#SHOLTO Vampire

[thejoyofviolentmovement]

New Audio: SHOLTO Returns with Breathtakingly Gorgeous "The Pearl That Glitters"

New Audio: SHOLTO Returns with Breathtakingly Gorgeous "The Pearl That Glitters" @DeepMatter

London-based multi-instrumentalist, composer and producer Oscar “Sholto” Robertson grew up with a deep and abiding love of jazz, soul, krautrock and 60s and 70s soundtracks. Roberton may be best known for being one-half of indie outfit Sunglasses for Jaws. He honed his production skills under the guidance of Allah-Las‘ Nick Waterhouse and Inflo. Three years ago, Robertson stepped out into the…

[caluski]

@moldavite tagged me to post my current music faves (thank u kalli a big fucking MWAH goes out to u in this gloomy april evening) so yay!!! i love posting spotify links of course... more belowww. trying so hard for everyone to only post things i havent shared before... trying!!

obviously justice is on repeat - both incognito and saturnine, but im putting here incognito bc it does have the coolest intro and outro everrr like ouuughhhh like justice goes so fucking hard when they choose to have some retro synths................ actually have you listened to planisphere today? you should (talking to everyone)

i havent actually talked about my thoughts on khruangbins new album... which is obviously good but i simply didnt have the time to get into it :/ ive been hoping to give it a good listen, no skips no nothing, on a day off but work has been kicking my ass a bittt... anyway! Pon pón is fun. it came out as a single few weeks back and ive gotten really into it.... sooooo groovy

vampire by sholto is what some of you might recognize from love and food playlist? but ohhhhhh fuckkkkkkk its so good. i dont even know this guy and i didnt think much of it other than "yeah its cool" when i added it to my library. such a great and sinister feeling jazzy number.... AND WHEN THE SAX HITS!!!!!!!!! thats so good. please listen to vampire.

more radio pop!!!!! MORE MAINSTREAM KEVIN PARKER!!!!!!!! i do love tame impala's older/more niche sound just as much as i love him "selling out" (whatever, i will defend his minions and elvis tracks until i die and i will MEAN it) so i am STILL excited for this album even though the roll-out of singles has been consistently awful. but i guess dua lipa is a slow riser always (however long did it take her to peak on charts with 'dont start now'???). plus obviously DANNY!!!!!! YAY FOR DANNY!!!!!

its been a really good spring so far, with so many of my faves releasing music, and obviously that includes sebastian. i remember watching the runway show this was made for, but for some reason i didnt hear the whole track - maybe it was just highlights or something? i really love the synths in this one. its unusual for him to bring the choral singing in the start instead of the climax of the track, but its really well done (as always)! i wish, i wiiiiiiiiish there was something happening about the new album, too.

charli's really being weird recently about everything but goddddddd this slaps so good. im usually not that big on gesaffelstein but i do love ag cook so much. its going to be such a good clubbing record like literally.... its crazy she STILL gets labeled hyperpop. i also like club classics, but b2b is TRULY superior out of this double drop....

the beat of this one is just stuck in my head at all times. its cute! fun! perfect for spring. theyre soon to release their debut album, i need to remember to check it out. while its not SOTY material so far, its just cool and pleasant.

more dance sounds - i like this one a lot! really catchy. ive never really been into 1tbsp but yeahhhhh with this one, i get it.

ok i for sure posted this one before, but its ok bc it got like 0 or 1 likes or something. starwolf is a band im really hopeful for!!!! their 2020 album was pretty interesting, but its their three last singles that got my ears all perked up. some daytime disco vibes in them, and its really cool considering i was somewhat.... underwhelmed by poolside's last album. so, i feel good about starwolf now! fingers crossed for summer, as it would be a perrrrrrrfect record to replay over and over during hot sunny days.

and SUUUUUUUUUUUCHHHHHHHHH a spring favorite for the end. kind of getting lost in this one.... number one song i keep thinking of during sweet sunny walks recently. unbelievably cute. 10000% recommend.

[theam-cjsw]

The AM: January 22, 2024

Former Constantines frontman and current solo artist Bry Webb calls in during hour three of this week's AM to discuss his new album and upcoming Calgary show. Before that, your usual mix of mellow moods, from neo-classical bassoon and accordion, to gentle acoustic ditties, to "maritime jazz" and other unclassifiable sounds.

Enjoy!

Listen on CJSW

Stream the whole episode on Soundcloud

Skip to just the interview

Spotify playlist (tracks from the last five-or-so episodes)

Hour One:

Grasslands Frank Horvat, Sébastien Malette • A Village of Landscapes

Ya Rayah Emad Armoush's Duos, featuring Francois Houle • Electritradition

Poeira Sam Gendel, Fabiano do Nascimento • The Room

London Tuulikki Bartosik • Playscapes

Dewdrop Coming Back to You Plains Apparition, Light Blending In • Window to the Soul

Phosphene Gregory Uhlmann • Small Day

Gloria Joseph Shabason, Nicholas Krgovich, M. Sage • Shabason, Krgovich, Sage

Detached Hauschka • Philanthropy

Xenon Arc sub lumen • Supercluster

Hour Two:

Archive Melodien • Morii

Relax With Me Easy Idiot • Stock Music II

Crushed Velvet Molly Lewis, featuring Thee Sacred Souls • On The Lips

Cruising Home Greg Foat, Ayu Salawu • Interstellar Fantasy

Maritime Jazz Cosmic Analog Ensemble • Les Grandes Vacances

Vampire SHOLTO • The Changing Tides of Dreams

Jandira Luiz Henrique • Mestiço

Pra Não Deixar de Sambar Luiz Henrique • Mestiço

Bossa nova for the contrails of my tears Rural Tapes, featuring Steve Wynn • Inner space music

Bright Green Vibrant Gray Helena Deland • Goodnight Summerland

Flowers on the Fire Escape MOONRIIVR • Vol. 1

(1-2-3-4-5-6-7) Count the Days Gene Pitney • She's a Heartbreaker

Hour Three:

No Mast Loving • Any Light

Morgengruß Popol Vuh • Einsjäger und Siebenjäger

Bo Tequila Rei Harakami • 広い世界 と せまい世界

Let Me Know Hannah Miette, featuring Rozi Plain • Single

Modern Mind Bry Webb • Run With Me

I Saw Me Victrix • I Saw Me EP

Perfect Storm Jane Weaver • Love in Constant Spectacle

Nodos Radiotr​ó​nica • Single

Best For You and Me Helado Negro • Phasor

Just a Minute (Moon King Cover) Tess Roby • Ever New (Compilation)

Ameleon Mega Bog • Life, and Another

[iamapoopmuffin]

Writing Prompt 8

Sholto didn't give any reaction to the cut beyond the slightest of involuntary jolts. He didn't even break in his story telling, keeping his rendition of 'Where The Wild Things Are' going strong. He wondered briefly if it was a strange book to read to these children, and what, if any, books were normally read by monster parents to monster children, but he shook that thought off. He may have been raising them a little too human, but it was the best he could do. His knowledge of their customs wasn't perfect, he only truly knew how to destroy their kind without mercy. But here he was, raising these poor orphaned things on his own. Single dad to eleven little monsters.

Jessica was looking at him with wide eyes, not paying much mind to the story any more. Sholto gave her a glance and noticed her staring at his finger. He looked, and realised it was bleeding a little, but not much. It was just a paper cut.

"I smell blood!" Giulietta called suddenly, tugging at his leg.

"Sholto hurt his finger!" Jessica whined back, pointing and bounding up and down on her seat on the sofa. With a sigh, the former assassin held up the finger.

"It's just a paper cut, Jessie. It's nothing serious, don't worry."

"Should I get the sticky plasters?"

"The book isn't made of oak, is it?"

"Does it hurt?"

"It's bleeding!"

Jessica scrambled off her seat and ran to the kitchen as the other children continued to shout over one another. Sholto rolled his eyes. "It's fine. It's nothing. It's like when some of you fall over and scrape your leg."

"And then you give us the sticky plaster and it makes us feel better!" Peverell chirped, looking proud of himself.

"Yeah, and then you feel better. But it doesn't hurt long and it heals up in the end."

"Unless you're a zombie." Said Mia.

"Or a mummy." Agreed Nuru.

"But then, it doesn't hurt much then either."

Sholto nodded. "See, well, I'm human, so I heal, and I get hurt or sick sometimes, but it really is nothing to worry about."

At that point, Jessica came running in, clutching a box of Peppa Pig plasters. "Here!"

"It's fine, Jessie, but I really don't need it."

"Yes you do!"

"Yeah!" Agreed Cinnamon from the floor. "You said it would make you feel better."

"I feel fine." Sholto insisted tiredly, but he let Jessica apply the plaster to his finger anyway. "I am a trained assassin, sweetie. Stop giving me children's sticky plasters for my paper cuts."

"But it will make you feel better, Daddy! And it's what you always do for us!"

Daddy? Jessie hadn't called him that before. Neither had any of the other children. On the one hand, he actually felt a little bit bad about it. He wasn't their dad, and he and his colleagues had murdered their real fathers and mothers in cold blood. On the other hand, he was putting so much work into raising and protecting these children, and to think they saw him as their father for real, despite what he had done in the past. It almost brought tears to his eyes. Almost.

Sholto looked at the Peppa Pig sticker wrapped around his index finger and smiled, ruffling Jessica’s curls with his other hand. “You’re right, Jessie. It feels much better now. Thanks, kids.”

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi Steph! Would you happen to have any fic recs that involve John meeting the Holmes family? I always think that's such an interesting dynamic to see! Also, I think this goes without saying but I love your blog and appreciate your contributions to the fandom! Thanks!

Hey Nonny!

Ah, thank you! I’m glad you enjoy my blog!

Oooo! Yes, I love that dynamic too!! ANNNNND!!! You’re giving me the chance to make a part 2 for a REALLY OLD LIST!!! So YAY!!! I found a bunch on a text doc I haven’t posted yet, so HERE WE GO! Hope you enjoy, and as always, everyone please add your own!

PARENTS AND FAMILIES Pt. 2

See also: 

Parents & Family

Meeting the Family With a Fake Relationship

Do You Love Me? by whitchry9 (K, 641 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Family, Epic Bromance) – John asks Sherlock perhaps the most important question.

Once Upon A Time by ProfessorSquirrell (T, 908 w., 1 Ch. || Family, Snippets of Life, Romance, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Implied Drug Use, Angst with Happy Ending) – There is a room in Sherlock's mind palace where nothing gets deleted. And it looks like this...

Crisis Averted by Spartangal22 (T, 2,188 w., 1 Ch. || HLV Fic, Missing Scene After Confronting Mary, Canon Compliant, Sherlock Whump / Mary Shot Sherlock, Family / Friendship, Hospitalization, Sherlock POV, Holmes Brothers) – Lying in the hospital, Sherlock receives some surprising visitors, and manages to deal with two problems he's been having lately. A missing scene from HLV about a formal introduction that was never made and a visit that was never shown.

The Only Available Transportation by blueink3 (T, 5,379 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Fluff and Angst, Insecure Sherlock, Caring John, Parentlock, Sherlock’s Birthday, Family, Misunderstandings) – It’s possibly the desperation that’s seeped into his voice despite his best intentions, or perhaps it’s just a mother’s intuition, but she knows that whatever he’s calling about is Serious, hangover be damned. “What’s happened?” she asks, tone soft and as comforting as a hot cup of tea on a cold winter’s night. “Mummy,” he begins, voice catching. “I think John may be moving out.”

On the Steadfast Approach of an Oncoming Darkness by 2bee (T, 7,772 w., 1 Ch. || Apocalypse, Minor Character Death, Sort of Parentlock) – The world is ending. Not fast, but slowly, like falling asleep with a fever.

The Name Game by ItsClydeBitches221B (K, 8,958 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Family, Platonics / Friendship, Sort-of Parentlock, John/Mary, Mary is Nice, Five and Ones, Baby Watson, Mycroft Loves Baby Watson) – The names that baby girl Watson comes up with for her extended family. Or: how everyone—Watsons, Holmes, and others alike— just learned to give up and embrace their weirdness.

The Burning of the Leaves by blueink3 (M, 15,915 w., 3 Ch. || Post S4, Angst, Reichenbach, Parentlock, Past Jolto, Idiot John, Sherlock’s a Mess, Puppies, Fluff, Possessive / Jealous Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock POV, Matchmaker Sholto, Melancholic Feelings, Emotional Sherlock, Domesticity, Love Confessions in the Rain, Kissing in the Rain, Pet Names) – After the events of series 4, Major Sholto invites John and Sherlock to lunch one day. It nearly proves to be too much for their tenuous relationship as the past haunts the present, putting the future that Sherlock so desperately wants at risk.

Permanent Fixture by vitruvianwatson (E, 18,836 w., 9 Ch. || Post-S4, Parentlock, Slow Build, Friends to Lovers, They’re Good Parents, Blushing Sherlock, First Kiss/Time, Explicit Consent, Sexual Content, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Big Feelings, Crying, First Kiss, Fluff, Anxious Sherlock, Inexperienced Sherlock, Emotional Communication, Love Confessions) – Now, as Rosie sat curled up against Sherlock’s side, John watched and wondered exactly how he had ended up here. Domesticity had never suited him before, not at any point in his life. His disastrous marriage had been proof of that. But somehow, here in the warmth and safety of 221B Baker Street, here with Sherlock Holmes reading medical jargon to his daughter, Sherlock’s bony feet nudging against his leg, John couldn’t imagine anyplace that would make him happier.

Dropping the Act by jadztone (T, 27,258 w., 10 Ch. || Parentlock, Fake Relationship, Mary’s Family, Post-S4, Cuddling & Snuggling, Bed Sharing, Pining, Christmas) – Sherlock and John are quite happy living together with Rosie in Baker St. They might be even happier if they didn’t act towards each other like their love is only platonic. Mycroft brings troubling news in the form of Mary’s parents wanting to know just what their grandchild’s home life is like. The boys decide to spend Christmas pretending like they are in love in order to seem more like a "normal" family. It's easy enough to pretend when all you're doing is dropping the act.

An Acquired Taste by kinklock (E, 31,059 w., 4 Ch. || Vampires AU || Vampire Sherlock, Misunderstandings, Bat!Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Humour, Magical Realism, Fluff and Angst, Blood Drinking, Holmes Family, Slow Burn) – At Montague Street when Sherlock was forced to sate his body’s needs, he was at least able to wander about the flat as much as he pleased. At Baker Street, it was mini-bags in a mini-fridge and bedroom confinement.

Chaperones by MissDavis (T, 34,114 w., 7 Ch. || 11 Years Post-S4, Fake Relationship, Parentlock, Disney World, Bed / Room Sharing, Friends to Lovers, Fluff, First Kiss, Obsessive Sherlock, Insecure John) – Right. Of course. Everyone assumed they were a couple and no one would question it. John put his elbows up on the table so he could rest his head in his hands. "You want to pretend to be a couple so we can chaperone a trip to Disney World with Rosie's class and you won't have to share a room with a stranger?" "Exactly." Sherlock beamed at him. "Don't worry about the cost. The Birmingham case last month paid more than enough to cover expenses for all three of us."

Where The Ghosts Have Voices by HappyJuicyfruit (M, 37,691 w., 12 Ch. || Supernatural AU || Ghosts, Magical Realism, Light Horror, Fluff and Smut, John Can See Ghosts, John Whump, Emotional Manipulation, Dark Magic, Coma, Injury Recovery, Blow Jobs, Anal, Happy Ending, John’s Past, Mr Holmes, Powerful John, Holmes Brothers, Sherlock’s Past, Past Viclock, Drug Abuse, Hair Pulling) – John has lived his whole life as an outcast. It is only when he meets Sherlock, that be realizes being a freak might not be such a bad thing, and that the curse he has lived with his whole life may be a gift after all. (TO READ)

Anchor Point by trickybonmot (E, 49,856 w., 80 Ch. || Truman Show AU || Psychological Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Dark Characters / Fic, Alternating First/Third Person, Protective John, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Tender Moments, Love Confessions, Hand/Blow Jobs, Cuddling, Jealous John, First Kiss/Time) – The world tunes in nightly for Sherlock, the ultimate in reality TV: Sherlock Holmes, a real person with a legendary name, unknowingly lives out his life in a staged setting contrived by his brother. Things get complicated when a retired army doctor joins the show to play the part of Sherlock's closest friend. This fic borrows its concept from the 1998 film, the Truman Show. However, you don't need to have any knowledge of the movie to enjoy this story.

The Hollow Woman by ScopesMonkey (M, 51,335 w., 22 Ch. || Post-TRF, Major Character Death, Mystery, Romance, Friendship, Family, Angst, Crime, Reunion, First Kiss / Time, Nightmares, Doctor John, Jealous Sherlock, Jealous John, BAMF John, Angry John, Dub-Con, Rough Sex, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Villain Mary, Open Ending) – Forced to return to London sooner than expected, Sherlock falls into a case too close to home. Part 1 of the Hollowverse series

Repairing the Broken Things by BakerTumblings (M, 75,252 w., 15 Ch. || S4 Compliant, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Trauma, Hospitals, Big Brother Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Realizations, Severe Accident, John Whump, Pneumonia, Medical Procedures, Bed Sharing, First Time, Healing, Happy Ending) – "I'm calling today to notify you that there's been an accident."

Points by lifeonmars (E, 53,791 w., 42 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || HLV Rewrite / Canon Divergence, Married Life, Pregnancy / Baby Watson, Drinking to Cope, Boxing / Fisticuffs, Clueless John, Angst, Minor Medical Drama, Tattoos, Christmas, First Kiss/Time, Eventual Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Doctor John, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, Case Fic, Drugging, Blow/Hand Job, Emotional Love Making, Parenthood, Passage of Time) – What if His Last Vow never happened? This fic picks up a few months after John and Mary's wedding, in an alternate universe where Magnussen doesn't exist, but Mary is still pregnant. Life continues -- just in a different direction. And slowly, Sherlock and John find their way to each other.

The Monument of Memory by J_Baillier (M, 79,663 w., 14 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It Fic / S4 is Canon, Angst, Family Drama, Guilt, Case Fic, John Loves Sherlock, Complicated Feelings, Mentalism / Hypnosis, Murder, Grieving John, Sherlock is a Bit Not Good, Team Work, Trust Issues, BAMF John, Psychological Trauma, Protective John, Autistic-Spectrum Sherlock, Parentlock, John POV) –  A genius traumatised by a past he's only beginning to recall. The psychopath sister that time forgot. A missing woman and a mentalist who may or may not be a murderer. And, in the middle of it all, stands John Watson.

Kintsukuroi by sussexbound (E, 91,823 w., 20 Ch. || S4 Compliant / Post-TLD, Grief / Mourning, PTSD, Internalized Homophobia, Therapy, Past Abuse, Alcohol Abuse, Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Anxiety, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, Cuddling, Suicidal Ideation, Masturbation, Minor Character Death, Sexting, Frottage, Inexperienced Sherlock, Rimming / Anal / BJ’s, Emotional Turmoil, Finding Each Other) – “I love you.” Sherlock sees the words hit John with almost physical force. He reels back a little, jaw twitching and eyes filling. “I love you,” he repeats, a little softer, a little more gentle, as earnest as he possibly can. Because they’ve been teetering on the brink of this thing for years, and it had become painfully obvious over the last few months that they were at a tipping point. This had to happen. Now it has. Now they can see where they end up. The tears in John’s eyes spill over, and he wipes at them angrily. “Do you even know what that means?”  

The Summer Boy by khorazir (T, 94,706 w., 6 Ch. || Post S3/Post TAB/Alternate S4, Friends to Lovers, Asexual Sherlock, POV Sherlock, Flashbacks, Bullying, 1980′s Kid Sherlock, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Inexperienced Sherlock, Grief/Mourning, Pining Sherlock, Case Fic, Sherlock’s Past, Awkward Conversations, Anxious Sherlock) – About half a year after the fateful events at Appledore, Sherlock and John embark on a private case in Sussex. For Sherlock, it’s a journey into his past, bringing up memories both happy and sad that he has locked away for almost thirty years. For John, it means coming to terms with the present – and a potential future with Sherlock. Part 1 of the The Summer Boy series

The Wedding Garments by cwb (E, 105,390 w., 36 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Alternate Future AU || Alternate First Meeting, Dating / Arranged Marriages, Romance, First Kiss/Time, Heavy Petting, Cuddles, POV Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn / Falling in Love / Dev. Rel., Nervous/Anxious Sherlock, Jealous/Cranky, Hiking, Vacation Homes / Honeymoon, Sherlock’s Family, Horny John/Sherlock, Patient John, Massages, Hand Jobs, Assassination Plots, Hand Jobs / Oral Sex, Case Fic, Emotional Love Making, Bath Time Fun) – This is the story of a young consulting detective who wants nothing to do with marriage and an army doctor who wants to find true love. It's 2020 post-Brexit England and the British government is encouraging arranged marriages. Candidates meet through state-run agencies and date in hopes of finding love (and tax benefits). Sherlock doesn't need or want a spouse, at least not until John Watson shows up. Hesitant to give in to his more carnal urges because of the way they derail his mind, how will Sherlock progress toward the more intimate aspects of a relationship? The answer lies in a very special wedding gift.

The Bang and the Clatter by earlgreytea68 (M, 137,049 w., 37 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Baseball AU || Slow Burn / Dev. Rel., Possessive/Obsessive Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Body Appreciation, Depression, Closeted Sexuality, Family, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Ogling Each Other, Anxious Sherlock, Panic Attack, Drunkenness, Talk of Forever, Big Feelings™) – Sherlock Holmes is a pitcher and John Watson is a catcher. No, no, no, it's a baseball AU. Part 1 of Baseball

The Lost Special: Family Matters (As Do Relationships) by ShirleyCarlton  (M, 144,688 w., 40 Ch. || S4 Fix It Fic, Unreliable Narrator, John’s Mind Bungalow, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending) – Sherrinford is not really the name of some high security prison. That was just a figment of John’s frantic coma dream. And Eurus is not actually Sherlock’s sister. That’s just something random she said to John before shooting him. Sherlock and John were never actually estranged. That was just their act to cover up what really happened to Mary – or Rosamund Moran, as her real name has turned out to be. Sherlock does have a secret sibling, though, and his name is Sherrinford. After finally eliminating Moran – though in a rather dramatically different way than they had envisioned – and exposing the truth about Eurus, John encourages Sherlock to delve into his past and to find out whether the reasons to keep Sherrinford away from Sherlock were the right ones, and to discover what really happened in 1981. Along the way, Sherlock and John gradually, finally, stop keeping each other at a distance, and eventually become a proper family of their own.

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

[casteals-your-heart]

Have some bestie because right now I am in a sadistic mood ;) Thank me later.

I am not a vampire but I would lose my head around you

You must be an angel cause' your beauty is blinding

I am not the Impala but you can call me Baby

You must be Pestilence because you've infected me with love.

I would love to have the sex with you (I cracked up so much at this)

(Here are some Sherlock's)

Are you one of John's jumpers? Because you look so cozy and unique

Can I touch your Belstaff?

Chicks dig scars eh? Well, just call me Major Sholto

You want to see More-iarty of me?

I calculate that there are thirteen possibilities once I invite you into my bedroom

I fell for you harder than Rupert Graves in gag reel

I love you more than Carl Powers loved his shoes

(All these are cracking me so hard, tears are rolling down my face. I froze when my girlfriend saw my screen. That was before she started helping me too and she is the one who suggested the half of them.)

Read in your own risk, some are quite....steamy.

I should NOT have read this in public oh my god haha. Thank you and your gf, this is wonderful (almost as wonderful as you are)

((Shhhhh I’m terrible at pickup lines why do you think I’m asking for them))

[ao3feed-sterek]

Calypso's Never Ending Adventures

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3a13KKM

by MadamKhaos

Calypso Potter-Black is now Unspeakable Phoenix. She was working on the rash amount of fires killing shifters when she unknowingly finds herself in the middle of trouble with a capital T. Even as one episode closes, another begins. Will she ever be surprised by the meddling of fates? The journey called life has merely just begun and with how very long her life is going to be... well, it calls for adventures! Grand, impossible, and dangerous adventures! But mostly the adventure called love and having a family is what throws her off-kilter the most in the grand scheme of things.

Words: 6275, Chapters: 4/4, Language: English

Fandoms: Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter - Laurell K. Hamilton, Merry Gentry - Laurell K Hamilton, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, True Blood (TV), The Vampire Diaries (TV), The Vampire Diaries - L. J. Smith, Teen Wolf (TV), Southern Vampire Mysteries - Charlaine Harris

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi

Characters: Anita Blake, Jean-Claude (Anita Blake), Richard Zeeman, Harry Potter, Andromeda Black Tonks, Teddy Lupin, Luna Lovegood, Pam Swynford De Beaufort, Eric Northman, Godric Gryffindor, Godric (True Blood), Sookie Stackhouse, Bill Compton, Lafayette Reynolds, Jason Stackhouse, Crystal Norris, Tara Thornton, Alcide Herveaux, Stiles Stilinski, Sheriff Stilinski, Scott McCall (Teen Wolf), Allison Argent, Chris Argent, Kate Argent, Gerard Argent, Victoria Argent, The Argents, John Newland, Olivia Newland, The Originals (Vampire Diaries), Klaus Mikaelson, Elijah Mikaelson, Bonnie Bennett, Caroline Forbes, Elena Gilbert, Margaret Gilbert, Sholto (Merry Gentry), Merry Gentry, Frost (Merry Gentry), Doyle (Merry Gentry), Rhys (Merry Gentry), Galen (Merry Gentry), Kitto (Merry Gentry), Barinthus (Merry Gentry)

Relationships: Peter Hale/Harry Potter, Eric Northman/Harry Potter, Klaus Mikaelson/Harry Potter, Anita Blake/Nathaniel Graison, Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Allison Argent/Scott McCall, Luna Lovegood/Pam Swynford De Beaufort, Crystal Norris/Jason Stackhouse, Godric/Sookie Stackhouse, Lafayette Reynolds/Jesús Velasquez, Elijah Mikaelson/Andromeda Black Tonks, Harry Potter/Other(s), Teddy Lupin/Other(s), Anita Blake/Jean-Claude (Anita Blake)/Richard Zeeman, Alcide Herveaux/Tara Thornton

Additional Tags: Werewolf Teddy Lupin, Witch Bonnie Bennett, Klaus Mikaelson Has A Heart, Protective Klaus Mikaelson, Alpha Peter Hale, Sane Peter Hale, Scott McCall (Teen Wolf) Bashing, Bottom Stiles Stilinski, Spark Stiles Stilinski, Mates Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Female Harry Potter, Master of Death Harry Potter, BAMF Harry Potter, Creature Harry Potter, Werewolves, Vampires, Hybrids, Sidhe, Goblins, Seer Luna Lovegood, BAMF Luna Lovegood, Lesbian Luna Lovegood, Protective Elijah Mikaelson, BAMF Kol Mikaelson, Protective Rebekah Mikaelson, Alpha Klaus Mikaelson, Godric (True Blood) Lives, Fairy Sookie Stackhouse, Bill Compton Bashing, Werepanthers, Were-Creatures, Don't Like Don't Read, Not Beta Read, Sorry Not Sorry, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Cannibalism, Bestiality, Tags Are Fun, How Do I Tag, Overpowered Harry Potter, Adventure & Romance, Action/Adventure, Timeline What Timeline, Be Careful What You Wish For, Magical Tattoos, Magical Pregnancy, Magical Bond, MACUSA | Magical Congress of the United States of America, Unspeakable Harry Potter, I'm Not Ashamed, I'm Going to Hell

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3a13KKM

[bandithearted]

the rules  are these :          name     TEN     of your      favorite      characters from different fandoms ,     then tag others !          so ,     in no particular order :

1 .       Snow White - LITERALLY ALL OF THEM 2 .       Wanda Maximoff - Marvel Comics 3 .       Caroline Forbes - The Vampire Diaries 3 .       Kairi - Kingdom Hearts   5 .       Sailor Moon/Usagi Tsukino - Sailor Moon 6 .       Judy Hopps - Zootopia 7 .      Nancy Thompson - A Nightmare on Elm Street 8 .       Rosalie Hale - Twilight 9 .       Sholto - Merry Gentry Series 10 .     Harry Potter - Harry Potter

tagged by.     tagged by     @piraticalwit​ tagging. @atemyboyfriend​ @scviorswan​ @exjailbird​ @seesgood​ @haschanged​ and anyone else who wants to !

[leonblagden]

Leon had let himself fall into a slightly intoxicated haze, gaze rotating from watching the various fire shows to watching his claim from afar. He couldn’t help but feel protective of Aleixo due to their bond-- but the other seemed quite content from what he could feel at the moment, so he had relaxed and let his attentions drift elsewhere. 

The vampire had been reclining in the grass when he suddenly felt someone trip over his legs rather roughly, tearing Leon from his thoughts rather abruptly and triggering irritation. “The fuck-- watch where you’re going,” he grumbled, even more irritated to find it was a slave that had disturbed him. “Clumsy fool.”

@sholto​

[ao3-sterek]

Calypso's Never Ending Adventures

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3a13KKM

by MadamKhaos

Calypso Potter-Black is now Unspeakable Phoenix. She was working on the rash amount of fires killing shifters when she unknowingly finds herself in the middle of trouble with a capital T. Even as one episode closes, another begins. Will she ever be surprised by the meddling of fates? The journey called life has merely just begun and with how very long her life is going to be... well, it calls for adventures! Grand, impossible, and dangerous adventures! But mostly the adventure called love and having a family is what throws her off-kilter the most in the grand scheme of things.

Words: 6275, Chapters: 4/4, Language: English

Fandoms: Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter - Laurell K. Hamilton, Merry Gentry - Laurell K Hamilton, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, True Blood (TV), The Vampire Diaries (TV), The Vampire Diaries - L. J. Smith, Teen Wolf (TV), Southern Vampire Mysteries - Charlaine Harris

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi

Characters: Anita Blake, Jean-Claude (Anita Blake), Richard Zeeman, Harry Potter, Andromeda Black Tonks, Teddy Lupin, Luna Lovegood, Pam Swynford De Beaufort, Eric Northman, Godric Gryffindor, Godric (True Blood), Sookie Stackhouse, Bill Compton, Lafayette Reynolds, Jason Stackhouse, Crystal Norris, Tara Thornton, Alcide Herveaux, Stiles Stilinski, Sheriff Stilinski, Scott McCall (Teen Wolf), Allison Argent, Chris Argent, Kate Argent, Gerard Argent, Victoria Argent, The Argents, John Newland, Olivia Newland, The Originals (Vampire Diaries), Klaus Mikaelson, Elijah Mikaelson, Bonnie Bennett, Caroline Forbes, Elena Gilbert, Margaret Gilbert, Sholto (Merry Gentry), Merry Gentry, Frost (Merry Gentry), Doyle (Merry Gentry), Rhys (Merry Gentry), Galen (Merry Gentry), Kitto (Merry Gentry), Barinthus (Merry Gentry)

Relationships: Peter Hale/Harry Potter, Eric Northman/Harry Potter, Klaus Mikaelson/Harry Potter, Anita Blake/Nathaniel Graison, Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Allison Argent/Scott McCall, Luna Lovegood/Pam Swynford De Beaufort, Crystal Norris/Jason Stackhouse, Godric/Sookie Stackhouse, Lafayette Reynolds/Jesús Velasquez, Elijah Mikaelson/Andromeda Black Tonks, Harry Potter/Other(s), Teddy Lupin/Other(s), Anita Blake/Jean-Claude (Anita Blake)/Richard Zeeman, Alcide Herveaux/Tara Thornton

Additional Tags: Werewolf Teddy Lupin, Witch Bonnie Bennett, Klaus Mikaelson Has A Heart, Protective Klaus Mikaelson, Alpha Peter Hale, Sane Peter Hale, Scott McCall (Teen Wolf) Bashing, Bottom Stiles Stilinski, Spark Stiles Stilinski, Mates Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Female Harry Potter, Master of Death Harry Potter, BAMF Harry Potter, Creature Harry Potter, Werewolves, Vampires, Hybrids, Sidhe, Goblins, Seer Luna Lovegood, BAMF Luna Lovegood, Lesbian Luna Lovegood, Protective Elijah Mikaelson, BAMF Kol Mikaelson, Protective Rebekah Mikaelson, Alpha Klaus Mikaelson, Godric (True Blood) Lives, Fairy Sookie Stackhouse, Bill Compton Bashing, Werepanthers, Were-Creatures, Don't Like Don't Read, Not Beta Read, Sorry Not Sorry, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Cannibalism, Bestiality, Tags Are Fun, How Do I Tag, Overpowered Harry Potter, Adventure & Romance, Action/Adventure, Timeline What Timeline, Be Careful What You Wish For, Magical Tattoos, Magical Pregnancy, Magical Bond, MACUSA | Magical Congress of the United States of America, Unspeakable Harry Potter, I'm Not Ashamed, I'm Going to Hell

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3a13KKM

[ao3feed-twfemslash]

Calypso's Never Ending Adventures

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3a13KKM

by MadamKhaos

Calypso Potter-Black is now Unspeakable Phoenix. She was working on the rash amount of fires killing shifters when she unknowingly finds herself in the middle of trouble with a capital T. Even as one episode closes, another begins. Will she ever be surprised by the meddling of fates? The journey called life has merely just begun and with how very long her life is going to be... well, it calls for adventures! Grand, impossible, and dangerous adventures! But mostly the adventure called love and having a family is what throws her off-kilter the most in the grand scheme of things.

Words: 4957, Chapters: 3/3, Language: English

Fandoms: Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter - Laurell K. Hamilton, Merry Gentry - Laurell K Hamilton, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, True Blood (TV), The Vampire Diaries (TV), The Vampire Diaries - L. J. Smith, Teen Wolf (TV), Southern Vampire Mysteries - Charlaine Harris

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi

Characters: Anita Blake, Jean-Claude (Anita Blake), Richard Zeeman, Harry Potter, Andromeda Black Tonks, Teddy Lupin, Luna Lovegood, Pam Swynford De Beaufort, Eric Northman, Godric Gryffindor, Godric (True Blood), Sookie Stackhouse, Bill Compton, Lafayette Reynolds, Jason Stackhouse, Crystal Norris, Tara Thornton, Alcide Herveaux, Stiles Stilinski, Sheriff Stilinski, Scott McCall (Teen Wolf), Allison Argent, Chris Argent, Kate Argent, Gerard Argent, Victoria Argent, The Argents, John Newland, Olivia Newland, The Originals (Vampire Diaries), Klaus Mikaelson, Elijah Mikaelson, Bonnie Bennett, Caroline Forbes, Elena Gilbert, Margaret Gilbert, Sholto (Merry Gentry), Merry Gentry, Frost (Merry Gentry), Doyle (Merry Gentry), Rhys (Merry Gentry), Galen (Merry Gentry), Kitto (Merry Gentry), Barinthus (Merry Gentry)

Relationships: Peter Hale/Harry Potter, Eric Northman/Harry Potter, Klaus Mikaelson/Harry Potter, Anita Blake/Nathaniel Graison, Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Allison Argent/Scott McCall, Luna Lovegood/Pam Swynford De Beaufort, Crystal Norris/Jason Stackhouse, Godric/Sookie Stackhouse, Lafayette Reynolds/Jesús Velasquez, Elijah Mikaelson/Andromeda Black Tonks, Harry Potter/Other(s), Teddy Lupin/Other(s), Anita Blake/Jean-Claude (Anita Blake)/Richard Zeeman, Alcide Herveaux/Tara Thornton

Additional Tags: Werewolf Teddy Lupin, Witch Bonnie Bennett, Klaus Mikaelson Has A Heart, Protective Klaus Mikaelson, Alpha Peter Hale, Sane Peter Hale, Scott McCall (Teen Wolf) Bashing, Bottom Stiles Stilinski, Spark Stiles Stilinski, Mates Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Female Harry Potter, Master of Death Harry Potter, BAMF Harry Potter, Creature Harry Potter, Werewolves, Vampires, Hybrids, Sidhe, Goblins, Seer Luna Lovegood, BAMF Luna Lovegood, Lesbian Luna Lovegood, Protective Elijah Mikaelson, BAMF Kol Mikaelson, Protective Rebekah Mikaelson, Alpha Klaus Mikaelson, Godric (True Blood) Lives, Fairy Sookie Stackhouse, Bill Compton Bashing, Werepanthers, Were-Creatures, Don't Like Don't Read, Not Beta Read, Sorry Not Sorry, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Cannibalism, Bestiality, Tags Are Fun, How Do I Tag, Overpowered Harry Potter, Adventure & Romance, Action/Adventure, Timeline What Timeline, Be Careful What You Wish For, Magical Tattoos, Magical Pregnancy, Magical Bond, MACUSA | Magical Congress of the United States of America, Unspeakable Harry Potter, I'm Not Ashamed, I'm Going to Hell

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3a13KKM

[thejoyofviolentmovement]

New Audio: London's SHOLTO Shares Lush and Cinematic "Vampire"

New Audio: London's SHOLTO Shares Lush and Cinematic "Vampire" @DeepMatter

London-based multi-instrumentalist, composer and producer Oscar “Sholto” Robertson grew up with a deep and abiding love of jazz, soul, krautrock and 60s and 70s soundtracks. Roberton may be best known for being one-half of indie outfit Sunglasses for Jaws. He honed his production skills under the guidance of Allah-Las‘ Nick Waterhouse and Inflo. Three years ago, Robertson stepped out into the…

[lapuslazulli]

Chapters: 25/? Fandom: Sherlock (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Sherlock Holmes & John Watson, James Sholto/John Watson Characters: Sherlock Holmes, John Watson, James Sholto (Sherlock), Original Male Character(s) Additional Tags: Vampires, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Vampire Sherlock, Military, Soldiers, Anal Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, Biting, Top Sherlock Series: Part 1 of Fighting For Air Summary:

The only vampire working with the military police, Sherlock is sent to investgate a mysterious death in a regiment in Afghanistan. Given Captain John Watson as a go-to man, Sherlock can't work out if the man is distracting him from the case, or aiding him. And in this case, everyone is a suspect.

[lapuslazulli]

Chapters: 23/? Fandom: Sherlock (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Sherlock Holmes & John Watson, James Sholto/John Watson Characters: Sherlock Holmes, John Watson, James Sholto (Sherlock), Original Male Character(s) Additional Tags: Vampires, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Vampire Sherlock, Military, Soldiers, Anal Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, Biting, Top Sherlock Series: Part 1 of Fighting For Air Summary:

The only vampire working with the military police, Sherlock is sent to investgate a mysterious death in a regiment in Afghanistan. Given Captain John Watson as a go-to man, Sherlock can't work out if the man is distracting him from the case, or aiding him. And in this case, everyone is a suspect.