#Peas makes LU Stuff

[peasgaming64]

This month for the OLC telephone game I had a four day weekend to kill and an animation program open.

CW Blood: Its not detailed but its present basically the whole animatic

[outerbankslut]

Here For You... JJ Maybank

Summary • One afternoon after seeing a certain blond pogue hurt you are left confused and worried for him. So you set out to figure out exactly whats happened to him or more like what happens behind the closed doors of the Maybank residence.

Warnings • Swearing. Cannabis abuse. Mentions of abuse(from the show)-And please if you’re going through anything like that please talk to someone. My doors always open if you need to talk <3

Word Count • 4.3k (Imagine)

Masterlist

(GIF isn’t mine, let me know if it’s yours)

    FLOUR ENCASED YOUR clothing as you finally slid the greased up tray into the oven, dusting your hands off after. John B and your friends were out on the boat for the day which you declined to have the day to yourself to bake cookies and do homework in peace without the likes of John B your brother and JJ your best friend. He stayed around a lot and at this point he basically lived there but you didn't mind. Truth be told, you had a big fat crush on the boy. But it was the opposite of all teenage love stories. He didn't love you back. You often found yourself happy to wake up and see the boy sitting around the house drinking beer or smoking a joint. He gave a sense of comfort in the house that felt so empty without your dad.

You and John B being twins shared most things—one being friends. You had known the blond since you were in third grade, and that was when the crush bloomed but you could tell by his constant hookups he didn't know nor reciprocate those feelings. He only thought of you as a friend.

Then there was Pope. Occasionally you worked down at his dads shop for extra money for rent if your uncle didn't come through with it as well as groceries since he didn't seem to care if you or John B starved. Pope was the sweetest and smartest boy you had met. When your brother refused to show you how to drive a boat the Pope showed you on delivery once. Though it got you in trouble with Heyward when you turned back up late to the shop.

And Kiara. She was a Kook. Got a taste of both sides of the jungle. The kooks didn't sit well with her so she ended up an honorary pogue. She was your best friend as soon as she joined the group since you'd never had a girl to talk to since your mum left and your house was filled with boys.

You sighed as you settled down atop the counter looking at your phone as you added a timer since the one on the oven was broken. It was all quiet apart from the low hum of the oven fan until a door was shoved open and stumbling footsteps walked round the house.

Everyone else was on the boat, so who the hell was this?

You picked up the wooden base ball bat from that leaned on the wall just in case and held your phone ready to call 911 and inched towards where the sound was coming from.

And the bathroom light was on, you furrowed your eyes brows in confusion.

Then when you pushed open the door you caught a flash of golden blond locks as the boy quickly turned around putting his shirt on quickly.

"JJ?"

A bruise had formed just beneath his eye and along his cheek bone, mixed arrays of blues and purples splashed with the cream colour of his skin. You gasped as you saw it. His lip was busted and there was a small cut just above his eyebrow.

You reached forward to get a better look at his face as you finger lightly grazed over the bruise and he flinched away slightly making you frown.

"Sorry." You pulled away looking at the boy who had nothing to say in that moment but normally was not the quiet type. "Wait, why are you here? I thought you were on the boat with the others."

"I decided not to go today. I—um, had to help out my dad with some stuff at home." His voice wavered as he spoke leading you to believe he was keeping something. Then he turned his eyes to you. "What about you? Didn't think anyone would be here."

"I have homework to do. But that's beside the point. What happened to your face?"

He panicked. You couldn't know. As much as he wanted to wrap his arms around you and just stay there forever in your safe arms he couldn't. He couldn't drag you into his mess of a life. If would be best if you stayed just outside of it. You couldn't get hurt because of him.

"Homework. And I thought Pope was the nerd." He was deflecting. You rolled your eyes at the act. Something was definitely up. If this was just a small run in with Rafe other other Kooks then why would he be hiding that?

You sighed deciding not to question him for a second. Though you wanted to know who did it so you could punch them, he could tell you in his own time.

"I can help clean you up, got some frozen peas in the freezer. And some antiseptic wipes for that cut. But after that I want to know what happened."

"You know, I forgot I've got to get back to work and stuff. I'll see you later, Lu." He rushed past you away from the bathroom he had sought refuge in, where he thought he was alone but the prying eyes of Lucie Routledge never once left his.

"Wait, JJ!"

But he didn't stop. He carried on until he was perched on his bike and you were walking down the porch stairs.

He ignored you pulling on his helmet though when doing so his shirt rode up slightly and you got a glimpse of how bad it really was. How bad his homelife was. Though you didn't connect the dots just yet.

You gasped with a hand over your mouth seeing bruises all down his side, a messy painting of purples, blues and greens mashed together. But before you could say anything he sped away leaving you in your thoughts about what the hell happened.

The rest of the night you filled the out the pit in your stomach with chocolate chip cookies and empty thoughts. Since then you couldn't concentrate on your homework having given up an hour ago just when John B came back with Pope and Kie.

Your brother barrelled into your room a cookie in hand and jumped onto your bed as you winced hoping it didn't break.

"Did you guys have a good day?"

"Yeah. Especially since you weren't there." He joked taking a hefty bite of the cookie just as you threw your pillow his way.

He noticed your expression after that. You were distracted and confused and seemed distant.

"What's up with you?"

You sent him a puzzled look. "Nothings up with me. I don't know what you're talking about."

He rolled his eyes before standing up and messing up your hair with his hand which you promptly slapped away. "Well if you want to talk then I'm just next door."

Except you weren't part of the thoughts plaguing your mind. It was JJ.

    THE NEXT DAY when everyone was round at the Chateau JJ didn't even look at you. His gaze was focused either on the ground or towards whoever was speaking except from you. You could never get him alone to talk to him since he made sure you were never alone in a room and would spark up a conversation with literally anyone before you could utter a word.

It was midday and you were out on the HMS pogue with them all sitting next to Kie. John B was fishing, JJ was smoking as usual on the other side of the boat, Pope was reading and Kie was on her phone while you were braiding your hair. If the others weren't here you would definitely be able to cut the tension between you and JJ with a knife. If he was going to ignore you for wanting to help him then so would you. Two can play at that game.

The others could sense something was wrong though and were choosing to ignore it. They could tell since JJ had only flirted with Kie all day. He'd willingly had a conversation about science stuff with Pope. And none of them had seen either of you speak a word to each other.

As you sat with your eyes covered by sunglasses and body clad in a purple bikini you heard a squeal emitting from beside you and turned to see John B tipping fish out of a net right next to you and Kie and you felt a small splash on your legs of water from the dead Sea life.

"Nice haul, dude. Look at that." JJ commented.

Kie grimaced scouting away as she moaned at the boy for putting it so close to her. "Ugh, John B."

"Been all bait for, like, three weeks." Then John B threw a fish at JJ landing beside him.

"Gross."

Then your brother turned to you holding a fish in his hand and you scooted further away practically laying on Kie. "John B, do not thr—"

You were interrupted by the slimy fish landing on your lap after it had hit your face. JJ erupted with laughter at that as you narrowed your eyes. Practically the only interaction he had today with you. You narrowed your eyes on JJ before turning to John B and throwing the fish back at him as he ran to the other side of the boat.

Then JJ tackled down at the bow of the boat laughing before Pope jumped on top and Kie joined.

"Incoming." You yelled as you flopped down on the four people pile hearing groans in response with muffled laughter.

"I think you guys squished my organs." John B muttered as JJ nodded but you couldn't help but lie there and wish that this would be the way your life was for ever. The boat adventures, surfing, island life and doing whatever the fuck you wanted.

"Uh... Lu?" Kie muttered nudging your side and you jumped off realising you had just been sitting and staring into space. You noticed JJ wincing slightly as you all got up and felt guilty. Though he did jump into it himself. Literally.

"Sorry."

"No problem, my lungs may no longer work but it's fine." John B said and you flicked him on the forehead when he sat up.

Kie looked to you as though she got an idea and smiled. "Food at the wreck? I've got a shift in like...an hour."

"Not gonna turn down food. Especially from the wreck my favourite place on earth."

"My dads not gonna give you a discount for ass kissing." Kie deadpanned to JJ who looked dejected as you laughed. "You can have leftovers from are lunch menu though if I can convince him."

"Score." He pumped his fist in the air and you rolled your eyes. This was going to be a long day if he kept this up.

    AT THE WRECK the table could not been more awkward. The only seats left were next to each other that both you and JJ were forced to take while the other three sat on the other side of the round table laughing and joking around. It was like they did it on purpose. You picked at the fries in the small basket while JJ entered the conversation and you kept mulling over yesterday. The thought of JJ hating you felt horrible—like you were about to throw up every passing second. It may seem an overreaction to him ignoring you all day but why else would he be. Maybe you did something yesterday. Maybe you said something wrong. Maybe you—

"Lu?" Kiara stared concerned from beside you. Maybe you'd been lost in your thoughts for too long.

"What's up?"

She pointed to your hand and you looked down to see in your ranting thoughts you hadn't paid much attention to anything else and had squished a few fries in your hand. "You murdered some poor fries." She pouted as you laughed.

"Oh. Oops." You dropped them into the basket and by impulse sent a fleeting glance towards JJ who stared at his own food eating slowly which was unusual for him.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine."

Kie nodded in response slowly not really believing you.

"Okay, well I have to go start my shift now. So I’ll see y'all later." You all waved goodbye to the Carrera girl before finishing your food and heading back out on the boat from the docks by the wreck.

First it was dropping Pope off at Heywards to help his dad and then you headed back to the chateau, a silence among you until your brother coughed awkwardly looking between the two off you.

"Okay, none of us said anything earlier but you guys are acting weird. First it was you guys not speaking a word to each other. Then it was your fry mass murder. What's going on?"

"Nothing." JJ shrugged nonchalantly. Yep absolutely nothing was wrong. It was all fine and dandy.

"Whatever you guys want to think." John B shrugged not pushing anymore.

Once you got back to the Chateau John B docked up the boat just as JJ walked off down the dock to the house. You sighed. Could you give him anymore time? This couldn't go on for much longer. Surely.

    HE WAS STILL ignoring you the next day and it was just pissing you off now. So you stormed out to the porch where he had laid himself across the couch smoking. John B was out at work so it was just the two of you there and he was actively avoiding you.

"JJ!"

Still nothing. So you did something he would definitely respond to. You went up to him and before he realised, you had snatched the joint from his fingertips.

"Hey!"

"So now you talk to me." He scowled before attempting to take the joint back but you moved backwards sending concerned eyes to his rigid figure. "I'm worried about you JJ. You come in with bruises and avoid telling me why or letting me help you and then you ignore me all day yesterday. What's going on?"

His eyes softened as he focused his gaze on you and ran a hand through his hair turning around. And just when you thought he was going to open up to you he stopped the softness in his eyes dissipating into emptiness.

"What’s wrong is you just don’t know when to let off. You need to mind your own business Lu. You’re fucking annoying getting in everyone’s business all the time.” His voice was angry but it didn’t reach his eyes. The frustration didn’t reach those baby blue eyes. In fact they were filled with a sea of guilt and regret. But it was done now. He couldn’t go back now. And he knew he’d royally fucked up when he saw your face melt into a melancholy frown. But what did he expect?

So it was your fault. You were too nosey? But you were truly just worried about your friend. Is that a crime?

“Are you joking or something?” You laughed to ease the tension but the coldness in his face didn’t break. “You’ve been mad at me because I care? Your my friend, of course I care. I’m not going to apologise for getting into your business if it means that you’re okay.”

“It’s getting unbearable! You’re getting unbearable and annoying. I can’t—I just needed—need a break! So forgive me for not wanting to talk to you today! Because no one asked you to help them, it’s not your fucking place!”

“I know no one asked thats just what you do as a friend. You support them no matter what. Those bruises are clearly from something bad if you don’t want me to know. So I’m sorry someone actually fucking cares about you JJ!” Your voice raised towards the end but then cracked at the tears building in your throat suffocating you.

It broke JJ. He was causing this. He was the idiot that made you think you were anything less than amazing. But it was for your own good. Right?

Your best friend and unrequited love, thinks your unbearable and annoying and intrusive. And yet had never mentioned it all this time.

“I just need a break for a bit, I need you to leave me alone for a bit and so I can cool off. Is that too hard for you?!”

“What? Our friendship? You can’t just put something like that on hold. You can go fuck yourself cause when your ‘ready’ and ‘cooled off’ I won’t fucking care. Find yourself some new friends who don’t care about you cause it won’t be hard for me to leave you the fuck alone!” You spat at him. Was it too harsh? You were scared it was but he was harsh first. He didn’t say anything after. Just stayed quiet as you scoffed, salty tears sliding down your cheeks.

"You're a fucking asshole JJ Maybank." You shook your head and shoved past the boy. Your mind had completely forgotten about the bruises now. If he wanted to stay out of his business then so be it. You would remove him completely from your life.

The rest of the day you lounged around the house. After the argument you hadn't given JJ his joint back so you got high the rest of the time and it helped. For a few hours and then you were back to mourning your friendship. Thinking about all the good times you’d had. All the times when he didn’t seem to hate you. The blond hadn't resurfaced. He left just after the argument going somewhere but obviously you didn't ask.

It was days after that and you were laying in your bed that was pressed up beside the window and staring at the sky thinking about the blonds words over and over.

A loud knock startled you out of your gaze and you looked down to see the figure of the boy you had been thinking about all day. Your eyes settled on him narrowed and blazing until you saw his face. Littered with more bruises than the day before. More than you could count.

He stood looking so much smaller than any other time than you had seen him. His eyes were watery and red and you could see him trembling slightly. You immediately wanted to take him into your arms and hug him tight. But would he want to?

You quickly went and opened your window allowing him in as you scooted backwards in your bed. When he got in you immediately went and hugged him not even asking for an explanation this time. He was upset and hurt and what he needed then was comfort not an interrogation.

As soon as your arms wrapped around his body he shook with sobs his tears running down your shoulder.

You rubbed his back and made soothing circles as tears of your own leaked out. After 10 minutes he moved away looking down not feeling like he could even look you in the eye after earlier and him crying to you.

"I'm so sorry, Lu. I didn't mean to hurt you and I didn't mean anything I said. I just didn't want you to know. I didn’t want you to know—to see how weak I was. I wanted to push you away so you wouldn't get involved in my messed up life." You nodded slowly as more tears fell. Tears of relief but also sadness. Sad that he didn’t think he could come to you. To confide in you and that instead he pushed you away in the worst way possible hurting you both.

JJ felt like shit. Emotionally and physically. He couldn’t believe what he had done to you days earlier. It was like his mind was in autopilot not allowing you to do anything by watch as you both argued.

He still avoided your gaze until you softly put a hand under his chin lifting his gaze to your as you smiled sadly at him. "It's okay J. I just wanted to make sure you were okay so I could help or stop it somehow. But right now there's more important things than that and I need to get some first aid stuff."

Just as you got up his hand reached out to yours holding it softly and stopping you in your tracks.

"It was my dad."

You froze tears gathering at the hoarseness of his voice and the crack that echoed when he said it. His dad. Though you never liked Luke Maybank, you never thought he would stoop this low. Beating his own child. It would take a lot of willpower not to go over there and give him a taste of his own medicine. The one person that’s supposed to take care of him. To love him. Beats him instead.

You didn't say anything except hug him once more time. Holding him tight but careful around the bruises areas. The thought of his dad putting those bruises and scars all over his body made you sick to your stomach. How dare he. How dare he think he had any right to lay a hand on his child like that.

You left when he sat perched on the edge of your bed no longer crying. It broke your heart since JJ was a tough nut to crack half the time. But this was obviously going to be his breaking point. It would be anyone’s.

You gathered all the thing you'd need and took JJ to the bathroom careful not to wake John B as you did.

"Tell me if it hurts okay?" He nods and you take an antiseptic wipe towards the new cut on his cheek dabbing it gently to clean it. There was another cut on his arm and his split lip which you cleaned as well as the boy stared at you intently. You felt redness spread across your cheeks as you finally looked into his eyes.

"What?" You asked and he just shook his head a small smile appearing.

"I'm just realising how much of an idiot I was pushing you away this morning. Your my best friend—no you're more than that and I shouldn't have done that I just didn't want to get you caught up in this mess."

"Exactly JJ. I'm your best friend. A best friend is meant to be there for you in moments of weakness or through things like this. I don't care about being caught up in all this I just care about you. I’m here for you. Always." You carried on cleaning his open wounds carefully. JJ realises in that moment. You were the one person who stood by him when he got beat up in 4th grade by a bully or when people were hanging up on him and you stood up for him. You stuck around when he did crazy shit that the others didn’t stick around for. He realised that as much as you were there for him, he wanted to be there for you. He wanted to be loved by you. Not by his lowlife dad. Or his random Touron hookups. He wanted them to be you. Always you. He loved you.

"I love you." He spurted out and you stifled a gasp as you stood silently, your hand frozen in air millimetres from his face as you stared at each other. The way he said it didn’t sound like just a friend I love you. It sounded like something more. Some more which you reciprocated but you didn’t think there would ever be a day when he would say that.

"I love you too." You laughed it off.

"No Lu, I—I love you more than a friend."

“I love you more than a friend too. JJ Maybank.” His eyes widened in happiness the corners of his lip turning up and stretching as he grinned despite his split lip.

He looked like he couldn't believe it. But you had been crushing on him for longer than you could remember but you always thought it was one way. That he thought of you like a sister or something.

But maybe this whole time you had both been oblivious to each other’s blatant feelings. At least it was out now.

He placed two hands softly on your cheeks and gently pulled you in closer smashing your lips together. You could taste the metallic blood of his cut as your tongues brushed over each other’s but you didn’t care. You both pulled away breathless as you smiled into his touch. JJ looked dazed. Though the thoughts of his injuries still plagued your mind as you pulled away running out of the room to get an ice pack and some tylenol.

The bruises running down his body made you more angry by the second. But you couldn’t be blinded by that. Keeping a level head for the boy was what was important.

When you came back the boy grinned shaking his head.

“You didn’t need to get me that. What we just did was enough of a pain reliever. Though it did make me wanna relieve myself in another way if you—”

“JJ. No.” He pouted as you said that like a sad puppy.

“Another time?”

“Yeah whatever.” You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help but smile. Somehow even through this JJ managed to smile and joke around. He had his bad days. Like the last. But he was strong. And you loved him for that. “I’m always here for you if you need me. In that way and any other way. Also you’re not going home.”

“Of course, Milady. Why don’t we go watch Netflix and—”

“Do not finish that J.”

“Awe, come on.”

Note • This is so long Jesus. And it took me so long to finish writing and edit and I still kinda hate it but I don’t think it’ll get better than this. Oh well. Oh I forgot that when I was writing it I gave them a name rather than y/n and I cba to change it now.

[linked-heroes]

Wait who was the first one you made then? And can I hear about your Skyward Sword one? Sky was my first Link crush growing up so I’m curious how they are like. :)

For Skyward mine is basically turned into the Cafe Au (Y/N) when I redrew her.

My first one for botw. It was the first loz game I can remember playing clearly as an adult with my fully developed mind and all that lol (like I recall playing links awakening at the least as a very small child on the nes (or was it the super nes?) but that’s as a kid and so it’s foggy and jumbled.

Nia is the first OC for loz tho. She’s evolved a lot as I fell in love with Link. And then met Sidon and developed other vague Ocs and then went, “screw it” and made Nia/Link/Sidon as a trio. (Cause canon wise I ship sidlink and revalink)

@clearwillow has actually made amazing art of Nia a few years ago that I absolutely love. She’ll have to make new art soon tho because I’ve been reworking some things for Nia, especially with learning and realizing some things for loz. She’s the most fleshed out character tho. Even with changes (which not too big aside from a little how she looks and how a few background thing would be altered) that have come about. She’s still a type of isekai oc tho.

I got ss game when it dropped this year but thanks to executive dysfunction I haven’t been able to make myself play it yet (I’m also trying to 100% complete my botw game so…)

So I’ve never played ss but I know a decent amount of things for it? (Kind of).

The OC for sky started as an isekai that was pulled into wilds empty body in the shrine. So they took his place. And they couldn’t remember their name and a few details from before so they called Eris. After the god/dess of Chaos. And let me tell you, they’re chaotic af.

Over time ideas changed and I found lu and eldritch link ideas and other stuff and fell in love with thins. Eris changed to something else, isekai but reborn into a normal family, wilds companion and partner. And a few other ideas that changed about. Eris identifies with the Rito the most tho and adopts their culture and everything. (Not sure if I’ll have this still but first draft Eris as an Air Force pilot and loved flying and high places) so when I started more into lu and falling for all the boys, Eris and sky seemed to be a good match. They started as a BROTP tho, just two bestie peas in a pod loving to fly and nap and other things.

I sadly haven’t done much for Eris since the changes so I don’t have to much for them yet (they’re gender neutral but more she/her and feminine leaning) I’ve been trying to do one OC at a time so all have some basic details but only a few more figured out.

But, uh. Yeah. I’m working on them! I can do more details for each specifically tho?

[lu-undy]

(This is my second time requesting after you opened your askbox, but you wouldn't know that :)) Lu and Medic play a violin and piano duet together (or Demo plays the piano and Lu sings) and Mundy kinda has a bruh moment wherein he realizes he loves Lucien

Hey there! Glad to see you come back :D !! Here it is, Spy sings like a God, hope you enjoy!

"So, what did you prepare for tonight, fancypants?" 

"Scout, ask me one more time and what you will need to prepare for tonight is your will." 

"Alright, alright…" Scout sighed. "You party pooper…" He mumbled to himself.

Sniper smothered his chuckle. Around the dinner table, the mercenaries were enjoying their dinner, their dessert to be more precise.

"Pardon?" Spy asked menacingly in his native tongue. 

"N-nothing…" Scout hid behind his yogurt, scared. 

"So, tonight is Spy's turn, right?" Engie asked, to brighten things up.

"Oui. I asked Demo for some help."

"You yelled at me for the entire week, mate. Please, Engie, never let him rehearse his stuff with me, send anyone else but me!" Demo took a swig of his beloved scrumpy. 

"I only pushed you to give your best for our performance tonight." Spy simply answered and he saw Sniper roll his eyes with a smile. 

"Alrighty then, if we're finished with dinner, you guys go and get ready, we'll come in about half an hour."

"Very well. Demoman, I will not wait for you." 

[Très bien.]

"Someone please save me from him…" Demo exaggerated his plea.

"C'mon, mate, how hard can it be?" Sniper said to comfort him. 

"Well, very hard! Next time, you go and work with him!" 

Sniper blushed as Demo and Spy left the room. 

It was a habit now. Every couple of nights, one mercenary would prepare something to entertain his colleagues. It could be a movie, a game of whatever to play or watch all together, anything. They had put that in place in order to spend less dull evenings in that harsh winter. Being the only building for miles around in the blizzard meant that they were stuck for the entire winter there. 

Pyro and Scout finished washing the dishes while people slowly gathered in the training room. It had been turned into a second living room with seats and a TV screen, if one could forget the boxing ring and other sports accessories and installations. 

"Right, I think we're all here. Sniper, the lights, please?" 

Sniper nodded and flipped the switch before taking a seat at the back of course, given how tall he was. The main light turned off and Pyro switched on a spotlight. 

Silence fell for a moment and then, footsteps. Spy appeared, better dressed than usual, which Sniper thought was barely even possible. He was wearing a black tuxedo and black and white polished leather shoes. His eyes shone beautifully under the spotlight. 

Suddenly, a few piano notes. A second light switched on and showed Demo on the piano behind Spy. The latter propped himself up to sit on the piano and grabbed the nearby microphone to start singing as the piano carried his voice. 

{To the reader: the song is "Windmills of your mind" as sung by Noel Harrison}

"Round, like a circle in a spiral,

Like a wheel within a wheel,

Never ending or beginning

On an ever-spinning reel."

Sniper's eyes snapped wide. Spy was speaking more than he was singing and it was so pleasant to hear… His accent helped to make it more true somehow, more mellow.

The notes on the piano accompanied the Frenchman's voice beautifully, coming and going again, in an endless and cyclic arpeggio…

Spy was saying the words like he would declaim a poem, his voice ever so slightly flowing on the notes, the syllables stressed as they should be, the rhythm impeccably followed. His brow would furrow at times, and relax at others, and if at first he started with open eyes, by now, his eyes were shut and he was drinking the meaning of the words he was saying as if it was the air he needed to breathe.

Suddenly he elegantly dropped down from the piano and stood proud in front of his audience. He held the microphone a bit further from his lips and opened his arms, revealing a vest that Sniper had never seen him wear before. Black with satin cashmere motifs that glimmered under the spotlight...

"Keys that jingle in your pocket,

Words that jangle in your head."

Spy's voice was slightly more powerful, it was only a small difference in volume, but Sniper felt his ribcage and his knees tremble. He shook his head to shoo those feelings away and took a deep breath.

"Why did summer go so quickly?

Was it something that you said?

Lovers walk along the shore 

And leave their footprints in the sand. 

Is the sound of distant drumming

Just the fingers of your hand?

Pictures hanging in a hallway,

And the fragment of a song,

Half remembered names and faces,

But to whom do they belong?"

Spy opened his eyes and Sniper's snapped wide open. His long, dark eyelashes seemed different, were they wet? His light blue, almost grey irises were glistening…

"When I knew that it was over,

I was suddenly aware

That the autumn leaves were turning

To the color 

Of his hair."

Spy's keen eyes never left Sniper's half mesmerised and three quarters thrilled ones. The poor Aussie felt as if he was the only person in the audience to a concert that suddenly became very private. His heart was pumping fast, unlike Spy's rhythm which slowed down. He was back to whispering, a gloved hand on his heart, and said, much more slowly this time:

"The autumn leaves were turning 

To the colour

Of his hair."

Demo concluded with a few bars on the piano and then came to a halt. Spy nodded to him and new chords rolled in the air. The rhythm was a samba's, much more lively and light-hearted. Spy snapped his fingers in rhythm.

{To the reader: the song is "So Nice" I recommend the version by Sangah Noona}

"Someone to hold me tight,

That would be very nice,

Someone to love me right,

That would be very nice.

Someone to understand 

Each little dream in me,

Someone to take my hand,

To be a team with me.

So nice,

Life would be so nice, 

If one day I find

Someone who would take my hand and samba through life with me." 

Soldier started rocking left and right on his seat, dragging Engie with him. Medic joined them and Spy, seeing that his rhythmic song was dragging everyone in a good mood, started smiling. Not only did his lips purse up but his eyes were expressing genuine delight somehow. 

Sniper was smiling too, a dreamy grin as he rested his chin on his hand and his elbow on his armrest, slowly melting on his chair. 

"What the hell…." He mumbled to himself as he straightened his back on his chair and tried to resume a more normal posture.

The music accelerated as Medic dragged Heavy to swinging on his chair too. 

"Someone to cling to me

stay with me right or wrong,"

The Aussie couldn't believe it. Spy was dancing. The man with a sense of humor as big as a green pea was dancing. And God those hips! He was swinging them almost seductively and Sniper's heart skipped a beat… How come the Frenchman was so flexible with his hips?! 

Sniper opened the first button of his polo shirt as a sweat started breaking on his brow.

"Someone to sing to me

Some little samba song!

Someone to take my heart and give his heart to me,

Someone who's ready to give love a start with me!"

Spy winked at Sniper who blushed and looked left and right to see if it was for someone else.

"Oh yes, 

That would be so nice."

Sniper now breathed heavily, the room was hot, way too hot.

"Should it be you and me?

I could see it would be nice!"

He removed his hat and carded his hair, feeling some fresh air flow through it to cool down his scalp. Sniper was blushing way beyond his ears. He looked down for a second, as Demo improvised on the piano and when he raised his head up again, Spy had disappeared from the improvised stage. The rest of the mercenaries had stood up and were dancing to Demo playing. 

Sniper was panting. The image of Spy, his piercing eyes riveted on him, dancing slowly, swinging his hips was carved on his eyes as if it was marble. And that wink...

He shook his head again as he started to realise why he was sweating like that, why he had enjoyed every second of Spy staring at him even though he would never admit so...

A whistle caught his attention. 

Sniper turned his head. It had come from the door. He barely saw a silhouette slip away. Without thinking, he stood up and followed it. He pushed the door and exited the training room. The sound of the music and dancing was deafened by the closed door now and Sniper focused on knowing where that shadow went. 

The corridor was very dark. He reached for a switch but didn't flip it. Something told him that it was better that way. 

The whistle again. 

Sniper went to find its source but as he came to find it, he heard the base's main door shut. He went there and exited himself. 

The night was pitch dark and the wind was howling. Sniper looked around him and saw nothing. But he heard the slam of a metallic door that he instantly recognised. Whoever he was following, they had entered his van. Sniper followed suit and found himself inside in no time. 

It was pitch dark inside but there was a tiny orange glimmering light and the smell of a menthol cigarette soon found his nose.

"I see you enjoyed the show." The voice with the French accent said. 

The orange light came from the end of Spy's cigarette. 

"Yeah, well, it was pretty good."

"Good enough for you to follow a shadow all the way here…"

"Yeah, it was decent."

"...without this." Spy finished his sentence and Sniper felt something land on his head. His pupils shrank as he realised he had forgotten his very hat.

"Y-yeah well… I had to make sure it was one of us and not… an intruder or something."

Spy spotted the bad lie as he would an elephant in a porcelain shop.

"How would anyone come to the base through this blizzard? Even the Mann Co. supplies have stopped coming. The roads are blocked, airdrop is impossible. No intruders can come here, by no means."

"Y-you never know." Sniper answered. 

"Non, but you did." 

"What?" 

"You knew it was me you were following. You didn't know where I was going and why I kept whistling at you for you to follow me, but you did and here we are: in that ridiculous dwelling of yours that you dare call a home."

"Oi, my van's the perfect place." 

"For what?"

Sniper felt Spy get closer to him. They were face to face in the dark and Sniper saw Spy's eyes reflect the faint lights coming from the base.

"You tell me." Spy answered with a smirk that Sniper heard somehow. 

"What d'you want?" Sniper asked. 

"An honest answer." 

"What's your question?"

"Why do you think I chose those songs to sing to you?" 

Sniper felt hot as he was put on the spot. 

"What d'you mean?" 

"I sang for you, that, you have noticed. But why those songs in particular? What was their message?"

Sniper sighed. He moved to sit on his worn out couch. 

"I-I don't know, okay? And that's a lot of questions. J-just go and leave me here." 

Spy sat next to him. 

"Let me ask you something else then, how did you find my suit tonight?" 

Sniper's eyes snapped wide when he felt Spy's hand on his forearm. It soothed him as much as it made him anxious. 

"Elegant, beautiful, classy." 

"Thank you." Spy said with a smile. "I did try to make an effort."

"Y-yeah, I noticed." 

"Did you notice my mask?" 

"N-no, I mean… It's the same one as usual." 

"Not exactly." Spy answered. "Switch on the light, you will see it better."

Sniper stood up and flipped the switch. When he turned again to face the Frenchman, he choked on his saliva and coughed multiple times. He put a hand on his eyes and another on his chest to ease his cough while Spy chuckled. 

"Mon pauvre ami… I half apologise for this."

[My poor friend]

"Oh, Lord, Spook…" Sniper said between two fits of cough as he still hid his eyes behind his hand.

Spy giggled. 

"You did have your mask back there, right? I didn't just imagine it?"

"I did have it. I removed it as I entered your van. You may look if you want." 

"B-but, isn't that against your rules or something?"

"My rules?" Spy repeated, amused. 

"Yeah, I don't know, whatever rules or codes or whatever you Spooks have."

Spy chuckled. 

"There are no such things, Sniper. If I hide my face, it is because I would rather people not see me and recognise me. It is better that way." 

"Then why show me your face?" Sniper asked his hand still hiding his eyes to not see his friend.

"Because I am still a free man and I do what I want."

"And you want to show me your face?" 

"Why not?" 

"Spook, I swear… You're a whole new level of complicated."

Spy put his hand on Sniper's and pulled it away, slowly. Sniper couldn't help but stare. It seemed as though he was discovering a whole new person. It wasn't Spy, it was… well, someone else. 

"Do I have something on my face for you to stare like this?" Spy teased.

"Well," Sniper felt himself sweating again, "I'd say you're missin' something on your face, but eh, who am I to say?"

Spy chuckled. 

"Would you rather I put the mask back?" He cheekily asked. 

"No - I mean, if you're more comfy with it, put it on but…"

"But?" Spy pushed his luck. 

Sniper was staring at his hair. It was mostly black but there was a front grey tuft and the temples too betrayed Spy's age.

"But I-I don't know… Thanks, I guess." 

"For what?" Spy asked. 

"For feeling like you can show me your face. I guess that means you think you can trust me - oh."

Spy had taken Sniper's hand off his face but he wasn't letting go of it. Non, instead he laced his fingers through it. 

"And now?" Spy asked. 

"And now what?" 

"Now, do you know why I chose to sing these songs for you?" 

Sniper blushed. 

"I-I don't know… I'm not sure. Can't you just say it? It'd be a lot easier for the both of us!"

"For you, oui, for me however, it would be quite difficult." 

Sniper rolled his eyes. 

"How hard can it be?" He asked. 

"Almost as hard as what I'm about to do is foolish…" Spy closed the gap between the two of them and pushed his lips against Sniper's. 

Sniper froze. His muscles froze, his blood froze, his heart stopped sharp, like a watch stops at the time of death, Sniper's body burst alive all at once. His hands flew forward to hold Spy closer, his eyes rolled and closed, and his eyebrows slowly rose and relaxed. Spy's naked hands slid up to Sniper's cheeks and he stayed there, hanging from Sniper's lips with his own.

Eventually, they broke the kiss. 

"Woah… Spook, I didn't know you, uh…"

Spy raised his light blue, almost grey eyes to Sniper.

"Did you even realise that you held those feelings for me too?" 

"M-maybe." 

"Sniper…?" 

"Right, yeah, I realised it when you sang today. I-I just felt weird and I knew…"

Spy smiled sweetly, as he brushed Sniper's cheek with his long and slim fingers. 

"I'm glad you feel the same." Spy said. 

"As if you were surprised… You look gorgeous with that suit on and now, without the mask, you're just…" Sniper's eyes darted to every detail of Spy's face. 

He bit his lip and suddenly pulled Spy's head to him again. He kissed Spy with such force and passion that Spy lost his legs. Thank God he was sitting down and Sniper was holding him, or he would have flowed down to the floor like a liquid. 

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

In Sorrow and In Joy- Part 6: Routine

Luke learns the hard way what it means to be a dad and how to keep his family safe and together. Dad!Luke with a South Asian Reader. This is a collaborative experience with A Family of Five.

CW: Over the course of this series, themes of racism and prejudice on the basis of religion are present. Please read or skip as necessary.

Enjoy my masterlist | Series Masterlist

Support me on kofi

No one has my permission to repost my work of fiction. This includes translations as well. 

_________________________

You have to leave for a conference. Your classes are cancelled much to the relief of your students. You’ll be gone for a week; this leaves Luke alone with the three children. Nothing he can’t handle it. He wakes the two girls up first, then wakes Zeek. Zahra complains about this. Luke reasons that if she’s going to take so much time in the bathroom, there’s no need to have all of them up. 

He fixes them breakfast and as he finishes Noor is the first one down, her dark brown hair clearly unbrushed. He slides her a brush that you keep downstairs for purposes like this. Noor did get the more manageable curl pattern, after Luke, but still, she needs to do something to it. Zeek surfaces next and then finally Zahra comes down the stairs. As they eat, Luke packs the lunches for Noor and Zeek. He slides Zahra some cash to put on her lunch account. “Dad, lunch is not that expensive,” she laughs, looking at the fifty dollar bill. 

Luke feels his cheeks heat for a second and then takes out a twenty from his wallet. “Just wanted to make sure,” he returns. 

She grins. “I know; I like giving you a hard time.”

Luke shakes his head. “Eat. The bus will be pulling up in twenty minutes.”

The next twenty minutes are a mad dash; Zeek gets syrup on his pants. He has to run up to his room to change. Luke double checks everyone has their backpacks. He has already fed the dog though they were more intrigued by the commotion. Luke is constantly pushing them aside or stepping around them. There are five minutes until the bus by the time the four of them climb out of the house. 

Carrying Noor in arm and her backpack on his shoulder, Luke runs behind Zahra and Zeek so they can catch the bus. The other parents watch as they race up the hill.  A few dads offer cheers. “I know how it feels, man!” one calls. 

“Had a morning like that myself!” another laughs. 

Luke nods with a chuckle. They make with a couple minutes to spare. It’s not like he couldn’t drive them, but they prefer taking the bus. It means that Zahra can chat with her friends. Zeek usually trades gaming advice or comics. Noor is pretty quiet but she likes being on the bus because most of the older kids compliment her. 

So, on normal days, you and Luke rush to get them ready on the bus. The three of them say it makes them feel normal, riding on the bus. You scheduled to have an early morning lecture, to accommodate the kid’s schedule. That makes you one to normally see them off to the bus. Luke never really sees how mad it can be to get up the last stretch of that hill though. 

Luke leaves from the studio early that week. He normally would be getting home right as dinner is finished. He wants to be there before the kids get back, but still get in a solid day of writing and recording. He’s thankful that Zahra stays back most days for her debate team meetings; it works well that Noor also stays back for tutoring for her science class or theater. Zeek catches the normal release bus but hangs out at a friend’s house. He always sends a text to the family group chat that he made it safely. They all know to be back home by 5. This way they can get in about an hour and a half of homework before dinner. 

Today feels no different in the morning. Noor’s the first one down for breakfast, hair still not brushed or combed. She huffs when Luke hands her the comb. Zeek comes next- he makes no mess this morning thankfully- and Zahra pulls up the rear. Zeek asks if he can have extra chips in his lunch. Luke agrees. 

He can’t say no to stuff like this. He’s the parent that if Noor breaks a vase, he takes the blame and the brunt of your loud questioning. He can’t help it. If Zahra forgets to take down the chicken, he’s the one that tells her to hide upstairs in her room, pretending to be asleep and when you walk into the house noticing a severe lack of chicken defrosting, says, that Zahra mentioned she felt sick earlier and he had her go up for a nap. 

You always know when he’s covering. He’s a terrible liar with an unsteady gaze. “Why do you cover for them all the time?” you asked once. 

“Because sometimes they need a cover. I know you mean well, but snapping for forgetting to defrost chicken or a replaceable vase isn’t helping them. You don’t want the same rough relationship with your children that you had with your mother.” And he’s right. You don’t want that. So when he covers, you sigh and nod– he’s doing it all from a place of love. 

Luke’s flipping through one of your recipe books when he hears the front door creak open. It’s about ten minutes from 5- they usually come in early, but not super early on their curfew. The door slams shut; there’s no stomping or shouting. Luke knows immediately something is wrong. He doesn’t move from his spot in the kitchen. “Hi, Daddy,” Noor says, rounding the corner. 

“Hey, baby girl. How was school?”

She shrugs, eying Zahra and Zeek. Zeek doesn’t seem too phased, but Zahra. Zahra’s dark brown eyes are fire. “Ra,” Luke tries gently. He goes with her nickname as a soft approach. “Sweetie, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to talk about it!” she snaps, storming up the steps. Luke sighs, watching his oldest daughter. What hurt her? He looks to Noor. She’ll probably know something. She’s sitting at the kitchen counter, chewing on her bottom lip. Her gaze is not focused. 

“Noor,” he tries leaning onto the counter across from her. 

She looks up to her father, the same light colored eyes looking at each other. “People teased Zahra on the bus today! And Zeek too.”

“Me?” Zeek questions looking up from the math textbook. 

Noor nods. “They kept saying that she wasn’t related to me; they called her names. They were saying Zeek and Zahra were ugly and not my brother and sister because they were darker than me.” Her eyes swim in tears. 

Luke doesn’t need to ask what names they used. He has a good idea. Luke takes her hands. “Why are kids so cruel?” he whispers. 

“They said that you weren’t Zahra and Zeek’s dad. Zahra-” Noor’s thought is interrupted by a hiccup.

Luke springs into action, jogging around the counter. “Hey, hey, hey now. We all know that’s not true.” Sitting on the couch, Luke soothes her. Her face is pressed into his chest. He rubs at her back. “Sssh,” he coos. 

“That’s so mean!” Zeek shouts. He doesn’t personally feel offended, but he’s upset that his two sisters are affected. “You two are so pretty and nice.” He walks over, offering his own comfort to Noor. 

Luke needs to talk to Zahra. Not now, not with her still worked up. The only thing he can do is give her some time. Right now he’s got to focus on Noor. One spill at a time he thinks to himself. Noor pulls back, face even puffier than usual. Her light tan cheeks pink from the crying. “I know it’s not true. But I wish I could’ve done something to help Zahra,” Noor pants. “I just stood there!” 

“Baby girl, sometimes we don’t always do what we wished we could. You were scared. It’s okay to freeze when you’re scared,” Luke reasons. It’s a couple more minutes before Noor regains her composure. Luke fixes her a quick snack and then takes Zeek upstairs. 

“I’m okay, Dad,” Zeek offers, sensing a talk coming on. 

“For Zahra,” Luke says, pausing outside her door. Zeek nods. Lu knocks. “Ra, please, let me in.”

“I said I didn’t want to talk about it!”

“You don’t have to talk– just listen.”

A sob cuts through the silence. “Please, Dad, leave me alone,” Zahra finally responds. 

Luke descends back downstairs, giving the oldest her wishes. He cooks dinner, not as good as yours, but it’s fine. Zeek goes to the closed door and knocks. “Dinner’s ready.” He leaves, not listening to see if she rustles. 

Luke finishes plating Noor’s food when Zahra slides into her spot. Her face is puffy, eyes swollen and red. Everyone turns to him, to watch his lead. “Extra cornbread?” Lu asks. It’s Harlowe’s recipe she gave you years ago. He figured today was a good day to break out the comfort food. 

She nods, muttering, “Please?”

“Of course, sweetie.” Dinner is tense. Silence is only cut by the scrape of forks against the ceramic plates. There’s small comments, a compliment on the cornbread. A polite ask for a refill on their drink. But the tension sits like fog, thick and heavy. Noor and Zeek finish fast and he excuses them. They take their plates to the kitchen. Luke and Zahra sit adjacent to each other. She runs her fork over the leftover peas. 

“They called me names,” Zahra starts. “That’s not even the worst thing. They do that all the time. It’s when they started attacking Zeek and Noor that I lost it. We are a family and I wish people stopped looking at me differently. I know I’m the darkest one, but like–”

Luke can see more tears forming. “I know.”

“Why don’t I look more like Noor? Why don’t I look like you? Why do I look so much like this?” she gestures to her arm- her skin color. 

Luke pulls her attention up from the plate. “Your mom will kill me for saying this. But here’s the truth; I wished you and Zeek looked more like me. It killed me that none of my children looked like me. Noor was only a baby and she highly resembled your mom at first. I knew the second you were born that you were my world and so beautiful. But the rest of the world wouldn’t be so nice. Baby, I can’t change your genetics. I can’t change the way you look. But wishing you were lighter isn’t going to make it better.”

Zahra sighs, thinking back to the time Noor cried over whether or not she was Muslim enough because she was so much lighter. “Life sucks.”

“I know it’s not easy. I know it won’t be easy for you. I am so sorry it’s not easy.”

“Did you ever think about this before having us?”

Luke shakes his head. “Sadly, I didn’t think it would this bad. Your mom and I had conversations; she told me that I wouldn’t see the true extent of how ugly this world could be until it affected my own children. And she was right.”

“When is she not?” Zahra scoffs. Luke wipes at the two tears that drop down her slender cheeks. Noor took her round face from you. Both Zahra and Zeek got more slender faces after Luke. 

“I love you. I will always love you. I know the world is cruel. But there is so much more love out there. Those kids at school are bullies. They don’t care about you–nothing they say about you should hold any value to you.”

“That’s so much easier to say, Dad. You’re white. Always have been, always will be. I will always be seen differently than you!”

“You’re right. I don’t know your pain. I can’t fathom it. But please don’t shut me out. Tell me what I can do to help.”

“Can you hand me more cornbread? Let’s start there.”

Luke slides the pan over to her. “Of course, Ra.”

As Zahra collects her next slice, she looks up to Luke. “Thanks for listening.”

He nods. “Anytime, sweetie.”

[nostalgiabones]

also??? luke is such a large man but he SCREAMS little spoon energy? like he would totally like drag himself into the living room after a long day writing with the guys and he just is like so emotionally spent and you look up from whatever book you’ve got to see his pouty, sleepy face and just get a little smile (smile bc despite how exhausted he looks he’s still your adorable boy) before marking your place and getting up to let his wrap his arms around your waist while you do the same (1/?)

‘long day, bub?’ you’d ask while playing with the ends of his curly mess of hair. ‘too much thinking about the tough stuff, can we just stay in tonight?’ he murmurs into your neck (it was date night that’s why he’s asking). in lieu of a response, you turn your face and kiss against the side of his head and start walking him in the direction of your room. you remove his arms around your waist and push at his tummy a bit to get him to sit on the bed. ‘change, i’ll be right back’ you tell him (2/?)

you head to the kitchen and make kinda sleepy tea for the both of you that you keep around for slow nights like this. back in your room you find him in just a pair of sweats already under the quilt your mum sent as a housewarming gift. his squinty, tired eyes look up from his phone and he smiles softly when he spots the mugs in your hands. ‘with honey?’ he asks as you place his mug on his bedside table. ‘honey for my honey’ you reply and place a kiss to his temple, feeling his smile (3/?)

after you climb into bed you both sip at your mugs, the steam burning a blush into your cheeks and noses, and you listen to him talk through the day and what the guys were working on. you giggle as he tells you about something dumb ash had done to try and cheer them all up earlier in the day and notice lu’s eyes starting to slip shut as he speaks. somehow knowing it was bed time, you feel petunia climb onto the end of the bed. you smile at both of your lovebugs as you take his mug from him (4/?)

‘time to sleep it off, sweet pea’ you tap at his shoulder and he follows your lead, pulling the blanket up against his chest. after setting your mug on the bedside table, you move to cuddle against your man, your chest warmed by his back. you feel him scoot back, trying to close off any inch of space that might be between you two. you chuckle lightly into his hair and wrap your arm around his waist and press another kiss to his blond locks (5/6)

think tumblr keeps eating the last part of what i’m trying send let’s try again :( you set your mug on the bedside table as luke tugs at your hand, pulling your chest against his warm back. ‘thanks for always taking such good care of me. love you baby’ he whispers as he squeezes the hand against his stomach and nuzzles into the pillow. ‘anything for you. love you too, lu bug’ you smile into his neck as you drift to sleep (6/6) we love a sleepy happy bday boy

this is literally making me want to cry my eyes out 🥺😭 luke is the SOFTEST boy in the world and this is everything I want and more 😭 I just want to take care of him and love on him and hold him after a long day 🥺😭 thank you SO so much for sending this in sweetheart!! I genuinely feel honoured that you sent it to me? This is the first time anyone has sent something like this and I really really appreciate it, I love it & it’s made me so happy 😭 you’re so talented! please please keep sending me more blurbs if you’d like to🥺 so much love ♥️

come talk to me about luke!!

[dearlytea]

This was a message I sent a few months ago to a friend when I just made my Tumblr account. The question she asked me was “Do you expect to get any followers on Tumblr? Or meet anyone there?”

Of course I didn’t believe her and thought I wouldn’t do shit here.... Yet here we are today celebrating my birthday/first milestone on this blog. Wow, never knew my 69th birthday would involve Tumblr... 

I’ve learned a lot during my time here, and it’s still scary to believe that I was one decision away from not meeting all the friends I adore now. Besides learning how to use this god garbage website I was also able to learn a lot more about myself from all of the mutuals I’ve met here. How? Cause I was able to connect with many people and be myself without feeling the need to cover up the parts of me that I thought were ugly.  Although, I know this is only the beginning of my time here, but it’s still a huge milestone for someone with low expectations to begin with. 

So in all thank you to all of my lovely mutuals/friends. Whether we talk on a daily basis or not I love each and every one of you, and I hope for the mutuals that I’m silent with that one day we can start chatting and get to know each other better (although you might have to be the one to message first cause my ass is still anxious as F U C C)

Anyways yeah... I love all of you dearly

KNEE SLAP

Edit: Apparently some people didn’t get the notification for the tag? Fuck you Tumblr So I had to go over the names again just to be sure... Sorry if you got another notification or something! zzzz

Legend

♔ = Special babies  →  (Look for your special little message)

❥ = My baby mutuals  → ilysm bls don’t think i don’t cause I actually do but I’m shit at showing my feelings sometimes and I’m bad at messaging. Don’t ever doubt that you bummies :((((((

☼ = Silent/New Mutuals  →  We don’t talk/interact that much but I still appreciate your existence and love you, thank you for being here. Maybe when I’m not a anxious HOE i’ll message you

Bold = Content Creator  →  YOU TALENTED LITTLE BEAN. GOD FUCKING GAVE YOU THE SKILLS OF A GODDESS/GOD AND YALL ARE BLESSED ASF

I love you all bls don’t think that I love you less because of where you are on this post asiojdoasijd that’s not my intentions and I don’t mean to hurt you :((((( 

(There is no solid order with how people are being added, I’m just going through my Following & Followers list)

♔

@champagnehoseok @koalajimin  @gukvenchy  @agustdabbing @knjddaeng @tinymintyoon @94hixtape​

❥

@gukyi  @guksheart  @introseesaw @kinktae​ @httpjeon @honeyyhobii @sapidsuga @cloutro @yeehawtaekook @minlucent @joonbuns @honeyyhobii @simplyjoon @equigay @seoksblackrose @kitsujoon @rohobi @namseokis @lovewyself @taewitched  @etherealmins

☼

@utopiajeon  @hobiwonka @starlightjoons @louvrescript @ggukhoneys @yourstrxxly @bymoonchild@blushoseoks@iliveforjungkookmemes @moonm0chi @jeonpetals​

@champagnehoseok: You little donk. I have a love/hate relationship with you, you wanna know why? caUSE ALL YOU DO IS ATTACK ME. I’m trying to live life here and you’ll send me a gif and then I’m (hot and) bothered. Though tbh without you I’ve wouldn’t of been able to leave my shell of shyness. You and your “DEARLLLYYYYYY” in group voice chats and scaring my ass to death smh. Despite being an extreme introvert I do enjoy talking/playing league with you (even though all we do is scream) So don’t take my short response as a “I’m annoyed with you” cause that’s not the case, I’m just an EXTREME INTROVERT. In all thanks for being the donk to my dink, never stop walking, always keep going alright? (this is the softest message you’ll get from me so LOVE IT)

@koalajimin: Morgan bby :((( You are my Libra sister and we relate to each other so much it’s quite unreal. Thanks for letting me scream and rant to you about stuff, it means a lot cause I know I’m a lot to deal with iojasoidjposa. I love how sweet you are :((( You’re the type of friend to go through a huge crowd of people just to make sure someone you care about is okay which is so admirable and I hope you know we don’t deserve your sweetness :((( It’s all too precious. If you ever need my “wise” advice or need someone to rant to just hmu okay? ilysm uwu (also BLS DRINK RESPONSIBLY)

@gukvenchy: Yara you sweet angel :((( Idk if I told you this before but that one night I randomly pour out my love to you on your old account was the first time I’ve went off anon to talk to you and I’m so glad I did cause it made me feel less anxious about sending asks and messages to you. Actually tbh you’ve helped me out a lot when it comes to gaining confidence in general. You probably never realize it but in little ways you do and I’m so glad we are mutuals because I would still be a shy shithead today :(( So thank you for being such a sweet pea and accept the fucking mess I am, ilysm you teasing Queen (I WILL NOT BIAS A BOY WHO POURS MILK INTO THE BOWL FIRST (I still love him but not enough to make him my bias)

@agustdabbing: Ahhh you probably didn’t expect a special message eh? Wrong. I love our late night convos about food, school and other things that I can’t remember cause they were so late at night aisjdijsad. You’ve found me in the rec blog side bar and it honestly shocked me that you wanted to follow or even message me. Like seriously??? I still don’t get why you want to asidjpais but in all I’m happy you got the courage to message me and grateful that you enjoy my random burst of convo starters. If you ever need anything hmu okay? Don’t be afraid to. I will always be here for late night convos about avocados, pastas, stupid things CUBE did and etc. Bless ya soul sweet child uwu

@knjddaeng: BABYYYYCHRSISSAIOJT My sweet tarot reading buddy. I love your curly hair adorable ass. Thanks for being honest, sweet, understanding and caring when I come to you for advice. You know how reserved I am, but despite that I always feel so safe when talking to you about my problems cause you understand why I think what I think and do what I do. In all I’m so grateful that you’re understanding of my messy brain and love me for me. Thanks for all the things you’ve done and I wish well for you :(( Know that if you are ever sad I will fucking send a spirit to comfort you asoidjaoid I WILL FIND A WAY DON’T YOU JOHNNY FUCKING TEST ME

@tinymintyoon: Ah Tiny, you sweet sweet child uwu I don’t know why but I just always have this like “You’re my little sister” vibe with you even though we aren’t that far in ages. You’re such a smart, beautiful and hard working girl and I have so much respect for that. You do things with consideration of others and it’s such a rare sight to see nowadays so please don’t ever forget that. I know at times you will feel down and have the itching feeling to slap yourself for not being good enough but trust me hunny, you’re doing great. Don’t beat yourself up too much okay? ilysm uwu please sleep appropriately so you don’t tire yourself out and hurt yourself :((( also THANK YOU FOR BETA READING SOME OF MY TRASH WORKS ASJDIKJ YOU ARE THE BEST AND I APPRECIATE THE EFFORT YOU PUT INTO THEM

@94hixtape​: Lu, you are such a sweetie and I know we recently started talking but I can’t just leave you out on this. When you messaged me for the first time saying you’ve been meaning to message for a while made me so soft like???? You wanted to message ME? And see if I WAS okay??? You are a sweet angel and it still makes me flop onto my bed all soft. Despite your shy character you still would do so much for your friends and :((( ugh that makes me soft. Please don’t be afraid to message me if you’re sad or in need to rant, your presence is god’s gift in this world and you should be happy : ‘)))) ILYSM 

I’m sorry that all of these messages are GROSS jsandoaijsdo

[mama-ghostie-61542]

A Thousand Lifetimes

Rated M++ for themes and language

If you recognize it--IT AIN'T MINE

Sorry for any OOC-ness.

Chapter 9

Kihyun

After the stunning revelations of the night before, I was having a slow day at work. It wasn't that I was off by much, but that I was exhausted, so I was a little slow on the uptake.

It was nearing three when we wrapped up recording for the day. Generally, we have more stuff to do, but today was an easy day. We were released to the dorm, and I went to go grab a nap. Sadly, though, all I could do was twist and turn. I decided to get up and read the next chapter.

Bryn PoV

It had been a few weeks since I talked to anyone. I had sent Kihyun's money back the very next day, slightly afraid it wouldn't make it. But seeing his face on my phone three hours later had me smiling.

"Hey! What's up," I asked.

He sighed. "Did you seriously send it back already?"

"Yep."

"Why," He asked. "Anyone else would have kept it."

"But I'm not anyone else. I hate asking for help. If I ask for anything, I never ask for money."

"Why," he asked.

"I make enough to be comfortable."

"Comfortable, huh? What's comfortable?"

"Pay the bills and have a little left over. Out of curiosity, why do you ask?"

"Just wondered. There is so much more I want to ask, but I-I'm not quite sure how to ask."

I laughed. "It's always been my experience, that it's better to just get it out there."

He swallowed, thickly, "Umm. Ok. Uh. What do you do?"

After taking a deep breath, I answered, "I own a yarn shop and I am a Natural Health Consultant."

"Wow," He whispered. "What does a Natural Health Consultant do?"

I chuckled. Most people wanted to know about the shop, not my degree. "I-um-I work with peoples primary care physician to get folks the best healing possible. It's generally in the cases of heart disease, diabetes, and stubborn skin rashes," I laughed.

"Now, that is cool," he smiled. "So, is it just a side hustle?"

"No," I laughed, "But most people don't see a Traditional Naturopath, they see an N.M.D. However, most integrated medicine places here have at least one natural health professional they work with, depending on the clients needs."

"Wow. You really are more than just a pretty face."

"Who told you I have a pretty face?"

"Joey let me see pics. You're beautiful, by the way."

I could not help the blush that slowly spread across my face. "Thank you. I think you are pretty handsome, yourself."

"Aww," he gushed, "No, I'm not."

"Agree to disagree, there, Sweet Pea."

"Joey," he asked.

"Joey," I agreed.

He chuckled, "Do you get the feeling he's trying to set us up?"

Laughing, I answered, "I do. But I think he may be right. You know he sees stuff, right?"

"Yeah, I know. I was the first person in our group he told. Oh God. Umm. I need to be honest. I'm not sure how to say it, so I will just lay my hand down here. I-uh-I-um-I have dreamed about you since I was a kid."

I could tell he was biting his lip.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Tell me something no one else would know.

"Ok," he started. "Um-You have nightmares where you are lost in the woods and screaming for someone."

"How did you," I started.

"I have them, too; but from the other side. I can hear you screaming but I can't seem to find you."

"Haka," I asked, softly, tentatively.

"Hey," He answered.

If I hadn't been sitting at my desk, I would have been on the floor. "Oh, God," I whispered. After a pause, I said, "I don't know whether to scream, cry, or throw up."

He laughed. "Well, hopefully none of those things. Please don't scream, hearing it in dreams is bad enough. Please, don't cry, because I'm not there to fix it. And Please, God, Please, don't throw up."

"Sympathetic puker?"

"Yes," He answered. "I want to see you."

"Not a good idea. Not with what is going on in the world, right now."

"True. A year from now? I hate to try to plan that far ahead, but maybe, just maybe, things will work out."

"Well, there is normally a convention in Hawaii in early summer."

"I will try to save as much PTO time as I can between now and then. Cross your fingers and hope."

"Fingers crossed," I said.

"I've got stuff to do, so I will talk more later, Ok?"

"Sure, I answered.

"I'm gonna say this, and please don't freak out, but I have felt it for a long time and," He rambled.

"Haka," I yelled, cutting him off. "I know. I already know," I said before I bit my lip. "I know how you feel, trust me, I do. I feel it, too. You aren't crazy, nor are you alone." I swear I could feel his smile and his relief. "But, my dear, I am nothing to write home about."

"Are you kidding me," He started, "I have been in love with you since I was 15. Woman, I could write volumes about you, and still have several lifetimes worth to say. You, Woman, You are amazing."

Blushing, I replied, "I don't see how."

Kihyun PoV

I could feel her blushing. "Then I will keep telling you until you have no doubts. You are amazing, you are awesome, and I," I stopped.

"I know," she whispered.

"Good," I replied.

I started to nod off so I set the story off to the side for the night, and got ready for bed. She curled up behind me and snuggled into the back of my neck.

'Night, Haka. Rest well, my King.'

'Night, Mami.'

I was so focused on sleep, I did not notice the slight tickle in my chest that happens with her sometimes. If I had, I would have felt the slight sorrow and could have held off the nightmare that night.

As it sat, she came and tucked me in as usual, but a few hours after I had fallen asleep in her arms, I had the worst nightmare.

I was, again, in those woods, and this time I was the Elk. She was there and that band around her ankle had her trapped. She was screaming as the band and rope that had her hobbled became razor wire cutting into her skin. I could not do a thing to help her.

But, my blind panic and pain must have ruffled the thread between us because in that moment, as I made my decision to lay down with her for support and comfort, I felt her spirit beside me, soothing me and telling me, 'It's just a dream, Love. I am here. Wake up, Haka, it's just a dream.'

In my state of half asleep and still with the residual images in my head, I rolled to where I felt her, and curled around her.

Her touch was both soothing and calming. 'Tell me what you saw?'

I shook my head as echo's of the images assaulted me again. I could still smell her blood in the air. I could still feel her fingers scramble for purchase on my pelt as she struggled to stand, could still hear the echo of her screams as the razors went deeper into her skin.

'I'm going after Joey. I'll be right back, my love. Hold on,' I heard her whisper in my hair.

In less that 20 seconds, a firm hand was on my arm. I had no more than sat up.

Honey POV

I was sound asleep when I felt a small but strong hand on my arm. 'Joey, Wake Up,' was all but shouted in my ear. I knew that voice. My sister. The fog stubbornly refused to lift.

'C'mon. Get up, Lu-Lu! Kik needs you,' was shouted as an outer presence shook my arm.

I was up and off like a rocket at that. She is the only person I will EVER allow to call me that version of 'Red'. And I know that her calling me that in the middle of the night means right now. I took off down the hall, following the sobs.

There was Kihyun, sitting on his bed, tears pouring down his face. I recognized the panicky look on his face as one I had seen on my own several times. I felt the presence of my soul sister, her spirit sweeping past me to settle next to him. He seemed to sag against her spirit, drawing strength and serenity from her. I couldn't hear the conversation, but I knew, somehow, she was soothing him.

It hit me then, just how perfect they are together. I could almost see his head resting against her shoulder as her arm was around him, petting him, in a fashion.

He suddenly shook his head and said, "No. I don't even want to think about it or what it means. Cause if it means that they are gonna hurt you before you get away..." he trailed off, as he shook his head. Then he near shouted, "No. It's a chance I won't take. I won't allow you to sacrifice yourself like that. Not for me, not again."

Then, I heard her again, 'Then tell him or I will.'

He sighed and whispered, "Alright, my love. I'll tell him." Looking at me, he said, "Best get everyone up, I only want to tell this story once. Seeing it once was enough."

Everyone got woken up and gathered in the living room as Kihyun settled into an easy chair with a pillow and a blanket.

From the far end of the couch, Min growled, "What happened, and why are we all awake?"

From his chair, Kihyun answered, "Another nightmare. She thinks I should share this one with you."

As they all sat back, Kik seemed to turn his head slightly and nod then whisper, "Love you, Ghost."

The unseen presence in the room swept off and left us.

I looked at him curiously.

"She went back to her place to handle some things there with the kids," he sighed and started, "Tonight, as I laid down to sleep, I cuddled with my Queen like I normally do. There is a thin silver thread that connects our souls, much like the red thread, but far older. I didn't notice the small flutter of her sorrow, and somehow, unconsciously, it became a nightmare.

"I have had nightmares before of her being trapped in the woods. This time, I was an elk. And while the normal vines were gone this time, there was this black band around her right ankle that attached to a rope and had her more or less hobbled to that bit of earth.

"As I came up on her, she was fighting to get it off. I leaned forwards to help her but the second I got within, I'd say a foot or so, it turned into razor wire and was cutting her foot off.

"I couldn't do anything to help her, and she could not get loose. The more she fought to loosen it, the tighter it got. Then, as she scrambled to hold on to me, I could smell her blood. She wrapped her hands in my pelt and was trying to stand, but the razors cut her deep. I could hear and feel her screaming. As I settled in next to her to offer what comfort I could, Her spirit woke me up. When it became obvious, I needed a bit more help, she woke up Honey. I have never been so afraid for her."

Min stood up and directed him back to bed, saying, "Go get a bit more sleep," as he left the room. When Min returned, he asked me, "What did you see about her?"

"Other than the way she sat? Not much. She is damned good at cloaking. So good she is damned near a chameleon."

"Do you think she would come back and let us see," asked HyunWoo, his brow knotted with worry.

I nodded, "She might."

Min sat down on the rug, between the coffee table and the entertainment center. "If we are going to help our soul sister, we had best get comfy, it may be harder than we think to fix it."

About that time, a presence entered the room.

'He's back to sleep. I figured you would want to talk to me.'

I nodded. 'Let Min see your ankle.'

I have never seen Min turn that exact shade of green before turning that shade of red. When he does, it generally means it is BAD.

'What the hell, Sis! Are you actively trying to make yourself lame,' Min shouted. 'There is a curse here. This is beyond my help. Stay here, I need to go get Ate,' Min said as he stood up.

Ten seconds later, He and HyungWon were walking into the room.

A second after that, Kihyun was scrambling back down the hall.

HyungWon was looking at Sis's ankle when Kiki opened his eyes enough to see what was going on.

'Baby, what's wrong?'

'Joey wanted Min to check out my ankle. Min went after Ate,' she said.

'This curse is very powerful. It will take all of us, together, to break it. Boys, get ahold of it. Kihyun, hang on to her,' he said before yelling for Changkyun.

When he rounded the corner at a run, HyungWon said, 'Mahipiya. Washte. IkiyA nitha Ate kichi Ina.'

Changkyun gathered the woman in his arms and nodded at her whisper, before growling at Kihyun.

"What?" asked HyunWoo.

"That is your nephew."

"Of course he is," HyunWoo grumbled as he sat up, only to be cuffed in the back of the head by HyungWon.

"We have bigger things than your sister's descendants to handle. Unfortunately, I fear this will be too much for us to handle,' He said as he sat back and grabbed his phone, sending out a quick text.

In less than 15 minutes, Hoseok was knocking on the door.

'Ahh. Glad you could make it on such short notice," HyungWon said as he opened the door.

A/N)--

Once again....I tried with the Lakota.

Mahipiya. Washte. IkiyA nitha Ate kichi Ina.--Cloud. Good. Help your father with your mother.

[peasgaming64]

Absolutely adoring @liccy 's halloween coloring pages and I had to start by doing a zombie Wild!

Be sure to check out both Liccys Halloween lineart pieces here and the original coloring of these pieces by Laris-Art here!

[malcolmteller-blog]

[HORROR] Sickness and Mom Issues

March 1

Okay, where to start? Hey. I’m Sean. This is my journal. When my mother called me and invited me back into her life (under the guise of helping her out as she’s battling the flu - I know, right?), I decided I should keep a journal about it. It’s… well, my Mom and I don’t have the best relationship. Left home at eighteen, right? Here we are now, nine years later. We’ll see how things go.

I’m keeping this journal to not just record how I help Mom recover, but to kind of chart how this all goes for me. I left home for very clear, specific reasons, and I stayed away for equally clear and specific reasons. Coming back here has unleashed a ton of emotions and thoughts inside of me, so I’m trying to not just keep everything organized, but to sort of discover myself through what I write here, if that makes sense. I want to understand the mess that’s been going on inside of me for the past nine years.

See, I’ve been struggling with the after-effects of the way Mom raised me. She was strict. Oh God, was she strict. She did provide, yeah. But, aside from that, she didn’t give a damn. Too busy with her own stuff. Too tied up in her own dreams, and the bitterness that she always felt from how they failed to materialize. I kind of wonder if me reminding her of my father is why she never got close to me, why she never showed me any real love.

I feel empty a lot of the time, not to mention unhappy. I can’t connect well with people. I’ve had relationships, but they always end after a while. My last girlfriend told me, “You just can’t seem to let anyone in. Not even me. I can’t live in that kind of relationship.” I’ve had long, long talks with my therapist about this, and we’ve narrowed it back down to Mom. He kept telling me I should go see her, and, as fate would have it, as I was really considering it, I got a call from Mom. Said she was sick, needed me to look after her. I figured, here’s my chance. I go, look after her, and maybe - hopefully - get some closure on what’s been going on.

I’m also gonna write this in a kind of weird way. This is very emotional and personal for me, and I want to keep a detailed record of everything so I can go back to it and use it to really get into myself. So I’m going to be very detailed, and maybe even literary, with my entries. Hope that’s alright by you.

Anyways, let’s get started.

I got into town a bit past noon. It was a sunny day, and everything was really bright. Driving past everything… well, it brought back memories. The old mall where me and my buddies use to hang out in when we were ditching class. The ravine where I got my ass kicked at fourteen for flirting with the school bully’s girlfriend. Oh God, Jack Lu’s house, where I vomited my guts out, drunk out of my mind, at my first house party at sixteen.

It felt so bittersweet. I had such good times here. I knew such great people. This really was home, and more than that, it never stopped being home.

But I couldn’t forget the pain that existed here those years too.

After taking my time cruising through the town, I drove up to Mom’s house. Honestly, the house still looked as it always did - paint that was chipped in various pieces and places across the house, and windows that no matter what you did with them looked as if they hadn’t been washed. Rust was visible from the metal frame of the screen door. Typical, I thought. The house looked dull and old - as if it was dying, if houses could die.

I got out of my car after I parked, got out and closed the car door. Then I stood there. I stood there for a good five minutes, trying to work out how to feel about all this. In a lot of ways, I hated my mother. Really hated. I wish I didn’t, believe me on that, but in various parts of me, deep down, I did. It was a kind of unconscious thing that had developed over time - both as I lived under her, and as I lived my life after I left home and moved to America-lite up north. That wasn’t it, though, not entirely. I loved her. Really, I did. If I hadn’t, I never would have come back. When she tracked down my phone number, called me and told me she was sick, out of nowhere, and didn’t know what to do, and that she had nobody… I couldn’t abandon her. I couldn’t. Not like that. She was still my mother.

Like I said before, a mess.

Finally, I mustered up my courage and I walked up to the front door. I gave three good, loud knocks. I waited, and soon I heard some shuffling noises, and then footsteps. Then the door opened, and there she was. Mom. So different, but at the same time, just as I remembered her. A thin, sharp face, with big, round dark green eyes, and short auburn hair tied back so it didn’t get too messy. She had more wrinkles than she did when I left, and her eyes looked more tired. Way more tired. I could also tell right away that she’d been sick. Her eyes were red and puffy, and she looked exhausted, like she’d spent a ton of sleepless nights tossing and turning, completely stuffed up.

After she opened the door, she squinted at me for a moment, trying to recognize who I was. After a few seconds, her eyes widened as it clicked inside of her head, and she smiled.

“Sean! You’re finally here!” Her voice was bright, excited. My heart lifted, and I really started to think things might finally get fixed between us.

She waved me towards the inside of the house. “Come on, get in! God, have you eaten? Here, I’ll get something.” As I stepped inside and closed the door behind myself, she rushed into the kitchen and, opening the fridge, began to rifle through it. Leftovers, of course. She was a big believer in leftovers - always had been. “Why waste perfectly good food? It’s stupid,” she’d always say.

Finally, a few minutes into me sitting at the kitchen table, she marched over with a steaming plate of meatloaf and peas. She set it down in front of me and then, folding her arms on the table in front of me, looked into my eyes, smiling at me slightly - though in a tired, weak fashion.

“So, how’ve you been? What have you been doing? Jesus, it’s been too long.” As she smiled, her face twisted and she quickly brought her hand up to cover her mouth, just before a harsh, hacking cough forced its way out of her throat.

I was concerned - I mean, why wouldn’t I be? My Mom was sick as a dog. I decided that I’d answer her question first, though.

“I’m a journalist! Mid-sized paper, up in Canada, on the West Coast.” I said, a wide smile beaming from my face. Her eyes went wide - in fascination, and… pride? I hope it was. It had been hard work to get where I was - a degree from one of the best universities on Canada’s West Coast, and a reputable and stable job at the paper.

“A journalist?” Mom whispered. She laughed, wheezing interspersing her chuckles. “I always knew you’d land on your feet. You had that drive in you. Just like me.”

I nodded, and then got down to business. Leaning in, I asked, “So, what do you need me to do for you here? I took enough time off that I can be here for around three months. That should be enough to get you well, right?”

She looked around, with this look of despair on her face, somewhat. “Well, you being able to go and get my groceries for me would be great. Just being here is a big help. It makes me feel safer when I know someone else is in the house with me, someone I trust.”

Getting the information I needed for that part of things, I decided to switch to another line of questioning. “What’d the doctor say? You mentioned it was just a bad case of the flu, right?”

She nodded. “Yeah. He said I just need lots of rest and fluids, and I’ll be fine.” I squinted slightly looking at her as she told me this. It was odd that the flu could debilitate her enough that she’d need me to look after her, at least judging from how she laid it out to me over the phone. The constant vomiting, the shivers, the fatigue and burning fever. Well, whatever, I was there, now.

We talked a lot for the next few hours. She told me about her life, how things had been since I was gone. She’d kept working at the post office, just as she had my whole life, until she had to take time off because she got sick. She gushed about her friend Betsy’s trip to an archaeological dig in Saudi Arabia, and how she’d sent back a rock that was taken direct from one of the subterranean caverns that had been excavated, a cavern dating back some ten millennia. One thing that stood out to me was that she said that when she received it, the rock still had some moss on it - fresh, as if it had never died. Odd, but, whatever, right?

So we kept talking. But all through it, she never brought up what it was like raising me. I did wanna bring up the things I’d wanted to bring up, about what it was like living with her when I was growing up. I didn’t, though. I could sense it wasn’t time.

For the rest of the night, we watched TV together in her bedroom. Eventually, she fell asleep, I tucked her in, then I pulled out the bed from the couch in the living room and here I am writing this.

I really think things will work out for the better between Mom and I. I mean, I don’t know how she’ll react when I bring up my own concerns, but I do think she’s willing to make a fresh start, so we’ll see what happens.

Anyways, that’s it for now. G’night.

March 3

So, second journal entry. Hopefully not as long as the first.

Mom was sluggish and fatigued, blowing her nose a lot, told me she ached here and there. Still, we got a lot done today. I went out and got her groceries for her. Took me about a few hours from leaving the house to getting back with everything. Had to find the damned place cause the store moved since I’d left nine years ago, but that went well. All in all, it was pretty routine.

Now, here’s where things get…I wanna say interesting, but frustrating. Laying on Mom’s bed with her in the evening, watching a rerun of one of her favorite crime shows (the one that started in the early nineties and ran for a couple decades - go on, guess), I decided now was as good a time as any to broach the subject of what I’d been dealing with on my own for so long.

“Mom?” I asked, looking over at her. She was nestled comfortably into the bed, above the covers but with a quilt covering her. She looked over at me, her eyebrows raised.

“Hm?” she asked.

I took a deep breath, then started. “Mom… we need to talk about some stuff.” I paused. “Basically, our relationship. How things were when I was growing up.”

“I don’t see that there was anything wrong between us when you were here,” she said quietly… sweetly. Like this kind of innocent tone someone adopts to make people feel sympathetic toward them. I felt a flash of anger at that, kind of irrationally, but I suppressed it.

“Mom, you were so cold and distant. It felt like I had to be my own parent. It felt…” I stopped myself as I felt my words to come out quicker, like a floodgate had been opened. Controlling myself, and looking into her eyes, I continued. “You never said you loved me. You never said one way or another that you were proud of me. In the entirety of you raising me, you never acted like you gave a damn.”

I was about to stay more, but Mom sighed angrily and rolled her eyes, looking back at the TV. “I did the best I could,” she muttered angrily.

Now I was angry. I snapped at her - loudly. “Look! I still haven’t had a healthy relationship with anyone! I have a hard time connecting with people! You need to recognize th-” I was cut off - by her screaming.

“If you want to come here and blame me for all of your problems, then just leave and I’ll take care of myself!” Her voice bellowed throughout the room. I just laid there, silent in shock. I’d never heard her scream at me before. She stared at me, her eyes wide with rage as she breathed heavily, her chest heaving up and down.

I could tell that we weren’t going to get anywhere, so I muttered something to her about how I was going to bed, and headed back to the living room. I’m upset. I am. I deserve better than this. I dunno how I’m going to fix this. I’ll figure it out somehow, I’m sure.

Something else. I think I’ve caught what she has. As I started writing this entry, I felt myself mildly stuffed up, in addition to the roof of my mouth being dry, no matter how much water I drink. Goddammit.

I took a Tylenol just now, and I’m gonna try to sleep this off. I can’t very well look after Mom if I’m down sick too, can I?

Signing off for now.

March 4

I didn’t even try to bring that whole other business up with Mom. I could tell it was pointless.

I don’t know how to feel. I’m trying to make things work, but it’s not getting anywhere. Further, I’m making her miserable, which is the opposite of what I’m supposed to be doing here.

But how do I feel about this? I’m not sure. I feel so, so fucking angry inside. I feel helpless, too. I think I’ll have to resign myself to the fact that whatever I’m looking for, I won’t find it here.

I’ll try to give it another shot, though.

But on more important and central issues, Mom isn’t doing well. She’s also acting strange. Keeps muttering random things, in between lengthy naps. I’ve set up an appointment with the doctor to get it checked out, because it’s not normal. As for me? I feel fatigued and completely stuffed up, and I’ve been blowing my nose a bunch. I’m not gonna bother going to the doctor - if it’s just the flu, it’ll pass. Besides, her health is what matters most.

Something stood out to me, though. Near the start of the day (before it blew up) she was talking about the rock her archaeologist friend brought her from the dig in Saudi Arabia. She mentioned the day she got it, and I did the numbers in my head - she got the rock about three days before she got sick. I’m probably being crazy, I know there’s nothing to it, but it just stood out to me.

That’s about it for now. Signing off.

March 5

Well…where to begin? Mom and I barely spoke today, so I decided I had to clear the air. It was the mid-afternoon. Mom was coughing and sneezing a bunch, and while I kept bringing her Tylenols and vapor rub and kleenex, she refused to speak to me. Finally, I stood in front of her and tried to fix things.

“I know you did the best you could. I do. I just…” My voice got weak - strained. “I just have a lot of issues, and I need to talk them out with you, y’know?”

She looked up at me defiant, her arms crossed. “I put a roof over your head, I put food on your table, and I was here.” Her voice cracked at this, and I could see that her eyes were shinier than they were before. “I was here, even when it was hard. Not like your deadbeat father.” My father, who’d run out on her when I was five.

I’ll need to think on this more.

Regardless, I don’t think I’m gonna find what I’m looking for here. I’ll have to work out my issues on my own.

Mom isn’t getting better. She’s getting worse. She’s starting to act more and more odd, too. She’ll stare into empty space for long stretches of time, her eyes wide and mouth dropped open as if she’s completely enthralled. Sometimes she’ll start muttering about stuff. I’m not sure what. Something about ‘the hive’. No clue what that means, but I’m not okay with it. I’ve scheduled an appointment with the doctor for tomorrow, in the late afternoon.

March 7

Really rough day today. Mom spent most of the morning vomiting, and I thought I saw a hint of blood in her vomit. I couldn’t tell, really, though. She was weak - real weak, she needed to hold onto me and be led around the house to get around because she couldn’t make it around herself. How the hell can the flu do all this?

We ended up getting to the doctor, and… my God, what an asshole. I tried to impress upon him what she was going through, what was happening to her. He wouldn’t hear it, though. Couldn’t get me out of the room fast enough.

Thus, we’re back at home.

Mom and I watched a lot of TV in her room today, as she was resting while periodically drinking large gulps of water from her water bottle on the nightstand. She told me that she ached all over. It breaks my goddamned heart. As I write this, I realize that caring for her like this is changing me. I never knew I’d feel this strongly and this warmly toward her.

I’m thinking on myself, and her role in what I’ve been going through. I’m gonna leave the past in the past. Look ahead to the future. I’ll try to, at least. I have a real chance with Mom. I don’t want to waste it.

I’m getting concerned for Mom. We’ll be watching TV, and she’ll just look at me and start rambling on about ‘the hive’. “It’s old, you know, the hive. It’s spread is inevitable. The hive.”

“What? Mom, you’re not making any sense,” I said through a stuffed up face. She looked at me in a daze, and then had a look of sudden realization.

“Oh. I don’t know,” she said, before looking back at the TV.

I don’t know what’s going on with her, but I have to find out. As for me, I’m feeling worse and worse, and I find myself thinking of the strangest things. I don’t even know how to describe them. I’ve been vomiting a lot, and I ache all over. I should go to the doctor.

March 14

Mom is bedridden. She’s about to die, I think. The gauze and bandages are wet and moldy now from when she tried to carve symbols into her arm and stomach a few days ago, and from when she tried to eat her flesh to alleviate the hunger. The hive will live.

I vomited some blood today. That was fine. For the past couple hours I’ve been focusing on the flies buzzing around the house. Some are from the garbage bags that haven’t been out for the past week, and some are from Mom. Flies flies flies. The flies carry the hive.

March 17

I don’t know if I can keep track of time anymore. Looking at people outside through the window, I get so hungry. So hungry. The hive is hungry, and so am I. To lower the tension, I cut my arm open and sucked the blood down. It helped.

Mom keeps moaning what they tell her to moan. It’s good, and I understand her. She’ll be gone soon. This much is certain.

March 19

Mom’s dead. I think she died a day or two ago, I’m not sure. I stared at her body for an hour today. The smell was sweet. Why do I think that? I wouldn’t think that before. So many things are different.

She looked ugly and bloated. Looking at her, I got hungry. Real hungry. I knew what I wanted, but I knew I couldn’t get it from her, so I went about getting it from somewhere else.

It didn’t hurt. I didn’t really expect it to. Lots of blood. The smell of it sizzling in the pan on the oven was sweet. It tasted so good, chewing on it and swallowing it down. I finished it all so quick and it was just what I needed. The breadbasket of the hive is the world. I wrapped my arm - the part that didn’t have skin on it anymore - up with gauze.

My head hurts, but not much. The hive likes me differently than her. That’s why I feel differently. At least that’s what I think in my head. Sometimes I don’t know where these thoughts come from.

I vomited blood into the toilet today. Looking at it, I saw something swimming beneath the surface of the water, obscured by the red fog of the blood. Multiple things. I giggled at it.

March 23

Consumption is imperative. Reproduction is imperative. After a long time, both are necessary. My stomach is grumbling and so is everything that I am. The hive is hungry, and so am I.

The symbols I cut into my chest are pretty. Very, very pretty. Old, too. The hive is telling me what they mean and I’m laughing.

I feel it. Buzz, buzz, buzz inside my mind, the hive goes.

March 24

I forced myself to go out because the hive wanted me to. It didn’t take long to find someone. College student, he looked like. Apply some force to the head, and he’s out cold. It was harder than I’d expected to get him back inside.

His heart was so good. The liver, too. The taste was so, so rich. I needed it so bad. But the hive was still hungry. It is still hungry. It will always be hungry, even when everything on earth is gone.

March 26

I can’t move much anymore. I hurt so, so much. The buzzing of the hive is inside my mind. It’s like a sound that I’m thinking of. Still so hungry.

Mom’s body burst open today. Flies flooding out of her corpse and out of the house. The flies carry the hive. Soon it’ll be in the air, in the water, and then nothing will stop it. The hive, the hive, the hive. Soon it’ll be nothing but.

My mouth is parched dry. I can’t move. The pain is all throughout my body, but the hive is there. The hive will always be there.

I’m tired. I’m going to let myself fall asleep now. I don’t know if I’ll wake up.

But it’s fine. It’s all fine.

I can’t stop laughing.

[peasgaming64]

Another month another Telephone Game entry! This time around the whole line was doing pride celebration pieces, so enjoy an Agender Pride Wild!

Didn't have much time to work this month (did my first ever cosplay and woops I still haven't posted the photos of it) but working on it was such a nice way to sit down and relax after all that work.

[peasgaming64]

Yeah I usually forget to post my stuff, but how did I not upload this??

Done back in March for the OLC Telephone Game, prompt was Ballad.

[peasgaming64]

And my other OLC Discord's Halloween Exchange gift, for Everfree / HopeWolfHeart [AO3] / I'm so sorry I cannot find your Tumblr and can't ping.

Everfree's gift came together much faster than Haru's just due to the fact that I knew they had discussed a Wings Of Fire/Dragon AU before and I already knew I couldn't draw a good dragon. I could however, take my weakness and make it a strength via Terrible Homemade Dragon Costume for the bois.

I'm gonna say having Wolfie be the tail was Wild's suggestion and Twi was very mad about it but Wind was already hyped and working it into his plan. Four just found the entire circumstance hilarious.

Seeing as I shared some WIP stuff for Haru's piece I might as well do the same here, I tried an entirely new shading method for myself doing this and it took forever but was really worth it in the end. I also find the progress shot of just the shading with no colors to look really cool so have this.

[peasgaming64]

So @autumnalchemist it became way more than a doodle..

Questions is an amazing short and sweet fic on Ao3 about Wind wanting to try on a gerudo vai outfit like Wild's and I adored it so much I just needed to draw Wind in one because he bloody deserves it.

[peasgaming64]

Realized I forgot to post this last week but hey, here's my piece for the OLC Discord's telephone game for July! And at a much higher quality than the version I sent on Discord!

The prompt I was given was Gorons, so I tackled something I wanted to for a while, which was Time's reaction to the BotW's Goron City statue. I am here for Majora's Mask angst I swear. think I also learnt a lot about both sketchy lineart and layer types.

[peasgaming64]

Just made myself a reference for drawing Hyrule cause I tend to pick wildly different colors every time I draw him. Also fairy Hyrule is fun to draw and I desire more Hyrule with Giant Fucking Bags.