#Royed Week 2018 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

belmottetower · 2 years ago

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just one more question, promise!! this isn't so much me wanting info as it is wanting your opinion. how do you think jamie's loan came about? he made it to the first team but he wasn't good enough to get regular minutes yet, is what they said iirc. was he the one who pushed for a loan? do you think he was struggling with "dominating" or did that only happen at richmond with the gaffer pushing him to be the star? just interested in hearing your thoughts

Fun question! Let's start with the facts. Much like player sales, player loans can only happen during the transfer window - the period of time when it’s agreed teams can conduct business of adding players to their roster. These happen twice a year. The main one is in the summer, usually from mid June after the season ends, until the end of August. And then there is a shorter one in the middle of season, from 1 - 31 January. The summer transfer window starts during the off-season and extends into the beginning of the season - this is how Richmond was able to sign Zava in the first few weeks of the season. (When Jamie signs with Richmond at the start of season 2, it’s October, and that’s outside the transfer window BUT Jamie is also a free agent. He has no contract with another club. Teams can sign free agents at any time.)

Ted Lasso season 1 begins in early January 2020, so during the January transfer window. Jamie’s loan would have been agreed upon either the summer before the start of the 2019/2020 football season, or a few days before Ted joins Richmond in the winter transfer window. Given how settled he seems with the team, I think it’s pretty safe to say Jamie's loan started in the summer of 2019, six months before Ted came, and that he arrived in the same transfer window as Sam and Dani. This is Sam’s first season in the Premier League and he’s been there long enough for his stats to drop, so more than a couple of weeks, ergo, he came in the summer, and Dani is said to have arrived in the summer transfer window and immediately gotten injured. Jamie didn’t seem to know Dani at all when he arrived in 1.06, so it could be that Dani came to the UK in July and got injured in preseason training before Jamie arrived at Richmond. This would imply that Jamie’s loan was decided late in the transfer window, maybe in August, right as the season was about to get underway.

There is the slight possibility that Jamie’s loan was longer than a single year and that he actually arrived at Richmond in the summer of 2018, or the January of 2019. I don’t actually believe this is the case, mainly because Jamie had not attended the For The Children gala before - the one in 1.04, February 2020, was his first time, and he would have been present for the February 2019 one if he’d been at Richmond earlier. I also think if Jamie had been at Richmond for 12 or 18 months by the time Ted arrived, the vibe would be different between him and Roy - their tension is still fresh enough for it to have only been a few months. The main reason I am bringing up the possibility of a longer loan is just to say that they theoretically can happen. They aren’t a strict one-year thing.

As for the personal circumstances… I don’t think Jamie would have pushed for it. City was always his team growing up, and going through the Academy I think he would have always wanted to stay with City. But City has such a deep squad. They have players who would be starting every single game if they played at another club sitting on the bench week after week, just because of how talented the whole team is. They have more talent than they can use.

There’s actually a situation happening right now at City with Cole Palmer. He's one of their former academy players who is now 21, and he was called up to the senior team a few years ago. He has been training with them and getting some minutes, but just not enough time on the pitch to keep developing. He’s played in 28 first team matches across all competitions since 2020, he hasn’t started most of them, and to give some context, City played 61 matches across all competitions JUST THIS SEASON. He’s had very little game time in the past 3 seasons. City don't want to sell him, they see him as an academy success story, so the rumour is that now the summer transfer window is open, they’re going to send him away on loan so he can get good minutes and get more confidence and experience, and then at the end of the 2023/24 season, the club will reassess and maybe recall him to the main team, or maybe loan him for longer.

I think it’ll have been a similar situation with Jamie. They couldn’t give him the minutes he needed but they didn’t want to sell him, so they sent him on loan to a club where he’d start every match, get a lot of minutes and develop more, then bring him home. But a couple of things make this a bit unusual for Jamie in terms of football realism:

1) His age. 23 is very old for a loan from City. Even if he was 22 when it started, that’s still old. Cole’s only just turned 21 and his situation, of actually being called up to the senior squad and then loaned, is one that I haven’t seen happen in a while at City - while Ted Lasso was airing, there weren’t any players in that situation, so this is a brand new comparison I can now make for Jamie, and Cole is still a fair bit younger than Jamie would have been. The fact that Jamie was loaned out when he was almost 23 means that he was either lingering on the City senior team bench for YEARS, or that he was a bit of a late bloomer - that he actually hadn’t been called up to the senior squad very often, and he was one of the older players on City’s Elite Development Squad (the reserve team of young pro players, I wrote about them in the first answer) until he was about 21. If you click there, you’ll see quite a number of EDS squad are on loan. This is far more common than loaning out players who have already been called up to the senior squad.

2) The fact he was loaned to another Premier League team. This is rare and weird for City, usually they send loanees to a lower league or to another country. Some Premier League teams DO loan to other Prem teams, but City doesn’t tend to, so this is something they fudged for the sake of the show. Important note about this: if you ever write a season 1 canon divergent fic where Jamie does NOT get sent back to Man City in 1.06, he could not play for Richmond against Man City in that final match of the season. Players on loan cannot play against their parent club - Jamie would have had to watch that match as a spectator. He could not have sat on the bench or been in the dressing room or anything, he would have literally not been allowed to be a part of the Richmond team in any way. (I included this situation in my season 1 do-over fic “jeff bridges.”)

A bit more on the age thing - sometimes, a really stunning young teenage player will be called up to the senior team almost immediately after signing their pro contract. The best real life example of this for Man City is Phil Foden. He’s a local Manchester lad, an academy product called up to the senior side when he was only 17. He didn’t always play that much, but he was never loaned out. Over the years, Pep Guardiola was criticised by some for not loaning him, pundits said Foden should demand a loan. But Pep wanted to keep him close and oversee his training development himself - he thought he was the most talented young player he had ever seen and the future of Man City. Over the years Foden rose through the ranks and started becoming a starter and a main part of the squad, and also the England squad - he debuted for England at 20. He’s just turned 23 and he is now seen as a main player, an established regular City star and Pep is now in a similar situation with Rico Lewis, a defender who went from captaining City’s Under 18 team in the 2021–22 season to being called up to the senior team in August 2022. Rico is also not going to be loaned, he is going to be kept close.

But this Magical Teenager Thing was very much NOT how the show portrayed Jamie’s story. The show acts like Jamie is an inexperienced youngster on the rise at 23, not an established superstar with six years of Premier League glory like Foden. It’s kind of unusual that at 23, Jamie still wasn’t getting enough minutes to get experience and yet City still wanted to retain him. By 23, the club really should have made a decision about keeping him or selling him. So this is what makes me think that he’d been playing a major role in the EDS team til he aged out of it, and only had a short time on the senior side - maybe one season, when he was 21 turning 22 - before his loan to Richmond.

There is a world in which Jamie WAS a teenage rising star who was getting the Phil Foden treatment - being kept around the first team by Pep but not playing games - and that after several years of that, he did actually request a loan so that he could play more. But I just find it really hard to imagine that he was lingering unused on the first team for 5 years. Jamie seemed to think Richmond was really shit - tragic he called them, he clearly thought he was above it and didn’t want to be there. That doesn’t fit for me with Jamie requesting a loan. But it’s possible he requested one and expected to be sent to a team in Germany or something and instead got Richmond. If someone wanted to write a fic in which he requested a loan, there would be specific ways to make it plausible, but it’s just not how I see it going.

Side note: I like to imagine that most real footballers are also in the Ted Lasso universe, especially as people like Pep and Southgate and Marcus Rashford are real, but Phil Foden is one of the players that I DON’T include as existing in the Ted universe, because his story of being that young superstar, even younger than Jamie, who Pep wanted to keep close, makes Jamie’s story so angsty in comparison - Jamie not making the same progress in the team as Foden, Jamie getting loaned when Foden wasn’t. Phil Foden would be, as @scoatneyhall likes to put it, a stick that James would use to beat Jamie with, and that’s not the kind of angst I enjoy, and Man City also didn’t have another local lad on the team at the time, it doesn’t quite track logistically. So for me, Jamie replaces Foden as the Man City Academy Product retained by City. (I also don’t think Jack Grealish exists in Ted world, sorry! Jamie is styled too closely on Jack, with the hair and with the low socks and shin pads. And Jamie is an original, he wants to be known for himself. He would never copy the famous style of another, more established player who was currently playing in the same league. He would never want to be known as a Grealish copycat, ergo, Jack does not exist in the same universe as Jamie.)

Re: Jamie “dominating” - given that it's the real Pep who was City’s manager on the show, I just can’t imagine this having happened on the City senior squad. Jamie could have been a leader and a star player on his EDS team, but a bad attitude would have counted against him, and with Pep on the City first team, it’s very much a no egos allowed zone. Jamie would have been a small fish in a big pond and whether he liked it or not, he would have had to be a team player in order to get to play at all. He would not have gotten away with acting like a prick to people off the pitch and he would not have succeeded in getting more minutes if he acted like a selfish player at City. He could have tried to prove himself and “dominate,” and be responsible for great solo goals, but he probably would have gotten in trouble for it - Pep does not offer players a lot of freedom to take control of the game. He has a system, he wants them to do exactly what he’s planned and stay exactly where he’s told them to go.

City already play a version of Total Football, and what I think was happening is that James was “backseat driving” Jamie and telling him what he should do and how he should play, with no actual understanding of professional football or of how Pep specifically was playing the game. We talk about Jamie's history with Pep and Total Football on Subjectify, in our conversation review of episode 3.07, but Pep uses a really high rotation of players and I just think that James was in Jamie’s ear saying stuff that was stupid and uneducated in terms of City’s actual tactics. It could be that Jamie didn’t fully love or understand Pep’s Total Football system either, and he himself wanted to play different football, but given that he’s the one who explains to everyone that he’s actually NOT best used as a striker but rather as a central attacking midfielder, I think he knew perfectly well that his dad didn’t have a clue what he was talking about, but that his wrong opinions were wearing on him anyway.

I have a personal headcanon as well that someone at club - maybe one of the coaches that had been around him a lot as he worked his way through the academy - saw James start to hang around more after Jamie signed his senior pro contract and could see the impact it was happening on him and they played a role in suggesting the loan, hoping maybe some distance from James would be good. I don’t think Jamie got the loan as “punishment” for being a prick, or not being a good team player - they definitely would have sent him away EXPECTING him to be playing a much more major role at a club that needed him - but I also don’t think he was happy about it, because even if HE understood the reason why it would benefit him in the long run, his dad would act like Jamie had failed to do well enough to earn a place in City’s starting lineup. And Jamie may have felt this way too, even if he had more understanding as to why. We know that Jamie never really agreed with James, he hated his dad’s opinions - James’s commentary on Jamie’s playing was something Jamie was pushing back against, not trying to live up to. But he would still have to agree with the basic assessment of “you’re not good enough to play for City so you’re getting loaned.” That’s the objective truth, there’s just a lot of different ways someone could say that or feel about it. Pep’s approach to that concept will be very different from James’s, and Jamie probably ended up feeling pretty shit about it.

So yes. I think the majority of the issues we see in season 1 with Jamie are because Jamie is bitter about being sent away, about being deemed not good enough to get the minutes with City, and because of how George Cartrick used him at Richmond. In the conversation review I linked above, I said "I see George’s mindset as being so similar to the way James thinks Jamie should act and play. So if you have Jamie feeling resentment over being sent away, and then being managed by George who would have just reinforced every nasty thing James had been saying over the years, it really makes sense why he would act the way he did." He took a young, talented player trained by Pep Guardiola who could operate in a variety of attacking roles but who was used to being a small part of a Total Football team and put him up front by himself as an out and out striker, a classic 9, and used him to coast, basically saying, “this kid is better than all of you, just get the ball to him,” encouraged Jamie to take over, and Jamie was almost forced to lead the team that way and therefore feel responsible for everything they achieved. It's exactly like the formation with Zava in season 3 except that Jamie would not have had the power to request that formation, it would have been thrust upon him.

We talked about this in the conversation review of 3.03, how he had no discipline and how his raw talent was being exploited. And how that situation both fed Jamie’s ego and made him feel VERY stressed about the wins and losses - the thing is, even with Jamie as the team’s best player, Richmond still wasn't doing well! They were mid-table and had lost 3 of the last 4 when Ted arrived. Jamie is struggling with all of this, the losses hit him hard just like they hit Roy hard. It’s one of the things they have in common in season 1 - those two are really angry about the team’s losses and about Ted being hired, far more than the rest of the team. I think the Jamie we meet in season 1 is the worst Jamie has ever been, but I also don't think that he has been acting like that for years on end or anything. I think it's recent. I think the reason he bounces back to having a better attitude so quickly, in the middle of season 1, is because it’s a reversion, a return to his more natural sense of self, even if his ego is very real.

This is a bit all over the place but I hope some of this makes sense or resonates with you!

#jamie tartt #ted lasso meta

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justinspoliticalcorner · 8 months ago

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The Charlotte Observer Editorial Board: Shame on Donald Trump for worsening NC’s Helene tragedy with political lies

The Charlotte Observer Editorial Board (10.05.2024):

Western North Carolina is trying to pick up the pieces left behind by Hurricane Helene, which decimated the region, leaving communities destroyed and a death toll in the triple digits. This is not a situation to capitalize on for political gain. But former President Donald Trump has politicized the situation at every turn, spreading falsehoods and conspiracies that fracture the community instead of bringing it together. The worst example is a social media post Trump made on Monday, in which he accused the federal government and Democratic Gov. Roy Cooper of “going out of their way to not help people in Republican areas. MAGA!” That same day, Trump also posted that the Biden administration has “left Americans to drown” in North Carolina and other states. Then, in an interview with his former adviser Kellyanne Conway, Trump doubled down on his claim, saying the government is “going out of their way to hurt” Trump voters in Western North Carolina.

[...]

There’s no evidence to support any of those ridiculous claims. And by every indication, state and federal agencies have been working to help people in need. They’ve been airlifting food and other supplies to affected areas.

[...] Trump’s claims are as hypocritical as they are harmful. POLITICO’s E&E News reported this week that, as president, Trump could be “flagrantly partisan” in times of disaster and “on at least three occasions hesitated to give disaster aid to areas he considered politically hostile or ordered special treatment for pro-Trump states.” According to the report, Trump was hesitant to send disaster aid when California was ravaged by wildfires in 2018 until he learned the affected part of the state was saturated with Trump voters. Let’s be clear: Western North Carolina is not a political football. This is not a campaign opportunity. The most unhelpful thing any politician — or anyone else — can do right now is spread misinformation and tell people that their government isn’t doing anything to help them. Sowing the seeds of political division is always an unnecessary and tiresome endeavor. But doing so in times of great need, when unity is paramount, is particularly shameful.

The Charlotte Observer wrote a solid editorial calling out Donald Trump’s craven and politically expedient lies about storm management in regards to Hurricane Helene.

#The Charlotte Observer #Editorials #Donald Trump #FEMA #Hurricane Helene #North Carolina #Hurricanes #Disaster Relief Funding #Disaster Aid

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70s-show-diary · 1 year ago

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Rules: List the first line of your last ten (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern.

"God, that's crazy." I point at Steven. "You so came on to me first." (Liminal Space, 2024)

"Hey, Roy. Is Steven in the kitchen?" (Christmas Cheer, 2022)

Jackie did what she could to conceal her smile as Steven silently made his way over to the passenger side door to open it for her. (Words Left Unsaid, 2018)

Two weeks and three days, but I wasn't counting...I swear. (Let's Grow Up Together, 2018)

Erythema had blossomed angrily over Jackie' s skin located just above her radial pulse on her left wrist. (It Takes Time to Fall in Love, 2017)

The moon dimly illuminates my room enough so that I can just barely make out Steven's silhouette as he closes my bedroom door. (Starlight, 2016)

Angie was out for blood. Steven's blood. (The Fine Print, 2016)

"You're going to see 'Star Wars'?" I snap my head up, not sure that I heard Steven correctly. (Here We Go Again, 2015)

"Jackie Beulah Burkhart." (The Speech, 2015)

Most people would leave a bucket of dead, offensive, and foul-smelling fish they found in an empty parking lot right where it was. I, on the other hand, never missed an opportunity to capitalize on ruining someone's day. (The Renewal: Through the Eyes of Steven Hyde, 2014)

Comments: Fun fact, with the exception of my one-shot/drabble series and my very first T7S fic, this actually covers all of my T7S fics. I also included the dates these were published because these ten fics cover ten years of fic-writing for me (I'm a steady, but not prolific writer). I don't really detect any patterns, and I think that is partially due to how I've changed as a writer these last ten years and also because I love to experiment with different hook styles (dialogue, character building, action, etc.).

Thank you for the tag, @those70scomics! If there are any writers (T7S or otherwise) out there that haven't yet been tagged, consider reading to the bottom of this post the sign that you've been tagged!

#That '70s Show #my fanfic #T7S fanfic #those70scomics #q

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jeremysstrong · 4 months ago

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Home Video - a Kendall/Reader Fic

Well, yes, I did come back from my 12 year hiatus of writing fanfiction to create this masterpiece.

Home Video by HomoForce

Fandom: Succession (TV 2018)

Rating: Explicit

Relationships: Kendall Roy/Reader

Additional Tags: Smut, Blow Jobs, Cunnilingus, Vaginal Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Sex Tapes, Praise Kink, Light Dom/Sub

Summary:

You really fucking miss your boyfriend Kendall, so you devise a plan to film a sex tape when he comes home, so you'll never be lonely without him again.

Kendall had been out of town for an entire week at this point.

It was driving you absolutely nuts to be without him in his giant, sterile, white penthouse. Trying to fill your days with anything outside of work proved daunting - reading whatever dense looking books lined his expansive bookshelves, teaching yourself to crochet, even listening to the business podcasts he incessantly recommended. Absolutely nothing could make you forget his absence.

So it had come to this: watching videos of him wherever you could find them. Scouring every corner of the internet, YouTube, Reddit, even “X” to watch clips of him speaking in front of herds of journalists, paparazzi, news anchors.

His presence on a screen was magnetic, hard for you even to put words to. The way his eyes glimmered, reflecting bright overhead studio lights. The flex of his hands as he gesticulated each point. The slight smirk his plush lips twisted into when he knew he said something good. Something so charming, so smart, so witty that he had the audience eating out of his hands.

God, you were a starved animal staring at a piece of virtual meat.

It was no wonder your little fantasy came about. You can only spend so much time watching the man you love on screen before you start to get ideas.

---------

Sunday night finally came around, the Roy jet was touching down at any moment, and you could feel the anticipation so deep, it was the calcium that solidified your bones.

Kendall got home promptly at 9:05p and you threw yourself at him before he barely made it into the threshold of the penthouse.

Running, full force, throwing your arms around his neck and pressing your lips firmly against his. He greeted you with a swallowed chuckle, dropping his bag and stupidly expensive coat to the ground to wrap his arms around your waist and lift you.

“This is certainly a warm welcome…” he smiled down at you, returning your feet to the floor.

“I missed you…” you replied sheepishly. Even after all this time, you still got nervous around him after a period away. Like meeting up with someone for a second or third date, the anticipation tormenting the butterflies in your stomach.

He ran his hand over your cheek, swiping his thumb over your bottom lip. He chuckled again, quietly, and pulled you back for another kiss. It was long, intentional, charged with seven days worth of emotion. Kendall slotted his lips in between yours, letting his tongue slip into your mouth, letting out a small moan when you captured his bottom lip between your teeth.

“Oh, so that’s how it’s going to be?” He asked, eyes piercing yours as he broke the kiss. He brought a hand from your waist to your ass, squeezing hard, emitting a gasp from you.

You nodded. “I haven’t stopped thinking about you all week..” You grabbed his free hand, bringing it to your mouth, “I thought about your hands..your fingers..” sliding his index and middle finger into your mouth, sucking them, looking up at him through your lashes.

“I thought about how they felt inside of me…” you say, removing his fingers from your mouth, guiding them down to the bottom of your dress, slipping them under the fabric, under your silky panties, bringing them to your clit.

Kendall let out a deep groan at the contact. Watching you with heavy eyes, mouth slightly ajar.

You used your hand to guide him in circling your clit, releasing your grip to grab his shoulders once he took over the rhythm.

“You left me alone for so long, I had to resort to touching myself while watching videos of you..” you whispered. Kendall’s eyes had gone from hazel to a deep black, fully engrossed in the little performance you were giving him.

“I’m sorry baby, you know I wouldn’t take all these stupid fucking trips if I didn’t have to” he replied, increasing his pressure on your clit. “But, I can make it up to you. I can make it up to you over and over again. Just tell me what you need.”

You let the smallest smile spread across your lips. Bingo.

“I have an idea on how you can make it up to me, but it might be a hard sell...”

“Tell me baby, your wish is my command.” He rasped, slipping his fingers into you.

You moaned, leaning into him with all your weight. You pressed your lips to his ear, planting a kiss before whispering,

“I want us to make a little home movie.”

Kendall pulled back slightly, looking at your face, trying to gauge if you were being serious. You bit your bottom lip, nodding.

“Uh- I-...I don’t know if I can do that.” He responded, taking his fingers out of you, out of your panties.

You grunted unhappily at the loss of contact. “I’m like…a public figure. If a sex tape of me were to get leaked to the press, it would be a giant fucking field day… I would never hear the end of it from my siblings… it would tank my business deals.”

You smoothed your hand over his cheek, trying to stop him from descending into an anxious spiral at the suggestion of your idea.

“Ken, it’d just be for us. I just want something to watch when you’re away and I’m missing you like fucking crazy.” You watched his expression soften slightly, registering your words. “And it’d be for you too, obviously. For when you’re off on a business trip and a nude from me just isn’t cutting it.” He smirked, nodding his head.

“Okay, okay, I am getting more on board. There's a way to make secret folders in your camera roll, right? Maybe we can just… put the video in one of those.”

“Yes, you can make secret folders in your camera roll if you want to hide things” you laughed, “it never ceases to amaze me that a man who owns as many tech companies as you do still gets confused by his iPhone.”

“Hey! I will not apologize for being an older millennial. I still wish I had my Blackberry.” He retorted, trying to withhold a smile.

“Yeah, okay old man, c’mon” you giggled, grabbing his hand and pulling him to the bedroom.

Kendall trailed behind you as you guided the two of you to the other end of the penthouse. You flicked on the lights in the primary suite, the amber bulbs on each nightstand illuminating the room with a warm glow. Kendall stepped into the room behind you, placing his hands on your hips.

“So what now, my little director?” he asked into your ear.

“Well,” you spun around, facing him. “We should figure out where to set my phone, and then I guess….we just do what we normally do.”

You grabbed your phone from where it was charging, walking to the nightstand on your side of the bed. You set your phone horizontally on its side, leaning against your water glass from the previous night, lens angled at the bed.

You opened the camera app, and looked over your shoulder at Kendall, who was watching you from the center of the bedroom. You could see the outline of his erection through his pants. You smiled at him, really fucking happy to see that this idea was exciting him as much as it was you.

“I’m hitting record now!” you announced, pressing the button and walking back to him. The two of you stood there for a minute, staring at the screen, staring at your bodies facing each other. Kendall broke the tension, reaching out, slipping an arm around your waist and pulling you flush against him. He took his mouth to yours, slow kisses quickly morphing into passionate ones.

You moaned as his hands again found your ass, squeezing both cheeks before lifting you to his waist. You wrapped your legs around him, letting him carry you to the bed while you kissed.

Kendall laid you down on the bedspread gently, pulling himself back to stand and unbutton his shirt while he looked down at you. “God, you are so fucking beautiful, you know that?” he asked, finishing the buttons and pulling the shirt from his shoulders. You blushed, looking at his face, his chest, his subtly defined muscles, everything glowing in the amber light.

“You’re pretty fucking beautiful yourself” you replied, sitting up and grabbing his belt to pull him between your legs on the edge of the bed. He bit back a smile and shook his head ‘no’, before cupping your face in his hands and kissing you again.

You began to undo his belt, pulling it open before unbuttoning his pants and lowering his fly. His cock strained against his navy blue boxer briefs, precum already gathering on the fabric. Your mouth watered just looking at it.

“Go ahead princess” he cooed, seeing the direction of your gaze. You pulled his cock free from his boxers, shoving them and his pants down to his ankles. You worked him in your hand, pumping his cock in slow drags, watching his pupils widen as he watched.

You shifted your weight on the bed, angling your head, and slowly taking the tip of his dick into your mouth. You moved your tongue in circles around the head, cupping his balls with your right hand. Kendall’s head fell back as he let out a loud sigh, hand coming to rest on the back of your head.

You continued to inch him into your mouth until he was at the back of your throat. You hollowed out your cheeks, creating an excess of sensation for him. His fingers gripped the back of your skull as you moved your mouth back and forth across his cock.

“Yes, fuck, that’s so good” he panted as you continued.

You looked up at him, tears starting to form at the corners of your eyes, repeatedly taking all of him to the back of your throat, pushing yourself through nearly choking. You had finally worked up a perfect rhythm, Kendall so close to losing it when he pulled out of your mouth abruptly.

“Hold on, hold on…I don’t want to come yet” he said, breathless. You nodded, watching him try to regain his cool.

Kendall reached down, tucking his fingers under the hem of your dress, and pulling it off over your head. The cool air hit your skin, goosebumps breaking out all over. Your nipples stood on end, immediately shocked by the temperature change, pressing against the soft fabric of your bra.

Kendall kicked off his remaining clothes, kneeling between your legs. His hands snaked around your lower back, pulling you closer to him. He began to pepper your neck with kisses and bites, moving his way down to your chest. He deftly undid your bra, tossing it to the side. He lowered his head, taking one of your nipples into his mouth.

You let out a soft gasp as he bit down on the soft, pink, nub. Kendall’s fingers dug into your hips as he ran his tongue in circles around each nipple. You could feel yourself growing wetter with each swipe of his tongue, the ache between your legs becoming harder to ignore.

With that almost sixth-sense of his, he pulled his mouth from your nipple with a loud ‘pop’, standing up suddenly. You watched as he walked over to your phone on the nightstand, picking it up, and flipping the camera to focus on you.

“What are you doing?” you asked, unsure but excited with where this was heading.

“I think we need some different camera angles,” he said, seeming genuinely interested in the cinematic direction of your little sex tape.

He walked back to you, putting himself back between your legs, knees knocking against each other. The camera of your phone was trained down on you, looking up at him with endless pools of lust in your eyes.

“Be a good girl,” he instructed, guiding his thumb into your mouth. You sucked on his digit, humming approvingly at his direction.

Kendall slowly pulled his thumb from your mouth, pushing your jaw to hang open at the last moment. He used his free hand to grip your chin, bringing you closer to him. “Swallow,” he commanded, spitting into your mouth. You did as you were told.

“Good girl. Take off your panties.”

You quickly hooked your thumbs under the sides of your underwear, lifting your hips slightly from the mattress to drag them down your legs, letting them pool on the ground under your feet.

Kendall nodded approvingly as you looked back to him, before handing you your phone.

“Angle it at me,” he instructed, getting back on his knees. You turned the phone so the camera captured him, his body kneeled between your legs on the other side of the screen. Kendall gently pushed your torso back to recline, settling his head between your thighs.

He looked directly into the lens as he dragged his tongue in a long stripe up your pussy.

A gasp escaped your lips as he moved himself deeper into you, circling your clit with his tongue. You watched him through the screen, the video capturing the way his eyes devoured you as he worked his mouth.

“Ken…” you exhaled, his eyes flicking from the lens to yours. He smirked despite being buried between your legs, thrusting his tongue into your cunt.

“I need you inside me,” you pleaded, each movement of his mouth bringing you closer to orgasm. You could see the flames burning behind his pupils, your begging and whimpering further igniting the fire within him.

He pulled his mouth from you, wiping your slick from his face with the back of his hand. “Scoot back,” he instructed, climbing over you once you settled farther back on the bed.

Kendall took the phone from your hand, resting it against the pillows, the camera trained on your bodies in the center of the bed.

He pinned your wrists to the mattress above your head, dipping down to hungirly kiss you. You wrapped your legs around his waist, feeling his hard cock press into your lower abdomen. You rocked into each other, each of you past the point of niceties, needing the pressure of the other against your most sensitive areas.

Kendall pulled himself back, grabbing the phone, handing it to you. “Watch as you fucking take me,” he murmured, lining himself up with your pussy. You focused the camera on his dick, the way he gripped it, hitting the tip against your clit. You groaned as he teased you, before continuing to guide the head into your cunt.

You couldn’t believe you were recording your boyfriend burying his cock in you, your daydreams of this not nearly doing it justice. You moaned as Kendall settled all of himself in you, the two of you staring as he slowly began to move in and out of your pussy.

You dug the nails of your free hand into his shoulder, relishing in the feeling of his cock tapping that sensitive spot inside you. If there was one thing Kendall knew how to do, it was bring you very quickly to the edge, every single time.

Your legs were beginning to shake when Kendall stopped his thrusts, pulling himself out of you.

“I want you to ride me,” he exhaled, “I need you to see how good you look on top.”

He quickly rolled to his back, looking at you expectantly. You sat up, handing him your phone, and positioned your hips over his.

“Yeah, just like that baby,” he groaned as you lowered yourself onto him, taking his cock all the way to the hilt. Your phone was pointed at you, Kendall capturing every move of your body on top of his. You rocked your hips, building up a rhythm that made your legs ache, pressing your palms into his pecs.

“Look at the way you throw your pussy at me,” he rasped, feeling each slap of your hips rocking down into his. “You’re so fucking good, so so fucking good…”

You could feel yourself reaching your peak, Kendall’s praises and the fact that you were on camera edging you on. He brought one hand firmly down on your ass, the smack echoing loudly in the room. You groaned, biting your lip.

“No, let it out. Let me hear you,” Kendall commanded, smacking your ass again. You let out a tense ‘fuck’, feeling everything bubbling to the surface.

He reached his free hand down to your clit, firmly rubbing circles while you rocked your hips. “Ken..Ken- I’m- I’m gonna come,” you rasped, your nails leaving crescents in his chest.

“Yeah baby, come for me,” Kendall panted, snapping his hips up. Your orgasm racked your body, tensing every muscle before releasing, a wave growing twenty feet tall before crashing to shore.

Kendall fucked you through it, muttering words of encouragement, keeping the camera focused on you.

“Fuck, that was hot,” Kendall groaned, helping you lift your hips off him. He went to hand you your phone, before you stopped him.

“We’re not done yet,” you said, smiling. “You need to have your moment on screen too.”

Kendall rolled his eyes and laughed, but his cheeks blushed a tinge of pink, revealing how he actually felt.

You got down on your stomach, laying between his open legs.

“Watch me.”

Kendall’s eyes locked on yours as you took him into your mouth. You tasted yourself as you moved your mouth back and forth across his cock, using your hand to grip the base of it, twisting your fist while your mouth moved synchronously.

Kendall bucked upwards, pushing to the back of your throat, clearly unable to control himself. You choked around his dick, putting on a little bit of a show while tears fell from your eyes.

His orgasm rushed upon you suddenly, his head falling back to the mattress, free hand gripping your arm hard. The moan that escaped his lips made you shiver while his cum filled your mouth. You worked him through his crest and fall, swallowing at the end.

You pulled your mouth off Kendall, sitting up on your heels, smiling at how wrecked Kendall was. Grabbing the phone from him, you flipped the camera back to selfie mode before flopping down on the mattress beside him.

You brought your heads together in the frame on screen, leaning over to plant a kiss on his nose. He exhaled a shaky laugh, closing his eyes at the kiss.

You brought your phone back down to your chest, turning off the ‘recording’ button.

“Well, do you think you got what you needed?” he teased, rolling on his side to look at you.

He traced the freckles on your skin with his fingers while you looked at him.

“Yeah, baby, I think that was exactly what I needed.”

“Okay great, now text it to me, then put it in one of those secret folders.” He exclaimed, poking you square in your sternum.

You rolled your eyes, laughing, opening your phone to do just that.

#im depraved!#i cant help it!#kendall roy #kendall roy/reader #fan fiction #reader insert #succession fanfiction

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kinomitarbeiterin · 6 months ago

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The Apprentice (2024)

As a non-american person, I avoided all of the election noise until election day. I just couldn't watch the absurdity of Trump being an alternative again and felt that I had enough chaos in my life already. Then it was announced he won and I had to take it all in. Insanity to me, but I'm not american, so what do I know.

I finally felt like watching The Apprentice, which has been running in the cinema I work in for several weeks with a good amount of visitors. The main draw for me was the director, Ali Abbasi, who previously made Border (2018), which was weird and sweet and gross and sad. I haven't seen his other film Holy Spider (2022), but know it did well. So anyways, Border was my main reference to what this director could do. I think that's why I was a little bit disappointed in how "normal" The Apprentice was.

First of all, the performances were great. Sebastian Stan and Jeremy Strong are really impressive with their portrayals of Donald Trump and Roy Cohn. I thought the sound track was great, the visual style too, it really pulls you in to the times of the events. You get to see how Trump goes from being a kind of daddy's boy with little spine, to the protégé of the shady, hard-ass lawyer Cohn, to the man we know today. It's a character study, where the relationship between Trump and Cohn is at the center, exploring how the dynamic changes as Trump gets more and more success. Eventually, Trump is no longer an apprentice, but claims Cohn's teachings as his own ideas, particularly the three rules of his:

1) attack, attack, attack,

2) deny everything, admit nothing,

3) no matter what actually happens, always claim victory.

(Sounds like Cohn was inspired by Napoleon)

As someone who doesn't know much about Trump's background, I ended up spending much time wondering how close to reality this was meant to be. There were also some scenes that were surprisingly explicit and hard to watch (sexual assault and the plastic surgery stuff that was more gross than 'the substance').

In the end, my feeling was that I had watched a good film, but that I was missing some depth. There was a whole section after his success, where he doesn't need Cohn anymore and keeps pitching and building and showing off on TV, but I found this part kind of boring. It was when Cohn showed up again, this time in decline himself, that my interest was reignited. To me, Trump alone wasn't a very interesting watch, it was this duo. The film taps into some interesting topics, like the economic crisis, political corruption, the AIDS crisis, but still it fell a little flat to me, it could have used these elements even more I thought. It also felt a little like they weren't sure how to end the film, in fact, I've already forgotten how it did end.

All in all, this villain origin story was a good watch, although a little depressing when coming back to our present-day situation. I think my main issues with the film are with the structure and script, but I have to praise it for its strong sense of atmosphere and tone, impressive portrayals of real people, a sound design and soundtrack that pulls you in to the story, and a playful visual style to pull you in to the time setting. Also let's not forget the attention to detail, in particular Trump's show-stealing hair.

If I had been better prepared, I would have now pulled out a picture from when I was in NY in 2016 and flipped off the trump tower. Childish maybe, but I sadly share my birthday with this man, so it's personal.

#movie review #the apprentice #the apprentice movie #film review #cinema #movie watching #movies #sebastian stan #jeremy strong #ali abbasi

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forlornmelody · 2 years ago

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Outlaws, Chapter 2: Bad Things

Rating: Explicit (Smut, violence, drug addiction.)

Fandom: DC Comics, Titans (2018-2023) to be specific.

Ship: Jason Todd/Rose Wilson. Rose Wilson/Roy Harper. Jason Todd/Roy Harper, Rose Wilson/Artemis of Bana-Mighdall,

Summary: The road to redemption is fraught with twists and turns, especially when one has been to hell and back. Jason Todd swore he’d never work with a team again, but when a familiar foe shows up in Gotham, A.R.G.U.S. leaves him little choice.

Note: chapter titles are named for songs from my Outlaws playlist. This one is named for "Bad Things" by K.Flay

Link: here

It’s a terse day at Gotham National Bank. Their rival, Gotham Financial, got hit the week before. Their safes cleared out, their executives and security guards dead. It was only luck that the bank was closed for the day when the robbers hit. The customers don’t seem to notice, or care. Maybe it’s just Gotham. Risking your life running errands is the price of dirt-cheap rent, after all.

It’s a hot day at Gotham National Bank. The tellers sweat as they handle transactions, and the bankers wipe their foreheads as they instruct their clients to sign on the electronic pads. Somewhere on the roof, HVAC techs grumble as they work on the broken system, cruising the engineers who cut corners, again. Honestly, some Joker gas funneling through the fans would be a blessing in this weather, wouldn’t it?

But it’s not Joker gas that gets them this time.

BANG.

The heavy gold-plated doors slam open, and she enters shadowed by the blazing sun behind her. Her crimson hair glows as if on fire, and her green eyes simmer with fury. One teller hits the panic button with his toe, and another next to him watches as half a dozen security guards train their sights on her like a small army.

And an army is exactly what Poison Ivy wants.

She holds up her hands in mock surrender but keeps walking forward. A green mist, visible only for the sun shimmering in its wake, flies from her fingers.

At first, nothing happens.

But the security guard closest to the door, one week from his retirement party, has witnessed a Gotham bank robbery before. And he’s heard the stories of what that woman can do. He’s more disappointed that there’s not a kiss involved. He aims his gun at the guard next to him. That guard aims at the guard across the room–next to the vault. And then they all fire on each other.

The bank manager walks toward the vault, unperturbed by the screams of the customers and employees. “Right this way, Ivy.”

Her eyes flash. “Queen Ivy.”

—

Breathe in…2…3….4…out…2….3….4…5…6…and in…2..3…4

Jericho swears by this exercise. Says it gets him to sleep every night without a problem. Good for him.

Breathe in…2..3….4….ou–

There’s a knock at the door. Rose squints at her phone. Who the fuck knocks at 1 in the morning?

Yanking the door open, Rose says “Whatever it is, Roy. I’m not fucking–Jason??”

He smiles at her as if nothing has changed between them–that gentle smile that he seemed to save just for her–that soft smile that twists her gut into a knot. “Hey,” he says, barely above a whisper. “Can I come in?”

Rose–who always exists five seconds in the future, who always has a quip or a comeback at the ready–can’t find the words. She just opens the door and lets Jason Peter Todd just waltz right in. Like nothing ever happened. Like they never broke up. Like she never broke his nose. She should say something. Not just stare at him.

Jason’s taller now. He’s stopped putting gel in his hair–letting his curls have free reign. He’s still got that scar on his left temple–strange how the Lazarus Pit didn’t take it away. Rose starts thinking about the scars he’s got under his shirt…and below his belt before she can stop herself–focus. His eyes watch hers, and his soft smile turns into the slightest grin. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too.” The words fall from her lips before she can stop them. Fucking hell, Rose.

He closes in, one hand cupping her face and the other winding through her hair as he kisses her. Rose kisses back, her hands roaming across his shoulders, his back, his hips–only half-convinced he’s really there. She should come up for air, but she drowns in him instead.

“Did you?” Jason says playfully, tumbling into bed with her. “Did you miss this?” He murmurs, kissing her neck in that spot that makes her melt. “Or this?” Her tank flies off, and his. Planting gentle kisses on the tops of her breasts, he bats her hands away from his sweats. “Or this?”

Rose swallows, watching him trail kisses down her abs, to her shorts. Jason glances up at her mischievously, edging them down, letting his breath ghost across the wet spot on her panties. “Oh, you have.”

“Fuck you.”

“Mm, you first.” He snickers against the fabric, planting a few lingering kisses, peeling the soaked fabric off her skin. Jason breathes her in. “Fuck, you’re so wet.”

All she can do is whimper his name as he tastes her, slowly, gently worshiping the feel of her melting at his touch. Her fingers grip those soft curls as Jason picks up the pace, watching her with a knowing look in his eyes. Jason adds one finger, then another, easing them in and out, curling them just at the right spot. Rose arcs off the mattress, swearing. She’s so close–so close–

Just as she’s about to cum, Jason leans down to whisper in her ear. “Miss me?”

Rose shoots awake, panting for air, with every nerve on fire. The empty space next to her in the bed is as cold as ever. She almost reaches down to finish what her dream started but thinks better of it. Jason’s her teammate, again–she can’t be thinking about him like this. Not when he probably hates the air she breathes. And rightfully so. Cold shower it is.

Throwing on a hoodie, Rose stumbles out of her room. She turns to head down the hall towards the bathroom, only to collide someone’s hard chest. Rose recognizes the scent–Armani–musk with a barrage of tea-like flavors that just screams money–she used to give Jason so much shit for it. You’ve any idea how much I sweat in that fucking uniform? he’d snap back. In the end, Rose used to sleep next to the t-shirt she stole from his luggage, long after he left.

“Uh–” Rose grunts, looking up at his wide green eyes. Those same eyes that looked at her with desire just minutes before. The same eyes that glared at her with disgust when blood poured from his nose.

Jason staggers back. “Rose,” he whispers.

“Good night,” she mutters, darting around him before he can say anything else.

—----

“Another nightmare?” Artemis doesn’t look directly at Rose, just smirking at their reflections in the gym mirror.

“Shut up.” Rose wraps up her wrists, glowering right back at that smirk, wanting to wipe it right off.

“Make me.” She doesn’t even bother to turn around.

Rose doesn’t know what’s going to happen next, and she’s more than okay with that. Fuck the future. She charges at Artemis, swinging for her head.

Artemis doesn’t duck. She just turns, sweeping Rose off her feet with a well-aimed kick. Rose falls to her back on the mat. Okay, maybe she’s off her game. Get up, her dead father’s voice yells in her head. Tilting her hips up, Rose launches her legs, wrapping them around Artemis’s legs, bringing her down on top. Some of that fiery red hair falls from her bun, fanning around Rose’s head as they breathe each other’s air. “Answer the question, Rose.”

It’s Rose’s turn to smirk. “Make me.”

Artemis’s mouth crashes into hers. It’s all lips and teeth until Rose hooks her leg over hers, flipping them over so she’s on top. She grins down at her, digging her fingers into that red hair, biting down her neck in a fashion that’s sure to leave a mark. Shoving her hand up Rose’s sports bra, Artemis murmurs “What was it this time? Falling off a cliff? Murder chase?”

Goddammit. Rose bites her neck harder in reply, pressing the heel of her hand into Artemis’s shorts. “Fuck you.”

“That’s the idea.” Artemis rolls them over. “But maybe we should take this to my room?”

Gym. Right.

Rose answers by pulling Artemis up by a fistful of her crop top, dragging them both into the hallway, and into her room. The amazon locks the door behind her, smirking at Rose as she takes in the sight of her. “You are a mess, Wilson.”

Fuck, it feels good to be looked at like that. “And whose fault is that?”

“And I plan to make it worse.” Artemis presses forward, running her hands up and down Rose’s sides.

This time, Rose doesn’t have a comeback. Not a verbal one anyway. She slips her fingers underneath Artemis’s top, grinning at the goosebumps that rise across the amazon’s skin. Rose presses a kiss against her neck, tasting the salt her workout left behind, melting at the soft sound she makes.

Artemis pushes her to arm’s length, with one hand on Rose’s shoulder. She can’t help but admire the way it makes the amazon’s muscles flex. “What do you want from me?”

Rose shrugs her off and starts to kneel down, but that same arm catches her and holds her in place.

“Rose. What do you want from me?”

The question stops her short. To get Jason out of my head. But Rose has a feeling that answer won’t get her what she wants. She swallows, whispering. “I want you to use me.” Same difference.

Artemis’s eyes darken with want, and her fingers grip Rose’s chin, drinking in the sight of her. “As you wish.” She tugs Rose toward the bed, pushing her down with one arm against her shoulder. Rose falls onto the bed without fighting back, goosebumps traveling up her spine as she sees the amazon fish around in her bedside drawer. Kneeling on the bed, Artemis slings one muscular thigh on each side of Rose’s hips, her sweaty breasts right above Rose’s face as she ties her wrists to the headrest with silk scarves. “So you want to be used,” she says as she shimmies out of her gym shorts, and her boyshorts. “Why don’t I start with that smart mouth of yours, no?”

Rose wets her lips, her gut twisting as Artemis grabs the headrest behind her head and shifts forward so that her thighs straddle either side of Rose’s face. The musk of her cunt overwhelms her senses, and Rose drinks her in, licking wide circles around her already soaking lips.

“Stop teasing, Rose.”

“Mm,” Rose hums against her clit, catching the amazon off guard. Finally. She sucks on her clit, her own cunt throbbing as Artemis grinds against her mouth. Rose rubs her thighs, trying to relieve that itch, but the motion brings Artemis to a halt.

“Ah-ah. I didn’t say you could pleasure yourself.”

Rose swears under her breath, but she doesn’t beg, even when Artemis pulls back.

“You get to come when I say so. Not a moment sooner.” She unties the restraints from the bed, but not from Rose’s wrists. “Now turn over.” After Rose flips over onto her belly, Artemis leans over her, flush against her back, tying her wrists together. “But since you’re so desperate…”

Her heart quickens when she hears Artemis digging through the drawer again. And she watches with flushed cheeks as she pulls out a familiar leather harness and steps into it. “On your knees.” Artemis shifts on the bed, clicking the dildo into place. “Get it wet, won’t you?”

Oh, fuck. This isn’t helping. Well, it is helping Rose get wetter in her shorts, but her mind keeps wandering to another familiar cock, and how much she wants to suck it. Focus. Rose keeps her eyes open as she licks up and down the strap.

“I knew you were hungry.” Artemis gazes down at her with her own hunger in her eyes. Rose could get lost in those green eyes…which are almost the same shade of green as Jason’s. Not again. Rose takes the cock into her throat, relishing in the way Artemis swallows with want. She pushes Rose off hastily. She usually uses her words in scenarios like this one, but apparently Rose has her in a hurry, because her big strong arms maneuver Rose into position. “There,” she manages, grabbing Rose by the hips.

The strap-on slides so easily inside her, filling her in all the right places. “Mm.”

“Shh.” Artemis says, but a moan slips out to match hers.

Rose bites her lip, digging her fingernails into her palms to keep from begging when the amazon slowly pulls out, only to dive back in. She sees stars as she sets a brutal pace, hitting the angle just right. “Art–”

She growls. “I told you nn, not to talk.”

Rose does beg when she pulls out for good this time, rules be damned. Artemis grips her chin, meeting her eyes with furry and hunger. “Ah-ah.” She undoes her bindings. “You have to, mm, earn it.”

Without wasting any time, Rose dives in, adding a finger, then another, circling Artemis’s clit with her thumb. Her own cunt throbs, especially when Artemis starts swearing in Greek. Or is it Arabic? All Rose knows is she wants to hear more. The Amazon’s words dissolve into moans, then groans, and finally she buries her face into Rose’s shoulder as she trembles around her fingers with a breathy fuck.

Following a bead of sweat as it slips down Artemis’s tan shoulders, Rose sucks in a breath as the amazon’s fingers find her swollen clit. “Nng.”

“Mm.” Artemis barely brushes her, making Rose tremble. “How many more times are we going to do this, Rose?”

“Dunno, mm, what you’re talking about.”

Artemis leans over her, another finger circling the edge of her cunt. “Tearing each other apart at night. Ignoring each other during the day.”

Damnit. Rose is willing to say anything at this point for release. “Art–”

“Answer the question, Rose.”

“What do you want?”

“Tell me who has you flushed as red as my hair.” A finger slips inside her, and Rose’s hips buck off the bed. “Who has your heart.” She slips another in, and pumps Rose mercilessly, until she comes with a cry. “I know it isn’t me.”

When Rose comes to, Artemis is already in the shower next door. She grabs her clothes, worming into them in a hurry before the water stops.

—---

“Looking for beer?” Jason jumps out of his skin. Roy’s sitting on the counter on the other side of the fridge, munching on some chips and guac–freshly made guac by the look of it.

Looking back at what’s inside the fridge, Jason mutters. “Looks like you don’t have any.”

Roy flips a coin. Jason catches it by reflex. “Two years sober. Adeline keeps this place clean of the stuff.” Also by reflex, Jason flips over the sobriety coin to check for scratch marks. Not that Two-Face would ever use such a coin.

Closing the fridge, Jason levels with Roy as he folds his arms. “Do you?”

The ginger’s eyes look him over as he also folds his arms. “Do I what?” he says neutrally.

Jason’s not above flirting to get what he wants. Doesn’t matter who he’s flirting with. Hero. Villain. Girl. Guy. He closes in, leaning against the counter with one hand and jamming the other in his pocket. Jason almost sticks his hand in Roy’s back pocket but he thinks better of it–he could totally be misreading the situation here. Better keep his distance in case he gets punched. “C’mon. You gotta have your own stash somewhere,” he whispers, “right? Beer? Your own custom brew?”

Roy doesn’t look angry as he pulls away, just disappointed. “No, man. I don’t do that anymore.”

—-

Jericho’s paintings curves with blank paint when he hears a soft knock at his door. He sets the brush down but leaves Queen’s “Fat Bottom Girls” blaring in the background. Opening the door, he comes face to face with Donna’s bemusement.

“Realy, Jer?”

Shrugging, Jericho lets her in, doing his best to wipe the paint off his hands.

“What’ch’ya working on?”

Looking at the canvas with her, Jericho takes it in for the first time. He turns his body, waiting until she’s looking at him again before he signs. “I’m not really sure.”

Donna sits at his drawing table, clearing her throat. “I brought us some ginger beers. You like those, right?”

Jericho nods, taking one off her hands. He takes a gulp, then sets it aside. “Something wrong?”

She rolls the bottle between her hands as she picks her words. “We haven’t really talked since…”

“Since my father ran me through with a sword.”

Donna coughs. “Yeah.” It’s convenient that Jericho has so much art for her to look at it–she has trouble looking at him. She never saw his body–only took Dick’s word for what happened. As if Dick had ever been a reliable source of information–Donna tries to shake the thought off. That’s not what she’s here for. This room is more art studio than bedroom. The bed itself is neat and tidy, but it does nothing to draw attention to itself. The walls, however, disappear behind canvas after canvas, and the shelves holding his prolific music collection. The vintage turntable sits beneath them.

It’s only when Jericho switches brushes that Donna remembers herself. “So, you were trapped in his body for five years?”

“His mind, yeah.” His hands move in a flurry, Donna struggles to keep up as he describes Dick and Slade fighting–Rose stabbing him in poetic fashion–jumping from his father’s body to his sister’s.

Donna swallows hard. “That must have been hell.”

Jericho’s hands twitch as he stares at one painting in the corner. It’s splashes of orange, blue, and black, with a single red line spearing through the middle. “Worse than dying,” he signs finally.

“Sucks getting stuck, doesn’t it?” Donna worries her lip, thinking back to that train. How exhausted she always felt, but cold never sleep with the constant chugging along the never-ending rail, and the blare of the train horn. Watching so many people get to disembark, but never her. Not until Tim showed up.

A gentle hand shakes her shoulder. “You okay?” Jericho mouths when he finally has her attention.

“Yeah,” she smiles softly, sadly. “I am now.”

—-

“I’m telling you this is a bad idea.” Barbara Gordon, nonetheless, rolls her wheelchair down through the halls of Arkham Asylum.

“As bad as selling me out?” Jason shoots her a pointed look.

She barely spares him a glance. “I had nothing to do with that.”

“Bullshit.”

“She’s telling the truth. I pinged your location when you lured Shimmer’s goons to your hideout.”

That stops Jason short. He swears under his breath. “Didn’t realize you were tracking me.”

“We track everybody.” Jericho signs, stepping right through the security gate like he lives here. Roy is about to follow when he gets stopped by the guard.

“Sorry, no weapons.”

“You’ve gotta be kidding.” Donna hands over her lasso reluctantly. Roy sets down his bow and quiver. Rose shrugs, handing over her swords with a yawn.

Jason clears his throat. “You guys go on ahead. Gonna take me a moment.”

Donna rolls her eyes. “Don’t tell me you have one in your pants.”

“Wanna stick around and find out?”

Shaking her head, Barbara rolls on. “Whatever. Don’t take too long.”

They find her sprawled across her cot, her jumpsuit wrinkled and her red hair a frizzy mess. Her skin, clear of makeup, looks a little dry and pale.

Rose’s nose twitches. “You sure this is the right cell?”

“Yessirree–that’s Pamela Lillian Isley, as sure as I got mugged last Thursday.”

“You need to move out of Gotham, Gary.” Donna stops next to her, folding her arms. They still don’t talk, and Rose can’t blame her. And honestly? She didn’t mind until Jason showed up. The silence was peaceful before. Now it’s deafening.

Pamela Isley turns another page, and Roy clears his throat. She shifts out of her reclining position, her eyes registering them all for the first time. Her gaze lingers on Donna’s lasso. “Wasn’t me.” And then she goes back to her book.

“Pamela Isley, we don’t have all day.”

She snaps her book shut. “Doctor Pamela Isley. And like I said, it wasn’t me.”

Barbara fans out a handful of snapshots of the crime scene, leveling her with an icy stare. “Alright, Doctor. Explain these.”

Pamela quirks an eyebrow, slowly leaning forward to peruse the grisly crime scene. Corpses with fungi growing out of each pore, and any exposed skin. Decomposed as if they had been sitting out in the woods for months, not hours. “You came all the way down here to talk to a botanist?” She laughs. “Surely Gotham U. has replaced me five times over by now.” Turning away, Pamela picks up her book again. “Go bother one of them.”

Artemis looks ready to knock it right out of her hands. Roy pushes her back. Artemis swats him off. Barbara rubs her forehead like she needs more scotch in her coffee.

And that’s when Jason finally shows up.

“Where’s your helmet?” Jericho signs.

“Oh, that?” Jason shrugs, wearing his old domino mask in its place. “It has a bomb inside, so they made me leave it behind.”

“You have a bomb in your helmet?” Donna stares at him incredulously.

“In case someone tries to take it off.”

Pamela freezes in the middle of turning a page. Her head turns slowly, taking him in for the first time. Eyes widening, she whispers “Kid!?”

Jason’s head whips around to face her. “Ivy! How’s it going? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Sitting up again, Pamela stares at him. “Maybe I have.” She sucks on her teeth. “Heard you were dead.”

“I got better.” He brushes past Donna to get closer to the bars. “Whatchya readin’ there?”

“Nothing. Just a book I got from the–hey!”

Jason pulls the book back through the bars, opening the front cover. “To my prettiest Daffodil, love Harls. XO.” He turns the book sideways. “Actually, there are a lot of XOs.” Enough to fill up the rest of the page and the next.

Ivy looks ready to strangle him.

He smiles disarmingly. “How’s Harley doing, by the way?”

Barbara grimaces, motioning for him to drop it. Jericho pales.

She snarls. “That supposed to be funny?” For once, Jason has nothing to say. “She’s been gone for months.”

Jason softens, pulling up a chair across from her. “What happened?”

Chewing her lip, Ivy answers, “Don’t know, really. Except that some feds waltzed in that day and waltzed back with her.”

“Feds? Like the FBI?”

Roy stiffens. Jericho exchanges a glance with him.

“No. Something else. Had a weird symbol on their shoulder pads.” Ivy narrows her eyes as she searches her brain. “Kind of looked like an A.”

“A.R.G.U.S.,” Barbara whispers.

Ivy’s head whips to face her. “Argus? What the hell is Argus?”

Jason grins, leaning his elbows on Ivy’s table. “Tell me what’s in these pictures, and I’ll tell you.” Leaning closer, he murmurs. “I’ll even tell you where she is.”

“You don’t kn–” Donna starts to say incredulously, only to have Rose cut her off with a hand on her mouth.

“Uh-uh. “I want coordinates, a date, and time.” Ivy folds her arms. “For all I know you could be feeding me old information.”

“Done,” Jason says without hesitating.

Jericho tugs on Rose’s sleeve. “Can he do that?” he signs.

Rose would kill for her precog to start working again. But something in her gut trusts what Jason’s doing.

Leaning toward Jason, Ivy smiles salaciously. “When are we leaving?” She chuckles at Bab’s glare. “These could be any number of species. To know what they really are, I have to see them in person.”

#melody writes #outlaws #dc comics #jason todd #rose wilson #jayrose #rose/artemis #jayroy #harlivy #poisonquinn #titans

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ozu-teapot · 2 years ago

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Films Watched in April 2023

Fargo | Joel Coen / Ethan Coen | 1996

Le plein de super (Fill 'er Up with Super) | Alain Cavalier | 1976

Angel's Egg | Mamoru Oshii | 1985

The Anniversary | Roy Ward Baker / Alvin Rakoff | 1968

Punk Samurai Slash Down | Gakuryû Ishii | 2018

Abel (AKA Voyeur) | Alex van Warmerdam | 1986

Suicide Club | Sion Sono | 2001

Blank Generation | Ulli Lommel | 1980

Behind Her Eyes | TV | Erik Richter Strand | 2021

The Strange Case of the End of Civilization as We Know It | Joseph McGrath | 1977

The Sunday Woman | Luigi Comencini | 1975

Enys Men | Mark Jenkin | 2022

Electric Dragon 80.000 V | Gakuryû Ishii | 2001

La cicatrice intérieure (The Inner Scar) | Philippe Garrel | 1972

Ava | Léa Mysius | 2017

The Fall | TV | Allan Cubitt / Jakob Verbruggen | 2013 - 2016

Films Watched in May 2023

The Devil's Trap | Frantisek Vlácil | 1962

The Week Starts on Friday (Short) | Elmar Klos | 1962

Beauty and the Beast | Juraj Herz | 1978

Frantisek Hrubín (Short) | Tomás Skrdlant | 1964

The People Next Door | David Greene | 1970

Celia | Ann Turner | 1989

Renfield | Chris McKay | 2023

Luminous Procuress | Steven Arnold | 1971

Dragon's Return | Eduard Grecner | 1968

The Man on the Roof | Bo Widerberg | 1976

Coach to Vienna | Karel Kachyna | 1966

She Dies Tomorrow | Amy Seimetz | 2020

Justine | Stewart Mackinnon | 1976

Yakuza Graveyard | Kinji Fukasaku | 1976

The Bride Wore Black | François Truffaut | 1968

The Haunting of Julia | Richard Loncraine | 1977

The End of the F***ing World | TV | Various | 2017-2019

Yellowjackets | Season 2 | TV | Various | 2023

The Cat Creeps | Erle C. Kenton | 1946

Me, Natalie | Fred Coe | 1969

Bold = Top Ten

Some notes: I’ve been going through one of those periods where I just wasn’t feeling it maaaan with regards to films and tumblr. Other things consumed my attention (Auriel's Bow isn't going to fetch itself from the Forgotten Vale) and at times it felt a struggle to watch and post. Still...

Anyway here’s one of those fancy two month Film Logs last seen in August/September 2022 only this time there’s a Top Ten compiled from both months. A few TV things make it into the list. I’m sometimes unsure about putting TV in the *Film* Log but The End of the F***ing World is great and I was very taken with Behind Her Eyes because it actually surprised me in the direction it took, such an unusual experience nowadays, plus the two female leads were very attractive. Hey, I’m only human, like Phil Oakey.

#Film Log #Skyrim

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tartt9 · 2 years ago

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who is jamie fucking tartt, anyways? // a guide to the public's knowledge on richmond's #9, divided into three sections: non-football watcher, casual watcher, football fan

for the non-football watcher //

• you'd probably know of jamie as a footballer the way people would know of haaland or kane or saka. he's not beckham-level famous [ yet ] but he is a big deal in english football and very talented • if you're a reality tv watcher, your primary exposure to jamie would be his stint on the uk's number one show, lust conquers all. on lust, jamie very much played up a prick attitude, very much the smug sort of guy who knows he's sexy and will talk about it. he cheated on amy [ who he'd proposed to in a bathroom ] with denise by having jacuzzi sex, leading to his elimination from the show. • if you're from manchester, there's drama around him - he left man city two weeks into the 2020-21 season to do lust conquers all. united fans already disliked him, but jamie's abandonment of city led to pretty widespread dislike of him in his hometown. • if nothing else, if you find yourself around richmond with no knowledge of the team/jamie, he's loud, bubbly, bright - a very different person than he was on lust conquers all. you might see him kicking a ball around with kids on the richmond green, or chasing around a dog to wear it down for their owner, or training with roy kent [ who is a beckham-level big deal. you would know of roy kent ] and talking his ear off while he does names you'd know - roy kent [ current richmond manager, very fucking famous ], zava [ formerly of many teams, a striker, very fucking famous. played in america his last season (2022-23), with lafc ].

casual football watcher //

everything up ^^ there, plus... • jamie tartt is richmond's #9. he played striker while on loan with richmond in 2019-20 and is now a midfielder. he's from manchester and grew up in the manchester city academy system, making his premier league debut young. he plays for england and has begun to make himself a regular in the three lions' xi. • he played under pep guardiola for multiple years, and was a part of the premier league winning teams in 2017-18 and 2018-19. • he left manchester city to do lust conquers all, and was not welcome back to city. he rejoined the world of football with richmond while they were in the championship. they earned their promotion that season and returned to the premier league. • they were not expected to do well in the premier league, but after a shift of strategy after zava's departure from the club in 2021, richmond ended the season on a long win streak to finish second in the premier league, qualifying for richmond's first-ever run in the champions league. • jamie has won premier league player of the month twice and goal of the month three times. • jamie's got something going on with roy kent. he never fails to lavish praise on his manager when he's given the opportunity, despite kent's stubborn demeanor. • if you're an american, you may know ted lasso, richmond's former manager. he went viral for dancing in the locker room after leading his division ii wichita state shockers to the d2 championship game and winning the division ‎‎‎• ‎‎subnote to that^^ even more intense d1 college football watchers would probably only know him as the meme. d2 college football is not widely consumed in america - i'm an avid cfb watcher, and i couldn't tell you without googling who won d2 last year. names you'd know - sam obisanya [ richmond midfielder & nigeria international ] // isaac mcadoo [ richmond captain & centre back ] // dani rojas [ richmond striker & mexico international ]

football fan //

everything up there ^^ plus... • jamie has a lifelong hatred of manchester united. he will play harder in those matches, and he scored a hat trick against them at richmond in early 2023. • jamie grew up on a council estate, and was recruited for man city's academy when he was 8, starting with them when he was 9. • jamie wore 51 at city for all of the years he played there. • jamie's city senior debut was in 2015, when he was 17 years old, and he played with them from 2015 through 2020, when he left to do lust conquers all. • jamie was loaned to afc richmond for the 2019-20 season, where he made a name for himself. his chant is sung to the tune of baby shark. he scored 11 goals for richmond, keeping them solidly mid-table, until ted lasso's arrival. • his loan was cut short in february 2020, and he returned to city to play the rest of the season with his home club. • richmond was relegated to the championship after the 2019-20 season when jamie made an assist in stoppage time with man city to end the match 2-1, city. • jamie's return to richmond was not without controversy - he was hotheaded and kept the ball more often than he passed it while he was on loan. his relationship with his teammates was tumultuous at best, downright bad at worst. on the first match day of his return, afc richmond mounted a protest against their main sponsor, dubaiair. richmond lost that match, leading to the end of an 8-week tie streak. • jamie has publicly been very supportive of his teammates since then, especially in more recent years. he frequently ends games with an assist or more to his name, and is widely regarded as the central cog of richmond's team. • jamie wears 24 when he isn't starting for england, a tribute to sam obisanya. • jamie grew up a roy kent fan, and many of his plays mimic roy's from roy's prime. • jamie's england debut was in 2022, at age 24. • jamie is transitioning into playing more midfield for england, though their gaffer has commented in the past that jamie 'doesn't have the skillset to play centrally for england'. when in the xi, jamie typically wears the 7 or 8, though he has worn the 11 a handful of times, too - showing his dynamic ability to play just about any spot on the pitch. • as of october 2023, jamie has three assists and one goal for england, and is on the hunt for more. • jamie is a player with a mind for the game unlike most others', regularly seeing the game two to three passes ahead of where it is. he can play box-to-box incredibly efficiently, and has saved more than one goal from going in. he's a hard worker and always seems to be enjoying himself on the pitch during hard-fought games, though he has been publicly dismayed at hard losses before, such as a 5-0 loss to city in the fa cup semifinal in 2021. • he has a summer football camp in manchester named after him that he sponsors, providing free boots, shin guards, and other equipment to the kids who grew up like he did, without many resources but with a love of the game, and helps them get in front of academy recruiters. jamie is frequently seen training with these kids during his summer break. • as of present day, it's public record that jamie donates money to domestic violence, sexual abuse, and women's charities, as well as the nhs names you'd know - ted lasso [ former richmond gaffer ] // nathan shelley [ former west ham gaffer, current richmond assistant ] // the rest of richmond's regular starting xi, listed on my carrd // paddy o'gara [ former manchester city centre back, a mentor of jamie's ]

#headcanons !#i have brainrot can you tell yet #if you ever want more knowledge than this feel free to ask !!! i will expound !!!!

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catherineflowers29 · 11 months ago

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SUMMER FOR SICKOS - JULY 12TH ROUND-UP

I started a new thread for the end of this week; find the previous one here.

Yesterday, we were blessed with two new fanworks, the first of which was the first chapter of a fantastic romangerri end of the world AU. Can't recommend Before All The Water Disappears enough, and I can't wait to read more.

Before All The Water Disappears (1381 words) by Anonymous Chapters: 1/3 Fandom: Succession (TV 2018) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Gerri Kellman/Roman Roy Characters: Gerri Kellman, Roman Roy Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Apocalypse, Summer For Sickos, Developing Relationship, Post-Canon, First Kiss, Implied/Referenced Character Death, What If Roman Had One Of Those Rich People Prepper Ranches, And He Brought Gerri Along, Falling in Love at the End of the World, Angst and Romance Summary: There is only so long that supplies are going to last, Gerri knows, being the one to take charge of inventorying the stocks the first day she had arrived, before they will have to admit defeat here. Roman knows it too, she thinks, though neither one of them has said a word about it. It’s in his eyes, though, a twitch of desperation she hasn’t seen since the morning he had come to get her out of the city. Roman and Gerri at the end of the world.

The second was also our second piece of romangerri artwork. It's cute and naughty and totally fabulous. I know you will love vacation days as much as I do.

Remember that the Summer For Sickos Collection is open on AO3 until Aug 31st. For details and posting instructions, please see this post!

#gerri kellman #roman roy #romangerri #succession fic #fan art #succession #fanfic #summer for sickos #fic recs

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belmottetower · 2 years ago

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Do you think Jamie may have had a prior, more typical loan period? With Cole, you mention the possibility of multiple loans and if Jamie had a loan in the 18/19 season, his age at the time of loaning makes more sense. I tend to put his birthday in the first week of 1997, which would make him about six months older than Cole at the time of hypothetical loaning. And purely theoretical and for fun, any favourite Championship club to send him to?

This is referring to things from my earlier loan ask, so linking that here.

Interesting! There is nothing in the show to indicate that Jamie did go on an earlier loan, but also nothing to indicate he didn't (aside from the fact they never mention it.) But it's definitely a possible idea, because this is very much a real thing. Sometimes players go on several years worth of loans, one after the other to a few different clubs. And you're right, Richmond could be the last in a series of loans for Jamie that started when he was younger.

Man City currently have some of their young contracted players on loan to clubs in lower leagues, players who haven't had any appearances in the senior side. They've currently loaned to Sheffield United and Burnley (both recently promoted to the Prem with the help of City loanees playing in the starting line up,) Blackburn Rovers, Preston North End, Coventry City, Stoke City. Bolton Wanderers is a League One club they loan to. A number of the boys on loan are in the position you are talking about, where they've had two or three loans in a row. Taylor Harwood-Bellis for example has been at Blackburn Rovers, Anderlecht in Belgium, Stoke City, then Burnley this past season. Or Tommy Doyle, who has been at Hamburger SV, Cardiff City, then Sheffield United. (As discussed in the earlier post, he wasn't allowed to play against Man City when Sheffield faced them in the semi-final of the FA Cup.)

There's nothing to really imply that Jamie did bounce around on loan, it does feel like it's something they would tell us. But it absolutely is a possibility and could make for a really interesting idea in a fic. I don't know if I have a club preference for an earlier loan for Jamie but City tend to loan to Northern clubs these days and I'd probably keep Jamie in the North, within an hour of Manchester or something. I'd probably put him in a smaller, slightly more boring city or town, somewhere less huge and vibrant than Manchester. He's very urban and I would probably remove that from him for story reasons. I'd probably dig into what clubs were in what league for the 18-19 season, and who was managing what clubs or playing for them, and see if there was something interesting in "real football" that I wanted to connect Jamie to. Maybe Bolton, because they were managed by Phil Parkinson that season and I know his personality from Welcome to Wrexham. Though, they were also relegated at the end of that season, so maybe not. That doesn't look so good for Jamie's "rising star" story.

Actually I think my answer is Derby County. They did okay in 2018-19. Mason Mount was on loan to them that season from Chelsea and he's one player Phil Dunster has said Jamie shares the playing style of, so say we get rid of Mase and send Jamie to Derby in his place. Then we have Scott Carson, who is currently the very old (for football) Man City third goalie, who never plays any games but is a massive figure in their dressing room and and in training, he keeps people very happy and high spirited, he's always talked about as being an amazing guy who everyone loves. He was Derby County's starting goalie during that season.

And the manager of Derby County that season was Frank Lampard. I don't believe he exists in Lasso-verse, I think he and John Terry both don't exist and instead are replaced by Roy and Some Other Guy that Roy famously had a Chelsea partnership with. Because we know Roy was the long term captain like Terry, that's what his homecoming moment is based on in 3.02, John Terry coming back to the Bridge when assistant managing Villa. But he was a defender whereas Lampard is the legend in Roy's position, box to box midfielder. So instead of Lampard and Terry, there was Kent and… That Guy. But that fake guy who was Roy's really good friend? He can be the manager. We would have Jamie playing under Roy's Old Mate and fishing for Roy stories, and maybe having some level of friendship develop with Scott Carson that he would carry back to City, once Jamie returns to City after Richmond.

Edit: Lampard, in real life, played his final Premier League season for Man City (14-15) so Fake Lampard may have been aware of Jamie even from that time, Jamie would have been 18 and just signed the senior pro contract. Lampard then went on to play his final season of football full stop in America, so maybe that's where Roy got that idea that he says to Ted in season one, from his old friend Fake Lampard. Lots of fun connections between Jamie, Roy and Fake Lampard!

#jamie tartt #roy kent #ted lasso meta

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lovesosweeet · 2 years ago

Text

better left unsaid // cth

chapter 8

in which orion has leukemia, and calum doesn't know.

calum hood x fem!oc

read other chapters

july 23, 2018 los angeles, california orion

Just over a week before the band leaves for tour, Calum and I wake up at an early hour again due to a phone ringing, except this time, it’s his phone. He’s a lighter sleeper than I am, so when it starts to ring, he turns on the lamp on his nightstand and picks it up.

Unlike me, he does put his phone on Do Not Disturb, but he has notifications from certain people come through at any time. The list is me (obviously), his parents, Mali, the band, and Roy. If it’s this early and his phone is ringing, it’s someone who actually needs to reach him.

“Hello?” His croaky morning voice asks.

I hear faint murmuring from the other end of the call.

“Yeah, sure, I’ll cover for you.”

More murmuring.

“No worries.”

Murmuring.

“Yeah, love you too Ash.”

He hangs up, chucks his phone back onto the nightstand, and turns the light back off.

“Everything okay?” I ask while he snuggles back up to me, burying his face in my hair.

“He’s gonna stay at the hospital with Kay today. Asked me to cover for him with Matt.”

“He could’ve texted that…” I mumble, flipping onto my stomach to try to sleep that way now.

“Shh,” Cal whispers, tightening his grip around my waist.

—

We wake up for real a few hours later, and the first thing I do is send a text to KayKay.

To: KayKay

hi 💕 hope you’re doing okay. please let me know if you need anything!

She’s one of the few people I know who leaves her read receipts on, and I watch the status change from delivered to read almost instantly, but the bubble that says she’s typing never appears. I don’t expect a reply, but I am glad to know she’s at least read the message.

“Want me to make you a coffee?” I turn to Cal to ask. I don’t read the texts, but I see he’s texting Ashton on his phone.

He turns his head and presses a kiss to my cheek. “Sure, baby. That’d be great.”

I nod and kiss his cheek back before I throw the blankets off myself, careful not to expose Calum to the air in the process. I trudge to the kitchen, Duke trotting after me. I turn on the espresso machine to let it heat up and then scoop Duke’s breakfast into his bowl for him. Opening the fridge, I find the little baggie of unseasoned, boiled chicken pieces that I always ask Cal to set aside when he cooks. While I don’t eat meat, I’d never expect Duke to also be vegetarian, so I try to sneak some extra bonuses into his bowl like actual chicken. I throw a few chunks of the chicken into his bowl while he eats, and he immediately inhales them, preferring the fresh food to his kibble.

Once Duke is fed, I get out the oat milk for our coffees. Cal may not like sweetness in his coffee, but I do, so I also grab a syrup to put in mine. Today’s choice is salted vanilla, a flavor I’d bought at a local LA shop.

I scoop the espresso grounds into the basket and place our cups under the extractors, switching the machine mode to start brewing. The caramel-colored froth comes out a few seconds later, and I watch until the cups are filled to the right line before I shut the machine off.

Just as I’m scooping the ice into our cups, a sleepy Cal shuffles into the kitchen, a small smile playing at his lips when he sees me.

“If it isn’t my favorite barista,” he says, walking up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist. “What flavor did you do today?”

“Salted vanilla.”

I stick a glass straw in each of our cups — blue for him and green for me — and turn around to hand him his glass. He takes his and taps it against mine.

“Salud.”

Ever since that first night, we’ve never said cheers, nor have we mentioned it to each other that we’d only ever say salud. It’s just an unspoken rule, and I love it. He even signed his first card to me with it, since it was before we said ‘I love you.’

“Why does this one taste so good?” Cal asks, sipping his latte quickly.

I laugh. “I ordered this espresso from some roaster in DC that makes it taste like chocolate chip cookies.” It was a very targeted Instagram ad and I purchased it immediately.

“Will you send me the name of it? Maybe when we stop in DC I can get some, and I could maybe get you a t-shirt or something from there.”

“Yeah, I’ll text it to you later,” I agree. “But also you don’t need to get me anything. Just bring yourself back home.”

Calum rolls his eyes. “I’m gonna bring you something back home.”

I just laugh. “Okay, as long as that something is you.”

“You’re infuriating, you know that?”

“My specialty!”

Slurping up the last few drops of his latte, he glares at me with his still sleepy eyes. “No, you have many specialties, but being infuriating is not one of them.”

I smile. I’m curious to see what he’ll come up with on the spot. “Please, tell me what my many specialties are!”

“Hmm,” he starts. “Being an enneagram 2, finding the weirdest coffees to order, and being 5 feet tall but still intimidating.”

He makes me laugh so much I have to put down my coffee. “I am not intimidating!”

“Your fight with Mike the other night begs to differ.”

“That doesn’t count!”

“I think it does!”

I scoff, grabbing my coffee and walking to the couch, Calum following me instantly, trailing behind me like Duke does. “That wasn’t even a real fight.”

Plopping down next to me on the couch, Cal giggles. “It was so funny though.”

“I’m glad you found my distress amusing.”

“So it was a fight?”

I fight the urge to shove his shoulder and instead choose to roll my eyes. “Y’know, I was gonna offer to make you breakfast too, but you’re not being very nice to me this morning.”

Calum gasps. “But you always make me breakfast! I don’t even know how to make eggs the way you do.”

He gives me sad, puppy-like eyes.

“Then you should’ve thought about that before you called me intimidating.”

His mashes his lips together and his eyes narrow in an annoyed glare. “It’s not necessarily a bad thing!”

Instead of continuing the conversation, I flip him off and get off the couch again. I’m hungry, and too tired to play-argue with Cal much more. In the kitchen, I get out the eggs we have in the fridge and some of the frozen hashbrown patties from the freezer, setting the eggs by the stove and tossing three of the hashbrowns into the air fryer.

When I turn on the stove, I realize I’d forgotten the chili crisp in the fridge, but apparently Cal followed me again and hands it to me when I turn around to walk back to the fridge. I narrow my eyes at him. “So you do know how to make the eggs?”

He avoids looking me in the eye. “I will neither confirm nor deny.”

Frustratedly, I sigh. “Get me the green onions too, please.”

With Calum watching me the whole time, I make the breakfast that we have almost every morning together. It’s chili crisp fried eggs with green onions, cheese, hashbrowns, avocado, and ranch dressing. Honestly, I don’t know if he really likes it that much. It’s just been a hyper-fixation meal that I’ve not gotten tired of yet, and it’s easy to make, so it’s become part of my routine. Cal hasn’t complained about it, so I assume he likes it enough.

We eat breakfast in comfortable silence, both of us on our phones while we sit at the bar in our kitchen. I think Calum is answering work-related texts and emails, but I’m emailing with the deans of my majors and my advisor explaining my situation for the semester and trying to determine the best plan for me. Neither one of us really ever looks at the other’s phone, so I don’t feel too concerned that he’d look over and read what I’m typing.

“What are you gonna do today?” Calum breaks our silence.

I’m going back to see Dr. Harris today to discuss the biopsy, and Emelia is picking me up again to join me. Of course, I won’t be saying that to Calum.

“I think Em and I might just hang at her place. Maybe bake some cookies or something,” I say, coming up with a believable cover. We probably will also hang at her place. One of her roommates who’d sublet her room for the summer is back, so it’ll be nice to see her again.

“Be careful, don’t get too sick of Em before she’s your only friend in LA!” He’s joking, somewhat. I have other friends in LA, but not a ton that I spend time with regularly, especially not one on one.

“I think I’ll try to make plans with Macy sometime soon. She seems cool!” I’d asked her on Saturday how long she’d be in LA, and her answer, more or less, was that she’s here indefinitely, or at least for a full gap year.

Cal nods in agreement. “Yeah, and it’ll be nice to just know someone who lives so close. You guys also have so much randomly in common, it's like you were meant to enter that elevator at the same time."

I'm not a big 'manifestation' girl, nor am I religious or all that well versed in astrology, but I do believe in the universe putting things in your path that are meant for you. It put me and Calum at Space Monkey on the same night. It assigned me to the same freshman seminar as Emelia. It gave me to my parents. For whatever reason, Macy and I were meant to meet that morning.

"I think so."

Once we finish eating, Calum takes our plates to the sink and starts to wash up. That's part of our deal: if I cook, he cleans up. It's unspoken. We've never explicitly talked about it, but it happens that way and always has. Our habits have always just kind of slotted perfectly together. We aren't exactly the same, but where one of us falls short, the other picks it up.

After the kitchen is clean, Cal and I take Duke on a quick walk around the neighborhood, letting him sniff as much as he wants to tire him out. Per usual, we end up running into a fan. It doesn't happen every day, and sometimes not even every week, but it is still quite common. I don't mind, though. I get it. I get why people love him and 5SOS. I try to always offer to take the photo for them and take as many as I possibly can from the moment their phone is in my hand.

It's always so sweet to watch them interact, Cal always thanking them for their support and the fans so nervous and usually caught off guard by seeing him while on their own walk. On a very rare occasion, they ask for me to be in the photo, but I always feel so awkward and out of place being in it. I'm not famous for anything, nor do I want to be. I just happen to be in love with someone who is.

Cal wishes the fan a good day and we walk back home, passing Ron at the start of his shift (I promise to send a coffee down with Cal when he leaves shortly) and then we take the stairs up to our apartment to give Duke some extra exercise. We get changed in our clothes for the day. Cal's in another gym shorts and old t-shirt combo, and I'm wearing some bright green bike shorts with one of Cal's t-shirts. I had to beg him to leave me a few when he leaves, since I mostly just wear his t-shirts instead of my own. Once I'm dressed, I quickly make a coffee for Ron in the kitchen.

"It'll probably be a short one today, since Ash won't be there. Wanna grab some tacos by the beach tonight and watch the sunset?"

I gasp quietly, absolutely loving the idea instantly. Watching sunsets is one of my favorite things to do, and there's a really good vegetarian taco truck that tends to be at a beach access not too far from our apartment. "Yes! Oh my god, that's the best idea you've ever had."

He laughs. "I wouldn't go that far, but I figured it'd be something you'd like to do. I'll grab a bottle of wine on my way home too."

"You're just being nice since you're leaving me," I tease. It's not true — Cal is always this sweet and thoughtful, coming up with random plans that he thinks I'll like, bringing me ramen when I feel shitty, leaving sticky notes that have little messages on them around the apartment.

"I'm being nice because I love you and I'm your boyfriend."

"I love you too," I say. "I am now very much looking forward to tonight."

He grins, the crinkles by his eyes showing up. "Me too. I should get going though, gotta sweeten Matt up to not get pissed about Ash not coming today."

He closes the space between us and pulls me into a hug, squeezing me tightly. I squeeze him back right before I crane my neck to be able to kiss him. He meets me halfway, since I'm only so tall, pressing his lips against mine, and he doesn't let me pull away — not that I really want to. I gently wind my hand into his hair and trail my other one up and down his arm. Cal's hands pinch my waist before he pulls away, but then he gives me one last peck.

"Okay, I gotta go," he starts. "As much as I'd like to continue this."

I pout. "Okay. Have a good day, and let me know when you're heading home?"

"Of course. Love you." He steps away from me, but my hand is still on his arm, so it slides down until I grab onto his hand, giving it a final squeeze before I drop it.

"I love you too."

Then he actually leaves, grabbing some random sneakers from the closet and walking out of the apartment with the coffee I made for Ron in his hand. Once he's gone, I go back to the kitchen to make myself another coffee. Ash's early wakeup call is really messing with my energy, and I want to keep busy before the appointment. While I'm making mine, I check Emelia's location. She's on her way here, so I make one for her too.

I'm anxious about the appointment, but I'm just trying to not think about it. It's weird, knowing that I have cancer but just don't know how bad it is. It's like I know the punch is coming. The fist is right in front of my face. I just don't know if it's a knockout or a black eye.

Just as I'm adding the ice to our coffees, she texts that she's here. I grab our drinks, slip on my Birkenstocks, and head out.

"Have a good day, Ron!" I call as I hurry through the lobby.

Em's car is out front, hazards blinking just like last time. Except this time, when I get in the car, she isn't horrendously mad at me.

"Howdy," she cheerily says when I get in.

"Howdy," I say back, laughing. "Made you a coffee."

As she pulls out into the street, she glances at the cupholders for a split second, smiling when she sees the two cups. "I knew I chose you as my best friend for a reason."

I laugh, grabbing my cup to take a sip. "You wanted a best friend to drive to an oncology appointment who brings you a coffee?"

The words come out before I've really processed what I'm saying, and then the silence in the car feels deafening. Way for me to make it awkward.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have said that," is how I try to soften the quietness.

Em takes a drink from her coffee. "It's fine. I know this whole thing is just... weird. And hard."

I blow out a puff of air. Weird and hard are definitely two words we could use. I don't know what else to say now, so the rest of our ride to the hospital is nearly silent. She plays her favorite — Taylor Swift — and she sings along quietly.

When we get to the hospital, it goes just like it did last time. The check in girl is overly cheery, I sign some papers, and we wait for a few minutes, and then Russell calls us back. He doesn't bother using any niceties like 'good to see you again' because I'm sure he's well aware it's not a very joyous occasion.

Em and I wait in the sterile exam room, waiting for the punch to hit. Dr. Harris walks in and my anxiety spikes. I can feel my heart racing, and I know part of that is the fault of the caffeine I've had this morning.

Dr. Harris says good morning and takes a seat on her rolling chair, just like last time. Russell stays standing by the door that he closes behind himself, a tablet in his hands that he taps around on.

"I don't want to waste your time," is how Dr. Harris starts our conversation.

I gulp, even though my mouth is incredibly dry.

"Orion, your leukemia is in Stage Three."

The air in my lungs goes out and none comes back in. My eyes unfocus and my vision goes blurry. I'd done enough research in the past few weeks. There's no cure for leukemia generally, but once you're in stage three, you're coming down to crunch time. Stages zero through two, you can live seven or more years. You can still have a life.

It's stage three. The end feels like it's in sight. It is and it isn't, I guess.

It's ending, though. We're all running towards the finish line, mine is just closer than it should be at 21 years old.

When I break out of my daze, I realize my tears are falling quickly, streaming down my face in tiny waterfalls. I'm not sobbing. There are no noises coming from me, just so many tears building and falling simultaneously.

"We're going to start you on chemotherapy next week. We have an aggressive treatment plan for you, aiming to give you as much time as we can. We're already in the process of trying to find you a bone marrow transplant match, if that's something that we determine is beneficial for you."

I glance over and see Emelia is crying too, except she's quietly whimpering. Instantly I imagine my parents' faces, my brother's, and, of course, Calum's. The thought of seeing him crumble like this physically hurts. My chest aches, imagining him feeling the way Emelia and I feel right now. I already feel horrible, knowing the way this will impact Emelia's life, and everyone else's life. I am so scared to wreak such havoc on everyone's lives. I don't want them to hurt this much.

I don't want to hurt this much.

Dr. Harris rattles off more about the treatment plan, handing me a brochure about the chemotherapy drug they've selected for me, and on the back of it is a list of dates and times for the appointments that I'll come in for treatment over the next several months.

She says to call if we have any questions, understanding that right now isn't a good time for us to actually say anything or ask questions. Once her spiel is over, she says that we can take our time leaving, and they are going to check me out at the desk so we don't have to stop on our way out. Dr. Harris also has Russell bring me a pack of Oreos again, even though I didn't pass out today. I don't say anything, not even 'thank you' when he hands me the cookies.

Emelia is silent, too.

I'm not sure how long we both sit there crying, but eventually I realize how thirsty I am. I don't want to ask anyone for water. I don't want to speak to anyone. I want to go home and drink a gallon of water so I can cry it out and drink more and cry it out again.

"Can we leave?" I croak.

She takes a deep breath. "Yeah."

We both just look at each other, and the next thing I know, I'm laughing. Not a lot, and not loudly, but I'm laughing, and so is Em. Maybe I'm hysterical.

"God this is so fucked," she breathes out.

I laugh again. "I know."

Neither one of us has stopped crying, but the tears have subsided enough that I can see when we walk out. Em and I walk with our arms linked together, both of us wiping our eyes periodically so tears aren't just rolling freely. The LA sun outside is harsh, but the warmth is nice opposed to the cold, sterile hospital room.

Em unlocks her car as soon as we can see her rear bumper in the parking lot. I'm caught off guard when I hear someone calling my name.

"Orion!"

It's Ashton.

"Orion! Emelia! Guys, wait up!"

All I can think is 'fuck.'

I knew he was spending the day at a hospital, but I didn't think it would be this hospital.

Emelia and I both tense up and halt in our tracks. He's seen us, and he knows we heard him, and he undoubtedly saw our blubbering and crying. There's no escaping this conversation.

His footsteps come closer, quickly, and he jogs in front of us to catch up with us.

"Woah," he says when he sees us close up. "What's going on? Are you guys okay?"

I look over at Emelia and we lock eyes. I nod to her, and she knows what it means; she unlocks her arm from mine and continues walking to her car, leaving me to discuss this with Ashton alone.

"Not really?" My words come out as a question, even though it's a statement.

Ash's expression softens. "Come here." He holds his arms open, expecting me to walk into them for a hug.

I shake my head. I have to say it all before he can offer me comfort.

He looks hurt when I don't accept his offer. I don't know if I can watch his face morph even more when I tell him the truth.

"Please don't be mad," I say, quietly, and it almost sounds like a whimper.

His eyes are pitying while he nods. "Of course, I'm here to support you, what's going on? I saw you guys walking and I needed to make sure you were okay."

Ashton reaches a hand out to try to touch my shoulder, but I shrug it off.

I close my eyes, because I don't know how to look him in the eyes and tell him the truth. "I just got diagnosed with stage three leukemia."

I'm met with silence, and when I take a peek through my eyelids to see if Ashton is still there, I see that he's crying now. It makes me feel even worse.

"Please don't be mad," I repeat.

Ashton looks so confused and upset, and he looks at me with his kind eyes that are almost painful to look into right now. "How can I be mad at you?"

Right, that's fair. How could my friend be mad at me for having cancer?

I close my eyes again. Even though they're squeezed tightly shut, tears still slip out onto my cheeks. I'm impressed that I still have more tears to cry. "Please don't tell Calum."

I wait for the words to sink in before I open my eyes again, and when I do, Ashton looks even more confused and upset than he already did.

"Why not?"

I have to take far too many deep breaths after he asks that to avoid sobbing or choking on my words when I actually say them. I realize I don't have to follow through. I could still tell Calum. I could still tell him and let him be there for me and not keep this from him.

I could, but I also can't.

"He doesn't know."

Ashton nods, processing the words.

"And I'm not going to tell him until after the tour."

While the words hang in the air, Ashton is still just thoughtful, mulling my words over and letting them float, but when they sink in, they plummet. Hard. Fast. He's mad quickly thereafter.

"What?"

"I don't want him to know."

I watch something flash in his eyes and notice his jaw is clenched. "Orion—"

I cut him off. "You're not going to change my mind."

"You have to—"

"I don't have to do anything."

"Will you let me—"

"Ashton, I'm not telling—"

"LET ME SPEAK!" He roars, causing a few heads in the parking lot to turn towards us, and I shrink into myself. "You have to tell him. He worships you. He'd do anything for you. You have to let him know that the girl he loves is..."

When he trails off, it really sets in. I frown at him.

"I have to tell him the girl he loves is dying?"

I know that's what he was going to say, or at least that's what he meant.

"Do you know how bad that would hurt him?" I whisper. I still am having a hard time looking him in the eyes. I can't imagine how hard it would be to tell Calum.

Ashton opens his mouth to try to speak several times, but he never actually says anything.

"I know it's fucked. I just... I just can't tell him. I know you don't agree, and I don't expect anyone to, but it's my life and it's my relationship and it's my diagnosis to share. It's not yours, and it's not Emelia's."

Ashton nods, and I think he starts to understand what my thought process is. He's still crying, and I am too, and I think we're at a point in the conversation that I can hug him. Without warning, I step forward and throw myself at him, embracing him with every bit of strength I can. He hugs me back instantly.

"Please, please don't tell him," I beg.

He sniffles, lets out a tiny sob, and nods. "Okay, I promise."