#Real Life with Risa

[whileyoureinschoolidothisallday]

I feel moved to do this so I’m gonna

I can only speak for the US, but if you think covid isn’t a big deal anymore you are being lied to. on multiple levels.

First and most important, covid is airborne. It was always airborne. This is a well-established fact in the medical community and has been for awhile. What this means is that, in indoor spaces and crowded outdoor spaces, it is chilling in the air and you are inhaling it with every breath you take. The more virus you inhale, the sicker you will be. The gov knows it, the cdc knows it, everyone knows it. Nobody wants to say this to avoid accountability that they fucked up the initial response with a focus on droplets, and they don’t want “panic”. Plus it will obviously cost them more.

herd immunity was never, and is not going to be, a thing with this virus

You can and will get reinfected. And with every infection, you’re at higher risk of severe disease and organ damage, including your brain.

Two very large studies on Long Covid have recently come out, and in summary, it is very real and you don’t want this shit. It’s estimated that 1 in 5 infected people will get it and there is no cure yet. Even if we find one, organ and brain damage is not reversible.

covid is causing an increase in brain disorders

this is an LA emergency room today as of August 27 2022 It’s like this all over as you can see in the comments.

children are at significantly higher risk for covid complications

masking doesn’t hurt kids’ speech development

earloop masks don’t do shit to protect you at this point and this is well established in the medical community. It’s N95 or higher or you have very little protection. Any mask is better than no mask. If you have absolutely no choice but to use ear looped masks, a mask brace helps significantly

you can get a p100, a mask with even higher filtration than n95, on amazon for $30. This is the one I bought. Here are more p100 and elastomeric masks you can buy safely

here is an indepth video on how to perform a DIY fit test at home using instructions from the US Army. You should be doing this with every mask you have (if you’re curious as to why federal mask mandates were never enforced or even discussed, it’s because federal law mandates that companies have to fit test every employee if masks are required for airborne protection and they can’t/don’t want to figure out how to work around this for the general public. You need to fit test for a mask to work accurately.)

one of the key components to actually returning life to normal for everyone, including the disabled, is air filtration. The Corsi-Rosenthal Box is a cheap, open source air filter that’s on par with more expensive filtration systems. At it’s best, it reduces 80% of the covid inhalation dose, which is the equivalent of a group of people all wearing decent quality, fitting masks. This not only helps against covid, but also reduces exposure to other respiratory illnesses and even allergies! People all over the country are making these and donating them to schools, businesses, people in need, etc. Here’s a video on how to make one yourself and I highly recommend you do if you can. If you don’t like masks for whatever reason, this is how we get rid of them

here is an awesome thread about traveling during covid

If you’d like reviews on various types of masks and if they pass fit tests, this is the guy you wanna follow

if you’re looking for graphs and charts and statistics, you wanna follow this account

if you wanna know more about air filtration, literally everyone in the medical community worth their salt is constantly screaming about it on twitter, but I recommend following this guy

and if you want accurate information about covid, then you should follow one of the first whistleblowers for the disease. He’s been right about everything so far, and he’s also posting accurately about monkeypox

NOW HOW ABOUT A FEW GOOD THINGS??????

a very promising prophylactic for covid, called Evusheld, exists and has been authorized for emergency use in the US. If you are immunocompromised, over the age of 12, and 88+ pounds, please harass your GPD and pharmacy to give it to you!!!! It is actively being suppressed and the us gov isn’t buying supply, so most medical professionals don’t know it exists and will fight you about it. Even if you aren’t in the US, it’s available in over 100 countries!!!!!

Novavax is a new and very promising vaccine that would be effective for emerging variants, and it’s working better than the current vaccines to prevent infection. But, again, the US is refusing to buy supply and the FDA is dragging their feet because the current administration is pfizer’s bitch :)

also, in general, I know it sounds scary that covid is airborne, but we have a lot of airborne diseases, and we know how to fight them. They aren’t magic. We can and do manage them all the time. It’s just that for some reason (capitalism), we’ve decided not to this time.

but the information is still available. We don’t have to lie down and let this thing destroy our communities and isolate our disabled and vulnerable neighbors. We have the ability, at any time, to end this shit for real and make our local communities safer, with or without the gov’s help.

we just have to do it.

[dnangelic]

sits. every once in a while i think about how for the most part dark is erik up until risa starts getting tossed into the mix. during the azumanoland date arc it's daisuke who ends up stuck in the position of erik/the phantom instead, listening to risa's pure love for dark. it's the first real ominous signal of what could happen to dai considering just a few more books later, daisuke's own family starts talking about what might happen if dark were to be chosen instead of his host; the way that dai could potentially disappear. no fancy meta tbh i just see what sugisaki did and it haunts me. why are you torturing my boy by giving him the all i ask of you head clutch under apollo's lyre??

[asksythe]

MXTX Interview with Risa Wataya for Subaru Magazine P.5

Character's Allure

Risa: Among the cast, my favorites are the Nie brothers. Nie Huaissang and Nie Mingjue. As I read, I constantly prayed that Nie Shi (House Nie) would not fall. 

Mo Xiang: Shocking! I have yet to see this kind of attitude toward the Nie brothers. In the place of Nie brothers, I deeply thank Risa! Nie Mingjue was created as a foil and reversed mirror image of the 'extremely socially adept' Jin Guangyao. Nie Mingjue is someone who would rather break but never bend. Jin Guangyao is someone who would rather bend but never break. One embodies unbendable justice. One is a cunning smooth operator. I thought about these two contrasting and contradicting kinds of characters and then created them (Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao). A cunning faker (*) like Jin Guangyao, once he meets a 'violent god' (**) Nie Mingjue would become absolutely powerless and can only flee. Their situation would be quite interesting should I continue to write it. Although for them, it definitely would not be a fun time. 

(*: 狡猾 jiaohua: someone who is pretty/righteous on the outside but rotten inside, a faker, a pretty snake masquerading as a saint) 

(**: 凶神恶煞 xioengshen esha: a powerful, brutal, violent god that is consumed by the slaying of evil so much he starts to do evil himself. Someone who should be good but is consumed by rage and violence and becomes no better than the evil he seeks to destroy)

Risa: Nie Huaissang is extremely smart. Nie Mingjue still acts even though his body has been split into multiple pieces. I absolutely love these brothers' opposing approaches to life. 

Moxiang: The more the character personalities contrast with each other, the clearer their conflict and transformation is portrayed. It also makes the story even more compelling and exciting. Nie Huaissang was built on the foundation of Nie Mingjue as a character. They both use sabers as their weapons. Nie Mingjue is more or less straightforward inside and out. Nie Huaissang, on the other hand, looks weak and cowardly on the outside but is actually immensely insightful, patient, and crafty on the inside. The characters of Qinghe Nie Shi were actually complete quite early into the writing. 

Risa: The characters of "Mo Dao Zu Shi" mature into different kinds of people depending on their relationship with their parents. In terms of lineage and family ties, what were your thoughts while writing? 

Moxiang: I think the environment a person grows up in is a very important factor. The parent generation's joy and sorrow will create an increasingly greater impact on their children. Furthermore, children will inherit specific things from their parents. Only when you look at the profound yet incidental similarities between parents and children, you will see that family ties are something very real. 

Risa: Some characters in the book had a very difficult childhood. Jin Guangyao, Xue Yang, and Wei Wuxian. One type of character experiences misfortune in their childhood and then grow to become bad people. One character, on the other hand, steadfastly holds onto his good heart no matter what. Both types exist in the same book. 

Moxiang: To be honest, the character's childhood was the last thing I considered. My creative method starts with imagining the zenith of a character's life when they are shining brightly at the summit. Then I think about narrative developments leading to and from that moment, and then the character's childhood as the finishing touch. After that, I fill out details on their parent generation. The parents mostly act as supporting characters. Their designs are based on the main cast, to contrast or to complete. 

For example, first, I think of what kind of person Wei Wuxian is. Then, I think of what kind of parents could have such a child. I base his parent's characters on his character. 

Looking at it from within the story, it's that parents will inevitably influence their children. But from a structural writing standpoint, it's the children that influence the parents.        

To be continued (We are about... half-way through the interview transcript)

Translator: Sythe / NPD Khanh

[stillgotme]

Been pretty quiet the past month and I don't know if there's really anyone that's still stuck around to see what I do next, but I'm still here! And the reason I haven't been posting as much is because I've been planning and I’m here to make some quick announcements for how 2024’s gonna go on this blog moving forward.

First things first....Karaoke Secrets is going on hiatus and this was what I was embarrassed to say because this story has barely taken off yet I’ve already had two big gaps in between posts and we still haven’t gotten anywhere. Oof. 

I admit, I kinda went overboard with adding a third story when I haven’t even finished the other two. Not to mention, because this one was more driven by fun and me needing a break from my usual stuff, I’ve faced the realization that this story isn’t as developed. It’s why I unfortunately hit a creative wall with it and along with the struggle of trying to do 3 stories at once, my inspo just isn’t with it at the moment. 

Don’t get me wrong, though, I still very much love this story! But I gotta really sit down and figure out an outline for it. I do prefer some sort of structure and I don’t have the full structure yet, so it’s best to put this thing to halt and see what I really want to do with it. Maybe one day when I’ve gotten the inspiration again and I’ve tightened some rough spots, then I can come back to it. For now, it’s on a break. And don’t worry, you will still see Risa and Akira every once in a while when I do some edits. I hope you understand.

BUT NOW THE GOOD NEWS:

AFTER FOUR LONG YEARS, REDEMPTION IS FINALLY MAKING A RETURN. Now, despite my lack of storytelling since the pandemic, I’m letting you all know that in the background I never actually stopped writing. I was still going over scenes for this story, writing dialogue, even going back to old scenes and writing in depth prose for them to get more in touch with my characters. 

This story is so dear to me and the inspiration has called me for the past few months. And thanks to the lovely people in the writing discord I’ve joined, that storytelling spark has finally come back. What held me back was the worry over Karaoke Secrets, but I needed to stop forcing myself to treat this like a job and follow my inspo. 

So we’re picking up where we left off. To new and old readers, I will do a summary post that tells you the story so far. I understand not everyone has the time to sit down and read and you are in no way obligated to do that so you’ll have the option to get a recap. That way we’re all on the same page by the time the story returns. And if you do wanna read from the beginning, be my guest!

Thank you to everyone that’s taken the time to read this and stick around. I understand I’ve been so messy with storytelling lately because of real life, but it really feels different now. I’m genuinely excited to get back to telling this story that’s been in my head since 2018 and hope you’ll join me in this crazy journey (again). And shoutout to the writing group for giving me the motivation. It may not have seemed like much, but your support has led me to fully get my storytelling back out there. 

I love you all 💖

[stereotypcs]

𓏲  *   ⸺   pictures of narisa fah narong,  the  thirty-three  year  old  heiress & vogue editor-in-chief,  have been showing up all over my feed, and considering the last time they were #trending, it was due to a former employee claiming that the editor is more like a real life miranda priestly than her image suggests — i’m not likely to unfollow anytime soon. with their custom designed chanel dress , towering stilettos , and flawless make-up with her signature pink lip, they’ve managed to garner a reputation for being more vivacious than obstinate. their critics say that they’re more critical than ingenious when they aren’t too busy focusing on their stilettos clicking against the marble floor , announcing your arrival and calling all to attention before you enter the room ; how honey and wildfire are both the color gold , and a flower's thorns do not negate its sweetness ; eyes constantly fixated on the top of the next mountain to be climbed as she builds her empire ; smiles that blossom after leaving the office behind , liquid sunshine rushing to refill your veins ; one day your name will be beside the goddesses no one could ever fully understand. reputation.com has taken to calling them the people's princess in order to avoid a lawsuit ( again ).

basic information.

full name: narisa fah narong. nickname(s): risa , riri ( close friends only ). age: thirty-three. date of birth: august 19th. birthplace: bangkok , thailand. astrological sign: leo. gender & pronouns: cis woman , she / her. orientation: biromantic , bisexual. languages: thai , english , french , italian , mandarin , korean , some german & russian. occupation: heiress of the narong group , a multinational conglomerate in the hospitality and travel industries. socialite. editor-in-chief of vogue.

personality.

positive: vivacious ,  ingenious ,  sociable , ambitious ,  eloquent , confident , captivating. negative: critical ,  obstinate ,  perfectionist , blunt , impatient , dogmatic. moral alignment: neutral good. temperament: sanguine. mbti: estp - the entrepreneur. enneagram: 3w2 , the enchanter.

family ties.

father: somchai narong , ceo & chairman of the narong group. mother: esme thomas , french actress & model. siblings: three half-siblings - two from her father's second marriage , one from his third marriage. family financial status: high upper class. pets: teddy , a male cavapoo , and gigi , a female pomeranian.

the narong name first made its mark all the way back in the 1870s when the family built one of the first luxury hotels in thailand. what began as a single magnificent hotel soon expanded not only in numbers but in reach; the narongs established equally as magnificent hotels across asia, and as more years passed, they expanded in europe and then north america. anyone who was anyone stayed at the barong hotels, and the hefty price tag kept hotel doors closed to nobodies, allowing the family to not only grow their wealth but also their connections, rubbing elbows with influential figures from politicians to prominent businessmen to celebrities from all across the globe. in the past fifty years, the empire extended into the tourism world, offering luxury travel experiences to all areas of the world and most recently, acquiring and launching their own cruise line.

by the time narisa was born, the family was practically considered royalty without a crown. a staple in high society with a polished reputation, particularly in thanks to their many charitable works. narisa was the eldest of the next generation of narongs, the unofficial future crown princess once her father took over the keys to the kingdom. growing up, she wanted for nothing. not even the divorce of her parents ( love burning out as quickly as it'd blossomed ) altered her way of life - all that changed was now her summers were spent in paris, her mother's home, rather than whatever city her father was currently staying in.

initially there was no denying that narisa was her father's favorite child, his pride and joy, but then a change occurred. expectations began rising higher and higher. suddenly her father began wondering if tradition should truly be upheld - why shouldn't the company go to the best suited? he'd muse, the implication that it might not be the eldest never directly spoken but clearly implied, particularly as similar expectation were being placed on risa's half-sibling. so narisa worked harder. she pushed herself to be better, to shine brighter, to never misstep. she worked tirelessly to balance her school grades with getting involved in the family business and building her own public reputation so there could be no question that she w as the right person to be the next ceo of the narong group.

narisa's time living in paris with her mother also inspired a love for fashion. her mother tried getting her into modeling but walking the runway was never risa's cup of tea. she was far more interested in studying the designs and reading the latest fashion magazine, recognizing the artistry in both. her mother's connections enabled her to get an internship at a elle magazine in paris. it was there that she saw an fashion editor at work, and her aspiration was set in stone.

fashion wasn't a back-up plan. when a few interviewers asked that, she had shaken her head with a smile and soft laugh. what better way to prove to her father that she was deserving of being the heiress than proving herself in another industry? besides, she was narisa narong, if anyone could rule two kingdoms it was her.

she used her mother's connections to land a role as an editor at vogue france straight out of college but quickly put her own money where her nepotism perks were. she worked tirelessly to deliver the best work, often restarting or even discarding entire projects if it no longer met her standards, and constantly searching for ways to improve the magazine. promotions were quickly granted; success motivated her more. it was during her time as managing editor in paris that the initial seeds of her contradictory demeanor were planted. anyone who met narisa outside fo work would be greeted by a jovial, charming young woman, leaving no question as to how she'd become beloved by the public . . . so why did some people who worked for her whisper about a strict, overbearing boss who accepted nothing short of perfection?

the whispers, initially limited to remaining within company walls, might've quieted if they didn't follow her to new york when she became managing editor there. two years later, when she became editor-in-chief, they grew louder. but it didn't impact narisa's continued success. her work and leadership at vogue was met with high praise, numerous people recognizing her keen eye and passion, and many of her ideas credited with giving the magazine a fresh feel, ensuring it kept up with changing trends and setting new ones.

a year before becoming editor-in-chief, at her thirtieth birthday celebration, her father announced that he'd finally made his decision, and narisa was officially declared the family's heiress, ending the near two decade long speculation. the news was released to the media the next day. since then, risa balanced her work at vogue with taking a larger, active role at the narong group, primarily at their new york headquarters helping oversee their north and south american properties, proving that she could not only handle but succeed at both. one day she would fill her father's shoes but until he was ready to step back, which seemed a longtime away, she continued living her life as she had all along.

headcanons.

narisa at work and narisa away from work are two very different people. the perfectionism her father instilled in her through his endlessly rising expectations and criticizing even the smallest mistakes causes her to expect that from not only herself but those around her at work. she has little tolerance for her standards not being met and won't hesitate to correct her employees or voice her discontent. failure, in her eyes, isn't an option. but if someone succeeds, she won't hesitate to commend them. away from the office, she truly comes alive, revealing a more cheerful and jovial young woman with a big heart who loves to have fun, hang out with friends, and relishes in the spotlight.

initially, her work demeanor was contained in the fashion industry but recently reports have slipped into the wider public sphere. making some question if the image she portrays to the public is sincere.

due to the narong family's prominence, risa has been in the spotlight for as long as she can remember, attending functions with her family while growing up and eventually being invited to high society events on her own. she loves making public appearances. if there's an event or party, risa is sure to make an appearance.

utterly adored by the public - one would almost think she is royalty. it was the media who first called her "princess narong" and the monikor has stuck every since.

suffice to say her social media following is massive, and risa is very active on it. also has a social media account for her two dogs.

more than a little vain. she refuses to step outside the house if even a hair is out of place. is constantly dressed up. she'll wear more casual clothes at home but the minute she steps out into public, she'd dressed fashionably.

the narong family prides themselves on their mostly positive image so narisa is fairly image conscious. in her eyes, bad press is indeed bad. thus, she can be selective with who she allows in her circle of friends

home life wasn't always the most peaceful while she was growing up. her parents divorced when she was too young to remember any of the fights, but she was there to witness the downfall of her father's second and third marriages. her father wasn't the perfect husband or father by any means. never violent or unfaithful, but very strict and unforgiving. the narong patriarch has, thankfully in risa's eyes, remained single since his third divorce despite dating around.

despite that, narisa still admires her father. hasn't fully accepted that the competition he encouraged between her and her half-sibling wasn't right and instead believes it was done to make her stronger, which. in her eyes, it did.

part of the reason her reputation has remained so positive is her continued dedication to partaking in charitable works. she's genuinely passionate about making a difference in the world by helping people through the narong group's charitable wing. and if the press notices well, there's nothing wrong about that.

[alastairstom]

Hello!

Welcome to my TSC blog, a place where I cause shenanigans and (mainly) post fanfiction! I mainly write about Thomastair, Wessa, Jordelia and my much-beloved Matthew Fairchild because that's where my interests largely lie.

My fics, published as thegirlofthorns on Ao3:

Alastair/Thomas

Dreamscapes on the Wall (multichapter, complete)

The Golden Age of Something Good & Right & Real (multichapter, complete)

A Ribbon of Dream (multichapter, complete)

Flying in a Dream, Stars by the Pocketful (Christmas multichapter, complete)

The Rest of My Life With Him (one-shot)

A Dazzling Haze, A Mysterious Way About You (one-shot)

The Diaries of Sir Thomas Lightwood, Age Fourteen (one-shot)

Part-Time Soulmate, Full-Time Problem (one-shot)

Passed Down Like Folk Songs (The Love Lasts So Long) (one-shot)

I'm a Fire and I'll Keep Your Brittle Heart Warm (18+, one-shot)

Moonlight Sonata and I (gift for @luciehercndale)

Days Future: Paris, 1912 (one-shot)

all of you, all of me (intertwined) (gift for @alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer)

The Stars Are Aligned (So Save That Heart for Me) (one-shot reincarnation AU)

I Had the Best Day (With You, Today) (Thomastair & Gracetopher, oneshot)

The Surprise (one-shot)

Baby You Got Lucky 'Cause You're Rockin' With the Best (18+, one-shot)

The Crown You Never Take Off (one-shot gift for @thevagabondexpress)

Twenty Minutes (18+, one-shot)

like a candle you burnt out (one-shot)

Kaleidoscope of Loud Heartbeats Under Coats (one-shot)

Connecting the Tide to the Sand That Was Dry (one-shot gift for @vwritesaus)

The Together, We'll Learn to Breathe Series (about Thomas and Alastair healing together) // can be read in any order

A Therapeutic Chain of Events (multichapter, complete)

You Drew Stars Around My Scars (one-shot)

a dwindling mercurial high (multichapter, complete, past Charles/Alastair)

Closets of Backlogged Dreams (multichapter, on hiatus)

Bloodsucker, Famefucker (one-shot)

Every Tear's a Rain Parade From Hell (one-shot)

Will/Tessa

When Our Eyes Meet, Darling, I Fancy You (multichapter, complete)

The Howling Wind (18+, one-shot)

Have I Known You Twenty Seconds or Twenty Years? (one-shot)

A Tale of a Great Behemoth (one-shot)

Leaves, Cider Donuts, and William Herondale (one-shot)

This Life Is Sweeter Than Fiction (one-shot college AU)

my hips & thighs & my whispered sighs (oh lord) (18+, one-shot)

'Sentimental Boy' Is My Nom de Plume (one-shot)

Christmas on the Balcony (18+, one-shot)

Matthew

The Name We Give Our Mistakes -> Character study (multichapter, complete)

Summer Went Away (Still the Yearning Stays) -> Matthew + family (multichapter, complete)

The Cheap Severity of Abstract Ethics -> Matthew & Alastair + Thomas/Alastair (multichapter, complete)

Forces & Flowers -> Matthew & Anna (one-shot)

This Beautiful Beast -> Matthew & Oscar feat. Thomas/Alastair + Kit (one-shot)

across our great divide, there is a glorious sunrise -> Character study (one-shot)

A Combination of Shock and Awe -> Matthew & Charles feat. Will (one-shot)

The Importance of Being... -> Matthew + Thomas/Alastair

The Matthew and Alastair: Burying the Hatchet series (about Matthew and Alastair having important conversations shortly after ChoT) // can be read in any order

Prices and Vices (I End Up in Crisis) -> Matthew & Alastair (one-shot)

Your Flower's Filled With Vitriol -> Matthew & Alastair (one-shot)

In the Gutter, Looking at the Stars -> Matthew & Alastair (one-shot)

The Matthew Fairchild: An Expert in Romantics Series // can be read in any order

Life is Not Complex (We Are Complex) -> Matthew + Eugenia/OC feat. Thomas/Alastair (one-shot)

For One Moment, Our Lives Met (Our Souls Touched) -> Matthew, Magnus, + Ragnor/Catarina (gift for @themimsyborogove

Fashion is Ephemeral (Art Is Eternal) -> Matthew + Thomas/Alastair (one-shot)

The Moon in Her Chariot of Pearl -> Matthew + Will/Tessa (one-shot)

A Little Sincerity (A Dangerous Thing) -> Matthew + Risa/OC feat. Alastair

James/Cordelia

It's a Love Story (Baby, Just Say Yes) (one-shot)

I Can See You (Up Against a Wall With Me) (one-shot gift for @furoruisa)

Privacy Sign on the Whole World (one-shot)

Other

Taffy Stuck & Tongue Tied -> Grace & Alastair (one-shot)

Empty Bottles, Heavy Hearts, the Memories of Broken Dreams -> Thomas character study (one-shot)

I Never Said That (I Love You) -> Catarina/Ragnor (one-shot)

Blazed Glory -> TLH ensemble shenanigans (one-shot)

the nature of love -> a poem (one-shot)

Carol of the Bells: A Winter-Themed Drabble Collection

You also will likely find a lot of Taylor Swift content here. I also post sometimes about KJ Charles' books, especially the Charm of Magpies series. Our Flag Means Death, How I Met Your Mother, The Office, Never Have I Ever, Good Omens, and Crazy Ex Girlfriend will also pop up frequently.

Thanks for reading! If you like my fics and want to support me, do consider getting me a Ko-Fi. Literally no pressure, I write for fun, but it'd be cool!

[lazysailor]

Some stuff in Unsould I feel like talking about, these aren't in any particular order btw

Spoilers below for obvious reasons

How did society Unwind just decide to farm ostriches of all things? Like there's so many other animals but there like "Lets farm ostriches!".

Lev was a bit boring in this book in my opinion, I felt like Unwholly was like his time to shine but this book just ehh for his character.

I didn't really get that attached to any of the characters introduced at the reservation, most likely because I didn't read Unstrung before hand sooo. Una was a bit interesting tho.

Gotta love Argent for just making Nelson go on a whole road trip just for the sake of it, like ngl I would do that too if given the chance.

Reading the stork brigade chapters was so fun and interesting, probably because I'm making a time line out of that, but still. It's also interesting to see the different perspectives on Starkeys actions. Like Bam was basically supportive most of the time except towards the end when she found out about Starkeys lil baby making group and after the moon crater incident. And Hayden just didn't like Starkey at all which is honestly real if I was in his situation.

I forgot Risa existed for a bit towards the end because my mind was so focused on other stuff in the story, sorry to any Risa fans!

Loved Cyfi's return in this book and we get to see what his life has been since the end of Unwind!

Ngl I forgot Hannah and Didi existed and was surprised when they came back towards the end.

Speaking of Didi I loved that short scene were Connor and Didi played together. Probably one of the very few happy moments in this book.

Loved Cams idea of taking down the proactive citizenry, like he was able to trick Roberta to thinking he was just some spoiled celebrity so she wouldn't think that much of him.

I loved how almost everyone besides Grace (and maybe Lev idk tho) had beef with Cam. Like Connor just hated this guy and Una was holding him hostage, along with Sonia just having immediate beef with him.

I love Grace, she's probably one of the few relatable characters in this series I can relate too!

I don't know why but the five people hanged at the Moon Crater Harvest Camp reminded me of The Goldens from the first book in someway. Because they were both in an establishment that lots of people hate, got there lives taken away by people working for clappers, and we're killed in cruel ways. I just made that connection somehow lol.

I was kinda interested by the Sonia and Jason chapters (I don't feel like attempting to write there last name). Like through the whole book in each beginning part you just see Jasons life fall apart because people were using his idea (unwinding) in a negative way. I'm also really interested in seeing how the organ printer will come into play in the next book!

[lumilasi]

Another redesign done, took me a week to figure hers out. I wanted to make her non-japanese in her human life, because all the other moth spirits currently are....purely because I really didn't want to change their names lol, but Mari was a different case.

I honestly like her new design more than the old one, not that the old one was bad.

more info below:

Name: Marisa Marisol-Raye

Nicknames: Risa/Mari-junior/junior (her moms) firecracker/hun/Mari (Gianna)

Age: 21

Height: 155 cm

Friends: She does like hanging out with her GF's brother and his friends as sort of a "big sis" figure. She's also made friends with Max Karuna, a member of a popular rock band, as Marisa has helped working on their stage shows.

Family: adoptive moms Marci Raye and Mariella Marisol

Love interest: Gianna Aquila, a young designer student in the same uni (A siren)

TREE LORE

Moth spirits are human souls reborn in new form through what is called a Hive Tree. There used to be 7 of those, but after the Ancient War only 3 are left. Each tree attracts slightly different types of souls with unfinished business:

Amethyst Wisteria:  A purple tree which reminds a massive Wisteria tree in appearance, the spirits manifested by this one are typically those who were in some way significant people in their community, dying unexpectedly. Leaders, warriors, freedom fighters, etc.

Emerald Weeping Willow: A green tree similar in likeness to Weeping Willows, only again much more massive. Souls born from this tree were those with tragic, darker sudden deaths. These souls were typically killed by someone in a non-war setting (I.E victims of crime) or they died of self-inflicted injuries caused by mental distress of some sort.

Blue Lapiz Spruce: A large tree in likeness of blue spruce. The souls that this tree attracts are typically those who died in a freak accident or natural disasters. This tree tends to birth a lot of child moth spirits, given it is more likely for a child to die of a freak accident/natural disaster than be of a level of importance/die due to crime. (Marisa naturally came from this tree)

Powers:

Moth Spirit abilities: Speedy flight, butterfly poofing like a vampire, spitting webbing, fireproof wings, pocket dimension to store stuff in, de-manifesting her wings if needed.

Fire protection spell: While her wings are fireproof, she needs more, well, proofing than that, and has learned spells to coat her whole body and/or her tools to prevent them from being damaged by potential fires from her work.

Engineering Intelligence: She is studying for an engineer for a reason; Marisa has always been good at learning new things and understanding the fundamentals of how things work, both on the magical side and the physical side.

Weaknesses:

Marisa can be a tad reckless and push the boundary of what might be the smart approach to her tinkering, resulting in explosions and unnecessary messes.

She is socially a little awkward and doesn't always know how to act in crowds, which often means she'll just tag along her girlfriend during any bigger celebratory events, unless she finds people who are more her vibe, typically those who are up to shenanigans.

Marisa has a fear of the ocean and doesn't like being in large bodies of water; when younger it was even difficult to get her to bathe at first, but by now its only large bodies of water that bother her.

Personality:

Marisa is very positive and enthusiastic person with never-ending curiosity. She loves trying out new things and testing her hypothesis, whenever it is about her inventions or whenever a flavor combo for food works or not.

While you wouldn't think of it at first glance, Marisa absolutely loves fashion too and enjoys trying out all sorts of different looks and outfits, the only real rule that she follows being "colorful" pretty much.

Due to her social awkwardness, she is sometimes self conscious and wonders if she's being too much, apologizing a lot if she feels she's talking too much for example. She also tends to want to avoid big gatherings of people, unless she gets to actually work with something. Marisa also has the tendency to dwell in any awkward conversations she's had with people for days.

FUN FACTS

She was taken in by Marci, who happened to be visiting the Blue Spruce area given she is acquainted with the wife of one of the guardians of the tree. She came to stay there for a while to try and recover from a traumatic incident that led her quitting her earlier dangerous job.

At first she felt hesitant adopting the kid, but during her stay it became clear Marisa had already chosen her as her new parent, so she decided to at least try.

They met Mariella two years later, and Marisa "shipped" them from the start, as she could tell instantly the two liked each other, and Marisa liked Mariella.

Marisa was from Mexico when she was a human, and died due to drowning at sea, potentially because she accidentally fell off a boat during a storm. (had there been any foul play, she would've been born a green moth)

Her name meaning "of the sea" refers to her manner of death as is typical for Moth spirits.

She likely died somewhere in the 60:ies

Out of the other moth spirits, she's only met Yoruga personally, given she does go to the cafe sometimes with her moms that he works at.

Marisa is Bi

Because of her thick fluff around her legs, she doesn't need to wear long trousers or leg warmers during winter, still sporting shorts or skirts, just of thicker fabric.

her hair is very epic poofy pile of curls when fully open, making her the fluffiest of all 4 moths in the story.

[bengiyo]

GAP the Series Ep 10 Stray Thoughts

Last time, Sam had to make things right with Mon after calling her a whore the previous episode. After reuniting, Mon took charge sexually and rearranged Sam's entire life. Kirk's secret involvement with Sam's competitor came to light, and Sam ended things with Kirk. Meanwhile, the no-dating rule has been pushed to its limits. Finally, Sam and Mon took a trip to the beach and got some direct words from an elder butch (who I love).

Yes, let's recap Cher handing them their asses. Get it together, baby gays.

I don't remember the intro song changing last week.

So glad we have slightly-older lesbians in this to give Mon perspective. I don't care if they're being used to quicky push past certain emotional hurdles; that's the whole point of having experienced friends in the community.

When Sam hung up and the grandmother turned, I half-expected a cut to one or more of Sam's friends tied up in the room.

Kirk gets no points from me for not outing Sam. Rushing to the grandmother is a lame move.

I get Sam's insecurity. She doesn't want to face her grandmother is she isn't sure Mon is all in.

FINALLY! TEE AND YUKI NATION RISE!!

Risa and Cher deserve to fuck uninterrupted. I'm gonna need Mon to read the room and come back later.

"every friend group should include a bimbo, a mean bisexual, an even meaner lesbian, she/theys and he/theys, a token straight that’s on thin ice, an astrology bitch who has everyone’s birth chart memorized, and a short king"

I need Sam and Cher to fight for real. It would be amazing.

Why are Tee and Yuki not participating in the lantern ceremony??

Look at the power lesbians have. It took Cutie Pie 14 episodes over two series to get married. It took Korn and Knock three seasons.

Tee and Yuki may not have danced together, but Tee did team up with Cher to dunk Yuki in the pool and that feels correct.

Becky looks great in not-pink.

Oh shit it's Nueng.

Oh, Nueng is kinda harsh, but I get it.

So the grandmother shows up, lists off some basic biographical information about Mon, insinuates that she's a gold digger, asks a rhetorical question, and then we cut away to the Thai old money house. "I've taken care of that girl." Did she just fridge Mon? Did she choke her out with that necklace of braided pearls?Shit!

I'm so sick of these people holding Mon's job over her head. Kirk is so weak and petty here. .

The death stairs are getting so much use in this show.

Oh, Nop, you may be a pick-me ass dude, but at least you're trying.

Mon, you better answer the goddamn phone when your wife is calling.

You just knew Sam was gonna pop up at that gate. I hope she doesn't kill Nop this time.

This foyer scene is making me think about Kill Bill. If a bunch of dudes had come stomping in with swords I would have lost it.

Maximum angst next week.

[kissmeaboutit]

“You remembered that?” and/or “You don’t even know what you look like, do you?” for buddie prompts

I apologize that this took so long! I started it asap and fell into a rut halfway through. Thank you to my bestie Risa for helping me out!!

This was meant to be a drabble and ended up being 6k words so whoopss

anyways enjoy!!

“I need a favor.” Eddie slid next to Buck where he was currently buttoning up his shirt. Buck looked up at him with a slight frown as he took in Eddie’s appearance. From the wrinkle between his brows, Buck guessed he was stressed about something. 

“Hello, Eddie. Good morning, I am doing well, thanks for asking.” Buck’s tone was dry as he finished the last button.

“Okay, okay. Sorry. Good morning.” Eddie gnawed his lip, looking around to make sure no one was around before moving even closer. “Please, Buck. I need a favor.”

Buck shut the door to his locker, leaning back against the cool metal and staring at Eddie for a moment. “Are you alright? Just tell me what you need.” He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to be concerned. 

Eddie fiddled with his watch, not making eye contact. “So, my cousin is getting married. I’m sure you remember me talking about it.” He didn’t wait for a reply before continuing. “Uh, right. Then, a few weeks ago I may have told my mom I was seeing someone. Just, ever since I came out she’s been trying to be extra supportive. Like trying to find me guys in LA to date. It’s honestly a bit weird,” Eddie rambled on, rubbing his neck.

Buck felt a weird twinge  at Eddie’s words that he couldn’t put a finger on.“Eddie, please get to the point.” His tone was fond, even when trying to seem annoyed by it. 

“Right. Sorry. So, I told my mom I was seeing someone, did I say that already? Well, surprise, surprise,  my mom told people . Newsflash, Buck! I am in fact not seeing anyone.” Eddie’s exasperation caused a snort from Buck. “So, my cousin- the one getting married- texted me this morning. She said a few people backed out and she’d love it if I brought my boyfriend as a plus one to fill in seats. Since they’re paid for already.”

Buck felt his eyebrows fly up as he crossed his arms over his chest and despite himself, felt a shit-eating grin grow on his face at the prospect of being able to make fun of his best friend. “So, you dug yourself into a hole? Wow, I am so glad it’s not me for once-”

“I need you to be my fake boyfriend!” Eddie cut him off, blurting it out.. “Please, Buck. I can’t tell everyone I lied. I can’t even pretend we broke up because she was asking me all these questions before she dropped that bomb on me!”

Buck’s eyes were wide in shock, taking extra time to process the words. “You-you want me to be your boyfriend?”

“Fake boyfriend.” Eddie corrected.

“Fake boyfriend.” Buck repeated. He licked his lips as he tried to take in what agreeing to this would mean. Except, this was for Eddie. So, instead of actually thinking, Buck just opened his mouth. “Okay. I’ll do it.”

There was a beat of silence between them before Eddie’s face broke out into a relieved smile. “Really? Thank you so much Buck. I promise it should only be for one night. You are such a life saver, man. I really owe you one.”

And honestly, being the one that blinding smile was directed at made everything worth it as Buck shook his head. “It’s nothing, Eds. Plus, people already joke that we are married. How hard can it be?”

*

It was, in fact, very hard. Not hard to believe. Not at all. What Buck was finding difficult was acting both as a real boyfriend and like it all meant nothing to him. Eddie took him home to Texas. They shared a hotel room the night before and they spent the whole morning together. They went over their story again; together for two months. Eddie asked Buck out one night after a few beers and while kicking Buck’s ass in Super Smash. 

What was hard was that Buck longed for this to be the truth, and ever since Eddie came out it felt like maybe it could be. Except Eddie was so adamant on this being fake. 

“Okay, we have to leave within the next ten minutes,” Eddie said as he left the bathroom, fiddling with the buttons on his sleeve. 

Buck stared at him from  the mirror where he was trying to put on his tie. Eddie looked  mesmerizing in his dark green suit that complimented his tanned skin and dark eyes, tailored perfectly to fit him in all the right places. 

“Buck? Did you hear me? Still can’t seem to tie a tie, huh?” Eddie teased and stepped in front of him, close, too close, taking both ends of the tie into his hands. Buck shook himself from his thoughts as he looked down at Eddie’s strong hands deftly working Buck’s tie.

“Oh,” he chuckled, the sound coming out a bit choked,“yeah. Guess there are just some things you never learn, right?” Buck’s eyes traveled from Eddie’s hands, up his arms, and to his face. “You uh, look pretty great. New suit?”

“Mhm, it was time for a new one,” Eddie said, concentrating on the tie. “Glad you like it.” He stayed silent for a second more, studiously working on the knot. “For the record, you look pretty great, too.” He finished up the tie and ran his hands down the sleeves of Buck’s salmon colored suit, stopping just as he reached Buck’s hands and pulling back. Buck resisted the urge to grab them and pull him back in. “Perfect. Now c’mon, we gotta head out. Don’t want to be late or I’ll never hear the end of it.” Eddie shot another smile his way and picked up his wallet and room key from the armoire, already heading for the door as though he knew Buck would be right behind. 

Buck, however, took a moment to reboot. “Right, yeah. Let’s go.” He grabbed his watch off the bed and clasped it on while walking to get his phone from  the charger. Buck inhaled and exhaled slowly now that his back was to Eddie. He could do this.

*

Buck couldn’t do this. Eddie had grabbed his hand as they walked to the venue, following the path to a beautiful outdoor area where the ceremony would be held. Buck couldn’t help but notice the way their  hands fit perfectly together, which only served to worsen his nerves . He worried that he was sweating and looked over to see if Eddie noticed. They took a seat on the bride's side, and Eddie made no movement to drop his hand.

Buck’s attention moved elsewhere, trying to get his mind off his beating heart. He saw Eddie’s parents in the row ahead of them, both leaned towards each other as they spoke in soft voices. He hoped he didn’t get grilled by them later on, they were a bit intimidating.  His eyes continued searching, looking for any more familiar faces. Abuela was sitting a few seats away from them, talking to Eddie’s sister, Adriana. Buck smiled softly, already planning on giving her a big hug the moment he was able to. 

There was soft music playing in the background, and Buck couldn’t help but feel like the romantic setting was making him feel like this was real. Buck refocused then, only to become hyper aware of the soft thumb that was rubbing over the back of his hand. Buck’s eyes trailed down,  following the soft movement of Eddie’s thumb rubbing  calming strokes into his skin. Buck looked up at Eddie’s face, but the other man was looking elsewhere, his expression giving nothing away.  

Before he could say anything, though what he would say was beyond him,  the music  started, and all heads turned to watch the groom make his way down the aisle. Buck, however, couldn’t tear his eyes away from the hand in his own, even when laughter filled the crowd as the groom did  something comedic. 

Buck’s mind drifted as he found himself wondering what Eddie’s hands would feel like on different parts of his body. They were somehow both strong and gentle, and Buck had a feeling Eddie’s touch would be similar.

When Buck finally looked over, the groomsmen were already lined up behind the groom. The bridesmaids were heading down the aisle now, Buck picked out Eddie’s other sister Sophia gracefully making her way wearing a beautiful champagne colored dress. Buck saw so much of Eddie in her, it always made him smile. The three of them were stunning.

As the ceremony commenced, Buck found himself still marveling at Eddie. Eddie and his soft touches, his fond smiles, and the way he’d lean over and whisper bits of family info as the bride and groom made vows that included a few inside family jokes. 

Eddie had chuckled when he saw Buck nodding studiously as Eddie briefly described the history between Tia Lucia and Tio Marcus. “If you think there are a lot of inside jokes now, wait until the reception. The toasts are gonna be indecipherable without me,” Eddie said, low and amused in Buck’s ear. 

And Buck shivered at Eddie’s proximity but still found himself grinning in anticipation. The fact that Eddie was putting such an effort into making Buck feel included was unbelievable to him and he almost felt greedy for wanting more, wanting whatever else Eddie deemed him worthy enough to give. 

**

During the cocktail hour, Eddie was gently leading Buck through the sea of people so they could say hello to his family. They’d stopped at his parents’ the night before, so luckily they didn’t have to do any awkward introductions, even if Buck had technically already met his parents. Thankfully, Abuela was around so Buck could finally give her the hug he’d been longing to.

“Oh, Evan, it's so good to see you. Look at you, are you eating right? My Eddito is taking care of you, isn’t he?” Isabel fussed, kissing his cheek when he leaned down.

“I promise you I am well fed.” Buck laughed softly, squeezing her hand when she reached down to hold one. It reminded him of Eddie’s touch. As though Eddie was reading his mind, a moment later Eddie’s hand slid into his other one and sent his abuela a sheepish grin. 

“Sorry to steal him away, Abuela. I just really want to go find something to drink.” Eddie kissed her cheek before whisking Buck away. Buck caught a glimpse of the knowing smile she sent their direction before she was lost in the crowd. It didn’t take Buck much thought to realize that Eddie had just wanted to get away from his parents.

On the way to the bar, they were stopped by Adriana and another woman. Buck tried to pinpoint if he recognized her, but fell flat.

“Dodo!” Adriana wrapped her fingers around his wrist, pulling her brother into a hug. Eddie melted into it, and Buck knew that for all his exasperation with them, that he couldn’t deny how much he missed his sisters.. He did, however, wrinkle his nose at the nickname. Buck huffed out a laugh remembering the story. It was something both his sisters had started calling him when they were young. It came to be after Sophia got a book on Dodo birds and the girls made the connection between that and Edmundo.

“Hi Adri, you look beautiful,” Eddie greeted, taking in his sister before a mischievous glint stole its way into his expression.  “As beautiful as a gremlin can look, that is,” he added,  pressing a kiss to her soft hair. Adriana scoffed and pinched at his hand, stepping back finally so she could get a good look at him. 

Her gaze trailed over to Buck and that same mischievous expression on Eddie’s face was suddenly mirrored in hers, making the family connection even more undeniable. “Ah, Buck! It’s so good to see you again! Eddie talks about you so much, I'm not surprised you're at  your first official Diaz wedding already.” She stepped in to hug him, welcoming him with open arms.

Buck wasn’t sure if she was just teasing, or if Eddie really did talk about him a lot. “Eddie’s always  talking about you guys, too. He’s always saying you’d get along with my sister, Maddie.” He smiled genuinely, thinking about the ways Adriana and Maddie would end up bullying him and Eddie.

“Oh, I bet! Hopefully we’ll be meeting her soon. Anyways, let me go get you guys something to drink!” She floated off on a cloud of silk, the length of her dress just barely trailing on the ground. . 

Buck turned back to the conversation Eddie was having with the other woman who Buck had somehow forgotten. Just like he’d forgotten they were still holding hands. Eddie smiled at him. “Buck, this is my cousin, Irene. She has a son around Christopher’s age, they are always playing that one game together online.”

“Oh! Tristan? The two of them are always so funny.” Buck smiled widely in recollection.

Irene looked a bit surprised that he knew that and  Eddie butted in to add some context. “Yeah, Buck is always hanging out with Chris and keeping an eye out when he plays with people online. He knows I'm  a worrier when it comes to stranger danger. It’s sweet. So he knows all of the friends Chris plays with. He says it’s because I'm neurotic, but I secretly think he worries too.” Eddie pretended like he was whispering the last part, which made Irene laugh . Eddie didn’t stop, though, each new word making Buck’s brain short circuit. “He’s so great with him, it feels  amazing to have a partner again. Someone to rely on, you know? I sometimes can’t believe I got so lucky to find someone who treats my kid like his own.”

Buck couldn’t breathe. Eddie was talking so seriously about him, he almost forgot that they were in the same room. Thankfully, Adriana appeared again with two glasses of wine. “Here you go.” She pressed a red wine into Eddie’s hands and a white into Buck’s. Buck could tell Eddie was just going to accept it, so he spoke up.“Eddie actually doesn’t drink red. He once said he drank an entire bottle and got so drunk that he started drunk calling random restaurants and ended up ordering food from like four places by accident,” Buck laughed as he plucked the red from Eddie’s hands and replaced it with the white. “Now it just gives him a headache to even remember.”

Eddie looked down at the wine he was now holding and back up to Buck, his eyes shining with something Buck couldn’t pinpoint. “You remembered that? I told you that like five years ago at my first Grant-Nash barbeque.” He laughed, taking a small sip of the white wine.

Buck reached out to straighten Eddie’s tie before slipping their hands together again. “I remember everything that you tell me, Eds.” He said it as if it was so simple. Because it was. Eddie and Buck’s eyes locked on each other, and for a second Buck thought Eddie was about to lean in to kiss him.

Irene and Adriana both cooed at the sight and whatever moment they were about to have was shattered by the sudden reminder that they weren’t alone. Well, only if there was a moment to have. Buck was pretty sure the wine was already getting to him.

At the start of the reception , Buck and Eddie found themselves seated at a table with Eddie’s sisters and other relatives around the same age. Eddie had thanked God that they weren’t stuck at his parents’ table.

Everything went well after that. They brought in the bridal party, had their dances, and were served dinner. Once dinner came to an end, the DJ began playing  songs to get people on the dancefloor. 

*

Eddie was whisked away by his sisters when one of their favorite line dancing songs started up. Eddie had turned to invite Buck, but Buck  waved him off, smiling as he got to see Eddie loosen up under the attention of his family. He watched as the three of them joined the dance floor and started dancing in sync. Buck turned in his chair, draping his arm over the back and resting his head against it to be able to see them. Eddie was mesmerizing as he moved along the dancefloor. He seemed to know the moves like they were ingrained into his brain. Buck didn’t even know the song, but Eddie clearly did by the way he was singing along.

God. Buck was so in love with him.

The song ended, and Buck turned back around and downed the rest of his drink. He didn’t even realize he was up until he was stepping onto the dancefloor. The song changed to Time of My Life. Eddie was now taking off his suit jacket and tossing it over a random chair, making his way back to where his sisters were and Buck tried not to trip over himself at the sight of Eddie down to his button up, rolling up his sleeves a bit to cool down. Buck stopped in front of him, the slow beginning of the song filling the room as the crowd sang along.  Their eyes connected, and Buck felt any anxiety he had about doing this slide away.

I've been waiting for so long

Now I've finally found someone to stand by me

“Hey, you made it! Dance with me.” Eddie smiled, reaching his hand out towards him. People were starting to dance, their gentle movements fitting the current part of the song.

Now with passion in our eyes

There's no way we could disguise it secretly

So we take each other's hand

'Cause we seem to understand the urgency

Buck slipped his hand into Eddie’s, who pulled him close before spinning him out. The moment he came back towards Eddie’s chest again, it was like nothing mattered except for the feeling of Eddie’s warm body against his and his brilliant smile directed at him, only him. They were the only ones in the room. His confidence grew as the song continued, both moving together easily. 

Just remember

You're the one thing

I can't get enough of

So I'll tell you something

This could be love, because

Buck’s arms slipped around Eddie’s neck as they both belted out, heads tilted back for dramatics. “I’ve had the time of my life! No, I never felt this way before!” 

They looked back at each other, and the words felt too real for him. A feeling Buck could barely name washed over him, overwhelming him to the point he stepped back  to give himself some space. He didn't stop dancing though, because he was still having fun even if his heart  hurt at wanting what he couldn’t have.

Eddie’s eyes were following him the whole time. 

“What?” Buck laughed as he spun himself, his feet moving on their own accord. Eddie just shook his head, biting his lip to keep his smile from peaking through.

“You don’t even know what you look like, do you?” Eddie murmured, Buck almost didn’t hear it over the music.

“What?” Buck repeated. He had to have misheard him. 

Instead of answering, Eddie yelled out, “Hey, baby!” Then, he took several steps backwards and started doing the dance. Eddie was full out Patrick Swayze-ing him right now. Buck stood in shock and didn’t know if he should laugh or not.

‘With my body and soul

I want you more than you'll ever know

So we'll just let it go

Don't be afraid to lose control, no

Yes, I know what's on your mind

When you say, "Stay with me tonight" ‘

“Holy- Eddie, how the heck do you know this dance?!” Buck exclaimed. When he looked over he noticed Adriana and Sophia were also doing the dance, like this was something they did often. “Nevermind, I got my answer.” Buck pointed his thumb towards them. 

Eddie laughed loudly, but it didn’t hinder his dancing. When it got to the jump, Buck jokingly ran towards him with his arms spread. Eddie bent down and wrapped his arms under Buck’s butt, grunting as he stood back up. Buck flailed for a moment, looking down at him. 

“Lift with your legs!” Buck yelled, laughing loudly.

“I know,” Eddie snorted. He didn’t last long before he was setting Buck’s feet on the ground, standing up straight. They were now nose to nose, panting softly against each other's faces. The music faded around them as Buck zeroed in on the way Eddie was looking at him.

“You never answered me. When I asked if you knew what you looked like.” Eddie made no movement to step away from him. “Do you?”

Buck’s expression turned pensive. “I don’t even know what you mean, Eds. Do I look weird?”

Eddie let out the smallest chuckle, his hand coming up to cup his face. “I mean you’re weird, but you don’t look weird.” Buck swallowed hard. “You should dance with me more often.”

“Okay.” Buck’s reply was immediate.

Eddie looked flushed and happy as he stroked Buck’s cheek almost absentmindedly. “Yeah?” he asked, sounding as breathless as he looked. His smile grew at Buck’s nod and his thumb gently moved to brush along the corner of Buck’s mouth before stopping and letting it pause against his jaw instead. Eddie’s eyes turned almost pensive, as though he was deep in thought. 

Buck opened his mouth to question the sudden change when Eddie tugged him closer, resting both of his hands on  Buck’s waist in a proper hold, forcing Buck to wrap his arms around Eddie’s shoulders so that they were chest to chest. He swayed them gently to the music and Buck moved with ease, taking in the warmth of Eddie’s body against his own.

A long moment where Buck let himself selfishly imagine that this was real passed before Buck finally spoke. He reluctantly pulled his head back from where it was almost resting against Eddie’s to look the other man in the eye.“Is everything alright, Eds? You seem…” Buck trailed off, unable to find the correct word and so caught up in trying to think of it that he almost missed Eddie’s murmured response. It was hard to hear him over the song, so Buck just laughed in return. “Speak up, you sound like Chris when you ask if he’s finished his homework,” he teased fondly. 

Eddie, however, didn’t laugh. He stared at Buck with that same pensive, all encompassing look, and, seemingly frustrated by what he saw, turned his face into Buck’s neck. Buck shivered at the point where his nose brushed under his ear, gentle and barely there, like Eddie was hiding. When he pulled back, it was just enough to lock eyes with Buck, the furrow in his brow speaking of unsaid things and unknown depths that Buck couldn’t begin to fathom. Buck held his breath, now, thinking he was about to get plunged into the deep end as Eddie opened his mouth to speak but then he watched as Eddie changed his mind, letting out a forced-sounding laugh instead. “I think we’re being watched.” Eddie’s eyes glanced to the side where Adriana and Sophia were talking over their glasses of wine. 

“They’ve been staring all night. Didn’t their parents teach them that it’s impolite?” Eddie joked, and Buck couldn’t help but feel like Eddie was attempting to diffuse the awkward tension that had built between them in the last minute. Buck felt Eddie’s fingers tense on his waist as they  continued to dance, Eddie’s eyes gazing into his own; intense, searching. Buck watched as Eddie swallowed. . “We sure do make a good dance team, maybe we can be dance partners forever?” 

“Who said anything about forever?” Buck asked immediately, his mind was working a mile a minute to keep up. The overwhelmed feeling was back in full force. He needed to get out of this intimate position they were in, because of course this was all just for show. Eddie was doing this to get his family off his back, so why was he talking about forever? It didn’t mean a damn thing. 

“I did,” Eddie said softly, but with an assurance Buck usually only associated with Eddie and his decision making skills on the job. He watched as Eddie’s eyes flicked down to his lips and back up. And then Eddie was leaning in.

It took Buck a moment to understand what was happening and he felt like he was gasping for breath, being tumbled and shaken up and his entire world turning on its axis “I can’t-” he whispered, the thought of kissing when it meant nothing to Eddie didn’t sit right with him. Buck completely stepped away, then, letting Eddie’s hands drop from their place.

Eddie blinked, looking like he was snapping out of a daze as their bubble popped. He was frozen in place. “Why?” he asked with the same soft tone. His eyes searched Buck’s face for the answer. 

Buck swallowed hard in an attempt to tamp down the wave of emotions. The tears were welling up, eyes red rimmed and full of emotion. He shrugged, shaking his head as he took another step back. “I…” He choked on the words he couldn’t seem to form. A single tear rolled down his cheek and Buck let out a sound of frustration as he scrubbed at it with the back of his hand. “I…I can’t pretend like this doesn’t mean anything to me. I can’t pretend like I don’t want you.” Buck felt foolish for letting these thoughts out that Eddie was never supposed to know of in the first place. It was selfish. He was here to help Eddie and yet, here he was, making it about himself. Buck was breathing faster, looking around the room. He felt like everyone was watching. 

“Woah, hey, hey.” Eddie reached out to cup the back of Buck’s neck. “Buck. Take a breath,” Eddie murmured, trying to get Buck’s teary, frantic eyes to connect with his own. 

Their point of contact was almost enough to calm something down in Buck’s raging mind, but the reminder was stamped on every available surface: This is fake. Buck shuddered. The touch was too much. Buck gently pushed the arm away and turned to find a place to go. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. 

Eddie’s eyes narrowed into a new resolve, and Buck needed to walk away before Eddie could reject him.But Eddie, Buck knew, wouldn’t let him walk away from this. He felt it in the way that Eddie gently wrapped his fingers around his wrist and tugged Buck towards a door that led outside. It was dark now, but Buck could appreciate the way it was beautifully lit, warm string lights making the world feel a bit hazy and unreal. 

Eddie brought them to a stop far enough away from the building where nobody could see them, nobody could see Buck fall apart. They were at a railing overlooking a lower level to the gardens and Buck felt like he was barely holding on. 

Eddie’s voice, still steady, broke through the muffled quiet of the music they’d left behind. “Breathe, Buck. Please,” he implored, letting  the fresh air fill their lungs. 

Maybe it was the way Eddie asked, or maybe it was that Buck was never able to deny Eddie anything, but regardless it had Buck stepping to the railing and dropping his hands onto the cooled metal. His head hung low between his shoulders  as he sucked in a deep breath and let it out. 

“There you go, Buck.” Eddie sounded relieved.

It broke Buck’s heart that after his disastrous confession, Eddie still cared enough to take care of him. “I’m sorry, Eddie. Sorry that I came here. I’m sorry that I probably made a scene in there. I’m sorry that I can’t act like this is an act. Like it means nothing. I’m so sorry.” Buck’s voice cracked, eyes squeezed closed.

There was a long silence. Then; “Who said it doesn’t have to mean anything?” 

Buck shuddered out a breath, a broken laugh startling out of him.“You did, Eddie! You came to me and said you needed a fake boyfriend! Fake, Eddie, you know what that word means! I shouldn't have said yes. I knew it would eat me up inside, and I was right. Every touch, every-every look, every sweet, silly thing you’ve said to me has been so painful, and you just don’t get it!” Buck panted heavily, his explosion apparently having made him face Eddie head on at some point.

Eddie was frozen in shock, his eyes wide at the outburst. He looked off-kilter, the same way Buck had been feeling since Eddie had pulled him close. It was unusual for them, being able to read each other so easily and now being somewhere new. Eddie knew all of Buck, he was the one that others went to when Buck was acting off. Or at least, he was supposed to know all of Buck. But how could he know what Buck had hidden so carefully from him? This secret was for no one but Buck to live with, and now it was out. Buck reached up to feel the dampness on his cheeks and turned away, embarrassed. 

“Evan.,” Eddie started, and the reminder of the last time he’d called Buck by his first name had Buck shake his head and press further back against the railing. 

Eddie swallowed thickly. “Buck, amor,” Eddie said, and Buck’s head whipped up at the word. Eddie’s tone had shifted and he sounded as desperate as Buck felt as he continued, brown eyes blown wide and with the concerned furrow in his brow.“Listen to me, please.” Once he was certain Buck was listening, he took another step closer. “There is not a damn fake thing about how I feel for you.” 

The silence between them was filled with heavy breaths and the sounds of bugs chirping.

“What?” Buck croaked.

Eddie breathed out a tiny, private laugh and shook his head. “Evan Buckley. The love I have for you is one of the few real, true parts of my life. I asked you to come here because there isn’t a single fake feeling I have for you, which, in hindsight probably was a stupid thing to make both of us do. I didn’t realize it would be torture for me, too, seeing you looking so beautiful, taking care of me like I was yours, charming my family like you were in this for the long haul. But I knew it would be believable because I wouldn’t have to act. I’ve never had to act with you. I love you, Buck.”

“Oh.” Buck’s breath was taken away for a different reason this time. And then he resurfaced, and he breathed again. “Oh. You love me. You? You love me. I love you.” Buck absently reached up and poked his chest, emphasizing his point before reaching out to poke Eddie just where his heart was. Buck looked down at his finger and the solid mass of Eddie’s chest beneath it and then looked back up into Eddie’s amused eyes. 

Eddie laughed softly, taking a hold of Buck’s finger and stepping closer. “Mm. I gathered. It’s still very nice to hear.” Eddie took the finger he was still holding onto and maneuvered it so that they ended up properly holding hands between themselves so that he could pull Buck the rest of the way in. “I, Eddie Diaz, love you, Evan Buckley,” he murmured into the minute space between them, his breath warm on Buck’s lips. Buck’s eyelids fluttered as he glanced down at Eddie’s lips. Their noses brushed together, both were all smiles. “You aren’t going to run off dramatically this time, are you?” Eddie teased, his voice low.

Buck laughed, shaking his head. His free hand found its way up to fiddle with Eddie’s tie, his eyes still on him. “Nah. Not this time.” He used the tie to tug Eddie in and cover the last millimeter of distance between them, their lips finally meeting. It was awkward for a moment with their smiles preventing anything from progressing, but then Eddie tilted his head and Buck gasped at the sensation and fell into it, letting a low groan rumble out from his chest. Eddie had Buck pressed into the railing, their hands wandering the expanse of their bodies. . 

After an indeterminate amount of time Eddie pulled back, his fingers tangled in Buck’s soft curls. He smiled, dropping a few more  soft kisses to his lips. They were returned happily, Buck’s soft puffs of laughter cut off between each one. Eddie pulled  his face back, and let his gaze explore Buck’s face. Eddie was illuminated only by the warm glow of the string lights but Buck could see the want blowing his pupils wide open. “God. Look at you,” Eddie whispered, biting his lip. Hestepped back a little, twirling Buck to the song they could barely hear filtering out from the reception hall. He pulled him into his chest and Buck went, pliant and giddy. “Just as I thought,” Eddie spoke into Buck’s ear, making his skin erupt in goosebumps. “You really have no idea what you look like.” 

Buck’s cheeks flushed, his hair a mess from Eddie’s fingers. He shook his head against Eddie’s and buried his face into Eddie’s shoulder, because he could now. 

And still Eddie continued, like a dam breaking. “I can’t even put it into words, Buck. You thought I wouldn’t be head over heels in love with you when you look like this?” Eddie nudged Buck’s head up and used his thumb to swipe over Buck’s bottom lip. “Beautiful.” Eddie heldhis chin between his thumb and forefinger and pulled him in for another kiss. “And I can’t believe I get to have you,” he added, grinning at the way Buck nipped his lip as they broke apart. 

“You are such a sap, I can’t believe I didn’t realize this before.It’s actually disgusting. Good thing I'm disgustingly in love with you, too,” he whispered, dropping kisses all over Eddie’s face, pressing the last one onto the mole under his eye. “Okay, Mr. Diaz. Let’s head back in before people start asking questions.” 

Eddie kissed him once more, taking his hand. They re-entered the venue, the music now much louder  the moment the door opened. Eddie was about to lead him back to their table when Adriana was suddenly in front of them, giving them a once over. 

“You guys were totally faking it before, weren’t you?” she asked, hands crossed over her chest as she stared at them with an eyebrow raised.

Eddie and Buck looked at each other, immediately talking over the other. 

“What-?” 

“No-”

Adriana held her hand up to stop them from talking, not before letting an annoying smirk overtake her expression. “I mean, you’re obviously not faking it now because well, look at you both. You’re in love. You guys were not this giddy earlier,” she explained, and then focused on Eddie. “Let me guess, you needed to get mom off your back and it backfired?  I’ve read enough romances to know how this ended. I thought you were as happy as you could be this morning, but man, was I wrong. Because now I know that I’ve never seen you so happy.” 

Sophia popped up behind them, her arms draped over both their shoulders. “You shoulda seen them outside, it was like a scene from a movie.”

Eddie and Buck exchanged startled looks and they both  flushed as Eddie groaned. “Okay, enough teasing, please.”

“We are your sisters, Dodo. Never gonna happen.” Adriana stepped in and all four of them squeezed into a happy hug. “I am so happy for you, and that you finally got your head out of your ass long enough to finally confess,” she said once they pulled apart. But then her expression changed and Buck almost stepped back in fear. “But I don’t appreciate you lying to me. Don’t do it again.” Adriana poked Eddie’s chest.

Sophia rounded to stand in front of them. She did the, ‘I got my eye on you’ motion, and then they were gone.

Buck let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.“Wow, they are intense,” Buck snorted, looking at Eddie and grinning. “C’mon, hot stuff. Dance with me before the night is over.” He held his hand out to him.

“Forever?” Eddie asked, dropping his hand into Buck’s. 

“Forever,” Buck repeated, stepping backwards to the dance floor. “Then we can do a different type of dance in our hotel room.” Buck winked

“Buck…” Eddie paused for a moment and then seemed lost in thought for a second before turning back to Buck with a newly predatory glint in his eye. “Hurry up and let’s get a dance in.”  

Buck’s boisterous laughter cut through the music as they entered the crowd.

[whileyoureinschoolidothisallday]

consuming dabi content isn’t enough I need him to come to my house and watch christmas movies with me

[heliads]

everything is blue • conrisa space au • Chapter Fourteen: Dancing in the Moonlight

Risa Ward escaped a shuttle destined for her certain, painful death. Connor Lassiter ran away from home before it was too late. Lev Calder was kidnapped. All of them were supposed to be dissected for parts, used to advance a declining galaxy, but as of right now, all of them are whole. Life will not stay the same way forever.

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Risa isn’t sure how long this is going to last, but stars, she hopes this sort of feeling sticks around forever. She hasn’t been happy like this– effortlessly, unchangingly happy– in a very long time. Risa was happy in the Graveyard, of course, they all were; they were groundsless who weren’t dead yet, who wouldn’t be? There was always a slim undercurrent of fear running through every one of their conversations, though, the knowledge that even the brightest moments could be swiftly brought down by their eventual discovery.

Now that trap has been sprung, yet Risa still managed to make it out alive. She’s still with Connor despite no longer being in that safe haven. They might be flying straight towards their deaths, but for right now, they are together, together and happy. The little victories are worth twice the big ones, Risa has learned that since she ran away. This one feels like it might be worth her whole life.

That, perhaps, is why she’s okay with the fate that awaits her on the distribution colony. Risa doesn’t want to die, obviously, and she will be fighting tooth and nail to keep herself intact even while she’s breaking her friends out of the colony, but she can take this risk because she trusts Connor with her life. Before this, Risa would have stayed on the ship and never meddled with a danger like this. If she’s got Connor, though, Risa can do anything. Even beat the odds by dragging a small army of Deadmen out of their looming distributions.

Risa never thought of herself as a hero. No one is, not here, not in these worlds. When she was escaping the StaHo shuttle that should have taken her to a similar harvest colony, Risa didn’t stop to usher any of the other kids out. When she and Connor were running through the collapsing corridors of the conquered Graveyard, they didn’t help any distributes they saw. In a survival setting, you have to put yourself first.

Now, though, they finally have the chance to do something good, something that won’t just directly benefit them. There is, of course, the looming threat that the runaways Connor ran into could cancel his fake grounds license, but both of them know that’s not the real reason they’re doing this. Over the course of that year spent in the Graveyard, they made friends, true friends. They can’t simply abandon those friends to their fates just because she and Connor have already gotten themselves out of trouble.

Thus, they’re shipping out to a distribution colony to spare as many kids as they can from dissection. It took a little while to find out the right place to go– the amount of distribution colonies in the galaxy is sickeningly high, even higher than Risa was expecting– but eventually they stumbled across a few mentions of a sudden mass influx of distributes into a particular colony not far from the Graveyard and they knew they had their target.

Now all that’s left to do is to pass the time until they get there at last. Stars, she can’t imagine what it’s going to be like when they touch down. The guards will see some nice ship on their scanners and assume it’s, like, a Centerworld official or something come to see the progress of that particular harvest colony’s child dismemberment systems. They’ll all file up to receive their guests and then two teenagers will file out, an escaped StaHo ward and the Akron AWOL. 

Talk about a surprise. Nothing about this arrival will be good by Centerworld standards. Imagine for a moment that you work for a harvest colony, that you’ve already thrown away enough of your morals to work for a harvest colony, and one day you get visitors. Two visitors exactly, two visitors that are, in fact, Deadmen, and their ship– their ship, it’s called the Unwind. 

Suns, Risa had to practically force that little bit of information out of Connor. He’d been hesitating to tell her the name of the ship like he’s been hesitating to tell her literally everything else, probably out of fear of her judgment. And why shouldn’t she judge? Unwinding is the derogatory term for distribution. Only Unwinds ever use it, because why waste breath on the proper way to call a process designed to end your life in the most horrific way possible? Connor naming his ship, the guardian angel of those fleeing distribution everywhere, after a revolting slang term only used by the damned– Risa can admit it’s something. Stupid or brave, she’s not sure yet. But it’s something.

Risa is wandering around the ship as she is prone to do, taking in every corner and crevice lest she forget what it was like to briefly rule every square inch around her. She’ll miss this later, maybe, having all the open area to herself, knowing that the only other souls aboard were her and Connor, or maybe what she’ll long for most of all was still being alive and knowing the heart beating in her chest was her own.

Regardless, Risa is happy for it. The closer she meanders towards the nav center, the more aware she becomes of a distant sound. It starts off quiet, gradually growing louder as she creeps closer. It’s a gentle rhythm, an occasional melody. The pianist in her simply has to investigate. Eventually, she pokes her head through the door of the nav room to discover Connor messing around with one of the many instrument panels. Each time he presses a button or directs one of the many holodecks in front of him, speakers embedded somewhere in the floors and ceiling change their tune from happy to sad to anything that Connor’s heart desires.

He looks up when he sees her, grinning with excitement. “Did you know they’ve got music in this thing? Tons of songs, old and new. Crazy.”

Risa lets out a slow, disbelieving laugh. Although it sounds insane, she genuinely cannot remember the last time she listened to something like music. Every now and then, Hayden was able to intercept a signal or two with radio frequencies bearing songs, but they were always a little too glitchy or staticky to fully enjoy. They pretended otherwise, of course, anything can pass for greatness in the Graveyard, but they all knew it wasn’t quite the best. What Connor’s playing is perfectly crisp, though, every beat on time, every note in tune. As a musician, albeit a former one, it makes Risa’s heart soar.

“What songs do they have?” She asks, drawing closer so she can check it out.

“Anything,” Connor says, “Come on, let’s pick one.”

They scroll through aimlessly, playing a few seconds of this track or that so they can giggle at the absurd melodies. Rich people have terrible taste. At last, Connor gasps in delight and points at one song title in particular.

“What’s that one? No, it can��t be– Dancing in the Moonlight?”

Risa cocks her head curiously at him. “Do you know it? It looks old.”

“It’s super old,” he says, smiling fondly at some memory or inner thought, “It reminds me of one of my old teachers in school, though. She used to play it on the days I didn’t skip class. Or maybe she played it all of the days, I just didn’t know it because I skipped.”

Risa laughs at that. “Come on, then. Play it. We’ll see if it’s good enough to stay in school.”

Connor rolls his eyes, but he does as told and queues the song. A few seconds later, it starts to play, billowing around them in clear, rolling measures. She taps her foot a little, trying to sense the beat. Connor grins at her, stepping side to side in exaggerated motions. 

Risa grins. “Just as good as you remember?”

“Even better,” Connor tells her. “Come on, dance with me.”

They start to move side by side together. Risa spins a little, just because she can. When she turns back around, Connor is beaming ear to ear. On a whim, she grabs Connor’s left hand with her right, placing his other hand on the small of her back. Two teenagers, swaying together to an upbeat song. It’s been done a million times before all across the galaxy but it still feels like such a startling and sweet surprise for each new couple. Every pair of young souls feels as if they’ve come up with something extraordinary. And, for them, it is.

“Are we waltzing?” Connor asks, wiggling his eyebrows a little to be annoying.

“We are,” Risa decides. “Come on, it’s easy. Box step. Step forward, then to the side, then back again. Simple.”

“Simple,” Connor agrees. She expects to have to lead him a little more, but his steps are easy and assured, and Risa realizes a little too late–

“You know how to do this, don’t you?” She asks.

“A little,” he admits, but he keeps dancing with her anyway. “My parents used to dance like that. I learned along by watching them. Figured it might come in handy sometime. You know, for picking up girls like I do all the time,” he says, flashing Risa an obvious, terrible wink. She laughs anyway and lets him spin her.

This time, when she comes back from the twirl, he’s a little too strong and she ends up closer to him than expected. To catch herself, Risa presses a hand against his chest, but she forgets to pull it away again. She can feel his heartbeat through his shirt and skin. They stop moving, just breathing together there, in and out. Risa is certain that he must sense the way her pulse is pounding.

“Risa,” he whispers. 

She doesn’t pull away. His hand slackens from the small of her back, moving slowly to her waist. He isn’t pushing her away, but he’s giving her an opportunity to leave, if she wants it. Risa doesn’t want it. She only wants him.

She looks up at him. Connor’s eyes are half-lidded, and meet hers as if on the other side of an unfathomable distance. Risa doesn’t think she could say half what she wants to right now, doesn’t even know if she could fully think it, so all she can do is look back at him and hope he understands.

Connor has always understood.

Even now. Even when it’s the one boundary they have yet to cross.

He crosses it. She meets him halfway.

The kiss is a long time coming, Risa thinks. It’s the product of more than a year of endless pining and secrets kept for the benefit of a friendship both of them were scared to lose. However, it turns out there’s something far more valuable than a perpetual friendship, and that is the love that both of them have been hiding behind half-closed doors for almost as long as they’ve known each other. Risa doesn’t know how long Connor has been holding back, but it must have been almost as long as her.

Connor pulls back slightly, tilting his head down so the crown of his head touches her forehead. “Y’know,” he says absentmindedly, “You could have told me you liked me any time back in the Graveyard. You didn’t have to wait until we were about to storm a harvest colony to let me know.”

Risa laughs quietly. “You could have told me, too. Besides, I thought you liked it when I had a flair for drama.”

“I do,” Connor smiles, and kisses her again to prove it. It is just as exhilarating and earth-shattering as the first time. Risa wonders if each and every kiss will sweep her off her feet like this, and immediately wants to test that theory again and again, just to make sure.

Just as Risa begins to think that she might want this forever, an alarm goes off, the piercing klaxon rattling off of the fine walls of the spacecraft. She flinches against Connor’s lips, and he draws back at once.

“That’s the alarm I set to warn me when we were within an hour’s distance of the colony,” he whispers in a daze. His lips are swollen from the kiss, his pupils shot, but the look on his face is nothing short of horror, no sweetness of new love there. “We’re close. It’s coming up on us now.”

Risa draws in a sharp breath. “I thought we had more time.”

Connor looks at her, and the expression on his face is nothing short of heartbreaking. “So did I.”

Is that not what they have always wanted, time? Just when they finally find each other again, when they finally manage to confess the truth that’s been weighing on both of them all of this time, they are interrupted. Risa has no idea if they will survive this. She can hope, of course, but hope is a feeble thing to rest one’s strength on. Hope will always disappear when you need it the most. Hope is no excuse for reality.

Slowly, they make their way to the cockpit. Along the way, they make final preparations to hold a host of newly free distributes. Risa doesn’t ask him if he thinks they’ll survive this, and Connor pretends as if they will. When the colony comes into view, Risa almost doesn’t want to look. She realizes belatedly that this might be one of her last sights, though, so she forces her eyes open again, and what she sees is empty, unearthly stillness.

She tilts her head to the side, considering it. “I don’t see a whole lot of movement on the surface.”

Connor frowns. “Well, maybe they’re keeping all of the kids inside? I mean, they’re probably not letting them run around all the time. Wouldn’t want one of their prisoners to accidentally break a leg or something and ruin their profits.”

His tone is bitter. Risa can’t help but match it. “I don’t even see lights. Surely they want them to be healthy, right? They wouldn’t keep them in total darkness.”

Connor leans forward to get a better look, then points out one particular part of the harvest colony. “No, look over there. That’s light, right?”

Risa peers at it, then nods. “Faint, but yeah, it is. Maybe we angle towards that?”

Connor nods in agreement, manipulating the controls to accordingly change their trajectory. They stand in silent union, hands interlocked, watching the distribution colony loom ever closer. Risa waits for some alarm to be triggered, some sentry ship to be sent after them, but nothing happens.

“I don’t like this,” she says uneasily. “They should have seen us by now.”

“We’ve got good cloaking technology,” Connor mentions hesitantly. “Could be that their scanners just haven’t picked us up yet. To be honest, the fewer confrontations, the better. The element of surprise is best when it’s on our side.”

Risa shrugs, accepting this. Sure, she’s glad not to be fired on immediately, but something about this whole affair still seems off somehow. She can’t help this uncanny sense that something is terribly wrong, and more so than just the fact that they’re taking a crazy risk.

“Five minutes to landing,” Connor announces. “Strap in. I’ll try for a clean landing, but I’m still not an ace pilot yet.”

“You’re excellent at bedside manner, though,” Risa quips.

Connor glances up just long enough to shoot her a wry grin before returning to his controls. Risa takes a seat, buckling herself in just in case. To Connor’s credit, his landing is quite smooth. The second the ships start moving, they’re instantly hurrying to the escape hatch. They won’t have long to make this work, they’ve got to make every second count. Connor tosses Risa a tranq gun then takes one for himself. She flashes him a smile right before they open the hatch.

“We can do this,” she tells him. “We’re getting out.”

“We’re getting out,” Connor agrees, and opens up the hatch. Risa has no idea if they’re lying or not. She supposes she’ll find out soon enough.

They run out as quickly as they can. Risa can see the tower of a security station not far off, which isn’t great. As they hurry towards the doors leading towards the heart of the harvest colony center, Risa waits for Juvey-cops to run out and start shooting at them. Maybe a colony like this, with this many distributes all waiting for their end, would even have hired private soldiers, just in case.

Still, nobody comes. No klaxons blare even despite the obvious intrusion. Risa exchanges a nervous glance with Connor. “Someone should have noticed by now,” she whispers.

Connor nods his agreement. They arrive at the tall gate leading to the center. Connor reaches towards the control panel, but, as it turns out, he doesn’t have to. It’s already been shot to pieces, a small ribbon of smoke rising from the destroyed controls. The doors are cracked open; Connor kicks one open and it falls to the ground completely, the resulting clang echoing off of empty walls. They freeze, but no one comes.

Connor moves to go inside, but Risa holds out an arm to stop him. “Do you smell that?” She asks.

He pauses, then frowns. “Smells like smoke. A lot of it.”

A terrible idea is occurring to Risa. “You know the light you saw when we were nearing the colony? What if it wasn’t the light of a building?”

Connor turns back to her, ignoring the empty doorway behind him. It won’t matter, actually. No one will come to kill him, because no one is here at all. “What if it wasn’t a light?” She repeats, “What if it was a fire? A fire that consumed everything here?”

Connor’s eyes widen. He turns back to the doorway and carefully steps through. Risa joins him a heartbeat later, and together they stare at the empty grounds. Bullet holes riddle the walls, the windows, the ground beneath their feet. Risa hears no sounds save for the wind whistling through holes in the complex and her own harsh breathing.

“Connor,” she says unsteadily, “I think everyone here is gone.”

unwind tag list: @reinekes-fox, @sirofreak, @locke-writes

all tags list: @wordsarelife

[asksythe]

MXTX Interview with Risa Wataya for Subaru Magazine P.2

How to describe the main characters of "Mo Dao Zu Shi"

Risa Wataya: One of the charms of "Mo Dao Zu Shi" is that the characters are depicted in multiple dimensions. Even characters who are seen as villains or enemies will have such complex backgrounds. Sometimes I feel that some scenes pay more attention to depicting the deep psychological connections between the characters than the plot. In terms of describing emotional and psychological relationships, is there anything that needs to be emphasized?

Mo Xiang: My personal belief is: "First, let the characters interact and talk to each other in my head. Then portray them. So that I can feel that the characters' emotions are real. At this point, it's natural to imagine the way the characters talk and behave.

Similar to real-life interpersonal relationships, you have to give the characters enough time to develop and incubate a certain amount of emotion before you can start writing the story, so my creative process is very slow.

Risa Wataya: How long did it take you to finish writing "Mo Dao Zu Shi?"

Mo Xiang: Last year of university, when I was about to graduate, I started to come up with ideas. It took about ten months to write an outline. Even though I posted constantly (*) online at that time, it took me five months to finish.

(*: Here, MXTX used a term from Chinese e-literature platforms, which means daily posting for long-form novels. So she wrote and posted every day for 5 months to complete MDZS) 

Risa Wataya: So quick!

Mo Xiang: "Mo Dao Zu Shi" is my second work, and I have only completed one before. So there's still plenty of room for the imagination. Actually, I had a lot of ideas for a long time, and in my spare time, I started writing when I was about to graduate in my senior year. After the serialization process really started, I felt that it went smoothly, and I felt that the writing speed also became faster.

Risa Wataya: So that’s how it was. That’s incredible! Returning to the subject of the character, Wei WuXian, one of the main characters, although deeply misunderstood by those around him, he is still a genuinely good-hearted person. And he is also very talkative. Even in the love scenes, he talked constantly, but he never lost his charms. This makes him so much more attractive.

Mo Xiang: I think Wei WuXian is a very interesting character. If you become acquainted with him, you probably won't be able to hate him. I like the loving side of him. Whether it's fellow travelers, family, friends, passersby, or children, he is the first to show affection and take real actions.

Whether to me or to Lan Wangji, such a personality is of extreme importance. To put it bluntly, I sympathize with Lan WangJi, so for me, Wei WuXian is a fascinating and important (*) character. If I can't make myself feel "Lan WangJi will definitely love Wei WuXian. Moreover, this kind of love will be so strong that he can't forget it for the rest of his life", then I can't convince myself to believe in their love and continued writing it. Since the relationship between these two is a very important element in the work, I thought a lot about it.

(*: the way she used the word important here is in a personal and deeply emotional sense. So Wei Wuxian’s character being the way he is, kind and affectionate towards everyone and backing up his emotions with real actions, is deeply important to MXTX herself and not just the plot. The wording also means here that this is the crux of why he becomes Lan Wangji’s beloved and gaining tremendous weight in Lan Wangji’s eyes)

To Be Continued

Translation by me: Sythe / NPD Khanh

[queenof-clubs]

Welcome, players! Grab a partner and let's begin! But first, as always, some rules before interacting:

♧ 18+ only as the Borderlands aren't kid-friendly ♧ I tolerate zero hate. Kindness only here as this is my OC and I'm doing this for fun ♧ Speaking of fun--I wish I could RP all the time but I've got a life I need to tend to also. Please be patient with me, I promise I'll reply as soon as I can! ♧ Totally open to replying to duplicate characters, so if you see me interacting with a character you play please don't let that stop you from interacting with me. I'd love to RP with them too ♧ This is a canon divergent, AU, and multi-ship friendly blog ♧ This is a sideblog of @kuinaoflight light so any inbox submissions will be anon or from that blog if media-related.

FULL NAME: Suzuki Mai

CITIZENSHIP ALIAS: Queen of Clubs

GAME: Dodgeball (based off the show)

FORMER OCCUPATION: Professional Dancer, aspiring pop singer/idol

FACECLAIM: Miyawaki Sakura

AGE: 25 years old

DATE OF BIRTH: June 24, 1998

ZODIAC: Tiger ; Cancer (western)

SEXUALITY: Pansexual

ETHNICITY: Japanese

LANGUAGES: Japanese, English, French

SKILLS: Flexibility, singing, agility, dance (ballet, jazz, contemporary, lyrical, acrobatics, hip-hop), circus arts, gymnastics, soccer, volleyball, dodgeball (obvi!)

Mun is also:

@kuinaoflight (main blog)

@heiyaitsakane (sideblog)

@heartsmajestymira (main blog)

@sofiamoreno (sideblog)

BIOGRAPHY

Began dance at the age of two and had been doing it professionally ever since.

Mai was born and raised in Japan but found she never quite belonged in her world, which is why she took up the mantle of being a professional dancer at a young age and then a pop idol. The Borderlands were her first real home.

Her family heavily pushed her to continue with dance and gymnastics, hoping Mai could one day become world famous. While she appreciated the support, her training and career were both isolating. This was her primary career focus until she discovered her love for singing. She had just started out on her journey to become a pop idol when she ended up in the Borderlands.

She longed to be part of a team where you could play together than against. Dancing and gymnastics were a solo route, and Mai had always preferred sports but never had time to actually commit to clubs other than dance. Maybe in another life she would’ve been Queen of Spades.

Not fast enough, not perfect enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not strong enough, not flexible enough, not enough not enough. Perfection was drilled into her brain, which is why Mai now has a tendency to be rather lazy when it comes to doing things and appears the opposite of her prim and proper dance look out of rebellion in the Borderlands (coloring her hair and the embracing of neon colors were the first taste of freedom and a high she's chased ever since).

A firm believer in fate, Mai believes she wished to end up in the Borderlands over fear of failure. It's been her biggest, silliest, most superstitious regret. Be careful what you wish for.

Mai's first game was ironically a Clubs game where she witnessed the power of everyone working together. Complete strangers from different worlds and backgrounds joining forces and working as one. It moved her, and she found her specialty.

Her turning point, however, and determination to become a citizen later down the road and keep playing the games was from her canon event: the loss of her best friend. Be who you want to be, had been her friend's last words. The acceptance of who she was and wanted to be was exactly what the Borderlands had showed her. Her best friend would probably disagree with her bestie's choice.

Risa, now Queen of Spades, was the first person she met in the Borderlands and someone she greatly admires. Mai's game's outfit was greatly influenced by both her dance background and the woman that inspired her to live after saving her life while dealing with the loss of her friend. They often train together to keep one another in shape, and Mai can often be found at the Queen of Spades' game location running, jumping and leaping around the rig.

In her game of Dodgeball you have to team up and you and your teammate both have to live in order to win. The beams players are required to stand their ground on are the same exact as that of your average sidewalk. It's not against the rules to jump from beam to beam, but you lose if you fall.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

HEIGHT: 5′ 4″ (163 cm)

WEIGHT: 114.5 lbs (52 kg)

HAIR COLOR: Auburn (dyed), cotton-candy pink (wig, worn during games)

EYE COLOR: Brown

PIERCINGS: Ears (two on each earlobe, barbell in her right ear), belly button

STYLE: here, here, here

QUEEN OF CLUBS OUTFIT: here, she wears a pink wig and headset during the game, which would've been her idol look.

BEACH STYLE: here, and here.

[shibukibusiness]

7 and 9

7. If mun and muse could spend a day together, what would you do and why? I'd love to give more advice on how to become prettier in real life 9. Shoutout a blog/muse you’re loving lately

@diamondfucked @cheshire-shuntaro @diamond-attorney-keiichi @kuinaoflight @hoodedchishiya @theking-ofhearts @hinataxsunshine @herculesgarcia @bossfightsamurai @boss-of-the-beach @your-sweet-cookie @fluffybrowncat @prosopagn0sis @chishiya-of-diamonds @somatheking @twentyfourhourtitts and I just started loving on @rbbthl from afar

-S (and Mun also this is Risa/Kyuma's mun for the people who don't know it yet

[honnojis]

Jan making texen (and risa) your brother in game is such a troll like are they based on your real life siblings or what?

they're not, even though i do have siblings! i have two older brothers (by 5-6 years) and one significantly younger brother (by 15 years)

he literally just made texen related to me in-game bc he felt like it and immmmmm