#Red-legged Grasshopper

[jonnysinsectcatalogue]

Red-Legged Grasshopper - Melanoplus femurrubrum

The posts that will be uploaded over the next few weeks will highlight some of the recently overlooked insect orders on this blog. Specifically, the orders of Diptera and (today's subject) Orthoptera.

Today, we get another look at a familiar insect specie who spends its days vaulting itself across grass and diving into plants. Although I've seen individuals throughout the years, I still have let to find one devouring the front yard's plants. On a nature walk, however, I was able to find one individual eating goldenrod flowers. They're otherwise always hopping away at the first sign of trouble. As some of these pictures indicate, they may be attempting a bit of cryptic camouflage. Conifer needles look like a good hiding spot (depending on the colors), but they do not offer much in terms of food. If they're still enough or quick enough, it could be very easy to lose a Grasshopper among the long grasses or beneath a plant's shadows if discovered. In my yard, they may hide but they always return to the open eventually. Summer has only just arrived, so it's too early in my area to search for adults. Generally, I've found Grasshoppers a few weeks after Cicadas make themselves heard, and then the former remain active until the approach of autumn (they are active earlier in more southern regions). That said, the smaller, wingless Melanoplus nymphs might be on the rise soon. They will be shared here as soon as they can be found and photographed between each skittish hop and turn.

Pictures were taken on August 3 and 22, September 5 and October 7, 2021 with a Google Pixel 4.

[amphiptere-art]

Goodness I forgot about these. Stayed up till two in the morning doing this. Some exploratory doodles about the whole researchers / Hunter scenario with Black Star and Earth. A little doodle of how the tracker looks like on Blue Moon. Plus a little comparison between the standard grass fey and Blue Moon.

The dialogue going from top down goes: relax it's just temporary. Stop following me. Just hold still for a sec. Hiss. They look weird. Prob shorter.

[talisetheleast]

Red Legged Grasshopper

He found me v confusing

[darkstaria]

Yandere Batfam - Soulmate Soul Animal AU

Chapter 2:

Chapter 1. Chapter 3. Chapter 4. Chapter 5.

Taglist: @moonchild-artemisdaughter @jjsmeowthie @madine11-blog @xxrougefangxx

----

“No!”

Screaming, you rushed up. Breathe!

In, out. In, out. Blood raced.

In.

Out.

With a shuddering breath, you sighed. You became aware of a presence at your pillow. Glancing, you locked eyes with your second robin. Well, you called this bird a robin, but it was barely that.

The bird was covered in black feathers, with the exception being bright red that covered its head and a small part of its chest. It hardly resembled a robin anymore. This one, you referred to as Hood.

Hood gave a little chirp, hopping over to your lap. It settled down, providing a reassuring weight. You started petting it, just a little. Hood could always tell when you had this particular nightmare.

You didn't have nightmares often, but if you did, it was always the same one. It started simple, an unlucky mistake leading to the meeting of a soulmate (which was nightmarish enough). Your brain never really elaborated on the meeting, as if it couldn’t quite comprehend what it could be like. Instead, the horror appeared when you met your own soul animal.

It was impossible to meet your own soul form until you've met a soulmate, as the animal orbited those you were bound to. Many a novel has been dedicated to those discovering that their soul has taken some unfortunate form, and their journey of self-acceptance. One particular novel you were fond of had the protagonist learning to accept that their form was a snail.

But… in the nightmare, your form wasn't that of a snail. It wasn't the form of a snake, a grasshopper or even a turtle.

It was a robin.

A little, fluttering robin. In green. In yellow.

In red.

You always awoke after that.

You continued petting Hood. Pet pat, pet pat. It always let you have little leniencies like this, after your nightmares. You appreciated it.

For you, a robin was the worst form your soul could possibly have. You had tried previously to logic yourself out of this fear. What was so bad about being a robin? You had four of them already; they weren’t so bad, albeit annoying. You just couldn’t… stand the idea.

It reminded you of the blood on your hands. The sight never really left you. The bodies of soul animals didn't remain, they disappeared just as the soul did after death. The fact both comforted and reassured you. You didn't have to bury the body, but you also didn't have anything to mourn.

You had made a small grave anyway.

You cried. Just a little. Hood gave a small tweet of distress, raising itself up to you. You took the offer, picking the bird up and cuddling its face. Just a little.

You felt sick.

You two stayed like that a while, two souls sheltering from the world. You wondered if your soulmates ever did a similar thing with your soul form. It was times like this that had you considering reaching out. You brushed aside some feathers on Hood’s chest, revealing a faint, scarred Y.

Maybe not.

A scutter of wings could be heard from your kitchen. You groaned, lifting Hood off your lap as you slowly got up. Who was it this time?

Bleary eyes blinked, you slowly made your way over. You were joined by Hood, as it made itself a steady weight on your shoulder. Hood was always a little too heavy for you to carry about easily, but you decided to be kind by not complaining this time.

Staring into your kitchen, it took you a moment to understand the sight in front of you.

A robin darting about, as a bat watched from the top of your fridge. It was a typical image for your home, but why..

Why was the robin… purple? And, was that bat a little smaller than usual?

…

Oh, no.

Strength left your legs as you crumbled to the floor, just staring at the two with an empty gaze. Hood squawked in alarm, fluttering off your shoulder.

You had two new soulmates.

Goddamnit.

~ ~ ~ ~

Somehow, Spoiler and Orphan (you later figured out their identities, none of your soulbonds were subtle) weren't your first surprise bond. No, that dubious honor belonged to the fourth robin.

You had been a little exhausted after a long day being tormented by Wing’s affections. Occasionally Wing has rather clingy days, and it becomes impossible to leave the house. It had only gotten worse after the second robin’s demise. You endured.

As a result, you were sleeping in. That is, until the sounds of high pitched peeping noises stirred you from your slumber. You slowly awoke, your eyes meeting bright green.

“Aaagh!” You shrieked, jumping back and falling off the bed. “Owww.” Groaning, you slowly sat up, taking in the situation.

There was a baby bird. On your bed. “What…?” You muttered. The bird didn't have many feathers, but the ones that it did have were a mixture of black and green. It was this fact, alongside the bird being a robin, that made you register exactly what was going on.

“Ohh my god.” Your head was in your hands. That was how done you were. Most people stopped getting soulmates at one. Sometimes there were bonds of two, maybe even three. Having four bonds was already rather extraordinary (which is why you pretended all your robins were the same one), but now there was a fifth.

Well, at least the baby bird was cute. You reached out, extending a finger to pet it, when it snapped at you. With its beak and everything.

Betrayal.

Since when were baby birds aggressive? All your other soulmates were older than you so you never got to care for any of them. Now you finally have one, and it snaps at you.

Turning away from the bird, you mean to sulk a little, but get interrupted by the Bat fluttering right in front of you. You blink, and the next second it's perched right by your new soulmate. You stare, eagerly anticipating a conflict.

The baby bird stares at the Bat for a second, before making an adoring noise and resting under its wing.

What.

Suffice to say, your initial relationship with Robin didn't start off perfectly. It did seem to warm to you within a few weeks though, so you didn't feel too bad about it.

In all honesty, you were more concerned about what the existence of a fourth robin would mean for the third. Would it be a smooth transition? A simple bestowing of the title like it had been for the first and second robin?

Or would it be tainted with blood, another robin bleeding out in your palms. You shuddered.

You didn't want to find out.

~ ~ ~ ~

Adjusting to two new additions to your bond was a little strange. All your bonds so far had been birth ones, formed at the start of your existence (with the exception of Robin, which formed when Robin started his life). Spoiler and Orphan were delayed bonds, also known as fated bonds. They started later in life, generally after significant events, but they can just randomly pop up too.

Were you going to get a new bond every time Batman trained a new vigilante? Was being a vigilante a requirement? That has some odd implications for you, actually.

You didn't really want to become a ‘hero’.

Enough of that. A few days had passed since the emergence of your two new bonds, and you suspected that the rest of your soulmates had found the change to be about as surprising as you did.

You could tell, because for the first time in a literal month, you were alone! No bat watching from a corner, no bird fluttering around you. Just you, and complete, lovely, isolation.

Honestly, it was so quiet you were a little unnerved. You had gotten so used to the constant chirping and fluttering of wings.

As a result, you've left the house.

You enjoy a nice walk, taking in the sights you usually rush over. Settling into a coffee shop, you treat yourself to a cookie. It was fun just to enjoy the atmosphere for once, without the paranoia of having what occasionally felt like a literal flock of birds following you around.

You've almost finished your drink when a shadow falls over you. A lean man stands before you, clutching a coffee to himself as if it contained the secrets to life. You blink.

“Sorry, I was wondering if I could sit with you?” He gestured to the cafe, and you noticed all the other seats were occupied. Huh, you were so busy being infatuated with your current freedom that you didn't even notice.

“Ah, yeah that's fine.” You replied, giving a small smile.

He smiled back, settling down and pulling out a laptop. Your time passes in simple peace, him on his laptop, and you on your phone. A scuttering noise drew you away from your scrolling though, and you looked up to see a familiar scene.

A blue bird had landed on the man’s coffee, shaking it as if it was trying to knock it over. The laptop man was fighting back though, doing his best to preserve it.

“Ah.” You muttered, staring. They both turned to look at you, exactly at the same time. It was a little creepy.

“Apologies for disturbing you.” Coffee man said. The blue bird jumped off the coffee, turning to you.

“It's alright. Is that your soul animal?” You replied, watching the bird hop closer.

“Ah yeah, he is. My family can be annoying about my caffeine intake sometimes.” There was a pause. “He seems quite interested in you, though.” There was a question in that statement, and you had the inkling that this was leading up to something you wouldn't like.

“What type of animal is it? I can tell it's some type of bird but..” The bird had reached you now, hopping onto your raised hand.

“It's a raven…” The man continued on, starting a tangent about raven facts, but you were too distracted to listen. Instead, you were fixated on the bird that was nuzzling your hand in a very familiar manner.

A bird that wasn't a raven. A bird that recognised you.

A bird that was a robin.

Wing.

You felt like both laughing and crying. Here you are, celebrating finally getting some space from your soulmates, and you meet one? How ridiculous. This was a nightmare.

You need to leave, immediately.

You stood up, your chair making an awful screech as you did so. Coffee man looked a bit surprised, as you peeled Wing off you and handed it to him.

“Sorry about that.” You smiled. “I had some extra bird seed on me from feeding some birds today. Perhaps your soul animal could tell. I've got to be going though, maybe I'll see you some other time.” And with that, you start marching out the shop.

Maybe your behavior was suspicious, but you really couldn't afford to stick around. All it took was for one of your soul animals to appear on you and the game would be up. He’d instantly know that the soul animal would have appeared from your side of the connection. It would be over, the efforts of years upon years.

You couldn't let that happen.

“Wait!” A voice called out, the tapping of footsteps following. You swung back around, meeting the gaze of your soulmate. He extended a card to you.

“This is my number, perhaps we can text in the future. I know we didn't really talk, but I enjoyed your company.” He smiled. It would have been a nice scene if the sight didn't make your gut twist.

You took the card.

“Oh! And before I forget, my name’s Tim.”

You answered back, giving your name.

You prayed that he assumed the shakes of your body were due to the cold.

----

And that's the second chapter! Woohoo! Hope you all enjoyed it, since the third chapter is already half way done! I'm rather excited for it haha ^ ^

As always, feel free to reach out!

[godspeedviper]

Christian Woman - Jonathan Crane x Preacher's Daughter Reader (+18)

𖤐 Synopsis: Jonathan Crane and the preacher’s daughter drive up to a lover’s lane in an old truck with the intention of indulging the Devil on this hot summer evening.

𖤐 Type: Established Relationship || Fluff and Smut

𖤐 Word Count: 826

𖤐 Rating: Mature || PiV || Underage drinking and smoking

𖤐 A/N: This is the second work in the preacher's daughter series! (Yes, I'm making it a series!) First work can be found here

Forgive her,

For she knows not what she does.

  One summer night – the moon was full yet the sun hadn’t fully set – the cicadas and grasshoppers and frogs all sang the song of the south, of lust, of heat. Tithonus’ hymn to Aphrodite. We drove out into the fields on her daddy’s old pickup truck, stopping at the edge of town where the terror of the Appalachians met the terrors of small town farmland, a symbolic sort of crossroads upon which to meet with the Devil and sin. 

  Sin! Sin! Sin! Oh! The Devil was ever-present in the south, you could feel his oppressive presence in the humidity, see his glowing red eyes nestled in the tall grass watching as you walked to and fro. God should forgive us for succumbing to his temptations, for the Devil was our neighbor, how could we not give in? 

A cross upon her bedroom wall

From grace, she will fall.

An image burning in her mind

And between her thighs.

  A crucified scarecrow bore witness to our consummation, watching solemnly from its post – I feel that way now, condemned to reminisce but not partake – but in the heat of the moment we paid it no mind. Through the veneer of love, everything is beautiful. Through the hunger of lust, everything can be devoured, and I was all mouth. A thick sheen of sweat coated her from head to toe, giving her skin a pearlescent glow that made me believe in divinity, even if only for a moment. Perhaps God was not to be found in the pages of the Bible or even in the pews of a church. Perhaps God was inside of her all along. 

Before him, beg to serve or please

On your back or knees

She looked at me as I undressed with a reverence I’ve not seen even amongst the most pious; I was her God and she was my salvation. 

“Fuck me,” she said. 

  Oh how sweet those foul lips taste! There is bliss in the profane. Perhaps this was the moment in which I became what I am today, where I first tasted the fruits of misbehavior. My inexperienced hands roamed her body like spiders, propelled by natural instinct alone, frantically running through every curve and crevasse. At long last my hands found purchase in her hair, holding the strands like reigns as I chased my orgasm at full gallop, thrusting into her with reckless abandon. I watched her eyes roll into the back of her head like a woman possessed and felt her body press into mine as her spine arched up off the bed of the truck. Her legs then wrapped around my hips, ensnaring me like game; she always was a good hunter. 

She’d like to know God

Love God

Feel, feel, feel her God

Inside of her

Deep inside of her.

“You’re going to Hell, Jonathan Crane.” She said with a giggle as I lit her cigarette, a tried and true cliche. “Fuckin’ the preacher’s daughter and providin’ her with smokes n’ drink. What a bad boy you are!” 

“If I’m goin’ to Hell it will be on your heels, my dear Eurydice.” I leaned in close to her and lit my own cigarette with the burning end of hers, gently cupping her face in one hand. 

“You ain’t no Orpheus,” she scoffed. “You’re too smart, and shit at the guitar let alone a lyre.” 

“And you ain’t no paragon of justice either.” I teased.

I got up off the bed of the truck and went around to the passenger side, folding the seat forward to pull out the small red cooler sitting on the back seat. I cranked the volume up on the dashboard, the music blaring out of the old speakers, and I jumped back onto the bed of the truck, one hand outstretched to offer her a drink. 

“O dreaded Persephone! Will you have me as your Hades?” 

“Hell yeah.” She replied, bumping her drink to mine. “Cheers!” 

In a town so steeped in religion, blasphemy felt like freedom. We had carved out this little pocket of existence for ourselves, outside of town, outside of our daily troubles. I stood up, outstretched my arms like a cross, and began to sing along to the music blaring from inside the vehicle. 

Jesus Christ looks like me

Jesus Christ, yeah

Jesus Christ looks like me

Jesus Christ, ah

Her laugh echoes through my mind, haunting my memories though her name has long since turned to ash in my mouth. That was the one and only time I felt any semblance of true confidence in myself, and the only time I was ever truly loved. This was the point of inception for The Scarecrow. The God of Fear born out of the only moment of confidence in my life. And so, I look into the rusty old mirror, and slip on the burlap mask.

"Jesus Christ looks like me." 

Ao3 || Ko-Fi || Submit

[alittlebitofloveliness]

Curly Shepard headcanons

-Once fought a seagull that tried to steal his fries and lost

-Undiagnosed autistic and ADHD (it’s the 60s, duh)

-Can and will do anything to get out of having to do English homework 

-His dad gave him so many concussions as a kid that Tim legitimately worries he has brain damage (but Curly just thinks he’s dumb)

-Is as fascinated by Ponyboy Curtis as Ponyboy Curtis is (seemingly) indifferent to him

-Physically incapable of shutting up even when he really REALLY should

-Is super close with Angela

-Is well aware Angela is scarier than he ever will be. Refuses to ever admit it

-Once got suspended from school because he cut the legs off a bunch of grasshoppers and put them on his teachers desk. He called them ‘grass walkers’ and thought he was hilarious

-Can’t stand Johnny Cade and Johnny Cade can’t stand him. Neither of them know why 

-The first and only time he went to a hospital is when he broke his arm falling off that telephone pole and that was only because the bone was coming out of the skin

-Will do literally anything to get Ponyboy Curtis’ attention. It doesn’t have to be good attention— he just needs Ponyboy to be looking at him with those huge green eyes as much as humanly possible

-Favourite foods are chorizo and red twizzlers

-Has beat up every single one of Angela’s ex boyfriends

-Hates the colour yellow

-Angela’s nickname is Angel, but when Curly’s mad at her he calls her ‘devil’ instead

-Will fight ANYONE who mentions his height (except Tim ‘cause he’s kinda scared of Tim)

-Once stabbed himself in the hand playing the knife game (yet another injury Angela helped him hide from Tim)

-Will paint Angela’s nails for her but only if she bribes him

-Is EXTREMELY good at first aid. Like, can make a tourniquet or a sling out of anything. Everyone thinks it’s because he��s had to patch himself up after he hurts himself in dumb ways, but really it’s because he took a couple free courses at the YMCA he never told anyone about. The instructor actually really liked him, because he actually tried and didn't cause problems even once

-Is the only person in living memory to win against Tim in poker, and it won him a stupid amount of respect from the rest of the Shepard gang. Tim maintains he cheated (he did not)

-Will never admit it but still loves when Tim ruffles his hair (one of the very few ways Tim ever shows his affection)

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lmk what character you want me to do next!

[herpsandbirds]

hello, I was at Virginia beach yesterday and in the afternoon we got totally swarmed by grasshoppers! I’ve never seen this before despite going to the same beach each summer! posted on inat but no one has suggested an id so I wanted to ask you! some of them had pink/red inside their legs but you can’t really tell from the photo:

thank you!!

Grasshopper ID - VA, USA:

Hello, yes, this is a Differential Grasshopper (Melanoplus differentialis), family Acrididae.

They are known to swarm like this, much to the chagrin of some gardeners and farmers.

[bogleech]

REVIEWING THIS WHOLE BAG OF RUBBER BUGS:

I mentioned recently that bags of cheap rubber bugs are harder to come by in real stores, but that there are a few options for them online. I just received this set from Aliexpress that’s currently only $4 with free shipping, you might even find the same set cheaper since there’s multiple listings for it, but I can verify this source is using an accurate photo and I am now going to REVIEW THEM:

SPIDER: obligatory, all-purpose spider, ambiguous species, noodly legs, minimal paint application, 3/5

COCKROACH: nice silky black coloration on the back, tan on the underside, rather haphazard leg pose, I like it but in terms of objective quality it’s unfortunately a 2/5 compared to other fake roaches and even to other bugs in this set.

DRAGONFLIES: so this set is definitely pieced together from what were once multiple different rubber bug sets, but I can also confirm that you always get the same selection I’m reviewing, which includes several redundancies. You get both a large and small dragonfly with entirely different sculpts, the smaller one more accurately sculpted but not as dynamically painted! Both I’d give a 3/5, adequate dragonflies

ORTHOPTERA: you get a cricket AND two different styles of grasshopper! The big, detailed black and red cricket is crudely painted but very unique, 3.5/5. The small grasshopper is cute and inoffensive, barely painted, 3/5. The large grasshopper is a 4/5 for me because while I’ve seen plenty like it, it has a really nice gradient from lime green to a darker grassier green that I just find very pleasant.

BEES: two very differently sculpted bees, and they both use a sparkly metallic gold with black stripes. Both deserve a 4/5.

ANTS: collectively I’m gonna say these are a 3.5/5, on their own very plain but I like that together you have a dull yellow-tan ant with comical googly eyes and a bigger, more ominous shiny black ant with spooky red eyes. I like that the black ant is also tied with a couple others as the largest bug in the set. It’s actually only slightly larger than the real life Giant Amazonian ant, Dinoponera, which is also entirely black.

MANTIDS: excellent choice for another double bug, I like the simple cheapness of the little one with its awkwardly sculpted forelegs but to fair it’s a 2/5 compared to the 4/5 of the larger, red-eyed mantis which has more of that “sparkly” paint style!

SCORPIONS: the only other arachnids in the set, and it’s amazing they included two different scorpions but only one spider. Trust me when I say that’s the most radical maverick decision a rubber bug set has ever made in the history of mankind. The small red scorpion is alright, a 3 I guess. The larger one has only six legs which is not accurate (the claws of a scorpion are modified mouthparts, not legs!) but I can’t look at its little black eyes and not want to cry so 5/5 actually.

CICADA: not terribly common in these! Charming, chunky brown cicada, though the thorax piece is so transparent you can always see the hole it plugs into. At one time, this sculpt may have been part of a higher quality set that actually painted over this design flaw. 4/5 regardless.

FLY: there’s a pattern here in which almost every flying insect in the set has a gold-brown base, which I’m not a big fan of. Sadly I’m overall neutral on this fly, normally my favorite of all the basic insects, perhaps because it looks just as much like some sort of wasp. It’s definitely a fly due to having only one pair of wings, and plenty of flies look exactly like this, but I’d just be a bigger fan if it was a chunkier, larger-eyed blowfly or horsefly. 2.5/5

UNKNOWN: there are actually several insects this could possibly represent including a few Lepidoptera and Hymenoptera, but the one insect it most closely resembles is an adult caddisfly. I like it, but it’s difficult to fairly judge it with no certain identification so 3/5 has to do.

HAWKMOTH: stellar choice! I’ve seen only one cheap-grade plastic hawkmoth in my whole life, actually! Several hawkmoths are even clear-winged, though those usually still have dark markings around the wing edges. Would’ve been more accurate to some real species if they just cast the wings in a solid color, but that’s a trivial criticism. 5/5

WASP: the wasp is SO good. The paint on this one is skewed funny but that’s fine, the green of the abdomen pops really well and I love the grouchy red eyes. 5/5

CATERPILLAR: larvae are so rarely included in these, and when they are, they’re often an incredibly plain segmented tube that doesn’t look like anything in particular, or a recolor of a generic caterpillar I’ve seen several times before. This caterpillar sculpt is actually new to me and nicely shaped, with a tapering body and accurate limbs. It is however a rather stiff hunk of plastic, not as rubbery as the others, and honestly this is the one you would want rubberiest! Still a 5/5 for its inclusion at all.

BEETLE: beetles are the most abundant, diverse insect group and the most common rubber bug toy after spiders, so it’s another bold move that they include only one in this whole set and it isn’t even one of the more recognizable, more famous beetles. On its own merits as just a rubber beetle it’s a 3/5, but its metallic blue stands out so nicely in this set, and the sculpt appears to be some sort of blister beetle, a rare choice and a very cool (but dangerous! Don’t touch them!!!) insect group so 5/5

MOSQUITO: mosquitoes are another of my favorite animal groups, and as one of the world’s most abundant, most recognized, most controversial insects you’d think they’d be a standard bug toy already, but this is only the third plastic mosquito design I’ve ever seen in my entire long life! It’s brown, unpainted, dinky and bent funny. 10/5

[threepandas]

Bad End, Chosen: Part 3

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The Dark Lord's castle was under seige... but it it felt very far away. Most things did, these days. Cacophonous booms and terrible screams wrent the air, somewhere beyond the greeting chamber's walls. People were dying. Monsters were dying. I... I should care. D..Did I care? I could not remember anymore.

A warm hand continued to pet my head.

My Grandmaster sat upon his throne. Unamused. There were pests that would not die. They stood in our way, he said. I... I could not understand. Yes, Grandmaster. Of course, Grandmaster. (I was so far away, Grandmaster. My body did not feel real. Nor my own. Had I left? Why?)

The world shook. Again and again. An irritated inhale from above me. Grandmaster did not like wasteful, showy, displays of power. They were needless peacocking, he said. Yet... yet my Failure Master enjoyed them. Said magic was to be enjoyed. Meant to be shared. A gift.

But he was a Failure Master.

We do not need him.

.....my head hurt. Grandmaster was kind though. Loved me so very, very much. He stroked my hurting head, as I sat, pretty and leaning against him, at his feet. A good Grandlearner. Dressed in soft and beautiful robes. Dark as night. Red, red, RED as the blood of my me-!

My headache spiked. I winced. Pretty jewels tinkling softly as the thought slipped away. Or... at least... I THINK I was thinking a thought? Was I? Probably not. My head hurts.

It's easier not to think.

I turn my face, to tuck it against my Grandmaster's leg. The soft fabric of his leggings is, as always, cool and blissfully fresh against my face. It is a miracle the delicate, ornate accessories I wear don't catch on something. Like so many drops of blood. The thought tries so desperately to catch, but there is nothing to hold. My mind is mist.

A pleased noise, as my Grandmaster stokes my hair.

I am a Good Grandlearner.

The grand doors crashed open. A painfully loud noise that spears my aching head. The sounds of battle have slowly grown more and more distant. Running feet. They are here. The wretched Beloved. Here to end this little play. Why... why does it feel like hope? I hate them. I feel nothing. I miss one.

My... my head hurts.

"MASTER! It ENDS TO-!" Shouts a familiar voice. Once, it was family in this unfamiliar world. Or at least... I had hoped it would be. "....no. Learner. You... YOU MONSTER! Master, what have you DONE TO HER!?"

There is such horror in his voice. Such grief. As though I am already dead. Truely... truely he IS a Failure Master. That he would not even fight for me. That I would, only now, become relevant again. Master... oh my Master... am I nothing but a prop in your story? Motivation for you to fight on? You do not even see me... do you?

"Disgusting."

My Grandmaster has finally lost his patience. Rising to his feet. Not as my Master's Master. But as Alaric Blight, the Arch-Mage of Red, Dark Lord, and final boss of the game. With him, the cycle will begin again. But oh... OH. His wrath is a terrible thing.

The so called Heros have gathered behind my Failure Master. SHE is there. Short hair the color of sunlight, eyes like dawn. Her mere presence cuts through the mist that has swallowed my mind. Slowly, relentlessly, but enough. I can... can claw my way.. with bloody mental hands... to something like aware.

I wish I could laugh.

She looks so delicately horrified. A proper Protagonist facing "horrors". Ha ha... this? Oh, little Saint. This is nothing. They made you weak by shielding you. And now? Now we may all die for it. I... I hope your love story was worth it. Now die, so this can finally end.

The battle is pathetic. Not a single one of them worth even a fraction of the brave souls that once gave their lives for me. For their kingdom and countrymen. They flail and jump around like grasshoppers. Call out attacks like children trying to impress. But dispite it all... they have the very GODS on their side. And it holds an unfair advantage.

One that they ultimately? Waste.

Die. Like vermin. And I can not even be glad for it. Because I know they have learned nothing. WILL learn nothing. They will continue on to be selfish and spoiled forever. Favored children at the cost of us all.

But... they did free me. And for that? I can almost forgive them. Almost. The so called "assassin" dropped one of his blades. More like flung them everywhere. But it makes no difference. It is close enough. I do not watch as my Grandmaster gives his speech. Sneering down at the God's favorite brat. She offends him on a visceral level.

He plans to rip out her heart. Make me EAT it to steal some of her power.

If she is not dead, the cycle does not yet repeat. And he is more then powerful enough to keep her alive with out vital organs. But... but I know. I KNOW! He can not TRUELY bring back the dead. Only their meat, in shambling and mindless service. He is distracted. And I?

I Will Be Free.

The knife is sharp. So fine it barely hurts. But oh, oh it takes everything I am not to choke loud enough to be heard. He would turn. Stop my death. I... I can not allow that. It will take mere moments. After all, once and deep, right across the neck. Already I feel cold. My eyesight grey and limbs weak. The knife falls to my lap, the noise muffled by the ornate skirts.

He turns too late, a heart in his hand, to see I have defied him. Bidded my time. I am not weak. Not so easily kept and conquered, Dark Lord. I fought to defy you. I... defy.. y..ou... sti..ll....

And so the Cycle Ends. And So it Begins.

The Gods don't have all the Endings yet.

[jonnysinsectcatalogue]

Insect Highlights of 2023

With the new year celebrations scheduled for this weekend, I thought it best to share some of my favorite insect specimens from this year, rather than one single typed of insect. The pictures here haven't been uploaded to the blog in a post, so today they can all share the spotlight. There are many familiar faces here and all of them are incredible and beautiful creatures. Hopefully there are even more insect delights and finds to enjoy in the upcoming year. To ring in the new year, we have the following insects:

Monarch Butterfly - Danaus plexippus - Order Lepidoptera (August 7th)

Green “Goldeneye” Lacewing - Chrysopa oculata - Order Neuroptera (July 26th)

Carolina Locust - Dissosteria carolina - Order Orthoptera (August 20th)

Dog-Day Cicada - Phymata pennsylvanica - Order Hemiptera (August 24th)

Milkweed Beetle - Tetraopes tetrophthalmus - Order Coleoptera (July 9th)

Red-Legged Grasshopper - Melanopus femurrubrum - Order Orthoptera (September 13th)

Eastern Carpenter Bee - Xylocopa virginica - Order Hymenoptera (June 5th)

Five-Banded Thynnid Wasp - Myzinum quinquecinctum - Order Hymenoptera (August 7th)

Jagged Ambush Bug - Phymata pennsylvanica - Order Hemiptera (August 20th)

Transverse Hoverfly - Eristalis transversa - Order Diptera (August 8th)

All pictures here were taken in 2023 with a Google Pixel 4.

Wishing everyone a very Happy New Year and a great 2024! And thank you everyone for making this a wonderful year of insects!

[curi0us-gh0st]

Shameless (Park Yeonjin, Lee Sara, Choi Hyejeong)

pairings: Choi Hyejeong x Fem!Reader, Park Yeonjin x Fem!Reader, Park Yeonjin x Fem!Reader x Choi Hyejeong, Park Yeonjin x Fem!Reader x Lee Sara (Is this the order?

word count: 1,2k

genre: smut, smut, smut, smut... and smut!

summary: You didn't care if any neighbors could hear, being fucked without a brain made it impossible to think coherently.

warnings: sex without plot (?), use of strap-on and vibrator, pussy slapping, superficial choking, overstimulation, quick mommy kink, insinuation about procreation, exhibitionism, anal, double penetration, degradation, dirty talk, fingering, brief mention of marijuana, etc. [no review| translation is fucked]

a/n: Okay, they are the red flags that I would literally give them without thinking twice... Posting so as not to say that I am literally a ghost lol

"Oh, look what she's doing!" Hyejeong announced, seeing her pussy come heavily, the moans increased during this torture of overstimulation. It was one, two, three, he barely knew where to be.

You don't need to ask why you are that way, your attitude with the intention of just playing with the bad-tempered way they made you is in that position, completely without any shame. Her head buried in the sofa, her body naked as the cold breeze hit her body and fingers entering her greedy and hungry pussy, she could be sad about this senseless punishment but confess that she is loving reaching the limit.

"You really are a bitch!" Yeonjin pulled her hair hard, completely bewildered, she didn't know how many times in that time she had cum so quickly. What she took now was the simple fact that you left the room in almost transparent clothes when Sara called you to take a bath in the pool.

The porch being illuminated by the yellowish light of Lee's house, the sound of grasshoppers, frogs and their moans. Your eyes almost popped out when you saw her with a big, thick strap on, she smiled naughty, pulling Choi and his fingers away from you, making her moan from the lack of contact, she turned you around to leave you with her chest up, a layer of sweat covering his body, some strands sticking to his forehead, his skin stained by hickeys and bites.

"I'm going to eat you until you can't take it anymore!" A slap was delivered to her soaked pussy, making her let out a loud and painful scream, that spot was so sensitive. "My little slut. Are you going to swallow Mommy's cock pretty girl?" His mouth on her neck kissing him, the fat tip of the toy teasing her entrance. "Are you going to show Sara what a good job you're doing?" She moaned with the speech, her eyes being glued to the woman who was smoking her cigarette, looking firmly at her naked body while Hyejeong had her fingers stuck in her pussy in search of relief.

"Y-yes, I will!" She claimed, the cock being pushed mercilessly inside her pussy, a drawn out moan, her punching the strap without any pity, her hips pounding frantically at a fast pace, the violent thrusts that were making her squirm. "Yeonjin!" She screamed with the movement she made, placing one of her legs on her shoulder, giving way to fuck her even deeper, hitting spots she didn't even know she had, she laughed at her desperation.

"Oh honey, you're making too much noise." She said placing her hands on his waist. "Don't you think so, Sara?" She asked making her eyes focus on the woman who was mesmerized by the most pornographic scene in front of her, she swallowed hard at the question — still buoyant from the marijuana she was smoking.

"Yes, the neighbors might complain about that." She replied and looked at Hyejeong. "Why don't you shut her up?" She proposed, Choi moaned in response, taking her fingers out of herself and walked towards the women, placing herself on top of you, she was on all fours, those mounds on her face that she didn't let go, sucking them causing the woman to moan , her ass hitting Park's torso causing friction to her pussy.

"Fuck you little bitch!" She moaned seeing you suck hard, your lips wrapping around her breast, her tongue running over the hard nipple while her free hand pinched her other breast. "You look like a hungry baby." Hyejeong brushed the strands of hair out of her face. "You like it when you get fucked like that, right?" She smiled devilishly, a loud moan left her lips feeling on edge again.

"I-I'm going to cum again!" She announced with eyes full of tears, held Hyejeong's waist, penetrating three fingers into her pussy. "And you're coming with me..." He bit her lips, a rough and thirsty kiss, his fingers being embraced by her hot and wet insides, Yeonjin slapping Choi's fat ass and focusing on making her cum, a unison moan from you feeling your insides exploding with pleasure cumming once again that night. Park stood up watching Hyejeong on top of you, both of them weak and tired, she smiled.

"You look so good together, two sex-crazed sluts." You smiled smugly before walking into the house, while hugging Choi's body, Lee's eyes eating you up by sight, she was so wet from the latest things she was seeing, you guys being completely fucked moaning Yeonjin's name, you moaning for them. When Park came back, she didn't come back alone, she was holding another strap and went back to Sara. "Put." She ordered and she just obeyed.

She took off pants and put on dick, only wearing his white dress blouse, unlike the three of you who were completely naked in the open air, the heat of someone watching them fucking was completely exciting, after Lee put it on, Yeonjin told her to sit where you were and did so. "So, Y/N here." She pointed to Sara, you left Hyejeong and sat on Lee. "Hyejeong here." She lay down next to you, Park placed a vibrator inside the woman's pussy making her moan, holding it tight. "You stupid little girl, we're going to fuck your ass and your pussy."

Sara fitted herself at your entrance, while Yeonjin began to penetrate your tight hole, both trying to fit inside you, starting — or at least trying — a rhythm so that the two of you came in and out together, your insides squeezed. by them, his arms holding onto Lee who had her lips on his neck mistreating him, while Yeonjin pressed her breasts against his back and pushing her waist to sit on the dicks while pressing the vibrator on Hyejeong, her eyes that met they were filled with tears.

Sly moans filled the place, the smell of sex, bodies going as hard as they could, you came with Hyejeong but the women didn't stop, their eyes crying from so much stimulation. "Yeonjin! Sara!" She called for them so sensitively. "S-slower! P-please! Ah!" She moaned desperately.

"I have a surprise for you.." She spoke close to her neck. "Do you want all of our cum?" She bit off a piece of her skin. "Do you want to have our seeds in you?" She asked wrapping her hand around her neck, squeezing it.

"Ah! Yes! I want your cum filling me up" She replied slyly, the women and their movements reaching their insides with their thick and sticky liquids, filling their holes completely, their lips being taken by Sara, a kiss sweetly caressing her face delicately as if it were the most precious thing in the world, they slowly withdrew from her inside, her head resting on Lee's shoulder, Yeonjin sitting next to her caressing Hyejeong who was almost completely asleep, breathing panting, the temperature returning to normal, they felt the liquids coming out of their holes, biting their lips, so exciting.

"Are you okay? Were you hurt?" Sara whispered, kissing her cheek. "I'm fine, you guys were great." She smiled, moving her face away to see them all. "I'm almost sure I won't be able to sit down.." She said, making them laugh.

"You started!" Hyejeong accused. "We wouldn't be fucked like this if you hadn't come up with the idea of us wearing almost see-through nightgowns."

"Doesn't sound like a complaint to me." Yeonjin told Sara that she agreed. "Let's go inside before we catch a cold or someone shows up, Doyeong must have already called." Sara held her on her lap taking her inside and Park helped Hyejeong walk into the house.

[a-book-of-creatures]

I'm running a tabletop RPG campaign where the characters are interacting with folklore creatures from around the world. Do you have any suggestions? Benevolent, scary, weird...

(please avoid things that are sacred I'm using them in a trpg)

Hrm… have you considered asking @thecreaturecodex ? She knows all about that sort of thing. I wouldn’t know an RPG if it crawled up my legs and bit me in the face.

Creatures from around the world though, that’s not very specific… I can think of some random ones I’ve covered over the years, I guess???

The Vatnagedda (Iceland) or Loch Pike looks like a furry golden flounder that lives in lakes. It is so poisonous that merely touching it is deadly, and a dead one can corrode its way through organic and inorganic matter. In fact even ghosts are afraid of it, and one of those buried at the doorstep of a house will keep them away. It can only be held safely with humanskin or skateskin gloves, and wrapped in human and calf cauls.

The Zankallala (Hausa) is a little gnomish being who has a bee swarm for a hat, a snake for a walking stick, scorpions for spurs, and a jerboa for a mount. It is accompanied by birds who sing about how amazing it is. It can effortlessly kill monsters and protects those attacked by them.

The Colôrobètch (Wallonia) is the personification of the winter wind. It sneaks up on children who haven't bundled up enough and nips at their faces with its beak, leaving red, cracked, painful skin behind.

Haakapainiži (Kawaiisu) or Grasshopper is an ogre who captures children and stores them in a basket to eat later. He uses the sharp spikes on his legs to gouge out people's eyes. He can also shapeshift, taking on the form of a harmless old man or a swarm of grasshoppers.

The Zabraq (Middle East) can leap 30-50 cubits in a single bound. Its urine and feces are highly caustic, and it flings them with its tail to kill its prey. If its prey escapes it by climbing a tree, it roars in fury until it vomits blood and dies.

<blocks your path>

[kingofthe-egirls]

pspspspsps love, I have another one-

phone sex with Luffy?😶

hnnnnnngggg thank youuuu

PHONE SEX: LUFFY x Y/N

modern au

(cw: facetime, modern au, pet names, long distance relationship, dirty talk, phone sex, mutual masturbation, toys, this is now part of my modern au mma!luffy series lmao, this is from Luffy's pov)

Songs: "Big God" by Florence + the Machine

words: 1.7k

"Baaaabe," Luffy whines, on the other end of your FaceTime.

He's kneeling on a hotel bed, phone propped up by a scuffed, metal water bottle. There are stickers emblazoned all over the shiny red: mostly ads from sponsors, his own straw hat skull-and-crossbones, plus a sticker of a cool katana Zoro had found for him. He's watching you bite your lip through the screen of his phone, far too small and rectangular to capture the fact of yourself. He hates long distance.

But he'll be home in a week, and then you can come visit.

"Hey, Luffy," you smile, glittering through the screen. He wants you here, now. You flick your hair over your shoulder, leaning down on the couch with your arm resting along the back. You prop your chin in one hand. 

Luffy eyes you up and down: from your face to just below your collarbones, the lamplight behind you, and the top of the couch is all he can see. "Put the phone down, baby," he pants, already heavy with lust. He misses your sweet cunt so bad. "I wanna see all of ya," he whines. You giggle, and step forward to set your phone on the coffee table in front of you. Now, Luffy can see you sitting back on the couch, in pajama shorts and a tank top. Your legs are really cute, he thinks, as you bring them up to sit cross-legged in between the couch cushions. You sink in, slightly.

Luffy giggles, "Comfy there, princess?" 

You blush.

"I like the in-between," you defend yourself, slouching back farther and sinking in like quicksand. Luffy laughs, out loud. He likes how silly are, sometimes. Other times, he wants to see you gagged on his cock. (But oh well, you'd probably make him laugh with his dick halfway down your throat, anyway). You kick your feet.

"But then I can't see ya," he whines, palming the front of his red boxers. "I wanna play, kitten." He hooks his thumb into the waistband, and drags them down an inch. Your eyes go wide, and he grins.

"Okay," you agree, immediately. You're already pulling your shirt halfway over your head, curled like a shrimp into the couch cushions. You shriek, caught, and kick your legs like a grasshopper trying to get out. Luffy cackles, bending forward to screenshot your call.

"You're like a beetle," he grins, saving a new photo to his favorites, "That got turned upside down."

"'M not a beetle!" You shout, having knelt up on the cushions to push them back roughly together. You're bent over, one leg on the floor and the other still on the couch. He watches your ass fill the screen, appreciating the tiny booty shorts you're wearing to bed. They're hot pink with a neon stripe down each side.

"Cute as a beetle," he counters, biting his lip. His hard cock is straining against his boxers, now, and he can't wait to just bend you over and rail you from behind. Damn, this week is gonna be a lifetime waiting for you to come visit him. He'll have to fly you out first class, no questions asked. (Maybe your girlfriend might wanna come, too).

But he files that thought away for later, watching you sit back down with a huff, now in nothing but your sports bra. He flicks an eyebrow.

"So, ya gonna strip for me?"

You laugh, pulling at the elastic strap as it digs into your shoulder. He can see your tits spilling out from the too-small bra. He fights back a moan, but just barely. He watches you skim your hands over every hill and valley in your voluptuous body. He fucking loves your curves.

You lean forward towards the camera, letting your cleavage spill out nice and close for him to see. You giggle, "Wanna see a titty drop?"

He chokes out a laugh, and then, "Please."

You smirk, knowing full well what you do to him, and slowly lift your bra up from the bottom. You pull upward, exposing the underside of your breasts, before releasing them completely so they bounce back down against your chest. He licks his lips.

"Do that again."

And you do.

He watches with glassy eyes as you slowly, meticulously, bring your sports bra back down, black and stretched out over your frame. You bounce a little, in your seat. He gasps.

"C'mon, man," his voice cracks, "That's just not fair."

You laugh, pleased. He tilts his head, "Don'tcha do this professionally? What are your like, signature moves?" He kneels back on the bed, running a hand through his hair.

You hum, throwing your own hair up into a bun. You don't like when it touches your bare skin, apparently. ADHD thing, he figures.

"Well, you just saw one," you smile slightly as you readjust in your seat. You're sitting with one leg under you, the other draped over the side of the couch. You pull at the bottom of your sports bra, and he moans as he watches you slowly strip for him.

You bend over, leaning against the back of the couch, your ass spread nice and wide for him. "Such a good fucking ass," he praises you, and you turn over your shoulder to smile at the screen.

"Wanna leave your handprint on it?" You ask wryly, bending over more and hitching your shorts up higher, so barely anything is left covered. He sees your glistening slick through the thin fabric. He wants to touch.

"Fuck yes," he breathes, reaching inside his shorts, "Take those off."

"Yes, sir," you reply daintily, turning to slide your own shorts over your hips. He watches the pink fabric slip down your legs, revealing the crease of your hips and your sweet inner thigh as you do. Fuck it, he decides, he wants to taste. You sit down with a satisfied, smug grin. "That's my second move," you flick your eyes up and down your phone screen, no doubt taking in the sight of him fisting his cock over you. Luffy tugs his shorts the rest of the way down, and you gasp.

"That's my first," he says, grinning, "Well, the first is calling you, and begging you to strip," he scratches his head. "That's not a very powerful move, is it?" He laughs, sheepishly. Needy, much?

"Not a bad move," you decide, leaning forward to pick up the phone. He gets a closeup shot of your face again. You’re smiling, shy, holding the phone high enough so he can see your gorgeous tits splay out to either side of your ribcage.

“Your turn!” You say as you settle back down into the couch pillows, supported by the large, canvas armrest. Luffy slides his boxers down all the way, kicking them off his legs and leaving them on the floor.

You moan, and he lights up. “Yeah?” He asks, pumping his cock in a loose fist, “Like whatcha see?”

“Mhmm,” you moan, biting your lip. You reach over to your side, thumping around for a bit, before he hears the sound of a vibrator turning on. He giggles at the buzzing, and you blush.

“Show me,” he teases, and you hold up a lavender clit sucker with light pink buttons. He hums appreciatively. “Pretend it’s my mouth, okay?”

“Yes, daddy,” you chirp, and grin slightly as you place the toy between your legs. You gasp a little as the pressure locks into your clit. Luffy tightens his grasp on his dick.

“So pretty for me, baby,” he coos at you through the phone speaker. He wishes he could breathe it into your ear, halfway buried in your cunt.

Just one more week.

“Daddy’s gonna take such good care of ya,” he moans. He feels himself thicken in his hand. “‘M gonna spoil ya rotten, okay? Don’t gotta worry about a thing, with me,” he grunts, bucking his hips.

He’s watching your flushed face contort in pleasure, taking the vibrations oh so sweetly from your clit sucker. “Show me,” he breathes, speeding up, “Show me what that toy’s doin’ to ya.”

You moan, and lower the camera so that he can see you from the pussy up. Like he’s eating you out.

He groans.

“Fuck baby, ya look so good,” he reaches forward to grab his phone, bringing the screen closer to his face as he screenshots several times. “Can’t fucking wait ta have ya in my mouth again,” his cock twitches at the memory.

He leans his head back, pumping his fist, as he listens to your moans and imagines it’s your mouth on his dick.

“Wantcha right here,” he huffs, chest heating with lust. His eyes are half-lidded, and he has to let go of his cock to push the sweaty hair back from his face. You moan at the sight, bringing the phone back up to your face.

“Can I screenshot you?” You ask, hitching your breath as the buzzing speeds up. He grins, thinking he probably should’ve asked first, but oh well. No time like the present.

“Course,” he says, voice thick, “What about me? Can I screenshot ya? I wanna look back atcha later.” You giggle, and nod. He lets out a sigh of relief. Good.

“Show me your hands?” You ask, hungrily. “Your shoulders, too.”

Luffy grins, more than happy to oblige. He leads the camera down his muscular frame, letting his free hand drape over his chest and abs as he pans the phone down. He focuses on his hips for a bit, slowly pumping his cock in time with your moans. Your breath hitches, and he wishes it was his cock fucking those noises out of you, instead.

He clenches his hand in and out of a fist, wiggling his fingers a little bit. You stare, doe-eyed and dumbfucked as you focus on the hands that have made you cum countless times before. He wishes he could fuck you with his hand again—that’ll be the first thing he does when he gets you in his bed.

“Love your hands, Luffy,” you say, eyes blown as you stare at the phone. He wishes he could kiss you, too. As it is, he smooches at the screen, and you laugh.

“Love you,” he says, feeling warm and fuzzy in the bleach-scented bed. He frowns. “Miss you.”

“Miss you too, baby,” you say, and then, “Love you too.”

He beams.

****

[g0thic-ghost]

NSFW Alphabet :: Billy Lenz

This is my very first NSFW Alphabet, so.. It’s not as great as you (all), expect! Even so, I do accept critique! Anyways, please enjoy and if (somehow) you like this writing you could request a similar one for another Slasher! Warning ⚠️ : Not proof read.

REQUESTS : OPEN

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Billy, he isn’t both bad or good and his aftercare isn’t heaven or hell, it’s more in the middle of all things. Billy will usually finish up by looking down at you and taking in the sight from how he left you all messy, giggling and murmuring stuff.. “OH! Piggy is so cute.. so cute!”, “Dirty piggy!”, etc. But, soon enough he will give you some more love by crawling up to you and giving you sloppy kisses down your body, covering you up with a blanket (or his sweater, if you’re lucky enough). And peer away to his hiding spot, leaving you curled up in a ball in a blanket while panting over the amount of ‘activities’ you had done with Billy. 

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Billy knows what he likes about himself and that is his mouth and hands, from how he’s able to venture his tongue up and down your neck, collarbone, chest, stomach and much more. And his hands because of how he loves squeezing and kneading on your so so soft skin.. What he likes about you is your legs, mostly it being your thighs. From how easy they are to grab and from it’s satisfying squeeze (He goes crazy over the clapping sound they make when he’s having ‘moments’ with you).

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Billy is a messy boy, nasty even! So he tends to cum anywhere he can reach from the position he is in.. When he is behind you with you head buried in the sheets of the bed, he will cum right on your back and run his hand up and down the white liquid, messing with it while mumbling gruesome things. If he’s on-top and facing you, once he’s close he’ll quickly pull out of you and crawl up to you. Cumming right on your face, (He loves the way you gasp in shock from the amount he lets out on your face, and how you quickly turn a flush red).

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Billy has a lot of dirty secrets to keep in, but his most deepest darkest one is that he loves to steal your clothes. His favorite piece of clothe to steal from you being your underwear, especially your recent worn ones.. He can’t help but love the scent you leave off on them, and that soon results into him hiding somewhere and humping against them and moaning you name.. “Ooohhh! Y/N.. Y/N!  M-my.. Little piggy!”.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Billy knows a whole lot of how to have sex, or how it’s done. But when it comes to he himself actually doing it, he Is out of pace and overall messy with everything from how he’s never experienced such things. But, he still makes his way into doing it, just that you will have to teach him how to do everything well and right.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Billy Isn’t picky with the positions you two get in, he loves anything that involves him being able to feel your body close and have himself deep inside you.. Though, he is a fan of such positions as ; Doggy style, Cowgirl, “Grasshopper” and or “Spooning”. 

 G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Billy is serious, in his own way.. He is heavily concentrated on how your body looks and how it reacts to everything he does and he always comments something on it. Which sometimes ends up making you laugh from how he says it or the overall wording he says it in.. “Aaah! My dirty piggy is so precious!” .. ‘pfft- .. Dirty Piggy?’ . But he’s still loving and serious in the situation, even if you think he isn’t.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Billy is almost always in his hiding spots and never goes down until you call him for something important or when you are in the mood, meaning he never dares to get our and ‘waste his time’ shaving himself up. So, he has a quite messy ‘carpet’ and there is slight patches going up his stomach. His hair down ‘there’ is a bit more darker then the actual hair on his head..

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Billy is intimate and loving, yes. Though, in his own way.. He shows his love to you by what he’s doing to you in the moment by thrusting into you, but if he sees you want more he will do so (if he really wants to, that is). He will lean into you and give you hard bites that drool follows through, lick up and down your body. Give you spit-filled kisses and maybe even tell you he loves having sex with you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Billy is very sexually active, well.. With you! He wouldn’t dare to leave his ‘dear piggy’. But when it comes to him being alone with himself he tends to touch himself quite a lot by just a small thought of you or even peering at you through a hole in the wall (or something) and staring right at you while he touches himself.. Sometimes, he will use your underwear and give it some sniffs while he strokes himself in a sloppy and fast manner.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He loves anything that involves him using his mouth, hands or hearing you moan and beg for him.. Not only that but even cry from how much he teases you, so he has quite ‘unique’ kinks such as ; Anilingus/Cunnilingus, Gagging kink, Mommy kink, Distracted sex and has a loving for Somnophilia. 

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Billy is not picky, as said.. He loves anything that involves him being able to touch your body and be deep inside you, so he would do it anywhere with you.. In the kitchen, pressed against the counter? He’ll wrap his arms around your hips and pull you close, humping himself against you while you work on some food. On the couch focused on a book, he will open up your legs and work on your pants until he gets them off and will start to ram himself into you. He will do it anywhere! 

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Billy is easy to turn on, just by thinking of you or imagining your face just makes drool start to form In the corners of his mouth and a slight bulge grow in his pants. But when it comes to actual contact to contact with you, seeing you tired unusually turns him on.. Your sleepy eyes that can barely hold themselves up, your soft yawns, soft and slow breathing coming to you once you start to fall asleep. He loves it! (Explaining the somnophilia).

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Billy hates anything that involves him having to ‘give you away’ to another person and or even having to watch you have sex with someone else, he’s scared that once that ever happens it will keep happening. So, if you ever come up with a threesome.. ‘Hey Billy? .. I was thinking about trying something different, like.. A threeso-‘ , “No! no.. No no no! Piggy only belongs to me! Billy!” He will yell and scream, as he grabs you tightly and quickly wraps his body around yours. “Billy.. Billy is good!” He will say as he starts to claw at his clothes so he could show you that you don’t need two people for pleasure, that him alone is enough.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He loves to receive, watching you as you move your head up and down as tears build up in your eyes. And how he can head your soft gags when he decides to ram himself into your face, but he also likes to give you some pleasure. He loves having his head in between his head as he licks/sucks on you, and how you praise and moan at him or his name.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He’s slow and sensual at the very starting of your special moment, but he will soon become a wild animal from the amount of pleasure he’s getting and will start to become fast and rough by thrusting deep inside you. Which follows with him being sloppy and messy from how he just wants to hit a good spot that will make him feel much much pleasure.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Billy loves the idea and quickies, mostly he causes them. By tugging at your shirt and whispering gruesome words to you of how bad he wants to have you, and the things he wants to do to you.. Soon, starting to hump against you until you finally give in.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Even if Billy loves having sex with you anywhere and or having quickies, he doesn’t like the idea of getting caught with you because it would led to very bad things and possibly not even seeing you ever again. So he stays away from such risks.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Billy has a large sex-drive from how much he imagines such scenarios, touches himself and the held up sexual frustration. So when he got his hands on you he knew he could do whatever he wanted to do, because you couldn’t say no to his begging.. But, usually he lasts for 4 (in a half) rounds until he falls weak on the bed and is a whimpering and over-stimulated mess. Begging for you not to ‘use’ him anymore, but if you keep going he will still hold on as ur expect him to be holding at you for dear life.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Billy likes the idea of toys, yes! Though he would never actually use them because he’s scared if they’ll be too much for you and him.. Unless you beg him and he gives in (For Female reader ; If you ever requested pegging, he would be afraid of how rough you will be because he usually is with you. But once he gets to the actual thing his back is arching and his eyes are rolling in the back of his head. Begging and yelping for more).

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He loves to tease you and watch you get impatient, but if you gets annoyed and or upset he will soon stop and quickly apologize to you.. “Billy is.. Sorry, thought you liked it” .. “It’s okaaay! .. It’s fine Billy, just- don’t do it too much? Now cmonn!”.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’s loud.. Loud moans, whimpering, yelping, crying, mewling, etc. He will make any sound possible to show that he is loving every bit of the moment he is having with you. And not only that, but he mumbles out a lot of things while he’s inside you.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

When he’s in any position that has him looking right down at your face he will not stare away at you and watch your faces contort into faces of pleasure and your mouth opening into an ‘O’ everything you moan, and your eyebrows furrow. He will have a wear to ear grin while drool drips down his teeth and onto his chin.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Billy is about 6 inches and a solid 7 when hard, though he is slightly ‘short’ he is still thick. Billy is uncut and two inches into his base which connects to his top is slightly curved, which always makes rough sex good from how he pokes into you. Billy is average, but he knows how to use himself in someway that makes you feel so much pleasure.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

High! He is very sexual, and in a gruesome way. So he loves anything that involves you two, naked and in the mood which makes you two go crazy and be all over each other.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

You never get to see Billy fall asleep because after sex he immediately ventures off to his hiding spot and you won’t see him after a few hours, but even if you don’t think so.. Once Billy gets where he needs to be, he will immediately fall down onto the ground face first and small asleep. Snoring loudly, from how tired he is from all the rounds you two went through.

[themushroomprince03]

Trying to figure out the exact species of the JATGP bugs (and also cool bug facts!)

(Warning: pictures of bugs)

I’m gonna start with ya boi:

Mr. Grasshopper:

First of all, I love him and I wanna be him

Grasshoppers are the only herbivores of the 6 bugs. Uh. Yeah.

Grasshoppers have camouflage! And they can fly just a little bit, but their strong hind legs do most of the work.

Since Mr. Grasshopper is green and British I’m going to infer that he is a Omocestus viridulus, AKA the common green grasshopper

Literally the same guy.

The common green grasshopper is from Britain, and, like the name suggests, common. Very common, in fact. I think they’re like the second most common grasshopper in Britain (most common one isn’t green)

Mrs. Ladybug!

She’s so sweet msmfjrjgjggjjgfjf

FIRST OF ALL, IN BRITAIN LADYBUGS ARE CALLED “LADYBIRDS”

WHICH IS STUPID BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT FUCKING BIRDS

In related news, ladybugs are actually a type of beetle. Sorry for ruining your life.

Ladybugs eat aphids and scale insects (little tiny insects idk) and also pollen and nectar. Not peaches though.

Anyways considering the fact that she is red and has black spots, I’m gonna say she’s probably a Coccinella septempunctata AKA the Seven-Spotted Ladybug. They are just THE ladybugs of all time.

Very cool. Also easy asf. These ladybugs can play dead when threatened and also they are real pretty.

Mr. Centipede:

Silly billy he’s always been my favourite especially in the book he has a goofy little smile

Centipedes are venomous and carnivores. They eat anything they can overpower with their venom. Centipedes are nocturnal, because they dry out VERY easily in the daytime. They usually either don’t have eyes or have shit eyesight. They also have no ears. They “hear” by sensing vibrations in the ground.

This one was a little bit difficult because centipedes don’t vary all that much, but I’m thinking Lithobius forficatus, AKA the garden/brown/stone centipede.

They have many names. They are also very common, especially in North America and the UK. Garden centipedes are born with 7 pairs of legs, and grow legs throughout their life, maxing out at 15 pairs of legs (they always have an odd number of leg pairs) They live under rocks, and if someone lifts those rocks, these centipedes are in luck, because they’re also very good at running. I THINK they have eyes, but if they do, their eyes can only discern light from dark.

Stone centipedes mostly eat flies, springtails, and, uh. Earthworms. But us JATGP Musical fans knew that

Mrs. Spider:

Y’all know spiders I will not explain them. Also I’m scared of spiders so I will NOT show many pictures of them *shudder*

Mrs. Spider could be literally any spider in France. The only spider that’s black with white stripes like this is a zebra spider (Salticus scenicus) and they don’t actually look like her that much. But they’re cute as fuck❤️

I wish I could show you a picture but mobile Tumblr has a maximum of 10 photos per post, but they’re really cute and fluffy.

Anyways, I feel like she’s more likely to be a Steatoda grossa, AKA Cupboard Spider, but they look more scary so I’m not gonna show photos.

But only the males are black and white.

Fuck uhh

Okayy she’s possibly an Araneus nordmanni, AKA Nordmann’s Orbweaver. They’re really scary and I wanna cry but I’ll try to describe them. Black with brown legs, weird white pattern, giant ass. These spiders do exist in France, but they are very rare. (Not just in France, but in general.) They are VERY GOOD at climbing and tend to build webs high on trees (like in a dead peach tree. Maybe with their mate.) They eat insects like gnats, flies, and wasps. Good for them. I’m still terrified.

Also female Araneus nordmanni are apparently the dominant party in the relationship so…

…yeah she’s definitely a Nordman’s Weaver.

(Edit: user @my-favorites-suffer said she looks like she could be a species of wolf spider!)

Mr. Earthworm:

OH THANK GOD I CAN STOP LOOKING AT SPIDERS AND LOOK AT THESE CUTIE PIE WORMS!!!!

Earthworms are boneless, muscleless, eyeless silly billies. They’re also hermaphrodites (male AND female at the same time) and they can regenerate parts of their bodies (not always so please don’t go around cutting worms in half) They eat fruit, fungi, and anything decaying.

So, I don’t remember the whole movie or the book, but in the musical, Earthworm speaks Spanish sometimes, and his song is vaguely Latin-esque (our director gave him a mariachi jacket for Plump & Juicy. It might not actually be Latin-esque that’s just what I’ve been told if it isn’t then oopsies) so I always thought he was from like Central America, maybe Mexico?

How did a worm get from Mexico to Britain? Guess what: Most earthworms in Mexico are invasive and from other places! Which means it could happen the other way around, but also it means that doesn’t narrow down what species of worm Earthworm is! Fuck!

He’s probably supposed to be a Lumbricus terrestris (The common European Earthworm.)

They are the most common worms. Everywhere. But other than species and location, nothing connects this earthworm to THE Earthworm.

So I propose a much funnier idea: That he is some species of Amynthas.

There isn’t enough info about the Amynthas for me to figure out exactly which species of Amynthas he probably is, but look it has a smooth white clitellum like Earthworm!!

So there are 3 reasons why I feel like Earthworm is an Amynthas. 1. Appearance. 2. They are part of the family Megascolecidae, which are the largest family of earthworms (They do say he is a big worm, although that’s probably because he’s literally human-sized)

And 3. These worms are also called Jumping worms. Because they. Uh.

They jump. When they are scared. It’s REALLY funny.

Most Amynthas are from Asia, but somehow a bunch ended up in Mexico. And now I guess one ended up in Britain. And then New York. Invasive species behaviour. (Actually a lot of the JATGP insects are invasive)

Take your pick of worm!

(Also Glowworm is a Lampyris noctiluca, AKA common glow-worm. If you even care. Nobody cares abt Glowworm. How dare you. And James is probably a human boy.)

And that is all thanks guys heart emoji

[peonypaint]

gotchard things part 2!

[ ID: 5 digital drawings of kamen rider gotchard. the first drawing is of rinne and hotaro standing in a park together, with various items such as umbrellas, bikes, balls, and other childrens toys floating above them. rinne and hotaro both are looking up, rinne with a content expression and hotaro looking up in amazement as he holds two cards. the second drawing is of hotaro and hopper one against a golden background, hopper one is hopping up in midair with its legs splayed out as hotaro looks at it and tries to catch it with a surprised expression. above hotaro is text that reads "hop!" in all caps. the third drawing is of an alchemist in a red cloak holding two alchemy beakers and pouring golden liquid from one into the other, causing a gold line of smoke to rise from the beaker. a grasshopper creature floats above the alchemist and there are white lines of magic accenting the page. the fourth drawing has two panels of rinne, the page is colored blue with black lines. the first panel shows a close up of rinne touching the wall of where the chemies used to be sealed, and the second panel shows a zoomed out shot of her leaning back against the same wall. the fifth drawing is a sketch of hopper one and hotaro, above is hopper one with hearts on either side of it and below is hotaro with a backpack that hopper one is coming out of, saying "hoppa!" as hotaro looks over his shoulder in surprise. these sketches are lined in blue. /END ID]