#SPN 1x21

[2sw]

Supernatural S1E13 Route 666 // S1E21 Salvation

[angelsdean]

*record scratch* freeze frame. Reality Check. "You're the one who came and got me at school. You're the one who dragged me back into this." let's re-evaluate that statement, Sam, because that is not, in fact, what happened.

The context in which Sam makes this statement is that he's arguing Dean used to care about the revenge quest and killing the demon because Dean is the one that came and got Sam and thus "dragged him back" into the quest to kill the demon. But, that is not why Dean went to get Sam at school, it was to find John, who was missing and possibly dead. Dean didn't even Know about the demon at this point (they don't find out that "the thing that killed mom" is a demon til 1x11) or that John was closing in on it. Dean goes to Stanford to ask Sam to help him look for John, that's it. Then, at the end of 1x01 Dean brings Sam back to school in time for his interview as promised, and drives away. He only turns around when, in the deleted scene, he notices his watch has stopped, cluing him in that something is wrong. And he gets there in time to save Sam from the burning building.

Sam then makes the choice to leave with Dean because now that he's lost someone, he is personally invested in finding John because John knows more about the thing that killed Mary (and now Jess) than anyone, and Sam is the one who is now consumed by the need for revenge and the first step in getting that revenge is finding John, something he had no vested interest in doing before, but is now heavily invested in, even more than Dean is, as we see throughout the first half of s1 where Sam is often the one calling around looking for John and is more interested in searching for John than taking on random cases.

Anyways, it's just so interesting to track this revisionism of events and how both Sam and Dean come to accept this as the truth when it's literally not what we saw happen throughout the season. And we see Dean start to absorb this belief after Meg plants the seed in their heads in 1x16, trying to drive a wedge between them, by falsely saying Dean "drags Sam around like luggage" when literally the whole reason Sam and Meg meet is because Sam wanted to part ways in 1x11 and Dean let him go. Sam then comes back and decides to stay all on his own, even after Dean offers to drop Sam off somewhere.

Dean expresses in 1x16, that yes, he wants Sam around, he wants his family together again, but at the end of that very episode Dean is also the one who says they need to split up from John, even though it's the last thing he wants. Dean consistently is willing to let people go, even if it's not what he personally wants. And especially Sam. Over and over throughout the season he expressed how he wants Sam to have a normal life, is willing to let Sam go, or stay in some random town and drop the search for John. So even IF Dean did secretly want Sam to stick around when he went to get Sam at Stanford, he never expected it. Never enforced it.

That Sam comes to think Dean "dragged him back" into hunting is a purely revisionism and a bit of projection, I think, because Sam might not want to face the truth of the matter which is that he consistently chose to stick with hunting, and actually enjoys it more than he'd like to admit. And, as both he and John express, this quest to kill Yellow Eyes becomes "their" obsession. Not Dean's. Dean is the one who says he'd rather they never find the demon if it means losing his family. Dean is the one that says getting revenge isn't worth dying for. And then, Sam takes this to heart, when at the end of 1x22 he refuses to kill John Possessed by Azazel at Dean's pleading, AND when he tells John that killing this demon does not come "before everything" while eyeing Dean bleeding out in the backseat.

Dean was never the one invested in revenge. He did not come get Sam from Stanford to aid in the family revenge quest, he came for help in finding their missing father, something Dean cared abt simply because that's family, and Dean cares deeply, despite everything John put them through. Dean is the one that cares, the heart of the narrative, etc etc. He comes to Sam because he is alone in the world, because their only other blood relative is missing, because it's a very human thing, to reach out, to want family around. And still, he was always going to let Sam go after the 1x01. He didn't like it. It's not what Dean wanted. But he was going to let him go back to his life. Sam chose to follow Dean and continue searching for John.

[shallowbelever]

Supernatural | 1.21 Salvation

[pagannatural]

1.21 Salvation

-John finally, after some 22 years, lets his sons in on his plans and shows them everything he’s got on the demon that killed their mom and Jess.

-John is such a good character. I’m not really interested in liking or disliking him, I just love his part in this story. He reacted to an unimaginable situation in a human way. Who among us can say, really, how we would parent two small children if our wife was brutally murdered on the ceiling by a demon who then burned down our entire house? John truly thought the whole world was a war zone so he made his kids soldiers rather than getting them to safety. To understand John you have to understand that Safe and Normal as concepts were destroyed for him. He wanted to protect his boys so badly that he tried to prepare them and toughen them and train them but he also wanted to shield them so he hid as much as he could from them. He taught them that people were dying and they were responsible for stopping it. He put all of that on their way-too-young shoulders all while refusing to trust them or let them in.

Under all that pressure, Sam and Dean created their own world, their bubble of safety with each other. They give each what they need in the most vital and fundamental sense, nourishing each other in a hostile environment. They share something that no one else could ever understand.

So thanks, John.

-“It’s not your problem, it’s our problem” is an objectively kind and supportive thing to say so I’m proud of Dean for managing to shout it angrily at Sam. Such passion such energy

-Sam looks like a little kid this whole scene where Dean and John are arguing about parenting him. Dean stands up to John again and defends himself. He’s Sam’s daddy now (sorry)

-John tells Sam “I want you to go to school, I want Dean to have a home” which is hilarious to me because it implies that he thinks of Dean as a homeless man (which he is).

Dean glances at Sam when John says this and then hangs his head. Sam is his home. And he feels responsible for Sam leaving school (which he is).

-In the car Sam tells Dean “I want to thank you” but the you comes out as “ya”. This happens another time when Sam tells Dean “I still love you” (or something close to that) in s5e11. It’s unusual for Sam. He doesn’t ya his you’s regularly at the end of a sentence. Jared and Jensen both have typical midwestern accents on the show. Jared intentionally changes his speech pattern when he’s possessed, so that words like “wasn’t” or “doesn’t” are enunciated when normally Sam pronounces it like “wud’n” or “dud’n” with a very soft “d.”

Point being, something is causing Sam to shy off of saying these things and making them sound too serious so he says “I want to thank ya” which sounds more casual. When he’s lost in emotion (like later when he throws Dean against a wall and says “don’t you say that”), he enunciates his you’s. I think this is unintentional of Sam and intentional of Jared. Sam’s trying not to scare Dean off or sound too confessional- he’s seen how Dean reacts to that.

-Sam says “even when I couldn’t count on anyone”

Dean gave him consistency and safety and the knowledge that he was always loved. Dean’s his sanctuary.

-Dean says the house is “burning to the ground, it’s suicide”

“I don’t care” “I do”

Sam is reckless. He has a safe place to land, so he often acts without really thinking through the consequences, and Dean is always there for him. This is the THIRD house fire Dean has protected Sam from. Interesting that Sam asked Jessica, his Dean replacement, “what would I do without you?” in ep1 and she said “crash and burn.” Actually that’s what you would do without Dean :)

-Sam says killing the demon is “all we’ve ever cared about” he doesn’t realize that Dean has always cared more about him than about revenge or justice or whatever else. Dean would rather have Sam. Wild that Sam doesn’t know he’s Dean’s top priority yet. I wonder if he knew that pre-Stanford?

-Sam gets angry when Dean says they can’t bring Jessica or their mom back. It mirrors Dean slamming Sam against the wall in ep1 when he told Dean their mom is never coming back. Sam’s anger melts as soon as Dean speaks and he ends up just kind of grasping Dean’s shirt and pressing into him with this desperate look on his face. They look at each other’s mouths.

-Dean is accepting of Sam grabbing him and throwing him against a wall, just like Sam handles it in s2 when Dean punches him in the face. They have no normal way to express how intensely they feel about each other so it comes out as violence or care when one is injured. Love and need and pain are inextricable between them- they love each other in ways that are painful. So they just submit to each other like Yes, finally something that feels strong enough. It’s like it’s soothing to express and receive each other’s needs, even as pain. It has to come out somehow.

-Dean says that the three of them are all he has and “sometimes I feel like I’m barely holding it together” Dean doesn’t let himself fall apart, and he wants to fall apart with Sam here, begging Sam to be careful with his life, to understand that he needs Sam. He’s saying Please don’t get hurt, I need you, I’m falling apart.

Sam could kiss him right now. Dean’s not holding it together enough to try pushing Sam away or protecting him from their feelings.

-Dean says “without you and dad, I-” and I think that Dean obviously loves and cares about John but the real issue is that he couldn’t say “without you, I-” on network television because they would have just made out. The mention of their dad brings Sam back to himself. He turns away from Dean and lets go of him with what looks like some effort. Dean looks lost and he’s also still tilting his head up with his lips parted looking like Sam didn’t kiss him. Sam asks him to call John.

-This parallels when Dean told Sam to call Sarah in 1x19. Dean calls even though he’s still emotionally involved in the conversation with Sam and didn’t finish what he was saying. He’s just admitted something that was difficult for him, and Sam reacted by pulling away, distancing himself, exactly as Dean did when Sam admitted Jessica isn’t the main reason he’s not interested in anyone.

I’m a John-would-kill-Dean truther if he found out about anything untoward going on between his boys, so the mention of their Dad and the fact that he’s in danger would absolutely make Sam force himself away from Dean.

This specific dynamic of Sam pleading with Dean for something and Dean surrendering brokenly to Sam in a Please give it to me Please just take it loop where neither is willing to act makes me want to chew on my own ribcage.

[mishaesque]

Scenic Supernatural 1.21 Salvation

[justpadaleckisackles]

Sam and Dean in every episode: 1x21 ➡️ Salvation

[shirtlesssammy]

Dean Winchester every day -- 21/326

Supernatural 1x21//Salvation

[arcanespillo]

Squeeze, The X-files 1.03/

Salvation, Supernatural 1.21

[2sw]

Sam + bags 🎒💼

(+)

[locke-esque-monster]

Has anyone considered that John Winchester's truck was abandoned in Lincoln after the events of 1x21? I mean, sure John was kidnapped by demons and then died, and sure, the tires were slashed, but as far as I'm aware the boys never picked it up, at least not in any canon I've seen. There's no mention of it anywhere I see between John finding the slashed tires in 1x21 through his funeral in 2x2.

For two people trying to pick up John's trail of the YED, that seems like a major oversight. (On the other hand they seem to have his notes to give to Ash, so maybe they did pick it up at one point off-screen.)

That said, considering John was worried when the Impala was impounded he didn't want some junkman finding the arsenal in the truck, wouldn't he be somewhat concerned about the truck's arsenal too? This is not a subtle truck that blends in, and even if it was, it'll eventually draw attention if it's abandoned long enough.

I just have this vision the Lincoln chop shop employee/junkman/police officer who found this vehicle in utter bafflement of the amount of weapons and occult items stored in this abandoned truck. And any employee at the site who found the truck treating it like their own urban legend/mystery who could have possibly owned that truck and why it was abandoned with slashed tires, never to return.

[deancaslover]

All these years I told myself I remembered who Pastor Jim was. Well I'm watching 1x21 and I'm like "oh so that was Pastor Jim huh" :)

[angelsdean]

totally forgot abt pastor Jim dying in this ep. and….the way John reacts 👀. first he’s angry abt it, goes into drill sergeant mode barking orders, and then he gets really quiet and somber:

JOHN nods at them and they all turn back to their cars. JOHN stops, leaning on his trunk. DEAN turns back as he opens his door and pauses.

DEAN

Dad?

JOHN

(upset) Yeah. It's Jim. You know, I can't....(his face hardens) This ends, now. I'm ending it. I don't care what it takes.

And if this is the same “Murph” from spnwin that John was war buddies with…. Mmm.

Also this line, after Meg calls and taunts John by admitting to killing Jim Murphy and torturing another friend:

JOHN

No Sam. I want to stop losing people we love.

Like yes obvs Mary and Jess, but in the context of just hearing another friend get tortured and killed and his emotional response to Jim’s death I am simply going. Hm.

[stealingdeansgender]

1x21 (Salvation):

“SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I’M BARELY HOLDING IT TOGETHER, MAN”

the whole confrontation between the boys is just — painful!! it’s PAINFUL OK. Sam’s gone full in on the hunt to his detriment and Dean just doesn’t want anyone he loves to DIE. Dean looks scared — and it isn’t being scared of Sam, it’s being scared that whatever’s inside of John is inside of Sam.

and that’s RIGHT BEFORE the reveal at the end w/ Meg. nobody look at me I’m fragile

[sapphicsapphiresunset]

1x21 Salvation

Oh hey Pastor Jim and Caleb. Oh. Bye Pastor Jim and Caleb.

It is funny that these characters that are implied as pretty important to the winchester boys growing up show up to just instantly die.  Except Bobby. At least we have Bobby. 

And then John’s all like ‘blah blah blah you should’ve called me bout Sam’s visions” and then Dean’s like, “dude. seriously?” and then I’m like, “dude. seriously.”

[deanstudies101]

1x21, Salvation

Critical theory: Differing expectations—who is responsible for Sam? 

Key quotes: Pastor Jim, “Salvation was created for sinners.”; John, “I want you to go to school, and I want Dean to have a home.”; Dean, ”The three of us, it's all we have. It's all I have.”

Discussion: John is very willing to sacrifice himself in the same way that Dean is… but in this situation Dean isn’t willing for them to sacrifice themselves. They’ve already saved the people, he doesn’t need more than that. 

[stonenumberone]

SUPERNATURAL 1x21 Salvation

Sam look. The three of us.. that's all we have... that's all I have. Sometimes I feel like I'm barely holding it together man.. and without you or Dad...