#SOM reread

[tending-the-hearth]

thinking abt tlt, som, and ttc era percy

percy who's still struggling to find his footing at camp, and every single time during those first three prophecies, he's seen as the outcast, and never once brought into the fold until he comes back after finishing the prophecy.

there's always something that pushes him to the outskirts, something that gives the other campers fodder to make fun of him or completely ignore him.

he thinks he's found his place after the minotaur? nope, turns out everyone sees him as a bad omen and he doesn't make any friends because the entire camp refuses to be around him.

he thinks he's found his place after lighting thief? restoring zeus' bolt? NOPE he finds out tyson is a cyclopes and his brother and now one of his closest friends + the campers are icing him out and grover's not around.

he thinks he's found his place after sea of monsters? restored thalia's tree and hey, now he's got a cousin? NOPE he's pushed aside in favor of her by the campers and chiron and is seen as incompetent and his best friend has been kidnapped and he's being blamed.

rereading those first three books now is so painful, because the way percy gets treated by the camp hurts so much, because literally all he wants is to be accepted by this group of people he should have so much in common with, but every single turn meets him with more people pushing him away.

and it isn't until battle of the labyrinth, until he's named as the child of the prophecy, that people actually start to treat him as one of them.

[ampresandian]

I hope everyone else watched the show and then immediately started rereading the books. Personally it took me like a week to get through tlt and som and I'm trying to resist starting ttc just yet bc I have other things I should probably be doing

[acandletoguide]

Lila then:

Lila now:

[two-hands-toward-the-sun]

good morning! desire’s cleavage be upon thee ✨

[lukecastellanshandholder]

Ok so, as I said yesterday I'm rereading Sea of Monsters and I've gotta admit, there are a lot of parts that I didn't remember from it that deserve more appreciation.

(Long post incoming! 😅)

One of them that I really want to talk about is after Annabeth listens to the siren song and learns that her fatal flaw is hubris. When she was listening to the sirens, she saw a scene of her father and Athena happily together, along with Luke all sitting in central park. Surrounding them is a new Manhattan that Annabeth has built and it looks so much better than the western civilization that the gods have built.

When she's telling Percy about her fatal flaw, she talks about how the west represents a lot of the greatest things to ever come from mankind, but how your view starts to change when all you can see are the bad things. She says that would make someone start to think more like Luke. That if she could tear everything down and start everything a new, that she would be able to run and build things better. That if she could rebuild it, the world wouldn't be as messed up. There would be no more war, nobody homeless and left on the streets to fend for themselves.

And this is absolutely correct, this is essentially why Luke is doing this all to begin with. This is his core goal (purely Luke's and not Kronos). To make a better world for everyone. Where no one would have to go what he and countless others had been through. So that maybe others would be able to see the good in the world after all his life he had only been shown the bad.

But then there are these couple paragraphs after that. Those are super interesting to me and it gives so much insight on the universe and how certain people think.

"She (Annabeth) gazed into the distance. 'I'm not sure. But we have to save camp. If we don't stop Luke...'

She didn't need to finish. If Luke's way of thinking could even tempt Annabeth, there was no telling how many other half-bloods might join him."

First thing to remember, this is all from Percy's perspective. These are all his own thoughts and how he thinks about things. So I think the way Percy speaking about Annabeth in the last paragraph kinda shows how he tends to think of her as strong for not thinking like Luke. Like Luke is kind of weak for thinking the way he does about things needing to change and rebelling against the gods. But also like Luke's way of thinking of his envisioning of a better world without the gods in control is, in itself, something dangerous.

Now, to the other demigods, if the gods were to fall and those demigods were to join Luke's/ Kronos's side, then... It really wouldn't be that dangerous for them. At least not much more dangerous than it is for them now with the gods ruling over everything. Because the gods and Titans are very much the same.

But ultimately, my main point is, Percy seems to have this underlying fear and aversion to anyone doing anything to go against the gods. But why? Why when we see that he is to his core, more on the rebellious side? Much like the ocean, Percy doesn't like to be restrained.

Because, he's been influenced by the gods and camp (especially Chiron). He's been steered to believe that even the thought of going against the gods is wrong and shouldn't be done. He's had Chiron who's been telling him that the gods falling out of power would be the worst thing to ever happen. One god in particular (ahem, Hermes) has used Percy's strong sense of loyalty and family to lead him, to manipulate him farther and put in his head that turning his back on his family (in this case the gods) is something that you should never do.

And it's not just Percy who has been raised to think this way, it's a lot of the other demigods at camp who stay loyal to the gods until their final breaths. Who stay loyal to them even as they watch their siblings die left and right before their eyes.

And Kronos is doing this exact same thing to Luke. It's the same thing that Kronos would've done to his subjects if he would've won the war. There is no difference between the gods and the Titans and, once again, Percy and Luke showcase that perfectly.

And people who believe that the gods are better than the Titans like to bring up the line from TLT when Luke says something along the lines of "the ones who serve Kronos will be treated well and be powerful, the others who don't will be killed."

Yeah, the gods do the exact same thing. They kill or torture anyone who defies them, and gives power to the ones who serve them. We have plenty of examples of this, two major ones are right in the last chapters of The Last Olympian. Luke rebelled against the gods, as he was fated to, and he died as he was fated to, along with most of the other traitors. And Percy, the one who had served the gods the most, he was offered godhood. Power. So yeah, there really is no difference between them.

But I just think it's so interesting how those two paragraphs can give so much insight into how Percy views things. And this is just from the second book. And the book that tends to be most people's least favorite book in the series.

[zoebelladona]

PIA ZOEBELLADONA YOU ARE SO RIGHT !!!! the thaluke goggles NEED to be on. personally, i think it is entirely possible that luke knew about the fleece bc he had researched it priorly to attempt to save thalia from the fate she had been subjected to by zeus. the luke goes on a quest for the fleece is too real of a possibility if you ask me 😵‍💫

in canon i cannot decide if luke knew or not that the fleece could bring thalia back. if he didn't i see it this way: luke poisons thalia's tree so chb is given a quest to get the golden fleece so he can get the golden fleece and revive kronos, he always planned to let the questers take the fleece back after he was done with it because he wouldn't have let thalia's tree die that was never his objective, he did not want to kill thalia. if he did it's like you said: he poisons thalia's tree in a bit of a desperate attempt to find a magical object that, after doing some research, he realises can not only revive kronos but bring thalia back. did he blindly believe she would side with him? probably. but the point stays the same: luke did not plan to let thalia die, if she came back it was a bonus, he could not let thalia die.

which leads to my "luke goes on the fleece quest" fic. it's an au where luke does not join kronos and in a desperate attempt to free thalia from her fate he poisons her tree to be given a quest for the one object that could save her ✨️

[seaweedwolf]

I'll never be able to read SOM without screaming about how Percy is so smart and insightful in his own way and this is showing the leadership qualities he will developed by time of TLO? Also the kickass way he knocked Polythemus down??

Like yes Percy you tell Grover and Clarisse which strategy to face the cyclops with to distract from Annabeh.

You stop the argument between Annabeth and Clarisse happening and solve it logically and having the understanding of what the prophercy means. You step back from ending of the quest and let Clarisse. You are trusting and delegating such an important task. (hey Rick, Percy beat one fatal flaw in TLT by leaving his mum and stood back and let someone do something he can't do in SOM, what's the next fatal flaw he'll have which will have been beaten in TTC?)

Also percy in COTG when you're turned into 8 year olds and stop the argument between Grover and Annabeth, you've done this before as I just stated, so no you are very calm and level headed in a crisis!

Also, the fun parallel between Percy Feeling the panic when transformed into a guinea pig and the same with him as a little kid?

[murasaki-cha]

The Lightning Thief reread done!

Now onto The Sea of Monsters!!!!

[titsthedamnseason]

NEW VE SCHWAB BOOK HAS THE SHADES OF MAGIC CHARCATRRS HOW WAS I NOT AWARE OF THIS ?!

[creative-hanyou-girl]

My PJO Story: 10+ Years in the Making

It's so crazy to think that we are less than 2 days away from the Percy Jackson premiere. I've been waiting for this series for 2 years from the second I heard about it. If I'm being honest, it was only some months ago that I actually finished the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series for the 1st time before moving on to HOO. Yet, even before then, I've been reading The Lightning Thief book over and over again since I was 11 or 12.

When I was younger, it was the movies (ugh, I know) that convinced me to read the Percy Jackson books. I had already seen them around school in the library and around my peers, but I personally felt no urge to pick the books up myself. I was DEEP in my Warrior Cats obsession at that point and believed no other book series could top it for me. But then we watched the Peter Johnson movies in class, and I'll be honest, I ended up really liking them. I know, I know. They are awful adaptations and still not the greatest stand-alone movies either, but I enjoyed them at that age since I hadn't read the books and knew Jack-shit about real Greek mythology at the time. And even now, while I'm no longer blind to how bad those movies are, there are still a few visuals from the 1st movie that still stand out in my mind to this day, like Percy's water trident.

But the greatest thing the movies did for me, and the reason I have to give them the obligatory 1 ⭐star, is that they finally convinced me to pick up The Lightning Thief and give this series, that was all the rage amongst my friends and peers, a chance. My mom got me the entire boxset for Christmas that year, and I got to reading. And I fell in love! I was blown away by the humor and fun I had reading The Lightning Thief. And it felt amazing to see a main character have a disability and use it as their superpower. I don't have ADHD or dyslexia, but I did have a stroke as a baby which affected me physically AND mentally, so in some ways, I could still relate to what Percy and other characters in the book were going through, at least a little bit.

Once I finished TLT, I was eager to start on The Sea of Monsters, and I even started reading into that book, too. But in a bizarre twist, the 2nd book disappeared one day from my nightstand. I looked EVERYWHERE for it, but I never found my copy of the 2nd book. I was so upset and embarrassed that I lost it, and I was worried to tell my parents for fear they'd think I was irresponsible for losing a book, so I just....didn't. And because I was convinced that I could still find my personal copy of the Sea of Monsters, I refused to check out a copy from my school library. And so because of my embarrassment and stubbornness, I would not continue the rest of the PJO series for years to come.

But that didn't stop me from rereading The Lighting Thief periodically throughout my teenage years going into adulthood. I read it for enjoyment, to refresh myself on the story and what happens in it, and especially when we'd go on vacation to the beach since, you know, it's the perfect summer beach read. This is just my opinion, but while TLT did set up groundwork for SOM, it could also be read as a stand-alone book, too. And for years, that's how I treated The Lighting Thief. I always planned on buying a new copy of The Sea of Monsters as well, but stuff would happen and I just wouldn't get it for one reason or another. And to be honest, I think part of it was a sentimentality thing with me. I was so sentimental about The Lightning Thief since it was the only book from PJO that I read fully, that part of me was worried about the other books overshadowing it.

So for years, that's how it went. Until, in late 2021, I found out that Percy Jackson was being made into a TV show. And my mind was blown; I DID NOT expect a book series that was close to 15 years old and after 2 failed movies to get a TV show made after it. In fact, I thought it was a joke at first or that there were people trolling the series on the internet. But then when I looked more into it, and especially when I saw that the author, Rick Riordan himself, was heavily involved in the project, the reality of this news finally started to sink in.

And I was ecstatic!

But it also gave me the reminder that I had yet to read the rest of the series past The Lightning Thief, and I wanted to go into the TV show having read the books beforehand. And so, after literal years of not telling them, and because it was right around Christmas and my mom was practically begging me to tell her what I wanted that year (I usually don't want much for Christmas), I told her I wanted Percy Jackson: The Sea of Monsters for Christmas that year.

And I finally got it.

But because life happens, I wasn't able to actually start my planned binge reading of the Percy Jackson series until this past spring going into summer of this year, 2023. But once I had a free couple days to spare, I finally sat down and read the entire Percy Jackson and the Olympians series for the 1st time, starting with exactly the same old copy of The Lightning Thief I've had and loved since the age of 11 or 12.

And it was AMAZING!

This series truly is something else, and it's no wonder its maintained its popularity throughout the years. Its funny, sweet, action-packed, crazy, and just all around fun to read with lovable characters. It's one of my absolute favorite book series of all time and I'm so excited about the show dropping in less than 2 days now.

But it's the fact that we will be seeing the 1st book specifically, The Lighting Thief, come to life lovingly and faithfully first, that has me the most excited. For so long, this was the 1 book in the series that I read. It was the 1 book in the series that always stayed with me when I couldn't continue reading past it. It was the book that introduced me, and many others, to all these amazing characters and the world of Gods and Goddesses.

So while it is true that the later books in PJO are objectively better, it will always be The Lighting Thief specifically that will always have a special place in my heart. And I am thrilled that this first book of Percy Jackson (and hopefully the later books) is FINALLY getting the adaptation it deserves, and that I'll get to revisit the 1 book that has been with me since childhood in a new light!

Long Live Percy Jackson!

(Also yes, I made that bookmark)

[scrambledd3ggss]

I was just re-reading a few chapters in SoM and I found the Hermes scene in it and I’m actually screaming-

so Hermes was on the phone talking about mail stuff and he said “Listen, just refer him to Eris in customer service.” ERIS, THE GODDESS OF CHAOS, WORKING IN CUSTOMER SERVICE

[homosexual-fanfiction]

the ~proper~ em dash is kind of ugly

[sheisbeautyweareworldass]

wait why does helnik lowkey clears the other soc couples….

[nouvxllev]

Hi, just wanna say I love your stuff! I was wondering if you’d do a Jenna x reader who is the daughter of Winona Ryder and Jenna meets her on the set of Beetlejuice 2. Winona acting as a wing woman for Jenna.

head over heels, your hand over mine

Pairing: Jenna Ortega x Fem!Reader

Summary: ^ request!

Words: 5.0k

Warnings: longer than i intended it to be

a/n: first of all... tysm!!! and second of all, thank you for the request!! means alot to me and i wrote it to the best of my abilities, hope you'll like it!!!

seq. || masterlist

Shit, shit, shit...

Jenna cursed under her breath as she practically hammered down the first-floor button as if that was going to make it go faster.

She glanced over to the indicator right above the door, the numbers slowly inching towards the ground floor. Her foot kept directing her side to side in the elevator, a stressed back-and-forth pace she caught herself on all while she gripped the Beetlejuice 2 script right in her hands, the paper almost being punctured with holes and such.

Jenna could almost blame herself for this.

Actually, she does. She damned herself so much she wouldn't be surprised if she got hit by a bus, really.

It wasn't any other day you'd get a role in Beetlejuice, 2, might she add, and even landing the role of the daughter of Winona Ryder who is possibly one of the most outstanding actresses out there and a 90s icon.

And now she's just slightly fucking it up with first impressions with how she's atleast 10 minutes late to their set because she spent her entire night in reading and rereading the script over and over until she perfected her lines to the point it's probably better if she'd just make Beetlejuice herself.

When the doors slid open, Jenna bolted out until she made her way to the entrance, her hand tightly clutching that damn script and her other gripping the strap of her bag.

Fumbling with her phone to call an Uber, she couldn't help but grimace at the thousands upon thousands of texts saying that she was late and her alarm clocks repeatedly being turned on to snooze just minutes before.

Of course, this day of all days just so happened to be the day that the universe decided that it had a grudge on Jenna for whatever reason because all Ubers were somehow booked and it would probably take atleast 30 minutes for another one.

So, like the hardworking actress she is determined to get a first impression even with punctuality falling behind her, she ran.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It wasn't long, thank-fucking-god, till Jenna got to set. She slowed her pace a little when she saw the cameras and people surrounding a particular area.

She took a moment to compose herself as she approached them, smoothing down her pants and fixing her hair all while she tried to catch her breath before possibly collapsing on the ground. The crew members spared her a glance, how comforting, even if they all had concerned looks on their faces.

Jenna always worked with such talented actors and directors, and now here she was working with Winona Ryder meanwhile she was looking like she ran a marathon on the side while going to set.

"You're here!" Winona called out, lowering the script in her hands while she offered a warm smile. "We almost thought there were some complications in your schedule."

The young actress offered a sheepish smile, embarrassment flowing in her mind as she offered a weak hand gesture. "I'm so sorry, all Ubers were somehow booked and I woke up late." She admitted before introducing herself. "I'm Jenna. Ortega." She added.

Winona chuckled, "No worries. The tech team is sorting out some equipment issues, so it's a bit of free time right now." She explained, offering a handshake. "Winona Ryder. Your mother. Well, on-screen." She joked while Jenna laughed with it.

"God, sorry if I look worn out. I really admire your work, it's all so amazing." Jenna took her hand, reciprocating the gesture. She was almost going to add something until a figure approached Winona, looking like a split-perfect resemblance of her. And oh how she did the fastest double-take in her whole life.

"Oh, right!" Winona pulled, possibly the most prettiest and gorgeous, girl Jenna has laid eyes on in her 21 years of continuous breathing by the shoulders and pushed her in front of the young actress. Now life without you suddenly looks like something she just completely wasted her precious time on.

Just by looking at Winona and how excitement reflected in her eyes, Jenna could tell how much she beamed with pride for her daughter; it made her heart swell.

"Meet my daughter, Y/n."

There were things Jenna should do when she meets someone. She introduces herself in a calm manner and maybe engage in some friendly talk with them whether if it's the most awkward-est thing in her life or one of the moments she'd like to spend forever in.

What she shouldn't do is slowly have a mid-introduction nosebleed, completely throw out the knowledge that she has the ability to speak and say words while her mouth is half-agape and her eyes wide and never blinking. This rule seems to be more strict when she's convinced she has met the love of your life.

It's safe to say that Jenna checked all the boxes on the latter.

Jenna met your gaze, and oh how that was the stupidest decision she had ever made in her entire life. She felt a blush creep up her cheeks, breath caught in her throat, she tried to speak for a second but nothing came. It was like she was drowning but in the best way possible. And also falling head over heels in the worst way possible.

It's concerning how she almost wants to drop down and marry you on the spot; she's already rehearsing her vows inside her brain.

Jenna raised her hand, a shaky one at that, to offer a handshake. "I'm Jenny," she managed to squeak out, her cheeks burning with embarrassment at fumbling her own damn name. "I mean, Jenna! Sorry, not Jenny. I'm Jenna. Jenna Ortega." Oh, fuck, please just slit my throat already.

In every bad and awkward introduction, there's always someone from the other line slightly concerned but plays with it.

Your eyes crinkled, a bright sight to see that would put all sunrises to shame, and your lips parted like how the clouds part after a gloomy day, letting out a laugh that calmed Jenna's heart almost immediately. It was still running and skipping a fuck ton of beats per second, but your laugh seemed to warm it all.

"I'm Y/n, of course." You held Jenna's faltering eye contact as you reciprocated her gesture, "I'm really only here to accompany my mom," you explained. Please stay here forever. Better yet, be with me. Jenna almost said.

You shook her hand in the most softest way possible, her palm fitting right into yours. "Can't believe I met you, honestly." Jenna heard you mutter under your breath, a squeal following it.

Oh, if falling head over heels over you was a sin, she'd gladly be the epitome of something so mortal.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And that was only a week ago. Just imagine how much internal panic she goes through whenever she sees you now.

Jenna repeatedly cursed under her breath, staring at the reflection of herself in the mirror as she gripped the cold parts of the sink, glaring at herself in complete thought.

Almost so serious as if her mind wasn't battling with something so completely stupid she'd rather drown in self-pity and misery.

Jenna Ortega, deemed as America's #1 IT girl who practically swooned all seven continents by now, almost had a near anaphylactic shock when her hand grazed over yours and how you gave her possibly the most sweetest and soul-crushing smile with that stupidest crinkle in your eye to ever exist on this damned earth, holy fuck.

Why should she be so head over heels for you?

She lowered her head in defeat, a heavy sigh escaping her as the same image of your smile flickered in her mind, and now a stupid grin from your stupid image graced her lips.

It was only a week in being on the Beetlejuice set, and she damn near lost her mind.

You were always there, well of course you were there since you were Winona Ryder's daughter, but she didn't expect to be so obsessed with you to the point she needs to go to the bathroom to silently scream whenever she hears or sees your intoxicating smile.

It's sweet. Almost endearing to her.

As if she even has the right to even think about you in that way.

Jenna stepped outside, patting her hands dry by the hem of her shirt. her name already being called out by the directors, their voices only getting louder and louder until it dwindled down to nothing and she could only assume that Winona stopped them, it was still her break after all. She was almost like a real mother to her, a comforting one at that.

She started to take a pattern in her steps before she saw you sitting on the railings of the trailer. More importantly, Jenna's trailer.

Okay, she shouldn't have seen this as a sign from the universe that you liked her back, but she did and that was all the hope that the fate or whatever deity could do because she was too desperate and too drunk on the lack of attention and attraction you were giving her.

But how could she not do that when you look so perfect just being... you? Being everything she wanted? Needed? Just being so damn perfect almost feels like Jenna could die.

"You like my daughter, don't you."

Jenna looked behind her, the sudden voice that crept being Winona, the mother of the daughter she had been smitten for, a noticeable faint smile on her lips. It was more of a statement than a question. A fact, really.

Jenna could almost deny it if it wasn't so accurate. But what was she supposed to say? "Yes, I do like your daughter, in fact, I love her so much I would absolutely give up my very career to buy her the most expensive wedding ring to ever be created from the hands of a human, or even a Greek God perhaps, to show that she owns my entire heart, body, and soul."

Panic was evident, Winona could clearly tell by the way Jenna looked like was scramming to think up of a half-assed excuse.

"Yes—I mean, not like like. I love her, really. She's talented, hardworking, and passionate in the things she talks about. But that's really it; I love Y/n, in a friendly way." Jenna stammered. Even if she was spouting complete lies and nonsense about how she doesn't have a massive crush on you, her gaze was stuck on, of course, you yourself.

Winona arched an eyebrow, "Jenna, I know when someone is horribly in love with my daughter and who’s not."

"The both of you were always somehow joined together, even if none of you were talking. You’re always finding a reason to bring her up in a conversation even if no one was even talking about her. Also, everyone takes notice of how your gaze was always focused on Y/n. Even on scene, you couldn’t take your eyes off of her for a second."

Yeah, that seems about right.

Jenna sighed, her line of sight never laying off of you. It's amazing how you still haven't noticed she and your mother was staring at you like a bunch of stalkers.

"Y/n deserves someone like her, someone in her league," she turned around, now walking in the opposite direction to her original one. She almost sounded like a teenage boy who realized they couldn't get with the popular girl. "She looks like someone even from the heavens above couldn’t fathom they created her from their own mind and hands."

Winona's expression softened as she caught up to Jenna, now walking beside her. "If you, The Jenna Ortega, fail to get her attention and love then it's all over for us." She never heard someone talk so romantic about her daughter, it's truly unfair how the ones who love the most always fall short.

Jenna's steps slowed, her body slumping against the fall as her gaze was fixed on the ground. God, why was she acting like this over you?

The young actress nodded, her hands going up to her face and sliding them down as she spoke, "She's like this incredible and unattainable dream you want to continue after you wake up, Winona." She mumbled through her hands, "Y/n's gorgeous, gentle, charming, and just… perfect." She let go of her face, her hands now on her sides. "It's intimidating just by looking at her, knowing she's the essence of beauty and perfection. Like, how do you compete with that? Overall be someone who she wants to stick by her side?"

The actress observed the young one, Jenna's head down and fidgeting with her rings. Winona could almost say that this was the most vulnerable sight she ever saw from her. "You don't have to match her perfection, let alone measure yourself up to that; you just need to be the missing piece she didn't know she needed. "

Jenna took a deep breath, her head slowly rising, "I just don't want to mess it up. She deserves someone as awesome as her, and if she ever likes me back, I'm afraid of waking up and realizing I'm not enough for her to be someone she loves."

Winona tilted her head, crossing her arms, "Tell you what, I don't know much about my daughter now. She's not closed off, but she isn't open either." She could see how Jenna flicked her head upwards, listening attentively. "But I do know that she's been watching all of your movies and shows up to this point."

Jenna's eyes widened in surprise. She doesn't wanna take any risks, but she doesn't wanna lose any chances either. "She... she has?"

Winona nodded, a soft and warm smile playing on her lips, just like the one you always have if not more comforting.

"I could never hear the end of it. She says you have this genuine charm whenever you speak, you're calm but you're also being true to yourself. Y/n admires you so much, I almost get sick of it," she laughed that pulled a chuckle from Jenna. "You're perfect in her eyes, but that's not what she likes about you. She likes you because you're authentic, yourself." She reached out for Jenna's shoulders, giving it a reassuring squeeze, "I'll be your wingman. I'm sure you're the perfect girl for my daughter."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And that was maybe two to three months ago.

Now Jenna's thinking that you might be the most oblivious person to ever roam this entire globe. She's been dropping hints everywhere you go and you still wouldn't catch up that she has feelings for you!

Ever since Jenna got into Winona's wing, she knew everything that makes you happy. Your music taste, what type of flowers you like, what type of outings you like, clothes, scents, foods, colors, even legos, just basically everything under the sun she gave to you within a heartbeat.

Jenna gives you flowers everyday, hell even bouquets if she's feeling fancy. Reads and writes you letters, and ever since Winona gave her your number, she's been sending you voicemails of your favorite songs every morning as some goodmorning text. She's been nothing but romantic to you! Was she just missing something?

The only thing that really progressed was something of strangers to friends. The two of you were as close as ever to the point if one of you were needed, somebody probably would need to surgically remove both of you.

But that was it! No nothing, just friends. It was selfish for Jenna to want something more when she has the love of her life close to her as a friend, sure, but she needed just a little bit more before she mentally goes insane.

"I mean, come on!" Jenna complained to Winona, sitting across from the other chair just right beside her trailer, script in her hands but she was paying more attention to Jenna. "Flowers, letters, voicemails… I'm practically screaming 'I like you' at this point." She slumped over the table, "or maybe she's just really ignoring them."

"I think you're thinking too deeply, Jenna," Winona stated, looking over to somewhere far, "maybe you should confess. She's right there."

Jenna was about to stand up and say it all out and die in a hole if she gets rejected until she realized you were wearing something so... fucking gorgeous? stunning? breathtaking? ethereal? She needed a stronger word than all words combined.

It wasn't your everyday casual wear, in fact, it was something you'd wear to go on a date. A date that meant something, a date that you'd go with another person and to confess their love.

Oh, don't fucking tell her she was too slow to confess and some random dude confessed earlier.

"I don't..." Jenna stammered, she could sense that agonizing feeling of her heart sinking, a stinging pain but it was mixed with immense pressure, like she was almost drowning. "I don't really think it's the right time."

Winona let out a sympathetic sigh, "she did tell me that she was going somewhere important." She waved in your direction, grabbing your attention. "Y/n!"

Jenna didn't know it was possible to drown without having any bodies of water near you, now she was fully experiencing it by how her heart sank even further as she heard Winona's words.

She shouldn't be surprised, after all, somebody actually had the guts and mindset to actually confess to you personally without having to hide behind a facade and without having to drop a fuck ton of hints instead of saying it out loud.

It stung. Thinking that someone out there was that one for you. And how that someone was never Jenna. But it was sweet. She winced.

Jenna couldn't shake the pang and sting of disappointment as she watched to walk over to Winona, a smile on your lips like you've met the most wonderful person to ever be in your life. She couldn't read if it was real, and she hoped to God it was fake.

"What's with the get-up?" Winona asked, standing up while giving Jenna the look.

"Going on a date with this guy, he asked me." You smiled, yet again, but it was even brighter.

Yeah, she figured. When did she even assume that you liked women anyway?

"Can I borrow your car, mom, please?" You asked of her, your puppy eyes going in action while you mentally crossed your fingers.

Jenna wasn't the one to brag, but she could drive a car! Not that idiot guy who couldn't even take whatever vehicle to fetch her as a nice gesture. Hell, it was a date for godsakes!

Winona sighed, glancing between Jenna and you. "Sure, you can borrow the car," she stated before digging into her pockets and fetching her car keys, plotting it down to your hands, "but make sure to bring it back in one piece."

Jenna bit her lip, suppressing the urge to completely pull herself out of her chair and scream 'I love you so goddamn much, Y/n! Can't you see I'm the one for you and not some guy who couldn't even go the mile to drive you to the damn date!?' But no. Instead, she stayed in her seat, nodded as a goodbye, and forced yet another smile.

"Thanks for the flowers by the way, Jenna! I should really pay you back sometime." You chuckled, before hugging her head as your way of goodbye. "I'll tell you all about it when I get home."

"Don't worry about the flowers. No need to pay me back," Jenna replied, doing her damn best to keep her tone light and her knuckles not so light. As you hugged her, Jenna couldn't help but savor the moment, imagining that it wasn't a goodbye to go off on some date with some random dude but rather a lovely gesture. "I'll be waiting to hear all about it."

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That was atleast three to five hours ago.

Jenna never knew how a 2$ caesar salad bought from a suspicious vendor on the sidewalks could be so depressing but still mock her on how she just lost the love of her life to someone who actually had the guts to confess until she actually experienced it.

It was a slow day on set. Probably because it was already so late at night. There were still some scenes being recorded, but most of it was Winona's.

So along those hours when Jenna wasn't with you or she couldn't text you through the phone, all she could really do was stare from afar and hope that you'd magically have some miraculous change of mind mid-date and maybe you'll soon believe and realize Jenna was the one for you after all.

Of course, life wasn't like a damn movie and that damn date was still going to happen no matter what she does.

Winona sat beside Jenna, offering a sympathetic look at how Jenna was poking around her lettuce. "You know that's her quote-on-quote I don't really give two shits outfit but I still need to look good for a requirement that is people's feelings."

Jenna let go of her fork, damn even it looked sad. "But she looks beautiful."

Winona could almost roll her eyes if not for the young actress wallowing in her own thoughts. "It's because you're head over heels for her, Jenna. She could wear some obnoxious color-clashing clothes and she'd still look like a goddess for you."

Jenna sighed, picking up her fork again and halfheartedly stabbing a folded lettuce leaf. "I mean, don't you?" she asked, glancing at Winona. "You're her mother."

Winona shrugged, "Her clothes, her choice, but I still absolutely would not." She laughed, and her smile brightened when Jenna allowed a smile to crack through her lips.

Jenna could almost face-plant herself into the salad bowl if not for a notification pinging in Winona's phone. A notification that Winona only applied for you.

"...Or you could tell her that she's much better off with you rather than some guy that stood her up." Winona showed the phone to Jenna, your message illuminating on the screen.

y/n

mom can u pick me up? karaoke room 217 stood up on me lol come quick, pls. thx

Jenna would've been lying if she said she wasn't jumping, screaming, throwing up in literal joy.

Well, of course, she was mad that you of all people were stood up, but she was semi-glad that you were.

Jenna's urgency was visible as she scrambled to get out of her seat, grabbing her bag with such hast and making a sudden beeline for the exit.

"Tell her that you can't go! I wanna surprise her," She yelled to Winona, her excitement in her voice echoing through the room. It's almost weird and insane how happy she was about how you were stood up.

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You waited for 2 hours.

It wasn't disappointing. You already knew it was just some sort of dare or a prank that one of his friends pulled, but you showed up anyway. Not like because you wanted to play with his feelings; you couldn't do that if you didn't have any.

In fact, you had feelings for Jenna.

Ever since she showed up on your screen, she was the only actress you could ever think about. She was charming, alluring, the only person who could make the daylight so dark if her smile was out of place.

You didn't know her, personally then, but you loved her. You were willing to start wars with the world, may it be against you or may all odds and fate oppose you, you’d do everything for her even if it kills you to be someone who would take all her hidden suffering and plead for tears with your palms locked and thrown away.

And now that you were working with her on set, you couldn't help but be someone you're not. All thanks to you and your mother on reluctantly giving up on the idea of not bringing you to set. You wanted to confess, you really did. It was just a silly little crush like you'd always have but this one with Jenna seemed real and your life would've ended if your feelings were rejected.

Though, even after all that, Jenna was the one you wanted to be with. The one you hoped would walk through that damn door and hug you until your worries and thoughts all disappeared, only met with her voice and her comforting arms.

That would've been a fleeting memory, wishful thinking. That is until the very girl that made you go insane rushed into the room.

What the fuck.

She was exhausted, you could tell by her chest rising and falling as she caught her breath, you couldn't help but smile at the sight of her; looking like she had gone the extra mile and maybe even drove a car on the way instead of running, just to be there with you. You could almost start laughing and be that snarky person you've always been to her if not for everything else fading into the background until Jenna was the only one left.

Without hesitation, she pulled you into a tight embrace, wrapping her arms around your body as she tightened the hug as if you'd die if she ever let go of your body. The warmth of her touch, the comfort in her soul, and her very being brought something so grand as you hugged her back. You feared that letting go would mean losing her forever, and she thought the same way.

"I love you." She murmured on your shoulders, closing her eyes. You notice how her voice cracked with vulnerability and almost sorrow as you tightened your hold on her.

"I love you," she whispered yet again, as if you didn't hear her the firs time. "I love you, I love you, I just love you." She dug her head under your neck, her breath warm on your skin as you waited for her to finish.

You could feel Jenna's heartbeat against your chest, fast and beating while it synced with your own. "I love you, Y/n. You don’t know how many lifetimes I would kill myself for you to look into my soul, everything beneath, and even the darkest parts of my heart so then you’ll see how I perceive you to be everything I look for. I can't understand how you don't understand how much you mean to me. How much your laughter was something I didn't know would be the cure to whatever terminal illness I had in life, your actions being my motivation, your soul being my guiding light, and your smile being something so bright that not even the sun could beat its glory."

Jenna slowly pulled away from you, her eyes searching yours for a reaction. The room was always so silent, but it never felt like it was the funeral of sound itself.

"I'm sorry—That—That wasn't... I didn't—" she stammered, her body already getting up and pulling away from you.

Gently, you reached out and cupped her face with your hands, your thumbs brushing away the newly formed tears that had welled up in her eyes and dripped from her cheeks. You could feel the warmth of her skin beneath your touch, her freckles, and everything that made Jenna her was right beneath your palm. You want nothing but to cherish it.

You couldn't think of a reply. You could, but it would never beat the confession Jenna had for you. It was more than a mere confession, but something out of a book that would put every writer to shame.

"Is this okay?" Your eyes searched for Jenna's consent in hers as you leaned in ever so slightly, her breath lingering on your skin until Jenna's lips met yours in a hesitant, gentle kiss. The touch of her soft lips against yours sent a shiver down your spine, her hands coming up to cradle your face as she melted into you while your own hands found their way to her waist, pulling her closer as the kiss deepened.

Life felt like something you wasted without her lips touching yours. How you felt everything and how you were everything under her soft touch, her presence. It was if every moment before her had been leading to this one. Every heartbeat, every breath, every time you've experienced something happy, sad, or even something conflicted was building up to the moment your lips finally met hers. You felt whole, alive, reassured, and comforted.

Her touch felt like a warm embrace from something so indestructible, a star so far away that only you could see it shine from afar but yet you could feel every inch of its presence.

Then it stopped. The both of you pulled back.

But your heart never did.

"You know I asked for your mom to be my wingman."

"Please don't destroy this moment we have by mentioning my mom, Jenna. I'm serious."

Jenna chuckled, her eyes twinkling, "give her some credit. I never would've confessed to you without her."

You couldn't help but smile, realizing she was still the Jenna you fell in love with. "I guess, but I don't really want to talk about my mom after I just got stood up and then kissed the girl I love."

Jenna's chuckle turned into a soft giggle, her hand finding it's way to your palm as she intertwined her fingers with yours. "Also, for the record, that guy was an idiot."

You nodded after shared laughter. With everything that's going around between the two of you, you almost miss how Winona arrived just in time. Standing by the door with a smile on her face.

But even with Jenna's hand over yours, she'd still fall head over heels for you.

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just some fuckass aftermath dialogues:

W: "You finally confessed." J: "Did she tell you?" W: "Well for one she's been awfully cheery and gave me a questioning I love you mom and offered me to go shopping with her."

[two-hands-toward-the-sun]

desire i love you but if you disrespect calliope again i’ll punch you in your perfect mouth

[porpunta]

🌒 sleepy boy

Chapter 10 of "It is what demon's blood does" still in process, as I'm overwhelmed by everything happening in my life right now. I feel like bad nights follow me till the daylight and transform into panic attacks. I've written like 2/3 of whole chapter by now, yet I'm convinced it's bad and I must reread it again and again.

I drew som' sketch to cheer you up, so please don't judge me. If you know, accidentally, ppl who check my work's update on ao3, let them know I try my best and I love you all🦢

(c) Porpunta