#Remembered that these two existed. They still hold my heart. My very first OTP ever. Along with Hhr of course.

[windydrawallday]

One of my other favorite things about shipping fictional characters and making stories with them is telling experiences that go beyond the usual perfect "these two meet and become OTP in the instant" and/or are planned to be OTP at the end of the road. I mean, I'm the crazy shipper that can pair even a bunch of characters that barely mention each other meeting off-camera in canon x'D

But I find fascinating these types of scenarios that are "less perfect" and full of bumps on the road: those of beings that find themselves in need of rebuilding again a bridge of feelings that was severed by death (and even separation, a little "dead" still alive but not with you anymore in their lives).

In contrast to the usual "encounters destined to end together" here experiences are already tainted with grief and a sense of resignation… but at the same time, questioning if it will be possible for these experiences to serve any other purpose after these events. "The Love after the Love" (a spanish song I had on repeat all this week) it's what I like to call it.

And I think it can become one of the most hopeful scenarios to play around with because it is very real and something that could happen even to OTPs "Happy Ever After"'s…

[TW/CW for mentioning a real person's death and grieving]

I need to put in parallel a personal family experience about this same theme: I always remember dearly one of my uncles from my mother's side of the family who had a partner, and they looked SO PERFECT together. Good, sweet, hardworking people. Never saw sadness in their faces, always sharing trips and plans together… I almost fell envious of their sons and daughters for having such perfect parents haha

Until my aunt died during bad electricity management in her laundromat shop. I never saw a man as sad and emotionally destroyed as my uncle. It was plain painful to see him, like a ghost haunting his own home. We tried to support him during that first year of grieving until we saw he was ready to go on his own.

Then, after another year, he confessed to us (I was always happy he confided in my side of the family) that he was seeing a new partner but that he wasn't sure if keep doing it. We asked why to him, and the answer, to this day I think, is one of those that I have carved deeply on my memory: because he felt he was unrespecting his past partner.

This memory feels a bit fuzzy for me right now (this was… idk 12 years ago now?!) but I can remember clearly my mother telling him that he needed to stop feeling guilty for something that was out of his control (the death of his partner) and to think in his own happiness too. That for sure aunt would have approved of him living on because she knew he is a very lovely man full of love who deserves to not let that love die with her memory.

That it will be harder to start over, that's a given. But if he felt the need to build that bridge again but in a different direction, why hold it back?

And that experience became one more brick in my life that cemented for me that love doesn't die… once. Or it can't be killed on that first try. You will build many bridges, burn half of them, seeing part of them fall from catastrophes out of your control. But I can assure you you will always find a way to build a bridge again.

Not just because of a partner, or a new partner, or a partner after that one. Because we all hold a love so great it's unfair to let death be the end of it.

Before death definitely arrives to snatch your heart, keep loving. For the sake of love. Love is worth the effort, the pain, and the lessons.

Because loving is living. And living is a daring thing to do, to spit against death and say "My heart still beats, still exists, still feels".

That's the reason why I like putting these scenarios in fiction to. Again, I'm a sucker for angst too, and seeing a pairing endure death and separation but this? Letting my beloveds find a way out of the past, accepting that they are still living and worthy of finding someone that loves them even when carrying these broken parts, to share their most dear experiences with them? That's my jam, so much!

And if that's not the most hopeful message you can leave to this world, I will buy a hat and eat it.

PS One more additional note: with this, I want to validate too that a "Love after Love" never EVER loses its value after the first time: love just gets STRONGER!

[stayextrafrosty]

AO3 Tag Game

I was tagged by the wonderful @skinsharpenedteeth! Here we go!

1. How many works do you have on AO3

36 on AO3 and I sometimes consider moving my two stories from ff.n over but I haven't gotten to it yet

2. What's your current AO3 word count?

315,396

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Five technically. "Maximum Ride" "Shadowhunters" and "The Nine Lives of Chloe King" <- those are not on AO3

"Roswell New Mexico" and Fall Out Boy <- those are on AO3

4. What are your top 5 fics by Kudos.

they are all "Roswell New Mexico" malex fics

"Another Chance to Hold Your Hand"

"I Almost Lost You"

"I'm Dying for a Taste of You"

"Something About Running Hot?"

"I am Your Future I am Your Past"

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Sometimes. I often want to reply to all of them but usually won't unless I have something to say other than thank you. such as teasers or hints about plans for stories. (There's the big secret. Now the question is what am I actually serious about in my replies)

6. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Tbh I don't really write much in the way of angst. And if I do it's always a happy or at the very least a hopeful ending. Both my Malex soulmate AU and Malex Vampire AU have quite a bit of angst in them but it's usually resolved pretty quickly. But my Isobel/Liz fic that I wrote after 3x08 aired is probably the angstiest because even though I write them kissing, they know it will never happen again.

7. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've ever written?

I don't write crossovers. I can hardly keep track of all the characters from one show. I'm not the biggest fan of reading them either honestly. Just never really did it for me I guess. But I have a lot of respect for people that do write them!

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes actually. It happened back when I was writing for "The Nine Lives of Chloe King" back on ff.net. I was like 14 and I made my first attempt at a sexual assault scene. I got ripped apart by this reader saying that I wrote it wrong and that the character being attacked wasn't "acting right." I was young and intimidated so I ended up re-writing the scene and removing the sexual assault all together. To be honest, I can't even remember how I wrote it. Maybe it was terrible but it still really sucked at 14 to have someone pick apart my writing like that.

Thankfully though, I haven't received hate for anything recently

9. Do you write smut?

Uh... yea. A lot. Literally almost everything.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of.

11. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No but I would love to try sometime! I like to think I'm a very easy person to work with

12. What's your all time favorite ship?

Oof umm... Right now it's absolutely Malex but my original OTP was Max and Fang from "Maximum Ride" and they will always hold a special place in my heart

13. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

"Maximum ride"

But that fic exists in a place no one can ever find it.

14. What's your favorite fic you've written?

Hmm... you know, I thought about skipping this question but I actually really love both my Malex soulmate and vampire AU's.

A piece that I love that isn't roswell related would be my "Friend's with the Monster" series. It's a Patrick Stump/reader but I'm actually quite happy with how I wrote it. I feel terrible that I haven't updated it but I guess that's what happens when you don't really have a plan going in.

Tagging: whoever feels compelled to do this because it's late and I can't remember who the writers are

[dreamerandcrazy]

Ok, so I haven't been able to comment much on my Riverdale rewatch mostly bc i'm watching it with my boyfriend and we have an agreement of no cell phones when we're watching, otherwise we can't pay proper attention to it. But I wrote down some notes about the episodes I did watch (I watched up until ep 6, which is very ironic bc apparently today is its anniversary, so yay for my perfect timing). I actually remember most of the stuff that happened in s1, so here's mostly a few things I paid more attention to or noticed about the characters and the ships, or things i'm able to look at through a different view now that i've watched all the seasons. Strap in if you want to see my notes, if not just scroll please, no ship or character hate here please. Also, feel free to ignore, this is really just a personal look in some stuff I didn't notice in my first watch.

- Betty's character used to be much happier and lighter in season 1. I know we're introduced to "Dark Betty" right in episode 3, but still, I feel like the way Lili played Betty in season 1 did not hold the same "darkness" as it does in the following seasons. The scene where she is dancing happily in her bedroom because she's going to homecoming with the boy she likes? The scene where she introduces Jughead to the Blue & Gold and gets him to work with her? Her genuine innocent happiness at seeing her sister again after so much time? The way she interacted with Kevin and Veronica? Those were all chef's kiss because she actually feels like a teenager in them. In all her girly glory, she radiates youth energy and it's a thing that was sadly lacking after s1. Btw this is not a critique at Lili's acting at all, I blame it entirely on Ras and his obsession with dark Betty.

- There's actually so many indications of Cheryl being a lgbt character in the first episodes that I have no idea how I missed it the first time. But then again, there were many indications with Veronica as well, and sadly that's not the path Ras chose for her.

- Jughead in s1 is truly so superior in so many ways that it's not hard to see why he quickly became such a fan favorite. I think even if he wasn't played by Cole Sprouse, he still would have conquered many fans' hearts. Sadly, the things that made Jughead such a loving and interesting character for me also fizzled out in s2 when the writing team decided to make him a woke serpent leader instead of allowing him to sticking to his true personality as a passionate mystery lover, a dedicated friend and very nerdy, which was very cute. I feel that we got some of that back for him in s4, which was good, but sadly s1 is where my love for him really stayed to stay. But I still care for him, and s5 has a promising storyline for him which i'm excited about, so let's see if s5 Jughead can become better than s1 Jughead.

- Going back again to Cheryl for a sec, I just noticed that the red lipstick actually wasn't that common for her in s1? At least not in the first five. I wonder when did it start becoming her trademark? Anyways, it's actually a really good look her and allows you to appreciate Madelaine's natural beauty even more.

- Also, did anybody notice how Alice lowkey figured out who killed Jason in ep 2 lmao, like... in episode two she legit says she wouldn't be surprised if the Blossoms themselves had killed Jason, which... is what happened LMAO, considering we know it was his father. And even more hilarious and tragically ironic note, in ep 6 she's laughing at Betty suggesting that Hal killed Jason because "do you think your father has the stomach for it?!"... Ma'am... i'm-.... 😂😂😂😂.

- This rewatch has reminded me of how much I adored and how I much I miss Josie and the Pussycats. The girls were such a nice addition to the cast, and their songs were so beautiful. I truly wish we get to see them again someday, but at the same time I also think the actresses deserve to be at a work place where they're given the treatment they deserve and not completely ignored and treated like extras.

- Archie/Valerie was super cute and is very underrated in the fandom, but i'm glad Valerie stood up for herself and didn't take any of Archie's or Cheryl's sh*t. Still sucks because they were really good together, though.

- Why was Jason not allowed to talk, lmao? Like, i'm sure it's become a running joke in the show at this point, but back when season one was airing what was the excuse for it? He appeared in so many flashbacks and scenes and we still never heard a single word ☠️☠️☠️☠️. I just want to know what was the reason lol.

- I liked s1 Reggie, but I feel like Charles Melton's Reggie is better because he actually feels like a douche with good intentions lol, and he has more of a personality. Most of the time I even forgot about Reggie in s1, but after s2 he definitely made me more aware of him. So for that, I like Charles Melton's Reggie more. But the actor from s1 still did a good job with what he was given.

From now on I will be talking about the ships, so bear with me, and know that I am a multishipper. Yes, I have my preferences. No, my word is not law, it's just an opinion, so please respect it.

- Bughead is still super cute in s1. I feel like from s1 they will always be my otp, even if I no longer feel as strongly about them now and have a different insight as to where I would like their story to go, and now I definitely see the problem others had mentioned before of how they kind of took over the show, which is something I kind of closed my eyes to before... But I really loved them in s1. It felt like a very juvenile teenage relationship, they didn't give much thought on why and if they should be together, they just went for it like teenagers usually do, and they were very very cute together.

- I feel like if you don't count Beronica (because they really were the best no matter what you say or ship), if there's a ship that deserves "best chemistry" award for s1 is probably Varchie. I lost my interest in them years ago, but this rewatch reminded me of why I actually loved them once. They never really became an otp for me, but Kj and Camila's chemistry in s1 was VERY GOOD, and I really liked them. Their kiss in the pilot was electric and the s&xual tension was OOF, and that chemistry carries on through the season. You can easily tell something will happen between them eventually. It makes me sad bc I don't know what happened after s1, but their chemistry from s2 onwards was just... not there for me. Which is ironic bc it's the season they truly started dating and they got a lot of smexy scenes, but I just... didn't feel it. But I'll leave that comment to my s2 rewatch. For now just let me enjoy Varchie's chemistry in s1 while it lasts because it was really good.

- Now we get to Barchie, who I made clear was the reason for my rewatch, so let's get to it. I LOVED the way Barchie was written in s1. I remember when I first watched Riverdale, I was curious about their dynamic but didn't put much thought into it because I loved Bughead too much and wanted them to be together, and I thought Barchie would be the traditional "first og ship" thing and wouldn't have a big follow up, but boy was I WRONG and am I GLAD for it. I'll talk more about their development in the next seasons when I get there, so for now let's focus a bit on s1. Just in like the first two episodes, there is so much Barchie foreshadowing, like, it's legit insane how it was right there in my face and I missed it the first time! "I have never felt what i'm supposed to feel with betty", "it's not my fault he doesn't like you", "I can't give you the answer you want"... Omg, those are obvious eyebrow raising "this will come back to bite you in the a$$" moments and it's incredible how they actually DO! I would call it clever writing, but like... it's Riverdale lol. So I really am just glad that the ship was done this way, i'm glad Barchie has the back story that they do, they've really come a LONG way and i'm happy I get to experience their whole growing storyline. It's also especially good because s1 actually provides you with scenes that show you their friendship and how they're so close, you see them hanging out, talking, their pictures together, everything was just really done well with them. Still have a bit of critique with the way Archie contradicted himself sometimes regardinf his feelings for Betty, but let's be honest, we've watched enough Riverdale to know that's just a problem with the writing.

- Kevin/Joaquin is still my favorite Kevin ship, i'm sad it's completely impossible to go back to them someday so for now i'll just be really glad it existed and that I got to see them even if it was short-lived. They had great chemistry and their kiss scenes always outsold.

- Beronica... sigh. Beronica. The most wasted chemistry i've ever seen on CW and I've watched a LOT of CW shows. There was so much potential there, s1 was practically overflowing with them and it's one of the reasons it became some popular. I remember when the Beronica fandom was the biggest one, ah, good times. Veronica and Betty were easily the best part of season 1, their friendship, their lowkey romantic moments, they were just superior in every way. This ship deserved better, not even just as a ship, but as a friendship.

- Veronica's s1 hair >>> Veronica's hair in seasons 2-4. I loved the side part and I am glad it's back in season 5, it looks so much better like that.

- Cheryl, as always, deserves better. Can't wait for her to meet Toni so I can watch again Cheryl finally get to love someone and be loved back, which is exactly what she deserves.

For now, that is all! I will probably make another post soon when i'm done with season one and from season two on I will be live-blogging the episodes since I will be watching it alone. Once again, pls, no hate, my thoughts are my thoughts. Peace.

[shnuggletea]

Happy WIP Wednesday!! Chapter One is LIVE on Patreon! 

Synopsis: They were friends for years. Almost as long as they were lovers. She was his best friend and the only woman he loved. And he was hers. But that was four years ago before Inuyasha broke Kagome's heart and married someone else. When he shows back up in her life randomly, she doesn't care if she's being childish.

Just so you all know, I have one new chapter of Cell Mates: Freed done but I want to get two more finished before I start posting again (so there’s less lag time in between posts). Don’t forget that chapters 1-2 are on my Patreon now as well as the first chapter to this fic and many others for your consideration. As well as access to the Kissing Booth for you to create your very own kiss between your fave OTP. Subscribe today!!

He stood, leaning against the wall right beside her door. Hands shoved into the pockets of his tight, light blue jeans he hid his claws. But not his ears, sticking out proudly on top of his silver halo of hair. Even tied back behind his head, she knew it would be just as long as she remembered, the tips touching the top of his ass. Her own hair was just at her lower back now and she wondered if he would notice the difference? 

Not that it mattered, it didn’t matter!! She screamed at herself inside her head and ducked just as his golden eyes lifted from the floor to seek out her gray ones.

Standing up straight, she could tell he was nervous. That only made her more on edge, tottering between anger and agony. Whatever his reason for being here, she didn’t care. Or rather, didn’t want to know. So she ignored him, as childish as that was. It didn’t stop him from standing unbearably close to her, so much so, she had to stop for a moment and push him back, praying he missed the shudder that rushed through her as she felt his tight warm skin through his thin t-shirt.

“Kagome…”

He was whispering like he was struggling to get out her name. 

If it was that difficult, then why was he even here?? 

Her answer was to nearly break her key inside her lock, struggling to get her door open fast enough. Looking at her feet, the bags she sat down were missing. Without looking at his face or eyes, she turned back to rip them from his hold. It was then that she noticed her shaking, emotions making a wreck of her once calm and satisfied form. 

She hated how he did this to her. No matter how much time passed and how much she told herself she had moved on, was the bigger, better person, his presence would call into question all of it. There was no one that could affect her like this and she hated him for it.

Then his fingers gently ran down her scars. The four long, deep marks he had left on her when they were children. Another reminder of the two of them when she had enough as it were. 

Jerking harshly from his touch, he gasped lightly. “I just want to talk…”

“Four years and now you want to talk? Forget it, Inuyasha. Just stay away from me.”

His once hidden hands clenched into tight fist by his sides as she watched, still not looking up at him. Now inside, she tried to shut her door but he stopped her, a foot in the way. “Kagome, just listen to me…”

“NO!” She screamed, lifting her tear-stained face to shoot fire at him with her eyes. He was taken aback, stumbling in her hallway and out of her doorway. So she slammed it shut and locked it tight, knowing he was still just on the other side. Something he proved when he began banging a fist on her door.

“Damnit, Kagome, for once stop being the stubborn wench you always are and let me talk to you!!!”

“Go back to your wife!!” She called out as bitterly as she could before sliding down her door to the floor. 

The groceries, now forgotten, scattered on the floor before her and her grab bag dug into her side. Even fruitless, she did her best to not make another sound. Not because he wouldn’t hear her, the youkai could hear her breath and heartbeat as they raced painfully. No, she did it to hear him, needing him to be gone so she could leave as well.

She bit her lower lip as punishment for her cowardice, letting him keep her from things she needed to do. But she couldn’t face him. Or worse, have him follow her. How he found her, she wasn’t sure but it was the last thing she expected to happen today.

Time passed slowly and she didn’t hear any more sounds from her door. But there was no way to know for sure as she carefully collected herself from the floor along with her room temp groceries. Setting them in her kitchen, she caught sight of the clock. 

“Shit.” She cursed to herself, running and digging out her cell in haste. 

The ringing in her ear only made her heart rate spike more. But then the other end finally connected. “Oh thank god. I’m so sorry about this…”

“But you need me to pick him up?”

“Yeah, I’m...stuck. I’m so so sorry…”

“Please. You barely ever call needing something. I’m always calling you. It’s no problem, I got it.”

“Thank you soooo much!!”

Hanging up, she gingerly lifted up on her toes, pausing by her door as she passed it again. Looking out the peephole, she didn’t see a trace of the silver-haired demon. She couldn’t see or feel him, he was gone. The feeling was just as empty as always, happy he was gone but lacking any real joy from it. Her mind threatened to slip into another one of her ‘visions’ but she fought it, forcing her to stay in the presence. 

Her so-called foresight had a bad habit of taking her down memory lane too. Which was different from a normal human’s as she was thrust into the moment as if it were real. With the feeling of fingers on her spine, she knew it wasn’t a premonition or a memory she wanted to revisit. She returned to her cool existence and waited for her friend to come through for her. Alone.

Tagging....

@underwater0phelia​ @lavendertwilight89​ @mamabearcat​ @nartista​ @nopenname22​ @echobows​ @superpixie42​ @smmahamazing​ @redflamesofpassion​ @jme-chan​ @cstorm86​ @cicleydark-light​ @ruddcatha​ @lavaffair​ @kirrtash​ @sistasecbhere​ @obsessandfangirl​ @britonell​ @lordofthechips​ @mcornilliac​ @faolenwolf​ @classyhumanathletepalace @keichanz​ @phoenix-before-the-flame​ @artisticloveexpressitsall​ @lamuertadehambre​ @noyourenotreal​ @mitty-san​ @thenoammonster​ @little-deeluna​ @royaltrashpanda​ @sailorbabydoll92​ @storyweaver2017​ @malditamigs​ @adorabubblesblog​ @lilms-obsessed @petri808​ @anniehcresta​ @fan-dumpp​ @itzatakahashi​ @utakuprincess​ @theschultinator​ @all-too-ale​ @little-inukag-obsessed​ @theseagullqueen​ @queenofthesquirps​ @jolinaaa00​ @knowall7k​ @neutronstarchild​ @fawn-eyed-girl​ @eringobroke​ @sapphirestarxx​ @dangerouspompadour​ @misspepperpottss

[paintedwithapalette]

An Oath to Return

SoKai Week Day 5 - Tanabata/Star-Crossed Lovers 

Word Count: 1,663

------------------------

He’s late. But by now, Kairi expects as much. 

She sits on the ledge of a fountain, immaculate in its detail and proud in its stature. Nice and snug in her pink yukata with white flower embroidery trailing down the right and the checkered purple obi that binds her waist, she waits patiently as she watches the children attempting to play despite their limited movement, the couples walking hand in hand, and the numerous booths and games on display with prizes for the taking. 

Still no sign of him. Despite the sigh that escapes her, her smile doesn’t waver. Even though it would have been nice if he were a bit more on top of things, Kairi wouldn’t have him any other way. 

Just as her eyes propelled to the sky glittered in stars, she hears a voice. 

“Kairi!” 

Right on cue. She snaps her head in the direction of the sound to find her favorite lazy bum scrambling towards her, his movement stiff due to his dark grey yukata with horizontal light streaks streaming downwards. He nearly bumps into someone carrying a recently won goldfish and apologizes profusely, the distraction doing little to derail his attention from Kairi for too long. She giggles as she clasps her hands together and rises to her feet just in time for him to reach her. 

“Hey! Sorry I’m a little late, something came up a little unexpectedly,” Sora apologizes, rubbing the back of his head. “I hope I didn’t make you wait too long, at least. It was just, uh… kinda urgent.” 

She sends a knowing look accompanied by a smirk. “You took a nap, didn’t you?” 

“Whaaat? Of course not!” he denies. Kairi rests her fists against her hips, dipping down as her eyebrow arches in a way that intensifies her smirk even further. “O-okay, so maybe I napped... a little.” Sora emphasizes this by pinching the air with his index finger and thumb. 

Kairi grins triumphantly. “Should I really have expected any less of you, Sora?” 

“It’s not what you think, though. Naminé wanted to look through my memories to see if there was anything she could find that might help us with, y’know, the current situation,” he nearly trails off before he perks back up, scratching his cheek with a bashful smile. “And, well, I kinda had to be asleep for it. That’s all.” 

Kairi smiles as well, though it’s laced with a tinge of bittersweetness. “Well, in that case, I suppose you’re forgiven.” 

“Thanks! I was real worried that—” 

The sudden warm of her arms wrapped around his torso quickly puts Sora into a trance. For a brief instant, his mind wanders back to the time when they found each other in the original Organization’s stronghold and soon he returns the embrace. 

“As long as you’re here, that’s all that matters to me,” Kairi says, nuzzling into his chest. “Let’s just... make the most of today, okay?”  

Sora nods, his eyes firm before he pulls back and sends an assuring smile in hopes of lifting her spirits. “Just like we always do.” 

They wander the busy festival streets with their fingers laced together under a beautiful starry sky, making sure to check out all the attractions and games at their disposal. As he walks with Kairi with their hands intertwined, being able to hear the soft giggles and witness her kind smile in person, he thinks just how much this feels right. Even the little things she did found a way to make his heart swoon. 

Meanwhile, Kairi adores the way Sora’s eyes light up whenever something catches his attention. The way he pulls and drags her in every which way looking to find adventure in every corner of the festival. 

After they both write and hang their wishes on their tanzaku, both having an inkling of what the other wishes for though neither mentions it, Sora leads Kairi to a hill on the outskirts that gives them a view of the whole festival. From here, they can take in the ornate lights hung in droves, the fluctuating colors uniting together in harmony. 

She rests her head on his shoulder, shutting her eyes as she feels his warmth pressing against her cheek. Watching her almost angelic face is enough to make Sora’s heart flutter. 

“This is the way it should be,” Kairi says. “I wish we could just stay like this. Forever.” 

Forever. 

Suddenly, the air grew tense, as if something taboo had been said. Sora keeps his sights set on the grass while Kairi draws invisible circles on the ground. It’s a reality neither wants to accept, but know they’ll have to face. Sooner, rather than later. 

Sora looks down at his hand and watches as it almost looks like translucent glass. He sighs before putting on a smile. “Kairi, I have something for you.” 

“Huh?” Kairi asks, lifting up from his side as she sends her wide, curious eyes and a slight tilt of her head. Sora chuckles at her reaction. 

“Close your eyes,” he requests.  

Kairi doesn’t hesitate to comply. 

“Hold out your hand.” 

Kairi does as told and feels a paper-like substance enter her palm only a moment later. She rubs her thumb across the paper-like texture and concludes in her head that it’s... shaped like a star? 

“Okay, you can open them,” Sora says.

The first thing Kairi sees is a somewhat spotty-looking star about the same size as the lucky charm she gave him years prior. Indeed, it is a wayfinder made of leaves tied together with less than grace and on the top leaf there is a face with eyelashes and deep blue eyes. She assumes it must be Sora’s attempt at drawing her face the same way she had drawn him years ago. 

“I’m not the best at sewing seashells,” Sora admits, scratching the back of his head. “I know it isn’t the best, but I kind of had to improvise since the seashell thing didn’t really work out.” 

Kairi’s lips part for a brief instant before she closes her eyes and reopens them with a gracious smile. “I love it.” 

“Really?” Sora asks in disbelief. 

Kairi giggles. “Of course. It’s so thoughtful of you.”

“Well, I just figured... I wanted to double our promise.” 

He pulls out his own good luck charm Kairi had given him. 

“Now, one for the both of us,” Sora says. “Who knows? Maybe it’ll be double the good luck!” 

With a sheen of water shimmering over her eyes, Kairi holds it up to the moonlit sky. “It’s beautiful.” 

Sora smiles as well. “I know one person that has it beat by a couple of miles.” 

Kairi feels the heat rise to her cheeks, but the giddiness never leaves the ends of her lips. “Delightfully corny, as usual. But I wouldn’t have you any other way.” 

Sora smiles as they both cuddled together, embracing each other and their final moments. It has been like this for the past few years. Two years and they still hadn’t found a way to bring Sora back to their realm. But for some reason, whether it be fate by whatever deities exist or the universe just having mercy on them, Sora miraculously returned to the Realm of Light on the week of Tanabata. It was a week Sora and Kairi always make sure to make the most of each and every day. 

But the hardest part was saying goodbye. 

And it always happens on the final day of Tanabata. For the past few years, they made a habit out of coming to this very same spot and watching the stars twinkle above them as Sora slowly faded away. 

You’re only everything I’ve ever dreamed... 

Despite their gratefulness for being granted the time that they’ve been given, it never made it any easier. The curse placed upon Sora for his abuse of the power of waking had taken a toll on their longing for each other, but in moments like these, despite the hurt, they still had latent hope that one day this will be over. 

It helps that the sky is mesmerizing. 

Ever dreamed of, ever dreamed of... 

They hold each other’s hands tight, neither letting go as they keep close. The wind quietly whistles as it gently caresses their hair. 

You must be kidding me, did you really think... I could say no...

Sora feels it coming. He turns to her and Kairi hesitates, but finds the willpower to sit up from her position, away from his warmth and into the familiarity of the cold loneliness of her usual day-to-day life. But neither let the other’s hand go. 

I want you for a lifetime, but if you gotta think twice... baby...

“Kairi...” Sora says. “I think it’s time for me to go.” 

Despite how heart aches, Kairi nods understandably. “I know.” 

I don’t wanna know, baby... I don’t wanna know... 

With equally sad smiles, they close the gap between them and press their lips together. Kairi deepens the kiss as a tear streams down her left cheek. How bittersweet. How could something be so bittersweet and tear her apart all at the same time? 

Everything is just right, but if you gotta think twice, baby... I don’t wanna know, baby...  

As they part, Sora grips her hand tighter. “I’ll come back to you. I promise.” 

She grips his hand back just as hard despite the fact she feels herself slowly beginning to grip nothing but air. “I know you will.” 

And just like that, he’s gone. 

It’s just her again. 

But this time, she looks down at the lucky charm he gives her and sees the determined smile he drew of Kairi. She sniffs, wiping away her tears as she looks up to the sky. An act of forbidden love. But she remembers something that Aqua told her once. And with this trinket of hers, she knows it’s an oath to his return. 

“There’s always a way.” 

I don’t wanna know... 

------------------------

And with that, my final piece for SoKai Day! I’m so glad I was able to celebrate these two dorks, they’ve been my OTP since 2006. Check out the full version of this piece by my amazing friend @amyhayanora​! 

[moonlight-breeze-44]

Shadowhunters One-Year Anniversary!!

Hello, there! I don’t post a lot of things of my own (it’s mostly limited to my stories on AO3) but I truly felt like I had to post something now, because it’s a very special occasion! It is the one year anniversary of Shadowhunters! 

On this day in history, (one year ago, to be exact) the two-hour finale of Shadowhunters was aired. And thus we all collectively died.

So, here I am, to honour this momentous day.

I want to start off by saying that I am fairly new to this fandom. I joined it late. I’ve only been a part of the Shadowhunters fandom for about five months, give or take a couple. Today, I’m sharing the cliche that everyone shares at some point: how I got involved.

It all started when I was browsing the library in a nearby town for something to read over the long weekend and I stumbled across City of Bones by Cassandra Clare. I took it home, read it, and loved it. I started reading City of Ashes after that, and I took to the Internet in the wake of the revelation that Jace and Clary are “siblings”. I will admit, this was purely because book!Clace is my otp and I wanted to know if they were really siblings or if they still had hope. Upon discovering, (much to my relief) that they weren’t, I stumbled across another thing: a TV show based off of the Mortal Instruments book series. Naturally, I looked it up. I tried watching it on Freeform, but it buffered so badly that I stopped after only a few minutes. 

Fast forward a month or so. I’ve stopped reading the books (things that I’m not intensely interested in don’t tend to hold my attention for very long) and the Shadowhunters fandom is far from my mind. My friend gave me his Hulu password as payment for something I did for him, and though I’d assured him I wasn’t expecting anything in return, it ended up being one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever gotten, because that was how I found Shadowhunters again. It was in the recommended on Hulu, and when I looked at the description, I remembered it. I watched the first episode and immediately fell in love. 

The cast, the effects, the soundtrack, the storyline. All of it was so perfect.The characters were immensely well-rounded. The plot was engaging and interesting. I loved it. binge watched all of season 1 in about three days and then realised I should really start reading the books again, so everything would make sense. Unfortunately, I watch things a lot faster than I read. So I ended up finishing Shadowhunters while I was just starting the fourth book, City of Fallen Angels.

Now, I’m reading City of Lost Souls, rewatching Shadowhunters for the third time, and deeply involved in the Shadowhunters fandom.

The Shadowhunters fandom is truly one of (if not the) best fandoms that I have ever been a part of. Everyone I’ve met is very kind and friendly and always willing to help each other with whatever they need. I’ve gotten to know so many wonderful people through this fandom, and I’m eternally grateful to have them in my life. I’ve also written more fanfiction for Shadowhunters than I have for any of my other fandoms, partially due to the tools and resources available for writing in the Malec Discord server I’m a part of and the support and encouragement of my new online friends. In addition to this, I’ve finally found a character that I connect to on a deep, personal level in Alec Lightwood. 

In short, the Shadowhunters fandom has made my life a better and brighter place. It’s made me smile on days when I feel like I might never smile again. It’s connected me to other people that understand me and support me and be overdramatic when I really, really need someone to employ the theatrics of Magnus Bane and make me feel better. (Yes, I’m talking about you, Aria.)

Shadowhunters is one of those things that I’m not sure how I ever lived without.

To celebrate the one year anniversary, I ask my Shadowhunters-involved followers to make their own post (or reblog mine with their information added on) with their three favourite things about Shadowhunters. It can be anything - a favourite cast member, character, or episode, something you’ve gained as a result of the show/fandom, or something that’s a part of the show or fandom itself. Let’s share the love for our fandom!

My three favourite things about Shadowhunters:

1. Malec. The simple fact that there is a TV show in existence that has two male characters in a canon relationship and doesn’t perpetuate harmful bisexual and/or gay stereotypes is beautiful to me. Malec has given so many people so much hope for the future. Their relationship has made so many people feel accepted, validated, and loved. This is the kind of thing that we, as a people, need to see more of.

2. The Malec Discord server. I joined a Malec Discord server a while ago, after finding the link in one of my mutuals’ fics. It was the best thing I ever had doubts about going through with and ended up doing in my entire life. I’m socially awkward, as I’m sure most of you know. Not to get too sappy, but throughout my entire life, I’ve been cast out of multiple social circles because I am weird and not what most people would consider ‘normal’ and I didn’t really feel like I ever truly belonged anywhere. The Malec Discord server changed that. There, everyone that I have met is kind, friendly, and unfailingly welcoming to everyone, regardless of differences between us.

3. Alec Lightwood. I spend a majority of my time self-projecting in fanfiction and relating myself to my favourite characters. Naturally, I’ve always been on the lookout for a character that’s extremely similar to me. I found that in Alec Lightwood. So much of his story is synonymous with my own, from the pressures of watching over other people with all of your heart to the repression that comes with internalized homophobia. His story gives me inspiration and hope. Alec goes from hurting himself to avoid dealing with his own feelings to marrying the man he loves with all of the love and support he could’ve ever dreamed of. He is not only an icon to members of the LGBT+ community. He is also a sign that, even if things seem absolutely hopeless, there is always room for change. Things can and will get better, and he is proof of that.

Please don’t hesitate to reblog if you’d rather do that! I encourage everyone I know on here that’s into Shadowhunters to make their own post about the anniversary with their own three favourite things. This fandom has given me so much, and I feel in a way that this is like giving back.

To kick-start this post, (because I am not at all confident in myself and my ability to make it known) I am going to tag some of my favourite people from the Shadowhunters fandom to do this, as well, if they want to. You guys can tag people, too, if you like, or not. It’s up to you.

@archeryandeyeliner @arialerendeair @eternallysilvermagnusandalec @lightwormsiblings @bidnezz @skylar102 @aceon-ice @sugarandspace

TLDR: I am absolutely in love with the Shadowhunters fandom and everything it stands for. In this post, I talk about how I got involved and what the fandom means to me. In addition to this, I tell you my three favourite things from/about the Shadowhunters fandom. I also task my followers who are in the Shadowhunters fandom to create their own post about Shadowhunters in honour of the one year anniversary and encourage them to list three of their favourite things, as well!

Have a good day/night, everyone, and thank you for giving me a few minutes of your time. <3

[haro-ra]

Scorpia/Entrapta? (I don't ship them but I just love your take on she ra ships and this one is your otp, if I'm not mistaken 🤔)

1. My take on their canon relationship:

They ARE my OTP!!!!! THEY!!!! LOVE EACH OTHER!!! SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!

Every season I am fed with loving content between them, even the ones where they barely have any time to interact. Entrapta, upon meeting Scorpia, is captured and held prisoner, but like… she doesn’t mind? There is no part of her that distrusts Scorpia, largely because Scorpia is giving her nothing to distrust. Where the Rebels and Horde both wanted Entrapta for her technology, for what she could do for them, Scorpia exclusively wanted Entrapta around just because she… likes her. She likes hanging out with her, she likes talking to her, she likes helping her move in and likes assisting her in her lab. Scorpia prattles on and on and on about mundane things that happen in her life and Entrapta listens. More than that, Entrapta records her, she has determined that what Scorpia has to say is important enough to have on record and easily refers back to what was said later (”Did I ever tell you about how Catra and I were on a boat?” “Pretty sure you did *checks* Yup! You did :D). What Scorpia says and does has value to Entrapta, Scorpia is heard by Entrapta! And Scorpia never judges Entrapta for multitasking or not making eye-contact during their conversations. The two, if you pay attention (which I do) only very rarely look each other directly in the eye. A lot of times, Entrapta’s busy with a project, or they’re both looking at a screen or piece of machinery or something. And we know this is something relevant to Entrapta, because in her conversations with Hordak she DOES clarify (No no no, I”m listening, I’m listening!)

And Scorpia listens to her! She doesn’t understand a ton of it because Entrapta’s expertise is a little out of Scorpia’s league, but she listens to her! When Entrapta’s excited, Scorpia gets excited! When Entrapta talks about her passions, Scorpia listens and remembers. Her impression of her in s4 was adorable and hilarious, but also pretty on-point. There’s this beautiful mutual give and take to their conversations, and I love it. They’re also, just, like, friends?? Neither of them wants the other FOR anything, they just like each other! They enjoy their time spent together, and seek each other out when they’re not busy. They fling themselves into each other’s arms and start dancing within a DAY of officially meeting each other (while still technically being on opposite sides), they eat tiny cupcakes and hold hands on the couch, they make tiny hot cocoa, they work on projects together, they laugh and they get into each other’s personal space and they just. They like each other. Also, while I’m on the subject, Entrapta specifically hid the fact that she’d already gotten the first one’s tech in the northern reach because she didn’t want to go back to the Horde yet, because she was having so much fun! Sure Catra was part of it, but she just genuinely likes hanging out with her friends!

And oh, then, after everything went down in the end of s3, Entrapta was Scorpia’s reason for growth and healing. The guilt of not protecting Entrapta was a contributing factor into how protective Scorpia was of Emily (do you even eat?), the harsh realization that Catra doesn’t care about others came ONLY at the reminder that ENTRAPTA was hurt. She left the Horde. FOR HER. She made her way through the shifting landscape of the whispering woods, FOR HER. She placed herself in front of the other princesses, who she knew had no reason to help or trust her, FOR ENTRAPTA.

And, if you’ll note, on Beast Island, when Bow and Adora were squished into the big robot with Entrapta, they try and get her onto the same page as them. Being on Beast Island destabilized Entrapta’s thought process a little; she wasn’t remembering everything, some stuff seemed hazy to her, she recorded “I have confirmed that the outside world still exists” like that was revolutionary info, she was BLOCKING out anything that could count as a bad memory. However, it was only when Bow said “Scorpia told us what happened, she and the other princesses are waiting for you in Bright Moon” that Entrapta actually stopped the bot. Until then she’d only really shown any sign of actually listening to them in the form of lowering her face guard when Bow brought up Hordak, but it was SCORPIA that brought everything to a grinding halt. And then she just sat there. Staring straight ahead. Unmoving. Until Adora brought up the heart of etheria project and her brain could switch back to something “fun and lighthearted and easy” by Entrapta definitions of fun, lighthearted, and easy. 

Even when they’re apart, they’re just. *clenches fists* soulmates

2. Do I ship them:

YEAH MY MAIN OTP DUDES

3. Reasons why I do/don’t ship them;

All that love, all that devotion, all that friendship, plus the hottest character in the show, plus the size difference, plus the monsterfucker mad scientist aesthetic, plus the lesbianism? How could I not???

4. Headcanon, if any:

Entrapta’s had a crush on her since sometime mid-s2 but knew Scorpia had a crush on Catra and has resolved to never ever bring it up bc her friendship means far, far too much to her to risk making it awkward.

5. How much do I ship (%):

101% I know I swore I wouldn’t go over 100 but listen. Listen. They deserve it.

[daincrediblegg]

Can you please feed us some GORGEOUS Gen x Arthur hc's ????? Because we love you and we love Arthur and we stan our OTP. Please and thanks xp [I got'chu, boo

Genevieve x Arthur Fleck Headcanons

lmao LMAO LMAO ok so... idk what this is??? this is just how we are irl. ain’t no real scenario around it, but it still serves as a basic breakdown of our relationship as it’s unfolded the last 7 months or so. Thank you for giving me a platform to share this lmao. Sorry if it’s cringey and personal as hell, but hey, that’s life, and y’all know I don’t give a fuck by now.

We met in October. I’d snuck into a showing of Joker with my dad after the premier of Zombieland 2, and watched his story unfold. I couldn’t get him out of my head the whole night. I saw him again a little less than a week later, and I’d realized I’d wanted more. We’d agreed to meet for coffee the next day.

The next couple of weeks was just pure fascination with each other. I poured my heart into learning everything about him, and he seemed so genuinely interested in learning all he could about me too. 

Even though I was going through what’s easily been one of the most harrowing mental health crises that I’ve ever experienced… he fell quick for me, and hard. And I did too. He… he made me feel like I wasn’t alone. We were leading very similar lives (minus, y’know, murder- on my end), and knowing that he felt my pain when it seemed like not a whole lot of people really did… it made me feel seen. And it didn’t take long for things to get really heated. We’ve been together ever since.

He’s the one that got me to start taking my medication. I’d never been on antidepressants, and I was a little scared of the side-affects since the only other ones I’d tried made me dizzy and out of breath (and I’m a massive hypochondriac on top of all the other shit I’ve got going on in my head). But he convinced me that I was worth living for, and that was the little push I needed. I knew I wanted to get better, but he’d convinced me that I could. 

I drew him a lot those first few months we were together. His physicality still entrances me to this day. His elegance, yet this almost distinctly cartoonish poise and his innocence… he inspired me a lot. More than I had been in months. He’s shy about being the subject of a lot of my drawings… but he lets me anyway because he’s amazed at how it shows how I see him (which is fucking beautiful, like a disney prince thank you very much). 

We spent a lot of those first few months just lying in bed after a long day of writing and drawing, holding each other close and talking. About everything. It all felt so freeing to me that I could say just about anything to him and have him actually listen without judgement. And sure, he has his opinions, but he doesn’t dismiss mine.  

We did so much together too. We used to go to movies (not just his lmao), we got hot chocolates together and walked around town during christmas time.

For Christmas he gave me a beautiful necklace- a pretty blue/green pendant on a gold chain (that y’all might’ve seen in some of my selfies- and I wear it DAILY) and a silver bracelet with little red roses and garnets on it. They’re some of the best presents I’ve ever gotten. 

I gave him a scarf (that I’d worn out to work for weeks so that it’d smell like me at his request) and some chocolate.

I was also dealing with quite a few health problems those first few months, so he’s well versed in all my medical bullshit lmao.

I’ve got a weird bladder that just constantly feels infected (even though it’s actually not most of the time), which means that we can’t have penetrative sex sometimes (but we’re just as happy to touch each other in different ways even when I can’t stand to go all the way).

I was still having some panic attacks when I was on a higher dosage of my medication, and he’s very good at bringing me down from them. He holds me close and tells me to breathe slowly and deeply with him until I calm down and start to feel okay- even when I get super fidget-y from it. I can’t begin to thank him enough for helping me through it all as he has.

We don’t argue much. We see eye-to-eye where it counts, so we hardly ever get into moral disputes. But when we do it’s usually when I’m in a depressive rut and I’ve gone distant. He’s never raised his voice at me when it happens, but some heated conversations have spawned from it. And I’ll admit I’m not the most eloquent with these things sometimes. And I’ve said things that I didn’t mean to hurt him but just to say with honesty. He knows I have doubts sometimes. He does too, but we’ve been able to work through them well enough-better than most I imagine.

We uh… we have a lot of sex. No surprise.

We’re virgins (well, technically. At least with the opposite sex). We’re horny. We’ve got high sex drives and we’re not afraid to take it out on each other.

I’ve had a lot of body anxiety in the past, but with Arthur it feels even more non-existent than it’s ever been. He really loves my body. Not in a fetish-y way like a lot of guys have hinted at in the past. When I’m with him I really feel like his desire for me comes from love, that my body isn’t just a thing to get him off, but rather that he desires me for who and what I am, and I haven’t really ever felt that even with any of the other FICTIONAL guys I’ve been with before.

And he knows that I love him just the same. Body and soul. It’s a total two-way street. And we never feel the need to change for each other one bit. For that I’m so grateful god I could fucking cry.

And it’s made me do a lot of things that I kinda didn’t want or thought were inaccessible to me before I met him. I fucking wear lacy bras and matching panties (for the first time in my life!!!) on the reg because Arthur said that I deserved to have them if I wanted them (not to mention that I look beautiful in them to him), and now I’m coming around to the idea of putting on a little makeup ‘cause it makes me feel really pretty and Arthur agrees???? Like this MAN has really made me flourish for the better tbh I love him so fucking much. 

Before the pandemic he used to meet me at my regular haunt to watch me work after his gig for the day. He’d sit across from me and watch me fumble around with all my outlines and notes, sometimes taking out his own journal himself while he steals some of my coffee, taking my hand and running a thumb over it idly.

He really enjoys my screenwriting. My writing is very exciting, he says. He’s really supportive of my career choice, even though it’s still a long ways off from being anything tangible or serious. And he’s very supportive of the things I’ve written about him too. He doesn’t mind as long as some things get to stay just between us (and by and large he says I’ve done a pretty good job of that lmao). 

I sing for him a lot. We dance together too. I’ve always been a singer for as long as I can remember but being so depressed so long I didn’t really as much as I’d have liked. But for him I sing just about every day. Lotta swing-jazz numbers like from Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby and Caro Emerald. Some classic rock like Elton John and Billy Joel and Jethro Tull. He says he likes the way I sing their songs the best. Idk if I agree with him, but I believe him. 

He says we’re a dynamic duo in a way. Like since he dances and I sing, we’re a complete show. It’s the cutest fucking shit he’s ever said to me 

We kind of agreed to get married once the lockdown’s over. Neither of us really proposed to the other, exactly. We had been thinking about it for months (we’ve been talking about it since Christmas lmao- he’s said he wants to marry me so many times), but the first few weeks of this lockdown thing were really hard on me. It all felt very harrowing with everything changing all at once. 

And it was really touch-and-go for us. It was harder for me to feel him. And sure it had been hard before but it was… not quite as bad as this was. I almost thought we were done. 

But he stuck around, and helped me through it as much as he could despite how numb I was feeling. And he was still there when the dust settled, even stronger than before. So I told him one morning that I wanted to get married when all of this was over, and he agreed. 

So once the shelter in place order is lifted, we’re gonna go to the same jewlery shop he got me my favorite necklace, and pick out some rings. I for one am very excited.

And until then we’re perfectly content to enjoy this break from our normal everyday lives with each other. Even though it’s been harder for me to write we’re pulling through this whole thing just fine. 

[prongsmydeer]

Ayesha Liveblogs One Tree Hill S1

No matter how many times I watch the pilot I consistently forget that Nathan and Peyton used to date

“Don’t bother showering tonight” is that really your come-on Peyton I will never understand sports

Lmao @ Nathan and Peyton “OTP: Distracted Driving”

“You’re despicable, you know that,” said Dan, a literal future murderer

I’m always so thrown when ppl in shows start drinking at their workplaces like what kind of bold behaviour Whitey you work at a high school

“What are you wasting your time at now?” Nathan ur a terrible boyfriend

“I say that the people who pray here are wasting their time. God doesn’t watch sports” I know Lucas is pretentious as all hell but this is my favourite line in any sports show ever

Karen is such a good mom ahhhhh like she just wants Lucas to be happy and she knows he’ll put other people’s happiness first 

Dan calling Lucas ‘this kid’ like he’s not his wholeass son what a dick

It’s not lost on me that Keith telling Lucas stories about his father means that it’s Lucas’s grandfather Keith Scott is truly the only dad in this show who matters

“So why’d you just tell me all that” because he loves to monologue

“If I could [change the fact that Lucas exists], I would” Dan answer your door I need to send you a very rude telegram

I am in love with Moira Kelly and also I want Karen to punch Dan

The music of this show is really.... transcendent 

Djhfkjhfkjh since Lucas is implied to have like, five friends.... is that crowd of supporters hugging him just a bunch of people who think Nathan is a dick

I admire Lucas for deciding he was gonna put up with all this bullshit to do something he loves

Omg I forgot that Brooke wasn’t in the pilot she’s such a major character

“Nice hands” “Nice legs” Emo flirting in a jock setting lmaooooo

My inner 2007 angst awakens every time I hear Gavin Degraw. He is THAT bitch

“You ever think I might want to talk” Peyton and Nathan’s relationship is truly nothing but blind horniness they have nothing in common at all in this juncture of their lives

“I didn’t invite you to come in, I just asked if you wanted to” Peyton is so weird but I kind of want to marry her. Is this what Lucas feels like

Lucas’s economic status is really part of Brooke’s romance criteria at the age of 17 they teach the bourgeois early huh

Oh my god I cannot BELIEVE Jake recommended Atlas Shrugged to Lucas jhjhgjhgjh the undertones of this basketball show really are about capitalism

HAHAHAH Nathan’s word being “revenge” calm down Sasuke Uchiha

I haven’t said so yet but Haley is so very endearing she’s great

God. Lucas turning around to reveal to Dan that he’s cast away his name. HE is that bitch

Ghjkghjkgh Keith hissing at the rude Boosters mum. Love of my life

“Maybe he’s gay” “No, I think he’s just nice” who writes this dumbass show

“Do you even care that it’s slipping away” maybe it’s because I went away for university but the idea that someone is this deeply invested in their kid’s high school basketball career is. A lot

Nathan simultaneously trying to bother Lucas and pass English while about to fall in love: I can multitask!!!

Update: He also managed to trash Lucas’s favourite basketball court somehow in all his business. He really can multitask!

“If it makes you feel any better I called some woman a bitch the other day” [giggle] I love Karen and Lucas’s relationship

Haley is such a good friend to Lucas and hoo boy Nathan when do you grow a conscience

“You’re both so broody. You could brood together” that’s it, that’s Peyton and Lucas

These emails and VCR references are really dating this show

Nathan is a straight up sociopath in these early eps my god he humiliates Lucas publicly twice at this party and just pops over to Haley like “Hey cutie :) Idk why Lucas is so mad :) I’m rlly nice :)”

Nathan really taking his girlfriend’s car to hit on another woman how much of a crapbag

As soon as I said this he (drunk?) drove her car into a streetlight my god 

Deb and Karen having a nice lesbian coffee shop AU would be a pleasant turn in this show instead of literally anything that happens in either of their narratives

“Why would you even go there” “Because I loved getting dumped on” That is... accurate

“I’ll call you when you’re not so PMS” said Nathan, when his (ex) girlfriend rightfully lambasted him for crashing her car

I take it back Peyton and Nathan do have one thing in common it’s their disregard for traffic laws

HELL YEAH Keith IS your dad Lucas <3 <3 <3 <3 

Whitey talks a lot of shit for someone who advised Dan to abandon Luke 

I had been wondering why Lucas had the Scott name when Dan is such an ephemeral piece of shit and I guess there’s my answer thanks Karen 

Does Haley ever find out about the shit Nathan pulled at the party I feel like these are relevant details in her budding affection

“Dad send you to spy on me? Poison my drink?” This is the second time in two episodes Deb has been accused of being Dan’s spy I wonder if she still considers that a red flag 17 years into marriage

“One of the boys doesn’t have a father” BUUUUURN Dan

Rhkgjhgjkh the last moment of this scene:

Keith: There is enough room in my heart for each of my brother’s mistreated sons even the rude ones Nathan

Nathan, experiencing a split second of paternal love: :O

Ghkjghkjgh the Scott bonding in hatred of Dan continues with Lucas asking Nathan if he too would like to spite Dan:

Lucas: You will be receiving your “I Hate Dan Scott” Club invitation in the mail shortly Nathan, mom, Uncle Keith and I hold meetings biweekly

Nathan: Biweekly as in every two weeks or twice a week 

Lucas: Both! See you on Tuesday

“Does this mean we’re dating” yes it does the mixed CD is emo code

“Good luck with your game” “yeah, you too, Ma” hehehehe

Someone revoke this college medic’s license hoo boy

Ghjghkgh Lucas keeping his money tucked into his boxers what a doofus

I can’t believe Nathan and Lucas’s second big bonding moment is threatening dudes while in their boxers after beating on each other what a brotherly bond lmao

Okay but highkey if ur a lady and ur friends are gonna leave you alone and vulnerable at night get new friends

“I can live without my shirt” Nathan is thirteen shades of petty lmaooo

Dan is such a bad (abusive) father that Nathan literally would prefer to have none at all my god 

“Can I tell you a secret? I pretended too” just get marrrried 

“Thanks for cutting Lucas some slack” talk about accepting the bare minimum Haley kjhgkjhgkj

Brooke is really unbearable in this episode is it any wonder her, Lucas and Peyton’s relationship is as dysfunctional as it will soon become 

Hoo boy the one (1) time Nathan doesn’t do something douchey and he gets blamed for it 

LMAO @ Lucas approaching the one girl at this school with commitment issues with a bold “I wanna be here [in your heart]” hahaha

“Yeah, they can have their world,” said Lucas to Haley, about the two people they would literally go on to marry

The fact that Peyton doesn’t turn off her webcam and just covers it also really speaks to the era

This Gabe dude is really ready to assault a minor like he’s not just a r*pist he’s also a predator double KO 

It is not lost upon me that it looks like one pill has been popped out before so he is also a serial r*pist big fucking yikes

“What, you got a cellphone too, dawg? Things sure have changed” also quite dated hahahaha

They really went out of the way to redeem Brooke not only did she give Nathan and Haley a very very cute date she also saved her friend from being assaulted

“So you don’t have any brothers, do you” jhgkhgkhg Brooke please 

“Why are you only nice to me when we’re alone” a very legitimate question Haley

Nathan’s dating methodology: There’s nothing in life that can’t be solved with make-outs

Deb is really so nice but every time I look at her I think of her drinking a lot and sleeping with Nathan’s friends lmao

Haha that North Carolina sign explains the mild Southern accents 

Aieeeeeeeeeee you kiss that man and follow your dreams Karen

Even if Nathan is still A Lot this season him and Haley are so cute:

Haley, smiling: We can’t do this here right now

Nathan, giggling: We just did

Lucas says more to Dan by constantly leaving with a look of disgust than any words ever could

“My heart’s racing too. That’s what happens when I’m around you. (And on drugs. I’m very unstable Haley.)”

Lucas and Nathan’s very intentional “pressure from your dad” and “you don’t know anything about my dad” bc Lucas will not acknowledge that Senor Crabag Sr. is anything resembling a father bless 

Drunk tattoos with crush’s bff Lucas has decided to make all mistakes at once and I respect it

Poor Keith he is trying his best but Lucas just chose this week to hit his rebellious phase

YESSSSSSSSSS DEB KICK THAT ASS OUT OF THIS HOUSE

“Do you really think that Nathan would choose you over me” uh???? Are you not aware you are... the worst father in town

Brooke you were fully aware of Peyton and Lucas’s vibing and actively pursued him/interfered so you have no moral high ground to be like “:) I’d never choose a boy over my friendship”

Skillz and Mouth accurate “hoo boy don’t look” when ur friends start PDA

“Mom doesn’t want things to get back to normal, she wants them to be better” hell yeah Nathan gaining emotional intelligence

Lucas quit projecting your childhood issues onto Jake he too is a child let him decide how he wants to live Jenny’s 6 months old not like she’s gonna remember lmao

Damn Nathan LET LOOSE on Dan fuck that dude

JGFHJGFJGFJH I forgot Gavin Degraw had a cameo hahahahah

Did Luke.......... break into Jake’s house. His parents work at night how was he able to get into Jake’s coffee table

“You do not have to feel like a third wheel” The pure dumbass energy.... Peyton is literally CRYING do u really think her issue is “third wheel” you KNOW she and Lucas had a thing Brooke???????

Me watching this team form a brotherly bond over their mutual love of basketball: Mayhaps sports are... good 

Hahahaha Lucas threatening Peyton’s dad with a rake is weirdly endearing

“Hey you.” “Hey you, and you,” is a good summary of this seasons Brooke/Lucas/Peyton dynamic lmao

Why is Dan’s head... shaped that away. It is like a bar of soap

“I don’t mind you playing ‘Daddy’ to one of my offspring, but leave the good one alone, will you?” Dan. Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot at midnight and we’ll have words

“The whole Nice Guy thing is wearing kind of thin” foreshadowing for all the dick moves Lucas is about to pull lmao

“He’s got you skipping school now?” “Lucas talk to me when you get your tattoo removed”

Lucas:

Lucas is such a meddler lmao how many family dynamics is he going to alter

I don’t trust Dan being nice for a minute all he wants is the upper hand with Deb in the inevitable custody battle over Nathan

Props to Nathan and Haley for somehow, some way, being the only normal couple on this show despite their incredibly dubious origins lmao

Scott family dinners are bananas I count four (4) major revelations and they haven’t even revealed that Deb and Dan are separated

Lucas and Peyton are really hitting every fictional couple trope in this ep - road trip, bed sharing, hurt/comfort, truly the YA bases 

“The truth? In this house?” Props to Deb for drama lmao 

Brooke saying ‘I love you’ you’ve been dating for like two episodes but okay kjhgkjhg

I can’t say I understand Nathan’s logic lmao but I guess they have to bring him back to basketball sometime

Wow Lucas zero hesitation on that second kiss lmao u r a mess

This scene is the definition of “that escalated quickly” they go straight to undressing 

HAHAHAH NATHAN BEING SHIRTLESS IN HALEY’S DREAM FOR NO REASON 10/10 TEENAGE ACCURACY

“How do you explain being with me and not her?” “Because with you, I saw a future” that’s Dan code for ‘I’m a gold digger’

You’re literally macking on Peyton in the middle of the hallway while you’re dating the other most popular girl in school Lucas how are you this ridiculous and bold BREAK UP WITH BROOKE U DUMBASS

“So what are we going to do” I’ll tell you what you should do BREAK UP WITH BROOKE

Keith it is still daylight out stop bringing alcohol into this high school you have a drinking problem

“Can’t control love, you know?” THAT’S NOT ADVICE LUCAS BREAK UP WITH BROOKE

I really can’t handle watching Keith and Lucas self-destruct this episode how is Nathan the only Scott in a happy, healthy relationship

“You know that this is... wrong, so that makes it feel... deeper?” Lucas asks, as if he were not entirely in the wrong by carrying on with Peyton (who is not in a relationship) while dating Brooke

“I don’t want to hurt Brooke,” he said, about to start his third secret cheating makeout session of the week

“But then again our spouses aren’t here are they” [Deb opens door] COMEDIC TIMING

Gjjhgkjhg Nathan revealing his messed up intentions with Haley entirely by accident Scotts have no self-control whatsoever it’s their kekkei genkai

Lucas evading responsibility for his romance crimes by literally dying

Hahahah Karen’s confused vibes at Brooke are kind of the highlight of this episode 

How funny would it be if Lucas woke up to Karen scolding him about his tattoo

Hahahaha for such dysfunctional partners Nathan and Peyton are excellent exes 

AHHHHHHHHH LUCAS WAKING UP TO HIS BROTHER... MY HEART

Keith rlly was gonna propose after zero (0) days of dating I’m telling you no self-control is truly the Scott clan kekkei genkai

Ahhhh bless Karen’s compassion 

Dan is literally blackmailing his son into staying in his custody he is in Deb’s words an “abusive son of a bitch”

Fucking finally Lucas ends this sham of a relationship with Brooke

It’s wild that Nathan is the only Scott with a happy and healthy romantic relationship 

Nathan divorcing his parents is a real power move 

I’m glad Haley announced Sheryl Crow’s name because let me tell you I would not have recognized her on sight

“How’s my daughter” Lucas really chooses exclusively to hook up with people who have devastating emotional consequences for his immediate friend group huh

“Funny I didn’t know you were forgiving at all” Lmao Peyton is that really the position you’re going to take after cheating with your best friend’s boyfriend 

All the deodorant product placement lmao ‘this ep sponsored by Secret’ 

All things considered I think Lucas is handling Haley’s constant ditching p well 

Bfhkghghjg Keith buying a new shirt just to go to dinner with Karen stop

OH MY GOD THE EP REALLY WAS SPONSORED BY SECRET IT’S GOT SECRET ON THE CHEER COMPETITION BANNERS AND A LITTLE GIFT BAG RANDOMLY IN ALL THE CHEERLEADER CONFRONTATIONS JKGHKJGH

The comedic timing of “hungover idiots” panning to Karen and Larry kills me

“She used to be this totally original.... Haley” what does this mean????

I don’t think Nathan and Haley are being entirely fair to Lucas bc he was only a dick once she ditched him twice (or thrice?) in one weekend 

This boy toy auction as a concept is so inappropriate on so many levels

“I get Nathan for free” Fhjkfhkfjh Haley pls

God I was so very concerned about whether or not Nathan and Peyton were gonna kiss 

“You’re not a mess, you’re just in love” [Ole Del Paso Girl voice] Why not both?

“She’s nine months old, just in case you forgot” to be fair I assume Nikki gave birth so she would remember that you can’t hold that one over her 

It must take Lucas some mental disconnect to assume Peyton and Nathan are cheating when he also kissed Haley

Fhjfhkjfhjfh Keith fulfilling my fave trope of ‘we are not even dating but how about we get married bc we’ve been repressed in love for years’

“You know I asked your mom to get an abortion,” said Dan, to his literal son

I really can’t figure where this pregnancy storyline is going bc I know Brooke doesn’t have a baby

Nathan and Haley really need to consider oral or smth there’s a middle ground between making out and having vaginal sex

“It all hurts just the same” Brooke really out here trying to say that cheating is in any way equivalent to faking a pregnancy (even if only for a week)

Peyton and Brooke are way more invested in each other than Lucas 

“I got you a high five” Hahahhaa I love Peyton 

Gary like: Wow Nathan it’s humanizing that your father is an abusive dick

“Maybe this is the one that changed him” Lucas joining Dan as the second and only non-Dan member of the Dan Scott Apologism Club

It’s wholly unreasonable that Haley expects her boyfriend not to look at p*rn lmao

I love all this Lucas and Nathan bonding but I hate that it comes at the cost of Dan being near them at all u stay away from those boys u manipulative fuck

Ah the foreshadowing about Peyton changing in front of her webcam finally pays off

I’m no legal expert but I don’t think that taking your daughter out of state will help you in the custody battle in the long term Jake - nor will dropping out of high school

“What do I get out of it” r u 4 real Keith u dont get payment for loving your family

“I’m leaving because I can’t look at you anymore without my heart breaking” I like you Keith but that sounds like a You Problem

This is a fun way to shoot this episode One Tree Hill has such good directing tbh

Nathan discarding the Scott name from his jersey just like Lucas did in ep 2: 

Haley: Having sex will solve all of my problems Nathan what are you talking about

I remembered that at some point Deb and Keith have sex and I’m glad they fuck things up early bc I could not deal if it was later on

“I’ll miss you too, little brother” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

KJKGHKJHGJHKJHGKJHKJ I CAN’T BELIEVE NATHAN AND HALEY GOT MARRIED JUST TO HAVE SEX THIS IS WHY THEY DON’T LET PEOPLE YOUNGER THAN 18 VOTE

[lightsandlostbells]

Skam season 3, episode 7 reaction

AKA The One Where The Boy Squad Saved the Day

Episode 7 of season 3 is simpler compared to other episodes, artistically speaking - for most of it, there’s no slow motion, no big music moments, or any other Skam hallmarks. That is, until Even’s dramatic ass shows up at the very end. Which is quite fitting, in a way. 

SEASON 3, EPISODE 7 - “Are you gay?”

Clip 1 - Eskild becomes Isak’s guru

Eskild tries to help Noora get over William by showing her the wonders of Tinder. I don’t know if his distaste for William in S4 was something Julie invented that season, as maybe a nod to the part of the audience who did not care for William or Noorhelm, but in-universe I would buy Eskild developing that grudge against Willy around this time. I don’t think he quite knew how much of her S2 angst was William-related, considering she wasn’t an open book and she was dealing with assault-related trauma as well. Here he knows she’s hurting for reasons directly to do with William. 

Noora liked the guy on Tinder with the guitar, awww. William apparently had a guitar, as we saw during the More Than Words scene, but he was never shown playing it or talking about music.

“I just think you’re the kind of person who always has to do the right thing. You always have to be so good.” Hmmm, this says a lot about what Eskild thinks of Noora and her role in Kollektivet. Although I think in this case it mostly has to do with what Eskild says a moment later, about how everyone knows William isn’t going to come back. He really doesn’t think William will return for her and believes Noora is limiting herself by waiting for him. Just because Noora will wait for William doesn’t mean William will wait for her (which ... may have been true, it’s never clear in S4).

While watching this clip in real time, I wondered if, with all these moments reminding us that William is gone, Thomas wouldn’t come back for like a cameo in this season finale. Regardless of my personal feelings on the ship, Julie spent a full season on Noorhelm, and since there were Evak/Noorhelm parallels this season, if Evak ended up together, then Noorhelm would get some closure, right? It was actually a little surprising that she would tank her OTP like that without a hint of his return. 

Noora is making tea in a Star Wars mug. Is that her mug, or someone else’s? Who’s the Star Wars fan in the flat? Tbh ever since Eskild made that Warhammer reference in the first episode, I kind of like the idea of him having sci-fi/fantasy nerd tendencies. Imagine if Kollektivet had a tabletop game night, omg.

Isak has a little smile for just a fraction of a second at Eskild’s dramatics over the Noorhelm saga.

Eskild is really tired of Isak apologizing for the gay pride incident. I think once he got some distance from the situation, he remembered that Isak is young and just coming out, and not perfectly educated on all issues regarding to the LGBT community. Eskild himself likely made some similar mistakes when he was younger and newly out of the closet. Life is a learning process, there’s no point where any of us reach Mount Woke and forevermore say the right thing and hold all the right opinions about issues of social justice.

Also, at a certain point you just want people to stop saying sorry for their mistakes, because you’ve stopped caring about what they did and just want to move on. And sometimes it becomes more about the person saying sorry than the person they hurt, though I don’t think that’s the case here with Isak. But I do think Isak just does not want Eskild mad at him. He realizes he messed up and hurt someone close to him, someone that he frankly needs during this sensitive time in his life, and who already has done so much for him.

It’s hilarious how Eskild’s annoyed mood does a 180 once Isak says he needs some advice. Those are the magic words. Eskild is a dude who really, really wants to nurture others and take them under his wing. He wants to help. And he likes the idea of being Isak’s mentor. Of course there’s the satisfaction of having his opinion listened to and valued, but he also gets to help out a gay kid who’s not as sure of himself as Eskild. Really makes you wonder whether Eskild had his own guru or whether he had to go it alone - if this is a “pay it forward” situation, or if he’s telling Isak the things he wishes someone would have told him.

It’s kind of hard to think about long-term future headcanons for Skam since it existed so firmly in its present, but I love the idea that Eskild would become a counselor for troubled youth or LGBT teens or something like that.

This is also just delicious payback, because asking for help shows Isak does look up to Eskild and respects his opinion, which is what Eskild wants. It’s really fun as Carl Martin stretches out Isak’s request, playing with him. Messing with Isak is probably more satisfying than another apology. Meanwhile Isak rolls his eyes in peak bratty teenage mode. (Tarjei gives some first-rate bratty teenage face in this scene.)

Here’s the immortal guru line, ha! Didn’t Carl Martin improvise this part? 

It’s really nice that Isak felt he could go to Eskild with this concern, though. Coming out to Jonas made him relax a little bit, but Jonas can’t quite understand the specific scenario of being a gay guy (or pan guy in Even’s case) and having relationship drama. There are some factors in Isak and Even’s situation that could be influenced by them being two guys instead of a straight couple, so now Isak wants the input of another gay guy. Still, Isak is mostly looking at the ground while he openly admits his concerns about this thing with Even. He’s very vulnerable, getting it all out there. And honestly, he’s indicating to Eskild that this isn’t just a casual thing with Even - he’s invested in it, otherwise would he be so confused and upset about Even going back to his girlfriend? They weren’t just hooking up, Isak thought they were going to be together.

You can see the mention of “girlfriend” being the thing that sticks out to Eskild, and Isak noticing that and starting to get worried.

I really like this exchange where Eskild asks Isak how honest he wants him to be, and Isak says, “Maybe not too honest,” at first, then changes his mind and asks for the whole truth. That’s such a good little moment because you can see that Eskild wants to protect Isak’s feelings but also doesn’t want to give him false hope or lie to him. He’s really looking out for Isak’s best interests. And Isak doesn’t want to hear the harsh truth at first, which is real and vulnerable, but then he figures he better hear it anyway, which is a mark of maturity.

Look at the bucket of cold water splashed over Isak when Eskild tells him not many guys leave their girlfriends for a guy. This is like the episode opener from episode 4 all over again, except opposed to what Eskild said to Noora - “There are people who leave their wives and families to be with the ones they love.” It’s interesting because he’s talking from a more personal perspective here, as a gay man, rather than Noora’s issue with her het relationship, and his take is more cynical. 

Though even with Noora, Eskild was trying to soften the blow - it was clear he thought William was out of the picture for good, going off how he kept mentioning how Noorhelm had broken up despite Noora’s protests. Similarly, Eskild doesn’t want to let Isak down too much, he wants to qualify that he’s not God or Buddha, this is just his opinion … but he also can’t bring himself to openly lie (in his opinion) to Isak and tell him it’s going to work out fine.

Nothing like Eskild asking if his advice was helpful when Isak’s hope is draining fast, and the clip just ending there.

So I remember there was criticism of Eskild’s advice/POV here, and while I understand why because his advice is flawed and he ends up being wrong about Even, obviously, I think it’s important to keep in mind Eskild is coming from a very specific, very personal perspective, where he’s meeting guys on Grindr who are ostensibly hanging on to a straight identity while having gay sex. As that one dude in episode 2 wrote to him, he’s not gay but he likes to suck dick, etc. - and I doubt that random Grindr guy meant he was actually bi or pan rather than gay; in context he was likely disavowing any non-heterosexual identity. Eskild is talking about a specific type of guy who will have sex with men for pleasure, but would not commit to more long-term relationships with men - relationships that are perceived more negatively in society, relationships that will direct prejudice and scorn toward those involved, relationships that unfortunately can lead to terrible consequences due to homophobia, such as violence, discrimination, family disapproval, etc. He’s not getting a correct read on Isak’s situation - the guru is fallible. But his take on it is from personal experience. (Plus Isak is telling him how Even keeps running hot and cold, showing Isak affection then ignoring him, which is not going to give Eskild the best impression of the situation.)

Clip 2 - Nei, Vilde

My heart gets so warm whenever Isak and Sana are in the same frame.

“I read it last weeeeek.” Why is that one line delivery so funny and memorable? Tarjei is a human meme.

Isak is right, the correct answer is D. Sana is convinced it’s A. One of Sana’s greatest strengths is her conviction in her beliefs, but it’s also one of her biggest flaws. As we can see, sometimes she is strongly convinced she’s right when she’s not, and she can have trouble admitting that she’s wrong. (Another moment: that scene from S1 where Sana and Noora are talking about an assignment, Noora says Sana did a problem wrong, and Sana says that the answer key is wrong.) This part of the scene with Isak and Sana fighting over the answer is here to parallel the earlier scene with Sana talking about homosexuality not being supported by evolution and to foreshadow the coming scene where she does admit to Isak she was wrong about it. We can see that Sana, while a smart person, doesn’t have all the answers. She is just a teenager, after all. And we can see that she’s stubborn in her mindset, so for her to say she was wrong about something is a big deal for her.

Also, in Isak’s season he’s the one who’s got the right answer and it’s Sana who’s wrong, and I believe in Sana’s season she’s the one outperforming him, which is funny and fitting for their characters. They both think they’re the brains of the operation.

“Your own organs don’t release waste.” Sana ... do you not know what poop is....

I mean excretion takes other forms,too, but I am given to understand that poop is a globally recognized phenomenon.

Sana pinching her nose in exasperation is pretty funny, though. She must have perfected that gesture during her conversations with Vilde, but as it turns out, it has many applications!

“Just trust me, Sana, I know this.” “I trust myself and it’s A.” Character-defining statement for Sana right there.

I’d forgotten that Isak says, “This is my subject. I know what I’m doing.” Just to support all those fanfics where Isak is a scientist or doctor. Sometimes facts can be super common in fic, but not necessarily supported in canon, but this bit gives credence to scientist Isak outside of him just generally being smart and getting good grades in biology.

AND NOW, as of this week, we have Julie Andem herself saying that Isak is studying biophysics at university, for people who would like to run with her headcanons.

Isak is like, “Let’s just Google it, I’m sick of you being stubborn,” and Sana’s like, “Well, if you’re so uncertain that you have to check Google,” and I’m like, oh my god what a ridiculous duo, I can’t stop giggling at them sniping at each other. The crankiest friends, I love them.

Everyone’s least favorite teacher returns, still without a bra but this time without a racist comment. Uh, character development? (Wasn’t she some teacher at Nissen? Imagine walking into your classroom and all your students were watching extended shots of your nipples when the clip dropped earlier. Unless she usually free-boobs it, then it’s just another Tuesday.)

Isak and Sana can’t come to an agreement, so they agree to disagree by each choosing an answer and marking it. Almost like … they can agree to disagree on other topics … hmmmm...

You can see Sana frown in confusion as she reads the text, and my heart cracks a little with Isak’s response. He looks over with a smirk, teasing her about not knowing her name and it’s very cute, but his smile drops when he sees her expression. And then when he reads the text, Tarjei does such excellent and subtle acting. It’s not like Isak has a meltdown at the table or anything, but you can see him getting punched in the gut, the shock sinking in. He quietly puts the phone in his pocket, a little tremor in his voice.

Vilde, Vilde, Vilde. I actually love Vilde a lot, messy comments and opinions and all, but this is What Not to Do when you think someone you know might be gay. First of all, you shouldn’t be putting someone randomly on the spot like that, launching into such a personal question without even easing into the subject (“I hope you don’t find this question rude” - too bad, because it is rude). I mean, imagine if someone was randomly like, “Vilde, I hope you don’t think this is rude, but is your mom an alcoholic?” WTF. Second, Vilde doesn’t know Isak that well, certainly not well enough to be asking him that question. I don’t think that question would be appropriate from a close friend, either, but definitely not from their level of acquaintances. Third, if you think your friend might be gay, you should wait for them to bring it up to you, because it’s a very personal matter. It’s a sensitive topic and they’re likely to be feeling vulnerable; they might not be sure of themselves and still questioning their sexuality, they just might not be ready. Plus coming out is something each individual should have control over. With these rumors, Isak has this life-changing moment taken out of his hands.

Sana responds to the text well, though, not acknowledging it, changing the subject by asking about the next bio question, and taking care of their assignment for Isak. You know when she saw Vilde next she chewed her out.

This is probably when things really started to make sense to her about why Isak was so hung up about religion not being accepting of homosexuality, and why he confronted her about it. She realizes that no matter her point, maybe her words had some unintended meanings that weren’t the best for Isak to hear.

There’s fear in Isak’s eyes when Sana gets up. He looks at her like he thinks she might hate him now because she knows he’s gay :(

Isak is not ready to be labeled gay, really, so you can imagine how alarming this is. Not just that he had a relationship with a boy, but that he IS something. He’s something that he’s not yet ready to accept about himself, but suddenly everyone in school knows it about him? 

To make matters worse, when Isak asks Vilde where she heard it, she mentions that she heard Isak and Even had a thing. So it’s not just that Isak is gay, it’s that Isak had a relationship with Even, like ... exactly how much do they know about his life?

What do you think Even thought about being outed? We don’t know whether he was out or not, whether he was OK with it. He wasn’t wearing a pan pride button until S4. Maybe he was fine with people knowing about his sexuality, but it still wasn’t Emma’s call to make, it was his.

Of course here we learn Emma spilled the beans after hearing it from Sonja. You can imagine how this went: Even told Sonja about him and Isak. I don’t have a problem with him doing that. She was his girlfriend of four years, she deserved to know the truth about why Even was ending their relationship. And she also had graduated and didn’t go to Nissen so she wasn’t exactly enmeshed in the Nissen social sphere, there seemingly wasn’t much risk in telling her. Then Sonja contacted Emma, the sweet first-year girl who she got along with so well, to warn her off Isak. I don’t think it was wrong of her to do this in theory? I guess Sonja could have said, “Hey, Isak is not worth your time,” without going into more details about Isak and Even’s relationship, but who knows how effective that would have been. I get it, she doesn’t want Emma to waste her time and get her heart broken. Ultimately it was Emma’s choice whether to keep Isak’s sexuality to herself or not. And we don’t know exactly how Emma outed Isak, since the details Vilde gives are on the vague side. It could have been Emma venting to a friend but not intending to spread it around school, except someone else happened to overhear. It could have been the friend passing it on to a friend, who passed it on to another friend, and it kept going way more than Emma wanted or predicted. Or, I mean, it could have been Emma really angry at Isak and not bothering to keep it a secret, not understanding the severity of what it’s like to be outed (because it’s 2016, Isak, get out of the closet, geeeeeez).

But whether it was through carelessness or malice, outing Isak was clearly wrong of Emma. And frankly worse than what he did to her - he hurt Emma by leading her on, but outing Isak could have had really bad consequences. Isak is lucky that his friends are good people who accepted him instead of rejecting him. Even if he wasn’t gay-bashed or something extreme like that, he could have had to deal with homophobic assholes at school. We don’t see Isak dealing with homophobes until S4, but it’s not unreasonable to think there would be some shitheads who might use homophobic slurs or make fun of him, laugh at him, etc.

Actually, although he doesn’t really deal with bullying in this season, we do see that he has to deal with people like Vilde and the dance girls, well-intentioned individuals who still make him uncomfortable with inappropriate or generalizing remarks. All of that is a hell of a lot to deal with as a gay teenager. It should have been Isak’s choice when he was ready to deal with all of that by coming out to the school. No matter her intentions, Emma took that away from him.

This is my one substantial critique of the season and the only thing I would change. I think we definitely see that Emma’s actions had negative effects for Isak, but it would have been nice to get more open acknowledgment that outing someone else without their consent is wrong. Either by someone explicitly saying that Emma did something wrong, or by Emma apologizing to Isak for what she did. Or both. Her reaction in her final scene with him does seem like she’s apprehensive about speaking to him, so maybe she realizes she messed up, but it would have been good to get this message vocalized for the audience. Don’t out people against their will.

Vilde says, “Sorry if it’s not true.” But not sorry if it is true, because Vilde doesn’t realize that it’s not the veracity of the rumor, it’s the violation of privacy.

Vilde thinks she’s being an ally, too, except of course her comments are just going to make Isak feel worse. This is what he fears - being judged because he’s gay, coming out = people seeing him as a concept instead of as an individual. Vilde is playing into the same thoughtlessness as Emma in episode 3: she’s making generalizations, and positive generalizations are still a problem. “I love gays!” is dehumanizing. Not all gay people are the same. Some are nice. Some are mean. Some are fun. Some are boring. You know. Like the rest of humanity. She’s showing that she’s slotting Isak into this neat little box, which is what she wants to avoid.

If you’ve read Ulrikke’s Skam fanfic for charity, there’s a bit where Vilde kisses Isak on the cheek because she’s trying to make him her gay best friend. But of course Isak is anything but the “gay best friend” stereotype. 

It is kind of ridiculous to imagine Vilde looking at Isak and going, ah yes, there’s a guy who would make a perfect gay best friend. Like Vilde is expecting a shopping partner or someone to give her grooming tips and romance advice, and instead Isak’s preferred BFF activities would consist of lying around, playing FIFA, and smoking weed.

Clip 3 - Coming out to the boys

Jonas asks the important questions, like how does IKEA name their furniture? (And IKEA had an answer for Jonas.) (They told him to have fun at the pre-drink on Friday, lmao. IKEA was just as deep in Skam hell as the rest of us.)

The random girl saying hello to Isak is one of those innocuous-seeming things that really illustrates the negative effects of being outed. Isak is exposed. He’s suddenly a public figure. Even in a “positive” way that’s a lot to deal with; not to be a broken record but he should have been his choice when to come out so he could prepare himself for this attention. 

Lmao, Magnus and Mahdi have their own little musical duo. Also, David’s rapping and dancing in this scene is the funniest shit. His comedic timing was great in this clip.

You can notice a few subtle differences in how Magnus and Mahdi greet Jonas versus how they greet Isak, because there’s still awkwardness over what happened at Emma’s party. Mahdi doesn’t look at Isak at first.

I don’t usually comment on this type of stuff but this is one of Isak’s fluffiest looks. Whenever he leaves off the snapback? Fluff factor increases 200%. Helps that he spends part of this scene looking skittish as a baby deer.

Jonas is the one to mention Isak’s pre-party, signaling that he is cool with Isak and softening the awkwardness of Isak having to do it. Jonas is such an excellent bro.

Magnus readily agrees to the party; I think he’s just such an easy-going dude and not someone who likes conflict. Jonas semi-subtly asks if they’re all in, and there’s a little moment where Isak and Mahdi exchange a look. Isak says that he won’t get violent this time, which is his way of saying he’s sorry, and Mahdi is cool with it and gives a giant lovely smile. So just like that, peace is restored in the boy squad.

I remember this was the clip where I fully turned around on the boy squad and went from, hmmm, don’t know how I feel about these teenage boys? to I love them FOREVER. Just in time for the magnificent Fredag clip.

Of course, then Magnus just has to bring up that totally wacky rumor about Isak being gay. Lol so funny that everyone thinks that!! Because it’s obviously not true!! The relief Isak must feel at making up with his friends must grind to a halt. Because it’s one thing that they’re forgiven him for the fight, but are they going to be OK with him once they learn he’s gay? He came out to Jonas and it went well, but what about these guys? Coming out is going to have to be a continuous process for him, isn’t it? And maybe it will get easier but can it ever get easy?

 I’m not sure Isak planned to come out to Magnus and Mahdi when he sat down. There’s a text conversation between Isak and Jonas about telling the boys since the rumors went around, but I don’t know if Isak entered the room with the intention of coming out right then and there, or if he was just planning on making amends and then coming out to them in a different scenario, like maybe he wanted to tell them at the pre-drink (hey, it could be easier after a few drinks), but Magnus bringing up the rumors sort of pushed the issue. At least when he came out to Jonas, he got to plan the time and place and had some control over the situation.

Jonas is there, though, and he realizes that this conversation could head into uncomfortable territory for Isak. The upside is that Isak does have Jonas there for emotional support, he has at least one friend he knows has his back about being gay, he’s not doing this alone. I live for Jonas glancing at Isak during this conversation to check on how he’s doing. Which is not great - Isak is REALLY uncomfortable listening to Magnus and Mahdi talk about the rumors.

I really like how they handle this part of the conversation, though, regarding the rumors about Mahdi fighting Isak for being gay. It puts Isak and Mahdi, who haven’t always gotten along this season, on similar ground. Mahdi is also a victim of a stereotyping and generalizing, both “neutral” and negative - that he’s Muslim when he’s not, that he’s homophobic when he’s not. Assumptions that are certainly made because of his race. I can’t speak for Norwegians specifically, but it’s a widespread stereotype that POC are less tolerant of LGBT people and more likely to be homophobic. It’s a good thing for Julie to casually include a rejection of that stereotype. Also that Mahdi is really bothered and not amused by other people thinking he’s a homophobe. Magnus thinks this whole thing is so ridiculous it’s funny, while the others really don’t find it funny at all; it’s shitty for Isak and Mahdi personally, and Jonas knows that Isak is struggling.

I do love Magnus overall but I want to duct tape his mouth shut for a large part of this conversation.

Okay, he drives me up the wall here but admittedly I do get a laugh out of that satisfied huff he gives at the end of the talk, like “Good chat, glad we got that cleared up.” Having no idea the seriousness of this conversation.

Poor Isak. His discomfort throughout this clip is very well-acted, good job, Tarjei. He can’t even look his friends in the eye at the beginning. 

And that eye contact Jonas shares with him before Isak starts to tell them the truth!!!! Best bro!!!! He also keeps looking to Jonas for support during the talk, before he tells the boys about Even.

The way Isak comes out here is roundabout, just like before. Like he did with Jonas, he builds up to it - he’s not just like, “Well, there’s some truth to the rumors,” or anything so direct. He starts by winding into the story about the dance chicks, taking some time to get to the point. He needs to work up to saying the words.

An interesting part is when Isak asks if they remember the guy who came up to them and Magnus is like, “The gay guy?” and Isak wants to know why he thinks he was gay. Because Isak is of course thinking about Even, not the random dance instructor. But there’s some stuff to unpack with how Isak gets maybe a little tense or alert about Magnus thinking Even is gay. There are a couple ways you could read his reaction: that Isak is still dealing with what it means to be gay and to be seen as gay, the social perception of it, and can’t turn off the part of his brain that’s full of anxiety about seeming gay, and wants to know what it is Magnus picked up about Even - could it apply to Isak, too? Or that Isak is still thinking about Eskild’s guru advice and Even’s general hot and cold-ness and wondering if Even really is gay (or bi, or pan, or into dudes) and wanting another take on it? Or you know, just confusion over how Magnus could know that much with such a brief interaction. 

To be fair, all of these interpretations assume Isak believes Magnus is capable of a deeper level of perception that he perhaps is, lmao. Or, on the other hand, if someone like Magnus could pick up that Even was perhaps gay after seeing him for like 10 seconds, then what does that say about how people see Isak? 

It’s honestly pretty funny that Isak is like “Don’t you remember the guy who was such a tall swoopy-haired drink of water? Didn’t him returning Jonas’ hat burn into your minds for all eternity until you pass from this world and it’ll be the last thing you see on your deathbed?” Isak, those guys were in a dance girls coma, a random dude returning a hat was mostly a non-event to them. (Yes, Jonas remembered that moment and figured out he must be Isak’s crush, but Jonas is the The Best Friend and paying close attention to all Isak-related anomalies.)

Once more, Isak comes out to people not by saying he’s gay, but by describing his actions (“We’ve had a thing”). Quickly reinforced by Magnus asking whether he’s gay and Isak reflexively rejecting the label. It goes from Isak saying, This is what I did and Magnus saying, So this is who you are? and Isak saying, No, that’s not who I am. Well, maybe a little bit.

I mean, he does say he’s a little bit gay, but I feel like that’s a concession that yeah, hooking up with a dude is not a straight thing to do, he probably feels like it would be stupid to pretend otherwise. But him fumbling with the gay label here shows how concerned he still is about the perception of others about his sexuality. He still has hangups about what it means to be gay and wants to distance himself from societal stereotypes, and he quickly backs into a defense of himself. Isak might be a little gay but he’s not SO gay he’s into every guy he meets. Which should be obvious - he’s not into every guy out there just as these straight boys are not attracted to every single girl on the planet. But Isak is very insecure. Like at its core, this part is sad to me, because he wants to make sure these other guys are not uncomfortable with him and they don’t see him as a threat. It’s completely understandable why he has these insecurities, because of homophobic ideas about predatory gay men, but it’s still depressing that he feels he needs to defend himself when the words about him having a relationship with a guy are barely out of his mouth.

However, here is another really good moment! Magnus is confused because Isak (in his eyes) hooks up with girls all the time, and Isak doesn’t really know how to say he was lying or faking, or he doesn’t want to say he is not into girls at all yet (because if he’s like, “I’m not into girls,” Magnus is going to be like, “Sooo… you are gay?”) BUT before Isak has to handle this deeply awkward moment, blessed Mahdi is like, “Well, he could be pansexual?” THANK GOD. We as the audience know that Isak is not pan (or bi) but it’s completely reasonable as an outside suggestion that Isak might be. So often this is framed as one or the other, Isak could only be gay or straight. A lot of canons won’t even bring up bisexuality, and it’s really rare to hear pansexuality mentioned at all. Bravo, Skam. 🙌

So this tense moment where Isak is suddenly put on the spot and potentially asked to explain his sexual history is diverted by his friends casually discussing and debating pansexuality and bisexuality. Is this the most #woke way they could have talked about it? Well, no, but it’s a realistic discussion and certainly a good thing for the teenage audience to hear. These characters are not experts on every social issue out there, but they’re open to being educated and sharing knowledge with each other.

Like I kind of laugh at Isak pursing his lips, suddenly excluded from his own coming out while his friends debate labels. In a way it is weird that they’re suddenly talking about whether Isak could be bi or pan right in front of him, but not with him, just among themselves. It’s meant in a good-natured way though, they’re trying to understand him. And Isak must find this deeply surreal but preferable to being grilled personally on how he identifies. Of course they could have just asked him whether he was bi or pan but I don’t think Isak was ready to answer that question.

King Jonas is like “However, he identifies, he’s having a pre-party on Friday,” because hey, that’s the most important thing here, where and when they can get drunk. (For real, bless Jonas for changing the subject before it got too strange.)

Magnus using the f-slur is jarring and not excusable and I mean, I hope Jonas later on was like, “Don’t say that word, dumbass,” and Magnus went home and Googled words not to use when your bro might be pansexual and educated himself. I’m not excusing him, but I don’t think we don’t hear anything like that from him later so hopefully he wised the fuck up.

But again, duct tape.

At least Isak does not seem rattled by it and uses the opportunity to roast Magnus. Because it’s just so easy.

Not gonna lie, the clip ending so abruptly after Magnus is like, “Huh?” makes me laugh.

Clip 4 - Love letter, kinda

Is this the shortest individual clip in all of Skam? It’s less than a minute long. I can’t remember any others that are shorter.

I love that Isak stops and takes a moment to size up his locker, bracing himself for his daily battle. And that it just … doesn’t happen. He’s downright stunned when the locker doesn’t fight him and gives way easily. Isn’t it wonderful when a problem that’s been bothering you is finally gone?

Regarding Isak’s locker of character development, the meaning is very clear. Isak came out to his friends and it’s not the end of the world. They accept him. So his locker (closet) can open without a struggle. He’s not stuck in the closet or struggling to keep his secrets from spilling out. It’s fine. It’s such a simple metaphor but it’s lovely.

And on top of that, he has another message from Even!

Even drew that damn phone twice, you can see subtle differences in each version (besides the obvious text messages).

Again, I love Even’s sketches so much. He’s has such a clever, creative, romantic mind. The “this universe” side of the sketch is acknowledgment that he received Isak’s message, but didn’t reply. The “same time in a completely different universe” sketch is what he feels he SHOULD have done, what he wanted to do but couldn’t get the courage to do, or felt he couldn’t. It’s so poignant! There’s so much longing! I swoon. 

This sketch is an apology, too, because he knows Isak must have been hurt by Even leaving him hanging yet again, especially right after Even must have given him some hope with the cheese toastie sketch. This is Even acknowledging that he should have replied and in a better world, he would have.

It makes you think so much about what was holding Even back. I don’t think it was just Sonja (tbh I wonder if Sonja was really in the picture, to be discussed later), I think it was just simply his hesitance over Isak’s comment about mentally ill people. He gave Isak the cheese toastie sketch because he saw Isak was sad and wanted to let him know Even still cared, that his feelings were still there. But then, you know, Isak found the sketch and sent Even a text, and interacting with Isak again just made Even have another round of doubts. He felt like he shouldn’t be doing this, he shouldn’t be continuing this thing with Isak or encouraging it. But at the same time, Even does not want Isak to be in pain. And despite his reservations, despite everything standing in his way, Even wants Isak.

The “miss you” is such a punch in the gut, too. Like we know Even misses Isak because he drew them having cheese toasties together, in another, better universe. But it’s also good to see him state the words so directly. Again, the longing. My heart can’t take it.

This is the drawing that ends up on the wall of the Evak apartment in S4. Isak saved it and they both decided to put it up, even when all the drama had passed, because it was special to them. I like to think it’s a reminder to them of what they went through to be together, and to treasure their life in the present, because going through hell was worth it to arrive at their happiness together.

Look at Isak’s little smile, awwwww.

Not to ruin this beautiful moment or anything but as people have pointed out, Tarjei is reacting to a blank piece of paper.

I think I’ve said this before but looking at Even’s drawing here reminded me of how I am an utter wreck of a human being when I think about his drawings being in the S3 header. Just Isak surrounded by Even’s sketches. Even’s mind, Even’s personality. Even as an integral part of the season, of Isak’s story. I see an Illuminati symbol surrounded by dicks and I’m overcome with emotion. This season still got its claws in me, goddamn.

Clip 5 - REUNION CLIP

This clip is just so heartwarming. When this aired the Skam train had left the station, internationally speaking, and the fandom was so happy and having such a good time with this quality content. It’s really amazing how fast the fandom grew. I think the reaction to this clip was maybe when it sank in for me that Skam was getting big on Tumblr.

The boys talking about russ music at parties reminds me of how S3 is so devoid of anything russ-related compared to other seasons. If Skam had continued until graduation, do you think we’d see the boy squad participating in russ at all, or would they opt out? I mean, I guess we have Jonas’ thoughts on the matter, but what about the others? We don’t see them planning anything, obviously, but a lot of us wanted to see the boys in those overalls. How common is it not to participate?

The way Jonas says “Nate Dogg” cracks me up.

Isak is trying, really trying to get invested in this conversation, but his mind can’t help but roam elsewhere, to Evenland. He is wearing the exact same outfit as in the Bros clip of episode 5, and it’s a similar setup, scene-wise - he’s at a pre-drink with his boys and they’re engaged in a conversation, but he’s very disconnected from it all. The difference here is that Isak has re-established that social connection with them, so Jonas is quick to notice Isak really isn’t there with them, and he checks with Isak. Not just how Isak is feeling right then and there, but making sure to ask about the Even situation. Jonas can deduce that whatever’s got Isak in a mood, it’s probably Even-related. And because Isak has opened up to Jonas, he doesn’t have to sit there in misery the whole time.

The setup of this scene is subtly different from the Bros clip, too. In that one, the boys were all on different pieces of furniture - Magnus and Mahdi on some couch, Jonas across from them on a chair, and Isak between them on another chair - and it made it easy for Isak to sit there disengaged from the group because of the distance. Here they’re all sitting around the same table, a united front, and it’s not as easy for Isak to detach himself. He’s in the same place as they are, he’s level with them.

When Isak says Even has a girlfriend, Magnus asks if he is pansexual. HOW RIGHT YOU ARE, SON. Look at Magnus, using his new vocabulary. 

These boys are just darling. I kind of love how Jonas is the friend who is like 100% Team You, like … the friend who will join in with you when you’re spilling your romance woes and be like, “What is his DEAL?” and give you all that commiseration you want, but also the advice you need to hear. And Magnus is like oooo, are we talking about Even? Isak’s friends want all the dirt on their boy’s boy. Like they are invested, they are ready and willing to hear about Isak’s interpersonal issues. 

But isn’t it nice for Isak to be able to talk about this with people? That once he’s no longer keeping this huge secret, he can talk with his friends about his romance problems, just like they can talk about their girl drama? It’s no different than Magnus talking about Vilde, except with less TMI. That’s the obvious contrast between this scene and the Bros clip. Isak starts off detached in both scenes, but in this one the boys bring him back in.

And to be fair, Isak could hypothetically had shitty friends who didn’t accept him, or who were theoretically OK with him being gay but didn’t actually want to hear him talk about hooking up with boys because it made them uncomfortable. Unfortunately, that happens in real life. Like … Isak was not unjustified in his fears and in his keeping secrets. It’s just that his friends turned out to be great, and that opening up to them was a positive step.

One annoying part about coming out to his friends: Isak having to deal with Magnus’ incredibly heterosexual questions. But also, it’s nice that the other boys are clearly rolling their eyes and groaning at Magnus being a dumbass, it’s treated as Magnus bieng inappropriate. And this exchange is a small but valid misconception to include in the show, because it’s a big thing for straight people to ask who’s the man and who’s the woman in a gay relationship - they’re still mapping the relationship onto heteronormative roles. Each romantic relationship MUST have a man or woman role in it. And of course that’s not the case. Not to mention this question is also clearly linked to sexual roles, like … two men having sex are two men. It doesn’t matter what they’re doing during that sex. No one’s the “woman.” (I mean, I think Magnus is asking how they decide who’s the top and who’s the bottom? But there are no guidelines for that, either, lol. Those are things people decide as individuals when having sex, it’s not a universal rule who does what. Or I guess Magnus is just very confused about how gay sex works, lmao.)

Magnus’ question always reminds me of this scene from The Office.

Isak’s roast of Magnus here is one of the finest roasts I’ve ever heard, like someone serve it with carrots and enter it in the county fair because it’ll win a blue ribbon. He goes in for the drag about straight sex and then circles back for a snap at Magnus’ lack of action! Double roasted! So roasted it’s burnt! You’re going to be chewing on that sucker and end up spitting it into a napkin. Even Jonas is impressed.

Lmao, I know Magnus is meant to be the clueless straight guy, but I like headcanoning him as stumbling into a bisexual epiphany in a few years. Like sometime after he graduates he’ll be like … ohhhhhh, that’s why I had those questions about gay sex for Isak and was so invested in Evak and was struck speechless by Even. 

JONAS IS THE FUCKING BEST, LISTEN TO HIM AND HIS WISE OLD WIZARD EYEBROWS, ISAK

Really, Jonas just cuts past the bullshit and says for Isak to put his foot down about this whole Even situation. It’s now or never. Stop letting Even play with your heart. Did Jonas have a flair for relationship advice when he and Eva were together, or has he gained some wisdom from his own experience with love drama?

This scene is just such a joy! Usually in media, the gay characters are the ones who help out the straight characters with their romantic drama. Here it’s the opposite. Especially because these are straight boys who are completely fine with giving their gay bro advice on how to get his man. This is honestly great of Julie to normalize this behavior. I’ve heard comments that maybe this situation is idealized, that the boy squad are so cool with everything, but you know what? Skam, for all its realism, is frequently about ideal outcomes - not just how things are, but how they should be. Giving teenagers a roadmap of how to react in unknown situations.  

Also, how great is it that Isak has been listening to endless conversations about girls, sitting through dance chicks performances, basically going through all these social rituals and bonding with his friends over heterosexual desire, feeling so isolated from it all, and now finally he’s included? His coming out has opened the door for Isak to both be honest about his own attraction to men and no longer having to feign interest in girls. Freeeedoooooom!

The boys are also using their knowledge of dating girls to help out Isak, translating it to him dating a boy. And I mean, there is a different social context with straight relationships and gay relationships, so their advice might not always fit perfectly with Isak’s situation. However, it matters that they’re not othering Isak (well, Magnus is with his questions, but those are laughed at and shut down). They’re able to maintain an easy connection with Isak, not filtering him through a different lens because he’s into a guy. Which is absolutely what Isak wants, to be treated the same.

Isak is very encouraged by the boys telling him to put Even on the spot and be blunt with him about what’s happening with them. I think it’s funny that Magnus is like, “Yeah, it sucks when she leaves you on read,” and we hear it happens to him all the time. Somehow that does not surprise me!

Isak is friendlier and not as blunt as Jonas encouraged him to be in the text message to Even, thanking Even for the drawing at the beginning. He’s human, he’s soft for Even, he can’t totally hide it. But he does make it clear that if Even doesn’t want something more, then this needs to end. 

“Call me when you’ve broken up with your girlfriend.” What a line. You harness that self-respect, Isak.

They’re all so proud of their boy Isak for standing up for himself. They’re even like “Bros! Brothers!” when they clink their cans. You have to imagine that even if this thing with Even hadn’t worked out, Isak had a strong support system to get him through the heartbreak.

Lmao, Even answers immediately. Isak giving him that ultimatum and laying down the law really made him sweat, huh.

No, really, let’s talk about what Even thought when he got this text.

Now personally I believe Even was no longer in a clear relationship with Sonja when he got this text. I think whatever happened with them at Emma’s party was either temporary or ill-defined, and they were still technically on a break through all of this. Mostly because Even ends up getting to Isak’s apartment SO FAST. Like ... was Even breaking up with Sonja as he was running out the door??? Did he shoot her a break-up text during the night, after when Isak was asleep? I’d like to think he didn’t do Sonja that dirty. 

But yeah, Even responds so quickly. Right after Isak sends that first text, Even realizes that he might lose him. And after all this hesitation, knowing that Isak doesn’t want mentally ill people around, fearing that he could hurt Isak, that Isak could reject him once he finds out the truth … after his efforts to push Isak away, Even can’t do it. When Isak makes plain that Even has to put up or shut up, it takes zero time for Even to make a decision. Or at least, he has to talk to Isak. The thought of losing Isak outweighs any other concerns he might have. There’s something about the simplicity of it that gets me. When there’s no time or room for doubt, Even chooses Isak in a heartbeat. 

Jonas is of course the master of strategic texting. Don’t call Even, because calling will put you on the spot and bring you closer together than texting. Isak has to be a little aloof, make Even think he’s really about to let go. Play it cool. The magic words are Chiller hjemme. Lets him know you might be available, but you’re not desperate to talk with him. (Seriously, how did Jonas get this smooth?? I assume from experience but lmao, the evolution between S1 and S3 Jonas is like ... Bulbasaur and Venusaur.) (I don’t know Pokemon that well, if there’s one that has magnificent eyebrows please let me know.)

Isak’s facial expressions throughout this whole texting debate are so funny to me. He’s practically a wide-eyed innocent? He’s so earnest, he really does want to talk to Even! Plus with his little curls popping out from under his snapback, he looks very young and fresh-faced to the whole ultimatum via text message thing.

And he keeps wanting to add more to the text, like “just call me,” or suggesting a smiley, and Jonas shoots that shit down. What a character moment, honestly? Isak the young inexperienced texter and Jonas who has gone through multiple desired relationships. It is really cute that Isak wants to add a smiley! But Jonas is right, it completely would have made him seem too eager and destroyed the perception of aloofness. 

What smiley would he have landed on, though? 😀 or 🙂 or 😁 or 😎? I’m partial to the sunglasses emoji myself. Chiller hjemme 😎

There is a conversation to be had, by academics who study the impact of modern technology on everyday communication, about the instinctive knowledge these teenagers have about subtleties in non-verbal expression, such as recognizing the impact that a smiley can have in changing the tone of a text message, and combing Skam for all related examples of strategic use of electronic messaging and/or social media to send messages to their peers.

STRAIGHT UP

Sometimes I think Marlon’s finest acting on the show is that self-assured look he gives Isak when he says Even will call, or that gasp of overjoyed satisfaction when Even shows up at the door a few minutes later. Those are just some damn fine expressions.

This moment where the boys sit in silence, waiting for the text, is so good! They’re hooked into the drama! They want their boy to get his man! And that forlorn shot of the phone sitting on the table among the beer cans, inactive. Not lighting up with the desired response from Even.

It’s also really sweet when the boys try to offer suggestions why Even isn’t responding. Even Magnus has a reasonable idea about checking the typing bubble. When it seems like Isak has given up, Mahdi says maybe Even is just somewhere he can’t talk right now. (Which was accurate, seeing as Even was probably hauling ass over to Isak’s apartment.)

Poor Isak, you could see how he was getting hopeful and feeling better when this whole texting idea started, he was proud of himself for being proactive and putting his foot down with Even’s indecisiveness, he had a little smile and some light in his eyes. And now, the resignation is seeping in. Tarjei does a lot of these smaller reactions so well. Isak is still smiling a little, but it’s bitter, he’s telling them that Even is going to flake again. I mean, I’m not even sure Isak is totally convinced that Even won’t respond. I feel like he does still have that spark of hope, he’s just trying to tamp it down. He knows Even has a history of running hot and cold and he doesn’t want to get too optimistic.

Guys, I’m so emotional about these kids. Tarjei is such a good actor that all of his micro-expressions are giving me pinpricks to my heart. And I’ve seen this a million times and I know that in less than five minutes Isak’s going to be shaking off his virginity like he’s a golden retriever come in from the rain, BUT. But I feel so bad for this kid and his disappointed face.

And the rest of the boys, too. They’re there with their friend Isak getting his heart broken. Even, you’re letting down not just the man of your life, but the whole crew!!! 

The other boys try to make some conversation about other topics but Isak just sits there, checking his phone again. At this point, watching the clip for the first time, I definitely thought Even was headed over to Isak’s - no way could they have this random conversation about fermenting beer at school without something big to interrupt it. Also, we hadn’t seen Even at all this week, so he probably had to make an appearance. Still, that wait? Feels like forever.

THAT DOORBELL RING, YESSSSSS. Didn’t our hearts leap up at that simple sound?

How Even got there so fast is such a mystery, too. I guess he doesn’t live that far away, and he could have taken his bike, but I mean, he’s literally there in two minutes after Isak sends the Chiller hjemme text. Two minutes! Sometimes it takes me two minutes just to put on my shoes and leave the house.

I kind of like the idea that maybe Even was already in the neighborhood, or out for a walk or something, trying to work up the courage to go over to Isak. There’s an Instagram post from Magnus of the boys drinking in the kitchen, so if Even happened to see it, he could recognize it as Isak’s kitchen, he could know Isak was at home, he might find himself wandering in that direction….

Lmao, I love them asking Isak if he invited more people and Isak being like, nah, you guys are the only friends I have. It’s kind of self-deprecating but uh … also true. And of course that’s why it was important for these bros to accept Isak’s sexuality.

The boys are really into saying Eskild’s name for some reason, they do it in episode 2 as well. WHERE IS MY ESKILD/BOY SQUAD INTERACTION. I wrote this in the episode 2 recap but I want to know what the boys thought of Eskild, especially prior to Isak coming out, because that probably would have influenced Isak’s attitude toward coming out to his friends?

We don’t get a shot of Even standing outside the building, even though it would be within Isak’s POV. I’m assuming because it would have been too complicated or time-consuming to film for just a short shot. Or maybe for Dramatic purposes, it’s more striking to just have Even appear after the week by smoldering in the doorway, and it heightens Isak’s brief anxiety by keeping Even’s reveal in suspense. But what do you suppose Even was doing outside as he waited? Bouncing up and down nervously as he tends to do? Hands in his pockets? Panting from getting to Isak as fast as he could?

Speaking of Drama, lmao how dramatic is Even, that he just SHOWS UP, in the time it takes to make toaster strudel, with no warning? Hypothetically he could’ve texted I’m coming over to Isak, but of course that would ruin the intended effect of Even just landing at Isak’s door. It’s such a cinematic movie. I think love of movies is so ingrained into Even’s personality that sometimes he just does what a romantic comedy protagonist would do.

Or else Even was just not thinking anything but Isak Isak Isak must get to Isak and didn’t even consider anything but getting his ass in motion. Which frankly, I think is quite likely!

This is a very minor point but the way this clip was filmed always throws me when Isak gets up and we see how tiny the table is. They show it at the start of the clip, but the texting debate feels like some knights of the round table shit in terms of importance. It feels like it should be way bigger and instead they’re sitting at this little square.

The boys are so delighted that Even is there. And it makes me laugh so hard that Magnus is excited about getting to meet Even, L M A O. I mean, even if he assumed that Isak and Even were just going to have a long talk and not bang it out, how awkward would that have been? Who wants to meet your friend’s sorta-maybe-potential boyfriend when they’re presumably about to have a serious discussion about the fragile state of their relationship?

And of course Isak is like FUCK THAT about his friends meeting Even right then and there. Tarjei’s delivery of, “You can’t meet him, what the fuck are you saying?” is perhaps underrated in its comedy.

Lmao, Isak gets so cranky here, too, he went from soft “Smiley?” Isak to RARRRRR grumpy teenage boy in like two seconds. All thanks to Even’s presence, of course!

Bless Jonas yet again for just immediately starting to pack up, no questions asked.

This is a Romeo + Juliet song when the boys start leaving ( “Local God” by Everclear”). I believe it was used in the film when Romeo and his crew are hanging out, so it’s a bro song. We don’t hear any of the lyrics in the clip but they sure are interesting:

I feel just like a local god when I'm with the boys. We do what we want, yes, we do what we want. I feel just like a local god when I'm with the boys.  We do what we want, yes, we do what we want. We do what we want. Yeah, we do what we want. Be my Romeo,  Tell me all about your love,  Tell me all about your pain, Baited breath and rubber gloves.  Be my Romeo,  My go-go Romeo,  I see you twist and turn,  You look so fuckin' stupid.

So yes, bro song with direct mentions of Romeo.

All the chaos and casual catastrophe of the boys getting up to leave, I love it. It’s all the typical stuff when you leave a party - where’s my phone, where are my shoes, what’s happening, etc.

Also that Isak herds them out the back door, he really does not want Even to meet them, it’s gonna be too awkward and it’ll be anything but chill if Even knows Isak sent his friends away to get some alone time with Even.

“These aren’t even my shoes!” I LOVE THEM SO MUCH, I truly love these teenage failboats with all my heart.

They are champs for leaving when Isak asked them to, like even with all the confusion this was relatively swift and efficient.

Oh my God, guys. When Isak shuts the door, "Local God” (the song associated with his friends) instantly stops, and he is left there alone, for just a second, and the opening of Lykke Li’s “Tonight” starts … I get butterflies in my stomach. Isak is nervous, I’m nervous, we’re all nervous. What good directing from Julie, switching so quickly from a comedic mood to this vulnerable romantic mood, and how she can do that in just a few seconds with some well-chosen music and a moment to breathe.

Yeah, that moment to breathe, from Isak … where he shuts the door and looks toward the other side where Even is knocking, and takes just a brief pause to collect himself, and you can see how unsure of himself he is … good acting, good directing, just. Good.

AND THEN HE OPENS THE DOOR AND EVEN LOOKS LIKE THAT

I honestly do not feel Isak opened the door with the intention of getting laid, or that Even came over with the intention of getting laid. Especially Even, actually. I think Even really just panicked at the thought of losing Isak and ran over. It’s possible that maybe Even was even going to explain a bit - I don’t know if he was going to go over everything, necessarily, but I think Even wanted to make some things clear - that he wasn’t with Sonja, or that he wanted to be with Isak. I don’t know how he would have brought up his bipolar disorder though I guess it’s possible he could have pushed himself to do so. And maybe in that little pause moment, before Isak opened the door, he thought to himself about the possibilities of what could happen when they were alone, but it was wrapped up in every other uncertainty or fear, such as Even dumping him or saying he wanted to end it, or that he couldn’t leave Sonja. But it all changed when Isak opened the door and they looked at each other; they had missed each other so much and wanted each other so much that talk wasn’t happening.

Even looks really rattled and vulnerable when Isak first opens the door, I’m sure he’s thinking over how he’s going to explain himself, maybe psyching himself up to disclose his mental illness, as mentioned. But he softens a little when he registers Isak, because despite everything, it’s Isak.

Isak is trying to keep it together and play it cool at first and then Even Hallas at him a few octaves lower than normal so that’s not happening. Lawd, Henrik.

Even starts to look a little hesitant and nervous again as they pause too long at the door, like, oh right, I ran over here without a clear invitation. Is this okay? Am I welcome? Should I go?

But obviously Isak is just like, fuck it, and goes in for the kiss. CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. Isak initiated the kiss, Isak has been proactive throughout the evening, Isak is more assured in his sexuality that he can do this.

You know what else has experienced character development? Isak’s tongue. 

The first time I watched that part I think my eyebrows legit jumped off my face. No offense but gay storylines on TV frequently feature dry, tight-lipped, no-homo kissing so it’s nice when actors actually kiss like they mean it. Isak and Even really want each other, it’s believable.

But seriously, this is actual progress for Isak and demonstrates that he’s more grounded and confident in his sexuality.

That moment when they break off the kiss for just a second - I’m pretty sure it’s Even who breaks it off to look at Isak, as if to ask whether he’s sure he wants this. And Isak wastes barely any time before diving back in, by way of an answer. Not gonna lie, that moment when characters stop kissing to look at each other, searching for an answer in the other’s face, is one of those romance tropes that I enjoy, so this was a good scene for me.

Even lost his denim jacket somewhere between the front hallway and Isak’s bedroom, by the way. I’m just imagining Eskild or Noora stepping over it when they got home and being like, yep, Isak had a busy night. (Linn would probably step on the jacket and not notice.)

Even shoves Isak against a wall because he is living that fanfic life.

Kudos once again to Tarjei and Henrik because they really keep kissing and stay in their character’s passionate mindset. There’s a moment where they sort of break off to start undressing and Even swoops in for another brief kiss - it feels like these two seriously can’t stop kissing, they want to be kissing, and it’s a small moment but it makes it feel like they genuinely desire each other.

Lol, Even was going to take off his hoodie first but then decided to divest Isak of his shirt, what a gentleman.

I don’t know why I love that snapback coming off but I do. It’s just funny to me in a way? Like the snapback would get knocked off anyway when Isak took off his shirt but he’s instead he has to make a Moment of it. You know shit’s getting real when the hat comes off.

This bit that goes from against the wall to in the middle of the room shirtless (they moved around!) is just so tender??? Like that bit where Even taps Isak’s lip with his thumb and gets in a quick nose rub. What the fuck. 

I mentioned this in my episode 5 review but this scene is what made up the footage in the mysterious hiatus trailer that had everyone in a tizzy for 10 days, except not all of the footage in that trailer made it into this clip, so there’s extra Evak sex scene footage out there. I am sure this would be of interest to no one, obviously.

Not to be weird but I legit think it is nice that Tarjei is doing this scene with this large zit on his forehead because that’s OK! People don’t have perfect skin when they have sex. 

I feel like Isak is having a spiritual experience when Even goes down his body, like he’s not even entirely there. Is this happening to me??? 

Also, totally a callback to the very first scene of the season, when Emma tries to blow Isak in the bathroom and he’s not having it. He does not express such reluctance when Even goes down on him. A+ narrative parallels, Julie, A+.

But this was a really good first time scene (if you believe, as I do, that this was their first time together) and a lovely sex scene that wasn’t either too exploitative or too coy. The Evak sex scenes are handled very well in this season. 

And Lykke Li’s “Tonight” was a gooooood choice. How simple and painful is the desire behind those lyrics. You can just imagine how Isak and Even have been missing each other and pining, and how this song expresses the feeling that they don’t want to let each other go. And all this emotion goes unspoken, tonight they’re not going to talk about their heartbreak, tonight they’re just going to show each other all that pent-up longing.

But also, the end song over the credits, “Crave” by Pharrell Williams??? Spectacular. We watch this emotional scene set to this incredibly sweet song full of longing and vulnerability and then the credit song is just like … sex. Sex is a thing that is happening. It is the equivalent of an eyebrows waggle and a suggestive wink. Bet you can guess what they were doing after the credits rolled!

I love this show so much, oh my God.

Social Media/General Comments:

The text that Isak sends in reply to Even’s cheese toastie drawing seems so polite, like Isak rewrote it a million times trying to decide on the right tone and phrasing and everything and finally went for something very neutral, trying to reestablish the conversation between the two of them without seeming too eager.

Eskild sends Isak a long-ish text after their talk on Sunday, where he basically strives to give Isak more encouragement. You can tell he really thought over what he said to Isak because he truly wants to be helpful to him and be a good guru. He realizes Isak is young and probably in his first relationship with a guy, and Eskild can’t help but feel protective and not want Isak to get his heart broken. It’s honestly such a sweet message, because Eskild is first and foremost looking out for Isak’s well-being. Like … there’s a thing in media (and fanfic, sometimes) where a character’s friends are more concerned with making sure their romance works out, rather than whether this romance is right and good for the friend. Isak’s friends in this season are supportive of Evak, but they’re Team Isak first, and they’re not afraid to tell Isak when they think Even is doing Isak dirty or when it might not work out. See also: Jonas in this week’s Fredag clip.

Anyway, Eskild tells Isak how happy he is that Isak came to him for advice, and that’s beautiful. It’s supportive of Isak relying on his friends rather than bottling up his feelings. And he says that he thinks Isak is brave- incredible, show-stopping, spectacular, etc. I mean telling Isak he is brave? What a wonderful thing to say to a kid who’s still in the early stages of coming out and is dealing with a ton of insecurities. Eskild is the fucking best, guys.

But he’s also offering to hook up Isak with someone and help him move on to another guy if that’s what Isak wants, lol. Getting in his jab about tights and mascara but in a good-natured way.

You know who else is the fucking best? Jonas. Isak texts him about the rumors with Even spreading and Jonas is so supportive and sweet, offering to talk to the guys for Isak and telling him not to stress over it. With a heart emoji, no less ❤️

Isak also decides that he should be the one to tell the guys. My brave boy!

Jonas also posts an IG on the same day of the text with him and Isak as Simon & Garfunkel, with the hashtag #bros. Basically a show of support for Isak. Like. CAN YOU BELIEVE. My heart gets so warm thinking about these kids. Skam is a space heater for my soul.

Text between Kollektivet where Linn does not want to leave on Friday and Eskild is dragging Linn out of her cave. I mean, sometimes you want to chill, but this is probably good for Linn. Get her out of the house.

Text between the boy squad after Isak comes out to all of them. They’re able to rib him about his “family dinner” so things are back to normal.

I want to mention that Isak uses a Broad City gif. I don’t know if Isak actually watches Broad City, but the idea is pretty funny.

I know Magnus can be dense as hell but he uses a gif of Sam Rockwell in Galaxy Quest in response to Isak’s drag and like, Galaxy Quest is the greatest film of all time so clearly Magnus is a man of superior taste and intellect.

PS he says something that translates to “never giving up hope” and I’m going to take that he meant “never give up, never surrender.”

Mahdi says Friday is going to be nice because “bros united.” Awwww! That’s especially nice coming from him since he and Isak had the friction; I feel like this is his way of saying he’s really over what happened between them and he just wanted them all to be OK.

I remember when this episode was airing in real time, people had a lot of theories about what would happen on Friday. Jonas mentions an Elvebakken party and Magnus mentions a gay bar. I remember people thinking they might go to the Elvebakken and see Even, or hear about Even’s past from Bakka people, or that they’d go to the gay bar and Isak would hook up with someone or run into Even or something. Instead Isak never made it out of his apartment, lmao.

Also, Magnus being like, “I’m up for a gay bar” is not hurting my bi Magnus headcanon at all. I know, I know, he’s that bumbling straight friend. Still!

Isak texts Eskild about his second drawing and Eskild is like, “Play hard to get.” Which obviously did not work on Friday. He also calls Isak his little godkitten which is. Adorable.

As I mentioned above, Magnus posted a pic of the boy squad at the pre-drink and that’s why I think Even might have seen it and moseyed over in that direction and was already lurking in the vicinity, as to account for him showing up so fast.

[simplylove101]

Influential TV Shows

Okay this is kinda random and why I prob won’t tag the shows I list cuz this is more just something I wanted to get out of my head after watching J&J’s latest podcast where they were talking about this topic. They kept it to 7 shows each and while that would certainly be interesting to try, that’s kinda hard. lol I went about grouping some of them - shows that shaped me growing up, shows that impacted me/stuck with me, comfort shows/watch with the family, taught me about fandoms, etc. And saying something about each of them. Anyway, this is stupid but here we go lol:

The Shows Growing Up:

Sailor Moon: Okay, nobody make fun of me. lol This is the first show I remember really watching as a kid that wasn't Barney or whatever, something I decided to watch by myself and it actually had an ongoing story. And ofc it took time for me to realize that this was just an English dubbed version that they would play on Cartoon Network. Looking back on it, it’s a little cringey (the voice readings, Serena being a bit of a crybaby) but seeing girls, even if it was animated, kicking ass over evil as a group made an impression on me so it’s no wonder I would watch it religiously after school and was sad when they stopped airing it. And ofc I watched all the movies too. I was a shameless fan. lmao I also eventually read the manga and appreciated it.

Hey Arnold: As a kid, I would watch Cartoon Network & Nickelodeon (& eventually Disney when I got a little bit older), and I think one of the Nickelodeon shows that really stuck with me as a kid, like Rugrats, was this one. It had a wide range of really distinct characters. It was genuinely funny. And I did love the dynamic between Arnold & Helga (who was interesting & sometimes they would let her be the protagonist of an ep instead of him, like the therapist one which is a def fave) even if her crush was kinda as stalkerish as you can get why maintaining innocence. lol And you know what? I did totally watch the recent movie they did where it tied up loose ends like getting these two together and allowing her to grow as a character. Gotta say it was rewarding after all this time. lol  

All That: I feel like I gotta put this here because I watched this show all the time as a kid. And I think it’s something that really taught me about comedy. I had seen things from Saturday Night Live growing up cuz of my parents but this was my Nickelodeon version with people that weren’t much older than me at the time so I could really get what was going on/enjoy it. It’s also the first place where we saw people like Amanda Bynes & Kenan Thompson & Kel Mitchell (which is partly why I later watched things like The Amanda Show and Kenan & Kel) What can I say? As a young person, it was just really cool seeing kids being funny. Yeah, there was some cheese but I didn’t care. It stayed with me.

Boy Meets World/Sister, Sister/Lizzie McGuire/Even Stevens: I kinda cheated here and bundled these shows because these are four of the shows I watched on Disney growing up (Disney showed reruns of Boy Meets World & Sister, Sister for the record) There were others like That’s So Raven, Suite Life, Wizards of Waverly sort of, Proud Family to name a few but these shows I picked have such iconic episodes that I still remember well and love. Like Even Stevens - musical episode hands down Idc. Boy Meets World - Scream-inspired Halloween ep for sure. Yes, there was cheesiness with all these shows. Sometimes very after-school special, but they shaped me I think. Also gotta mention, I remember thinking of Hilary Duff as my idol. lol

The Ones I Watched With the Fam:

That 70′s Show: Now the thing with my family is that we were one where for a time we would watch tv while eating dinner and my dad would have control of what channel we watched. It was always this way, which meant it would either be Law & Order or Seinfeld (the second one I was cool with and I almost included it on here cuz it’s such a staple comedy but eh,,, I appreciated it more later on. It felt more forced on me at the time) This is probably one of the only shows I can say my whole family truly agreed on watching all together tho, including my sister who generally watches trashy reality shows. This show will always remain one of my faves, because it was hilarious. It got a little weaker towards the end (We do NOT speak about Season 8) but I loved how it was a true ensemble sitcom where everyone brought something to the table and enjoyed the different dynamics between the group. The funny running gags, Jackie & Hyde still remain one of my all-time otps, and Kelso is probably the funniest & lovable dumb character I can think of (If nothing else, Ashton Kutcher was meant to play this part ok) It was nice to have something my whole family could enjoy together. It was a rarity so this show has a special place in my heart for that alone.

Joan of Arcadia: Another show that has a place in my heart, despite it only lasting 2 seasons and it ending on a bad note (major cliffhanger, still never fully making things right w/ Adam after destroying his character, ultimately S2 was problematic but still) because this is a show that I watched religiously (pun not actually intended here lol) with my mom every Friday it was on. What I loved about it was that the concept is centered around Joan talking to God yet it generally wasn’t being preachy. Joan wasn’t always willing to do what God wanted her to do, and things didn’t always turn out how she wanted. It was a kinda perfect blend for me and my mom to watch together. After this we were more willing to watch stuff as a pair cuz we were close but this started all that. I remember always being curious how God would appear to Joan cuz it was always changing, but there were some fave recurring ones like Cute Guy God, Goth God & Old Lady God to name a few. heh Joan was played wonderfully by the awesome Amber Tamblyn who could always make me cry (naturally she played my fave Tibby in the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants movies too lol) and she had awesome friends in Adam & Grace (who were my faves) and family. I rewatched this show and you know, I’d say S1 holds up and even the first half of S2. Heck, the episode where Joan & Adam break up towards the end of it, while totally heartbreaking and PISSES me off cuz bad writing for Adam, was solid simply for the acting so there’s that. lol

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Putting this show under this category because this was a show that I mostly got into because my sister loved it growing up. I was really young when it came out so I mostly remembered bits & pieces when I later watched it when I got a little older. It stuck with me tho cuz ofc the awesome Sarah Michelle Gellar playing badass Buffy (she was my sister’s idol) and it was a genuinely funny and smart show. It also got dark too. It wasn’t always solid towards the end, but I think it mostly nailed the actual ending (why Anya had to die tho... Spike I got but ugh) Anyway, this was kinda a big deal cuz it was the only thing my sister and I really watched together that wasn’t bad reality television or me barely paying attention to Dawson’s Creek at the time lol This showed that my sister could have taste when she wanted to (lmao sorry)

The Carol Burnett Show: I had to mention this show because this is one that got me, really my family, through dealing with my mom’s dementia. We chose to care for her at home instead of putting her in a nursing home. We did this for 2 years until her death. And the one thing we (excluding my sister cuz her & old stuff don’t mix) could always count on cheering us up was this show. My dad told me that my mom loved this show growing up and that’s why we turned on for her. So luckily memory or no memory, she still had a sense of humor and she knew when to laugh. And with good reason. This show is hilarious. So iconic. Carol Burnett was/is rightfully loved dearly for this show. I wish I had more I could say, but this was truly a comfort show when I desperately needed it so I am forever grateful that it existed.

Honorable Mention: Young & Hungry - another show that got us through that dark period, my dad actually really enjoyed this, despite seeming skeptical, and eventually started calling it the “Josh & Gaby Show” lmao Only thing is we never finished it together so oops. Not so much influential maybe but worth mentioning it felt like since it was underrated, got me thru a tough time, was hilarious and I loved that cast a lot. Emily Osment deserved to be the lead of her own show. Comedy queen.

The Ones That Brought Out the Fangirl In Me AKA The Teen Years:

The O.C/One Tree Hill/Gossip Girl/The Vampire Diaries: Another category where I’m just grouping them up together cuz ultimately it wasn’t about high art with these shows. They were the staple teen shows that everyone was watching and well, I was one of those people. lol It all started with The O.C. It was one of those ‘at the right time’ kinda things cuz I just went into the 6th grade when S1 started and it was such a big hit that everyone was always talking about it and there were even shirts involved (I never went that far lol) but this is where my need to explore YouTube came and then I was making fanvids. Gossip Girl is the one where I actually inserted myself into a fandom for the first time. My goodness the cringe that came with it but it gave me two of the longest online friendships I’ve ever had so I don’t regret it. (Shoutout to @backtothestart02 here as one of them) And well, three of these shows taught me the toxicity that can come from fandom. So I’ve been less vocal/more aware with other shows because of it. There’s problematic stuff in all of these but they were entertaining most of the time despite frustration (lol) 

Honorable Mention: Teen Wolf - Had to mention this one cuz this was a show where I had a group of friends who all watched this together and we talked about it til the end (even when we weren’t happy with it lol) I was never really vocal in the fandom cuz by this point I was wary of them (fandoms I mean), but it was nice to share a show with people who felt similarly about it. As a show, I truly loved it up to 3B. Some of my favorite episodes were the ones that almost felt standalone-ish (3x06 AKA Motel California still remains my fave to this day) Lastly, it’s because of this show I was introduced to Dylan O’Brien who I always refer to as my ‘always & forever’ guy so yeah lol

Maybe Superhero Shows Are Worth Watching lol:

The Flash/Daredevil/Cloak & Dagger/Runaways: So I’m someone who growing up, beyond Spider-Man and Batman, never really jumped at superhero movies. I still don’t to an extent but I’m more willing to watch stuff now. I think because when it comes to TV, I’m willing to check out at least an ep. I got into The Flash because my friend Lauren was really into it (and still very much is now) and wanted me to check it out so I did. I sorta watched Arrow before it until a point so I’d seen Barry’s appearances on it and remembered thinking he was precious so I wasn’t surprised that I liked him as a main character. I do think these later seasons have lost some quality but I think the earlier ones were very solid and Grant is perfect in the role. Daredevil... R.I.P. That show was so high quality so the fact that Netflix cancelled it is just rude. Now... Cloak & Dagger has been one of those surprises for me cuz it was such a slow burn that when it really got going it left me wanting more. That S1 finale was so solid. Cannot wait for S2. Love the dynamic between Ty & Tandy. Now Runaways isn’t perfect but it’s my biggest fandom right now and I’m proud of that fact. It’s a show that highlights diversity with 4 PoC leads & 4 kickass ladies (Nico & Gert are my bb girls), healthy ships including an LGBTQ couple currently as the main one (tho it is Gertchase that owns my heart), and overall a pretty great cast that meshes well like the thrown together family they portray. It even got me back into writing fanfic again. A miracle tbh. lol

Overall Just Amazing:

This Is Us: I just think that this show pulled me in the second they revealed that first plot twist in the pilot. It surprised me and then they kept doing that a bit after. Now it’s more about how it has the ability to make me cry every ep and feel things. It doesn’t always touch me the same it did in that first season (it was an emotional year for me tbh) but it does have a class act cast who can always pull at my heart strings.

Boardwalk Empire: This technically could have went under something I sort of watched with my dad, but it is kinda a weird show to share I guess. We didn’t usually watch it together (saved some awkward convos sometimes lol) but always talked about each episode weekly and it was kinda fun cuz it was usually in-depth. My dad still quotes things from it to this day. He also once said that he considers S1 the best TV season he’s ever watched. I agree that it was great. For me, the first 3 seasons are solid while the last 2 felt different but still pretty good. There was such quality to it. Great acting headed by Steve Buscemi. What can I say? I have a thing for gangster stories. I could say more but I’ll stop. lol

Stranger Things: The show that really turned me into a binge-watcher. I had just gotten Netflix and what show did I decide to watch on my birthday? This show. I had seen things in the media about the kids from it and I was like, they’re adorable!! And ofc I got hooked when I actually watched the show. It just has everything in it that I like: mystery, thrills, humor, hint of romance, awesome acting, music moments, nostalgia. This was my obsession for a while until I got into some other things but if you don’t think I’m totally pumped for S3, then you best believe I’m watching it all in a day if I can. lol

Community: This is a show that reminded me how a show can think totally outside of the box and still have a lot of heart with its comedy. I love situations where a group of misfits come together and become a family. I love that this show celebrates being different. Troy Barnes remains one of my favorite TV characters ever (& omg his friendship with Abed is pure goals!!) and Donald Glover played him perfectly. And Alison Brie is just adorable as Annie. Love this group of weirdos. The quality was different after S3 but I still adore it.

Into the Badlands: Have to mention this show because what it has been doing action-wise is just incredible. The fighting sequences are out of this world. I’m always excited to see how they top it. Also, an Asian male lead? Go dude! The whole cast is wonderful and everything is just high quality, ok? Also, that cinematography!! Can’t believe it’s ending when it comes back. Sadness.

One Day at a Time: This is more of a recent discovery for me (had friends who watched it and knew it was good but only decided to check it out not too long ago) but it’s already made its impact on me. This show has so much heart to it. The writers put so much care into their work when they bring up these controversial issues in the episodes. All while being totally hilarious (but also trust me, I manage to cry at least 1 or twice an ep lol) A show centered on a Cuban family, plenty of good rep for LGBTQ/non-binary people while also handling things like depression/anxiety, addiction, immigration, etc. It’s definitely making its mark on TV. Also, Rita Moreno is a living legend who I adore. I love this cast so much.

12 Monkeys: I. loved. this. show! I still think it had the best series finale that I have seen in a while. It wrapped up things so well that I was smiling for a while after watching it. I couldn’t believe that of all shows this one gave me a happy ending. lol Casserole remains one of my all-time ships because they were truly epic and pulled at my heart strings so many times. Jennifer Goines was my queen. But seriously, a show about time travel that managed to make sense? So impressed. And the visuals? gahhh

Friday Night Lights: Last, but most definitely not least, this show is just up there as one of the all-time bests IDC. The fact that at first glance the show seems centered only about football and it got me to keep watching definitely says something. lol This show had so much heart, the cast was excellent, an ending that was pretty much perfect. Coach & Tami Taylor were relationship goals. Honestly one of the best portrayals of a married couple I’ve ever seen because they were very much a team (while yes there was the occasional bickering that you gotta love) and it just felt real, you know? Also, it’s a show that proved that you can come back from a sophomore slump (yeah S2 was the worst season) and continue to be great.I can’t decide if it’s my favorite show of all-time but it’s certainly one of the first ones to come to mind. So glad I decided to give it a chance.

There’s probably a couple other shows I could list here but some I haven’t finished yet and don’t feel ready to put them on here yet. This is just what I could come up with.

[bluering8]

do the fandom ask thing for all the versions of star trek you've seen

So that’s… TOS and TNG then (we could also countnu!Trek/AOS but… let’s not count nu!Trek/AOS).

I’ve also seen Two Whole Episodes of Voyager (the one where B’Elannagot split into her human and klingon halves because that’s how species works inStar Trek I guess, and the one where Doctor McHologram wrote a story andeveryone was real mad about how they were portrayed in his story so they wrotea story where he sexually harassed his patients because that’s how solvinginterpersonal problems works in Star Trek I guess) but I don’t think that’senough to Count.

the first character Iever fell in love with:

TOS: Spock.

TNG: Data!

a character that Iused to love/like, but now do not:

TOS: Uhhh probably Spock also? It’s not that I dislike him now so much as I’ve justkind of lost interest in him as a character. I find vulcans to be pretty boringoverall. I adore serious-businessstoic characters, but usually what I love about them is that they’re just assilly as everyone else, only in different ways. You don’t get that withvulcans, they’re like obsessively solemn and take themselves too seriously atall times.

TNG: Oh, definitely Wesley. I quite liked him for the firstcouple of episodes, and then things degenerated rapidly and now I’m at thebitch-eating-crackers level of he doesn’t even need to do anything wrongbecause I’m willing to take his mere existence as a personal insult.

a ship that I used tolove/like, but now do not:

Uhhh I don’t know man, I haven’t spent enough time aroundTrek fandom to get jaded on any of the ships yet.

my ultimate favouritecharacter™:

TOS: God, I don’t know. I don’t feel mad super passionatelyabout any of the TOS cast. Scotty? Scotty’s fun, I like him okay I guess.

TNG: DATA!! My boy, my son, my cinnamon roll, my perfectwish-fulfilment character because who doesn’twant to be an autistic robot man with super strength and a job he loves and apet cat and a dorky boyfriend??

prettiest character:

TOS: Uhura, absolutely.

TNG: Depending on how you define “prettiest”… Tasha Yar isabsolutely the most attractivecharacter, she could break both my arms and I would thank her for the privilege.Geordi is probably the nicest to look at,there’s something so utterly pleasing about the proportions of his face. He isShaped Like A Friend. (Special mentions go to Data and Picard, who have thebest noses on the ship. Neither of them have particularly fantastic noses, butI have to take what I can get where I can find it. Where are all my big-nosedbeauties, this show is not catering to my aesthetic preferences and I feel personallyattacked by this.)

my most hatedcharacter:

TOS: Again, I just don’t feel mad super passionately aboutany of the TOS cast. Who don’t I even like? This is the sound of me realising I’veforgotten like 90% of TOS.

TNG: It’s cliché to hate Wesley, but… guys, I really hateWesley. Also I kind of dislike Troi a lot. Apparently she gets better later on,and I’m not yet at the stage where I loathe her utterly and there’s nothing shecan do to redeem herself, so maybe hopefully one day I will stop dislikingTroi? That’d be neat.

my OTP:

Data/Geordi. That’s it, that’s the ship.

Uh you know what, also Odo/Quark. I don’t know fuckinganything about DS9 but I follow enough people who care about the goolawman/trashgoblin bartender ship that I accidentally started caring about italso. They’re horrible gross jerks who hate each other and they should getmarried so they can go around being horrible and gross and hating each otherfor the rest of eternity please and thank you.

my NOTP:

I don’t really… care enough about shipping to dislikeanything. Data/Yar maybe? I don’t enjoy this ship based entirely on twocharacters having fucked once under the influence of Weird Space Drugs, whichYar then indicated she very much regretted and would not have done sober.

favourite episode:

TOS: I… can’t really remember any fuckin’ TOS episodes. Orlike, I can remember them, but I can’t remember how I felt about them (and myfeelings would certainly have changed by now given that it’s been years).

TNG: S03E10 (The Defector)!! I loved the oneshot NPC and Ienjoyed the plot a lot and I got very emotionally invested in everything whichhappened. I’ve already talked about this hereand here sowe’ll move quickly on before I accidentally another outpouring of love for RomulanDefector Guy and his character arc.

saddest death:

TOS: Spock! The impact was kind of dulled because I knew he’dbe coming back, but it’s still that moment which really really drives home so fucking hard just how much Spock andKirk mean to each other. There’s something so fucking glorious about a death scene where all a person can do is sit andwatch helplessly.

TNG: Am I allowed to say Jarok? Am I allowed to care about aoneshot NPC so much that I consider his death to be the most tragic thing inthe series so far? It’s not so much that I’m sad he died, just that… you havethis character who’s betrayed the planet he loves, he’s lost his familyforever, he’s given up everything,and he thought he could live with that because he did it all for a Cause andnow he learns that it was all a lie and he really did it all for nothing? Likeouch, yeah, just pull my still-beating heart out of my chest and fucking step on it. And then like, hedies because that’s the simplest way to tie up his plotline and you never haveto think about him again and Okay Then.

Other than that, Data’s death was Very Sad because I love myrobot son. Yar’s death was not really sadbut it was Upsetting because god dammit Yar deserved better!! She was too coolto get randomly offed by Goo Man, this is bullshit.

favourite season:

TOS: I think Iremember S02 being particularly good? Who Knows man.

TNG: I. Argh. Fuckign. I’m going to say S03 because it wasthe one I watched most recently and like, a “season” is a really big shape, Ican’t hold shapes that big in my tiny meat brain. But this one had RomulanDefector Guy and Q being de-Q’d and Data having non-drugged sex and Datagetting kidnapped then attempting to shoot his kidnapper to death thentransparently bullshitting Riker when asked about it, and those were all thingsI enjoyed happening. But then S02 also had a lot of things I really enjoyedhappening?? I don’t fucking know, my guy.

least favouriteseason:

Instead of answering this question I spun my chair incircles singing along to Charmless Manand I suggest you do the same. Seasons are really big and there’re a lot ofthings which happen in them!! I don’t have the memory for that sort of thing.

character thateveryone else in the fandom loves, but i hate:

I… don’t really hang around in the fandom enough to knowwhat the general opinion of the characters is, I just sit here in my own littlecorner and enjoy myself.

my “you’re a piece oftrash, but you’re still a fave” fave:

Q!! Also Lore. My faves are always trash, loving Data asmuch as I do is very unusual for me.

my “beautifulcinnamon roll who deserves better than this” fave:

D A T A!!

my “this ship iswrong, nasty, and it makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it”ship:

I… can’t think of anything. That’s weird, I usually hitbedrock on Problematic™ ships within the first fifteen minutes and spend therest of the show attempting to dig myself Even Deeper. Uh, does Bruce Maddox’screepily transparent crush on Data count? I think that should count.

my “they’re kind ofcute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested” ship:

TOS: Spirk! It’s a good ship, I enjoy it, they shouldtotally get married, but you won’t catch me lying awake at 3am staring at theceiling and gently weeping to myself over how much I want these dumbmotherfuckers to just kiss already.

TNG: Data/Q. I’m not sure whether or not anyone else shipsit, but watching S03E13 (Deja Q) convinced me that it’d be cute. They both havean outsider’s perspective on humanity, Data’s patient and forgiving enough todeal with Q’s feather-ruffling bullshit and would generally be a calminginfluence on him I think, and if you take lifespan disparity into account thisis probably the least depressing ship for either of them.

[jewell-chan]

Top 16 Shuichi Saihara ships

Another Amino copy/paste and this probably be extremely controversial, but let’s give it a go posting it. This is my Top 16 Saihara ships, including crossover ships as an entry. And yes, this is my quick opinion and I know there will be controversial choices but I do explain my points and I am aware which choices are controversial and why. Major spoilers under the cut:

Art source: https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=62325101

Hiyo, and finally, I’ll be actually listening to my poll results. And here, I’ll be going back to discussing two things that set this fandom on fire: Shipping and opinions. Yes, I know, the horror.

If you hadn’t guessed from the title, this will be ranking the ship of Shuichi Saihara, the Super High School Level Detective. It’s 16 because Saihara is pretty much shipped with the entire cast and more.

We’ll have NDRV3 spoilers from here on out since Saihara is a major character in the game so plot and character details will be discussed. Also, I’m unsure but I’ll add the warning anyway: This list may contain the mentions of adult themes and a bit of foul language. Since the title is so straightforward, I don’t really need to explain much with this OP so let’s begin.

16.Saiharu

Let’s start with one of my least favorite ships in the series. Also known as Harusai and Saikawa, Saiharu is a really poor ship in my opinion. Pandora hearts spoilers but, for those who read it, do you remember when Sharon and Reim randomly got married at the end for no reason other than both of them being Break’s friends? That’s how this ship feels to me. Except worse.

First off, Saihara and Maki’s personalities are way too serious so despite the many interactions they have, specifically in Chapter 3, they never find any particular dynamic making their chemistry seem weak as well and almost non-existent. The only, and I do mean the only, good exchange between the two is in Chapter 3 when Maki gets mad at Saihara for the implication she’s overweight and claiming the only woman Saihara has ever touched was his mother.

So that alone makes me feel neutral, leaning towards dislike, on the ship. Their chemistry being bland as fuck. However, that’s not what seals the deal. What does that for me is in Chapter 5, Maki tells Saihara and the others that she will not go into the hanger and attack Ouma and the group decide to believe her. What does she do? Go into the hanger and attack Ouma. When the group finds out about this, they have no reaction, Saihara included. When Maki thinks she’s the killer, she tries to sacrifice everyone, Saihara included, just to make sure Ouma’s dead. She put her personal bias against Ouma over the lives of Yumeno, Kiibo and Saihara who she knew were innocent.

Normally, I’d think this would be interesting. Relationships with conflict are actually well done. However, they don’t do anything with this. They do show concern for Maki’s attempt to kill everybody but it’s glossed over too quickly to notice. After the trial, Maki talks to Saihara about Kaito and it’s supposed to be a heartfelt scene between the two but at best, it feels plastic. At worst, it feels manipulative. I can’t believe this conversation after she tried to get him and the others killed and it’s not actually brought up past this point.

My final reason is why I hate this ship is because it feels the only appeal it has is because Kaito is dead so why don’t his two best friends hook up? I hated it when Pandora hearts did it in canon(keep in mind that Pandora Hearts is my favorite series of all time) and I hate the idea of it here. Thankfully, Japan agrees with me and dislikes the ship strongly with very few fans so making them canon wouldn’t help sales very much.

15.Saiguuji

Thankfully, Saiharu is the only Saihara ship I dislike. Let’s get to this weird ship. It’s fairly popular on twitter for some odd reason and while it’s fanbase is small outside of that, it’s few fans are incredibly vocal. I am fairly neutral on this ship.

This one is really personal taste, however. I just find it weird. I understand why it’s shipped but the fanbase’s treatment of it makes it sound like a tragic and canon love story gone wrong.

Like, if you want my perception of this ship, try looking at Korekiyo’s love hotel. That is how I see this pairing. So looking at the fanbase compared to things like that, I just… Ehh?

However, the incredibly bizarre fanbase aside, I actually do enjoy the dynamic between these two in Korekiyo’s FTEs. This is where I find the major appeal of the ship and definitely my favorite part of it. Korekiyo talking about anthropology and folklore tales to Saihara who’s patiently listening is actually very nice. I can see where people are coming from when they ship this. Even Korekiyo says he finds Saihara worthy for his sister.

Another thing to bring up why I can’t really grow to like this ship is because of their main story. Not only does Saihara expose Korekiyo as the killer, Korekiyo being rather pissed off about it, but Saihara finds Korekiyo absolutely disgusting in terms of his motive, even to the point of being relieved he dies. What also doesn’t help is he says “I will never understand you…” if you check his door after his demise which is probably one of the harsher comments protagonists give out we’ve had so far. Understandably so. So yeah, it’s not exactly a healthy ship and I personally have no care for it but eh, I see the appeal.

14.Saimugi

Another ship I am neutral on but can see the appeal for. This is really the ideal ship for those who like psychologically abusive villain X protagonist ships. I have seen some fans for it who pretty much enjoy it for the reasons I would assume they would.

Mugi seems like everyone’s friend for most of the game, Saihara included, and the two also have some optional scenes together. There’s also that scene when exploring for lab where she talks to Saihara more about her life outside of cosplaying.

However, in the final chapter of the game, you find out their friendship was a lie and Mugi was just a role for her to play inside of the script. While they weren’t close or anything, you could still feel they were friends. So not only is it heartbreaking for Saihara, but the final trial nails in Saihara’s suffering all caused by her. Having her be Amami’s true murderer, exposing his whole life being a lie, showing his audition tape of who he once was and all gloating about it as Saihara falls to a despairing state. It’s quite hard to watch and definitely impactful.

There’s also her Salmon mode ending(I stopped calling it prison mode since the localization says it this way) where she appoints Saihara into working with her in the cosplay business only for her true self to leak out implying she’s going to do worse things to him than what he expects she will. So with things like that, I can see the appeal of this ship. Although, it isn’t to my taste exactly.

13.Sairumi

Not a very popular ship but I can see the appeal. Although, outside of the goth aesthetic which I like, I am pretty much neutral on this ship. I do admit that Kirumi’s love hotel is my favorite and I actually do like her interactions with Saihara throughout the game. They’re both surface level with each other and get along swimmingly.

However, what lowers this ship for me is Kirumi’s pure salty and petty hatred for him in the second trial. I mean, he does have a nice line towards him after the trial to imply she doesn’t hate him but she was so furious he got her found out as the killer that she’s the only culprit who voted for Saihara out of pure spite.

12.Saihamatsu

Ah yes, the most popular ship in the fandom is only number 12. I’ve made a post going into detail on how I feel about this ship but I guess I’ll briefly repeat myself here. I have neutral feelings towards this ship. There are things I like about it, things that irk me about it and things that make me not care for it.

I do admit that it’s very cute and tragic. While I have my issues with Chapter 1, I actually really like how Kaede’s trial is done and thought her slow manipulation to exposing Saihara was amazing.

I also like certain moments between them in Chapter 1 like when Kaede asks Saihara if he’s looking up her skirt and he apologises, but unlike other anime girls where she’d get all pissy at him, Kaede took it rather maturely and didn’t mind. Another moment is in the investigation where Kaede finds a porno magazine, Saihara wonders why it shocked her so much and she fails to persuade him not to look with her which results in the two incredibly embarrassed. “It’s just Moobies- I mean movies!” got a laugh out of me.

However, my issues with this ship is the same issue I have with the anime Clannad. It’s pretty much “Look at this thing, isn’t it adorable? Oh fuck, now it’s dead. Feel sad” and then you have to angst over how the OTP was destroyed for the rest of the game because the game told you to. They don’t exactly expand on their relationship outside of them being cute and that’s fine, I like simple ships like Momoharu, but this one feels so plastic and forced in a lot of areas. Like when they’re investigating Amami’s corpse, she claims her heart skipped a beat when Saihara touched his corpse. I know it’s because she thinks she’s the killer but blind players are just gonna turn their head questioning why Kaede finds Saihara looking at a dead body hot.

And then there’s Chapter 6 where their relationship takes over and overshadows Mugi’s character a lot which genuinely pisses me off since we don’t get to see much of her true self. Instead of Saihara holding a grudge against Mugi for making everyone suffer throughout the killing game, they have him hold a grudge JUST because she was Amami’s true killer making Kaede falsely executed. Yes, that’s an asshole move but I think writing a script for a killing game and manipulating everyone to death is far worse. It’s like if one guy murdered a man and the other set fire to a school and killed every student inside, and you get mad at the guy who murdered a man.

11.Crossover ships

I don’t usually care for crossover ships outside of talent plan interactions like Mikan X Tenko(I really love this crossover ship due to their talent plan interaction) but I think Saihara has some nice ships in this category.

Ones I enjoy include the obvious Saihara X Kirigiri and the strangely amusing Saihara X Komaeda. Unfortunately, I don’t care much for Saihara’s crackships myself so this is a quick one. Honorable mention goes to Sakura X Saihara because they’re canon(Voice actor joke.)

10.Sairuma

Now this is a strangely popular pairing. I didn’t understand it very much at first since Saihara shows a lot of distaste towards Iruma and her love hotel… Sure was something. However, once I did her FTEs, I could see why this was liked. I wouldn’t exactly consider myself a fan but it sounds nice. Her FTEs actually imply that Iruma may have developed feelings for Saihara in which he accepted said feelings, although not agreed.

Said implication carries onto the third trial in a back route, funny enough. I wasn’t expecting Saihara to be able to tolerate Iruma the way he manages in his FTEs almost to a level where she can pretty much be considered another member to the group of V3 characters fighting for the Saiharabowl alongside Kaito, Kaede, Angie, Ouma, Kiibo and Yumeno. And yes, Iruma is the only one where they actually explain why she gives you her underwear after her FTEs unlike everyone else. What a treat.

9.Amasai

I do like this ship aesthetically and it has some really well done fanart. I’m going to have to replay Amami’s FTEs in order to talk about this more but I’m saving that for my FTEs review post which should come eventually since I finally managed to get my vita copy of the NISA version of the game. That aside, I can safely say that we’re getting into the ships I officially like starting with Amasai. Not saying this is OTP or even BROTP tier but I do genuinely like this ship. The issue is I can’t exactly put my finger on why.

I could say it’s because their personalities work so well with each other, but that’d be too simple of an explanation. I’d say it’s because of Amami’s FTEs and his Salmon mode ending. For those who are unaware, Amami is the Super High School Level Adventurer and upon learning his talent in his FTEs, he tells Saihara about his adventures of travelling across the world. He also explains to Saihara his situation involving his sisters and how he views himself as a terrible brother to let them go missing.

In his salmon mode ending, Amami offers Saihara to travel the world with him and look for his missing sisters together in which Saihara accepts. It’s one of my favorite Salmon mode endings and I found this a very sweet exchange between the two. My only issue with this ship is Amami’s kind of a dick to Saihara in his FTEs whether it’s outright or subtle. I don’t know if that’s just me but he seems a lot nicer with Kaede and a lot douchier with Saihara. Maybe it’s because he’s discussing his missing sisters which is a tough topic to bring up.

8.Saigoku

This is somewhat of a rarepair but it does have it’s more obvious fans and I can see the appeal of this one. Consider it a BROTP of mine actually. Gonta kind of acts like a respectful little brother to Saihara despite obviously being the taller one of the two. Their interactions are very pleasant and Gonta’s FTEs do show this.

What seals the deal for me though is Chapter 4. Unlike the other culprits, Saihara is incredibly firm and gentle with Gonta. Not even Kaede was given that type of exposure. Saihara is aware that Gonta doesn’t even remember murdering Iruma and is taking it easy on him because of that and being as calm and reassuring as he can to him. It’s a way that helps Gonta understand what’s going on, even if he is in tears while establishing so.

I can easily see why Chapter 4 brings tears to so many people and this touch is one of the many reasons. Saihara doesn’t want to believe Gonta is the killer even to the point of suggesting a personality switched, but he can only focus on his goal as a detective to accept that every bit of evidence points to him and the pieces connect the scenario too well. Even after Chapter 4, they try to hammer in Saihara sacrificed Gonta and he definitely feels that way.

7.Saihoshi

This is another BROTP of mine. Throughout Chapter 2, Saihara seemed like the only one who wanted to actively help Ryoma. A strategy I noticed Saihara uses on Angie, Ouma and Ryoma is that he wants to reach out and changed people thinking that’s the right way to go about it. Ouma points out why that’s wrong but I’ll get to that eventually. Here, it actually is the right decision.

Ryoma and Saihara are both able to read the surroundings which results in the two of them able to see eye to eye with each other’s ideals and the two of them refusing to go along with each other’s ideals. Saihara wants to help Ryoma while Ryoma thinks it’s useless. Throughout Ryoma’s FTEs, Saihara keeps bugging Ryoma and asking him to talk about himself to Saihara in order to gain his complete friendship which Ryoma catches onto quite easily.

Ryoma’s final FTE and their last main-story encounter made this BROTP for me. I’ll go in more depth on why Ryoma’s FTEs are so great in his Free time event review but it basically shows that Saihara’s attempts to reach out to Ryoma actually do work and Ryoma becomes willing to give a chance. In the main story, before Ryoma and Saihara get separated ending in Ryoma’s unfortunate demise, Ryoma says that he’s willing to find a reason to live in order to fight alongside everybody and Saihara’s conversations with Ryoma throughout the chapter is a huge motivation to get Ryoma to do so.

6.Saimeno

Now unlike Saiharu, this is actually a GOOD survivor type ship. What a surprise.The reason I like this ship is because Yumeno and Saihara are actually fairly similar in some ways and share a lot of chemistry.

The two of them both like to suppress their emotions, although Yumeno to a higher extent, and became more attached to the people around them as the game goes on. The dojo scene with Tenko shows that the two are similar in this regard.

They also have their differences as shown in the later half of the game. Saihara is more serious and reserved while in the second half of the game once Yumeno has opened her emotions, she’s more optimistic and throws jokes around a lot more to keep everyone’s spirits up.

I also really like their interactions in Chapter 4 and Yumeno’s love hotel. They’re extremely cute like Yumeno asking Saihara that if he was lost in thought from her beauty and then getting flustered over complimenting herself. Also, Yumeno’s artbook comment is really adorable “*pet pet* Good boy!”

5.Sainaga

This is a bit of a controversial choice, but I actually really love this ship. The reason for this is Angie’s FTEs and her love hotel. I just love the dynamic of the weird quirky girl dominating over the serious and submissive boy here. Strange, I wouldn’t think I’d enjoy a dynamic like that but apparently I do.

Angie’s final FTE has Angie admit that she’s in love with Saihara due to his aggression, and while said aggression was not Saihara’s intention, it sure got Angie to take a liking to him. And I can’t explain why but I loved their interaction. Angie’s quirky and ambiguously bizarre attitude played off of Saihara’s straight man side perfectly. It’s also a part of the FTEs that give some characterisation to Saihara as well as the one he’s hanging out with.

4.Saiten

Ah yes, I can hear people screeching in the distance. I clarified before that Tenko isn’t confirmed a lesbian, just incredibly likely is. In fact, I headcanon her as a lesbian. However, that doesn’t mean it’s a crime against humanity to ship her with a guy. If you guys can ship Komahina despite Hajime likely being straight, I can ship Tenko with Saihara and Kaito. With that out of the way, yes, I ship Saihara with Tenko.

Of course, this ship is incredibly unlikely or got a long way to go. I guess you could say Saiten has still got a ways to go. So why do I like Saiten? Well, as many people have picked up, Saihara seems to be the boy Tenko tolerates the most. She was a bit rude when her dojo showed up(not when they entered) and didn’t let him participate in the celebrity experience, but those aside, she seems to like Saihara. Or at least, she likes Saihara and doesn’t realize such considering her degenerate males thing is only delusion.

These two generally have some nice interactions throughout both Tenko’s FTEs and the main story. The dojo scene and her first FTE in particular shows that she does care about Saihara and respects him to some level despite constantly berating him for being a boy. The part of her FTE where she flips Saihara so hard he passes out, but she feels guilty and brings him to his bed soon after is one of my favorite moments in the FTEs of any of the V3 characters, really.

3.Oumasai

I have a full ship thoughts post on this and while it’s a little outdated, it still holds up opinion-wise. I find their main story interactions quite lacking outside of half of Chapter 4 and Chapter 3 but I really love the dynamic between these two in Ouma’s FTEs, Salmon mode ending and other bonus content. And yes, I am aware of how popular this ship is which results in it having a lot of fans and haters. That means that my liking to this ship and not Saihamatsu is probably going to get me some flak.

First off, I absolutely adore the aesthetic between these two. Ouma’s black, white and purple blends very well with Saihara’s white, black and blue but not in a way where they contrast so much. Saihara’s a detective and Ouma’s a supreme leader which can be bended into a cop and a phantom thief too, so their talents go hand-in-hand. Funny enough, Ouma’s love hotel is quite similar to that scenario.

Getting into their interactions and personalities, Ouma has trust issues and uses his coping mechanism to both keep himself alive and to avoid attachment to anyone. The reason for his ideals is currently unknown. However, despite everything, Ouma wants a friend. Someone who can see his true self and gain his trust. Since Saihara was a detective, he was Ouma’s opportunity to do so. Ouma’s FTEs are his attempt to get closer to Saihara and have a friend who can understand him and figure him out.

The game also implies that in the process of this that Ouma developed feelings for Saihara which is where the love for this ship spawned, thank you single-chapter-4-line-that-caused-an-entire-community-to-go-nuts. I also adore Ouma’s salmon mode ending. Not even the Super High School Level Detective can ace everything perfectly. Ouma calls Saihara out on trying to change him to reveal his true self rather than finding his true self through the fake one which is a pretentious attempt and not a strategy if you want to gain someone’s trust. However, Saihara does take up on Ouma’s idea and agrees to see his true self underneath. Unfortunately, the main story didn’t go as well and while Saihara couldn’t understand Ouma by the end, he still viewed him as his friend. Unfortunately, it was too late for that and Ouma was violently killed off.

2.Saimota

This is the true BROTP right here. After Kaede’s death, Kaito felt the need to carry on her wish and role as leader and tried to train Saihara’s confidence up and understand him like Kaede did. As a result, Kaito ended up understanding Saihara more than Kaede did. He’s what kept Saihara in line the whole time after Kaede’s death. As a result, he, along with Ouma and Kiibo, was the one who ultimately brought Saihara to confront his fear of exposing the truth and prepared him for the consequences in doing so.

Their main story summary aside, these two are pretty much the definition of a bromance. They’re a Kamina/Simon duo(I don’t like calling Kaito a Kamina clone because he isn’t, but Saimota does have a Simon/Kamina feel to it) in which there’s an unconfident but intelligent member and an arrogant but dumb member. What I find interesting however is the way they handle the Simon and Kamina type of relationship in which they have Kaito grow jealous of Saihara for being able to talk with both his mind and his heart while he can only do the latter and focus on his beliefs.

However, after Chapter 4, Kaito gains a lot of character development in which he learns to put his bias aside, use his head a little more and apologise to Saihara for venting out his jealousy onto him. It’s good that V3 gave character development to all of it’s main characters unlike the other games(DR1 had Kirigiri develop, SDR2 had Hajime develop, but DR1 still left Naegi and Togami(until the series went on and he became more of a friend to the group) for development and Chiaki and Komaeda focused more on being endearing characters than having development which isn’t a bad thing) and both Kaito and Saihara are no exception.

Also, can I just point out how Saihara acts like he has a crush on Kaito in his FTEs, like can we just talk about that beauty?

1.Saiibo

I had already made a post on this, but yes, I fucking love Saiibo. I love it a lot. It’s so cute and pure and sweet and comfy and perfect and- I really like Saiibo.

Okay yes, I admit that my favorite thing about this ship is just how cute it is. It is absolutely freaking adorable and even when I try to have a serious discussion on it, I always let my inner fangirl slide which I am proving as I type. Kiibo tries his hardest to be seen as a human and Saihara tries to help out every now and again only to end up comforting him on his failed efforts which is shown in Chapter 5.

I love how this ship is mostly background noise in the main story so it’s easy to appreciate and there’s no strong interactions nor conflict between the two so it also makes it a nice friendship in the background. In Kiibo’s FTEs, Saihara tries to help Kiibo get a career of some sort to help him feel more human and learns more about his history in the process. I’ll go in further depth in my FTE review but Kiibo’s FTEs are amazing for more reasons than the Saiibo scenes. My favorite part in Kiibo’s FTEs is his singing which is so bad Saihara is frightened by it.

And let’s not forget Chapter 6. With Kiibo bringing Saihara back to his senses, the audience erasing Kiibo’s AI through the survey poll and Saihara quite literally breaking his chains to save him. It’s definitely my favorite part of Chapter 6 and a really well done climax. And then you have Kiibo sacrifice himself for the survivors. One of the saddest moments in the game for me. There’s also Kiibo’s love hotel which is also really cute. Kiibo tries to learn romance with Saihara which results in the two holding hands.. Which Saihara points out isn’t really holding hands and just shaking hands.

And those were my top 16 Saihara ships. This was a bit of a short list, especially for one that took so long, but I thought it wouldn’t be fair if I gave in depth paragraphs to Saiharu, Saihamatsu and Oumasai while Saiibo, Saiguuji and Sainaga got almost nothing. I hope you enjoyed this quicky at the very least.

[sapphicalexaandra]

jalec as ten and rose = journey's end

(confirmed that you meant doomsday) 

Happy birthday, dear! I still don’t know whether to hate you or love you for this prompt, because tenrose and jalec??? my otps, a perfect match! 

But the feels, man…

Basically, you know who to blame for this angst fest ;) (and i might’ve expanded it a bit, i hope you don’t mind!) 

This Is The Story of How I Died

The breach wasfinally open, and Dalek after Cyberman after Dalek were being sucked right intoit.

Alec, foras long as he had been the Doctor, had known that celebrating victory before duetime could only end up in crushing disappointment…and yet, this time he trulyfelt that they had done it.

As him andJace held on for dear life onto their magnetic clamps, everything was about tobe over so very soon. And they couldgo back to their adventures in all of space and time.

The Doctorand Jace Herondale, together, in the Tardis. As it should be.

…Of course,of course, fate had other plans forthem.

One of thelevers that kept the breach open had shifted from its place; the portal wouldclose before they had gotten rid of all their enemies!

Jace, ohJace, brave, brilliant Jace, he leapt from the safety of his hold, managing tograb the lever and struggling to put it back in place at the same time that theforce of the pull from the breach was so strong.Alec could only watch him with widened eyes, his two hearts pumping with astaccato beat that had nothing graceful about it, as he hoped, prayed to ahigher being that he knew didn’t exist, for his companion to succeed. For thingsto work in his favor, for once!

Jace did it, the lever was back in its place,the breach would remain until it had enclosed every last…

Alec’s armstwitched around his hold, as his eyes almost popped out of his head, becauseJace’s fingers were slipping.

“JACE! HOLDON!!” he shouted, desperately, over the noise of the magnetic force.

Had he everbeen more desperate in his life? He must’ve been, right, but…

Sounds of strainand fatigue were coming out of Jace as he fought against the pull drawing himtowards certain death.

“HOLD ON!”Alec could only repeat.

His andJace’s eyes met amidst the madness, and time seemed to slow down. Jace – thefirst face this face saw, his companion, his lover, his everything…

A shout hadbuilt deep in him even before Alec saw Jace lose his hold, but when it came out, it was like never before, histhroat burning around it, as Jace’s own scream mirrored his own…

“NOOOOO!”

It wasover, he had killed another one, Jace was going to be stuck in the Void forever,and Alec was never going to see him again!

A darkfigure appeared. Stephen Herondale, as alive as he was in the parallel universethey had visited, was right in front of the breach, and he grabbed Jace a splitsecond before he teleported them both away. As soon as they had vanished, Alec’sscream finished its course just as the last Dalek was pulled in, and the breachclosed after it. Forever.

Jace wasalive. He’d live a full life, with a bit of luck.

Alec shouldfeel at least partially happy, as heslumped down on the ground, completely spent. But he felt only…empty.

Entirely,utterly void.

Alec gotup, his movements slow, as if he had no energy to do more, and he approachedthe white wall. It was just a simplewhite wall…but it hid behind it everything that he had lost. Alec pressed ahand, then his face against it, listening in to nothing that he could everhear.

The Doctorand Jace Herondale, together, in the Tardis, was no more.

“TAKE MEBACK! TAKE ME BACK! TAKE ME BACK!”

Jace wasreduced to those three words, as he pounded against a plain white wall and screamedhis lungs out. Tears were running down his face, but he was past the point ofcaring…about anything.

“It’sstopped working. He did it. He closed the breach,” Jace heard his father saybehind him, and that only twisted the knife in his gut.

“No!” hesobbed, leaning his forehead against the wall, as his entire body shook andcrumbled in of itself.

The lastyear had been the best of his life. He had seen wanders, he had done wanders, he had met the most wonderfullycrazy man in the whole universe, who had opened Jace’s eyes to a whole newworld of possibilities!

It couldnot be over…it could not…

Jace couldn’tbreathe, as he pressed his hands against the wall, and then his head. Listeningintently, as if he could actually hearthe other world that was behind it.

But therewas nothing. Nothing at all.

It wasn’tover, though…not yet.

Jace.

He dreamed of a voice, night after night, callinghis name. His father, mother, and Clary couldn’t help but listen to him, becausethey had met the Doctor. They all knew it meantsomething, so they listened to the dream, and followed the voice.

They droveand drove, until they crossed water, then they kept driving, hundreds andhundreds of miles.

Because he was calling.

Here I am, at last, Jace thought.

And therehe was. Alec. His Doctor. Standing in the middle of a beach in Norway.

“Where areyou?” Jace asked him, the sound of his own voice surprising him.

“Inside theTardis.” But it was nothing like hisvoice, as Jace finally heard it again. Because it reached not Jace’s ears, butsomething far deeper than that. “There’s one tiny little gap in the universeleft, just about to close. And it takes a lot of power to send this projection- I’m in orbit around a supernova. I’m burning up a sun, just to say goodbye.” Therewas an unmistakable catch behind Alec’s attempt at levity.

And thatwas, strangely, the most romantic thing Jace had ever heard, or seen done for him. Still, he couldn’thelp his own neediness. “You look like a ghost.”

He couldn’t look one last time at him like that.

“Hold on.”

Alecpointed his sonic screwdriver forward, at the Tardis’s console for sure, andsuddenly he looked solid.

Jacestretched a hand forward before he could stop himself, his fingers twitching painfully.“Can I…t-”

“I’m stilljust an image. No touch,” Alec said back, as reluctant to spell it out as Jacewas to hear it.

At least,Alec was staring at him fixedly, with his big, deep, sad eyes drinking him in,just as Jace was doing to him.

“Can’t youcome through properly?” Jace begged.

“The wholething would fracture. Two universes would collapse.”

“So?” Jace brokeout into a laugh between the tears that, cursedly, were already pooling in hiseyes, and Alec did that, too.

But Jaceknew that they were both serious. What were two universes collapsing…to this? To them?

Alecshrugged himself off; Jace knew that he was forcing himself to act casual, tochange the subject. They, after all, had never done this. They had never laid out in the open what they were to each other, and what each of them thought theother to be, or felt for him.  

“Where arewe? Where did the gap come out?” Alec asked.

“We’re inNorway,” Jace responded, almost toneless.  

“Norway!Right.” Alec’s chirpiness was almost successful. Almost.

“About 50miles out of Bergen,” Jace went on, never taking his eyes off Alec. “It’scalled Darlig Ulv Stranden.”

“Dalek?”Alec shot back, confused.

“Darlig,”Jace clarified. “It’s Norwegian for bad.” A new shaken kind of laugh came outof Jace. “This translates as Bad Wolf Bay.”

Alec’s eyeswidened, before his surprise turned into another laugh, too. And Jace knew thatthe true irony wasn’t lost on eitherof them; this had always been their destiny. Everything had led them to end up on two different sides of theuniverse.

Jace feltthe first tears slide down his cheeks. “How long have we got?” he croaked out.

Alec’s neckbobbed up and down as he swallowed. “About two minutes.”

They keptstaring, just staring, as the clock ticked, and their time together slippedfrom their fingers. Jace brought a hand to rub at his eyes.

“I can’tthink of…what to say,” Jace admitted brokenly.

Alec smiledhis kind smile, and Jace could swear his lower lip was wobbling. He averted hiseyes, though, and looked behind Jace, at the people waiting for him there. “You’vestill got Miss Clary, then.”

Jace noddedlightly. “There’s five of us now - Mum, Dad, Clary…and the baby.”

Jace knewthat that was petty of him, but he still couldn’t help but want to see what Alec’s reaction would be.

It didn’tdisappoint. Alec paused for a long moment, his eyebrows shooting up to his hairline,clearly taken aback. “Is Clary…?”

Jacesnorted, satisfied by the clear jealousy he could hear in Alec’s tone. He justwanted…to be remembered, to be held dear for a while longer after everythingwas said and done, was that too much to ask? “No. It’s Mum. She’s three months gone. More Herondales on the way.”

Alec’s shouldersvisibly sagged in relief, and Jace’s heart rose even more.

“And whatabout you, what are you…?” Alec was still deflecting, and Jace chose to indulgehim a little more.

“Yeah, I’mback working in the shop.”

“Oh, goodfor you,” Alec said.

Jace rolledhis eyes. “Shut up! Nah, I’m not. The Torchwood on this planet’s still open forbusiness. I think I know a thing or two about aliens.”

He smirked,and was pleased to see the same expression mirrored on Alec’s face.

“JaceHerondale. Defender of the Earth,” Alec stated, the pride he could hear in hisvoice warming something inside of Jace…only for one moment, until the nextwords, “You’re dead, officially, back home. So many people died that day, andyou’ve gone missing. You’re on a list of the dead.”

Jacenodded, lowering his eyes to the ground.

“Yet hereyou are.” Jace’s bleary eyes shot back up, and Alec’s face was nothing short ofa shiny vision. How could…how wouldhe let go? “Living a life, day after day. The one adventure I can never have.”

“Am I evergoing to see you again?” Jace finally blurted out, giving up on any pretense ashis chest was now fully shaken with sobs that he couldn’t keep in.

Alec’ssmile was fond, but so deeply sad. “You can’t.”

“What areyou going to do?”

“I’ve gotthe Tardis. Same old life. Last of the Time Lords.”

Thatthought alone was enough to dig a giant whole in Jace’s chest. He thought hecould see the same happening in Alec. “On your own?”

Alec noddedmutely.

That wasit. Their last moments. Fading away one after the other. It was now, or never.

“I-” Jace’svoice didn’t know how to come out of him anymore, and he had to force it. Notbecause he didn’t want to say it…but because he doubted any other words hadever been more important. “I love you.”

And therethey were. Out in the open. Jace kept trying to swallow down his tears, aseverything crumbled down all around him. Alec was the only real thing he would ever feel, and Jace loved him. There wasno other truth.

Jacethought he could almost see tears in Alec’s eyes, too, as his mouth opened upin one last smile.

“Quiteright, too,” Alec said, his voice low and hoarse.

Jace’sheart was thumping wildly in his chest.

“And Isuppose…” Alec continued.

Jace didn’tthink he was breathing.

“If it’s my last chance to say it…”

Jace knew italready, yes, but he didn’t think that he could ever live another day havingnever heard those words coming from that mouth, in that voice that had become as familiar as his own, and directed at him and only him. He needed that confirmation of everythingthat he – they – had been feeling forso long.

“JaceHerondale, -”

Alecvanished.

One blinkof an eye, and he wasn’t there anymore.

Jace staredat empty space.

send me prompts

[auideas]

Ask the Admins 13.0

anon asked: For any of the admins! I’m not sure if this was asked previously, so I apologize in advance. But what's everyone’s favorite au / prompt? (Also thank you guys for starting this blog, im forever grateful this exists)

Chamomile: awww! I’m grateful that this blog exists too (lol). My current favorite type of au’s are murder mystery au’s because of the Rabbit Doubt writing group I’m in so like, expect so many of those coming up soon. I’m also really digging superhero au’s.

M: I’m a fan of the whole “kidnapping / assassin / mob / killer” sort of a trope for some reason - it’s loads of fun to try and mess with original tropes and make them ridiculous, funny, modern, etc.!

Jynn: My fave AUs are ones that incorporate real life twists on typical AUs, like including people with disabilities.

@tomorraw​ asked: How many of you guys are there? Do certain people answer in certain genre? Or does everyone write what they are given? How did you guys meet? (Btw, this is one of my favorite idea blogs. They are so many different views on different ideas and so many genres.)

Chamomile: Currently there’s four of us! I know admin m and admin jynn from a loooong while back -- like two years back. Admin jynn and I go back to our homestuck roots (love her for that) and we’ve stuck together ever since. We all just kind of write whatever floats our boats! M: I met both Jynn and Chamomile through working on the Night Unvaled, which is a Night Vale Fancast that we wrote and produced. We’ve been friends ever since!! As for the certain genre thing, I can’t really say that we all write solely one genre, but we all certainly have our specialties!! Jynn: We have a posting schedule for who posts what when, but when it comes lists we all just take what interests us. Chamomile and I met more than two years back… in a Homestuck role play. Shortly after, we met M in a podcast project we were all working on and we've all be friends since!

Anon asked: what are some of your favorite tropes?

Chamomile: does “I love the way that you understand me and make me feel like I’m the only person in the world when you pay attention to me” count as a troupe? Like an OTP troupe? Bc that’s my ultimate favorite.

M: My favorite trope is messing with tropes. Best thing.

Jynn: “Flaws” turning out to work to someone's advantage!

Anon asked: What is pastel/punk or pastel and punk? I don't get it and google isn't explaining it to me because it's a meany

Chamomile: I remember this AU! It was an AU Friday list that I did and loved doing it! Basically, there’s  ‘pastel’ aesthetic which is very like, cutesy baby pink and pastel blues and other ‘soft’ colors being worn with other ‘soft’ aesthetic items like, glitter or hair clips or oversized sweaters ands stuff like that. Then there’s punk aesthetic, which very like, ‘heck all of you, I want to be comfortable and show that I’m rebelling against the social/political norms’. It can vary from person to person, so it might be better just to google ‘punk fashion’. The whole tag is supposed to be sort of an ‘opposite attract’ type deal.

Anon asked: So in regards to the color au in which you only see color once you touch your soulmate: what if you were born blind? Or when you touch your soulmate, it turns out that you are colorblind?

Chamomile: mmmmmm I’m not a fan of this AU bc of reasons I’m too longwinded about. Skipping this question for me.

M: I guess it’s possible and would make for quite the interesting change in AUs from the usual soulmate trope, but make sure you’re careful when it comes to writing AUs about topics you’re not personally familiar with (such as being blind), but go for it!

Jynn: Idk about it. Lmao I'm picky as heck when it comes to soulmate AUs, and this one has the potential to be interesting but never “stuck out” to me.

Anon asked: hi there! i'm new {ish}, and i've been looking thru ur old posts. i think it's really cool how u help ur followers, school related or not. out of curiosity tho, who is the person who according to that school survey watched so much anime? if u have time, would u mind asking?

Chamomile: Anon I want to know too like, please, show yourself.

M: We support you. Maybe. For the most part.

Jynn: Show ya self ur among friends. I too have consumed too much anime.

Anon asked: Just wanted to say I love your blog. It gives me inspiration! :)

Chamomile: Aaaaa! Thank you <3

M: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jynn: Awwwww!

Anon asked: just poppin in to ask if its okay for us writers to adopt these aus? and claim the whole plot as ours but still credit the bunnies (ie linking it to this acc)? thanks for clarifying!

Chamomile: Totally! We completely encourage it because it brings more people to the blog and also, we get a lot of satisfaction from seeing people enjoy our prompts! Here’s a link on how to cite our au’s: link

Anon asked: omfg, i still think the admins are gorgeous. like f***, you are cute.

Chamomile: Bless your heart, thank you! We really should update what we look like...

M: OKAY YEAH WE SHOULD PUT OUT UPDATE PICS!!!!!! BUT THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!

Jynn: :o ! Thx!

@genosha-meiuqer asked: Weird question. If you woke up one morning and realized you could grow a beard made out of cotton candy, how happy would you be on a scale of 1-10; one being not happy, and ten being extremely happy.

Chamomile: Genosha, I would be so hype, you wouldn’t understand. Like a 10/10. Even if I did get tired of my new cool cotton candy beard like?? I can just wash it off?? Because cotton candy is water soluble?? I see no problems here?? 

M: maybe a 2. Too sticky.

Jynn: 7/10. Might get sticky and tedious (and I work in and pool so it'd probably get in the water) but endless free cotton candy? Yes.

Anon asked: Deadpool 2 boyfriend? yes or no?

Chamomile: consider this….boyfriend….and girlfriend…..dating both at the same time….

M: yus

Jynn: Yes on boyfriend but NOT at the expense of a lady characters story ending badly.

Anon asked: what's your dream job?

Chamomile: whatever makes me happy? Right now I’m happy serving coffee and doing odd writer jobs in exchange for gift cards (#hit me up y’all), but in the future I might want something different so like, it depends as I grow!

M: Creative Producer in Hollywood!!

Jynn: Aaaa I wanna work in entertainment. Running tech, performing, whatever. Gotta be near that world.

Anon asked: Are you a part of any fandoms? Which ones?

Chamomile: oh jeeze well uhhhhh -- I still hold homestuck dear to my heart, but I’ve mostly moved into podcasts (SAYER, The Adventure Zone, WTNV, Carpe DM) and a lot of like, writing niche groups with my friends? If I can count those as ‘small fandoms’.

M: soooooo many: Nightvale, Merlin, Doctor Who, Supernatural, Harry Potter, Game of Thrones, etc. Too many.

Jynn: Still Homestuck like Chamomile. Various Nexflix series: Voltron, Stranger Things. Miraculous Ladybug too. Lots of Max Fun and Night Vale Presents podcasts, McElroy products. I work about 60 hours and week so I like things I can listen to while doing other things.

Anon asked: If you were a dragon, what would you hoard?

Chamomile:....scraps of paper. I have so many. I write down AU ideas and story lines on them and then just like, shove them into my bags and pockets and forget about them.

M: pens. so many pens.

Jynn: Useless cute stuff/LUSH products/stim toys probably.

Anon asked: M, did you draw the illustrations in your piece "The Beacon"?

M: I made it in photoshop, yeah! If anyone is curious, here’s the link to the fic (https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BxP7qW60hE6fUmdSWDJMNHBhRGs/view?usp=sharing). The first draft was written by Admin Chamomile for a speed write but adapted and extended by Admin M just for fun. Go for it and read it if you’d like!!

(Chamomile: just gonna….slide this first draft right here….shhhhhh)

Anon asked: How long would you survive in a zombie apocalypse?

Chamomile: hopefully until humanity can find the cure, lmao

M: maybe a month. maybe.

Jynn: Mmmmm no.

Anon asked: Which Never Book quote is your favorite?

Chamomile: “What were you thinking in that last moment between life and oblivion?” Jynn: “So you take another hit, and sick into a whiskey flavored kiss because he’s not there to tell you no.”

Anon asked: Unicorn or Pegasus?

Chamomile: Unicorn! No real reason why. M: Pegasus. Fly bitches. Jynn: Pegasus is more utilitarian.

Anon asked: this is probably too late for ata, but have you ever wanted to write a piece where the characters are southern but you don't know how to write their drawl or accent or dialect? (currently going thru this for the walking dead)

Chamomile: This sounds like a really interesting “How Do I Write” segment soooooo check back on Thursday ;D 

M: ^^^^^^^^^^

Jynn: Not this specific situation. I live in Missouri so I know well how they talk lmao. I have run into something similar with an Irish character though, lots of research!!

[diamondsareapearlsbestfriend]

Sans/Toriel 30 Day OTP Challenge: Day Fourteen

AO3 | Day One | Day Two | Day Three | Day Four | Day Five | Day Six | Day Seven | Day Eight | Day Nine | Day Ten | Day Eleven | Day Twelve | Day Thirteen

day fourteen: stargazing

prompt: "Your OTP stargazing. Where are they doing this? Are they out camping? Are they sitting on a rooftop? What constellations are they looking at?"

For as long as Toriel had languished in the Ruins, her first few steps outside of the door and into the rest of the Underground were some of the hardest she had ever had to take.

Because the truth was, as much as she yearned for company, after all these years there was also a perverse kind of comfort in her loneliness, a familiarity that would be lost the moment she set foot outside of that door. Toriel was no fool; she knew well what people would say about her, those that even cared to remember she existed in the first place. She was weak, selfish, a coward, she had abandoned her people just as she had betrayed her husband, when they all needed her most. None of it would bother her – for she has endured far worse than a few unflattering names – had she not harboured the suspicion, a sickness twisting in her stomach in the dead of the night, unable to escape into sleep while surrounded by reminders of all she had lost, that perhaps they were right.

Something changed, however, the day she stood in front of Frisk in yet another futile attempt to prevent another child passing through that door. Toriel recognised a gleam in the child's eyes that both excited and terrified her, as she realised simultaneously that she could never hope to stand a chance at stopping them – but also that perhaps they stood a better chance of making it on the other side than any of the others, as they weaved and dodged her wisps of fire magic while maintaining steadfast eye contact as though they knew, somehow, that Toriel could never have brought herself to hurt them. Of course, she still worried about them as soon as that door swung shut, she still replayed the moment over and over again in her mind, wondering if she could have done more, said or done something that would have convinced them to stay with her. And yet, somewhere deep in her soul, she also began to feel the first flickers of hope that perhaps, this time, their efforts would not be in vain. Perhaps that is why, upon realising Frisk had travelled all the way across the Underground to meet Asgore, she did not hesitate to leave – for despite all the trepidation she felt, if she still had a chance of saving one – just one – child from meeting the same fate as the others, she may yet begin to atone for her past failures.

And, in the end, she did – but it had not come without cost. For the same day Toriel saw the human child ascend to the surface, as she hoped but did not dare to believe they would, she saw her former husband crumble to dust before her eyes. Though perhaps she did not have the right, Toriel wept for Asgore, for whatever trace remained of the man she once loved as she saw the Underground turn to terrible disarray, the people grieving for their king and for all that he had promised, their greatest hope for freedom cruelly and unjustly snatched away, once again. That first night, Toriel simply sat there on Asgore's throne, the tears trickling down her cheeks and matting her fur no longer for the Ruins of her past, but for this New Home, as it had once been. She could no longer hide from the reality of their situation – she chose to come back from her self-imposed exile, and now she had a duty. With a final sniffle and a sigh, she rose to her feet, walked over to the throne she had fled from all those years ago and swiftly pulled off the thin sheet that covered it, coughing as the dust that had been gathering for decades filled her eyes and nose.

Toriel did not envision herself ever willingly resuming her rule – but then, hidden away in the Ruins, having warned children so many times that the Underground was a dark, dangerous place that she herself lived in fear of what was on the other side of that door, she never imagined that the Underground would need her again. And, as daunting as it is to meet the unrelenting glare of the public eye again, it also gives her a renewed sense of purpose. To have so many people – her people – looking to her for guidance, she finds herself growing more determined than ever not to let them down, that nobody – monster or human – will have to suffer as they once did. Though her new policies do meet some murmurings of dissent, Toriel is also overwhelmed – and genuinely touched – that there are so many monsters willing to welcome her back with open arms. She realised, in those last few moments before they parted, just how much of a difference Frisk has made, how many souls they have touched just by showing them mercy, by being a friend. Yes, it is eerily reminiscent of the angel in the prophecy, but Toriel can no longer afford to pin her hopes on a fairy tale. She can only try to hold onto what she felt in Frisk – the love and compassion that Toriel wishes to rule by, to preserve and nurture and extend to her people, in place of the fear and hatred that governed them all for so long. 

It is not an easy transition, for any of them, but Toriel feels there is change in the air, her heart warmed by the sight of everyone pulling together. Her new school is a success, and she is as relieved as she is grateful to see Undyne – Asgore's fiercest supporter since she barely reached Toriel's knee, the most dedicated captain of the now-disbanded Royal Guard and, if Toriel is honest with herself, perhaps the monster she was the most apprehensive about meeting again – take to teaching like a...well, like a fish to water, she supposes, pouring all of her passion for bringing humanity to justice now into keeping the children of the Underground fit and healthy. Alphys, the new Royal Scientist, also seems very sweet, if needlessly flustered whenever Toriel stops by the lab to see how her research is coming along, but she promises she is working on a solution that will one day enable them to pass through the barrier peacefully, and that she too will not give up.

And, of course, there is Sans – the voice that once brightened Toriel's long, lonely days in the Ruins, now in the metaphorical flesh and literal bone. Their circumstances are very different now; his services as a sentry are no longer required, so naturally Toriel offers him any number of available administrative positions in her court, or even tending to the gardens alongside his brother, but Sans declines, telling her in that way he has where she cannot always tell whether he is joking or not that he's not sure he is ready for such a responsibility, and that he still has some ambiguously-worded "stuff to take care of".

Regardless, he still stops by the castle as often as he can, and Toriel finds herself looking forward to these visits more than ever, the joy of actually being able to open the door after their customary knock-knock joke and seeing Sans' fixed smile widen as yet undiminished. There is a thrill in leaving all of her daily worries and responsibilities behind, if only for an evening, when the door closes behind them; it is almost as if she is experiencing the Underground anew, no longer bound by fear or duty to one place, and no longer alone as they walk through the quiet tranquility of Waterfall.

"So this is where you used to work?" she asks, as they arrive in a secluded but cosy corner of the cavern, empty but for a small wooden sentry hut and what appears to be a telescope.

"One of the places, yeah – depending how you define 'work'. I think I might even still have..." Sans disappears into his former post for a moment, shuffling around under the counter where Toriel cannot see before he emerges with an orange creation in either hand. "Hot dog? Wait, don't tell me – you're more of a cat lady." Toriel smiles, glancing down at the miniature menagerie – though a little dusty, they are not without their charm. "Sorry it's not much of a royal banquet," he adds, meeting her eyes with a sheepish grin, "but, y'know, these things have been selling like – well, like hot animals lately. I sold twenty-nine just the other day."

"My, that is impressive," Toriel says, trailing a finger along the 'hot cat' as though petting it, "and, I am sure, with good reason. But I think I shall leave it for another time, as much as I do like to sample the, ah...local cuisine."

"Suit yourself." Sans shrugs amiably, before taking a bite of the dog himself. Despite the 'royal banquet' remark, Toriel is relieved that he does not seem intimidated by her royal title, for initially she could not help but worry that it would affect their friendship, that the ease and familiarity with which they addressed each other through the door – when Toriel was "Door Lady", and Sans was most often simply "my friend", although in her head she sometimes enjoyed thinking of him as her "mystery man" – would be lost if she revealed her true identity. But meeting in the flesh-and-bone has been more wonderful than anything she imagined, for there is simply no comparison between a disembodied voice behind a door that may have been inches, but could as well have been worlds away, and Sans, her friend, showing her his favourite places, laughing with her, smiling at her...

Well – perhaps, if Toriel is truly honest, it is not strictly true that nothing has changed. It is becoming harder to deny the unexpected, but not at all unpleasant spark of...something in her soul when they are laughing so hard they have to lean on one another for support, or the frisson of electricity when their hands might brush in passing – or even moments such as these, when the soft glow of Waterfall catches the light in Sans' sockets, dancing between curiosity and amusement as they meet Toriel's eyes, and she feels almost as if she has been caught doing something she should not. But to address that would present another set of complications entirely, and Toriel has no desire to do so tonight, so she simply smiles back before averting her eyes to the telescope.

"And I suppose this would be another of the tools of your trade," she comments, running a paw over the smooth plastic surface, "for spotting any passing humans, yes? May I take a look?"

"Sure – knock yourself out." 

Toriel lowers her head to peer into the eyepiece, but she cannot see much of anything due to a garish red smear across the lens; she draws back, and as she blinks she feels an alarming wetness, as though something is caught on her eyelashes. "Sans, I am not sure your telescope is working..."

"It's not – oh. Uh, actually, Tori, maybe hold off on that just for a sec –" It may be the fastest she has ever seen Sans move, crossing from his post to her side with an urgency that would concern her, if he did not immediately break out into a wide grin like a mischievous child when she looks at him expectantly. “Actually, never mind, you're good. Maybe just a little red-eyed."

"What is it? Did you do something to the telescope?" Toriel demands, trying to stay stern despite his poorly concealed and inconveniently infectious amusement. She rubs her eyes and blinks down at her paws to see an unsightly red stain. "Is that...ketchup?"

"Okay, in my defence," Sans begins, no longer attempting to disguise the laughter rattling his bones as he holds up both hands in an unconvincing show of innocence, "I wasn't exactly expecting the queen to stop by anytime soon. Sorry, Tori – c'mere, let me get that for ya."

Toriel sighs, smiling despite herself as he beckons her over, but relents, bending down as gracefully as she can until they are almost nose to...well, the little hollow where nose would normally be, for she cannot claim to be familiar with the intricacies of skeleton anatomy, but up close it is curiously endearing. Toriel has a peculiar urge to nuzzle it, but manages to restrain herself as Sans gently wipes the debris from around her left eye – and then, to her astonishment, proceeds to lick it straight off his fingers.

“Still fresh.”

"Oh, do not eat it!" Toriel exclaims, pushing him away and scrunching up her nose in disgust, though she is unable to stop a few giggles from escaping as she plants her hands on her hips, shaking her head in exasperation. "Goodness, Sans – whatever am I going to do with you? I am beginning to think someone ought to cook you a proper meal. Do you know..." She pauses, smile turning a little more sly as she detects an opportunity for revenge, “for a moment there, I almost believed you were about to kiss me.”

She winks and the light in Sans' sockets almost disappears completely for a moment, before he lets out a pffffft of incredulous laughter; it may be the blue glow of the cavern across his cheekbones, but Toriel believes he is blushing. "Heh – wow, okay. I, uh, don't remember that being in the job description when I signed up. Come to think of it, did I even sign up?” He smirks, ducking from her gaze to run a finger around the eyepiece as though checking for leftovers; an unspoken but palpable tension lingers in the air until he continues, hastily changing the subject: “Actually, I didn't really get this to watch out for humans. I just, uh...like to look at the stars, sometimes. I mean, I know they're not the real stars, but it's...something."

Sans still sounds a little embarrassed, as though he is divulging something intensely personal; Toriel is unsure as to why, but she smiles and nods, hoping to put him at ease again. “Perfectly understandable. It is beautiful out here."

A silence settles over them as she takes in the view; inevitably, much of the Underground has changed in her absence, so it is somehow reassuring to find Waterfall just as she remembers it, unspoiled by the turmoil of the city, the light of the sparkling stones glancing off the water's edge just like the paintings of the true stars in her old history books. Despite all that she has lost, Toriel still feels fortunate to know that this place is still here for her, and that she is here with Sans.

"At the lab," he says after a moment, "Alphys has this big simulation of all the stars up on her screen. She says it's as scientifically accurate as we can make it for now – it was an ongoing thing, gathering our research, inputting the data. We used to look at it, map out the constellations...I mean, I'm not sure the guys on the surface would've actually named them 'Undyne's abs', but..." He shrugs, and they share a knowing chuckle as he catches Toriel's eyes. "It's still pretty cool to see them all. You should ask her to show you sometime."

"It sounds wonderful. Perhaps I will do just that." Toriel pauses, trying not to sound too interested as she asks: "I did not know you and Alphys were close. Snowdin and Hotland are awfully far apart, are they not?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah – well, we kind of worked together a while back, y'know, before I was a sentry. Nothing too important, just working out some...stuff.” This information immediately piques her curiosity even further – she never would have taken Sans for a scientist, but evidently they still have much to learn about each other, though she cannot help wondering whether he is being vague due to the nature of their research, or perhaps even his past relationship with Alphys.

As queen, it is technically within her rights to demand he tells her everything he knows, if she believes it to be pertinent to national security – but even if that were the case, Toriel has absolutely no desire to exert her authority in such a way. Sans is – and she hopes he always will be – her friend, her equal, her...well, certainly more than simply another of her subjects to be ruled over. Besides, she reminds herself, she should not be such a nosy old woman – Sans is a big bones, in soul if not in stature, and is free to spend time with whoever he pleases.

So she settles for an equally non-committal hmm in response, and waits for him to fill the silence that follows: “Anyway, I guess that's the view from up here – you can see more down by the river.”

They make their way along a short path into the adjoining cavern, bathed in an eerie blue glow from the various flora, and emerge from the silence into a chamber filled with whispers and rustles, fragments of conversations long forgotten rising from the cyan blossoms. Toriel remembers the echo flowers, of course – they are an institution of the Underground for their striking appearance as much as their unique abilities – but somehow, their hushed but persistent murmurings as they walk through the fields are a little more unsettling than she remembers, barely comprehensible snatches of words drifting by her ears before she can catch them almost mocking, almost as if – and Toriel knows this is absurd – they might be talking among themselves about her, watching, whispering, judging. 

"Are you a star?"

"Hmm?" Toriel startles at the curious, childlike voice, stopping in her tracks as her head jerks instinctively to look back over her shoulder – it was so clear, so distinct from the general murmur, for a moment she is sure there must be someone else in the room with them, but of course it is just Sans, who raises a quizzical brow bone.

"I, uh, didn't say anything."

"Of course not. Sorry – it is just the flowers, I know." Toriel manages an apologetic smile, running her claws self-consciously through the fur on the back of her neck. "Do not mind me, I just...I have not passed through here in some time. I suppose I had forgotten just how...lively they can be."

"I guess they are pretty talkative today. Hey, buddy..." Sans ambles over to address one of the flowers on the side, "why so blue?" Toriel cannot help snorting at the dreadful joke as the flower repeats the question in earnest, and he continues, glancing back at her: "You know, I was actually thinking of planting some flowers myself."

"Oh, you were?" Toriel's ears prick up in interest. "How lovely! Which kind? It may be a little difficult to grow them in Snowdin, but if you need any help at all, I would be more than happy to –"

"– but then I realised...I hadn't botany."

"Oh!" Toriel bursts out laughing; Sans starts to snicker as well, which the flower to join in, followed by the one next to it, and the one next to that, until almost the entire field is laughing along, an unorthodox yet oddly striking symphony of braying giggles and deep chuckles playing out over the fields and echoing through the cavern. It is quite surreal, surrounded by the sounds of her own mirth – and, oh dear, does she always snort that loudly? – yet when she looks back at Sans, after they have both stopped laughing but nevertheless exchange wide, foolish grins, curiously comforting, as the flowers begin to feel more like old friends again.  Eventually the fields quieten, the last remnants of laughter dissipating into the air, but the warmth in her soul lingers.

"Well," she remarks, grinning back at Sans, "I be-leaf you have a most appreciative audience here."

"I know, right? Maybe I'll start carrying a few of these around with me – my career could really blossom." They laugh again, too softly for the flowers to catch this time, and Sans adds: "Still not the best audience I've ever had, though. I mean, no one beats you."

Toriel beams, feeling her cheeks flushing unexpectedly at the compliment and hoping it is not too visible in their darkening surroundings. "Why, thank you. I am pleased to hear I am not so easily replaced in your affections by echo flowers."

"No way. Well, unless they somehow develop the ability to make pie – then maybe you got some competition, Tori.”

Toriel chooses not to dignify that with a response, scoffing and shaking her head fondly at him as they approach an area she recognises: the grassy bank right next to the river, always a favoured picnic spot. They have no food now, although it would not surprise her if Sans were to produce yet another variety of hot animal from his pocket – sometimes she is sure he must be carrying half the Underground in there – but he simply sits, bones cracking as he stretches his legs out, and after a moment's hesitation Toriel joins him, gathering her robes to arrange herself as comfortably as possible. The grass is a little damp, but she does not mind.

"Y'see, that's the other thing about these guys," Sans says, nodding towards the flowers flanking them on either side of the river, "they seem so harmless. You say something, they say it back, it's all good fun. I mean, they're flowers – of all the dangerous things down here, you'd never think they could hurt anyone, right? But once they're done kidding around, people forget they're here, and they forget how much they hear. And some things – well, maybe some things weren't meant to be heard, and some things you don't wanna remember. But, here, they don't forget, not until they've passed on whatever they've heard. And they get to hear...a lot." 

There is barely any change in Sans' usual monotone, but he does not meet Toriel's eyes as he speaks, his skull turned up towards the sparkling stones overhead; for a brief instant, a cloud of darkness seems to pass over his face, as though he is seeing – or remembering – something up there that she cannot. Then it is gone, as he glances back at her and cracks a smile, but his sockets do not brighten as they usually do when it is genuine. "Heh – sorry. I guess I kinda spaced out for a moment there."

Toriel smiles at the pun, but she hopes he will continue; she has rarely seen Sans like this, quiet and contemplative, and while a part of her is concerned about what he could have seen, to say such things, she cannot help but find it fascinating, too. "Not at all. You are quite right – I suppose we all have things we would sooner forget, which we would not want passing freely among the flowers."

"Right." The corners of Sans' mouth appear to lift a little  higher as he looks back at her, before speaking again. "So, me and Papyrus used to come here all the time as kids, right? Not a whole lot else to do around Snowdin, but we always had a blast. Then, this one time...we were around here, chilling by the river. Paps was practicing his attacks, and I – well, I guess I fell asleep. But next thing I know, he's shaking me awake, terrified, absolutely crying his sockets out, saying he wants to go home, we have to go home right now."

"Oh, no!" Toriel presses a hand to her mouth at the thought of anything happening to dear, sweet Papyrus. "What was the matter? Did something happen to him?"

"He was crying too hard to tell me, so obviously I had to get us out of there as fast as I could. We get home, I manage to calm him down, and eventually he tells me a flower said something mean to him. Then all the other flowers started saying it, too, and he tried to run away but they were everywhere, they just kept saying it...He thought it was his fault, he'd done something wrong, because they were all being nice to him yesterday."

"Ah, I see. Oh, the poor dear.” Toriel bites her lip, the image tugging at her soul. “Did you tell him –"

"I tried to explain that they weren't actually talking to him, they're just flowers, they just repeated whatever they'd heard – but I don't think he got it, or if he did it didn't seem to make him feel any better. So that night, after Pap's bedtime story, I came back here when no one was around. I went to all the flowers – every last one of 'em I could find – and I told them...'The Great Papyrus is the most sensational skeleton in Snowdin!'. 'No – in the  Underground!'. 'The Great Papyrus always produces the most perplexing puzzles!' 'The Great Papyrus is gonna be the strongest, toughest, coolest Royal Guard ever!' Stuff like that – well, I didn't want them to sound like me," he adds in his normal tone by way of explanation, chuckling a little too as Toriel stifles a giggle at the endearingly unconvincing falsetto. "Anyway, the next day, I got up early – okay, Tori, you don't have to look that surprised – and Papyrus really didn't want to go back to Waterfall, as you can probably imagine, but I promised him it'd be worth it, the flowers had something very important they wanted to tell him, but we had to go soon, before anyone else got there. So we did, and, well..." Sans shrugs, but Toriel already sees the genuine pride and affection shining through in his smile at the memory, "judging by the look on his face when we got there, I'd say he got the message."

"Ahhh, how wonderful. I am so glad that story had a happy ending." Toriel feels her own smile tugging at the corners of her lips, as it inevitably does whenever Sans talks about Papyrus; even from behind the door, she could always hear the smile in his voice, the fierce, unconditional love behind every word, even when he was complaining that he'd moved his sock collection again. Back then, as much as it warmed her soul, she could not help but feel a pang of something like envy listening to those tales, reminding her of the family she no longer had. But now, it fills her with a new kind of hope, now she has seen for herself the love that still exists in the Underground. She wants – no, she has to protect that love, watch it blossom and thrive, in all its forms, for the sake of all of her people as much as for herself. With that thought, she reaches out and gently places her hand on top of Sans' where they rests on the grass between them. "That was a very sweet thing of you to do for your brother."

"Oh...heh, no, it was nothing really." He grins back at her a little sheepishly, shrugging shrugging off the compliment like he does most things; she has noticed that Sans often seems slightly uncomfortable with, or perhaps simply unaccustomed to praise. Still, Toriel does not intend to stop giving it where deserved, and he does not move his hand away. "I mean, I had to do something. No one messes with my little bro – especially not some dumb flower, right?"

"They certainly do not – unless, of course, they wish to have a bad time," Toriel agrees, and they exchange wry smiles, recent events coming to mind. Perhaps flowers are not the most trustworthy sorts, after all. "Well – as I said, it was long ago, but we also used to bring the children here. Asriel loved to see the stones, the echo flowers – he took it all very seriously indeed." She smiles, warm and wistful; she can still hear him clear as day in her mind: "Mooom, don't watch! I can see you peeking! It has to be a secret, remember?". "I did not like  them running off into the fields alone," she explains, "so, whenever wished, Asriel always insisted that I turned around, covered my ears and closed my eyes. Because if I heard his wish, it would not come true, you see?"

How many years had passed, since they were all here; some days it seemed only yesterday, when Toriel and Asgore would sit here, snuggled up together and looking fondly on as the children played. Chara never seemed too interested in the echo flowers, but they liked to sit and swing their legs in the river, deliberately splashing Asriel to make him squeal. And now...now there is only Toriel, a familiar, yet no less sharp twinge of guilt and sorrow in her soul as she gazes up at the sparkling stones, wondering how many wishes had been made here, and how many had ever come true. Was it fair, for her to be the one who survived? For all the times she had failed her family and her people, could Toriel truly say that she deserved her place, her title? If she could have given her own life to change any of it, she would have, in the beat of a soul – but what good would wishing do now, when...

"Hey." Sans interrupts her reverie, and she sees his sockets soften at the edges as he shuffles a little closer, gently bumping the top of her arm with his shoulder, a brief but comforting touch, “if you never found out what they wished for, it could still come true, right?” Toriel smiles and nods, grateful for his unspoken understanding that no more needs to be said, that now is not the time to discussing such matters. “Then I guess maybe we should make a wish. Since we're here.”

"I suppose we ought to honour the tradition." Toriel closes her eyes, out of habit more than anything; she has naturally wished for many things inside of this room and out of this room, though with diminishing hopes over the years that any of them would come true. But now, she wishes that Frisk, wherever they may be, is safe, and happy, and loved. She wishes for peace, for the strength to help the Underground find its way again – for all his faults, she realises, Asgore had held onto that hope, even if it ended up destroying him, for the sake of his people – her people. She wishes to preserve that hope for them, and for herself, wherever she may find it – perhaps even in moments just like this one, when she opens her eyes to the gently amused twinkle in Sans' sockets, and smiles sheepishly back as she wonders how long he has been looking at her.

"That looked like some intense wishing there. I thought for a sec you'd fallen asleep and I was gonna have to carry you back to the castle."

Toriel lets out an undignified snort of laughter, pressing a hand to her muzzle at that rather sweet yet hilariously improbable image. "You would carry me? Oh, Sans – as generous as it is of you to offer, I'm afraid I must question whether you have the backbone for such a task."

"Are you calling me spineless?"

"Come, now – do not skullk with me." Finally recovering from their mutual fits of laughter, she manages to ask: "Did you make a wish, too?"

"Might've done," Sans replies, elusive again, but this time shooting her a wink so as to leave no doubt as to the answer. “I can't tell you, Tori – else it won't come true, remember?”

“I would never ask you to. I was simply curious if you had considered wishing for a new telescope,” she smirks, unable to resist teasing, "as you seem to be having some trouble keeping that one clean."

"Brutal, Tori. You really goat me there." Sans winces, making her giggle as he clutches dramatically at his shirt, as though mortally wounded. "That's okay, though – the sweet thing is, you can see most of the constellations right here. See that up there?" He points up to the ceiling, Toriel's eyes following to the biggest, brightest stone illuminating the river. "We call that one the Tem Star. Or, to give it its full title, uh...Temmius Ijustmadethatupicus."

They continue in a similar vein, tracing out imaginary images in the sparkling stones – a hot dog here, a snail over there, a smiling face before they start to become increasingly specific and nonsensical, making up ridiculous "facts" to make each other laugh. The distance between them seems to grow increasingly smaller, leaning in closer together for warmth – or perhaps simply because they want to, and Toriel cannot help but be grateful that they are a safe distance away for the echo flowers to pick them up. Not because they are saying anything that ought not to be repeated; but simply because, after a lifetime of the entire Underground knowing all her personal affairs, there are some moments – like the way Sans' head falls back against her shoulder when he yawns in the middle of telling her all about the long and complex history of the River Person's Belt, and remains there until they depart – that Toriel would like to keep for herself.

Perhaps the stars above them are not the genuine article, but looking up at their sparkle, all of the hope and promise of wishes made and those yet to be fulfilled that bounces off of the river, shining down on them, Toriel cannot imagine anything brighter – or more beautiful.