#SO I AM V HAPPY BC I HAVE A CHANCE TO TRY FOR TICKETS

[emma-radfemcanu]

Hi you’re my favourite blog on tumblr and I’m always too scared to message you but I really need a friend for a moment so I’m hoping I can borrow your ear lol

So yesterday was my 25th birthday, it’s also the 15th anniversary of me becoming a Swiftie (I got Fearless on my 10th birthday as a present, instantly fell in love), but instead of being at Taylor’s Eras Tour concert in Sydney (just a state over from where I live) I spent the night at home.

All this because the ticketing company for the Aus leg of the tour is dog shit. Im on a disability pension so I had literally spent years saving up for a chance to one day see her, I didn’t even go to see Harry Styles on tour bc I’ve never seen Taylor live (I’ve never seen Harry live either but Taylor is my priority). I spent 10 hours online trying to get tickets, I didn’t have anyone to help me so I only had one chance. I never once even made it into the online ticket lobby.

I’m actually so crushed. It’s been getting me down for ages but I was hoping that for the actual day of, I might be able to go out with a friend to take my mind off it and hopefully enjoy my birthday but all my friends managed to get tickets and so went to the concert without me. Also just to rub salt in the wound I didn’t get any birthday presents, which like I get it I’m an adult and my family is pretty poor but it still would’ve been nice to at least get a card. My Mum did cook me my favourite dinner which was nice and she and my Dad tried to cheer me up by insisting I watch the SpongeBob movie with them, I used to watch it as a kid whenever I was sick, and it used to work to cheer me up but yesterday it just reminded me of spending my childhood in a hospital and having no friends. So yeah I just feel really shit.

Sorry to dump all this on you but i can’t really talk to any of my irl friends about it bc for some bizarre reason they just say I’m being ungrateful (I don’t get why but that’s just how my friends are lol). I just had to get it out of my system you know? I hope it doesn’t bum you out too much. I spent some time scrolling on your blog and as always it’s cheered me up a great deal so thank you💖

Ok anyway if you read this thank you you’re the best, I’m gonna cry in the shower now lol (btw we have the same name which I think is really cool🥰)

Another rad Emma xxx

Hello! (I am v excited that I can finally answer asks again- I meant to contact tumblr support so many times but was afraid of getting termed, but I saw the beginning of this and it made me finally do it)

I'm sorry that you didn't have a nice birthday :( it sucks when you really look forward to something and then it doesn't work out. It is what it is but you shouldn't feel bad for feeling disappointed- even if your parents did make an effort I get why you would feel sad about it

And unfortunately you definitely weren't the only one who had this experience with Eras tickets- the sales were enough of a shitshow as it was lol, I can only imagine how difficult and frustrating it must be trying to get accessibility tickets. And it was especially crappy timing for you with it being your birthday. I really hope that you'll get to see Taylor (and Harry) someday even if it wasn't to be this time

It was very sweet of you to say that you love my blog 💕 and I am always happy for people to send me stuff so please do if you want to talk!

(although just for clarification my name is not actually Emma haha, my url is a tennis pun)

[seekingthestars]

hey besties, ya girl spent all weekend at an anime convention and that was a GIFT :')

also i am now currently in the midst of ticketing-anxiety-hell until late tomorrow afternoon so 😭

[in-tua-deep]

me n a friend have been talking abt how to make a happy au where everything works out for the best and tbh my proposal is: that last time five time travels he doesnt make it to the apocalypse, he jumps right into reginalds funeral and just the fact that their annoying rebellious preteen brother who needs people to look after him is there, they collectively pull their heads out their asses and the apocalypse doesnt happen thru the power of sibling love (+being made more responsible), ur thoughts?

OOH curious, an au where Five travels straight from when he was thirteen to his dad’s funeral? 

Five absolutely doesn’t believe that Dad is dead or that his siblings are his siblings until they PROVE it and then he basically is like what the fuCK luther you’re HUGE and allison your hair!! klaus you got so tall!! why is everyone except vanya tall as fuck!! 

“Hey where’s Ben?” Five asks, all excited and wide-eyed and the rest of the squad is like surprisedpikachu.jpg

When he finds out that Ben is dead he tries to travel back in time to prevent it and that’s when he comes to the realization that moving forwards in time is a whole different kettle of fish than moving backwards in time which sparks its own little breakdown because until that moment he was treating this as sort of a fun vacation with his cool older siblings and didn’t realize that he was stuck there

So the whole squad gets to find out via breakdown that Five hadn’t really meant to run away and was always intending on going back to them and that he just got stuck

Five calls them out on their bullshit regarding Vanya because he literally just came from a time where Vanya used to sneak into his room in tears after Reginald called her useless and ordinary for the nth time so maybe he’s a little protective and he’s just like “holy shit dad is DEAD and y’all are STILL spouting his same bullshit regarding Vanya”

Diego, who hates the fact that he was just compared to Reginald, decides to be a contrary bastard and immediately start treating Vanya nicer because honestly sometimes spite is the best motivator

Seriously how do the siblings not cotton onto the fact that their brother who sees the dead can see their very dead brother?? whatever, Five is from a time where Klaus was just doing weed and not heavy drugs so as soon as he finds out Ben is dead and after he has his subsequent breakdown he turns to Klaus like “hey hey ask Ben where the fuck he put my book on interdimensional theory I need it for reasons” and Klaus is so surprised he just automatically relays the information and then the rest of the family are like “what” as Five jumps to go retrieve it

Five is still conditioned by Reginald to like. Be a good little child soldier. And I’m gonna say the running out wasn’t a common occurrence, so instead Five gets to bug his siblings to take him places because also he’s thirteen and can’t drive

“Dad is DEAD” five says, wide eyed with possibilities, “holy shit. Is griddy’s still open? can we go to griddy’s? in DAYLIGHT? without sneaking out? holy SHIT”

in the face of this excitement over something as small and simple as being able to go to a diner when he wants, it’s not like they can say NO. even luther wavers because honestly griddy’s is a nostalgia trip and a half and he’s been on the moon for four years and… dad’s dead it can wait for like, an hour right?

The commission is like “hmm. fuck. better send some people to get the timeline back on track” except now it’s the whole squad who deal with the Griddy’s Assassin situation and Five helps because this is what’s he trained to do!! taking down armed gunmen! look at them doing their job as a family

meanwhile the others are freaking out internally because five is a BABY and he’s in DANGER also looking back they were ALL BABIES WHAT THE FUCK DAD and five is just smiling while warping around bashing people on the head with diner mugs

Klaus and Vanya are ducked under a table bonding about not being super helpful in fights and Klaus is like “tbh idk why dad let me go on missions and not you like i remember when you got allison to teach you that highkick p sure you’d be more useful than me” and vanya is touched

they don’t come out unscathed and Five is bleeding and everyone is freaking out over it and five is just like “dude i’ve had worse lmao like literally dad has given me worse than this” and everyone is reminded that their dad was a dick and even luther finds his faith shaken because five is so little and he doesn’t remember them being that little,,,

they still make Five get patched up when they get back home as they try to figure out Hey What The Fuck Was That and five is literally getting stitches and he’s still excitedly asking them questions about their lives

and he’s thirteen and so sheltered i cry so he’s very impressed by like, everything

“we should watch some of allison’s movies!! we can watch movies together now, right?? i mean even dad would let us watch a movie if it had one of us in it surely! i want to see!” “!! Luther you went to the MOON? what was it like? were there aliens? did you see the flag? did you bring back moonrocks? can I have one?” “klaus your skirt!! i know dad never let you wear the stuff you wanted and now you just can! you can wear whatever you want! that’s so cool. can i do that? can i wear whatever i want? klaus klaus can you paint my nails? can ben pick out the color?” “vanya you’re in an orchestra!!! and you have a concert! that’s soo cool! does it matter that you aren’t first chair? you’re in an ORCHESTRA. i knew you were gonna be great with the violin!! can we go to your concert?? please? how much are the tickets? I probably still have my piggy bank in my room if no one’s touched it”

(Klaus touched it. Klaus 100% stole that money a long time ago. Allison cuts in and decides that as the wealthiest sibling and the currently most maternal and she is just melting at all this she will buy the whole family tickets to Vanya’s concert and they’re all going to attend as a FAMILY even if she has to drag everyone there by the ear)

everyone is immediately like “i am going to give this child the world and do all the things that we never got to do as children holy shit also now that i’m more distant from the events i never realized just how little autonomy we had and the fact that Five is so excited about being able to wear non-uniform clothes is a little depressing”

luther out here like “but,,, but the murder mystery”

and they all consider that and think that hmm. maybe those mystery griddy gunmen actually had something to do with dad’s death? okay okay, maybe just maybe luther isn’t being an idiot about this

if you think thirteen year old five doesn’t JUMP at the chance to be a part of uncovering a murder mystery you are incorrect and the siblings are immediately like “hmm. five has already gotten hurt. he is child. we should be,,, protective.”

vanya goes back to her apartment and still meets leonard peabody sorry guys but it’s kind of her job and i don’t want to take that away from her

she does still end up going to leonard’s house except five gets really bored of being smother by the rest of the squad (and they’re all WEIRD about the oddest of topics it’s stupid) so he goes off to find her and ends up ALSO at leonard’s house except he find reggie’s notebook and is like “hey i recognize this!! this is dad’s! i saw him writing in it yesterday!” and instead of letting anyone know he just kind of stuffs it up his shirt and steals it (it’s not stealing if it belongs to dad) and bugs Vanya into going home with him

he looks at the journal (he was always too curious for his own good that’s what got him into this situation) and so he reads about vanya’s powers

and immediately busts into the kitchen for family dinner like “GUYS HOLY SHIT”

and so that’s how the family finds out vanya has powers, it’s a big revelation, five is super enthusiastic because now vanya can come on missions with them suck it dad!! because he 100% isn’t aware yet they don’t still go on missions together and five is already like “we gotta train this!!”

idk pogo probably comes by and reveals the whole nanny situation and allison makes that reveal and vanya is fucking DISTRESSED and tries to leave but five latches onto her wrist and is like “vanya’s never been ordinary a day in her life!! have you heard her play the violin!! your rumor didn’t even work!” which is v touching to vanya and calms her down at least to continue the convo

luther is like “clearly she’s on the meds bc she’s dangerous so we can just continue those it’s fine” because it’s not like she’s hurt someone he cares about in this timeline tbh

allison meanwhile is trying to be a better sister in general so she counters back with “she was FOUR she didn’t understand the concept of death, now that she’s older and past the toddler tantrum phase i think it would be fine for her to actually learn about her powers”

but it’s klaus who’s like “hey, maybe we should ask vanya what she wants??”

and vanya is like,, i want to know. it wasn’t nice feeling like a burden back during the diner shootout, and i think i’d like to maybe try and explore this - and if it’s too much then there are always the pills (bc at this point vanya is still on those and doesn’t realize they inhibit her emotions, when she does she ends up not wanting to go back on them)

vanya gets the love and support she needs!! luther gets some validation for his dad was murdered theory bc the squad investigates with him and they find out about reggie faking his murder a lot earlier! allison doesn’t get her throat cut! klaus gets the love and support HE needs!! and decides (with ben’s input) that he needs to at least attempt to be a good role model bc five has already asked him if the drugs are more important than family when klaus tried to duck out of an allison movie night! diego gets to leak his protective instincts all over five and also take out his anger issues on the commission agents being sent after them! five gets to have an actual childhood even if he does chafe sometimes at his siblings being weird and protective!

literally the apocalypse is ended by five gasping and saying “WAIT can we go to the ZOO?” and making them all go on family trips together where everyone is included because!! they’re his siblings! he wants everyone to be there! he’s gonna see a lion motherfuckers! in person!

also a lot of the things five thinks of are things the siblings just,, never had time for. so it’s a first experience for a lot of them, and so no one really has a good reason to say no?? because they kind of want to go, too?

five, literally vibrating in excitement: i want to go on a roller coaster

like i know you said about preteen rebellion but look he’s come out into a world where his dad is dead and so there’s the potential to do ALL the things he’s always wanted to do but knew dad would never let him like holy shit!! family laser tag! paintball! let’s take a roadtrip to the beach guys i’ve never seen the ocean!! let’s go ice skating! go on a ferris wheel! eat ice cream on the couch! throw popcorn at the tv! lets blast abba songs through the house and make a blanket fort!!!

like it’s gonna take a while to get through the exhausting excitement of “LOOK AT ALL THESE FORMERLY FORBIDDEN THINGS I CAN TRY”

and just throughout this they’re dispatching commission agents and fighting hazel and cha-cha and trying to figure out what the fuck is going on with that as well as teaching vanya how to control her powers which everyone is trying to help out with and also dealing with five literally bouncing off the walls one half of the time and the other half of the time being passed out somewhere due to running out of energy

“klaus i want to get a puppy” “we are absolutely doing that, no ben we don’t need to consult anyone else about this” “i’m gonna name him mr. pennycrumb” “you do that buddy why the fuck not”

but yes. what an absolutely blessed and happy au. i love u and tell ur friend that i love them, too

prevent the apocalypse through the power of reconnecting with your inner child and dragging your family along behind you

[haeroniel-doliet]

gah another 5 am post eh fellas

fuck i really wanna do ballet. i really rarely become obsessed (if ever) with anything, but for once i’m so so so so soso wanting to do ballet. so bad. i know i might hate it bc im fucing not musical at all, so not in shape, so not comfortable or etc. but at least im 18,(wait fuck 19 now)  and not 45 trying to get in it all stiff and stuck and i think based on all the sweet positivity to adult ballet starters beginners and sure i wont perform professionally but fuck man i dont think i need that. i just want that grace and flexibility and elegance and gah itd be fabulous. i mean even now im pretending to look for turn out and walk around the house like they do in point shoes and i try fix my posture tothe advice by a ballet dancer youtuber who ive been watching so much of. i just i really wanna do it. 

saddest fucking thing is guys, that i could’ve had the chance to go to the fucking royal ballets adult absolute beginner classes. in london. i could have. fuck. u wanna know what happened? i found out about it like a month or two ago and was fucking psyched bc its one of those things that just is too good to be true. the best company in uk?? w adult classes? while im in london?? yeah id have to miss a few weeks bc. whoops i gotta go back up to do my exams,but i couldve at least done a few weeks, come back and done a few last so i’d have had the best opportunity to give this a go in the best environment and then have a kindling to go off with to other available ballets. and not start with some barely managing person in a shitty studio thing. idk. sure so i tell my parents so fuckin excited bc look! its possible! but yeah its expensive, wouldve been abt 90 pound w me being a student and id have to miss 3/10 classes. but still! thin of it gah its making me so sad happy. sad bc guess its now sold out. of fuckin course it is. i told my mom and she just was uhmm ohh i dunno i dunno, oh its adults i could do it, and thinking that maybe getting her involved would mean i have a better chance of going, dont care much for her company but if shed take it as a bonding thing hell, i’ll probably do better than her in class and minor confidence boost as well as if they all others are old old i wont be alone. and she could pass over what they learned when im up in scotland. Guess that was a fuckin mistake. she got all nervous and self concious and put it off with a we’ll see we’ll see about it im thinking. and making it a whole thing like instead of me wanting to go so bad and offering for fun that shed join me, as if im trying to pressure her into doing it and would only go along to make her feel better. uh.... fucking wrong! im so mad actually. bc of course, no matter how often i mentioned it she wouldnt take it seriously to even consider booking me in! no no of course not we’ll see. and then i check before im coming back, dreading and being right that yep. theyre fucing sold out. of course they are its such a fanstastic opportunity! my only fucking opportunity! when ever again am i going to live in london with weeks free to go participate in that? when ever again? never. theyre moving out of london this summer and fuck. just doing some research and the scottish ballet is in fucking glasgow. yes i was supposed to get there if i hadnt been so shit with studying for my exams. (sure i wouldnt be doing archery and wouldnt have all the other wonderful things i now enjoy in aberdeen but fuck its frustrating) and ofc. aberdeen seems to have: one shady dance company that offers ballet fusion. not adult ballet classes. another shady school that practices at robert gordons that have no website nothing. no info how to sign up or if they have adult classes or when its so stupid and weird. maybe ill have to contact them directly idk. sure my uni has a what seems to be a thriving dance society that i have a glitched out membership for. (its 50 pound a year and i have cerrainly not paid that) and i guess they do ballet on the side. but again from a glance around, looks its only intermediate. not beginners. dont think theres that many uni age girls who just wanna start ballet now. 

so it looks bleary. even in finland, i cant understand body parts in finnish so that might just be frustrating if i could even find a place that offers it. not that i’ll have long at all in finland. ill be there barely a month before heading back to uni and i come back holidays. if i wanted to take one of these eleven week courses, i think id have to geta fuckin liscence and a car and drive to glasgow 3 hrs both ways for a class once a week and that sjust stupid. im so fucking mad about this missed opportunity. like my muscles are itching and aching to do it. my legs want to work out in ballet positions. they just rly do. yeah maybe ill have to start doing barre at home from videos to try ease that, but its not gonna be the same and ill do it all wrong bc i have no teacher to direct me or anything. correct either. sure if i had done it and loved it i might still be mad that i have no opportunities to continue like i want to, but at least id have that expereince and could keep practicing at home based off of it.  i am genuinely upset okay. upset betrayed disappointed sad twitchy and ugh. sure tickets go on sale today to swan lake after exams. and by fuck will i go see it. and ill get all the background before it and know it inside and out before i see it (already kinda do) and i will love it. ill bemaybe more upset and more twitchy that i cant do it, that i cant be lie them and that rly sucks. i really really wish by some miracle the school would offer summer courses so that i could just, get myself after exams into one. also another frustrating thing not quite so pressing on my mind is how my dad wants me to get summer jobs, maybe even two. one here and one in finland. sure it should theoretically be easier getting it here, esp. since im 19 now and yeah. i could work in a cafe or store just to get money and have smth to put on a cv thats not 2 weeks. but i dunno i dont particularly want to, i was hoping in london i could get the most of it culturaly (considering ive been a pouting and sad whailer whos not done anything for the last two years) then again i have p much no friends here so if i did go work somewhere theres a slight chance thered be someone i get along with and could hang out w. or visit if i needa back in london. i dunno. things are weird. sure i could try get an admin job w nhs like some lady suggested but its one of those too much responsibilty things, consdiering im shit with work i kinda would prefer to do some physical job like stacking shelves in a shop bc im good at that. but thats not gonna help me in the future. money yes, but cv building or careers wise? nah. i should owrk in hospitality or smth i dunno even i can barely get thru my work to pass rn so  i dunno about job searching. im jsut a mess am i not. regardless maybe i should look if theres other ballet schoolsin london. be desperate, get a job and a ballet class going over summer and do art on the free time i guess. 

okay so fer now ive found a course for like fucking 156 pound thats a 2 day full days course that looks mad cool for having different classes to learn vocab and etc and then a bit of fucking swanlake like yooo.. best thing its in like july but thats also possibly bad bc its july 28-29 and july 30 we move out. man it could be cool tho. then they offer there as well a taster session p much every other week and then a full 8 weeks of class p near by to me. sure this is specifically taught by a man and id prefer a woman but, i guess. since its ideal timing and place. and i got wondering why thats 150 and the national ballet wouldve been abt 90 and i guess there i get concession and it wouldve been only 6 classes considering the dates they had off. i should rly ask if they do do concession bc 150 is a bit steep still. for 8 classes thats almost 20 pound for 75 mins. its kinda insane. theres probably more companies i havent looked at but there is one other thats like a drop in thing 10 pound cash each class and thats a 90 mins so it might be better. ofc. obv. fault being that its drop in so being an absolute beginner w likely a lot older adults idk how id fit in or keep up or get hte most of it. i think ill go try it once regardless. then when back in abdn ask around for taster sessions and beginner ballet. worst comes to worst i wait another 4 years till i get to a big enough city that they have a nice ballet company and somewhere i can live like an adult but also get in on adult ballet and enjoy myself. maybe my industrial placement city will have  a ballet company idk. 

all i know is that im a bit obsessed and everyone says to go for your dreams etc. and as much as i enjoy archery (slowly gonna dedicate to it) and aikido (though training can be frustrating and training with old men isnt that fun) and ice skating is another less of a dream but in the same realm as ballet. that im gonan get new skates for and give it a better try. i just think ballet could  be so fucking rad and im sad that its not so easy rn. and that my mom fucked me over. for that one course that couldve been cheap and amazing and mindchanging. to go to the ballet knowing what some of it feels like would be great. sure id love  a chance to do some after as well u know. ofc it sucks it might cost a couple hundred over summer to these hobbies and i feel iffy spending 180 on a quality waterproof jacket. sure. they spend it but, im v concientious and dont wanna spend much of their money esp cus im not making my own. i guess logically, i should put a bunch of effort to getting thru this term rly well without lies and get a sumemr job. that way, i could theoretically take loan from my parents  and pay back with summer job money w some left over to do as i like with (yeah i should save it for sensible shit but idk) also considering how nice i am my dad might not even want me to pay back. look i dunno. thats an idea. be good, be rewarded w ballet classes and an unstrained relationship w my parents, joyously move back to finland and start next term w a clean slate, hopefully more help and new determination into hobbies. maybe i wanna do 4 sports since i never did much as i was younger. tho sure, i did aikidos cousin taekwondo. ive shot a bow and arrow whenever i had a chance. ive skated since literally like 3 yrs old. and i used to take a form of dance a alot younger. sure no musicality but i think the exercises would be great for my knees and legs and butt and torso and posture. htese are fun sports since i dont like to work out. and since im not comfortable enough in myself to go swim. 

[othernecessarythings]

back on my bullshit again

and once more!! if you happen to stumble across these posts of mine, please just ignore them.. they’re a way for me to reflect on my life (and improve my english), and while i can’t stop you from reading them, can i say that you probably wouldn’t benefit much from it lol. anyways let’s go

1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.

my lots of songs list: the love club-lorde, river en vacker dröm-håkan hellström, living dead-marina, why we ever-hayley williams, snälla bli min-veronica maggio, take this lonely heart-nothing but thieves

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

oof um the person who will be the love of my life? no lol but like zendaya would be pretty cool ig

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

“... and the top was red-and-white striped, and it all zipped up in the front.”

4) What do you think about most?

hmm my friends maybe?

5) Ever had a poem or song written about you?

not that i know of

6) Do you have any strange phobias?

nah i feel some trypophobia (?spelling) sometimes but that’s it

7) What’s your religion?

i’m kinda christian, but like i choose which parts to believe in and not, like i believe in the message of doing good and love, but not like homophobia or an actual god lol

8) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

sitting in the sun, listening to music

9) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

ah probably paramore, yeah it must be them

10) What was the last lie you told?

eh kinda basic but “i’m fine” i guess

11) Do you believe in karma?

ooh that’s a questioning worth discussing, no i don’t believe in the actual the-universe-is-constantly-judging-our-actions, but like that people who do good tend to get good things back? yeah that makes sense

12) What does your URL mean?

my main (neon-places) is from perfect places by lorde, and just neon bc it sounds cool

13) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

oh god if i only knew,,, i really need to improve my empathy, but my systematical skills are quite good

14) Who is your celebrity crush?

hayley williams

15) How do you vent your anger?

i don’t get mad😌😌 no but like when i get irritated do i just close my door to my room and like listen to music in headphones and solve a puzzle or something lol

16) Do you have a collection of anything?

i kinda collect things that mark an important/memorable event in my life, like my first pride bracelet, my favorite jeans from when i was like 15, lots of birthday cards,, yeah it’s not so unique, but they’re important to me

17) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

yes!!!! me a few years ago would’ve never thought that i’d be like this now, but i’m proud of myself and what i’ve become!!

18) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

fun fact i HATE sleeping to the sound of rain. it makes me really anxious,, i love the sound of waves though, or my little sisters pure laugh :,)

19) What’s your biggest “what if”?

what if i’m just faking everything, what if this is not actually me but something i put up to please others around me

20) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

not ghosts really, but there must be some sort of life in the whole fucking space,, while maybe not what we traditionally would categorize as “life”, must it exist something, somewhere

21) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

i’m in my bed so like. my nightstand to the right, my wall to the left

22) Smell the air. What do you smell?

absolutely nothing, i’m so used to the smell of my house

23) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

oo idk??? i’m usually quite content with wherever we’re going, although fotografiska in stockholm was shitty though

24) Most attractive singer/s of your opposite gender?

oh um like tyler joseph maybe? gerard way, frank iero? yeah i’m an emo slut

25) To you, what is the meaning of life?

no don’t go there,, thereisnomeaningoflifesoitsallaboutmakingasmuchaspossibleandliveashappilyaspossiblyuntilourfleetingexistenceonthisearthisover

26) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

.. yeah you could say that i drove, i have a driving license after all, and i’ve never crashed but i’ve been stopped by police a few times lol

27) What was the last movie you saw?

no idea, i never watch movies... or wait!! we had legally blonde on at my friends house a few days ago when we got home from a party, i didn’t exactly watch it but it was playing

28) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

i’ve had some bad allergic reactions in form of severe eczema

29) Do you have any obsessions right now?

‘the devil and god are raging inside me’ by brand new, doing my makeup a special way

30) Ever had a rumor spread about you?

yeah, that i’m gay and together with my earlier best friend (we were not)

31) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

not really,, i’m really fucking scared of conflicts so i simply forgive and move on, it’s easier that way

32) What is your astrological sign?

pisces baby

33) What’s the last thing you purchased?

a blue skirt second hand!! v cute

34) Love or lust?

um idk i’ve never really experienced any of them, but maybe love

35) In a relationship?

nope

36) How many relationships have you had?

a whopping amount of zero

37) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

I DONT KNOW someone tell me please how to get someone to like me,, but like more friendship-like is it usually to always choose my words very carefully to not upset anyone, it usually gets me quite far

38) Where is your best friend?

where? i hope she’s home? well like we took the bus home together a few hours ago, so i guess she’s home

39) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

aha ha funny,, i was having a small mental crisis so i sat and did math (by free will, school has ended for summer) while listening to melodrama.. yes

40) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

i don’t know, this is so hard.. but like. no? or it wouldn’t really work to have someone like me as a close friend, i’m to introvert, i tend to surround myself with extroverts who bring me with them to do stuff

41) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

oh um i call 112 (the swedish 911) and make sure someone else notice the dog too and help it while i hurry to my job

42) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) yes, i think so. only my closest though, to give them a chance to say goodbye properly, but i wouldn’t really like other just acquaintances to reach out just bc of the circumstances

b) i try to travel as much as possible, party all i can, tell everyone i love how much they mean to me and just. live

c) of course, i would be scared to death (see what i did there) but i wouldn’t have any other choice but to fully live my last month

43) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

hard times by paramore!! it always makes me want to dance

44) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

no

45) How can I win your heart?

show any whatsoever interest in me lol

46) Can insanity bring on more creativity?

i guess,, i’m like the opposite of insanity though, i’m constantly numb and completely lacking any creativity, so it may work the other way too

47) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

hmm maybe my school application? i’m so fucking happy with my choice

48) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

hmm nothing too special i guess, just the usual loved and missed and so

49) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word “heart.”

like the anatomy and stuff,,, i really like biology, more than romances lol

50) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors?

usually different shades of blue, but right now all pastel colors, especially purple

51) What is your current desktop picture?

my locked screen is two of my best friends, and my home screen is paramore ofc

52) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

trump would be pretty nice

53) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

oh um like “name a few things you don’t like about me” or something, bc as i said, i hate conflicts

54) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

the ability to change the probability!!! it’s the ultimate superpower!!!

55) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

my tøp concert maybe? i was really euphoric then, and i haven’t really felt like that since, but i’m afraid i’ll destroy that memory if i could go back so idk

56) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

i’ve had quite a happy life yet, there’s no big thing i’d like to erase,, no i feel like every experience in my life has leaded me to where i am today, so i wouldn’t like to erase anything

57) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

hmm idk maybe alex turner. idk i feel like it would be pretty nice

58) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

italy maybe? my friends and i planned to go there this summer before the corona hit, so i’d like to go there lol

59) Ever been on a plane?

yeah several times

60) Give me your top 5 hottest celebrities.

idk idk i’m not really.. attracted to anyone rn? it’s kinda weird but there’s no one where i’m like wow this person is HOT,, nah i don’t really feel anything like that at the moment

[imi-ike]

tagged by @bisexualpattytolan in a ton of stuff so here is Too Much Information about me

Rules: tag 9 people you want to know better

How old are you? 26

What’s your current job? pharmacy technician

What are you talented at? crocheting, photoshop, dancing

What is a big goal you are working toward (or have already achieved)? i am working on getting ready to move to new york city sometime this year. it’s been a long time goal of mine. can’t wait to finally be Home, ya know?

What’s your aesthetic? stumbling your way through a messy room to get to a perfectly organized bookshelf, a desk full of empty teacups, odd numbers, the ugliest item of clothing on the rack, walking fast on a city street, mustard yellow pea coats, high-waisted jeans and leg warmers, handmade hats and store-bought scarves, like if a kate spade bag were a person...only messy

Do you collect anything? i guess playbills?

What’s a topic you always talk about? pretty little liars, broadway, feminism, ghostbusters, astrology

What’s a pet peeve of yours? people who just spit on the ground for no reason ew please stop ALSO OKAY SERIOUSLY smokers who are smoking until the literal last second before they walk in the door and then they exhale that final puff of smoke right into the room like excuse me my buddy my guy let me tell you about the main fucking reason you have to smoke outside it’s bc people are trying to breathe clean air in here my man

Good advice to give? guilty pleasures are bullshit if you like a thing just like it literally no one cares

What are three songs you’d recommend? find me - sigma feat. birdy, flux and flow - lights, she’s out of her mind - blink 182

Rules: Copy this post into a new text post, remove my answers and put in yours, and when you are done tag up to 10 people and also tag the person who tagged you… and most importantly, have fun!

a - age: 26 b - biggest fear: sharks c - current time: 10:11pm d - drink you last had: iced tea e - every day starts with: ghostbusters theme song alarm f - favorite song: whyyawannabringmedown - kelly clarkson g - ghosts, are they real: too much eerie shit has been reported for me to not think they are h - hometown: philadelphia i - in love with: not a damn person j - jealous of: people with great skin and practically hairless bodies k - killed someone: not that i can recall l - last time you cried: randomly yesterday while i was listening to defying gravity idk why fam i was going through it m - middle name: don’t have one n - number of siblings: one o - one wish: to be free of student loan debt p - person you last called/texted: my friend gibby. she wanted to ask if i thought she had a chance of ever dating kristen stewart. q - questions you’re always asked: how do you spell your name? you mean you never want to have kids? are you going to [event] BY YOURSELF? r - reasons to smile: when they play kelly clarkson on the radio, when your friends say things that reaffirm how much you love them and how proud you are of them as people in general but also for the open-minded brilliant caring feminist girl gang they’ve become, cute fanfictions, discount broadway tickets s - song last sang: candy store - heathers t - time you woke up: 7:27am u - underwear color: like a coral/peach color v - vacation destination: usually wildwood, nj w - worst habit: procrastination. or dermatillomania (not sure if i can consider that a “habit”) x - x-rays you’ve had: got a cervical spine xray and a chest xray y - your favorite food: mushrooms z - zodiac sign: leo

Survey

★ Nickname: neen, jay, my dad calls me deedee

★ Star sign: leo

★ Height: 5′0″ish

★ Time right now: 11:31pm

★ Favorite music artist(s): kelly clarkson, evanescence, sara bareilles, halsey, icon for hire

★ Last movie I watched: fast five

★ Last TV show watched: fringe

★ What are you wearing right now?: gray pajama pants, black kathy’s school of dance tshirt (shoutout)

★ When did you make your blog?: 2009???

★ What kind of stuff do you post: almost entirely fandom-related things, ghostbusters, kristen stewart, pretty little liars, teen wolf, ace text posts

★ Do you have any other blogs?: i used to have a bunch but i’ve gotten rid of them i am a very lazy blog owner

★ Do you get asks regularly?: not really

★ Why did you choose your URL?: because paige mccullers is literally everything to me. every single thing.

★ Gender: female

★ Hogwarts house: ravenclaw

★ Pokemon team: instinct

★ Favorite color: yellow

★ Average hours of sleep: max is 8, but lbr it’s usually more like 5

★ Lucky numbers: 7, 13, 713

★ Favorite characters: paige mccullers, meg masters, alice cullen, mickey milkovich, malia tate

★ How many blankets do you sleep with?: usually 2 throw blankets

★ Dream job: ugh i have such a hard time answering this question, i can be happy doing anything if the situation is right

10 characters, 10 fandoms

paige mccullers, pretty little liars

meg masters, supernatural

erica reyes, teen wolf

faith lehane, btvs

mickey milkovich, shameless

patty tolan, ghostbusters

alice cullen, twilight

elphaba thropp, wicked

emily gilmore, gilmore girls

logan echolls, veronica mars

tagged by @imjadedbutohsolovely for this last one! :)

rules: list 10 good things that happened in 2016 and then tag 10 friends

1. ghostbusters existed and it was wonderful and i love the toltzmann fandom

2. saw halsey in concert at madison square garden on my birthday

3. flew to chicago to see my best friend

4. flew to vegas for a work trip but also had so much fun and finally met @sex-hair-clarkson

5. figured out and accepted my (a)sexuality and let me tell you fam i feel fucking fantastic about it like...not knowing was so exhausting

6. got my first tattoo

7. finally got netflix

8. saw evanescence in concert for the first time amy is so amazing live i have been dreaming about seeing her since i was like 12 and it was perfect

9. paige mccullers came back to pretty little liars and i connected with a bunch of people over it and those people saved me and my mental health (i was not okay i was basically not eating bc i was so stressed) i would not have made it through the season or this upcoming season without them

10. the election was a clusterfuck but i got to vote for a woman to be president of the united fucking states and it was a fucking MOMENT and no one will take that from me

[metroidspeedrun]

200 questions omg

Holy fuck200: My crush’s name is: Erik199: I was born in: 1998 in Sacramento198: I am really: Weird197: My cellphone company is: T Mobile196: My eye color is: Dark Brown195: My shoe size is: 8.5194: My ring size is: 6.5 I think?193: My height is: 5’3192: I am allergic to: Nothing191: My 1st car was: N/A190: My 1st job was: Nanny189: Last book you read: Everything Everything (It has been months, it’s sad ik)188: My bed is: V big187: My pet: N/A186: My best friend: Um idk I mean probs you ig lol jk it you185: My favorite shampoo is: I have no idea184: Xbox or ps3: Xbox183: Piggy banks are: Cute but inefficient in today’s economy182: In my pockets: Nothing181: On my calendar: The date for my date and the hours I’ve worked180: Marriage is: Cool if you’re into that sort of thing179: Spongebob can: Be funny sometimes???178: My mom: Is cool sometimes??177: The last three songs I bought were? Hahaha nope176: Last YouTube video watched: Top 10 criminally underrated cartoons175: How many cousins do you have? Hella174: Do you have any siblings? 10173: Are your parents divorced? Nope172: Are you taller than your mom? Nope171: Do you play an instrument? Nope170: What did you do yesterday? Worked 2 shifts [ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: Nah not really168: Luck: Sorta167: Fate: Yes and no166: Yourself: Hahaha yikes that took a turn, I guess I do??165: Aliens: A little bit164: Heaven: Sort of but also not163: Hell: Yes162: God: Yes but like in an unorthodox sort of way161: Horoscopes: Astrology yes but the whole future-predicting part no160: Soul mates: Yes159: Ghosts: No158: Gay Marriage: Yuppp157: War: Nope156: Orbs: In what sense?155: Magic: Yes[ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: Kisses 153: Drunk or High: High152: Phone or Online: Online151: Red heads or Black haired: Dark hair 150: Blondes or Brunettes: Blondes149: Hot or cold: Cold148: Summer or winter: Winter147: Autumn or Spring: Autumn146: Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate145: Night or Day: Day144: Oranges or Apples: Oranges143: Curly or Straight hair: Curly142: McDonalds or Burger King: McDonalds141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk chocolate140: Mac or PC: Mac139: Flip flops or high heals: Heels138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: Sweet and poor137: Coke or Pepsi: Coke136: Hillary or Obama: Obama135: Burried or cremated: Cremated134: Singing or Dancing: Dancing133: Coach or Chanel: Neither132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: Who?131: Small town or Big city: Small town130: Wal-Mart or Target: Target129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Ben Stiller128: Manicure or Pedicure: Pedicure127: East Coast or West Coast: West coast126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas125: Chocolate or Flowers: Flowers124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney123: Yankees or Red Sox: Neither I hate baseball[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: Shitty, like use your fucking words no one has to die what the fuck is your problem121: George Bush: Bleh120: Gay Marriage: Yes119: The presidential election: Disgusting118: Abortion: Not my body, not my business117: MySpace: I had one when everyone had just stopped using it116: Reality TV: Dumb, women come on tv to be objectified and treated like overly-dramatic, catty, snakes115: Parents: They can be ok sometimes114: Back stabbers: Irrelevant to me at this point113: Ebay: Never heard of her112: Facebook: I use it to check on my ex when I miss him sometimes111: Work: Keeps me alive110: My Neighbors: Don’t know them at all109: Gas Prices: Too high, please lower them108: Designer Clothes: Unnecessary, if it’s over $25 chances are I don’t want it107: College: I can’t wait to go back106: Sports: Hockey is good, I like superbowl halftime shows105: My family: They’re okay104: The future: I have the next few years roughly planned out[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: Um at pride 102: Last time you ate: 4 hours ago101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: At pride100: Cried in front of someone: January 12th99: Went to a movie theater: It was for work and like 2 months ago98: Took a vacation: I was 797: Swam in a pool: Never, can’t swim96: Changed a diaper: Never95: Got my nails done: 1 year ago94: Went to a wedding: 12 years ago this October93: Broke a bone: Never92: Got a peircing: 16 years ago91: Broke the law: Um a few weeks ago probably jaywalking but it’s whatevs90: Texted: Yesterday[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: Probs you tbh88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: Sleep87: The last movie I saw: IWTV86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: Getting paid85: The thing im not looking forward to: Waking up at 5 tomorrow84: People call me: Little Foot83: The most difficult thing to do is: Stay asleep all night82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: No81: My zodiac sign is: Leo sun80: The first person i talked to today was: My mom79: First time you had a crush: I was 878: The one person who i can’t hide things from: You77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: Not in a while76: Right now I am talking to: No one75: What are you going to do when you grow up: Grow old74: I have/will get a job: I have a job73: Tomorrow: I have work again72: Today: I took a nap71: Next Summer: I will take more naps70: Next Weekend: I will try to take a nap69: I have these pets: N/A68: The worst sound in the world: Fire alarms67: The person that makes me cry the most is: My grandma but like that’s a natural response I think66: People that make you happy: You, Zoey, my boys, my sons, Maddie, and my boss 65: Last time I cried: Probably yesterday I can’t remember lol64: My friends are: All fucking great63: My computer is: Smol62: My School: Is old but nice61: My Car: N/A60: I lose all respect for people who: Say the ‘f’ word59: The movie I cried at was: IWTV58: Your hair color is: Dark brown bc it’s been less sunny 57: TV shows you watch: Gotham, Born This Way, Intervention, Stitchers, Andi Mack56: Favorite web site: Twitter55: Your dream vacation: Somewhere where I can sleep in a chair that vibrates54: The worst pain I was ever in was: When my back swelled and I had to go to the emergency room53: How do you like your steak cooked: Not at all lol52: My room is: Organized chaos51: My favorite celebrity is: Atm Kehlani50: Where would you like to be: In a massage chair but not an agressive one49: Do you want children: Yes48: Ever been in love: Yes47: Who’s your best friend: You46: More guy friends or girl friends: Equal amount tbh45: One thing that makes you feel great is: Long rides44: One person that you wish you could see right now: Literally all my friends at once43: Do you have a 5 year plan: Yes42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: No41: Have you pre-named your children: Maybe40: Last person I got mad at: Matthew probs39: I would like to move to: A sleepy lil town somewhere38: I wish I was a professional: Social worker[ My Favorites ]37: Candy: Spicy paletas36: Vehicle: Station Wagons35: President: N/A, I think they were all lw bad34: State visited: Nevada33: Cellphone provider: T Mobile ig32: Athlete: Nah31: Actor: Larenz Tate30: Actress: Carey Mulligan29: Singer: Fuckin um… Christina Aguilera28: Band: MCR27: Clothing store: SheIn26: Grocery store: WinCo25: TV show: Finding Carter (1st season)24: Movie: IWTV atm23: Website: Twitter22: Animal: Elephant or giraffe21: Theme park: Idk never been20: Holiday: Earth Day19: Sport to watch: Hockey18: Sport to play: Tennis17: Magazine: Teen Vogue16: Book: 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea15: Day of the week: Monday, Friday, Saturday14: Beach: Idk never been, can’t swim13: Concert attended: N/A12: Thing to cook: Chili11: Food: Vegan orange chicken10: Restaurant: Anna’s Vegan Cafe9: Radio station: 103.58: Yankee candle scent: Death lol idk7: Perfume: White citrus6: Flower: Stargazer lily5: Color: Sage green, pastel yellow, dusty rose4: Talk show host: N/A3: Comedian: Baron Vaughn or Ron Funches2: Dog breed: I love all dogs but pitbulls 1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Yeah I think so