#SORRY THIS IS THE ONLY REACTION IMAGE I HAVE ON HAND BUT ITS /POS AND GOOD I PROMISE

[imhereforscm]

"Two different worlds" Part 5

Genre: fluff

Warnings: none

A/N: My fingers are slipping from the sweat, omggggggggg I'm surprised I can still type anything lol. Btw I'm sorry for the slow updates on the series, my loves. But at least it's here now! I hope you enjoy!🎀🎀🎀 (I have a feeling I had something else to say as well, but I can't remember for the life of me. Anyway!—Oh! Yeah! I remembered! The headcanon that Tauxy Tauxy is a very light sleeper is from an anon! So credit goes to them😚❤️❤️)

You sneezed. You sneezed again.

"Here." Tauxolouve said softly, offering you a napkin.

"Thank you." You said, just as another sneeze came forth. How did you come to this point? Gods weren't supposed to get sick. But at least now you knew that the rumours of gods getting exceptionally tired on Earth was true.

Tauxolouve sighed and patted your head softly, before walking to his own chair in his art studio. "You shouldn't have walked in the rain like this."

"It was so warm and sunny just a day before, how should I have known it'd suddenly start pouring?" You said, your memories taking you back to your dance, beneath the rich fabrics of the golden hour and the melody of the birds. The mental images made you smile, even though, your head felt foggy and was aching for the first time in your very long life.

"Well, I can't force you to pose for me like this." He said and you looked down at your dress in guilt.

"I'm sorry." You said and your shoulders jumped as he walked up to you and curled his fingers beneath your chin, tilting your head upwards.

He smiled sweetly at you as he spoke. "I don't want to see my muse sad. So smile for me?"

'His muse'. You... Didn't hate that. A soft smile spread across your lips the more you repeated that word in your head, your stomach feeling a ticklish sensation, one that made you feel like a teenager again. How come a human man could tell you exactly the things that made your heart beat this way and gods—with supposedly more experience in the field of compliments and women—never could.

"Now that's what I like." His hand fell away from your chin and he offered you another napkin. "But..." His eyebrows furrowed a little in skepticism, as he looked into your face, which had lost most of its colour, due to the cold. "Being sick in a hotel room... I can't imagine worse."

You smiled at him, gently waving your hand at his direction, with the intent to ease his worries. "I'll be alright. Thank you so much for caring, though." After all, you were still not human. Therefore, your limits and needs were not the same.

And yet, he still didn't feel content with the situation. "You can come over to my house."

"Excuse me?" You asked, your eyelashes standing up in surprise.

"Oh!" Tauxolouve's face cracked into one of shock for a moment as well. "I didn't mean it in a weird way!" He rushed to explain himself, raising his hands before his chest defensively. "I just thought I could take care of you for the time being. Since you don't have any friends or family in Paris that is. Spending an illness inside a hotel room? Sounds a bit lonely."

Your lips parted a little, your reaction to his thoughtfulness, wordless. Tauxolouve never meant you harm or any ill intent, you knew that much. He only proposed the idea with your best interest at heart. "No, I'd be too much of a burden." You gently shook your head, declining.

"I beg to differ." He said. "I proposed the idea, because I can handle it and... I think it's a good way to thank you for modeling for me all those days... But I won't push it further! The decision is up to you and what you feel comfortable with!" Tauxolouve got up from his chair and pushed the packet with the napkins closer to you, across the table—which was now much more organised than the first time you came here—and reached for the pitcher, pouring tea into his cup. "Would you like some as well?" He offered, with a smile.

You didn't reply for a few moments, flipping around the potential decisions in your head. You trusted him. And looking at it from another perspective as well, you had no clue of human colds. How were you supposed to care for yourself at this rate? "Can I... Accept your offer?"

The two of you made your way to his house. He unlocked the door and stepped aside to open the way for you. "Ladies first." He said, his slanted eyes narrowing and bringing out his mature charm, through the dark gems he had for irises.

You smiled to yourself as you made your way inside. Physically, you weren't feeling at your best, but mentally, you felt so beautiful by his gentle treatment.

The atmosphere in the tiny house was warm and a welcoming aura filled the thin hallway. It wasn't just a house... It was a home. A true home, unlike most big and luxurious houses in the Heavens. You were always intrigued by humans' simplicity and getting this close to them made you love their way of living even more. You had relaxed so much into this peaceful house, that for a split second, you swore you could give up godhood to experience this warmth forever.

"Let me show you inside." Tauxolouve's voice snapped you out of your trance and you followed him inside, your eyes never growing tired from taking in all the things the faces of your world would call classless, pitiful or cheap.

Tauxolouve opened a door to a bedroom, with a single bed and a table beside the window, which overlooked into a street full of people walking off to their different lives. "Make yourself at home." Tauxolouve said and placed the keys on the beside table. "I'll leave the keys to this room's door and the outside door here, so you can feel safer. Anything you'd like to eat? Or anything you'd like to drink?"

You thought his question through, as you slipped into bed. "Do you have something warm? Anything."

"Of course, should I leave it a surprise?"

You nodded chuckling softly at his idea of a little game, as you soaked into the softness of the blanket.

Tauxolouve left the bedroom and you listened to his footsteps walking away, as you laid back onto the big pillow, looking up at the ceiling.

It all started as a vacation merely for sightseeing. And you ended up meeting Tauxolouve. Your heart raced a little at the memories of his thoughtful actions. He never made you uncomfortable nor feel unwelcomed. He always had manners towards you and treated you with gentleness and respect.

And thinking further back into the past, you've never been treated this way by a man before. You knew these feelings were wrong. You shouldn't have gotten so close, but what could you do? You couldn't possibly shut your heart even if you tried.

"And behold..." Tauxolouve's voice emerged from down the hallway and he entered the room, holding something, hidden beneath a towel. He placed it on the beside table and pulled the towel off. "Voila!"

Your eyes widened and you smiled with great interest at the chocolate steaming in the mug.

"What a cute face." He commented, chuckling a little, affectionately.

"This looks delicious." You said in awe, taking notice of the marshmallows placed on the plate beneath the mug. You remember Aigonorus telling you about these, but you never actually had the chance to try some, since he always let you know he got himself some after he had eaten all of them. You laughed at the thought of him.

"What is it?"

You took a marshmallow between your fingers and looked up at Tauxolouve. "I have a friend who really likes these." You took the soft, tiny pillow into your mouth and its sugary taste coated your tongue, making your eyes practically light up at the delicious taste. "Where had these been all my life?" You said to yourself, looking down at the rest of the marshmallows.

"Wait, you've never had marshmallows before?" Tauxolouve said, a little surprised.

"No, it's thanks to you I'm trying some for the first time." You said with a big grin, as you ate another one.

"Thanks to me?" Tauxolouve's smile became mature and you found yourself swallowing thickly at the sight of it. "I'm flattered by the way you worded that."

Your cheeks warmed up and not knowing what else to do under Tauxolouve's sensual gaze, you pulled the blanket higher, covering your cheeks with it. "I didn't mean it like that."

He laughed and approached you, stroking your beautiful hair gently. "I know. I was only joking. Now now..." He said, clasping his hands in front of him. "I will give you some peace and alone time. Feel free to do as you please."

It didn't take long after you finished your hot chocolate for your eyes to close, your eyelashes resting on top of your cheeks. Sleepiness was an odd feeling, but you didn't mind it and allowed it to overtake you, cradling you in its cloudy arms.

The sleepy veil, Hypnos draped across your eyelids fell after a few hours and you shifted around the bed, until you could process your surroundings again.

You sat up and rubbed your eyelids, your eyebrows rising, still a little sleepily, at the man kneeling beside the bed and sleeping onto his folded arms, which held him up on the bed.

The room was dipped in silence, giving you enough peace to listen to Tauxolouve's slow beaths. His lips were parted slightly and his sleeping face seemed so calm, that you couldn't help finding it cute and precious.

A single strand of hair had fallen from its slicked back state and into his face, which seemed too porcelain in your eyes to belong to a human.

Quietly and gently, you reached out a hand towards him and tucked the dark strand behind his hair.

Tauxolouve's eyelids squinted and opened slowly, revealing his deep eyes, still unfocused from their slumber.

"Oh, Heav—my... My god!" You said, fixing your little slip, which wasn't too big, but you still wanted to be sure your identity was completely hidden. "I'm so sorry for waking you up. I was trying to be as gentle as I could."

"Don't fret. I'm just a very light sleeper." He smiled softly at you and rose to his full height, before taking a seat on the bed.

"Also... Why were you sleeping on the floor?" You asked, confused. Did humans enjoy floors so much? And why have you never heard of that before? What is Karno hiding from you?

"I came to check on you and I noticed you had a fever, so I stayed by your side, waiting for your temperature to cool down again, but... Uhm..." He looked down at his hands, a terribly faint hint of embarrassment showing on his face. "It seems to me that I fell asleep."

You laughed softly and looking into his beautiful face as he yawned, you identified something in your heart, that was both a gift and a curse in your case.

You were in love with the very person you weren't supposed to fall in love with...

[solargeist]

HALF OF THE ART IN MY FALLERY IS JUST.... YOUR ART CYZ ITS JUST SO GOOD??? LIKE WHEN IM ON CAR RIDES OR SMPLACE W NO INTERNET I JUST SCROLL THROUGH MY GALLERY N LOOK AT IT CUZ UR ART STYLE MAKES ME FEEL SO WARM N HAPPY.

OOUUGGHHHH UR THE WAY U DRAW GHOSTBUR JUSY GIVES ME A WHOLE LOT OF SEROTONIN. HE JUSR A LIL HAPPY FELLOW I WUV HIM SO MUCH. EVERYTIME I SEE HIM IN UR ART STYLE I JUST GO 'AWWEEE <:]' THE FACT THAT U MADE ME FEEL ACTUAL EMOTIONS WITH UR LIL DOODLES IS SOMETHING I WILL NIT FORGET.

UR ART IS SO COOL HAVE FUNNY LEAF 🍁

WAH HI

THANK U !!!! IM GLAD !! <3333

[mochii0park]

meraki; 02 I jhs

Title: Meraki

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader / Jin x Reader

Part of series: Waterlilies and Japanese Bridge

Genre: literaryscout!hoseok x writer!reader

Word count: 4.4k

Summary: Throughout your whole life you lived in your sister’s shadow, watching from side-lines as she formed herself into a successful businesswoman with an envying life. Never being able to fill her shoes you gradually understood the meaning of an estranged family and the burden it carried. The twenties began slowly slipping from your grasp which had been embedded with insecurities and longing for fulfilment. Pouring your heart out to strangers with a pseudonym meraki, you began second guessing the decision when an email lands in your inbox.

Author's note: unedited, i had fun writing this chapter tbh

Taglist: if you want to be added to the taglist message me

@namsope32 , @cuteipat , @ofvopemin

Masterlist

Meraki masterlist

<  chapter 01 | next chapter >

You absentmindedly twirl in your chair, chewing on the pencil in your hand. The ticking of the clock was inaudible from the loud sound of keys smashing against the keyboard. Your mind raced in different directions and to say you were anxious was an understatement. A black polished oxford shoe lands harshly on the surface of your chair halting your twirl. The stain is starkly visible, inhabiting your mind and annoying you endlessly.

Min Yoongi pulls his foot back; the action makes your chair stroll backwards the back hitting your desk. “I am not paying you to slack off during work hours.”

It took a lot of willpower not to roll your eyes. He exhales, leans forward, and takes the sheet of paper from your lap. You could feel the level of disappointment rise with each sigh as he reads the lines of the text.

“I understand inspiration has to come to you, but it’s been months.” He scraps the paper throwing it into the bin, the action itself telling you what he thought of your work.

To be honest your thoughts on it didn’t differ much.

“I am sorry. It hasn’t been my month.” Or your year. You cower further into the chair. It was embarrassing enough to fall behind because of your private issues but having your higher up pity you was by far worse.

Yoongi shakes his head taking a seat on the sofa. He unbuttons his sleeve pulling them until they reached his elbows. Working for him for over two years made you know that whatever matter he was about to discuss was serious.

“The single didn’t do well,” you nod as you recall seeing it flop dramatically,” We need to produce an album that will reach the top ten charts. That won’t happen if you sit here twirling for hours with nothing to show me.”

“I understand.” He clicks his tongue, a ding from his phone gaining his attention as he signals for you to hold your thought.

You mumble hypocrite under your breath relieved when he gives no reaction to the word as he locks his phone looking straight at you. He crosses his legs, hands intervened on his knee as he rocks back and forward.

He glances up at the ceiling whistling an unfamiliar tune. After a few seconds, he stops rocking, taps his knees enthusiastically and walks towards the guitar. He whistles the tune over and over until he manages to perfectly string it through guitar chords. You stare at him watching closely as he scribbles a few notes and tosses the paper to you.

“Try to write something that would go well with this tune.” -was the last thing he said before he put the guitar back in its stand and left the room.

You let the frustration out through a scream, the soundproof plates securing it between the four walls. Ignoring the papers laying in front of you, you dig through the content of your purse. You extract pack of cigarettes. The clock on the desk flashes 10 pm and you know a long night was ahead of you.

The lobby was empty, the patter of your shoes cutting the silence. You tap your foot impatiently as you wait for the lift to take you to the rooftop. Smoking was forbidden in the KT entertainment building so your only options either the roof or the yard in front of the company.

“Graveyard shift?” A voice to your right says.

You scoff placing a cigarette in the mouth. “Yeah, you too?”

Baekhyun nods following you inside the lift. “I wish trouble wouldn’t follow Jungkook everywhere he went.”

“He got into a scandal?” Baekhyun catches the doubt in your voice and smiles.

He closes his eyes, resting his head against the mirror. You watch with pity as he breathes out in defeat. “It wasn’t him per se. A friend of his caused ruckus in a karaoke bar in Busan. Somebody sent an image of him leaving the bar. He was drunk and accompanied by a girl.”

You whistle at the last part. Idols getting caught with a female was almost like a death sentence for their career, no matter if the female was just a friend. Jungkook was the star of KT Entertainment, the one who brought the revenue. The idol has had a clean image so far. He did drink and lit a cigarette with his friends but, who didn’t? Although he wasn’t problematic, he had a knacker for attracting trouble.

The lift stops at your designated floor and Baekhyun jumps already halfway through the door. You follow behind him, wrapping your arms around yourself for some warmth. The cold night leaves traces over your cheeks, reddening them. You inhale the air, the scent reminding you of last year’s autumn. The image of Seokjin smiling at you as he crunches leaves is shattered by Baekhyun. He stops in front of you a spark flashing from his lighter casting different shades over his face.

You lean in, inhaling the nicotine as the tip of the cigarette burns. You observe him as he inhales a smoke before exhaling it and making a circle out of it. You often forgot he was six years your senior. His youthful face and the lively person often misled people believing he was far younger.

He leans against the rail, a hand in the pocket of his jeans. The scenery in front of you looked like a young adult novel. The light of the city flashed behind Baekhyun, his figure coming out as a blur because of the smoke. His newly dyed red hair catching your attention.

The silence between you wasn’t an awkward one, on the contrary, it was comforting. Finding a smoke-buddy like him was a blessing. He wasn’t very talkative despite his upbeat personality; he somehow distinguished your emotions well and knew when to speak and when to be silent.

“Did Yoongi punish you again?” He breaks your train of thoughts, choosing the spot closest to you to stand.

“Well, I wouldn’t call it punishment,” you throw the bud on the floor stepping over it lightly before you throw it in the bin, “but I do have to write some lyrics to a beat of his choosing.”

“Sounds like a punishment to me.” He chuckles as he lits another cigarette.

You shrug your shoulders. Working with Yoongi hadn’t been at all difficult as how people told you it would be. When you applied for the position, you read various posts on forums about Yoongi’s wrath and the difficulty of the tasks he gave. Many people criticised him for his mentorship, but you had found it refreshing. He never sugar-coated his opinion; he was straight to the point kind of a guy, and you liked it. Well, not every single time but you can’t have the best of both worlds in this industry.

“I can handle it. He’s right, I am behind deadlines, and I should focus on work instead of my personal life.”

Baekhyun looks like he wants to say something but quickly changes his mind. Throwing the bud over the rail he presses the down button. You punch him on his shoulder, hating the way he never cared much about the environment and the disposal of his trash.

“I’ll see you around. Maybe for a coffee next time?” Baekhyun smiles as you exit the lift, and you hum a quiet yes before going in the direction of your studio.

A part of you always felt bad for turning down Baekhyun’s invites for a coffee. You knew his motives were nothing but friendly seeing as you’ve met his long-term girlfriend Dayhun. The two were a match made in heaven having the same humour and playful personality. Sometimes it came to the point where they morphed into one person which gave you the creeps.

You laid on the couch, legs looking at the ceiling, back twisted and the head narrowed to the floor. It was half-past midnight, and inspiration was lacking in every sense. You scrunched the papers with words you thought were bad and aimed for the bin in the corner. You have yet to hit the bin, the papers lying next to it.

You were about to throw the next paper when your phone buzzed. Deeming the notification oh so important you fish it out of your back pocket staring at the screen. Yoongi’s name appears under the official e-mail inviting all the employers of the KT Entertainment tomorrow for a celebration of Jeon Jungkook winning an award for the Male Musician of the Year Netizen Vote and his single Still with You winning the Best Pop Song.

You sit up straight preparing yourself to decline the invite when a message pops up.

Min the Boss Yoongi

The invitation isn’t optional for you. You are required to come.

Y/N

You didn’t even ask if I was busy tomorrow night?

Min the BOSS Yoongi

Are you busy tomorrow night?

Y/N

No, but that’s beside the po-

Min the BOSS Yoongi

Great, see you at 8 pm tomorrow.

You massage your temples trying not to sink further into the frustration you felt for this man.

Y/N

Fine.

Min the BOSS Yoongi

I wrote that everyone could bring a plus one if they desire, seeing as the two of us and Jeon’s manager will be working tomorrow night, I highly advise you not to bring a plus one. I won’t mind if you do, but they might since you will be by my side most of the time.

You type a quick reply and toss the phone into your bag. Sehun wouldn’t be opposed to the idea of a plus one knowing he wanted to infiltrate himself into the upper society. Meeting people of such status equalled cases with greater stakes and greater stakes meant higher pay. You were gathering your belonging when a soft knock on the door caught your attention.

Baekhyun’s head pops behind the doors. “I was about to leave do you need a ride?”

You smile at him and nod. Baekhyun gives you a thumbs up, happy knowing he won’t be driving home alone at this hour. Luckily for you, he lived nearby and had given you plenty of times a ride. You get up from the couch and throw your purse over your shoulder, locking the studio.

As you walk to the car you discuss tomorrow’s party in Jungkook’s honour. You chuckle as Baekhyun grabs his head already imagining scandalous scenes pernicious for Jungkook’s career.

                                                      ______

At the sight of the guests’ attire, you felt severely underdressed. The sleeveless v cut dress tightened by a small knot on each side of your shoulders fell a little bit above your knees. Combat boots were your go-to footwear on such occasions, unlike the rest of the women at the party you needed to feel comfortable in order to finish tasks. You had to run around from one place to the other, obeying each order your boss gave. Sometimes you felt more like a secretary than a songwriter. Under such circumstances, high heels weren’t an option unless you wanted blisters.  

The metal rings on your fingers clanged against the glass deconcentrating you. The room swarm of people of different ages and statuses. You fell back blending well with the rest of the staff you tolerated. Baekhyun stood next to Jungkook, the younger if closely examined looked exhausted. Yoongi stood a few feet away talking to a group of men, some that you recognized.

A hand taps your shoulder, a familiar lavender scented perfume reaches your nose. Momo lays her head on your shoulder. “I thought this was a party. It feels more like a business gathering.”

Momo had been the main choreographer at the KT Entertainment. She was the type of person whom you couldn’t hate even if you wanted to. Kind natured and a bit naïve, she was the heart of the company always ready to help you or brighten your day.

You chuckle as you pat her head while she twists the straw in her cocktail. “Well, Min Yoongi organized it. He wouldn’t know what fun was even if it hit him straight in the face.”

Momo chuckles. “But he sure knew what handsome meant. Look at those men at his side.”

Something you noticed while working for him was the pallet of handsome men he knew which he called close friends. The first you met was Park Jimin, a highly respected dancer that occasionally stepped in to fill for Momo when she was absent. He was very charming and well equipped with words that bared red shade to the cheeks of female employers.

After Jimin, you’ve met Kim Namjoon, a literary professor who frequently reviewed your work. He was shy which often came off as reserved but overall, he was a pleasant company to have when going through your lyrics. He gave them the spark that was much needed to make the song into a hit.

Next to Namjoon stood Kim Taehyung. You’ve met him on one occasion when you barged into Yoongi’s office after he sent a rather rude message. Out of all Yoongi’s friends, he was the one you knew the least. Unlike Namjoon’s unintentional cold behaviour Taehyung’s was deliberate. He didn’t even introduce himself as he left the office making you feel like shit for interrupting what seemed an important meeting.

Another person who was part of Yoongi's close circle is Kim Seokjin, who recommended you to Yoongi. The two were childhood friends and somehow, you’ve never heard of the name Yoongi until two years ago. As much as you hated Jin now, you were still grateful for his help.

The last person in the circle was unfamiliar to you. He fitted well with the others, his handsome face wearing a smile that never flattened through the conversation as he jumped into Yoongi’s words a few times causing the gang to laugh. He had to be very close to Yoongi for your boss not to bash him for interjecting but rather send him a smile.

Momo lifts her head from your shoulder and stands in front of you. “Did you notice one of Yoongi’s friends absent from parties?”

You swallow a lump at the thought of your best friend before you quickly shake your head. “No, not really.”

“Call me crazy but I’m sure I saw Kim Seokjin at these parties before.”

“Can’t recall. Why do you care about him when Park Jimin is over there?” You try to change the subject hoping Momo would take the bait.

She huffs rolling her eyes. “You know I am not a big fan of him. Sure, his work is splendid but him? His personality? It needs a major rework.”

You chuckle at her disgusted expression as she jabs the olive pretending it was Jimin’s face. “Well, then you have Jeon Jungkook.”

“What am I? The company’s serial dater? Can I be honest with you?”, Momo says you follow her line-of-sight landing on Jungkook.

“Sure.” You say as you watch him push past people before he stands next to Jimin, engulfing the older one in a hug.

“I am sorry I know you work with his team, but I hate his songs. They feel like all the washed pop songs you hear on the radio. The whole night I’ve been lying to people saying his latest one is amazing.” You laugh loudly at her confession partly sympathising with her. It was ironic how much you both loved the songs you wrote for him and hated.

“No need to apologize just because I work for him.” You shrug off her apologetic smile, her lips fall into a straight line after she swallows a big sip of her drink.

“It’s still kind of awkward. We work together Y/N, I make all of his choreographies.”

“So? Just because you work together doesn’t mean you have to be a fan.” She nods soaking up your words. She goes to take a sip of her drink, but she groans in surprise at the empty glass.

“I’m going to get another cocktail. You want some?”

You shake your head, and she shrugs her shoulder starting to walk away. Before she can disappear from your sight you call out for her. She turns around tilting her head slightly. “Who’s the fifth guy in Yoongi’s circle?”

You watch as she searches for Yoongi and the rest of the gang. The man in question seemingly sensing you spoke of him looks up at you offering you a smile. He was by far the most handsome one in the group by your standards. Dressed from head to toe in red he, stood out in the mass, the waisted suit hugging his body showing off his well-built figure.

Doubting the smile was for you, you look around searching for the real receiver not wanting to look like an idiot if you return it. Seeing your action, the man laughs which catches the attention of the group.

When Yoongi turns around motioning for you to join them you flush. As you pass Momo her touch lingers for a while on your elbow. She darts close whispering in your ear.

“That’s Jung Hoseok.”

The information left you out of breath, the e-mails he kept sending replaying themselves in your mind. You stumble a bit when Momo’s light touch disappears. Feelings a set of eyes on you, you regain your footing and walk towards your boss. Each step feeling heavier.

There was no one else to blame for the situation you found yourself in but yourself. You knew who Hoseok was in theory, he published many bestseller books and everyone who was even remotely into writing had some knowledge of him and his famous company. Although in the last couple of months your newsfeed lacked information about Hoseok’s whereabouts, you brushed it off as him working on a new book.

You knew about him all, but what he looked like. Jung Hoseok managed to avoid the press like his life depended on it. You saw articles of his assistant Yuta standing in his place at promotions and any other public event. If you only dug deeper or asked for the guest list, you could’ve avoided this.

Yoongi places the palm of his hand on your lower back guiding you into the circle. Jeon Jungkook waves giving you a soft but tired smile, Kim Namjoon nods in your direction slowly sipping the wine, Park Jimin gives you a polite greeting while Kim Taehyung acts as if you never existed. You saw Jimin elbow him lightly, but the man never wavered.

Your eyes stop at Hoseok who beams at you stretching his hand. Yoongi leans and whispers into your ear, the loud beating of your heart making it hard to differentiate his words. “Y/N this is Jung Hoseok.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you.”

Finally? What did he mean by that?

You muster up what you thought was a smile albeit a weak one but there. “The pleasure is all mine.”

Different questions race through your mind. Was he here because he found out it was you behind the username? Was he even Yoongi’s friend? Had this all been a plot to finally meet you?

“He hasn’t shut up about the Jungkook’s single. Something about it speaking out to him. He’s very excited to meet the writer behind it.” Yoongi tells you making your head snap in his direction.

There was a silent argument going on between you. It took you months before you accepted Namjoon into the small circle of people who knew that behind another pseudonym of yours stood your name. The songs you wrote for Jungkook mostly spoke of unrequited love and heartbreaks and it would mortify you if people knew it was you who wrote it. The pity looks you might get sent a shudder through your body.

“I can’t wait to hear the future songs you will write.” He says clapping enthusiastically unlike you who couldn’t even utter a word besides thanks. You felt like you kept were being rude. You tried your best not to let the events get to you, but it was hard with him bombarding your inbox constantly.

To your side, Yoongi smiles as if silently answering your question. Hoseok didn’t know you wrote the other songs, nobody knew except Namjoon and Yoongi. You exhale in relief, but the tension remains as you look up at Hoseok. He seemed like the mood maker of the group his smile permanently resting on his face.

“We’re currently working on a new song,” Yoongi announces, and you feel like you want the floor to swallow you up.

You notice Jungkook now paying attention to the conversation as Hoseok leans in. Yoongi turns to you putting you on the spot probably knowing you hadn’t written anything. Trying to calm your nerves you imagine Momo or Sehun standing in front of you instead.

The tension in your body slowly shimmers down, and you can feel yourself take control of the anxiety that was the result of the shock you felt from seeing Jung Hoseok.

“Something with a happier note I hope,” Taehyung says, and you wince at his stoic voice.

Hoseok tsks at him. “Whatever Y/N and Yoongi write will be a hit no doubt.”

“Whipped.” Jungkook coughs under his breath and Jimin giggles slapping him softly on the back of his head.

“We’ll see.” Yoongi smiles, and you follow his suit ignoring your burning cheeks.

Whenever you glanced at Hoseok he was already looking back at you. The attention he gave you every time you spoke offered you a feeling of importance that contributed to you speaking more freely in their presence.

“Did you manage to find anyone interesting to publish their work?” Namjoon’s sentence tickles your curiosity shifting your gaze to Hoseok whose smile for the first time tonight drops.

He plays with the drink in his hands prolonging his answer. “I did find someone, but I am not sure if we’ll sign a deal.”

You stiffen at his answer, the e-mails in your phone suddenly felling heavy.

Namjoon’s brow quirks up. “Not satisfied with the writing?”

Hoseok shakes his head, a weak smile on his lips. He bites his tongue before plopping it to the corner of his mouth. “On the contrary,” this seemed to confuse Namjoon,” they haven’t been responding to any of my e-mails.”

“That’s hard to believe.” Jimin joins the conversation, your attention changing between them as they speak.

"Did you offer them a bad contract?" Namjoon buts in jokingly once he finishes his drink.

Hoseok puckers his lips, slowly looking at Namjoon. "There was no contract to begin with."

"Your conversation gives me a headache. Can you finish the story in one go?" Taehyung speaks up and you silently agree with him.

Hoseok places the glass on the table in front of them, pushing his wavy hair to the sides. His eyes seemed even more mesmerising as they looked over the edge of his glasses.

"I've seen their work on a site and tried to contact them via e-mail. I’ve tried searching for them on other sites but with no results.”

"Why don't you call them or text them? It's the 21st century most people don't use emails as a form of communication."  Jungkook adds his two cents, and you see the rest of the table roll their eyes.

"Just because you use messenger and kakaotalk as communication doesn't mean others do. This isn't a chat between two friends, it's between possible business partners." Jimin scolds the younger and you stifle a laugh.

Namjoon pats Jungkook's back affectionately. "It's unprofessional to contact people through apps especially if you're someone of Hoseok’s status.”

"Anyway," Hoseok coughs straightening his posture," I don't know their name or number. All I have is the user under which they write and well the e-mail."

"Are you sure they are worth all the fuss?" Yoongi adds and you look at Hoseok who immediately nods.

"You should read their poems, Yoongi. They are magical, raw. You can feel each emotion slowly seeping into you. Just like with Y/N’s and yours song. It's powerful."

You tense up at the mention of your name which goes unnoticed by the rest as they engage in a lyrical discussion. You can see Taehyung backing away from the table with Jungkook following behind. Jimin occasionally nods to Hoseok's interpretation of your poems not interested but not wanting to be rude either. Yoongi and Hoseok go back and forward for a while before Namjoon excuses himself leaving the four of you.

"Anyway, I don't want to bore you with my work," Hoseok finishes the discussion turning towards you, " it was lovely meeting you Y/N. I hope to see you soon."

Highly unlikely you wanted to say. "Likewise."

He disappears in the crowd as Yoongi turns to you. "Jimin and I should talk to the other producers some more before we call it a night."

Soon enough they are out of your reach, and you feel like you could breathe for the first time tonight. Pulling your phone from your purse you head straight for the exit. You tap the familiar number, one you’ve dailed many times.

"Hello?" Sehun's voice cuts through your hectic thoughts.

"You will never know who I just fucking met."

"Seokjin?"

"What? No. It’s Jung Hoseok."

You say as you watch the said man lean into the wall of the lift before he notices you standing not far away. The last thing you see before the doors close was his smile turning into a smirk.

"Jung fucking Hoseok."

Miss/Mister Meraki,

I am writing you this mail in hopes of getting a response from you. Wishing the previous mail had landed in a spam box (rather than you not answering), I am writing you another one filled with more hope. After reading your poems I couldn’t help but notice the sad tone most of them carried.

In the light of the discovery, I am going with my hunch and will say freely that you are probably wary of me. Therefore, I’ve decided to take the time and let you get to know me. I’ll start by writing you little facts about me after I read one of your poems. Hopefully, by the end of the journey, you will choose me.

Kind regards,

Jung Hoseok.

[sending-the-message]

Intercepted Radio Transmissions [Part 2] by grigorianeye

Part 1

King: Radio check, you guys got all your shit together? (Indistinct voices) Good. Command, you are now designated call sign “Kasparov”, confirm.

Kasparov: King, this is Kasparov, I confirm call sign designation. Are your men in position?

King: We are. Team, call signs as follows. Team leader designated “King”. Lieutenant, your call sign is “Queen”.

Queen: Of course I am. MVP role for me.

King: Fuck off. In sequence, “Rook”, “Bishop”, “White Knight”, “Black Knight”.

White Knight: Should I be insulted or honored?

King: And you, EOD, your call sign is designated “Boomer”.

Unknown Sender: (indistinct)

King: Your radio giving you trouble Boomer? Bishop, make sure all his connections are good, I don’t want him giving us the silent treatment.

Boomer: Testing, testing, can you hear me now? Ah, the joys of the lowest bidder.

King: Yeah, we got you. You ready to move in? Are we driving in your piece, or are we going to have to carry it?

Boomer: Negative, Talon can drive in, but we might need to give it a hand on the stairs.

King: Good deal. Kasparov, we are now entering the NALHC facility.

Kasparov: Confirmed, King. QRF is on standby inside the building. Aries Team is monitoring the facility cameras. Be advised, there are multiple blind spots inside due to damage to the camera security systems.

King: Very good. What kind of cameras are we talking?

Kasparov: Regular light. There are no low light or IR cameras online.

King: Well, that’s too bad. Rook, Bishop, take lead, secure the stairwell, Black Knight, White Knight, see if you can get the bot downstairs without dropping it. Bottom sub-basement. Hey you, you the Aries commander?

Aries 2-1: Second platoon, I’m commanding. We’ll be watching the cameras for you. We’ve had some unexplained movement on sub-basement 1, but… we’re having a difficult time identifying the source.

Queen: What do you mean?

Aries 2-1: Honestly, we aren’t sure. We’ve swept that floor three times. There’s no place to hide, but we keep getting flashes of movement on multiple camera angles.

King: Do you have any still images of it?

Aries 2-1: Wait one. (indistinct voices) Here’s four frames. It’s nothing but blur, we can’t make heads or tails of it.

King: The fuck? Only four frames? Where is that?

Aries 2-1: Only four. I don’t get it either, the cameras are running at thirty frames per, but it only shows up in flashes. It’s down in some of the equipment monitoring stations. Big open floor, a few support columns, but even those aren’t going to be any kind of cover. From the perspective, we think they’re about five feet, give or take. Whoever they are, they must be sticking close to the walls. Most of the cameras in that floor are still up.

Queen: When was the last time you had movement?

Aries 2-1: About 45 minutes ago. Just those four frames worth. Nearly twenty minutes before that. Six frames, even blurrier. It seems to be getting longer and longer between instances, and the amount of screentime is dropping, too. I think whoever it is, is trying to hide from the camera pos

Unknown sender: Goddamn it, slower!

King: Last calling, what’s up?

Rook: Rook here, sir. Tweedledee nearly pushed me down a flight.

White Knight: Maybe you should give me some warning before you stop dead in your tracks. I can’t exactly see behind me.

Queen: I’ll head down and deal with the children.

King: Anything on the cameras at the bottom?

Aries 2-1: Nothing. Cameras at the bottom are all blown out or otherwise unresponsive. We have full coverage of the surface level, partial of sub-basement one, and the stairwells and elevators are all online.

White Knight: Elevators? Are you shitting me, guy?

Black Knight: Quit crying and go to the gym more.

White Knight: Says the guy walking forward, and can see what he’s doing.

Black Knight: All I see is your ugly face, my feet are as blind as you are, asshole.

Queen: Would both of you just shut up and walk?

Aries 2-1: Wouldn’t matter, the elevators are locked down, only the cameras in them work. We still can’t get the override to let us into them. Where are you guys from, anyway?

King: We’re special delivery from Fort Carson, sorry it took so long for us to get here.

Queen: Sir, we’re in position. Boomer is setting up the Talon now.

King: Okay, let me know when he’s done. So explain to me what exactly is sitting in the basement.

Aries 2-1: You’d have to talk to Charon lead to get an accurate description. Don’t expect much though, they got pulled within a few minutes of contact. All I know, big silver ball right where the reaction or collision, or whatever it was happened. Weird things though, is they heard singing. One guy swore it was Italian, but someone else on the team was sure it wasn’t. Weirdest thing though, the thing was basically a mirror, but no one could see their reflection in it.

King: What do you mean?

Aries 2-1: Whole room was reflected in the thing, but none of our team was showing up. One of the survivors from the top floor was trying to suggest that was some of the liquid helium coolant, but he couldn’t explain that bit.

White Knight: Couldn’t we have just called in an old priest and a young priest?

Queen: I swear to God, I will have you dusting the dirt when we get back up topside if you don’t shut up.

White Knight: Sorry, sir. Should we pray to Heinlein instead?

Queen: King, Boomer has the bot set up and ready to roll in. We’re ready to crack the doors whenever you say go. White Knight has lead.

White Knight: Oh, come on LT.

King: On the way down. Hold for me.

Queen: Got it sir. Rook, Bishop, stack up. Tweedledee and Tweedledum, take a knee behind the bot, get ready to cover.

Black Knight: Serious, boss? You’re gonna lump me in with him?

Queen: I didn’t pick the call signs, but they’re fitting nicely so far.

King: Says the Queen.

Queen: Goddamn it, Captain. You here yet? I want to get this over with. I’m not hearing any singing, but I’m properly creeped.

Rook: You don’t?

Queen: Do you?

Rook: I’m not hearing singing, but there’s some real faint musical something coming through. You really don’t hear it?

Queen: Nothing. Anyone else hearing it?

Black Knight: I hear something, but it’s not singing, and I really wouldn’t call it music.

King: Okay, here. Boomer, you ready to roll?

Boomer: Ready.

King: Rook, Bishop, pull the doors, let’s get this show moving. Kasparov, we are moving in on the epicenter.

Kasparov: King, you are a go.

King: Boomer, the floor is yours. Let’s see what’s in the box.

Boomer: Moving the Talon in. Kasparov, are you seeing the visual feed from the bot?

Kasparov: We see it. Video shows the orb, but there seems to be some rather serious distortion around it. Is that just the video feed or are you seeing the same distortion in person?

Boomer: I see something, but damned if I can define it. Looks kinda like a heat wave off a hot road. Okay, Talon is now four meters from the orb. Readings are normal, but it looks like there a sharp temperature drop the closer it gets.

King: Drop? It’s getting colder?

Boomer: Here, look at the feed. It’s dropping a degree or two every foot.

Queen: Does that mean it really is just the helium coolant? What’s making it go all “Sphere” on us? And where are the reflections?

King: How cold is the surrounding area right there? Can we move in closer?

Boomer: Don’t see why not. It’s cooler than here, but we’re not talking Arctic storm.

King: Rook, Bishop, move around, see if you can get behind the orb, see what you can see.

Rook: Moving.

Boomer: Contact. Okay, so the surface of that thing is sitting at a brisk 55 Fahrenheit, 11.1 Celsius. Doesn’t seem to be any sort of skin on the thing, seems liquid all right. No sign of what’s suspending it, or what’s causing it to hold its shape.

King: Gotta be something at the center holding it like that. Maybe the collider created something, I heard some old conspiracy theories before that they were worried CERN might make a black hole. Rook, Bishop, what you got for me?

Bishop: Nothing back here sir, except some busted equipment. One weird thing though, I think the orb might have been a bit bigger when it first formed. There are some pretty clear indications that something scooped out anything that was near it. I think it might have eaten it when it popped into existence.

King: Good to know. Get back over here, I don’t want you near that thing when we send in the Talon.

Rook: Moving back to you

W Knight: Uh… sir? Look at where the Talon is making contact. It looks like veins or something.

Boomer: Pretty sure that’s just temperature flux from the Talon. Looks pretty though. Sorta like a Christmas tree ball or something. Silver with blue whorls.

King: Kasparov, permission to proceed?

Kasparov: Confirmed, you have authorization to see what Talon can find inside the center of that orb.

W Knight: How many licks do you think it’ll take?

King: Boomer, the floor is yours. Let’s see what we can see.

Boomer: Breaching surface. Video feed is good, manipulation arms in place. There doesn’t seem to be any sort of resistance to it.

Aries 2-1: Kasparov, be advised, we have movement on Sub-basement 1 again. Charon Team is requesting permission to take up positions in the main room on that floor.

Kasparov: Acknowledged, Aries 2-1, tell Charon they have permission to take positions. Tell them to make sure they’re carrying lethal arms this time.

King: Knight, set up and watch our back until Charon is in place. I don’t want any surprises, and I don’t like this timing.

W Knight: Me or him?

King: Both.

Boomer: Uh, something’s wrong. Talon has advanced 20 feet, but there’s no sign of the center. I think I might have driven it all the way through the orb. I’m just a few feet away from the wall now.

King: What? Queen, take Rook and circle around, we’ll try to guide it back in and find out what’s holding this thing together.

Queen: Gotcha, moving.

Aries 2-1: Kasparov, King, be advised, Charon teams have taken up position, your back is secure.

King: Appreciate it Aries. They see anything?

Charon 1-1: See, no. But it looks like a tornado went through here. Papers all over the place and chairs and desks have been pushed back. No footprints in the ash though, so I have no idea how.

Queen: Sir, uh, Talon hasn’t made it through this side.

Boomer: What? It must have, I’ve given it 25 feet of cord, it should be right up against the far wall.

Queen: Afraid not. It’s not through.

Boomer: Fuck’s sake. I can see it on the feed. It’s moved out of the orb. I can move it a little more and wave to mys-

(Brief silence)

Boomer: Something’s wrong. I can’t see any of us on the video feed.

King: I’m sorry, what?

Boomer: Look. There’s the desk, there’s the doors, there’s the racks, but no us.

B Knight: The hell?

W Knight: So we in the Twilight Zone or something?

King: Kasparov, this is King. I’m moving up to the orb.

Kasparov: That is strongly disadvised, King.

King: Noted. Queen, you’re in charge if something goes wrong.

Queen: Sir, I’m pretty sure we should hold off on that, we don’t know what the orb did to Talon.

King: At the surface of the orb now. It’s kinda chilly. Uh, doesn’t feel wet. Actually, doesn’t feel like anything, it’s like an air bubble. I’m inside now

Kasparov: King, be advised, we have lost your visual feed, I say again, we have no access to your visual feed.

Queen: We’re still seeing Talon video, what’s up with his?

Boomer: Talon has a cable, doesn’t rely on wireless transmission.

King: Okay, I’m fully through and out, walking around. (brief silence noted here) That’s really unsettling. I can see the Talon, but I don’t have eyes on my team. Moving forward to the door.

Boomer: Okay, we have King on the visual feed from Talon.

Queen: Jesus. He should be right next to us. What the fuck is this shit?

King: Holy mother of God. This isn’t right. Guys, look at this shit.

Queen: Sir, we’re coming in there to join you. Boomer, hold this position. Kasparov, come in.

Kasparov: Queen, this is Kasparov, send it.

Queen: We’re moving into the orb and going to support King. You’ll lose our video feed shortly.

Kasparov: What did King find, we’re blind here.

Queen: He found a flag.

King: Not just any flag. It’s a Kriegsmarine flag, but it’s in red, white and blue. Old Glory is sitting top left quadrant, but there’s an iron cross in the circle. The other quadrants are red, white and blue.

W Knight: You found what? That’s not possible.

King: There’s something else. There’s a plaque on the wall. Reads “For the advancement of the great Holy American Empire”. Something is very off here. It looks like this place hasn’t been touched in years. It’s filthy, much worse than just the ash in, uh, “our” facility.

Charon 1-1: Break, break, something is happening on sub-basement 1. Something in the far corner of the cubicle farm just turned on a light. Negative movement.

King: Hold up. There’s some footprints here in the dirt in the stairwell. I can’t identify them, one set, looks like it’s from something heavy. Shit. Oh, shit, this looks recent.

Queen: Knights, you’re with me, Bishop, Rook, hold positions until we give you the go ahead. King: do not move, we’re coming to you.

King: I’m moving up the stairwell. Tracks are going down, but I don’t see any going up.

W Knight: Can the fucker hear us? Captain, hold up, we’re moving in to support.

Queen: I don’t think comms are making it. Alright, double time this, no one goes anywhere alone, we gotta meet up with him.

King: At sub basement one. This place looks like it’s been deserted for decades. Some foot marks in the dirt. Can’t say what they belong to though. Some sort of biped though, from what I can see. Oh shit. I found a calendar. The last page torn off says July 11th. From 1999.

Queen: We’ve passed through the fracture, I have eyes on Talon. Captain, can you hear me now?

King: Queen? Yeah, I read you. Get up here, you have to see this to believe it.

Rook: Queen, this is Rook. Charon team is here with Boomer, we’re moving on your position now, stand by.

(brief silence, static)

Queen: Oh yeah, this isn’t creepy at all. There any notes? Anything written on any of the calendars? Spread out, see if you can find anything to paint us a picture.

Unconfirmed Sender (believed to be Black Knight): Did you hear that? Shit, something’s above us.

King: Positions, we’re pushing up to the ground floor, Knights, you’re on me. Queen, hold back with Rook and Bishop until we breach the top door, then follow us up. Safeties off, gentlemen.

(approximately 30 seconds of silence, followed by a loud bang)

King: Sweep forward, check your corners. Queen, move up.

Queen: Moving.

Rook: Jesus, what is this, the American Pripyat? Every pane of glass is busted out, looks like a mob came through here. Front door is wide open.

King: Cover me, Black Knight, left side, White Knight, stay on my ass. I’m moving to the door.

W Knight: Gotcha boss.

(brief silence)

King: The fuck? Okay, yeah this place has officially moved into permanent residence in the Twilight Zone. Kasparov, we are not in Kansas, I say again, we are not in Kansas.

Unknown Sender: Fucking Christ! Man down!

(Automatic gunfire is heard through radio)

Unknown Sender: Kill it! Stagger fire, move back to the door! No, fucking drag him back, Collins, go cyclic, I don’t give a shit if you melt the barrel, don’t let it move!

Kasparov: Last calling station, report.

Charon 1-1: This is Charon, we have two… No, three men down! Something is in here, Sub-basement 1, I can’t say what, I don’t have eyes on it!

Aries 2-1: There’s nothing on the feed, I don’t see jack shit!

Charon 1-1: We’re pulling out, I can’t even say for sure that we hit it! Everyone take positions on the door, do not let it through, we’re gonna seal the door shut until we-

(Screams, further gunfire)

Kasparov: All callsigns this net, instructions to follow. Chessboard, hold position, Aries, move a secondary team into position to support callsign Boomer. All Bia callsigns, move to sub-basement 1, your orders are to shoot on sight. More to follow.

[scriptmedic]

Pharmacology for Writers: Benzodiazepines (Valium, Ativan, Xanax, and More)

This post was sponsored by @tafferlicious on Patreon! Thanks so much for your sponsorship. Want to sponsor a post every month? Consider Becoming a Patron!

  What Do Benzos Do, Exactly? What Are They Used For?

Benzodiazepines act as a central nervous system depressant. That has a multitude of different effects, and honestly, they’re a uniquely useful class of drug.

They can be used to treat muscle spasms, anxiety, and sleep disorders. They can keep a patient sedated both in the short term or the long term. Some of them can even stop seizures.

One of the benefits—and terrifying side effects—of benzos are their ability to keep the brain from forming memories. This makes them extremely useful for procedural sedation, for people like me who may need things like dental surgery but want to be blissfully memory-free of the process. However, this leads to another use of benzos as, well, date-rape drugs.

Want to learn more? Read on, fair human!

(trigger warning: pharmacology of date rape drugs mentioned. No images or descriptions of sexual assault occur. One bit about dentistry and consent.)

Benzos: An Abbreviated List

Because there are an awful lot of these drugs on the market, I’m going to keep it relatively short, and list only the most common benzodiazepines available. Different meds are used for different things and come in different forms, so I’ll list that too!

Oh, and as for abbreviations: PO = oral (usually a pill, but sometimes a liquid suspension for kids); IM = intramuscular (a shot in the arm, leg or buttock), IN = Intranasal (can be administered up the nose), IV = intravenous.  Anxiolysis means “breaking up anxiety”, or reducing it.

diazepam (Valium): PO / IV. Used for muscle relaxation, stopping active seizures, anxiolysis,  as a sleep aid (short term). Limited use for sedating violent patients because an IV must be in place. In babies, diazepam can also be given per rectum (up the butt) to stop seizures.

lorazepam (Ativan): PO / IV / IM. Long acting. Used for stopping active seizures, anxiolysis, sedation of violent patients. Falling out of favor for seizure and chemical restraint because of its long-lasting effects (up to 8 hours).

midazolam (Versed): PO / IV / IM / IN. Very powerful sedative effects. Used for stopping seizures, sedation of violent patients, and sedation in the ICU / OR. This medication is very commonly used in ICUs because of this, and is the first-line choice for stopping seizures in patients without IVs in place.

alprazolam (Xanax): PO only. Primarily used for anxioslysis. Highly addictive.

triazolam (Halcion): PO only. Primarily used for procedural sedation and anxiolysis.

clonazepam (Klonidine Klonopin thanks anon!): PO only. Primarily used for anxiolysis and as a newer, less-addictive alternative to alprazolam.

I will say this: as a provider who works in the emergency and intensive/critical care setting, if I had to only ever have one benzo on hand, I would take midazolam and never look back.

  What Does It Feel Like To Be On A Benzo?

Characters under the effects of benzodiazepines may feel drowsy, dizzy, “dopey”, “loopy”, like their limbs are very heavy, like their eyelids are heavy. They may also feel giddy. Benzos suppress inhibitions, so people may be an interesting combination of silly and drowsy.

Under a strong enough dose, benzos can cause characters to fall asleep.

Memories of time while on a benzo, particularly one with strong amnestic effects like triazolam or midazolam, can be blurry. Characters may remember one or two key events during a period of sedation, or they may simply not remember it at all.

I had triazolam three times for dental procedures. The first time I didn’t remember anything, the second time I remembered stressful events (but I don’t remember feeling stressed), and the third time I remembered nothing again.

However, the first time I was apparently still extremely anxious, to the point of crying and asking for my wife. (I’m an EXTREMELY nervous dental patient. I had my trust massively violated by a dentist as a kid, by which I mean, if you ask a kid if it’s okay to keep drilling, and she says NO, you fucking stop, you piece of shit, balloon gloves don’t replace consent.)

Ahem. Sorry. 

Are There Side Effects?

There can be. Benzodiazepines often cause dizziness, drowsiness, foggy thinking, weakness, an unsteady gait (stumbly walk).

It’s more rare, but they can cause disorientation, depression, sleep disturbances, and memory impairment.

When a character has a paradoxical reaction, even though they’ve been given a stimulant, they may become more excited, agitated, and aggressive.

Also, any benzo given in high enough doses can be enough to trigger respiratory depression or even apnea (lack of spontaneous breathing).

All of these side effects are potentiated (made stronger and more likely) when benzos are taken while the person has also been drinking alcohol.

  Are Benzos Addictive?

They can be. Those who take them every day can become physically dependent on them, dependent those who stop taking them suddenly can have seizures, nausea, vomiting, body aches, anxiety, double vision, profuse sweating, and more. This can happen with a sudden discontinuation or even a dose reduction.

Severe symptoms can include seizures, delirium, psychosis, and hallucinations. Seizures can be fatal if not treated.

  Why Do Benzos Stop Seizures?

GABA receptors, the same receptors that benzodiazepines hit, are CNS depressants. That means they can reduce overall activity, such as the uncontrolled activity of a seizure.

However, the longer a seizure goes on, the more GABA receptors are inactivated, which is  why patients who’ve been seizing for >10 minutes may not respond to benzos, and may need another class of drug. This condition of prolonged seizure activity, by the way, is called status epilepticus.

You Mentioned Date Rape Drugs?

Yes.

This is the downside of a class of drugs like benzos, that have both sedation, inhibition lowering, and amnestic effects. Some asshole is going to use it incorrectly. Some asshole is going to abuse it.

And that is absolutely awful. The way our society, or at least American society, handles sexual assault is atrocious, much less when it comes to those involving alcohol and drugs, whether the victim willingly ingested them or not.

That kind of abuse of something designed to be therapeutic gets me really steamed.

However, benzos help millions of people worldwide each year. Without them the odds of stopping ongoing seizures would be very slim. And millions of people have anxiety that is eased with a low dose of benzodiazepine. Two of them are in my family.

And even if we got rid of all the benzos in all the world.... assholes would find a way.

Assholes always find a way.

  Was this post helpful to you? Drop a comment or share it around!

And thanks for reading :)

xoxo, Aunt Scripty

Disclaimer

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