#Reverb Worship

[whisperairwatchmebloom]

!!!!!

[kitten4sannie]

pairing: ex! san x fem! reader feat. wingman seonghwa and instigator mingi

genres: omg actual plot ??, exes to lovers, romance, angst with a happy ending, fluff, an attempt at humor, smut finale

summary: during a winter getaway with your friends, you end up having to come face to face with Choi San, the man who broke your heart in two just last christmas.

w.c: 8.2k

tags: features the unholy trinity: misunderstandings/miscommunication/messiness, drama (i bring drama-ma-ma-ma~), alcohol use, mutual jealousy, mutual pining, lots of banter, third parties, poor sannie and reader are just two big dummies with even bigger hearts </3,, like 20 flashbacks (okay it’s like 2 but i like being dramatic sue me), too many winter analogies, insecurities, confessions, l bombs, tears, all that jazz

warnings: soft dom! san (literally the softest dom to ever exist IM SICK), subby! reader, pussydrunk san and cockdrunk reader (like these mfs are so desperate for each other it’s actually disgusting), dirty talk, pet names, praise, possessiveness, kissing, a lot of spit (leave me alone!!!), tit play, grinding, body worship, oral (receiving), passionate condomless lovemaking by the fire baybeeeee, breeding kink, bulge kink, creampies

a/n: so i listen to last christmas religiously every year and while i was jamming my hamster brain was like “WRITE WRITE WRITE” so i diddd and yeahh this happened??? lmao but fr this was the most fun i’ve ever had writing since feb filth fest…. like wtf. i gotta write plot forward fics more often this shit’s like a drug man. anyways i hope you enjoy my dear lovelies <33

*shoutout to my sweetheart bunbun @cottoncandy-girl for beta reading and hyping this fic up during the writing process. i would’ve second guessed myself twice as much if not for you. you’re a lifesaver!! mwah mwah ~~

song rec for the general vibe: last christmas by wham obv <3, fool by frankie cosmos, snowfall (slowed and reverb) by oneheart, know me by gemini, easily by bruno major, flowers and chocolate by eyedress

angst: pleaser by the wallows, do me right by gemini, homesick by wave to earth, cherie by hojean

smut: mice city by hotel ugly, between your thighs by jimmy brown, lock me in by hojean, touch by keshi, your love by brb

Masterlist

“Hey, Y/N,” your best friend began, walking around the side of your beat-up car to the trunk where you were busy shoving various suitcases and bags into the small space and trying to make them fit. “So, don’t get mad, but–”

With a case of wine bottles in hand, you slowly set it down on the lip of the trunk, side-eyeing your friend with the intensity of a thousand suns. It was so powerful, it’d probably melt the snow that had been falling around your feet for the past thirty minutes. “Why would I be mad? What’s going on?”

“Just breathe for me, okay?” she sighed, bringing a hand up to play with a few strands of her hair. “So, you know how Seonghwa’s coming up to the cabin with us?”

“Um, yeah…? I don’t care about you bringing your boyfriend with us, you know. Just let me know if you’re gonna fuck so I can put my headphones on,” you replied, lifting the case up and pushing it inside the empty space of the trunk, satisfied that your long game of tetris was finally complete.

She quickly waved her hands, shaking her head. “No, that’s not…” she started, taking in a deep inhale, before letting it out, a wave of condensation hitting the cold air between the two of you. “He invited…someone. Someone you know.”

You bent down into the trunk to move a few items around, making sure they wouldn’t collapse on each other. “Okay? I only know you and a few other people, bestie. Who could it possibly be–”

“It’s San,” she finally blurted out, her face scrunching up in anticipation of your reaction.

Once your ex was spoken into existence again, a flood of memories from the previous year bombarded your defenseless brain and heart, causing you to stand up so quickly, you hit your head on the edge of the trunk lid.

“Oh my god, Y/N, are you okay?” your friend gasped, already at your side, helping you stand up straight and placing her hand on the one you had held against the back of your head.

“Oh, yeah, I’m good. I think that just knocked all the bad memories out of my brain. Ready to head out?” you chimed, giving her a thumbs up with your keys in hand, stumbling a bit in place, your vision fading out slightly.

Sighing, your friend reached for the keys. “Yeah, I’m driving.”

❆ ❆ ❆

Your friend pulled her keys out of the ignition once she parked in a free space near the cabin you’d both be staying at, turning her head to observe the way you were playing with the drawstrings of your joggers with a pout on your sullen face. “Y/N, are you sure you’re okay? You know, we’re visiting everyone else later, so you can always stay at their cabin, if you’d like. It’s much bigger and has wifi, and definitely won’t have S–”

“I’m not a little bitch,” you suddenly whined, your eyebrows furrowed, your pout growing. “I can handle being in the same cabin with my dumbass ex, okay? I don’t even care that he’s here, actually.”

She nodded her head knowingly, giving you a gentle smile. “Just let me know if you’re uncomfortable, please. And if he starts up with one of his…unique personalities, tell me or Seonghwa, alright? He knows how to handle him.”

“I can handle him myself. There’s plenty of snow for me to toss him into, or some flames if our cabin has a fireplace,” you muttered, too stubborn to admit that your heart would most likely explode as soon as you had the displeasure of witnessing his disgustingly handsome face and charming dimpled smile.

Your friend shook her head slightly, unable to keep from smiling in your direction. “There is a fireplace, yeah.”

You sighed contentedly, admiring the expanse of dense snow, the sundry of oversized pine trees, the far away mountains covered in white, and the cluster of cozy-looking cabins beyond the frosted windshield. “Finally, some good news.”

Once you both got to the front steps of the cabin you’d be staying at, your arms full of the items that you could bring from the car, the front door swung open, almost giving you a heart attack on the spot.

“Baby, you’re here!” Seonghwa gasped, pulling your friend into his arms when she set her stuff down on the porch and spinning her around in a small circle, his eyes twinkling with pure adoration.

Once Seonghwa acknowledged your presence with a warm greeting, you stood off to the side while your friend and Seonghwa kissed and giggled with each other, your arms beginning to feel like jelly, wishing someone would just stamp the words “third wheel” on your forehead already.

“That looks heavy,” you heard someone say in a deeply familiar baritone voice, causing you to whip your head towards the origin, your wide eyes meeting San’s concerned coffee brown ones. “Do you want me to carry it in for you?”

“San,” you automatically blurted out, alarm bells going off, the mini versions of you running around in panic inside your head, your fingers clasping tighter around your things.

“Y/N,” he parroted back in the same cadence, already moving closer to you, his arms sliding underneath your belongings and holding them up with ease, his navy sweater doing nothing to conceal the solid mass of his arm muscles. “Is it like, misogynistic for me to carry your things?”

You opened and closed your hands, trying your get rid of the pins and needles. “No, I’d say it’s progressive since it’s a big dumb caveman carrying my things, so women: 1, patriarchy: 0.”

San offered you a dimpled smile, his wide shoulders scrunching up slightly, as a hearty laugh emanated from his throat. “Caveman, I like that. Should I go find a cave to explore?” He tilted his head, his eyes flitting between yours and your pleasing body line. “Maybe try to start a fire?”

Your heart leapt into your throat, forcing you to gulp it down. You sneered, already beginning to push past him to enter the cabin, only turning your head back to tell him, “Start a fire and jump inside, caveman.”

San smiled at you, seeing right past your act, watching you walk away, before turning his head to look at the two lovebirds still hugging on each other. “See that? She already gave me a pet name.”

❆ ❆ ❆

“Fuck,” you groaned, dropping yourself down onto the surprisingly comfy mattress in the cozy guest room you were occupying, finally done with putting your clothes and toiletries away in their respective places, for the most part, also noticing that the violent hammering inside your chest had subsided.

And then your door opened.

“Yo, this cabin is pretty sick, right? It’s got a nice, cabin-ey feeling to it,” San announced, walking into your room and looking around like he owned the place. Typical San behavior. Whistling casually, he eventually headed over to your side of the bed, picking up a few skincare products that were sitting on your bedside table to study them. “Does this retinol shit really work?”

“Excuse me, but are you lost? This is my room,” you combated, not bothering to get up from the bed you were currently sinking into, simply turning on your back and lifting your head up slightly to glare at him.

“Bro.” San clutched his chest like you had just emptied a clip right in between his tits, his eyebrows turning upwards, his bottom lip jutting out in a pout. “Why do you act like we haven’t been inside each other?” He climbed onto the bed, looking down at you past his black bangs. “Matter of fact, I know you better than your little friend downstairs.”

You stared up at him, cursing yourself for wanting nothing more than to grab him by his stupid face and kiss him — but you wouldn’t, not after what he did. “You’re so gross.”

“Like in a sexy way, right?” he quipped, chuckling when you just shook your head. San slowly laid himself down beside you, looking up at the ceiling, reaching up behind his head and cupping the back of it to get more comfortable. “You didn’t argue against the fact that I know you better than your own self proclaimed ‘bestie’, you know.”

You let out a small sigh, resting your hands down at your sides, gripping the quilted blanket underneath you, your heart pounding inside your chest just like it did last Christmas. Did you ever fall out of love with him? Was that why your heart felt so stuck? Frozen in place? Like it was waiting for San to make it beat again? “Well, for once, you’re not wrong. I…let you in back then, obviously, so yeah, you know me better than she does. You know me better than anyone.”

San began to reach for your hand, hesitating for a second, not even realizing his walls were just as high. If only he could gather the courage to bring them down. “Y/N…”

You turned to look at San just as he turned his whole body towards yours, giving you one of his infamous gazes, his eyes closed ever so slightly, his lips parted, drawing in a breath. He lowered his hand, touching the top of yours, rubbing it with his thumb. “You know what else I know?”

Why did he have to do this to you? Just what the fuck was his problem?

“What, San?” you questioned underneath your breath, seconds away from losing it completely.

His eyes lost their playful twinkle, instead displaying sorrow. “Y/N, I–”

Seonghwa popped his head into the room. “Y/N, have you seen– Oh,” he deadpanned, displaying an oddly delighted smile for a split second, before his lips evened out. “We’re heading to the hang out now. It’s gonna snow pretty hard in a bit so it’s now or never.”

You both sat up from the bed, your cheeks burning like you had just been caught, well, inside of each other.

Seonghwa was about to say something when your friend walked up behind him and pulled him into whisper something, causing him to whisper back, the both of them nodding at each other.

You and San exchanged glances, before all four of you looked at one another. “Are you hiding things from me, pookie?” you playfully asked your friend, pouting.

“No, I’d never hide anything from you, pookie wookie baby bear!” she cried dramatically, running into the room and tackling you back down onto the bed.

San looked to Seonghwa, making grabby hands at him. “Where’s my hug?”

Seonghwa clicked his tongue, pointing at San’s thin sweater as it rose past his hips. “You better put on some more layers before we go, pookie bear. It’s cold as balls outside.”

❆ ❆ ❆

Instead of hanging out inside your friend’s friends’ cabin where the party was at, you loitered outside in the snow, building yourself a snowman. Maybe he’d stay by your side longer than the last one.

“Hey, what are you doing out here by yourself, ba–” San started, standing with his arm just barely pressing into yours, immediately clearing his throat, sticking his hands into his coat pockets. “Y/N, I mean, heh, sorry I’ve had a few drinks.”

You almost broke the empty beer bottle you were using as the snowman’s nose inside your hands from hearing San almost address you as baby, turning your head to look at the adorably goofy smile he had on his stupidly cute face. You bit your lip, wishing he would just say it, the layers of ice around your heart starting to crack. “I figured. Well, how come you’re out here with me, instead of shotgunning a beer or something with your caveman friends?”

Amused, San nodded his head, impressed by your ability to keep up with your shtick. “They’re too busy hanging around the fireplace, you know. The fire’s so pretty, they got distracted.” He grinned at you, grinning harder when you began to smile back at him, his heart skipping a beat at the sound of the giggle that escaped your lips. “I missed your giggle…missed you…” he murmured absentmindedly, pretending to stay busy by helping you round out the head of the snowman, while you stuck a rock into it where one of the eyes would be.

You dropped the other rock, standing still, feeling your mouth go dry. You racked your brain over his words, wanting to ask him why he didn’t stay with you in the first place if he was just going to miss you so much. You missed him too. You wanted him to know.

By the time you had made up your mind, San had picked up the rock and stuck it into the snow, completing the snowman’s face. “There we go. Mr. Snowman’s looking real nice.” He waited for a second, before turning to look at you with a concerned pout. “He’s not cuter than me, right?” When you didn’t respond, he blinked, leaning in. “Y/N?”

Instead of responding, you found yourself wrapping your arms around San’s neck, pulling him into a hug. You didn’t even say anything — you just focused on feeling his warm body against yours, recalling what it felt like to be his. His baby. If only he would just say it.

“Baby…” he whispered just under his breath, so carefully, like he risked the chance of causing an avalanche if he spoke any louder, gently rubbing your back in circles, automatically resting his head on the top of yours like he did last year. “What’s this about?”

“I don’t know, I just–” you murmured into his chest, your own about to collapse in on itself from hearing what he said, hugging onto him a little tighter than before, wishing things were different. “I…I think I’m drunk…”

“Oh…” San replied, swallowing harshly, only pulling away once you started to. He tucked a bit of hair behind your ear, giving you a concerned look. “You should come back inside and drink some water, then. Seonghwa was right to tell me to check up on you.”

Your face fell slightly, the bottle that was stuck inside the snowman drooping inside the melting snow as if it was mirroring your disappointment. “You…only came out here because Seonghwa told you to?”

“Well, I mean, he was the one that noticed you were gone, so he just thought I should make sure you were okay, yeah…” San explained, rubbing his arm.

You nodded your head, a soft smile returning to your face, not wanting San to see the hurt you felt, not yet, anyway. You were still able to hide it as of late. “That’s nice of him.”

“Yeah, Hwa’s a sweetie,” San mused, noticing the sad snowman, reaching out to fix the position of the beer bottle. “Too bad he’s taken, otherwise I’d be wifing him up and giving him the exclusive Choi San Caveman Experience. There’s a trademark on that, by the way.”He gave you another goofy smile, his smile growing when you offered him a few small giggles.

“I think you need water more than I do,” you mentioned, gently punching his arm.

San chuckled, his smile softening, wanting to say so much more than just, “You might be right.”

After a few seconds of too much silence, and too much yearning for an important conversation to take place, you instead pointed to the lively cabin behind you. “You should go get some. I’ll be back inside soon.”

“Okay, sounds good.” He put his hands back into his pockets, lingering there for a moment, before heading back inside.

You stood there for a while, watching the makeshift nose of the snowman begin to droop again, before you reeled your foot back and kicked into the base of the snowman, watching it topple over and fall apart.

❆ ❆ ❆

You lingered near the spiked punch bowl that sat inside the corner of the cabin’s empty kitchen, drinking down a solo cup’s worth of the fruity beverage and tossing the cup into the sink, not noticing another person’s presence until you turned to the side and bumped your nose into their broad chest. “Oh, shit– I’m sorry,” you apologized, backing up a bit to see that you had ran into no one other than Song Mingi, the man you had trauma dumped and cried to for an hour before having mindless rebound sex with after San dumped you. “Min, hey. Long time, no see.”

“Y/N. It’s nice to see you again. Very nice,” Mingi mused, taking a long sip of his drink, just studying you with his amused, half-closed eyes, pointing upwards with his finger. “What are the odds of this?”

“Hm?” Your eyes followed where he was pointing until your gaze settled on the mistletoe that hung from the doorway above the two of you, a memory of the past immediately lighting up the insides of your brain like the flash of a camera, the snapshot still fresh in your subconscious as though it had never faded in the first place, much like your feelings for San — but who were you to admit that to yourself?

“Jesus, what is with people and mistletoe?” you grumbled, crossing your arms over your itchy christmas sweater, ready to shield your eyes so you didn’t have to look at the two people vigorously making out underneath the red berries that were hung from the ceiling of the crowded cabin.

San hovered near you, running a hand through his hair, his eyes studying your scrunched up, flushed face, wondering how you could be so cute. “The origin of mistletoe is actually really romantic, y’know.” Once you met his gaze, his lips curled into a smile, his dimples making an appearance.

You gripped onto your sweater sleeve, smiling softly back at him, your annoyance fading. “Tell me about it then, Mr. Historian.”

San’s eyes sparkled at your reaction, his shoulder gently pressing into yours as he brought his drink up to his mouth. “Mistletoe has always been able to survive in the harshest of winters. Even when everything’s frozen…” When he lowered his hand, the side of his pinky touched yours, sending warmth into the both of your bodies. “….it still finds a way to bloom.”

You took in a quick breath, having to look down at your feet before your heart burst out of your chest as an unintentional ode to Alien and ruined the annual christmas party. “I didn’t peg you as a hopeless romantic, San.”

“I’m full of surprises, baby.” San hummed, gently taking your chin in his grasp and pressing a kiss to your lips, giggling delightedly as you buried your scorching face into his chest, his heart pounding, wanting nothing more than to show you just how hopelessly in love he was with you, but too afraid to grant you access to the very intense, very full extent of it, let alone himself.

He was full of surprises, so full of them that he was able to show such a meaningful display of love to you and still break up with you on the very same night, with little to no explanation, just a simple ‘I’m sorry.’ Choi San was truly an enigma — one you cursed yourself for still wanting to grasp, to hold, to forgive.

You looked down at Mingi’s drink only for him to motion for you to take it, immediately downing the punch until you were sucking on an ice cube and crunching it between your teeth, satisfied with the buzz coursing through your body, bitterness still seeping its way in your veins. You knew that what you were about to do wouldn’t make you feel any better, but you did it anyway, grabbing Mingi by the collar of his ugly Christmas sweater and smashing your lips against his. What you didn’t know, however, was that San was standing at the end of the hallway, with his hand in his coat pocket, there to witness how Mingi pressed you into the wall.

❆ ❆ ❆

Your friend slowly inched her way towards you from across the brightly lit, festively decorated living room full of your boisterous acquaintances having a battle with each other to determine who could be the loudest, drunkest individual in the room. Currently, it was San, unsurprisingly, who had a beer in one hand while hugging onto the obscenely large Christmas tree in the middle of the room. You couldn’t tell exactly what song he was singing, but you were pretty sure it was a romantic, mostly cheesy pop ballad from the 80s.

“Having fun?” your friend gauged softly, sitting down on the sofa in the corner beside you, clinking her glass beer bottle against yours.

You shrugged, taking a few sips of the chilled beer, crossing one leg over the other. “I made out with Mingi earlier, so that was cool, I guess.”

“You what?” she gasped, pressing closer to you, grabbing your arm and shaking you. “Y/N, oh my god, that’s so —” Her gossipy tone turned into one of concern. “But what about San?”

“What about San?” you grumbled, internally annoyed that all you could think about was San when Mingi’s tongue was down your throat. “He probably already did the same thing, considering how torched he is.”

She sighed, sinking into the couch, very well aware of how San truly felt about you, last Christmas, and how much he wanted to turn things around. Of course she would know. She had to hear it from Seonghwa, who in turn heard it from San off and on for the entire year, but she wasn’t about to speak for him. He would have to do that himself.

“Are you going to play truth, dare, or drink with us?” Mingi suddenly asked you, leaning his hip against the side of the couch, causing you and your friend to look up at him.

“Ehh.” You shrugged your shoulders at him.

He put a hand on your shoulder, squeezing it, feeling someone’s eyes burning holes into the back of his head, figuring San was watching the both of you from the tree, who indeed was, his hands tightening around his beer and the scratchy pine needles he was holding onto. “It’ll be more fun if you join in, Y/N. How bout it?”

You sucked on your teeth for a second, your eyes moving past Mingi to gaze at San across the room, who was now talking to a girl who had came up to him, your stomach sinking at the clear appearance of his dimples. Stupid caveman.

You stood up, fingers squeezing around your poor beer bottle. “Fuck it, I’m in.”

“Good, good,” Mingi replied, smiling absentmindedly, bringing his own drink up to his lips, as if he wasn’t aware of the disaster he was about to bring into fruition — and all for the chance that he could recreate the events of last year’s Christmas party. It led to him having a pretty, teary-eyed girl in his bed to take care of, after all.

❆ ❆ ❆

“Yo, I can’t believe — he actually — I can’t breathe,” someone gasped out in between soundless laughs, falling back into their chair along with their other friends, pointing at San as he trudged back into the cabin past the sliding door, clad in only a form-fitting pair of Christmas themed boxers, wiping some snow off of his shoulders, before immediately going for his mixed drink and tossing it back victoriously, one hand on his hip.

“You bitches really thought I wouldn’t do it,” San chuckled self-righteously, taking another sip, before letting out a low ‘aaah’. “Someone owes me 20 bucks. Which one of you was it?” He held up an accusative finger to one of the girls nearby, who giggled and held her hands up defensively. “It was you, wasn’t it? Give it up!”

The rest of the group laughed in response, drunkenly leaning into each other, gleeful smiles plastered on their flushed faces.

“San’s pretty lively tonight,” Seonghwa said near you, nudging you gently with his elbow. “It’s almost kind of cute, huh?” Poor man was out of the loop, but he was trying, bless his heart.

“Cute?” you muttered, raising an eyebrow at him. “He’s butt-ass naked at a Christmas party. He’s a grown man wearing boxers with candy canes on it. What on earth is cute about that?”

Seonghwa pursed his lips, side-eyeing you. “I don’t know, I just thought you’d agree with the way you’ve been staring at him all night.“

You almost choked on your spit, bringing a hand up to your hair to smooth it out. “Well, it’s hard to keep my eyes off of him when he’s being an annoying ass pick-me like that.”

“But you picked…him.”

“I did. Ages ago, Seonghwa,” you corrected him, watching San out of the corner of your eye, unable to believe that he was letting the girl slip a twenty directly into the waistline of his boxers. As soon as you looked down, San’s eyes were on you, his lips turning into a frown, immediately pushing the girl’s hand away when it lingered a bit too long, his eyes filled with bitter determination. “You know what he did to me. He spent all that time getting my hopes up all year long, only to hit me with the ‘i’m bad with commitment’ card before he left the party last year. That’s bullshit and we both know it.”

Seonghwa sighed in defeat, sinking back into his seat, biting at his lip. “I get what you’re saying, Y/N, I really do. It was unbelievably shitty for him to do that to you, but San…I think he really regrets it. All he talks about is you, Y/N.” Seonghwa turned to face you, gently touching your wrist. “He’s always loved you. He just doesn’t know how to verbalize it.”

You started biting at your lip too, simply listening to your friend’s words, wondering if there was any truth to them. It’s not like you were hearing them from San himself. That would be a different story — though you didn’t know if he was even capable of that kind of vulnerability. “I’d like to believe that, Hwa. I just…”

“Oh my god! With tongue? My virgin eyes!” someone gasped loudly at something, covering their eyes, their friends laughing at his dramatic performance.

“At least someone’s getting some,” Mingi chuckled, while eyeing you, currently holding up the same piece of mistletoe you had encountered together earlier, only this time someone else was under it. Someone that made you wish you had never even came up to the cabin in the first place.

“There’s no way…” you whispered to yourself, unable to take your eyes off of San, who was holding that same girl against him, his hands clutching her hips, his tongue halfway into her mouth by the time you got up from the couch and grabbed a water cup from the coffee table, determined to keep your tears inside your body before you stormed out, but you had to answer to your demons first.

“Y/N, he’s just drunk! He’s trying to make you jealous, okay? He’s being an idiot! Y/N, listen–” Seonghwa tried fruitlessly to reason with you, reaching for your wrist, only for it to slip out of his grasp as you made your way up to San and the unsuspecting woman.

Your bitter, frozen heart quelled you to toss the water at San, watching it splash onto the side of his reddened face, the shock of it sobering him up almost instantaneously, causing him to pull away from the woman and look at you, the weight of his faulty decisions hitting him square into the chest when he saw the tears in your eyes. “Y/N…I…I didn’t mean….I just…” Tears began to form inside his own eyes. “I just wanted you to see me.”

“I see you, San,” you whispered, your voice cracking underneath the weight of your emotional turmoil. “I’ve seen enough, actually.”

San froze in place, while what felt like cement sink to the bottom of his stomach, unable to get himself to stop you from grabbing a freshly opened bottle of booze from someone’s hands and walking away from him.

Your friend tried in vain to reason with you, getting hit with a death glare, before you stormed out. She turned to Seonghwa, whispering “Do something,” encouraging him to run over to San, grabbing him by the shoulders and temporarily keeping him upright.

“San, listen to me.”

San sniffled, his nose sporting a pink hue, as hot tears began to drip down his clammy face, sinking down to his knees, watching as Seonghwa sank down with him. “Seonghwa, I fucked up. I just wanted her to want me. I wanted her to get jealous and take what’s hers. I didn’t know how– a-and her, and Mingi– I just thought maybe if I–”

Seonghwa shook San a bit, his nostrils flaring, his fingers squeezing into his friend’s trembling shoulders. “Get a grip and listen to me!” As soon as San took in a shaky breath and let it out, Seonghwa cleared his throat. “You’re going to put some fucking clothes on, nut up, and go after her. It’s now or never.”

San wiped his eyes, trying to control his breathing. “B-but what do I say, Seonghwa? How can I possibly–”

Seonghwa suddenly pulled him into a hug, clutching the back of his head, feeling San slowly begin to relax against him. “You’re going be honest with her, San. Tell her what you’ve always wanted her to know. The world isn’t going to end after you do. She’ll still be there, and you’ll be safe.”

San clutched Seonghwa’s back, blinking away a few remaining tears. “You promise?”

Seonghwa pulled away, curling his pinky finger around his best friend’s, giving him a firm nod. “Promise.” Seeing the trust inside San’s sparkling eyes, Seonghwa reached up to ruffle his hair, smiling softly. “Oh, and give her that Christmas present you’ve been waiting for her to open.”

A small smile slowly apread across his splotchy face, before he gave Seonghwa a stern nod back, reaching his hand inside the pocket of his coat to feel what had been sitting inside and collecting dust for the entire year. It was time. Things weren’t going to end up like last Christmas. It would be different this time. He would make sure of it.

❆ ❆ ❆

With each passing minute, you sank a little further into the abyss of your memories, as well as the freshly fallen layers of snow that surrounded you, splashes of alcohol melting into it whenever you took a lazy swig and dropped the bottle back down at your side. “You dummy…” you mumbled to yourself, sniffling, your warm tears and body doing its best to combat the chilly environment around you.

Once you reached a street lamp, the warm light glowing onto your damp clothes, the memories of last year, that had once been frozen over suddenly flooded into your mind so quickly, you had to lower yourself onto the gravel beneath you, resting your back against the metal of the large buzzing lamp. “Shit…” You brought your wrist to your eyes, smearing a fresh wave of tears into your slightly damp hair, realizing you had been there before, the deja vu hitting you harder than the icy night wind hit your flushed face.

“San, what’s wrong?” You stood next to your boyfriend, watching him simply stare at the Christmas tree in front of him, his hands in his coat pockets.

San clutched onto the present he had spent weeks waiting to be custom-made and even longer just staring at it inside his apartment, wondering if it was enough, if he was enough, for someone like you.

San slowly shook his head, taking his hand out of his pocket to gently grab your wrist, leaning in to ask, “Can we talk?”

“No, we’re not doing this right now,” you told yourself out loud, smacking the side of your head and shaking it back and forth to hopefully send the memory packing, but it persisted, much like the snowfall around you.

“I don’t understand, San, we were fine! We’re okay. Why are you doing this?” you cried, trying and failing to keep San from leaving the cabin, unable to catch the corner of his coat sleeve until you were both under a street lamp, the light blinking occasionally.

San slowly turned around to face you for a moment, shaking his head, keeping his tears at bay. He didn’t know what he was thinking. How would he be enough for someone like you? Poor San simply couldn’t see the beauty he saw in you in his own self. “I just can’t, Y/N. I’m so sorry. I really am.”

“Can’t what? Can you just talk to me, San? I want to understand, San, please, talk to me,” you begged him, your heart sinking further with each step you took towards him as he continued to walk away. You stopped eventually, in the front of his car, your breath caught in your throat. “So, that’s it? You’re just going to leave? Just like that?”

San stroked his hair with a shaky hand in an unconscious act of self-soathing, tears pricking the corners of his eyes, looking off to the side, before gripping the door handle of his car, as well as the felt box inside his pocket with his other hand, only seeing a blurry version of you by the time he looked back up. How could he explain how afraid he was of you and the love you offered him? How his many walls, like ice, were impenetrable, until you melted them away? It frightened him, so much so that all he could say was, “I’m so sorry, Y/N,” before he got into the car and shut the door.

“You…dummy…” you repeated, this time in a whisper, taking another swig from the bottle and choking down the strong liquor, about to force yourself to down it when you heard what sounded like a set of boots quickly shuffling through the snow.

“Y/N,” San gasped, almost completely out of breath from running through the rough winter terrain, bending forward slightly with his hands on his knees to catch his breath, sending puffs of condensation into the air around you. “I have to – tell you something–”

“Oh, now you have something to say? After all this time? That’s rich,” you scoffed, wobbling a bit as you stood up, trying to put up a front like you had done earlier, though your facade had since melted away, your quivering lips and red, teary eyes on full display. “…Go on, San…”

San finally caught his breath, his heart still hammering away inside his chest, reaching up to his head to stroke his somewhat damp raven hair, trying to swallow the growing lump inside his throat. “Y/N, I…I should’ve said this a long time ago, instead of just leaving you the way I did…”

The longer you stared at him, the longer he felt his walls crumbling around him, figuring that he had no choice but to tell you what had always been lingering on his tongue, buzzing in his heart and mind, and swimming inside his thoughts each night when he was alone. He realized it was worth the risk of having to return to a cold, silent heart, a bitter soul, and even higher walls that he could box himself inside of. To him, you were worth anything.

Your anger slowly subsided at the sight of his serious gaze, his warm coffee-brown eyes studying you like nothing else existed besides you. In fact, nothing did, inside his world, except for you. “San…” you murmured, reaching out to touch his hand, but he already beat you to it, interlacing your cold fingers together.

“I love you, Y/N,” he admitted in the softest, most convicting voice you’ve ever heard from him, slowly pulling out the box he kept inside his coat, opening it to reveal a small gold ring with a jewel shaped like mistletoe, gently sliding it onto your finger when you held your hand out. “I love you so much, baby. So much it terrifies me.”

“Oh, San…” you sighed, breathless, bringing your hand to your chest from being so overwhelmed with emotion. After a moment, you reached for his hand, squeezing it, moving closer to him, his confession and gift warming you up more than a raging, crackling fire ever could. “San–”

“If I had just told you how I felt back then, I wouldn’t have hurt you the way I did.” He squeezed your hand back, his chapped, lower lip quivering. “I wish I could take it all back. It’s all I’ve been able to think about– How I wish I could just turn back time and–”

You silenced San’s words with a gentle kiss, letting go of his hand to wrap your arms around his neck, his arms following suit, closing around your waist. You broke the kiss after a moment to whisper, “I love you too, San. Always have.” You caressed his face, making sure he felt the love pouring out of your words when you promised, “Always will.”

San let out a trapped breath of air, hugging you against him, protectively clutching the back of your head, unable to stop everything he had held inside from spilling out of him all at once.

You simply held him in your arms and stroked the back of his head, not noticing when the light above you had flickered once and went out for a split second, only to shine brighter than it did before, the light warming the exposed skin of your flushed cheeks.

❆ ❆ ❆

San sat on his knees beside the crackling fire, adjusting a piece of firewood, watching the flame catch onto it and travel along the cedar, enjoying the warmth on his skin, eventually turning his head back to admire the sight of you bundled up on the couch with a plush blanket on your lap, your hands clasped around a cup of tea, your eyes admiring your twinkling ring, before you noticed his loving gaze.

“Sannie, come here, love,” you spoke softly, taking one finger off of the cup to beckon him to you, sliding the blanket off and putting the cup down after one more sip.

“Coming, baby.” Eyes sparkling, San inched his way over to you, still on his knees, fitting himself in between yours so that he could wrap his arms around your middle, resting his head against your chest. “Mm, you’re so warm.”

You ran your fingers through his soft, still slightly damp hair, waiting till he looked up at you to caress his cheek, a small sigh leaving your lips. “I’m sorry for what I did to you earlier. I really shouldn’t have reacted like that. It was hypocritical of me.” You ran your fingers gently along his jaw, noticing the way he leaned into your touch.

“No, baby, I’m sorry,” he replied, rubbing his hands up and down your sides, pouting. “I did…that to you in front of everyone…It was really shitty…I just couldn’t think straight after I saw you with Mingi.”

Your face fell, your fingers sliding back into San’s hair to play with it. “I’m so sorry. It wasn’t…I want you to know that there was no meaning behind it, love. I was just bitter. And drunk.”

“I know, Y/N. It’s all forgiven, I promise you.” San reassured softly, responding well to your light touches, nuzzling your hand when it came back to his cheek, his fingers sliding underneath your sweater to squeeze into your sides, sending a light shiver up your spine. “But, you know what, baby?”

“What, Sannie?” Your body temperature started to increase as San brought himself up higher so that you were face to face, body to body, his palms settling onto your bare back.

���There’s meaning behind this,” he whispered, bringing his hands up to cup your face, before gently pressing his lips onto yours. You shared a few firm, passionate kisses, your lips moving against one another’s, hearing San whisper something else that sent a wave straight into your core. “Can you feel it, baby? My love?”

“Yeah, show me more, Sannie,” you murmured against his lips, his mouth slotting back onto yours, almost making you forget to breathe when his tongue began to explore the inside of your mouth.

San sucked lightly on your tongue, before moving down to kiss on your neck, his hands moving further up to unclasp your bra from underneath your sweater. “Can I please touch you, baby?” he asked with a desperation that made his deep voice go up an octave higher.

“Yes, please, touch me,” you responded with just as much desperation, arching your back into his touch when he slipped his hands up the front of your sweater, moving your tits in slow, gentle circles, his lips and teeth attacking your neck and collarbone.

“You feel so good in my hands, baby, fuck, I missed you so much,” San exhaled into your neck, squeezing the roundness of your tits in between his fingers, squishing them together, and lifting them up, only to drop them back down into his palms, groaning all the while. He pulled back slightly, rolling the hem of your sweater up a bit, his hooded, dilated eyes focused solely on yours. “Can I take this off?”

A quick nod was all it took for him to lift your sweater up over your head, your bra falling to the floor. Not wanting you to be alone, he reached behind his head and pulled his own sweater off, his sculpted, muscular upper body bathed in glowing, orange light from the fire blazing away behind him. “You’re so beautiful, Y/N…” he sighed, admiring your body like he did the very first time he saw you bare in front of him.

“So are you,” you replied, slowly running your hands up along his abdomen and back down, his muscles flexing slightly underneath your touch, his eyes following your fingers as they unbuckled his belt, pulling his pants down to reveal his cute custom briefs. “My Sannie, so precious.”

San blushed, his goofy smile slowly disappearing as he unbuttoned your pants, biting hard into his bottom lip once he got them off of you. “Baby…” Unable to just sit there and admire you, he reached forward to cup your tits, running his thumbs back and forth over your stiff nipples, lust clearly running rampant in his head and body by the way he was looking at you with such clear hunger in his eyes, his cock hard and stiff against your core. “Can I taste you?”

“Baby, you don’t have to ask, okay? You can have me, in any way–” you started breathily, feeling San’s cock beginning to pulse against you. “–Every way, Sannie. Please, take care of me.”

San suddenly clutched your hips, slowly grinding his clothed cock into your heat, while his mouth closed around one of your nipples to suck on it, his hooded eyes looking up into yours, his tongue darting out to lap at your tit.

“Feels so good, your mouth on me,” you breathed out, running your fingers through his hair, clutching it tight when he swapped your tit for the other, his jaw lowering so that he could fit more of your squishy globe into his mouth, sucking on it desperately. “Sannie…please…”

Knowing what you wanted, San pulled back to spit onto your tits, watching it drip down, before leaning back in to lick it up, his tongue cascading up and down your now slick skin, still guiding your hips against him, your legs already hooked around his slim waist. Your whiny moans were like music to his ears, taking a break from sucking and licking you to say, “You like it messy, don’t you, baby girl? Makes you so wet for me, doesn’t it?”

“Uh-huh, now come here,” you could barely get out, before you grabbed his face and slammed your lips against his, your mouths and tongues working in tandem, strands of spit dripping down your chins, San’s hands squeezing tightly into your hips, grinding against you so quick, so desperately, you were both about to reach your highs just from that.

“Sannie,” you sighed against his lips, caressing his jaw, his cock rubbing against your cunt in just the right way, your body pulsing with the need to be filled.

“Y/N,” he sighed back, pressing his forehead onto yours, the both of you breathing in the same air, the thick, throbbing length of his cock rubbing deliciously along your clothed slit until your lower halves began to jolt, your moans and gasps crescendoing in unison. “Cumming? Are you cumming for me, baby?”

“Y–esss, Sannie, m’ cumming for you,” you cried out, holding onto him as tightly as you could, your nails digging lightly into his back, feeling his muscles contracting. “Cum for me too, please, baby, let me see you.”

San let out a choked, whiny moan, panting heavily, losing his quick, focused thrusts, opting for sloppy, abrupt movements, barely about to get out the word, “B–abyyy…”

You both fell apart in each other’s arms, your eyes never breaking contact, your combined arousal soaking through your respective undergarments.

Once you both caught your breath, San reached down to rub your pussy with two thick fingers, able to see your slit through your shiny, see-through panties, his cum-covered cock already twitching back to life. “Fuck, baby, look at that…you’re completely soaked.”

“Just for you,” you nodded, spreading your thighs open further, pulling the hem of your panties up a bit to emphasize your puffy cunt, your clit pressing into the soft cloth material.

“Oh my god, baby, I need to taste you,” San suddenly whined, squeezing his fingers into the softness of your thighs, lowering himself down to take a deep inhale of your arousal, his head going completely fuzzy, unable to keep himself from drooling onto your cunt.

You slipped your fingers into his soft hair, bringing his face against your heat, sighing at the feeling of his nose bumping against your clit as he took another deep breath, shuddering when he began to tongue your cunt through your panties. “That’s it, Sannie, feels so good,” you moaned, your praise going straight to San’s cock, causing it to strain against his stained briefs.

“Mmmn,” San moaned against your pussy, licking one slow, long strip up your slit to your clit, filled with so much need for you that he couldn’t keep himself from tearing your panties off of you with one quick tug, making you gasp and release more slick, his mouth already on you to lap it right up, his other hand shoving his briefs down so that his cock could spring out against his abdomen, pre-cum smearing across his tan skin. “This pussy is all mine, baby…mine to eat, mine to fuck….mine to fill, isn’t it?”

“Yes, Sannie, all yours, it’s all yours,” you answered, clutching his hair, desperately grinding your cunt against his tongue when he held it out, looking deep into his eyes that never left yours for a second, suddenly gasping out when San spread your hole open, sending a wad of spit inside before his agile tongue slipped inside of you.

San grabbed the undersides of your thighs and lifted your lower half up so that he could tongue fuck you as deep as humanly possible, letting out a pleased moan each time his tongue entered your soaked, pulsing hole. He kept going until you saw stars, going ‘uh-huhhh, uh-huhhh’ as soon as you began to shudder, your arousal squirting out and soaking his flushed face.

“My pretty baby came so hard for me,” San sighed, licking your wetness up from your sensitive cunt and his lips, before he brought you in for another sloppy kiss, letting you taste yourself.

The longer you kissed, the more you wanted him inside you, needed him to fuck his love into you until you couldn’t remember your own name. You needed him so badly, you didnt even realize what you were doing until you had found yourself pushing San down onto the fur carpet below and straddling him, sitting on his lap in a way that showed the both of you exactly where his long, veiny cock would reach inside of you once he filled you up. “Need you, Sannie. Need you now.”

“You can have me, baby.” San’s cock twitched against your abdomen, his hands rubbing your thighs, eventually lifting you up and down onto his cock, groaning at the feeling of your pussy swallowing his length inch by inch. “Fuck, princess, have all of me.”

Instinctively, San began to buck his hips up into you, filling you up so well, you felt a bit dizzy, encouraging you to hold onto his chest, still taking his cock deep inside your cunt like you were made for him.

San must’ve agreed too because he couldn’t keep from groaning out, “Look at you, babygirl, look at the way you’re taking me, taking my cock so deep–” He pressed one hand to your abdomen, feeling the bulge his cock made each time he fucked into you, driving the both of you crazy. “Your pretty pussy was made for me, baby. Made just for me. You’re mine, babygirl.”

“Yours.” You quickly lowered yourself down to kiss him, his hands sliding up and down along your body to feel your warm skin underneath his touch, eventually settling his hands on your cheeks, wiping a few of your tears away when you began to cry from the overwhelming pleasure.

“Cum for me, Y/N…You can do it…Fall apart for me, baby, ” San encouraged in between heavy breaths, slowing the movements of his hips down, instead filling you up in a slow and meticulous manner, drawing your intense orgasm out of you. “Yes, baby, that’s it, that’s it…”

“Sannnn, oh my god, San.” The longer you fell apart, the tighter your pussy constricted around San’s cock, causing him to throw his head back, sweat dripping down along his straining neck, his veins growing more visible when he gripped your thighs tightly. “Fill me up, Sannie. Need your cum inside.”

“Cumminggg, princess, oh my god, baby girl,” San groaned heavily, lifting you up and down on his throbbing length, before fully sheathing himself inside you, coating your walls with white.

Panting, you both gazed at each other’s sweat-covered faces and bodies, knowing internally that it wasn’t enough. Not nearly.

“Again?”

“Again.”

San didn’t waste any time gently pulling you off of him and climbing on top of you instead, spreading you open and filling you back up, sighing at the sight of your mixed arousal forming a ring around the base of his cock each time he pounded himself into you. “You’re so full of my cum, baby…so full of my cock, aren’t you, pretty girl?”

“So full for you, Sannie, don’t stop,” you gasped, hardly able to breathe with the way he had you folded up, your legs over his shoulders, his cock slamming so deep inside you that you swore he was hitting your womb.

“Wasn’t gonna,” San exhaled, chuckling softly, his lips curling up to give you a smile, his eyes creasing with amusement. “Need to show you my love.”

“Show me, baby,” you sighed affectionately, smiling back at him, giggling at the sight of his eyes lighting up, before you pressed a kiss to his lips.

The wet, sloppy sound of your bodies joining together over and over filled up the otherwise quiet cabin, along with your harmonious moans, the remaining pieces of firewood still crackling away beside you. Time seemed to stop completely. It was just you and him, coming undone together for what seemed like a lifetime.

You both ended up back on the couch, your limbs and bodies entangled, snuggling together underneath the cozy blanket, talking with each other about anything and everything until your eyelids grew heavy, leading you to drift off, your fingers clasped together.

Before you could fully fall asleep, you nuzzled your cheek against San’s chest, gently inhaling his comforting scent. He smelled like aftershave, warm cedar wood, and spiced cinnamon. It reminded you of your time there at the cabin, the memories you spent together, both good and bad, swirling together to form a comfortingly bittersweet concoction, one that you would consume in every lifetime.

“San,” you whispered softly into the darkness, the fire beside the both of you now ashes and smoke.

“Yes, Y/N?” he whispered back, his arms closing around you protectively.

You sighed against his skin, your body and heart melting like the snow would begin to do as well, once the sun came up. “I love you so much, San…” You lifted your head up, hovering above him so that you could look down at him, your fingers clutching his jaw, your expression so soft San thought you might cry. “I want to show you how to share some of that love with yourself one day.”

San smiled up at you, his eyes full of so much adoration for you, it threatened to spill out of him, his fingers running through your hair. “You showed me, Y/N. Through it all, behind every word, every action, I still saw it there. That’s why I put myself first and confessed to you.” He smiled softly, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. “I’m…not nearly as put together as I seem. I just love you so much, it makes me want to be strong. For you. And…for me.”

You didn’t realize you were crying too until you saw your teardrops land on his face and slide down his cheek, wondering if your icy heart had finally melted, and that was why there were so many tears escaping from your blurry eyes. “Oh, San, my sweet San, I’ll be here to watch you grow, I promise,” you murmured, hugging onto him and laying back down to rest your head on his chest, gently rolling the ring around your finger.

San’s hand came up from underneath the blanket to rest on top of yours. He squeezed your hand and you squeezed right back. “Promise?”

“Promise,” you repeated softly, closing your eyes, your heart at peace. “As long as you promise to watch me too.”

San closed his eyes too, a few more happy tears dripping past his cheeks, squeezing you just a little tighter than before. San felt safe. Whole. “I’d love nothing more, Y/N.”

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© kitten4sannie, 2023.

[chrollohearttags]

reverb: chapter ten

synopsis: after making the decision to show up to Armin’s yacht party, courtesy of her sis and uncle’s advice, (Y/N) lets loose and unwinds alongside big time names and familiar faces. Even with the event in full swing and not a thing to worry about, her mind can’t help but linger on the man who had all but flipped her world upside down (for the better, of course!) and where he was on this wonderful night. Almost certain that he had declined his own best friend’s invitation, (y/n) washes her hands of the idea that she’ll ever cross paths with the rapper ever again. But she’s taken aback when he makes a surprise appearance and with only one goal in mind: whisking her away for some alone time! Hot, drunken hookups and heavy love making await the couple for the weekend ahead. But what follows them after a second rendezvous? A potential relationship or more confusion?

word count: 10.4K

content + themes: sexual content (this is almost entirely porn with 30% plot), alcohol use, 69, fingering, body worship, mentions of weed, creampie/cumshot, missionary, drunk sex, oral (m. receiving), reverse cowgirl, back shots, squirting, daddy’s used like twice, hair pulling, lotsss of dirty talk, remnants of toxic EJ.

“So do you run game on dudes like that too?” “No baby, I don’t play with my food…I devour it.”

📝: When I tell y'all I have missed this story dearly and couldn’t wait to update it more frequently. I’m even more grateful that y’all feel the same. 🥹 seeing yalls support, the way y’all ask when the new chapter is coming and headcanons of this story has truly made me happy bc I honestly thought everyone was tired of it. But it will not be going anywhere anytime soon! Hope you guys enjoy this chapter (I got a feeling you will 🌚)!

previous chapter <<<

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The initial shock of the moment hadn’t quite processed for you and you couldn’t be certain if it was truly who you thought it was standing before you. Surely, he wouldn’t show up to something like this, even if it was for his friend. He hated large crowds, he hated social gatherings and being in these sorts of environments was not this man’s style. Yet here he was, in the flesh!

“N-no, not at all..” turning to face him as he pulled the chair out to take a seat. But not before giving you the tightest hug in the process and you swore you could’ve died right there! He smelled so good; the essence of his cologne wafting through your nose and felt so warm. He was like twice your size and it brought a swarm of butterflies throughout the pit of your tummy. “I missed you.” Admitting whilst wrapped in his arms and he’d return the sentiment. “I missed you too.” Just as you were greeting your acquaintance, the bartender would slide another glass across the marble countertop and you’d thank him once more. Your eyes couldn’t help but to be fixated on Eren though…tan skin glistening underneath the moonlight, he was dressed like everyone else on the boat in a two piece outfit that had his pecs and abs exposed. His chain sitting idly on his chest; diamonds flickering underneath all the lighting and when he’d flash you a smile, you’d see the bottom row of his teeth littered with matching grills. He was so insanely attractive and without effort!…

“And here I was thinking you’d withstand the heat of peer pressure and not show up. Looks like we both got dragged along, huh?” That deep, somewhat raspy voice rang in your ear as you watched him wave the bartender over. He’d asked for four shots of Casamigos and offered to cover the remainder of your tab as well.

“Mm, I guess you could say that. I had my own reasons for showing up.” Amidst your conversation, he’d slide a glass over to you as well. “Really? And what might that be?” “You’re a smart man, I’m sure you can figure it out.” The subtle gestures shared between you guys were teeming with tension. It was blatantly obvious that regardless of how much time had passed, you weren’t exactly on bad terms. In fact, you’d even chock it up to that old cliche about distance making the heart grow fonder. Not only that, with the physical attraction between you two was so utterly strong, it was impossible to just write that off. You’d chuckle amongst yourselves and clink those cups together before knocking back your first half of the set. The tingle of the liquor coursing through each of your veins…if you weren’t careful, you’d find yourselves in the same predicament..it was bad enough that your first little rendezvous almost ended up all over the internet. Even without his face in the camera, people were still speculating that the abrupt conclusion to your livestream was caused by your man..who didn’t exist! Shrugging his shoulders, Eren tossed back another and merely chuckled to himself. “Gonna take a wild guess and say it’s not the buffet downstairs.” Running a finger along the rim of your glass, (y/n) let out a soft giggle and licked the remnants of salt from it. You loved his sarcasm, even when others found it repulsive.

“No but the shrimp puffs? Good as hell.” “Listen, if you wanna go stuff your purse full, I’ll stand watch.” “Already ahead of you. Gotta get my money’s worth out this new Birkin somehow..” Assuring before turning to face him. He couldn’t help but to burst into laughter at your quick witted response to his joke. “Damn…my type of woman.” The two of you cackling before clicking the top of your glasses together. Honestly, there was no point in playing coy or acting like total strangers. Why even beat around the bush and pretend that he wasn’t on your mind? Kind of hard to ignore a man who ate your pussy to the point of literal tears! This little charade was kind of cute but futile nonetheless. You knew exactly what you came here looking for tonight and now that he had shown up, there was truly no need to stick around. Everything else seemed like background noise..mind numbing, useless chatter when he was around. So instead of wasting any more time, he’d usher the bartender over once more to give you guys one last round and a pretty hefty tip of fifty bucks for his troubles. With those drinks flowing and the liquor beginning to loosen you both up, you’d use the liquid courage for the purpose of getting your words out. Express those feelings and say what was weighing on you guys' chests' and addressing the obvious elephants in the room.

“Heard you’ve had a rough couple of weeks…hope you’ve been doing alright. I was thinking about you..” declaring in that raspy tone as he avoided direct eye contact, knowing you’d more than likely get his heart to flutter if he did so. Those innocent eyes, pouty lips and pretty face was his Achilles heel, truly! The same way his devilishly handsome looks caused a pang in the pit of your stomach. You could stare at him for days and never grow tired..it’s the same way you felt when you first saw him in that viral video, singing to his heart's content at the shoe store he was working at....in awe of him then as an adoring fan and in awe of him now, as a little something more. In regards to his statement, you’d merely laugh it off and toss back another shot. The circle of emotions you had gone through over the past few days was an understatement of how you truly felt. Grief, anger, sadness, confusion and finally, a bit of happiness. You weren’t trying to drudge them back up at the moment. Of course, seeing him contributed a bit to the joy.

“How sweet of you..but I’m okay now. Much better than I was at least.” Which was an understatement because just a few days ago, you were hurled over a toilet after drinking more than half your body weight. Needless to say, you refused to go back down that path. That was a relief to him, especially after getting a brief rundown of your ordeal. Out of respect or not wanting to ruin the mood, he’d refrain from mentioning it. Instead, he’d nod and tell you that he was glad you were doing better. Even looking you up and down when those subtle glances. But you couldn’t help but to feel the same..it was blatantly obvious that the dormant tension between you two hadn’t dissipated at all. Rather, it was only growing and soon, sparks would fly yet again.

“I could ask you the same thing though. I saw you all over Instagram..” The declaration caused immediate fluster from the rapper. His cheeks glowing bright red at the sheer thought of you seeing him in that state. Normally, he wouldn’t have given a shit how people perceived him but needless to say, you weren’t other people! He didn’t want you thinking less of him because of some dumb mishap. “Yeah, about that..it was nothing. Just another misunderstanding. Don’t worry about it. I’m sorry I hadn’t hit you up though. Guess I’ve been kinda busy.” But he’d be surprised to learn that you aligned with his decision just as much. Taking one more sip, you’d nod your head and listen to him tiptoeing around his explanation. Not that he had to explain a thing to you or anyone else. You would’ve liked to have thought that you had a rather keen sense of judgment when it came to reading others..that you could tell when someone was a good person or just pretending to be and although EJ came off as brash and nonchalant, you could tell that deep down, he was the former.

“Nah, you good. Hey, if somebody scratched up my new car, I would’ve blanked too. Don’t feel bad.” The words seemed to have put him in a far better headspace regarding his decisions. You weren’t judging him or turning away at the mention of it. But your next piece made him even more elated. “I know it can’t be fun having people in your face like that and they expect you not to react. Besides…I ain’t never seen somebody look fine as hell in their mugshot.” And something about having that encouragement from you made him feel all the more comfortable with his decision. Suddenly, a cheeky grin would appear across his face and he’d laugh a bit, thinking about how similar the two of you were. It was crazy, but he had never met anyone quite like the lovely (y/n).

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were flirting with me.” Joking once more and just like the first time, you met it with equal humor. “Perhaps. You’re kinda cute when you blush.” Becoming even more tickled by your praise…if it’s one thing he loved more about a woman than her physical appearance, it was her personality and you had a ton of it. He hated to admit it but a girl who could make him laugh could get him out of his clothes real quick! “Aye, you said you came with your girl, right? Did she ditch you or something?” Inquiring as if he couldn’t already make a pretty presumptive guess and figure out where she was. Holding your glass, you’d roll your eyes at the thought of your bestie getting cracked while she left you around a bunch of practical strangers. Thank goodness EJ had shown up, otherwise, you would’ve been looking mighty awkward. “If by ditch, you mean go hump on her man like a damn dog?..then absolutely.” “That quick, huh? Getting involved with that dumbass willingly can’t be good. She better be careful.” However, you’d beg to differ. You knew your best friend better than anyone so it made perfect sense that they were messing around. Still cradling that glass, (y/n) attempted to mask your laughter but it was of no use because you knew what she was capable of. He had nothing to worry about! “Save your well wishes. Haven’t met a man yet she hasn’t left crying. It’d be a miracle if your homeboy doesn’t end up in her jar of souls too.” The banter about your best friends sending you two into hysterics; laughing and cackling. Talking about how equally toxic they both were..it seemed that your energy should be focused elsewhere. Perhaps on your own little situationship..that’s when things would escalate a little further and a little more lecherous as well. “Shit..so do you run game on dudes like that too?” Posing the question as a means to tease you but you merely saw it as a way to get his blood rushing..in more ways than one. And to let him know what type of time you were on. “No baby, I don’t play with my food….I just devour it.” Alluding to your impeccable oral skills with the twirl of your tongue around the cherry that was resting in your martini. He was going to end up fucking you right there against that railing if you didn’t stop! That’s when Eren had to regroup and remember where he was at the moment.

“Well speaking of devour…you look amazing tonight.”

those jade eyes of his surveying your entire frame from head to toe, sending you into complete fluster. Not only was that alcohol starting to course its way through his system but he had done a little pregaming with a blunt shortly before arriving. The combination of being cross faded and seeing that milky white bikini against your beautiful brown skin, had him fighting off thoughts he shouldn’t have. Granted, he hadn’t been able to get you off of his mind since the first time you had sex. He was stuck for days afterwards, thinking about how amazing you felt and how he had never had a woman quite like you. How well you took him and everything. Little did he know, that was merely a teaser for what you could really do. Given the time and opportunity, you’d make sure he’d never wanna leave you alone. But his mind wasn’t the only one running wild with indecent thoughts because the second he came aboard deck, you had to stop yourself from pouncing on his ass! You’d never say so out loud but this man had been on your mind everyday since Houston. Even in the midst of your depression, you’d longed for him. Going as far to imagine him holding and comforting you during your difficult time. Also, what you neglected to tell him was that his mugshot, the one you referenced circulating Instagram had made you hot and incredibly bothered!…as bad as it was, you had never seen someone look so good in such a vulnerable state. Not only that, seeing him up close with those grills beaming from his mouth…it was unreal. It made you wonder what he’d look like with them on whilst eating your—

“You think so? Good enough to eat, huh?” “Good enough to get licked, sucked..whatever you want. Almost made me trip over my damn self when I saw you..” scooting closer as he doubled down on the sentiment. He was far past the point of being shy and he hoped you were as well. If he could truly be real…in all honesty, he was trying to end the evening with you fucking up his sheets. That pussy was the best he’d ever had and he most certainly wanted a second helping. Inching closer, the two of you slowly began bridging that distance between your bodies. “I think you’re just being nice.” Causing the sexual tension to rise even higher…anyone from the outside looking in would most certainly say the same. Including the bartender, who had been stealing glances at the two of you. Even he could see how madly infatuated EJ was. Taking his hand, you’d toy with his fingers and inevitably close the gap of space between you.

“....you sure that’s not just the liquor talking?” Sarcastically teasing him as you ran a long acrylic finger down the center of his chest. Those pouty lips breaking into yet another smirk when he glanced down at you; the gleam of those diamonds in his mouth refracting against the lights.. eliciting a full body shudder from you. But alas his response was exactly what you were hoping to hear. “Nah, that was from the heart..” and in that moment, EJ would wave you towards him with two fingers before whispering into your ear. The gravelly voice uttering the most lascivious of sentiments. Leaving you unable to mask or hide your reactions. Uttering every nasty thing he planned to do if you’d let him. All you could do was chew profusely at your bottom lip and try to feign your facial expressions with a hand cupped across your mouth. “That was the liquor talking.” There was no doubt of the type of time he was on and it would seem your clock was ticking just the same.

“EJ. Quit playing. You tryna’ get a bitch in trouble.”

“You should know by now that’s my favorite pastime.” Hitting you with a smug look before sipping his drink. Luckily, no one seemed to have heard you two at the moment. “Speaking of…you still got that limp or you good?” Besides, you’ve said and done far worse at this point. But that’s exactly why you wouldn’t leave him alone any time soon. Smacking your lips, (y/n) furrowed your brow while taking another sip of the liquor.. “..no, but I see you still have that slick ass mouth.” “Yeah. Better come shut me up then..” Subtly flicking his tongue in his drink to resemble that of his movements he used on you a couple weeks ago. If anyone would’ve spotted you guys, they would’ve sworn you were a couple..but you were having the time of your life, being flirtatious and having fun. No labels needed. Especially with a vibe like this. It just came naturally..

it was at that moment, you realized that this was your cue to bow out gracefully and get the hell up out of here. It was blatantly obvious what was on the forefront of both of your minds so you didn’t care to even talk to anyone else at the moment. The fact that he managed to slip by undetected by everyone else and bumped into you on his first encounter was nothing more than the universe intervening. He wasn’t about to wait around long enough for someone to come bothering him and delay his inevitable plans with you any longer. Or wind up in an awkward confrontation with people he had no interest in talking to at the moment. Not with you practically clinging to one another; your arms coiling his torso and his around your shoulders, he’d glance down once more and pose a question:

“So you trying to leave with me or what? I don’t really see a need to stick around here..what you think?” And of course, the answer was rather simple as well.

“..what took you so long to ask?” He needed no further explanation and after tipping the bartender once, thanking him for his service, EJ would extend his hand, guiding you out of your seat and following suit right after. The faithful attendant would toss him a wink; a signal among men that knew what was about to transpire. Tonight, however..you weren’t much in the mood to be docile or let him get the drop on you. Little did he know nor was he aware that you were about to give him a night he’d never forget..walking hand in hand with you trailing a couple steps ahead of him, you’d glance over your shoulder to tease him..only fueling that desire even more. “Don’t be staring at my ass now.” Only to be met with an expected, sarcastic retort, along with a smug grin. “Telling me not to look when you sat it on my face three weeks ago is crazy.” Immediately sending you into laughter. “Shut uppp.” It felt good to have amusement like this. However, the fun was only beginning! ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

page break and time skip bc I shall spare you all the unimportant details + I cannot be vexed to write them.

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thirty minutes and one long Uber ride later, (y/n) found yourself stepping foot over the threshold of the spacious mansion, owned and occupied by the man who had accompanied you tonight. A whopping seven thousand square foot home with seven rooms and six baths. It was huge..the kind you would’ve only ever seen on television as a kid. Yet here you were being invited in with open arms by this world famous, fine ass rapper. Nineteen year old (y/n) was somewhere screaming! Turning to you as he extended his jewelry flooded fingers, Eren reached out to pull you in so he could shut the door behind you both. You couldn’t stop gawking at how picturesque this place was!

“Don’t be shy, beautiful. You’re my guest.” Immediately tugging you towards his chest and swaddling you in an embrace. “I apprecIate the hospitality. You have a beautiful place here.” But in all truthfulness, there was only one area either of you were interested in at the moment and that was the bedroom. That much was apparent by the snide grins on both your faces as they met only a few inches apart. Your head was practically buried in his chest because of the stark height difference until he tilted it up by your chin. That pretty face was going to be the death of him..with another hand coiled around the small of your back, he’d hold you close; observing you for a moment.

“Well I’d be happy to give you a grand tour..” of course, there was the latter option and he was certain you’d choose it, seeing as how your hands were roaming all over his exposed chest. “But something tells me you’d rather wait.” Not to mention, the way you were teasing him through his shorts in the backseat of that car. Running your tongue along his earlobe and whispering in it how turned on you were. He knew you were freaky but this was a different side of you tonight..not that he was complaining whatsoever! How could he when this sexy ass woman was practically begging for the dick? Now, with no limitations or disturbances, he could do exactly that. So in a matter of seconds, EJ shoved his tongue into your mouth whilst gliding those hands lower down your frame until both palms were cusped around those thick asscheeks..only sheathed by the thin cover up tied around your waist. It didn’t take long at all for that intensity to kick back up. Initiating a series of sloppy kisses, he’d push his tongue farther in between your jaws until you were moaning into the pecks. Heavy traces of that liquor still prevalent on your breath. Those plush lips smacking against his own and his fingertips gripping the plumpness of your cheeks. Occasionally feeding you light spanks..he couldn’t recall the last time he’d felt up on a woman that drew forth such intense emotions from him. “Can’t believe it’s been three weeks..needed you so bad..” whimpering against his lips; gently rutting yourself in his grasp as your hands snaked up around the back of his neck. He couldn’t resist those sweet moans and those beautiful eyes gazing upon him full of lust. “Did you? You missed me, baby?” Questioning rhetorically with a faint smirk. Tapping at your bottom lip with his thumb. He could tell you were feigning and although he felt the same, he wanted to hear you say the fateful words. He wanted you to let him know exactly what you needed. Something about getting a woman addicted to him inflated his ego. “Yes..couldn’t stop thinking about you..” And you had no problem doing so..shuffling you to a nearby wall with his frame towering over your own, he'd bring a finger underneath your chin, drawing your faces to eye level. Your words slurring slightly and his reactions a little slow but you both were well aware of what you wanted and needed.

“Well tell me…what’s on your mind?..I’m all ears..” displaying those silver bottoms once more with a wide simper. If he stared at you any longer, you were afraid your knees would buckle. It was then that you’d feel those digits snaking from your backside all the way to the front of your torso..so casually slipping between the thin seat of that bikini. Immediately causing your breath to catch in the back of your throat. That’s when you’d whisper into his ear, whimpering about you needing him to fuck the shit out of you and how you were so wet at the moment.

“It’s like that then?”

“Been like that..”

hearing such a bold proclamation come from your mouth made him ready to pounce but he maintained restraint. He had his fair share of plans to do that already but first…more so than anything, he wanted you to keep talking. Keep telling him all the thoughts that plagued your mind when he wasn’t around. Slowly working those digits around, he’d let one slip inside of you and impale you on it, allowing you to ride it down to the knuckle. He couldn’t lie..he’d had a few hookups in his lifetime, specifically when he became famous and granted, they were good. A model here or some married singer or actress there who had no business at his show in the first place there..or even some fan who told him her boyfriend was out of town but she could keep a secret and he’d make sure she got her money’s worth if she were bad enough. Mainly done out of sheer boredom and to shut his friends up about how he needed to live a little more. But they were nothing like you..not one of them could ever think to hold a candle and that was exactly why he was doubling back. It’d be times that he’d find himself lying in bed; replaying the imagery of you underneath him, watching the recoil of your thick ass bouncing as he fed you backshots. Staring at your pretty face in missionary and watching you wet him up each time you came. He had to all but restrain himself from fucking you into the mattress because it felt so good!..not to mention when you managed to stall Niesha for the evening and there were no limitations. He had you all to himself that night and he took full advantage. The memories of you with your legs folded behind your head as he dicked you down. The visible imprint in your stomach and the sheath of cream smacking between his balls. Not to mention the way you squirted for him at will. Making and maintaining eye contact whilst he rubbed your clit. It was hands down, the best fuck session he’s ever experienced and had it not been a shame, he would’ve asked you to be his girl right there on the spot! That’s how stuck (y/n) had the infamous EJ..

but it wasn’t just the sexual aspect of it. It was your energy..he felt comfortable and safe around you, as weird as it may have seemed. The way you not only begged him but submitted yourself fully. Not in a fit of desperation in hopes of being with him. More or less telling him: ‘Imma give you this pussy, I trust you know what to do with it..’ He didn’t take you as the type to go run your mouth or try to ‘expose’ him if things ever went south either. He’d lurk in your comments and lives, where people were already speculating about you two. But you ignored every one of them. Your only words were ‘he’s one of my favorite artists. That’s it. Don’t talk about people and make up shit when they’re not here to defend themselves..’ followed by a block if they kept pushing it. It was no one’s business what the two of you did. Hence why he told all of his staff they were off for the weekend, for his boys not to come bothering him and his assistant to stay away..he had plans and they didn’t involve anyone else but you. Giving you one more sloppy kiss, Eren would slowly and reluctantly withdraw his fingers from inside of you and allow you to clean off your own flavor before ushering you over towards the foyer area. Out of courtesy and respect, he didn’t make you walk far but rather, showed you one of the many nifty little perks within his house..including the discreetly hidden elevator shaft near the staircase.

“Let’s go upstairs..I think we can work sum’ out.”

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gonna drop a lil song suggestion here while reading

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after making the short journey from the downstairs to the master bedroom, all bets were safe to be said off. Completely free for you to do as you pleased and he wasted no time in taking advantage of the empty nest. With the door shut and bolted behind you, he’d make haste in scooping you up and getting you out of those clothes entirely. Toiling with the strings of those swimsuit bottoms, he’d untie each side and let them fall to the floor beneath you. From there, his hands made place right back on your ass, roaming and caressing gently. He’d squeeze and smack the soft ample flesh..getting a good feel. Even marking them with a couple heavy handed smacks. “Damn, this shit’s so big..” mumbling as he nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck. Constantly smacking and admiring the supple flesh that was your rear. He loved the softness, the jiggle and the ripple effect that was drummed forth by his hands. You were both so intoxicated that every feeling and emotion coursing through your bodies were ten times more intense. Saying whatever comes to mind without a filter, rhyme or reason. Eventually, his lips would trail from your neck down to your collarbone with his hands roaming the rest of your frame. Just to really get him aroused, you’d bounce those cheeks on your lonesome and make them twerk in his grasp. “Fuck..” still in awe of how stacked you were. Your body was incredible and all natural to boot. He’d lost count of how many times he’d watch you shake it on Instagram and how mesmerized he was. Nothing against the girls that took the surgical route but your physique just hit different. Seeing the stretch marks across that ass and your thighs jiggling when you moved it had him salivating and ready to see it in action again. “You like it?” “Mhmmm..love it.” Muttering into your shoulder blade as his lips grazed the skin. His hands soon ran up the sides of your torso and to your breasts. By now, the two of you had shuffled over to the foot of his king size bed and he was teetering backwards as he felt you up. In one fell swoop, he’d cup your tits into his palms and squeeze gently once more.

“Can I take this off too?” “Of course..” Mumbling so sweetly against your lips. You loved that he asked for your consent but you all but begged him to remove that top before he’d place those perfect double D cups in his palms and flicked his tongue around those sensitive nipples. Meanwhile, you couldn’t just sit idle and complicit either..so instead, (y/n) trailed a hand down the center of his abdomen; your nails scaling that chiseled six pack until you reached the drawstring on his shorts. While he delicately pecked and licked on those little brown buds, you would take the liberty of stroking him through his boxers. The wide elastic band with ‘Dolce and Gabbana’ inscribed across the top being tugged down in the midst of your hand cradling his shaft. That entire lower half was stripped bare in less than a minute once you began playing with him. So much so, he lost concentration on the task he was focusing on and brought his mouth back up to meet your own; swishing your tongues around in a sloppy manner that ended with two half smirks and strings of saliva from you both. But not before you’d whisper a rather lecherous request against his lips…

“Lemme taste you, baby..”

and who was he to deny a pretty lady’s command? Falling back onto the foot of the bed, Eren wasted no time peeling off the remainder of his clothes, including the socks, slides and the button down shirt he had on. “Please, feel free..” His pants and boxers were already pooling at his ankles as you had removed them yourself. He’d take a seat and allow you to maneuver his body as you saw fit. Positioned on your knees, you’d run those nimble hands along his thighs; marked with scattered tattoos and flick your tongue around. You could spend hours admiring him..tracing your fingertips along the perimeter of his inner crevices, you’d slowly work your way up to his exposed shaft. Seeing it at this angle truly put into perspective just how big he was. Nine inches long, veiny but with ample girth and a puffy tip. Not to mention, it looked so pretty all trimmed around the base and glistening with precum. No wonder you were crying and making a mess last time. His dick was so fucking beautiful…meanwhile, he’d recline with his arms stretched backwards and a tiny quiver on his lip as he waited in anticipation at your next move. Suddenly, he’d feel and see that tongue run up the bottom side of that shaft before your first would enclose the top half. You’d slowly stroke from the tip up; getting it far more stimulated. You were about to show him the effect you had on the men who’d cross paths with you before. Although you could count them on one hand and only a few fingers, you knew they’d come running back if you told them. Rather than some toxic game of cat and mouse, you preferred to make them fall for you. Ensure that no matter what..or who they were with, you’d always be at the forefront of their minds. It wasn’t uncommon for an ex to be trying to spin the block whilst in a new relationship. Mad at their old girl for not fucking them the way you did, some broke ass nigga who never stood a chance to begin with or some spiteful rapper who could only hope you acknowledged him would throw shade in his new song..but you could care less. You only doubled back if they were worth the time. And so far..

“Damn… ‘s so big.”

he was the only one worth the trouble! Any man who could leave you stuck like that, could always get some pussy! Gliding your hand up the side of his shaft, (y/n) would carefully move his cock towards your mouth..providing a single lick around the tip; twirling your tongue in a circular pattern to get a feel..he didn’t say a word and rather, waited with bated breath to see how you did. If the sex in Houston was any indicator of how skilled you were in the bedroom, he might truly not be able to leave you alone. However, he couldn’t handle this teasing! Your fingertips grazed over his balls; tracing along the singular vein running across them as well as his shaft. Soon, your lips were cradling his tip and that tongue worked the top half. Instantly, he could feel just how wet your mouth was..pooling with saliva from his previous teasing. You were practically salivating for a chance to suck him dry. Finally taking a couple inches in, you’d gently suckle the tip and allow your mouth to become adjusted to his size. The first time, he didn’t even allow you to touch him because he was so adamant on getting your nuts first. Now, it was time to reciprocate.

“..shit…suck it just like that, baby. ” it wasn’t long before the words were spilling from his mouth in a whiny haze when those suctioning noises and sensations began to increase. Your mouth, hands and tongue..all working in perfect unison to please him. Your head was perfectly cradled in his lap, bobbing to make the rhythmic pace of your mouth. Your hand worked to create a counterclockwise rotation; your hands twisting one and and your lips shooting straight down. Eventually, slurping sounds would emit from you and long, trailed strings of spit were puddling down his shaft. It was blatantly obvious that your talents extended far beyond pole dancing.

still gently massaging that sack, (y/n) removed your other hand entirely from his length and replaced it with merely your mouth. Both palms eventually remained planted on his thighs for leverage. Two inches turned into five and five soon turned into nearly his entire dick residing down your throat. Eren would rake those beautiful locks of yours out of your face so that he had a better view. Those beautiful brown eyes fixated on him until they began to roll back from practically fucking your own face. You’d meet the strokes reminiscent of his; using this man to your leisure right now and he had no complaints! Choking, gagging and spitting all over his cock as if you were disrespecting it and he loved it! Reaching for your head, Eren finally found the strength to assist you..only after clawing his nails into the sheets for five minutes straight and gritting his teeth.

“Eat that fucking dick up, baby..C’mere.” Ushering you towards him with his fingers coiled to the back of your head and his lips drawing near. In a split second, he’d steal a rather passionate and sloppy barrage of kisses from you, despite your entire mouth and top half being drenched in saliva. He’d even spit into your mouth to help aid the effort..soon, his erection was soon lodged back into your mouth, muffling any noise that was coming out. You were an absolute mess of bodily fluids and sweat sheen. Your makeup begins to smear from how hard you had been going. You didn’t care about appearances or how nasty it looked..all you wanted was the satisfaction of seeing him lose his mind. “Don’t be shy, come on my face..” Which he was well on his way to doing when he felt your hand pumping and squeezing both balls and shaft. You’d blow bubbles of saliva and precum at you spat against his cock. From the smile on your face and the constant laughter, it was obvious that you were enjoying this just as much as he was. Of course, that could have also been attributed to being drunk as hell. You’d be met with the vibrations and trembling from his legs as you forced every inch of him to the back of your esophagus. You’d gag for a split moment, only to hold him in place and allow drool to pour down to his base. Allowing him to sandwich your head between his palms and buck his hips into your mouth. Meanwhile, you’d massage those swollen, full balls with the gentlest of hands; in hopes of working him into an orgasm. “Ohhh..my gosh—fuck! You’re so fucking nasty, I love it.”

but before you could drum up those inevitable strings of cum, Eren would halt you in your tracks and lift you from the floor.

“Fuck, baby..climb up here.”

mainly out of sheer desperation to not blow his load too quickly. With his chest heaving and hands trembling from the impending climax that he decided to hold off on, Eren hoisted you onto the bed and on top of him, but not before bringing you in for one more nasty kiss. This time, tugging you by the back of your hair. You were beaming from ear to ear…this was only the beginning of what awaited you two this weekend!

“Mmm..why’d you stop me? I was just having fun..” muttering with a deviant glare and soft giggles, (y/n) traced a fingertip down his chest and noticed the immediate shudder..you had truly worked him over and you had a feeling he was going to burst any second. However, he had other plans. Plans to edge both of you so that when you finally did fuck, it’d be even more intense. “Way too much fun. ‘Bout to make me nut..shit.” Laughing as you laid atop his body; being felt up by his sweating palms. A firm grip followed by a subtle slap to your asscheek..you’d trace your fingers momentarily across his chest. Marked by a plethora of tattoos and chiseled up. He was so sexy, it truly seemed unreal!..how’d you find yourself in bed with a man this fine? Snaking your tongue from between your lips, you’d run them down the prominent jugular vein protruding from the side of his neck, which sent an immediate shiver up his spine..next was his earlobe; subtly teasing around it as your hands canvassed his upper half. You could feel the immense pressure radiating throughout his body. Especially when that licking made its way down to those pieces. “ ‘M sorry..can’t help it..you just look so good..” You couldn’t help but to admire them..admire every line, every color..every square inch of his incredible physique. There had been many of times where you’ve watched his performances or gone to a show of his, only to see that he had taken his shirt off after a mosh pit got too insane or just drenched in sweat fron jumping around like a fucking madman. Either way, even from front row seats..it still didn’t do him justice! Eren truly was the essence of perfection. You couldn’t even stop yourself once you got started. And trust, that’s the last thing he wanted too. “I really…I really missed you..miss the way you fucked me..” drawing out in a slurred tone. Remnants of that alcohol are still fresh on your system. Your fingers scoured his sides whilst you straddled his waist and lips mulling over his body.. “..that dick was sooo good..never had anybody make me squirt before. Feels nice not having to use a toy to come.” Sending both of you into subtle laughter at the mention.

was this a byproduct of the liquor?..were you being so reckless at the mouth because of that or was it true? Did this man really give you life changing sex and you couldn’t let him go now? Regardless, he was loving the praise. Loving it and letting you pop all your shit. Lying there with a wide grin stretched across his face, Eren subtly gripped your ass again as you flicked your tongue across his artwork. “For real, baby? Glad I could be of service...” Laughing amid another whimper as your tongue grazed his nipple. One of his most sensitive areas. He had to admit that his sentiment was the same. That pussy was something serious. The grip, how wet you got and so tight, he barely pulled out before spilling his load. And that head he just got? You were lucky he had an ounce of shame and self control. Otherwise, you’d have his last name right now! The two of you would continue unveiling confessions and admitting all the perverse things you probably wouldn’t have sober. Eventually, neither of you could take this tension and decided to act on it. You’d adjust yourself to take the reins; preparing to ride him with a hand cradled around the shaft but he’d halt you before you could actually get it inside.

“Nah..turn around.”

demanding in a deep, gravely tone. His intention? To see that grip and asshole puckering whilst you rode him. He wanted to watch every movement, every reaction and flexing muscle while you took his cock. Making haste in doing so, you’d reverse your body to face towards the giant mirror and dresser he had placed adjacent to his mounted television. The fact that this huge room alone was just his bedroom was insane…he may not show it publicly but he enjoyed a rather lavish lifestyle. It was the goal honestly..nonetheless, you’d get yourself situated and take a seat down on his cock. Your smaller hand wrapped around his base as your flesh met. The two of you released loud whines, letting both of your loins become adjusted to the new sensation. “Ooh..fuck. ‘S so tight..goddamn.” Noting both the feeling and view of that plump ass swallowing him whole. You were so wet when you’d slid down that there was an initial ‘plop’ noise that caused a twitch from within your walls. “Go ahead, baby..fuck me. Show me you know what to do with it..”

and you had no problem following that order! With his hands folded behind his head, Eren prepared himself fully to be your toy at the moment. You could do as many tricks as you desired..he was yours to use. And in a matter of moments, you were taking your first thrust. You forgot just how big it was until you felt that initial stretch.. “..shit!..so big..” giggling and eliciting one from him as well. “You got it..” but regardless, you kept going..especially with his encouragement. And it didn’t take long before you were propelling yourself from the tip down to the hilt..slowly but surely becoming readjusted to his fullness. He was already erect..swollen to the brim from your previous foreplay and those balls heavy with his arousal; waiting to burst at any moment. Gathering your balance with your feet planted firm into the mattress and palms pressed to his thighs, (y/n) began to find your groove..slamming that ass up and down on his dick! It didn’t take long before a sheath of translucent liquid began to form between your laps. The sound erupted throughout the room..a chorus of moans and smacking noises between colliding skin. And the view was even better..at least from Eren’s side! Watching you find your rhythm was a beautiful thing because you’d bounce on it as if it were nothing. The grip of that tight cunt wrapping around him with each passing stroke. “Mmmph!…fuck meee..right there, yes..” you’d cry out in a high pitched whimper as that cock head made home in your sensitive core. Hitting it every single time you went down. You couldn’t be contained and he damn sure wasn’t going to stop you. Another bonus was that pretty little asshole flexing for him as well. The things he wanted to do with you would undoubtedly get him judged. But he was glad to know that you were equally nasty. Maybe things were going a little fast, maybe nothing would come out of this. Hell, he was no good for relationships anyways but you were way too fine to pass up on in any capacity. At this point, he didn’t know how he’d react if he saw you with another man and never in all twenty six years of his young life had he felt that way! You weren’t even dating or remotely close and he was acting the fool..

“Fuck, ride that dick. Matter ‘fact..spread that ass open..yeah, that’s it. Lemme see that pussy squeezing me.”

happily obliging with your long acrylics clawing across that supple flesh. He saw just how much of a vice grip that little hole had on him. He was already pulsating and throbbing so you better move quickly. Watching each of your movements in the mirror really boosted your ego and quite frankly, gassed your head up. Especially when he told you how pretty you looked riding him. Those perky titties popping out, drool seeping from your mouth down to that tummy and those expressions. “Yeah, just like that. Keep going, baby. Got my fucking shit so hard..swear this pussy too good..” Eventually, you’d one up yourself and transition into a split. You didn’t even miss a beat, slamming down on his balls. That coupled with the lit blunt that was previously burning from the nightstand..now pursed between his lips was nothing short of euphoria. The face of his AP flickering in the light as that hand crept back up to spank your cheeks. “Nnnghh..thank you, daddy. Wanna squirt on this fucking dick..come all over it.” A bold proclamation that wasn’t far out of reach by any means. Especially when you recoiled your legs and laid flat to really let that ass slam down on him!

your knees to either side of him and that juicy bottom bogging down on his cock. “Shit!—do it then, baby. Get your nut. Squirt on that dick—“ and like clockwork, his words did the trick. You’d shoot up as if you had sprang a leak and let that liquid pool all over his base, cock and swollen balls. You made an absolute mess and he was certain it wouldn’t be the last. “Fuuuck..that’s it. Wet it up, we’ll worry about the mess later.” Ensuring that the momentum wasn’t wasted, he’d let your ride out that orgasm for just a second or two before coiling his arms around the backs of your thick thighs and tugging you backwards until you were seated on his face. He didn’t want to waste a single drop and instead, immediately buried himself in between those cheeks. All you could elicit was a loud laugh, grinning from the constant stimulation. You could hear him smacking and kissing on your pretty pussy lips. “Ahhh—haaa..eat that pussy, baby..stick that tongue in it.” Prodding and flicking his tongue around that clit and he enjoyed every second. His arm circulated your waist and kept that ass reigned in; mashing it into his cheeks. Meanwhile, you’d add to his moans by cupping his member and tasting the remnants on his entire lower half. Both of you were unhinged; working hard to please one another.. seeing who’d tap out first for this round. Eren didn’t have much restraint left, especially with his nose buried deep into your essence. The wetness, the sweet smell..it was so delectable. “Spit in it—oh fuck..like that..”

doing so whilst you swallowed his dick whole. The two of you went back and forth, exchanging filthy commands and praises just alike. Only certain to end in inevitable climaxes for you both. He’d finish drumming out the remainder of your juices and you?

“F—fuck..wait, I’m com—aghhhhh! Fuck me, fuck yes!”

met with a stream of hot, white cum pooling into your mouth. The warmth filling your jaws and splattering down your chin. The sweet tasting remnants rested on your tongue for a moment before you’d gently squeeze his balls. That swollen mushroom tip was beaming bright red and oozing with pearlescent cream; twitching on its own accord. But you’d immediately be thrusted forward and positioned on your knees as Eren quickly mounted behind you. He was so riled up right now, he wasn’t responsible for how hard he was about to fuck you. In a split second, you found his hand clutching your throat and the other pulling your hair. His fingers twisted around those thirty something inches of pure Brazilian; toiling them around until he gently tugged you towards him. Meanwhile, (y/n) wiggled your way back against his pelvis, signaling that you were more than ready for round two. “Put it in yourself..” growling into your ear with such a sexy tone of voice, it nearly made your legs buckle. “You can have all this dick..” constantly taunting as you struggled to maneuver him back in. Mainly due to being inebriated..so when you didn’t move fast enough, he’d grasp the top of your shoulder blade and pull back until you were impaled on his cock yet again, being met with a ‘pop’. Releasing yet another breathy sigh, you’d beg for him to give you all he had and not be gentle about it either. You needed him to be rough, to let you know regardless of a status, he wasn’t coming up off of you for a while.

“Mmph..give it to me.”

arching your back and placing your hands on those round cheeks, spreading them apart for full access. Which he took full advantage of by letting a long trail deep down to your folds before he glided back in. It was like a blanket of warmth cradling him upon reentering. Needless to say, you had opened up quite nicely but a little more couldn’t hurt. “Whatever you want, baby...I got you..” pushing past the tip and the first couple of inches, he’d keep a firm hand on your waist and another on your neck..wasting little to no time before thrusting up into you at a more speedy pace. He figured he had sat idle long enough and now it was time to show you just how badly he had been missing you. It wasn’t long before he was pounding and impaling you with full force. The strokes weren’t terribly brutal but he ensured that you felt each one. The bed jolted underneath you as he thrashed you around. But the best part? Was how vocal he had gotten. It was something so attractive about a man who wasn’t afraid to moan, grunt and even verbalize how good it felt. And trust, he had no issue letting you know what was on his mind. “So fucking tight!..goddamn. Open that shit up, baby. Let me in it…it’s mine now, right? That’s what you said..c’mon, lemme hear you say that shit again..” “Yes! Stretch this pussy, daddy! It’s yours...” the constant smacking and pressing of dewy skin together filled the air. The two of you were a hot, sticky, intoxicated mess with plans to go until either of your bodies could move. “Love when you call me that, baby. Makes me wanna fuck you even more.” And even then, you’d only rest up to get right back to it. You wanted him for as long as possible..

“Shit!..you feel so good..creaming all over me. Fuck, ion wanna pull out, baby.”

the words slipped before he even realized it. It didn’t matter though..you two had well established the first time that you were well covered when it came to the contraceptive department. Not that you had any use for it until he came along, but you had a handy little IUD and the pill to ensure you were straight. At this point, anything was a go. Boundaries, consequences and even fallout from this..nothing mattered in that moment. Being with a man who made you feel alive again was all you needed. Especially when he’d pull you back to his chest, still drilling your little cunt and your upper half coiled into somewhat of a headlock.. “..come in this pussy..” “..yeah?..want me to nut in it? Swear, I’ll fill your pretty ass up.” “You heard what I said. Do it..” Whispering in a haze of passionate, sloppy kisses. Pressed face to face, skin to skin and no chance of being apart for the foreseeable future. That was at least for the next forty eight hours. Whatever was to follow and wherever the chips may lay…you were prepared for it all. Even the possibility of this turning into something a little more than just another one night stand..

as frightening as it was!..

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

from sundown to sunrise, the two of you made love in every position known to man. From some passionate missionary where he looked you in your eyes the entire time to being hoisted midair and propelled on his cock like a little fleshlight to even lying on your sides because you both were entirely too spent to move but still needed more. The entire ordeal ended when neither of you could take anymore and you collapsed in the sheets, covered in one another’s cum, sweat and tears. It was a mess but a beautiful one. One that neither of you had experienced in a long time, if ever for that matter! Going round after round with a person you could joke, laugh and be comfortable with. It felt great and needless to say, your friends would be proud of you both for finally loosening up and letting your hair down. You couldn’t lie, it was nice to wake up next to someone you didn’t feel anxious around. Even so, you couldn’t get too complicit..it wasn’t as if he was your man. Hell, even after fucking you like he was trying to make you his baby mama, it was important to be careful. At the end of the day, you didn’t know him as well as you wanted to. It was as if he were equally as guarded. Almost as if you were only seeing the sides of him that he wanted you to witness. That was the thing about EJ..even after all this time. A solid ten years or so in the game and no one really knew the true him. The man behind the dark imagery, the grim lyrics and beautiful sounds. As far as who he was outside of the music…your guess was as good as anyone else’s. You even thought back to the first night you met and he admitted that he suffered from social anxiety. Although it was obvious that was a secret he didn’t exactly go around divulging in everyone, there was still this sense that he wasn’t going to fully open himself up to you anytime soon.

“Now this is how I like waking up..”

“Mmm…I could say the same. Good morning.”

meanwhile, Eren was sharing similar convictions. As he found himself on top of you once more, sheets cradling your bodies and private areas meeting once more, along with his face nuzzled into your neck, he couldn’t help but to think about how fast this all was moving. Granted, he wasn’t helping the cause and maybe he hadn’t exercised the restraint he wanted to but now it was starting to hit him just how nonchalant he had been. Did he really want to keep this going? Did he really want to give you false hope that somehow you’d end up with him? He was no more fit to be in a relationship now than he was when he was younger. He didn’t for a reason..he couldn’t guarantee that he’d be able to give you what you were looking for past the physical aspect but even so….

what is it about you? I don’t get it..we’ve only known each other a month and some change and here I am losing my fucking mind…acting like I’ve never had pussy before. I’m tweaking. (Y/N), you’ve made me the happiest I’ve been in a long time and as much as I hate to admit it..I’m not like Armin. I actually give a damn about who I lay up with. I don’t want you to be just another body but I’m not ready. I’m not ready to have to answer somebody else. To have to worry about somebody else other than myself. Sounds fucking crazy considering that we’ve been fucking like animals since last night and I mean it when I say I don’t wanna come up off of you for nothing..but you deserve better, baby. That much I can be sure of. I’ll only end up hurting you, I just know it. Still…I can’t help it. I can’t help it when you look at me like that. The way you call just to ask about my day. When you tell me it’s all mine..the way you call me daddy..what the hell else am I supposed to do? Pretend I don’t feel shit? I hate it. I hate that you did this to me and if I were smart, I’d kick you out right now to avoid either of us getting hurt but ion want to quit you just yet. I want more. I’m a selfish asshole, I’ll be the first to admit it. So what do I say?…what else am I supposed to tell you besides…

just then, he’d find himself snapping from his trance when he began panting heavily; your fingers clawing into his arms with a look of pure ecstasy on your tired face. You had come for him once again and were begging him to ease up because your legs couldn’t stop shaking. “Sorry, baby..” cooing to you with a gentle hand on your cheek. Your eyes and energy told a story of pure desire..desire that burned brighter despite the distance between you two. “Don’t be..I don’t want you to stop. I don’t even wanna leave.” Maybe this was a little rushed, a little crazy but so was life itself. It was also entirely too short to sit and mull over decisions pertaining to your happiness! Why deny yourselves the joy of companionship when the attraction was obviously too strong to ignore? So with the reluctance diminishing by the second, EJ would gently cup your face in his palms and utter the words he swore to himself he never would and a question you never thought you’d hear from a man you had so long looked up to:

“Then go out with me. Let’s turn this into sum’. What do you say?”

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.─── ── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :

if you made it this far, thank you so much for reading! please check out some of my other stuff in the masterlist. Likes are appreciated but reblogs would mean the world and help me out a TON! Also, considering leaving a little something in the tip jar if you’re feeling extra generous! 🫶🏾

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[whatudowhennooneseesyou]

𝓢𝓸𝓯𝓽𝓽𝓸𝓫𝓮𝓻: 𝓟𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓮𝓹𝓱𝓸𝓷𝓮

Content Includes: Bang Chan x fem!inexperienced reader, daddy kink, edging, body worship, PRAISE, dirty talk, kissing, begging, oral (fem receiving), CORRUPTION KINK (HEAVY) and possessiveness

Word Count: 1.6 K

Bang Chan adored you. 

He adored your confidence, your upbeat personality and your humour. 

He observed the way you'd make your friends blush with your compliments and suggestive sense of humour. 

Bang Chan was completely fine in sharing this side of you with the world, even proud to be your side whilst you do so. 

Because the world would never completely see all of you, there was a dual nature and a vulnerable layer. 

That was for him and him alone. 

'Is there anything you'd like me to do?' 

Chan's thoughts were brought back to the present upon hearing your voice, your fingers tracing lines on his skin and cheeks flushed as he hovered over you. 

'Not right now baby' 

He gently brushed the hair back from your forehead, leaning down to press a gentle peck to your mouth, his hair brushing against yours as he stared directly into your eyes…filled with eagerness but slight nervousness. 

'Just lie back and let go for me, let me love on my babygirl and show you how special you are'. 

It was a truly romantic night with soft droplets of rain pattering outside the window and a soft, yellow-dimmed night light casting shadows on your face and panty-clad body. 

The kisses on your mouth were languid and relaxed, his tongue gently swiping your bottom lip and nipping the flesh lightly…he was purely embracing the moment, after all. 

The quiet, late night-early morning hours were HIS hours to love and care for you, when yesterday was the past but it’s still not quite tomorrow yet and he can just focus on your flushed cheeks and cute, pretty whines as he adores you with his heart, tongue, mouth, hands and cock. 

(I’m listening to Say Yes to Heaven (slowed+reverb) by Lana Del Ray and I’m legit tearing up right now…I youtube’d ‘sad but romantic’ playlist for inspiration…I love it.)

A soft hand cradled your jawline as warm and wet kisses were trailed down your neck, your body alight with need and Chan smiled into your skin at your quiet sighs and pants. 

‘That’s it baby, get worked up for me’ 

He hummed into your skin, his curly hair brushing against your chest as he buried his face between your breasts, closing his eyes as he inhaled your scent and momentarily basked in your warmth. 

‘No hiding from me okay? It’s just you and me right now’. 

Warmth spread between your thighs as you felt Chan lick and suck your nipples, releasing to place soft kisses on the plushy flesh before latching his mouth on your nipple again, his hums and groans reverberating through your chest and core. 

‘And I love that you’re shy for me’ 

You felt his kisses slide down your stomach and the anticipation of where his mouth would settle next was causing your pants to increase and chest rise in arousal, your body already shivering under his touch. 

‘And I’m the only one to touch you like this, to teach you things, to MAKE you feel like this’. 

His tongue licked over your crotch and it made you jolt, a surprised whine filling the air and fuck, maybe it was embarassing in how easily he could rile you up. 

And fuck, your whines and whimpers made Chan’s cock ache in his briefs every damn time. 

‘Channie…fuck’ 

You gasped out, running a hand through your hair as he focused on eating you out over the underwear, tensing the fabric over your clit and pushing the soaked material in between your folds. 

‘Mmm…keep talking to me baby, you can talk out loud with your friends…’ 

He teased between licks and swipes over your soaked panties as his hand anchored your hips to the bed. 

‘You can be loud with me right?’ 

Chan just wanted you to break apart for him, to see you tremble, to see you whimper and feel your heart and soul exposed under his hands. 

And by god, he would settle for teasing and taunting to have you beg for him to show you more pleasure, to show you more love, more care. 

And he would fucking enjoy it too. 

‘Please…Chris…it’s not enough….more’ 

He shook his head against your crotch, his curly hair tickling the skin of your thighs. 

‘You want me to eat you out for real baby, you gotta call me by the name I want’. 

Hunting eyes locked upon your shy ones and you could feel the power Chan had over in this moment, the power you LET him have and how small it made you feel. 

You loved every second of it. 

‘Da..’ You hesitated, mouth quivering in anticipation before speaking again. 

‘Please…eat me out for real…Dad..dy’ 

Your cheeks and chest were blushed scarlett with embarrassment and fuck, Chris’s patience was dwindling with how enticing and FREE you were under his touch. 

‘Good girl baby…see? That wasn’t hard now was it?’ He teased. 

Nimble fingers thumbed around the hem and your body responded promptly, goosebumps pimpling where his fingers were. 

The panties dropped to the floor and you were now fully nude under Chan’s gaze, who still had his briefs on-and it took A LOT of control to not stare at how hard he was- feeling a sense of pride rush to your chest. 

‘Wow-wow-wow’ 

Chris spoke as he gently spread your knees even further apart as he admired how WET you were with just a few licks and caressess. 

‘There’s always so much for Daddy to eat while you’re under me every time’. 

He peppered kisses up your left thigh and enjoyed how whiney you were getting before moving his attention to your right thigh. 

‘Pleasssee Daddy….this cum is all for you…right?’

You glanced up at him shyly and your torso became flushed from how shy you were, still testing the art of dirty talk and only now getting used to it. 

Chan’s eyes narrowed in eagerness from your remark and how polite you looked when you said it- a twinge of nerves hidden under all the talk. 

‘Mmm, and there’ll be even more once I’m finished for tonight baby’. 

His head disappeared between your legs as he lapped up your scent and tasted you on his tongue, murmuring out a deep groan of satisfaction as he worshipped you. 

He ate you out like a man starved, his hands anchoring your hips to the bed as he wrapped his plush lips around your clit, sucking it between his teeth before flicking underneath with his tongue….pulling away to breathe out ‘you’re doing so well’ before diving back in and repeating it again. 

You didn’t taste or smell like berries and peaches- Chan just loved the taste of YOU, your smell on his fingers, YOUR scent in his airways, YOUR cum on his tongue…the heat and stickiness a reminder of the pleasure he was giving you. 

He’d suck the anxiety out of you if he could, suck the shyness out and lick away the insecurity, push inside of you and fill you with his love. 

‘Your cunt’s dripping for me babygirl, are you going to let Daddy fill you now? You’ll let me take care of you?’ 

Your enthusiastic whines and pleas were enough for Chan to push his briefs down, step out of them and leave them on the floor as he helped shove a pillow under your hips. 

‘I’m ready…want to feel you-I’m okay’ 

You hoped your words of reassurance and the comforting swipes of your hands down the planes of his chest were enough for him. 

‘It’ll be like last time- just nice and gentle’. 

A final nod was exchanged, the air thick with desire as Chris reached for the base of his cock and your ankles locked around his hips. 

‘Fuck baby…hmm!’ Chris panted into your mouth as he eased his cock into you- inch by inch. 

‘S-so good, you’re so tight’

Both your bodies were trembling- but for different reasons. 

Yours from struggling to take him fully, your body not quite moulded to his size yet. 

He is struggling to fully hold back, his white knuckles gripping the sheets. 

A shaky breath filled the room as he bottomed out, Chris could feel his cock throb in your tight heat, his self-control holding on by a mere thread. 

‘I…D-daddy needs to move’ He panted out, voice caught in his throat and tight with strain. 

Your head moved quickly in consent, followed by small hums and moans- too overwhelmed and fucked-out to speak- if Chris could see by the glassiness of your eyes. 

A loving and heartfelt kiss was placed upon your mouth, his lips trailing to kiss your forehead whilst he adjusted himself above you. 

‘F-fuck baby’ He groaned out at the first slide, pulling almost all the way out before rocking back in again. 

Moments went by before he could feel your body relax, your brow less furrowed, your grip less tense and voice sounding less strained. 

‘You’re taking me so well my beautiful babygirl’ 

He kissed you sloppily, messily but it was filled with love and care as he slowly increased his pace, groaning at how your hands curled under his shoulders and your head tilted back on the pillow. 

‘This is just the beginning, once you’re used to me- I want you on top of me…I’ll mmm!’ 

Chris’s pace began to falter and he was going to hit his peak really- REALLY soon and he just so graciously NEEDED to express his care for you. 

‘I want you from behind- fuck, I’ll take you against the wall, it’ll be MY cock, MY hands and MY body showing you, making you scream and moan for me…if I’m the first- then i’ll be the last because you’re MINE now and you belong to me’. 

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[itgirl-111]

THEY ARE OBSESSED...

I am the blueprint. I am an ICON. I am perfect girlfriend/wife material and they know it. I am THE high value woman that's why they offer so much proposals to me. I get compliments on a daily basis. My face is perfection. My body is perfection. My skin is perfection. My personality is fucking amazing and unique. My vibe is one of a kind, they can never find a second me. One look at me and they are obsessed. I am naturally seductive, i embody love and seduction. I am the nation's dream girl. I have Aishwarya Rai's, Alexa demie, jung hoyeon, Zendaya, Madhuri Dixit's, Rihanna, Beyoncé, irene, wonyoung, Kim Jennie, Megan Fox, Gigi Hadid, Bella Hadid, Marilyn Monroe, jhene Aiko, Audrey Hepburn's charm combined( thanks itkuzome on yt for this) I am more than beautiful.

Anyone can be obsessed with me, they'd travel and cross mountains and oceans just to be with me that's how powerful My charm is. I just naturally give people butterflies, charming runs in my dna. Everywhere I go, i get all the attention. I attract them simps. My charm goes beyond any k-pop idol, anime character or kdrama, movie character. I am something they have never seen before, i am once in a fucking lifetime. Being with me is a fucking blessing so anyone would be lucky to have me it's natural. I embody the vibe of the weekend, chase atlantic, the nbhd, artic monkeys and all the slowed reverb aesthetic songs. Being with me is itself a high, nobody can ever get enough of me. I mean how can they? When I'm nothing like they've ever seen before, I'm out of this world. I am unforgettable, nothing like they've ever experienced before. I hold a special place in their hearts. I am a DREAM. I am the standard. They worship the ground i walk on, the respect and love everyone has for me is JUST perfect. They respect me , my culture, my religion, my ethnicity, my family, my gender, my sexuality and everything about me. I am treated like royalty, i get princess treatment all the time. Talking to me is a flex, standing next to me is a flex. Everyday is like a movie for me. I am better than y/n, I am literally living in a movie. Whenever i go out i get a hundred compliments and the pretty privelege i have is immense. I deserve nothing but the absolute best. I deserve unconditional love and happiness. I recieve a lot of positive attention from everyone as i am hot (obviously) and also bring good and positive vibes to everyone around me.

[srorgana1]

Carnal Secrets

Rock Star Kylo Ren x Reader/Knights of Ren

Warnings: Alcohol/Drug use, Sexual Preferences/Fetishes, Explicit Sexual Content

A fun and spicy one shot from the Into the Reverb Universe which can be found here and on A03. Lemme know if you like with a like or kudos. I hope you enjoy 🥰

A huge thanks to my beautiful friend and Beta @mrs-zimmerman for dealing with my crazy ideas ❤️❤️

Loud raucous laughter reverberate off the walls and floor to ceiling windows of the hotel suite as you exit your and Kylo’s bedroom. It felt so good to get out of your leather pants and heels, your feet sore and throbbing from dancing around for the last 3 hours. The whole group had tumbled into the suite after a fun night at the Horizons/Rogue/Bitter Harvest show, still hyped up and ready to continue the festivities.

You opt for a pair of sleep shorts and an over-sized KOR shirt. You tie up your hair in a top knot, your face squeaky clean and free of makeup. “C’mon YN! The beer is waiting!” Vic yells to you playfully. 

You roll your eyes as you see all of them lounging on the large sofa and adjacent chairs and loungers. The large coffee table in the middle is covered with various takeout boxes, beer and liquor bottles and the occasional finished roach. 

“Well it sounds like you started without me. You didn't eat all my poppers right?” you say with a smile as you settle in next to a relaxed semi-reclining Kylo. His arm wraps around your side, his thick tattooed fingers tracing light patterns across your covered skin. 

“No promises” he says with a wink, popping one of your mac and cheese bites into his mouth. You glare at him as Kylo sits up and grabs you a cold beer. “You bitch” you snark, taking a sip. “That he is” Poe retorts lazily, giggling to himself as he downs last of his beer.

“Oh fuck you man” Vic says with a laugh. His hair was still wild from the show, sticking up all over. He was still only wearing his hoodie on his upper half, his shirt lost to the madness of the pit. His hooded eyes and flushed cheeks are proof enough that he was already quite inebriated. You were happy to see everyone enjoying themselves, being able to let loose like this. It has far been too long.

Kylo settles back, pulling you closer. You snuggle into his warmth as he turns and kisses the top of your head. “Actually speaking of that” Poe says with a glint in his eye “how's your kinky little Drummer boy?” Vic blushes deeply, taking a swig of his beer. “Oh don't be bashful Viccy” he laughs “I heard you two enough last last tour. You two still into degradation and cock rings?”

Kylo chuckles along with a couple others, watching and enjoying the good hearted ribbing Poe was throwing at Vic. “Hey don't knock it ‘til you try it” Vic retorts with a smile “we just click you know, and it was hands down the best sex I have ever had.” 

Poe’s eyebrows dance playfully as he smiles. “No judging man, just don't peg you as into that.” “If you're so good at reading people Poe, then what’s my kink?” Cardo pipes up, a fresh jay in his hands. Poe smirk turns cunning as his hand rubs his chin like a super villain. 

“Okay, how about this. I’ll take a guess and if I call you out, you gotta drink” he says, eyes sparkling with mischief. “Oh fuck me” Kurak mumbles under his breath. You stuff the last mac and cheese bite into your mouth, nodding along with the others. 

“Okay…” he slurs, his wicked eyes scanning the room “first one will be easy. Tattoo kink.” Not surprisingly everyone takes a drink. Kylo’s hand moves to your tattooed thigh, squeezing it gently. He was over the moon when you finally got the piece you had been wanting. He helped Finn design it. It revved him up to worship your ink just as much as his did to you. 

You turn to him and give him a quick kiss on his neck, right on one of those beautiful tattooed lines. “Okay, something a bit harder than. How about BDSM?” Poe says with a smirk. “Oh fuck you man” Kurak exclaims loudly. Kylo barks out a loud laugh along with some of the others. You shift and look at him quizzically.

“Oh fuck I forgot about that, good call Poe” Kylo says, wiping the tears from his eyes. “Soo this fucker had never been to a BDSM club and naturally when Poe was in town, that’s where he wanted to go” Kylo says, giving a look between a snickering Poe and a red faced Kurak. You couldn’t tell if it was from embarrassment or the alcohol.  

“Hey, we all know Nyx is the best one within a hundred miles of here. If I’m in LA, I gotta get a fix” Poe says as he leans back on his plush chair. Kylo nods and continues. “So we go out, get trashed and head there and of course it’s a madhouse. Kurak could not stop staring at everything. We finally got to our seats in front of one of the female Doms during her performance. Let’s just say it was a once in a lifetime experience for him.”

A series of laughs bubble up, most loudly by Kurak. “You’re right bro, it was legit the hottest fucking thing I have ever experienced” Kurak says with a sigh “I even ended up buying a membership that very night.” “You did?! That’s hilarious! But fuck yeah I gotta agree with you there” Poe says “I would fucking sub for her and her counterpart any time, anywhere.”

You smile widely, laughing and enjoying the fun. It was good for them to be open with each other like this. The conversation continues as you finish your beer. You place the bottle onto the table and stand to grab another out of the bucket. You squeal when Kylo grabs your hips, pulling you roughly into his lap. He growls into your neck, leaving light kisses as he wraps his arms around you. 

“Fucking love birds I swear. But I think I’m definitely feeling there’s some size kinks around here” Poe says slyly, giving you a wink. You can hear and feel Kylo’s chest shake with his deep chuckle as he wraps around you more. Your eyes flutter shut, absolutely loving when he does this to you. Keeping you safe with his big body, making you feel so small and precious. You feel him nuzzle his nose into your pulse point, leaving a light kiss. “Safe to say that’s a yes” Cardo says dryly, finally lighting the jay and passing it to Vic. Vic shakes his head in agreement, taking a rip.

You open your eyes and promptly take a drink of your beer, feeling embarrassed at your immediate reaction to Kylo in front of everyone. He seems to notice as he keeps you close to him, whispering his love for you into your ear. You turn and give him a soft smile, silently thanking him for his support. 

Poe thankfully changes the subject. “You know what’s always a fav” Poe says, his words slurring more now “hair pulling”. “Fuck yes” you and Vic yell simultaneously, falling into hysterics. You clink your beer with him and take big drinks. You hear Kylo grumble his agreement into your neck. “Drink up Ky, we all know you love it. Her fingers are in your hair all the fucking time” Usher says, rubbing his bald head giving him a laugh.

The game continues on as everyone gets drunker, discussing a myriad of topics. Bondage. Masks. Piercings. Age gap. Breeding. Body parts. Leather. Different situations and scenarios. With lots of laughter and gentle teasing, you learn a lot about the people who you now consider your closest friends.  

Things like that Trudgen was currently dating a transgender female and that Cardo is into cougars and had dated someone twenty years his senior. Usher surprisingly revealed that he was hot for Rae when she was pregnant and low key wants to knock her up so he can see her pregnant again. 

You laugh, wondering in your inebriated mind if that would be happening sooner than later. You know how much Rae thinks of Usher. The man stepped up in place of Kurak and became an excellent father figure to Kayla. Yes, you can definitely see them eventually getting together and having lots and lots of babies.

A very drunk Poe stands and proudly announces he is happily bisexual and really enjoys genital piercings. It was then under some intense jabbing, Kylo warily divulges he used to have one. Poe wiggles his eyebrows playfully at him, saying he would rock it well. Kylo rolls his eyes and promptly shuts him up by throwing one of the pillows at him.

You turn to see Vic’s eyes on you, full of mirth. Fuck. “I’m thinking another thing around here is hands and breath play” he says coyly, passing the jay off. A chorus of responses happens at once. “Fuck yes” Trudgen growls “fucking love when they beg for it.” 

You can feel Kylo smirk where his head is leaning on yours. Your breath hitches when his large tatted hand wraps around your neck. You shiver when he squeezes lightly. “Damn Ky, you bold” Poe laughs, tipping his beer towards him. “Damn right and she loves it” he says lowly, kissing your temple as he releases you. You smirk as you rub your ass against his growing erection behind you, making him groan. 

“Yeah we get it you two are horny little fuck rabbits, don’t need to be rubbing it in us single people’s faces” Kurak says as he takes a bite of pizza. “Takes one to know one” Kylo murmurs, taking a sip of his beer. The group cackles at the sound of Kurak’s choked wheeze. 

You stay in Kylo’s lap for the rest of the night, the group becoming more and more intoxicated. The hype from the show begins to wear off, leaving you to doze off and on. You can tell he doesn’t mind, his fingers gently caressing your curves, lulling tou more to sleep. Around 4am Poe calls it, stumbling towards his room. As the others clean up some, Kylo kisses you awake as he hefts you into his arms. 

“Did you have fun baby girl?” he asks, giving you a soft kiss as he rounds the couch. You hum and nuzzle into him. “Kylo?” you murmur. “Yeah babe?” he responds as he shifts you in his arms so he can open the door. “What piercing did you have?” He stops and stares at you, a slow smirk forming on handsome face.

“Does my baby girl want me to get it redone so she can enjoy it?” he says lowly into your lips. You shrug, returning his light and teasing kisses. “Never experienced that before, could be interesting. But I definitely think you should'' you say, unable to hold in your drunken giggles. “Ugh damn it Y/N, you are legit going to kill me” he whines dramatically, shutting the door behind him.

Come enjoy the whole collection here

[shrinkthisviolet]

do you have any headcanons, old or new, for the kf!Barry possibility? i am so intrigued by it, fascinated even and i'm curious about your own takes, or what's the most interesting thing about it to you?

Ahh I love this question! It’s an idea I periodically get obsessed with from time to time, and I’ve talked a bit here about how I’d write it. And to expand:

I’ve never been a fan of Killer Frost’s split personality thing in the show, and it’s not comics accurate, so I’d probably do away with it. It’s just the general colder body temperature affecting his mind (chronic cold effects are terrifying, and that wouldn’t even be as bad as this, because this is inside him), not to mention his constant hunger for body heat to try to reach homeostasis (comics-based and…also, given biology, makes sense)

There’s a few different times I could give Barry powers, though I love the idea of them manifesting during s2 and him using them to defeat Zoom, freezing and shattering him to pieces

On the other hand, I also love the idea of them manifesting during s3, the way KF’s do in canon, maybe after he’s already met his frosty E2 doppelgänger. I doubt he’d team up with Savitar…unless Savitar was Iris and they became a genuine evil duo (not the leader-subordinate dynamic that Savitar and KF had in canon, but a true equal partnership)

He could also get powers in s1, and they start to affect his mind. He’s snappish, more irritable…and most of all, he doesn’t trust Eowells (especially if Iris is the Flash, and CSI Barry’s hero worship for Eowells is overridden by suspicion and worry…especially as he starts noticing more things off about Eowells)

And, to slip in a little Barrisco, I think KF!Barry and Reverb might’ve been the dynamic duo on E2. So KF!Barry on E1 might be very keen to recruit Cisco and replicate that…👀

Maybe he becomes an anti-hero like KF does in canon—still with villainous tendencies, but using them in service of the heroes (I do usually love that trope 💞)

I also have quite a few thoughts about “what if I wrote him in the Morgan AU as a spinoff AU” (4 additional headcanons for anyone interested in that):

He gets powers from the accelerator in s1, and they affect him as per the first headcanon outlined above. And, ofc, no split personality

He doesn’t fall into a coma, and instead, decides to use his powers to protect Central City. He doesn’t tell anyone—and if Iris is the Flash here, he ofc can’t tell her. While out on patrol one night, he meets a young hero who calls themself “Sentry”—definitely a kid or young adult, and definitely in need of guidance. Barry might not know how to be a hero, but he knows how to guide people. Probably (and their powers certainly make them useful…even if he’s horrified at that fleeting thought)

Barry and Morgan’s dynamic is thus pretty different. It’s less equal from the start, and it never really approaches that. Morgan looks up to him, and Barry…doesn’t quite look down on her, but as time passes, it gets close. Even as they become friends outside of their superhero identities, she’s still very much someone he needs to protect, not so much someone he can count on to protect him

He also notices some things are up with Eowells and Morgan. Some…not so great things. As time goes on, a picture starts to form in his head—abuse? Neglect specifically? Something. He’s only a CSI, he can’t investigate that…so he drops anonymous tips to CPS. Eowells gets out of all of them, and Morgan is visibly much more anxious after that, so Barry takes the hint and stops, but he’s still pissed that his effort was futile. But also…maybe it’s for the best. Where would Morgan go? Tina raised her for a little while but gave her back to Eowells, she can’t be trusted. (Maybe the only person he can trust for such a job is himself—and he should be horrified by the thought, but…he’s not)

send me an au and i’ll share 5+ headcanons about it!

Taglist (send an ask or DM to be added or removed):

@arrthurpendragon @ocappreciationtag @raith-way @vexic929 @ironverseocs @thechaoticfanartist @goldheartedchaoticdisaster @negative-speedforce @starstruckpurpledragon @angst-is-love-angst-is-life

[windvexer]

Hi, I would say I've been practicing witchcraft for over a few years. Obviously I still don't know much, haven't experienced much, having confusion with spirits at the moment.

What would you say to someone who's afraid of making mistakes and is always caught up in the details of preparing before hand with multiple back up plans and usually ends up severely panicking when confused or when a slight thing goes sideways?

I'm aware it's impossible to avoid making mistakes but dumb anxiety bird brain seems to think that it justifies avoiding it entirely and moving on, or desperately trying every other possible alternative when the real solution could be as simple as opening the window. What say you, Chicken?

I'd say,

what a lovely opportunity to explore this facet of yourself.

Perhaps presumptuous of me but I doubt that this tendency begins and ends for you at witchcraft.

It seems as if your natural inclinations create for you a complex spiderweb of ever-vibrating strands, and when the moment comes you have trouble knowing which line to walk down.

There is nothing wrong with that. Imagine having so many strands in a web! A lovely gift, perhaps. Maybe less so, if it seems that there are too many to navigate.

We all know the first answer is "get therapy," which is a boring answer because it's tantamount to "fix your anxiety," which yes, we all know that would be best. That being said:

Consider working with spirits which have a keen sense for navigation. Animal saints, we might call them, because that sounds cool. No need for two-way communication; veneration and asking for help will do. Helpful figures might include Salmon and Spider.

Reframe

When I was a kid I went to church, and churches are big on how to church, do you know what I mean? What the sermons should be like, what worship should be like, and so on.

Church first taught me about the art of performative spirituality. My first church was a really big one. The worship team had rehearsals with an AV guy. Coordinated choir outfits, a full band on stage. The reverb fades out and the pastor is ready with the first prayer. They practiced all week. It was a religious set - DJing the Holy Word.

Polished, smooth, pretty. And embarrassing when someone got it wrong. I still remember when the guitarist's sheet music was out of order. Thirty seconds of social agony up on stage while the bassist helped him figure out the order of songs. Awkward smiles from the rest of the band. The pastor politely folded his hands. Twenty years later I remember this - he messed up the performance.

At that time, I didn't know there was anything different. I don't mean that I didn't understand that there could be smaller bands, or no band. Or different kinds of sermons, or smaller stages - or no stage!

I mean that I didn't understand that worship could be nonperformative. I didn't know that there was a way to do it that wasn't about what was being presented.

Do you ever feel that watchful eye of judgement on you, anon? Are you ever the guitarist fumbling with sheet music, with three hundred souls politely waiting for you to get on with the show?

Their show, not yours - you are the performer.

Yes, I think many people feel this way when it comes to magic. I think many witches perform spells, and feel judged and watched when they fumble.

When I was still young - but a little older than when the guitarist had his music out of order - I heard some men of the church talking.

"When I grew up, all the churches were really slick. Not a second of time in-between the acts. You could tell they practiced. The first time I went to a worship group and the leader stopped to tune his guitar, I got whiplash."

I asked my dad what that meant. He explained to me that some worship groups are more casual, like a conversation instead of a show.

You'd think that such a little comment so many years ago wouldn't mean much. But now, to me, these words still ring true.

I get caught up in the performance of spell work, sometimes. I'm not alone, after all. I call the spirits. I'm the worship leader, really. I'm the bottleneck, the gatekeeper. The experience moves with me, though me. I've called you all here today -

Called them here for what?

Not for the intent of the spell. The decision that comes before that.

I've called them here for what?

So they can be an audience staring at me on stage? So I can display my practiced performance? So that they will get a show?

Or, have I called them to me to be my fellowship? To participate in a conversation? To whisper loving affirmations to each other as I stop to tune my guitar?

Have I invited them because my performance is worthless without them to observe it, or because my worship is enriched when they participate in it?

Sometimes I get befuddled. I work spells with a lot of content - things need to happen in a certain order. Too many thoughts hit my head at once, and for that I have one cure:

Whiplash.

I stop, and sit, and gather my thoughts. If I'm anxious about the spell, I tell them. If I don't know what to do next, I tell them. If it doesn't feel right, I tell them.

They didn't come because they're my audience. They came because they're my fellowship, my friends. My family.

And whiplash creates beautiful cracks in the performance for their love to seep through.

Reframing spells from performances to communication doesn't cure anxiety. But from time to time, I think it's worth challenging the foundational perspective upon which we have built our craft. Is witchcraft a series of actions, a mechanical toy which will go off the rails if you are not a perfect engineer? Or is it taking time to tune the guitar?

Each of us gets to decide.

[biggiedraws]

okay i saw someone who interpreted bo burnham's "all eyes on me" as being about his desire to return to performing, and found that i didnt agree at all. but i also found that i didn't know what the song is about, so i listened to it a few more times and compiled my thoughts.

cause like, first of all, he uses a LOT of religious language. its like he's leading a church service. and that COULD be my christian background talking, but: "get your hands up" "get out of your seats" "heads down, pray for me" "come on in, the water's fine" (that last one is a pretty normal turn of phrase but combined with the other stuff it really evokes baptism. at least in my opinion). and of course, the style of the song: slow, heavy on repetition, gradual build to a strong emotional resolution, HEAVY on reverb and layered vocals..... it legitimately sounds more like a worship song than the songs my mom sings at church.

and i think the core message of it is essentially "dont think about it, just follow me". especially with the bit about "you say the ocean's rising, like i give a shit" ending with "got it, good, now get inside"? and also stuff like "dont overthink this, look in my eye, dont be scared dont be shy" etc etc. its like its saying shhhhh just don't think about it. come with me, we'll stay inside and it'll be okay.

but there's also the rant in the middle about getting back to performing. to me it does NOT come across like "i want to get back to performing but i'm stuck inside", it sounds more like "i was SO CLOSE to being back to normal and now look where we are!" which is kind of the opposite of what the song is saying (everything is fine), but thats intentional! because like. he knows the message he's singing is bullshit. it's NOT okay. the world IS ending. you can tell that theres dissonance between himself and his pretend audience because of the laugh track that plays during that rant. things like panic attacks and the world shutting down are funny if theyre not your reality. but theyre still HIS reality, no matter how much he wants to pretend. theres also the way he gets kinda unhinged at the end, yelling at the listener to "get the FUCK UP!" and his manic little laugh. dont think about it, dont question it, because i know its not true, but if we acknowledge the truth, that makes it real. it's easier to just stay inside.

i could get WAY more into how this mirrors religion, but i feel like i've made my point and this post is already long enough. but its soooooo good, i LOVE the parallels and the way it strengthens the message of the song. idk how much of it was intentional but i'm obsessed with it.

anyway. i could be reading into it too much, but i feel like this interpretation really ties the whole show together. i'd love to hear any different perspectives!

also if youre wondering why i'm bo burnham posting in 2023.....

[kitkatt0430]

12 for the fandom ask game?

12.) What's the funniest or craziest AU idea you've ever come up with?

Hmm, I have written some weird ones, so I've got a few choices to pick from I think.

The Man in the Lightning certainly qualifies as a crazy AU idea - while it's based on the idea that Nora Allen was actually a terrible mother so Barry is grateful for her death, but the main push of the series thus far has been Barry seducing Eobard (successfully) and Eobard basically going from 'i can manipulate this situation' to being too flustered to have any idea what he's doing whatsoever.

Bringing Joy (Where There Was None) was a silly and fun AU to do, bringing together two characters who never even meet in canon and shipping them together. And can't forget Reverb's new minions/worshipers/employees at the Big Belly Burger. They were unexpected but delightful once I'd started writing them.

Gideon's Timeline is another silly and fun one, though it's got one part left I want to write. Gideon messing with Eobard from behind the scenes is always an entertaining thing to write.

There's more, but these are what came to mind first.

[birchbritches]

Pomegranate Loom

Shaping a pomegranate a bleb at a time, old balloons go wily, spin instigatory circles, spit pith like web indebted to its pitiful spider-worship. A supposed center with its vessels holding empty space eats each reverb, catches audible waves beyond your threshold and weaves each into an aril, has an anvilous heart you start to pin villainy to, spin tales in its opposition, were the necessary foil it toiled inevitably for and against, and the gainsaying gains steam, ramps up production, turns a hundred-thirty-something and sprouts another facet, gets more accurate as it grows.

[luuurien]

Alvvays - Blue Rev

(Noise Pop, Shoegaze, Dream Pop)

Replacing their cozy jangle pop with chugging distorted guitars and stormy basslines, Alvvays' first album in five years entirely reimagines what the band can be. Molly Rankin's voice as a songwriter is both more tender and impermeable, outlining a certain feeling that the rest of the band colors in with thrilling neon hues. Blue Rev is Alvvays at their most unlimited, and it allows every aspect of their music to burst at the seams with catharsis and meaning.

☆☆☆☆☆

For Molly Rankin, the worst part of a breakup isn't seeing your ex while you're out - it's running into their sister at the pharmacy and learning about their "new love glow"; the hardest part of a deteriorating relationship isn’t when you finally split, it’s the flash flood of memories from when you were fidgeting nervously in the car or staring down the bright red brake lights in front of you. These detours, these messy and undignified moments of emotional disaster, are what Blue Rev rejoices in: five years in the making, the album's fourteen songs borne out of everything from a basement flood that ruined almost all of their recording gear to border closes and the leave of core members Phil Macissac and Brian Murphy (now replaced by Abbey Blackwell on bass and Sheridan Riley on drums), the band's melancholy indie pop with an undercurrent of rippling shoegaze guitars and noisy production disrupted by the most chaotic time in the band's decade of existence - is it any wonder Alvvays embraced the storm? Even at its sweetest, Blue Rev's songs are captive in a storm of reverb and distortion, Rankin's soaring melodies miraculously cutting through the mix via Shawn Everett's meticulous production that balances noise pop bliss with some of the best songwriting in recent years. Like the candy-sweet cerulean vodka cooler of its namesake, Blue Rev is as lush as it is intoxicating. First of all, Blue Rev sounds absolutely marvelous. Working closely with aforementioned producer Shawn Everett, him and Alvvays' five members fine-tune all the little details that take these songs to the next level: the heavenly vocal harmonies peering through the walls of guitar in Belinda Says' chorus,  Tom Verlaine's delicate keyboards, the digital strings weaving a hypnotic layer of plastic elegance around Very Online Guy - Alvvays have always had a strong ear for how pop melodies interact with fast-paced indie pop, but Blue Rev pushes everything to the absolute max. As a band, they're as comfortable adding a little extra grit and glimmer to the Smiths jangle pop worshiper Pressed as they are emulating Lush with a synthpop kick on second-half highlight Velveteen, Riley holding down the fort as the band's new drummer with some of the strongest fills and loveliest grooves in the group's discography while Blackwell's bass playing adds a thick but unintrusive bottom layer to the mix - they might be new members of the team, but it sounds as if they could have been around since the start. Alvvays might be rushing toward you with flashy guitar work and deliriously catchy hooks, but no part of Blue Rev's kaleidoscopic indie rock cocktail ever feels rushed, the secret to their success in their ability to make the piercing guitars in the buildup to Easy On Your Own?'s second chorus or Pomeranian Spinster's surfy instrumentation thrown into a vat of Yo La Tengo's oiliest songs feel like they've been calculated to hit the center of every dopamine receptor you have. They might jump from Big Star-indebted power pop to Pixies' loud-quiet-loud formula to Teenage Fanclub jangle pop in the blink of an eye, but Alvvays' wanderlust is what makes Blue Rev such a gem of contemporary rock - they know chasing one single emotion with abandon will always yield lesser results than letting Rankin's heart go wherever it desires most. And though Blue Rev is as heavy an ear-blast as any of the more masculine bands they're surrounded by in the spheres of noise pop and shoegaze, Rankin's emotional intelligence is the leading reason the album is so much more than just some killer indie pop. She's previously mentioned memories of male audience members - who by and large tend to be more emotionless and cool headed in live shows of the rock variety - singing their hearts out to the most tender bits of Alvvays' discography (“I’ve seen several hundred men sing the words of ‘Not My Baby’ at a show... It’s nice that the world’s idea of rock is expanding"), and the richer sonic palette of Blue Rev means even more emotion and meaning is instilled into Rankin's every word. Her dense yet narratively vague writing style means she's able to latch onto a certain feeling without having to add unnecessary detail detracting from that core, songs like Many Mirrors and its ruminations on change and the ever-shifting nature of relationships ("And you’re got so much life to offer in you / Wild, out of the place, you called me") or Bored in Bristol and its heartbreaking optimism towards escaping the history of your past ("No one can stop me, Getting on thе last freight / I'm leaving in a fog") absolutely devastating as Rankin sings every syllable like it's the last chance she'll ever get to speak while Everett's production blows up the instrumentation at the perfect moment to match the contractions of her songwriting. Still, she knows when it's time to let loose while preserving her thoughtful nature, Pomeranian Spinster's punky rejection of tradition while wondering what would have happened if she'd kicked against things even sooner ("Had I just said something, if I wasn't polite / Stuck out my hand, grabbed it and ran") an unexpectedly sober moment in the album's peppiest tune, and Very Online Guy - whose focus on technology and social media I was expecting to be annoyingly on the nose like it often is  - utilizes the song's fuzzy retro production a la John Maus to poke at internet reply guys while picking at Rankin's own patterns of behavior ("The truth is I'm afraid of sudden change / But when you're close to me, does anyone notice?"). Like the rest of Alvvays' albums, Blue Rev's nuclear choruses and glossy instrumentation are paired with one of the loveliest songwriters today, and it's never sounded so meaningful and effortless at once. I'm not sure how much closer an album can get to perfection than Blue Rev. In less than 40 minutes, Alvvays delivers fourteen of the most well-written, passionately performed and expertly produced indie pop this year, never wasting a second and ensuring every moment is in constant pursuit of catharsis and connection for Rankin that ensnares your heart at the same time. I could keep going over and over just how much I love Blue Rev, but the album speaks for itself in every moment as the band ventures into new territory and makes their mark on it again and again, always themselves and able to harness an energy nobody else can match. Blue Rev makes the classic indie rock formula feel new and exciting again in a time where bands of Alvvays' style are all over the place, Rankin's whiplashing emotions pulling you into shoegaze bliss one second and heart-wrenching agony the next with a power and confidence you can't help but fall in love with. Alvvays have had a beast inside them since the beginning, and Blue Rev finally lets it take over completely - the results couldn't be any more astounding.

[rhpsdys]

ok here is the long-awaited post on bardic religion !! while this was constructed for urban fantasy, it works fine in any fantasy setting where religion isn't monotheistic... aka, it wasn't constructed for toh, but i am interested in exploring how it might fit in.

qhorhas, the god of music/storytelling is more of a patron — a deity with followers && practices ; one you pray to, but don't worship. while most of qhorhas' followers are bards, no one is excluded. however, the core tenets are center around the belief that qhorhas bestowed the ability to channel magic through music. while most magic-users who practice music-based magic are bards, anyone can learn it, && so anyone can be a follower of qhorhas.

qhorhas is most heavily associated with folk music && to a lesser degree classical/chamber music. in urban fantasy settings, other genres (like rock or rap or pop) aren't excluded from prayer && practice, && there are followers who do associate these genres with them, so it's not blasphemous, but it is less common, although it's being seen more && more among younger generations.

repetition, utilized in solo meditation (listening to music or practice), is central in all facets of qhorhas' following. folklore is built && developed because we tell stories over && over, the development of musical styles is an iterative process, && practicing art involves tons of repetition. repetitive movement is also used in some spiritual practices in "our" world to induce a transcendent or meditative state, so it stands to reason that the same could be applied here.

rather than formal places of worship, followers of qhorhas use their practical locations of their craft as sacred spaces for prayer && practice. think concert hall as cathedral, or a theatre as a temple, or even a small practice room as a makeshift area for individual reflection. these spaces’ relationship to acoustics—encouraging or restricting echoes and reverb—creates another form of repetition. the concert hall below the bardic library is the largest one, but many utilize practice rooms elsewhere in the library.

the sessions, either individual or structured, are quiet meditative time in the place of artistic practice, for reflection && mental && physical preparation. many rituals include practice with an instrument as well as either reading recorded folklore/mythology or listening to another storyteller recounting those stories. but there is an outreach aspect as well, which is sharing that music with other people (ie performance) as well as being a more public storyteller (think busking, with a story recitation accompanied by music), though the scope of how far one travels to spread these tales && inspire others varies from person to person. there are even some bards who ultimately end up becoming folk heroes in their own right, or even mythological figureheads — ones who ultimately end up with stories told about them, based on their deeds && accomplishments.

qhorhas is not a god who communicates through words or direct messages, but rather signs through sound ; a hum in the air, a whistle of the breeze, a wind chime or a timely bell toll, vibrations under feet, etc. all these signs are subject to interpretation, && the stronger relationship && rapport you build with them, the clearer these signs become.

the most dedicated followers of qhorhas eventually become leaders within their community ; they are the ones who have the most communication with qhorhas && are able to interpret signs with ease, as well as lead formalized gatherings. in many ways, they're more like public servants than religious leaders as we think of them, && are the ones spearheading outreach && the organization of public performance && education.

to utilize d&d language, since that's what this was originally created for, they will multiclass in cleric. i'll come up with terminology for the different rankings later, but the minimum level required to be a member of the "clergy" so to speak would be six — three levels in cleric, && three in bard. i would say 50% are in the college of creation, with about another 40% distributed between valor, eloquence, && spirits, && the remaining 10% are in other colleges, or in rare instances, not bards at all. the highest ranking have ten levels in cleric, meaning at the minimum level to achieve that rank is thirteen. i'm not sure if raine ultimately takes any levels in cleric... i think it's very likely, but that's something i need to think about more.

[ashilrak]

Perpollo for the playlist <3 Have fun! :D

This was too fun lol, also I'm editing it to add lyrics for funsies

ALL UP IN YOUR MIND - Beyonce

I try to get all up in your mind (all up in your mind) Is my love a crime 'cause I wanna make you mine? (You know you're mine) I try to get all up in your mind (yeah) I'll go and do the time if it means I'll make you mine (yeah)

Habibi - Tamino

If only I'd forget you after one last dance But you're everywhere, yes you are In every melody and in every little scar

We Have It All - Pim Stones

Hearts turn to dirt Along with the rest of your body It's all claimed by the earth It will fade and it will wither But gold, it will never And hey, baby, don't you know Diamonds are forever

Stalker's Tango - Autoheart

It's not that complicated No matter what they say You'll never meet another me

The Wolf - PHILDEL

You were sharp as a knife to get me You were a wolf in the night to fetch me, back The wishes I've made are too vicious to tell Everyone knows I am going to hell

Million Years Ago - Adele

I know I'm not the only one Who regrets the things they've done Sometimes I just feel it's only me Who can't stand the reflection that they see I wish I could live a little more

Achilles Heel - J. Maya

Kill this Achilles' heel I don't want to have to heal Now it's time to bring the choir Play your game and string the lyre Boy, I'm like Prometheus, finally taking back my fire

Moonsea - PHILDEL

Don't share the past, if you won't share your heart All that we share is the view of these stars

That Unwanted Animal - The Amazing Devil

Oh, and you rip my ribcage open and devour what's truly yours And our screaming joins in unison, I cry out to the Lord 'Cause if we join our hands in prayer enough To God, I imagine it all starts to sound like applause

Perseus [New Light EP] - Chris Linton

Mythical, so mystical, think what you like You could be the sword, the shield, Defender of The people down below You know I fought for love

Personal Jesus - Depeche Mode

Reach out, touch faith Your own personal Jesus Someone to hear your prayers Someone who cares

I Love You, Honeybear - Father John Misty

But don't ever doubt this, my steadfast conviction My love, you're the one I wanna watch the ship go down with

Killshot - Slowed + Reverb - Magdalena Bay

Can you make my heart stop Hit me with your kill shot baby

Blossoms - The Amazing Devil

Knowing every last one of them is painted in light As I make myself acquainted with the saint of never getting it right

A Kiss - THE DRIVER ERA

Don't give a fuck of what you say Apparently I've lost control To all my friends that told me so Just get out the way Because we don't want to behave Apparently you lost control You never really had before

Eros and Apollo - Studio Killers

Girls, with a boy like that it's serious Senoritas, don't follow him Soon, he will eat your hearts like cereals Sweet Lolitas, don't go You're still young

the fruits - Paris Paloma

My love, are you the devil? I would worship you instead of him I have no time for confession For I'm too busy committing sins My love, you're something special I've never met someone like you You'd make me fall from heaven But I know just what I do

One Way Or Another - Blondie

One way, or another, I'm gonna win ya I'm gonna get ya, get ya, get ya, get ya One way, or another, I'm gonna see ya

You Spin Me Round (Like A Record) - Dead or Alive

I set my sights on you (And no one else will do) And I, I've got to have my way now, baby

Something to Believe In - Young the Giant

It gets old when you talk to the sun And your tongue understood uh-no one

// 20 song playlist without including these artists

[transformationofmatter]

the Worship Machine is coming along!

still need to work out some problems with the spring tank reverb and then i can start recording renaissance sacred music! my plan is to do several two and three voice pieces from a variety of composers and probably publish it on bandcamp. some details about the setup below the cut

this is a three voice synth patch controlled via my keystep pro (not shown). when im actually recording, ableton will be the midi master and the keystep will act like a midi to cv interface.

each of the three voices uses a different technology: voice 1 (doboz vco340) is fully analog, voice 2 (mutable instruments braids) is fully digital, and voice 3 (soundmachines nanosynth) is 5v mixed digital/analog. all three are mixed in meatspace and then routed into my audio interface. there's also analog spring reverb, as mentioned above, but i havent implemented it fully yet.

the keystep is capable of outputting 3 cv channels per voice: gate, pitch, and a mod wheel value, which i'll use for dynamics.

other things of note in this patch: a sallen-key vcf from barton musical circuits is used on both voice 1 and 2, with one voice on the hp and and the other on the lp end. also the breadboard in the bottom left corner has a passive lp filter on it which im using as a slew limiter to create an extra cv envelope. the black box between my modular and the nanosynth in the foreground is my homemade mixer and utility module

[danielygo]

Worship team rehearsal tonight. Fender Japan 62 RI Jazzmaster into a Deluxe Reverb 😘 #iphone12 #jaszzmaster #worshipguitar #worshipguitarist #fender #deluxereverb (at Christian Bible Church of the Philippines Discipleship Center) https://www.instagram.com/p/CjsonSGpB2f/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=