#SOOOO HAPPY I AM ALL OF ME MADE IT TO NUMBER 2

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

MY WRAPPED SUMMARY. BTW. IF YOU EVEN CARE

[heartcereql]

happiness is a butterfly

☆ xavier thorpe x f!reader

SYNOPSIS- you were always there for xavier, even when he chose wednesday.

CW- lowercase intended, cursing, xavier’s an asshole, angst, friends to kinda lovers, kinda happy ending reader’s powers include matter creation and materialising objects.

A/N- okay this took me soooo long and idk how to feel about it. THIS KEEPS GLITCHING OMGGGGGG. anyway enjoy loves 😽

much to your displeasure, you were still infatuated with xavier thorpe. and he knew. and you knew he had feelings for you too. but his feelings for wednesday were stronger, so he pushed the firsts ones away, labelling them as ‘dumb nonsense’ or ‘something in the heat of the moment’.

you knew you were being played. but it was everything you had of him at the moment. so you accepted it.

you knew you were being played. but it was everything you had of him at the moment. so you accepted it.

“guess what?” said xavier, entering your dorm. luckily, your roommate was nowhere to be seen.

“guess what?” said xavier, entering your dorm. luckily, your roommate was nowhere to be seen.

“shoot” you simply responded, lifting your eyes from the book you were reading to his flushed face.

“wednesday asked me to go to the rave’n with her” he was smiling proudly.

you sighed. there was her name again. couldn’t escape her.

“i thought we were going together?” you asked, already knowing his lame excuses.

“no, y/n. we were only going together if none of us had a date. but i have one” he answered.

lies. does he want to go to the rave’n with you or does he not?

“i heard one thing and now i’m hearing another” you muttered.

xavier only scoffed, plopping down on your bed next to you and pulled out his homework.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

the clock on your bedside table flashed 2:08 with green neon numbers. you rubbed your eyes.

you were beyond tired, but you had to urgently finish some arithmetics assignment. you thought about leaving the remaining exercises for breakfast, but then you heard a noise coming from your window.

groaning, you stood up, walking towards your window. the knocking continued.

“xavier!” you whisper-yelled at the boy standing in your balcony “it’s 2 am, what on earth are you doing?” you asked, pulling him inside.

“i just- can we talk?” he asked, barely audible.

you led him to the bathroom as to not to wake your roommate.

“what happened? are you okay?” you spoke a bit louder now.

taking a look at your best friend, you noticed his bothered expression, brows furrowed, leaning against a wall. he looked tired.

“it was all a fucking lie. she just, she thinks i’m that fucking monster so she just wanted to have me under her watch, or get information. screw her” he rambled.

“who are you talking about?” you were exhausted, your mind foggy from all the extra hours awake.

“wednesday”

of course.

your eyes darted to the floor. you had nothing against her, hell, you’d barely even spoken to her. but xavier’s feelings for her. they hurt you.

you felt xavier walking towards you.

“ we can go to the rave’n together. god, i shouldn’t have said yes to her in the first place” he softly said.

you’d actually been talking to a guy from your class, cameron, and you had a feeling he was going to ask you to go to the rave’n, but it seemed to lack any importance to you when xavier spoke. you could go with him. you could actually spend the night with him.

he then took your hands. heat rose up to your cheeks. suddenly the bathroom was hot; it felt like summer.

“i’d love that” you smiled, a part of you aching and pitying your own self.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

and so the week before the rave’n came, and, for you, it was full of happiness. the excitement of buying a dress, gossiping around, guessing who anyone’s date is gonna be.

you even had your dress. it looked amazing on you. made you glow.

but it all felt so surreal. the happiness. the joy. you knew happiness is like a butterfly. because, though xavier had been distant to wednesday, you weren’t oblivious to the way he’d look at her. you’d try to catch happiness as often as you could, like you were stretching your arms towards said butterfly, but it escaped from your hands. always.

you knew you were playing a dangerous game. but what’s the worst that can happen to a girl who’s already hurt? you’re already hurt.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

the rave’n. you’d never looked so forward to a dance.

you’d gotten help from enid for your makeup. little rhinestones adorning the corners of your eyes. highlighter made your face shine.

so you were with enid and yoko, finishing your hair, when you three heard a knock on the door. yoko went to open the door, revealing xavier, dressed in a white suit with a black tie, his hair gathered in a small bun. you’d swear he’d never looked so beautiful.

while a bright smile made its way to your face, xavier secretly scanned the room, hoping for wednesday to be there. he knew she wasn’t going tho the rave’n, but she still could’ve been there with y’all. although his actions went unnoticed by you, your friends weren’t as naive.

they had told you he was bad for you, that he was hurting you and you should stay away from him. but you didn’t want to listen. if he was as bad as they said, then you guessed you were cursed.

you waved your friends goodbye and made your way to xavier.

“shall we?” he asked, offering you his arm.

“of course” you responded, taking his arm.

while you were walking, you looked at him. and, fixating your eyes in his, you realised something. he was already hurt as well.

you looked forward and tightened your grip on his arm.

he smiled at your sudden action.

“y/n” he spoke softly, stopping his steps.

you stopped as well and turned to face him.

“yes?”

“you look incredible. you’re shining”

you felt heat rush all over your body. he tugged at you hand, pulling you closer to him.

“thank you, xav, truly” you grinned.

his other hand went to caress you cheek. he pressed a light kiss to your forehead, sending butterflies all over your body.

he put his arm around your shoulder, bringing you closer to him. pressed against each other, you made your way to the rave’n.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

you entered the hall still holding xavier, with ajax and his date close behind. mrs thornhill was waiting at the doors of the venue, which was all decorated in white and icy blue, a bit of mist floating around. there were students dancing, having drinks and hanging around tables.

“xavier, y/n. you both look lovely” mrs thorn hill greeted.

you both smiled and nodded, entering the hall. quickly spotting kent, divina and bianca, the four of you went to join them. yoko reunited with the group shortly after, and, not so later on, by enid and her normie date, some guy named lucas.

you all were gathered around a table, taking a break from dancing and having a few drinks.

“yo, check that out!” ajax exclaimed pointing at the door.

there she was. wednesday. wearing a black, long dress that somehow suited her perfectly. her hair wasn’t in her usual pigtails, but in a braided crown. she was accompanied by some normie kid, wearing a white suit along with a blue shirt.

“wednesday totally busted out of her cocoon” ajax chuckled.

“like a death’s head moth” muttered bianca, looking away from her.

you felt jealousy sting your insides again as you observed how xavier was staring at her. you had hoped, still hoped, that he had gotten over her, that he’d finally chosen you. but it vanished almost completely as you watched his eyes as she walked by.

and when wednesday left the boy, approaching the bar, and xavier rushed towards the bar, you felt your heart being stabbed. over and over.

‘he’s just being nice’ you told yourself, knowing very well it was just another lie.

you swallowed your thoughts and returned to the conversation with bianca and kent.

“yeah, i tried on that one dress but there was just something so- ” you stopped listening to bianca when a hand yanked you away from the table.

“let’s go dance” xavier grumbled, dragging you to the dance floor.

you were taken aback by his harshness. you knew it had something to do with wednesday, and the rational part in you told you to find someone better, not to be his rebound, but then again, this was everything you had of him. besides the guy you liked, he was your friend. and you didn’t want to lose him. so you followed him.

he wrapped his hands around your waist, as you did with his neck. some slow song was playing in the background. your bodies were pressed against each other again.

“everything okay?” you asked.

“hm?” xavier’s eyes had been traveling the room, but they finally settled on you.

you were here, beautiful as ever, always by his side when he needed, and yet he chose to chase after some girl who couldn’t care less about him.

“yeah, yeah, everything’s fine” he responded.

as you swayed your bodies together, you saw wednesday and her date entering the dance floor. lucky for you, it was out of xavier’s sight.

the slow song faded and ‘goo-goo muck’ started playing.

and then the world seemed to stop. wednesday was all anyone could focus on. she was doing an eccentric coreography that was quite  enchanting as well. her date dances akwardly as she danced around.

then, life continued. your friend group was now near you, dancing and enjoying themselves. but xavier’s sight was fixated on  wednesday. fucking blind xavier.

you just wanted to dance with him. and yet he had eyes for her only. of course; how not.

all of a sudden, a drop landed on your shoulder. brushing it off with your finger, you noticed the sudden red on said finger. and so, ‘blood’ started raining.

everyone started panicking and running in different directions.

xavier put his jacket around your shoulders.

“here. you won’t wanna ruin that dress”

you smiled, thanking him. he had taken your hand and was leading you to the nearer exit, when he stopped on his tracks, noticing that wednesday was nowhere to be seen.

“i’ll be right back” he told you.

you watched him walk to wednesday’s date, scoffing at him, and ready to walk away. you chased after him before he had a chance to leave.

“xavier! where are you going?” you yelled, catching him by his forearm.

“uh, i have to go. i’ll tell ajax or someone to-”

“don’t be a jerk, don’t call ajax” you huffed, offended.

was he really going to leave you there to go find her?

“listen, you’ll be fine. i have to go, y/n, i’m sorry” and with that, he run somewhere in the woods.

you felt a tear rolling down your cheek. no. you wouldn’t do this. you wouldn’t cry over a guy like him.

tears blurring your vision, you made your way to a bench.

sitting in his jacket, crying at the back of the party. you just wanted to dance with him. to hold him tight down the halls.

you left the hall, rushing towards your bedroom. you had stopped crying long ago, you weren’t even sad or angry. you felt just empty.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

you had been avoiding xavier after the whole rave’n incident. it’s not like he had tried to approach you or apologized. just a small smile or a “hi” when he’d see you in the quad.

you were one thing and now you were being another. you had to get over him. you wouldn’t let your feelings get in the way.

and you had stick to this. at least until wednesday framed him and he got arrested.

you felt the pain. of being betrayed by someone who you were devoted to. and, hell, you still were his friend. or wanted to be.

so, you found yourself going down to jericho, most specifically, jericho’s police station.

you remembered about the way you thought of happiness as a butterfly. should’ve tried to catch it while dancing, letting yourselves get lost in the music. if you had told him how you felt, maybe it would all be different. or not.

jericho’s station was fairly empty. sheriff and officers were nowhere to be seen, only the reception lady and some employee.

“excuse me, madame? i’m here to visit xavier thorpe” you politely asked, a glint of sadness in your voice. you couldn’t believe he had been imprisoned.

she gave you a somewhat disgusted look as she said “straight forward into the cells pavilion. second to the right”.

you rushed your way to there.

xavier looked tired. beyond tired. he had big eyebags under the beautiful orbs you’d grown to adore, and a chain around his neck.

sadness and pain stung your heart, watching him like this.

you really didn’t believe he was the monster, but, if he’s a serial killer, what’s the worst that can happen to a girl who’s already hurt? you were already hurt.

“hey” you greeted, your voice low.

xavier turned around and gulped.

“y/n” he said. you could sense the shame and regret in his voice. and the heartbreak as well. “listen, i’m so sorry, you didn’t deserve anything i put you through, and i’m sorry i’m realising this now-”

“it’s okay, really” it wasn’t but you were back to the person you used to be.

he was already hurt.

“i don’t think you’re the monster” you stated, watching relieve wash over his features. “no, i know you’re not the monster. and i’m going to do everything it takes to get you out of here”

you walked closer to the cell’s door, as did xavier. he took your hand into his.

“thank you, y/n. i mean it. i know now that it is you. it has always been”

butterflies erupted all over you. a smile, a true one, had taken all over your face.

you took away your hand, clasping it together with your other hand. a familiar blue glow rushing over your veins and surrounding your hands. when you unclasped your hands, a glowy key was to be seen.

xavier’s eyes widened as you gently took the key and opened the door to his cell.

you launched into his arms and held him tight, tears of happiness rolling down his cheeks.

the key you’d created took another shape as you unlocked the chain around his neck.

he broke the hug, hands cupping your jaw.

“may i?” he whispered.

you nodded as he finally leaned down and kiss you. lips tangling together, dancing with each other.

[jgracie]

OMG JUST SAW THAT YOU FINISHED BOO

okok here are my thoughts

ew caleo

jason is such a hopeless romantic like when he was imagining his future with piper and then when he pulled her up to the top of the zeus cabin to recreate their first kiss

leo leo leo

leo some more

LEO 👹

nico and reyna and jason would make the ultimate friend group

”hazel and frank didn’t protest. leo had wished they had” OR WHATEVER THAT LINE IS LIKE POOKIE THATS SO DEPRESSING???

the fight with gaea was way too short but the build up made up for it

that scene when piper was like oh no we’re screwed and then jason comes in with like lightning going through his chest or wtv and he’s like saying something all cool 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

them fighting with their parents was amazing my fav was hephestus and aphrodite

the ending scene is so sad (the book actually ends with piper and jason thinking about leo not caleo 😍🥰)

also there was this scene in the lost hero where leo was like i am so scared of being remembered as like the funny friend and like all of my frineds are cool heroes and i’m just leo the tofu taco chef

yeah uhm

that’s exactly how jason and piper remembered him…

CALEOOOOOO OMFG THE LAST CHAPTER WHEN HE CAME BACK TO HER GAVE ME MAJOR MIXED FEELINGS... i always have mixed feelings when it comes to them cz like leo in love is so cute and sweet and then i remember hes thinking ab calypso 😭 like wowww wdym u aren't thinking of my mutual pinkdiorluvr 😭 i just tune it out atp LMAO

YESSSS I WAS SO HAPPY READING BOTH OF THOSE SCENES BECAUSE IVE BEEN PUSHING THE HOPELESS ROMANTIC JASON AGENDA!!!!!! AND THEY AFFIRMED IT!!!!!!!! i feel like because we didnt see jason pre memory loss we forget this man isnt all stoic and serious ALL of the time like the books say he joined the fifth cohort on purpose to make it better and was lowk a troublemaker or wtv it was in camp jupiter?? i forgot the exact wording but LIKEEEE HE IS MORE THAN SERIOUS AND BLUNT! (hes those 2 as well ofc but ykwim)

I LOVED NICO AND REYNA AND NICO AND JASONS INTERACTIONS SM SO I STAND BY THIS TRIO esp the nico reyna interactions they were so sweet tgt literally made me wanna cry i love them both SO much omg.... nico reyna jason trio def do the mama y papa tiktok trend thing LMAO (jeyna truthers rise)

i read that line n wondered if that affirmed to leo exactly how unloveable he is despite the fact that he chose to ask those two for the reason that its in their blood to put duty above all.... leo u r ur number 1 saboteur ur number 1 hater i pray u heal

ANF ONG I WAS SO CONFUSED AT HOW IT ENDED SO QUICKLY was a little disappointed but i never enjoyed fight scenes anw cz i struggle w visualising them so overall didnt rly mind... im much more of a character development girlie like tell me all their inner thoughts pls

THAT WAS SO HOT OF JASON i llove like the 5 times overall rick let him fight without passing out before the action even starts 🙏🏼 free my man jason grace from the shackles of fainting

I LOVED THAT PART SO MUCH ESP APHRODITE CHEERING PIPER ON IT WAS SOOOO CUTE OMFGGG 😭

oh yes ofc it was rly sad i cant believe leo died fr there def wasnt a leo chapter in my copy at the end where he comes back to life and goes back to ogygia ... it acc just ends w jason and piper thinking ab leo idk what these other versions have as the last chapter

STOP I DID NOT REALISE THIS I WILL BE THINKING AB IT FOR THE REST OF TODAY NOW WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKK

[shitouttabuck]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @thewolvesof1998 thank u bud i’m procrastinating packing and this was fun

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

seven!

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

129,484 which is a fake number to me

3. what fandoms do you write for?

nothing has made me as insane in my life as network television procedural drama 911 on abc, so

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

you can start a family who will always show you love

let the world have its way with you

my hearts over-pumping and your mouth is an ambulance

like a dog with a bird at your door

i like the summer rain (i like the sounds you make)

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

i try very hard to because they make me so happy and it’s unbelievably kind of people to take the time to leave them!!! However i sometimes leave it too long and then worry it’s weird to reply after like. a month. which as a fic reader i wouldn’t give a shit about so idk what my problem is!!!! i will reply i will just maybe take a hot sec to do it

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i don’t have any i’m a happily ever after or bust kinda guy in my own head if nowhere else…… angstiest is probably the sound of love astounds me if only because it ends post-feelings realisation but still pre-relationship

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

they’re all so happy omg. i will say with great personal bias it’s my heart’s over-pumping but also i have. a sequel in the works….

8. do you get hate on fics?

no people have been very very very lovely but also sjjsjsjs i’ve not been here super long. the funniest comment i’ve gotten was on my first fic where someone was like i liked this but it is jarringly inaccurate as mcdonald’s in california doesn’t have a veggie burger option 😭 i cried laughing im so sorry to u americans. pls petition your local mcdonald’s to stock the mcplant it slaps

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

have written two e-rated fics….. it’s very fun but i don’t think i’m very good so i’d like to practice actually (maybe some sexy prompts after i finish the bed-sharing ones?) just the regular kind for now like i love buck and eddie desperately and am myself into a million things but i don’t know how kinky they would actually get in my own head. so just a little gross with it for now i guess

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

nope!

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

no that would be SICK. @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove is podficcing bucket list fic which is so very cool of her!

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

no omg i don’t know how y’all do it i’m bad at group projects but also this sounds soooooo fun. if also deeply stressful

14. what’s your all time favorite ship?

if that’s synonymous with most likely to get you institutionalised, uh. gestures around us. otherwise mulder/scully and i am just now right as i’m typing this realising i’ve never ever in my life actually read x files fic what the fuck. also steve/bucky but i haven’t read fic since 2017 probably

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

listen i have not written a word for x files au past that one snip i shared forever ago. i want to soooo bad i’ve talked about it to some of you very rabidly but. it does not want to be written and if it did it would have to be so fucking long which is very daunting to me. not saying i’ve put her in the ground yet but. we might need some necromancing

16. what are your writing strengths?

i think i’m pretty good at writing in character? mostly? sometimes i struggle with buck just because i think we’re very similar and i project a little and then have to go back and fix it lmao but for the most part i think i’m good at that! and i have a lot of fun writing dialogue

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

plot!!!!!! and pacing!!!!!!!!!!! also my inability to write non-linearly omg if i get stuck i just get Stuck i can’t jump ahead

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

oooh i love it and would love to include more than the teeniest bits i have but i’m so conscious about it sounding natural and not stiff to people whose language it actually is (shout out and a million kisses to @eddiebabygirldiaz for fixing the spanish in i love you like a dog!!!!!)

19. first fandom you wrote for?

911 babey!

20. favorite fic you’ve written?

my heart’s over-pumping and your mouth is an ambulance !!! not just because it was the first fic i posted after joining tumblr fandom but. idk it is so so so special to me like it makes me so happy and when i think about it i’m like. hey u wrote that. good for u my dude. and also maybe i just associate it with meeting a bunch of you whjsjssjsj

tagging @callaplums @eddiebabygirldiaz @housewifebuck @rewritetheending @try-set-me-on-fire @onward--upward @anxieteandbiscuits @devirnis @athenagranted if anyone wants to do this i’m nosy soz if you already have !!!!

[jackredfieldwasmyjacob]

OT 2023 - GALA 1

We're back aaaaaa !!!! Anyways, just as I did with OT 2020, I will be talking about my top 3 favourite performances every week, as well as some honourable mentions. These posts will work a bit different than the OT 2020 ones tho, cause now the show is exclusively streamed in Prime Video, which means they do not upload the full performances to youtube, only 40 second clips. So, what I will do is link those clips in the honorable mentions and in the titles of my top 3, but I will include the full videos for the pases de micros. For the uninitiated, there are two pases de micros during the weeks; these are performances in the academy in front of the teachers that measure how they are doing and what things they should improve and stuff. Normally I will be posting the second one, cause those are usually best.

Update 28/01. I've updated all links to the full performances in the gala.

Anyways, let's start with some honorable mentions <3

Libertad - OT 2020: The first group song! I would say it was a perfect choice, this song really is perfect as a group song, and they sounded pretty good I think (except Suzette who didn't say her lines

Save your tears - Cris and Ruslana: They were good enough I would say! I thought they sounded good, and I really liked the scenography and such. Good performance 👍.

3. EL ENCUENTRO - PAUL & CHIARA

Here is the original song, by Alizzz and Amaia :)

When I tell you I gasped when they gave them this song... El Encuentro is one of those songs that make me go feral, it's incredible and a bop and I've experienced it live (with both Amaia AND Alizzz !!!) and it's soooo good I love the feeling it expresses and the way it expresses it and yeah.... I'm so happy they got to sing it. I would say Chiara and Paul were perfect for it, they sounded so freaking good and I loved the acting (which becomes even better now that we know Paul has a crush on Chiara sjdsjdj). Also Paul !!! he was the favourite of the gala (SO DESERVED) and he's one of my faves so yeah :) loved this :)

2. PARA NO VERTE MÁS - ÁLVARO & NAIARA

Here is the original song, by La Mosca Tse-Tse !

Álvaro and Naiara, my favourite twink and choni duo... They're so iconic... Anyways, they had imo the hardest song to defend (not the most difficult but the most 'nominable' one) and they took a glance at that and said 'no thank you <3'. They were great, ate and left no crumbs, made it so so fun !!! They're the best, also Naiara has such a beautiful voice, possibly my favourite this edition.

1. A TU VERA - SALMA & JUANJO

Here is the original, by the one and only Lola Flores (La Faraona!!!!!!!!)

THIS SONG. OF COURSE THIS WAS GOING TO BE NUMBER ONE. They were the best ones in the gala by far, and they deserved to shine so much, they worked so hard and had such a lovely connection and friendship, they're everything to me <3 Salma and Juanjo are rapidly becoming my favourites and I want to see them in other styles cause they're both folklore singers (Salma with flamenco and Juanjo with jotas) so this song was made for them. Even then, again, this performance was perfect, no notes.

And that was all! Overall, an average gala? I mean, it was the first one, my expectations weren't too high lol. Let's see what next week brings us, with two trios and both an Ana Mena AND a La La Love You song !!!! The nominees are Suzette and Lucas, and I'm not really rooting for any of them in particular, so I have no idea how it'll be go. Nevertheless, I am back hooked to OT, it was so quick lmao.

[chronicowboy]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by my love @shitouttabuck thank you soooo much i'm so bored catching up on lectures

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

66 for buddie but 79 overall

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

609,231 HA WHAT

3. what fandoms do you write for?

used to write for tfatws and aos but now it's 911 or nothin

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

let's build this house (into a home, baby) did not know this was my top so glad it is tho my absolute baby beloved

please? (can't say no) okay fair i do love this one surprised it's number 2 tho

memory (all alone in the moonlight) okayyyyy

not all of us are heroes (not all of us are brave) my titles are so shit i had to check to remember which one this was but yeah kinda slay

accidents happen (but i will love you on purpose) so glad this stupid silly turned heavy romantic little fic made it into top 5

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

on my bigger fics i always always do my best to reply to every comment just because of how much effort i poured into it and i want my wonderful beautiful commenters to know how grateful i am for the comments, i try to on my smaller fics but the reality of the matter is my brain is unimaginative when it comes to thank yous and i'm terrible at keeping up with shit like that but just know i read all of them and appreciate them sooooo goddamn much !!!!!!!!!!

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i am probably incapable of angsty endings even when i write incredibly angsty fics so uh it'd probably some of my cross-posted little lightning era ficlets like i couldn't say no which is very chris-centred

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

literally like 99% of them are sappily happy because i'm disgusting and fragile when it comes to these men but it'd probably be the gross, gooey ending of the safe haven baby fic

8. do you get hate on fics?

no?????? idk if i'm just very lucky or have blocked it out but i don't think so

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

i do but like. in the loosest possible sense. i try to keep it as vague and non-explicit as possible unless it's crucial to the story bc i am pretty sure i'm a little lesbian and dicks freak me out!!!

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i mean. i guess technically the parks and rec au could be considered a crossover of some sorts what with lil sebastian but apart from that.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

don't think so?

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

not that i know of but i have had a podfic made which is awesome!!!

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

no god i feel like that would stress me out way too much. like i'd love to write with some of you beautiful minds on here but i am very poor at deadlines and group projects either make me incredibly stressy and lazy or control freaky and i wouldn't want to inflict that upon anyone

14. what’s your all time favorite ship?

fuck. i mean. that's just. i feel like with 66 works and like 300k words you'd expect it to be buddie and i love them deeply but at the heart of me i am a merthur girlie through and through. they were the og. they were my whole world. they still are. nothing like two tragic little gay men so devoted to each other that it makes them severely fucked up!!!!!

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

oh my god. fuck. huh. there are like five aus that i am so desperate to write and have kinda-sorta planned but to call them wips would be very generous. there's the queer bar au which i WILL write one day, then the game night au, the nice guys au oh my god i love her deeply, the new girl au of course bc nickeddie has me in a chokehold despite not writing a word of him and then the merthurbuddie au i actually will never write bc i know it'd be 300k words long and take up the entirety of my life for like a solid year.

16. what are your writing strengths?

uh dialogue? i've always been told my writing's very cinematic and i'm experimenting more with scripts (play mostly but a little bit of tv and film) in my creative writing course.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

oh god. description. i feel like there's never enough between my dialogue idk. and my description is always so like. functional. i got scared of purple prose in high school and overcorrected somewhere along the way lollllll

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i love it, i try to avoid it because i always overestimate what i'll be able to remember from 5 years of spanish courses and then end up thoroughly humbling myself, would love to do it more but yeah apparently my brain just doesn't cooperate with other languages which suckssss

19. first fandom you wrote for?

okay well. it was marvel. and it was sambucky i think. either that or some irondad on this blog. but we're going to ignore that!!!!!! it was a dark time!

20. favorite fic you’ve written?

oooh boy oh man. um. want to say no rizz kink fic bc i had so much fun writing it but i know it's one of my aus. i just can't decide between neighbours, parks and rec, national treasure or gilmore girls. whoops

tagging: uh feel like i'm very late to the party so ignore if you've already been tagged lol @butchdiaz @eddiebabygirldiaz @folk-fae @piningeddiediaz if u guys want <3

[bellysoupset]

AAAAAHHHHH SCREAMING BLUSHING CRYING SCREAMING SOME MORE‼️‼️ SOUP THE LAST TWO FICS HAVE ME DEAD LIKE OMFG WOW THANKS FOR BLESSING US WITH THESE IM GONNA EXPLODE 😭😭😭

okay so starting w the last one, ngl when i read 🧷anon’s request for bad caretaking from jon i was like NOOO bc i really just don’t like bad caretaking at all cause it just gives me second hand embarrassment lmaoooo idk why

BUT GOSH THE WAY YOU MIXED BOTH ASKS TO CREATE THIS MASTERPIECE WAS BEAUTIFUL‼️‼️ (SLAY 🧷 anon’s request‼️‼️‼️) like omfg the GUILT was SO INSANELY GOOD‼️‼️‼️ and the bitchiness at first was SO necessary and it just made all the guilt afterwards THAT much more angsty and raw and AHHHH it was just so perfect😭🫶🏽 baby girl begging at the beginning and the DETAIL OF JON BARELY EVEN LOOKING AT HER so he really just couldn’t have known/suspected she wasn’t feeling well😩 and omg the clear heartbreaking mix of “i don’t want you” + feeling so shitty but also safe w him that she completely trusts jon to take good care of her even if she’s a lil pissed at him 😭😭😭 and vin all worried at the end and then vin hugging him and jon feeling guilty about that too aghhhhh I LOVE ANGST SO MUCH SOUP THIS WAS PERFECT♥️ (i’m only a lil tiny tiny tiiiiiny bit sad this wasn’t longer bc i really wanted to see vin worried and taking care of her 🥹 (angsty part 2 w migraine getting worse maybe?👀👀👀 no pressure at all tho lmao i know we’ve had 2 wen focused fics in a row and i don’t wanna abuse my luck here teehee🫡) but fr tho this was so amazing and THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WRITING THIS IT GENUINELY MADE MY DAY AND IM SO THANKFUL FOR YOU WRITING ALL THESE REQUESTS YOU’RE THE BEST AND I *KNOW* YOU’RE GONNA GET FAR W YOUR WRITING bc you’re such a talented author and always able to depict the little things and make all your characters’ personalities shine through in the most beautiful (smol and big) ways and gosh you know i already love your writing but every single time you post i’m just always bamboozled by how CRAZY good your writing is AHHHHH)

omg and then the NSFW fic????????? GODDAMN?!?!?!?? i didn’t comment on it sooner bc i was legitimately speechless 🤭 that fic scratched the deepest itch in my brain in the most satisfying way possible🤓 and goshhh my girl was LIVING THE DREAM and i was vicariously living it through her omfg 🤭🤭 the “don’t even pretend to care” and the descriptions of her being so turned on was 🥵🥵 and vin being so chill and nonchalant about everything??? the kiss at the end???? holy mother this was SO FUCKING GOOD TOO and i have no words other than i will be rereading this one an abnormal number of times thank you very much 🤭🫡🫶🏽

🦦

🦦 I swear to god I thought I had answered this one, I DONT WANNA ANSWER IT. I wanna keep it in my inbox so I can look at and cry.

LMAO I got so scared when you said you didn't like Bad Caretaker, because I mixed without asking either parties, so what a huge relief to know I didn't fuck it up.

I am soooo happy you liked it!!!! And all the details you picked up!! 🤩🤩🤩🤩 I agree it deserves a part 2, but I'm actually moving on to a Jonah (+ caretaker Luke) piece that kinda hinges on this not being solved. So don't worry, I'll bring it up again and also have more Vin and Wendy fluff (LOADS), but not in a part 2 manner

The smut got such an amazing turn out, I'm kicking my feet and squealing. Deepest itch uh? 🙈🙈 Guess the Wendy in you is showing, 🦦! Please DO read it an abnormal amount of times, just know I'll be giddy asf every time you do

[thesmithsbackyard]

TOP TEN: i m p o s s i b l e

Really though I’ve been sitting here marveling at the fact that, this show has been on since 2005, it has either 17 or 20 full seasons with two more on the way, (the episode counts are weird) I can pop in Season 2 or Season 16 still have a grand old time. They just do...whatever the hell they want, and it works!

I wracked my brain for several months, I made some painful cuts, here’s my top ten lol. In no particular order. Just barely managed to figure out what my fave ep of all time is

Spoilers!! Kind of. I don’t want to spoil these in case people wanna watch them. But who am I kidding; I’m screaming into a void over here. ANYWHO:

The Life and Times of Stan Smith 12-15

Okay. So one set up in this show is, Stan is against something. Turns out he can’t avoid that thing or it’s a Good Thing Actually. He gets waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too far into it. Shenanigans!! It’s great, I love it. My favorite example is this episode. He gets addicted to dying. Like...like actually dying.

Meanwhile, Steve goes to Arizona State University and does not have a good time

Daddy Queerest 4-19

This episode just warms my heart. Greg and Terry are a gay couple that live across the street. Terry’s dad is visiting for the weekend and doesn’t know Terry’s gay. Dramaaaa!! Oh my god, the ending of this one is so cute and good.

Meanwhile, Roger buys beer for Steve and his friends at a party. For $12 profit.

I feel like i should acknowledge something. *sigh* So yeah. Greg and Terry *are* that stereotypical gay couple where almost every joke with them is that They're Gay. But i dunno, I never got the sense of any malice behind it. They're never put down by other characters for it and there's never any theme or joke that it's bad to be gay and over the top like them?

I understand why it is annoying to only see that portrayal and that the joke being HAHA GAY is bad though so...Your Mileage May Vary

Hayley Smith, Seal Team 6 11-3

Eps like this one make me so happy this show got a second chance on another channel. Hayley ends up mentally regressing to age six. Jeff and Klaus try to get her back to normal. I love all the little bits they do that show how her relationship with her parents was like.

Meanwhile, a weird stranger convinces Steve and his friends to use a slow cooker while making pork. He’s not even a real pervert!

There’s this adorable part when she does patty-cake with Roger which shows they used to like each other too.

EXCEEEEEEPT!! [extra nerdy glasses on] In season 2, Roger sings a song about how he used to be close friends to Steve. And in that, when they first met, Roger is shown to be given to Steve as a birthday present.

While Hayley and Francine freak out, and the design they use for Hayley is her mid-puberty design in a later ep

THEREFORE they did not meet when she was six. Episode recalled

[i’m kidding it’s delightful and I’m just a freak about this show go watch it lol. it might not even be exactly how they were, just showing how they would be if they met back then]

Lost in Space 8-18

Jeff is trapped on the ship of Roger’s people. Pretty much every episode about Jeff going to, being in, or result of space is really good. I could shove them all into this...part of this non-numbered list

It's adorable! Like almost painfully so. Whenever I hear people say this show is too mean or gross I can think of several episodes where they're not lol

Haylias 3-5

This one was my top fave for the longest time. Hell it still might be. Turns out Hayley was trained to be a CIA sleeper agent. Stan re-activates her so she’ll be independent in the way he prefers...kind of. He actually feels a little guilty about it.

Meanwhile, this is also the ep when, the myths, the LEGENDS, Wheels and the Legman are born!! Fantastic [Steve and Roger pretend to be detectives and half the joke is they're making it up as they go along. it's one of my favorite plot threads ever in this show]

Flirting With Disaster 6-18

Soooo...Stan and Francine. I love them so much. They're insane. Ohhhh my god. In this one, it’s revealed that Stan flirts with other people at work. Nothing that leads to an affair or anything. Francine ends up working there and everything’s fine until something happens that renders her horrifically scarred. Now they gotta learn how to flirt with each other again.

It starts with an...homage? Parody? Of “The Office”, but with who Stan works with at the CIA. They keep with that parody in how the scenes are shot and the general humor, until the first commercial break. They also explain that in-universe in a funny way that isn’t too meta. (Oh man, I could go ON about how this show does meta humor) The humor they do isn’t too far off from how the show generally is, so when it goes back to how the show is normally shot it’s not too jarring.

Meanwhile, Steve builds birdhouses as a hobby and Roger starts a business with that. There’s this one part with birds that leaves me in shock and awe every time like jesus christ it’s just soo...the efforts they go to just for A Bit in this show. I need to make a separate post about that I just sfhdjsjfhsdklghdslkgds

Yule. Tide. Repeat. 15-22

The Christmas eps of this show. SHIT GETS WILD. Almost every one that’s come out has been in my top fave episodes. Stan wants to have a normal, “Norman Rockwell Christmas,” because every one they’ve ever had has been very bad and very weird. His words, not mine. Something goes terribly wrong, and Stan ends up caught in a time loop where he has to pick the right path to find his family.

There’s a part with gore, and honestly gore jokes are one of my least favorite parts of this show. BUT. It’s used effectively in this story. (and I will acknowledge that even though I don’t like gore jokes. at least when they happen on this show it’s actually a joke or part of the plot sooo whatever)

The Two Hundred 11-10

It’s the apocalypse for some reason. Stan wanders the earth with tattoos feeling real bad about how he treated his family. Greg is there too. He’s fun, I like Greg

West to Mexico 12-22

So every once in a while there will be an “au” episode, where the characters aren’t related to each other but still do a Thing. (I mean every once in a while; there’s only been like two or three over 300 eps and I’m not sure if one is even ‘canon’)

In this one, Stan’s an outlaw in the United States after the civil war. Wild west stuff happens. I think it's based on a movie. But when this show does movies they don’t just do a movie scene but it’s the characters and they’re meta about it, they’ll just do a scene or something similar to it. Like no one turns to the camera and says “heeey this is just like Djanjo Unchained!” or whatever it was. It’s based on something but it’s still done in the style and humor of the show, which is neat.

One Little Word 4-3

Oh god. THIS ONE. You know what, I’ve finally decided. This one is my favorite. This ep is like a culmination of everything I love about this show. The cringe AND the good shit. This was an ep that when it came on I’d feel like YEESSS IT’S THIS ONE. You know that feeling?? Like you know you’re gonna have an excellent time for the next half hour. I just...there’s so many little details and bits that are expanded upon later and little cute character moments and everything just builds to this hilarious payoff and AAAAAAH

There’s a couple jokes that are kinda...well not the worst thing ever but I can see why today people might be like...mmmm No. But mostly I just. Oh god. I just love I was able to fall in love with this one all over again. Christ I haven’t even said what it’s about yet.

So Stan wants to be Bullock’s number one at work. (there’s already Layers here) He goes so far to bring back his wife from being captured overseas. Meanwhile Francine wants to celebrate with Stan up alone at a lake. Unfortunately Bullock’s family ends up staying at Stan’s house…

(Lake Fraiser. I havent seen much of that show but recently I’ve been wondering if this episode is a parody of either an episode of it or just its style of writing in general?? I’ve wanted to watch Fraiser but never got around to it. The syndicated channel I watched reran this show, Two and a Half Men, and Friends instead. Baaarrff lmao)

Oh dear god I've done it. Kind of. See I’m looking at this list and there’s STILL sooooooo many I love where I’m like “what about this ep. And this one. And this one. Technically there’s infinite numbers between one and ten” There’s at least on ep per season in that top five list I did where I KNEW I’d be like “why isn’t This one on the list goddammit”

[smol-grey-tea]

I've been listening to a lot of the Nameless soundtracks recently and all of the music is so pretty and beautiful, but listening to it all made it more apparent how sad of a game it is. Don't get me wrong, I love the game so very much, but the most apparent emotion it makes you feel, in my opinion, isn't happiness, but sadness. The music definitely emphasises this, soooo I wanted to rank the top 5 songs in the soundtrack on how sad or just generally pretty or sad they are! :3

At number 5, and yes I am definitely biased, is honestly Red's piano theme. The usual guitar tune is such a good depiction of his character that feels very upbeat and happy, but that slower piano rendition makes it that much more emotional and heartfelt and is perfect for the scenes it's used in.

For number 4, I chose Café Banjul's theme. It brings a really calm atmosphere to the place, especially with the harp and piano. The light tinkling sounds remind me of the sound of a teaspoon stirring in a little teacup. It kind of sounds sad tho for a reason I can't quite place. Maybe the majority of the sadness I feel from the game might just come from the fact I first played it 6 years ago so it reminds me of the past? But this song specifically, it reminds me kind of of a homesickness for cute little cafés like that one that I went to when I was young but will probably never go again

For number 3, I chose the theme for the game itself, If I Could, sung by I think Tei and Red's voice actors?? Tho I swear for the life of me I cannot hear Red's voice in this at all altho I can definitely hear it in his character ending song. But this song's lyrics itself are emotional and very relevant to the game's story as well. I think having Tei sing it is a good idea for it, and it's the sort of song that makes me wish I could speak Korean cuz it just makes me want to belt it at the top of my lungs, like all the other Cheritz games' themes. Also idk if this is totally correct, but I swear I can hear a leitmotif of Red's guitar theme in there?? Fr, just makes it sadder

In 2nd place is Secret, the theme that plays in the start menu. This theme isn't just sad itself, but I think it's even sadder that it's the 1st thing you hear immediately after an ending so as soon as you hear it you're already feeling sadness from the bittersweetness and/or fuckery that you've just experienced. I honestly hate endings so much, I think it's the saddest thing in the world, I'd give anything for things never to end, so this song has a lot of emotions in it for me.

My number 1 saddest Nameless song definitely has to be What's Your Name?, which plays at the end of the 2nd secret ending. It's such a good song to end such a good game. A really big part of Nameless is the nostalgia of it that's so deeply interwoven into the game's story. The 2 saddest things in the world are unquestionably endings and empathy for inanimate objects. You have no idea how many emotions inanimate objects give me. Nameless does such a good job of humanising these tiny little lifeless inhuman things and making them so, so emotional. The story of Nameless, the character, is something that can make anyone teary-eyed, calling back to their childhood and their memories of toys and dolls they've left behind. The music video as well that goes with this song, highlighting all the concept art for the characters, also brings out the nostalgia and sadness of it all too.

I'm listening to this song rn as I write this so I will have to finish this post quickly before I cry or something 😂 but really, I think What's Your Name does such a good job of finishing off a really perfect game. And then as soon as this song's over when you finish the game, you hear Secret again as you're brought back to the start menu. This game has no right to go this hard.

I really really don't exaggerate when I say this is the best game I've ever played and might ever play. It's at least definitely the best Cheritz game. First of all, the format of the game is easy to play and quickly get the hang of, the story is engaging, hilarious and sad in such a perfect way. The characters are so intriguing, each of them feeling so real and beautiful, the main character being so relatable and the 5 romanceable boys having such rich stories. The music is ethereal and the art is gorgeous.

I really cannot recommend this game enough, I will love it for ever and ever. I am so glad that this game exists in my life.

[igot7bbs]

My Happy Ending?? P.2

Word Count: 1184

Y/N POV

We were on our way back to the ABnB when Mark looked at me and smirked.

Mark: Alright girl I see you, I see you. You ain't fooling nobody.

Y/N: I don't know what you are talking about." I crossed my arms and looked away.

Mark: Come on Bubs I saw those googly eyes plus I know you better than anyone.

Y/N: Ugh fine. Yes I thought he was cute. There are you happy?

Mark: Now was that so hard to admit.

Y/N: Yes, it was actually.

I knew he could tell I was still hurting from the past. I could feel him stare, he just sighed.

Y/N: What?

Mark: You really need to move on.

Y/N: I have!!

Mark: Then act like it. You're clearly not over the past Bubs.

Y/N: I am ok? I'm just not as expressive as you.

Mark: Come on Y/N like I said, I know you. Why are you trying to put up a barrier? If you like him just let it be and let things happen. The past has already happened and you can't change it. So just let loose while you're here and have some fun, yeah?

The ride back to the ABnB was quiet. I just looked out the window and processed what Mark had said. Ugh why was this so frustrating? Everything goes well until I go overboard with my thoughts. Mark was right, why am I being such a grump about things? Letting loose wouldn't hurt anyone, right?..

** 1 Year Earlier**

After spraying some perfume on my wrist I turned and looked at my self in the mirror. Wow, How did I always manage to blow myself away? Girl I looked amazing! I was wearing a cute black dress. Nothing too formal but also not too casual. It was just right.  After grabbing my coat and heading to the living room I received a text from Christian.

Cutie💕: I'm here

We pulled up to a fast food joint. I didn't mind but It was our 2 year anniversary. Was it wrong of me to expect something a little fancier? He got out of the car and just walked in. Ummmmm the door wasn't going to open itself!! What was up with him today? He barely even spoke in the car. Nothing, not even a compliment. I made my way into the restaurant and sat down. After ordering he came over and sat across from me.

Y/N: Are you feeling ok?

Christian: Yeah I'm fine..

Y/N: Soooo do you remember what day it is today?" I tried to lighten the mood. I thought this simple question would maybe cheer him up?

Christian: Sunday?

Y/N: It's our anniversary Christian.

Christian: I thought we were passed the remembering anniversaries stage. Is that why you got all dressed up?

I just stayed quiet and of course, I was disappointed. He had been acting distant lately but I didn't think much of it. Maybe work was stressing him out. Or he just had some personal things to figure out? I didn't want to think much of it since we've been together for a while now but, was it wrong of me to want an explanation? Our number was called and Christian got up to get the food and drinks leaving his cell phone behind.

There was no way this could be happening? Are you kidding?? ON OUR 2 YEAR ANNIVERSARY?? In a matter of minutes my world came tumbling down as they say. Christians phone kept going off and I couldn't help but check. Why did I have to check?? WHY?

Emily:

I miss you

Are you coming over tonight? You left your coat. Was that on purpose?

I'll be waiting tonight ❤️

My heart sunk. I've seen it happen in the movies but why was it happening to me? I should've seen the obvious signs! I quickly put his phone back as he turned from the soda machine and started walking back.

Y/N: Are you cheating on me?.." My voice was clear but you could hear the pain in every word.

Christian: What are you talking about?

Y/N: Who's Emily??

He just stayed quiet and he looked down at his meal. Probably embarrassed that I had found out.

Y/N: WHO'S EMILY!

Christian: Lower your voice!

Y/N: NO TELL ME WHO SHE IS??!!" The sadness that was heard from my voice had soon turned into anger. My eyes were fixed on his while tears threatened to flow.

Christian: YES I'm cheating on you OK!! Get over it Y/N, it was bound to happen.

I didn't know what to say. I felt helpless and stupid! I stood up grabbed my drink, chucked it at him, and walked off. Christian just stood there with smirk on his face wiping off the spilled drink.

Christian: LIKE I SAID BEFORE, GET OVER IT!!

I couldn't even cry. Anger just over came me. What was I supposed to do? I tried reaching Mark several times but he wouldn't answer or respond to any of my texts. Thank God I was wearing sneakers!! My feet would've blistered so bad if I would've gone with the heels I was thinking of going for. For some reason part of me wanted Christian to fight for me. To come driving next to me in his car and persuade me to take him back like in a scene from Legally Blonde! The other half of me wanted to key his car and slash his tires MAYBE EVEN BURN IT!! But in reality my heart just wanted him to fight for me! Where was all the love he said he had for me? Was there something wrong with me?...

*Actual time*

Mark: Alright Bubs I think that's enough crying for today. Why don't you tell me how you feel instead of keeping it all bottled up?

Once in the ABnB Mark came in to make sure I'd be fine. We sat on the couch and then the pain from the last year came up to the surface. Mark was holding me while rubbing my back trying to calm me down.

Y/N: Why? There's no point Mark" My face was buried in his lap. I was defiantly being a lot more dramatic than I should've but I felt lighter as I cried.

Mark: Maybe you'll feel better if you talk about it.

I decided he was right, like always. He never knew the full scoop because he was always so busy I didn't want to bother. He knew Christian had cheated but not the entire story. I just didn't want to open up.

Mark: Look I just want you to heal and move on. You know I'm here for you." He had such a sweet smile. I couldn't let him down again by not opening up. He's always been so patient with me. I owed it to him.

We ended up talking all night. Mark was following each and every word I said. These moments were the best, until I fell asleep! I woke up the next morning and he was gone. Ugh I had a huge headache from all the crying. The first thing I did was look for my phone. I had a message from an unknown number?....

Marks messages with Jackson

[mayspicer]

I'm bitter and sad and salty about my art and social media capabilities. Depressed vague posting ahead.

First, I don't really mean anyone I know better than a recurring name on the internet or something. I'm vagueposting about the general public and I really appreciate the engagement I do get. I also understand that random spam and sketches are not really reblog worthy, I wouldn't reblog most doodles either.

Anyway, nothing better than having over 330 followers on my art blog, posting stuff that I'm proud of/excited about and getting the same amount of notes that random sketches get (less than 10 and that includes multiple self reblogs). Super nice posting on art servers and getting like 3 reactions while all art before and after my post (and similar in skill level) gets numerous reacts. Super great when artists vocal about the importance of reblogging leave a like if I'm lucky.

I love all of this, especially in times like these, where I'm without a job for a year now, applying for art and animation positions and getting rejected over and over again. Despite working in animation before, just for some shitty games. It's great hearing my whole life that I should pursue art because I'm soooo talented. Fucking sure, I actually believed that for a moment. That I could have a career in art because I'm pretty good at it. Apparently I'm delusional and wasted everything.

I create mostly for myself, my enjoyment, my characters. But I need people to see what I do, to say SOMETHING. I'm desperately grasping any straws I get. I spam our pathfinder discord because I can't live without showing people what I make. But showing to the void isn't enough. A heart emoji under a post means only that they like that their friend is drawing (especially something that they take part in. I would be happy if I saw a stickman drawing of anyone's character from our games). But when it comes to offering any help which would require actually vouching for my skill, there is noone. When I put hours, days into art, featuring even someone's characters, I have to ask for opinion to hear ANYTHING.

I hate that networking means everything and nothing I can do, none of my skills matter when it comes to getting a job, when it comes to stupid numbers on my posts. I barely can keep up with my closest people, and even these I regularly lose because of stunted social battery. Art contests during my animation studies were actually popularity contests. Life is a popularity contest and none of the other qualities mean anything if you don't know how to be social because you are neurologically different. I grew up believing that what I do matters, who I am matters. That being myself and doing what I love can speak for me. Turns out I'm just alone.

I don't know what's wrong with me. My art made in middle school was insanely more popular. My early art that I posted on Tumblr did better. My friends are saying the nicest things about memes I redraw in 2 minutes.

Am I actually stupid trying that hard to get a job in my fields? I don't know how to do anything else... I'll be 30 years old in October. I know people (close-ish, we regularly talk) who are my age or younger who are heads of like character design departments. Of course I tried asking them for any help. After getting a reply of "you just have to do it, I learned everything myself and my friend hired me, just do it lol" I got kinda discouraged and feel like trash for bothering people for anything. The only artistic artistic person I know personally right now is much below my level (don't wanna sound judgy and like I'm who knows how skilled), repeatedly asks me for help with animation and art and portfolio assembly and I help and I see how their stuff looks. But all that matters is their ability to sell themselves, an image of themselves. They called themselves an animator when they were unable to animate a simple walk cycle properly. And it worked. They just talked themselves into getting hired as a... 3D generalist? And now they are the main character artist/designer and animator in that studio. And I asked them for help. Got a dismissive non-answer.

I don't know what to do anymore, but clearly I'm not fit to live in the world that works like this.

[casspurrjoybell-33]

Wreckless - Best and Worst - Part 2

*Warning Adult Content*

Emmett

Finn is back and I open the door as soon as he knocks and he comes in smiling.

"Hey darling."

"Hi Emmett, mind if I change?"

Out of a monkey suit?

"Never."

"Are we going anywhere, do I need clothes?"

"Do you want to?"

He might not want to sit around my house all afternoon.

I'm going out later so I'm more than happy to be lazy for a few but I'll suck it up if he wants to go out.

"Not really, honestly."

He strips and then walks over.

"Rule number two, isn't it? You get to manhandle me a little bit now."

He kisses me then and I love that he initiates it and I am more than happy to wrap him up a little and let my hands roam.

I like my rules.

A lot.

I'm not a huge fan of rules in general but these two have my full support.

I'm glad he doesn't have a problem with them either.

"Was it a nice service?"

"It was," he mumbles into my neck as he leans against me.

"Glad you didn't mind me coming back, thanks."

"You're welcome anytime, darling, anytime."

The dryer buzzer goes off and I have to let him go.

"I'll be back in a minute, make yourself at home."

When I come back upstairs he's in the kitchen munching on apple.

"I needed a snack, hope that's okay."

"That's what it's there for. There's watermelon and some strawberries in the fridge, too."

He's eyeing up the blueberry muffins that are on the counter.

"Those are for your rushing to work mornings, save a couple."

"You're sweet but I told you, Emmett, you fill me up plenty."

That boy.

"Finn, do NOT start anything."

"I'm not, I'm just saying. I'll take one tomorrow, they're gonna ask if I've eaten breakfast for the blood draw and I don't think I should tell them about my morning endorphin shake."

Morning shake. I internally groan.

"No, please don't. I have to take these upstairs."

"I'll come. Hey, I was thinking that if I wash the stuff I have here I could just leave it?"

I like the sound of that and it'll be easier on him.

"Sounds good, just toss it in my hamper and I'll wash it for you."

"I can do it Emmett."

Apparently just a look stopped him, interesting.

"Put it in the hamper."

"Okay. Thank you."

He goes through his bag while I fold and put my stuff away and I make a drawer for him in my dresser.

He objects to that too but he doesn't need to live out of a bag.

He finally agrees when I tell him that I'll need somewhere to put his washed things.

"Can we talk about last night yet?"

I don't want to have to cut it short to head to Dad's.

"Sure."

He sits cross-legged on my bed and grabs a pillow to put in his lap.

"I'm fine though, are you fine? Or are you not and that's why you're asking?"

He's worried and it's cute but that doesn't mean I'm not going to put a stop to it.

"I had a blast, darling. I'm not sure where I came up with that stuff, I do NOT usually talk like that but I guess reading erotica helps. But you're the one I'm worried about."

"I'm fine. Sore, I'll admit that I'm a little bit sore but other than sitting very gently on the pew at church and wondering if I was the only one there with a sore ass, it is soooo okay because it's worth it. Really."

Good. Okay.

"So, favorite part?"

"Oooh, fun game but you have to answer too, okay?"

I nod and he continues.

"It was my fantasy, I loved all of it but hmmm, let me think. Oooh, when you said you were gonna hurt me, damn, all the master talk, honestly. I mean, crap I'm getting hard again and my balls already ache. Threatening to do it again, that's my favorite part. Can we? Sometimes?"

Was that an 's' on sometime?

"Your turn."

"We can do it again sometime if you want but it'll be your decision, you just let me know if and when, okay?"

I get a big smile and an enthusiastic nod.

"I guess the sounds you made, your whimpering sort of made me crazy. Okay, really made me crazy. All of it, I just got so wrapped up in the whole thing, Finnegan. Scared me a little that I was so into it but I knew you were loving it even with all that begging me to stop. It was hot as hell, really. And I loved playing with you beforehand, a lot."

"I liked that too. My imagination was going wild and I loved being at your mercy like that. I have to admit that I sort of liked not having to do anything, either. Like I didn't have to worry about pleasing you, is that awful?"

He needs reassurance but I know exactly what he means.

"I understand, we did have the whole 'topping is hard' talk, remember?"

"Exactly. Yes, like that but even more. I don't have everything figured out yet but I do know that when I'm in headspace I don't like to think too hard about anything, I just want to relax and if you want to touch me I'm happy to let you as long as I can just not really worry about it. It's nice. It's really, really fucking nice."

"Good. Okay, harder question. Least favorite?"

It's important but that doesn't mean it's easy to ask him that.

"It being over?" he teases.

"No, I'll try, let me think. But honestly Emmett... I liked all of it. Whatever I manage to think of is still going to be good. Um, hold on."

I'm more than happy to wait.

I'm glad he's giving it some thought.

"Am I allowed to say the nerves? I was worried I would go too far and that you weren't enjoying it as much as I was. I was worried I'd freak you out or that you'd stop. Is that a fair answer? I would tell you if anything made me uncomfortable but really Emmett, I promise, it was amazing. Maybe the spankings if I have to choose a real thing. I mean, in the scene they were great but damn, they sting. Now you."

No spanking outside of rough scenes, got it.

"That's fair and it's my answer too. I mean, I was in charge and saying all that shit and I was scared I'd actually scare you or push you too far. I didn't really want to hurt you and I still did, I'm sure."

"Not much, really. Yes, the end was really intense, my ass got a thorough fucking, but I liked it. It fit, you know? Um, maybe too much info but we need to figure out a way to get me really well prepped without so much work, maybe, you know what I mean?"

God he's cute when he blushes.

"We could just plug you for awhile first."

He's even redder now, it's adorable.

"True story, I've never used toys. I wouldn't even know what to try, or use but whatever you think."

"I'll put some of that huge wad of cash you left me into a few toys for you then, darling. Not even a vibrator? Anything?"

I'm going to get him a plug set, that's for sure.

Work him up slowly while he's watching a movie or something.

Damn, now I'm getting stiff.

"I'm not a prude I guess I just never really needed them or, I don't know. But no, nothing, so surprise me."

"Okay, I will." 

I don't love shopping but this will be a lot of fun. 

Hopefully I can get stuff here before next weekend. 

The sooner the better.

[rambleswhatsthepoint]

10/31/23

Happy Halloween! I dug through the Rubbermaid bin full of Halloween costumes this morning. I put Nugget in a few of Cocoa’s old costumes and he totally just let me, like the super sweet boy that he is. Most were too big on him cause he’s quite smaller in size than Cocoa was. But now I know he can be my costume buddy for going fwd. The holiday just wasn’t the same for me since Cocoa passed. Nugget brought a little bit of joy back.

I actually bought candy this year and only one family rang the bell lol. Oh well! It was cold and there was freakish snow, so I don’t blame the kids for not being out. I also don’t have any decorations out lol. That never stopped them from ringing the bell before though so I dunno.

I still have random bouts of crying over my lost baby girl Stella. All I do is tell her I miss her and love her and that I’m so sorry.

This past weekend was Leo’s wedding. It was such a beautiful venue and soooo unique. Everything was gorgeous. Including me! lol with hair and makeup done I never felt so pretty it was so fun. Think I felt pretty svelte lol. When I’d see myself in the mirror I just thought, who is this?!? lol.

I almost started bawling when she walked in to the twilight song lol. (A thousand years - Christina Perri). I was just soooooo happy for her.

I stayed till the end lol didn’t get to sleep till probably 3 am or so. I’m shocked I lasted that long. I didn’t really know anyone except the coworkers that were invited so I hung out with them as much as possible lol

I wish every happiness for the couple!

Then I had to go to a church group thing with n Sunday, surviving off 4.5 hours of sleep lol. Didn’t get home til 3 pm. It was good, just so tired. And I’m not sure why I can’t stand the thought of someone I don’t know praying for me. Asking someone I don’t know to pray for me is odd. It made me want to cry, wondering why I felt like I couldn’t. Because why? I don’t feel worthy? Because I feel lost? And I’d want to ask them to pray for me to not feel broken anymore?

Ugh, more crying. All while nugget is snuggled up to me trying to sleep. I know dogs can sense our emotions. He must know I am a mess.

The other week I woke up in the middle of the night. Looked at my Apple Watch and on the sleep screen all I could see was a big 22 for the date and the 2:22. I thought I was dreaming so I tapped my watch again and it said the same. So odd. I looked it up and read about angel numbers. Five twos had a few google hits all of different meanings. I guess in supposed to take it as I will.

I’m signed up for the marathon for next year, again with team rmhc. Speedy is registered also, since she deferred her bib due to injury clause. My running buddy also joined the charity instead of trying the lottery. He needs a name, hmm. I’m actually doing the distance series. My goal is simple - to not hit the wall and to get a better time.

Almost my birthday. Another day for me to be sad. Scorpio vibes lol

I forgot to say, Nugget finally started to play again a few weeks ago. He likes to go “fetch” the red frisbee. He’ll go chase it and run back with it all giddy. But he won’t bring it to me, he’ll just lay down and try to chew it lol. He also will play with a couple squeaky toys now and then.

He’s getting used to me being gone for a day. Hopefully he’s learned that I come back and won’t be a total mess for the cruise in Jan.

[stcrgazings]

Mending the broken pieces | (c.l)

[WHY WON’T YOU LOVE ME PT2]

This is the second part of why won’t you love me to read the first part is here

note: soooo, the part 2 of why won’t you love me is finally here and I am completely obsessed with how it turned out, I hope y’all enjoy it reading it just as much as I enjoyed writing it, happy reading!! Btw pls leave your feedback and let me know if you liked it.

pairing: charles leclerc x female character/reader

summary: in the second part of why won’t you love me, you and Charles try and fix things but will it be enough?

warning: alcohol, cursing, cigarettes, slight anxiety attack, crying, fighting, slight mentions of sex. (didn’t know if y’all wanted smut so I didn’t included it)

word count: 3.3K

———

It had been three days since you left.

And every minute that passed Charles felt the sink in his stomach dig further.

Okay so he had been the absolute biggest dick in the whole country of Monaco, and he had the time to realize that as the hours passed after you left.

He couldn’t believe the way he acted towards you and it angered him even more that it took, you leaving for him to realize it.

He took the last caramel brownie that you had made on Friday that he didn’t even notice to his mouth, as he dialed your phone once again for the thousand time on those last three days.

He knew he was acting selfishly the moment he arrived and locked himself in that stupid simulator room, he knew he should’ve just eat the pasta, he knew you were incredibly excited for the trip to Portofino and that that cancellation would’ve hurt you and he knew that you made the brownies just for him to try, and he knew it wouldn’t have killed him to watched the movie with you, but he just didn’t.

Why? Because he just didn’t feel like it, because for that whole week he just assumed you’d be there, that you’d just take it because he knew that you loved him, he straight out took you for granted, assuming you’ll always be there for him, even when he directed an entirety of 20 words to you in the whole first week of the summer break.

So he had called, and texted and apologized through voicemails and messages but without getting a response from you whatsoever, not even a delivered on the sight.

“Come on baby, pick up, please” he whispered to himself as the phone rang for a third time, the clock in the wall marking almost 2 am.

He was starting to get to the point where he was basically worried sick about where the hell you were, since you hadn’t given any sign of life since you left.

He had call your mum and your dad and even your sister who lived back in England with her husband.

I mean he knew you were okay since he called Daniel about a dozen times and when the Australian finally pick up he cursed him with probably every cursed word in the book, and after Charles had apologized and begged Daniel told him that you were alright, that he had picked you up from the apartment you both shared but he didn’t say where you were staying despite Charles pleads, Daniel cursed him again telling him that when he picked you up you were made a mess.

“She said she couldn’t breathe and wouldn’t stop fucking crying, you’re a fucking jerk, she’s so awesome and you know she doesn’t deserves whatever you did to her, so you either fix it, or leave her alone” the words of the Australian driver still resounding in the back of his mind, shattering his heart as pictures in the back of his mind the mess he had made upon you.

“The number you have dialed it’s not available at this time, please try again lat…” the robotic voice replied in what Charles in what it seem now like it was mocking from the million times Charles had heard it in the last few hours.

He throw himself on the couch as he check the chat he maintained with you, checking to see if maybe by a miracle of higher power you had answered his texts.

But you hadn’t, not even read them.

So he rubs his faces and eyes as he felt his stomach sank further as he imagined all the possible scenarios you could be in right now, ana he knew he deserved each and every one of them, for not loving you the way you deserved, for not treating you the way you deserved and for not showing that in fact he did love you and need you more than anything in this world.

He was angry and disappointed at himself, and he had taken out on you completely ignoring you and pushing you away and now you had disappeared from the face of the planet earth.

At least that’s what he thought as he opened the TikTok app in an attempt to keep himself awake.

And lord did that work as the first video that popped up on his screen was one of you in a very tight black dress dancing in a booth of a very crowded club as you were being sprayed in champagne by Kelly Picket and some of your other friends.

His heart started beating faster than the f1 car he drove daily as he watched the video again, trying to convince himself that maybe it was an old video from someone’s birthday that you had maybe mentioned to him a while ago and he had forgotten, but all that convincing was for nothing as he took a glimpse of the video’s caption.

“Y/N Y/L in a club in Monaco earlier tonight, Charles Leclerc keeps winning”

Oh God, you were at a club?!

(…)

To say you were completely, totally and utterly wasted was the understatement of the century.

And you knew that as you downed yet another bottle of water as you tried to wash off the feeling of nausea that camped in the back of your throat, as you everything around you was spinning at a high speed.

You were sitting in the sidewalk outside of the bar back pressed against a stop sign as you prayed that the ill feeling would go away, you had drank an insanely amount of vodka, trying to numb the pain, to forget Charles’ careless words and to shut your on thoughts as they kept repeating in the back of your mind like the most sick ass mantra.

why?

why?

why?

why won’t you love me?

You shook your head trying to get those stupids thoughts out of your head and as the phone screen lit up for the first time in three days it started beeping and vibrating like something you had never seen before, thousands of texts and calls from Charles one showing after the other all of them being pleads and apologies and love you’s.

You felt her eyes getting watery as she read one by one the texts she had received from her boyfriend, so with shaky hands and tears you started texting.

You wanted to say so much, you wanted to say how much you had missed him, how much you’ve been missing the thing you both used to have, but you’re brain kinda typed for itself as a single text was send in the chat you shared with the pilot.

I am trying to forgive you, but I’m struggling cuz I don’t know how.

sat. 2:16 am

You blocked the phone scared of what the answer of your boyfriend could be, a girl standing beside you, a worried look painted on her face.

“You ok?”

You chucked softly as you nodded drying the tears that kept running trough your cheeks.

“Girl you’ve been crying your eyes out for the past five minutes I’ve been here, you’re not okay, you need a cigarette”

You laughed again as you grabbed the cigarette from her hand.

“So what happened?”

“My boyfriend’s a douche” was the only thing you stated as you took a hit off the cigarette, throwing her head back in an attempt to relax herself.

“Yeah but he loves you” the girl said as she smiled as she smoked her cigarette too.

“I guess” you murmured softly as you press your plans against your face trying to keep

yourself awake and to dry the tears.

“If you have to guess than it’s probably not there” the pressure on your chest started to build up.

“If you had asked me a month ago, I would’ve probably said yes, but right now I feel like I’m falling from something that we built way too high and believe me, it’s a long way down”

“If you’re telling me this, after a fight you just had, then my chick from the club advise is, talk to him, you’re saying all that from a place of anger and fear, fear of what’s coming next, and what he might say to you but we all say things we don’t mean when we fight, so talk to him” the girl brushed her hand against your shoulder as you sobbed into your hands.

“What if he doesn’t love me anymore?” You asked as your voice broke a little, because she was right you were scared, scared of what he might say to you, of what might happen next, of everything.

“Well by the way your phone is beeping right now, he probably does, give him a chance.” She said as she pointed at the lit screen of your phone throwing her cigarette to the floor making her way back to the bar. “It’s better to regret about trying, than to regret of not trying at all, pick up, bye” she said goodbye as she entered the club once again with a small hand gesture.

So you made yourself look at the phone screen as Charles’ nickname “baby” adorned the screen surrounded with hearts and with all the bravery you had on your drunk self, you picked up.

“Mon amour, please let’s talk you— you know I love you I can— I can’t do this without you, please” the desperate pleads from Charles was the first thing that sounded, breaking your hearts as you head him uncontrollably sobbing waiting for your answer.

“Charles baby, calm down, please”

“I— I am so sorry, please let’s talk” he sobbed, you were now crying too, hating the current situation you both were in but you tried to compose yourself as you didn’t want Charles to get more agitated than he already was.

“I know, It’s okay, we’ll talk but can you come and pick me up? Please” you asked as a whisper basically, but you knew the answer before he spoke as the sound of keys clattering and a door opening before he spoke.

“I’ll be there in 10” Charles said before a comfortable silence filled up the line, you knew he hadn’t hanged up so when you were about to, he interrupted you as he dried the tears that fell through his cheeks. “I love you”

“See you, Charles” you muttered as you hung to start waiting for him in the empty street, texting your friends that you were leaving.

(…)

Charles didn’t lie when he said that he’d get there in 10 minutes, and you knew that the second you saw his Ferrari 488 pista spider across the street, all your friends cheering as you smiled towards them.

“Someone is getting makeup sex tonight!”

“Climb that man like a tree honey!”

Were some of the screams directed towards you as you gave them your goodbyes and the finger making your way to Charles car a surprise face showing up on you as the pilot got out the car, saying hi to you on a shyly manner as surrounded the car to open the passenger door just for you.

“For ma chérie” he said as he bowed for you to enter the car, making you giggle softly.

“Really, Charles?” You chuckled as you entered the car once again, him nodding.

“I just want to show you that I am, really sorry and that I shouldn’t have acted liked a dick” he said as he entered the car, putting his seatbelt on.

“We’ll you don’t really get to do that” you mumbled under your breath, as you took the hand he had placed on your tight back into his lap.

“But I am sorry, why won’t you let me show it to you?” He asked as he started driving back into your place, a serious expression planted on his face.

“Just like you didn’t let me show you how I love you back in our apartment? And plus how do I know this isn’t some kind of apology act? How do I know you won’t be back to your selfish and imbecile ways as soon we’re back to our apartment and I forgive you, how do I know you do love me?”

“I— I love you! I do!” He said as he stopped the car in a red light in the busy Monaco streets, the despair clear on his face eary eyes as he stared into you.

“That isn’t what you said just three days ago!” You fought back, because yes there wasn’t anything more in the world that you wanted than to fix things with Charles, but you were scared because you didn’t wanted to feel the way you felt last week locked in that miserable apartment taking all of Charles’ shitty attitudes, wondering what the fuck you had done wrong knowing there wasn’t any answer to that question, and wondering why your boyfriend won’t love you.

“And I didn’t mean any of it! I was angry and upset I know that I shouldn’t have said it and i am sorry” he argued back, but way more calmer than you, probably because he knew that you were drunk and if the both of you got upset and disturbed you’d probably won’t get to anything, and he didn’t want that, he wanted to fix things, to get you back, to go back to the thing you had before knowing that he was the one that wreck it, which destroyed him more.

“But how do I know that! How do I know you’re telling the truth!” You cried, making Charles’ stomach twirl inside of him, there was nothing that he hated more than to see you cry and he hated it even more knowing that he was the reason of it as he watched you visibly shake in the seat beside him, the alcohol in your system definitely not helping you as you started to feel the ferrari was getting smaller and the air was missing in you lungs.

He parked the car on the apartment parking lot as he got out of the car as fast as his feet allowed him to, surrounding the car to once again open the car door of your side but not for you to get out as he grabbed you by the legs turning around to face him as he crouched beside you, one of his hands grabbing you gently by the jaw, wanting for you to focus on him for a sec and not the awful thoughts he knew were filling your head by the second.

“Hey, hey, look at me, ok? Focus on me baby, c’mon” he called you out softly as he rubbed your tight in a sweetly manner in an attempt for you to steady your breath, you did as you were told wanting to calm down as well staring into his bright green eyes that somehow always gave you comfort.

“You know it’s true because…” he paused for a second trying to formulate what to say in his head as he smiled and continued. “Because I love with everything that i have, and I can’t even bare the thought of not having you in my life, because my chest hurts every time i even began to imagine a life without you by side, because this past few days without you in the house have been hell, because for i fact that can do this without and more importantly I don’t want to because baby the rest of the world doesn’t matter if I don’t have you, I want you and need you back because I don’t care about the fancy ass cars, and the parties and the championship because what’s the point of winning races if I don’t drink the celebratory champagne with you, because I love you, and you’re the only one I care and want me beside me, kissing as we celebrate and hugging after a crappy day and from now on there won’t be a day where I don’t show it to you I promise you that, and as well I’ll spend the fucking rest of the summer break proving to you that I am sorry for the way I treated you and how much I fucking mean it when I say I love you”

He wanted to say so much more, but he didn’t really had the chance to as you grabbed his face and kissed him.

Charles could swear he felt like he could breath again after those three miserable days as his lips touched yours, it was a sweet intimate kiss as your hand snaked to the back of his neck as the other grabbed him by the collar of his hoodie you wanting him to be as close as posible as he smiled into the kiss.

“I missed you” you finally admitted the confession that was stuck in the back of your throat since the moment you saw him arrive to the club making you both giggle.

“I missed so much too Mon Amour, all I’ve fucking done in these past days was be miserable as I thought bout you” you laughed into his lips as he began to leave a path of kisses through your jaw mumbling how much he had missed you in between the kisses.

“Couldn’t get you out my fucking head, it’s like you’re injected in me” he mumbled as you giggled softly once again, grabbing his face to kiss him again.

“I swear to god Leclerc, treat me or act the way you did again and I’ll cut your dick off” you threatened kind of jokingly making him join you in your soft laughter.

“Oh no chérie, that will not be happening again you have I promise you by my f1 driver honor” he said as he pressed one of his hands on his chest, by his heart like he was swearing in a court or something as the other snaked behind your knees as he grabbed you by surprise when suddenly he lifted you bridal style out of the car, making you squeal loudly as he closed the car door walking away from the Ferrari with you in his arms like it was nothing.

“That doesn’t even exist!” You chuckle as he got inside the elevator laughing too.

“It does!” He defended himself. “You’re just not a f1 driver so you don’t know about it amour”

You denied with your head still laughing as he smirked at you.

“How about we go back to our home baby, and you let me show you how sorry I am” he whispered, mouth pressed in your ear as you felt the skin in the back of your neck go cold and your lower abdomen flutter in anticipation

“Jummm, that does sound good Mr. Leclerc” you smiled at him, as you pressed your forehead with his as the elevator opened in your floor.

“Well let’s go baby” he said as he made his way on to your apartment.

So you both got into the apartment to the shower where Charles truly showed you how sorry he was he took off your dress and washed your body and hair leaving kisses in everything inch of it, to then wrapped you in a towel and brush your hair with you sitting in his lap.

Then you both basically pass out on the bed till the day after at 2pm.

Where he woke you up with the best breakfast you had eaten in a long time and two tickets for Portofino and all the bags already packed as he also showed you in some other ways how sorry he was.

THE END.

[natsbaby]

Kiss Me in the Rain

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Summary: with you becoming stressed for your most special day, only Nat could tame the bridezilla in you

Warning: nothing!

A/N: since it’s raining at where I am right now and I remembered the notebook, I thought this would be a cute short story so I hope you guys like this one!!

“Nat!! Where are you??”

Nothing could stop the sigh that escapes your fiancée (soon to be wife)’s lips as you storm into your shared bedroom a week before your wedding, expecting the 5th meltdown from you today. “What is it, sweetheart?”

“It’s gonna rain next week! All week long!” You whine, devastated at the forecast for next week as you plop down besides Nat on the bed while she continues to read her book without glancing up from her page.

Lately, wedding plans hasn’t really gone your way so stress doesn’t even begin to describe what you’re feeling. It started with the chef you wanted to book half a year ago where you wanted his catering services but he’s not available due to another wedding, then the florists telling you 2 months ago that the flowers you wanted to order had to get cancelled because of an unexpected infestation that ruined the batch reserved for you, and the weather forecast was just your breaking point with other things not going your way.

She chuckles softly as she turns another page. “Oh my sweet baby, it’s alright if it rains next week”

“It won’t be alright because no one likes rain on formal events, and they’d all just run away for shelter while we’re drenched to the bones! I look horrible with ruined makeup, Nat” you suddenly feel the unexpected tears well up on your waterline, threatening to fall as you sniff. This definitely caught Nat’s attention as she finally turns to look at you as you continue.

“Its true tho we don’t normally care but..” you mumble as you finally open up what’s been bothering you. “What if this is just the world telling us to not get married?”

Ah, so that’s why, she thought as she bookmarks her book, placing it on the bedside table and turns to look at you as she gently runs her fingers through your hair.

You being superstitious was something Nat thought to be adorable, since admittedly the superstition side of you only manifests in relationships than anything else. You even made her chase after you for months because you wanted to have that Serendipity moment by writing your number on a dollar and spending it, hoping that one day she’d get it. Boy did it take Nat soooo long to get that dollar back just to get on a date with you.

“A little rain couldn’t hurt anyone you know” Nat explains as she gently presses a kiss on your forehead, wiping your tears away. “Besides, what’s more important? You and me, getting tied together forever or people’s complaint on a little water on their dresses or tux?”

You chuckle softly at that as you nod in agreement. “Yea..”

“Have you heard of that saying where if it rains on your wedding, it signifies more than 50 years of a happy marriage?” Your eyes widen at that, shaking your head no as it was the first time hearing it before Nat continues her train of thought. “I think our wedding photos would look really cool, just like the Notebook”

You raise your eyebrow teasingly as Nat gives you a wide teasing grin at the thought. “Come on babe, our photos would look perfect and everything else would go perfectly, even if there’d be hiccups along the way”

You hum in thought as Nat lays down besides you, taking you in her arms as you lay on your side so you could look at each other. “Are you disappointed that our nice, fall wedding might become a cold and wet one?”

She laughs softly at that before shaking her head no. “No never, even if a bear suddenly comes out and say hi”

“Why?” You couldn’t help but ask, albeit smiling softly at the silliness of what Nat said prior.

“Because I’m marrying you, I could never be disappointed when I spent a lifetime waiting for you”

[uwusenpaiuwu]

Sleepovers At The Baji Household feat. A Fed-Up Chifuyu

Summary: Chifuyu just wants to sleep, man, but Baji wants to be a jealous crackhead at 2 AM.

Pairing: Sano Manjiro | Mikey x Male Reader

Note(s): I had a little free time and wrote this. So, please enjoy! ALSO, to the anon that sent me a request a few days ago, I saw it and have it filed on my to-do list!!! I will definitely get to it as soon as I get a break in my schedule :)

"Chifuyu, ya wanna see some real discrimination?"

No. No, Chifuyu does not want to see what Baji means by 'real discrimination.'

Does he tell him that, though?

Yes, actually, because it's 2 in the fucking morning and, as much as he respects the other boy, he wouldn't put it past himself to smother him with a pillow after having his dream of cuddling with a sea of puppies suddenly destroyed.

Unfortunately for his sanity, Baji either doesn't hear him or, more likely than not, doesn't give a fuck, because he's already flopping onto his belly and whipping out his phone to do God knows what.

The dial tone that sounds from the speaker a few seconds later makes Chifuyu cringe, especially since it's only ever been a calm silence fit for a good night's sleep prior to Baji bulldozing through it with his absurd question. (At the very least, he's thankful that the latter has half a mind to keep the brightness on the lowest setting, otherwise, Chifuyu would have had to fight.)

On the far end of the row of carefully-laid futons, you shift in your sleep, eyebrows furrowing together at the noise. Rotating onto your side, you unconsciously reach for Baji, and just when he thinks you're being cute and trying to cuddle him, you smack him in the head.

Baji doesn't flinch, instead, takes his pillow and shoves it in your grasp to keep your unconscious self occupied, so that he can focus on getting through to the person who reuses to pick up (understandably so).

Releasing a frustrated groan after being redirected to voice mail for the fifth time, he dials the number again, muttering an impatient, "Pick up already."

Chifuyu feels sorry for the poor soul on the other end. He would've blocked someone following the first call, because again, it's-

The blond has to squint his eyes up at the digital clock on Baji's nightstand, which confirms that it's already 2:22 A.M, further solidifying the fact that he shouldn't be awake right now. And this also applies to the ever persistent first division captain, who insists on bothering who Chifuyu soon discovers is Mikey from the contact ID that flashes across the screen.

Why Baji is so keen on bothering him is a question he doesn't have the mental capacity to ponder over. The most energy he'll expend is to listen in when the call miraculously connects.

"What...?" comes a muffled voice from the receiver, tone laced in an irked grogginess birthed from a slumber rudely interrupted.

There's an absurdly loud, almost angry, roar of Mikey's name, one that has Chifuyu curling in on himself in a futile attempt to escape a sound that should be illegal at this hour.

But you know what else should be illegal?

The fucking whiplash Chifuyu gets when Baji's deep voice takes an abrupt 180°, switching from its normal gruffness to a squeaky, ear-piercing shrill as he screams, "I love you, love you, love you! Do you love me, too, Mikey-kyun~♡?!"

The room is dead silent.

Not a word. Not a murmur. Not a breath.

Just pure, unadulterated silence as both Chifuyu and Mikey process the words that hang in the air, permeating it with a goosebumps-inducing eeriness from having heard such a...a girly, overtly cutesy screech from Baji.

Then-

"What the fuck? He hung on me!"

Chifuyu opens his mouth, thinks better of reacting to the cursed scene he had the misfortune of bearing witness to, and promptly closes it.

Other people may have sleep paralysis demons.

But Chifuyu?

Chifuyu has Baji.

With both hands partially raised in prayer, he begs for the shenanigans to be over and done with.

They are not.

While his eyes remain closed in a last ditch effort to convince himself that it's all a bad dream, he hears a lot of grumbling happening on your side of the room, courtesy of Baji, who's scrambling around in search of...something. One quick peek reveals him fiddling with a phone - yours, to be exact, as evidenced by the distinctive phone charm of your favorite anime character hanging from it.

"(Y/n), wake up for a second," he hears him whisper. It takes a bit of prompting, until he's able to successfully rouse you enough from sleep to elicit any kind of response, which is, essentially, nothing short of an incoherent, slurred mess. Although, Chifuyu is pretty damn certain he heard you call Baji a 'dickhead' for the trouble.

Unperturbed, he continues shaking your limp form, coaxing you into wakefulness with, "Repeat what I tell you, and I'll let you go back to asleep. Deal?"

You squint your eyes at him, only able to make out a vague outline of his visage in the lightless room. "Promise?"

"Cross my heart, hope to die," he automatically responds with the same phrase he's become accustomed to saying whenever you two made a promise, something done purely out of habit, formed when the two of you were just kids and he wanted to get you to do something absolutely ridiculous either for him or with him. And just 'cause he knows you're more susceptible to complying if he does it, he also interlocks his pinky with yours.

"...Fine."

The approval is his cue to proceed, and it's as he's putting the phone on speaker that he turns back to a regretfully wide awake Chifuyu, mouthing a wordless, 'Watch.'

The phone rings, loud and clear, precisely once and only once.

"(Y/n), what's wrong?" It's important to note that even though Mikey still sounds tired as hell, his tone is much lighter, much happier really, than when it was Baji, which is an offense in itself to the said teen that's off to the side, attentively listening to the conversation unfold.

Then, it strikes Chifuyu, what Baji is trying to do, and fuck does it give him an instant headache.

Meanwhile, your mouth morphs into the dopiest of smiles with the pleasant surprise of hearing your boyfriend's voice, chest instantly overtaken by a warm fuzziness that never fails to make an appearance whenever he's involved. Sappy, you know, but it's true!

A light but firm nudge to your shoulder reminds you of your mission. It's too bad that, teetering along the edge of sleep as you are, the words Baji whispers are barely repeated correctly.

The initial phrase from before, the one Baji greeted Mikey with, is shortened to a simple, "You wuv I...?"

But, without missing a beat, you receive Mikey's confident reply of, "Mhm... I wuv you a lot."

There's a sleepy giggle then - a fucking giggle - before your voices drop to sweet whispers that the third and fourth wheels can't fully comprehend from where they are.

"Where the fuck was my 'I wuv you,' huh?!" Baji whisper-shouts, considerate of your conversation even when ranting and raving. "Shit, I would've taken a simple 'I love you,' too! I've known that bastard way longer than (Y/n), and this is what I get?!"

Okay. Toman's president answers his boyfriend's late night calls faster than he does anyone else's and openly expresses his love for him. So what? Chifuyu wouldn't exactly call it 'discrimination,' per se. 'Favoritism,' maybe if you wanna stretch it, but using as strong a word as discrimination, especially taking into account you two are dating; it's normal? Nah.

"You wanna say 'bye' to them? Mm. Baji and Chifuyu." A pause. "Fuyu, Mikey says 'bye.'"

"Bye, Mikey-kun."

The other person in the room waits, and waits, and waits, and when it's clear that there is no intention to address his presence whatsoever, Baji turns to Chifuyu with an almost scandalized expression, making wild gesticulations with his hands, clearly distressed. "See?!"

Blank blue eyes stare back at him, unblinking. Honestly, it's a common occurrence - Baji spiraling in a nonsensical rage - so it's easy for Chifuyu to block out the muted, jealousy-driven temper tantrum as he takes his pillow in both hands, raises it as high as he can, and-

Sigh.

-lets it flop right back onto his face.

He can't suffocate Baji. Shouldn't. Wouldn't. Couldn't. After all, they're best buds, meaning he has an obligation to put up with shit like this once in a while. (Plus, he'd probably get his ass kicked before he succeeds anyway. Totally not worth the beating.)

"Did you hear? Mikey said he wuvs me," he hears you drawl dreamily as soon as you hang up, sounding very close to clocking back out for the night.

"Yeah, yeah. Cute shit. Happy for ya, dude," Baji huffs. Thankfully, he sounds like he's in a similar state to yours, if the yawn that follows his sarcastic comment is anything to go by.

"...He soooo ignored you."

That warrants a punishing punch to the arm, dulled only slightly by the combination of the thick quilt you're swaddled in and the raven-haired boy's fatigue.

"I'll fucking throw you out right now, (Y/n). Don't test me."

"You won't."

"I will."

"Won't."

"Will."

The conversation gradually dies down shortly after, the exhaustion that took its sweet time getting to both of you having reached its peak with the help of the childish bickering. It takes 10 minutes, maybe 15, before two sets of light snores fill the room.

Finally.

Let it be known that there is a lesson to be learned from tonight's events. Really, there is. Y'know, something along the lines of 'Don't agree to a sleepover with Baji, if you plan on actually sleeping,' or whatever.

Alas, Chifuyu's consciousness fades before he realizes what it is.

~~~

"Mikey, be honest. Who do you love more? Me or-?"

"(Y/n)."

"But-"

(Y/n)."

"I-"

"(Y/n)."

Baji is only momentarily discouraged, sharp eyes glaring at the blond that lays his head on your lap after hi-fiving you. He didn't want to do this, but he's left with no choice.

"(Y/n) or Babu?"

From the way Mikey stiffens up, refusing to look at either him or you in the eyes, Baji knows he has him right where he wants him, has him torn between a cute face or a sweet ride.

"Oi! Don't pretend to be asleep! Answer the damn question! OI!"

(After hours of serious contemplation - even though you told him it doesn't particularly matter - it's revealed that, of course, Mikey loves you more. Babu just happens to trail behind as a very close second.)