#SOMETHING GAWDAMMIT

[alphasunpup]

I am an exhausted little werebear. I don't want to deal with petty, immature, weak-minded young adults who are intimidated by me being my authentic self (genuinely get some fucking therapy if someone being happy and comfortable within themselves makes you insecure). I don't want to deal with the fact I've genuinely hit winter brain which means my only focus is getting food, sleeping, and masturbating but I still have assignments to deal with. I literally just want to eat 3 meals a day, masturbate, and sleep for like 12 hours. CAN I ACTUALLY FUCKING HIBERNATE?!?! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR!?!??!

[bxxth1ll]

Sir, your backstory is going to start making me sob here. I need something sweet now because GAWDAMMIT i can't

Where are ya folks gettin' my backstory from!?

[hypocriticaltypwriter]

Just to be clear with yall this movie is my personality. My everything. This movie was something that was on CONSTANTLY in my bedroom growing up and it shows.

This underrated piece of work is actually what inspires my artwork and hopeful career in the future. This is the aesthetic I want to achieve, AND DON BLUTH IS SUCH A CREATIVE AMAZING MIND GAWDAMMIT 🙌😭🙏

[luci-z-wont-shut-up]

I FORGOR AGAIN GAWDAMMIT

"You made it up. Without any issue" John buddy? buddy? John are you OK?

"Grabbed at his chest nervously" SHOT IN THE DARK BUT HES WEARING SOME SORTA MAGIC AMULET ALSO

Yeah arthur that's not sus at allllllll

Oh goody, a b r i d g e

BITCH TELL US WHAT YOU KNOW

Ohhhhhh waitaminute are they being watched again? I'm so confused WHAT IS UP WITH THIS SHIFTY ASS SKULL. YORICK I LOVE YOU BUT *shaking him like a maraca*

Oh is this a gods need mortals to do their work" sorta thing (emphasis on need)?

Ohp???? Do I sense another big offscreen secret but from *Arthur* this time?????

Yes but are Scratch and Lillith the same person, Arthur

Oh she's mute? Ok

A what? Otter? Ardour? Arda?

IF SAMANTHA AND ALIA BOTH ARD-WHATEVERS THAT MEANS SHE CAN HEAR YOU, JOHN

YORICK I SWEAR TO G9D

oop-

"In battle" ok 🙄

"No I suppose not" translation "she's gotta take a fucking number"

WHATIS YKD IRNCC ATTH7R ANC LITLIH

Hahaha, abilities you say? Haha go mad you say? Hahahahahahaha no sorry I've never encountered anything like that nope never seen that before haha all good here 😃

Eyes eyes eyes *dancing giddily in circles*

ARHTUHR. ARHUTR WHAT DID I SAYABOUT THE HORSE ARTHUR. GOD DAMN IT

B r u h .

Well really at this point it's more like *five* souls but whatever, I get the gist

BRUH HALRAN UR GONNA KILL HER TOO AND SHE FUCKING KNOWS IT??!?!???? Sdljwdbpjqdpjbdqvpjbwqevpbjeqvbi0sqvb

DOCYOU MEAN JOHN OR YORICK. ALIA. ALIA PLEASE. ALIA WHAT THE FUCK WE NEED TO KNOWALAIALALALAIALAI-

Ok on the one hand heel-face turn to optimism is a little weird maybe but on the other hand he is basically admitting out loud "maybe I was wrong" and that he doesn't have all the information or power or control over the situation so progress I guess, good for him?

Arhutr stop talking so loud godamint

John telling yorick "start talking MORE actually" damn we really are in the endgame 🤣

Yorick. Yorick why. Yorick please for the love of God.

Arhtur I will still never forgive you for how you treated Yellow but here's a second chance so to speak with another eldritch Thing that wants to grow into something Else please for the love of God do not fuck this up

I hear thunderrrrrer!!!!!!! 😃 *jazz hands* Yaaaaaayyyy!!!!!! 😃🎉

Well. Hm. Much to think about. ONTO THE FANSRT BACKLOG MALEVTAG HERICOME

The John's description + the music makin a little nostalgic of those cutscenes in Okami when u first enter a cursed area. Like yeah the vibes are rancid but in a mostly bittersweet sad/pretty way yknow? Am I making any sense

"Old friend"😊 he called him Friend again awww

Yeah. Because he's the kinda person who'll honor a deal 🙄

Arthur Lester? *vineboom* Praying to gods? 🤨 *vineboom*

YORICK HIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!! UR SO FUCKING ANNOYIJG BUT HI POOKIE!!!!!!

Oh yes, because having him beleive it's YOUR BROTHER is. so much better.

"Magics probably more normal/accepted in this timeline" blah blah yes OK but have you considered maybe ur just Cultists Georg

A week????? A whole week of offscreen downtime???? *side-eyeing Ao3 excitedly* hell yeah!

Yes, thank you yorick 😂

Ah yes, just enjoying the view, that I can see, with my own two eyes, don't mind me, just talking to myself and my magic rotting skull and the god in my head. How do you do, fellow normal human?

John why are you talking about his lips

Arthur. Arthur what did you just say. Arthur good for you to try to use your brain BUT THAT DOESNT STOP THINGS FROM TRYING TO CLAW UR GUTS OUT OR USING MAGIC TRAPS LIKE HORIG or something. Arh7te. Arthur. Jesus fucking crhoedt Arthur a RAPIER??!?!!? I know next to nothing about sword fighting but jfc a RAPIER??!?!?!!? doesn't that require. Like. Finesse????? AND A MASTERY OF HAND EYE COORDINATI9N?!?!?!?!?!? ARHUTR WHAT THE FUCK

Everard. Everard what does that mean.

Ah yes. The decapitated rotting skull of my dead brother. That talks. That I keep chained around my waist. For sentimental value. Yes. Godeveryoneinthispodcastissofucking unhinged

oh shit breaks almost up uhhh gotta head back to work but will finish later. Maybe probably. HAT DO YOU MEAN IM ONLY 6 MINUTES IN

[bonecage-buffy]

I'm trying to figure out when was Ian's birthday to know at what month everything happened and I can't find it a n y w h e r e

[namjoonchronicles]

So tonight is a song you could have sex with yoongi to. Can you make a list of the members and songs that you see doing it for the first time with them to?

OF COURSE I CAN OH WOW THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING ME TO DO THIS, THIS IS GONNA BE SO MUCH FUN OMG HYPERVENTILATES

(This is going to be a bit long, because I added some a lot description on how it led to the ‘first time’ and i BLABBER A LOT SORRY)

Seokjin I’m a fan of Sunday mornings. Seokjin looks like he enjoys cooking together, making breakfast with you. Imagine dancing in the kitchen, chopping apples, him lip-syncing the high notes, joining him singing, putting cream on his handsome face while making pancake batter, with Maroon 5′s Sunday Morning playing in the background, because he’s bubbly and first time would be fun fun fun. Seokjin likes making jokes and he will enjoy the joy in your face a lot, and it will be a cute date really. 

Having breakfast with you in his lap, sharing a plate together, and he is going to be direct and ask you if you want him because he has no filter.

Hoseok will begin with something very sensual, something that has a significant beat, and actually the ‘first time’ isn’t even planned. It just sort of, happened(?) So, you had been spending the whole tireless, upbeat day with Hoseok. Roller blading, playing arcade games, going to a cafe to eat cakes, enjoying his glorious, ear-piercing laughter, holding hands, being extremely comfortable with each other. 

There’s also one time he SUDDENLY stops walking to join a street dancer, just because he liked the song. Starting a random samba on the walkway, doing the twirl just because he wants to. All sort of random shit just because of Hoseok’s impulse really. Takes you to his house and had you ruling the speaker with your choice of music. Robin Thicke’s Lost Without You had you two silly dancing dancing and you know the rest. 

Namjoon okay this guy is my husband so bear with me, I’m gonna make this as brief as I can because I can go days, weeks and years with him. He introduced you to this song, /hold hands with me for this, have mercy on my poor soul/ Sabrina Claudio’s Frozen fuck I love this song so much, I sing it my sleep dammit. OK, you seriously just came to borrow one of his damn books, but then he had to turn the speaker on and play this song and put on his best charming DIMPLY smile, and you know you’re supposed to focus on the things he say but all you could think about is HOW delicious those lips would be salivating like this gorgeous ass man is making you thirsty and tuning on this song is not helping shit.

Then he invites you into the hammock he had in his house, by the corner, being extra close, listening to him read a book for you and being cuddly and he smells nice, his forehead is showing, oversized glasses, your legs tangled with each other while you lay on top of him, gazing his face like how can you not goodness gracious and truth be told, that you’d blame him for everything. He had this planned, for sure. HE HAD THIS COMING, GAWDAMMIT.

Jimin my sweet sexy ass needy clingy koala who had been testing my loyalty since 1995 let me tell you about this cutie. It was a casual morning. Doing workouts together, cycling by the park before the sun if fully up because we all know that Jimin is a morning person I’m not, but I can change *clears throat at glaring Namjoon* You guys went back home, sweaty, taking turns to use the shower because you know, innocence. Never crossing the line, because Jimin wants to take things slow unlike someone /looks at Taehyung/. After showering, you walked with wet hair to join him in the living room. 

You let him take your phone to transfer some songs because he liked some of them. He came across a playlist named after him. Jimin, taking the chance of you not being there, pressed to reveal. There’s only one song in it so he puts in on the bluetooth speaker when you walked out drying your hair, totally oblivious, you heard Ed Sheeran’s Kiss Me was playing and you knew what he did, instantly. “Jimin what did you do.” He crinkled his eyes at your question, and started to give you a back hug, rocking you side to side. His little giggles had rendered you weak as he buries his face in your nape. *swoon*

Taehyung A lot of you don’t know this, but Taehyung is my first bias in BTS before Namjoon snatched me because I’m such a sucker for deep voices and charisma. I’ve been using this song everytime I get into the sexy moments in my wiritngs and I always think of Taehyung sexy poses you know those poses he usually do when he’s doing photo shoots? I think Frank Sinatra would definitely be his choice, but Nouvelle Vague’s Fade Out Lines really have that groove, like when the beat begins, I can just see Taehyung and his extra ass, with a half-filled soda bottle, dancing with his hips to tease you.

His lips protruded as he is feeling himself. He will extend his hand at you, dancing his way to you. The living room is dark, and only lit by a tiny yellow stand lamp. The music sets you in the mood, and he starts feel your back against his chest, his breath fanning on your neck, one arm low around your hip, leaving no room for air in between you both as he whispers, “Work it, baby. Do it like that, yes...” he inhales through his teeth, before turning you to face him and giving you lustful kiss. Remember, Taehyung wanted 5 kids, so you better start now.

Jungkook I have to mentally remind myself that this boy is an adult and not 15 like the first time I saw him. Let’s be honest, he had been terrorising my poor noona heart since he turned 20.*cracks fingers* *inhales deeply* *starts typing*I like Jungkook’s spotify, I’m not gonna lie. Jungkook’s Spotify playlist lazy analysis from me, he likes songs with amazing drops like same bunny me too, and it’s good for dance, really, nice to listen to, but to put in the ‘mood’? Not so suitable. 

We all know how Jungkook loves working out right? It was weekend, free time. Instead of running to jog like Jimin’s and his girl, you’re stuck at home holding a stopwatch. “296, 297...298,” Jungkook’s arms began to shake. You sat on his back like it’s the most comfortable seat on earth, cross-legged, counting his push-ups, eyes on the stopwatch, drilling on him, pushing him to the limits, giving motivations, “...Two more baby, let’s go. Let’s do it. Two hundred and ninety-nine,” you counted when his chest hits the floor and, “300!” Jungkook dropped face down on the floor and you got off, jumping on his side while he pants violently. “You did it baby!” You squealed and he rolls to his back so you pepper him with kisses and he giggled in return.

“What do you want for present this time? No movies, because the last time we went, you slept there because you were so tired, you even started snoring.” You lay on your stomach, next to him on the floor. Jungkook was still panting and he crept a smile with his eyes shut, “...I got a pretty good...idea.”

“What.” “Make breakfast with me?” “You mean tomorrow morning?” “Yes, dummy.” “...That’s a pretty modest request really. I’ll see you tomorrow morning then.” Jungkook rolled to his side and rest the back of his head in his hand, “I mean stay over.” And you spent the night talking about stuff, just talking, your worries, your fears, funny things that happened, and to be honest, just general cuddling. Until he wake you up at midnight, with a Maroon 5′s Acoustic Version of Never Gonna Leave This Bed, on all of his bluetooth speakers he had in his room, starts to get closer, pulling you by your waist, nibbles your lips, whispering sweet nothings to your skin as the song proceeds. This song is perfect for Jungkook, he will always feel defeated by the person he loves. ‘You make me so nervous, calm me down...’

Wow Jungkook what have you done to Noona.

Let me know if you want full-length scenarios of my bullshit. Bye.

[pitviperofdoom]

For the assumptions thing, 1) you're older than I am (for reference, I recently turned twenty and still refuse to believe it); 2) you like/love Tolkien's work, most especially his poetry; 3) If you were in the BNHA world, you'd be best buds with Izuku and Shouto and would lowkey be willing to fight a walking mountain for them

1) Yup! I’m 23, but I’ll be 24 in a few months and, much like you, I refuse to believe it. I’m still 19 gawdammit!

2) I do like Tolkien, in fact! Not so much the poetry (I’ve never really clicked with poetry) but the vast mythology and worldbuilding that goes into his writing is something I have a great respect for.

(And I like the movies.)

3) I would definitely be best buds with them. I don’t know about fighting mountains, but I would be like, two inches away from them ready with vehement support and heartfelt words of affirmation at any time of the day.

Also I’m not sure if Shouto would put up with me. I’m a hugger. Idk if that would be a dealbreaker for him or not, in terms of friendship.

[thelioninmybed]

You have the darndest knack for coming up with character I want to draw. gawdammit. gotta draw ur weird wolf child now.

aaaaand you have the darndest knack for bringing my garbage creatures to life, I would be delighted if you did a Khazri! …I realise I’ve not really described my weird wolf child though, quick, have a description masterpost!

Khazri on Khazri:

It had always seemed unfair; whatever else they said about his father, everyone agreed he had been beautiful, but Khazri had inherited an unbecoming mix of both his parents. His mother’s lipless slash of a mouth, her angular jaw - austerely handsome on a woman, incongruous set beneath what must be his father’s wide spaced eyes and delicately snubbed nose. There was no one to blame for his overlarge ears and lustreless tangle of hair but himself. 

Imrael on Khazri:

daaaaaaaaaaaaaamn

Well that wasn’t very helpful. Here’s something more objective:

Khazri is about 5���6″ and slim (though you wouldn’t know either by looking at him - he hunches to look smaller and wears layers of baggy clothes, mostly ‘procured’ from people larger and heavier than he is). He has a heart shaped face and features that are more or less per his own uncharitable description. As you would expect of a weird morlock elf thing, he’s pale with a greyish cast to his skin and eyes that are overlarge and just the slightest bit spooky. They can be mistaken for brown in poor light (…they’re not though). He cuts his own hair short, with a hunting knife, and it looks exactly as crappy as you’d expect. 

Implausibly, given he’s an awful cryptid boy being followed around by timber wolves, there’s something about him that just…does not draw the eye? You won’t even notice him unless he speaks to you, and probably not even then.