#Pyro Lesser Lord Lady??

[aftermathing]

!!! What if I did Genshin Impact Vision-swaps?

[historynerdj2]

A Noob’s introduction to Genshin Impact

Hello, and this is a noob's introduction to Genshin Impact.

This is Genshin Impact. (*ding*)

This 2020 game made and published by miHoYo using the Unity engine, has taken the world by storm, and if you somehow haven’t heard of it, then prepare to be introduced to the lore in the most absurd way possible.

Set in the world known as Teyvat, you, the player character, are the eponymous “Traveler”, a mysterious dimension hopping traveler (thus the name), stuck in the aforementioned world of Teyvat, due to getting smacked down by an Unknown God, alongside your twin. With your twin missing, you must search for answers in this world of Teyvat.

So, what is Teyvat? Teyvat is a world governed… BY THE GODS!!!

Specifically, there is a floating island known as Celestia, from where the Gods who uphold the vague “Heavenly Principles” live.

Not that they actually govern the world most of the time. The ones who actually govern the world are Gods that are collectively referred to as the “7” (because there are 7). These 7, are the Archons, who are not only gods, they are also the ones who lead the various nations of Teyvat, of which there are 7. Each Archon not only gets a nation to govern, but also gets to call dibs on an element. The old timey elements, there is no archon of carbon.

They are, as follows:

- Barbatos, the Anemo (see wind) Archon of Mondstadt, and God of Freedom (an interesting concept for divinity, but ok).

- Rex Lapis (also known as Morax), the Geo (see earth) Archon of Liyue and God of Contracts (because no matter where you go, there is still going to be a jerk that invents legalism).

- Beelzebul, also known as the Raiden Shogun, the Electro (lightning) Archon of Inazuma, and God of Eternity (a bit ironic for a lightning/thunder god, but ok).

- Lesser Lord Kusanali, AKA Blessed One of Wisdom, AKA Mahakusaladhamma, AKA Buer (goodness, that’s a lot of names), Dendro (plants… don’t think too hard about it)

- Archon of Sumeru, God of Wisdom. Focalors, Hydro (water) Archon of Fontaine, and God of Justice.

- The Lady of Fire, Murata, the Pyro (fire) Archon of Natlan, and God of War.

- And finally, the Tsaritsa, the Cryo (ice) Archon of Snezhnaya, and buggered if we know what she is the God of. (I’ve heard at one point that it was of Love, but that hasn’t been confirmed)

Now, what do these elements actually do? Well, the Archons/Celestia grant the mortals Visions, themed around the elements. These visions take the form of a colored gem, and gives the owner of said vision powers. Which they probably need, since there are many dangers in this world. Treasure Hoarder bandits, Hilichurls that are basically gremlins, the Abyss Order, a faction that woke up, and chose that the foe to defeat is everything that moves, and the Fatui, or as I like to call them, fantasy discount KGB.

So, take the dive into the World of Teyvat, and this has been a noobs introduction to Genshin Impact.

[autumn-winds-and-scarlet-leaves]

"Come driving rain or winds that churn, I shall return, by blade alone, armed, if barefoot, to my home..."

Rilmion (son of glimmering light) Birth: some time in the second age Birthplace: the Greenwood Death: Early Third age Reigon: Mirkwood Weapon: Sword [Katana] Class: Wandering swordsman Race: Elf (Former), wandering Ghostly spirit

Apparance:

Eye color: Red Hair Color: white with a strip of Red Skin color: Fair with a turquoise translucent hint to it

Family:

Mother: Ardian, Lesser Lady of Dendro Father: Thanion, servant of Doriath  Elder Brother: Helecara Ice King of the misty mountains (Adopted) Younger Brother: Thalion Lord of the house of the Red Dragon

About:

Romantic Relationship: Yes Partner(s): Undecided Sexuality: Bi

Extra: 

he has a strand of hair which is red due to his younger brother Thalion, as Thalion got teased by other elflings he wanted to dye it the same color as Rilmions for him to instead dye some of his hair red to show that just because he has a unnatural hair color doesn’t mean it is wrong 

Rilmion died to Suaron Protecting his brother only for Suaron to force Pyro powers onto Thalion

Rilmion is good friend with Thilion and they often travel together

He lost most of his memory about his life when he died 

Rilmion knows Aerdis as a detective more than a messenger as Aerdis never carried any messages only cases when he was around

Links:

coming soon

Face Claim Kazuha - Genshin Impact

Tags:

~[🍁🍃 zephyr] *title of what it is about* - OC Info on ____

~[🍁🍃 musing] *interacter* - Rping with [insert person here]

~[⛈️⚡kataigída] - OOC

~[🍃Rp starters]

"Sun and moon rejoice / Birds of dawn sing songs anew"

[dewdrop-writes]

So in a SAGAU, where you're revered as a deity, you've fallen sick. Naturally you're acolytes can tell. Sick!Darling has an effect on the environment, where some things wilt, or the sun glares a little to hard in tandem with your burning headaches.

Of course you're unaware of this, occupied doing battle with germs. Whether you be in the Serenitea Pot, a Home, or somewhere else, Dendro slimes seem to seek you out, sprouting all sorts of medicinal herbs. It doesn't end there though, slimes of all varieties will hop over to your aid! Anemo slimes are excellent comfort and cuddle buddies, if you get heat flashes Cryo and Pyro slimes will work together to regulate them, Hydro slimes (through some loophole in the elemental system) will hydrate you, Electro slimes will make sure you're never alone (Unless you want privacy, they understand). The mutant Electro slimes will be sure to keep you awake, if the sickness gets bad.

Meanwhile Acolytes like Baizhu, Qiqi, Cyno, Albedo (Dottore?) and Sucrose, will put their minds together to find a cure (They will be slightly miffed though, if the culprit turns out to be the common flu or something)

Others will try to keep you in good spirits, spinning a tale or a song of ages long gone. If you have any hobbies, an acolyte who does those things will try and cheer you on doing those things (Klee wants to talk about her favorite types of bombs). Or talking about them, can't have you getting worse! Anything for the player who's loves this land.

If you have Consorts (Those you think of romantically) they'll be by your side through the thick of it, holding your hand, sweet nothings in your ear, cuddles, kisses; they don't care if they get sick. You're the love of their life, and they'll be damned to leave you alone in an hour of need.

Xiangling, Sara and Yanxiao will cook you food with lots of nutrients in it. They care for you too much to see you suffer. But if you ask enough, they might sneak you treats.. Chongyun is willing to share his popsicle recipe, with the added benefits of excising any harmful spirits.

You also have those who go to greater lengths.. Murata and Childe will go apeshit beating up anything they think has caused you harm. Childe has the Tsaritsa to restrain him, but Murata.. The Lady of Fire is gonna call for a little bloodletting in Natlan in your honor. She hopes against hopes this will return the health you gave to the world. She will personally treat you to a healing spring.

The other Archons are on the case too. I think it's safe to assume Venti and Zhongli are by your side. Raiden Ei wishes to see you but unless you get REALLY sick she must work on the Raiden Shogun, or her people will suffer. (She will send Shrine maidens with her regards for your swift recovery though, along with her newest discoveries of the mortal world.) 'Baizhu' will work with you personally on the behalf of Sumeru. Changsheng will tell you funny stories about Liyue, much to Morax's ire. If you're the nerdy type be prepared to be wowed with Sumeru's extensive libraries! (Books and scrolls delivered to your bedside of course)

There are others that wish you the worst though. Celestia hopes for your demise, so you can stop meddling in the world's affairs. (The last time a nation truly welcomed you, they were struck for playing god, ironic since they do the same thing). By extention the Hydro Archon as a sort of puppet will deliberately send you poisons. Fontaine prides itself on Justice, but forsakes it's creator on the grounds of 'violation of the heavenly principles'. Only Rhodeia of Loche seems to know why. The lesser Lord of Kusanali is intimidated by your presence. As such she will wait and see if your a threat to her 'archonhood'.

The Tsaritsa has a complicated relationship with you, nevertheless she sends you well wishes, and hopes for you to be a force of love.

Anyways thanks for reading!

[crymeariveronceagain]

KOTLC is Dystopian-- Here’s my argument why

Okay, so I bring this idea up a lot in my fanfics and on here. I don’t like the government in the Lost Cities. In fact, I think the government in the Lost Cities is so bad that it is downright dystopian. 

Here’s my comprehensive argument list.

The Lost Cities are an aristocracy. The powerful govern the non-powerful and powerful alike, and twelve people are in charge of making choices for every branch and level of society in the Lost Cities, from the talented to the talentless, pyrokinetics to the technopaths.

The laws bend to the whims and wills of the aristocrats. Law is not a constant, and can be changed if a majority of the council has it. That majority is seven on yes or know questions, but could be as low as three if there were enough choices presented.

 If you are convicted of a crime, there is no judiciary system, or jury of peers, you go before the council, and the council decides your fate. 

The new councilors are picked from the nobility. Which means that talentless will not be allowed to run for councilor. 

How are the councilors picked? We don’t know. It’s an election, but who elects the councilors? Everyone? Just Lords and Ladies? Just the talented? Everyone but Pyrokinetics? We really don’t know.

Moreover, councilors can feasibly do anything, whether or not the public approves. And the vote does not even need to be unanimous(see Fintan and the Pyrokinetic Ban.)

The council does not need to keep itself in good favor with the people it controls. There is no check on their power, and no reason for them to care about who they hurt with their laws. 

Matchmaking. That’s it, that’s the whole point.

The talented are always pressured to marry into a “good match” hopefully to raise children who also have talents similar to theirs, and “bad matches” are often ostracized from society as a whole, as well as seen as inferior. Due to this, logically, very few talented people would truly marry for love.

There is no way to separate a husband and wife. Not for any reason. So, like. Idk about you, but I see a lot of ability for people to get stuck in terrible situations and have no way out. 

Speaking of terrible situations, at least 3/5 kids(ei, Tam, Linh, Keefe, Dex, Stina) have parent issues. That is a huge statistic. That is not good or healthy. What kind of parents is this society bringing up, and infecting into existence?

Hey, random thought, are kids ever emancipated? Is there any feasible way for any kid who is in a bad situation to get out of the bad situation? Is there a foster-care system? Or is it all done by word of mouth and acquaintance-ships?

The talentless are constantly treated as inferior, as well as cast out and removed from society as a whole, demoted to working class or worse due to the fact that they don’t shoot lightening bolts out of their finger tips.

There is a lot of oppression, right there. You know what else is based on a lot of oppression due to natural abilities? Red Queen. That one is full on dystopia. So. Uh. Yeah. 

The talentless live in poorer cities, and don’t have access to the best things... because they can’t be nobility. Your quality of life, or at least, your quality of clothes, is very much dependent on your social status.

Pyrokinetics? are banned? Like the whole lot of them? Were they hunted to extinction in the hopes that they would never return at one point? Or did the council just decide that basic decency was not afforded to Pyros? 

Because who on earth thought THAT was a good or smart or fun idea???? “oh, let’s like, just, yknow, ban an entire talent, because we don’t like it.” GREAT IDEA. SUPER SMART. WOW.

Twins and triplets are also treated as lesser or inferior based on something they could not control. What the frick. 

Another point, elves don’t do war. This, initially, seems like a great way to approach life. Until you realize that elves are the only specie that doesn’t do war. They will literally withdraw their support of any given species or culture based on the wars they fight. Like... uh... Idk about you, but this seems like a great way to completely isolate yourself and your culture and lose all hope you had of being good allies with anyone. 

This also means that elves could literally be attacked by any given army and have no way to fight back in violent or war-like situations, except, of course, you know, the literal terrorists.

Let’s talk about them!!! Our bois, the Black Swan and the Neverseen!!!! And they are constantly fighting each other and the council. 

The terrorist organizations are fighting for freedom from oppression, and the deliverance of elvin society from the above evils, but are constantly depicted as the bad guys. Propoganda? Perhaps.

These terrorists feel as though they have been personally wronged by the government, and have been so slighted by the government and the people in power that they are willing to go to extreme measures to prevent the government from staying in power. 

What the frick, huh? Like, why are these people not allowed to have a voice in the government, why can they do nothing but try and burn down cities and kill people, or create Sophie Elizabeth Foster and hope that maybe she’ll set the world right? I mean, something clearly must be unbalanced, there, if people need to go this far just to feel as though they are being heard.

The final element is a little scary, because, you see, every one of these things, which seem so very vibrant right now, is very very hidden. Everything that seems so dangerous is cloaked in sparkles and futuristic science that operates like magic. Everything is hidden behind closed doors, and up glorious palaces of crystal. 

Everything is perfect, there’s no reason to worry!

Unless, of course, you’re a pyrokinetic.

Unless, of course, you’re talentless.

Unless, of course, you’re in love with a bad match.

Unless, of course, you’re stuck in an abusive situation and cannot get out.

Then, of course, nothing is good, and everything around you is a reason to worry.

Anyways.

I’m sure this is all very inaccurate and a super far stretch, and there really is no reason to worry. 

After all, when has the council ever let us down before!!!!

[razzle-dazzle-13]

The Glorious Story of the Birth of Your Lord and Savior’s Heir

Or Fabian Cortez’s Adventures in Labor and Delivery.

I wrote this for my friend #thecorteztwins inspired by life at work and her amazing portrayals of Fabian Cortez and Anne Marie Cortez on the board we RP on together. Guest starring one of my OCs, Kaylee who’s an X-Man with mentions of my Rogue who is Fabian’s best frienemy and Pyro, Kay’s Brotherhoodlum boyfriend.

It’s long so please keep reading under the cut! :)

***

Ah yes, finally, finally, after nine of the longest months of his life that had been filled with pickles, ice cream, and screaming, often altogether. Usually aimed at him. If he never saw another pickle dipped in rocky road which was some horrible plebeian concoction and Fabian really didn't think he DESERVED to have had it near him, much less thrown at him, in his PONYTAIL, just because he suggested that she should perhaps NOT be teaching his SON such bad habits, because pickles were full of salt and ice cream of fat and that wasn't good for him! A growing baby needed PROTEIN.

Anyway, horrible snacks aside it was about to be the second most important day of all time.

The day Fabian Cortez became a FATHER. Passing his superior genetics into the next generation.

God he hoped the baby took after him and not Anne Marie. That would be tragic. Ugh. That would be the sort of cruel trick the universe might play on him, because through [i]no fault of his own[/i] horrible things often happened to him! Mostly because women were awful. Take Rogue, who had not only rebuffed his advances, even back before she had that little power suppressor bracelet when he had been the only man WILLING to put up with her, but even now when he offered to show her how it was done!

Her loss. Maybe he would find some women more worthy of his attentions at the hospital. Nurses often were cute and in a field like labor and delivery would probably need some reassurances from a big strong man when it got difficult. Labor was in the name. It was a lot of work to get a baby out of a belly button.

Fabian flexed at himself in the mirror and shot himself a jaunty smile. Ah yes. It was going to be a good day.

"Fabian! Are you finished packing my bag?" His wife, the love of his life, carrier of his child screamed up the steps between contractions.

Didn't this woman KNOW he was getting ready? He had to look his best when he met his son!!!  And all those nurses! Some people just had to make everything about them!

"In a minute my amor!" he shouted back down the steps, gritting his teeth. Women were hysterical at the best of times, especially when confronted with him, so he should expect her to be just a little bit unmanageable today, but he wouldn't blame her like lesser specimen of men would. She was the mother of his child after all. Even if now she had those stretch marks and was gaining weight like no one's business, he would never abandon her! Besides, he wanted twelve children so they would have to start working on the next one, maybe tomorrow. He had people like Tiffany and Brittany on speed dial, the beginnings of the harem he DESERVED for his other needs.

Fabian flexed one last time and then picked up the duffle bag, strolling down the steps in a most manly manner.

There was a small shriek from the front door.

"My amor?"

"My water broke."

He looked in horror at the puddle on the floor. "Is... is that from one of the," he lowered his voice. "Cavities?"

She gave him a look , one that was filled with disbelief due to her good fortune of getting the attentions of LORD CORTEZ, but that someone else might have described as exasperated.

"Just come on."

And then she snagged his cape from the coat hook and wrapped it around herself to soak up the mysterious liquid as she waddled to the car and Fabian could only stare in horror, unable to even form words.

***

The hormones were quite clearly making her crazy. Fabian was huddled across the room while she threw everything in reach at him, from the TV remote to the birthing ball to her phone to medical supplies, screaming with every contraction. So far this was nothing like he had expected! No one had gotten him juice or water or even a blanket! They even seemed to think HE should be walking down the hall to get HER drinks and ice chips, like he was some kind of servant! The nurse was a MAN who was clearly flirting with the love of his life, patting her shoulder, pulling her gown up over her belly to "adjust the monitor" and doing "cervical checks" whatever a cervical was, sounded fake to Fabian.

He also refused to call the baby by his correct name, Lord Fabian Cortez the Second, insisting on listening to her when she said he would be named "Malcolm". As if Fabian would let his first born be named "Malcolm", that was a sock name.

"My amor, I think I should run downstairs just for a minute, I'm feeling a bit peaked, maybe some dinner," he said as she started to throw up, afraid she might throw that at him too. He blew her a kiss as he ran from the room. Whew! Maybe the baby would be born while he was gone and she would be back to her usual self, because this was quite disgusting.

***

The couch was probably infested with all sorts of disease, but Fabian managed to fall asleep on it anyway after a hearty dinner that he had had to leave the hospital for (Fabian Cortez, cafeteria food? I think NOT!) It was a little hard with all the moaning and groaning his wife was doing. At least she had stopped throwing things. Something about the pain being too bad to lift an arm and could he give her a back massage. He had asked if she would massage.. other things.. for him if he did and she had started screaming again.

Of course someone as magnanimous as Lord Cortez didn't respond to a woman's rantings.

He slept his way right through the epidural and from five centimeters to nine when the door opening woke him up. Why hello, who was this pretty little blonde piece walking in the door? Her scrubs sort of hid her body, but her face was quite pleasing.

For some reason she spoke to his wife instead of him though.

"Good Morning!" she chirped. "I'm Kaylee, I'm going to be your nurse today! So we're about to have a birthday party, yeah?"

"We better," his wife said through gritted teeth.

"Does the baby have a name?"

"Mal-"

"LORD FABIAN CORTEZ THE SECOND!" He popped up from the couch and shot the girl a winning, come hither smile. She was so love struck by him that she just stared at him for a second. "I'm the first, of course," he clarified. "Lord Fabian Cortez, at your service." Really she would be at HIS service soon enough.

"Umm and who do you have with you today?"

"My husband," she said with a death glare at him. He preened.

"Right. So. Yeah. I'm going to get everything set up for baby Mal-"

"Malcom."

"Yeah. Be right back." And she scurried out of the room. Poor girl. So taken by him that she couldn't  even stay in the same room!

Luckily for him, Fabian didn't hear the rest of Kaylee's conversation with Matt, the night nurse.

"Oh yeah the father's a piece of work, disappeared for hours and slept through all of active labor. One of those. Ten bucks says he passes out when the baby is born."

"Matt what  kind of sucker do you take me for, why would I bet against a certainty?" she said tossing her head and going to eat a doughnut to fortify herself. It was going to be one of those days.

***

Fabian went to get breakfast, but whipped his phone out and answered as soon as it rang. "Hello?"

"Hey, it's Kaylee. Your wife's nurse."

Ah yes, she couldn't even go five minutes without seeing his face. Poor girl was smitten. Perhaps she wouldn't be busy tonight and he could show her a good time.

"Ah yes, Kaylee, of course what can I do for you?" he purred. "By the way I know this great restaurant, just a few blocks away. Perhaps you will allow me to treat you to it after the baby comes?"

"Umm no thanks. Well we're about to start pushing. So you should probably come back."

"TELL HIM IF HE DOESN'T GET HIS ASS UP HERE NOW I WILL KILL HIM!" shouted the love of his life in the background. God. She just couldn't stand that he was talking to another woman he thought to himself, even as he posed for the benefit of the ladies at the cafe.

"Pushing? Pushing what?"

There was silence for a minute. "The baby."

"Why are you pushing my son?" he asked, so horrified he stopped posing. "That's so rude! I demand to speak to your supervisor!"

"Do... do you understand how this works?" she asked.

"Yes, I talk to your supervisor and he stops this madness!" Fabian started running for the elevator to save his son.

Upstairs Kaylee hung up the phone and looked at her patient. "You guys didn't do a childbirth class, did you?"

"Oh we did," she said through gritted teeth. "He just wasn't paying attention. He has the attention span of a hyperactive three year old on a sugar high. Unless boobs are involved. He was all about the breastfeeding."

"I don't get paid enough for this," Kaylee muttered.

"Same."

***

Fabian burst into the room to save his son and was greeted with a horrific scene. First, of all there was blood on the bed coming from the baby cavity. Second, there was a table full of scissors and other sharp looking torture devices that could have come from one of Creed's videos in the room. Third, the love of his life had her legs up in the air and all her bits just exposed, while the cute, but psycho nurse counted to ten and made her hold her breath.

"My amor!" he cried rushing to her side. "What is this?!"

"Shut up and hold my leg."

He looked at her in horror. "I think I'll just wait up here, yes, where it's safe." He patted her hair gingerly and took a big step back. "Is my son here yet? Has this harlot tried to push him?" he glared at Kaylee who was moving the monitor around looking for the baby's heart rate, but in Fabian's mind was just proving the reason she wasn't falling down at his feet, she was one of those women who preferred the company of women, clearly since she was pulling the same tricks as that lesser specimen of male last night, trying to seduce his wife with her fake cervical!

"You apologize," his wife said through gritted teeth. "I have to push the baby out idiot."

He would forgive her for that, she was clearly delusional right now. Well women were the weaker sex, he wasn't surprised that all of this was upsetting her. He looked at Kaylee anyway, waiting for his apology, but then a new smell hit his nostrils and distracted him.

Was.. was that FECES?

He thought he might faint.

***

Fabian was getting bored with this. It had been two hours! Kaylee wasn't even wearing a short skirt and low cut shirt and when he had asked her for some refreshments she had just glared at him. Didn't these people know who he was? He was going to be complaining, especially since her so called supervisor was just another scrub wearing woman "charge nurse" who had run in when the monitor started going slowly, saying something about the baby's heart rate and helping turn his wife,then going out to call for the doctor and a vacuum. Women! Always cleaning! At least she knew tidying up was her place. She wasn't completely hideous and he would need someone handy in the harem, he resolved to get her number when she was done cleaning.

"His heart rate came back up so that's good, but he's not coming down in your pelvis as fast as we'd like,"  Kaylee was explaining to his wife when Fabian tuned back in. "I think he has a big head."

"Well we know where he gets that from," she replied, shooting Fabian another look. He missed it. He was scrolling on his phone looking for a replacement cape.

***

"I can see Malcolm's head every time you push,"  Kaylee said. "You're almost there! Dad do you want to see?"

"Why is his head down there?" Fabian asked as he leaned over despite his reservations, then gasped in HORROR. "BUT, BUT, DOESN'T HE COME OUT THE BELLY BUTTON? WHAT KIND OF ORGANIZATION ARE YOU PEOPLE RUNNING? I DEMAND A REAL MANAGER! A MAN!"

He was still exclaiming when the doctors and charge nurse ran in (without a vacuum, apparently she did not know how to clean after all since she was handing the doctor a suction cup) and shuffled him to the side. One of them practically knocked him down at one point, shouting about shoulders disaster or something, Fabian was too busy screaming at the sight of a head emerging like some kind of alien from one of his wife's cavities, he couldn't tell which, and then the nurse VAULTED onto the bed to try to kill his or seduce his wife, shoving her fists into her stomach.

Fabian would have protested if he could stop shrieking wordlessly (later he would say he was the one who heroically SAVED both his wife and son when the female nurses and doctors ran around cleaning the room while she bled out). Finally the entire baby came out, slimy and bloody and DISGUSTING and there was a loud thump from the other side of the bed, ignored by Kaylee as she jumped off the bed to start resuscitating Malcolm.

If only Fabian had been a little nicer she might have made sure when he passed out he landed on the couch, but it wasn't to be.

***

When Fabian came to everything was calm. Ah yes. He must have taken a nap. He had to see his son, he was sure that whole thing had just been a very bad nightmare.

His wife was sleeping peacefully and there was Anne Marie, the big idiot, crooning to a bundle wrapped in a cow patterned blanket. Hideous.

"Oh hi Fabian! The nurse said you'd wake up eventually. She's super nice isn't she? We're going to hang out sometime! She asked if we wanted to take you down to the emergency room, but I said no, you do this all the time you'd be fine." She beamed. "Isn't Malcolm so cute? I filled out his birth certificate for you and guess what? Kaylee sent it right away! She said no take backs once it's sent and Malcolm is such a great name!"

"NO!" He staggered off the floor and to the baby. "MY POOR BOY! LORD FABIAN CORTEZ THE SECOND! CURSED WITH THAT NAME?!"

Malcolm woke up. Took one look at Fabian. And started screaming.

"Me too," Anne Marie said.

"What?"

"Oh he just thinks you're too much. And you know you packed that whole bag full of your clothes right? She's really mad that you didn't bring any of her stuff. Or Mal's. I had to get him this cute blanket!"

Fabian howled with the indignity.

***

In the locker room Kaylee couldn't stop laughing as she and the rest of the nurses relived the day. All was well that ended well and baby and mom were both fine and the floor had an amazing story to tell on bad days. She flipped her phone and dialed a number.

"John you're not going to believe what happened today-" she said, then had to stop talking as one of the nurses reenacted Fabian fainting. It was going to take her a minute to stop laughing long enough to catch her breath and tell her boyfriend the rest of the story.

[hr]

OB nurses monitor the baby's heart rate all through labor, turning the mom is the first intervention if it's decelerating in a bad way or the baby isn't recovering on their own. We spend a lot of time chasing the baby with the ultrasound and the contractions with the TOCO.

Yes sometimes you really DO push for four hours as a first time mom after you labored for a couple days and some dads really do sleep through it all and wander off for hours for food when mom can't eat or can only have clear liquids.

Vacuum assisted deliveries with the Kiwi are a thing, but not the kind of vacuum Fabian is thinking of.

Shoulder dystocias (AKA Disasters) are an OB emergency where the baby's head is out, but his or her shoulders get stuck. Yes, I have half tackled family or students to get them out of the way to deal with it IRL. The first maneuver to try to get them loose includes mom's legs way back and suprapubic pressure to pop the shoulder free-which can mean jumping onto the bed if you're short and don't have a step up handy.