#Rei Mekaru angst

[i-cant-stop-fandoming-help]

Guilt

Sources for the quotes and scenes and shit; 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBHa7neJWfk&t=7s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wRMoYdcxAQ&t=22059s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlCcfNHF3JQ&t=516s

Most of the things from Rei’s perspective regarding Mikako’s death are just me writing in how I feel her emotions are.

This isn’t written as a Rei x Mikako fic- Rei x Mikako is a ship I don’t exactly care for, and it makes me somewhat uncomfy due to personal experiences. This is Rei’s perspective in chapter 6 of SDRA2, remembering what happened in chapters 5 and 6 of DRA.

based on a conversation with steamoctowrites, surrounding Rei’s character development and her emotions. (Thanks for getting my brain running! God I am half asleep but this was 3 pages long on google docs)

Spoilers for Chapters 5 and 6 of DRA, and chapter 6 of SDRA2. 

sorry if it ended abrubtly, I had no idea how to end it and didn’t want to put in the full trials.

Realization hit Rei, memories racing through her head.

Kokoro Kurokawa… Was she the mother of Mikako? Was Mikako the base of Mikado Sannoji’s alter ego?

Murmuring under her breath, barely paying attention to the AI as she remembered the feeling of warm blood soaking her clothes. “Kokoro Kurokawa…… could it be…… Mikako…… No way……”

“Fufu… Finally, a response. This must be a familiar name for Tsurugi and Rei here. As you might have expected… Yes, your classmate Kokoro is the mother of Mikako Kurokawa.” The glitched ego had a shit-eating grin on his face, red eyes staring directly at her and Tsurugi.

Bloodied beads rolled across the floor as a black mop of hair rested on her shoulder. 

“W-What!? Tsurugi, did you know anything about this!?” the ginger spat softly in shock- the surprised expression on the foundation leader’s face gave Rei her answer. “...... Is that a no?”

Tsurugi glared at a gray and greasy haired participant, eyes narrowed in restrained fury. “...... Oi, Syobai Hashimoto.”

The criminal lazily glanced back at him, annoyance in his gray eyes. “...What?”

Whispering in her ears- weak and sad. “..........Meka…….ru………”

“Why was I not informed? Giving me all the information was part of our contract. Did you hide this? Or just not know?” Venom laced Tsurugi’s voice, the python in human’s skin trying to bite Syobai.

Syobai reached and began to clean his ear with his pinky, ignoring everyone else’s wrinkled noses. “Director… I don’t even know everything about Mikado in the first place. I didn’t bother to find out anything that wasn’t related to our deal. I got no clue about that Kokoro girl’s past.”

Shaking. Rei Mekaru was shaking. “.......I have to…….. Tell you……. About it…….. The….. mastermind….. Has…… been….. With…. Us…… in……. All……our…. Events………. That’s…… they key….” Mikako’s final words echoed in Rei’s head. All this time, she thought Mikako was doing nothing. That Mikako was the mastermind. But Mikako knew more than any of them, and was dead because of it. 

Rei pushed herself to speak- she had let Mikako’s mother die, hadn’t she?. “Mikako’s mother…… was involved with Mikado Sannoji? It’s got to be a coincidence, right?”

Rei couldn’t move. Mikako’s corpse wasn’t heavy, but the guilt on Rei’s consciousness was.

“.....Mikako-chan….?” Akane spoke up, fear shadowed on her face.

Rei’s mouth moved on it’s own, the ginger almost unaware of her own words. “This girl……… has died.”

With the movement, Mikako’s empty corpse slipped off of Rei and onto the ground, lifeless black eyes staring up and accusingly at Rei. I died because of you.

Ah, that’s right. Rei was in… another trial. She had ignored what everyone else had said in her grief. 

Now, Akane Taira was speaking. “Wait, Mikado… experimental data on her daughter? Tell me more about that. It’s the first time I’ve heard anything about it.”

Was Mikako experimented on, too? Surely she wasn’t. Surely it was a cruel joke- This must be a nightmare. Teruya was still alive, he must be. He must be holding her and-

She couldn’t push it away. Teruya was dead. Mikako was experimented on. 

Yoruko was speaking now, resting her cheek against a fist. “All Monocrow said was that she had a daughter and that she was missing. And about an experiment… What happened?”

Mikado was beginning to speak again, but Rei zoned out again.

“Eh? Of course, the culprit is Monokuma.” The way that Akane said that so matter-of-factly made Rei’s blood boil. Mikako had died for no reason? 

Monokuma killed Yamato Kisaragi, and then put on a class trial for no reason. Just so Mikako and Yamato would die. Akane Taira, Monokuma… Those bastards.

“...They were experiments on primitive emotions.” Mikado finished. Rei glanced up, looking for a hint of humor in the AI’s unfeeling eyes. None. 

Did Kokoro deserve her death? Would Mikako be happy with it? Ah- Rei’s thoughts were distracting her. Yuki Maeda had finished speaking, and now the Alter Ego was piping up again.

“She was pregnant with a girl, and immediately after it’s birth, locked her away and studied her emotions from her lab.” Mikado wore a serious look on his hideous face, and nearly everyone else clenched their jaws and widened their eyes in shock.

Mikako had gone through such a thing?

“.....W-Why would she…..?” Yoruko began, only to get interrupted by the artist.

“EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!? Pregnancy!? Babies!? Experiments on children!? Is that legal!?” Iroha Nijue shouted, holding her sketchbook close to her chest.

Mikado’s face was blank, as if unphased by the sound. “During this, she connected an electrical device to the girl’s brain to obtain emotional details from it… However, her partner escaped and took their daughter called Mikako… And from that moment, until Mikako’s death, everything she experienced was stored on Kokoro’s computer.”

Mikako was taken in by the Kisaragi’s, wasn’t she? What happened to the parent who had freed her? 

Although she felt horrible at the thought, Rei would have to get hold of this data to fill in the gaps of her own memory, as well as update the sheet on Mikako. 

And make sure that she could properly apologize to her for letting her mother die.

[etherealabyss11037]

Rei Mekaru Mastermind Headcanons

Okay, the long awaited (by nobody) post has arrived! I can’t bottle up my brainchild any longer, so prepare for a disorganized list of mastermind AU headcanons. Apologies in advance if this is shitty writing; I’m deadass tired as Hell.

-So first and foremost, the only way I could see Rei ever even considering being a mastermind behind a killing game is that Mekaru’s mindset would have to be far more bitter and rageful at the world due to her upbringing, being betrayed/abandoned by her parents and all that. Perhaps her perspective on incompetence would be very venomous, so much so that she viewed incompetent people as worthless ants to be stepped on and discarded for the betterment of the world. I also think she’d have more narcissistic and Machiavellian tendencies than in canon? Idk.

-If Junko Enoshima took notice of Rei’s extreme antisocial mentality and decided to use it to her advantage by manipulating Rei’s ego (which is very high in this AU), perhaps then Mekaru would consider being the mastermind of the proto-KG a worthy position for her. Her overall motivation for hosting the KG would be to test the abilities of the so-called “geniuses” with innate talents that didn’t have to work for what they earned like she had to, as she had to entirely hoist herself by her bootstraps to get anywhere in life. I imagine that every time a murder occurred and a blackened was executed, she’d feel a sense of morbid satisfaction from watching these “symbols of Hope” backstabbing and killing each other like savage animals, validating her mindset that they were all incompetent at their cores and hadn’t achieved true excellence like she had. -I don’t think Rei would have her memories erased in this au, but it would be angst city if she were to experience her canon change of heart only for her to discover in the final trial that SHE was the one responsible for setting up all the carnage and misery that plagued her classmates. Instantly succumb to despair.

-Once the KG actually begun, I imagine Mekaru would act much the same as she does in canon: cold, critical, and asocial. However, she may mix in acts of “kindness” and consideration to make the others think she isn’t so bad and isn’t a viable candidate for being the mastermind. Her decision to work with the remaining students in chapter 5 wouldn’t be out of a genuine change of heart, but actually an attempt to lead them astray by providing them misleading information each time she invites them into her room, “away” from Monokuma’s eye.

-In Chapter 4, Rei WOULD be openly surprised by Satsuki’s selfless sacrifice, but internally would condemn it as stupid and worthless, as she’d view people as selfish creatures who only care about what benefits themselves- including her.

-In personality, Mastermind Mekaru would be much the same as her canon counterpart, only with an added twist of thinly-veiled hatred, malice, and sadism. After the reveal, she’d become more noticeably unhinged and more reactionary, mocking each remaining student and rubbing in the horrible reality of what’s become of their loved ones until the succumb to despair like Utsuro did to the three survivors in the canon storyline. I think she’d also be even more prone to insults and angry outbursts, as irritable mastermind Rei forever lives in my head rent-free.

-Also, this is just a brainworm of mine, but I imagine that once the tragedy began, Mekaru would eventually track down her parents and have them killed for abandoning them long ago, finally taking revenge against the people who shaped her into the monster she is in this au. But maybe I’m going a little too hard with the angst in this one.

Alright, that’s all I can cough up for now. If anybody wants to add onto this list, please do! My individual imagination can only be stretched so far, oh woe is me. 😢

[webraciszekbastion]

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[danganronpafan777]

I’m going to rant about the side story a bit cause I have no where else to rant about it

(Spoilers for dra and sdra2 omake 2 obv)

Ugh that Side Story hurt. Like genuinely hurt me.

Rei just straight up saying “The Rei Mekaru of the 79th class of Hope’s Peak Academy also died along with Teruya Otori.” Did a blow on me man, I haven’t stopped thinking about it since I read the side story

You can really see how much Rei’s grown here

Ironically, maybe it’s cause she’s talking to Tsurugi or is under influence, but I actually really see and recognize the Rei I remember in this scene unlike with how unrecognizable she was in the actual game. Now she’s disconnecting herself from the past because god she did not deserve to experience any of that - none of the dra students did

And then we have Tsurugi- for once I actually sympathize with him here (love hate relationship yknow-). It really opened my eyes to see that the Tsurugi Kinjo of the 79th class was… really not dead. It surprises me he still has that side of himself especially with all the in dislikable crap he did during sdra2 - but that’s what I’m talking about when I say Tsurugi should’ve been smart enough to rethink his actions between the years and I guess seeing the side story confirms that he DID think about them. And that really opened my eyes to his character - I mean of course I never doubted he was the best written character but the side story definitely made me like how his character was written even more.

And ugh seeing Rei in that state hurt me so so badly - she has every right to be upset and feel the need to drink if she wants to but ahdjs it brought my heart to agony like, I usually love angst but for some reason Rei in this side story just makes me really sad and not be able to get out of my head for literally an entire day. I just want to give her a gigantic hug. God Linuj why is this the first thing you post after half a year 😭

I absolutely agree with everything

This reminds me of why I write fanfiction, cuz literally everyone deserves better, (reader included-)

It’s surprising to see that Rei was wrong about the Kinjo of 79th class being dead, he was just buried deep down. Tsurugi silently screaming was just… wow. He just needs someone to vent to…

*insert pic of Tsurugi reading All My Friends Are Dead*

I want to hug them both sm

I’m mad that Teruya always thought he was a burden but never knew how important he was to keeping the Kisaragi Foundation together

Rei went from calling Teruya a dumbass in DRA to being loyal to him even after his death

Both Rei and Tsurugi are so well written, and Rei being angry because she knows Teruya wouldn’t be mad at them even knowing what they did (and he dedicated his last moments to tell them not to feel guilty) broke me

Seeing their guilt and Tsurugi’s dilemma really humanizes and brings the characters to life

I don’t really know why, but Rei denouncing herself, saying class 79 is dead just struck a chord, along with her telling Tsurugi, “If I hadn’t done this,” (Refering to her getting drunk) “I’d have actually killed you.”

The whole freaking story was heartbreaking

I’m kinda scared to see what event is being foretold that will completely changed the foundation…

LINUJ HOW THE HELL COULD THIS GET WORSE??

[weird-gay-fan-frog]

REI MEKARU ANGST BONK

mika mika mika…

your like the older sister i never had and i’d do anything for you

BUT JESUS CHRIST I TOLD YOU A BILLION TIMES I STRUGGLE WITH DRAWING ANGST!!!

i prob will end up doing it soon tho, if i have enough energy, but i’m working on a different request right now anyway

[ao3feed-danganronpa]

The Mac N Cheese Fic (Full Collection)

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/A2eX3Kr

by kur0k4w4_M1k4k0

Haruhiko is forcefed mac n cheese. How does it play out? (nothing sexual its just crack. man)

Words: 1364, Chapters: 2/2, Language: English

Series: Part 9 of DRA/SDRA2 ship ficlets

Fandoms: sdra2 - Fandom, Super Danganronpa Another 2 - Fandom

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/M

Characters: Rei Mekaru, Haruhiko Kobashikawa, Teruya Otori, Satsuki Iranami, Kiyoka Maki, Kakeru Yamaguchi, Kanata Inori

Relationships: Rei Mekaru/Haruhiko Kobashikawa, Mekaru Rei/Kobashikawa Haruhiko, Mac n cheese/Haruhiko Kobashikawa, Mac n Cheese/Kobashikawa Haruhiko, Kakeru Yamaguchi/Kanata Inori, Yamaguchi Kakeru/Inori Kanata

Additional Tags: Mac N cheese becomes a person somehow, i get teased for the original constantly, crackfic treated seriously? IG?, harucheese real, Divorce, Romance, Dont fuck with us reihiko shippers- its really just me but i will write angst of them just you wait, i love shipping rei with idiots, also my fankids show up because FFFFFFUCK YOU, sdra2, dra/sdra2

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/A2eX3Kr

[talkativeanonymous]

This is the randomized au and uhm, it’s full of angst.

Danganronpa: Killing Thrill V7

Protagonist: Rei Mekaru

Cast:

Hibiki Otonokoji

Kaede Akamatsu

Katsie Ode

Ririka Outa

Kiko Mirtai

Natsu Tosaki

Wilana Ninuto

Toshihiro Riko

Tsurugi Kinjo

Yamato Kisaragi

Nikei Yomiuri

Mikado Sannoji

Hajime Hinata

Hajime Makunouchi

Nagito Komaeda

Trial 1

Victim: Kaede Akamatsu

Blackened: Hajime Makunouchi

Nagito goes insane

Motive: Love (Emma)

Trial 2

Victim: Natsu Tosaki

Blackened: Hibiki Otonokoji

Motive: Escape

Trial 3

Victim 1: Ririka Outa

Victim 2: Katsie Ode

Blackened: Katsie Ode

Motive: Accidental

Trial 4

Victim: Toshihiro Riko

Blackened: Mikado Sannoji

Motive: Despair

Trial 5

Victim: Wilana Ninuto

Blackened: Nagito Komaeda

Motive: Hope

Trial 6

Mastermind: Hajime Hinata

Survivors:

Rei Mekaru

Kiko Mirtai

Tsurugi Kinjo

Yamato Kisaragi

Nikei Yomiuri

OH GOD THAT *IS* ANGSTY.

Poor Kaede though, only V3 character and she died once again as a victim

This reminds me, I should be working on my dra/sdra2 murder mystery au..

[url0veb0t]

ᥫ᭡ ; rules in depth when requesting to me!

ılı.lıllılı.ıllı. ılı.lıllılı.ıllı. ılı.lıllılı.ıllı. ılı.lıllılı.ıllı.

— first of all I have every right to deny and not fufill every request you ask! whether it be something that follows the rules and such. its my choice if I want to write your request

— please be patient with me when it comes to requests and such! im not really fast when it comes to my writing and it takes some time! I’ll try to get your request done as soon as I can!

— I won’t write anything affiliated with mental disorders, I’m not familiar or well educated on the topics of any mental disorder, please do not request anything affiliated with them!!!

— if I haven’t stated this already, this is a sfw blog, this means I will not write anything nsfw on this channel, I might have some suggestive things?? but they will have heavy TW

— I don’t write anything affiliated with yandere if they’re overly sadistic or use extreme violence, otherwise writing that topic is fine

— if you were here from before you’d know I didn’t write DRA before because of inexperience, however that’s changed! to clarify any confusion I will now start writing for the DRA fandom!! (except for people on my characters i will not write for) feel free to start requesting them now!!

— before requesting, please note that my character limit is around 5-6 depending on the prompt! if the prompt is specific it’ll be five, and opposite goes for more smaller prompts! please note this when requesting.

ılı.lıllılı.ıllı. ılı.lıllılı.ıllı. ılı.lıllılı.ıllı. ılı.lıllılı.ıllı.

ᥫ᭡ ; topics I will write!!

— platonic/sibling relationships!

— trans!reader

— angst and fluff

— poly relationships

— yandere (excluding the things I stated in the above about this topic)

— cannon au

— non-despair au

— comfort

— female and gn!readers (im fine with male reader, however I’m not as good at it, if your fine with that feel free to request male reader)

— platonic and romantic relationships

ᥫ᭡ ; topics I will NOT write!!

— basics such as r4pe, homophobia, sexism, and etc.

— mental disorders

— overly sadistic yanderes

— extreme violence (not including the deaths of the characters)

— age regression

— vomiting (makes me uncomfortable!)

— anything affiliated with family life and pregnancy (not my thing and I can’t write it)

— abuse (physically and mentally)

ᥫ᭡ ; characters I will NOT write!!

— mitsuhiro higa

— yamato kisaragi

— mikado sannoji

— shinji (?? might write for him)

— the cast out of simulation

ᥫ᭡ ; my whitelist!!

— KINJI UEHARA<33

— satsuki iranami

— rei mekaru<3

— yoruko kabuya <33

— sora <33

— kokoro mistume

— hajime makunochi

— syobai hashimoto

— SETSUKA CHIEBUKUROOO<3333

[summerotakuchan]

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa Another 2, Dangan Ronpa Another Despair Academy Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Otori Teruya & Class 79, Otori Teruya & Class 80, Kobashikawa Haruhiko/Otori Teruya, Kabuya Yoruko/Sora, Magorobi Emma/Mitsume Kokoro Characters: Otori Teruya, Enoshima Junko, Sora (Dangan Ronpa), Kabuya Yoruko, Maeda Yuki, Nijiue Iroha, Yomiuri Nikei, Magorobi Emma, Sannoji Mikado, Makunouchi Hajime, Mitsume Kokoro, Kagarin Yuri (Dangan Ronpa), Chiebukuro Setsuka, Otonokoji Hibiki, Otonokoji Kanade, Kasai Shinji, Hashimoto Shobai, Utsuro (Dangan Ronpa), Taira Akane, Maki Kiyoka, Tomori Kizuna, Higa Mitsuhiro, Hatano Ayame, Kobashikawa Haruhiko, Iranami Satsuki, Inori Kanata, Yamaguchi Kakeru, Uehara Kinji, Kurokawa Mikako, Kisaragi Yamato, Mekaru Rei, Kinjo Tsurugi Additional Tags: Alternate Universe- Different Remnants of Despair, Giving Teruya the love he deserves, Or not, since I kinda torture him for a while, Inspired by Ritsumoka9142, Go check their stuff out, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Setsuka and Nikei are adopted siblings, Sora is her own person, Sora and Akane are sisters, Yuki and Utsuro are brothers, Kanade isn't murderous and obsessed with Hibiki because I value my sanity Summary:

What if not all of the 79th Class was turned into a Remnant of Despair? What if there was one survivor?

[i-cant-stop-fandoming-help]

Prompt: goodbye

I am the CEO of rei angst, and in part, the CEO of terurei angst.

-

Rei held onto Teruya as long as she could, tears staining her face as she begged for any sign of life. None, it was complete and utter silence.

"Please, Otori, wake up. Wake up. I love you. I am begging you, Otori!" Rei pleaded, burying her face into his shoulder and shaking with each sob.

She felt hands try to pry her away, but she clung to him with all her might. "You promised, Otori. You promised we'd get married. You promised you'd stick by my side. You promised."

Rei looked and felt utterly pathetic. Her eyes were puffy and red, and her hands were trembling the tighter she gripped. She was choking on sobs, and her head was getting lighter.

The ginger just kept begging, begging, begging, until she was forcibly pulled away by Tsurugi.

"Give it up, Mekaru. He is dead. He is not coming back." He said, and his voice dug into her skin like thousands of needles.

The happy life she and teruya talked about having, the happy life Teruya promised her… was all taken away within a few hours. It had been so, so, close, but suddenly it felt like such a distant memory.

She wanted it back. She wanted teruya back. She would do whatever she could to somehow, someway, get him to come back to her, to come back to a reality they could've- they should've- had.

[i-cant-stop-fandoming-help]

Broken Promises

After Teruya's death, Rei is left to cope. She reminisces about what he said to her in the helicopter after they escaped the first killing game.

- JUST BECAUSE I LOVE THESE TWO AND THEY'RE MY COMFORT SHIP, DOESN'T MEAN THEY AREN'T MY GO-TO ANGST SHIP. Take the ending as you will, because I didn't know how to end so i just let my fingers guide my lazy ass.

TW for teruya’s death, and broken promies, i suppose?

Rei sat in the helicopter, her hands balled into fists as her curly hair became messy from the wind. She barely noticed the merchant scooting closer to her. "Rei..?" Teruya whispered, leaning away slightly as the professor tensed and glared at him, her eyes filled with both fear and sorrow. It was the second time he'd seen her like this.

He exhaled slowly, leaning closer once more and looking up at her. "It's.. okay to feel sad. I saw how you were in that.. final trial... You were bottling those emotions up for so long... weren't you?" He began, his voice soft as he watched her look away.

"And you're.. probably blaming yourself too.. More than any of us.. And we both know why, so I won't be saying the reasons.. If I was in your shoes, i'd.. be blaming myself too... But I don't know as much about you as I'd wish.. And I'm not the smartest person.. but I do know it's okay to cry..! it doesn't make you weak, it doesn't make you weird.. It's normal, and it shows that you're human, and there's no reason for you to be treated different..! And so... If you want to cry, then cry..! No one is judging you..!" Teruya grinned nervously, reluctantly taking one of Rei's hands in both of his, looking her in they eyes with understanding.

Rei pulled her gaze and hand away, looking back out at the scenery as she relaxed. "...Thank you, Otori." "

And..! And..!" Teruya continued quickly, bouncing nervously. "I'll be by your side and support you no matter what! No matter how much you dislike me, i think you're amazing and smart and if we do work at this foundation, I promise to listen to you!"

Rei wiped away tears as she curled up on her bed, holding a teddy bear with a rainbow heart on it tightly. He promised her. He promised to listen, he promised to stay by her side. He promised. And now.... he couldn't keep that promise, and it was rei's fault. If she hadn't been so selfish on using the emergency code to get out of the killing game, Teruya would've lived a long life, like he deserved to.

Her eyes hurt as she cried a bit more, choking on sobs as she snuggled the bear. How was she supposed to do this? How was she supposed to handle another loss of a (former) classmate, and one that she had grown to love romantically? She choked back a sob as she heard the door open, releasing her grip on the stuffed toy as someone walked over and sat on the edge of her bed.

"Greetings, miss Mekaru... I was.. informed about what happened... And I saw that you and mister Otori were.. very close. So if I can do anything to help you in the slightest, please do inform me.." The voice of Doctor Hikaru Ando gently said. Why was he here? He shouldn't be wasting time on her. He had other people to tend to.

Nonetheless, Rei nodded, taking off her glasses and putting them on the bedside table, hands shaking no matter how much she willed them to stop. She soon felt the weight on her bed shift, and heard the door close, causing her inner dam to break and tears to continue streaming down her face as she let out pained sobs of guilt and sorrow. She should be worried about everyone else, but here she was, weakly curled into a ball on her bed with puffy eyes and red cheeks.

So when she finally stopped crying, she thought she was over it. There was no need to cry anymore. She let it all out. Rei was finished grieving. She would never shed a tear over it again, she had no need to. She was fine.

But then came the day of the funeral, where tears returned and she had to sit in her car. Rei didn't want to accept that Teruya was gone, didn't want to accept that the one person that she felt she saw in a romantic light had died, all because she was afraid of dying.

Teruya Otori's death was all her fault, and she needed to apologize for being selfish.

[i-cant-stop-fandoming-help]

Grief

Part 2 to Guilt

Sorry if ending is abrupt, it was already very long and I’m very tired.

Video used for quotes;  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LxPHSGYX4Y&t=7967s Summary; Rei found the video of Teruya’s death, and decided to watch it to get answers.

Word count; 1849 Page count; 5 

TW for badly written emotional breakdowns. 

Whenever she was sad, Rei could always expect to have him by her side. For him to hold her and tell her that everything would be okay.

Rei could wake up from a nightmare and feel his arms wrapped around her, his face buried in her hair as he whispered sweet nothings to her. Promising her that he’d stick by her side and help her through her guilt.

Now he was dead. Teruya was dead because of Rei’s selfish desire to live. He was dead because Rei’s own incompetence prevented her from making two emergency codes fast enough. Rei was a fool.

When she looked through the files of the killing game, she found multiple videos- one being of Teruya. She knew she needed to watch it.

“...Uh, what? Where am I? I’m pretty sure I logged out…” Teruya’s voice was filled with confusion, and his eyes were wide in shock. 

Then his throat was grabbed.

Mikado Sannoji held Teruya up by his neck as his mask grinned. “Pleasure to see you again! Teruya.”

The green-haired man grabbed at Mikado’s hand, gritting his teeth and digging his nails into the sleeve. “Ugh!? M-Mikado.….. Sannoji……!!” 

“You arriving here means you’ve unlocked your reset code. And after all that, fufu… You still fell into my trap.” The wizard laughed his dastardly laugh, listening in glee at Teruya’s grunts.

“Da…… d…… Damn you……………..” Teruya spluttered out, skin growing lighter in color as his breathing was restrained.

“It’s still too early for you to die… Even though you’re already dead, there’s a possibility that it’d complicate things further if you actually died. I decide when you die.” Mikado spat, dropping Teruya and watching as the former merchant inhaled desperately.

“I decide when you die…” Rei muttered under her breath, shaking her head at the quote as she watched the video, trying to bite back her horror.

Teruya grunted and coughed, holding his head. He barely noticed as he was tied up, seemingly half conscious. “...W-What is this……!! Why have you tied me up!?”

“I must keep you quiet and here for now. Do not worry too much. I brought you some food.” The AI spoke nonchalantly, as if he didn’t nearly kill Teruya.

Rei skipped ahead in the video, she always did. She couldn’t bear to look at Teruya’s beaten up face for more than a few minutes. It hurt her- why?

“-ut your damn mouth! This isn’t the time for that… I should be in the real world, with Rei……” Teruya went slightly quieter at the end, eyebrows creased and eyes full of fear.

“He… Wanted to be with me? Ah… I’m overthinking it… He likely forgot to mention Kinjo… He… wanted to be by both of our sides, to prevent our fights… Yes, that’s right…” Midori glanced over at Rei as the ginger mumbled, soon turning back to her own work at seeing Rei wearing headphones and writing something down on a lined piece of paper.

“There we have a problem. If you disappeared from the virtual world, my firewall would disappear too.” Mikado’s mask donned an angry expression as he stared into Teruya’s eyes.

It took Rei a second to put the pieces together, but she figured it out. Why else would the firewall disappear when Teruya disappeared- he was the firewall. She figured she had this right, so she skipped past, once more.

“Iroha.” Teruya spoke, a firmness in his voice that one would hardly ever hear. Iroha screamed in response, jumping and scrambling away. “I’m not surprised but, are you really the last Void…?”

“Wh-wh-wh-wh-why are you talking to me……” she stammered out, clutching her sketchpad to her chest. 

“...Is Mikado trying to kill me?” Teruya whispered, staring at her blankly. There was dried blood below his mouth.

Rei paused once more, squeezing her eyes shut to hide tears. “Yes, you fool… He was trying to kill you…” She whispered to herself, clenching her pen even tighter.

“Eh!? N-No……….” Iroha seemed to know something, and she was horrid at hiding it.

“......Even a fool like me can tell. Mikado said if I die, things would be difficult for him. He’d expect I’d do something like this after hearing that… It’s all another lie.” Teruya’s voice had a sort of wisdom in it that one wouldn’t expect to hear from him, not after his behavior earlier in the game.

“No…” Rei whispered, one single tear dropping off her face and onto the paper she was writing on. The video was nearly over, she knew what was coming. The ginger didn’t want to believe it, didn’t want to believe he was dead.

Shadowy hands grabbed her shoulders, causing her to jolt but… No one was there. Midori had left for her lunch break, as had everyone else. Rei didn’t want to be alone at this moment, but she knew she had to finish watching the video.

“Yeah. He wants me to refuse to eat and starve myself to death.” His green eyes began to look at the rice on the floor, but not with hunger. He moved his one free hand slowly across the floor to it.

Iroha was too distracted to pay attention, trying to ignore his words. “Eeeek, I d-don’t know anything, la la!~” She said loudly, trying to speak over his voice.

“...Or is it reverse psychology? If me dying would really cause such a problem, why aren’t you forcing me to eat…? Why are you just standing there, watching me starve?...That’s the problem, I’m refusing to eat and you’re both acting like it’s according to plan.” 

What he said seemed to get through to Iroha, as she put her sketchbook down and didn’t try to speak over him. “A-And that’s weird… If he wanted to kill you, he could do it any time……” Nervousness coated her voice. “And if he wanted to starve you, he wouldn’t bring you meals like this…”

Rei wished she was by Teruya’s side when this had happened. To comfort him, tell him that she would get him to safety one way or another, to give him hope like he always did for her. But it was too late, no matter how much she wished it wasn’t.

Whispers filled the room as tears dripped down her skin and onto the sheet of paper below, narrowly missing the ink.

“...I think… The meals are insurance. You’ve poisoned the food, haven’t you…?” His hand had grabbed onto the chopsticks. He was going to do it.

“No, no… don’t do this to me…” Rei pleaded ever so silently, as if wishing she could change the past. She didn’t want to believe her only support- the only one she trusted, at least- was dead.

The voices were going to get to her.

“P-P-P-Poison……!? Y-You’re just overthinking!! It’s just rice!! Delicious rice!!” Iroha had raised her voice again, clutching her sketchbook once more.

Teruya had an almost sorrowful expression on his face as he fiddled with the chopsticks, lifting up a single grain of rice before putting it back down. “...If I’m weak in spirit, I’ll succumb to hunger and eat the food, and if I do that, I’ll die from the poison anyway. It doesn’t matter if I starve or get poisoned. Either way, it’s definitely a trap to kill me.”

“Don’t eat the food, you goddamn idiot…” Rei muttered, rubbing her eyes as she listened, barely able to see the screen through the blur of tears. 

The whispers were getting louder.

“It’s only natural when you think about it. If I’m alive, then nobody can go back to the real world. So what would you both do when this is all over, if you can’t leave? In the end, that bastard would end up killing me one day. And he’s trying to hide it by bringing me food.” Teruya said with a twinge of anger to his voice. 

Iroha squeaked in confusion at his words, putting her sketchbook to the side as her eyes widened ever so slightly. 

“That bastard. He said I’m already dead and that he decides when I die. I know what that means… He’s going to kill me, but it’s not time yet. He’s trying to predict when I’ll die by manipulating my actions.” His green eyes shone with determination as he rolled his wrist and neck, preparing for what he was going to do.

“...... T-That’s. I have no clue……….” Iroha tried to feign ignorance, but failed.

Teruya began to smirk, eyebrows creased. “But what if Mikado made a mistake in his plan?...What if he isn’t as smart as he thought? For example, if I stay alive, nobody can get out, and you can’t contact the outside… What if you’ve only focused on your front and not your back, and I eat the rice?”

A ‘rock’ formed in her throat as Rei choked back a sob. Midori had opened the door to get back to work, but saw the older woman’s state and immediately shut and locked the door. Rei needed privacy whilst she was in such a state.

“..........Huh? T-Teruya, you wouldn’t……….” Iroha gasped out, eyes wide in horror as the realization dawned upon her.

“.........I bet it’s really delicious. Bon appetit.” And with that, Teruya held the chopsticks as properly as he could and lifted up a few grains of rice.

“Eeeeeeeeeeeeeh!?!? W-What’re you doing?!?” Iroha nearly screamed in horror as she watched Teruya raise the rice to his mouth.

Rei took the headphones off, placing them on the desk as the video played on. Shadows seemed to roam around her, grappling her arms and squeezing her neck. Your fault. It’s all your fault, Rei Mekaru. You’re guilty for the deaths of so many.

She squeezed her arms, digging her nails into them through the sleeves of her white-to-brown jacket. Satsuki died because of her. Mikako died because of her. Teruya died because of her.

She was beginning to hyperventilate, and tears were flowing down non-stop as she let out soft pleas for the pain to stop and to be left alone from these thoughts. 

Rei began to feel light-headed, and moved to hold onto her chair for support. So much bottled-up sadness, letting itself out at just one thing- she was pathetic, wasn’t she. Truly pathetic.

When Rei began to try and calm her breathing, however, she heard something from the headphones, loud and clear;

“Yeah…… I should have done this in the ballroom……… Looks like I’ve grown up a bit…… I don’t know how much time I’ve given them by doing this, but…… I hope…… I helped them…… It’d be great……U….gh… I’ll……. Leave it all to you….. Rei…….. Tsurugi…………….. Ple…ase……” 

Teruya’s final words. Loud and interrupted by coughs repeatedly. Wishing for Rei and Tsurugi to win.

That was Rei’s final breaking point.

She closed the video through a blur of tears, pushing the paper aside numbly before holding her head in her hands and screaming, her sorrows embedded in each sound. It hurt, but so, so good.

Especially when she imagined the warm embrace of Teruya coming from the shadows that consumed her.

[i-cant-stop-fandoming-help]

THEY GOT ME ON DEATHROW FOR WRITING TOO MUCH ANGST BUT I KEEP ESCAPPINGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

CEO of terurei angst makes a sick return. I also had to translate omake 2 with google translate please have mercy on my soul. and also somewhat shifted the wording so it made better sense to me.

"That's right... Kinjo Tsurugi, I came to tell you this today."

Fingertips and nails dug into the metal of a pod. There was flatlining nearby, but it was faint to her ears.

"Rei Mekaru died with Teruya Otori."

He couldn't be dead. He couldn't be dead. He couldn't be dead. They were supposed to get married in just a few weeks-- her dress had already been bought, the venue had already booked, their vows written and memorized... Teruya couldn't be dead.

"Please take good care of Kisaragi Foundation Logistics Department Rei Mekaru."

Tsurugi didn't even seem to care about the loss of their coworker, their companion, his friend. His gaze had remained cold and he continued giving orders, even whilst the unbearable beep-beep-beeeeeping filled the halls.

Her tears would begin the rusting of the cruel device as she weeped for her fiance, whilst the director lived his day-to-day life guilt free. She hated that man, she hated that man.

Ando stepped into the room, armed with defibrillators, and forced Rei to get away from the pod as he cracked it open and began his attempt to resuscitate her sunshine, her everything.

Teruya did not awaken. His flesh was cold, his eyes were lidded and dark and glazed, his body was relaxed. Rei pleaded and pleaded and pleaded, but he did not come rushing to her aid. he did not promise her that everything would be okay.

He was gone. And the moment the realization came to her, the moment she felt a part of her begin to die. This was her fault, her love for him had distracted her from her job-- and she failed to code an escape code for him, as well.

She did not deserve to be Rei Mekaru-Otori, nor did she deserve to be Rei Mekaru, former ultimate professor. She was just the head of the logistics department, numb to her own feelings now that she had lost everything she had once held dear.

[i-cant-stop-fandoming-help]

Alright, after some thought, how about some Tsurei angst? They’re my precious rarepair and honestly need more content. ;-;

i remembered i have an old tsurei wip that i'm probably never going to finish and that i've proooobably posted somewhere on here before but here. you didn't win the request wheel spinning but figured there's no harm in posting this one WIP. they're a divorced couple btw. not specifically in this fic but thats just how i see 'em

Rei snorted as Tsurugi spoke, unable to process his words in her drunken state. Teruya was glancing between the two, downing a shot of vodka before patting Rei's back.

He said something to Tsurugi- it sounded like "I think we should pay and leave. Rei's had so much to drink that I think she'll probably have a major hangover."

The ginger knew it was too smart of a thing for an incompetent like himself to say, she was probably just imagining. Nonetheless, she grabbed onto his jacket, her words slurring and her vision swimming. "I am not fucking drunk, innnn…competent."

Tsurugi grunted, putting his card in the checkbook and lifting Rei up. "Yes, you are."

She could only squirm, too tired to do much else. "Not drunk..! Put me dooowwwnnn!"

Tsurugi grunted as he put her in the back seat of his car, allowing Teruya to take the front seat and beginning to drive to her house.

Her daze made her dizzy, her own house wasn't familiar, even with the teddy bear wreath and the fluffy welcome mat.

Tsurugi only then put her down, making sure she unlocked her door and went inside.

His smile was warm, his eyes looked affectionate. "Goodnight, mekaru." He whispered, just barely audible.

He mumbled something more, and Rei couldn't quite figure what it was. She just slurred out a goodnight, and closed her door. The moment she did, her vision went completely dark.

Rei startled awake at the feeling of falling- she was in her bed. She was comfortable and warm and surrounded by brown, fluffy, bears.

It was a memory. Was her dream a memory? How odd. It was… happy. She was happy.

She thought it could last for forever, or at least until she was thirty. Instead, it was taken away in a matter of about a year.

Teruya was dead. His corpse stared at her with empty eyes as she did her best to resuscitate him, joy and sorrow mixed in his eyes as his ribs cracked and his skin slowly, slowly, lost its color.

She felt helpless, hopeless, useless. And most of all, possibly worst of all, was how alone she felt. She lost her another classmate, yet another friend.

Tsurugi stares at her with pitiful eyes, it felt belittling. "It's too late, Mekaru. Otori is dead. Just… give up."

Give up? After everything? She couldn't just give up on a friend, not so quickly. Otori was one of the only surviving members of class 79, alongside Rei and Tsurugi. How could he be so willing to let him die?

Rage consumed her, hate consumed her. Tsurugi was scum, she didn't know why she ever had affection for him.

She grabbed him by his shirt, shaking and sobbing and barely able to breathe. "You!," she snarled, barely able to see his ruby eyes through her blur of tears. "What is wrong with you?!"

Tsurugi remained calm, putting a hand on her back and pulling her into a hug. "I am sorry, Mekaru. It had to happen."

She choked on a sob, hitting his chest weakly before crumpling. "Why, why… why did he have to die?"

He sighed, his legs beginning to shake before he fell backwards into his wheelchair. "We needed to make sure Sannoji's plan would fail."

Her breath was caught in her throat, her hands were clawing at Tsurugi’s shirt. He only whispered that it was okay, that it needed to happen. That he’d rather bury Teruya than bury Rei.

His words were gentle, his eyes were affectionate. Any other moment, she knew she would’ve melted into his care. Not now, not today. He was so willing to let someone die, it was disgusting.

Rei shivered at remembering his care, his… love? No, she didn’t think it was love. She thought it to be spiteful pity.

Even thinking about her affection towards Tsurugi made her gag, made her reach towards her bedside table to grab something, anything. But her usual wine bottle wasn’t there- she had emptied it the night before in one of her many emotional moments. 

She didn’t want to get up, she wanted to stay in bed and wallow in self pity, she wanted to curl into a ball and whimper and whine. Rei was pathetic, she recognized that much, but was it not justified? She had fallen in love with a man who killed the first friend she made in a long time, and even worse- that man was her boss, and he had so much care for her. 

She felt cared for, but hated at the same time. Loved but despised, cherished but loathed, adored but detested. She had fallen for what she perceived to be the devil, and it seemed he worshipped her in the exact same way she did him. Whenever he could, whenever she was sober and unable to comprehend her overwhelming emotions, Tsurugi held her close and put a hand on her face and called her gorgeous, kissed her ginger locks, loved her.

Her head was sore, her throat burned, and her back ached. The alcohol was a faint and sour remnant on the top of her tongue. She let her blankets slip from her legs as she stepped out of bed, her toes touching the floor with a gentleness she forgot she had ever had.

Her phone buzzed, loud against the wooden desk as it silently yelled for her to answer it. It was for work, she needed to come in on her day off. Like usual. She was just the worker, the person who was only good for their knowledge. Everyone thought that of her. She was nothing but a library of smarts, a keeper of wisdom. 

Her fingers trembled as they grazed upon it, and Rei didn’t even know if she had the strength to answer it. As soon as the cold met her ear and cheek, it took all her willpower not to just drop it again. The voice of urgency, the voice of terror and devastation, that all rang from the other end. 

She wasn’t even dressed properly, she hadn’t even put on her glasses properly, but she sprinted out the door with all her might. She didn’t even scream as she tripped, she didn’t feel nauseous anymore, her headache and her fatigue felt diminished. 

Rei was alert. She could feel her heart beating, ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump. Her eyes were twitching back and forth, and she could hear the gunshots in the distance. That fool, that absolute buffoon, what did he think he was doing? 

Bing, bang, boom, the shots were louder the more she drove. He was going to get himself killed, had any thoughts even gone through his head?

Rei couldn’t handle any more death, he should’ve known, he should’ve seen. She looked in the mirror and she didn’t even see herself, alcohol had destroyed her and she couldn’t let go. But he looked at her, and he just looked affectionate. Like he still saw Rei, and not some stumbling and stammering incompetent.

She saw the blood, she saw blue hair, she saw as bodies on the other side fell. She got out of her car as quick as she could, running to the sight and not caring if a bullet went through her skull– she needed to get him out.

Rei’s feet slammed into the ground as she ran, but he wasn’t there. That blue hair she saw, she should’ve realized, was too light to be his. It was Iranami’s, so where was Tsurugi? Keisuke just stared at her, his soldiers having knocked every single despair down and out. An iranami by blood, but he was nothing like before, nothing like Satsuki– Keisuke was just like Tsurugi. Cold, uncaring, and a murderer.

The ginger didn’t even say anything, just spun on her heel and ran to her car. Foolish, foolish, foolish. Of course he wouldn’t be with other people. 

“I’m sorry.” she thought she was imagining his voice, up until she saw his reflection in the rearview mirror. His eyes were dark. 

A stinging pain went through her head, causing her vision to fade. And the next thing she knew, she was at home, tucked into her bed with a cup of cold tea by her side. Perhaps she had dreamt everything up, but she hadn’t had tea the night before. How had it gotten there?

Her head was bandaged up, and she felt at the side. The red that danced and spread along her fingertips made her freeze, she hated seeing her own blood, her own weakness. If only she wasn’t human, she wouldn’t have such a disgusting fluid keeping her alive. 

[i-cant-stop-fandoming-help]

Of all things, I must be fed with Rei Mekaru content. It’s becoming more and more scarce by the day, and I’ll take literally anything I can revolving around her. It can be fluff, angst (preferably angst, actually), DRA Rei or SDRA2 Rei, stuff about her past, her parents- anything! I know you’re the #1 Rei simp, so I assume you’ve got quite a few ideas in your head regarding her.

Not only am i the number one rei simp, I AM THE CEO OF REI ANGST! insert evil laughter here. YOU WILL BE FED!

Warning uhhh alcohol

Rei sunk into the soft mattress with a groan. She couldn't cry, she wasn't allowed to cry-- especially not over the parents who had abandoned her. Why should she cry over their corpses, and why were tears threatening to spill from her eyes?

"You're better than this, Rei." She hissed to herself numbly, "just push your feelings down."

Then, the most incompetent of ideas came to mind.

There was a bottle of American whiskey downstairs-- something Teruya got when he last travelled to the states. Something he had given to her to remind her of her own time in that hell forsaken country.

Her mind became foggy. She wasn't thinking clearly. There was a twisting feeling in her gut as she moved off of her bed and out of her room, becoming more and more painful as she ignored it.

Rei entered the kitchen and searched through the cabinets and cupboards desperately. It took a bit, but when she found the bottle, her fingers snaked around it's neck and she pulled it out.

"How pathetic." She murmured one last time as she opened the bottle.

[i-cant-stop-fandoming-help]

Since you told me to ask anonymously, I won't do it this time nyaaa. What romantic HCs do you have from Uehara?You can include SFW, ANGST or NSFW Whatever you want since I suppose it would be a varied topic idk. po For doing so you earn a Mekaru rei noodle

Okay so i cannot do nsfw headcanons without Rob shooting me from a distance (i am a highschooler, not an adult quite yet)

So heres the angst! And romance

-with his partner, kinji is very cuddly and clingy. He is also a little spoon(i think that's the right term), despite being (checks height chart) 183 centimeters tall/6'0"-6'1".

-Kinji has a hard time talking about his feelings. Sometimes he just walks up to his partner and presses his tear-filled eyes to their shoulder.

-He makes REALLY good food but makes his partner wait to eat until after prayer. Its cruel because the food smells good. That's it, that's the angst.

-he has some artistic ability(he was inspired to learn by michelangelo and the paintings of the sistine chapel) and uses it to paint his beloved.

-he gives a lot of praise and, anything you see as flaws, he sees as beautiful and says why.

-He doesnt celebrate halloween much himself, but if his partner does and wants to do a couples costume, he agrees.

-he CANNOT lift heavy things. Even with help. He has twig arms. If his partner, too, has twig arms? Good luck vacuuming under the couch.

-He also plays the piano for his partner. Usually it's hymns and stuff, because he does not know any love songs.

Thats all from the top of my head.