is the only way a short haircut works on this man, but they ruined it with this one! They gave him a bad bowl fade, which completely undoes any inherent sexiness that comes with being a knight. Not even the fact that he’s covered in dirt can turn me on at this point, ugh. Guy of Gisbourne he is not!!!

16. Tom Calahan in Brain on Fire (2016) — 6.5/10

Oh hell yes, WELCUM 2 DA DILF ZONE!!! I’m not super duper thrilled with the looks I’ve seen from this movie, but he seems scruffy and comfy in a way that is slightly refreshing for ol’ Richard. This is certainly the best of his normie looks so far. I’m just sad it took them 24 years to figure out how to style him properly for sympathetic roles in a contemporary setting.

15. James in My Zoe (2019) — 6.5/10

It’s another DILF look, slightly edgier than Comfy Tom but none of that sexy tired energy that we’ll see from Ocean’s 8. I don’t know !! Jimmy here doesn’t exactly thrill me, I think I prefer Tom’s flannels to this sharp bomber jacket/white t shirt combo seen here. Oh well! I am extremely  👀 👀 👀 👀 👀 that he can just casually palm that soccer ball like that.

14. John Thornton in North & South (2004)  — 7/10

Alright. I’m sorry. I just don’t find him that hot in this role. Like yeah, he’s got the scruff and the sideburns that work to his advantage, and the setting does make this character inherently sexy, but in some screenshots he screams too much of an aforementioned Kate and Leopold (the best Meg Ryan movie, imo) era Hugh Jackman to me. And if I was particularly into that, I would just watch Kate and Leopold again. I will admit, however, that this rating could be subject to change if I actually took the time to watch this show.

13. Chop in Urban and the Shed Crew (2015) — 7/10

...I’M??? INTO IT??? He’s dirty and scruffy but also has kind eyes.... I feel like this is knock off Will Graham who has blossomed into his own. His run down, grime-covered own. He’s back edging into Bradley Cooper territory, but somehow it works for him in this one. Like, I’m 89% sure it’s the DILF vibes I’ve been getting from the other screengrabs I’ve seen of this role, and this particular flavor of DILF is way sexier than Jimmy or Comfy Tom.

12. Francis Dolarhyde in Hannibal (2015) — 7/10

His Caesar cut doesn’t bother me quite so much in this, probably because he is pretty explicitly playing a villain in a series that doesn’t have any basis in reality. A villain who is ripped, and who can effortlessly throw real Will Graham around. Armitage uses his inherent sinisterness to great effect as the Red Dragon, which is good actually! I think a lot of how hot he is in any particular role really depends on whether the styling allows him to play to his strengths...idk! I’m not usually a huge fan of clean shaven Armitage, but it works for Frank here.

11. Daniel Miller in Berlin Station (2016) — 7/10

As much as I adore this particular look (beard + fade + green army jacket), I have to compromise and give Danny a 7/10 because it seems like the first season they styled him in usual stubbly white man blandness. I’d say screengrabs from s1 are a solid 6, while this might be an 8, so the average is a 7. That’s all I have to say about this!

10. Claude Becker in Ocean’s 8 (2018) — 7.5/10

!!!!! I love him in this role, I about had a conniption in the theater because I absolutely was not expecting him!! He looks perfectly ruffled and scruffy, edgier than either Comfy Tom or Jimmy, which I’m very into. That plus his two borzois (objectively the best looking dogs on the planet) really put Old Claude over the top for me. Thank you, thank you Hollywood stylists for finally figuring out what to do with him for roles as a Normal Man.

9. Richard Hall in The Lodge (2019) — 7.5/10

I don’t know anything about this movie, but it seems pretty spooky, which I’m into. I think Richard is well suited for this sort of horror/thriller role, where his angular features can play into the overall vibe rather than some hapless stylist trying to work around them. He looks like another cozy DILF here but with a bite to him, like someone who would do anything to protect his brood. I mean, he’s teaching this child to shoot! But idk, he also has the potential for Jack Nicholson in The Shining energy, which I also could be....hm... into. Idk. Is this on Netflix??

8. Lee in Cold Feet (2003) — 7.5/10

FUN!!! FLIRTY!!!! OTTER VIBES!!!!! I LOVE THIS, he seems so goofy here, and Armitage doesn’t usually pull off goofy that well! I’ve giggled at literally every screenshot I could find from the four episodes he was in this show, he seems like a real himbo. I’m a huge fan, even if it comes at the cost of dehydration abs.

7. William Chatford in Malice Aforethought (2005) — 7.5/10

Hoo hoo HOO DO NOT JUDGE ME!!!!!!! Maybe it’s just because I’ve been watching the new season of The Alienist and the new dark and gritty HBO reboot of Perry Mason back to back, but sue me, I love the bold choice they made with giving him a pencil moustache here. He looks like a hot Howard Hughes; if cream-faced business boy Daryl from Staged is the young ingenue in the pre-Hayes Code thriller I cast him in, Bill here is the sexy antagonist. I desperately want to hear a perfect Transatlantic accent coming out out of that  mouth. This look fucks and I’m sticking to that no matter what.

6. Trevor Belmont in Castlevania (2017) — 8/10

Ah, yes, speaking of king himbos... do me a favor and look me right in the eye and tell me that you wouldn’t fuck Trevor Belmont. You can’t, can you?????? At least 80% of Richard Armitage’s inherent hotness stems from his voice, and you can’t tell me there isn’t anything sexier than thinking about letting that guy loose in a recording studio and letting him say fuck. Look, Trevor may be drawn that way, but it’s the absolute stupidity coming out of his mouth in that sweet baritone that makes me want to be raw-dogged by 100% pure Romanian beef.

5. Dr. Scott White in Sleepwalker (2017) — 8/10 

Much like I had intimated when talking about Hot Danny in Berlin Station, this is Peak contemporary normie Richard Armitage styling. I honestly think The Hobbit either awakened something in him, or casting directors finally figured out he looks way good with a full beard. His crew cut even works with his whole look, which is a miracle!!!! I think he should be contractually obligated to have a full beard in all of his future roles, but that’s just me.

4. Guy of Gisbourne in Robin Hood (2006) — 8.5/10

I honestly can’t believe I’m ranking Guy so far up here, but honestly, THIS RULES!!!!!! THIS FUCKS!!!!!!!!! Which is incredible due to Guy’s lack of beard, but I’m weirdly okay with it? Like sure, he looks like he’d probably call me a slur in front of his shitty friends, but he also looks like he could tenderly pound me into the mattress in a way that would have me questioning my commitment to the “no emotions” clause of our clandestine no-strings-attached sex agreement. Anyway. Guy of Gisbourne if you see this im free thursday night. please message me back if you’re free thursday night when i am fr

3. Angus in Macbeth (1999) — 8.5/10

HHHNGHGNHNGHGN HE’S SO HOT.....!!! HE’S SO HOT!!!!! Leather jacket!!! Scruff!! Dirt!!!! Flattering beret!!!!! He’s so hot, and the worst part about this is that this was filmed in NINETEEN NINETY NINE!!!!!!!!!!!! Which means we could have always had this, had stylists and makeup artists PLAYED TO HIS STRENGTHS!!!!! He’s so hot I’m getting legitimately angry. Without scruff and dirt this man is nothing. N o t h i n g.

2. John Proctor in The Crucible (2014) — 9/10

Look, I know I have a type. But... this guy is just so hot, Daniel Day Lewis please step aside!!!! Contemporary theater historians describe John Proctor as a “strong beast of a man,” and... hhhHHOOOGH HELL YEAH!!! HELL !!!! YEAH !!!!! Like, his dick got almost his entire Puritan village, including himself, accused of witchcraft and like, looking at this guy, I kind of get it. I would probably go to war over the raw animal beauty of this horrible dirty, greasy man. Sue me, I confess. I saw Goody Osburn with the devil.

1. Thorin II Oakenshield in The Hobbit Trilogy  — 9.5/10

Come on. You knew it was going to be this guy. Look at my icon for christ’s sake. I am completely biased, I cannot look at his pictures objectively. Anyway. Thank you so much for reading, this was a very stupid list.

[bellakitse]

Friday, I'm in Love

Eight months after Carlos' accident, TK and he are more in love than ever. They also have some news for their family.

30 days of Tarlos - Day 19

Final Part of Firefighter Carlos! AU, Part One, Part Two, Part Three

TK Strand is moving around the kitchen of the firehouse prepping before he gets started on dinner. A few feet away, he can hear the shouts of his team as they play Overwatch in the common room. He turns towards the sink, washing some red, green, and yellow peppers when a pair of strong arms wrap around his waist, soft lips brushing over the shell of his ear.

“Hi, baby,” Carlos says softly against his skin. “What are you making?”

“Chicken and shrimp fajitas, with yellow rice and black beans,” he answers, sighing when Carlos traces his ear with his tongue before pulling the lobe into his mouth.

TK gasps. “Don’t start what we can’t finish,” he warns him even as he presses his body back into Carlos’ muscular chest, heat building in his belly as Carlos sucks softly on the thin skin of his neck.

“We can always sneak into the dorms for fifteen or twenty minutes,” Carlos whispers, grinning against his skin when TK moans softly as his hand reaches down and cups him through his uniform.

TK closes his eyes as Carlos touches him, he’s more than ready to say yes to his suggestion when he hears footsteps. Carlos pulls his hand off him and steps away fast enough that when Paul steps into the kitchen, he’s a few feet away. It does nothing to help against Paul’s vigilant eye.

“You two were macking on each other, weren’t you?” Paul accuses them as he opens the fridge to pull out a bottle of water.

“No,” TK denies just as Carlos says, “Yes.”

“Carlos,” he hisses, only to get a shrug back from him while their friend and crew member shakes his head at them.

“Just cook dinner, Strand,” Paul rolls his eyes at him. “And stop having sex in front of my salad.”

“I’m not making salad,” TK tells him as Paul turns around, heading back to the rest of the crew and their game.

He hears Judd scream something about nobody beating ‘big papa J,’ and shakes his head in amusement.

TK turns back to Carlos, who is smirking devilishly at him. “And you say that I’m trouble,” he says dryly.

Carlos smiles, letting out a chuckle as he closes the distance between them again until he has TK pressed against the sink.

“I can’t help it. I always want to have you,” Carlos starts, his brown eyes a shade darker with lust but also with so much love. He reaches up to pull out TK’s necklace, next to his station 252 pendant hangs a simple white gold band. If he were to tug on Carlos own necklace, he would find a matching ring. “But ever since this, I’m dying to be with you every second of the day. I love you so much, baby.”

TK all but melts at his words, understanding exactly what Carlos is feeling.

It had been a spur of the moment thing. The week before they had been celebrating their one-year anniversary and somewhere in the middle of their third and fourth round of sex, TK had blurted out marry me, and Carlos had said yes.

Two days later, they were in a courthouse saying I do.

They told his dad, Carlos’ mother and sisters the news over dinner the next night, and while surprised and maybe a little sad to have missed the ceremony, they’d ultimately been happy for them. It did help that they planned to have an actual service down the road.

It was just that once engaged; they couldn’t bear the thought of waiting.

“We should tell the team over dinner tonight,” TK says quietly, he raises his hand to touch the small scar right at Carlos’ hairline, a physical reminder of how he almost lost him eight months ago.

He’s never taken Carlos for granted; he knew the second he met him that he was special and treated him as such, but almost losing him had intensified that feeling. It’s why he was only able to hold out until they made a year together before proposing.

“Yeah?” Carlos smiles widely, between taking a few days off together last week after getting married, and then this week, everyone being on different shifts, this was the first day their primary crew was all on at the same time.

“Yeah,” TK nods, smiling back as Carlos leans in to press his forehead against his. “Tomorrow is Saturday, Judd and Marjan are off, and you the next day. If we don’t tell them today, we have to wait till next week,” he continues, letting his smile turn into a dirty smirk.

“I want everyone to know I married this fine piece of ass,” he says, slipping his hand down Carlos’ backside, laughing when his husband lets out a squeak.

“Tyler Kennedy Strand,” Carlos gasps, scandalized.

“Tyler Kennedy Reyes,” TK corrects him, his heart beating hard with happiness as he speaks his new name, the bright smile on Carlos’ face says he feels exactly the same way.

“I really really love hearing that,” Carlos tells him anyway.

TK tilts his head up to make up the small height difference between them, smiling when Carlos leans in to brush his mouth against his. He lets out a soft sigh before parting his lips for Carlos. Their tongues dance against each other until it pulls a breathy moan from deep inside TK’s throat. Lost in the kiss, TK jumps in Carlos’ arms when someone clears their throat loudly behind them.

He turns in Carlos’ arms to find his whole team, minus his dad, watching them. Paul and Marjan smirk at them and Mateo blushes while Judd scowls.

“Seriously?” Judd questions dryly. “When are we supposed to eat if you two are always eating each other's faces? It’s been a year already, when is your honeymoon phase over?”

TK bites down on his lip to keep from laughing at the question. He looks over at Carlos to find him grinning too, his eyes dancing with amusement and happiness. Raising an eyebrow at him, TK lets out a chuckle when Carlos gives him a nod.

“Actually, Judd, you’re going to have to put up with our honeymoon phase for a lot longer,” he says as he pulls his necklace from under his shirt, Carlos does the same next to him. They hold them up, smiles on both their faces as the crew each realize what they’re looking at.

“Seeing as we only got married last week,” he says over the loud shouts of surprise. It’s the last thing he’s able to get out as their family suddenly surrounds him and Carlos, wrapping them up in a massive group hug.

TK laughs with joy as Marjan and Judd squeeze him, over their heads he finds Carlos in a similar situation with Mateo and Paul.

He meets his husband's eyes; they shine with unshed tears and joy.

His heart fills up with even more love as he remembers Carlos’ interview. All he wanted was his crew to be his family, all he wanted was to be loved, and now between him and the 126, he will be, every day, for the rest of their lives.

[littlelambdrgnfly]

I know its been a wild day but I'm still thinking about that ask about John messing during a concert.

Like one minute he's the leader of the band joking around with the others and the next minute he's unwittingly pushing shit into his trousers/nappy and trying not to cry. There would definitely be some fans that notice John's newly drooping backside but i think most of them would be more distracted by his and Paul's barely concealed erections and the fact they both keep missing chords to stare at each other

Ah yes, I can’t deny that’s one of my all-time favorite images to think about... His blushing face and barely held-back tears, immediately transforming from cool rock star to a helpless little baby... I bet if Paul wants Johnny to behave himself, all he has to do is threaten to change Johnny’s nappy on stage! ;)

[curtisandlewis]

Growing Pains

Dean and Jerry

safe for work

Summary: (1,766 words) They’ve been together for eight years. Jerry’s pushing thirty and Dean still can’t deal with Jerry growing up. What else is new?

Things to Look Forward to: Implication of sex between two men with no description, erection, implication of Mimic: Oral Sex(Thumb), mention of almost having an orgasm, kissing of the chest and sucking on the nipple    

This is a warning I’m going to leave on all the fics for What the Fic

Please remember this is made for entertainment and not to be used as a guide for how to live your life. 

It had been a hard year. Probably the worst year of Jerry's life. The fracture started that January. Jerry could admit now that he was partly at fault. Dean already gathered the courage to admit it was Jerry's fault. He couldn't believe that things got so out of hand that they considered the D word-Divorce. But that April when they hugged in Jerry's office the fracture had been healed. Jerry liked to think of it as a test that they both passed and now they could be stronger than ever before.

Last night was their first anniversary together since the feud. Those months, when they were on shaky ground, felt long and lonely. They kissed, touched, messed around here and there since they got back together but they hadn't done what they had done before. Jerry was so nervous it was like the first time. He wanted Dean to think someone could want him. Jerry wanted to be the best Dean ever had and make him think twice before ever leaving his side again. By the time they took their clothes off it was as natural as the way they moved on stage.

IT WAS PERFECT.

Jerry was awoken by Dean's lips tickling his shoulder. Biting his lip while smiling from ear to ear he silently thanked God for bringing this man back to him. He slowly got up on his forearms allowing Dean time to back away. "You're not usually this UP in the morning."

"I have to take every chance I get. You're body's changing so fast I can't keep up."

Jerry moved to his side trying to wake up and understand. "What are you talking about?"

"Just look at you."

Dean's words hit Jerry hard. He doesn’t like my body?

"Do you honestly think your back is the same? Or your shoulders? Your arms, Jer." Dean grabbed the muscle. "Don't you feel that? Your chest," Dean said as his hand pressed against him. "I can barely find you in there."

Jerry couldn't comprehend what was happening. Was Dean saying that Jerry's body was too MUSCULAR? He had trained himself never to look too long at his chest in the mirror. He only focused on the positives like his curves.

"And your stomach!”

“Hey!” Jerry was sure Dean was going to make a crack about his weight. Ever since they got back together it wasn’t as hard as it was to eat.

“Why do you have muscles in your stomach? Have you been taking steroids?”

“No.”

“What is it then? Did you decide you were going to be sex and slapstick all by yourself? Huh, work out like crazy and show everybody how much you don’t need me.”

“Paul, no.”

“How could so much change in just a few months!”

“Paul, it was never like that. I’m just…growing up.”

“Will you knock it off! I want my Jer-sy back.” Dean turned his back to Jerry. “Last night was hard for me. I’m used to soft curves. I don’t know what to do with that,” Dean said gesturing towards Jerry.

“It sure felt to me you knew what you were doing.”

Dean didn’t respond.

“I still got curves, Paul. ” Still nothing. Jerry situated himself so that only little Jerry was covered. “Paul, look at me.”

Dean turned his head and kept his attention there.

Jerry rubbed his bare backside. “See how much bigger my curve got?” For a second Jerry thought he broke down that wall but still, Dean turned away, though it seemed harder for him to do this time. This was serious. Jerry in a huff put the sheet back over him. “It’s your fault I’m like this!”

Dean turned without hesitation. “What the hell is that supposed to mean!”

“It means you make me stronger.” He rose to his knees. “Without you I’m nothing. I’m weaker than any man,” he said placing his hands on Dean’s shoulders. “Last night when you held me in your masculine arms,” Jerry’s hands went down Dean’s biceps. “And touched me with your manly hands,” he said as his long delicate fingers wrapped around Dean’s strong hands. “...you made me blossom and every day I’m with you I blossom more into manhood.”

“Quit it, Jer.” Dean tried to shake Jerry off.

"You're cute when you pout.  Have my lips changed?"

"That's about the only thing that hasn't," Dean said facing Jerry.

"You better check," Jerry said tapping his lips.

Dean gave him a quick mwah type kiss and Jerry stopped Dean from moving his head away.

It was just like in their act. Both of Jerry's hands on either side of Dean's face keeping their mouths locked together. Dean's hands kept in the air not knowing what to grab onto.

But unlike their act Jerry's tongue was in Dean's mouth giving him everything he had. Jerry moaned and gasped because he knew that turned Dean on the most. Dean's hands found their way to Jerry's back feeling his naked skin and the muscle beneath it. Maybe he could get used to it after all. But Dean found his beloved soft curves. His hand moved away the sheet that barely covered Jerry. Dean's hand moved down the curve of Jerry's ass, palming it, then ever so lightly gripping it and his other hand soon followed.

Jerry moaned in Dean's mouth again but this time he wasn't putting on a show. Dean's hands felt so good there. They had so much chemistry, so much unending desire for one another. Chest to chest, stomach to stomach if they kept this up other parts of them would soon make contact.  There's no way Dean could deny how good they were together. Dean's hands went back up to Jerry's waist and he took that as his queue. They separated but the noise Jerry made sounded like he was doing something other than kissing. Jerry was slightly out of breath but Dean was panting. He got him right where he wanted him.

"Do you have to use so much tongue?" Dean took away one hand from Jerry's waist to wipe his mouth.

Jerry saw right through it. "The tongue wants what the tongue wants. Like this." Jerry licked the length of Dean's neck and felt him shiver. He gave Dean's neck soft kisses while thinking yep, worked like a charm. As he sucked the skin Dean made the most beautiful sounds. He would hold back on giving any sign of his pleasure (Jerry figured that had something to do with masculinity.) until he had to give himself over to it. Jerry missed that sound. It meant Dean was losing control and giving it over to him. Dean's hand stroked Jerry's head and like a puppy, he responded to the affection.

"Don't-don't give uh me a hickey."

Jerry's mouth moved to Deans ear. "Don't worry. I know when you bruise." Just as Jerry was going to be a naughty boy and give Dean a tiny love bite he felt himself be pushed onto his back. Jerry giggled when he felt Dean’s lips on his neck.

“What makes you think only you can have all the fun, huh?” Dean continued kissing Jerry’s neck and he nuzzled him with his nose. “You smell so good.”

“You like my cologne, Bubby?”

“It’s not the cologne,” he said against his neck. “You smell like candy.” He kissed his lips. “Only you could smell like candy.” Dean went from hovering to pressing his growing erection against Jerry’s thigh.

Jerry wondered if he should take the time to tell Dean all the things he loved about his body. Who knew what other insecurities lie behind his exterior of constant cool. They kissed slowly which was a welcome change from the frantic pace they had been going at.

Dean traced Jerry’s bottom lip with his thumb. “Your lips are so soft.”

Jerry resisted the urge to take Dean’s thumb into his mouth and instead opened it slightly giving Dean the option. Dean decided to slip his tongue in and Jerry felt that was better than his thumb. Dean’s kiss was dirtier than usual. Jerry’s hand held onto the back of his neck and his strong back like he had the night before. He felt Dean’s tongue going to the back of his throat and he almost came. When their make out/ almost sex session was over Dean sucked Jerry’s tongue like it was made of candy. Jerry a little stunned said, “You certainly liked my tongue then.”

“I love your tongue,” Dean said without a hint of sarcasm. “I love everything you do with it, everywhere you put it, but Daddy don’t like being dominated.”

“Ooh. How about we switch,” Jerry said imitating Dean’s line in a routine they did in their act. “50/50 my tongue then your tongue.”

“Sounds fair,” Dean said going back to Jerry’s neck. He made the same kind of sound he made last night and his hand was all over Jerry’s chest. “I love your body. You know that. I wish we could stay here a week and I do nothing but touch you.” Dean’s lips went to Jerry’s chest. “I always want to touch you. I went too long…I never want to go that long without touching you or seeing you.” He went up to Jerry’s lips saying between kisses “I didn’t mean it, baby…you know I didn’t.”

“You were scared,” Jerry said against Dean’s lips.

Dean instantly created distance between them.

Before Dean could object Jerry cut him off while holding his head gently in his hands. “I’ll always be your Jer-sy.” Dean Martin was ninety-five percent venerability and insecurity. Jerry used to be fooled by Dean’s acting skills into thinking he was tough and didn’t let emotional things hurt him. Jerry would never make that mistake again. “Time may change both of us.” He looked deep into his eyes. “But I will always be yours no matter what.”

Dean’s eyes changed to a golden whiskey color and that hint of blue shined even brighter. Jerry got through to him and all that Dean needed to be was reassured. He took Jerry’s hand from his cheek and kissed Jerry’s wrist as if only his lips could express what he was feeling. They both took in this rare moment. “Tell me if you still like this.” Dean ducked down to Jerry’s chest and didn’t waste any time.

“Oh, yes,” Jerry said throwing his head back as Dean sucked his nipple with the same enthusiasm Jerry would have put into it. Jerry stroked Dean’s head and back to wordlessly say that he was there and he loved him more than anything. Jerry smiled and said, “See, Paul you still know your way around this skinny Hebrew even if he ain't so skinny.”      

[donhornsby]

It's been a full day of packing for an upcoming move. But there is always time for a #VinylAndBeerSunday. I have packed up my books and just begun packing my vinyl collection when I came upon this well-loved copy of a live WINGS album. I have been on a bit of a PAUL MCCARTNEY kick lately. I have been revisiting a lot of his earlier albums to rinse my ears out after listening to his latest (EGYPT STATION). This live album WINGS OVER AMERICA is much of the soundtrack of my life in the mid-1970s. I know that Sir Paul's solo work pales a bit to his work with THE BEATLES, but you can't deny the quality of this material. I mean listen to LET ME ROLL IT and tell me that it's not great. There are some incredible songs here like ROCK SHOW, JET, MAYBE I'M AMAZED, LADY MADONNA, THE LONG AND WINDING ROAD, LIVE AND LET DIE, BLACKBIRD, MY LOVE, LETTING GO, and the showstopping SOILY. Simply love this three-disc set? I am winding down with these tunes with a great light bodied IPA from BACKSIDE BREWING COMPANY in Roseburg, OR. Their OSP STATE PALE is a great IPA with lots of hops and smooth finish. It's refreshing after a busy day. So...what are you listening to tonight? What are you drinking? #vinyl #vinylcollection #wings #paulmccartney #wingsoveramerica #vinylrecords @paulmccartney #thebeatles #beer #craftbeer #backsidebrewingco @backsidebrewingco @sandandstain #beerstagram #beermusic (at Salem, Oregon) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bv-nPtegRaH/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1l80de9whv401

[waveofahand]

Beatles Cartoon Notes: Adorable

All of the notes and drawings are great. I am impressed with how well they captured stances and body language (John makes faces, Paul keeps his knees together, arms folded, George always slouches or leans) that really reflected the band. And I cannot help but notice that in the 'sitting' note, well... Paul's got a big and glorious curvy backside!

[opedguy]

Paul Proves Fauci Lied at Senate Hearing

LOS ANGELES (OnlineColumnist.com), Sept. 7, 2021.--Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.), denounced by 80-year-old Dr. Anthony Fauci, Director of NIH’s Allergy and Infectious Disease, now has all the proof he needs to show that the slippery octogenarian lied in July 20 Senate Hearing.  Fauci denied in the most emphatic way possible that he ever funded “gain-of-function” research that the Wuhan Institute of Virology Lab from which the deadly novel coronavirus originated.  China has done everything possible to cover up the undeniable fact that the deadly virus leaked from WIV chief virologist Shi Zhengli’s lab, most likely in Oct. or Nov. 2019.  Fauci will lie to his dying day that that he had nothing to do with developing the world’s most deadly lab-made pathogen in Wuhan, China.  Fauci likes to prevaricate, spin and cover up his role in funding Zhengli’s lab.  “And I was right about the agency funding novel Coronavirus research at Wuhan,” Paul said.       

      Fauci accused Paul of lying in the July 20 Senate hearings, telling the junior Kentucky Senator, “Sen. Paul, you don’t know what you’re talking about,” in response to Paul accusing Fauci of funding the creating of the deadly virus.  The Intercept revealed that Fauci poured $3.1 million into Dr. Peter Daszak’s New York-based EcoHealth Alliance to study bat-coronaviruses, of which $599,000 went directly to Zhengli’s lab.  As soon as Wuhan was swamped with SARS CoV-2 cases in Dec. 2019 and Jan. 2020, the Chinese Communist government sealed off the WIV from any outside influences.  WIV, which was designed and built by French contractors as China’s first Level-4 bio-safety laboratory, capable of handling the most contagious viruses known to man.  China wanted, after the SARS CoV-1 epidemic in 2003, to investigate the deadly bat-originated coronaviruses.   

          Fauci and his friend Peter Daszak have been in the forefront of disputing the lab-leak hypothesis, now a virtual certainty that the deadly novel coronavirus was created in Zhengli’s lab.  Daszak, whose EcoHealth Alliance received $3.1 million in Fauci’s funding, has just as much to lose as Fauci, admitting that they both helped create the deadly virus in Wuhan.  Intercept’s reports, like past reporting using emails and other documents on exchanges between Daszak and Fauci, prove, to anyone’s satisfaction, that they both entered into a conspiracy to defraud the public about the origin of the virus.  While Director of National Intelligence, Avril Haines can’t ascertain facts related to the origin of the virus, that doesn’t mean the facts don’t exist.  Fauci and Daszak’s active role in spewing Communist Party propaganda, all to cover their backsides, shows the extent of their culpability.  

           Daszak was among the first to collect signatures from a group of like-minded scientists to publish a letter in the British Medical Journal Lancet saying that the lab-leak theory was preposterous, a conspiracy theory.  Former President Donald Trump helped Daszak make his case tweeting April 30, 2020 that the virus originated in WIV lab.  With all the media hatred toward Trump, the entire U.S. media tried to discredit the lab-leak theory until now.  Today, the Washington Post published an article talking about all the secrecy and cover-ups at the WIV, lending credibility to the lab-leak theory. When Trump was in office, the New York Times, Washington Post, CNN, MSNBC and all other liberal outlets disputed the lab-leak theory.  More recent admissions by left-leaning news outlets show that, with Trump out of the picture, the media can finally show a smidgeon of integrity.    

         Paul was trashed by Fauci at the July 20 hearing, once it became clear he helped fund the “gain-of-function” research that led Shengli to create the deadly novel coronavirus. “The documents make it clear that assertions by the NIH Director Francis Collins, and NAID Director, Anthony Fauci, that the NIH did not support gain-of-function research or potential pandemic pathogen enhancement at WIV are untruthful,” Rutgers University chemical biology professor Richard Ebright wrote on Twitter.  Fauci relies on his own definitions of “gain-of-function” research to continue denying what’s obvious to just about everyone:  That he helped fund the creation in a WIV lab of deadly novel coronavirus.  Whether Fauci can every be rung up perjury charges is anyone’s guess.  What’s know for sure is that Fauci funded Daszak’s EcoHelath Alliance which funded Zhengli’s bioweapons lab.     

           DNI Director Haines needs to look at more than biological samples from WIV, something she’ll never get because China is committed to covering up the origin of the deadly coronavirus.  Fauci said nothing when Chinese Foreign Minister Spokesman Zhao Lijian said March 13, 2020, only two days after the World Health Organization [WHO] declared a global pandemic, that the novel coronavirus was made in America and planted by the U.S. military in Wuhan, China.  How about that for an official CCP explanation?  Why does Fauci, Democrat and their friends in the press never bring that up?  Lijian repeated the CCP origin theory again May 26, saying, with more specificity, that the novel coronavirus was made in Ft. Detrick, Maryland bioweapons lab and planted in China.  Haines has plenty of evidence, if she chooses to use it, to determine with certainty that the deadly virus originated in Zhengli’s lab. 

About the Author 

John M. Curtis writes politically neutral commentary analyzing spin in national and global news. He’s editor of OnlineColumnist.com and author of Dodging The Bullet and Operation Charisma.  Reply  Reply All  Forward

[junker-town]

The Lakers beat Kawhi Leonard and Paul George by avoiding them

LeBron James found a new way to beat the Clippers.

This is the adjustment that helped LeBron James and the Lakers beat the Clippers’ vaunted defensive duo.

Paul George and Kawhi Leonard are two of the best wing defenders in NBA history. Their dual ball hawking mimics Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen at their peak. Their growing chemistry has enabled them to switch, deny, and help each other in increasingly devastating ways for Clippers’ opponents. They are the driving force behind a Clippers’ defense that seems tailor-made to shut down any opposing star. You wonder how any team can score on that combination in crunch time.

Yet LeBron James and the Lakers found an ingenious and sure-to-be-repeated-if-these-teams-play-in-the-spring way to score on them in Sunday’s third Battle of LA by not trying to score on them at all. In hunting down and targeting the weakest Clippers defender on the court with a series of ball screens, the Lakers posed a question that could shake up a matchup the Clippers had previously dominated: What’s the point of having two all-time stoppers if neither of them are in position to do the stopping?

That’s what James and the Lakers ensured when it mattered most. From the eight-and-a-half minute mark of the fourth quarter until the final James three-point play to put them up 12 with 40 seconds left, the Lakers targeted Lou Williams and did everything in their power to ensure one of the three weaker Clipper defenders — Williams, Montrezl Harrell, or Marcus Morris — was ultimately the one contesting their shots. The Lakers posted an offensive rating above 125 in that stretch, ballooning to a whopping 144.4 in the final five minutes. They scored 20 points on 16 total possessions, including 13 on their final eight. Those are terrific numbers prorated over a whole game, but they’re even better in a tight, half-court slugfest when scoring is supposed to be challenging.

Watching James go to work was like seeing a great quarterback audible at the line of scrimmage. He directed his teammates into different spaces, putting them in motion like Tom Brady might in order to read the defensive coverage.

James and his teammates were all bought in on one goal of finding Williams and making sure he was involved in the main action. The best-case scenario would find Williams switching onto James, creating an obvious mismatch. But any Clippers coverage that included Williams in any way was just fine too, because Williams is that poor a defender. No matter how the Clippers tried to minimize Williams’ defensive role, the Lakers had an answer.

It all began when Kentavious Caldwell-Pope slipped out of his screen twice to the top of the key. Williams was slow to recover the first time and slow to communicate a switch to George on the second. Caldwell-Pope attacked their closeouts easily for a layup and a drive-and-kick to Davis.

The Clippers adjusted by having Williams jump out higher to stop the ball-handler from turning the corner, which worked once before James made a change. Rather than try to drive, he decoyed like he would go around Williams and then stopped to hit the slipping Lakers guard going back the other way. That led to one more drive for Caldwell-Pope and an open three for Avery Bradley.

The Clippers’ next chess move was to have Williams jump out on the screen, but not as far. Again, that worked once. But next time, Danny Green made extra sure to hold his screen to force Williams to switch onto James, and that predictably ended badly for the Clippers.

Once Williams checked out of the game, the Lakers simply shifted their attention to Morris, who’s much better defensively than Williams, but still not nearly as dangerous as George or Leonard. That led to a two-shot foul when Morris conceded too much of the baseline despite having lots of help in the middle.

And then to this:

The Lakers’ floor manipulation turned the Clippers’ two elite perimeter defenders into mostly aimless bystanders. By my count, George and Leonard were only directly involved in contesting the Lakers’ eventual shot on five of those 16 possessions. The other 11 were some combination of Williams, Harrell, and Morris.

The defensive shortcomings of Williams and Harrell will be an issue for the Clippers at any point in the playoffs. They lost control of the game in the third quarter, when Doc Rivers went back to a Williams-Reggie Jackson backcourt with Harrell playing center. Rondo, who had a dismal game up to that point, starting running pick-and-roll with Davis down the Clippers’ throats. They went right at some combination of those three weak Clipper defenders time after time after time.

George and Leonard were the other two Clippers in the game for large stretches of that time, but they might as well have been invisible. That’s because the Lakers kept pulling them away from the play and feasted in the resulting three-on-three scenarios.

From the 4:30 to the 1:13 mark of the third quarter, the Lakers scored 17 points and only failed to get a bucket on one of their nine possessions. That stretch turned the tide of the game, and then the James-led fourth-quarter matchup hunting sealed it. It was straight out of the playbook James used to target Stephen Curry in the 2016 Finals, except even more effective.

The good news for the Clippers is they have options to counteract this Lakers strategy. One is to sit Williams in favor of Patrick Beverley or Landry Shamet, both of whom offer better defense. With Leonard cannibalizing the offense late and George picking up any leftover scraps, there’s not as much use for Williams’ shot making late in games as there was in years past. Rivers should also use the Williams-Jackson combination more judiciously in this potential matchup, especially when Harrell is also on the floor.

But the simplest answer should reveal itself in the crucible of the postseason. For all of Leonard’s defensive brilliance even in this game, this was not his finest fourth quarter. He jumped to James’ left far too early on this play, allowing James to waltz down the lane before the help was set.

And the Clippers have to hope the intensity of the postseason means he’ll work harder than he did to avoid being screened by Green on the one play in which the Lakers successfully forced Williams onto James.

The Clippers will also get better at scram switching and communicating on the backside as they get more reps together. George occasionally looked slow toggling various assignments, and Morris seemed to let his desire to win a macho battle against James distract him from executing the Clippers’ scheme on those final two drives. There’s still lots of time for them to build reps before a playoff rematch.

But at least the Lakers have a method to attack the vaunted Clippers wing duo that supposedly can shut down any great scorer. Thanks to James’ greatness, they have the personnel and the strategy to keep George and Leonard as distant from key crunch-time defensive possessions as possible. If the Lakers can do that four times out of seven, this inevitable playoff series will be theirs to lose.

[discoverthebook]

WHY I AM NOT A MOSLEM: In the current news as we hear daily about Islam, we must choose to remember Muslim doctrines obstruct the way to eternal life. They believe the Galilean was a great prophet, but not the Savior of the world. He did not die on the cross but only appeared to do so. He was actually taken up alive to heaven before an embodied spirit resembling him appeared to undergo crucifixion. Since Jesus did not die, he was not raised from the dead. His unshed blood did not atone for the sins of mankind. He will come again to earth just before the Day of Judgment (Anti-Christ?) proclaim that Muhammad was God’s final and most sublime prophet, and lead all of mankind into Islam. Then “the son of Mary” will die like any other mortal man and be raised to life along with everyone else on the last day.  For them Christ is a prophet, but not the divine Son of God who said, "Before Abraham was, I am" (John 8:58).  For Muslims Jesus is not the Savior who died for their sins and said, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but by me" (John 14:6).  Unless Muslims - and all others who deny Christ's deity - hear and embrace the good news that "the fullness of deity" dwells in Jesus (Colossians 2:9), they will be without eternal hope. Salvation is the cure for the SIN virus.  What is the irreducible minimum of what salvation is all about?  Our mission is to preach the fact that God will forgive all someone’s sins forever.  The good news is not that God will fix your marriage, or make your life happier or make you prosperous or make you successful.  The good news is that alienation from a holy God which carries the price of eternal damnation can end.  And you can be reconciled with God and enjoy His glorious Heaven forever.  All your sin having been dealt with.  Salvation has two inseparable parts: substitution and imputation. Both are in II Corinthians 5:21“For He hath made Him who knew no sin to become sin for us”. (SUBSTITUTION)  God has caused the iniquity of us all to fall on Him.  On the cross, God  treated Jesus as if He had committed every sin ever committed by every person who would ever believe.  Though, in fact, He committed none of them.  That’s the great doctrine of substitution.  God unloaded His fury for all the sins of all the people who would ever believe in Him in the history of the world.  He unloaded all His fury against all their sins on Christ. To borrow the language of Leviticus 16, Jesus became the “scapegoat”.  Scapegoat was guilty of nothing.  But the High Priest, as it were, laid all the sins of the people on the scapegoat and sent him away.  “In order that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.”  (IMPUTATION)  That’s the other side of salvation called imputation.  The reason Jesus lived a full life was that He might live a complete life fully righteous.  That He might live a complete life absolutely without sin, absolutely perfect so that that perfect life could be credited to your account.  That’s the backside of imputation.  On the cross, God treated Jesus as if He lived your life so He could treat you as if you lived His life.  That’s the Gospel.  That’s substitution.In faith, repentant faith, acknowledging our sin, we acknowledge Jesus died and rose again for us.  We ask Him to save us from our sins and at that moment, the payment of Christ is sufficient for all our sins and the righteousness of Christ is granted to us.  And from then on God treats us as if we had lived Christ’s life.  That’s why Paul in Romans says, 8:1, “There is therefore now no condemnation.”  Can’t be, it’s paid for. Jesus says, “Paid for.  Paid for.  Paid for.”  The Father says, “Sorry Satan, can’t see it.  All I can see is the righteousness of Christ.” The great doctrine of imputed sin to Christ on the cross and the imputed righteousness to us.  That’s the Gospel message. If you are persuaded that Christ did all that is necessary and all that ever will be necessary to bring you to God, you not only will be saved but know it!Without  Jesus’ being both human and divine, there is no gospel message. The only way salvation works is that it was God who accomplished it! The incarnation of Jesus Christ is the central fact of Christianity. All Christian theology is built on it. The power of the gospel is that God became man and that, by being both wholly God and wholly man, He was able to reconcile men to God. Jesus’ virgin birth, His substitutionary atoning death, resurrection, ascension, and return are all integral aspects of His deity. They stand or fall together.From WFM-15 - Who Is the Lord–Jehovah or Allah? (011014AM)E-Books: https://tinyurl.com/y3wbhlxy Traditional Books: https://tinyurl.com/y4xgz9rb Audio CDs: https://tinyurl.com/y5nnj3euFor more of Dr. John Barnett's  Bible teaching messages go to DiscoverTheBook.org

[d2kvirus]

Dickheads of the Month: November 2018

As it seems that there are people who say or do things that are remarkably dickheaded yet somehow people try to make excuses for them or pretend it never happened, here is a collection of some of the dickheaded actions we saw in the month of November 2018 to make sure that they are never forgotten.

Just when you think the current Tory government can’t get any scummier they find new depths to sink to, this time as it emerged that their use of gagging orders wasn’t just last month’s story of how Esther McVey silenced over twenty groups who oppose Universal Credit, oh no, the latest one to emerge was how engineering firm WSP had to sign a non-disclosure agreement expressly forbidding their report into the Grenfell Tower fire from criticising Theresa May or her government - which came to light just weeks after Theresa May claimed she was going to get tough on gagging clauses

Of course Theresa May herself wasn’t above scumminess, not when her address to the Confederation of British Industry featured her claiming how EU nationals “jump the queue” in terms of immigrations, and initially attempted to deny that she had said it - a claim that was somewhat difficult considering that comment had been broadcast by numerous television stations by that point

Bastions of journalistic integrity and not knowing what Photoshop is Newsnight hosted a panel of six members of the public to discuss the merits of Theresa may’s Britait deal, and one of the panel claimed to be a lifelong Tory supporter named Lynn who was wholly behind the deal - but what she neglected to mention was that she was an actress named Marina Lynn Hayter who had previously appeared in several BBC programmes ranging other political programming to working as an extra in EastEnders who also happens to post Islamophobic tweets.  When this came to light the initial response was for Newsnight host Emily Maitlis to tweet patronising comments to anyone who dared think the BBC’s word couldn't not be trusted while editor Esme Wren responded by doubling down on claims that “Lynn” was a legitimate pastor - claims which were rapidly torn to shreds as Hayter’s Twitter feed proves she is a pastor of the Seeds For Wealth Ministries (who definitely aren’t a pyramid scheme...) whose ceremonial garb looks nothing like the Anglican garb she wore on Newsnight, which only begs the question whether she chose to wear that garb and nobody checked if she was genuine or whether Newsnight dressed her up that way

In a desperate attempt to gain sympathy and/or relevance David Cameron said he was “bored shitless” after two years being away from politics and spending most of his time in his shed and he was considering a return to frontline politics, possibly as Foreign Secretary - apparently failing to understand that the reason that he’s been away from frontline politics for the past two years is because his gamble of an advisory referendum on EU membership backfired horribly due to his incompetent handling of the Remain campaign, especially since he also promised to activate Article 50 if a Leave vote came in, which is the reason he ran for the hills the second his fuckup was readily apparent

Feckless cunt Ivanka Trump scored a spectacular own goal against Team Trump when it emerged she had sent several hundred government emails from her personal e-mail account before initially trying to claim she didn’t realise she had done anything wrong - as if she forgot about her father saying “But her emails!!!!!!” several thousand times during the Presidential campaign whenever any question he couldn’t or wouldn’t answer came up

The past two years of acting like a cockney gangster who thinks he’s gotten away with it to the point he’s rubbing it in the faces of everyone else meant that Arron Banks really looked foolish where, after months of saying he doesn't care what the Electoral Commission says about him, the Electoral Commission referred the investigation into his business dealings to the National Crime Office

...or course, within 24 hours of this, the geniuses at the BBC announced that Banks would be appearing on The Sunday Politics Show, which sails dangerously close to interfering with a criminal investigation, and as expected the whole thing was a farce as it degenerated into Banks using the opportunity to smear Carole Cadwalladr for the umpteenth time as Julia Hartley-Brewer agreed with him the whole time

It seemed the Banksification of the BBC continued apace when Andrew Neil posted a particularly nasty tweet about Carole Cadwalladr that sounded remarkably similar to the tweets Banks has posted about her for the past year or so - and the BBC did not help themselves when their response was to say that, as Neil had deleted the tweet, there was no reason to complain

And the BBC’s dereliction of duty continued apace on Question Time when David Dimbleby made no effort to demand a retraction from Claire Perry when she called Jeremy Corbyn an antisemite

...and finally Andrew Marr decided he wanted part of the action when adopting a needlessly aggressive and downright nasty tone when interviewing Shami Chakrabarti

Compulsive liar Esther McVey had the gall to claim in her resignation letter that she could not be true to herself or the public in accepting Theresa May’s Britait proposal - a week after she told the House of Commons that mental health charity MIND had recognised and welcomed her suggested changes to Universal Credit, which was news to MIND, who had repeatedly criticised Universal Credit due to it having conditions that could stop those with mental health problems receiving benefits, as not only had they not welcomed her changes but she had not even informed them of these changes in the first place.

It appears that Paul Joseph Watson is quite happy on Manor Farm without his master telling him which lies to disseminate, considering he not only happily re-edited the footage of Jim Acosta having the microphone snatched out of his hands by a White House intern so it looked like he was assaulting her (and I’ll get to that in a moment...) but just 24 hours later falsely claimed (as did Laura Loomer and Pamela Geller) the perpetrator of the Thousand Oaks shooting was a Middle Eastern man and not an ex-marine who happened to be white

Doing her bit to unite the people of Mississippi was Cindy Hyde-Smith and her pledge to stand in the front row of a public lynching, which definitely didn’t have any connotations whatsoever considering her opponent Mike Espy happens to be of the ethnic background of people who tended to get lynched in Mississippi

Not only did Laura Loomer think that posting Islamophobic tweets about  newly-elected Minnesota representative Ilhan Omar wouldn’t come back to bite her on the backside, but when Twitter blocked her account for spreading hate speech she responded in the most insane way - by pinning a gold “Jude” star to herself and handcuffing herself to Twitter’s offices in New York, livestreaming the whole thing...which only turned into a humiliation conga line starting with Twitter employees simply walking in and out of the office ignoring her, soon followed by Twitter stating they wouldn’t press charges so she could stay there as long as she liked, the NYPD walking up with a set of bolt cutters and telling her to bugger off, and the bizarre moment where somebody watching ordered pizzas for Loomer and her cameraman only for Loomer to send them away as getting her Twitter back was more important than eating.  And, no, Twitter did not give her account back.

Professional contrarian Piers Moron Morgan obviously needed attention that day when tweeting some utter gibberish on International Men’s Day about radicalised feminists and how men should be manly men at the height of their manliness, all interspersed with him getting increasingly triggered by Little Mix because...nope, no idea whatsoever, but he certainly seemed angry about the whole thing

We got another round of “REEEEEEEEEEEdom of speech” wailing after a group of middle-aged edgelords who burned an effigy of Grenfell Tower because apparently if you can’t post a video of you and several of your friends burning an effigy of a real-life tragedy and using it as an excuse to make Islamophobic comments online without breaking some race-hate laws, what can you do in this country?  Other than what the South Norwood Conservative Club did, which was decide that deleting photos of the individuals from their Facebook page wasn’t enough, and instead they should just delete the whole page

NRA TV’s lead hate preacher Dana Loesch decided to revive a decade-old tweet saying teenagers piss her off to advertise she would be reading out her hate mail, sounding uncannily like the school shooters who benefit from sociopaths such as her and her NRA buddies making it so easy to get hold of an AR-15

Vile mass of blood and organs with a deep-seeded need to be despised Lindsey Graham took it upon himself to patronise Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and say he could educate her about the Holocaust - a comment which saw him slapped down by someone with a far greater understanding of the Holocaust than him, namely the Auschwitz Memorial

It apparently only just dawned on Dominic Raab that the UK is an island that imports the vast majority of its food by sea, primarily from the European Union.  This is somebody who is in charge of the UK’s negotiations to leave the European Union...

Seemingly on a mission to prove that the people most vocal about leaving the EU don’t have a clue Nadine Dorries stated she wouldn’t support Theresa May’s Britait deal as it would mean that the UK wouldn’t have a single MEP...something that’s a bit of a given considering that, by leaving the EU, the UK wouldn;t have a single MEP as they would also be voluntarily leaving the European Parliament

Doing their bit to demonstrate the failings of the American education system were the students of Baraboo school district who celebrated graduation by performing the Nazi salute en masse in their graduation photo

In the wake of a White House intern trying to grab a microphone from the hands of CNN’s Jim Acosta for his free exercise of the press, which I believe is something mentioned in the First Amendment, in their attempts to control the story Sarah Huckabee Sanders claimed Acosta assaulted the intern - and had an obviously doctobered piece of footage from the Squealer to Alex Jones’ Napoleon as quote-unquote proof

It’s hard to feel sorry for Scott Walker being unable to demand a recount for the Wisconsin gubernatorial election in spite losing the vote by just 1.2% to Democrat candidate Tony Evers - mainly because Walker passed a law stating that, if the candidate who finished second lost by more than 1% of the vote, they couldn’t demand a recount

Upon arriving at Luton Airport and learning that the airline he had flown on had lost his self-propelling wheelchair and being offered the use of one of the airport’s standard wheelchairs in order to help him through the airport, instead it occurred to Justin Levine that the best course of action would be to drag himself through the airport on his backside and, once he had left, threatened legal action against the airport - even though those who were responsible for the entire situation were the airline for losing Levine’s chair, and Levine for refusing any attempt at assistance from the airport just so he could make a show of his “struggle” for the person who quite conveniently filmed the entire thing

While it may be his schtick to make asinine arguments that he tries to tie to Trump getting elected, it should have occurred to Bill Maher that posting a blog just days after Stan Lee’s death laying into adults for reading comics and blaming them for Trump’s victory made him sound like a complete prick

Arbiter of what is or isn’t a consensual penis Enzo Amore demonstrated just how well he had gotten over being fired by WWE by buying a ticket for their Survivor Series pay per view, sneaking into the building in a disguise, and during the show jumping on his chair to make a spectacle of himself - for the few seconds before security dragged his sorry ass out of the arena

For the 2018 edition of using Remembrance Sunday as an excuse to bash Jeremy Corbyn the Daily Mail was up in arms that he attended the Cenotaph wearing an anorak - but then again, given MailOnline users were saying Meghan Markle was being “disrespectful” because...something about her face and not knowing her place, sentiments which definitely don’t sound like the dogwhistling of some indignant racists, it’s as if our soldiers died for these idiots to seethe in their sleep

Just an FYI: when Cressida Dick states that a Metropolitan Police investigation into a leaked dossier is not investigating the Labour party, neither the BBC or the Evening Standard should run headlines saying there’s an investigation into the Labour party - especially since the text of their own reports states that’s not the case

Putting the “amateur” in “amateur football team” was the bizarre story that unfolded when Ballybrack FC announced the death of their player Fernando Nuno La Fuente in a traffic accident...which was certainly news to La Fuente 

With his position of Most Inexplicably Popular Youtuber under threat by the rise of T-Series, all that PewDipShit PewDiePie accepted the challenge by spouting all manner of insane conspiracy theories about the legitimacy of their subscriber count and going so far as to pay for billboards to try and raise his visibility, which looked like her was throwing the sort of tantrum not seen since Veruca Salt was told she couldn't have an Oompa Loompa because his precious record was about to fall - which, of course, his brainless followers swallowed whole

Somehow it never occurred to an estimated twenty members of Direct Action Everywhere who marched into a steakhouse to play audio of cattle being slaughtered to the diners while yelling their various slogans that they’re not getting their message across - you're pissing people off and being dickheads while you’re doing it

Oh-so-edge high schooler/Youtuber NathanTheHicc managed the impossible: he managed to give Bethesda some good PR from the trainwreck that is Fallout 76 after he decided the best way to play the game would be to round up a posse who would grief players while yelling homophobic insults at them through voice chat, or engage in “playful immaturity” as he tried to claim it was when slapped with a ban

None of which exonerates Bethesda from the utter shitshow that is Fallout 76, where not only was the game a bug-riddled mess by Bethesda standards to the point a bug in the game’s beta deleted the whole thing from people’s hard drives the second they installed it, but they couldn’t even fulfill expectations for the tat bundled in with a pre-order special edition - and thought the equivalent of a $5 giftcard was sufficient compensation

It should have occurred to Gary Neville that his being widely misquoted with his summary of Tottenham Hotspur (which was mainly to shut up the clueless Jamie Carragher, who doesn’t appear to understand how finance works) that the best course of action would be to let the whole thing blow over.  Instead he got wound up by his failures as manager of Valencia being brought up by Harry Redknapp and fired back with a spreadsheet...which only drew more attention to his failures at Valencia

And finally, hiding behind an intern as he doesn’t want to get his hands dirty, there’s Donald Trump blaming Californians for fires caused by his budget cuts, which shows it’s not just the midterm results he doesn’t have a clue about

[spicynbachili]

Rajon Rondo Calls Chris Paul a ‘Horrible Teammate,’ Denies Spitting on Him 😳

Within the wake of the Lakers-Rockets brawl this previous weekend, Rajon Rondo continues to disclaim that he deliberately spit on Chris Paul, inflicting the altercation to spiral uncontrolled.

In response to ESPN, in making its choices on penalties, the NBA analyzed court-side footage that appeared to indicate Rondo spitting. He finally received hit with a three-game suspension, with CP3 getting two video games.

Right here’s what the L.A. level guard needed to say in regards to the incident on Tuesday, through ESPN:

“That is the one time I’m going to deal with this. I had a mouthpiece in my mouth and I used to be exasperated as a result of I used to be about to inform him to ‘get the [expletive] out of right here.’

“Have a look at my physique language [in the video]. My palms on my hips. I flip away for a second. Have a look at Eric [Gordon] and Melo within the video. In the event that they noticed me spit, they’d have turned their face up or one thing. They’d no response.

“In fact, the NBA went with [Paul’s] facet as a result of I received three video games and he received two. Everybody desires to imagine Chris Paul is an efficient man. They don’t know he’s a horrible teammate. They don’t understand how he treats folks. Have a look at what he did final 12 months when he was in LA; attempting to get to the Clippers locker room. They don’t need to imagine he’s able to taunting and igniting an incident.

” … He comes out and says I spit and the media sides with that.”

Rondo went on to say that he believes the proof has been tampered with and the story twisted:

“Y’all are enjoying me with these tips or these thoughts video games, tampering with the proof. Ain’t no method that I deliberately spit on you with my physique language the best way it was. One, if I spit on you, backside line, there may be not going to be no finger-pointing. When you felt that I simply spit on you, then all bets are off. Two, take a look at my physique language. If I spit on you on function, I’m going to be prepared for a person to swing on me. You ain’t going to have my palms on my hip and my head look away at somebody if I spit on them. After the [expletive] goes down, inside 30 seconds, you run and inform the sideline reporters that I spit on you? If I spit on you, you are attempting to get to me. You not attempting to make up a narrative so you may appear like a very good man. It is unnecessary to me.

“I used to be going to let it relaxation. I wasn’t going to say a lot. However now I’ve children and I educate my children to talk up for themselves and don’t let the world inform their story.”

RELATED Paul Pierce ‘Not Shocked at All’ By Chris Paul-Rajon Rondo Combat

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from SpicyNBAChili.com http://spicymlbchili.spicynbachili.com/rajon-rondo-calls-chris-paul-a-horrible-teammate-denies-spitting-on-him-%f0%9f%98%b3/

[waveofahand]

Backfield in Motion, Part III

“McBackside”, that’s what we should call Young Paul McCartney, who was thicc before ‘thicc’ was a thing, and whose tush can never be celebrated enough.  I mean, O my heavens, yeah? 

There’s no denying it in ski pants. Thicc. BigandRound. Baby got back.

[ultrasfcb-blog]

EFL: Frank Lampard

EFL: Frank Lampard

EFL: Frank Lampard

Newcastle had been dropping to Aston Villa when Lee Bowyer and Kieron Dyer fell out in 2005

The English Soccer League was again to full power on Saturday, with the return of Championship motion after the worldwide break.

After all it didn’t allow us to down, with damaged data, team-mates scuffling and arguably the league’s most notable title given a ticking off.

BBC Sport brings you 5 issues you will have missed within the EFL.

Blackpool present combating spirit

Anybody bear in mind Newcastle team-mates Kieron Dyer and Lee Bowyer getting despatched off for combating one another? It was 13 years in the past, consider it or not.

Effectively, one thing related occurred between Blackpool’s Marc Bola and Donervon Daniels within the closing phases of their 1-Zero League One victory at backside facet Plymouth.

The pair got their marching orders after a disagreement bought bodily, however the Seasiders held on for the factors.

Requested to explain stoppage time, new Blackpool boss Terry McPhillips mentioned it was “mayhem” and “carnage”.

He advised BBC Radio Lancashire: “I personally thought, watching it stay, it was harsh. No matter’s occurred, we’ll focus on it on Monday.”

The pair may have loads of time to kiss and make up, with three-game bans prone to be heading their approach.

Hat-trick hero Henderson’s ‘naughty’ ending

Veteran striker Ian Henderson has scored 126 profession targets, reaching double figures within the league in every of his previous 5 seasons at Rochdale.

However the former Colchester man, 33, netted his first senior hat-trick in Dale’s 3-Zero overcome Gillingham in League One, taking him to 95 targets for the membership.

“Perhaps three years in the past I mentioned one among my targets and ambitions was to grow to be the highest goalscorer ever within the membership’s historical past,” Henderson advised BBC Radio Manchester.

It’s no shock that he has such confidence – the ahead was denied a fourth purpose by the referee’s whistle – and Henderson’s description of his third, an acrobatic scissor kick, was entertaining.

“Thankfully sufficient the approach and timing was proper and it went in – it was slightly little bit of a naughty end.”

In day for skilled campaigners within the third tier, James Coppinger scored to make it 14 seasons in a row that he has bought on the scoresheet for Doncaster. They thrashed beforehand unbeaten Walsall 4-1.

Lampard sees crimson at Rotherham

Frank Lampard made a profession out of arriving late within the space, however on Saturday a foray exterior his technical space landed him in sizzling water.

The previous Chelsea and England midfielder was despatched off as 10-man Derby had been crushed by Rotherham within the Championship.

Having already seen his workforce concede a penalty and have Tom Lawrence dismissed, Rams boss Lampard misplaced his rag at one other resolution that went towards him and was despatched off.

“I did not get a phrase from the ref. I want to return to the rulebook myself as a result of I don’t need to be leaving the sport,” he advised BBC Radio Derby.

“I used to be upset with a handball. If these are the foundations, managers will get despatched off each sport.

“I like communication with officers however there was none of that. It wasn’t a penalty. They bought a tender one however we did not get one.”

Welcome to soccer administration, Mr Lampard!

Anybody for a caption competitors?

Yeovil present Newport the Means

Scoring half a dozen targets away from house is the type of factor you’d anticipate a workforce to do as soon as in a decade possibly? Yeovil have completed it twice in slightly over 5 months.

Having tonked ex-Premier League facet Coventry 6-2 in their very own again yard in April, the Glovers put six previous second-placed Newport with out reply in south-east Wales for his or her largest ever win within the Soccer League.

Darren Means’s facet additionally gained 4-Zero at Notts County in August and it isn’t nearly scoring targets – they’ve saved six clear sheets in a row.

“It isn’t simply been one sport, that is the great thing about it,” former Yeovil midfielder Means advised BBC Radio Bristol.

“I do know we’re solely seven video games in however the supporters usually are not foolish, they’ll see a workforce that would presumably achieve success.”

However not all of the Glovers’ latest high-scoring away video games have gone their approach – they had been handed an 8-2 thrashing at Luton in August 2017.

Studying and Clement lastly win away

Clement was assistant to Carlo Ancelotti at Actual Madrid and Bayern Munich

Soccer is usually a humorous previous sport, as demonstrated by these stats:

Earlier than Saturday, Paul Clement’s final league win as Studying supervisor got here towards Preston in April 2018.

Clement hadn’t gained any of his previous 13 away matches as a supervisor, together with his final win on the highway coming towards Studying as Swansea supervisor in September 2017 within the Carabao Cup.

Former Derby and Swansea boss Clement went full circle to place each of these stats to mattress, with the Royals recovering from two setbacks to win 3-2 at Preston within the Championship.

“It is a feeling that we’ve not had a whole lot of just lately by way of the league,” he advised BBC Radio Berkshire.

“They’ve responded nicely to a whole lot of adversity at the beginning of the season, however hopefully this shall be a momentum-changer for our season.”

BBC Sport – Football ultras_FC_Barcelona

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