#Richter Steele

[jolifleurbleu]

[tanlotts]

I made a Fallout Magazine for Rose and her Commonwealth boyfriends 💘

Imagine all of the gossip and drama that thing would actually have! Btwww Rose is my newest oc, I specially created her to do an enclave based character play though, so yeah, that’s why she’s into the baddies. It was so so so hard to play as en evil character!

[common-world-domination]

ok considering they have established that noct richters fire is both hot enough to melt metal and also hot enough to completely cremate someone into ash. i really hope next season he gets to like catch a sword between his hands and melt it. that would be cool.

ALSO consider that he can melt metal and annette can telekinetically manipulate metal. just me and the gf slinging red hot melted iron directly at you for funsies 💙

[xxladyballadxx]

Reunited

Richter Belmont x f! reader

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Summary: Richter never thought he would see his long lost childhood friend, (Y/n) (L/n). When they were both children, the two of them got separated during the invasion in London. An army of vampires attacked the city, the war tore the two apart from each other.

Nine years later, he bumped into someone he knew from his past...

Note: Nothing to do with the events from the story. This is something I unexpectedly came up with. If you don't like this, don't read it then.

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Richter scouted ahead with Maria and the revolutionary group, checking to see if there were any vampires to hunt down. They summoned their weapons when a band of vampires with a human girl ambushed them. A few children were being held captives by them. Richter and Maria wondered why they have that bruised human girl dressed in ruins with them, why her hands have been chained. Ashes of black and small pale bruises were noticed on her face. The commander of the vampire clan grasps one of the children roughly, the poor woman watches in horror as he swiftly places the blade close to the child’s neck threatening her if she doesn’t transform into her elemental goddess form. The woman had no energy to do so since she was in her weakened condition during her fight against people that she had been forced to kill. The prisoner had the chains off her hands, she grunted after being kicked in the back, her body slammed the ground. “Transform or else those children will die!”

(Y/n) coughed, her head held up. The vampire threw a rapier sword towards her, “If you can’t transform! Then you will have to fight them with steel!” 

And so in order to protect the children, she obeyed him. The girl slides her hand to reach the hilt of the rapier sword. She rises from the dirt, readying herself to fight the target, “Let my life come to an end…”

Richter crashes through the vampires and faces towards the girl. The prisoner twirls in the air and begins her attack on him. “Shit!” The Belmont evaded and dashed to the side. The two fought against each other as Maria and the revolutionary group focused on killing the vampires coming their way.

“No more….NO MORE!” The prisoner cried, switching from fire to using wind magic. She blasts the Belmont away and tries to pierce her sword through him.

Richter dodged, lashing his whip at her. “Ugh!” The girl grunted, elicited the hit from his whip. She shot the ice cold spikes aiming towards him. “Disappear!” The girl shouted, her voice hinting of pain. Richter could tell that she had been forced to do this, seeing the suffering in her sorrowful eyes.

 As the girl spun up in the air, striking towards him. Richter unsheathed his sword and blocked her attack quickly, their blades clicking together, “For fuck’s sake!” 

With his sword being pressed on by hers, Richter looked deeply into the girl’s face, her eyes and everything. Memories of his only childhood friend flooded in his mind. 

It was her…

It was (Y/n)….his long lost childhood friend.

Before Richter could call out to her, Maria summoned her magical glowing birds to move (Y/n) away in a distance. “Maria, wait! Don’t hurt her!” Richter sticks out his hand, giving her a sign to not harm (Y/n). Too late, Maria summoned her turtle close to (Y/n), knocking her out as she dropped to the grass , “Finally, I can be at peace…” she mumbled her final words as if she was about to die.  (Y/n) shut her eyes slowly, her consciousness fading after being hit by that summoned turtle.

“(Y/n)!” Richter dropped to his knees, carrying (Y/n) in his strong arms. Maria rushed off to see Richter holding the girl in her arms, “Richter, why are you-“ 

“I fucking told you not to hurt her!” Richter shouted, his hand caressing (Y/n)’s cheek. He was too focused on her. A single tear dropped down the girl’s face, her unconscious face tilted to the side. 

“Richter…” Maria walked closer to take a glance at (Y/n), “do you know this girl?” 

Richter embraced (Y/n) close to him, her head resting on his chest, “I do.” He stands up to carry her in his arms, his blue ocean eyes showing a spiral of sadness, “We were friends ever since childhood. She was the only friend I had since we were both children.” 

“You two seem pretty close…” Says Maria, feeling apologetic for harming the girl. The group came back with the children they saved, they asked Maria what to do with them since they have no one or nowhere to go to. The group were being told to take care of them for a while till they find them a home to go to. 

Richter held unconscious (Y/n) close, carrying her as he headed straight home with Maria, “(Y/n)...” he mumbled her name in a soft , sad-concerning face looking down at her. 

~~~~~𖤓~~~~~

After (Y/n) was saved by Richter and Maria, Tera laid her to rest in the extra room upstairs. Nursing her back to health, doing everything she can to wake up Richter’s dear lost friend. 

Richter couldn’t believe his own eyes after fighting (Y/n) without even realizing it was his dear friend from his past. When the vampires attacked London nine years ago, he assumed that (Y/n) was killed during the attack. 

How come she’s here? In France?

How did she survive?

Where did she get those strange powers from?

A few days have passed, (Y/n) hasn’t woken up yet. Richter checked up on her a few times, growing concerned for his childhood friend. He begged her to wake up. Her eyes remained closed.

One night, while Tera and Maria were sleeping, Richter headed off to the room where (Y/n) was resting, he pulled up a chair next to her and sat down. Just sitting there, watching an unmoving (Y/n) sleeping to the window. A moon shone through the glass pane, its radiant light shimmering on (Y/n)’s resting face.

Richter smiled softly, admiring how beautiful she is. Grown into a fine young lady. He reached his hand out to hers, his thumb rubbing her knuckles in gentle circles.

“Please wake up, (Y/n)...” he murmured, wanting her to open her eyes…

…Still her eyes stayed closed

~~~~~𖤓~~~~~

The very next day, Richter and Maria came back from the revolutionary meeting. Talking about a bunch of politics that bore the hell out of Richter while he sat by the tree, pretending like he was listening. 

Tera came rushing down the stairs, “Richter!” She called out his name, walking towards him as she began to tell him the good news, “Your dear friend, (Y/n)...she’s finally awake!”

Richter was clouded with shock after hearing this. Maria huffed in annoyance, giving him a smack on the back and yelled, “Well, what are you waiting for?! Go to her, you stupid fool!” 

“R-right!” Tera moved out of the way as Richter jogged upstairs, rushing off desperately just to finally see her. He swung open the door and saw a conscious (Y/n) sitting at the side of the bed, looking through the window. 

“(Y/n)?” Richter made her turn around when he said her name loud and clear. (Y/n) set her eyes on him, her face fell into shock, “R-Richter?!” She rose up, looking deeply into his blue eyes. (Y/n) took a moment to finally recognise him, a few drops of tears flowing into her eyes, “It’s you…it really is you!” 

Richter smiled softly, relieved to see his very dear friend, “It is. After nine years, I…I thought you were dead. (Y/n), I…” he lost the words to say to her after not seeing her for so long, assuming that she was killed by the vampires in London. 

“I thought I would never see you again, Richter…” (Y/n) sobbed tearfully, she never dreamt this day seeing him again. Richter pulled her into his arms, his hand placed on her head while the other on the back. 

“We will never lose each other again…as long as we stay together..”

||Here’s a second part to this!||

↳ To Love and To Cherish

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(A/n) - I really don't know whether to like this or not. I kinda rushed it. Well, hope you all like this though!

UNTIL NEXT TIME 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔

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[one-in-a-million-fishsticks-blog]

So, lately I've been reading my way through some really good Castlevania fics on A03, and I have to say that while there exists a delicious selection of fix-its....

There is a definitive lack of time-travel fics where the Nocturne-era crew get sent back to 1400s Wallachia.

Imagine the insanity of that scenario? Maria, Richter, Annette, and Juste have never known anything quite as bad as the full power of Dracula's wrath. Even Ezrebet Bathory couldn't hold a candle to carnage and destruction on that scale.

Alucard is just having an all around awful time for obvious reasons, and then you have Trevor and Sypha. Trevor is just doing Trevor, getting drunk and trying to forget his grief when WHABAM!... More Belmonts, two other random hunters, and a super old dhampir with depression. He is not emotionally prepared for any of that, and neither are the others.

Sypha is just doing Sypha, trying to save the world and looking for the right crew to help her out with that. She has no idea what her presence (and Trevor's) mean to Alucard, just that she's found her Hunter and Soldier.

Trevor is immediately both protective of his newly materialized relatives and standoffish with them. He of course has no idea that they've time-traveled or that he's their ancestor, so while he sees Richter as "just a kid" and innocent of any wrongdoing, he holds some resentment towards Juste because his perspective is basically "Why didn't this surviving elder of the Belmont clan come to try and help me when I was alone as a child? Did he genuinely not know that I was alive or did he just not care?"

Richter really wants to say something and set the record straight, but Juste finds it easier to be loathed than to try explaining, so he keeps Richter quiet.

Maria is still just mourning her mother and trying to recover, so she mostly does her own thing while occasionally spending some time practicing magic alongside Sypha and Annette.

Annette isn't sure how to feel about this whole clusterfuck, but she's pretty sure that she hates it, and she definitely hates having to watch as people undergo even greater suffering around her.

Alucard is crying in the corner, he's so fucking exhausted but can't tell anybody because he needs to be strong for "the kids," Oh..... And also this version of Trevor still hates anything and everything night related, even him, so showing weakness just gets him mocked.

And there's Dracula coming in from the left with a steel chair!!!!!!! 😮 🪑

[hunn1e-bunn1e]

First Act: Episode One

🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.

In which, [Name], the one and only son of Sakamaki Richter strives to make his dearest cousin's lives a living hell. Or; In which yearns for what can never be his own and will do just about anything to yank it within his reach.

First Act | Ep. One | Ep. Two

                                                                                                   

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"Father? They're Uncle Karlheinz's boys, aren't they?"  

A boy with steel-grey tresses that faded into a pale silver asks his father; his soft voice catching the older man's attention.

The boy was seated at a beautifully carved, dark wood dining table; his father on the opposite side. Atop the table sat a lovely white, silken tablecloth with lace edges; and atop that sat a beautiful porcelain tea set. Said set was from France, according to what his father had told him, a gift from some noble in a futile attempt to curry favor with him some time ago.

Under the glossy varnish finish was painted a breathtakingly intricate pattern in the color of glacial blue. The rims, handles, spouts, and flat bottoms of the set were dipped in gold that shimmered whenever the light caught it. A lovely piece indeed, but certainly not the boy's favorite by any means.

The amber liquid inside the cup was telling enough, It was Darjeeling. Tasteful but boring. 

Perfect.

The boy lifts his teacup to his lips; taking a quiet sip and taking in the taste as it rolls over his tongue. His large, round e/c eyes looked up at the man across from him expectantly; clawed fingers drummed gently on the table with impatience and curiosity that bubbled just under his pale skin.

"You are correct. Why do you ask, dearest [Name]?"  

The charcoal-blonde-haired man answered, turning his tired eyes from the book in hand toward his beloved son. 

[Name] smiled eerily, the corners of his mouth stretching so far it almost looked as if his face was split in two. He leaned forward, sitting the teacup gently onto its platter and leaning on his forearms.

"Can I play with them?"  

He asks cheerily in his saccharine voice, innocent eyes wide with hidden depravity.

The man's sharp burgundy eyes narrow at the steel-grey-headed child. He really is just like her, isn't he? The joy they got in tormenting others, the twisted grins and psychotic glint that hid just behind their eyes was so similar, sometimes far too similar. 

He closed his eyes; now is not the time. 

"I suppose you can. Don't break them, though. Karlheinz would have my head."  

The older man warns, picking up his teacup.

Ah... the tea is cold.

[Name] now sat in his favorite spot, a large tree overlooking the Sakamaki mansion. Far enough away from the structure to where he won't be noticed, yet close enough to observe. He sat on one of the thicker branches; choosing this one in particular after making sure it wouldn't snap under his body weight. The steelhead came here fairly often; every day. He would sit and wait and watch. A repeating cycle that he never grew bored of.

Out of all the ones he liked to watch, there were preferred ones by now. The eldest two's one-sided bickering was always a small threat, the triplets fighting over various objects in the residence was another endeavor, and then there was the youngest, Subaru. 

The snarling, hollering, wall punching, fight-instigating youngest child of the Sakamakis. With snow-white hair, dazzling sorrow-filled scarlet eyes with thick lashes overhanging them, and pale skin. A true figment of melancholic beauty. A white rose.

Subaru was by far his favorite. Definitely.

Poor, poor Subaru. [Name] always thought that he'd gotten it the worst. Inbred, scorned and ignored. All culminating in violent outbursts to keep himself afloat. The air of suffering just radiated off of him in waves and the vampiric boy found is simply intoxicating.

It was all just so funny. His cousin's suffering was all so fun to watch. It's not [Name]'s fault that his uncle was a child-abandoning whore of a man. He just so happened to stumble upon their residence on his nightly stroll and had some intense sadistic tendencies.

Just like her... just like—

A sudden light caught his eyes. A car? No, a taxi. The vehicle pulled in front of the rundown mansion and slowed to a halt.

The back right door opened after a few seconds and out stepped a girl. The light from the car bounced off her brown hair and lit up the side of her face, displaying her prominent scowl and narrowed almond eyes.

She walked around to the trunk and pulled out a few suitcases as it began to rain. The girl groaned in annoyance and dragged her luggage into the building, seemingly before anyone answered the door.

[Name]'s e/c eyes stare into the door intensely.

Just who was that girl? Surely not another child of Karlheinz's, right? Do they get a sister now too? That's so... unfair.

The wind blew violently through the trees, and [Name] disappeared with the sway of branches; a scowl on his face.

[Name] had always been the curious type. That was something Richter had known since the boy had been birthed. But now.... he couldn't help but be concerned about his only child.

When he was young, [Name] was so gentle and meek; a quiet and impressionable boy who kept to himself most time. Though, that may have to do with the fact that Richter kept his existence from everyone. Almost everyone.

[Name] was only ten years old when Richter introduced the two, but he didn't expect his son to grow so attached. The young boy liked her so much, that he had turned to his father and asked him, "Papa, is this my mother?". And the look of utter despair when he had to tell him no. That she was already wed with her children that she had with the boy's very uncle. [Name] looked so utterly defeated. His heart completely shattered into millions of tiny pieces.

The charcoal-blonde-haired man tried his absolute best to comfort his son. He should've known not to let them meet; [Name] never had a mother figure after all. He had a mother, yes. A beautiful vampire noblewoman of the family Lucifuge whom Richter had fallen head over heels in love with. One he had made sure not to introduce to Karlheinz for fear that she would be taken by his status as the king and his promiscuous ways.  

The two had a long-running fling, though it ended shortly after his love became pregnant and birthed their child. She had then informed him that she was promised to someone else, that the two would be wed the next year and he would certainly reject her if he had discovered that she had carried and bore the child of another man.

She rejected her newborn son, "If only he was never born, we could continue our forbidden union. But with pity, I shall grace him with a name.". That's what she said to him as she gathered all of the gifts of lavish gowns and glittering jewels that he had once so selflessly given her. "[Name]. That is what he shall be called." Were the last words she had ever uttered in their general direction.

Richter thought he would never love again, but he always was quite faint of heart and it continued to beat longingly as it hung on his sleeve.

There's something glittering in the trees...

A key....How interesting....

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🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.

Return to the Cathedral?

[smytherines]

for the choose violence ask game, 3 and 25

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

For me, its the "Owen was probably even worse before the fall" one. I disagree with it, but it's whatever, I don't hold any ill will towards them or anything we just have very different interpretations

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

I dunno if this is common necessarily, but I have seen it pop up a few times: that theorizing about what Owen's post-fall experience might have been like is creating a trauma for him that does not exist in canon

I think pretty much everyone in the fandom can agree that the fall was a very traumatic event for Curt, that it destroys his life and sense of self, that it devastates him mentally and emotionally. He's our protagonist, we can see the effect the fall had on him, so we're all in agreement that it fucked him up (understandably)

But there is sometimes a tendency in the fandom to minimize Owen's experience after the fall, or erase it entirely. Like people saying he faked his death (no he did not), or that he was totally fine after the fall and wanted revenge purely to be a petty bitch about nothing more than a bad breakup. And that's weird to me, because even strictly in canon what happened to Owen is at the very least equally traumatic for him. He falls far enough that it is reasonable for Curt to assume (with barely a glance) that Owen is either dead or dying, or that Curt simply does not have time to get to him, Curt leaves Owen for dead, then the building explodes. I think that alone, with no additional details, is enough to severely fuck a person up. At the very least on par with what Curt goes through in his four year grieving period

And the more detail you add in, the more the line "the horror of staying alive" makes sense. So if we include the Joey Richter tweets (which I think it's reasonable to at least discuss them, he is one of the co-writers) then it looks like Owen fell about two stories (so probably 20-30ft) onto what is presumably an iron or steel structure. That's automatically... many, many injuries. The most likely in a fall being broken bones, spiral cord injuries, and traumatic brain injuries. Plus probably burns because explosion. Then we have this:

So if we add in the possibility of Owen being captured by the Russians and bailed out/nursed to health (and "groomed"???) by Chimera, then things start to get a whole lot more horrifying

I think its very fair to debate the effects this sequence of events has on him and to what degree they explain and/or mitigate his actions, but in my opinion it is not reasonable to deny they happened at all. At the very least the baseline of "a fucked up thing happened and they are both profoundly fucked up by it" is the most accurate way to describe the canon events of the show

And then strictly on a personal level, thinking about what Owen's experience could have been like being severely injured in Russian custody and then being bailed out by Chimera, that's very interesting to me. I love picking apart characters, especially ones who -- in the real world, at least-- would be disabled. I'm personally very interested in how pain and injury and illness impact people, how isolation and heartbreak and being dependant on someone else for your survival can do some incredibly fucked up things to a person. Analysis is fun! And there absolutely is a canon traumatic event to analyze when it comes to Owen

[tightjeansjavi]

Burning in a Hopeless Dream

Part 16

“Four Hands Bloodied”

Joel Miller x f! o/c

gif by @riley-keoughs

A/N: the time has finally come for me to put this chapter out there. I took a break from Gwen and Joel after chapter 15 because it took a lot out of me to write it. This chapter actually might hurt more than the last and like I have said before, it doesn’t get any better from here. This entire chapter is all angst so if that isn’t your thing, please don’t read it. Thank you for being patient with me. ♡

~word count: 9.0k~

Summary: after Tess’s death, you, Joel, and Ellie make the trek to Bill and Franks.

Warnings: age gap, (o/c is in her early 30’s and Joel is in his 50’s) established relationship, angst, trauma, regret, guilt, anger, resentment, heartbreak, arguments, depictions of a panic attack, going into shock, two character deaths, (Bill and Frank’s suicide) PTSD, triggering themes that may be disturbing for some viewers. Implicit smut, no description as it’s all about Joel and Gwen’s feelings in the moment, brief mentions of alcohol, unprotected piv, emotions, cock warming but in the sense that they physically do not want to be apart from one another, sad sex is the easiest way to describe it. Some might find their coping mechanisms to be toxic, (+18) minors dni!

Songs for this chapter:

“Favorite Crime” by Olivia Rodrigo

“Long Long Time” by Linda Rondstadt

“take a moment to breathe” by normal the kid

“Eavesdrop” by The Civil Wars

“Same Old Same Old” by The Civil Wars

“White Lie” by the Civil Wars

“Flicker” by Niall Horan

“Wait” by M83

“On The Nature of Daylight” by Max Richter

“I Can’t Go On Without You” by KALEO

10 miles outside of the Boston QZ

The only visible light source was the oil lamp that sat between yours and Ellie’s sleeping bags. You had unwrapped the cloth from the teens arm before gently cleaning it with a rag doused in rubbing alcohol. Ellie didn’t even flinch as the chemical burned the fresh bite mark on her forearm. You were silent as you gently cleaned the wound. Your mind had completely gone numb. You had entirely shut down sans your aching heart. It ached for Tess. It ached for Bea. It ached for Ellie and it ached for Joel. That was the dangerous thing about loving someone. There would always be an inevitable pain that followed.

“Can you tell me about Bill and Frank?” Ellie had spoken through the thick silence. The soft glow from the oil lamp was casted on both yours and Ellie’s face.

“They’re our long time friends. Well, Joel and…Tess knew them longer than I have. Bill is the ultimate survivalist. He turned his mom’s house into an apocalypse bunker. He’s got security cameras, booby traps, and a giant steel fence that surrounds the town and his property. Bill and Frank are lovers, the unlikely kind. They’re pretty much the polar opposites of each other.” You spoke softly as you grabbed a fresh bandage from your backpack and gently wrapped Ellie’s arm.

“Bill sounds like a fucking badass. How did they end up meeting and falling in love?” Ellie asked, curiosity laced in her tone.

“Oh, he’s a badass alright. Huge grump as well but he reminds me of—” You paused, letting out a sigh as you gathered up your med supplies and tucked them back into your bag. “Frank fell into one of Bill’s many booby traps and the rest is history.”

Ellie could sense your discomfort as she quietly thanked you for tending to her arm. “Are you..okay? I know that’s a silly question to ask considering what happened, but..we can talk about it if you want?”

You dodged her question like it was the fucking plague. “Do you wanna see a picture of them? Well, all of us together actually. It was taken a couple summers ago.” You reached into your backpack once more, searching around till you found the Polaroid photo with the time stamp, June 21st, 2021

The edges of the photo were a bit worn but the colors stayed true. You could taste the warm summer breeze on your tongue. Joel’s laughter and Bill’s grumbling as Frank insisted on taking the photo. “So that pretty little thing is Tess’s girlfriend, Bea. She’s a spitfire. Then those two handsome chaps are Bill and Frank.” You pointed to the two older gentlemen. Frank was beaming in the photo while his lover looked as grumpy as ever.

The photo was taken midway through a game of monopoly. You were all huddled close around the table. The only person who wasn’t focused on the camera was your Joel. He was too busy looking at you.

Your fingers were trembling as you held the photo under the warm glow of the oil lamp. Your lower lip wobbled, but you refused to cry. You had shed more than enough tears that day and your body was spent.

“Gwen..” Ellie whispered, reaching out and gently placing her hand over your trembling one.

“Ellie, please. I can’t talk about this. I’m sorry.” You shakily whispered as you looked up at the teen with glassy eyes.

“Well, it’s a beautiful photo. You all look super happy in it. Well, except for Bill. He looks like one grumpy ass motherfucker. Must have been a fun day, huh?” Ellie spoke softly as she didn’t want to upset you anymore than you already were.

“Oh, it was a super fun day. The happiest that any of us ever were. It was like..this moment outside of reality, where the apocalypse didn’t exist, and we were all just living our lives.”

“That’s beautiful.”

The top of the oil lamp made a low hissing sound from a stray raindrop that had landed on the warm metal. Soft patter of raindrops began to fall between the gaps in the trees. One had landed on Ellie’s nose and she let out a soft sound of annoyance, scrunching her nose up from the intrusion before she threw the hood of her jacket over her head.

“Listen, Ellie. I know why you stood up for me earlier, but..don’t feel like you need to do that alright? Especially when Joel—”

Ellie shook her head as she stuffed her hands into her jacket pockets to keep them warm. “Gwen, I wasn’t just gonna sit there and let him talk to you like that. He was just fucking beating on you the whole time. That wasn’t okay. You know that right?”

You let out a sigh, rubbing your fingers against your temples before you glanced over your shoulder. At the far edge of the camp, you could barely make out Joel’s form laying on his sleeping bag. His back was facing you and he had his gun clutched tightly to his chest.

“I know it wasn’t okay what he did. Look, I just don’t want him thinking that just because he’s going through something, that he just gets to take it out on you now too. I know how to handle him, and I promise you, he won’t ever speak to you that way again. Not while I’m still breathing.”

Ellie nodded as she tucked herself into her sleeping bag and used the light from the oil lamp to read her shitty puns book titled, No Pun Intended: Volume Too

At the far end of the makeshift campsite, Joel was lying on his side. His back was facing you and Ellie far in the distance. He was clutching his rifle to his chest, finger hovering the trigger. It had been hours since Tess had died. Hours since he said the unforgivable to you. Hours since his entire fucking world was turned upside down. He felt lost. Hopeless. Broken. Out of ideas. Most importantly, he was angry at himself. Furious for allowing himself to treat you so cruelly. He knew that apologizing to you would leave him fruitless. His words would mean nothing to you because the damage was already inflicted. Part of him was surprised that you hadn’t left. He couldn’t blame you if you did end up leaving. If he put himself in your shoes, he would be doing the same thing. So what does a man such as himself do now? How does one move forward? How does one forgive themselves for inflicting cruelty on the ones they love the most?

Joel felt the tears prick the corner of his eyes as he quickly blinked them away. He didn’t deserve to cry. Not after what he had done. His heart clenched in on itself when he pictured the way your face fell. The tears streaming down your cheeks. The pain swirling behind your warm irises as you shakily held the barrel of your gun deep into the cavern of his chest.

Joel squeezed his eyes shut tight. Wishing that the images would dissipate from his broken mind. He couldn’t stand it. Knowing that you were yards away from him, hurting and he couldn’t do a goddamn thing to fix it.

Pathetic.

He listened to the whistling of the wind twisting through the trees above. The leaves fluttered. The crickets and forest life sang their songs, but Joel’s mind did not stop reeling. He forced himself to try and get some form of sleep. Even if it was just 20 minutes. Despite everything that happened, he would be damned if he wasn’t alert enough to keep you and Ellie safe through the night.

Just as his mind began to relax and the overall exhaustion had his eyes drooping, he heard a voice whispering through the trees. His ears began to ring and his mind felt fuzzy. The sounds of the forest were muffled by the ringing in his ears. Then, everything went silent. A brief moment of relief, and then he heard her voice again.

Sarah.

Dad. What happened? Dad..I'm sorry about Tess. She’s sorry things ended the way they did. Dad, I know you’re hurting. I know you’re angry, but you hurt Gwen so bad. Why did you do that?

Joel felt the guilt swirl deep in his gut. He was conscious enough to know that he really wasn’t hearing his dead daughter's voice. It was just his mind playing tricks on him. She wasn’t really speaking to him but god, did it fucking hurt to hear his baby girl disappointed in him.

“I’m so sorry baby girl. I know I shouldn’t have treated her that way. I was just so upset, and angry at myself for not bein’ able to protect Tess. I failed her and I know Gwen was only tryin’ to comfort me. I needed her and I pushed her away. I’m so sorry.”

You need her more than ever now. You can’t lose her. Promise me you won’t lose her Dad. You have to show her that you’re better than that. Please. I love you, and I know you’ll do the right thing.

“I promise you that I won’t lose her. I can’t lose her. I love you, and I miss you so fucking much baby girl. Daddy loves you so much.” Joel whispered through the darkness.

I love you.

Joel felt his body cave in on itself, silent sobs wrecked through him as he trembled along the sleeping bag. His grip around the rifle tightened as he tried to bring himself back down to earth. It was too much. Everything was too fucking much. He wished that you were there, holding him, singing to him, comforting him. He desperately yearned for your warm embrace, despite being aware that he didn’t deserve it. Sarah was right, Joel needed you more than ever now.

“Hey kiddo? Try and get some sleep, okay? I’m going to take the first watch. We’re gonna be on the road early tomorrow morning. I promise I'll keep you safe Ellie. No matter what.” You were slowly rising from the forest floor with your gun tucked safely in the holster around your hips.

The teenager looked up at you from her puns book as she slowly nodded. Her eyes were searching yours. You could tell she was looking for comfort, for reassurance that everything was going to be okay. “Thank you, Gwen.” She whispered.

You gave her a small reassuring nod before you stepped over your sleeping bag. You didn’t want to speak to Joel at all. You would have much rather avoided it at all costs. You promised this kid that you would keep her safe and in order to do that, you’d have to bury your hurt feelings, and ego for her sake.

Your approach was quiet, and you could already feel the tears pricking your eyes as you drew near his broad frame curled up on his sleeping bag. You swallowed the lump growing in your throat as you stood over him.

“Joel.”

You heard him take a shuddered inhale as he turned his head over his shoulder, looking up at you. Even in the darkness, you could see the glassy look in his deep pools of brown. Your heart tugged in your chest towards him, but you refused to give in.

“Gwen.” Was all he could muster out.

“I’m taking the first watch. Get some sleep and I'll wake you up when it’s your turn.” You averted making eye contact with him at all and looked off to the side.

“Are you sure?..I can take the first watch—” you cut him off before he could continue.

“No, Joel. It’s fine. Just get some sleep.” You were already turning on your heel to walk away when you felt his warm palm encage around your wrist, ceasing your movements.

“Gwen, I know that you’re upset, you have every right to be—”

“Fucking let go of my wrist right now Joel. Let go of me.” You hissed under your breath as you moved to tug your wrist from his grasp.

“Gwen, please. I can’t—” he pleaded with you.

“Can’t what? Can’t lose me? You can’t lose something that was never yours Joel.” The words rolled bitterly off your tongue. You couldn’t help it. He had hurt you so bad and all you could do was lash out.

“Don’t go fuckin’ sayin’ somethin’ like that when you know it ain’t true.” He harshly whispered, feeling his own bitterness begin to seep through his already broken heart.

“It’s not true? What makes it not true? If you know what’s good for you, you’ll let me go right fucking now.”

“It ain’t true because I know you’re angry, you’re upset, and you’re hurt, but you don’t actually feel that way..you don’t. I know you don’t.” His grip loosened just enough for you to pull your wrist free.

“Don’t you dare fucking tell me how I feel, Joel. Don’t you dare.” You were seething at this point, blinking away the tears that were threatening to spill over. You gave him one last harsh look before you were quickly retreating from him.

Joel let his hand drop to the forest floor, gripping the grass between his fingers. He tore up grass and dirt beneath his palms. His fingernails caked in dirt as he tore up more of the grassy earth. He watched you walk away from him and did nothing about it. You needed more time, that was all. He tried to convince himself that you’d forgive him eventually. That you still loved him. He knew he was being selfish for allowing his thoughts to focus on your feelings towards him. Had he really learned nothing?

Of course you still loved him. Of course you fucking did and the worst part? There was nothing you could do to stop it. Joel was far too deeply entangled in your soul for you to not love him. You were doing this for Ellie. You weren’t doing this for him, or yourself, you were doing this for the 14 year old girl that wasn’t even sure if she would live to see another day.

It was sometime in the middle of the night when you had gone to wake up Joel so he could take the second watch. You kicked his boot hard with your own, startling him awake but you didn’t care. As soon as he was sitting up with his rifle at the ready, you were already walking back to your sleeping bag and climbing into its confines.

Joel had let out a grumble sigh as he slowly rose from his sleeping bag. He reloaded his rifle effortlessly before he was quietly walking past yours and Ellie’s sleeping bags. He stopped briefly as he glanced down at your curled up form under the confines of the sleeping bag. He let his eyes gaze over to Ellie’s before he walked away. He was standing close enough to both of your sleeping bags to shield you if needed. Now that he was forced awake, his mind had the free rein to tear him up even more than he had already felt.

Ellie was the first to wake up while Joel was still on watch. She slowly sat up from the warm confines of her sleeping bag. She hadn’t noticed Joel at first as she was still in a sleepy state and her body was still waking up. She rubbed the eye crusties away with a yawn as she stretched her arms above her head. There was a slight chill in the fresh morning air and she was immediately reaching for her jacket to block out the chill. She zoned in on the sound of a twig snapping and her head snapped towards where the noise was emitting from. She let out a visible sigh of relief when she realized it was just Joel. “Morning.” She mumbled quietly as she stood up.

Joel let out a deep sigh, his jaw clenching as he looked over at the teenager. “Mornin.’” He mumbled back.

Ellie hesitantly walked towards him as she slipped her jacket on and shoved her hands in the worn pockets for extra warmth. She glanced towards your sleeping bag where you were still fast asleep. “Should we wake her up?”

“No.” He shook his head. “She’s been through enough. We’ll just let her sleep a little longer. It’s the least I can do for her. Are..you hungry?”

Ellie was tugging on a loose thread inside her jacket pocket absentmindedly. She looked over at Joel and gave him a slight nod. “Yeah, I am.”

Joel reached into his own jacket pocket and pulled out the last ration of his jerky and held it out to her. “Here. You can have what’s left of mine.” This was his own way of extending the figurative olive branch to her.

Ellie looked at Joel wearily. She wasn’t necessarily his biggest fan at the moment but would hating this man she barely knew, really do any good? You and Joel were the only sense of security she had now. She trusted you, but Joel? Not nearly as much. Nonetheless, she reached her hand out and grabbed the wrapped jerky. “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

Joel knew he was going to have to say more than that to get through to Ellie. He was going to have to try a lot harder than that.

“Listen..” He hesitated. “I know that yesterday was a lot. I know you were only tryin’ to help and stick up for Gwen, and i’m sorry for the way that I spoke to ya. You’re just a kid, and I shouldn’t have said the things I did Ellie.”

Ellie had torn off a small piece of jerky before quietly chewing it. She refused to make eye contact with him and reverted to staring off in the distance. “I don’t believe you.”

When Joel didn’t respond, Ellie took this opportunity to tell him how she really felt. “Look, I'm sorry that Tess died. I’m sorry that you weren’t able to protect her. I’m sure you wanted to throw the blame on me, right? You needed a truck battery and no one made you take me. You made the choice, but that doesn’t mean you get to blame me, or Gwen for the outcome of your choice. So don’t stand there and fucking sugar coat anything to me Joel.”

Joel was not expecting this kind of response from Ellie at all but he knew she was right. He couldn’t blame her or you for what happened to Tess. No one deserved to take the blame for her death. He knew he shouldn’t blame himself either, but he did. He was still angry at himself for not being able to do more.

“You’re right. I don’t get to blame you or Gwen for my choices. Neither of you are to blame for Tess’s death. Look, all I'm askin’ is that you try and look past all that. Gwen and I can keep you safe, but it ain’t gonna work if we’re not all on the same page. You get what I'm sayin’?”

Ellie snorted under her breath at his response. “Sure. Right. Well, I don’t really have much of a choice now do I? I’m unfortunately stuck with you. Good luck getting her back man. Pretty sure its gonna take a fuckin’ miracle for her to ever forgive you.”

“Will you help me?”

“Why the hell would I do that?” Ellie quipped back.

“Cause if you wanna stay alive, and make it to the fireflies, you’re gonna need both of us to get you there.”

Ellie thought for a moment on her follow up answer. She could have the upperhand on this situation if she really wanted to.

“Fine. My one condition is that I get a gun too.”

Joel scoffed at her request and immediately shook his head. “Absolutely fuckin’ not. I ain’t givin’ a 14 year old a gun.”

Ellie shrugged with a faux sigh of disappointment. “Well, guess we don’t have a deal.”

“I’ll teach you to shoot, but you ain’t gettin’ a gun, kid.”

“Deal.” Ellie said with a small grin on her face.

You had awoken from your dreamless slumber shortly after Joel and Ellie had come to their own agreement. You were already rolling up your sleeping bag, and packing your bag. You had said good morning to Ellie, but the only acknowledgment you gave to Joel’s existence was a slight nod of your head in his direction. At least soon you would be reunited with Frank, and one of his warm bear hugs. You couldn’t wait to see him, and well..Bill too of course.

The sun was high in the sky now as the three of you walked a route that was familiar to you and Joel. You and Ellie had taken a couple detours to rescue a few butterflies. Joel couldn’t help but watch you as you carefully guided a monarch butterfly onto your finger, and placed it on a nearby milkweed plant. He saw the softness in your face, and the lightness in your eyes for a brief moment before it was gone again.

The next critters you and Ellie found were two garden snakes. Neither one of you were fearful of the creatures as you gently picked the snake up. The creature wrapped itself around your wrist lightly as you lightly stroked the top of its small scaly head. It was a nice moment that you and the teenager were able to share together. You both set the snakes down in a grassy patch and watched them slither away.

Joel took no part in any of it, but you could feel his gaze burning into the side of your face constantly.

You were telling Ellie more stories of Bill and Frank as the hike continued. Joel had found himself stopped in his tracks when he saw a purple butterfly land along your shoulder. Its wings slowly opened as it was soaking in the warmth of the sunlight. You hadn’t noticed the delicate creature using your shoulder as a perch to sunbathe on. Joel remembered the first time you and him saw a purple butterfly land on his nose two summers ago at Bill and Franks. He immediately knew it was his daughter then, and his daughter now.

His eyes stayed locked on the delicate creature as he walked close behind you. The butterfly stayed on your shoulder for a few minutes longer before fluttering away. His eyes followed the creature till he could see it no more.

“How’d you get that scar on your head?” Ellie asked, tearing him from his thoughts suddenly.

When he didn’t immediately respond, Ellie kept pressing.

“What? Is it something lame? Like you fell down the stairs or something?” She couldn’t help but be a little curious.

“I didn’t fall down any stairs, kid.”

“Okay..so what happened then?”

“Someone shot at me and missed.” He grumbled.

“See, that’s so fuckin’ cool. You shoot back?” Ellie was looking up at him now.

“Yeah.”

“Wicked. You get him?”

“No. I missed, too. It happens more often than you think.” Joel’s eyes locked on yours momentarily as you glanced over your shoulder at the pair. His and your expressions were unreadable.

“‘Cause you suck at shooting or, like in general you mean?”

“In general.” His response was gruff and he hoped to god she didn’t ask him anything else about it.

As soon as he saw her opening her mouth again, he cut her off before she could ask him another question.

“You ask a lot of goddamn questions, you know that kid?”

“Yes, I do.” Ellie responded with a cheshire cat grin.

The three of you stopped at Cumberland Farms. It was the gas station that you, Joel, and Tess would stash ammo and supplies when you were short on gear.

Ellie immediately zoned in on an old arcade game that was covered in dust in debris. She had a childlike excitement in her eyes as she started pressing all the buttons. “No way! You ever play this one? I had a friend who knew everything about this game. There’s this one character named Mileena who takes off her mask and she has monster teeth, and then she swallows you whole and barfs out your bones!” It was clear to you that the teenager was reliving a fond memory just based on her excitement. It was nice to see that the apocalypse hadn’t killed her spirit entirely.

“Ah. Oh, man. You forgot where you put your stuff.” Ellie spoke observantly as Joel was looking for the loose floorboard where the extra ammo was stashed.

“What? No. I’m just zeroin’ in on it is all. It’s been a couple years.” He grumbled.

“He doesn’t remember.” You whispered to the teenager before walking down the aisle where you knew the ammo was stashed. You had to kick some debris and other crap off of it before you got down on your knees and started to lift the floorboards. Joel had come alongside you, crouching besides you as he helped you lift the boards. Your hands brushed momentarily but you ignored him entirely as you pulled out a couple guns, packs of food, and bullet cartridges.

“Okay, well, i’m gonna take a look around, see if there’s anything good.” Ellie’s voice was distant as she was already walking towards the back of the store.

“Trust me, it’s all been picked over already.” Joel responded as he grabbed the carton of bullet cartridges from you to reload his gun.

“Maaaybe, Maybe not. Is there anything bad in here?” Ellie asked.

“Just you.” He gruffly spoke.

“Ah. Getting funnier.” You already picture Ellie’s little grin as you were reloading your own gun.

“Are you going to talk to me at all?” Joel was looking at you now. He was trying to gauge exactly where your head was at that moment and you knew it.

“There’s nothing to talk about, Joel.” You finished loading your gun before grabbing the bags of canned food and stuffed it into your backpack.

“Bullshit.”

“Can you just respect the fact that I don’t want to fucking talk to you? Stop trying to pressure me. If I wanted to talk to you then I would, but I don’t. So leave me alone.” You lowly whispered as you stood up.

“You can’t push me away forever. We have to talk eventually, Gwen.”

“I sure as hell can fucking try and push you away for as long as I see fit.” You zipped up your bag in a haste, swinging it over your shoulder.

Neither of you could hear Ellie at this point as you were both too caught up in your own emotions.

“Ellie?”

No response.

You and Joel both had your guns at the ready as you walked towards the back of the store.

“Ellie?” You and Joel called her name again. She was only gone for a few minutes. What the hell could have happened in that amount of time.

“Picked over, my ass.” The teen gleefully was holding up a box of tampons in her hand as you turned the corner.

“Don’t go fuckin’ scarin’ us like that.” Joel had lowered his gun at his side.

“Yeah, okay. Sorry.” She mumbled sheepishly.

After reloading on ammo, the three of you were back on the trail. You knew that you were nearing Bill and Franks based on the scenery. The plane wreck up along the farside of the hill, and the graves that lay ahead.

“Holy shit. You fly in one of those before Joel?” Ellie asked.

Joel glanced towards the wreckage he had seen about a dozen or so times now. “Yeah, a few times, sure. It ain’t all cracked up to what you think it is. Gettin’ shoved in a middle seat, next to either some stuffy guy, or an annoyin’ kid. Pay 12 bucks for a damn sandwich.”

“Dude, you got to go up in the sky!”

Joel sighed, adjusting the strap of his rifle on his shoulder. “Yeah, well, so did they.” He grimly responded.

“So, everything came crashing down in one day?” She was still looking towards the plane wreck. It was hard for her to look away. So many lives on that singular plane were lost. It was haunting to think about.

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“Okay..but how? I mean…no one was infected with the Cordyceps, everybody’s fine, eating in restaurants and flying in planes. Then, all at once? How the hell did it even start? Cause if you have to be bit to get infected, who bit the first person? Was it a monkey? I bet it was a monkey.”

Joel scoffed under his breath, shaking his head slightly in her direction. “It wasn’t a monkey. Didn’t you go to school? I’d think they would explain this shit to you.”

“FEDRA school. They didn’t teach us shit on how their shitty government failed to prevent a pandemic.”

Joel took a deep breath, a shaky inhale. He really did not want to be having this conversation right now, but he couldn’t fault Ellie on her natural curiosity. She was just a kid after all.

“Well, no one really knows for sure, but, best guess I got..Cordyceps mutated. Thinkin’ some of it got into the food supply. Probably a basic ingredient that everyone uses. Like flour, or sugar. There were certain brands of food that were sold everywhere, all across the country, across the world. Bread, cereal…pancake mix. So, you eat enough of it, it’ll get you infected. So the tainted food hits all the store shelves around the same time, Thursday. People bought it, ate some Thursday night, or Friday morning. Day goes on..they started gettin’ sick. By the afternoon, evenin’, they got worse. Then they started bitin’. Friday night, September 26, 2003. By Monday, everything was gone.

Silence fell between Joel and Ellie, and you could tell that Joel’s mind was reeling now. You weren’t looking back at him, but you just had a feeling that he was picking at his cuticles to distract himself. You weren’t there to hold his hand.

Once you were nearing the gravesite, Joel had gently grabbed Ellie’s forearm to hold her back. “Hang on just a minute, kid. I don’t want you goin’ up there. We’re gonna cut through the woods.”

Ellie looked up at him before her gaze fell on you. “Wait, isn’t the road easier?”

“Yeah, it’s just…There’s stuff up there that you shouldn’t see.” Joel was honest. He remembered the first time you saw the gravesite. Your reaction was the same as Tess’s but it hurt him 10x more to see you sob for the innocent lives taken.

“Well, now I have to see. It can’t be that bad, right?”

“Ellie. I don’t want you too. I’m tryin’ to protect you. I’m serious.” Joel was stern with his tone. He really did not want her seeing those kinds of horrors.

“Can it hurt me?”

“No. That ain’t the point though. I don’t want you seein’ it.” He let out a defeated sigh when the teen had slipped her wrist from his grasp and was already walking ahead.

“You’re too honest, man. Should’ve said it was an axe murderer or something. Michael Meyers, Freddy Krueger, Jason. That would have scared me, maybe.” She had come to a sudden stop when she stumbled upon the gravesite. “Uh…whatever it was…think it’s gone.” She looked over her shoulder at you and Joel.

“About a week after Outbreak Day, soldiers…went through the countryside, evacuated the small towns. Said you were goin’ to a QZ, and you were…if there was room. If there wasn’t…”

You were standing alongside him now, fingers twitching at your side. It was taking all the willpower you had left to not reach out and grab his hand.

“These people weren’t sick?”

“No, probably not.” Joel turned his head slightly to look at you. His eyes casted down to your hand, he watched your fingers twitch and he ever so slightly extended his hand towards you hesitantly.

“Why kill them? Why didn’t they just leave ‘em be?” Ellie looked between the two of you.

You finally met his gaze when he had outstretched his hand in your direction. Your hand did not move towards him. It stayed planted to your side.

“Dead people can’t be infected.” Joel somberly responded.

It was late afternoon when the three of you arrived at Bill and Frank's compound. Joel typed the code into the keypad and watched the metal fence creak open. As you neared their quaint home, you immediately sensed something was wrong. The flowers in the front of the white picket fence were wilted, dried up, dead. Frank never let his flowers wilt. He never would abandon them. He loved each and every one of his plants–oh god.

Joel was already reaching for your arm on instinct to hold you back. He knew whatever laid behind that door was not good. He wanted to protect you from it, shield you from the truth that laid within. He couldn’t because you were too quick, too determined as you slipped your wrist out of his grasp and ran up the steps. Your gun was drawn as you pushed open the door quietly.

“Bill?..”

“Frank?..”

“Oh god, please. No. No. No. Bill?! Frank?!” You observed the front entryway that you had passed through so many times. You saw the flies buzzing on the dining room table. There were two plates of rotting food. For how long? You were unsure, but based on the flies, it had to have been days, weeks even.

They could not be dead. Not your Frank. He was not dead. You desperately tried to convince yourself as you frantically called their names, over and over again.

“BILL?!

“FRANK?!” Your voice cracked as you neared their bedroom door, your hand was grasped around the handle but before you could push open the door, Joel was grabbing you, his arms were around your waist protectively and that's all you needed to finally break down and sob. They were dead. Your friends were fucking dead behind that door.

“GET THE FUCK OFF ME! GET OFF OF ME JOEL!” You let out a wail as you turned around in his arms and frantically pushed and punched his chest. “GET OFF OF ME!”

Joel felt his heart twist painfully in his chest as you fought against him. He was holding himself together as best as he could as you cried for your dead friends. “Gwen. Gwen. Baby, please please please stop fighting me. Please! I’m so sorry–”

You broke free of his loose grip as you collapsed down to your knees. Your own arms wrapped around your shaking frame as you let out heavy, heart wrenching sobs. Your vision was blurred by salty tears as you completely caved in on yourself.

Joel was frozen on the spot, his expression stoic, and unreadable. He didn’t know what the fuck to do. What could he do? Bill and Frank were dead. They were dead and he couldn’t comfort you the way he so desperately wanted.

Ellie had watched the whole thing go down from the open doorway. She brought her hand up to her face when she watched you collapse to the floor in a heap of sobs. She pushed herself past Joel before sinking down to her own knees. Suddenly, her arms were around you, she was hugging you tightly, doing her best to try and comfort you.

You only sobbed harder. A bone chilling wail slipped past your cracked lips as you struggled to breathe. Your senses were on overdrive. You were panicking, and Joel recognized it immediately. He was gently grasping Ellie’s shoulders in his trembling palms. “Ellie, move. Please. She needs room to breathe.” He spoke gently to her, easing the teen up from the floor before he sank down to his knees in front of you.

You vaguely could feel his rough palms grasping your tear stained cheeks in a feather light hold. Your ears were ringing, lungs on fire. Joel’s voice sounded muffled and far away. Your head felt dizzy, you swore you were seeing stars behind your eyes as the color drained from your face completely. You had gone sheet white, like a ghost. Heart thrumming rapidly against your ribcage.

“Gwen? Hey..baby. Listen to me, alright? I need you to take some deep breaths for me okay? Deep breaths. Ready? I’ll do them with you.” His tone was soft, tender, and reassuring.

Joel took a deep lungful of air, his eyes never leaving yours as you followed with a deep shaky inhale. You did this a few more times together, and he watched in relief when the color slowly returned to your face.

As soon as you were in a conscious state, you were pushing him away again, far away as your body trembled from shock.

Ellie was close by. She was holding a piece of paper between her fingers. A letter from Bill.

“Read it, Please Ellie.” You whispered.

“Read it.” Joel gave her a small nod of encouragement as he rose to his feet.

August 29th, 2023

“To whomever…but probably Joel.. If you find this…please do not come into the bedroom. We left a window open so the house wouldn’t smell, but it would probably be a sight. I’m guessing you found this, Joel, because anyone else would’ve been electrocuted or blown up by one of my traps. Hehehehehehehehe. Take anything you need. The bunker code is the same as the gate code but in reverse. Anyway…I never liked you, but still, it’s like we’re friends…almost. And I respect you. So, I'm gonna tell you something because you’re probably the only person who will understand. I used to hate the world, and I was happy when everyone died. But I was wrong because there was one person worth saving. That’s what I did. I saved him. Then I protected him. That’s why men like you and me are here. We have a job to do. And God help any motherfuckers who stand in our way. I leave you all my weapons and equipment. Use them to keep…Gwen safe, until such time as you and she decide you’ve had enough. At that point, I recommend pairing 40 Vicodins with a nice Brunello.”

Bill

Suicide.

Bill and Frank died together. In one another’s arms. A poetic death for two people who found love in the apocalypse.

Joel had grabbed the letter from her and quietly folded it up before slipping it into his pocket. He wanted to mourn the death of his friends but now was not the time. He had a job to do, like Bill had said. He had to protect you, and Ellie. That was his sole purpose, and he would be damned if he didn’t follow through with it. “Show me your arm.” He plainly requested.

Ellie looked confused momentarily before she slowly rolled up her sleeve. The bite mark on her arm hadn’t gotten worse.

“I’ve… got a brother out in Wyoming. He’s in some kind of trouble. That’s why I needed the truck battery so desperately. I gotta go out there and find him. He used to be a Firefly, and my guess is he’ll know where some of them are out there. If that's the case, maybe he can get you to whatever lab this is.”

“Okay.”

“We’re gonna gather up on supplies and I'm going to get the truck battery charged up. I need you to bring her upstairs and get her in the shower. Can you do that for me, Ellie? There should be a box of women’s clothing in the closet. I’ll worry about gettin’ the supplies we need.”

“Shouldn’t you be taking care of her?”

Joel grinded his teeth together, clenching his jaw tightly. “She doesn’t want me takin’ care of her right now. She trusts you.” He stated it like it was the obvious.

“Okay.”

“One more thing, there’s some rules you gotta follow. Rule one, don’t bring up Tess. Ever. Matter of fact, we can just keep our histories to ourselves. Rule two, you don’t tell anyone about…your condition. They see that bite mark, they won’t think it through. They’ll just shoot you. Rule three, you do what I say when I say it. We clear?”

“Yes.” Ellie responded.

“Repeat it.” He requested.

“What you say goes.”

Joel gave the teen a small nod before he was glancing down at your position on the floor. Your knees were pulled up to your chest, and your eyes were glazed over in a dead stare. Once Joel’s heavy boots could no longer be heard along the hardwood, Ellie slowly crouched down in front of you.

“Gwen?”

Your eyes flitted over to hers in acknowledgment.

“Joel wants me to get you in the shower. Do you need help getting up?”

You shook your head before slowly pulling yourself up to your feet. You led the way upstairs, pushing back the wonderful memories you shared in this home to the deep part of your brain.

Joel was grabbing you then, grasping your hips as he pulled you flush against his chest. His hand that wasn’t holding you firmly came up to your face, gently tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “What was that about me bein’ pretty awful? I heard that correctly, didn’t I?” His tone was low, teasing.

You immediately brought your arms around his neck and threaded your fingers through his soft curls. “That was nothing, honey. I was just joking. You’re far from awful.”

Before he could steal a kiss, you were slipping out of his grasp like the little tease you were. You had a smirk spread across your lips as you leaned against the doorway. “C’mon, we’re not gonna spend all day up here okay? We’ll have all night for that Joel.” You shot him a wink before slipping past the door and headed back downstairs.

“Gwen?” Ellie was standing alongside you as you stopped in front of the guest room that you and Joel spent a lot of time together in.

“What? I’m…sorry. A lot of memories here. C’mon.” You walked further down the hall and entered a different room. Ellie could only watch as you quietly walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind you. Even after she heard the shower turn on, she sat against the closed door waiting for you.

As the water streamed down your body, washing away dirt, grime, filth, and blood from your body, more memories seeped through the cracks. Silent sobs slipped past your parted lips. You brought your hand up to your mouth to hide the sound of your cries.

He surprised you then, reaching for your hand before he helped you up from the couch gently.

“Dance with me?”

“I never thought you’d ask, cowboy.” You took his hand then as he helped you up. You were a little unsteady on your feet, while his free hand was gently splayed across your lower back as he pulled you into chest, holding you as close as he physically could. Your hearts were practically intertwined as he slowly started to sway with you. Your fingers were interlocked between his other hand while you brought your freehand to his shoulder, playing with the worn fabric of his flannel gently. He dipped his head down slightly, his forehead resting against yours. His warm brown eyes, locked on yours. You continued to slowly sway, taking in this private moment as he whispered the lyrics lowly between you. His voice was warm, inviting, deep and it settled within your bones. “I had the last waltz with you. Two lonely people together. I fell in love with you..the last waltz should last forever..”

He kissed you then. Closing the small gap between you finally. You didn’t even pull away as the record crackled as the song came to an impending end. You continued to kiss him, tasting the sweet wine on his tongue. His breath hitching, his fingers tightening along the exposed sliver of skin of your lower back. You breathed him in, letting his kiss settle deep within your soul.

You scrubbed your skin raw as the scalding water burned. You welcomed the pain without a fuss.

Ellie had stood up once she heard the water turn off and she moved away from the door when it opened. Your eyes were still bloodshot but at least you clean now.

“There should still be some hot water left. Take your time.” You walked past her, going to the closet to pull down the box of women, and men’s clothes that were stored there.

You set out fresh clothes for Ellie and grabbed a new flannel for Joel. You recognized it as Frank’s immediately. You clutched the fabric tightly to your chest, squeezing your eyes shut tightly.

Joel was busying himself in the garage. He was attaching the battery to Bill’s truck and he hoped to god the engine would run. He wiped the sweat beading along his forehead with the back of his hand. Letting out a heavy sigh as his mind drifted to the memories he shared here with his friends, and you.

“Joel, honey?..” you spoke softly through the warm breeze.

“Hmm?” He mumbled softly, blinking a few times as he tilted his head forward once more and looked at the wildflower crown between your fingers. “Oh, that’s beautiful sugar. You want me to put it on you?”

You turned your head slightly so you could look at him. “I was gonna ask if I could put it on you.”

“Oh? No baby, it’ll look beautiful on you. It’ll look silly on me.”

“No it won’t, Joel. You’ll look handsome, I promise.”

How could he really say no to you? Especially when you looked so carefree, so happy. It was just a little flower crown after all. Maybe he wouldn’t end up looking silly.

“Oh, alright. Go ahead. Lay it on me” he watched as you gently lowered the flower crown on top of his soft curls. Your smile was so soft, so beautiful.

“So, how do I look? Still ruggedly handsome?”

You nodded and brushed your fingers against his jaw gently. “No, you look beautiful Joel.”

He slammed the hood of the truck shut, cursing under his breath before he kicked at the tire with his worn boot.

You grabbed one of his hands then and brought it up to your lips, pressing a kiss to his palm before interlocking your fingers with his. “I know honey, I got you, you got me. It’s okay. Please, don’t make me beg you.”

“You got me, I got you.” He let out a puff of air against the back of your neck as he slipped his legs between yours. He let his free hand, that wasn’t grasped between your fingers, grab ahold of himself before he gently, and slowly slipped himself between your slick, warm folds.

“I love you.” you whispered quietly. You were unsure if your confession was due to all the wine you consumed. Or if it was your sober thoughts, coming out in drunk words, or a mix of both.

“I love you, always.” He whispered back, tightening his hold around your waist, smiling against your soft skin when he felt your lips brush against his knuckles.

“God fucking dammit. Fuck.” He let out a pained groan, running his fingers through his hair, gripping the tendrils tightly. It physically brought him pain knowing that you were suffering upstairs. Fuck this world. Fuck the cordyceps. Fuck it all.

Joel passed you on your way down the stairs, you wordlessly tossed the flannel in his direction. Your shoulders brushed slightly as you slipped past him. You sat outside in the familiar field of wildflowers.

It felt like hours had passed by the time Ellie had found you and told you it was time to head out. You said a silent goodbye to your friends. To Bill, Frank, and Tess as the teen helped you up from the grassy floor.

You chose to sit in the backseat of the pickup truck while Ellie took shot-gun. It was clearly Ellie’s first time in a car as she was curiously looking around. She wasn’t even sure what Joel meant by a seatbelt, till he was reaching over and buckling her in.

“It’s like a spaceship.” She spoke in wonderment.

“No, it’s like a piece of shit Chevy S10, but it’ll get us there…I think.” Joel responded, glancing back at you in the rearview mirror. He put the truck in reverse, saying a silent goodbye to Bill and Frank before driving out of the compound.

A tape in the truck started to play, “Long Long Time” by Linda Ronstadt.

You and Joel locked eyes for a fleeting moment before you both looked away.

Joel drove a few miles but as night was steadfast approaching, he found a quiet part in the forest to make camp for the night.

Ellie was fast asleep in her own sleeping bag, and you and Joel were sitting far away from one another.

Your mind had gone numb as you clutched a bottle of red wine in your grasp. A bottle of Brunello, just as Bill had suggested. You tipped the bottle to the stars shining above, thanking Bill and Frank for being in your life before you took a sip. The wine burned down your raw throat, but you appreciated the warmth that settled in your stomach.

You looked over your shoulder at Joel, who was sitting up on his sleeping bag. His back was facing you, Shoulders slumped inwards. You weren’t sure what exactly came over you, or why you suddenly were walking towards him, but it was too late to turn back.

You slowly sank down on the sleeping bag beside him. Shoulders brushing, knees touching. You were holding the bottle outstretched to him. Perhaps this was your own way of extending the olive branch. Or, you were simply seeking comfort in the only way you knew.

Joel wordlessly took the bottle from you, his fingers brushing yours. He tipped the rim of the bottle back, taking a long sip before he set it down between his knees.

“Joel.” You whispered with uncertainty laced in your tone.

“Gwen.” He croaked out.

“Please. Please make the pain go away. Please, Joel. I’m begging you.” You confessed, eyes glassy, lips trembling.

Joel inhaled a shaky breath, slowly turning his chin in your direction so he could meet your gaze. “How can I make the pain go away, my sweet girl.” he whispered.

You were reaching for the bottle between his knees, grasping it before you took another swig. You set the bottle on the side before you were grabbing his hands, interlocking your fingers together. “Please don’t make me say it.” You pleaded with him.

Joel instinctively scooted himself closer to you. You could feel his warm breath fanning your cheeks. You could feel his heartbeat thrumming in his chest. “I’ll make the pain go away. Okay baby? I’ll make it go away.” He promised you.

Your eyes fluttered shut when you felt his nose lightly brush against yours. You could taste the wine on his breath. He had given your hands a reassuring squeeze as he closed the small gap between you. This was a kiss you had never shared with him. Equally desperate, equally broken. Two people, two survivors, falling back on the one thing they knew could heal them. Joel kissed you slow, deep, tenderly. His hands had left yours only to gently cup your face in his warm palms. When he felt your tears freely fall, he gently brushed them away. “Shh. You’re okay. You’re okay Gwen. I got you. You’re safe. I’m here.” He whispered against your lips, tasting your salty tears and residue of wine on his tongue.

He slowly coaxed you into his lap, pulling the sleeping bag around both of your bodies. Concealing yourselves from the forest. His lips never left yours as he gently pushed your pants past your hips along with your panties. His own jeans were pushed past his thighs. You pushed his flannel down his arms before pulling his shirt over his head. You were both desperate for skin to skin contact. Your bodies craved to be as close as possible. Your own shirt was soon discarded as your chests were pressed flush together.

Joel’s arms were tightly wound around your body, your arms mirrored his own. You were hugging each other tightly, nails scraping against scarred skin as he slowly jutted his hips into yours. Harsh inhale, shaky exhale, breaths mingling. He fucked into you slow, deep. He pulled, you pushed. Tears streamed down your faces as you made broken love to each other. Salt mixed with saliva. Whimpers, broken moans were devoured endlessly. “I got you, you got me.” He whispered. “You got me, I got you.” You whispered back, completing your oath to one another.

You clenched, he twitched. Your bodies trembled as you came undone around each other. He stilled inside of you, holding you close as he pressed feather light kisses all over your face before he was resting his sweaty forehead against yours. Neither of you moved as he went soft inside of you. The idea of breaking the connection between your two entwined bodies was not an option. Neither of you could stomach it.

“I don’t expect you to ever forgive me. I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I need you by my side. I can’t do this on my own. I’m incapable without you. I understand if you want to leave, and I won’t try and stop you if you do. I know I hurt you. I know I don’t deserve you, but please stay.” Joel finally spoke through the darkness. His eyes were searching yours. This was his final plea to you.

There was so much you wanted to say. It was on the tip of your tongue, teetering over the edge as your fingers threaded themselves into his sweat soaked hair.

“I’m not going anywhere, cowboy.”

Please don’t hurt me again.

Tag list: @chaotic-mystery @peterhollandkait @yuly@soft-cryptids @dinsdjrn @myrealmofchaos @itskenziebb @lovers-liability @korynnekorynne @ems-alexandra @kirsteng42 @casssiopeia @novemberrain-writes @goodwithcheese @loquaciousferret @sarahhxx03 @777-wonders @bonglorddaryl @mirasantidotes @luvrking @finnsbubblegum @atinylittlepain @last-girl @pedrostories @yazsos @pedgeitopascal @wildemaven

[primordialsoundmeditation]

Have you ever felt like this?

Grounded, fierce, committed, and definitely unpredictable...

It's good.

I hope you get to experience this alive feeling in the best way possible for you.

Something to dream about.

"Emotion is the moment when steel meets flint and a spark is struck forth, for emotion is the chief source of consciousness. There is no change from darkness to light or from inertia to movement without emotion."

- Carl Jung

[Image: Eastern Motive (1875) by French painter Édouard Frédéric Wilhelm Richter (1844-1913).]

Poetry, Tea and Me

Mara Clear Spring Cook

[iggysolosgoku]

Get to know me

Name: Johnny

Age: 19

Requests are open!

Wattpad: IGGYSOLOSGOKU

TikTok: Hxhandjjbafan

Favorite animes: Hunter x Hunter, Jojo's bizarre adventure, jujutsu kaisen,demon slayer and sailor moon

Favorite movies: Scott pilgrim vs the world, repo the genetic opera, scream, the whole Chucky franchise, five nights at Freddy's, the whole trolls franchise, nightmare before Christmas, and Edward scissorhands

Stuff I will write: Fluff, found family, platonic stuff, nsfw, sfw, LGBTQ, yandere, autistic reader, chubby reader,any character reader (ex: mitsuri reader), and poly

Stuff I won't write: incest, angst, age gap,any trolls character x reader cause that's just weird, and animal x reader

Animes and movies I write for: Hunter x Hunter, Jojo's bizarre adventure, Jujutsu kaisen, demon slayer, and Scott pilgrim vs the world

Characters from hunter x hunter I write for: Gon freeces (platonic ONLY), Killua Zoldyck (platonic ONLY), kurapika, leorio, Bisky, wing, illumi Zoldyck, the whole phantom troupe (minus bonolenov, kortopi, and Franklin I like them but not like that), Kite, and Knuckle bine

Characters from Scott pilgrim vs the world I write for: Scott pilgrim, Ramona Flowers, Kim Pine, Stephen Stills, Young Neil, Knives Chau (platonic ONLY), Julie Powers, Stacey Pilgrim, Lucas Lee, Roxie Richter, Gideon Graves, Katayangi Twins, Matthew Patel, Envy Adams, Todd Ingram, and Wallace wells (platonic for girls)

Characters from Jjba part 1 I write for: Jonathan Joestar, Robert E.O Speedwagon, Erina Pendolton, and Dio Brando

Characters from Jjba part 2 I write for: Joseph Joestar, Caesar Zeppeli, Lisa Lisa, Suzi Q, Kars, Wammu, Esidisi, And Santanna

Characters from Jjba part 3 I write for: Jotaro Kujo, Noriaki Kakyoin, Muhammad Avdol, Jean Pierre Polnareff, Joseph Joestar (platonic ONLY), Holly Kujo and Dio Brando

Characters from Jjba part 4 I write for: Josuke Higashikata, Okuyasu nijimura, koichi hirose, Rohan kishibe, yukako yamagishi, toshikazu hazamada (I don't support his actions), Tonio trussaradi, Yoshikage Kira, Reimi Sugimoto, and Mikitaka hazekura

Characters from Jjba part 5 I write for: Giorno Giovanna, bruno bucciarati, Leone abbachio, Trish una, narancia ghirga, mista Guido, panncotta fugo, risotto Nero, melone, formaggio, illuso, prosciutto, pesci (platonic ONLY), diavolo, doppio vinegar, squala, tiziano, cioccolata, sorbet, gelato, and ghiaccio

Characters from Jjba part 6 I write for: Jolyne Kujo, ermes Costello, narsico anasui, weather report, foo fighters, and Enrico pucci

Characters from Jjba part 7 I write for: Johnny Joestar, Gyro Zeppeli, hot pants, Diego Brando, and Lucy steel (platonic ONLY)

Characters for jjba part 8 I write for: I have not read part 8 yet

Characters from demon slayer I write for: Tanjiro Kamado, zenitsu agastuma, inosuke hashibira, nezuko Kamado (platonic ONLY), genya, and all the hashira

Characters from jujutsu kaisen I write for: Yuji itadori, megumi fushiguro, nobara kugisaki, maki zenin, toge inumaki, satoru gojo, nanami kento, kamo choso, and geto suguru

I will NOT write for: Hisoka Morrow

[amechyofsorts]

Okay, im as white as Frosty the snowman's asshole, so I might be totally off base here, but does anyone else feel like Annette's story kinda flirts with the whole "slavery made you strong" idea?

Like, obviously her actual, literal strength came from her training with the slave resistance and her magic powers, but she's pretty undeniably the most consistently effective of the three main fighters, Richter, Maria and her, and with both of them, very explicitly with Richter, it's his incapability to handle the bad personal experiences that makes him entirely ineffective and weak, something that Annette derives him for pretty directly. Same could be said for Maria I think, the way she acted and partially caused the bad situation in the last episode due to the traumatic, personal realization of the Abbot being her father.

Annette by contrast is almost entirely unperturbed, and when she is hurt by things like Eduard's fate, it's never to any real negative consequences to her capabilities. One might think that it's because unlike them, Annette has lived through the worst fucking shit all her childhood, slavery. She saw her mother die in almost exact the same way as Richter, and where'as his reaction was to run tail in a panic upon meeting her killer, hers was only ever a righteous and focused rage, which only ever seemed to make her more effective, not less. Is that because she was forced to keep experiencing horrors even after that, forcing her to mentally steel herself? I kinda got that impression, but mostly because the series doesn't really explicitly offer any other reason either.

And no, im not calling her a mary sue. People throw that word around like punctuation these days without knowing what the fuck it means.

And like, "going through hardship makes people strong" is not at all a rare or unique thing for media to promote, but the slavery context does kinda change it, since it is a real talking point of Neo confederate propaganda and other historical-slavery apologia to argue that slavery is why so many black people excel at things like sports in the modern day. And attributing once strength, physical or that of once will, to the worst possible things a person could made to go through seems kinda fucked up.

Now obviously I don't think the writers meant any of this deliberately. Likely just a writing plunder with potential unfortunate implications. Or did I fucking magic this idea out of nowhere. I haven't seen any other discussion on the matter, so might be. Thoughts welcome.

[kuniku-island-league]

Hello! My name is Ivan Gino, and I am the fighting gym leader and owner of Kuniku Island!

Kuniku Island is an artificial island with many different features! We have almost all Pokémon living in harmony in the wild (except legendaries, mythicals, those kinds of Pokémon), an area where Pokémon are able to dynamax, and an area where Pokémon are able to terastalize!

On this blog, any league member will be able to post on here! Hopefully you'll get to interact with everyone!

Our league is going to have the usual 8 gyms and elite 4 like all of the other regions, but unfortunately we don't have that many people, so contact me if you want to become a gym leader or elite 4 member!

//ooc info below

//hey everyone, it's @half-or-nothing ( @jax-and-winstrate ) again with another blog! this time it's for a fan region made by me! there will be multiple people on this blog with their league members! here's a link to the discord server if you want to make a character and the list of mods and their character(s)

// please join us. we're cool :> -fish

//hey! hey YOU! become one of us!!! -doof :)

@jax-and-winstrate: Ivan Gino (fighting gym leader and owner), Chrom (steel elite 4)

@phantom-freak : Ipuina Begirada (Dark E4)

@doofisconfused: Ruby Richter (Rock Gym Leader)

[vanalex]

💚 The ESH Green Man Tribute Stinger 💚

💚 On April 14th, 2010 the world lost a true legend. Thomas Ratajczyk, aka Peter Steele, was the songwriter, singer and bassist of Type O Negative. 💚

💚Formed in Brooklyn in 1989, Type O Negative became a leading force in the music world. Their lyrics, covering topics of love, romance and death, quickly brought them their nickname "The Drab Four“, in homage to the Beatles "Fab Four“ moniker. 💚

💚 With hit singles like Christian Woman, Black No.1, My Girlfriend's Girlfriend, Cinnamon Girl, and legendary albums like Bloody Kisses and October Rust, Peter Steele and his bandmates in Type O Negative drew worldwide attention and a gathered massive fanbase. 💚

💚During the height of their success in the middle of the 90s, Peter Steele was using a custom made Esh Stinger bass, which became his trademark for quite some time. 💚

💚 After months of meticulous work , the artisans at Esh Basses are now able to present a more than fitting tribute to the great Peter Steele. The result is the Esh "The Green Man“ Stinger. A homage to one of the greatest musicians of our time. 💚

💚 The first 100 instruments come with a signed and hand-numbered art print by artist Sara Ray, while the first 20 additionally come with a limited edition Chainstrap, custom made by Richter Straps for Esh. 💚

🤘 https://esh-bass.com/products/stinger-the-green-man-tribute/ 🔥

Rest in Power, Peter Steele

Jan 4th, 1962 - April 14th, 2010

[thomasturnerillustration]

I'm gonna figure out digital painting!! the study with peter steele was done after reading gerhard richter, I like the idea of enhancing what makes a photogrpah a photograph, esp. when working from a shitty photo saved from pinterest on your cracked smartphone, but i don't think I've really gotten all the way there yet (but I will!).

lil drawing of jordan from life, lil doodles of a bald guy and a blonde kid from life (i'm doing my student teaching can you tell), and a 10 min study of a window at my non student teaching job :')

also I got the artist residency!! I'm ngl I'm very excited, I've never had a mentor or shown my work in a gallery so I'm equal parts "this is weird white people shit, who needs a mentor, I'm 29 and I pay bills" and "I sure would like someone to talk about my work with who wants to see more grow as a visual artist" 🤡🤣✨ ((I'm very excited))

anyway if anyone has thoughts on digital or traditional painting/painters they love I'd love to hear about them! :')

[somer-writes]

What kind of music do you listen to? 👀

this is a hard question bc i listen to anything and everything XD recently ive been on a desert rock and sufjan stevens kick. been obsessed with lovin on me by jack harlow. super fucking catchy. also fucking nsync making a comeback with trolls 3 means ive had better place stuck in my head on repeat.

according to spotify my top artists for the year were:

Indigo de Souza (i own a couple vinyls. shes so good)

Antonio Vivaldi (four seasons ftw i own the max richter recomposition on vinyl)

Cake (mostly from b-sides and rarities)

PUP (the dream is over is such a good album and i own it on vinyl)

Mystery Skulls (hellbent, future, paralyzed...forever is my fav album of theirs)

My top songs were:

this one is in japanese and i have no idea what its called. its a vocaloid with steel drums

Dummy by Portugal the Man which is funny bc i dont care for most of their catalog but this song is so catchy

White Flag by Dido

Strange Comfort by the Color Morale (been in my rotation for nearly 10 years XD)

The Bug Collector by Haley Hendrickx (i love the melody of this song and the lyrics. i actually wrote a story to it)

In the past month my top artists were:

Michael Bublé (christmas music XD)

Mitski who i dont generally care for but her newest album is god tier

Rainbow Kitten Surprise (they do not have a bad song)

Mystery Skulls

Roe Kapara (i got to see him in concert in november and it was amazing!!! the guitarist hes on tour with is so talented!)

And the top songs of the month are:

Time in a Tree by Raleigh Ritchie (you may know him as grey worm from game of thrones. he also has amazing guest grumps episodes. he has no bad songs)

The Bidding by Tally Hall

Je te laisserai des mots by Patrick Watson (part of this is a popular tiktok sound but the whole song is good, v mellow)

vampire by Olivia Rodrigo

And concerts/shows I went to in 2023:

Roe Kapara/Derry

The Four Seasons candlelight concert

Don Giovanni (opera)

Avett Brothers/Turnpike Troubadours (got to see living proof and no hard feelings by the avett brothers live and it was incredible)

Trixie & Katya Live

Sabaton

In 2024:

La Traviata (opera)

Los Sueños de Frida y Diego (opera)

Wednesday (concert)

Moulin Rouge (musical)

[dont-leafmealone]

heard you wanted to talk about your elaborate playlists?👀👀👀

oh you are unleashing a storm here XD

so I think the coolest duo of playlists i have are my Sokka and Yue ones. They have so much overlap because the characters themselves are so intertwined - Yue's an excellent character in her own right, but we perceive her almost entirely through Sokka, and Sokka's arc is undeniably shaped by Yue.

Sokka's playlist has the following;

Son of Man by Phil Collins (from the Tarzan soundtrack) - I think it fits Sokka's arc well, growing and becoming wiser and stronger, but not *quite* a man yet.

I'm Still Here by John Rzeznik (from the Treasure Planet soundtrack) - this one was actually on my Jet playlist first, but then I realized it fits Sokka really well. Especially paired with the scene from the movie it's in, where the main character watches his father leave on a ship, and struggles with not having a father figure to fill the space.

If I Believed by Dylan Saunders (from Twisted: The Untold Story Of A Royal Vizier) - the reason for this one I think can be summed up with the line: 'science says you're dead and gone forever / reason says I'm talking to the air / but deep within my heart / some secret hidden part / illogically insists that you are there'. it fits him and his grief and the struggle between his logical mind and his heart so well.

The Ghost Of You by My Chemical Romance - another one I picked because of how it relates to both his grief over Yue and especially the guilt he internalized after losing her.

No Way by Darren Criss, Bonnie Gruesen, Lauren Lopez and Joey Richter (from A Very Potter Sequel) - this one's a kind of goofy little song from a harry potter parody musical, but it definitely encapsulates Sokka's can-do, no-nonsense attitude, leadership, and strategism to a T.

Meanwhile on Yue's side of things we have:

What The Water Gave Me by Florence + The Machine - this song fits her well, I feel like. While the lyrics seem to be about a suicide, it also fits Yue's sacrifice to bring back the moon spirit, giving back 'what the water gave her', her family bargaining with fate to keep her alive - it all aligns very well to me.

Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up) by Florence + The Machine - also fitting the theme of sacrifice, this song feels like what I imagine Yue felt, choosing to sacrifice her life. Having to steel her courage and make peace with it.

I'm Not Strong Enough To Say No by BlackHawk - this one's fun because it works for both Yue and Sokka, but I really enjoy it being hers. The song is from the point of view of a man in love with a married woman, asking her to stay away so he won't be tempted, but in the show we see that Yue is the one who has trouble being around Sokka because she likes him too much.

Annabel by The Duhks - a song about mourning a lost loved one, asking after their spirit. It's on my Sokka playlist, but the sound of it is very Yue, I think, and in this context the song is *to* Yue so it's on her playlist too. I really like the line 'Annabel, Annabel, are you free? / will you wrap me in your legacy?'. It seems like something Sokka would ask while talking to himself and the moon, as I imagine he probably does.

Moonlight by Grace VanderWaal - a little on the nose with this one XD but I think lyrically it fits her (and Azula, but in a very different way). 'a doll made out of glass / all her friends think that she's great / but I can see through it all and she's about to break' fits so well to me. Her 'breaking' being taking charge of her life, giving herself agency, and choosing to save her people, doing what's best for them - on her own terms, not the ones someone else picked out.

I probably oughta stop here, this got really long lol.