#Professional hacker for hire

[vernon6767]

Hire Professional Social Media Hackers

There are many reasons why a business might choose to hire a hacker for social media. Perhaps the company wants to increase its following on social media platforms, or maybe it needs help getting more engagement on its posts. In any case, hiring a hacker for social media can be a great way to boost your online presence.

When hiring a hacker for social media, it’s important to make sure. that you select someone experienced and knowledgeable in this field.

Some companies hire hackers to attack their competitor’s social media accounts to gain an advantage. They may do this by using complex academic jargon that their competitors may not understand. making it difficult for them to respond. Additionally, the hacker may post fake news or reviews that could damage the competitor’s reputation.

Are you interested in hiring a hacker for any kind of secure professional hacking service? Then you are in the correct place. We provide you with the best hacking services at affordable prices as per the client’s requirements.

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Our company has a team of professional and experienced professionals that can help you hack any web-based media account. We have a demonstrated history of achievement. And we pride ourselves in having the ability to assist you with come by the outcomes you want. We comprehend that your privacy is a top priority and will never impart your personal data to any other person.

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We are the certified group of talented hackers committed to easing your mind and enhancing your computer’s security. Along these lines, on the off chance that you’re trying to utilize a moral cyber artists, we can help you with your concern. When looking for, check out What I Need to hire an ethical Hacker.

We’re distinct in our approach to deal with administration contrasted with different companies

Our company has a team of professional and experienced experts that can help you hack any social media account. We have a proven track record of accomplishment. And we value ourselves in having the ability to help you get the results you need. We understand that your privacy is the main concern and will never share your personal information with anyone else.

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The easiest way to get in contact with us is by email. The address is And we typically answer emails within a few hours, yet we generally attempt to answer as could really be expected. Our client assistance delegates are accessible 24 hours a day to address your inquiries.

[hastyhacker]

How Hastyhacker is Revolutionizing Digital Solutions for Personal and Financial Woes

In today’s fast-paced digital world, it’s not uncommon for individuals to face challenges that require expert intervention — especially when it comes to data, privacy, and personal records. Whether you're dealing with bad credit, an online security breach, or a past mistake still haunting your record, turning to Professional hackers for hire can be the smartest move — when done legally and discreetly. That’s where Hastyhacker comes into the picture.

Hastyhacker is a trusted name when it comes to digital problem-solving. They offer cutting-edge services that cater to individuals in need of swift, confidential, and result-driven solutions. Their team of ethical and Professional hackers for hire is known for their discretion, efficiency, and success in handling sensitive cases. From recovering lost accounts to improving your digital security posture, Hastyhacker has earned a reputation for excellence.

One of the most requested services at Hastyhacker is their Credit score fixing service. Your credit score can determine everything from your ability to get a loan to securing a rental property. For many people, a low score is the result of past financial hardships, reporting errors, or identity theft. Hastyhacker’s experts have the tools and insights to identify inaccuracies and make necessary adjustments, helping clients rebuild their financial reputation. Their Credit score fixing service not only corrects outdated or false data but also strengthens your score legally and efficiently.

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Another reason people turn to Professional hackers for hire like Hastyhacker is for assistance with compromised accounts, cyberbullying, or online impersonation. Hastyhacker ensures that your data stays safe and your digital identity remains protected. Their proactive approach makes them a go-to solution for anyone facing digital threats or needing personal data recovery.

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In a world where your digital past can affect your future, it’s reassuring to know there’s a company like Hastyhacker ready to help. Reach out to them today — and take the first step toward reclaiming your digital life.

[hireanhacker]

Connect with us and hire professional cyber experts with full customer support around the world.

[omegalordhack7]

hire a professional hacker

Seeking to hire a professional hacker? Omegalord.com provides expert hacking services for various needs. Trust our skilled team for discreet and secure solutions. Contact us today to safeguard your digital assets.

[vernon6767]

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One can hire hacker to hack twitter through a number of online services. By using complex academic jargon, one can write about the many benefits of hiring a hacker for twitter. Hiring a hacker for twitter can help protect one’s account from being compromised. If you hire professional twitter hacker it can also help one gain access to exclusive information. And insights that are not available to the general public.

We provide a service that allows you to hire a hacker for twitter. By using our service, you can access the latest in hacking technology and techniques. in order to help you get the most out of your twitter account. We provide a variety of services, including password cracking, account takeover, and more. Our teams of experts are available 24/7 to help you get the most out of your twitter account.

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There are many reasons why hiring a Twitter hacker from us would be the best decision. First of all, our team is experienced and qualified in the field of social media hacking. We have the ability to provide our clients with the highest quality service possible. In addition, we are always up-to-date on the latest Twitter security vulnerabilities and how to exploit them. Our team is also available 24/7 to help you with any problems or questions you may have.

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Our Twitter hacker is a highly skilled and experienced professional who can help you with all your Twitter hacking needs. He has years of experience in the field and is known for his expertise in this area. So he can help you hack into any Twitter account and access its data, and he can also help you protect your own account from being hacked. He is a reliable and trustworthy hacker who will always put your needs first. And he is always available to help you with whatever you need.

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Our team of hackers has years of experience and a proven track record of success. We are well-known for our expertise in the area of Twitter hacking, and for hire a Twitter hacker we are the best team for the job. So we are dedicated to providing our clients with the highest quality service possible. And we always put the client’s needs first. We are also experts in other areas of hacking, such as email hacking, website hacking, and more.

Contact With Us At:

The easiest way to reach us is by email. With our email address . we attempt to reply to all emails within a few hours. But we strive to respond to all messages as soon as possible. Our customer service agents are at your disposal 24 hours a day.

[nottslove]

ON CAMERA

Pairing: hacker!theo x spy!reader 1.1k words Summary: theo nott, professional, wanted hacker, has been keeping a close eye on you, the spy hired to track him down. little do you know, the more you search, the harder the search grows— mainly because theo knows you're looking for him. after following a lead blindly, you somehow land in danger and theo, who has been watching you, calls the cops to pull you out of your risky situation. as a thank you, he expects a little show...

Warnings: 18+, smut under the cut, voyeurism, somewhat stalking, exploitation, semi-public, dirty talk, cursing, not for minors.

WATCHING you had become an obsession. That was almost all he did, day and night.

Every room, every corner of your house was monitored. At first, he tried to convince himself he was doing it because it was his job. But when he began to skip sleeping to watch you sleep, he realized it ran much deeper than just that.

You, of course, were clueless about the whole ordeal. You performed your routine as you normally did, without ever suspecting that you were being hacked, watched.

You woke up early, trained in your private training room, practiced firing shots, worked out in your personal indoor gym, went for a swim, then ate and used your computer to follow up on your latest mission.

You were supposed to find one of the most wanted hackers in the country, whose identity was a complete secret, and you were positive you had a name, and perhaps a location.

Theo was watching, a smirk plastered across his lips as you searched for him. But he was too good.

His identity had remained a secret for a long time, and would continue to remain so until he decided otherwise.

"Oh, pretty girl, you'll never find me," he crooned, a soft chuckle spilling past his lips as every link you clicked took you to a dead end.

Frustrated beyond measure, you finally decided to search a dating website for something, anything.

And then, you found someone whose profile matched the one you were looking for.

"Bingo—" you whispered victoriously, staring at the profile of a young man in his early twenties.

"Hate to break it to you, Princess, but that's not me," Theo murmured to himself, lighting a cigarette as he watched you through one of the little screens around him, zooming in on your low-cut top. "Cute top though... Nice rack you got over there..."

Your laptop screen was duplicated across his as you created your own profile for an online dating site, after you came across your suspect on the website.

He was there, reading all those messages you sent, all the flirting between you and your suspect, his blood boiling with every picture you kept attaching to keep this man interested.

And then, you agreed to meet this suspect of yours. You hadn't bothered with a wire, you were confident you could handle him on your own— with two knives strapped to one thigh and a gun strapped to the other underneath your satin minidress.

Little did you know, Theo had already bugged your phone, already gotten your every movement displayed all over his screen.

He tracked you entering the restaurant, he tracked you waiting there for hours... then, he noticed you taking the shortcut back home, walking through the park... but when he noticed you moving towards an abandoned alley on the map across his display, he instantly called the cops and gave them your exact location.

Turns out, you were wrong. Your suspect was just another suspect, and the real guy you were hunting was still out there.

This guy just turned out to be some nasty creep who faked his profile to prey on young women.

You didn't know how the cops knew your exact location, or how they found out, but whatever it was, you were grateful because the cops had arrived before the creep could hurt a single hair on your head.

And when you reached home, you entered the shower first thing, trying to relax a little, before you fell asleep, unaware that Theo had zoomed into your bedroom, so that it now covered his entire screen.

"I deserve a thank you for that, don't I, pretty?" he remarked, even though he was well aware you couldn't hear him at all, zooming in on your figure, who had just come out of the shower and was now wrapped in a tiny towel that barely covered you. "After all, I did save that pretty little ass of yours back there... Gonna give me a little show?"

As if you had heard his words, you picked out a pair of satin shorts and a matching camisole, placing it on the bed as you pranced around your room in your tiny towel.

You were unaware of his watchful gaze, observing you, unaware he was so fucking hard underneath his joggers, his ringed fingers resting on his waistband as he watched you with bated breath, his eyes dark, jealous of every tiny, water droplet that clung to your sacred skin.

After you dried your hair, you took off your towel and let it slide to the floor while you got changed.

Unfortunately for Theo, your back was towards the camera. A groan slipped past his lips when he realized he wouldn't be able to see those pretty tits of yours.

Fortunately for him, he would have a nice picture of your ass.

And when he zoomed in to your plump rear, he nearly came in his pants.

He could feel his precum stain his new boxers, a loud groan leaving his lips as he slid his joggers down, taking out his cock and fisting it, spreading the precum down the length.

He gives it a few pumps, just imagining what it would be like to bend you over the bed and fuck you from behind, pull your hair back into a ponytail and manhandle you the way he wants, because he knows you can take it.

He closes his eyes, groans spilling past his lips as he begins jerking his cock in his hand, his eyes opening when he hears a small grunt of frustration from his screen— your pajama top fell when you were about to put it on.

As you bend over, you give Theo the most beautiful view of your ass, his eyes glued to the screen as he jerks off.

"Fuck—" he hisses, pumping his hand up and down his shaft, quickening his pace as he approaches his climax. "Such a cute fuckin' ass..."

Right before you slide your shorts on, he takes a screenshot, then closes his eyes, grunts of pleasure leaving him.

His cock throbs and pulses in his hand, his rings adding a delicious friction as he slides his hand faster, not even bothering to conceal his moans.

He gasps your name as he finally climaxes, his eyes rolling to the back of his head, his lower abs clenching with the surge of pleasure that flooded through him, the thick, sticky liquid now sliding down his screen, across the screenshot of your pretty, little ass.

Not even bothering to clean his mess up, his eyes flicker over to his other screen, where you're scrolling through your phone, tucked under the sheets of your bed, completely oblivious to it all.

His head slams against his table.

"Fuck— I'm screwed..."

not proofread, wrote this in such a hurry. lmk if i missed anything.

tags: @the-sylver-dragon, @clairesblouse

profile; nav;

©nottslove 2025. do not copy, steal or claim any works/graphics as your own.

[witchygagirlwrites]

Greg "Mouse" Gerwitz x Reader

The day Mouse met you his life turned around for the better

Laughter, that was not something Mouse had expected to hear when he walked into the twenty first district with Jay. Yet the sound hit his ears, the laughter wasn’t what he’d call melodic but it was genuine and that was so much better than a fake, practiced laugh. He saw a woman come sliding around the desk, the sergeant behind it shaking her head when she ran smack into Jay “Halstead! I’m gonna kill Ruzek!”

Jay gripped the woman’s arms to steady her and turned her to face him “This is one of the detectives in the unit. She’s normally a lot more professional than this and not threatening to kill anyone or well another cop, well another member of the unit?” She spun to face him, a grin slipping onto her face “You must be Jay’s friend, Greg Gerwitz right?” he nodded, a little stunned by this hurricane of a woman. She was absolutely gorgeous.  “Um you can call me Mouse, everyone else does” she nodded “I’ll decided which I wanna call you once I get to know you���

Jay laughed, “What did Ruzek do?” her eyes widened and she looked between them “That asshole broke my coffee mug!” Then she took off up the stairs, stopping just long enough to hit the palm scanner and held the gate open for them. Mouse watched her go and a smile slipped onto his face “She’s something else” Jay shook his head “Man I wouldn’t, she’ll eat you alive” 

Mouse cut his eyes at Jay, a grin slipping onto his face “If that woman is the death of me, consider me a lucky man” Jay just shook his head and threw his arm over his shoulders “Let's talk Voight into hiring you first”

“Sir can you just check your phone please?” Mouse was trying to convince Voight he could handle this job despite how bad he looked on paper. He needed it, he needed direction. “Check my phone?” Voight asked and he nodded “Yes sir”

Voight pulled his phone out and laughed when he saw that he’d changed his wallpaper to a photo of himself “Cute” he noticed you glancing over Voight’s shoulder as he explained  “I did that in a few seconds, imagine what a hacker could do in a day” 

Voight shrugged “Fine by me but Platt has to sign off on it too” then walked off. The moment Voight was back in his office you held your phone out “Where’s mine?” and he felt a blush heat up his face. Ok maybe Jay was right but damn the way you made him feel and he’d just met you. He shook his head with a small smile “I’ll send you one later sweetheart” and you grinned “Ooh sweetheart? I like it”

He never would’ve imagined he would’ve fallen for one of the detectives in the intelligence unit but little by little he found himself falling for that hurricane he met on day one. You would always give him a smile and be willing to listen on bad days that would even annoy Jay, you never got angry with him for his thoughts being scattered. He’d pulled himself back from addiction but hadn’t been able to breathe life back into himself. He’d been wandering from place to place. The longer he knew you the easier it got to breathe, the slower his thoughts got, the easier sleep came. You weren’t a miracle but you helped him to see that he was worth a future, he was worth good happening to him.

The day he asked you out he was so nervous he’d broken two pencils waiting on the clock to hit time for all of you to get off. He watched you sitting on the edge of Kim’s desk, laughing at something Kevin had said. Your hair was in a braid your sister had put it in and your knuckles were still bruised from getting in a fight with a perp two days before. He’d never seen a more beautiful sight. 

It was like you felt his eyes because you glanced up and smiled at him. He felt his heart flip. He was fairly certain he was already half in love with you. 

When the clock finally hit everyone started gathering their stuff but you walked over to his desk. “Greg” you’d decided about a month in that you were gonna call him by his actual name because “I’m not everyone so I’m not calling you what everyone does”

He smiled and stood up when you got to him “Hey sweetheart” you scratched behind your ear “Um, did you want to talk to me about something? You’ve kinda been staring at me” he felt a blush warm his cheek, he hadn’t meant to be so obvious. “Yeah, is there any way you might want to go out with me?” he waited for the rejection, for you to let him down easy but instead you smiled brightly and kissed his cheek “Thank god because I was tempted to just ask you out!”

Voight made you two fill out a stack of H.R. forms when he found out you were dating, Jay teased Mouse relentlessly that he’d fallen in love the moment you came sliding in threatening to kill Ruzek and then of course your sister had threatened to kill Mouse if he ever hurt you. He took it all in stride because his eyes remained on you. 

The first time you called him your boyfriend at work was when you had to pass him your gun when you and Kevin were taking a perp into an interrogation room. The guy had said “What, your secretary can handle your piece?” you’d “accidently” shoved the guy into a wall and informed him “My boyfriend served two tours in the rangers asshole, fairly certain he can handle my piece long enough for me to get the truth out of your ass” 

He’d felt his heart skip at your words and the pride in your voice. No one had ever been proud to claim him. Someone like you claiming him? That meant everything. When you got back out of interrogation, Adam and Kevin escorted the perp down to holding and you came to get your gun back but noticed the small smile on his face “What are you smiling about?” he shook his head “You claimed me” you grinned and said “You’re mine Gerwitz. Be prepared to get claimed a lot” 

The day you told him you loved him the first time you and Kim had gotten caught up in the middle of a shoot out. It was a close call, a very close call. When you two got out she ran straight for Adam and you ran straight for him.

You hadn’t cared that the entire unit and multiple patrol cars were right there, you pulled him into a kiss and told him “I love you Greg, fuck I love you so damn much” he hadn’t been able to think straight the entire time he had to listen to that damn firefight and not do anything so having you in his arms finally started his brain back. He held you tight, despite your gear pressing into his chest “I love you too sweetheart, so much”

So many years, so many trials, so many tests and tears yet here you were. Mouse looked over to see you and your daughters dancing in the living room. That same laughter he fell in love with now tripled. He’d fallen in love with you so many times over the years. His hurricane. You cut your eyes up at him and smiled, “Come on sir, get in here with me and the girls”

He shook his head and took your hand, the girls giggling as he twirled you around. “I love you Mrs Gerwitz” he told you and you grinned “I love you even more Mr Gerwitz”

[omegalordhack7]

Title: professional hackers near me

Seeking professional hackers near you? Omegalord.com offers discreet and reliable services tailored to your needs. Trust our expert team to address your cybersecurity concerns effectively. Contact us today for secure assistance.

[system-architect]

labtechnist rozz, multi-talented all-in-one forensic scientist, hacker, synergetics and dynamics dual graduate, professional trespasser, and host of the 'cubecast' and publication tyrian enigma, which features rozz's own in-depth research and exposition on everything unsolved & mysterious in tyria-- cryptids, government conspiracies, extra-dimensional beings, unexplained phenomena, cold cases, you name it.

despite his strange interests, he's exceptionally good at everything he does, although of course not so good that he's ever managed to hack into the arcane eye's internal databases and got chased down by them and threatened to choose between being hired by them "or else" and so now he's working as a multidisciplinary forensic lab tech for the eye. ahaha. that'd be crazy if it were true.

bonuses under the cut! yay!

i cant stop drawing him on scrap paper at work 🧍

you get bonus trivia since you made it this far:

he loves horror movies, science fiction novels, and tabletop games

he is plex's ex-boyfriend. their individual psyches poked at each other's various issues and they had a sort of explosive breakup

he lives in the same carrier (trailer) park as kai. kai doesn't know him personally but knows him as Antennas Guy bc rozz's carrier is decked out like something out of the milkman conspiracy psychonauts level. conversely, rozz knows kai as Jogger Guy

his not-a-podcast is actually fairly popular. he relishes his niche internet micro celebrity status. he wants to write a book

he got started down this path at a young age bc his father was super into mystery/action novels and radio(??) dramas and transferred the love to him. later on he experienced + survived a sort of mists rift anomaly event that his brain has interpreted as an alien encounter and it has driven him batshit that no one else believes what he saw

he's something like pansexual demiromantic and his gender is somewhere between 'loosest possible sense of cis' and 'whatever'. he accepts whatever pronouns your brain chooses to assign him and feels he has bigger fish to fry. (like the loch jext monster.)

[vodika-vibes]

congrats on 650 followers!!! i would like to please request a romantic fairytale AU with wolffe (i know not requesting wrecker is such a surprise from me lol)? i was thinking of a sleeping beauty type fairytale specifically. no rush for this and again congrats on 650 followers!!!✨✨

Trapped

Summary: The old palace has been surrounded by, apparently magic, thorns for as long as you can remember. No one has been in the palace in your lifetime. In fact, no one you know remembers the last time the palace was open. You plan to open the palace, and nothing will stop you.

Pairing: Pre Commander Wolffe x F! Reader

Word Count: 2885

Prompt: Sleeping Beauty AU

Warnings: Swearing

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly @kimiheartblade @mire-draws-things

A/N: So, this isn't quite as romantic as, maybe, you were hoping. But I hope you still like it! Sleeping Beauty has a very specific storyline that never quite felt romantic to me, lol.

“It’s not going to work,”

“Not with that attitude it isn’t,” You counter as you open the military case and scan the bottles inside.

Good, they’re all there. 

Seven bottles of bottled fire. More commonly known as White Phosphorus. 

“You run the risk of burning the whole palace down,” Eri says sharply, even as he hands you your harness and pouch belt.

You roll your eyes, close the case with a snap, and take the items he’s handing you, “We’ve been over this. I’ll need two bottles to make an opening in the vines big enough to slide through. And then I’ll need another two to get out. The remaining three are just in case I run into vines inside the palace.”

“Yeah, but—”

You straighten and round on your best friend, “We’ve done the experiments. We know that the vines will grow back faster than all of them can burn. That’s why we’re using bottled fire.”

He sighs and pushes his hand through his hair, “Walk me through it again? Why are we doing this?”

“Uh, because we have no money and no one will hire us and we’re about to starve.” You shoot back as you strap the belt around your waist and then grab the harness and pull it on. 

The only way to get to the palace, and through the vines that coat the walls, is to use a zipline from a nearby building. The harness is for your safety and will be left behind at the zipline once you’re over the wall.

“And who’s fault is that?”

“Yours. You’re the well-known con-artist.”

Eri leans back, “Oh. Yeah.” He pauses and then sighs, “What if there’s nothing in the palace to take?” He asks. “I mean, it’s been hundreds of years.”

“Then we starve. It’s really not that hard.” Once you have the harness on, Eri helps you strap the case to your lower back, and he checks to make sure that everything is secure on your body.

“This is risky,” He murmurs, “No one knows what caused the vines in the first place, and we won’t be able to contact each other once you’re on the other side of the wall.”

You sigh and turn to Eri, “Look. This is what we were hired to do. Our client is going to pay us a couple of million credits if we get them anything from inside the palace. That’s enough for us to move away, start a new life somewhere.”

Eri sighs once more, “I know, I know.” He takes a step back and holds an empty canvas bag out to you, “Just…be careful. There aren’t many of us left.”

You make a face. He’s not wrong.

Once upon a time, you and Eri were members of a 20-person crew. Men and women who walked on the other side of the law. Thieves, hackers, safe-crackers, forgers, hitmen, assassins—your crew had all of them. The best of the best, professionals who all worked under the same man, your boss.

However, after the government shifted, becoming more militant and less democratic, it became harder for the crew to survive in this country.

Of the 20-person crew…only you and Eri are still alive.

You, a master thief, and Eri, one of the planet’s greatest con-men.

If you get caught breaking into the palace, it’s an automatic death sentence. For you and Eri. Which, really, explains his anxiety.

But at this point, it’s a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation. If you don’t do this one job, you and Eri will be kicked out of your home and starve to death. If you do this and get caught, you and Eri will be killed by firing squad. 

Your only chance is to do this and hope, against all hope, that no one catches you.

No pressure, right?

You roll your shoulders and shove all of your anxiety into the small box where you shove all of your negative thoughts, and then clap your hands. “Alright. I think I’m about as ready as I’m going to get.”

“Then let’s get to work,” Eri replies with a small grin, excitement washing away his anxiety. 

The building the pair of you are in has been condemned due to water damage. No one lives or works here anymore, as the building isn’t safe.

It’s also the only building that will allow you to get over the walls without running into any of the vines.

Quickly, you follow Eri up the stairs and onto the roof. He leads you over to the zipline that’s connected to an open spot on the palace walls.

You pull your gloves on, grab the hand trolley, and jump up to attach it to the wire. Eri grabs your hips to keep you from going before you’re ready.

“See you on the other side,” He says with a nervous grin.

“Goddess willing,” You agree, “Give me a push.” You feel him tighten his grip, and then he starts running. Eri releases you as soon as he reaches the edge of the roof, and you pull your knees up to go faster.

You have to pull yourself up a little higher as you pass over the wall, and then you drop to the ground next to the palace. You appear to be in the garden…or what was once a garden, perhaps.

It looks like there are spots where flowerbeds once laid, though time, weather, and magic have turned what was, most likely, a beautiful garden, into a desolate waste.

Pity. Flowers would get you a good price on the black market these days.

You strip the harness off and toss it on the ground next to the hand trolley, then you pull the case off your back and slide the seven small vials into one of the pouches on your belt.

Then you pull a map out of another pocket and you scan it thoughtfully. 

If this is the garden, the entrance to the old wine cellar is—

You turn your attention away from the map, looking to the left, and then to the right.

Ah, there it is!

You fold the map and slip it back into your pocket, and then you jog over to where you know the old wine cellar door is located.

As you thought, it’s covered in thick vines.

Ugh, they’re slimy. Gross.

You pull two vials out of a pouch, make sure your goggles are secure over your eyes, and then throw the vials at the vines.

There’s the sound of glass breaking and the familiar woosh of a fire igniting, and you squint at the flames.

They’re spreading slowly. Far too slowly, but slowly an opening appears in the vines, revealing the rotten wine cellar door.

Quickly, before the vines can grow back, and before the fire goes out, you kick the rotten door in and allow yourself to fall into the dark cellar. As soon as you’re down the stairs, the light from the outside fades completely as the vines grow over the opening.

“Right…magic evil vines.” You pull a flashlight out of your pocket and turn it on.

Now that you’re inside, you’re flying blind. There aren’t any maps of the inside of the palace. Done, presumably, to protect the royal family who lived here.

However, logic dictates that anything of value will be located somewhere else. Perhaps in the living quarters?

The wine cellar is filled with wine. You wouldn’t call yourself a wine connoisseur, however, you wouldn’t bet that this wine is worth anything. Even the oldest bottles wouldn’t earn you a single credit.

That’s the thing about magic, it ruins everything.

You sweep the light from the flashlight around the room, and your eyebrows creep up in surprise. It looks like the vines are only on the outside of the palace, as there aren’t any inside.

“Curious.” You say to the empty room, and then you start walking. 

You go up the stairs and find yourself in a hallway that had probably been grand at one point in time. Old tapestries are ripped and moth-eaten, and family portraits look to be crumbling into dust.

Although, one of the pictures looks to be in good shape so you walk over to it and shine your light on the image. And then you tilt your head.

“Huh. That must be the king and his sons.” You murmur, “Weird…the king almost looks like Mister Fett.” In fact, the only real difference is that Mister Fett, your employer, keeps his hair short.

“Trippy.” You say to the painting, and then you move on. You need to find something a little more solid to bring back to Mister Fett. Jewelry, maybe, or perhaps silverware?

You open a door…well, you touch a door and it nearly falls on you, and find a staircase.

“Ooh. Where does this go?” You really need to stop talking to yourself.

You go up the stairs, as high as you can, and find yourself in a pitch-black hallway. Everything inside you is screaming to go back downstairs, that there’s something wrong and evil here, but common sense has never been your superpower, so you steel yourself and step into the dark hallway.

Even with your flashlight on the highest setting, it barely cuts through the dark of the hallway, and you find yourself throwing open the first door you come to, just to get out of the oppressive hallway.

And then you have to clamp your hand over your mouth to muffle your scream. As you fall to the ground in surprise.

There’s a person. A man. He’s stretched out on the bed, still as a corpse.

It’s been hundreds of years. He should be bones…if even that much.

Slowly, you crawl across the half-rotten carpet until you reach the bedside. Now that you’re closer, you can tell that he’s one of the boys from the portrait downstairs. And, now that you're closer, you can see that he’s breathing. 

“Holy shit.” You whisper as you scramble to your feet and place your hands on his chest. You shake him roughly, “Hey! Hey! You need to wake up!”

The man exhales and then stops. 

Panic washes through you, and you scramble to kneel on the bed next to him. You’re not supposed to do CPR on soft surfaces, but you don’t think you could move him if you wanted to, so you fold your hands on his chest and start compressions.

You do the thirty chest compressions, and then lean in to give him two breaths, before you adjust your weight to do more chest compressions.

But before you can start your second round of chest compressions, the man coughs and groans, and his eyes flutter open. He has one brown eye and one grey one, though it quickly becomes clear that his grey eye is a prosthetic of some sort.

“Ah! You’re not dead!” You exclaim cheerfully.

“Not yet,” He replies, his voice raspy, likely from disuse. Slowly he sits up and you topple off of the bed with a pained oof. He watches you, almost impassively, and he arches a single brow, “You…do not work for my family.”

“Uh…no.”

“Who are you?”

You hold up both of your hands, “No one special, really. Who are you?”

He swings his legs off the bed, and then shoots you an odd look, “My name is Wolffe. I’m the Second Prince.”

“Uh…nice to meet you…your highness?”

He chuckles, “Just Wolffe is fine.” There’s silence for a moment, “Why’s it so dark?”

“Oh, that would be the magic vines wrapped around the palace.” You reply, “They’ve been here for…hundreds of years? No one remembers when they first appeared, actually.”

Wolffe stares at you, and you shift uncomfortably, “If these vines are covering the whole palace, how did you get in?”

“Oh, I used…” You pull a vial out, “My employer gave me seven vials. I had to use two to get in.”

“Your employer?”

“Oh, well. I was hired to recover something from inside the palace.”

“What?”

“Anything that I thought would transport well.” You admit with a shrug.

He narrows his eyes at you, “So, you’re a thief.”

“I really prefer the term recovery specialist—” You start, only to squeak when he grabs you by the collar and pulls you so that you’re face to face with him.

“And why should I allow a thief to steal anything that belongs to me.”

“Ah…well…because I saved your life?”

He stares at you hard, and then releases you, “You raise a fair point, I suppose.” Wolffe narrows his eyes at you, “You’re a woman?”

“...how in the name of all that’s holy did you—?”

“I looked down your shirt.”

“...I should have let you die.” You say flatly.

“I didn’t do it intentionally.” Wolffe counters with a roll of his eyes.

“That’s no excu—” You stop midsentence when a shriek, unholy and hair-raising, echoes through the palace. Your head snaps to the hallway, and then, when you hear the sound of metal dragging against leather, your head snaps to Wolffe, who’s now holding a sword. “Where did you get—?”

“You didn’t deal with the creature?” He demands.

“What creature?” You demand right back.

Wolffe grabs you and flings you behind him as the door bursts open and something enters the room.

Even later, you would never be able to describe what this creature looked like. All you would remember is the eyes, the acid, and the claws.

Wolffe tackles you out of the way as the creature lunges at the pair of you, and he half drags you out of the room and into the oppressive hallway. “Stay close.” He orders as he takes your hand and starts running, “How’d you get in?”

“Wine cellar.” You answer, as you sprint after him.

“Too far,” He throws open a door and shoves you into a closet before he joins you and slams the door shut.

“Great, you just trapped us in a closet.” You hiss at him.

He rolls his eyes, expressively, and ushers you to the back wall, where he opens a wall panel and reveals a small lift. “Get it, it’ll carry both of us to the kitchen.”

“Um…” You doubtfully eye the ancient machine, but before you can argue properly, he climbs into the box, and then pulls you in after him, settling you on his lap.

Wolffe shuts the door, and adjusts you slightly, his arms secure around your waist, “The rope in front of you,” He says, his breath hot against your ear, “Grap the one farthest away and pull on it.”

“Uh…right.” Clumsily, you do as he asks, and the small lift starts lowering.

“Well done.” He praises, “Sorry that you’re not going to get anything from inside the palace though.”

You make a face, “Well, it was a long shot anyway.”

There’s a thump as the lift comes to a stop and Wolffe pulls the door open. He glances around for a moment, and then pulls you out of the lift with him, effortlessly manhandling you as if you weigh nothing.

It should be twice as annoying and half as attractive as it is.

“There, the side door.” Wolffe pulls you over to the door and rips the door open onto to come face to the vine, “Fuck.”

“I warned you.” You say as you pull three of the vials out of your pouch, pull him back, and then throw the vials at the vines.

The opening that the fire makes is big enough for both you and Wolffe to escape, and you quickly pull him out of the palace before the vines reclaim the building for their own.

“My zipline is over in the gardens,” You say as the vines snap back into place, “If we’re lucky, we’ll get out and no one will be the wiser that we were here in the first place.”

“And if we’re not lucky?”

“Ah…we die.”

“...lovely.”

“Well, welcome to the future, your highness.”

He laughs quietly, and you flash a small grin at him. Wolffe opens his mouth to say something, only for the inhuman wail from the creature inside the palace to echo across the grounds.

You look up just as a wall explodes outwards and the creature flings itself over the wall and into the city proper.

“I think the creature escaped.”

“Is that our fault?” You ask.

“It would have happened eventually, I think.” Wolffe tries to reassure, “But we need to go. Now.”

“Right. Right! This way,” You take his hand to pull him towards the garden, only for him to pull you back and press a quick kiss to your forehead, “...what was that for?”

He just grins at you, “You saved my life, which makes me your problem now.”

“Wait, that isn’t how it works—”

“It is for me, come on. Let’s get out of here.”

You huff out a sigh, “Fine. But only until I can drop you on someone else.”

Wolffe laughs, “I’m more than capable of wooing you, pretty girl. Just you watch.”

And you can feel your face heat, which Wolffe also notices based on the smug smirk that crosses his face. “Let’s get out of here, Eri’s probably worried sick.” Still, getting wooed by an actual prince might not be terrible.

[mariacallous]

A young technologist known online as “Big Balls,” who works for Elon Musk's so-called Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE), has access to sensitive US government systems. But his professional and online history call into question whether he would pass the background check typically required to obtain security clearances, security experts tell WIRED.

Edward Coristine, a 19-year-old high school graduate, established at least five different companies in the last four years, with entities registered in Connecticut, Delaware, and the United Kingdom, most of which were not listed on his now-deleted LinkedIn profile. Coristine also briefly worked in 2022 at Path Network, a network monitoring firm known for hiring reformed black-hat hackers. Someone using a Telegram handle tied to Coristine also solicited a cyberattack-for-hire service later that year.

Coristine did not respond to multiple requests for comment.

One of the companies Coristine founded, Tesla.Sexy LLC, was set up in 2021, when he would have been around 16 years old. Coristine is listed as the founder and CEO of the company, according to business records reviewed by WIRED.

Tesla.Sexy LLC controls dozens of web domains, including at least two Russian-registered domains. One of those domains, which is still active, offers a service called Helfie, which is an AI bot for Discord servers targeting the Russian market.While the operation of a Russian website would not violate US sanctions preventing Americans doing business with Russian companies, it could potentially be a factor in a security clearance review.

"Foreign connections, whether it's foreign contacts with friends or domain names registered in foreign countries, would be flagged by any agency during the security investigation process," Joseph Shelzi, a former US Army intelligence officer who held security clearance for a decade and managed the security clearance of other units under his command, tells WIRED.

A longtime former US intelligence analyst, who requested anonymity to speak on sensitive topics, agrees. “There's little chance that he could have passed a background check for privileged access to government systems,” they allege.

Another domain under Coristine’s control is faster.pw. The website is currently inactive, but an archived version from October 25, 2022 shows content in Chinese that stated the service helped provide “multiple encrypted cross-border networks.”

Prior to joining DOGE, Coristine worked for several months of 2024 at Elon Musk’s Neuralink brain implant startup, and, as WIRED previously reported, is now listed in Office of Personnel Management records as an “expert” at that agency, which oversees personnel matters for the federal government. Employees of the General Services Administration say he also joined calls where they were made to justify their jobs and to review code they’ve written.

Other elements of Coristine’s personal record reviewed by WIRED, government security experts say, would also raise questions about obtaining security clearances necessary to access privileged government data. These same experts further wonder about the vetting process for DOGE staff—and, given Coristine’s history, whether he underwent any such background check.

The White House did not immediately respond to questions about what level of clearance, if any, Corisitine has, and if so, how it was granted.

At Path Network, Coristine worked as a systems engineer from April to June of 2022, according to his now-deleted LinkedIn resume. Path has at times listed as employees Eric Taylor, also known as Cosmo the God, a well-known former cybercriminal and member of the hacker group UGNazis, as well as Matthew Flannery, an Australian convicted hacker whom police allege was a member of the hacker group LulzSec. It’s unclear whether Coristine worked at Path concurrently with those hackers, and WIRED found no evidence that either Coristine or other Path employees engaged in illegal activity while at the company.

“If I was doing the background investigation on him, I would probably have recommended against hiring him for the work he’s doing,” says EJ Hilbert, a former FBI agent who also briefly served as the CEO of Path Network prior to Coristine’s employment there. “I’m not opposed to the idea of cleaning up the government. But I am questioning the people that are doing it.”

Potential concerns about Coristine extend beyond his work history. Archived Telegram messages shared with WIRED show that, in November 2022, a person using the handle “JoeyCrafter” posted to a Telegram channel focused on so-called distributed denial of service, or DDOS, cyberattacks that bombard victim sites with junk traffic to knock them offline. In his messages, JoeyCrafter—which records from Discord, Telegram, and the networking protocol BGP indicate was a handle used by Coristine—writes that he’s “looking for a capable, powerful and reliable L7” that accepts Bitcoin payments. That line, in the context of a DDOS-for-hire Telegram channel, suggests he was looking for someone who could carry out a layer 7 attack, a certain form of DDOS. A DDOS-for-hire service with the name Dstat.cc was seized in a multi-national law enforcement operation last year.

The JoeyCrafter Telegram account had previously used the name “Rivage,” a name linked to Coristine on Discord and at Path, according to Path internal communications shared with WIRED. Both the Rivage Discord and Telegram accounts at times promoted Coristine’s DiamondCDN startup. It’s not clear whether the JoeyCrafter message was followed by an actual DDOS attack. (In the internal messages among Path staff, a question is asked about Rivage, at which point an individual clarifies they are speaking about "Edward".)

"It does depend on which government agency is sponsoring your security clearance request, but everything that you've just mentioned would absolutely raise red flags during the investigative process," Shelzi, the former US Army intelligence officer says. He adds that a secret security clearance could be completed in as little as 50 days while a top secret security clearance could take anywhere from 90 days to a year to complete.

Coristine’s online history, including a LinkedIn account where he calls himself Big Balls, has disappeared recently. He also previously used an account on X with the username @edwardbigballer. The account had a bio that read: “Technology. Arsenal. Golden State Warriors. Space Travel.”

Prior to using the @edwardbigballer username, Coristine was linked to an account featuring the screenname “Steven French” featuring a picture of what appears to be Humpty Dumpty smoking a cigar. In multiple posts from 2020 and 2021, the account can be seen responding to posts from Musk. Coristine’s X account is currently set to private.

Davi Ottenheimer, a longtime security operations and compliance manager, says many factors about Coristine’s employment history and online footprint could raise questions about his ability to obtain security clearance.

“Limited real work experience is a risk,” says Ottenheimer, as an example. “Plus his handle is literally Big Balls.”

[ghostybat00]

"OUR CUTE HACKER 👾..." KÖNIG YANDERE AND HORANGI YANDERE

(I need more Horangi content, but I also need more König yandere content, so I said fuck it, both of them as yanderes for a hacker reader, and here we are lol)

Reader gender neutral.

👾:Imagine being a hacker at the Kortac base of operation, you are someone who wants to go unnoticed. It's a shame that these two soldiers won't allow you to be alone anymore.

👾:You met the two quickly after you were hired as a hacker operator, specialized in stealing data from enemy bases and extracting important information on missions.

👾:First you met Horangi, he was a quite energetic man, a good soldier of Korean nationality, you caught his attention from the beginning, was it your cute little face? How your beautiful hands move around the keyboard and mouse, extracting data while you look so irresistible?He didn't know it, whenever you were around he would make jokes and sarcastic comments, he camouflaged himself that it was to break the tension with the team, But it was only to have even a minimal chance of seeing a nice smile or laugh from you.

👾:Horangi quickly told König, König hadn't really met you, but if he was a little tired of Horangi never shutting up talking about you, of course, he didn't know what he was missing when had the opportunity to meet you on a mission, you helped them and the others to open a database and finish the mission easier.

👾:Then he saw you physically...he swore he thought he saw a "Engel", You were so cute, so intelligent, the blood rushed to his face that fortunately for him, his piece of cloth on his face covered, from that moment on he understood why Horangi never kept quiet about you.

👾:They both tried to be friends with you, but it was a bit difficult since you were a bit quiet. They always tried to get you to spend time alone with them, inviting you to eat with them during breaks. Protecting you a lot when you had missions with them.

👾:Horangi used to use his humor to get the better of you, more than once making a cute laugh or small smile escape you, god how he loved that.Also, in his free time he used to write poems, so what's better than making some for yourself and leaving them in your locker or room?, The poems were very beautiful and always came with nicknames, but in the Korean language, he liked to see how you tried to decipher what meant each new nickname he gave you, such as "내 꽃" (My flower) "내 아기" (My baby) "나의 별" (My Star).

👾:It was obvious that König was more reserved, he wasn't shy, but he definitely wasn't very talkative, at least when it came to you if he usually made the effort to strike up conversations outside of the professional. Also, one of his favorite things was to help you train, of course, you were military too, but you were a hacker, so you were not in the same physical condition as them, So he helped you exercise more, taking the opportunity to touch you more, like helping you use a gym machine, putting his big hands on your hips for much longer.

👾:This was the nice part that you knew about them, not the obsessive and possessive part of these two.

👾:The two used to work together to eliminate any man or woman who would try to take you away from them. Did a rookie soldier try to flirt with you? Oh! You never saw that rookie again, he magically decided to quit after being brutally beaten!, Did an enemy even give you a mini cut? He died in the most brutal way possible, leaving his body unrecognizable!

👾:Another thing about them is that, worshiping it was a daily requirement for them. They see you as a god/goddess, you are so cute and unreal that sometimes they wonder if you are real or the both fell into a beautiful fantasy.They love you so much, that even the smallest thing about you drives them crazy,so much so that they keep them as if they were sacred objects simply because they were with you.Things like a ring that you dropped that was on your pretty finger? You never found it, and the plastic water bottle you just threw away a few seconds ago?, is magically no longer in the trash can.

👾:Speaking of item collection, yeah, they share a fucking sanctuary of you, hidden in the closet in König's room. Mundane things you used, even intimate things like a toothbrush you no longer needed, underwear you wore etc.

👾:They continue to act as your "just friends", although of course in the future they plan to make you their wife/husband, They are also very protective, thanks to König's status as a Colonel, they can keep you safe better, such as ordering soldiers not to get too close to you, excluding you from the others unless it is necessary for a mission, after all you already have them, what else would you need?.

👾:And they are very intelligent, especially Horangi who is a better manipulator than König, they know strategies so that you don't discover them and if you ever suspect them they cover it up as a coincidence.

👾:They really like "friends" nights, where during your free time at work you are squeezed between their muscular bodies in a comfortable bed,while watching some movie or series, you definitely have them around your finger, with the disadvantage that now you had 2 huge soldiers obsessed with you, and who will never let you escape.

[thegildedbee]

Calm/Hobby: May 7 & 8 Prompts from @calaisreno

As his Air Baltic flight from Oslo begins its descent into Tallinn, Sherlock stares distractedly out the window at the thinning layer of clouds, and pushes back at the whisper of bleakness that it it is the Estonian coastline coming into view, not the South East shores of England. He girds himself with stoicism as he feels a tendril of melancholy begin to unfurl at the fact that Sherlock Holmes no longer exists, now that Herr Lukas Sigerson has taken his place.

He knows that this new identity will only be the first of many.

Sigerson has brown eyes, and wears dark brown tortoiseshell glasses; his dark hair is beginning to have a salt and pepper cast to it, his lower face is covered by stubble. His loose-limbed gait is relaxed, and there's a remnant of a tendency to stutter when he speaks. Hidden from view are the still-healing cracked ribs on the right side of his torso, the damaged ligaments of his right knee, and the fact that the ossicular chain within his right ear bears traces of having been successfully reconstructed, the surgical repair restoring the hearing he had lost after the trauma to his skull. 

When Sherlock had been ready to leave the UK to begin to grapple with Moriarty’s extant remains -- the people and infrastructure and schemes dispersed across the globe -- it had been hard to determine what to do first and where and why. Of the three assassins in London on the day of his fall, the one assigned to Mrs. Hudson – a thuggish fellow more noteworthy for his brawn than any brains – had been rolled up by Mycroft’s people even before Sherlock had been delivered to the morgue. The one assigned to Lestrade had been somewhat harder to ferret out, but as Sherlock began piecing together what details he could collect during his recuperation, he had determined that he was a functionary who had infiltrated the Met – and the resolution of that criminal had also been left to Mycroftian minions. 

But John’s sniper was of a different cast altogether, an experienced professional who had made no mistakes and vanished like vapor. Sherlock believed that individual had been more than a freelance hire -– Mrs. Hudson and Lestrade had been brought into the mix of those in danger of losing their lives because every action of Moriarty’s was as theatrical and excessive as it was insane: ransoming John’s life had always been the true motive. John’s sniper would have been especially close to Moriarty, and likely a member of the upper echelon of his criminal syndicate. Sherlock suspected that acquiring the information that would allow him to destroy this person was going to be an exceedingly difficult proposition.

He needed information, and Sherlock had finally decided that the place to begin was with Estonia, the tiny nation that had regained its independence from Soviet occupation in 1991, and that had chosen to bypass the encumbering drag of the impoverished infrastructure bequeathed from the Soviets, by abandoning it. Estonia had instead risked its future by constructing an economy based on the latest digital technologies, leapfrogging more advanced nations as it became a cyber-powered incubator of innovation, and one of the most wired countries in the world. Sherlock had no doubt that Moriarty would have been intent on turning this transformation to his own advantage; he would have found the opportunity irresistible.

Moriarty’s claim to have a code that could take over any computer was false, but even so Sherlock suspected that this fabulation pointed at something all too real: investments by Moriarity in the dark web, and in the recruitment of cadres of hackers to be manipulated into hijacking computer networks. In April and May of 2007, Estonia had been besieged for three weeks by waves of cyberattacks that had crippled its digital public and private sectors, from government entities such as the foreign and defense ministries, to banks, corporate enterprises, and media outlets. Estonia had traced the attacks to actors within Moldova’s breakaway state of Transnistria, a long narrow geographic entity bordering Ukraine that displayed the Soviet Communist hammer-and-sickle on its flag and coat of arms. Sherlock suspected that these cyberterrorist actors were performing roles under Moriarty’s direction, and that he would find information from within Estonia that would point to the far-flung nodes of his enemy’s wretched empire. 

With their impending arrival in Tallinn, the melancholy that had emerged begins to become more deeply rooted, and Sherlock’s mind's eye paints pictures of what lies in the deep of the sea passage below, and across the sea miles beyond Britain’s and Europe’s contours – fragments of exploded ordnance littering the ocean floor, where bodies entombed in submarines and battleships are testament to the destructive capabilities of bands of people bent on glory and riches and domination.

His meandering thoughts catch hold of a memory in the viewing room of his mind palace, the one that records the evenings when John had chosen a film to share as they sat propped up together on the sofa in the darkness. It focused on the US Army Air Force unit that flew missions from East Anglia in World War II, and the appointment of a new commanding officer tasked with reversing the underperformance of the bombing teams. 

He had been riveted by the harsh speech the uncompromising commander delivers to the group of pilots, who simmer with resentment at his theory that part of their problems lie with their playing it safe. He tells them that while fear is to be expected, the only choice they have is to stop worrying about the fear, and about themselves. He can still feel the chill of premonition when he heard the figure on the screen bite out his message: “We’re in a war – a shooting war. We’ve got to fight. And some of us have got to die." But it was the follow-on command that is engraved in his mind beyond the memory palace, visible in the shadow of all else he is thinking about: "Stop making plans. Forget about going home. Consider yourselves already dead. After that, it won’t be so tough.” And so, too, was his bombing run a flight into the unknown, against unseen enemies, the actions of a self-created ghost who must reckon that he truly inhabits the underworld from this point on.

Sherlock closes his eyes and continues work on the new spaces that he has been constructing in his mind palace, an effort that never fails to bring him calm, even when other emotions are in play. These new rooms are cloisters and refectories based on the architecture of a thirteenth-century monastery, in deference to Tallinn’s remarkable preservation of the medieval city within its precincts, and he has reserved this adjacent building for whatever part Eastern Europe will play in his sojourns. It is complicated artistry, and he is the last one to rise and exit the airplane.

As Herr Sigerson makes his way toward the front of the compact airport, he adjusts the rucksack on his shoulder, and tugs the bottom of his jumper to straighten it. As a standard issue Norwegian, he is, of course, kitted out in knitted wool, although the garment he wears is only a single hue; the vividly colored patterns favored by so many of the inhabitants of his improvised homeland hurt both his eyesight and his sense of fashion. Sherlock smiles at the thought that John would be amused, were he to see his couture, and consider it revenge for Sherlock’s hobby of “inadvertently” wreaking havoc on the least attractive of John’s jumpers.

Sherlock's half-zip pullover is a dark navy blue with a beautiful sheen, and it is not completely devoid of decoration – it is just that the design is woven into the single color, slightly raised, subdued in its visibility. On the back is the Norse symbol of the vegvisir, which was said to allow its possessor to always find the right path, no matter how turbulent the environment might be. Next to the wayfinding icon is a letter from the ancient runic alphabet said to summon good luck. No doubt John would also be amused at the fact that his relentlessly rational friend is carrying these mystical totems on his body. Although, perhaps not, were he to know of the future toward which Sherlock has now committed himself. ........................................................ @calaisreno @totallysilvergirl @friday411 @peanitbear @original-welovethebeekeeper rest of the @s in the tags, which will work for communication purposes, I hope? just say the word if you want to be untagged or tagged xoxoxo

[disregardcanon]

amc iwtv abigail (2024) au 

The year is 2024. The location is Paris. A team of professional criminals are hired to kidnap the “daughter of a wealthy businessman” and hold her hostage for a large sum of money. 

This team includes: 

The “mastermind” 

The medic in charge of anesthetic doses and taking care of the kid 

The getaway driver

The hacker

The muscle

The ex army 

These roles are played by

Santiago as the mastermind

Madeline as the medic 

Estelle as the getaway driver

Daniel as the hacker

Celeste as the muscle

Now you may ask, why these particular choices? Here's the explanation

The “mastermind” of the team thinks that he’s far smarter than he is, doesn’t view abigail the child vampire as either a threat or a creature with feelings, starts out sadistic and only gets worse until he’s the real villain of the piece after becoming a vampire toward the end of the movie. This is all very Santiago to me. 

The medic is the one who develops a bond with Abigail, the child vampire. In the movie, this character has a son that she’s trying to get the job money for so that she can reconcile with him too. While I wouldn’t want that to be the exact backstory, it does work for the framing. A Madeline who went into health care to help her ailing younger sister and try to get her foot in the door for a medical transition. Who was able to transition but had that kill her career and then had to resort to working for crime bosses. She ends up nicking some of their supplies to try to help her sister and has a very traumatic firing. Without that income and those supplies her sister dies and she loses access to her hormones, so she decides to do something.. Drastic. To try to get back on her feet. What other option does she have, really?

Estelle is the getaway driver because she blows up on a motorcycle and I think that’s funny 

Old Maniel. This character in the movie is a young woman from a wealthy family who hacks for the fun and the thrill. I love the idea that publication of his vampire memoir destroyed his journalistic career in the 80s. After that, he still had to make do somehow, right? Hacking got the job done. He’s doing one more big job to send home an enormous paycheck to his girls, maybe write a book about it that’ll be published post mortem and keep paying their bills. Sure, whatever he gets on paper won’t make him look good, but it’ll be something. He doesn’t expect that vampires involved in his past situation would be so close to the ones plotting this situation.

Celeste as the muscle because if Estelle is there she has to be too. 

I liked the ex army character but he doesn’t really line up with anyone I have in mind so. He has been tragically cut. Such is life

ONTO THE PLOT!

Santiago brings the group together. No one tells anyone else their real name. 

Then, they kidnap their mark from her luxurious Paris apartment. Everyone feels a little weird about the mark being a kid when no one was informed of that, but like.. It’s a bit too late to turn back when the kid’s knocked out in the back of your car, right? And like… she’s not a kindergartener or anything. She’s probably like… 13? A bratty little teenager with a rich dad. That’s kind of justifiable, right? 

(It’s not.) 

They get to a giant villa in the countryside and meet up with their contact, a white American woman named Antoinette. She tells them about how they just have to keep the mark in the house overnight while she “negotiates terms” with the father. She confiscates all their electronic devices for the “safety of the operation” and gives them almost no information. After some prodding she gives them all fake names from twilight. Then, she leaves them alone in the mansion for the night with the bursting liquor cabinet.

We get some character setup after Estelle tries to do a cold read on the others and madeline calls everything she says out as bullshit. Then estelle’s like well if that was so bad how about you try it? And then madeline reads the CRAP outta her. Then celeste asks for one and it’s spot on. Santiago’s like here’s 50 bucks if you can say ONE true thing about me. And she’s like you were an undercover cop who decided that you liked being able to hurt people even more easily and never wanted to go back to having some level of rules on you. And he’s like WELL YOU’RE A DUDE! And she’s just like wow! How original! You figured out that I Transed My Gender. Can you tell me literally one other thing about me? And he. Can’t. Because he’s not as smart as he thinks he is! 

Daniel has been weirdly quiet during this, so she turns to him and she’s like hey gramps do you want one? And he’s like i would literally rather die. She’s figured out that he used to be a journalist from a few of his conversational ticks but she doesn’t point it out, because he asked for no reading and she has some manners. Unlike SOME people! She’s blunt but she’s not a total asshole. 

Then, Madeline goes up to check on the mark who should be waking up from the anesthetic soon. She IS! The girl plays up being scared and hurting and madeline’s like. Well the blindfold is a LITTLE over the top. I have a mask on. This is fine. She won’t be able to ID me from a lineup like this, probably, 

So she takes the mark’s blindfold off. Now that the thing is off, the girl doesn’t seem scared at all. It’s like it was just a game and she’s done with it now. No “who are you” no “what are you doing” no “are you going to hurt me?” Just a staring contest with a middle schooler. 

In the briefing, they told them that the mark’s first language was English. That’s the language that Madeline starts with. 

“Who are you?” Madeline asks.

The girl smiles. “I’m Claudia.” 

“Your whole name.” Madeline clarifies. The kid must be someone powerful’s daughter if she’s this assured of her own safety. 

“Just Claudia,” the girl tells her, “I’m not on good terms with either of my fathers right now.” Well. That gives Madeline some information at least. The girl has two fathers who are separated. 

“We’re not going to hurt you,” Madeline assures her, because it feels like something she should do. It’s what she’d planned to do, coming up here. 

“I know,” Claudia tells her, “you can’t hurt me.” 

Madeline feels her breath catch in her chest. “We can’t?” 

“You can’t.” 

“And how do you know that?” Madeline asks.

“I just do.” 

Madeline laughs. “Any other insight you want to give me?” 

Claudia smiles brightly. “Sure. Can you tell Daniel Molloy that I didn’t like his book?” Madeline feels fear curl up even sharper in her gut. A fearless child named Claudia, two powerful fathers, and Daniel Molloy. She lives in Paris. She is very familiar with that man’s “memoir” from the absolutely exhausting American tourists obsessed with retracing the steps of the “real life” vampires chronicled in the book that killed a promising journalistic career in the 80s. 

Is someone punking them? She doesn’t even let herself consider the crazier option: that everything in that book was real. 

After whatever THAT interaction is, madeline corners santiago to make him give her more information. Who is this kid’s dad? Does she actually have two? Does he have any real clue who this kid is? Why does she seem unphased by being kidnapped? Why doesn't she seem like a kid at all? 

He’s less than helpful, so Madeline brings her findings to the entire group. How the girl doesn’t seem phased at all by being kidnapped. How she claims she’s not on good terms with “either father”. “Just Claudia” and her strange request for Daniel Molloy. 

“Okay, yeah,” the elderly hacker says, closing his laptop and standing up, “that’s my bullshit threshold. I’m getting the fuck outta here.” 

“What?” Estelle asks, “but we are so close to getting our money?” 

“I am not waiting around for one of Claudia’s dads,” he declares. 

She frowns. “Do you know them?” 

“Know them?” he asks, “uh yeah, I know them. One of them, at least. He’s not a man you wanna mess with.” 

Celeste rolls her eyes. “Come on. What could make him so frightening? Truly?” 

He just stares at her. “He’s a vampire.”

Estelle bursts into laughter, “Oh, what a funny old man you are! Who is he really?” 

“A fucking vampire!” he repeats with wide, terrified eyes. 

“Ah,” Santiago says, “you’re the Daniel Molloy. I should have known.” 

Celeste frowns. “Who?” 

Estelle giggles. “He wrote the gay vampire memoir! He always said it was real.” 

“It was!” the guy tells them, “every fucking thing I wrote there was real. Every word. And no one believed me.” Santiago snorts. 

The old man turns towards him with a deadly look in his eyes. “You think that’s funny?” 

“Yes,” Santiago assures him, “I do.” 

He points to a nasty, mottled scar across his neck. “Her father did this to me. I almost died. Still think it’s funny?” 

“Yes,” he assures him, “with every word you speak it just gets funnier.” 

“Whatever, man,” the old man mutters, “I’m getting out of here before she starts picking you fuckers off.” Then he turns to the driver. “Can I have the keys?” 

“No! I’m not giving you the car keys!” Estelle declares, “we will need them to leave in the morning.” 

He laughs. “None of you are making it to morning. I’m getting outta here while there's still some sun.” 

“Then you will be walking,” Estelle says firmly. 

“Whatever,” Daniel says, waving off the comment, “I’ll take my chances with the walk to town.” 

The old man staggers out the door and into the dying evening sun, leaving his cut of 50 million dollars on the table. 

“Well,” Celeste says, “more money for the rest of us.” That brings each of their counts up to 12 million dollars. Certainly enough for Madeline to give her sister a proper funeral and pay for HRT for the rest of her days. 

Santiago goes to “speak” to Claudia, which is just an excuse to try to intimidate her and be mean. She lets it “slip” that she’s the daughter of a famous crime boss who has people killed by decapitating them: Lestat de Lioncourt.

He comes to give the group that information and they decide they'll take their chances. Like... sure. That makes… some sort of sense? If her father is a terrifying crime boss that could explain some of her behaviors. She’s still worried, but she tries not to let those consume her. 

Claudia isn’t a vampire. She’s just… a smart young woman. Older than she looks, surely. Stunted growth, perhaps? That can happen with neglect. Perhaps she split from her fathers because of something along those lines. An undergrad student, perhaps. The team made an assumption concerning her age and Antoinette just let them go with it. 

(Madeline tries not to let her mind settle too long on “Antoinette” from the book- the mistress whose position was always so precarious until she just… disappeared from the story entirely.) 

She goes to speak with Claudia again to put her worries to rest. This will prove to her that this isn’t a preternatural middle school student but a shrewd university student. 

When Claudia sees her, she starts speaking French. It sounds atrocious. 

Madeline doesn’t bother responding in her mother tongue. 

In English once again, she says, “Your French is bad.” 

Claudia sticks with her atrocious French. “Really? You’d think a girl would get better after 80 years.” Four twenties, she claims. 

Madeline chuckles and permits the girl a response in French. “Four twenties, you say? I will believe you’ve lived one of them, at least.” 

Claudia grins as she switches back to her mother tongue. “Not buying the little girl act?” 

Madeline scoffs. “You only acted as a little girl before we caught you. The moment you were here, you showed your true colors.” 

“I’m a hundred year old vampire,” Claudia tells her, "a hundred twenty one to be exact."

Madeline laughs. “No, I think you are a cunning college student conning your father out of money.” 

Claudia grins, maneuvering her cuffs to be slightly more comfortable. “However would I do that?” 

“Stage your own kidnapping,” Madeline posits, “then scare the attackers into leaving and pocket the money."

“How would I do that, exactly?” Claudia asks. She sounds intrigued, excited to hear Madeline tell her back her own genius plan. 

“You’re pretending to be the vampire Claudia from Molloy’s delusional diary,” Madeline tells her, “you hired another woman to pretend to be the vampire Antoinette. Recruited a few people that you thought would be susceptible to strange suggestions in addition to the father of the delusion itself so they’d leave. Then you get 25 million to yourself at the end.” 

Madeline turns her head to finish her point and notices something.

She’s not in cuffs anymore- 

Claudia’s canines slide down like a trick door, turning into fangs. 

“I like you,” Claudia tells her, “I think I’ll kill you last.” 

This is where “you should watch the movie if you haven’t yet” comes into full effect. The action is GREAT and I am just going to give you a brief play by play. The house seals itself into a special trap until the sun comes up. Claudia kills Estelle first- detaches her head from her body and drinks her blood. The three survivors band together for a while to try to evade her and stay alive. 

The stakes rise as they try to talk about what awaits them outside of this death mansion. Santiago decides that he straight up hates her for “letting her sister die” and having the gall to Be Trans About It. 

They “capture” Claudia who spends the whole time taunting them and turning them against each other. Santiago is needlessly cruel. Claudia “escapes” and Madeline realizes that she was never trapped in the first place. They engage in a Flirtatious Bonding Moment TM before the group splits again. Madeline and Santiago run off and Celeste gets left behind.

Then, Celeste gets turned into a vampiric puppet that Claudia uses to scare the shit out of them before the woman's body dies. It seems like Claudia has all of the murders in the bag until a door to a hidden room opens up and fucking Antoinette is behind it. And guess what! She WAS the mistress! She gives them some pathetic backstory bits about being a scorned lover turned by one of Claudia’s fathers a hundred years ago. Lestat, the one who turned her to be his lover, planned to kill her as a peace offering to his husband as they reunited at the temporary return of their runaway daughter. Said runaway daughter decided that she wanted to start again, completely on her own, and requested that Antoinette be allowed to live in her service since Claudia can’t make a vampire on her own. Both fathers agreed, as it made them feel better for their daughter to have someone as she ventured off into vampiric adulthood away from them. Antoinette has been forced to play errand girl to her ex-lover’s daughter for 80 years. The ex-lover that was going to kill her to return to his husband’s good graces. 

So yeah. Antoinette wants to turn someone she thinks can help her defeat Claudia and then get rid of her keeper and find out how to escape somewhere that loustat can’t find her afterwards. Compassionless, mainly competent Santiago seems like a very good choice!

He is. At least… he like, takes to the gift? Pretty immediately? But he kills Antoinette because he doesn’t want to share and then Madeline realizes that she’s 100% safer with Claudia. She’d been thinking that might be the case for a while, but now she’s certain. 

Madeline tries to get away from him to find Claudia and makes it to her, but they realize quickly that his size advantage is.. .real bad for her in a fight. Especially since Madeline’s like, 100% dying. He shifts the odds one more time by trying to make Madeline into a vampiric puppet like he saw Claudia do. Thankfully his hubris got the better of him and it doesn’t work. Madeline’s able to fight against it and restrain him. 

Restraining him is just a temporary fix, though. Madeline is bleeding out and Claudia is trying to bring her back from the brink with her blood, but with a volatile Freshly Turned Fledgling and a dying human that claudia doesn’t WANT to die… the odds aren’t looking great for her.

That is until her father finally does come. Lestat de Lioncourt appears in all of his vampiric glory. The moment he arrives he’s separated Santiago’s head from his body. 

“You’re late,” Claudia says primly.

He huffs. “Late? I wasn’t aware I was welcome until you were losing a fight with a fledgling!” 

“A fledgling that your fledgling made,” Claudia says, “so really, it was your fault.” He smiles ever so slightly. 

“If you had allowed me to kill Antoinette years ago, she never could have moved against you,” Lestat tells her pointedly. 

Claudia shrugs an acknowledgement. “I wanted a companion. She worked alright."

He snorts. “That's what I thought when I made her, but Antoinette was a poor replacement for your father."

Claudia frowns. “Where is Daddy Lou?” 

“Home,” Lestat tells her. 

“What? He didn’t come help?” she sounds devastated that her father might have been reading the paper while she was being hunted. 

“He closed his mind off from you,” he says, “per your request, ma petite.” 

She moves her hand up to her elbow to rub gently at the viscera coating it. “Asking that of him mighta been… harsh.” 

The man smile ever so slightly. “Perhaps. If you were to reopen your mind to him-” 

“No,” Claudia tells him, “just havin’ your presence in there is bad enough.” 

He flinches. 

“But..” Claudia says, “maybe you could just… keep an eye on me, just in case?" A slight smile. “And you can both come round every once in a while, I s’pse.” 

Lestat’s eyes drift over to the mortal dying on the floor. “Would you like assistance with this.. Cleanup?” 

Madeline feels her heart stop in her chest. What does that mean, exactly? 

“You can’t kill her,” Claudia says firmly. 

Lestat turns his gaze toward back to his daughter. “And why is that?” 

“She saved my life,” Claudia tells him, “and I like her. She’s interesting.” 

“Hm,” he says appraisingly, “you are without a companion.” A companion. What, exactly, does that mean? 

Claudia’s eyes widen. “Are you offering to make me one?” 

“You cannot create one on your own,” he says, “and I will not be “coming round”- he uses air quotes, like a douche bag- “until I am invited. So. Yes. I am offering.” 

Madeline tries to wrap her head around this offer, a vampiric eternity with the most interesting person that she’s met in years. Someone who understands the horror of having a body that makes people make all the wrong assumptions. 

Claudia takes her hand. “Well, what do you think? How's forever sound?” There’s nothing in this world for Madeline, anymore. A dead sister and a world that doesn’t want her. 

Why not join someone who might understand? It’s not like she has anything to lose. Her sister is dead and all she’s working towards are a funeral, a tombstone, and her own hormones. Why not live the way that she wants for once?  “I say,” Madeline tells her, “turn me. Now.” Forever isn’t too scary when there’s someone you trust it with.

[sixstringphonic]

DOGE Teen Owns ‘Tesla.Sexy LLC’ and Worked at Startup That Has Hired Convicted Hackers

Experts question whether Edward Coristine, a DOGE staffer who has gone by “Big Balls” online, would pass the background check typically required for access to sensitive US government systems.

February 6th 2025 - via WIRED

A young technologist known online as “Big Balls,” who works for Elon Musk's so-called Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE), has access to sensitive US government systems. But his professional and online history call into question whether he would pass the background check typically required to obtain security clearances, security experts tell WIRED.

Edward Coristine, a 19-year-old high school graduate, established at least five different companies in the last four years, with entities registered in Connecticut, Delaware, and the United Kingdom, most of which were not listed on his now-deleted LinkedIn profile. Coristine also briefly worked in 2022 at Path Network, a network monitoring firm known for hiring reformed blackhat hackers. Someone using a Telegram handle tied to Coristine also solicited a cyberattack-for-hire service later that year.

Coristine did not respond to multiple requests for comment.

One of the companies Coristine founded, Tesla.Sexy LLC, was set up in 2021, when he would have been around 16 years old. Coristine is listed as the founder and CEO of the company, according to business records reviewed by WIRED.

Tesla.Sexy LLC controls dozens of web domains, including at least two Russian-registered domains. One of those domains, which is still active, offers a service called Helfie, which is an AI bot for Discord servers targeting the Russian market. While the operation of a Russian website would not violate US sanctions preventing Americans doing business with Russian companies, it could potentially be a factor in a security clearance review.

"Foreign connections, whether it's foreign contacts with friends or domain names registered in foreign countries, would be flagged by any agency during the security investigation process," Joseph Shelzi, a former US Army intelligence officer who held security clearance for a decade and managed the security clearance of other units under his command, tells WIRED.

A longtime former US intelligence analyst, who requested anonymity to speak on sensitive topics, agrees. “There's little chance that he could have passed a background check for privileged access to government systems,” they allege.

Another domain under Coristine’s control is faster.pw. The website is currently inactive, but an archived version from October 25, 2022 shows content in Chinese that stated the service helped provide “multiple encrypted cross-border networks.”

Prior to joining DOGE, Coristine worked for several months of 2024 at Elon Musk’s Neuralink brain implant startup, and, as WIRED previously reported, is now listed in Office of Personnel Management records as an “expert” at that agency, which oversees personnel matters for the federal government. Employees of the General Services Administration say he also joined calls where they were made to justify their jobs and to review code they’ve written.

Other elements of Coristine’s personal record reviewed by WIRED, government security experts say, would also raise questions about obtaining security clearances necessary to access privileged government data. These same experts further wonder about the vetting process for DOGE staff—and, given Coristine’s history, whether he underwent any such background check.

The White House did not immediately respond to questions about what level of clearance, if any, Corisitine has and, if so, how it was granted.

At Path Network, Coristine worked as a systems engineer from April to June of 2022, according to his now-deleted LinkedIn résumé. Path has at times listed as employees Eric Taylor, also known as Cosmo the God, a well-known former cybercriminal and member of the hacker group UGNazis, as well as Matthew Flannery, an Australian convicted hacker whom police allege was a member of the hacker group LulzSec. It’s unclear whether Coristine worked at Path concurrently with those hackers, and WIRED found no evidence that either Coristine or other Path employees engaged in illegal activity while at the company.

“If I was doing the background investigation on him, I would probably have recommended against hiring him for the work he’s doing,” says EJ Hilbert, a former FBI agent who also briefly served as the CEO of Path Network prior to Coristine’s employment there. “I’m not opposed to the idea of cleaning up the government. But I am questioning the people that are doing it.”

Potential concerns about Coristine extend beyond his work history. Archived Telegram messages shared with WIRED show that, in November 2022, a person using the handle “JoeyCrafter” posted to a Telegram channel focused on so-called distributed denial of service (DDoS) cyberattacks that bombard victim sites with junk traffic to knock them offline. In his messages, JoeyCrafter—which records from Discord, Telegram, and the networking protocol BGP indicate was a handle used by Coristine—writes that he’s “looking for a capable, powerful and reliable L7” that accepts bitcoin payments. That line, in the context of a DDoS-for-hire Telegram channel, suggests he was looking for someone who could carry out a layer-7 attack, a certain form of DDoS. A DDoS-for-hire service with the name Dstat.cc was seized in a multinational law enforcement operation last year.

The JoeyCrafter Telegram account had previously used the name “Rivage,” a name linked to Coristine on Discord and at Path, according to Path internal communications shared with WIRED. Both the Rivage Discord and Telegram accounts at times promoted Coristine’s DiamondCDN startup. It’s not clear whether the JoeyCrafter message was followed by an actual DDoS attack. (In the internal messages among Path staff, a question is asked about Rivage, at which point an individual clarifies they are speaking about “Edward.”)

"It does depend on which government agency is sponsoring your security clearance request, but everything that you've just mentioned would absolutely raise red flags during the investigative process," says Shelzi, the former US Army intelligence officer. He adds that a secret security clearance could be completed in as little as 50 days, while a top-secret security clearance could take anywhere from 90 days to a year to complete.

Coristine’s online history, including a LinkedIn account where he calls himself Big Balls, has disappeared recently. He also previously used an account on X with the username @edwardbigballer. The account had a bio that read: “Technology. Arsenal. Golden State Warriors. Space Travel.”

Prior to using the @edwardbigballer username, Coristine was linked to an account featuring the screen name “Steven French” featuring a picture of what appears to be Humpty Dumpty smoking a cigar. In multiple posts from 2020 and 2021, the account can be seen responding to posts from Musk. Coristine’s X account is currently set to private.

Davi Ottenheimer, a longtime security operations and compliance manager, says many factors about Coristine’s employment history and online footprint could raise questions about his ability to obtain security clearance.

“Limited real work experience is a risk,” says Ottenheimer, as an example. “Plus his handle is literally Big Balls.”

[james0cy]

Business Owner’s Stolen Crypto Recovered After 5-Month Ordeal

When Troy Nathan., the CEO of a boutique software startup based in Austin, Texas, opened an email that appeared to be from a trusted vendor, he had no idea it would mark the beginning of a five-month nightmare.

The message contained a routine-looking invoice and a link to a PDF. But the link redirected him to a spoofed login page that captured his private keys. Within an hour, over $230,000 worth of Ethereum had been drained from his company’s digital wallet. “My heart dropped. I refreshed the wallet and saw the balance was almost zero. I just sat there in disbelief,” Troy said.

The next several weeks were filled with panic, confusion, and failed attempts to recover the funds. Troy hired independent IT security consultants and even reached out to legal experts in blockchain fraud. “Everyone told me the same thing: once it’s gone, it’s gone. That’s the reality of crypto,” he recalled.

But Troy refused to accept that answer.

One late night on a crypto recovery forum, a comment stood out a user recommended a low-profile but highly skilled team called Astraweb, known for using forensic tools to track down stolen digital assets. With little to lose, Troy reached out to their team via Astraweb@cyberdude.com.

To his surprise, Astraweb responded within hours. Their recovery process started with a deep forensic audit of the compromised wallet, followed by blockchain behavior modeling to identify and trace the attackers’ movement. According to Troy, Astraweb utilized tools that could map smart contracts and wallet clusters even when hackers attempted to launder funds across decentralized exchanges or mix them in tumblers.

“They explained everything clearly, didn’t overpromise, and took the time to understand the attack,” Troy said. “Within a few weeks, they had mapped out a trail of transactions and began actively tracking the stolen Ethereum across multiple wallets.”

Using smart contract analytics and darknet monitoring tools, Astraweb was able to intercept transactions and ultimately recover 91% of the stolen assets. “I couldn’t believe it. They recovered over $210,000 worth of Ethereum. I’d already written it off as a total loss.”

Astraweb declined to comment for this story, citing confidentiality and the ongoing nature of other recovery operations. However, their track record is quietly growing in crypto circles, where anonymity and theft often go hand-in-hand.

Troy has since overhauled his company’s digital security protocols. Multi-signature wallets, cold storage, staff training, and simulated phishing tests are now part of the company culture. “This experience taught me that even tech professionals aren’t immune. But there are experts out there who can help if you know where to look.”

For business owners and individuals who have fallen victim to crypto theft, Troy has one recommendation: “Don’t give up. Contact Astraweb at Astraweb@cyberdude.com